#which is mean and annoying

[heinrixvancunt]

anyway. something doesn't need to be good for you to be able to enjoy it!!!!

[atthecenterofeverything]

in fact there IS a good grade in therapy that is (always) normal to want and (sometimes) possible to achieve in part through being labelled "insightful" and "self-aware" and it is to avoid being stripped of your autonomy and forcibly medicated + incarcerated. but of course the people treating this as laughably irrational - who think of therapy, in essence, as two people voluntarily talking in a room - are often the ones for whom this risk is the lowest

[fanaticalthings]

Most children, once they've grown up and moved out, sometimes come back to visit their parents to use their house as a sort of personal grocery store

And with Bruce being a literal billionaire whose house is always stocked with food and supplies, the batkids (that aren't living in the manor) definitely visit just for the purpose of taking shit for themselves.

---

For Dick, it's just small things, food and maybe some utensils. Bruce is barely in the kitchen so he never notices dishes go missing, and there are like 10 other children in his house so literally any one of the younger kids could've stolen food in the middle of the night, so he doesn't bat an eye at all.

Babs probably steals Bruce's hardware or his tools from the batcave. Sometimes, if she's nice, she'll leave a note.

Steph probably takes shit that no one will notice at the time but will absolutely be annoyed about when they need said thing. Stapler, soap bars, the microwave plate, etc...(Taking after Jason, she steals the hub caps off the batmobile's tires)

However, for Jason, once his relationship with Bruce is somewhat decent, of course he's gonna be petty and start stealing the more expensive shit in the manor for his apartment. Jason's microwave is broken? The next day, the cave's self-made and enhanced microwave made by Bruce for convenience is just gone.

Jason's feeling a coffee maker for his place? The one in Bruce's study disappears, too.

---

At first, Bruce thinks he's just sleep deprived, but then much bigger things start to go missing, like the whole TV and couch set in the living room. He assumes the younger kids are just playing pranks on him (sounds like something Stephanie would do) but then Bruce notices that the thief deliberately avoids stealing things from the kitchen, which is where Alfred is most of the time, and suddenly Bruce has an irritated clue on who the culprit is.

At first, he doesn't say anything, until one day he comes back, tired from a patrol, and is about to log in all the info on the computer only to realize his batchair is gone. That's when he texts Jason a blunt "If you really need things for your place, you can just ask me. I'll buy them for you." (As if Jason himself isn't loaded from his totally legal activities)

---

So now Jason's pettiness levels increase tenfold, and oh, wouldn't you look at it, his bike needs some new tires, and he knows a great place to get some more.

One night, Bruce is just blearily getting up for a late night snack, only to see Damian scamper away with a...lamp? So Bruce immediately follows him into the foyer only to see ALL of his kids (sans the ones not living in the manor), trying to haul two arm chairs out the window, and they just stop dead silent to stare at him until someone whispers a nervous "Crap"

Bruce doesn't even have any energy to fight, he just pinches his nose and is all "What is the meaning of this" in his tired dad voice. And Duke meekly responds with "we wanted more chairs at Jason's place"

And suddenly it all makes sense. Not once did Bruce wonder how the HELL Jason managed to lug a whole 60in TV and a full couch set on his own in one night. Of course, he had accomplices. Bruce just turns right around and goes right the hell back to his room to sleep. He'll deal with this in the morning.

[bleuteal]

Happy (severely belated) Valentine's Day!!

[nocek]

Continuing the theme of Wade being scared and horny opportunist. Also a very important question for a bonus gratuitous panel that will happen because Migs is a man of his (sleepy) word:

[proselles]

clinging to the sex warning for arcane like an angst with a happy ending tag on ao3

[casscainmainly]

Cass, Names, and the Black Bat Era

With a Black Bat mention in 2025 (read Batgirl (2024) #4!!), it seems as good a time as any to look back on one of Cass' most fleeting identities. We all know why Cass took up Batgirl and Orphan, but we don't get to see the thought process behind Black Bat. I'm going to consider why Cass might have chosen Black Bat as her name, and what it means for her relationship to Bruce and the Bat symbol.

This analysis will purely consider events from the characters' perspectives, ignoring authorial intent. There is like a negative percent chance any of the connections I make here were intended, and Black Bat probably was just a name they randomly picked. This is essentially me trying to make sense of the little Cass bits we get during the Batman Reborn era.

Background: Batgirl and Orphan

Growing up nameless, Cass associates names with personhood and autonomy. Batgirl was the first (and the most important), and a large part of Batgirl (2000) showed how Cass only thinks of herself as Batgirl.

Batgirl (2000) #7

"You need to relax, Cass--sorry--Batgirl." Barbara's 'sorry' indicates that Cass' identity is purely Batgirl, disliking any other name. (For a more in-depth exploration of this moment, see renaroo's meta!). This shows how it's not just the mantle, but the name - the actual word - that matters to Cass.

A very similar thing happens in Batman & Robin Eternal #26:

Once again, Cass is extremely particular about what people call her. And once again she rejects one identity in favour of another - she struggles with being more than one thing. Whatever identity she adopts, it contains her whole self.

