#that with whatsapp chats and just. not calling my irl loved ones

[skibasyndrome]

.

[demivampirew]

Keep Calm and Go to London chapter 41

Previous Chapters in the masterlist

Triggers: talking about sex (no smut); talking about mental health; talking about having kids; crying.

A/N: In this chapter there’s a song that reader writes, that irl is by the band Epica. Is a piano song called Linger (you can listen it here: https://open.spotify.com/track/55iw1UmIw8D7CSMDawdJu7?si=icvNgWwLSb6XgCUVZY2TJQ)

Tag list: @mary-ann84​  @yespolkadotkitty​ @constip8merm8​ @iloveyouyen​  @wondersofdreaming​ @alyxkbrl​ @solariumss​  @sweetybuzz25​ @thethirstyarchive​ @agniavateira​   @honeyloverogers​ @hell1129-blog​   @lunedelorient​​  @michelle-1185​​  @madbaddic7ed​​     @summersong69​​ @kaatelyyynn​​ @henrythickcavill​ @wolvesandhoundshowltogether​ @desperate-and-broken​ @peakygroupie​  @ivvitm1109​  @the-soot-sprite @whyyoudothistomecavill @thevelvetseries​ @thetaoofzoe​

So emotional by Whitney Houston was being played over and over. Stay by Rihanna, All I Need by Within Temptation, It Will Rain by Bruno Mars were some of the other tunes you would constantly listen to. It has been two and a half weeks since Henry and you broke up, although it felt like a century - every day without him felt like an eternity.

Therapy and your closest friends were the reason you found the strength to try to move on. The pain was surreal. You missed him more than what you thought a human could miss another person. You knew that you wouldn't die of a broken heart, but the day did not shine as it used to when you were with him. Sitting by the piano, you started to sing the new song inspired by him.

It feels so warm when you are near You are all I want to feel Tell me now, is this for real? It's hard to breathe

We're all lost and travelled high, cannot find My peace of mind When the sun will rise again, we'll fly away

Take the stairs to the stars Wander long, travel far Someday

A summer breeze makes all of our winters freeze Autumn leaves There's no chance for spring's romance We linger on but leave the past behind us Old lovers live it all anew But chances are so few

Windows open up to life Put your worries all aside Sacred silence closes doors for opened eyes

Take the stairs to the stars Wander long, travel far Someday Always

A summer breeze makes all of our winters freeze Autumn leaves There's no chance for spring's romance We linger on but leave the past behind us Old lovers live it all anew But chances are so few And choices are so true.

Tears rolled down your cheeks landing on the instrument's keys. You stood up and headed to the bathroom to take a shower and go to bed - that was you're routine now: getting up, trying to eat something, play sad love songs, write some of those yourself, take a nap, try to eat, write music, go to bed to listen to music while you cried yourself to sleep. This time you were listening to Need You Now by Lady A -formerly known as Lady Antebellum.

Picture perfect memories Scattered all around the floor Reaching for the phone 'cause, I can't fight it anymore And I wonder if I ever cross your mind For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.

(...)

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

In the time since your breakup, you wanted to contact him several times but stop yourself from doing it. The last thing you wanted was for him to see you as the annoying clingy ex. But that night heart defeated reasoning. You opened the Whatsapp chat and sent him the link to the song. Immediately after pressing send, you regretted it but it was too late. Even if you erase the message, he would still get the notification that you send him something. With your hands trembling, you wrote "I'm sorry to bother you, that was no my intention. I just... couldn't help myself. I miss you so much. Don't worry about me, though... I'll be ok." "I understand that we weren't mean to be, you deserve to have the family you've always wanted and you shouldn't give that up for me or wait for God knows how long for me to decide if that was something I could give you. You're amazing and deserve the best. I'll always be there for you if you need me."

You throw the phone into the other side of the bed as if you were afraid he was going to reply something mean. You knew Henry well enough to know that he wouldn't do such a thing, but you kept thinking that sending him a message was a bad idea. After an hour curiosity defeated you and you looked to see if he had seen your text. The double check marks were now blue, which meant that he's read them. There was no reply, though. You cheeked the time he saw them and was fifteen minutes after you sent them. You started to cry.

Approximately an hour later, the doorbell rang. You went to check who it was, but before you reached the door, an excited barking allowed you to know who it was: "Kal!" you exclaimed in your thoughts. As soon as you opened the door, the Akita ran to you and started to jump around, liking your hand and begging you to pet him. You kneeled beside him and hugged him and let him know how much you missed him.

- Kal, go to the living room.- Henry ordered him and the dog obeyed. You stood up and looked him on those baby blues that you missed so much. He was waiting on the other side of the door as if he needed your permission to get in. - I'm so sorry if I bothered you. I swear it wasn't my intention.- you apologized, but before you could say another word, he grabbed your face and kissed you. You put both of your arms around his neck and he slid his hands to your back and hips.

Moments later, he stopped the kissing to close the door and pick you up on his arms, walking up the stairs into your bedroom.

It has been some time since the last time you've been intimate because the need for each other was unmeasurable. The breakup intensified the mutual desire.

You rested your head on his chest and he played with your hair and caressed your shoulder.

- In the ranking of worst decisions I've ever made, breaking up with you has become the undeniable champion.- he said. - I don't think so.- you sighed- You deserve someone that can give you the family you want. - You're the family I want.- he replied firmly. - I didn't end the relationship because of that.- he explained- I didn't want you to suffer because I would be busy and don't have much free time to be with you. I know it caused you a lot of pain that your ex was always busy and didn't have time to be with you and it would have killed me if it was I the one causing you that much pain. - It was different with him. He would purposely make himself busy all the time. Even if he had no work to do, he would find something because for what it seemed, anything was better than spent time with me.- you told him. - Would you forgive this fool and give him another chance with you? Because being without you it's the worst hell I've ever lived in.- he implored. - Are you sure you want me? - you questioned him. - Absolutely!- he exclaimed.

The sweet taste of his lips touching yours was exquisite. Once again in the arms of your lover, you fell asleep with a smile on your face.  

[imnotrevealingmyname]

So I have this new friend, who has all the classes I do, except one elective.

We've never met irl because she recently moved here or smth and she's new, and all of then covid came along.

Anyway, we only chat on WhatsApp, and she's a nice girl, pretty cool.

The only thing is, she keeps calling me names she thinks are adorable. Like, okay, I am pretty small, but you're only like two inches taller than me???? It's adorable when she compares me to those tiny birds in the GIFs, but I don't think she realizes that there's a fucking limit. Little birb, little pupper, little kitten, guinea pig- over and over, all day long, everyday. Like.... at this point I don't think she's aware that I'm a functioning intellectual human being. I do NOT like being compared to an animal every fucking second of my life. I ask her if the schedule has been changed, and she responds with:

→no

→pats

→take pats you silly little owl you little pup

→you shall be a good little birb and follow me around on my shoulder and we shall go on an adventure

Okay wtf. We were both joking around this afternoon and I had finally had enough, so I said,"Uh, I always run off on my own on trips and adventures, I don't do well in human company"

And she was like,"You will follow me around like a good puppers"

....I don't know why you think that's the case, but I am not your fucking pet. I said,"lol not happening"

She said,"What if you're kidnapped and your organs are harvested?"

DUDE I AM A FULLY FUNCTIONING WOMAN AND I'M NOT AN IDIOT???? I know people get kidnapped, but she said stuff that made it sound like I'm not capable of protecting myself at all, and I need people around me to act as bodyguards.

"YOU ARE TINY AND MEEK!"was her response.

Okay, first of all, I'm 5'2, which is just one inch shorter than the average height of a woman. I'm not a fucking Lilliput, unlike what she seems to think.

And as for meek? You enrage me, you don't see the light of the day again. Nobody has EVER called me meek before. People aren't exactly afraid of me, but even on the best days they try to avoid any altercations, because once I'm pissed I sass their asses back where they belong, and if you've constantly irritated me for days on end and I haven't said anything? I fucking explode. I don't take shit from ANYONE. I took taekwondo classes for three consecutive years and while I'm not a master at the art, I CAN protect myself, contrary to popular belief.

You know what she said?

→lol

→pats little pup

You get called a dog everyday, it starts to wear on you.

I woke up after a nap, and the first thing I saw on WhatsApp was a link she sent me.

I said,"lmao I read it as potato, too"

She responded: pats little Pupper while she gnaws a potato

(I copied it as it is)

Just.... I am NOT YOUR PET, STOP ACTING LIKE I AM! Don't fucking make me lose it, or you won't live to regret it. UGH.

I wish people had a bit of common sense, you know. Nobody likes to be treated like a pet or some shit. I don't hate puppies- heck, I love them- but you gotta respect a person, man. Don't treat your fellow humans like they're your pets and you're their master. She's definitely NOT my master. I intend to hammer that point into her head, even if it takes a real hammer to do it.

I'm not having this. Not anymore.

Fuck off

[arigatouiris]

the tinder date // shinshou hitoshi

Author’s Note: I am in LOVE with @myherowritings​ ‘You Suck at Gaming’ so I wanted to do something in appreciation, albeit a bit differently! So, this happened to me irl haha so I wanted to write about it~ I turned the real guy into Shinsou so that no one would know hahahaha I’m such a creep oh my god 

Word count: 3046

Pairing: Modern! Shinsou Hitoshi x Reader

Warnings: fluff, humor, smau 

❝

You never really wanted to use Tinder to meet new people, but ever since a terrible breakup, your friends, your classmates, your goddamn mind told you that you needed a push and maybe, just maybe, Tinder might do good. 

You weren’t a fan of the idea of meeting people using an app, which honestly, came across the same as buying groceries where some things were available and some things weren’t—you believed you couldn’t do that with people, and you believed with all your heart that people weren’t meant to be either swiped right on or swiped left on. Your heart was already weak as it was, and there was no way you were ready to emotionally invest in something real; at least for the time being.

