#which is rare?? and I appreciate so much??

[akutasoda]

in the morning light [part 2]

[part 1 here!]

synopsis - what it's like sharing a bed with them

includes - dr. ratio, ruan mei, argenti, kafka, blade, luocha, jing yuan, jiaoqiu

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, slight angst, i still have no clue what im doing, might be ooc, wc - 1.2k

a/n: absolutely blown away at how many people enjoyed the first part, so uhh here you go? maybe a genshin ver in the future if i get round to it and if people want it?

dr ratio ★↷

↪an absolute stickler for a proper routine, and an advanced one at that - he has high standards to uphold and never misses a step before bed and in the morning. he wouldn't mind of you did yours alongside him but he probably won't notice you for long. a major part is obviously his baths, he would not go a day without one.

↪sometimes he can join you in bed quite late, he either has students work to mark or simply cannot put his own work down. even when he joins you he probably falls asleep after you as he likes to indulge in late night reading.

↪a sort of mix between comfy and basic when it comes to his actual bed, it's simplistic yet extremely comfortable - in the morning it's pretty difficult to leave with how cozy it can be.

↪doesn't really move alot in his sleep, the occasional shuffle but not much. he isn't exactly a cuddler but if you want to he doesn't mind at all. however because he doesn't move much, if you two fall asleep cuddling then he needs to wake up first - which is normal - otherwise you're trapped in his embrace.

↪most mornings he does wake up super early and leaves quite early as well - he always gives you a kiss on your forehead before he leaves. on the rare days he has off, he stays in bed with you until you wake up and whenever your ready, he gets ready alongside you.

ruan mei ★↷

↪she is an extreme night owl. her lab work often keeps her very busy and if she starts a train of thought then she can't rest until she's seen it out to the fullest. most nights she does encourage you to not wait up for her for this very reason - ruan mei greatly appreciates if you do however.

↪her routine is either short or rather extensive, it just depends on how much time she has. morning routines are much longer more consistently as she tends to wake up rather early.

↪usually her bed is rather basic but you seemed to have contaminated it with what you prefer but she doesn't mind in the slightest. if you like her cat cake creations then she may have gifted you a few custom ones to keep you company.

↪surprisingly can be quite the fidgeter in her sleep, not drastic movements but she's just used to being busy. again, not exactly a cuddler but isn't against it if you wish as she knows she isn't around much so would indulge you.

↪most days when you wake up she isn't there but there's always a small note from her to you that is extremely heartfelt.

argenti ★↷

↪the most extravagant routine you've ever seen, the knight of beauty very clearly has a great routine for both mornings and nights. enjoys when you do yours alongside him and will always find time to do so.

↪he still looks pristine in the morning when he first wakes up, it's hard to believe he just woke up. although it may be helped by the fact that he has the most elegant bed that is very hard to leave in the morning.

↪not much of a mover but he can adjust quite a bit sometimes in his sleep. and if you're okay with it, he wants nothing more than to hold you in his embrace for the entire night. argenti is somewhat of a light sleeper however, so if you move alot then he easily wakes up but doesn't mind.

↪sometimes he has to leave early, sometimes he doesn't. it depends on whether or not he has a duty to fulfill but does get up early nonetheless. most days he'd let you sleep but if you need to get up he always wakes you with a kiss and a compliment.

kafka ★↷

↪being a stellaron hunter doesn't always allow for a proper nights rest but most times it does. however kafka cares quite a bit about such things and so when she can, she'll take the opportunity for a good night's sleep.

↪she's used to sleeping in bare minimum conditions but if she could choose, kafka would prefer more comfortable arrangements. so she's very accommodating to what you'd prefer to have your shared bed like.

↪enjoys taking time with a night time routine but sometimes she can't but isn't that fussed so long as she gets the bare minimum done. she would love if you joined her but again wouldn't mind if you're not that keen on such extensive routines.

↪she can be rather clingy - on purpose. kafka loves nothing more than relaxing with you in her arms and won't let up until she's content. the only time she needs to wake up is when she's executing one of elio's scripts so good luck escaping her grasp otherwise.

blade ★↷

↪again, being a stellaron hunter doesn't always allow for a proper nights rest but most times it does. although blade doesn't exactly have the greatest sense of having a good night's sleep.

↪absolute bare minimum for a routine, he doesn't exactly see why it should be anything more but fortunately kafka's influence has caused him to have some care. you're almost jealous that he can do bare minimum and still look like he does.

↪also goes for bare minimum when it comes to sleeping arrangements, he doesn't care what his bed's like. so he doesn't exactly care what you'd prefer as he would just go along with it.

↪when he does sleep, he sleeps like the dead. he barely moves to the point that sometimes you're convinced he's not even there, the only indicator that he's actually alive is the occasional twitch in his hands.

↪unfortunately, he can be prone to his mara-struck condition flaring up in his sleep which may take some getting used to seeing but he takes it upon himself to sleep elsewhere id he knows it is likely to happen to avoid scaring you.

↪prefers to have his own side of the bed and isn't a cuddler. after a very long while, he might indulge you if you are a cuddler but not always. he's also an extremely light sleeper that wakes up super early.

luocha ★↷

↪as a travelling merchant, he doesn't tend to stay in one place for long, so you would most likely travel with him. due to this, he isn't exactly fussed with where he sleeps and is used to bare minimum. he wouldn't mind in the slightest of you decide to change a few things however.

↪nightly and morning routines are important to him. he needs to maintain appearances and so can have rather extensive routines that he wouldn't mind you joining him with.

↪another light sleeper and sometimes you forget he's there because he barely moves. he's perfectly fine with cuddling and fine with not, although sometimes he does prefer his space.

↪never really has anywhere to go in a rush unless he knows he has people to meet or things to do, but he still wakes up early. however he normally would wait for you to wake up as he likes to start his day with you.

jing yuan ★↷

↪the dozing general has that title for a reason. despite the fact that he practically is on the verge of falling asleep most of the time during the day, he sleeps alot. it can be under any condition at any time but he does have a tendency to indulge in comfort.

↪has an extremely comfortable bed that is normally also occupied by mimi and so it can get very warm, very quickly which is a pain in the summer. this isn't really helped by the fact that he is extremely clingy, like to the max.

↪he always states that he sleeps better when his body is entangled with yours and knowing you're safe there with him, but he will respect if you aren't that much of a cuddler.

↪unfortunately he moves around a lot and because he's clung to you, you move with him. sometimes you two end up upside down at the foot of the bed and it baffles you that he can move that much. he is also an extremely heavy sleeper in your shared bed so good luck escaping him - when he's dozing at work he is a light sleeper however.

↪most days he does have to drag himself out of bed to work but aeons save you if he has a rare dayoff. you're never leaving if he doesn't let you as he forces you to let him indulge in your presence while he gets a lie-in. if you have somewhere to be he reluctantly lets you go but very stubbornly.

↪the worst bed hair you've ever seen, he always looks like he's been through it and spends ages sorting his hair. this paired with his actual morning routine means he takes ages getting ready. his night time routine is shorter as he knows it's rendered useless overnight.

jiaoqiu ★↷

↪he cares about his appearance as he does have quite the reputation to uphold and so his routines are always important and extensive - especially when managing his tail and ears to ensure that they aren't messy.

↪also goes all out for his bed, he knows what helps get a better night's sleep and he prefers to get the best sleep he can. so he might be a bit hesitant to let you change most of it but he's willing to compromise.

↪the absolute worst when it comes to sleeping, he's annoying, he knows it, and takes it in pride. has to be cuddled up to you and he wraps his tail over you to ensure that you don't go anywhere unless you have to. he barely moves but his tail is the menace mainly - it flicks and moves around alot and often ends up in your face.

↪normally wakes up relatively early and will wake you up if you need to. mentioned this before but, he will wake you up earlier if you braid his usual braid as he enjoys having you do so - he has absolutely no remorse for doing so. although if he has time, he will make breakfast for the two of you.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn

[edenfenixblogs]

I respect your opinion that screenshotting is a normal part of discourse, however, that behavior is restricted to online communications and has only recently become normalized in certain communities, which does not mean that it is normal. I cannot understand that you think my comment about how Jews can function as white in certain contexts has led you to remark the following (forgive me if I mistake you): "I don’t hate you. But I am scared of you. I am scared that you hate me and my people, because so many people do and have shown that they do." Please reconsider your position on deleting both posts, and I offer you my promise that I will never speak to anyone on this site on any issue ever again, as I have very rarely ever used this site for that reason. I respect your feelings regarding virulent hate that you've received in comments, but I am a very private person, and I do not like having my blog name across parts of tumblr that I do not frequent. I only responded when your post came across my dash by chance because the statement that Jews are emphatically not white struck me as ludicrous insofar that it suggests that there is a kind of immutable Whiteness that *is* real. In the course of my response, I have been called an "ass" by your followers; a lifelong reader, my "reading comprehension" has been insulted by one excessively pleasant Jennifer; I was told that "race as a social construct is very much real" by someone in Germany, as if I don't know that after living my entire life as a woman of color in America. I have been, in short, utterly baffled and horrified by my communications with all of you. My comments were not intended to be a statement on antisemitism, or whether Jewish pain is real (of which I believe you accused me), or whether Jewish people can be considered "other" in this century or centuries past, but that is how they have been universally interpreted by you and your bullying, hectoring followers.

So there’s a lot going on here. And I’m not sure how I feel about all of it. So I’ll attempt to break it down.

1. I respect that you’re a private person. I will consider altering my post so that my commentary beneath it is removed on only your words as you wrote them will be visible. I will also delete your username from the screenshots. I may also delete the post entirely, but if I do that’s something I’ll need to mull over for a few hours to a few days. The reason I cannot outright commit to deleting the whole thing right now is because of the aforementioned need to archive comments that trigger trauma responses in Jewish communities.

2. I don’t want you to feel like you cannot speak on any issue. You can and should speak on issues if you’re passionate about them. But you should understand that when you’re speaking on communities of which you are not a part, you may be met with ire at the way you speak on things triggers issues you may previously have been unaware of. And not everyone will be patient or kind when you do so.

3. Name calling is not something I encourage or participate in. Followers, please don’t call people names on my behalf, although I very much appreciate your attempt to defend me. It is not necessary and doesn’t foster peace.

