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sleepyorchidmonster · 7 months

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Leona, genuinely terrified of the potential of King's Roar, especially when used against living beings, versus Trey, who can probably turn a Blot Phantom into a deck of cards, if sufficiently motivated.

I might be overestimating the powers of "Doodle Suit", but it IS a broken UM. Also changing a Blot Phantom might count as overwriting someone's magic.

#twst #trey clover #leona kingscholar #just thinking of a monster attacking Riddle or Cater #only for it to dissolve into rose petals or cards in the last second #and the student in question doesn't even bat an eye. just thanks trey and carries in like bothing happened #i know doodle suit only affects things temporarily #which is probably even more terrifying #imagine turning ibto a bunch of cards then pulling yourself back together. piece by piece #you can also set fire to the cards before the magic wears off

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bacchuschucklefuck · 4 months

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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

#not art #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit #kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it #until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it #until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her #but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs #she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying #probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone #lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear #Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked #but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now #yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc #man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet #and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out #lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help #it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around #but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever #its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous #its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot #yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry #doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it #ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking

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poisonousquinzel · 6 months

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"a dude in Texas legally changed his name to "Literally Anyone Else" and he's attempting to run for President against Biden & Trump" [source]

okay, but putting aside the comedic aspect of this, it is concerning the amount of people who are prompted to vote for candidates just because it's funny. I'm not the biggest fan of how his policy about the boarder sounds [Site], but I do implore anyone who is able to vote in the 2024 US election to please research other candidates.

The media is only going to continue pushing the idea it's inevitably going to be Trump vs Biden 2.0 and we have no other options, that we have to vote for Biden again because of Project 2025. Is that whole thing terrifying?

Yeah, fucking absolutely.

But voting for Biden will not solidify our safety from that. Biden is exactly like the rest of them. He always has been. You can't make the lesser of two evils argument when they're both just plain evil.

You cannot say that Biden is even mildly a better choice than Trump when he is currently directly involved in a genocide. That is not some little fucking thing. That in and of itself disqualifies him as a lesser evil. Biden is just as bad as him and he will not save us because he doesn't fucking care.

Cornel West [Site] is an Independent candidate running for President in the 2024 Election. [Policies]

Claudia De la Cruz and Karina Garcia [Site] are running for President and Vice-President as the candidates of the Party for Socialism and Liberation in the 2024 Election. [Policies]

There are options.

There are people trying to change the corrupt foundation our system is built on, but we have to help amplify them because the mainstream media will not.

#have you looked at what's happening in New York & the subways #There's so many reported shootings and deaths and it just seems to be getting worse.#I just looked up subway shooting ny because I wanted to check before saying something #There's reports from like 3 hours ago about someone getting pushed in front of one of the moving subways & there's so many others #or how about the like thousands of police officers that they've got stationed at subways in ny literally doing fuck all #or how everyone's going through a housing crisis and cant afford rent and cant get medical care because it can cost #$4000 to get a fucking ambulance and that's cheap. That's a ride to the hospital less than 20 minutes away probably.#or the rise in hate crimes and bigotry and all the shit they're now trying to censor with the kosa bill #or how terrifying places like Florida have became for anyone thats not seen as an equel by people who dont view most others as equels.#or how they're pouring billions into wars while we're in the midsts of a homeless crisis #suicide rates are at record levels in the us and it's only going to get worse. theyre pulling telehealth which will take away #life saving medical care for people who dont have the ability to go in person. people's ability to get therapy and meds being taken away #Is going to kill people. or how the Biden administration has fucked up their Covid response so goddamn badly #people are referring to the pandemic in past tense and have lost understanding for others who they'd have understood before #they've lied and they've concealed and its killing millions of people and disabling even more. but they will not take accountability.#long covid is ruining people's lives and they've successfully led the narrative that its not real or not that serious.#they will sit there and they will lie. they will say they've protected women's rights and that its a top priority.#they'll say that healthcare is a top priority but have suggested that they'd veto a healthcare for all bill because of its price tag #but will spend billions and billions and billions on a genocide that the majority is against. the system isn't going to begin collapsing #it already is.#its crumbled and we must demolish the corrupt remains and rebuild a better government that gives a shit about people #ALL people.#they use basic human rights as bargaining chips.#the Democrats and Republicans on a Venn diagram is a circle. wake up.