Which is why when she loses herself, she becomes nameless:

Batgirl (2000) #73 / Red Robin #17

In the first panel, Cass has just 'killed' Shiva and forsaken Batgirl. "She thought she was a bat. But she came to find she wasn't that either." Without the bat, she becomes a girl "named Cain." While not technically nameless, Cain is just her father's last name - she has no first name of her own. This namelessness occurs again in Red Robin. After Bruce tells Cass to give Steph Batgirl, Cass is left without the bat again - and, again, she becomes nameless. Tim gives her a bat costume, asks her what she needs, and she says "to... just... be...".

If she takes up another name, she will become something - a name is not only identification, but transformation. When she has no idea who she is or who she wants to be (as seen in the end of Batgirl (2000) and Red Robin), she chooses namelessness.

The Gift

Cass remaining nameless not only shows her lack of identity, but her rejection of Bruce and the Batfamily.

Red Robin #17

Here, Tim says it doesn't matter what Cass calls herself, they'll always be family. Cass' answer is cryptic: "But family is not always home..." If we look at Cass' history, the only times she leaves her family is when their relationship becomes unbearable. She runs from David Cain because he makes her kill; she leaves Babs because she calls her stupid; she leaves Gotham the first time because of Steph's death; she goes to Hong Kong because Bruce makes her give away Batgirl. Family isn't home for Cass only when something awful happens.

For Cass, family and names have always been linked. In my gift post, I talked about how Batgirl was presented as a gift, and how Babs says gifts are things that make you "feel[...] not alone" (Azrael: Agent of the Bat #61). Batgirl, a gift, makes Cass feel "not alone." The mantle represents her connection to the Batfamily.

In fact, Red Robin parallels the original gifting of the Batgirl suit:

Legends of the Dark Knight #120 / Red Robin #17

Tim explicitly links the gift of the Bat symbol to family: "the...family... has settled down. I thought maybe... it was time to make it all official." (This also somewhat parallels Bruce's adoption of Cass, which Tim was also there for). But Cass doesn't accept the gift this time, telling Tim that Steph is already Batgirl, and that 'family isn't always home'. She keeps the suit, but the ambivalence in her response shows her ambivalence to her family.

Batgirl and Orphan are both familial names, one linked to the Bats, one linked to David Cain. Names to Cass represent both her own identity and her relationship to other people. When Batman took Batgirl away, he was essentially revoking her place in the family (Batman R.I.P happens right after her adoption too). Though we never explicitly get Cass' feelings, her hesitance at Tim's gift says a lot.

What Was Tim's Gift Anyway?

When Tim first sees Cass, he thinks to himself:

Red Robin #17

This is a great insight into what Tim was actually offering. The first thought reveals that Tim wasn't suggesting Cass be Batgirl again, which Cass assumed. He knows Cass doesn't want to be "who she was" - he thinks she's being true to what "she wanted to become."

What does he think Cass wants to become?

Batgirl (2000) #59

In Robin/Batgirl: Fresh Blood, Cass tells Tim the "the only thing" she's ever wanted was to be Batman. This is the only thing she wants - when Tim says she's being 'true to what she wanted to become', it's likely he's thinking of this conversation. So when Tim offers the batsuit, he's offering the bat mantle. He's offering what she always wanted to be: Batman.

But Cass' conception of Batman is clearly tied to Bruce ("take over for him when he's... done"), which in turn ties the concept of Batman to Gotham. Cass does become the Bat of Hong Kong, but she doesn't take the Batman name (which she totally could, since Bruce and Dick are sharing the name; or she could be 'the bat' or whatever).

Instead, she chooses Black Bat. Both Batgirl and Orphan are taken from other people, so this is strikingly the only name Cass invented (even Kasumi was probably not her invention? It was a disguise anyway). But was Black Bat actually Cass' invention?

Tai'Darshan All Along

Batgirl (2000) #40

Black Bat is also taken from someone - from Cass' first canon love interest, the one and only Tai'Darshan. I seriously don't think DC knew they were taking the name from him, but they did and that means Tai is extremely important to understanding Cass' Black Bat era.

Because Tai doesn't just represent teenage hormones. Like Lady Shiva, Tai'Darshan was a foil to Batman, someone who opposed him in almost every aspect. He is Cass' first proper rebellion, kickstarting the downfall of Cass and Bruce's relationship in Horrocks' run; he also died because of Bruce's interference, something that Bruce himself thinks is the reason Cass doesn't trust him anymore.

Batgirl (2000) #47

Though Bruce and Cass make up in #50, there is something permanently secretive about Black Wind and Cass' relationship. Bruce says "she won't tell me what" happened, and Tai's last conversation with Cass is about secrets:

Batgirl (2000) #44

Tai'Darshan represents Cass' secret side, a side "buried" from everyone (particularly Bruce). Tai's reference to Cass' "real name" is poignant - in a way, he was the first person who liked Cass for Cass, who asked her to take off her mask and admired her face underneath. He never knew who she really was, but he loved her anyway. The 'bat' in Black Bat doesn't refer to Bruce, but to Cass. It makes sense that at a time of complete identity loss - after giving up Batgirl at Bruce's orders - Cass would turn to a nickname from someone who caused her falling out with Bruce, who represents secrets, rebellion, and a self defined outside of Batman.