4. I don’t think you understand: your reading comprehension was poor in this case. This is not an indictment of your intelligence broadly speaking, nor is it an indictment of your general reading comprehension skills. The point of my post was to explain that the racial categorization of Jews is unfixed. Even white-passing Jews have to contend with uncertainty of how they are perceived with the ever present fear that this can change at any time. While some Jews may self-identify as white, most that I have met do not. Neither do many of us identify as POC. We are a liminal group in between.

There is a lot of discourse about Jewish whiteness these days, which I have discussed before on this blog. The main points here are that even white-passing Ashkenazi Jews with some ties to Europe are not white as a result of privilege and therefore our status as white cannot be associated with privilege (although we do of course benefit from white-passing privilege). White-passing Jews with historical ties to Europe are often white as a result of mass murder and sexual assault. Meaning: those of us who were too ethnic appearing for Europe were murdered. Those of us who looked “white enough” were sexually assaulted and forced to bear the whiter children of their rapists. This was done so thoroughly to Jews over the course of a few centuries in Europe that many of the surviving Jews with European ancestry today have whiter skin than many of our Sephardi or Mizrahi counterparts. And while other “white”peoples in Europe benefited from their European appearance during the previous few centuries, Jews did not. In most countries we were forced to live in ghettos, denied citizenship, only allowed to work certain jobs and then demonized as if we conspired to control those industries before finally being slaughtered in the millions by people who despised us specifically for being not white enough. In fact, Hitler described as an “Asiatic race.” American white supremacists consider us middle eastern usurpers, as do many European white supremacists. In the Middle East they call us white colonizers. And none of this has anything to do with how we look. It has everything to do with what those who condemn us hate most. Which is why I made my initial post in the first place.

Jewish white passing privilege in the United States is completely different than Irish or Italian white privileged, because of the historical circumstances surrounding our perception in Europe, America, and around the world.

And none of this even begins to touch on the infinitely nuanced experiences of black and brown Jews in America, Europe, and elsewhere. Nor does this address the loss of whiteness experienced by gerim (Jews by choice) who grew up with full white privilege and have experienced a distinct loss of that privilege after conversion.

Jews as a people predate the modern concepts and categorizations of race, religion, and ethnicity. These are words and concepts that came into existence long after Jews already existed. And as such, these terms often fail to account for our experiences in myriad ways.

To put it mildly, race as a concept is a very thorny topic for Jews.

5. If my statement struck you as ludicrous, a better course of action would have been to ask what I meant or to look into what I have already said on the subject in reblogs of that very post. But you didn’t. You came into a post by a Jewish person and imposed your understanding and definition of race onto us. As so often happens by non-Jews. And then you spoke down to us by calling us fools. That hurt. Not just emotionally. It hurt in that it causes harm to my community by thoughtlessly igniting cultural wounds. In future, if you see a cultural group of any kind talking about an experience that strikes you as ludicrous, seek understanding. Seek to understand why we feel that way.

6. I did not bully you. Nor did my followers, except those who chose to call you names. Which I do not endorse. We expressed anger at you, because we are angry. We have a right to both feel and express that anger. We are not bullies for having feelings and communicating them. While I always advocate for civility, we do not owe politeness to those who harm us. We should not meet harm with harm. But we don’t have to always be perfect and kind and sweet and understanding. Sometimes, we can be angry.

7. We have all agreed that race is a construct. You. Me. My followers. The German person who you mentioned. What we are having a miscommunication about is how the status of race as a construct uniquely affects Jews in ways that are different from the experiences of both white people in Europe and America as well as from the experiences of other racial and ethnic minority groups. We all know that whiteness is not immutable. What we are all trying to communicate to you is that whiteness as a concept does not now nor has it ever been fully applied to or embraced by Jews as a community.

I want to be very clear: I still don’t hate you. I’m upset about the whole situation—both our conflict here and the status and topic of Jewish ethnicity more broadly. I am trying very hard here to speak clearly and with understanding and compassion for you and your privacy while also remaining steadfast in communicating the feelings of my fellow Jews in hopes that you will understand how and why we have reacted to you in the way that we have. I am also terrified that you will walk away from this interaction feeling negatively about Jews in general and that this will be my fault. Because any less than perfectly sweet and emphatically kind behavior from us as a community so often held as evidence of our terrible [insert negative quality here] and used as an excuse to write us off.

I can tell that you don’t mean us harm as a group nor do you want to be perceived as antisemitic. But just like any systemic prejudice, it must be actively dismantled. Until it is examined and dismantled, its existence will continue to lead you to unintentionally harm us. Antisemitism is a deeply ingrained systemic prejudice. Literally everyone has it until they do the work to get rid of it. That is what I am asking of you. That is what my followers are asking of you. Even if we didn’t ask in the most perfectly polite and self-effacing way.

[moonselune]

hi!! If you want, could you do the ladies with a tav who usually does not show much emotion (not for any big reasons they just arent expressive at all) but because of their affection they smile and open up more without even realizing it themselves?

aww this is so cute!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Karlach:

Karlach’s presence was like a warm hearth in the cold wilderness of your emotions. Her infectious laughter and boundless energy gradually chipped away at the walls you had built around yourself. You usually didn't show much emotion—not for any significant reason, just naturally reserved. But Karlach's affection was a powerful force, capable of melting even the hardest hearts.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a golden hue across the camp, Karlach found you sitting alone, quietly mending your gear. She approached with her usual enthusiasm, her smile lighting up her face.

"Hey there, need any help?" she asked, plopping down beside you.

You glanced at her, a faint smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "I'm almost done, but thank you."

Karlach noticed the subtle change in your demeanor. "You know, I've been watching you," she said, her tone playful. "You always seem so serious, so composed. But I've seen you smile more lately."

You looked down, a bit self-conscious. "Have I?"

"Yes, you have. And it's beautiful," she replied, reaching out to gently touch your hand.

You felt a warmth spread through you, and without realizing it, a genuine smile spread across your face. "It's because of you," you admitted softly. "You make it easy to feel…happy."

Karlach's eyes softened, and she leaned in to kiss your forehead. "I'm glad. You deserve to be happy, you know. To feel joy."

Karlach's affection continued to draw you out of your shell. Her spontaneous hugs, her laughter, and her unwavering support made you feel cherished. You found yourself laughing more, opening up about your thoughts and dreams, and even initiating moments of affection. You loved to see the delighted surprised look she got, when you did.

Karlach had a way of making you feel seen, loved, and appreciated, and it transformed you in ways you hadn't thought possible.

One night, as you both lay under the stars, Karlach pulled you close, her arms wrapped around you protectively. "I love seeing you like this," she murmured. "I love seeing you happy."

You nestled into her embrace, your heart full. "Thank you, Karlach. And I love you, truly, for everything."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Minthara:

Minthara was an enigma, a fierce and commanding presence that demanded respect and obedience. You, on the other hand, were composed and rarely showed much emotion. Which often meant you were a perfect pair. But Minthara’s affection, displays of possession rather, had a way of sneaking past your defences, drawing out emotions you didn’t even realize you had.

One evening, you found yourself in Minthara's tent, the flickering candlelight casting shadows on the walls. She was sitting at a small table, polishing her weapons, her eyes occasionally glancing at you.

"You've been quiet," she remarked, her voice carrying a hint of curiosity.

You nodded, not quite sure how to respond. "I often am."

"True," Minthara set down her weapon and walked over to you, her eyes searching yours. "You don't often show what you feel. But lately… I've noticed a change."

You tilted your head, intrigued. "What do you mean?"

"You've been smiling more," she said simply, her hand reaching out to brush a strand of hair from your face. "And it's not just a polite smile. It's genuine."

You blinked, taken aback by her observation. "I hadn't realized."

Minthara's lips curved into a rare, soft smile. "It's because of us, isn't it? Because of what we have together."

You felt a warmth spread through you, and for once, you didn't hold back. "Yes, it is. You make me feel…different. In a good way."

Minthara's eyes softened, and she leaned in, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss. "I like seeing this side of you. Don't hide it from me."

As time went on, you found yourself opening up more around Minthara. Her fierce loyalty and surprising tenderness made you feel safe, allowing you to express emotions you had long kept buried. You smiled more, laughed at her dry humor, and even initiated moments of intimacy, moments that made Minthara just want to drag you to the nearest hidden spot and take you right there and then - even if it was just a kiss on the cheek.

One night, as you lay together, Minthara's arms wrapped around you protectively, she whispered, "I love seeing you like this. I love seeing you happy."

"Because of you, my love," You hummed happily, as you were pressed against her chest. "All because of you."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Lae'zel:

Lae'zel watched you with her intense, calculating gaze as you both sat near the campfire. The flames danced between you, casting flickering shadows across your face. Typically, your expression was calm and composed, almost stoic. You were a person of few words and fewer emotions, at least outwardly. But lately, there had been a subtle shift that Lae'zel had noticed—a softening in your demeanor, a slight curve of your lips, and the occasional twinkle in your eyes.

You weren't fully aware of the changes yourself. Your guarded heart had slowly begun to open up, and Lae'zel's presence was a significant reason for it. Her fierce loyalty and unwavering confidence had a way of breaking down the walls you had built around yourself. You found yourself smiling more, engaging in light-hearted conversations, and even laughing—a sound that was rare but genuine.

Tonight was no different. As the two of you discussed the plans for the next day's journey, you felt a warmth in your chest that had nothing to do with the fire. Lae'zel was talking animatedly about battle strategies, her hands moving as she outlined possible maneuvers.

"And if we flank from the north, we can catch them off guard," she said, her eyes blazing with passion.

You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips. "You have a keen mind for strategy, Lae'zel."

She glanced at you, her expression softening for just a moment. "It is necessary for survival," she replied. "But I have noticed something, Y/N. You seem… different lately. More expressive."

Your smile widened slightly, and you felt a rush of affection for the Githyanki warrior. "I suppose I have been," you admitted. "Being with you has made it easier to show what I feel."

Lae'zel's brow furrowed, not in anger but in thought. "This is good. It means you are not holding back. Now you can be more focused on battle strategy."

Her pragmatic response made you laugh—a sound that caught Lae'zel off guard. She looked at you, confused but intrigued. "Why do you laugh? Did I say something amusing?"

You shook your head, still chuckling. "No, Lae'zel. It's just… your priorities are always so straightforward and practical. It makes me happy to see how much you care, even if you show it in your own way."

Without thinking, you leaned in and hugged her. Lae'zel stiffened at first, her body unused to such intimate gestures. But she quickly relaxed, wrapping her arms around you in return. The embrace was firm and warm, and you could feel the strength in her grip.

