#which is not healthy but anyways
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so i just had a thought
+ bonus mini comic because i saw an opportunity with eileen's dialogue and took it
#the first piece of sxf fanart ive made after literal months is a crossover :skull:#spedran this in a day because my brain wouldnt let me work on anything else until i finished it#which is not healthy but anyways#i wouldve made anya the doll since that would also parallel yor being maria#but then i remembered dolls lore implications are kinda#yeah#spy x family#anya forger#loid forger#yor forger#twiyor#LMAO I FORGOT TO TAG THIS AS BLOODBORNE#chiimo art shenanigans#bloodborne
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
#aromantic#aro positivity#aspec#aroace#aro#aromantic joy#arospec#when i saw its important to 'love' yourself - pls understand i am in no way trying to exclude loveless aros from this#that was just the easiest way to express what i meant! when i say 'love' i mean positivity/respect/happiness. etc. i just used that word bc#it works for ME which is why i said it. but feel free to replace it with whatever works for you! <2#also sorry if not everything im saying makes total sense i tried my best#this is something ive been thinking about for a while and have been struggling to articulate#i maybe should have read some theory for this abt community building but im too tired + overwhelmed w school reading right now so sorry.#if anyone has additions on that front though please do add them#also ngl im kinda scared to post this. i hope i explained what i mean well enough. like i get wanting to vent and express self hate BUT.#there is nuance to this and it is not unilaterally healthy i think. also i dont see any other online community fostering the normalisation#of selfhate the way the aspec one does! which makes me feel weird abt it especially.#anyway. this is basically my personal philosophy towards aromanticism#mossy posts#⚙️
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OLLD drawing I can share now of Timmy after recovery and care from staying on double life and being looked after by the box boys~
He’s healthier, happier, his hair and wings have grown back out and have a pretty blue-black sheen to them (that he never knew he had bc in hels his diet and environment only let them be dull) and he just heard the sound of a portal opening for someone to come visit~!
#I’m still gonna draw scraggly Timmy most of the time bc this version is only after a LONG long road of peace and health on double life#BUT LOOK AT HIM!!!!#my fave bit is that he still gets to have his long hair like he likes but he’s confident enough#to push it out of his face with ren’s glasses when he wants#the glasses also let him flip them down and protect his eyes which he needed a LOT when starting out#the sun is so warm and pretty but his eyes have known mostly darkness of his cave in hels so he needs some light reduction here and there#anyways I’m so happy to share this I will always love and explore pathetic creature Timmy and DONT GET ME TWISTED—he’s still very pathetic#even when healthy but he’s learned and growed and gets to put meat on him bones#gets a bit more of that Jimmy broadness in his shoulders and stands up a bit straighter so ppl realize even more that he kinda tall!!!#ok enough yammering BAM HITS U WITH THE TIMMY SMILE RAY HAVE A GOOD DAY#hels to pay au#htp art#Timmy#htp spoilers
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*tries to organize my thoughts*
*remembers i'm not in school and therefore beholden to neither heaven nor hell nor any man's grading system*
*joyously shredding & tossing all my carefully arranged 3x5 mental notecards into the air like so much beige confetti. raising my arms in victory, cheering raucously until i accidentally inhale bits of homemade confetti*
(*coughing up itty bits of paper like a cat evicting a hairball with a firm understanding of tenants' rights*) wait wat happens next
