#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one

[dots-in-my-head]

[megumi-fm]

.

[reminiscentrainclouds]

You guys ever feel trapped? Yea I'm well-acquainted with the feeling of being trapped.

[sweet-drmzzz]

wowowowow I’m finally doing a pinned post

DO NOT SENT ME DONATION REQUESTS THEY WILL BE DELETED

i have my reasons for this, among them being that i am just not comfortable with it.

(also we're working on updating this lmao ^^)

Hiya!! My names are Z-Fey, and Faele (pronounced fey-elle)!! I am the host of a median collective, and this is my/our main blog. You can find our plural side blog here: @treehousearchive

I go by Fae/Zi/It/They pronouns, and idrc how the grammar around them works (so you could say “fae are a person with adhd” or “fae is a person with adhd.” Please use my neopronouns as much as, if not more than you use they/it

if you misgender me I’ll eat ur knees /hj

I am faekin and foxkin, and I’m absolutely amazing at it. Don’t try to disprove alterhuman shit. I won’t listen. Also keep any alterhuman discourse off this blog. All nonhumans are welcome here. Yes even physical ones. Yes even ones that truly believe they are an animal. Yes even mentally ill/delusional ones.

Collectively we are aspec and arospec. Afaik that goes for everyone in our collective but I could be wrong.

currently I don’t check my discord, if you need to reach me my asks and DMs on here are the fastest ways.

I use a lot of emoticons, abbreviations, and tone tags :3

tone tag key:

/lh- light hearted

/j- joking

/hj- half joking

/sarc- sarcasm

/nm- not mean

/nf- not forced

/gen- genuine

/aesth- aesthetic (used to describe aesthetic attraction. Ex. “He’s hot /aesth”

if I ever use one u don’t understand just ask! I’m more then willing to inform!

DNI:

Pedos. Like genuinely. Pedos maps etc fucking disgust me. Stay tf away from my blog

Zionist. Yeah nuhuh. If u support genocide I don’t want to talk to u.

Homophobes/Transphobes. I’m gay asf. I don’t think you want to be here.

Zoophiles. No. Just no.

Anti furry/Anti alterhuman. Once again. I’m a therian. Y would u want to be here???

Sexual/kink blogs. Nothing against you, have ur fun. Idrc. I’m just not comfy w that.

Anti-endos. I don’t want that negativity on my blog. All good vibes here.

If you demonize mental illnesses (like schizophrenia or npd) fuck off. If you use “delulu” or treat serious mental illnesses as silly little things fuck off.

Anti aro/aspec. This shouldn’t even be a thing? Just let people exist?

if I don’t like u I’ll block u.

With all due respect, which is none, leave me alone.

Tags!!

#Happy Fox Hours

Foxkin euphoria and just generally happy foxkin related stuff

#Happy Fae Hours

Second verse, same as the first but w fae stuff this time.

#Zi speak!!

text posts and me ranting

#Soda Spill

My writing. Includes poetry and short stories/snippets from bigger stories. (Please note that since originally making this I have stopped using the name Soda, as that has gone to one of my headmates. This tag may change soon.)

#Faele agrees

Rebolgs!! I might forget to tag my rebolgs. I’ll try my best but if I do my apologies.

#Sad bitch time

vents n stuff. Me being depressed.

Boundaries: mostly im fine with anything.

pls don’t tag me in angelic/religious stuff, or send it to me. Especially if it has eyes featured prominently.

uhh i feel like this shouldn’t need to be said but just in case: foxes are a game animal where I live. I already see my kind’s hides enough. Don’t show me pics of that.

just yk… if i ask u to quit do so please. There’s nothing rly big other than those two things that I can think of. Be nice.

My filter tag list is here. If you are intentionally rude and disrespectful about it you will be blocked.

I have a side blog for Will wood stuff called @willwooddaily

thank you for your time!!

(userbox by @/plural-userboxes)

[z4ch111]

HELLO!1!1!! im "zach"

Intro post! Or whatever

Hello! Im "zach". You can call me " tulio", "tutolio" or simply "zach" (the preferable ones, but you can also call me by my actual username, for example "kaski" "loop" "zacharie" and the list continues)

I use any pronouns "" with no preferences"" (wizard), im a cis guy who's probably pansexual, i dont really know.

Im also autistic! (I dont think anyone cares at all)

DNI FOLKS:

Homophobic/transphobic people

Pedophile/zoofile people

Antifurry people

And idk how to keep the list, but i will block if i dont like you and thats all.