"I do care," she murmured against your ear. "You are important to me. Your happiness matters, even if I do not always understand it."

You pulled back slightly to look into her eyes, your smile softening. "Thank you, Lae'zel. You make me happy."

She nodded, a rare smile touching her lips. "Then I will continue to do so. But we must not let our emotions distract us from our goals."

You laughed again, this time leaning in to kiss her gently. "Agreed. But a little happiness never hurt anyone."

Lae'zel smirked, her eyes glinting with determination. "As long as it makes us stronger, I have no objections."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Shadowheart:

Shadowheart had always been a mystery, her playful teasing and enigmatic smiles hiding a deeper, more complex soul. You had fallen for her wit and charm, the way she could make you laugh with a single, well-timed remark. Yet, beneath that exterior, there was a woman who had learned to guard her heart closely.

One afternoon, you found yourselves alone by a tranquil river, the rest of the camp busy with their own tasks. Shadowheart had just finished her prayers, her gaze distant as she lost herself in thought. You approached her, a rare smile on your face.

"Shadowheart," you called softly, causing her to turn and look at you with a curious expression.

"Yes?" she replied, her lips curving into a playful smirk. "Have you come to interrupt my meditation with your charming presence?"

You chuckled, shaking your head. "Actually, I wanted to spend some time with you. Just the two of us."

Her smirk softened into a genuine smile, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "Well, I suppose I can make time for you," she teased, standing up and walking over to you.

As the two of you sat by the river, you began to talk, sharing stories and memories. Shadowheart's laughter filled the air, a sound that was as enchanting as it was rare. She leaned closer to you, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "You know, you have a way of making even the dullest day interesting."

"And you have a way of making me smile," you replied, your voice warm and affectionate.

Shadowheart raised an eyebrow, a hint of surprise in her eyes. "Oh? I didn't realize I had such an effect on you."

"You do," you admitted, your smile widening. "You make me feel… happy."

For a moment, Shadowheart was silent, her gaze softening as she looked at you. Then, she leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek. "You have no idea how much that means to me," she murmured.

In your presence, Shadowheart had found a sense of peace, a place where she could let her guard down and be herself. She realized that she didn't need to hide behind her teasing and playful exterior, that she could be vulnerable and open with you.

As the sun began to set, the two of you sat together, your hands intertwined. Shadowheart's head rested on your shoulder, a contented smile on her face. In that moment, she felt a warmth and happiness she had rarely known, all because of you. And though she would always be the playful, enigmatic woman you had fallen for, she had learned to open her heart, to let you in and share in the joy of simply being together.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jaheira:

Jaheira always knew there was something special about you. You were a mystery wrapped in calm, an enigma she found herself drawn to despite your stoic exterior. Your lack of outward emotion wasn't due to any deep-seated trauma or dramatic past; it was simply who you were. You preferred silence over chatter, contemplation over excitement. Yet, Jaheira saw the depths beneath your serene facade, and that fascinated her.

In the early days of your relationship, Jaheira often wondered what it would take to break through that calm exterior. She wasn't impatient, but her curiosity was piqued. She could see the faintest glimmers of emotion in your eyes, in the slight curve of your lips when you thought no one was watching. It became her unspoken mission to draw those hidden feelings out, to make you smile, laugh, and open up.

One evening, after a particularly grueling day of adventuring, the two of you sat by the campfire. The night was cool, the stars twinkling above like distant memories. Jaheira sat close to you, her shoulder brushing against yours. She glanced over and saw you staring into the flames, your eyes reflecting the dancing light.

"You seem deep in thought," she said softly, nudging you gently with her elbow.

You turned to her, a faint smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. "Just thinking about the day," you replied, your voice calm and even.

Jaheira studied you for a moment, a playful glint in her eyes. "Thinking, hmm? I suppose you think more than you feel, don't you?"

You raised an eyebrow, a hint of amusement in your gaze. "Maybe," you said, your tone light. "But I feel more than you might think."

Jaheira's smile widened. "Oh really? Care to elaborate, or is that another one of your enigmatic answers?"

You chuckled softly, a sound that seemed to surprise even you. "You have a way of drawing things out of me, Jaheira."

She leaned closer, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Good. Because I enjoy seeing you smile. It makes me feel like I've accomplished something grand."

To her surprise, you laughed—a genuine, warm laugh that filled the night air. Jaheira's eyes widened in mock astonishment, and she placed a hand dramatically over her heart. "Did I just hear you laugh? Surely the world is ending, or perhaps the nine hells are freezing over!"

You laughed even harder, the sound rich and full of life. "You're ridiculous," you said, shaking your head. "But I appreciate it."

Jaheira's expression softened, and she reached out to take your hand in hers. "In all seriousness, it's wonderful to see you open up. I feel privileged to witness it."

You looked at her, your smile lingering. "I didn't even realize I was doing it," you admitted. "But being around you… it makes me want to."

Jaheira's heart swelled with affection. She squeezed your hand gently, her thumb brushing over your knuckles. "That's all I ever wanted. For you to feel comfortable enough to be yourself with me."

The two of you sat in companionable silence for a while, the crackling fire the only sound. Jaheira could feel the subtle shift in your demeanor, the way you seemed more at ease, more open. It was a beautiful thing to witness, and she felt a deep sense of contentment knowing she had a part in it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Hope y'all enjoyed it ! - Seluney xoxo

[cher-rei]

sparks— jamal musiala [ J.M ]

how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist [saturn– sleeping at last]

pairing: jamal musiala x fem!reader

summary: it's the knockout stage for germany for the 2024 euro, and as usual you're there to support your boyfriend, accompanied by some bad weather and a bet to spice up the evening.

genre(s): fluff (as usual)

[w.c: 3.3k] masterlist

notes: I had such a fun time writing this shut upppp shsjssj. this one is for my musiala girlies xx

"this weather is going to be the death of me," you said and took your seat beside your friends sophia and aaliyah who were huddled together in attempt to defeat the crisp yet strong german wind.

you tucked your chin into your scarf, but even then it didn't help. the three of you actually remembered to dress warm for today's match, unlike the last few games where you whole heartedly believed that the rain was just an episode.

before leaving the house sophia had to remind both you and aaliyah to bring scarfs because she had a bad feeling. so here you were, at the stadium in dortmund dressed in a pair of jeans, a cream knitted jumper, and a wool jacket that unfortunately hid your football jersey with your boyfriend's name decorated at the back.

the stadium was bustling and you couldn't believe that supporters still came out to watch football under these conditions, but it was an important match and you were filled with just as much anxiety and anticipation as them.

jamal was all the more excited the evening before when he facetimed you from his hotel room. there was a twinkle in his eyes as he spoke to you about training and how his day had been and it just reminded you of how much you missed him.

sophia and aaliyah agreed with you in that department, understanding just how difficult it was to be separated from their partners this long. but the three of you managed (barely) and showed up to every match together to show your support.

needless to say, the media were having a ball with the amount of content and pictures that were published of the three of you every week. there wasn't any issue with it however and jamal quite liked the fact that he got to show you off, saying that the world deserved to know just how smitten he was with you.

it was about twenty minutes into the first half when you felt a drop of rain hit your hand, having nothing much to do besides groan and deal with it. so far, little progress was made on the pitch despite the three shots on target that germany had.

"good on denmark for putting up a fight, but I'd really appreciate it if they gave up so that we can go home," aaliyah joked and you fought back a smile, while sophia was sat in her seat with a torn expression.

there was a small pout on her lips and by that look you knew that she was worried about kai. her gaze was glued to his figure running on the pitch, mentally cheering him on. "I think the rain is messing with him."

you hummed and lifted your head to look at the darkened sky, your face scrunching at the sight of the heavier clouds blowing over the stadium. the wind had started to pick up now which made the experience even more uncomfortable but you had to endure it.

a smile tugged at your lips as you watched your boyfriend make his tackles. there was just something about watching him play that made you appreciate the sport more, it was enticing. "pure class," you said out loud with a boastful smile.

sophia jokingly scoffed at your comment which caught the attention of aaliyah who felt the need to tease her. "what are you scoffing for?" she asked with a smug smile. "kai missed two goals already."

your lips parted in shock, but you remained silent and proceeded to listen to them go at each other from each side of you.

"yeah, well at least he had the chance. remind me where flo is again?" sophia countered and you let a laugh slip out at the attack on florian who was on the bench.

the teasing didn't stop though, and it got to the point where you had to physically back away because they were both leaning over you to take a jab at the other. the roaring of the fans was soon interrupted by an even louder roar which you recognised to be thunder.

seconds after, the rain got heavier and it was pouring. you heard the whistle blow from the pitch and apparently the match officials were taking an intermission to check if the lightning would be an issue any further.

you felt sophia's hand slip into yours, the chill sending a shiver down your spine. the three of you were nearly drenched and if it was one privilege that you loved then it was the option to sit in the booth at times like these.

it was announced that the match would be suspended until further notice due to the weather ten minutes before half time and your head instinctively turned to look for your boyfriend, to check if he was okay before you got up from your seat.

"and this is our cue to leave," aaliyah said and led you and sophia through the rampaging crowd to the top of the stands where you'd be covered.

the supporters however were doing the exact opposite and rejoicing in the downpour— dancing and waving their flags in the air while some used it as a form of shelter. the sight was anything but ordinary and you couldn't help but bask in the atmosphere.

another boom of thunder sounded through the air causing sophia to jump up beside you, her grip tightening on your hand. the three of you looked up at the sky, awing in unison at the strikes of lightning flashing between the clouds.

there was only one thing on your mind, and it was the need to take a picture. you took out your phone and waited for the perfect moment, practicically spamming the button until it hit the perfect shot.

aaliyah awed at the picture from behind you. "you have to send that to me, that looks unreal."

after a few more minutes and pictures being taken you finally made it upstairs to dry off. both teams were in their dressing rooms as well, probably more scared than ever because of the match interruption. uncertainty hung in the air at times like this, where all they could do was wait.

the door to the family booth that the three of you were sat in just closed when someone opened it again. to no one's surprise entered kai and florian sporting two completely different looks.

sophia's eyes softened at her boyfriend's state, his hair damp and kit looking like it just took a swim. she hesitated for a moment to pull him into a hug for some comfort seeing as he wasn't having the best time on the pitch.

aaliyah on the other hand ruffled her boyfriend's hair and laughed, gaining sophia's attention. "see what being on the bench does? he's as dry as the sahara right now while kai looks like he just drowned."

from beside aaliyah, florian's jaw dropped in offence, at the mention of him being benched which quickly broke out banter between the two while sophia was still comforting kai and giving him some words of encouragement.

watching them interact made your heart swell, making you miss jamal even more. and as if you summoned him, your smiling but breathless boyfriend made his entrance and without time to spare he pulled you into a tight hug.

despite the chill in the air and his body, you were filled with a warmth that you've missed so much the past few weeks. so much that you could almost excuse his audacity to hug you when he was dripping from head to toe.

you pulled away with a smile. "j, did you see the lightning? I can't believe that it's summer right now."

jamal looked at you puzzled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "I came here to say that I missed you to the point of an enotional brekdown and you ask me about the lightning?"

your lips pursed at his counter but before you could defend yourself he pressed a quick but much needed kiss to your cheek. "we'll talk later, I just really needed to see you."

he looked up at his teammates who were leisurely enjoying their time with their partners, a look of disapproval on his face. "am I the only one who cares that we're playing an international knockout stage right now?"