#i marie kondoed my thoughts and *i* feel great. but now my stream-of-consciousness has escaped containment#so many innocent bystanders at stake#every time i try to organize my thoughts i run out of plastic bins and have to make a trip to the container store where i get even more dis#racted so. you can't just hand me THIS brain and NO catalogue OR library classification system#and expect me to single-handedly sort through all this nonsense? bad form but fucking form not in my job description#aNYways. formal education sure did a FUCKING NUMBER on us huh#(a number i measure not in gpa or dollars of student debt.#but in the number of therapy sessions & medical debt it will take to recover.)#seriously folks. our education systems are...innately traumatizing for a huge number of students. and we NEED to address this.#the fact that it is culturally common for adults to have anxiety nightmares about school/exams...even decades later?#that is not cute. it is Alarming.#no one--much less entire generations--should be spending their developmental years in an environment of chronic stress & pressure & strain#and yet that is the reality for millions and millions of pre-teen and teenage and young adult students#this isn't healthy and it serves and empowers NO ONE#...except of course the many exploitative educational & financial & debt-collecting institutions thriving from the current balance of power#and of course it's a nefarious and powerful way to sabotage/erase the middle class#which billionaires and the wealth-inequality creators they finance couldn't possibly have any noteworthy interest in whatsoever#it's not like there's an elite group of people with huge financial incentives to drain/steal resources from the masses...#anyways sorry for going all Conspiracy Theory on you.#obviously the billionaires who control the vast majority of our resources and news and political campaign funding#are not tied to every single itty bitty social issue and i'm a silly billy to imply it#please tell elon musk to ignore this tweet i am so subservient and acquiescent#mr musky u r so good at inheriting slavery-built mining fortunes & buying other people's companies#& building rocket ships & fancy cars that do NOT explode/catch fire & also NOT running billion dollar companies into the ground#mr musky u r so talented genius billionaire playboy with 10 kids and ex-wives who find you creepy af babe u r basically iron man
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finally was able to sit down and draw them!! odyssey duo my loves <3 they are so precious to me... also, there's some bonus ken and wifies sketch below because i also love them <3
#unstable universe#unstableverse#parrotx2#wifies#odyssey duo#kenadian#i honestly dont know their duo name#ive seen two used and i genuinely have no idea which one is more common??#anyway odyssey duo!!! they are my absolute favorites#the one single healthy relationship on the whole uu server#i hope their loyalty to each other wont lead to anything bad!#anyway i can yap about them forever#ken is here too ig j#actually im going to start advocating for them to become a trio#please please#☆ my art .
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Right so what if Danny became a psychologist instead of Jazz?
His friends and family died protecting him. So when he runs away and starts a new life, he adopts traits from all of them (both as a way of grieving and a way to honor them). For Tucker and Sam, Danny splits his free time between being a white hat hacker and a vocal environmental activist. For his parents, he adopts more of their eccentric personality. When he's not in a professional setting, he is loud and in your face about the latest thing he's been working on (he's also just about the most loyal person you can meet).
And for Jazz, his precious big sister, Danny decides to excel in the career path she never got the chance to enter. He resolves to fulfill her goal of helping out those society has deemed irredeemable. The ones nobody else can or wants to help. The first one he starts with, is the Joker.
#dp x dc#dc x dp#dpxdc#dcxdp#winter's tales#twisting yourself into a hodge podge of your loved ones personalities and aspirations isn't healthy#in caee i needed to point that out#but danny was in a bad mental state for a while and needed to start a new life anyway so....#he's more well adjusted now but still#i'ma be honest i just kinda wanted danny channeling his inner jazz#as he systematically breaks down the joker's arguments and persona#without ever breaking eye contact#this is the result of that one scene running away from me#just like these tags#but oh well we press on#because i also want to explain#how effing hilarious it is to think about the batfam getting word about a new employee at arkham#which already has them in panic mode#and then they find out he's working with joker!?#double panic#then they talk with him and he sounds like he has a whole box of screws loose with the way he rambles on#alright everybody prepare for a new rogue to hit the streets soon!#until they get their hands on the first session danny had with joker#and he's clearly not the same guy they talked to weeks ago#his personality is just way too different#what the hell is going on?
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No More Skizzlepregnancy!