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itslookingback · 2 months

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small brave actions summer

#just added that i have a disability to my uni details... which means i might get contacted by support.... and then get diagnosed hopefully #i have been putting this off for so long. but literally all it was was a small check box #i don't know why it's been so hard for me!!!! probably just about admitting that i'm disabled. and don't function as well as other people #uagh oh well it's done now. bring forth the emails #the next incredibly brave action i want to do but am terrified of is deed poll #like i said i would wait until the end of my degree so there's less admin around that #but what if i don't want to.... :(#what if i want to change my name legally now :(#probably not the best thing to do right now because everything is kind of stressful and will get even more so

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pankiepoo · 9 months

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have you ever written any analysis of anything ii? would love to see it :-] especially any regarding fan's relationships to other characters

idk if it counts but i did write the personality section for fan on his wiki :D

I dont have any clear written analysis of anything except how fan would react upon meeting bot but I think a lot about many of his relationships and how he works but nothing specific I can think of rn but I would consider myself to know him Very Well to a point I Could probably write an analysis on him but I'm Not the best at it <- guy who is terrified of how it'll be received by the public

(iii neg in the tags oops)

#pankie ask #if anyone is interested in the fan and bot thing i could post it again <- guy about to rant in the tags #i kind of immediately deleted it because i got terrified of how people would perceive it since it goes into iii neg and criticism territory #in summary it's about how he'd have trouble with it and probably freak out and get reminded of egg (which I illustrated like a while ago)#and id be very disapointed if fan blindly accepts bot when they meet since it'd kind of disregard his entire struggle and it feels like tha #would be more in favour of fanservice for the whole family thing they're trying to push which wouldn't make sense for fans character #he only took care of egg because he could project onto it and use it to potray himself and his thoughts he wasn't even that good at it #i dont get how he could be able to take care of bot and plus test tube wasn't even the one who cared for egg as much as he did #so her taking care of bot is more of her just doing it because she has to be a parental figure #which doesnt make sense to me when bot can fully function without test tube since they're an adult who has shown to be more mature than her #and i pray to god bot doesnt stick to fan and test tube and interact with cabby goo floory or mephone more in the finale #I DIDNT MEAN TO RANT HERE BUT BASICALLY fan wouldnt be able to handle bot because bot is the embodiment of change and fan sucks at adapting

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several-ravens · 4 months

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I LIED i'm actually back between episodes 79 and 80 hehe

things are going south and i live for it

#no spoilers beyond episode 79 pls #delirium michael is being mischievous and i like it #something somethin no one is protected in the tunnels and i want to watch jon get hunted down for sport #i do think i remember seeing a metal pipe somewhere in a fanart i probably shouldn't have seen #luckily i don't remember who was at the end of said pipe so it'll be a surpise #maybe it's jon's metal pipe and he'll be smashing someone's head in #that'll make him go higher in my esteem #like i said i like criminals #'come out come out wherever you are'#i can only hear this in annie's voice from league of legends which absolutely destroys the terrifying intent of the sentence #ok so elias is the eye but jon also is the eye and now i'm even more confused #or is elias the big eye and jon the small eye directed by the big eye?#eh answers will come in due time ig #don't tarnish my ignorance prematurely #tma #the magnus archives #tma spoilers

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leafy-m · 1 month

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So I hit my 700th edit for the WHA wiki today, because I am a totally normal person