"flo doesn't care, he's on the bench," aaliyah said and shot her boyfriend a teasing smile. "isn't that right babe?"

the german supporters in the stands all screamed in victory at the penalty that was given, and to no one's surprise kai was the one who was ready to take it and potentially put them in the lead.

aaliyah leant forward and looked at both you and sophia with a determined smile. "I think it's time for a bet."

a hum of intrigue left your lips at the idea but sophia shook her head. "he's going to get this in... I hope." she looked at her boyfriend who stood uneasily in front of the penalty area.

but a few words were exchanged between the three of you and an agreement was made.

"there's still 40 minutes left," she began and gestured to the pitch. "they're capable I'm sure, but whoever's boyfriend doesn't score has to pay for lunch tomorrow."

your eyebrows raised when she said "lunch". you knew very well that it wasn't just a meal. it consisted of breakfast, a trip to the museum or any activity really, lunch and supper. the loser would have to pay for the entire day, and it was no joke that you three were expensive.

aaliyah was more than confident in florian being subbed on and scoring, sophia was more uneasy than kai at the moment but had hope in her boyfriend, and you didn't really mind paying but you could never back down from a challenge.

the three of you shook on it and watched as kai got ready to take the penalty, everyone holding their breath in unison. it happened in a blink of an eye but the goal had sophia jumping up from her seat and clapping as loud as she could.

"guess I'm eating for free tomorrow," she teased and sat back down to which you rolled your eyes. aaliyah on the other hand shot you a competitive glare, causing you to laugh.

you eased back into your seat and shoved your hands into your coat pocket. "if jamal scores then I'll stand in the rain without my coat on, and if flo scores--"

"miraculously," sophia interjected which earned her a playful slap on the arm from aaliyah who quickly turned her attention back to you.

"then I'll have to? on the pitch?" she asked with her eyebrows raised and you nodded. she ran her tongue over her teeth and shook your hand, loving that you were upping the stakes and adding some more to the bet.

a good 10 minutes of no action went by and you were watching with immense focus, your gaze not trailing from jamal who looked breathtaking drenched in water, and without even saying anything sophia read your mind.

"they look ten times better with water dripping from them on the pitch, it adds something extra," she said bashfully and took her phone out to take a few pictures of kai since he wasn't too far away.

she then looked to aaliyah with a smug smirk. "obviously you wouldn't understand because flo is dryer than the sahara."

you covered your mouth at the retort about what aaliyah said earlier on. it seemed that the two of them never ended their playful banter, and you were always in the middle without complaining because it was genuinely so entertaining.

while they continued to talk, the universe gifted you with this perfect opportunity because you caught a certain someone's attention. he wasn't doing much on the pitch and you took advantage of the moment and gestured to the goalpost.

of course, jamal was confused but he was more than certain that you were asking him to score. he jogged on but kept his attention on you for a moment, and you gestured to the goalpost again, flashed him a loving smile and made a heart with your hands.

from beside you aaliyah let out a gasp. "that's literally cheating! you can't tell him to score."

you raised your hands in defence seeing as jamal had run off and continued to play. "I'm not doing this for me liya, I don't mind paying. and even if he does then I have to strip in this weather."

aaliyah shook her head at you, disagreeing with you wholeheartedly even though you tried to defend yourself. there wasn't much to say since you were being honest. "I told him to score because it gives him extra motivation."

now both sophia and aaliyah hummed unconvinced, to which you sighed.

"he just does better if I ask him to, okay? and he really wants that third goal, so if I ask him to do it then he'll do anything he can to get it."

it was practically scientifically proven (to you at least). jamal was always the type of person to do anything you asked him to, even before you guys started dating. all it took was a smile and he'd make sure that what you wanted was handed to you on a silver platter.

the devotion that he had towards you was unmatched, especially when it came to scoring or performing well on the pitch. no matter how he played, you always sat in the stands with a proud smile on your face and the appreciation that he was yours.

so even if he could barely see you from the stands, a simple gesture to the goalpost was enough of a tell tale that you wanted a goal. and if you wanted something, then he'd get it for you.

"and it's in from musiala!!!"

the german supporters jolted in their sears at the unexpected goal, rejoicing in the 2-0 lead and celebrating the clear advantage they had in heading to the quarter finals. you were the first one out of your seat the second the ball hit the back of your net, not minding the light drizzle hitting your face as you watched your boyfriend celebrate.

of course, he didn't forget about you and made sure to send a heart your way, one that you were more than happy to return. the adrenaline rushed to your cheeks in the form of a blush and looked at your friends with a smug smile.

they both sat in disbelief, their lips parted as you clapped. "I need that type of devotion in my life," sophia said and nudged your arm.

it wasn't too long that florian was subbed on for jamal, which was hilariously funny considering the context. aaliyah clapped with her lips pouted. "come on let's make it three for three, bench boy!"

both you and sophia burst out into a fit of laughter at her comment, and you swore that you saw flo turn to look at her with an expression that screamed "what the actual fuck??".

it was heading into the last few minutes of the match and despite flo having a few good opportunities, he took none of them. aaliyah grew frustrated from beside you, complaining about the incompetence of the players even though they did nothing wrong.

it was obvious that she was the one with the temper in the group, and that only showed even more when florian had a good run with the ball and she was practically sitting on the edge of her seat, screaming for him to kick it to which he did.

"yes that's what I'm talking about!" she screamed and hit her chest in victory. "three for three girls."

her moment of bliss didn't last long however because the referee blew the whistle for offside. she wasn't happy about that at all either and fought back a mouthful of curses. "what the fuck? how was the offside??"

the whistle blew for full time after a very eventful knockout stage, you and sophia adorning smiles while aaliyah was still complaining about the linesman not raising the flag sooner. the supporters started exiting the stadium slowly as the players went out onto the pitch.

the three of you weren't in any rush however, and made your way down leisurely. "at least you don't have to strip in the rain," sophia laughed and you rolled your eyes.

the rain did in fact start to pick up, and the light drizzle was lightly pouring now instead. you head out onto the pitch with them and started by removing your scarf and handed it to aaliyah who was more than happy to take it.

they watched with smiles as you took off your jacket, followed by your jumper to reveal the thin football jersey underneath. when they were happy with you, they headed off to their respective partners.

"you had one job! now I have to pay for lunch tomorrow!" aaliyah yelled as she approached flo who could've have been more confused. he threw his hands into the air at his girlfriend's outburst.

"thanks for the support I guess," he said and the two walked off to complain to kai and sophia.

for the nth time this evening you raised your head to look at the dark clouds hanging over the stadium, enjoying the feeling of the rain hitting your skin.

the moment of silence was interrupted by the feeling of someone tickling your side, and you turned to see your boyfriend who looked happier than ever.

"well done out there starboy," you said and loosely wrapped your arms around his neck while his hands took refuge on your waist.

he leant in to pepper your face with kisses, and you relished in the warmth you missed more than life itself. "when my girlfriend asks for something, she gets it."

your stomach did at least three flips at his answer and to anyone watching it seemed like this scene was straight out of a movie. seriously, you were standing in the middle of a football pitch in the rain. insane.

jamal pulled away to dry your face despite his sleeve being just as wet. "now can you please tell me why you aren't wearing a jacket right now, baby?"

your shoulders shrugged at his question. "I won the bet."

"huh?" he laughed at the absurdity and tried to make sense of what yoh had just told him, because in no way did it seem that being vulnerable in weather like this could be a reward. "and what did you win?"

you couldn't suppress the smile on your face, losing yourself in his eyes that felt all too close to home. "I won a very happy boyfriend."

the warmth of his hand cupping your cheek wasn't even registered until you felt his lips meet yours. the rain cascaded, each drop of rain that hit your skin being a reminder of just how real this moment was. how real he was.

his hands gently gripped your waist, and he pulled you closer for some extra warmth. the coolness of the rain heightened every sensation in your body— the warmth of his lips and his touch and the pounding of you heart against his chest.

and when the two of you finally pulled away, breathless but more in love than ever you were reminded to be thankful for moments like this. the rain continued to fall, but it no longer felt cold because all that mattered was the warmth of jamal as he looked at you with a softened gaze.

"we should kiss in the rain more often."

[a-boca-do-inferno]

medicine (caesar x human!reader)

summary: The ape colony is short on painkillers for humans, except Caesar learned a lot in his time living with them. Lucky for you.

warnings: period mention, interspecies (mild)smut

words: 1.9k

notes: lol yeah another one... im just enjoying it while i can ok. my vacation ends next month 💀 boa leitura!

gif credit

It couldn’t be later than midnight. You hissed as your cramps only got harsher and harsher. In the cold everything became much worse, and this time was no different. You curled up towards Maurice to try and borrow some warmth from his fur, yet it felt helpless; your body shook like a leaf, and the pain in your womb was ridiculous.

Noticing your distress, Maurice wakes up from his sleep and signs with a worried expression, “I call Caesar?”

You shake your head even before he can say his name. The ape king had more important matters to attend to than your stupid human cramps. On top of it all, it was his resting moment now. You wouldn’t bother him with this. “No. Let him sleep.”

“Herbs?”

“Doesn’t work.” You grunt in frustration, signing with a frown. “I’m fine. By morning it will get better. It’s just the cold.”