#is this kind of insenitive? maybe. is it funny? i'll let you decide. im really tired rn#anyway in all seriousness i hope skizz feels better soon :( from what i've heard shingles can be quite painful#i only know about it because of tv ads for the elderly which makes it kind of funny to me. despite its horribleness#your favorite mcyter is 20something and healthy my favorite mcyter has old man chickenpox. save him PLEASE#this is not going in the tags.#sillyposting
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I am so zen about this. Kallo, Female Ryder (custom) / Mass Effect Andromeda (c) Bioware
#n7 day#mass effect#mass effect andromeda#comic#female ryder#custom ryder#kallo#kallo jath#bioware#mass effect fanart#when consuming media I generally follow the rule of 'if the plan is desribed it won't happen that way' -#but sometimes I stray from the path and allow myself to hope.#the stick figure enemies have returned. I'm very happy about the one on the right. he looks so happy.#well. what's been happening. I've dropped into a hole of ricky gervais hyperfixation which is uh. completely normal and healthy.#there has also been a lot of elder scrolls online. my goal is to finish the aldmeri story arch but it's haha... a very long game.#anyway.#happy n7 day!
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something about people calling vrisrezi "toxic yuri" always puts me off. i understand the lack of words to really put their dynamic but like you know theyre in a relationship thats largely good for them right. they arent dating because "it sucks but it would be worse without each other" they genuinely really love each other a lot
#just as a baseline understanding here i am outright stating that their moiraillegance is a romantic relationship which includes kissing etc#if u cannot meet me on that level i dont think i really want to discuss vrisrezi with you#anyways its just so weird to me i dont know. i dont have a super great way of articulating it#they do Need each other they are codependent and its not necessarily healthy#but unhealthy does not equal toxic#they dont hurt each other on purpose they make each other so so happy and they do so much for each other and thats what makes them worse#because as much as they are universally destined to be together by the Laws of Paradox Space they are also universally doomed#and i mean straight up like. terezi is vriska's fp i feel like this is a given with the almost unambiguous bpd coding of vriska#and that isnt a type of relationship that vriska serket and terezi pyrope are exactly going to understand or manage well#but i also think that calling a favorite person relationship toxic by the nature of it regardless of who specifically is in it#is really gross? and harmful? and it doesnt make you sound cool when you talk about vrisrezi like that#ok wow this got really really out of hand. vrisrezi isnt really “toxic” if you read the comic thank you good night#vriska#terezi#my posts ::::)
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someone on twitter (then compiled and reposted to tiktok) presented an analysis on the ways tee runs up the hill and how it correlates with him playing that week (with an extra ja’marr lol) and I’m just admiring their dedication and also tee’s relationship with this one hill in particular.
#tee and ja’marr nearly always run up the hill btw :(( which is cute as hell (with tb too back them 😔)#and if the other receivers walk with them they follow suit if not the they just walk on by aaa#anyway just super thrilled he’s healed and is playing again and am supremely hoping he stays healthy 😊#that second clip made me want to die though ahaha he can’t be in so much pain :((#love seeing him in all white btw ugh look at those long ass legs#tee higgins#ja’marr chase
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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!
wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end
#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh#some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2#recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person#and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety#like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that#my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms#UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child#so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had#a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time#which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it#and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md#hilson#greg house#james wilson#stacy warner
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Sometimes I just remember that oh right it's apparently a slightly controversial opinion that I think if Palpatine hadn't been involved at all that Anakin could've been perfectly happy and fulfilled with the Jedi.
Like just from rots we see Anakin want to follow Jedi ideals, to seek advice and even help from the very Jedi that fandom loves to act like he hates and who hate him in return, and we see the Jedi around him actually have a lot of respect for him! But every time he makes progress Palpatine is whispering in his ear and pulling out the stitches and re-opening the wounds, making it near impossible for him to actually grow as a Jedi and instead he grows closer to Falling. Not to mention the war, which was orchestrated in part to actively challenge the Jedi's morals and make them make bad and questionable choices.
Plenty of Legends canon and even current canon in things like the marvel comics show Anakin actively wrestling and considering Jedi philosophy, the pros and cons, and working through all his trauma and trying to figure out what's right for him and what the Jedi code actually means. People act like he only ever does lightsaber training and that he never picked up a book in his entire padawanship (which not only is just not how the Jedi Order works from what we see but honestly is just a boring take on the character imo).