Black Bat

Gates of Gotham #4

I wrote elsewhere about how Gates of Gotham, and this conversation with Dick in particular, is Cass rebelling against Bruce's (and DC's) decision to boot her from Gotham. In GoG #5, she tells Tim she's staying. Black Bat as a mantle is not really Cass becoming 'the Bat' of any place - it's something different, something new. It's a reconfiguration of the Bat symbol as something that's hers.

I think Tim bookending this Black Bat experience is important, too. He gives her the Bat symbol in Hong Kong - she comes back to Gotham to tell him she's returning permanently. Black Bat and Red Robin are syntactically similar, and Black Bat is very similar to one of Tim's name suggestions ("Black Robin"). For Tim, Red Robin was punishment made into redemption; he took the name from Jason and made it his own. Black Bat, in its own way, is Cass doing the same. By taking a nickname from Tai'Darshan, she is using the bat name/symbol without attaching it to Bruce; in fact, the memory of Tai is against Bruce. She's taking back the symbol that means so much to her and making it her own.

Conclusion

This was honestly a big excuse to remind people that Black Bat comes from Tai'Darshan. As one of 4 Tai fans on this website, I just think his role in Cass' life is really interesting and underappreciated! His storyline may be awful in every way, but I'll always have a soft spot for him as a character.

Also I was writing this before Batgirl (2024) #4 came out and it does somewhat complicate this reading. Shiva is implying that Black Bat, like Orphan (and Kasumi) are identities that Cass affects, that she's "aspiring to be somebody else". I don't think Shiva is being quite fair - Orphan, for instance, is as much in defiance of David Cain as it is an homage to him. But it's interesting that even when Cass is constructing her own identity, she consistently defaults to using other people's names. In that way Shiva is right - for Cass, names are gifts, so she never tries to name herself. She also, even in this reading, clings to the image of the bat. I'm highly interested where Brombal's investigation into Cass' identity will take her, especially in regards to superhero and legacy mantles.

[theythemmer]

save me tattooed dan save me

(non tattooed version bc Arms and also this entire piece was inspired by this tweet x so i should probs make the top easier to see)

[mamawasatesttube]

the timkon fans who shit on bart are annoying, the konbart fans who shit on tim are annoying, and i don't actually know if there are timbart fans who shit on kon, but i sure hope not, because they'd be annoying. the three of them are a set!!! do NOT separate. red tornado literally assigned them one shared brain cell. what is not clickign

[lifemod17]

"I love you too, don't you ever forget that"

🎥: thisphantomlife | x

Riverstage, Brisbane || 11/18/2024

[khattikeri]

it bugs me when people treat lan wangji like a generic yaoi seme (i.e. filthy rich, selfish, arrogantly dismissive and unsatisfied, lords his position over those weaker or poorer, near-universal advantages over others, etc.

lan wangji IS way more privileged than wei wuxian, but lan xichen and the lan elders have FAR more power, control, and political advantage over him. lan wangji single-handedly physically fought 33 members of his own family to protect the man he loved, and they whipped him to near death for it. they forcibly imprisoned ("secluded") him and took advantage of his bedridden state to join the other clans in ambushing and assassinating wei wuxian.

my point is, he's not a stereotypical arrogant jerk with unending influence over others. if anything, being a dom top in bed isn't an expression of power for lan wangji, but an expression of freedom. he can be true to himself, his love, and his desires without being held back by his family and society's politics.

[itsnotacostume]

we as a fandom do not talk about this scene enough. what the fuck is this. why did he feel the need to install this? so he could stare at his boybestfriend all day without having to get up?

[legobiwan]

Apropos of nothing, here's my personal headcanon in regards to Mario and Luigi's surname.

Now, it's been generally announced and accepted that the brothers' last name is "Mario," shackling them with the somewhat awkward full names of "Mario Mario" and "Luigi Mario." My take on this is that the family's original last name was "Marianetti" (likely coming from the more common "Marinetti"). This name was changed to "Marionetti" when the boys' grandmother came over from Italy. (A common occurrence in record keeping at immigration at the time. Someone probably had bad handwriting and smudged a pencil stroke somewhere. It happened in my family for sure).

In Brooklyn, their father went by the last name "Marionetti," which ended up shortened to just "Mario," as oftentimes he would be addressed by his surname only. (Think, "Hey, Mario! Get over here!" as opposed to "Hey, Marionetti! Get over here!")

So, the boys are born and get their names. (Their father's middle name was Mario, and so our Mario, being the oldest, inherits his father's middle name as his first name. Luigi's name maybe comes from the middle name of some uncle who is long out of the picture).

So we have "Mario Marionetti" and "Luigi Marionetti." Which, their surname being a mouthful, gets shortened to "Mario" more often than not, just like their father. And thus we end up with "Mario Mario" and "Luigi Mario," culminating in the "Mario Brothers."