“Winter start now.” Maurice argues, still with his gentleness in every word. You only nod in response and he insists, pointing towards Caesar’s tent. “Talk tomorrow. He can help. Lived with humans… before.”

Your eyes fell on the king sleeping a few feet away from you. Could Maurice really have a point? Perhaps Caesar indeed knew some trick to help with period cramps. You did hear he was brought up with human parents, which meant he must’ve had a woman around—you never touched on the subject out of respect, since you two weren’t close. Exchanging a last look with the orangutan, you displayed another short nod. A wave of pain reached your abdomen again and you sighed quietly, burying yourself in ginger fur, despite it being fruitless at that point.

The next day, the colony was awake as soon as the sun was out. It was a rare morning with sunlight and you thanked heavens mentally, appreciating the heat, even if mild, radiating from the star above. The pain had subdued considerably and you took the opportunity to help with supper. Sometimes you helped Maurice in school, but being on your feet proved to make matters worse those days.

You settled around the fire with the girls who tended to cooking. As you were in the middle of grilling fish, a hand touched your shoulder and you turned to face Caesar beating a tight expression. You stood up immediately to greet him, showing your respect for the king. You tried your best to look obedient to his power, as you were well aware of their history with humans, and his reaction was always the same—a dismissive hand gesture, green eyes softening gradually. However, his gaze remained serious now, and you gulped in anticipation.

“Cramps?” Caesar points to your stomach, his gravelly voice a low sound.

Your cheeks heat up and you want to roll your eyes, but refrain from doing so. Maurice and his gigantic mouth. You had hoped he’d forgotten about last night’s talk. Gesturing sheepishly, you stare at the floor. “It’s fine. The sun helps.” You motion upwards to prove your point.

Caesar glances at the pink sky and notices the big star almost fading in the horizon, then back at you. Your inability to keep eye contact with him didn’t go unnoticed, either, making him narrow his green orbs. The muscles in his jaw jump, and he grumbles, his face unimpressed, “sun not here at night.”

“I know, but...”

“But?” He challenges, raising a brow. The king crossed his arms over his chest, a gesture that made him even more menacing. You were used to his imposing presence—the tall and muscular build, the scars on his body, the permanent look of seriousness—yet there were few things more intimidating than seeing Caesar like this, with his displeasure directed at you.

You take a deep breath, trying your best to sound convincing even though you felt like a child being reprimanded. “But I have Maurice to…”

“Maurice... ratted you out. Like humans… say.” Caesar cuts you off with a hint of amusement, in contrast with his dry voice. Carefully, he takes your shirt in his large hands, lifting the fabric to expose your belly without so much as a request for permission; not that he needed it, anyway. His calloused fingers made goose bumps on your skin while navigating your soft form. He lets go of you and signs sharply. “Need medicine. Can’t stay like this.”

You furrow your brows. “They don’t work, Caesar, but it’s okay. It’s just a couple of days. It’ll go away.”

He stops for a moment, contemplating your protests. His gaze flicks to your eyes, acute and intense, making you shrink under his scrutiny. “Not okay. Pain… too much.” Surely the ape would never let you be writhing in pain every night, no matter if it was but a week. With a final huff, Caesar then orders, “you stay with me tonight.”

“But I...” At the look he shoots you, you know there’s no more arguing. The king has spoken. With a defeated sigh, you nod and watch him step away on his hind legs, towering over the others. You mutter under your breath, “God, I miss democracy.” 

As the day went on, you did your best to ignore the annoying throb in your abdomen, knowing you'd be glared at by Caesar if he caught you grimacing again. A low hum of crickets began to fill the night air as the apes settled down around the fire. The hour grew late and the campsite gradually became quiet, the crackling bonfire the only source of light and life. 

You were eating fish alongside Maurice and Rocket, laughing at something the ginger spoke about the kids in school today. On the other side of the circle, green eyes kept vigilant over you with no subtlety at all. You couldn’t help but feel your cheeks burning at the attention. Caesar finished his meal, glancing towards you through the darkness as you remained by the fire after everyone was gone. He slowly made his way over, his massive figure casting a shadow as he approached you. 

With some lightheartedness he signs, extending a hand, “time to rest.” Your eyes follow his gestures and you take his palm. He guides you toward his tent in considerable silence before closing the curtain-like branches draped over the entrance, hooting faintly as he points to his nest. “Lie down.”

You obey him, your breathing slowly increasing its pace. You clasp your hands over your stomach anxiously, intertwining your fingers. “What are you gonna do?”

Caesar scans over you for a moment, noting the tension in your demeanour. “Massage.” He grunts, moving to sit next to you, his muscles rippling with his every movement. The ape pries apart your hands, replacing them with his own much larger ones, his palms settling on your abdomen similar to how he did earlier. He eyes your reactions closely. “May… I?”

You didn’t respond with words, silently granting Caesar permission to go on with his idea. Hooting again, a sound that almost felt like he was trying to soothe your nerves, his rough skin made contact with your tender one, brushing and squeezing it in fairly skilful ways. In spite of the awkwardness of the situation, you found yourself relaxing under his ministrations, your eyelids fluttering shut from time to time. The ape didn’t say much as he worked, green orbs fixated on your expressions while continuing to move his hands in small circles over your womb area. His face was nearly unreadable, the usual stoic frown now replaced by a look of concentration.   

The ape kept going, a low grumble escaping him every now and then as he tried to maintain the pressure at a certain point to make the pain dissipate. You had no idea when it shifted in nature, yet all of a sudden, his movements seemed a lot more sensual than anything. Your interior was only getting hotter by the minute, accompanied by the clear flush on your face. It’s the hormones. It’s the hormones. It’s the hormones. Your attempts at making yourself believe in those affirmations were unsuccessful, pathetic at best; and it all came down crumbling when the quietest moan left your throat, causing Caesar to freeze and stop with the massage.

You stare at him with widened eyes, embarrassment and fear encapsulated in your features, and you immediately sit up and sign in desperation, your tone just as urgent, “I’m… I’m sorry, Caesar, please. It was just…”

A dark look passed over Caesar’s face as he watched you stumble on yourself with apologies. Without a word, his stare dropped to your body once more, the fingers in your abdomen applying more pressure against the flesh, feeling the heat as you reacted to his touch. He could smell your scent changing and a guttural sound escaped his lips as his green eyes glanced at you unblinking, his hand slowly drifting down your womb and stopping on your pelvis deliberately. 

You inhaled sharply, in surprise and excitement, the realisation hitting you like a brick. The ape curled his digits and resumed the massage, his nostrils flaring as he huffed, clearly aroused. Your faces stood inches apart, his hot, heavy breath against you blowing your hair lightly. You put your arm around his neck and he grunted in appreciation, his expression softening at the way you whimpered in pleasure, begging for more. His fingers rubbed circles on your clit through your clothes in a steady rhythm, causing you to bury your face in his furry neck, gasping.

“I’m gonna…”

Caesar heaved in your ear encouragingly and it was the final straw. You came against his hand, squeezing your thighs in reflex whilst he kept massaging your heat through your orgasm. The ape king continued to look at you eagerly and you tried to get out of his grasp, ashamed of what just transpired. He swallowed thickly, holding onto your forearm to prevent you from scooting away, and pressed your foreheads together.

He hooted, grabbing your palm and taking it to his leg. Your gaze followed his movement and you noticed how excited he was, too. Your mind was hazy from your high just a few seconds ago, then it dawned on you that he felt as aroused as you by what happened. It wasn’t just you and your period hormones. It never even crossed your mind that it was possible for him to desire you this way. You cupped his cheeks as your heads stayed pressed to one another, closing your eyes, his scent intoxicating your system.

Caesar nuzzled your cheek, inhaling the sweet smell of you in as much as he could, making sure to memorise each and every inch of your scent under his touch. He ran his hand to place it on the nape of your neck, guiding your body towards his, until you were sitting on his lap, straddling his massive frame. The action brought your chest flush with his, a low rumble escaping him when your curves brushed his bare skin. He found the crook of your shoulder, his tongue trailing a path over the sensitive area, making you shiver. The king huffed again, his free hand sliding up your leg to grip a handful of your flesh, pulling you closer—his grip kept you in place, letting him claim you in any way he wanted.

“Cold?” He hums, still nuzzling you.

The sensation causes you to blush deeper, caressing his chin. “Not anymore.”

“Cramp?” Caesar rasps inquisitively, placing a warm palm on your belly again.

You snort and shake your head. “No. Your medicine worked... Thanks.”

You can swear there’s a smirk on his lips as he nods once, holding your hips protectively. “Good.” He presses you closer to him and huffs, and you understand it right away. Your doctor’s appointment wasn’t over yet, it seemed.

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Summer Drabble Request: RDJ x fem!Reader, established relationship (they’ve been married for years), prompt 18. “I love you more than anything.” from Fluff List 1 please!

My Home

PAIRING || Husband!Robert Downey Jr. x Wife!Fem!Reader

WORDCOUNT || ~ 450 words

SUMMARY || You and Robert have been married for a long time, but each day you spend together is nothing short of amazing. Neither of you can get enough of each other, and he also cannot stop professing his love for you with every chance he gets.

RATING || General (G)

TAGS || RPF. Established relationship. Use of nicknames. Tooth-rottingly sweet fluff.

A/N || This drabble is part of Nicoline's Summer of Drabbles. It has been too long since I wrote about Robert, and this drabble has definitely awakened something in me! I can't wait to get back in the flow of writing for him again, but for now, I hope you will all enjoy this pure bomb of fluff! This is proofread by the amazing @ccbsrmsf1, for which I will forever be grateful 🤍

Photo: Source || All other graphics are made by @nicoline1998enilocin

Main Masterlist || Robert Downey Jr. || Summer of Drabbles

It's never been a secret that the love between you and your husband, Robert, knows no bounds. Each day, you two fall in love just a little bit more. You two always try to do something for the other at least once a day, ranging from something small, like preparing their morning cup of coffee or tea, to something big, like preparing a picnic, which Robert has done for you today.

"Is my beautiful wife ready to go?" he asks when you put on your last accessories to complete your outfit. His arms circle your waist as he pulls you against his chest. Robert whiffs your hair, the subtle scent of your green apple-scented shampoo lingering as he enjoys the closeness between you two.

"Almost, My Angel. I need to put on my wedding ring, and then I'm all yours for the rest of the day," you tell him, and he smiles at the nickname. He places a few kisses on your bare shoulder, and you melt into his touch as his thumbs rub softly over your belly.