Lets just keep going

Currently obsessed with: in stars and time, clone drone in the danger zone, battleblock theater, off rpg and daniel mullins games

series that i like: the owl house, evangelion, dr house (and many other doctors series) and amphibia

WARNINGS! (or just bad things in general)

i usally post about sensitive topics such as suicide, self harm and not that usually, mental illness.

so if you are VERY sensitive to these topics, dont interact. i will not change the things i discuss. (normally they are mentioned on drawings i make)

i normally do not discuss about politics, almost never actually.

i am a VERY positive person, even if i have trauma, bad experiences and sometimes i can be sad/exhausted.

normally i draw when im sad/exhausted, or simply because im bored.

the drawings i make can touch (again) sensitive topics.

and also i DONT put warnings on my sensitive content, so be careful or simply dont look at my blog.

EHEM

i usally tags my drawings by "#drawings"....not that complex. i tag my "vents" as "#zachs weird vents" and i tag random stuff as "zach's random stuff"

BTW! THESE ARE MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS :3

THATS ALL FOLKS! FEEL FREE TO SEND ME RANDOM THINGS OR REQUESTS AT "THE EPIC BUTTON" AND FEEL FREE TO SEND ME MESSAGES!

[shybasementkid]

realized that i have not properly introduced myself, so uh

Hi!

im gabriel/michael, im a trans aroace kid, and i go by any pronouns :]

i like

fnaf

lego monkie kid

ninjago(especially survival shipping or just garmadon generally)

arcane

dhmis but the fandom is dead so i wont post much about it but ill just put it out there

total drama

and a lot more im just too lazy to add it rn

i also have ocd n talk about that sometimes :3

i sometimes talk about sexual assault and my experiences with it soo content warning for that.

and i am also traumatized lolzzzzz so dont,,, do gore or anything relatively triggering in my reblogs or questions

i am also!! a teenager!!! so no nsfw(unless its like a joke i like dirty jokes(unless it gets ~weird~))

-> -> being a teenager, im also unable to donate anything to Palestinian, Congolese, Sudanese, Hatian, etc fundraisers due to the country im in. however, if you can, i HEAVILY encourage you to. nobody is free until we are ALL free. <- <-

i post my rants or just me yapping under the tag 'shy's rambles' and my vents under 'shy is sad' (not very heavily used)(and feel very free to block any of those tags)👍

post will be edited with time because i change with time. we're allowed and excpected to change, and that is a wonderful gift. /ref

so uh yeah thats all ya need to know about me

cya

[devondespresso]

Writers 20 questions tag game!!

tagged by the beloved @eriquin 💕💗💖 i haven't been able to participate in a lot of tag games lately (as evident by this being at least a week late ahnsgdsynkd)(edit: its been way more than a week) but i still really really appreciate the tags!!

divider by @/saradika-graphics

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

7 !! I think i still need to put one up there but i haven't yet cause i wanna edit the ending a tad

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

10,746

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Thingssssss, and i think its fair to say the Steve Harrington fandom specifically gdnzngxngxgn

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sweet and Spicy (the one steddie drabble tdnydyndny), My Sunshine, I Can Only Hope Now, Never Again, and Mr. Crayola Henderson

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes absolutely!! its usually a lot of heart emojis and keyboard smashes mixed in with my actual response zgnzgbzgnzng

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

uhhh itd probably have to be Never Again still, i usually like to lean positive with my endings, that whole love-being-alive thing, so whenever i don't its usually because the focus is a different strong emotion that'd conflict with blatant positivity.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oo okay also hard to decide for the same reason, I'd say the ending that feels happiest is probably from either I Can Only Hope Now (the Claudia prompt) or Now That We're Alive because both go from sad to happy and hopeful for the future. My Sunshine ends on a good note but its less "aw yippee!" and more "AAAAAAAAAAAA". I like my drabbles (under 400 words) to end pretty fluffy so far, and stuff like Mr. Crayola Henderson stays a pretty consistent light and fun so I don't think the happy end hits as hard.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no, thank god, not yet anyway

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nopeeee tho Never Again has an E and M version it's not exactly fun enough to be smut i don't think

10. Do you write crossovers?

also nope

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that im aware?? I'd be pretty pissed if it was but also like. is it doing well? is it popular? 👀

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that im aware but i give full permission if anyone wants to

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope, most ive done is bounce ideas or beta, but I'd be down to try it!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

i don't know if i have one?? just in general for stranger things i enjoy steve ships a lot. big fan of Vi and Caitlyn from Arcane but im not really in fandom for that show cause what would i change?? im very much a gen fic enjoyer and if i had to list all my fav platonic dynamics... we'd be here a while xgnzngzgn