[4bsurdcreature]

Narrative Foils

Based off of This Post

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

Something that’s always missing whenever people talk about Lyanna and the Kingsguard at the Tower of Joy is that these things should always circle back to Jon Snow. He’s our main character here. Rhaegar and Lyanna, as well as the Kingsguard, are all dead. They were dead before this story began. This tiny section of text is meant to give color to Jon — who is alive, and whose story is currently unfolding. The events at the Tower of Joy, told entirely through Ned’s fever dream for a reason, essentially serve as one thing: fantasy protagonist myth building 101. Three wise men, a legendary magical sword, some of the greatest knights of an era, a dying queen lady, the end of an age, a dead prince, a dead king, and then here comes a soon to be completely orphaned prince whose life hangs on the balance and whose survival depends on the compassion of one lord and his wizard friend. GRRM is literally retelling King Arthur’s backstory through Jon. This whole thing is one giant literary allusion to Uther and Igraine and the boy king Arthur, to Lancelot and his Joyous Guard, to Guinevere, and to tragic romances. It reads as an ode to Arthurian fantasy and is meant to backdrop the main protagonist’s fantastical origins. The Kingsguard are there to play into that. Their presence at the Tower, in that moment, was never about Lyanna; not solely, anyway. Their presence is tied to Rhaegar’s last surviving male child, and the language used suggests that they had chosen their king, for better or worse. Any discussion surrounding the Kingsguard’s presence at the Tower that focuses on anyone but Jon completely misses the point imo.

[hannahbarberra162]

Heat Transfer, Chapter 5

MDNI, on Ao3

The other chapters

Ace POV

Ace squinted up at the overhead sun to realize it had become afternoon. Hours passed as if they were minutes and slipped away from him as it often happened while he worked. His stomach rumbled in protest of being forgotten so he headed to the galley to try and sneak some bites of dinner before it was ready. He had about a one in three chance of getting away with it if Thatch was in the kitchen but it would be worth the effort if he could get something for…

Ace’s train of thought trailed off as he realized he hadn’t seen Baby in hours. She wasn’t on the deck sunning herself and he didn’t see her wrapped around Pop’s shoulders. He hoped she wasn’t swimming alone because Namur said he’d let Ace know if you went together. Ace didn’t think you’d slip away to swim by herself, she’d learned not to do that. She wouldn’t be with Fossa since he was off on a day mission and left early that morning. So where could she be?

Ace walked briskly to search for you and passed Marco along his way to the door leading to the kitchens. The doctor was reading and marking some papers but looked up when he saw Ace.

“Oh, Ace. I was able to synthesize the antidote to Baby’s venom based on the recipe from that book, so we’re all set yoi. It should work but I’d prefer if we didn’t have to test it out,” the Commander said wryly. Ace furrowed his brow and reached out to stop his brother from walking any further.

“What do you mean you synthesized it?” Ace questioned while pushing his hat off his head to his back.

“It’s a complex process but it’s actually quite interesting yoi. First I collected her venom and put it in the centrifuge - ” Marco started with a smile, surprised Ace was interested in the science behind the antidote.

“No, Marco. Like, what do you mean you took her venom,” Ace said while crossing his arms across his chest. Marco blinked at his brother in confusion.

“Just what I said, I took her venom. I put her in the crate afterward, she’s still in there -” Marco stopped talking as Ace stared at him incredulously.

“Marco, what the fuck?” the younger man demanded. Marco cocked an eyebrow at Ace, unfamiliar with the attitude being directed his way. 

“What do you mean? I told you I was going to take her venom so I did yoi. Next time I’ll ask your permission,” Marco huffed before turning to leave.

“No, you don’t need my permission. You need hers,” Ace said, grabbing Marco by the arm. It wasn’t a punch or even a push but the aggressive movement had its intended effect. Marco pulled himself from slouching to his full height, towering over Ace. Ace refused to be intimidated by him and didn’t budge an inch when he met Marco’s hard stare. He could only imagine how scared Baby had felt being cornered by Marco and locked away for hours in his cabin.

“No, I don’t. I’m in charge -”

“You don’t outrank me, it’s not your call! You can’t just do that to her!” Ace yelled at Marco, throwing his hands wide in anger when he released the doctor’s arm.

“It’s true I don’t yoi. But I am responsible for the safety of the crew and that doesn’t include letting sea snakes roam freely about the ship. She already bit Thatch -”

“She was scared! She didn’t -”

“Twice. No one can communicate with her, she doesn’t speak any human language. She’s feral and has been in the wild for years. She’s basically your pet -”

“She’s not a pet! She’s a person!” Ace’s voice grew increasingly louder as he continued to yell, bringing ever more attention to the row he was having with Marco.

“She’s not, she’s not even human,” Marco said with finality, uninterested in arguing with Ace any longer. 

“Am I not a person Marco?” Namur asked calmly from the side of the deck. Marco inhaled deeply as he saw the crew gathered around like the gossip mongers they were. Pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, Marco sighed again.

“That’s not what I meant yoi. Of course, you’re a person, Namur. You’re my brother. I’m just saying that Baby isn’t the same, she’s -”

“Sea Naga are known to have their own society, speak and write their own language, craft and use tools, and are capable of interacting with the outside world. She’s learning words and using them correctly at an incredible rate. Baby has learned the norms of the ship and crew, including non-lethal combat for entertainment. How is she not a person? How is she different from me?” Namur continued calmly, his words casually skewering Marco on the spot. Ace was able to release a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as a sense of relief washed over him. He wasn’t good at arguing or getting his words right but Namur had said everything he had been thinking. Baby wasn’t some animal like Stefan who needed to be taken care of - she was clearly capable of learning and independent thinking. The more time he spent with her the more obvious it became that she wasn’t a child but a grown adult Sea Naga. She was on the smaller side but he wasn’t one to talk. He was only one hundred and eighty five centimeters and his father was two hundred and seventy five centimeters, Luffy was even shorter than Ace, and Gramps was the tallest at two hundred and eighty seven centimeters. Sometimes things just worked out that way.