Robert's words of admiration for you never fail to make your heart flutter. His appreciation for the dress you're wearing, the way it makes you feel like a princess, reflects the mutual respect and love you share. His words warmly fill you, and your smile grows wider with each passing moment.

"Thank you, and I love wearing it because it makes me feel like a princess," you confess after he compliments you dress as you turn in your husband's arms, wanting to face him as you drape your arms around his neck. He immediately lowers his face to press his soft lips against yours, and they work in complete harmony as you two get lost in each other for a moment.

As Robert holds you close, the world around you fades away. His touch, his scent, the way your bodies move in perfect harmony-it's a moment of pure intimacy. In this moment, you and Robert have everything you need in each other and your love.

Eventually, the need for air becomes more significant than the need for each other, and when you part, you're left a little breathless by your husband. Even after all these years of marriage, he manages to take your breath away and make you feel like the center of the universe, just like he did at the start of your relationship.

He places his forehead against yours as you two stand there for a moment longer, and the words he whispers next have you smiling so broadly that your features light up in a way he's rarely seen before.

"I love you so much, and I still can't believe how lucky I am to call you my wife. Whenever I'm with you, I feel like I'm home because you are my home. I love you more than anything or anyone I've ever loved, Gorgeous."

[dkettchen]

I have officially finished my adventure time (partially-re-)watch, so now I shall finally commence catching up on the like 80+ eps of one piece I'm behind as my new (old) idle show 👌

[spinjitsuburst]

ramble about ur favs i wanna hear abt ur thoughts -zaptrap

HAN’S INFODUMPING ABOUT JAY... START!!!!

so like sgdkdhdkdhd I say Jay and Lloyd are my “favorites” but honestly it’s so hard to pick favorites out of this skittles squad like I love EVERY character for a variety of different reasons. I was going to also infodump about Lloyd but then I started talking about Prime Empire and then this post got. Long. So. it's just Jay I may infodump about Lloyd another day especially since I'm very Conduit Brained Rn but yea yea!

this is long so i'm putting most of it under the cut so y'all don't kill me for making a huge long post

I considered putting Zane and Sora on here as well since I’d also consider them my “favs” but like this is already gonna be. A lot of. Infodumping (also i typed THIS part before I even started and decided not to yell about Lloyd because this already got long enough). Maybe I’ll make a separate post for those two hmm hmm much to consider but for now MY (technically) FAVORITE NINJAGO CHARACTER: JAY WALKER

THE SPARKPLUG WHO INVADED MY BRAIN LIKE A PARASITE

so hey his name is a pun this makes me laugh ridiculously hard every time I remember he is named. After a misdemeanor HSKSHDKFH

Jay is such an interesting case of a character for me because I started out the show not liking him. Which is. Stares at my entire account I think my feelings have changed somewhat

Jay starts out as an asshole I don’t think anyone can disagree with me there (although honestly they’re all assholes in early ninjago they bullied a ten year old and left him dangling several feet off the ground) but over the course of the show you can see him start developing into a much more interesting character. He goes from being so insecure he's faking everything about himself to someone who knows who he is and is so genuine about it

now yea we could argue about whether his character was too uwu-ified post-season 10 but this is the FUN HAN POST SO WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT the point is you can SEE the growth that Jay has gone through and I am going to show you that growth through what I call

✨ The Skybound to Prime Empire Effect ✨

I AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THE IDEA THAT PRIME EMPIRE WAS WRITTEN TO BE A DIRECT PARALLEL OF SKYBOUND AND WAS CENTERED ON SHOWING HOW THE NINJA ESPECIALLY JAY HAVE GROWN THROUGHOUT THE SEASON

when season 12 rolls around we are at the point in Jay's development where he is CONFIDENT in who he is. He's a fun-loving jokester with the power of lightning and the drive to help people whenever he can. He uses jokes and humor to help alleviate tension and get people through whatever's happening. And when on his own what does he do?

BECOME AN ENTERTAINER BABEY

i like to think jay's club in prime empire was a safe haven for anyone stuck in the game who figured out hey. we Can't Leave and felt freaked about it. Also Jay would generally try and spread the word that hey something ISN'T RIGHT HERE which would lead people to want to stay with him

(totally plugging my friend's fic but this kind of thing is explored in would you like to enter prime empire by @finn-m-corvex y'all should check it out cool cool)

also the prime empire shorts which i watched all of in the midst of typing this video cuz i love them go watch them please please please jay was publically fighting the red visors which I imagine may have raised some red flags for some players

THIS SOMEHOW TURNED INTO PRIME EMPIRE INFODUMPING LMAO ANYWAYS Jay's confident! He becomes an entertainer because it's who he knows he is! And it's something that will get people hyped and having fun, which is very in-character for Jay to do! He uses those kinds of things to mask the Bad Things going on and get people remembering what's good

I've talked about this sort of thing before but that's Jay's whole philosophy as early as season 9! Which is a DIRECT contrast to how he views it in season 6, as Nadakhan puts it scarily accurately

"You make jokes to mask the fact that you're afraid"

(i was gonna grab a screenshot for that like i did with the hunted scene but netflix has bloCKED THE ABILITY TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS THE WAY I USED TO and i don't have them already and i'm too lazy to grab them from elsewhere so alas trust me he says it)

making jokes to hide your fear and using humor to remind yourself of what's good and coping with the bad are two VERY different outlooks on it

so I think this outlook is what drives him to make this glamrock persona in the first place - this is a bad situation, one he's in with other civilians, and what better way to keep him and themself safe until the others get there than throwing a big performance at a safe place!

also it's just so gender okay I want to look like Superstar Rockin' Jay so badly

it's also interesting to see his outlook on his parents change over time! In season six he finds out Ed and Edna aren't his birth parents and feels upset about it, not understanding why his birth parents would've abandoned him. In season twelve, that outlook changing is EXACTLY why Jay's able to get through to Unagami

"I was abandoned by my parents, too!... I never understood why, and I never had the chance to even ask. But I always hoped there was a good reason. What if there's a reason?"

(again curse you netflix i wanted SCREENSHOTS whatever whatever)

It's this scene that gets Unagami to calm down long enough for Milton Dyer to get there, and presumably is what stops him from just. Flattening him and Jay like a pancake.

to piggyback off of this i absolutely adore how Unagami and Jay consider each other adopted brothers in that one book I still haven't read and I hope he's in Dragons Rising at some point Unagami is my favorite "villain" (no longer a villain) in the whole show he deserves more screentime

like this is where i found out about this and it's plagued my mind ever since. i need to read. this book just for them

SO YEA OKAY Prime Empire is "Who is Jay as a Person Post-Skybound" to me also it opens up so many fascinating things about Jay. I rest my case

so backpedaling a little bit. JAY CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HIS PARENTS GUYS IT'S SO SOFT AND I'M sobs

like yea the first episode with Ed and Edna in it has Jay avoiding them like the plague but this gets explained very easily when you remember he was bullied for his home life before he became a ninja. It makes a lot more sense why he wouldn't want them around his new friends, assuming they'd react the same way. Also how was he supposed to know literally all the rest of the groups parents were either dead, presumed dead, or had a toxic relationship with their kid lmao

(Cole calling his mom kills me. Cole's mom is dead. I know they probably just didn't think that far ahead when writing the dialogue but it's so funny mans pretended to call his dead mom to get on Jay for not appreciating his parents iconic behavior)

anyways literally every episode Ed and Edna are central to (except like the one in skybound) Jay stops at nothing to protect his parents and it means the absolute world to me he's so much like them!! They raised an inventive little nerd and he will stop at nothing to make sure they're safe and it's. It's SO IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY

ALSO this is an excuse to clip my favorite piece of dialogue possibly in the entire show. Except Netflix won't let me now. So you just get the text dialogue

Jay's just fallen from the sky with a messed up eye and is incredibly distraught that all his friends are captured. And his dad just. The woRLD IS FALLING APART AND HE'S EATIN' SOUP-

Ed i love you

anyways

anways anyways this just turned into me rambling about prime empire and then Ed and Edna and a lot of disjointed other stuff but thank you for this opportunity i was going to also ramble about lloyd but i put this post in a word count and

yea i think that's enough for a tumblr post anyways! If anyone wants any like. More logically thought out and direct thoughts about characters feel free to send me asks this was fun thank u @zaptrap for this opportunity to scream about jay

[fumifooms]

You’re the resident chilchuck expert, so I was wondering about it there’s any canon evidence that he did smoke or drink alcohol when the kids were younger. I always thought it was something he picked up due to the strain of long jobs, when the kids were already older, but you seem to think differently and I was wondering if there was anything in canon that made you think that way!

Now that you mention it I guess it’s true there’s no evidence he did. Smoking we literally only know he does at all because of one post-canon panel where he has a pipe, so no, maybe this stick-looking thing in the panel below too though, I’m not familiar with medieval blunts eh. We’ve only gotten one panel of him and his daughters interacting when he was younger so that’s not too insightful on that end, and every time we see him young and freckled it’s in a job context so again not really where we’d expect him to be drinking. The earliest proof (/heavy implication since we don’t see inside his cup I guess) is 3 years before canon when Laios hired him, where he’s at a bar, classily placed in front of all the bottles ✨

Yes alcohol is almost certainly a way through which he copes especially with stress, so if we go with the theory he started around when work got stressful, well… Chilchuck started working as a dungeon diver ~10 years ago so when he was ~19, making Mei, Fler and Puck ~6 and ~4 respectively, so from that draw the ‘stressful enough to start drinking’ line wherever. We don’t know what he did before that with any certainty, and it could be he did odd jobs, lived off mostly mutual aid and community work, or just focused on only raising the girls. Half-foots tend to be poor and I see a lot of that in Chilchuck specifically so I don’t think he could have afforded to not have some paying work though.

Alright, so then why do I think he did drink when the girls were younger?

I give a more complete rundown of the info we do have on his alcoholism & his family with panels and references + all the speculation I make from it here. But the most targeted and objective answer I can give is:

Of course there’s just very very little we know of Chilchuck’s life with his family, and I think that’s by design too. I think the details being up in the air is to allow more nuance of the topic, like, will trying to reconcile go well, is their relationship salvageable? We don’t know, because we don’t know. So the message of giving hope a chance even if it’s a long shot, that things could truly go either way, is more relevant, impactful and meta in that way. How long was he usually away for work travels into dungeons here and there? How did he act with them? All we can really do is "it’s likely that", it’s a game of which way we think it’s more implied. There’s no right and wrong answer, it’s all Marcille-like larping the events out.