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

oh irony my cruelest adversary. a few months ago i was happy and ignorant in my haven of only one active wip. Now there's a small handful, and unless i get possesed with the same emotions i was venting in it, i fear the short Robin-centric letter style thing won't be finished soon. its decent so far but there would be a good bit of editing trying to actually articulate the feeling in a realistic way plus fitting it to Robin's first-person writing style. I don't intend to drop it but lately it just calls to me the least, but that could change

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think its a strange mix of intuition and a technical understanding of writing that works really well for the way i think. Its very broad and basically has no rules, just a understanding of how my favorite stories work, how most writing rules are really trends that tend to work better and then you can dig deeper behind a lot of them to see the *why* behind it. that plus trusting the nagging feeling that something's off makes editing my most productive stage, i can vibe check the area and then start digging dgnxnhxngxng

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

god this changes every time i revisit this draft xumxhmxmxhm this time its probably character introspection. i love writing like a movie and having character action or dialogue or setting or symbols communicate things, but putting down what the characters thinking with similar tact is soooo harddddddd and especially in angst or emotion moments, i want my readers caught in the same thought process as the pov character, i want it to feel so real that even if they never experienced the situation the characters in and even if they know logically the characters wrong, they understand. and that unfortunately involves bypassing their stance as an outside perspective on the matter, which is uhhhhh very very hard xhmznhxhnxhm

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends on the intent, i think it works best when the author speaks the language themselves, and especially with stuff like asl it helps clarify the grammatic differences. I think if its a language the pov character isn't supposed to understand then "said something in x language" works better for universal immersion.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stranger things babeyyyyyy, i actually started writing the Steve Henderson au first, tho the first drafts of chapters are very different from current ones

20. Favorite fic you've written?

MY SUNSHINE!!!!!!! i am so open about my favouritism with that one, its the most contemplative and atmospheric and emotional and its short enough that i was spending time on every word, every line to make sure it felt right and contributed to the picture i wanted. they say its more achievable (compared to long fiction) to make a perfect short story and that's what My Sunshine feels like to me, the perfect little taste of themes I'm enjoying most in writing rn, specifically with the Steve Henderson au (my second favourite fic xgnxngxgn)

i forget how many ppl im supposed to tag so im gonna do 20, no pressure ofc!! @marvel-ous-m @acasualcrossfade @pearynice @imfinereallyy @tinytalkingtina

@klausinamarink @puppy-steve @queenie-ofthe-void @eyesofshinigami @stellarspecter

@dreamwatch @lightoftheseraph @withacapitalp @findafight @hbyrde36

@vegasol @carolperkinsexgirlfriend @lingeringmirth @momotonescreaming @sourw0lfs

[44-mr-midnight-44]

Tell me how cool I am https://decomytree.com/home?hashedId=FblTFllLhH-E

Welcome to the Pinned Post

Things that will be in said pinned post you are reading now:

♡ Disclaimers/Important info (before the cut, please read immediately)

♡ About me (can't guarantee its length, I love talking about myself)

♡ DNI (well, more just "if you qualify for this I will block you")

♡ Boundaries (not including triggers, I'm too smart for that B))

♡ Other socials/blogs (can't guarantee I'm too active on all of them!)

♡ Tags (what I tag and how to follow it)

♡ Userboxes ('cos what good pinned post doesn't have 'em?)

DISCLAIMERS!!!

(Warning, I'm going to be uncharacteristically mean for some of these. I'm not usually this hostile! This is about as mean as I get, I'm just a little too passionate about some of these.)

-I do not respond to any asks asking me for anything and/or asking me to spread anything.

-I am insanely uncomfortable with Mias World. Please don't ask me why, all you need to know is that I had a horrible experience with the fandom and several bad people in my life exploited my bad experience with the fandom to hurt me. If you were previously a fan of it but don't consider yourself a big fan/in the fandom anymore, you may interact with thin ice. If your blog is themed around it/you're currently big into it, DNI.

-Please don't come here for fresh "cringe" or if you want amusement from my account. We don't have to fight. We could probably be friends! I consider myself someone who can be reasonable, I don't mind people who I don't agree with. I'm friends with many who I would put a strong block on if I could. I like to talk and engage with ideas. We don't have to fight. Maybe you just need the change in perspective I had.

-With that said, if you ship characters with an abusive dynamic (not enemies-to-lovers, realistically-depicted abuse) get out right now. The horrific things I went through at the hands of way too many people is not your cute little uwu yaoi dynamic.