#For the record I have been there for. 27 days.#That makes an average of 26 edits a day which is even more terrifying because I definitely was not updating every day #Also this is for the Telepedia Wiki not the Fandom one #Anyway you should check it out!#In maybe a week because the website cache is super slow for some reason when you're not logged in #But I'm having fun #The nice thing about working on a wiki where there's actually other people doing stuff #Is that they can do the boring stuff like character bios and etc while I run around doing the fun stuff like pages on animals and plants #Anyway I was working on the Eldroxen page which are the big fluffy ox from the Silver Eve Procession #And it was so funny collecting info on them from the main series and then checking Kitchen real quick and SURPRISE! THEY'RE EATING IT!#I mean I should have expected this after having watched Dungeon Meshi and yet~~~#Also funny was that I copy+pasted the page coding for one the (food) animals as a template for this giant Mole-worm beast page but #forgot to remove the line about it being for food and afterwards had a laugh and then removed it #But now I'm like. They probably WOULD eat that sucker. Giant mole worm/snake/dragon thing? That'd feed a whole town!#Qifrey could have an entire audience watching how he'd prepare and season it #Anyway if you've been wondering where I've been that's it #Also funny story: during the Covid pandemic I stayed employed when my coworkers got let go because they needed me to catalogue an entire #new set of guided reading books; and have these sets have a digital checkout instead of the old-school card catalog we were literally still #using in 2020. Anyway I went all out with the organization of the books and the boxes and even made a reference binder for the books #via subject so teachers/tutors could find specific subjects and reading levels etc #(I'd have done a digital way to search for results but honestly half the teachers couldn't figure out how to sign in to the laptop. So.)#Anyway. Only a handful of teachers actually used these books and two years later the school switched to a new reading program #that came with its own set of books and lessons so this 10k reading set was essentially unneeded (and my dear coworkers never got rehired)#Anyway I learned last week that they're clearing out that room and all of those barely-used books are getting thrown out 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#Isn't that funny #Literally everything is just sandcastles built in the surf #I'm so glad I already accepted this during my pumpkin carving years because otherwise I think I'd be upset #Anyway I'm gonna go play my spooky fishing game

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haljathefangirlcat · 10 months

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*tries to write a post about the last 60th Anniversary special*

*is too overwhelmed with Feelings to string two words together in a coherent manner*

... anyway thank you RTD for reconciling me with the entire concept of found family after fandom at large tried its best to sour it and poison it in so many different ways.

*whipes tears away, still smiling and a bit dazed*

#doctor who #doctor who spoilers #dw spoilers #doctor who 60th anniversary spoilers #dw 60th spoilers #the giggle spoilers #i don't think i've been THIS enthusiastic about any series or any resolution to any arc in any series since... dark probably #and i'm still *obsessed* with dark so #the toymaker was incredible and terrifying and so fun #and i'm so so excited for... fifteen? we should count him as fifteen right? anyway he already seems wonderful #and then... everything and *everyone* else i swear #even while i was asking myself 'WAIT WHAT AM I WATCHING WHAT IS HAPPENING' the entire time #which. more a bonus (and a recurring theme) than anything else tbh #and then that ending. THAT ending. i didn't even know how much i'd been needing something like that lately #i just *incoherent noises*#god i'm going to rewatch all three eps together so much

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teethbomb · 2 months

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mob psycho(logical horror) 100