“I’m not getting into a semantic argument. Until she can communicate, she can’t be alone on the ship. It’s not safe for anyone,” Marco said with a huff, before shifting into his phoenix form and taking off into the sky. They must have really bothered him since Marco only did that when he was too annoyed to talk to anyone. The papers he had been studying before the argument wafted in the wind and Ace spent a few moments collecting them. He’d return them to Marco once they’d both cooled down a little.

“Thanks for helping,” Ace said, clapping Namur on the shoulder while holding the stack of papers in the other hand. The fishman shrugged and smiled in return. 

“Marco doesn’t mean it. He gets up his own ass about safety and keeping the crew from harm. He’ll come around,” Namur said before taking his leave from Ace. Ace wasn’t so sure - there was something between Marco and Baby and he wanted to get to the bottom of it. 

Ace quickly headed to his room, already anticipating her being upset before he opened the door. Turning the handle and pushing the door open revealed a sad looking Baby curled up in the furthest corner of the locked crate. There was some jerky at the front of the crate that hadn’t been touched - probably from Marco. Walking swiftly over to the opposing wall, he took the keys off the hook and unlocked the crate. She watched him with mournful eyes but didn’t exit the crate like Ace had hoped. 

“Baby, come out,” Ace’s voice was as soft as he could make it while he pleaded with her, holding his arms wide open. Baby looked around while flicking her tongue, likely trying to sense if Marco was around. She may have smelled him on Ace or the papers still in his hand because she shook her head with a small movement and stayed where she was. Ace’s heart was as broken as Baby’s spirit - he had to fix the situation somehow. Looking around, he saw a pencil on the top of his desk and grabbed it. He pushed his way into the crate to join a very surprised Baby.

Sitting cross legged in the small crate, Ace was using Baby’s curled body as a kind of living lounger. Baby tried to move backwards to maintain more space between them but the close quarters of the crate didn’t allow for it. Sighing, she shifted her long tail until it was wrapped around Ace’s body and he heated himself warmer in response. He was now sitting with his back against her torso while she leaned down, her head resting on his shoulder. 

Ace drew a rough stick figure drawing on the back of one of Marco’s papers using the pencil. Drawing wasn’t his strong suit but he thought it was passable enough to understand the meaning. Pointing to it, he said his name and wrote it above the figure. Baby watched as he then drew a stick person with a tail instead of legs. 

“Baby,” he said while pointing to the sea naga figure. She nodded and gently plucked the pencil from his hands. In the featureless circle of the naga face, she drew a frown. Baby continued to draw as she deftly drew a human figure with wings and bird feet, which Ace figured was Marco.

“Marco,” Ace said, pointing to the winged figure. She was much better than Ace at drawing which was yet another skill highlighting her intelligence.

“Marco,” Baby repeated solemnly. Flipping to the next page, she then drew Marco picking up the sea naga in his talons with his mouth open. She drew large pointy teeth in Marco’s face and his tongue hanging out like she was a meal. Ah, So Marco had been right - you thought Marco was going to eat you. As he turned around, Ace looked at her furrowed brow and worried eyes.

“No, no. Marco’s not going to eat you,” Ace tried explaining. He was thinking of a way to explain what Marco was when he felt her nuzzling into the crook of his neck. He reached behind and rubbed Baby’s head, his fingers working in slow circles to comfort her further.

Baby’s POV

You were pleased you finally found a way to communicate your fears to Ace as he pressed his body close to yours in the cage. You had been taken aback at him crawling in with you as you didn’t think the jailer usually joined the prisoners. But you ended up welcoming his presence with open arms and an unwrapped tail like always. He was deliciously warm, kept you well fed, and had some kind of positive feelings toward you. When he smiled at you a strange sensation hit your chest but you couldn’t identify what it was. It was like being double happy but only because of him. Maybe you were getting sick - though your Naga side should have taken care of any human ailments. 

Either way, you put your face closer to his neck, enjoying the warmth and smell of his skin. He reached back and pet you but in a different way than before. It made you want to lean into his hand and maybe even put your arms around him. Despite his strange uniform skin tone, short stubby tongue, useless ears, and dull teeth, he was pleasant looking. Different and unusual but overall rather easy on the eyes. You’d mull over his positive qualities later, right now you were busy trying to express yourself to him.

He kept repeating the phrase “Marco no eat Baby” over and over. You were skeptical but maybe Ace could protect you from the Har - Marco. Marco was clearly in a position of leadership in some capacity but Ace was too, judging by how the other humans treated him. You weren’t sure of the exact power dynamic between them but Ace might be able to help you. You humphed but didn’t say anything further about the Harpy.

Another idea popped into your head to try and explain your situation to Ace. Flipping to another blank paper, you drew three snake like figures and the one he had used for you previously. Above your sister’s figures, you drew two more Sea Naga while above your own you drew one Sea Naga and one human. 