So that lonely Friday night, you downloaded the app, created your profile, chose the perfect bio after 14 attempts at writing something about yourself, each time forgetting a vital piece of information. You didn’t start swiping right away, something about the process scared you—but there you were, mentally preparing yourself, telling yourself that it was okay, you were going to meet people on these dates and maybe, the app might be good for you, after all. 

You have heard success stories of people meeting via Tinder and having a great relationship and all that; some even find their best friends on the app, which is weird despite the social stigma attached to an app like Tinder. Some of your friends even know people who have gotten married and that’s the tea. You were not ready for either of those, maybe you’d get some coffee with a cute chap and maybe, just maybe, hold hands.

Alright, fine, make out or whatever.

But the prospect felt so wrong, you didn’t know what you would do if he turned out to be a creep. So, bucking it all up, swallowing your pride or what was left of it, you started to look at the men Tinder presented to you.

The very first picture was of a boy whose face revolted you—and if you thought that sounded rude, wait until you start complaining about the grapes he had for hair. 

The second boy was decent, but you were not going for decent on this app. You wanted something written on the bio—something that they were willing to communicate with, something you could identify with, something you can vibe with; and if you didn’t find anything like that, despite how cute the guy can be, you are swiping left on that ass.

It was after what felt like a thousand left swipes did you find someone a least bit attractive. But, you blinked—there was an odd feature under his profile; it was marked blue with a star.

Immediately opening WhatsApp, you texted your friend, Ochako, asking her what it was. Ochako being Ochako instantly called you.

     “Someone super liked you in less than an hour!?”

What in the world was a ‘super like’?

     “Ocha-chan, what’s a ‘super like?’” You rubbed your eyeball as you continued, “And what does it have to do with the fact that I’ve been on this app for less than an hour—”

     “Most super likes are usually done by creeps,” Uraraka didn’t hold back, “But sometimes, if someone really finds you attractive or interesting, you get a super like from a very decent guy. I heard one of my classmate’s brother’s friends met his boyfriend via the ‘super like’ feature!”

     “Y-Yeah, I’m not... I’m not looking for—”

     “It just means that whoever this person is, finds you interesting! So go through his profile and let me know what you think!”

You ended the call right then before going back on the app, finding his profile still open. You wouldn’t lie, he was very attractive—not in the way most people would flaunt over, but you couldn’t take your eyes off him. There was something about the way he was lazily smiling at the camera, or how the light fell on his lavender hair, or how he looked so unapologetically as himself. You then went on to read his bio.

If you matched not to start a conversation, then don’t swipe right. Being left alone is easy. 

It wasn’t all of the bio but this part of the bio somehow stuck to you. It was incredibly honest—and wasn’t the usual ‘interested in trekking’ or fancy words like ‘selenophile’ (words that you had to google basically). You noticed that in one of his pictures, he had a tattoo—of a particular animal but it was so minimalistic you could barely recognize it from the odd angle in the picture.

You swiped right and the pop up appeared ‘It’s a Match!’. Your heart skipped a beat for god knows what and you gulped, wondering what would come next. You didn’t even hold back before looking at the new chat screen. You gulped before shutting your phone and lying back on your bed, wondering what the ideal time to send him a message would be. 

Swallowing your leftover pride, you opened the chat once more and went ahead with, “Please don’t mind my stalker tendencies, but what is that tattoo on your hand?” You wanted to clarify some more that you were not a stalker, but held back.

You closed the app and felt your stomach grumble. This was the start of something—you were sure of that much, but you weren’t sure of what. And this person, Hitoshi, whose last name you did not know, seemed very interesting.

*

The next morning, you woke up to a Tinder notification. Your stomach flipped as the purple-haired boy’s face was your first thought and you instantly opened the message where he had explained that it was a tattoo of his cat.

Your heart melted at this gesture but you reminded yourself that you didn’t even know this person and there was no use feeling warm over one sentence. But, what came next sent your heart on overdrive.

Your eyes widened as you read the messages one by one,

You closed the app and almost screamed, but held yourself back; you figured this was a bad idea because the sound really needed to come out of you and you squealed like a dying animal just seconds after. You needed to tell someone this, but before that, you had to reply to that. You opened the app again with trembling fingers before figuring out what could be the most appropriate response to something like that.

Haha; No, that’s too lame. 

You’re so funny!; No fucking way! 

Ughh, what do I say? What do I say?! You had reached a slump. You had no words. So, you did what you do best—you went with your gut.

You slapped yourself in the forehead. There was no way you were going to live past this one—

You chuckled. He’s funny. You quickly were about to type a response before he added, “Just wanted to have a good conversation with someone new. Not intending on using this app to fornicate like lonely bunnies.”

You stared at the message before feeling a soft smile crawl on to your features. You felt the same, but this wasn’t supposed to happen, right? You weren’t supposed to agree with whatever a random Tinder match was saying, right? It wasn’t supposed to be this easy.

You replied, Same. Intending on great conversations because somehow, that’s taken the backseat these days.

No one really talks anymore, you thought before waiting for his reply. You didn’t know where this conversation would go, really, but you were intending on finding out. You never really chatted with anyone on Tinder before but you were curious as to why he super-liked you, and what this person had in store for you. It was strange, but you enjoyed this feeling. It wasn’t a crush, it had no expectations attached to it—yet, there was a fresh excitement bubbling in your stomach at the mere thought of some stranger talking to you.

You and Hitoshi kept chatting during random points of the day. You’d be cooking for yourself (since it was a weekend), or you’d be taking a dump or you’d try to take a nap—and a simple ping would send your heart to the skies. You didn’t know him for that long, it had been less than a whole day since you two matched, but somehow, talking to him about random things really helped keep your spirits high. You felt genuinely happy—and the excitement kept you going.

You stared at the conversation and wondered why it wasn’t as easy with people you really did know in life. You wondered why people didn’t have time for conversation unless it’s a stranger—isn’t that the entire point of it all? To talk, to spread joy, to ponder on life’s meaninglessness together?

You blinked. Boarding a flight? To where? You wanted to ask, but you really didn’t want to come across as some prying clingy individual. You were curious though.

Oh! Where to?

You hoped that the message sounded less inquisitive and more cheerful for god knows what reason.

Going to Reykjavik for a week. Always wanted to see the lights.

He’s going to... ICELAND?! You felt strangely excited and disappointed, but the fact that he had no obligation to meet you stung.

However—

Your heart shot to the skies. You wanted to respond immediately, but you held back. Clearing your throat, you replied earnestly.

Sure. Looking forward to it! 

And that was that.

*

You never knew how well you could jump to overthinking, especially when it came to strangers. You knew Hitoshi (whatever his last name was) was in Iceland right now, and that only meant that considering the time differences, there would be little to no text messages.

What you didn’t understand was why you got no notifications in three days. A suspicious thing, because Tinder usually throws a thousand notifications at you especially when you don’t want to check them. So, being the inquisitive little cat that you are, you opened the app. Only to find that your account on Tinder is banned.

     “What...” You blinked a couple of times before closing the app and opening it again, “What the fuck!?”

You didn’t know what to do at this point. How could it have been banned? There were no ill comments, no ugly or obscene photographs of you from your end, then why did Tinder ban your account?

You went through the community guidelines and found nothing. Your heart was breaking—Hitoshi must have thought you unmatched him (Ochaco once told you that if you unmatch someone’s profile, they won’t see your chats anymore). You couldn’t even log in, you couldn’t even let him know that it was Tinder cockblocking you and not you being an idiot. Oh, god, why!? You screamed into your pillow, wondering how this could have happened before calling Ochako to help calm you down.

     “How the hell can they ban you?” She asked, causing you to roll your eyes.

     “If I knew that then I would have done something else, Ocha-chan!”

     “Okay, okay. So let’s do this. Find him on Facebook and send him a message saying Tinder banned you. It has to be a bug from their end. I’ve read that it happens to a lot of random profiles.”

You blinked. Really? Or was she simply just trying to pacify you? You didn’t care, you needed the pacifying.

     “But, I don’t know his surname...”

     “(y/n)-chan,” Ochako took a deep breath, “You spoke to him for two days and you didn’t take his surname!?”

You undermined yourself pretty hard in the past, but right now, it had reached the pinnacle of it all. You felt low, you had lost the prospect of not only great conversations but a cute boy who even asked you out.

     “Try finding him on LinkedIn.” Ochako said, and you blinked.

     “LinkedIn?”

You could practically hear her nod, “Yeah. Just type in his workplace or education, whatever you remember from the Tinder app, and his first name. It should show you a result that matches.”

You couldn’t wait to try. You opened your laptop, while Ochako was on call, and did exactly as she told you. You typed in ‘Hitoshi’ and then his workplace, some gaming studio—for the life of you you couldn’t pronounce it, and your eyes widened. The first result was ‘Shinsou Hitoshi’.

     “Oh my God,” You gasped, “I found him!”

Ochako giggled, “Is it really him?”

     “I’d really not mistake that face anywhere, Ocha-chan! You’re a genius!”

     “Of course,” She said, giggling, “Send him a message then!”

Doubt said hello a second after, “But what if he thinks I’m some stalker?”

     “Tell him your account got banned. Just be honest. He might even appreciate the effort.”

You weren’t too sure about that, actually. Your hand ghosted over his profile before attempting to send a message; but, apparently, LinkedIn wouldn’t let you send a message to someone new—someone you didn’t already have any connections with. When you mentioned this to Ochako, you wondered if you were the stalker or if she was.

     “He’s on Facebook, (y/n)-chan. Just go for it!”

You gulped before opening Facebook, wondering all the while if this was entirely normal for anyone to do for a Tinder date, before typing in his name. It was the same picture he had put of himself on Tinder, and you gulped, unsure of what to send. Again, you did what you do best—went with your gut.

Hey! This is (y/n), from Tinder. So long story short, my account got banned and idek why. I just wanted to let you know that I didn’t unmatch/ghost you. I didn’t want to leave you hanging so I turned into an interim stalker to let know you this. Is there any way we can contact each other besides Tinder?