-If your name is Dakota and you like Rayman, Popee the Performer, Happy Tree Friends, Don't Hug Me I'm Scared, are a MASSIVE pro-shipper, go to a therapy school that an ex-friend helped you get into that you cut off contact with for confronting you about you hurting them, then I absolutely, irreversibly, incomprehensibly HATE you and I want absolutely nothing to do with you ever again. You ruined everything yourself, you're not some sad fanfiction protagonist that everyone hurts. And for the record, you can't use incest to "cope" when you don't have siblings you complete moron. I hate you for so many reasons I couldn't fit them in ten Google docs.

*ahem*

Alrighty, back to our regularly scheduled programming. Learn about me under the cut!

About Me

Howdy! My name's AXYER. At least, that's what I prefer being called by strangers, that most likely include you!

I also go by the name's Heart and Axon, but those are more friendly names. Heart's kinda my internet name, as well as a name that just generally makes me happy, whilst Axon's reserved for close friends! If you'd like to be formal, call me Mr. Midnight.

I am someone who is best described as a cartoon villain that must be someone's OC with how chaotic and unfun life is for me often. Really, I go through a hailstorm everyday! I like to think it builds character though. My life being so cartoonishly bad probably means I'm one of God's favourites, eh?

I tend to overshare quite a bit, so do bear with me! If I mistakenly say something too serious in casual conversation, assume I'm still being casual and don't be afraid to joke around and be silly with my "serious" discussion. I really mean that! Humour makes me happy, especially silly playful bullying, and if I actually needed to vent I would tell you beforehand.

I am also of the firm belief that kindness is best intended with no intent at all. I want to be a good person! I don't care for the reward of it, I just like being a good person and I just like making people happy. Nothing pleases me more than seeing other people smile because of what I did. I always try my best to engage with every infodump, and give as much feedback, comments, silly jokes and compliments I can! It really does suck when someone's clearly not interested in what you're saying, and I aspire to be a fun person to talk to!

Personal Information

Gender: Pangender (masculine-leaning, feminine-presenting)

Sexuality: Greyromantic-Panromantic Asexual (low libido, sex-indifferent in discussion sex-repulsed in activity)

Birthday: February 3rd

Religion: Buddhist, with a slight divergence in traditional Buddhist beliefs, as well as some vague Autotheistic and Pagan beliefs

Patron: It's very embarrassing so you'll have to wrestle it out of me

Height: 161 CM / 5'3"

Residence: Long Island, New York

Disorders: Cool Person Syndrome, comorbid with None of Your Business Disorder

Things I Like (structured most to least):

Hobbies: Maladaptive daydreaming, socialising, walking, writing (namely fanfiction but I love all forms of writing), coding HTML, moodboards, drawing, sleeping, comforting others, housework

Interests: Writing (characters, worldbuilding, story analysis, lyricism), psychology (most namely trauma responses), crossover AUs, butlery, ecology (namely biomes), Iceland, zoology, sociology, aesthetics, astronomy, trains

Fandoms (Primary): Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium (primary hyperfixation), Whump, Rain World, Animator Vs. Animation, My Little Pony, FNaF, Undertale + Underverse/Undertale AUs, SCP

Fandoms (Secondary): My Little Pony: The Mentally Advanced Series/Rainbow Dash Presents, Dungeons & Dragons, Bo Burnham, Ultimate Chicken Horse, Hollow Knight, Gravity Falls, Pokémon, Bendy and the Ink Machine, Smiling Critters (Poppy Playtime), Cuphead, Centaurworld, Five Nights at Candy's, Happy Tree Friends, Don't Starve, Hateful Wonderland, World of None, Warriors, OK K.O!, BoJack Horseman, Tuca & Bertie, Tally Hall/Hawaii pt II, Steven Universe, Skylanders, Octonauts, Digimon, Phighting!

Interests (favourites):

Food: Lava cake with vanilla ice cream

Drink: Brownie milkshake

Colour: Has to be a colour combo for me, otherwise it's just bland. For combo, it would have to be light purple and black.