“Brothers,” you said while pointing to the crude images of your sisters. You didn’t really know what the word for sisters was in human but you’d heard the crew calling each other something you thought was similar. You suspected it was in the general vicinity of the word you wanted and Ace studied the drawing as you continued your attempt to explain your parentage. 

“Brothers, Pops,” you tried to explain using the few words you’d heard on the deck. You wanted to tell him that you were half human, maybe the Harpy wouldn’t want you then if it knew you weren’t going to get much bigger.

“Baby,” you said, pointing to your own figure. “Pops,” you said pointing to the human above you. You didn’t know the words for sire and mother but Ace seemed to be understanding you with the words you knew. He was talking to you and asking you questions probably related to your human side. Even if you had been able to understand him you didn’t have any answers for him. You didn’t know who your sire was and you had never met your mother. All you knew were your sisters and…you should probably warn Ace they’d want to find you. 

“Brothers, Baby,” you said, pointing to the Sea Naga again. He looked at you with confusion written across his speckled face as he spoke to you, using your name and “brothers.” It was frustrating not being able to express yourself freely; you wanted to learn more human language so you could finally tell Ace what you wanted to say. You groaned and this time you did wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your front closer to his back. Whatever, you’d have to learn more human and then you’d be able to tell him what you needed.

Ace put his hands on your forearms in a show of comfort. You hadn’t had much physical contact over the course of your life, your sisters only touched you when you asked so you cherished the feeling of spontaneous touch. You didn’t want the moment to end but your wish was denied when Ace gently pried the papers from your hand and folded them up. He crawled out of the cage before he extended his hand to you once again. This time you did leave the cage even as the scent of the Har - Marco -  lingered in the air. You followed Ace out of the room and back onto the top of the ship where you could enjoy the afternoon sunshine.

Your stomach’s grumbling told you that some time had passed since Marco had put you in the cage. You didn’t trust the meat that he’d left in your cage in case it was poisoned. Flicking your tongue out to taste the air you sought the scent of the Meatman and left Ace to talk with the other humans. In the open air, it was difficult to catch some weaker scents but you found his tantalizing odor. After slithering over to him you waited expectantly as he finished serving Pops. He inclined his head as you blinked up at him. He pulled his arms closer to his body but gave you a bright smile.

“Er, hi Baby!” he said, holding a platter under his arm. 

“Hi. Eat meat? Eat egg? Eat fisssh?” you asked with a happy hiss, thumping the tip of your tail against the deck. You’d be more than happy to go fishing for him if he cooked the food for you. 

“Oh, you’re hungry! Not a problem, I’ll get you something. Come with me,” he said, gesturing for you to follow him. Ace’s head perked up as he heard Meatman talk and started following you. The cook was annoyed and yelled something you didn’t understand at Ace but Ace laughed and continued trailing behind you. Ace’s laugh made you have that funny feeling twist your stomach again but this time you wished you had been the one to make him laugh. Curious. 

Ace said something to Meatman after pointing at you with his thumb. The cook turned around and gave you another smile. 

“Thatch,” he said, pointing to himself. 

“Sssash,” you said, trying to repeat the name. “Sssaash. Ssash. Sash,” you tried a few times but got no closer to the way he’d said it. “Sash,” you repeated for the final time. He smiled at you encouragingly like he’d still feed you even if you couldn’t say his name right.

“Great job, Baby!” Thatch exclaimed, clapping you on the shoulder. This human was more smiley and touchy than any other you’d met but you’d tolerate it for more eggs.

A half hour and many shanks of meat later, you and Ace were snoozing in a pile in the shade of the deck. The speed at which Ace ate was impressive especially because he couldn’t unhinge his jaw and devour food whole like you could. He’d eaten more than you and had fallen asleep over his plate towards the end of the meal. Your head nodded downwards too as you felt the familiar drowsiness that followed a good meal creep over you . On your island, you preferred to eat in your cave so that if you fell asleep you were protected.

A bright flash of light like a lightning strike and Thatch’s loud laugh startled you awake suddenly. You reared back instantly, your mouth already open to attack whatever predator was at hand. Thatch got into a defensive position but you held back when you saw it was just a snail in his hands. You grumbled and dragged the sleeping Ace away from the flash back outside into the open air as Thatch laughed again. He was lucky his food was so tasty otherwise you would risk Marco’s ire again to bite him again.

Once on the deck you and Ace continued to snooze for a while as you soaked up his heat along with the afternoon sun. Ace woke with a start and roused you in the process. He blinked rapidly as he took stock of his situation but didn’t seem surprised he’d ended up on the deck outside. It wasn’t good that he fell asleep immediately after eating, you thought. Unlike you, he didn’t seem to wake up easily which you knew because you’d dropped him a few times while lugging him to the deck. If he was in a dangerous place it would leave him vulnerable as you found yourself curling around him protectively at the thought. He might be a strange fire human but you didn’t want him hurt. He yawned and stretched before laying his arms across your tail like you were a chair.

“Whassup Baby? I fell asleep huh,” he asked, his eyes still half lidded and his voice somehow deeper. The scratchy sound made an odd tingle erupt in your chest and you quelled the urge to curl around him even further. 

“Swim?” you asked hopefully, using the word Namur had taught you the previous day. Ace rubbed his chin in thought. He did some kind of work during the days but you were eager to go swimming again. You thumped the end of your tail repeatedly on the wood because of your excitement, your ears twitching in anticipation. Ace smiled lazily at you and you knew you’d won him over.