You breathed slowly, as slowly as you possibly could. You could feel a weird numbness asphyxiating you, unaware of how to proceed or what would happen next. You shut your eyes and released a breath, before falling back on the bed.

     “What’s wrong?” You could hear the worry in Ochako’s voice.

     “I don’t know...” Nothing made sense anymore.

Did you like Shinsou? You weren’t sure—but what you were sure of was how little you knew him. Was that enough? Was the fact that you had never met come into play here? Just because the conversation was easy? Or was it merely the idea of meeting someone through a dating app? You couldn’t like him. Maybe, it was a crush.

But, can you have a crush on someone you didn’t even know?

You heard a ping and you felt that familiar stomach flipping sensation you knew so well in school. You never realized how much that feeling was missed ever since you grew up.

You were quite practically rolling and squealing at the same time. Ochako joined you, not knowing what the reply was but she was merely just happy for you. 

     “He replied!”

     “In like ten minutes! So fast!”

You didn’t know how he could reply, considering the time difference and everything, but that didn’t matter. He had given you his number, and you were going to text him and that was that. 

     “So, should I text him now?”

Ochako hummed, “Not now. Wait till the morning.”

So, you waited until the next morning. As soon as you woke up, you remembered the details Ochako had given you and you carefully composed a message in your head. Saving the number into your contacts, you tried to send him a message—but it failed.

Heh? You thought before trying again, with each attempt failing each time. You felt nervous, wondering if something was wrong with your phone, before realizing you were late for work. 

Ugh, you thought before sending him another message, not bothered to tell Ochako about this.

Hey, so I can’t seem to send you a message, why don’t you ping me instead? It’s xy-xyx-xxxxx. 

As soon as you reached work, you forgot entirely that you had even sent him that message. For some reason, your manager seemed to know you had other things in your mind and was intending on squeezing the life out of you. You had never worked so hard in the entirety of your life but that Thursday, you felt God’s wrath. After 9 hours of painful clock time, you began to head home, feeling incredibly tired and done with everything there was about adulthood.

You checked your phone for the first time in 9 hours and your heart skipped a beat. Shinsou had sent you two messages, one on Facebook—

—and one on WhatsApp.

You freaked before replying to him, apologizing for the wait—apologizing internally a thousand times; and wondered if you’d get a response real quick. Judging from where you were, you realized you needed to get home first.

As soon as you reached home, you threw your bag on the bed and checked your phone again—nothing. You sighed before getting some food, constantly looking over at your phone, wondering what had gotten into you, wondering if you were the only one flipping over a Tinder date like this. You were sure Shinsou wouldn’t be responding the same way; he was in Iceland, he probably wasn’t even thinking of you! And yet, here you were, thinking about him all through your day.

You felt strangely pathetic. Were you so lonely that you couldn’t live without this minor excitement that a random stranger was giving you? It felt so odd.

You spent the next two days, not texting him. You wondered if you were intentionally ghosting him, but he hadn’t texted you either. You felt low, being proven that he had better things to do, but you had gotten your answer. Serves you right that you were excited over someone you didn’t even know. Serves you right for jumping over your head for a Tinder match. 

You sighed before hearing the familiar ‘ping’ of your phone.

You smiled a bit, feeling the sides of your cheek hurt. 

Sure, but won’t you be tired?

It was a second later did Shinsou reply to that. You stared as the conversation rolled on, before knowing for a fact that you weren’t meeting him tomorrow. Maybe on Tuesday? You thought, giving yourself the benefit of the doubt.

His message only proved that he did want to see you. So, that means, you weren’t the only one wanting to see the other person. This being clarified to you made it easier for you to accept your obsession over the purple-haired male, but you had to restrain yourself.

When Tuesday morning rolled by, you were very close to giving up. You texted Ochako all day, asking her if he had given up interest in you or if you were annoying or clingy or desperate and she assured you that you were neither of those things. She told you that you were overthinking, that Shinsou was probably busy, he went back to work after Iceland, so maybe he had a lot to catch up on.

You didn’t know when you took a blow to your confidence, but you had and it bothered you. You wondered if it was alright to test everything on one random Tinder match, but you sighed, giving up the entire thought process. You raged inside your head, but there was very little clarity left. You decided to let the day pass and see if he was going to text you.

He didn’t. 

It ran past 12 p.m. You had lunch on your own, staring at your phone the whole time, wondering if he had forgotten even. You felt your energy reduce in intensity before spamming Ochako about what to do. 

You couldn’t bear the thought of him losing interest in you, and you didn’t know why. He seemed interested, your conversations were really fun—you had a few things in common and he asked you out twice! 

What went wrong? Was he really that busy? Was he bored with you? Was he cat-fishing you?

It was then you saw a message pop in.

Hey, sorry about not texting. I’ve come down with a cold. The date’ll need to wait.

Your heart skipped three beats. You sighed before wondering why you hadn’t thought of the possibility of him being sick. You replied a genuine, ‘take care’, but in your heart—it was as if the universe was saying this wasn’t going to happen. You didn’t bother to see his further replies; you weren’t blaming him for being sick, you were blaming yourself for being so overtly excited by someone you didn’t know.

He’s just a Tinder match, you thought before collapsing on your bed after coming home. 

Ochako called you that night, and you revealed to her in detail about what you were feeling.

     “What’s wrong?”

You sighed, “I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely because it seems catastrophic.” 

Ochako was quiet. 

     “Do you think Tinder was a bad idea?”

You scoffed, “It has to be. It just showed me how lonely I am. That’s what these apps do! They show you how pathetic you are, how lonely you are on the inside and it’s just... It just sucks.”

You don’t remember falling asleep that night. It was a Friday, and you knew what work had in store for you. However, you had nothing on your mind—you forced the thought of Shinsou to the back of your mind before walking into work with a clear head. You worked all day, ate lunch alone, worked again—not checking your phone, not bothered to read or be interested in anything remotely online. 

As soon as work was done, from the corner of your eye, you noticed notifications. You shook your head before rushing on home, before realizing you weren’t watching where you were going. 

Your office was on an incredibly important street. Sometimes, you met people you never thought you’d meet—schoolmates, enemies from the past, old teachers. You were thankful that you worked in such a location but sometimes, just sometimes, the fact that you worked on such a busy street proved to be a tad bit too... cliche.

You look up and your eyes met with purple locks and wide black eyes, shocked at seeing your form just as shocked as you were seeing his.

     “(y/n)?”

You blinked, gasped and stood up straight.

     “Did you follow me?”

Shinsou chuckled, “I think this is what they’d call a coincidence.”

Your cheeks suddenly felt warm, and you wondered how in the world he had shown up there before—

—his arm extended forward, a soft smile on his features.

     “Can I take you out for coffee then? You can’t imagine how long I’ve been waiting.”

I can’t imagine? You giggled before shaking his hand, I think I can.

❞

[sketchguk]

hi Spanish-speaking fwb anon again with a slight update

He confessed! He does like me, and I said the same to him. We aren’t official yet cause he has some hang-ups from past experiences and we’ve agreed to just keep what we have now and see where it goes, but yeah. Very very happy!

He confessed !!!!!! Love is in the air !!!! At least you have the certainty now !!! Happy for you !! 💛 Hopefully you can meet some day soon !

Idk if you can offer any advice, but one of my best friend's is in a similar situation, and we're seriously confused about what she should do LOL. She hooked up with a guy from Colombia when she went on a tour of Cuzco back in December (they've really only met irl for 3 days - and then returned to their respective cities). They've been texting ever since on a friendly basis, but she's really hung up on him. They don't necessarily flirt, but I was thinking that maybe it was just a physical thing, or maybe it's a strictly fwb thing.

They had an Appropriate FaceTime call a few weeks ago, but now he hasn't been as communicative -- so he's kinda taking away the "friends" aspect of the fwb lol. It takes days for him to respond, and sometimes, her WhatsApp messages get sent, but not delivered. He also has no social media, so she can't even say for sure he's "busy" LOL. She also felt weird about how he said "sorry, just got back from work. I'll respond tomorrow," at 1 in the morning?? She had a feeling that he was lying, but there's no reason to lie or even mention it, right? He could have responded the following day instead of making it sound suspicious

I don't think she should wait on him or pursue anything, but it's like the first time she's ever felt as though a guy likes her back. She fr thinks she's never gonna find someone again 😭 But with the way they communicate on and off, I don't think they know each other super well

How do you keep up with long distance chats so well??? And what keeps you so hopeful about LDRs, if you don't mind me asking? 💔 Feel free to answer !! Or not, that's okay too <3 I just wanna hear another perspective !