#Chatterbomb #There are some terrifying concepts in there they should be stretched more #That comic reminded me of junji itos The Long Dream #I’ll have to do a rewatch and write some stuff down #The mental prison stuff? Terrifying 10/10 #Shigeo in fabricated world for six months is terrifying but I feel like being trapped in a static environment that only gets longer even #Though real world time has barely passed and you are all alone and you can’t escape and you can’t change the environment besides clawing at #The walls #day and night don’t pass with the sun and moon but your body is aging anyway #Nothing changes and you are running out of resources.#How long until you accept no one will come and save you? How much are you willing to starve while waiting for someone who left?#What if the world that trapped you won’t let you die? Starving for centuries without a sign of life #Thinking at some point you must have escaped. Or was it a dream within a dream? Can that happen? How many times have you fallen asleep?#How many dreams deep are you already in?#WHAT IF HE STARTED ROTTING #what if he was living in his own dead body!!!!! Would that be fucked up or what!!!!!#Something about reigen sparks a desire to see him experience pain disconnected with reality #The dreams in train hell are only getting longer. None of them are peaceful. He can’t tell if his hair is greying from aging or how much th #Dreams take a toll on him. How much time has really passed? Can he even rely on how his body is changing? Is it truly time who is #Responsible? Or is it him? Or the train itself?#What if all they found of him was a dryed up body with a beating heart and pulsating brain. Laying limp and clothing scattered #If I really indulge myself the scratched out days. When looked at from farther away. Still marking the potential days reads #Abandon all hope #ye who enter here #Which yeah that’s stretching into being ridiculous but it would be cool TO ME #Dante’s inferno you are so silly and special to me #I got really autistic here but <3 big fan of horror huge fan of suffering <333 #ALSO!! taking inspiration from “heck” short film but the days might be counted by “sleeps” as time cannot accurately be measured in a place #That defies universal law #Ok I think I’m done now ok I’m normal probably

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phoenixcatch7 · 3 days

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The problem I'm having with one of my stories is that it is compelling - but not clicking.

It's a sephiroth gets reincarnated into mdzs. Straightforward. I've got several branching paths: lwj, jc, nmj (my personal fave) and the jade twins (one mind in two bodies). All five of them have great potential, but for some reason my heart is set on sephiroth!lwj, because the aesthetic is sublime.

But! It's! Not! Working!

My main problems are a) despite similar surfaces, sephiroth has fundamentally different morals and life experiences to lwj and lwjs morals are a huge part of his and wwx's stories. B) I can't NOT have wangxian. I don't ship often at all, but when I do I'm pretty set on it lol. I don't want to deny soulmates. Unfortunately I HATE writing romance. C) I do not think sephiroth should be in any sort of romantic relationship at all nor can I see him wanting one. I've read tons of fics where he is in relationships (healthy or otherwise) and they're amazing, yes, but... Under my pen it's just not in the cards. And I do feel pairing him with wwx would just amplify wwx's worst traits, which is the opposite of what lwj does for him.

Everything's in conflict, but the lure of sephiroths second childhood in strict gusu and his complicated feelings about it, wwx being a perfect mix of all his important people with a spine of steel and righteousness that they all lost as everything fell apart, the relationship between sephiroth and his new mother, and how he'd inexplicably lose her too, the white on white aesthetic, the older identical brother, the cruel angels aesthetic with the benevolent demon, the angst of wwx's defection and death, his relationship with qi as a planet's overflowing life force, the tragedy of the mourning angel, monster x monster.... It calls to me.

But there's also the way wwx becoming a demonic cultivator was so vital to winning the war, and the way that affected things, gave him a legitimacy. Involve the silver soldier, and well. Everything else becomes a little extraneous lol. And sephiroth himself is such a big mover and shaker, I don't know what I could do to manage that without wiping out 80% of the remaining jianghu after the burial mounds siege with sephiroth appointing himself king lmao. He's not the kind of person to make small ripples, you know?

And I'd love a twin jades au to sort of turn the chaos inwards a bit (nmj and jgy would be Excellent foils) but again, I can't separate wangxian and imagining scenes feels a bit too close to incest for my tastes, even when it's ONE PERSON in identical bodies!

It's frustrating, wanting to write a non romance fic set in a love story lol. I just. I hate writing romance. But wangxian just don't want to be parted.

But the image of lwj in the xuanwu cave secretly covering a feverish wwx with his wing, only to notice a handful of white feathers pushing through the black as he unknowingly becomes a better person through showing care for other people, shaking his own deep belief that he is a horrible irredeemable creature incapable of love. Caught in an act of love. Hnggh.