Animal: Chickens and sheep

Season: Winter

Month: December

TV Show: Centaurworld

Video Game: Ultimate Chicken Horse

Movie: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Person: @nkgrimmie

Weather: Blizzarding

Clothes: Long-sleeve pyjamas, either two-pieces or nightgowns

Character: The Heart - Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium

Song: It fluctuates a lot, but the one I always say is Good Day - Chonny Jash

Genre: A three-way tie between Supernatural Slice-of-Life, Psychological Drama, and modern Urban Fantasy

UN-Interests (least favourites):

Food: Guacamole

Drink: Tomato juice

Colour: Hot pink

Animal: Muskdeer

Season: Summer

Month: July

TV Show: Any anime

Video Game: Danganronpa

Movie: Spiderman: No Way Home

Person: @nkgrimmie

Weather: Heatwave

Clothes: Shorts

Character: I honestly can't think of one, most of the weird least favourites thus far have actual really specific reasons but I can't differentiate petty dislikes and genuine dislikes well enough 😭😭😭😭

Song: I Bet on Losing Dogs - Mitski

Genre: Most Horror and Action

Kintypes

High:

The Heart - Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium

The Robber - Ain't no Rest for the Wicked - Chonny Jash

Villain - Archetype

Medium:

Grimmchild - Hollow Knight

Glorified Stick Figure - Fictotherian

Id Forest Volunteer - Archetype

Low:

Simon - Hawaii Pt ii

Blitzen - Santa's Reindeer

Copinglinks:

SCP-682 - SCP

The Mangle - FNaF

Synpaths: (oh boy)

Ffionn M. Fox - Still Here - Hateful Wonderland

Kickin Chicken - Smiling Critters - Poppy Playtime

Beelzebub - Helluva Boss

The Vinki - Rain World

victim - Animator Vs. Animation - Fanon

Mackenzie - Bluey

Horse - Centaurworld

Fink - OK K.O!

Batty - Ferngully and the Last Rainforest

Pink Pearl - Steven Universe

DNI

As previously mentioned, this is more of a "if you're blocked this is probably why". Sometimes I block just if you make me uncomfy though, no hard feelings!!!

-If I believe you are racist, transphobic, sexist, albeist, sanist, LGBTQ+phobic, religiophobic, or generally bigoted

-Zionist

-TERF

-Pro-shipper/Com-shipper/Dark-shipper/whatever they wanna be called

-Romanticise/fetishise/appropriate mental illness and/or certain forms of trauma

-Jash-shipper (don't you think it's kinda extremely weird to ship someone's ventsonas together?)

-Artimonk, Gourmonk, Survmonk, Moonstone, or slugcat x iterator shippers

-Shippers of the sad tie stick figure and the black winged red tendril stick figure. It is incredibly obvious if you know what I'm talking about. You are an absolutely disgusting person and I want nothing to do with you.

-"Syscourse"-debaters

-Political blogs

-People who love to argue/"take no BS"/"cluck around and find out"/"I don't care about you or your feelings <3" people

-People who frequently make arson jokes (for an incredibly personal reason, but it doesn't help that unoriginal + constantly repeated jokes bother me a lot to begin with)

-Cringe culture enthusiasts

-People who police around what counts as trauma/what counts as triggers

-If dark humour/more "vicious" playful bullying bothers you (just for your own comfort)

-People who unironically call people "snowflakes" or "sensitive" (the secondhand embarrassment would make most prefer to go to a TED Talk hosted by an eldritch horror)

-If your CCCC AU is centred around DID/OSDD (see: Boundaries)

Boundaries

-Please, PLEASE do not talk to me about DID/OSDD-1. PLEASE. There is NO winning on that debate on Tumblr, let alone social media in-general. You could round up a thousand people on Tumblr and ask them the same ten questions about the disorder and absolutely none of them would be the same. People with DID/OSDD-1 can interact obviously (I'm not sanist) but don't rope me into any discussion on it, it's a gamble I'm not willing to take. Full disclosure, yes, I think it's a read disorder, and yes, r/fakedisordercringe and r/systemscringe are full of hypocritical cucks. I have nothing against DID/OSDD the disorder itself just the insane amount of disagreements and arguments about it that I just do not wish to get roped into.

-Similarly, but not for the reason you expect, don't compare Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium to DID/OSDD around me. Some… let's just say not very lovely people from my past were fond of that headcanon and posted about it a lot, and as a result it reminds me of said unsavoury people. I don't personally care about whatever and whoever you headcanon with whatever brain not-so-goodies, but that headcanon in-particular makes me extremely uncomfortable because of said un-lovely folks.

-I will ALWAYS be polite to people I am directly interacting with (maybe I'll reblog something with a not-so-nice tag but it won't be targeted at anyone specific) and I absolutely hate arguing with people. Even if you really, really don't like somebody, do not expect me to be upfront mean to them even if we are already close. It takes a lot to get me to be cross for more than a few days, so generally this won't happen with friends either. Please do not rope me into any drama you may be in.