Like, I just don't think that Anakin is actually incompatible with the Jedi Order! I think he could've thrived there if he wasn't being actively sabotaged and also had more time.
#anakin skywalker#jedi positive#pro jedi#anyway i also dont think that the jedi order is incompatible with romance just that anakin has trauma about#his interpersonal attachments and that he didnt get a great teaching on it in canon bc obi wan needs therapy#nd so never really discussed it with anakin#which is not necessarily a shot at obi wan i just think that entire lineage has communication issues lmao#like obi wan has both trauma and oin legends actual healthy relationships and exes he no longer dates#who were jedi!#but like he doesnt actually discuss this with anakin?#and tbh thats the most canon to me lmao obi wan just doesnt realize he needs to talk about it or maybe how?#anakin#sw meta#sorta lmao#jedi order
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the chunin exams arc was so interesting for how it portrayed sakura's potential and how people in her life influenced it. kakashi lying about the team-based enrollment criteria because he thinks sakura would be likely to sign up only to appease sasuke, and being genuinely surprised when she shows up anyway. naruto being completely oblivious when sakura was upset preceding the exams and also after she cut her hair in the forest of death. naruto literally dreaming about saving sakura from enemies, being the hero to her damsel-in-distress. sakura moulding herself into a perfectly feminine lady because that's what society demanded and what she thought sasuke would want. versus sasuke calling her out for focusing too much on romance instead of her skills like she should be doing. sasuke picking up that she was upset because she felt inadequate and reminding her of what she was best at -- maybe even better than him -- and never begrudging her for it. ino hacking into her mind because she was sure, not a single doubt in her mind, that sakura would know the answers to the impossible questions on the written exam. ino and sasuke both stepping in to save her during her fight with the sound nin, but only after being spurred on by the brutal beating she took. ino and sasuke getting frustrated with naruto when he commented on how her haircut looked because it made sakura trivialize her experience and offer a fake explanation about women being fickle. the flashbacks revealing to us that ino affirmed that she would one day bloom into a beautiful flower. ino and sasuke serving as a catalyst for sakura to get stronger before pt 1 and pt 2 respectively. idk do you see what i'm seeing
#haruno sakura#inosaku#sasusaku#idk considering sakura's main goal as a character....#it's just so touching they're the only ones we see who ever seemed to expect something of her. believe in her even...#and tsunade eventually ofc. really really wish we had more of that dynamic#and i dont wanna discredit naruto he did cheer her on during her fight w ino#i just think this theme of knowing and encouraging sakura's potential is not really. true of ns as it is for is and ss#which is why whenever i see those 'naruto was the only one who saw sakura's REAL self' posts a part of me shrivels up and dies#the 'real self' in question = beating him up for little to no reason#and like sure it alludes to her real personality but it's not a healthy expression of it. that's why it occurs w far less frequency in pt 2#anyway i'd need a whole other post to delve into that but let's just say it's really not an interpretation i enjoy#naruto meta
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Rereading the early chapters is fun, because you think there's a sort of funny scene coming up and then Kim Sunghan mentions his college days in passing and Yoojin thinks wouldn't it be nice to go to college. And then follows it up with I Need To Get Drunk.
#sctir#sctir lb#hyj#ksh#lowkey forgot how Aware he is of all the things he missed out on due to the parentification#like idk I kind of think of him as more or less content as long as he gets to be around his kids but obviously he spent a long time#on his own and very bitter about it which would only add to the regrets#the scene with ksh is set at a college bar and yj feels deeply out of place because he's older than those kids etc. except he's not really#if he were a 'normal' 25 year old this may have been how he spent his time at that age#but because he had to grow up so quickly as a caretaker he did not get to be an immature student who fooling around#and I think the way high rank awakeners get to sort of be carried through school really adds to that bitterness#the guy who recommended the bar barely attends classes and only hasn't failed out because of the privileges of his rank#similarly to the military stuff#anyway Yoojin I know you went to rehab but have we considered trying healthy coping mechanisms
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genuinely so unwell thinking about how there’s such an emphasis placed on vax being the one who needs his sister, who asks her to not go far from him, who is nothing without her. vex is the one who’s always been more independent, vax says it himself: she doesn’t need him. but in the end, vax is the one who leaves. and vex doesn’t realize just how much she needed her brother until it’s too late.