[findteenpenpals]

Internet Friends Wanted :)

Hi I'm Emma, I'm 13 (14 on the 19th of April). I live in England and I'm pansexual whilst also questioning my gender identity (please don't judge I have only told one person irl and it went horribly)  I love anime, Harry Potter, writing, reading, listening to music, running/walking/hiking. I love most kinds of music but some of my faves are MCR, Panic! at the disco, linkin park, delta heavy and there are some smaller bands and artists that I just adore. I am hoping to find someone that can have deep conversations and can become someone I trust, however I would also love to just be able to laugh and have a joke with you. Also if we get closer I could hope that we could video call too. I don't care about sexuality, gender, religion ect. All I ask is that you are not homophobic, sexist ect. I only speak English but I am learning French as I have GCSE in it (it is going terribly, I suck at French)

I hope to hear from you soon :)

hmu @dark-side-of-lives

when you message me could you tell me your age, name, country, gender and where you would prefer to chat, I don't mind if it is on here, or snapchat, Instagram, WhatsApp (only if your in England for that one - sorry)

[gary--martin]

The beginning of the major project story

In October 2020 I began putting ideas together for a project. Something that I wanted to last, become part of my life on a longterm basis; something I cared about. At the time of writing this (January 2021), I cannot for the life of me remember what those initial ideas were. I had spent the summer reading and reflecting on my creative practice. The pandemic was going on way longer than I thought it would have and it had started to expose a lot of things for me that were just hiding from plain sight. I had many conversations with friends (Squad) over Zoom and ‘the group chat’ about internet cultures and the impact URL life is having on IRL life. Generally speaking we were finding the divide between the internet that we love, and the internet that was pissing us off, and trying to find out why we were getting so miffed about certain things. We had been talking a lot about Spotify, about how we didn’t like the network effect it had over musicians to release music on there despite the remuneration system seeming so unfair. I use Spotify to listen to a lot of music, so there’s definitely some cognitive dissonance going on there. I get that it’s convenient for listeners. And I also get that getting your track in a popular playlist can get you loads of streams (and so maybe earn a bit of money). But as a group we reflected on the namelessness of this system. How easy it was to leave playlist running and not know who or what you are listening to even if asked. "Ah its on this playlist" was a phrase we discussed a fair bit. You might argue that this system allows for greater music exploration, finding things you’ve never heard before. And you’d be right. But radio does this and I have no gripes with radio. What’s all that about? Artist and Computer Person, Elliott Cost wrote a short paper on the vastness of a website. In it he talks about how over the last few years… "platforms have stripped away any hint of how vast they actually are. As a result, users only get to see a tiny sliver of an entire platform. There’s been an overwhelming push to build tools specifically designed for engagement (like buttons, emoji responses, comment threading) instead of building tools that help users actually explore. This has replaced any sense of play with a bleak struggle for users attention. The marketing line for these new tools could easily be, "engage more, explore less."" He tries to combat this in the websites he designs by adding explore buttons that randomise content, for example. You can see this in action in a website he contributed to called the The Creative Independent. "One thing we did implement was a random button that served up a random interview from over 600 articles across the site. I ended up moving this button into the main navigation so that readers could continue to click the button until they found an interview that interested them. It’s fairly easy to implement a “randomized items/articles” section on a website. In the case of The Creative Independent, this simple addition revealed how expansive the site really was.”

https://elliott.computer/pages/exploring-the-vastness-of-a-website.html  Sticking with the website theme, another thing we discussed as a Squad was the increase of Web 3.0 models in comparison to out current 2.0 models. We’d all done some listening to and reading of Jaron Lanier, who after writing a few books about the future of big data and the potential to monetise your own, eventually just wrote a really on those nose book about getting off social media. It’s called ‘Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now’. To the point right? After feeling the negative effects of social media throughout 2018 and 2019, I’d reached breaking point, and this book tipped me over the edge to try going cold turkey. It was surprisingly easy and I loved being away from it all, especially Instagram. That app can do things to you. For quite some time I was obsessed over crafting the perfect post for my music and creative practice that I stopped making my core content to focus on keeping up appearances on Instagram. I don’t think it works like this for everyone. Perhaps some people are more susceptible to the allure of its powers. Maybe it rooted in some insecurities. Either way, the network of people I was following and that were following me back were certainly not social. Our relationships were built on tokenistic and obligatory likes and comments. The FOMO was hitting hard and I wasn’t getting anywhere with my art and music. I’m still off Instagram, all Facebook platforms in fact. I got rid of WhatsApp and forced my friends to use Signal. Cos that’s what you do to people you love, shine a light down on anything toxic in their life while sitting on that high horse. I have returned to Twitter, months and months after being away from everything, because I’m trying to start a record label during a pandemic. You can’t meet up with anyone or go anywhere, how am I supposed to do guerrilla marketing if everyone is staring at their computer at home everyday? I could’ve come up with something online perhaps, and perhaps I might still. But for know I’ve jumped on Twitter and am just following everyone in Cardiff involved with music. I’m playing the spam game until we can go outside again. Then I’ll delete that little blue bird from my computer again. I appreciate that these networks are useful and convenient. And there aren’t any good alternative with the same network effect. But the thing that Lanier said that really struck me was this idea that there needs to be enough people on the outside of it all to show others that it can be done. So until something better comes along, I am happy to sit outside of it all. Jenny Odell is helping me through this with her book “How to Do Nothing.” As we discussed this as a Squad we noticed that much of what we were talking about was about aligning your actions with your values. It’s something seemingly impossible to maintain in all aspects of your life, but I genuinely think the more you can do this the happier you’ll be. We do it in so many other aspects of our lives, I wondered why it was so difficult to musicians who hate Spotify to not use, or for those riddled with anxiety to not use Instagram. I think a huge factor of this is down to that word convenience again. Now, convenience is king. But, “At what cost?” I will ask. For every few seconds shaved off, kj of energy saved, or steps reduced in completing a task or getting something, there are hidden costs elsewhere that the consumer doesn’t have to worry about. And I think this is worrying. Not that I think things should be deliberately inconvenient for people. But on reflecting on this, I am happy for things to be a little ‘anti-convenient’. For processes of consumption and creation, to have that extra step I do myself perhaps, or for it to take that little bit longer for a package to get to me. Or even that I spend some time learning how to do whole processes myself. Anyway, back to those Web3 chats…. the Squad noticed that the new Web seems to include glimmers of Web 1.0 and the return of personal websites, as well as newer ideas like decentralised systems of exchange. Artists that can do a bit of coding and seasoned web designers alike are creating an online culture that focuses on liberating the website and our online presence from platform capitalism. Instructions for how to set up your own social network (https://runyourown.social) are readily available with a quick search, and calls for a community focused web are common place from those dying to get off Twitter and live in their own corner of the internet with their Squad, interconnected with other Squads. What’s this got to do with Third Nature? Well it means I decided to build our website from scratch using simple HTML and CSS. I intend to maintain this and eventually try to move the hosting from GitHub Pages over to a personal server ran on a Raspberry Pi. There is a link between the anti-Spotify movement and the pro-DIY-website culture, which is that ‘aligning your actions with your values’ thing. Before Third Nature had a website though - before it was called Third Nature for that matter - I had this idea… What if there were an alternative to Spotify that was as fair as the #BrokenRecord campaign wanted it to be? I could so have a go at making that. Maybe on a small scale. Like for Cardiff, and then expand. After sharing the idea with the Squad though we did some research and actually came across a few music platforms that were doing these types of things. More on this in the next post…

[dangerscully]

A shout-out to some people who were the IRL highlights of 2017:

(...in the vaguest of rough chronological orders)

@crossedbeams

My travel buddy, my adopted cat’s mum, my yes woman, my bank account’s worst enemy. When you can throw out in a group chat “random long shot, but does anyone want to go to California?” and get not only someone replying “YES”, but that person actually following through and booking your flights - resulting in the best holiday, you know you’ve got a platonic keeper. Bring on more adventures! (Hey, did you know that we climbed a mountain?)

@your-perfect-opposite

The clammest clam to ever clam. She takes showers and misses all the popcorn, and plans excellent days out in her area of London. A beautiful peahead who very, very calmly bought front row tickets to WoW and didn’t freak out at all and has never freaked out about anything ever. She loves Claire Foy more than you do.

@mulderswaterbed

Fiery filthy French trashbag who is crazy talented and appreciates good cinematography so that you don’t have to (you should though). Queen of Whatsapp art and meme-er of her own drunken ramen face. Even trashier in real life, but gets embarrassed while eating an innuendo-laden plantain taco.

@so-called-xfiles

A secretly hilarious trashbag who largely hides it from public sight against my advice. My cinema buddy, getting lost while walking through London buddy, and showing me the sights of Manchester buddy. We took a selfie with a dinosaur and played mini golf in a junkyard!

@hrhgilliana

We may not talk too often, but when we do, it’s an all day/night job in the best way. The biggest heart and the kindest soul, who knows when to message and/or suggest a simultaneous Doctor Who rewatch at just the right time.

@scullbagg

Pal who I miss dearly and don’t get to see enough, but who is a star at opening up deep and meaningful conversations. The most Scullyish IRL Scully.

@hallwayperson

My dear talented little bean, who experienced the worst guided tour of London known to man, courtesy of Rose and I. Wanna see the student services building of the London School Of Economics or the back of the Royal Courts Of Justice? We’re your gals! My pin of her awesome artwork is on the lapel of my winter denim coat, looking awesome.

@kateyes224

Managing to see your pal from half the world away on two different continents in one year is pretty rad. Tapas and cocktails in London... picnic and copious amounts of cocktails and cuddles in San Diego. Thank you for letting us invade your home for the night (even if you made us watch Fight Club WHICH YOU’D NEVER SEEN).

@2moms-0fucks

Walking into the Arrivals of LAX straight into Liz’s waiting hug was the least amount that a first in-person meeting has ever felt like the first time. After talking every single day for a year we finally got to meet up and Liz and her family took us into their home and showed us the sights - plus as a bonus made tacos and let me cuddle their cats and dog (an important requirement for me). Cannot wait to get to show her the sights of the UK next year! 

@startwreck

I have put my hand inside her puppet’s ass. That’s all that needs to be said about this friendship.

(Also Lila is rad as hell and cries at absolutely anything - despite her claims - and her memeing makes me want to die in the best way and I cannot wait to see her again next year!)

@defnotmeyo

Soft snuggly trash panda nerd IRL as well as online, despite what she tries to pretend. We got drunk and snuggled in San Diego, and we got more drunk and snuggled in San Francisco (and next year will get drunk and snuggle in Boston!). A secret cutie with a huge heart masquerading as a badass bitch. (The filth is just as real IRL though).

Here’s to the fact that 2018′s IRL adventures will offer me the chance to finally meet up with @thethirstisoutthere, @snowvitamins, @stellagibsonisalifeforce, @damselindistressmya, hopefully @piecesofscully, hopefully more of y’all!

Having pocket pals (bonus: turned IRL pals) is the single best thing about the internet, and two years ago when I finally started watching this show I had absolutely no clue about the friends it would bring me and the places it would take me, and it blows my mind how some dumb alien show from the early 90s has completely changed my life decades after it started airing. Honestly love you guys to bits 💜

[feeyfeey]

Hmm yes I understand your point, I just figured since you are in ldr, it would be amazing to talk with other one on "live," since it would be the only way to see each other "live face to face" u know? I mean, i would love to talk with my partner videochat if i would be in ldr. But maybe some people then just settle for writing. Does in ldr include lots of jealousy? Don't ypu fesr that your partner has "another life" irl, and with you online is another life?