“Let’s go,” he said.

Ace’s POV

Ace practically flew Striker through the water while Baby followed at a fast clip. She was carrying a metal spear that Fossa had given her, the aerodynamic shape allowing her to bring it along with ease. Ace had been surprised by the gift from Fossa, the large Commander grunting and handing the spear to Baby without a word after he’d returned from his short mission. Her eyes went wide as she took the spear from Fossa, her forked tongue flicking faster than he’d ever seen it. She had threw it from hand to hand, testing out the weight and balance of the weapon. It reminded Ace of the pointed sticks in her cave but he hadn’t thought to bring any. She slithered up to Fossa’s shoulders, hugging his huge head to her chest.

“Uh, do you think we should give her some lessons or -” Ace’s question was cut off as Baby threw the spear into the ocean from Fossa’s shoulders, stabbing a cloud fish through its head. Fossa grunted again and pat Baby on her head. Baby nipped at him affectionately before climbing down and heading towards the railing. 

“Go swim?” Baby asked, her eyes trained only on the fish flopping and floundering in the water.

“Yeah, go swim,” Ace said with a dismissive wave. Ace turned to Fossa, who was watching Baby jump off the railing and into the water while relighting his cigar. He was feeling the sting of jealousy but he reigned his feelings in. Fossa was being thoughtful and sweet and it was refreshing after so many years of a gruff and distant attitude. 

“How’d you know she could use a spear?” Ace asked. He would have made her one himself if he had known she could wield it. 

“Cap’n’s not the only one who saw that Naga years ago. That’s the weapon she had with ‘er. ‘S how I got my scar,” he said, pointing to the jagged line in his forehead. Ace soaked up the information the Commander had freely shared. It had been unknown how he got it and newer recruits were too afraid to ask. Now Ace would have something up his sleeve for family trivia night competitions. 

Baby’s hopeful wide eyes and thumping little tail had won Ace over quickly as he forgot about the mountains of paperwork he had to complete. She was already taking her spear out of the fish and twirling the staff around happily in the sea. He scrambled down to Striker, ready to have some fun with his Baby.

Baby’s POV

The spear Fossa had made you was absolutely perfect. It wasn’t made from an underwater volcano like they traditionally were, but the staff was almost an exact replica of the ones your sisters wielded. It made you feel powerful, like a warrior of the sea, even if you were just a miniature version of one. You swam in the ocean as Ace used his fire-boat to sail on top of the water. It was a shame he couldn’t swim, you wished he could view the beauty of the ocean as it was meant to be seen. Regardless it was fun popping up now and again, bringing him fish for Thatch to cook later or small items you’d found floating in the water. 

You were having a great time when the fire-boat stilled on the surface of the sea. Curious, you breached and saw Ace monitoring something on the horizon. He beckoned you over to his little boat and you hung your arms over the side of the ship. 

“Marines,” he told you, pointing to the ship. “Bad,” he continued. He was standing with one leg up on the seat of the ship, his fist flickering with flames. Oh, you thought, there was going to be a fight. Your blood started pumping as you hissed with excitement, your tail slapping the water.

“Baby go home,” Ace said, still keeping his eyes fixed on the ships in the distance. You snorted, figuring “home” meant the boat.

“Baby fight,” you replied, twirling your spear above the water. Even though you were on the small side, you were a Sea Naga at heart. You loved hunting, fighting, and killing plus based on the play fighting you did with the pirates you found that most humans weren’t very strong. Maybe some were like Ace but if you stayed in the water they wouldn’t be able to get to you. No human could compete with a Sea Naga in their element, you knew that for a fact. Ace wavered like before but the growing flames on his hand told you his decision.

“Baby strong. Baby fight,” you continued. He couldn’t actually make you go back home even if he wanted to but you also didn’t want him to worry about you during the fight. Based on the size of the ships they had fewer people than the Whale but you weren’t sure how many humans that would be. 

“Baby fight. Stay in water,” Ace finally agreed as he mimicked your broken way of communicating. He gave a wicked smile, mirroring the kind your sisters would have when they recounted an excellent battle. 

Ace POV

Normally he wouldn’t have let Baby get anywhere near a battle but…he’d let you convince him yet again. He’d heard about these three Marine ships, they’d sacked one of the subordinate Whitebeard islands close to the border a few months back. They would have to be dealt with one way or another, it might as well be here and now. He was itching for a fight - he wanted to show her that he was a capable protector. Besides, if Baby got scared or hurt she could go underwater and avoid combat until the fight was over. Ace thought it was a pretty good plan as he kicked Striker into high gear heading directly towards the Marine ships. 

Baby was pumped for battle too, outpacing Striker even as he made the boat go faster and faster. Ace watched as she swam gracefully in the water, like a lithe dancer soaring through the air. Reaching the ships in record time, Ace pulled Striker up short creating a spray of water in front of him. You dove deeper under the water and circled his boat, taking cues from him. 

“FIRE FIST ACE - SURRENDER NOW OR PREPARE FOR BATTLE,” one of the ships boomed out from their megaphone snail. Ace’s answer was only a chuckle as he tipped his hat back with one finger, hoping he looked cool in front of Baby. Baby was mildly interested in the ships as she watched them load their cannons.