#anyways. 🙃#i’ve always thought about this but the way they did episode 3 just made it so painfully clear#also let it be known that i’m in no way saying that vex is a bad sister or that she doesn’t need/love her brother#she’s just slightly less codependent. which let’s be honest is probably healthy.#critical role#tlovm spoilers#the legend of vox machina#tlovm#the legend of vox machina spoilers#vex and vax#vax’ildan#vex’ahlia#eli.posts
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I decided to start talking about Wick and Rocky's relationship because I like their dynamics too, I like seeing Wick scared of Rocky and Rocky being aggressive with him, which is unusual because Rocky is rarely aggressive with anyone, but of course Wick is an exception to rule
Also my mini opinion about their possible relationship, I think that if Rocky didn't have to fight for his place, then he and Wick could become friends, or at least tolerate each other a little, I also see some superficial similarities, their gentlemanly and romantic natures, and their common love for explosions (remembering the quarrymen chapter), but this is my assumption, I think that I don't understand the characters' personalities well, so I can be wrong in this assumption, something like that. So, what do you think about their relationship?
for starters, i cannot thank you enough for this ask! as i’ve said previously, i have many thoughts on these two, so it’s nice to finally be able to share some of them. although given the extent to which i think about them, i apologize in advance if this is sloppy and sort of everywhere … while i’ll try to structure things the best i can, i cannot promise i’ll succeed! but hopefully this is an enjoyable reply nonetheless.
one of my favorite things about rocky and wick’s relationship is absolutely how aggressive rocky is towards the aristocrat ; he is prone to glares and cruel jokes and borderline hissing whenever the man is within his line of sight, or can be brought to a wailing-fit over the mere mention of his name from miss m’s mouth. there is a childishness to it, but a very prominent threat as well in spite of rocky’s usual incompetence. so he goes out of his way to posture around wick, readily lying and adorning himself with the gangster drapes he so badly wants to wear, in the hopes that it intimidates … will even badmouth wick’s family and make fun of his name and rock related obsession to mitzi, and so on so forth! yet all of this is very reminiscent of schoolyard bullying rather than anything too severe, though we as the audience understand rather quickly that rocky would bash wick’s head in with a tire iron if he could. ( translation : if it wouldn’t earn the tears or hate of a certain beloved mitzi may ) and it’s all very intense despite the absence of actual violence! and i understand why many fans see this as unusual for rocky and believe that it’s only wick who makes him act so aggressively, but i’d argue it isn’t really wick at all that prompts such scary reactions from him … and that rocky is a deeply angry character who’s a.) been boiling quietly for a long, long time and b.) has turned wick into a punching bag of sorts for this inner world of resentment and hurt. basically, when he’s judging the well-to-do or poking fun, his eyes don’t look at wick and actually acknowledge him as sedgewick sable ; instead this is a being, something vague and metaphorical, who threatens to upseat rocky’s permanence in the lackadaisy and steal away his savior, and he’s had a hand in the violinist’s misfortune for a long time.