My main reason for thinking he did is that his father died from overdrinking and Chilchuck is very aware of that. He mentions his death casually in the extra about their stance in alcohol and in his Adventurer’s Bible profile, etc. He acts towards the alcohol presumably the same way his father did: with abandon, uncaring for the health effects, probably happily too considering Chil says "dying doing something you love is a good way to go". Very nonchalant. So you see what I’m saying here right, wether he started early or late, his view of alcoholism is very influenced by what he saw of his father growing up, it’s something he’s always been aware of and saw in a mostly positive light, something that was inherited you could say. It’s something that was normalized to him from a young age. Regardless or where it goes from there I do think this part is pretty inarguable. If he views it positively and we know that in the present alcohol is his favorite food that he loveees, why would he have held out on it? Personally that all makes me think he started drinking very young, especially since I don’t think they limited alcohol to age as much as modern standards (and I mean, teen drinking is obviously still a thing). And here you could argue, maybe his father only started being more alcoholic later when Chilchuck moved out, or something! And to that there’s nothing I can say except I think that’s a strained theory, and that Chil might even have largely cut contact with his family after moving out (since he and siblings are listed as almost strangers and he doesn’t seem to have much emotional attachment to his parents, but also we know he rents out his place to "a relative"), but it’s true we have no evidence. "I’ve picked up the same unhealthy substance abuse as my father haha! No big deal right haha" repeated several times to me just reeks of intergenerational trauma, & the alcoholism gene as they call it. Like effortless sliding into drinking as if it’s second nature, it’s natural after all, it’s normal after all, it just makes sense, it makes you feel good and that’s what matters.

BUT from my interpretation then we have a whole other layer: Alcohol is of course not all bad always. I think he’s always liked alcohol and drank it on occasion and it brought him joy etc etc, but I think here the implication in the question is, how much effect did his drinking have on the family relations and how early? And that isn’t so much about when him drinking started but when the alcoholism started. Addiction is defined by a habitual need, that has negative effects from filling that need (physical, psychological, social, etc) and negative effects from withdrawal. If Chilchuck drinks to cope and he can’t not cope without it, that’s addiction, if it affects his relationships, if it’s a need he has, it’s addiction. Addiction can be very insidious or look very casual, and how much people around the person are affected by it is case by case. Cheerful drunks can be sooo annoying and uncomfortable though let me tell you. Drunks are drunks. And this sounds harsh, but even if people around them don’t mind drunks it’ll still have some effects here and there, living with one can be such a challenge, ily drunks good luck with everything much like Chilchuck you deserve good things 🫡　

Ok so with the dad thing and the "ok well maybe he’s always drunk casually but it grew worse with time around when he started working as a dungeon diver" precision made, the other bit of info we have that can inform this is that Chilchuck is on a harsh diet and that alcohol is a hunger suppressant. We know Chilchuck "used to be fine not eating for two days", that literally on screen to quench his hunger so it doesn’t keep him awake he goes to drink water, drinking is his instinct to hunger. Again alcohol is a hunger suppressant and if you want info on that the internet has a lot of research and anecdotes about it. He diets to be light enough to not trigger traps, so it’s something he’d have started after dungeon diving most likely. Between the stress and the diet, yes it’s extremely likely he started going harder on alcohol after he started working in dungeons. There’s arguments on wether two days without eating is less bad for half-foots than humans, but apart from smaller portions there’s nothing that indicates half-foots should get less than 3 meals a day. They need less food but that’s because their bodies are smaller: the need is proportional to the body, not smaller than others’ races, the % of need is similar even if the kg amount of food isn’t. There’s also a popular headcanon with support basis that half-foots run hot and have a faster heartrate and whatnot, and that points towards a faster metabolism rather than a slower one: a bigger need for eating rather than a smaller one. He has the same bmi, 18, as Mickbell, but perhaps because Chil is much taller he’s less intensely visibly underweight with ribs showing than Mick during the bath extra, it’s most apparent when he becomes tallman.

Alcohol is something so important and omnipresent in his character that I have trouble believing it’s something that was part of only a small fraction of his life. It’s his immediate go-to, his no-brainer solution to a good time, I’ve sort of always assumed especially after looking at his family that it’s something he discovered decently young. Like he just acts like someone who’s always had alcohol to fall back on and started young idk. Alcohol is one of his 5 keywords. Alcoholism is very ingrained into his world view and life, his "it doesn’t matter" stance his ‘work hard play hard’ mentality his idea that the world is harsh so you get relief where you can, so it just makes sense to me that it’s always been in his life, if not actively then at least looming.

So yes, in summary, my take: Alcohol was always something he wholly enjoyed to an unwise level, but it could have been considered casual until he started working into dungeons and his need for it on a regular basis intensified. Alcohol has always had positive association to him as far as we see, so when it started being a problem he didn’t see it as such. To quote him, "I drink anytime I get the opportunity to". Why always? Approval of father’s alcoholism. Why alcoholism at all? Diet + stress & coping mechanism & emotional stunting + relationship issues, and she decided she had enough after they went out for drinks.

Conclusion

Chilchuck having drunk from a young age makes sense to me and it’s the strongest narrative angle I see on the table, but that’s objectively a me opinion, yes! There’s no evidence, moreso there’s canon basis and supporting info, but it’s all very left up to interpretation. I’ve made my own interpretations of things from the scraps we see, like everyone else making Chilwife and daughters content. Wether you have a stance on the topic or prefer to leave it vague in your takes, it’ll be a matter of what you think makes most sense, or what you’d rather believe I suppose (which is literally fine)

There’s a lot of subjectivity in even just setting up causal links like you probably noticed during this and I was careful with my word choices, because we’re just extrapolating from what we see and unless Kui states it explicitly from a reliable mouth all we can do is have informed opinions on most things. This particular interpretation is influenced by other details I’ve come to form about my interpretation of Chilchuck too, the more psychological and emotional sides of him and the timeline and how his marriage even happened, unplanned pregnancy imo. Like I hope you see what I mean, this wasn’t supposed to be a speculation post just a quick simple answer but there’s sort of just no other and concise but complete way with the subjectivity nuance to put "maybe it could be yes because of this but maybe it could be no because of this" haha

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

Feel free to ignore if this is unwelcome, but have you ever thought about publishing traditionally to sublimate your income and draw in new readers? I know you've self published two books already and that you didn't feel like they did very well, but maybe the experience would be different if someone else was in charge of marketing and all the other business stuff?

Obviously everyone's experience is different but as an author myself who's published both trad and self, traditional publishing has been a completely different experience and has allowed me to focus more on writing because I'm not the one responsible for advertising/marketing/financing anymore.

There are a ton of literary agents nowadays that want to represent diverse and lgbtqia+ fiction, some of them even in Australia.

Websites like Reedsy, AgentQuery and Jerichowriters have extensive directories to find literary agents.

(This is lengthy folks so I'm putting the other two parts (and my response) under a read more! Also putting it under a read more so the anon can skip my response since it's very 'here's all the reasons I can't do this' and they just might not want to read that, lmao)

(continued -> )

Trad publishing houses have better resources for marketing and helping authors get more attention than any self publishing website could.

Obviously most authors, unless they're really prolific, don't get a huge advance (the average is between $1000 - $5000) but getting your foot in the door or on the traditional publishing "ladder' so to speak can have a huge benefit for your serials. Because it gives you more exposure. Plus it's in the agent's best interest to find a publishing house that accepts stories that contain darker themes and negotiate the best deal for you.

For some reason places like Amazon and the like accept and keep up more "dark" books that are traditionally published than they do with self pub ones. Maybe because they have more respect or leniency for publishing houses? I have no idea. But you could use this to your advantage. I think I remember you mentioning that writing novels felt quite isolating to you? But you already have 2 completed novels (3 if you count the fae one) that you could potentially revisit or rewrite to your liking and get them represented by agents.

You already have a loyal readership and that's very attractive to trad pub houses and agents.

As well as trad publishing, you could also make s simple website that doesn't require much maintenance. It could be just a landing page that says something about you and then has links to your tumblr and patreon where you're more active. That way you increase the chances of getting your serials found by additional readers and also come across looking more "professional". Not that you're not professional now. You are and I admire you greatly, but the unfortunate reality is a lot of people still judge by appearances and some will be more drawn to an author's website than a tumblr page, at least at first. So I think having a simple landing page would open up another door for you to benefit from.

Trad publishing is work but definitely not as much as self publishing, and you can continue on with your serials. Getting an agent can be time consuming but I personally believe the pros outweigh the cons and I also believe that your stories would be a huge treasure to the growing lgbtqia+ market. Seriously there needs to be more!

These are just suggestions and thoughts and like I said before, feel free to ignore. But I know you've mentioned wanting to grow your career in the past and I genuinely believe you can do so with some of these pathways.

~

Okay, my response. Posting this because firstly I think the suggestions could work very well for other authors reading this! And I hope they take the advice to note, and secondly because I haven't talked about this for a hot minute so let's talk about it again.

So the TL;DR is yes I have considered traditional publishing. I have actually been traditionally published in short stories, poetry, and also had my art published on covers and re: interior illustrations. But my Fae Tales works got soundly rejected when I sent them to publishing houses that were doing open calls for that sort of material. I've never heard back from an agent and I never expect to, heh.

~

Now for a bit more detail

I have been traditionally published before (it's how I got my writing out there long before I ever wrote serials), and yes, I have approached publishers with my writing since then. In fact Tradewinds was written for the traditional publishing market, and it got soundly rejected, and then shelved. The reasons it was rejected ran the gamut from 'I don't like that these fae eat humans no one is going to relate to these people' (while the editor then went on to publish vampire books idk) to 'There's too much worldbuilding you can't expect readers to keep up with this' to 'Your stories are too long, no one wants to read characters talking all the time.'

Meanwhile in my online serials I was getting feedback like 'my favourite chapters are the ones where the characters just sit in a room and talk' lol.

The traditional publishing world is also not quite as utopian for most authors as you make it seem. I'm friends with a lot of authors who are traditionally published because that's the world I came from, and unless they're solely in KU and doing generic rapid release formula romances, none of them are making that much money. Certainly not enough to live off. It may have been that you were very fortunate, anon, but I know hundreds more traditionally published authors that left trad pub to make money, and I know about 5 in trad pub personally who are making enough to live off of.