As I said, every couple talks in a different way. Some talk only about emails, other only with whatsapp or just talk over the phone and other use the video chat.I’m happy for everyone, who have the chance to talk with their partner and in which way is absolutely not important. As long they are happy. ^^To your jealousy question…well, this is a difficult point. I can only tell you about how i see this.I’m pretty sure that in a ldr exist more jealousy as in usually relationships. Surely will say some people: “If you are jealous, then you don’t trust your partner” but this is stupid in my eyes. As example: I am a jealous person, always was and always will, but this don’t mean, that i don’t trust my girlfriend. It is kinda difficult to explain and as i already said, i am pretty sure that in every healthy relationships exist jealousy. It is nothing bad to be jealous as long it don’t start to be ugly. I have a favorite quote: “I’m not jealous, I’m territorial. Jealous is being envious of something you don’t have. Territorial is protecting what’s already yours” ^^Your last question is fast answered for me: I trust my girlfriend! In every way! Call me naive, but i trust her and a relationship don’t work without trust. No matter if this is a ldr or not. She have her own life of course, but in a harmless way like: talk with friends, go out with friends, do some other stuff and all this, but nothing more.And i am the same. I have my own life, like other couples too.

[minikate--24-05]

2 gorgeous cuties known as @onekisstotakewithme and @a-mi-zivi tagged me on this, here we go!

1. last drink: my one and only water 2. last phone call: lmao I called my brother from my room to his room cause he had forgotten something in mine...don’t judge me I was tired. 3. last text message: on the phone: whatsapp group chat with my uni friends; tumblr: onekisstotakewithme 4. last song you listened to: Gold by Jeff and Casey Lee Williams 5. last time you cried: some days ago because of this video that @itbloomedforyourlittlegirl posted some time ago. I’ve only seen it twice and I’ve always bawled. she’s awesome. 6. dated someone twice? I haven’t dated anyone 7. kissed someone and regretted it? I haven’t kissed anyone either 8. been cheated on? no 9. lost someone special? my grandpa, my great aunt. lee thompson young. carrie fisher.

10. been depressed? since about 5 months after my 15th birthday 11. gotten drunk and thrown up? dude I’ve only managed to get drunk once (lasted like 10 minutes) and it was because my friends kept filling my glass. no matter how much I drank it didn’t seem to be working so their objective that night was to get me drunk. I didn’t mind cause I wanted to know what it felt like (I had drunk with them other times, same amount, but nothing ever happened). that one time I didn’t throw up. (S, remember when we talked about that?). 

fave colors: 12. green 13: black 14: purple

in the last year have you… 15. made new friends? ya <3 16. fallen out of love? no 17. laughed until you cried? yes 18. found out someone was talking about you? I don’t think so 20. found out who your friends are? I like to think so 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? lmao I have no facebook

general 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? -- 23. do you have any pets? ask my mom 24. do you want to change your name? the only thing I’d change is the accent on my last name (Bagán). I never write it cause I hate it, I like Bagan better. 25. what did you do for your last birthday? uuuhhh yes I think I went to uni and my friends bought me a cake ^.^ 26. what time did you wake up today? 6:15 27. what were you doing at midnight last night? trying to sleep 28. what is something you can’t wait for? right now? for friday to get here already 30. what are you listening to right now? NCIS’ 2x08 Heart break 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? no 32. something thats getting on your nerves? noises. I’m super picky on that matter 33. most visited website: take a guess lmao 34. hair color: brown 35. long or short hair: I’m totally in love with long hair but, after 2 years of thorough thought, I have decided to cut it short, below my shoulders. I won’t do it for another 2-3 months tho cause my frrndo aka jubril25 has to braid it first. and do awesome stuff with it. I can’t just cut it, she’s been asking to do that forever and I’m so attached to my hair it’s crazy. 36. do you have a crush on someone: maybe 37. what do you like about yourself: my imagination, my ability to stay in bed/do nothing for hours, my NCIS knowledge regarding s1 and s2, my height. 38. want any piercings? not really 39. blood type: A+ 40. nicknames: you can stop reading if you want cause I feel like sharing them all: minikate, twin, peanut, mcgrandma, frrndo, pollito, pato, cuca, cuddle buddy, (cutie?), sensei. 41. relationship status: single

42. zodiac: taurus 43. pronouns: she/her 44. fave tv shows: still not ready to answer that. I’ll let you know when I wanna have a seizure. 45. tattoos: I want a small K (it’s linked to a lot of things that are important to me), and an earthbending sign. I don’t know when I’ll get them. 46. right or left handed: right 47. ever had surgery: no 48. piercings: just the usual here, my ears were pierced when I was a baby. 49. sport: I’ve played basketball since I was 6. I love watching hockey, athletism, swimming, rugby, american football, waterpolo...but I can’t watch a basketball match unless I know the result, I get too nervous. 50. vacation: somewhere cold. if you wanna come with me you better not make me see more than 2 things in one day. I’m a chill traveller. 51. trainers: black Element ones, and ones that are blue/grey and very comfy. and 2 basketball pairs. 1 running pair. 

more general 52. eating: not currently, just finished dinner 53. drinking: water, always. though my cuca doesn’t like it. how, anna, how??

54. watching? NCIS’ 2x08 Heart break

55. waiting for: this friday, next trimester, star wars IX, death 56. want: world peace, sleep, more visible abs and biceps (cause why not?) 57. get married: maybe someday, but first I gotta find my soulmate 58. career: I wanna be a general surgeon

which is better 59. hugs or kisses: hugs, duh 60. lips or eyes: eyes 61. shorter or taller: sorry, but taller. 62. older or younger: I don’t care, as long as he’s mature, geeky, loves me, and I love him 63. nice arms or stomach: stomach, I guess 64. hookup or relationship: relationship. 65. troublemaker or hesitant: definitely not a troublemaker, but not too hesitant cause then we’d never do anything, given that I’m super awkward and socially anxious

have you… 66. kissed a stranger: no 67. drank hard liquor: yes 68. lost glasses: never lost them (I can’t walk around without them/contacts so that wasn’t an option), but I broke 2 pairs 69. turned someone down: technically, yes 70. sex on first date: I’m ace; that’s a no 71. broken someone’s heart: no 72. had your heart broken: no

73. been arrested: no 74. cried when someone died: I was too young when my great aunt died, so no. I cried for my grandpa, carrie fisher and lee thompson young. [[SPOILERS: and kate. and paula cassidy. and pyrrha. and jasper jordan. and lincoln. and when I thought Marcus Kane was dead cause the 100 writers are assholes sometimes. and fred weasley, tonks, and remus. and when orphan black writers decided to dedicate a whole season to beth childs and ended it with her death. and MK. and kendall malone. and S. and lexie grey and mark sloan]] as you can see I get too attached to fictional characters.  75. fallen for a friend: no

do you believe in 76. yourself: no 77. miracles: mmmm more like coincidences (sorry Gibbs, boss) 78. love at first sight: pfff maybe 79. santa claus: no 80. kiss on a first date: if there’s feeling, yes 81. angels: no

other 82. best friends name: omg I hope I don’t forget anyone ayee...cesc, Alex, Judith, Anna, Abi. I love you all, dorks xx 83. eye color: green/brown

84. fave movie: *nervous laughter* 85. fave actor: hmmm...Tatiana Maslany (SHE SHOULD’VE BEEN JYN ERSO. FIGHT ME.). Ewan McGregor. Sasha Alexander. Stana Katic. Daisy Ridley. Jim Parsons. 

I tag: @jubril25 @kates-coming-home @dundermifflin-jam @weissschnee-tm? if you wanna do it

[wannawrite]

admin n is bored: a series // h.j.s ft l.d.h

hello friends !! so ive been really MIA despite the holidays and i apologise bc i've been having writer's block. ive tried doing your reqs like 7 to 8 times by now and all of the drafts suck HAHAHA but i promise i'll work on it! anyway, this 'admin N is bored' thingy is to let y'all know that i'm still alive whoop ;;; here's some honk jisho ft. younghee (carats' old name) ft. hwihwi !!! i'll be deciding if i want to continue this as a series or not bc this is just for fun hehehe i hope you enjoy,,,,it's the only good thing i've wrote in a long long time !

________________

Lee Daehwi: Younghee, is this you?

You: daehwi? isn't this your number from a week ago? and you lost your phone...

You: wait, who are YOU? what are you doing with my friend's phone? give it back!

Lee Daehwi: I'm not going to call you or anything, I promise. I know you're worried and scared for your Friend and I'm sorry for this...I didn't want to do this either, and I know you don't trust me, but I just want one answer from you, please?

You: i don't trust you. i'm blocking and reporting, and telling daehwi. bye.

Lee Daehwi: If there was a beautiful, love spreading place you couldn't reach over a certain mindset, but you'd yearn to go there, what would you do?

You: you're weird. don't try chatting me up.

Lee Daehwi: I'm not trying to, really younghee. If you won't give me a response, it's fine. I don't want to harass you either. Sleep well tonight. Good evening.

now, joshua's eyes are beautiful. and when I say beautiful, I mean prettily angled, down turned eyes, caramel brown irises bursting with youth and energy. the various shades of brown are like a warm cup of silky hot chocolate for the eyes belonging to a certain other-it's a transitory evocation of soft, warm blankets, relaxing and soothing every fibre of your skin; simply everything pleasant. the little fold of skin under his eyes brings a hint of rosiness. from a little afar it looks like a smooth, dulcet curve of crescendos and decrescendos becoming one-always thicker around the middle, painting an aura of demurity and submissiveness. it compliments his healthy skin tone, a lovely shade of peaches and cream.

putting it bluntly-his eyes were practically the best eye candy you could ever wish for.

