#which is also something i get told a lot
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Conversation in our communication app
Chris: N., I'm hereby officially filing an application to allow communication between us again.
N., two days later: Approved.
*communication works again*
My head is an office I swear.
#personal posts#dissociative identity disorder#actually did#ego state disorder#our former former therapist used to ask for N.'s opinion on like#everything#and sometimes I forget that he is the Wise Part#like people often tell me I'm so wise and mature for my age and I'm like#me?????#i'm just a child with a credit card#but it's not just me in here lmao#and i admire how balanced N. and the other Zen Parts are#like barely anything can shake them#they're like rocks in the midst of a stormy ocean#which is also something i get told a lot#that i'm the calmest person someone ever met#and this too has me:#me???😭#but yeaj#some parts of me really are unshakable at their core and that's a strength#them: unshakable#me: constantly shaking (physically and mentally)
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me: finally accepting theres a good chance im autistic and starting to work up the courage to ask my parents to see if i could get a diagnoses but being scared to
my mom: do you ever think you have adhd? if you want to do a screening for add next time your at the doctors you can
me:
#for context im terrified of being the person who sees stuff online and diagnosis themselves and then is wrong#which is why it took me so long to accept im —probably— autistic (bc now i have done research and stuff for it)#and id see adhd things that were relatable but i felt i related more to the autism + self diagnosing both felt weird (for me not in general#but now like. my mom is willing to accept i might have add??#(there was a long talk in between her asking if i ever thought i had it and her saying i could get a screening where we both agreed that#—if i did have it— i didnt have the hyperactive part. hence the add vs adhd thing)#and now that kinda through off my plans because like. what if i do also had adhd. or something#so yeah small crisis woo#i need to actually look i to symptoms and stuff for adhd though#because im not saying anything til i know more about it and if i actually do have a lot of the things#but this also gives me a chance go write about the autism things as well bc i told my mom i would look into the adhd#so now i can hopefully find a way to bring that up#ive mentioned that autism is a spectrum recently which i didnt think she knew before#so progress i guess#wow long rant in the tags whoops#jasper’s posts#moots have some jaz lore i guess
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ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally
(+ cropped versions !)
#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#solum bufo#swag daniels#calliope petrichor#calder kilde#alexandrite#posts by me dot com#okay..... SECRET TAGS RAMBLE!#so basically this superstition is like ... i think a chinese/buddhist/taoist superstition?#ive taken some creative liberties with it... but its mostly accurate to how its been told to me?#but of course theres lots of variations! some more abt bad luck; some say to tie it on the doorknob#etc etc ... lots a variations#i was also rlly interested in the .... weird illogic? of the thing?#like the red attracts and repels spirits at the same time#so thats something i was thinking about with too. red is assocuated with both swag and alexandrite. which to me was kinda reflecting like#i think what murph said . swags place in the wild is in a way. an extension of what he learned from the network#mothership s inextractivle from sol and swags lives. they will always be held doen by it. thats the spirit that will follow them forever#that they choose to hold on too! as much pain as it brought ... some of the experience was worth it#and anyway. theres somethingwrong w me that the minute someone brought up this superstition my brain went#'ohhh just like sol!' < needs to touch grass moment#but i CANT BELIEVE. CALDWELL DID THE RED STRING. AND ITS LITERALLY A MOURNING RITUAL#caldwell keeps accodentally makig that frog ASIAN. to MEEEE!!!!!!#but. anyway. idk. ive always hced sol kept the piece of yarn and it makes me kinda .... what if y let the malicious spirits follow you.#and haunt you. what if its the closest you can get to keeping the person still around#and sol and swag obviously have so much about homes .... so!#(ok. weve reached the pt where maybe nobodys reading? so confession is this is sort of a well. ive just been doodling this comic everyday#after a wake. and it was sort of inspired after realising i was even a bit sad about it maybe. so. idk its about sol but also?#i guess the projection doesnt end at him being asian. hehe. is what i mean. LOL. okay secret tags over . buried lore. dont look here folks)
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Kristoph Gavin's black psyche-locks have remained unbroken for 17 slutty, slutty years.