“HIKEN!” Ace yelled while pushing his fist forward as a pillar of fire shot from his arm. The cannon of fire hit dead center in the middle of the nearest ship. As flames decimated the wood ship in front of them with screams punctuating the sound of the ship cracking apart in the middle, Ace happened to catch Baby’s reaction . Her eyes were the widest he’d ever seen with her long ears pointing down, and her mouth hanging open. She looked up at him from the water, still agog, so he gave her a finger gun. 

“Ace strong,” Baby remarked as she continued treading water and watching the utter destruction with admiration.  

“Heh, I know a thing or two,” Ace replied, before remembering you wouldn’t understand what he was saying. “Baby, go!” Ace said, pointing towards the ships. You let out a loud hiss, the high reverberation making goosebumps rise over his flesh. It reminded him of the sound a snake made when striking, already too late to avoid its attack. You dove under the water and swam rapidly towards the Marines who had fallen into the water off the sinking ship.

Unfortunately the battle wasn’t very satisfying. All the ships were destroyed in under ten minutes between his fire power and Baby doing whatever it was she did. Ace wasn’t sure exactly what she was up to but there was a lot of screaming coming from the water close to the ships. Marine ships were designed to fight against other large ships, not individual pirates. Most of the attacks they utilized were useless against an agile and powerful individual. Ace was able to destroy their ships with ease, giving the low ranking Marines time to abandon ship while those who were able to directly fight Ace fired guns and other useless weapons. Ace felt a little bad for the cannon-fodder Marines who hadn’t even been told that they would need haki to hurt his physical form. He didn’t want to kill more people than he had to so he didn’t attack the lifeboats as they paddled away from the wreckage.

Ace wanted to leave the scene of the battle but he had to find Baby before he could leave otherwise she wouldn’t find her way back to the Moby. He pushed Striker closer towards the decimated Marine ships where the screaming was the loudest. The water near the ships was tinged red with blood, a sight to which Ace had unfortunately become accustomed. 

“SHE’S BACK! THE SEA DEMON IS BACK!” one Marine shrieked, flailing in the water as the water churned around them. Sea demon? Maybe they’d never seen a Sea Naga before, but Baby wasn’t a demon. 

“Baby! Baby!” Ace called out as he searched the dark water. As he looked for any signs of Baby, a leg floated by, looking like it had been torn from the hip socket. Ace winced as more body parts drifted by while the screams of the dying sounded in the air. He was caught off guard when she suddenly pulled herself from the water to a sitting position on the side of the boat. Her hair was matted with blood as she happily chewed on the human entrails caught in her claws, the guts spilling down her front.

“B-baby, what the fuck?” Ace asked in a hushed voice and Baby looked at him with confusion.

“Baby eat meat?” she countered in an uncertain tone. Looking down at the intestines in her hands, she held out a portion to Ace.

“Ace eat meat?” she asked politely.

“Uh, no.” Ace said, his mind in chaos from the macabre scene. Marines were swimming away as fast as they could, some with blood trailing behind them, some with paralyzed arms and legs from her venom. She pouted but didn’t put the guts down. She raised her hands to bring them to her already open mouth slowly like Stefan when he wanted to eat something he shouldn’t. 

“Baby, no,” Ace said with a firm tone as she was about to take another bite. Baby scowled but then perked up.

“Sash?” Baby asked with a sudden hope for cooked guts bleeding into her tone.

“No, Thatch won’t cook that. Drop it, Baby,” Ace replied, shaking his head and Baby’s pout deepened in response. 

“Fish,” you said, pointing to yourself. “Eat fish,” you said, pointing to Ace. You did have a good point, he thought, they did eat fish and you were half sea creature yourself. But no, he couldn’t give in with everything. You’d gotten to swim and fight, you weren’t going to get to eat humans too.

“No, Baby. Let’s go home,” Ace declared. Baby looked wistfully at the Marines fleeing from her presence and threw the guts in the water petulantly, grumbling to herself in her native tongue. He didn’t need to speak Sea Naga to know she was cursing him out under her breath. 

Typha POV

Typha had come to visit her baby sister bearing many gifts. She had a productive month at sea, taking many treasures and killing numerous beasts. Swimming up to the island, Typha called out for the Guppy as she had done so many times before. The little Guppy did not appear promptly which was quite unusual for her. Typha flicked her massive tongue through the air, catching the very faint smell of fire - and humans. Searching the shoreline, Typha found evidence of a fire and revelry with several bottles left behind. Someone had been here.

Typha’s anger grew to match the storm she was named after once she saw the empty cave. The humans had taken their sister, possibly killed her, and ransacked her home. Typha noted that some of the previous presents she had given Baby were missing, taken as trophies. Typha wanted to destroy the cave with a lash of her giant tail but restrained herself as a thought dawned on her. Perhaps Baby was still alive and needed rescuing due to her puny size and inferior strength. They would need to move quickly to find and save her from certain death. 

Typha swam away from the island towards the sister’s lair. Though they kept Baby on a summer island, the three sisters preferred a subterranean cave as their living space. She would alert Maela and Tsuna to the situation. The blood of the humans who dared touch their sister would spill.