obviously, rocky doesn’t think wick robbed him of his family twice over and made him homeless, but he is channeling the fear and anguish of those events into his loathing for wick, if that makes sense? it’s easier that way -- to finally have an outlet for everything bleeding inside of you, to be able to bite and claw at something without feeling conflicted or having to take personal accountability for your own mistakes … which is something that i think rocky does struggle with to a degree. he is sort of a finger pointer! his pain has to be worth something, it has to be for someone else ; spending years homeless and losing his last bit of family was for freckle, and the scrambling of his literal brain was for mitzi, and that means he can’t ever be angry with them! well, except that he is, somewhat, but he buries it deep down instead of feeling it. with freckle there is a sense of strain between them -- an air of ‘you owe me’ from rocky to freckle as he uses freckle to appease miss m, and he constantly pokes fun at his cousin too. it’s lighter than his jabs at wick, but there’s a constant pestering, a reminder of how good freckle has it : how he’s got the mom and the house and the job and the girl most notably. i don’t think rocky is intending to come across as mean, and to his credit he hardly does! but it’s rather clear to me that some part of him, some hidden and deeply hurt part, is rather indignant about taking the fall for freckle all those years ago. which he can’t understand, because how could he? he made that choice, he decided to take accountability for something he didn’t do because he loves freckle and knows it’d be so easy to believe this family tragedy was roark’s fault ; the devilish child he was, all troublesome and too broken to properly fit anywhere. so there is a disconnect born here, where rocky can’t comprehend that he’d be angry at freckle, so instead these not so great feelings are placed elsewhere and silently boil over time. and with mitzi … i don’t think he’s angry at her per se, but there is a frustrated and desperate chorus of : why him and why not me, when i’m the one out here dying for you? which is certainly unpleasant. of course, rather than allowing those feelings to be more aimed at miss m, whom he feels unloved by, he ( again! ) represses these emotions and allows them to fester into his greatest fears and fantastical complexes. i think there is a lot of other miscellaneous anger he could have towards others too … perhaps some part of him is sore upon seeing ivy’s normal lifestyle, watching her go to university and knowing that’s been taken from him. or an ache felt when hearing stories from zib and the band and how they used to travel successfully, living as nomads, and rocky is all too reminded of his similar lifestyle and how he couldn’t make it work as effortlessly. people with immense trauma are more prone to irrational anger and jealousy, to viewing everything around them as unfair and believing it’s even more unjust that so many people get to live comfortably while they’ve suffered. a situation that gets more messy when you’re someone like rocky, a man who’s willingly made choices that have harmed himself and wants to continue on with his smiling, bumbling fool of an act. he does not want to be angry, does not want to see it within himself, i think, which leads to an accidental increase of it.
all of this is to reiterate that wick is a scapegoat for rocky and nothing more. it’s why he’s rather hypocritical whenever it concerns the man. for example, it was stated by tracy that he looks down upon wick for his excessive presence at the bar, yet he appears to enjoy hanging out with zib -- who drinks just as often! he makes fun of how all wick ever talks about is rocks, when he himself is prone to poetry rambles that people find irritating or boring, and etc etc. this is also just a human nature thing, to critique someone you heavily dislike and even going as far as to belittle things you love or do in your own day to day because you just hate them that bad! but given rocky’s willingness to befriend anyone, it more so reeks of a dehumanization element. wick is every obstacle in his way, every divine force that threatens to send him packing again, so he is equal parts unnerved by wick’s presence and angry about it. it is mostly a fear response we are seeing, an emotion that’s morphed into long held resentment and anger. so his actions are extremely defensive, with him trying to push wick far away and keep him and mitzi separate, like some sort of animal attempting to ward off a threat that’s come too close to their home. despite the loaded animosity there, this hate has hardly reached its peak … but it shall only grow more intense as things continue onward i’m afraid, since as it stands ( in the comic at least ) rocky is at an all time low … and is ten times more desperate. i’d honestly say wick has become so warped in his mind’s eye that he can only strive towards ‘winning’ over the other man, because that’s all he can see anymore. i think mitzi implying that wick willingly helped her out, the intense head injury, and rocky’s fragile emotional state is exactly what pushes him towards premeditated murder in look-see. i don’t know how people perceive that arc, but to me it’s very clear that rocky actively sought to see the deaths of wes and fish that night. going as far as to lament that he’d be, “very disappointed if ( he ) dreamed them,” and purposefully luring the marigold duo away to have freckle pick them off. while you could argue that this was a smart move, in a gangster sort of sense, there’s still no denying that rocky is oddly chipper about the whole thing and is now seeking death out ; whereas before his methods of vengeance were just, well, ruining people’s livelihood but ultimately leaving them alive. this isn’t to discredit the fact that rocky is going through something! he is in a very muddled and dark place, mentally and physically, but even tracy has said that the head injury hasn’t changed rocky’s personality -- it’s only brought things to the surface.