#just had to look up when AJAA first came out and good god#ace attorney#kristoph gavin#i remember i once saw someone say that the only reason why people are interested in kristoph instead of other villains is bc he's pretty#and it's like no you dipshit the reason is bc he was shown to have black psyche-locks#which we were then told means a person has trauma so severe they've repressed it to the point they don't even know they have it#and then Capcom went [Tyler Cutebiker voice] never mind all that!!!#and just never brought it up ever again#(well the meaning behind the black psyche-locks came up in the next game but did Kristoph? no)#(and then the game after THAT was a shitshow so. sighs.)#anyway Kristoph was literally shown to have something more going on with him than just ''muahaha i'm evil >:)'' in canon#so that's why he's an interesting & compelling character to a lot of people#it's not OUR fault that capcom then decided to just let him rot#along with Apollo & Trucy's true parentage -- which has also remained a secret for 17 slutty slutty years#for FUCKsake Capcom when i get my fucking HANDS on you#(i will do nothing bc i don't want an assault & battery charge but i WILL scream SO loud from here in my house)
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hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare i’m from hong kong surprise#i haven’t seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off that’s why#and also i haven’t opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i haven’t been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i don’t think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near sogo. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#that’s just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard they’re really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i haven’t tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
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Being an extreme radfem/terf blog sounds miserable
#I think there are a lot of issues that should be discussed and having a blog focusing on that is very valid and good#but to constantly talk about how horrible being a woman is 24/7#like huh maybe the reason some people don’t want to be women is because they are told how horrible of an experience it is#and that we are doomed to a painful existence and being socially tortured by men#which ok is not completely untrue there is a lot of women’s rights issues everywhere#but doesn’t it get too draining at some point?#the most miserable I’ve been about existing was taking in nothing but that#and don’t get me started on their weirdness about trans stuff#at least there’s like one or two occasional posts about something positive about women#like an important figure and such#but it’s really just a depression hole#or at least it feels like it#I note extreme since radical feminism could be more than just getting mad about trans people and kink#and also I don’t want to incur their wrath lol
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i have... ✨Danyal Al Ghul Headcanons✨ but specifically for my yaelokre danyal oneshot
There's also the tumblr post here but I recommend the link in the title because its the ao3 version, and that one is edited and has some stuff in it that's not in the tumblr post, and will be the version I'm using.
So for summary: this Danyal is also from a Demon Siblings Au where Danny is five years older than Damian. However, things turned out a bit differently, and Danny and Damian had a fantastic relationship with one another. Danny loved music and regularly came up with songs to sing to Damian with. Specifically the folk band Yaelokre's EP "Hayfields" (seriously go fucking listen to it its sooo good. Harpy Hare is the second song but its my favorite. Special shoutout to @gascansposts for introducing the band to me)
He falls off a train when he's twelve and Damian is seven while the two of them and Talia are on mission. He ends up with magically induced amnesia and wakes up in Arkansas while the Fentons are on their yearly Divorce-iversary visit to Aunt Alica, and since he can only remember his name, he ends up being taken into their care.
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Yaelokre Danny has the same facial scar as Things in Threes Danyal, since he was initially another version of him where things turned out better. I'm debating on whether or not I should take it away however, and give him a different scar (maybe from when he fell off the train?), just because the scar is a pretty key identifier for Ti3 Danyal.
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Danny frequently visits Aunt Alicia in Arkansas! Well, only after he gets settled in and stuff. He doesn't really like the city that much and prefers the countryside where Alicia lives. I know she lives in a cabin but I'm changing it to a farm, so she puts Danny to work and gets him to help her.
I don't want to confine his hobbies to only being star stuff, because people tend to have more than one hobby and I feel like it reduces him to one-dimensionality, so he likes to garden, and learns guitar. His room becomes filled with plants, and he turns their roof into a rooftop greenhouse right below to OPS Center.
He has a complex relationship with the weapons from his past, but he's not... like... appalled by it? When he finds his weapons in the Fenton attic all he thinks is that they're his weapons, and he starts carrying a knife on him afterwards. Essentially he becomes fascinated with weaponry because its one of the few physical ties he has to his past, and while he's not training like he is in the League, he allows his strong muscle memory to guide him through his katas.
Danny likes climbing things. This causes Problems For Everyone Else.