Any ideas?!

#It's so frustrating because the block is on my end it's less so an issue with the actual plot #I know people love crossover character reincarnations even in canon soulmates (my other fics have shown me that lol) but wangxian feels lik #Too much? Idk I don't. Want to try and create a relationship #If you don't know in ff7 wing colour is determined by their morality. As a kid sephiroth was symbolised with white feathers #But as he grew older and later snapped he got the iconic black wing. I see it more as a 'what do they perceive themselves as' which #Gets extra angst points for unreliable narration and blindly righteous vs self loathing vs healing vs denial #The wing probably shouldn't be in the fic it's from the j cells and a symptom of insanity but ehhh it's too cool and symbolic #Like there's so much you can do with seph!lwj. Burning nibelheim vs cr burning. Prodigy on a lonely pedestal. Strict gusu vs sterile shinra #Having a mother but being restricted from her and losing her anyway and nobody telling him anything because he's a little kid #Angel x demon aesthetic on the battlefield. Safer mode HAS to make an appearance I don't make the rules (it's way too underrated ToT)#Wwx would get horns and fangs and stuff to balance it out lol. Noncon bodmod from the energy coursing through you #I feel he'd relate. Lwj being utterly terrified of wwx mentally degrading from the resentment and being forced to watch him ruin himself #Lwj seeing the best of all the people he loved in wwx and seeing him be so genuinely relentlessly GOOD where they fell apart.#Him being terrified of his own overwhelming feelings hurting wwx like cloud. The possessiveness and simultaneous avoidance #Him being even less easily flustered XD. Wwx has a high bar to top some fans from his last life.#Bb lwj getting really stubborn over wanting a stupid big sword and then growing huge enough to use it lol #Sephiroth getting a 'proper' childhood and being so unused to it he can't tell it's still not a very good one. Being doted on by his big br #mdzs #mxtx mdzs #mdzs fanfiction #mdzs fic #mo dao zu shi #lan wangji #ff7 #final fantasy vii #cloud strife #final fantasy 7 #sephiroth #This is working on the idea sephiroth got controlled by jenova btw the other version is beyond hope #mdzs au

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astranite · 11 months

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--whiney rant and vent--- starts at tumblr but descends into my life.

Fucking tumblr!! *grabs tumblr and aggressively shakes it*

Some new hell update has made it so every time I reblog a post, i go right back to the top of my dash and have to scroll half a mile through the posts Ive already seen to get back to the ones i havent yet seen and want to see!! And even with the scroll bar it takes ages and breaks the loading and makes it nearly genuinely unusable!!!

But Im still going to even though it sucks, because tumblr is my designated scroll and look at characters time and be with mutuals. And yes this is a very small whiny thing to rant about, especially given the state of the damn world, but with the rest of my life imploding in many numbered crisises that even one of would be apparently considered a fairly major thing to have to deal with im now realsising because through massive amounts of avoidance id just gone "this is fine" despite being very reasonably banned from the word fine by 5 different people and then me, and then others going 'wow that really is alot' semihorrified, and I awkwardly laugh because i am used to this and its not that bad and whatever stupid shit i tell myself to keep going.

So yes, whining about tumblr because at this point its a load bearing coping mechanism. And its somewhat a last straw because i am barely hanging on as it is but ill deal with this like everything else because there isnt any other options.