-Please, PLEASE for the love of all things holy ask before venting to me. I am NOT always in a good headspace and often times I get extremely uncomfortable if I'm not prepared. I love consoling people, don't get me wrong, but I have to be in a good headspace first. If you vent to me without asking, you will probably only feel worse because I will probably upfront tell you not to do that instead of comforting you.

-Do not vaguepost about me. I will block you. If you have a problem with me, DM me and we will figure it out. That is incredibly disrespectful and I'm not going to do nothing and watch your followers bash me. Be respectful, for the love of all things holy.

-Please don't make comments about how "incomprehensible" my artstyle is. I know that. People tell me it enough. I'm trying to fix it.

-Don't call me a hypocrite.

Other Socials/Blogs

Socials

Bluesky - @heartchonnyjash

TikTok (Main) - @theheartfromchonnyjash / TikTok (Kin) - @burnofemotion

AO3 - @AXYER

PillowFort - @TheHeartAcoustic

Blogs

Fictionkin Blog - @thehearteccentric

Hero-Villain/Whump Blog - @elsewherereflective (trying to fix the link, bare with me)

Tags

Userboxes

[spacemancharisma]

DAILY CLICKS 4 PALESTINE

VETTED PALESTINIAN FUNDRAISERS

• @ spacemancharisma on ao3 • insta & tiktok @ publixdelichickentenders • mutuals dm for my discord •

tag directory below 👇

general tags

personal (my posts)

spaceman.art (my art) | self portrait (art of myself) | wes art (art of my husband)

my face | photos w wes (photos with husband)

spaceman.poetry (my poetry & other writing)

vent | vent art (enter at own risk)

ocs

fave

asks

people/pets

about me | tagged | kin (mostly for lols)

wes tag

angel tag

🦈 bite

oliver🐰

oddish tag

specific feelings

new philosophy (spiritual beliefs)

gender tag

feelings tag

poetry (not always in the classical sense)

lesbian momence (things that are, or cause me to have, a lesbian moment)

unfuckable (you cannot fuck me! I am unfuckable! I have never been fucked!)

inevitabilities (the agony of impermanence)

rage

melancholia

parallels (web weaving)

sad kids with bad moms club (mommy/daddy issues)

religious trauma

fool for love (love- not romantic)

love: the b-sides (love- romantic)

devotion

X (yk.)

.💔 (relationships that ended before they should have)

get busy living (are u gonna cowboy up or are u just gonna lay there and bleed)

become unkillable (kudzu philosophy)

I am not what I was (change, for better or worse)

I will pray for him (the devil)

I would like to hold on to my body (jesus)

anything is an angel if you love it enough (angels & the holiness of everything)

thoughts on death

inner child

it feels like this to me does it feel like this to you

what’s with this dog motif (devotion- horny & fucked up)

recovery

positivity (mostly nice asks i've received)

pain tag (physical disability)

bpd | autism | ptsd

horny on main

fandoms- personal posts (can be used to nav to reblogged fandom posts)

spaceman.lesmis

spaceman.taz

spaceman.tpp

spaceman.dhgha

spaceman.gomens

spaceman.pacrim

spaceman.tma

spaceman.hlvrai

spaceman.hannibal

spaceman.malevolent

spaceman.merlin

spaceman.wtnv

spaceman.tsv

other things I like (or at least post about)

gmm

rtvs | wrtv | socpens

snapcube

chris fleming

mcelroys | monster factory

riverdale (do I “like” riverdale? this is impossible to say. I’m obsessed with it though)

dw (doctor who)

twin peaks

sherlock holmes | sherlock & co

etc

not my art (art I didn’t make)

lyrics

edit (text edits i’ve made- usually lyrics)

moodboard (I used to make them lol)

space

pigs

chants (powerful magics)

preemie jokes (I didn’t cook long enough in the womb and it made me weird)

bad horror (saw and the like)

pathetic men tag (you get it)

brainrot posting (posts that weren’t for a particular fandom originally but are the way I do it)

movie recs (catch-all film tag)

books (catch-all reading tag)

shakespeare

classic lit

greek lit

arthurian lit

[hellishvxbes]

Being a good person doesn’t meant taking shit laying down btw.

Like I think just in general, people think staying quiet about how they’ve been treated to avoid ‘drama’ is the best solution and I’m telling you it’s not.

Absolutely be loud about it. Point it out. Confront them. How they react is out of your control but at least you said what you needed to say.

I’ve been shushed before. Someone who I thought was a friend really hurt me, betrayed me. It was like a slap in the face, and all because I was going through my own shit and didn’t have time to be there 100%.