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Danny was not the "kinder Al Ghul" in the League. His kindness extended to his brother and family, and that's it. To everyone else he had high expectations out of them, and the pride you'd expect from the grandson of Ra's Al Ghul and trained by its top members. While he wasn't like, unnecessarily cruel or anything, he wasn't merciful either.
This transfers post-train fall as him coming off as no-nonsense and unforgiving. He's not fond of the idea of giving people second chances, and is skeptical of the idea. He's disgusted by incompetency and views it as an unforgivable offense, especially if he thinks that the person should know better, although he's not sure why. Some egocentrism for the soul.
He doesn't like being touched by anyone who isn't family, and gets irritated when anyone grabs him or holds onto him for extended amounts of time. Dash has gotten hit so many times. With Jack Fenton's tendency for abrupt physical affection, it doesn't make it any better. I'd argue it'd make it worse because Danny doesn't want to be touched more often than not.
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Danyal had a red scarf in the League that he wore on his last mission, it came off before he fell off and caught itself on the roof. Damian still has it and took it with him to Wayne Manor. He's got it locked in his room and takes it out when he's alone and missing Danny the most. One time he forgot to put it away before leaving his room, and Dick was visiting the manor for something and found it. Damian found him holding it and freaked out.
Dick could only say "I've never seen you wear this, Damian, this is really pretty--" before Damian shoved him to the floor and stole it out of his hands, before screaming at him; "Don't touch this! You don't ever touch this! This is mine! You hear me!?"
It caused such a commotion that the rest of the family present came to see what the fuss was about, and Damian kicked them all out of his room. Dick is the one brother Damian's the closest with, so the fact he reacted so strongly shocked them all.
This is likely what leads to the "Danyal" conversation.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#yaelokre danny#yaelokre danyal al ghul#the yaelokre danny post didn't really go into him interacting with other people but i'm trying to figure out his personality post amnesia#just know this: he's not canon danny. im spitefully refusing to make him a Cookie Cutter of canon danny because the idea pisses me off lmao#he's complex and confused and morally gray even with the amnesia bc memories aren't stored in one part of the brain they're stored#in different parts depending on the memory and muscle memory exists and danny might not actively remember the things that shaped him but hi#body does. and somewhere deep in his mind so does his brain. his memories weren't destroyed theyre locked away in a place where his active#conscious can't reach. plus its magic amnesia and i have comic AND cartoon realism on my side.#danny's personality from the league doesn't get challenged that much by the fentons because danny's learning this about himself just as muc#as they are. Jazz can't “Fix” what's wrong with him when neither of them know it and Danny is always the first to figure it out and then#keeps it to himself. Also. Jazz has a fucking life? she's not the family therapist she has friends and hobbies even if we the viewers don't#see it. But also i just really deeply despise the idea that Jazz “fixes” danny's league issues just by existing and being the therapist#because it waters her down into a one-dimensional character who only exists in the context of providing emotional support and life advice t#danny. also therapy only works on someone that's actively trying to change. otherwise its just psychoanalyzing and people tend to hate#being psychoanalyzed without consent. which as a result may have them refuse help. anyways point is: i believe that growth is slow and#complex and danny would hide a lot of the stuff he discovers about himself because if there's one thing he still retains from being an#assassin. it's how to hide. he likes jazz but there are some things you just hide from people.#damian also told dick to “keep his filthy hands off his things”. which was also a shock because it sounded something he'd say more to tim#damian was distraught the entire time.#okay thats all i have for now.
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love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world
#im talking about griffith btw#guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him#and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me#but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings#like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too#and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon#so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn#he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something?#and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv#and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not#ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities#more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well#also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read#there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom#i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read#also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all)#i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note#light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into#and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead#and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol#so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well#berserk spoilers#p
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You could say that I have strong feelings about this ongoing debate
#critical role#we can all have coffee on Ludinus' grave and debate the nature of morality until we're blue in the face. but priorities.#cr spoilers#bell's hells#HHHHHHH false dichotomies are not a friend#the choice is not a binary Gods Or Predathos#and you should not pick Predathos just because you don't like the other option!!!!!#anyway i have uhhhh 15 memes that i made tonight because that is who i am as a person#also. also. hey. guys. everybody.#if your philosophical debate is leading you to go 'idk maybe the murderers are onto something'#boy HOWDY you better have the information to back that up!#the thing is I'm not mad this devate is happening i think it's very realistic that people would get caught up in this debate given the given#i have just painstakingly cultivated the ability to have an argument and i have strong feelings about rhetoric#[bangs on a pot lid with a spoon] CONSIDER ALL ANGLES BEFORE YOU DOUBLE DOWN ON A POSITION#if you're curious#yes i am EXACTLY like this in a real life argument i have been told i am infuriating to argue with#both because of my love of Sources and because of my need to be absolutely dead sure of something before i get in a fight about it#which have the annoying tendency to make me like. not lose a lot of fights.