(see what i did there wink wonk)

however, today, those irises glimmer dully under the pristin(e), snowcapped illumination of the bedroom light, like a lamp's glow at its lowest. the curve under his eyes drops its dulcetly demure facet for tonight-doing nothing but prominently protruding those sagging, dark rimmed eye bags.

ah, what saliently regretful results of the lack of sleep, coursing down to the root of an uninvited dilemma. actually, no, scratch that, he shouldn't be blaming others for his own dilemma, and if anything, he should be blaming his cowardly mindset.

the string of words in the bible doesn't exactly speak to him tonight. the faith that those words were alive was still there-

just that, he wasn't exactly

alive.

his finger hovers above the off button.

WhatsApp

You have 1 notification.

You: i guess, it wouldn't hurt to give you a piece of advice if you're not hurting me

No reply. Ha, what a guy.

You: but if you really wanted to reach that place, you'd have tried every way, to get there. do you really want it? you don't seem very convinced, daehwi.

pink lips fleetingly angle up. no upswept movement of the cheekbones, just a simple, casual little smirk which finally lets loose a few laughs. a hint of vibrance was definitely coming back, however in little waves.

baby steps. that would be fine.

Lee Daehwi: Ah; so I'm not an imposter anymore, younghee?

You: oh shut up.

You: what's your name, anyway?

Lee Daehwi: It's a secret. You can always call me Daehwi for now ;)))))

You: is there someone out there with the same name as you? if there is it's not that revealing really,,,,also, i'm not calling you daehwi like pls my friend doesn't deserve this SLANDER ;-;

Lee Daehwi: Probably...My name is quite common haha. But younghee, you know me irl so I practically know everything about you >_<

You: how can I confirm you're not a stalker? huh?

Lee Daehwi: Hmm...Tell you what. Daehwi knows that I'm messaging you through here. Ask him tomorrow 💕💕💕

You: can you stop sending hearts you're such a cliché smh i'm going to block this number if daehwi doesn't know about this

Lee Daehwi: Ah, so you prefer jeojangs? HAHAHA I'm joking ;D It's okay, I won't be messaging you anymore anyway 😉

his stinging eyes, strained from the long hours on his phone flutter shut.

the lair to wildest imagination is an endless void, and after an action-packed day of being shunned, it finally gets more attention than it really needs. the first step he takes into the lair are a cacophony of unknown, feminine voices heralding him in waves...

do you really want it?

do you really want it?

ah, the feeling of a little shard of ice cutting through a patch of smile flowers, littered across a lushy green field.

do you really want it?

giggles, the last bit of childlike happiness in him snagged away, leaves him in rather deafening silence. heavy breaths start escaping his lips, sharp, hoarse inhales piercing the night. they speed up like pent up tension in a little tide, gradually evolving to more than something harmless.

the thing is, tides could be offloaded on beaches.

panic attacks, well...they couldn't.

horribly in sync with the incessant string of words yakking at his brain and gobbling at his sanity, his shoulders shift up and down in consistent rhythms as he unleashes the anxiety beating against his heart in waves of pained, ear-splitting screeches. the words clasp open his heart, tunneling a wonky crack through it and when the fact that the bedroom light isn't off dawns onto his dark, battered pools of sorrow, desperately clinging onto the wavering facade that someone would spare their time for his potentially ineffacious cries of help, the warm, buttery hue suddenly splashes onto himself, illuminating on his flaws and insecurities. stinging sensations start to crawl up his fingers.

he can't hold onto the honeycapped facade any longer.

finally, the courage to perform doesn't arrive, but rather the courage to let go is called out.

he frees his hands from their eternal suffering, the cacophony of lies and despair, and all that's left of him are shards of unclothed, undeniable flaws, thrown naked into the light.

the calm after the storm

can never be the same.

Lee Daehwi: Wanting is one thing. Doing it is another.

so much for baby steps.

Last seen at 1:45 am

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

A very efficient guide to not wasting your time while online dating

In our Love App-tually series, Mashable shines a light into the foggy world of online dating. It is cuffing season after all. 

Let's be real: Ain't nobody got time to waste on online dating. Yet for busy single people, dating apps and websites feel like a necessary evil to meeting people. How else are you going to do it? 

But if you're not careful, finding suitable partners (whether for the long- or short-term) in an endless sea of digital fish can turn into a full-time job. And if you're already working a 9-5 (or worse), you'll quickly want to give up.

Take it from an accidental expert: There are plenty of tips and tricks to better navigate the potentially time-sucking world of online dating. 

Our advice comes with a caveat, though. Ultimately, there's no definitive rule book for online dating. Above all, it's about learning what works for you. Here are 10 ways you can start:

1. Know which app will fulfill your specific dating needs

Sounds basic, but this is essential stuff: There are so many options on the market right now, and each has a different vibe and purpose that attracts a different crowd — from DTF hookups on Tinder to the more longterm aspirations of OkCupid.

We won't go into the subcultures of each dating app here, especially since they often change over time. But do some research to determine which is best suited for what you want out of dating.

2. Don't put too much stock (or time or effort) into online chemistry

It's tempting to get your hopes up when you start chatting with a match and find a text-message-meet-cute straight out of a rom-com. But here's the cold, hard truth: Online chemistry often has zero correlation to IRL chemistry. 

There's a whole host of factors that lead you to be attracted to someone that you cannot gleam from text exchanges. You could waste days or even weeks getting to know someone online, then be devastated to realize within a minute of meeting IRL that the spark just isn't there. 

On top of all that, if you spend too much time getting to know each other before meeting up, you've likely built expectations and a concept of this person that can't live up to the real thing. 

Of course, you don't want to go in blind. So to actually see if an IRL date will be worth your time, we suggest you ...

Who even has time to keep texting someone they don't know?

Image: vicky leta / mashable 

3. Request a quick video chat before meeting up

I know, gross — actual human interaction? 

To millennials who have panic attacks at even the idea of a phone call (hi, it me), this sounds like an impossible task. But actually, an awkward three-minute video chat is much better than sinking hours into an awkward real-life date.

A lot of factors go into attraction that you can't pick up on through photos or even texting. So be bold; ask if they're up for a quick video chat to see if you're both into taking the IRL plunge.

SEE ALSO: Looking for love on campus: Best dating apps for college students

Don't be a creep about the way you ask, like suggesting it as a way to avoid getting catfished. Just acknowledge it may be a bit awk but — hey — you read online that it's a good first step! So why not give it a shot?

Also, if you're worried about giving out your actual phone number or Skype info to strangers, use apps like Kik or WhatsApp.

4. For icebreakers, try one of the famed 36 questions

Regardless of whether it happens on video or IRL, the pressure of trying to make meaningful conversation happen between two strangers is real. So why not start with one (or many) of these 36 questions scientifically designed to help strangers get to know each other quickly?

These questions come from a psychological study by Dr. Arthur Aron, made famous by the New York Times' Modern Love column. And wouldn't ya know, they actually kind of really work.

We know what you're thinking. Isn't it a little summer camp counselor to ask a list of getting to know you questions? It doesn't have to feel that way. If you have chemistry, the questions will only serve as jumping off points for more natural conversation. If you don't, well, better to find it out sooner rather than later.

Just float the idea casually. You can even use it as a way to acknowledge the inherent weirdness and awkwardness of first dates, so why not test this thing you read in the New York Times?

Worst case scenario, your date is impressed that you read the New York Times. Best case scenario, you get to know each other fast and learn whether or not you're a good match.

Repeat after us: Profiles are not people.

Image: vicky leta / Mashable

5. Many people who make bad profiles are actually awesome dates

There's a tendency to make quick judgements based on a person's profile, and that can feel like a time saver. But actually, your assumptions can lead you to miss out on matches that are worthwhile.

People aren't profiles. And profiles that come across as trying too hard, or seeming cheesy, or arrogant, or just not that interesting, can be indicative of someone who's simply new to online dating.

In reality, those who are bad at branding themselves for an online dating service can absolutely still make for great dates. If anything, you should be more suspect of someone with a perfectly curated online dating persona.

So be lenient when it comes to minor faux pas, like mirror selfies or the dreaded fish pic. It's most important to trust your gut and at least give 'em a chance to impress in other ways. There are better ways of determining if someone will be worth your time, like ...

6. Do your research

It can't hurt to know more about your date than what they are willing to put on their profile. So there's no shame in doing a quick Google search before committing any more of your time. 

A recent study found that 76 percent of people spend around 15 minutes on pre-date research. You might want to do a Google image search on their pictures to make sure they are who they say they are (or if their name is too common for a regular search). 

It's not creeping if it's about staying safe and knowing what you're getting into!

However, take most of what you learn with a grain of salt, because (again) the people we are online are often vastly different to who we are in person.

7. Don't be afraid to ask to meet up IRL early on

A lot of online dating interactions die on the vine of people being too scared to make the first move to suggest a next step, whether that's a video chat or real-life date.

If you're a person with limited time and energy to spend on the whole online dating thing, it's even more likely for conversation to peter out. What could've been a great date that'd save you from spending more time on these awful apps is instead a total waste of your already limited resources.

There are no set rules of engagement, so don't get stuck in that limbo. Just go for it when it feels appropriate. And if you're worried about seeming creepy or overeager, explain how you're bad at keeping up with the app and prefer to make concrete plans.

Usually your potential date will feel relieved that someone's taking charge in the uncertain world of online dating. Just make sure you don't frame the suggestion in a way that makes them feel pressured or rushed.  

Take online dating offline as soon as possible.

Image: bob al-greenE / Mashable

8. Pick a go-to spot near you for quick first meet-ups

Do not — I repeat, do not — commit to a full dinner date the first time you're meeting a stranger. 

For all the reasons listed above, it's pretty impossible to know whether someone you met online will work out, no matter how much you vet or research ahead of time. And, boy, there's nothing more painful than sitting through a full-course meal out of politeness.

Instead, have a streamlined process for quick IRL meet-and-greets. Pick a bar or coffee shop near you as a go-to first date suggestion. Aside from saving time, it's also comforting to meet a complete stranger on your turf.