And it sucked, how I kind of had to swallow my hurt. How a lot of my ‘friends’ knew it was shitty of them but because they didn’t wanna cause drama they didn’t say anything. No one did a god damn thing and it’s really something when you see an abuser get love and praise and be treated like they are this wonderful person when they aren’t.

And true, you can’t make everyone see it. I know they will eventually, and it’s not my job to point it out for everyone. And I won’t. But at that time? It absolutely hurt me, and I started to look at things differently. Look at people differently. And it left me shambles for a good while.

I would rant about it and people would ask me to stop. Or to tag it. Because they didn’t wanna see it. And that’s valid? But also? Why is it you can only accept me when I’m showing my good side? The side of me that’s put together and makes you laugh and keeps you entertained but when I’m hurting you want me to take it elsewhere.

Started making me look at ppl on here who only look at you like a number. I know we all are going through our own shit. I don’t expect ppl to drop everything and help me, I don’t expect ppl to care. If I vent it’s usually just for myself to let off steam and it helps . But yet, somehow there’s always someone that makes it about them.

Therapy has helped me a lot with creating boundaries. I realized a lot of the things that happened where my own fault due to, seeing the issues but not saying anything about them. And also how I make myself to readily available for people. I was there for that person for so much, even bought them food when they were hungry and couldn’t for themselves. I don’t regret it, I don’t regret caring or having a good heart. No natter what I never want to lose that side of me that gives a damn about people.

I do the things I do because I’ve been there. I offer a safe space , a fun space for you to be yourself . Because I know what it’s like to have to hide. Show ppl how to love themselves because I had to learn on my own. I am an empath, I feel everything and I sometimes go overboard because I don’t have the proper boundaries set up. But I’m much more aware now. Learning and trying to be more effective in my communication.

But it makes me sad when you do call out bad behavior and instead of people looking at themselves and saying ‘you know I’m sorry I did screw up, I’m going to do better’ they deny. They gaslight you. They bring up everything YOUVE done wrong to them instead of acknowledging what you’re bringing to their attention. Suddenly they are the victim and you’re the bully being aggressive because they can’t tell the difference between an aggressive tone and an assertive one.

And it sucks that you’ll deal with people who can’t see anything past their own pain. Cuz there is no dealing with that, that’s shit they gotta work on and unfortunately they gotta be willing to look at themselves in the mirror and start seeing the truth.

We all got flaws. I had to look myself in the mirror, and see a lot of things I didn’t like either. Things that needed changing. That’s maturing. Recognizing you’re not perfect, that you do fuck up, and being willing to accept and change it.

But a lot of ppl on here not ready for that. And the moment I’ve started my healing journey I’ve lost a lot of people who aren’t built like me. Whether it’s because I make them see things in themselves that they don’t like, or think they can’t ever be or what it’s not really my problem anymore.

I’ve been stagnant for so long, I want things out of my life and for the first time in my life despite setback after setback I feel like I finally start getting them. I can respect people who aren’t ready to heal, but I can’t stay in those situations anymore. I wish you luck on your own path, but I’m done putting myself on hold for others all the time.

You’re not wrong for wanting to hold people accountable. There are always limits of course. Say your piece and be done, don’t keep adding fuel to it. How they react remember is out of your hands but you did what you needed to do. People say closure is pointless and I say you obviously learned to just not act on your discomfort and just bottle it up and to me that’s sad.

Because we shouldn’t have to do that for the sake of someone’s comfort who had no regard for ours.

And I am confrontational. I’m a nice person but I will come to you with an issue if there is one. And there’s nothing wrong with that, one mistake doesn’t make you horrible. Makes you human. Changed behavior means you’re growing and learning. It’s not a bad thing and I wish tumblr would stop viewing this stuff as bad. Because it’s so important to be able to grow and it’s why so many people suck because no one is really trying to do that.

[13xiii13-13]

Hi dear creatures!

I'm doing a graveyard shift at the gas station (Hi, Joey! 😅) at christmas night.

So if anyone around here want to talk, feel lonley, have a good story to tell, have a sad story to tell or I can't stress enough want to babble about a metal bands (wich i know, but don't worry I know a lot, around like 200 and yes im normal) feel free to interact. Lately Slipknot and Avatar have my heart but I have a plenty of more. Or just in general about music, subcult, style, concerts, festivals. Or just vent how hot those damn band members. 😉

For the next 12 hours I'm here also listening to music, writing fanfiction and cleaning and and serve the lost souls who wander around here for unknown reasons.

Anyway merry christmas or whatever you celebrate!