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#not to be a broken lil man on main#but I was on the phone with my dad for 30 minutes just now (that's a lot for a phone call with him) and like.... damn. yeah. i do have one#parent who's not horrible huh#we talked a lot about my plans for the future...... which I only now told him bcs scary and bcs........ I never ever during my 25 years of#being alive got the impression from my parents that something like this would be an acceptable career choice or something they'd support#and I mean. my [redacted] of a mother is the best example for how. not alright it is with her that I'm doing something that's not very...#traditional for this family#but anyways. my dad was absolutely fucking lovely#to the point that I get getting teary eyed and felt my throat closing up cause. huh. i guess in his own way he does love me and believe in#he asked me to send him a link or a pdf of my first conference report because he wants to keep it somewhere 😭😭😭😭😭😭#I'm....... ouch. ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch#you know the ghosting I am really good at with tumblr chats (sorry guys. ilu. I just suck at communication)???? i'm also extremely good at#that with whatsapp chats and just. not calling my irl loved ones#so idk. hearing him say he understands and just wanted to make sure I wasn't upset with him and like. wanted to know if I was doing okay.#damn. okay. damn#idk#this was such a good talk and he was so suppertive and non-judgemental and I actually told him about my birthday and how my mother's call#upset me and he was like. yeah. same. and like... he's basically gone no contact with her as well as it turns out#idk. I really should give him more credit and like... I feel like there's so much shifting and change and development happening while I'm n#not there and sometimes it's hard to remember that he actually /could/ understand some things. just cause I've always been so used to not#sharing anything about myself because it wasn't safe when I was younger and... idk........ lots of emotions going on rn#so glad we talked though. so glad#simon.out.#if you read all this.... idk man.... sorry for oversharing but thanks for caring ig <3
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People have been asking me how I could relate to Stolas when Blitzø is the one they are trying to make you relate to throughout the entire series.
It’s just… the need to be always perfect and fit in the image of you others painted, the uncertainty and impossibility of living of your own accord all not to let others down, not knowing if/and/when you are imposing and just questioning each of the people in your life because maybe they feel obligated to be; the incapability of understanding social clues and being always in the corners or in the shadow during parties and social events…
I just… how can you NOT relate to Stolas?!
#is it just me?!#please tell me it’s not just me!#stolas goetia#helluva boss#I was having a nice day with my friends then my friends had to momentarily leave#and told me to wait for them#so now I’m alone and I’ve been for like 10 minutes but the thoughts…#are getting a lot#also the moment I posted that my friend called me to make sure I knew they would have come back#which I know it’s something she wouldn’t have done if I can function as a normal human being#and how could she know I have no clue#but still
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"fandom discourse isnt that serious" yeah duh but i feel like i should be allowed to talk about things like people being misogynistic or justifying abuse without being told im complaining too much or something, when these are such extremely prevalent issues in fandom 😭
#also idk about you guys but complaining is fun to me#like. being super negative and focusing solely on that isnt fun but that isnt me#maybe thats how some people might see it but thats not how it is from my perspective#i like to enjoy lots of fandom content and then when i see something that rubs me the wrong way i like to get my feelings out#so i block then post about it and then move on#its really not as deep as people make it seem#you dont have to follow me and can even block me if my page is too negative for you <3#other things i complain about are usually me talking about not having good experiences in the fandom#like being told my characterization of saiki is wrong by people who literally didnt understand a word of saiki k#which i feel is valid of me to complain about lol#ok whatever the point is. literally just leave me alone LMAO#this is kind of a vent i guess#someone irl said this to me and i felt inclined to talk about it here because people have said this on here too#also im autistic so a lot of it truly just is that serious to me LMAOODODNDKEKD#meows post
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Had such a Day. Idk what's making me approachable to everyone but I need to stop doing it
#when every man in the world either needs help with something or wants me to go somewhere with him#my coworker who i do like but my god today is not the day also came over to my car & started talking to me on lunch break#you see me curled up in period pain like. brooooooo. brooooooooooo#when i'm in my own car in the lot curled into a fetal position i'm coping with some things right.#spaghetti man came to work against doctor's orders just post skin graft for a flesh eating parasite?????#then asked me to drive him home????#i venmoed him a 20 you are not getting in my car with that!!!#call an uber i cannot#mike asked me for my number while i was sitting in my car trying to text kris about a spider they found#some other dude asked me for gas while i was at the cvs trying to get heating pads because. my boss told me the wrong time to come in#so i had time to go to cvs after all but i helped this guy get gas which is fine we all need gas whatever#but when it's like 4 people trying to hold conversations with me about things they want or need in a row#do i look like i have the answers today???? i'm pretty sure i look like i've died#anyway. anyway.