source : q&a with tracy .
which, yeah! makes sense! head trauma can cause a person to become a wreck emotionally ( think mood swings, irritability, etc ) but it doesn’t completely morph someone either. personality changes may occur, but it’s not like you’re being rewritten entirely, you know? and given tracy’s old statement, it’s clear that ‘personality changes’ aren’t a side effect he’s suffering from. something that adds to my beginning statement, which is that rocky is a deeply angry and troubled person, more so than fans give him any credit for.
however, to touch upon your mini opinion about these two, i actually wholeheartedly agree that rocky and wick could become friends if circumstances were different. they do in fact have many superficial similarities, but one of the more prominent things they deeply share is never really belonging in the groups they frequent. this is more overt with rocky’s character, yet wick faces it too in subtle ways. the well-to-do crowd, seen through the investors, find the gentleman to be lacking in about every place imaginable ; to them he is an obsessive freak who cares too deeply for meager rocks, something they constantly mock him for, while he’s also being noticeably set apart from the rest of them … he seems younger than the investors, more excitable, passionate, and a little less experienced, and doesn’t seem to care for money or reputation as much as them either. there is a constant rubbing between him and them, where what he enjoys is seen as wrong, such as his love for the lackadaisy and his choice in paramor, a grieving widow with extremely dangerous ties. we also know that wick doesn’t have many friends at all, with the only two he has being lacy and church ( church is listed as such on his character profile, in a sort of tongue-in-cheek way ), both of whom work for or with him. they are obliged to hang around, and while they care in varying ways, they are prone to judging him just as much. honestly, it’s not shocking that wick seeks refuge at his chosen speakeasy! but even there he is rather distant from everyone else. he doesn’t speak to zib ever in the comics, nor seems all too close with viktor, ivy, or horatio … it is merely mitzi he is close to, even if he knows of the other people who work there. and, once again, wick very obviously doesn’t fit in. he is not gangster material, could never be an atlas may replacement, much less someone who could get his paws dirty in such an active way. so he has his feet in two different worlds and doesn’t know how to fit into either of them, or which one he actually wants to fit into more. i think in many ways rocky could relate -- these are two very lonely people who wish to belong somewhere and be accepted by some group or another but go about it in all the wrong ways. wick, who is too hesitant to fully commit to what he wants and is worse off for it, and then rocky, who obsessively throws himself against what he wants until he breaks every bone in his body. they also have explosives to bond over, lol, and other miscellaneous things like their taste in women i suppose … but this potential bond adds to the tragedy of lackadaisy, where we see two people who on every level should get along but we’re burdened with the knowledge that it’s an impossibility anyway, because there’s no removing the circumstance of which they’re in.