#astra stuff #ill survive this i just got to be dramatic about it first #and some of this stuff i dont think im actually being dramatic about because its really not fine #yknow the stressed and terrified with the whole trying to move out and figuring out how possibly can i because at this point i really need #chronic illnesses being chronic annoyingly #trying to hold everyone together and then myself too #dumb panic attacks because im on a hair thin trigger but shrugging them off halfway through because i dont have time nor energy for this #the whole fucking cpstd thing which apparently psychologists dont hand out like halloween candy #so there really is a problem here given meeting the diagnostic critera #and what happened to me being just so incredibly Fine!#you can probably at this point see exactly the reason why i write scott like i do #okay apparently more dumb rant in the tags #and im getting really sick of the goverment social whatever services fucking hold music #plus the daily attempt convince my stupid emotions that nooo everyone does not despise me in particular that doesnt even make logical sense #ugh #cant exactly say im fine but i am getting help for what i can

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sa-bo · 1 year

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Genuinely need a break from this arc real quick why does One Piece delve so deep into the ethics of war this arc, like holy shit I'm gonna fucking die

#so much emotional shit been happening during the marineford arc im gonna come out of this feeling like a jaded war soldier #seeing coby having a downright full-on panic attack while bodies fall to the ground around him?? isnt this kid like 15-17 #and literally any scene where some shit happens to luffy is absolutely mortifying in nature ever since drum island #one piece sets itself up like ''lol look at these pirate friends getting into hijinks and saving each other and conquering the world!''#but then shit gets crazy every time #i can no longer in good conscience recommend this without warning people abt how scary it gets sometimes #i feel like the first taste comes during arlong park where we see nami repeatedly stabbing herself #then with us seeing zoro's wound stapled shut and bleeding like a motherfucker as he still tries to fight #because they couldn't get professional medical help even if they probably saw his fucking guts and ribcage #but shit just keeps getting more terrifying every arc #alabasta? civil war. we see the princess of her country screaming her lungs out in vain for her people to stop fighting #sky island? mass genocide. for funsies. by a man so hopped up on delusions and apathy he thinks it's funny #water 7? we see the downfall of ohara and robin trying to Fucking Commit Suicide because she finally found ppl who like her #thriller bark--THRILLER BARK SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.#seeing brook's crew sing together one last time as they all progressively drop dead one by one until only one is left #and the utter terror as we see zoro standing surrounded by his own blood in a 20 foot radius around him #impel down we see the horrors of the world government and how they treat their prisoners with layers of hell #and marineford we see a war even worse than that which we saw in alabasta #horrible horrible shit

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nomairuins · 2 months

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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing #but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day #while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes #and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her #but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work #and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to #but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat #what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me #and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even #b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it #i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified #theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying #but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly #idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me #me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in #that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i #saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage #for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god #idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week #and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice #i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel #hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in #touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment #a2t #i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it #graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol

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smalltimidbean · 9 months

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oh to have a fiend plush… i mean i can technically get one made by budsies (a plush making company) but you’re probably not comfortable with that. which is perfectly valid

i must confess i never thought i would admire them so much as i do lol (even if they slightly scare me /lh)

ah well i’ll continue to admire them from afar

Yeah, not only would I be very uncomfortable with that, it'd be incredibly disrespectful (and just plain weird) to take my personal character (or anyone's, really) and make a plush of them to keep for yourself - so, please do not do that

If I did theoretically have a project featuring Bean and Fiend, and it was popular enough for merch, Fiend plush would definitely be one of the first things to make, much to their chagrin hehe

Again, unlikely to happen, but thanks for liking Fiend so much!

(Also tangent, but if I had a nickel for every time someone really liked a more antagonistic spin-off of Bean, I would have at least two nickels, which is not a lot, but it is weird that it has happened at least twice… (reference))

#bean talks too much #sometimes I do think it would be cool to have a project with that kinda popularity but then I think about for like two more seconds kjdgfkj #for one I tend to work on things super hard for a while and then burn out completely and then never get back to that level of work #two I can barely handle the 'popularity' I have right now which isn't even that much #I already get super overwhelmed with checking tumblr in the morning and seeing like 50 notes and maybe one ask #imagine that times like ten and I explode into green slime #and I am bad at talking to people so I end up ghosting everyone by accident and I probably come across stand-offish and unapproachable #and I don't reach out to anyone bc it's fucking terrifying so most days I simply do not talk #three I am super particular/protective about things so if people took my characters and made AUs about them I'd probably freak the fuck out #which I know is INCREDIBLY HYPOCRITICAL of me to say bc I do exactly that so I would probably have to just deal with it #these are all things I personally need to work on but still scary to think about #what was this ask about I spiralled a bit #uhhhhhhh thanks for liking Fiend #okay time to draw what I was supposed today