Only one of those is really writing what she truly loves to write, and even then, publishing houses have refused to commit to her entire fantasy series (and she's regularly in 'Top 10/20 Women Fantasy Authors in the World' lists) and forced her to finish the series prematurely. Something I never ever have to worry about in self pub.

The reality is that in trad pub these days, you're still in charge of most of your marketing unless you're one of the big earners for the publishing house. In fact I'd be expected to keep even more of a social media and marketing presence than I do now. I don't do almost any of the things you're supposed to do as an author in marketing to be appealing. I don't have a Facebook author account. I don't have an Instagram author account. I don't maintain or regularly send out newsletters (which automatically puts me in the like 0.05% of authors who make money doing this lmao).

I don't know if you ever have looked that closely into what m/m publishing houses expect from most of their authors, but the newsletter swaps, cover releases, review circuits, interview circuits and more are fucking grueling. We're expected to be responsible for our advertising and our marketing to a fairly massive degree. Some traditionally published in m/m still have to pay for their release blitzes out of pocket. These publishing houses, by and large, do not offer advances. You say most authors don't get large advances. I don't think most authors in this arena get offered advances at all unless they're somehow miraculously acquired by a Big 4.

We're expected to have an already established social media presence because of that (that's why it's so appealing to publishers that we have social media presences already, anon, so we can market, they can save money, and we still see only a minimal cut from the royalties).

And you still have to focus on your finances, because publishing houses like Dreamspinner straight up didn't pay a whole bunch of authors for so long they destroyed careers. They still haven't paid some of their authors. And they're still running a business and people still buy their books.

Trad publishing houses have better resources for marketing and helping authors get more attention than any self publishing website could.

This is true if a) they're a big publishing house and not an indie publisher of which most LGBTQIA+ publishing houses are and b) they're willing to use them on you.

The authors that make the most money get the most resources. If they believe you're going to earn back your advance and move thousands or tens of thousands of units per book, then yes, you will get those resources.

I have been told so many times now - even from friends who run publishing houses, including one who works at HarperCollins - that my work will never be mainstream enough to have broad appeal. They literally told me not to keep trying re: trad pub, because that was my dream for a long time. These folks have given me rock solid advice in the past, it's one of the reasons I'm doing so well now via Patreon + Ream. But they were like (paraphrasing) 'you don't write 60-80k romances and you don't want to and that's not your strength anyway, you're multi-genre which makes you hard to market, you write psychological and literary trauma recovery which is hard to market, you write character studies which are hard to market, publishing houses often don't commit to series anymore if the first two don't move units and if they pulled the plug you'd be contractually obliged to never finish that series until your contract was up.' I could go on, but it was like yeah...actually. Fair.

For some reason places like Amazon and the like accept and keep up more "dark" books that are traditionally published than they do with self pub ones. Maybe because they have more respect or leniency for publishing houses?

They do, but most publishing houses want very formulaic dark romance which is not what I write.

I have a 300k omegaverse slowburn that still hasn't had any penetrative sex in it, anon. Publishing houses don't want that. They don't expect anyone will wait 4 full length novels to get to literally a single penetrative sex scene.

But you already have 2 completed novels (3 if you count the fae one) that you could potentially revisit or rewrite to your liking and get them represented by agents.

If I rewrote them to my liking, trad pub wouldn't want them. They'd be too long! I think agents etc. take one look at me and go 'oh god, no thank you!' I'm not an easy sell, by any means.

Plus I'm very e.e about all of that with the knowledge that they then give me only about 10-15% of the royalties on the sales, vs. self-pub where I get around 70%, or subscription where I around 80% of it. When someone subscribes to me, they don't have to worry about 85-90% of their subscription fee going to a publishing house. I don't have to think about how many thousands and thousands of books I'd have to sell to make the same amount that I do now via subscription.

As well as trad publishing, you could also make s simple website that doesn't require much maintenance.

If it was that simple, I'd be doing it. I don't mean this in a facetious way, I mean it in a: I've made a lot of websites, in fact I run one at the moment not connected to my writing (I've been running it for so long it's now in its 20s and can probably has a driver's license). I find it so tedious that I barely remember to check in on it. But forgetting about it means there's always maintenance to keep up with when I get back to it.

Running websites is simpler than it used to be, but it's still not simple. There's hosting and hosting costs, there's server changes, there's back-end maintenance etc. I'm considering it for down the track, but there's a reason I decided to go the route of Patreon over my own site. There are authors (like Christopher Hopper) who actually do subscription through their own domain, but it's a lot of work.

Even placeholder sites are still work. They need updating, details change, story titles changing etc. Maintaining my Patreon + Ream About pages is enough, they're always both a little out of date, lol.

Not that you're not professional now.

Oh no, I mean from a 'traditional publisher looking at me to see what kind of candidate I am' I'm really not though. Like I said, I don't have the newsletter (100 subscribers who get one newsletter a year is not really a newsletter), I don't have the Facebook/Tiktok/Insta/Twitter/Bluesky/Threads accounts, etc. I write multi-genre across multiple steam levels, and I'm allergic to writing serials shorter than 150k. One of my best performing original serials was an 800k contemporary story with no sex in it but a lot of BDSM. It can't be marketed as clean or sweet, it's not high steam, an entire chapter is 'boy saves snail from rain.' Also he was cruel to animals, so not exactly what I'd call a sympathetic main.

And yet that story did so well for me via Patreon + Ream, because people want the kinds of stories that publishing houses generally don't want and I happen to be writing them.

Trad publishing is work but definitely not as much as self publishing, and you can continue on with your serials. Getting an agent can be time consuming but I personally believe the pros outweigh the cons and I also believe that your stories would be a huge treasure to the growing lgbtqia+ market. Seriously there needs to be more!

Anon I just literally do not believe an agent would want to represent me. I have 0% belief in that. Not from a self-deprecating angle but from a 'I am not a good bet for the trad market' perspective. From a 'I have so many friends who are trad pubbed authors who stare at me like I'm insane for writing serials as long as I do' perspective. From a 'professionals in the industry have told me it's amazing I'm doing so well in serials because there's no way they'd take a risk on what I'm doing' perspective. From a 'just because it's queer and diverse doesn't mean it hits literally any other thing a trad pub is looking for' perspective. I've been doing this for 10 years. There are agents who represent work similar to mine who know what I'm doing and wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole. They're not missing out on a trick, they know I'm not broad appeal, and they're right.

Also the only way I'd have the energy to manage trad pub is by quitting serials. And honestly, I never found trad pub all that much fun while I was doing it for non-novel stuff. It was fine, and it is nice to have my stuff out there, but it was a ton of admin and a lot of going back and forth between people who really only care about marketing a product, and that's great and what they excel at! But I'm too disabled to turn this job into something crushing just to potentially make more money, I'd rather just quit and go back onto a full Disability Pension. I can't see any way I still get to write the stories I want to write, in the way that I write them, and be remotely appealing to a single reputable trad pub or agent.

Also *gestures to everything in this article*

[perhaps-mr-collins-has-a-cousin]

Hello praying people, I'm not doing well and would really appreciate your prayers right now <3

[sskk-manifesto]

♡

[yeonban]

from ash . me &. the bestie ! ✌️ :P ( < - - - guy who irritates the crap out of ash )

* kind of conditional for the spoiling one , bc soaking up tobias’ resources &. funds is hilarious sometimes , but too much &. ash’ll start rejecting it . especially if nothing is asked in return . 🙄

* betrayal is also conditional because ash works on a “ don’t betray me / give me a reason to betray you &. i won’t ” basis . so it depends on tobias really . betrayal from ash’s side would be unlikely almost impossible if tobias was able to achieve ash’s loyalty in the first place , but that’s a matter of if , so ! depends !

Are you Tobias' type?

❛ Hm? ❜ While the amount of checked boxes and the feat of achieving (multiple) bingos fall short of a surprise given the person who's completed them - for had they truly been that different from one another, Tobias would never have taken this longstanding of an interest in Ash -, his eyes immediately dart to what appears to be a small, typically unobtrusive note at the bottom of the card. Without it there, perhaps he would have found it more compelling to contemplate the meaning behind having been willingly handed something of this sort, but as things stand, Tobias' gaze falls on the minuscule comment and after a single, reticent blink, the nonchalance in his expression cracks and the corners of his mouth begin to twitch. ❛ Pfft--- ❜ It isn't long until he caves and laughs, and a finger must soon reach to wipe the tears that threaten to form in his eyes.

It takes a prolonged moment for the laughter to subside (through rather monumental efforts on his part) yet even after it fades, the glint of amusement in Tobias' gaze remains steadfast, unwavering. ❛ You should go ahead and check the 'similar sense of humor ' box too. I'd say the difference isn't quite as big as you think it is. ❜ One last soft chuckle, the previous laughter's final bastion, and the mafioso decides to swiftly gloss over Ash's answers. The majority of the important ones are checked, with the sole exception of being trusted, and dare he say another one has also positively caught him off-guard, but instead of letting it show, a mischievous grin steers the conversation towards the harmless, unchecked ones. Travel and adventure. Does Ash dislike them because of past experiences, a distaste for new experiences, or because he's the one he'd have to be stuck with for the entire experience? ❛ Are you sure you don't want to give some of these others a go, though? If you combine everything you've left unchecked, you might just give Dino a heart attack. ❜

[izzy-b-hands]

Was gonna sleep in. Instead woke up randomly at 5 am and have been writing a fix it steddyhands fic since then

I work in like. six hours. I have gotten maybe four hours sleep. Today is a double shift day that'll have me working bit late into the night.

This is fine.

[blaiddraws]

If i were to make a fangame would i be allowed to include the wormy boys(and girl?) Context: thinking about creating a fangame set in the far future[300-9000 years] based on a mental thought experiment i did based on, how life would evolve on an completely irradiated world, and its adaptations and quirks(assuming the first problem of genetic fuckery, and biological fuckery gets solved by more lead dense cell walls)

sounds like an interesting premise! however i think i would have to decline, no hard feelings. It just doesn't seem like the kind of setting the worm squad would have a good time in. yanno? it doesn't fit the spirit (??) of the au, for lack of a better description.

but if you wanna make characters/creatures Based Off Them then i have no problem with it at all!

[curseofpower]

I just want everyone to know you don't have to be afraid to talk to me. Send me an ask. Message. whatever you want.