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the most gorgeous man I've ever known sent me a drunk voice message hurt that i left my job at the bar he goes to without telling him and adding that he saw me on tv speaking about palestine, which turned into me telling my ex boss to give him my number, and the sober voice message was much worse because this sweet guy just tells me that he's so proud of me and then i can feel him like talking with a constricted throat saying he understands that i left and closes with "from the river to the sea" and doesn't it just suck that some things have no hope of ever beginning and yet still end somehow
#there is literally no way something could have come of it he lives in that pub and i don't want to go back there#he has addiction problems and I never had a relationship with anyone#it still sucks that these are facts cause i liked him a lot. and also im not kidding when i say he is the hottest dude I've ever seen.#this is maybe the first time i wish i was heterosexual and/or have less impulse control#radio live transmission#sorry over sharing again cause the psychologist still has to tell me when the first appointment will be#(they kinda also told me i dont really need one which is funny bc the first time i try not to do things alone in my life#bc im pretty sure this hyper self reliant and aloof behavior might be a problem and im told actually im doing splendid.#i won at therapy ig)#also i told everyone there that i moved back home because im a lying liar and#thank god he still hasn't done the math that he saw me on tv still in turin#ive had Cold as Ice by the Foreigners playing on loop the entire day trying to get back in character#like. you'd think if i HAVE to experience something close to heartbreak then at least i could have had sex with the#hottest guy in the city. no. i just get the half assed symptoms of it after having conversations with him every weekend for three months#ranging from his cocaine addiction to police violence to the one time he was staring at nothing by the store room where i went to pick stuf#and he offered to take me to miami and i panicked and joked that he didnt have the money and left.#this sucks.
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accept your future path wasn't yours to be chosen.
#ghost's art#ghost's ocs#original art#original character#yvonne eibenholz#i told myself i'd do more full pieces with her after artfight and here we are#i associate like a dog with nico and callisto a lot more for the science elements of it but this is a very yvonne song to me too#anyways she makes me normal#my favourite girl who's future/fate has always been chosen by others and being stuck in a time loop is not helping with that#and it's doomed to constantly forget who she is and unable to truly try and make her own path bc of it#and despite how much they try to find a way out of the loop. i imagine deep down there's like so much hurt and pain to where like#it would rather just go back and forget everything again. running back to what it knew/didn't know (like a wounded dog)#yvonne is very wolf/dog girl coded to me for that reason actually she's always been one to run away from the things that hurt it#and constantly run back to the things it knows or forgetting it all. which she also did a lot as saxen#something wrong with her i desperately need it to go get therapy or something
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#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one#so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot#i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks#they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary#anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place#and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot#and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop#now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg#a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context#point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop#and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty?#like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight#i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop#anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever#and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot'#see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation#and i was replying with one word answers#and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down.#then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?'#which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually'#and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then#after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me?#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place#then i got too embarrassed and chickened out#yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way#i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but no😩 this is my destiny#megumi in the tags
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