Before meeting, you can even slip in the set up for an excuse to cut things short if it's going nowhere fast. We've found luck with claims of a busy work week, or a pet or friend who hasn't been feeling well. 

Make sure your go-to spot is conducive to getting to know each other: Choose bars that aren't too loud or have open tables. Certain places can even make for good ice breakers. A go-to with eclectic art decor, for example, is a perfect way to start a conversation about your date's taste.

9. Dating is not necessarily a numbers game, but practice helps

By now we're familiar with the cold calculation that dating (especially of the online variety) is a numbers game. You have a statistically better chance of finding what you want by going on as many dates as possible.

That's a double-edged sword, though, because going on a bunch of lousy dates will likely only lead to fatigue and an existential crisis. However, it is true that dating is a skill that takes practice.

So don't treat people like numbers. But do view every date as a potential learning experience. Sure, putting yourself out there more means a higher risk of bad dates. But that's exactly how you learn what you like and don't like, and how to avoid it next time.

Bad dates help you recognize dealbreakers. For example, you might find that people who describe themselves as "entrepreneurs" tend to use that as a fancy way of saying "unemployed and living off my parents' money." 

Next time, it's a hard swipe left. 

10. Be clear and upfront about what you're on the market for

This one applies to all dating, whether on- or offline. It's also one of the hardest rules to follow. 

We cannot stress enough how much time you save by establishing early on what you're looking for. That doesn't mean you have to declare you're on the hunt for a FWB or life partner (please don't do that). Just frame the subject in terms of mutual respect and open communication.

When you broach the subject, stress that you're bringing it up to make sure you're both on the same page, rather than trying to pressure them into committing or keeping it casual. Even choosing the right platform (see point #1) can help do a lot of this work for you.

WATCH: Why it's worth taking the leap and meeting your Tinder match IRL

[kendrixtermina]

“Can’t help it” - NT conversations

So me (INTP) and my younger sister, whom I affectionately call Sabbel (INTJ) were casuall chatting over WhatsApp, and... it has to be seen to be believed.

(Warning, deliberately inappropiate jokes galore)

INTJ: I see the plants you get as gifts still live

INTP: Yes aren't they cute?                          The plants I mean                         My babies 🌵

INTJ:Yes they are cute. Though it's sad that they can't hear you

INTP: 🍄🌾💐🌷🌹🥀🌻🌼🌸🌺🎄🌲🌳🌴🌱                         If they can't hear me, they can't think I'm an annoying smartass hermit             Besides plants communicate & sense a lot more than they're given credit for     Not those plants probably tho                         But that nice smell of fresh mown grass?                         That are actually stress response chemicals                         So they are SCREAMING

INTJ:  INTP!                         HOW DARE YOU                         They are not animals                         So they don't scream                         They do seek help                         And alert the rest

INTP *quoting GITS 2 “innocence*: "Blessed are those who have a voice"

INTJ:  But they don't screem                         Scewam*                         Scream*                         That' s biological appropriation, sis

INTP:  But what IS a scream? Is it just a noise? Then how can I DO THIS WITH CAPSLOCK?                        

INTJ: That's not ok                        

INTP: Or how can it be saved on a hard disk in a horror movie?                        

INTJ: Don't just force your human behaviour and habits onto them                         INTJ: They are not screaming so don't call it that                         INTJ: That's offensive to plants                        

INTP: Who says they aen't? The plants?         

                INTJ: And while they will not take offense that is a really bad excuse                         INTP:  If anything you're speaking for them;                         INTP: The plants are just saying "Tannins!"                         INTP: And whatever other molecules they use XD                        

INTJ: Thats's like  giving a blind person the finger and saying they won't notice anhways                        

INTP:  But see thats the point its kinda a philosophical question                        

INTJ: Saying that they are screaming is  usingscreaming as a metaphor to human use them                        

INTP:  If a tree falls down all alone, did it really happem?                         INTP: (* Im just being derpy right now just ignore me *)                         INTP:  Don't take my silly plant jokes they're ALL I HAVE in my empty meaningless existence                        

INTJ:  Because we can't properly perceive it with our senses we just force the verb of a sense on to it                        

INTP:  its called a METAPHOR stupid                        

INTJ: Yes                       

INTP:  or expanding the meaning of the word, not forcing the original one                         INTJ: Metaphors because of convenience                        

INTP: we all know plants dont literally scream                         INTP: because... we'd hear it                        

INTJ:  No                         INTP:  except if it as really quiet                         INTP: or ultrasound                       

INTJ: Maybe they's do it on a frequency we can't hear                        

INTP: / different frequencies          

 but you still get the point                         INTJ: Sis                    INTJ: If anything it should be called producing chemicals for help                       INTJ: Or smelling /  stinking for help                         INTJ: Or well to alarm                         INTJ: But we use scream                        

INTP: else we couldnt say that bad things "suck" because they dont liteally suck on anything like our abstract thoughts have long since surpassed our physical reference frames                         INTP:  we can make up shit like inacessible cardinals                       

INTJ: Because humans don't smell for help but scream for help                          Even though smell is more accurate                                    

INTP: But a scream is not just sound (or data, or text), it's an expression of something                        

INTJ: Sis, Things suck because they suck all the fun out of your life         

INTP: good one                        

INTJ: And , occasionaly , your should                          Soul*                        

INTP: or drugs dont make you literally float up high                        

INTJ: Yeah but when we talk about drugs we usually talk about psychotropic ones                        

INTP: what a word rignally meant matters only for disambiguation purposes - doesn't make sense to talk when you mean different things by it                        

INTJ: Which make you mentally high                          /  feel lighter m float , high                        

INTP: but what is "mentally high"?                         INTJ: Some                         Like most don't                         But some do                         INTP: it has nothing to do with physical high-ness its just a metaphor                 because we associate high with positve                             a non bipedal anima would see it all different                 

INTJ: Sis, I am gonna insist in bs for arguments sake                         0Accept it                         I love common up with ridiculous exagerated arguments                         INTP: well me to                         * too                         INTJ: Big Sis  ❤                         INTP:  we can fight all day about whose bs wins but its an arbitrary deffinitional issue in the end - just like "high", "screams" or math                         language is a tool                         its correct use is somewhat dependant on your purpose                         ppl make new jargon for new puposes all the time                         obsly there are limits - if only you defne a word one way you're not gonna do much useful communicating                         but it is a tool                         also, i heart you too                         BTW did you know that Dolphins use pufferfish to get high? They even pss them around                         Pufferbong                         I just read an article on tumblr

Besides I just realized this "don't call it human things" is such a typical 5w6 thing XD                        

 (I apologize)                         INTJ: Sis                     Male dolphins also rape  other male dolphines to assert their supremacy           So like I'm alpha dolphin you are unde rme in the hierarchy                         So I will rape you    So you feel bad and are afraid of me               INTP: Dolphins are horrible people                         INTJ:   Yeah                         INTP: They also torture tortoises for fun & profit                         INTJ: Raping stoners                         INTP: Good thing im not a tortoie OR Dolphin                         INTP: XD                         INTJ: The mexicans of the ocean XD             

INTJ:  I'M SORRY                        

INTP: *laughing tears emoji*                         INTJ: I'M SORRY                         INTJ: #  the ocean second                         INTP: Im doing that emoji IRL right now                         Don't compare the poor mexicans with those devilish Dolphins                         It would be far more accurate to compare Dolphins to duck                         *Ducks                         INTJ: 🐬🦆                         INTJ: But Sis, we already did biology jokes                         I wanted to mark political jokes                         Make*

INTP : We are all going to hell XD                          😈🔥⚡☄

[deadlyanddelicate]

92 TRUTHS TAG GAME rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!

I was tagged by @hestlias, thanks bb! <3 putting this under a cut for length, here we go:

LAST… [1] drink: fennel herbal tea [2] phone call: facetime with my parents [3] text message: claire @mishcollin on text, ambra @silkspectred on whatsapp <3 [4] song you listened to: omg i had like... a super cheesy 80s playlist on streaming, so i think it was ‘total eclipse of the heart’ [5] time you cried: lol probably when i watched the merlin finale for the second time

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: listen i barely get to date people once [7] been cheated on: not that i know of [8] kissed someone and regretted it: no [9] lost someone special: yes [10] been depressed: YEP [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: nope (i do get tipsy/drunk, but never to the point of sickness)

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] blue [13] violet [14] pale pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yes [16] fallen out of love: amazingly, i think i finally have [17] laughed until you cried: no [18] found out someone was talking about you: i don’t think so? [19] met someone who changed you: not in any drastic way, i don’t think [20] found out who your true friends are: yes...ish, or to be more precise -- i was lucky enough to have it confirmed again i have amazing friends to count on, but i’ve also fallen out of touch with people whom i still consider friends, so... who knows, man, who knows [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: lol nope

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i don't know half of them half as well as i should like, and i like less than half of them half as well as they deserve (ok but on the real, i think i know most of them irl, i’m kind of a picky fb adder) [23] do you have any pets: no but i really want a cat :( [24] do you want to change your name: no [25] what did you do for your last birthday: went out to dinner with my closest friends, then out for drinks with them and some university buddies [26] what time did you wake up: around 11am, but in my defence i was up till 4am working on a thesis chapter [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: working on my dissertation sob :))))) [28] name something you cannot wait for: i don’t have any big events coming up, but it would be super nice to meet some internet friends irl :’) [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: yesterday morning, she was visiting for the weekend ♥️ [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i would like to actually have the willpower and focus to work on things when and how much i want to/need to [31] what are you listening to right now: nothing [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: ...i actually don’t think i have [33] something that is getting on your nerves: mansplaining, racism, bigotry, ~men’s rights activists, american politics, uk politics, rape culture, heteronormATIVITY, BI ERASURE, THE PATRIARCHY--- [34] most visited website: either my university webmail, or some combo of twitter/facebook [35] elementary: sorta lonely [36] high school: once i was asked if i was a devil worshipper bc i was wearing fishnet gloves [37] college: interesting, challenging, but also fREE ME :))) [38] hair colour: naturally v dark brown, shaded auburn [39] long or short hair: short, trying to grow it out (we’ll see how long i last) [40] do you have a crush on someone: not really, though this one professor at my uni is fine as hell [41] what do you like about yourself? i try to be kind, i’ve got nice eyes, some people find my dry/nerdy sense of humour funny. sometimes i make words happen in a not-too-bad way

[42] piercings: ears (2 left, 1 right)

[43]blood type: A-

[44] nickname: none [45] relationship status: single and often not in the mood to mingle [46] zodiac sign: aquarius [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: currently i’m slightly obsessed with merlin >> i also greatly enjoy brooklyn nine nine, new girl, parks and recreation, and jane the virgin [49] tattoos: none but i’m considering getting one shhh it’s a secret [50] right or left handed: right-handed

FIRST… [51] surgery: never had one (fingers crossed) [52] piercing: oh boy, i think i was like 11? [53] best friend: i don’t think i really have one best friend, currently, but i do have an irl #squad of 3 amazing ladies and we’d probably help each other bury bodies (ok maybe not quite but u get me) [54] sport: LMAO (ok no i actually really want to start yoga but....... i’m so lazy.........) [55] vacation: yes please [56] pair of trainers: uhh currently just a really comfy pair of trainers from an italian brand?