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puppys-rhythm-heaven · 4 months

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i am being so fucking autistic about a video game i've only played an hour and a half of and have absorbed like 99% of my information about through osmosis from my bestie(s. it's complicated) and fanfiction. catastrophic levels of autism. i can't stress this in words i don't think y'all understand. or care honestly sdflkjfdskdfsjsfdkj-

#puppy rambles #slightly hurts to know no one seems to really care but eh. can't blame anyone i know y'all follow me for rhythm heaven #i think i have been making high-quality posts though y'all aren't appreciating my incomprehensible rambles about persona enough </3 #/lh #(which is funny since this blog isn't even really a rhythm heaven blog anymore i don't think that'll be my main hyperfixation for a bit)#(if ever. it was uhhhhhh. kindddddd of unhealthy. haha lol xd :3)#(turns out a rhythm game that i barely interact with the fandom for is not stimulating enough for my adhd and autism!!! shocking i know)#(i still love rhythm heaven but it was bad for my brain-)#(i'm happy for all the friends i made through it though :333 even if i've only talked to like. one or two of you guys cuz of anxiety)#(and even then just through asks because the idea of interacting with people on tumblr through other means honestly terrifies me)#anyways it's going down now persona 3 reload bops hard idk 99% of the lyrics though #persona songs are good at being incomprehensible. even if you can understand the lyrics i think they're kinda nonsensical sometimes #i mean. check it out i'm in the house like carpet. that's an actual line from a persona song #which is hilarious to me. funniest metaphor #anyways wiping all out is the best persona song i think (<- only actually remembers what like 10 persona songs sound like)#been a little while but i'm still prattling. not a princess (a lot of anger in it) not your cutie girlfriend oh no don't you know #three dots connect to rectangles. demolition #yes i did specifically play p3p and specifically as girl. i probably won't play it more for a while now tho tbh #i kinddddd of spoiled myself on. basically all of the important plot points. through lesbian fanfiction #look can you really blame me. like *vaguely gestures* the door and the toaster are fucking KISSING #they should undoor. i knowwwwww it goes against the game's message but. shut up. i like happy endings #no dead lovers allowed over here >:(#they deserve to be happy and not crucified

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yoohyeon · 1 year

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Gonna leave my CV to my maybe futur job later today

#I’m excited but also terrified BFKSBDJ #they hired someone already but they don’t think they are gonna stay for long so they are going to put me at the top of the list #and it’s the same place my mom applied and they say they would make an exception for me cause they really want my mom to work there <3 #working with my mom is going to be fun unless she’s having a bad day then it would be hell 😳#but like it’s the perfect place for me 😭#I’m mad my dad didn’t think of me first but also my mom really need a new job but my mom litterally can go anywhere bfksbd #but hey it’s just for now honestly it’s 25h so like more than double my last job and I had enough to pay for my phone and Sowon’s things #so I will have extra money to buy things that make me happy and plan my futur #cause I also don’t know what to do with my life yet bfksbd #If it works I won’t have to call and cancel #my meeting with my social worker 😭#cause we agree we would put it at another time if I haven’t found a job or if my quiz results weren’t ready which is the only thing #we would talk about so if I didn’t work on finding a job we would only have the test and for now the test is not even done 😭#the medical clinic called yesterday but haven’t call again or called on our personal phone so idk if it was for this #can’t wait to know what’s probably ‘’wrong’’ with me bfkdbdjdj #alex.txt

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