though i like to believe that despite wick’s fear of rocky, he maintains a kindness towards him regardless. i think his worries about rocky are rather surface level … he doesn’t know the boy at all, really, and thus can’t make heads or tails of him, hence him believing the lie in balderdash. so when i’m feeling particularly self indulgent, i like imagining a world where they’re forced together and sort of ‘stuck’ together ; to which rocky finally breaks and exposes his wounds to wick, in every sense of the word, and wick finally gets him. the aggression, the possessiveness of mitzi … it is all fear and desperation and a profound sadness, things he’d sympathize with. if rocky was able to explain that he loathes wick because if he saves the lackadaisy then mitzi won’t need him anymore and that it’s not fair that wick gets to so easily fix things when rocky would give his soul for his home, for her, and how wick could render every sacrifice he’s already made for naught by smoothing things over with some greenbacks and he can’t lose this, he just can’t --! … which, well, wick is too kind of a man to be able to do anything except feel awful, even though it’s not his fault at all. here we have two people who could coexist! and they should, since rocky logically can’t do every speakeasy job ( band member, rumrunner, mitzi’s shadow, also the guy who gets the money for the hooch ) by himself, just like how wick can’t save the lackadaisy with only his cash and limited booze stash. it’d be a joint cooperation, a collaboration between them, both equally important in the grand scheme of crime’s every turning wheel … but rocky’s rage and fear won’t let him see that, and likely never will. still, in scenarios where everything ends up alright for the lackadaisy and the people involved in it ( which is not how canon will go, by the way ), i fancy wick and rocky getting better within their relationship. rocky will always be prickly and quick to upset around the other man sadly, but perhaps he could see wick in a softer kind of light. or at least understand vaguely enough that he isn’t out to get rocky, so to speak. and then maybe wick learns that pancakes soothe rocky’s ire and poorly makes them anytime he wishes to talk to the man, and other fun things like that! but you should have more confidence in your character analysis skills, because you were spot on ( at least in my eyes ) about them potentially getting along if things were different. it’s certainly a fun aspect to play around with, and is important to note when discussing their relationship so you can fully understand just how warped rocky’s perspective on things are. and how unstable and traumatized he is too, of course </3 sidenote, but i also hope that throughout everything i’ve said here, or anything i’ve said before on my blog, that my love for rocky and my own sympathy for him comes across well enough. while he’s deeply flawed and i have no qualms discussing said flaws in depth, i also don’t think of him as some insane freak who’s evil at his core or anything like that. honestly, i adore analyzing him so much as a character because of how far down his issues go! he’s very well written, i’ll say, as is wick and many of the other characters, but i digress.
once more, thank you for the ask! i’ll end this here because i fear if i don’t i’ll start going in circles, since their relationship is so vast and very important for rocky in a character sense. hopefully i shed some more light on it though! i love these two to bits and pieces and i wouldn’t be half as invested in lackadaisy if their dynamic wasn’t so monumental -- at least to me.
#my asks.#lackadaisy analysis.#lackadaisy#rocky rickaby#sedgewick sable#tracy j butler#i also think rocky’s sudden taste for marigold blood is him making marigold his other scapegoat#he isn’t dealing with anything in a healthy manner and is so traumatized it’s starting to spill out of him … which is. uh. not good!!#but it sure is what’s currently happening regardless#cannot stress enough that rock is a very ill and traumatized individual who hasn’t had a single break in his life#he is constantly in stressful situations that are dangerous … and like.#when you’re constantly put in those situations you become numb. and angry. and it becomes hard to heal#or to truly connect to others … etc#i could talk in depth about rocky’s traumas and why they’ve caused this anger issue and this inner disharmony inside#because frankly there’s a lot there! and i hate to say it but people who are hurt normally show their hurt in ugly ways#especially if mentally ill … which rocky is imo#it’s just the reality of things! this isn’t me demonizing mental illness or the effects of trauma. i’m just being realistic here#someone as deeply troubled as rocky ( someone with NO outlet and whom hides his feelings from others and himself )#is bound to be. well. troubled!! his smiling facade is merely another mask he wears to cope and to be good for the people he loves#it is not … really rocky rickaby … rocky rickaby is that and the wrath and the self destruction and more#AHEM but i digress. how rocky treats wick and all that has really done wonders for understanding his character#and i truly love the wick / rocky / mitzi trio so bad. their relationships with each other is what drew me into this world#like. i am shaking them so much. the overlap!! the complexities inherit in their bonds and what that says about the individual characters!#it’s amazing truly lol like … i have had such fun thinking about them twenty four seven for the past three-ish months#anyway. anyway! i love analyzing these bitches. they can fit so much into them#and i’m rooting for wickmitzi endgame and for wick to desperately try to bond with rocky … while his bloodshot eye is twitching as we speak#lots of fun!!! lots of pain and agony too … rocky is nothing but a painful character alas. that is his nature. but that is also his appeal#and ooops i’ll shut up in the tags now i just. have a lot to say. and a lotta love to give to these two!! but uh. yeah <3 loved writing thi
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