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing [58] drinking: still fennel tea [59] i’m about to: probably queue some posts on tumblr, watch a few youtube videos, and then sleep [60] listening to: ~the sound of silence~ (literally, not the song) [61] waiting for: me to finally get my life together and stop being a disorganised trainwreck [62] want: to be happy, or at least content with where i’m at. also, to write. [63] get married: would be nice, but not a priority/necessity [64] career: as long as it pays the bills and is not mind-numbingly boring, i’m up for anything

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: hugs [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller [68] older or younger: irrelevant as long as the age difference isn’t extreme [69] romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous [70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive [72] hook up or relationship: relationships [73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? no [75] drank hard liquor? yes [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? i would probably be dead if i had [77] turned someone down: yes [78] sex on first date? no [79] broken someone’s heart? one person, probably [80] had your own heart broken? yes [81] been arrested? no [82] cried when someone died? yes [83] fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? sometimes (rarely) [85] miracles? yes [86] love at first sight? i believe in infatuation at first sight; love takes time to build [87] santa claus? no [88] kiss on the first date? depends on how it goes! [89] angels? yes, though not necessarily ones with fluffy wings and halos

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: don’t have just one best friend, but the group chat of my main girls is labeled ‘boss ass bitches’, which is hilarious because we are in fact 4 gigantic nerds [91] eye colour: hazel [92] favourite movie: stardust for feel-good movie, the lotr trilogy for epicness

i’m super sorry i’m literally exhaUSTED but this was fun!!! so please go ahead and steal it ♥️

[lost-your-memory]

100 questions

So I was tagged by @writerinthedarkabyss so here’s my take at this. 1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

Nope

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

I’m not sure I’m there yet but I will forgive them, eventually.

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

My six cats, wanting food

4: What’s something you really want right now?

Peace of mind would be nice

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

Not afraid no, but certainly not looking forward too. It’s a mess.

6: Do you like the beach?

It’s a tricky question. I love the sea and the ocean but I don’t like sand beaches. I’m all for cliffs with nice edges. 

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

Yeah, in every meaning of the term.

8: What’s the background on your cell?

A Supercorp picture, I changed my theme recently and I haven’t find a nice Supercat one yet.

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

Mine, my sister’s, my grand mother’s and an hotel’s one.

10: Do you like your phone?

HELL YEAH, I bought it for the camera and it’s LIT.

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

Ah. No.

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

Probably the one of a Tumblr buddy, to chat on Whatsapp

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

Rottweiler. I don’t like tiny yappy dog.

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Emotional pain. I am pretty insensitive when it comes to physical pain and it doesn’t last. Emotional pain leaves invisible scars that never heals. 

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

Both is good but it depends of what kind of museum, to be honest.

16: Are you tired?

I just woke up but it’s going to be a long day ...

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

Forever.

18: Are they a relative?

Yeah, it’s my mother. She’s my savior.

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

Been there, done that, never again.

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

A few weeks ago but it was a bet and it didn’t mean anything, we just laughed.

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

Nope. I don’t believe in marriage and anywa, if I’m happy without, then no.

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I wouldn’t mind, since it was a bet. She’s a great kisser.

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

Just my watch, if it counts.

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

“Ne prenez pas la vie au sérieux ; de toute façon, vous n'en sortirez pas vivant.” - Bernard Fontenelle (Roughly translated into English : Don’t take like too seriously, you won’t get out alive no matter what)

25: What’s on your mind?

Domestical chores, Supercat prompts, a thesis I need to finish and thoughts about getting a job.

26: Do you have any tattoos?

None.

27: What is your favorite color?

Navy blue

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

Whenever it happens, I guess

29: Who are you texting?

I’m not texting at the moment but I’m part of a supercat groupchat and they are all awesome.

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

Uh ... I think so? Either a couch or the floor next to one.

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

Story of my life.

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

I do.

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I have literally NO IDEA.

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yeah, it happens on a regular basis. I don’t know why, my eyes are pretty much ordinary.

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

I would totally cheer. 

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

Yeah

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

Friend is a big word but yeah we get along.

38: What do your friends call you?

Gane.

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

UGH. PEOPLE. 

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

Uh ... Maybe, but if I did it was good tears. 

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

Around my left knee.

42: What is it from?

I bumped into the side of a door. It hurts.

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

Two months ago I think, when I went through something of a depression.

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My sister, I was telling her where to wait so I could pick her up.

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Yes, an old pair of All Stars blue Converses that I have for like 8 years now.

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

I only wear a hat in summer, to protect my head from the sun.

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

Buh. No idea. Probably not?

48: Do you make supper for your family?

I can’t really be trusted in a kitchen, aside for making desserts or breakfast.

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

What kind of question is that. Yeah.

50: Top 3 web-pages?

Tumblr, AO3 and probably Deezer or Google Doc at the moment.

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Myself. Unless it’s for books or video games. 

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

I have a sore leg and backpain but it’s nothing abnormal for me.

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

Nah. It usually means I’m going to enjoy coming back.

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

Uh ... Water, I think? Or orange juice maybe.

55: How is your hair?

Clear brown, with lighter strands here and there. Not long but not pixie short either. 

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

Groan. Check my phone. Groan again. Force myself to get up and then have breakfast.

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

I don’t, not in this world anyway.

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

I was 16 ... Probably not, then.

59: Green or purple grapes?

Both is good.

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

I a few weeks maybe, when I will see my grandma again.

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

Nah I like where I am but I wouldn’t mind being traveling the world. 

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

Probably this afternoon, going to pick up the sister again.

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

In front of my computer, writing or pretending to do so.

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

Having breakfast with my mother.

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

Yeah. I wasn’t single then.

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

If cats count, then yes. If not, probably my mother.

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

Not yet but it’s still early.

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I was honored and excited about an upcoming collaboration.

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Yep, story of my life.

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

Right now, 8 but it’s because I’m doing research.

71: How many fingers do you have?

I don’t care what they say, thumbs are fingers so 10.

72: What is your ringtone?

My phone is on vibrate mode all the time.

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

Still 25, on the verge of turning 26.

74: Where is your Mum right now?

Downstairs, getting started with the chores. 

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

Because life happened. She’s still around as a dear friend tho.

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

Oof, yeah.

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

Unfortunately no. Well, some of them are still around but the most important ones left. 

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

... IRL crush, yeah. Virtual crushes, like too many to remember no.

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

Nope.

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

Yes but I usually do the spooning. 

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

Four or five, something like that.

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

Yes and two people actually tried to steal mine. 

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

... Uh ... I don’t know.

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

My friends or my sister and her boyfriend, they are the party people around.

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

I would care and I would try to help until I’m forced to remove myself from the picture. It happened and well, it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes. You have to.

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

I was with a kid and she was scared so she climbed onto my lap and cuddled with me. It was sweet. 

87: Who was your last received call from?

My mom, to tell me to get downstairs. She is downstairs.

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

This is sick and no.

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

Hum. Wisdom.

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

Yeah.

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

Hell no, not even in summer, mosquitos are MEAN.

92: Do you get along with girls?

Oh gosh. 

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

Nope, not anymore.

94: Does sex mean love?

That’s hilarious. No.

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

... Again, no, since it was a bet and I actually like the girl.

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

No.

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

If cats count, then no but if not, yeah I slept alone.

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

Yeah, cats and books and musics and sometimes, just looking by the windows can cheer me up.

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

No.

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promised?

What am I, 5? Alright, that was looong and hard. I’m tagging @catherinegrant, @2009121723 and @lenaluthhor and of course anyone else who want to play ♥

[elle-smells]

hola bestie, how have you beennn? how have you 🐝n? how have you bean? i was thinking the other day (gotta use that braincell once in a while y’know?) and like...my family already seems to know there’s something not so straight about me soooo maybe i should just go ahead and buy a huge ass bi flag and hang it in my room to just get it over with? to just confirm it and all. my friend also gave me this idea the other day that i should create this family group chat on whatsapp called “closet” and be like “surprise bitches i’m gay!” and then leave.

none of these ideas are original i know, but i have no creativity whatsoever. if you got any other ideas, i’m all ears.

anygays (as u legend would say) hope you’re having a great day, love you, byeeee

-🌹

HI BESTIE 😊😘 It's been a good week tbh just lots of group assignments (literally 🔫) jshdhshs I see you're doing well, you wanna come out in a not so traditional way? Very iconic of you anon (and I'm proud of you too 💗💜💙) Honestly those ideas sound great, I love the group chat one for comedic effect ksjdbd I mean, I came out to people irl by posting a Bi Pun (yeah u read that right) on Instagram stories so that's my little contribution dkdhdbdb (originally I wanted to bake a cake with the bi flag on top and give it to my parents) dude whatever you decide to do it will be great I'm sure mwuuuahh stay hydrated <3