Ps. English is not my first language and this may cause problems. Other thing is that I don't have much practice in online communication, but hey it's time to change that.

Also no gatekeeping, because gatekeepers burn in hell (not in the metal one).

Also sorry for tagging this this way but i don't know how other way to do this, I will delet them later.

[givelifetoaworld]

recently when i open this app i will scroll a few posts until i see an unfathomably stupid take and have to close it - it’s actually very similar to how i felt about twitter and why i stopped using that site after more than a decade. and i don’t want to stop using tumblr, i like the privacy here and most of the people i follow are great, but recently it feels more and more like… an isolated corner of the internet where everyone is really hostile and accusatory and shit, i guess.

if you do want visibility here, whether that just be to share something neat or make friends or new mutuals, you don’t get that. 0 notes no matter what you tag and no way in fuck i’m paying money to blaze something. but when you don’t want attention or god forbid post an opinion or vent, you sure do get the worst imaginable visibility. maybe it’s the general neurodivergency of the userbase, but the black and white thinking about like, literally anything being talked about big or small, is genuinely toxic and exhausting. “i am uncomfortable when we are not about me” to the maximum.

there’s a deep sadness inside of me thinking about how different online spaces are than they were just a few years ago. twitter used to be so communal and cool, and now it’s… well. instagram facebook etc you’re doomed to engage with people you went to school with, for better or for worse. tiktok is fucking tiktok, that shit gives me notifications that someone i forgot about that i knew in the 8th grade posted a video ffs. i really like the semi anonymity of reddit, but their site policies have been awful lately, so it’ll probably implode soon enough. and we all know how people feel about the changes on here. again this site used to feel like an escape, for over a decade, but now it just feels isolating.

[hihow1000]

I hate asthma and myself but what’s the real difference

I did end up cheaping out on emotional availability and am posting this here rather than in my server w/ friends. My missspellings and errors are done to accomodate the discord text limit. At least writing and expressing myself thaat way made me feel a little bit better, though being a coward hurts in a different way that also makes me want to cry. The message exists unedited(except for changing my name to my username) below: I dislike my own complaining so I'm putting these in spoiler tags ||[I will note, at the beginning of the spoiler tag that one big reason I dislike complaining is that I find it very depressing whenever I do it. Though I cant get an objective look at my own situation, them being my words, though earnestly expressed, still make me sad. So why, Hihow, do I write this then? Several reasons, first is that just keeping thoughts in the ol' noggin isn't helpful. Another is that going to my secret tumblr account and complaining there isn't any more fun and, ultimately, can only really end poorly(though expressing myself into the anonymous void is certainly *something*), thirdly (and lastly{not least because I don't like the change in ordinal counting that comes with a fourth item}) is that people do generally care and I gotta stop trying to convince myself that they dont (though obviously not reading this isn't indicative of not being a friend{I dont read all the vent posts nor should ppl if they dont want}) choosing to read about what's going on with me is a choice that I, often and need to stop, making for people and doing that only really harms me through unnecessary self isolation(Note 4 ppl b/c I feel it needed: I wrote the prior text after the main piece)]|| ||I do enjoy the nebulizer, I can breathe much easier than before. But now I am stuck shaking and I don't get back my fine motor control that I lost from the lack of air that prompts the use of a nebulizer. Though rest assured if I hadn't waited the extra few hours I still would've lost out on control, it just would've been a slower realization that my clumsiness isn't from my hands shaking or my rapid changes in energy but because I still can't get enough air despite the medicine. An all around worse experience.||

[colorfuldream]

Hey guys if there's any creator on here that may weight in on this vent it would be nice

So I have those stories. Premises are pretty generic dystopian stuff. Obviously there's going to be stories that are similar right? Well there's one, that some people I vaguely know have mentioned. I check it out because they praise it. I hate it for (very valid IMO) reasons. It goes against what what I want to write is about. So no problem right? No. There's a few things that are TOO close for my comfort. But it's stuff I CANNOT change. So me, in my entire mentally ill glory, get scared that when I finally do them I'll get compared to it and be called a copycat.

No harm though, I can just ignore these IF it ever happens yeah? The problem is that I, as an artist, am not good enough yet. Let's be honest I'm barely mid, especially with digital. So in my mind, it won't just be me being unoriginal and stealing stuff, it will be me doing a shit job at it.

Now, luckily, it's a story with a small following. No mass comments about it, no cancelling for being a dirty thief possible. It's even on smaller platforms!

But. There's always a but. The author didn't stop there, (and good for them!) they got picked up by a bigger platform for another story. Still, different audiences, different languages. The new story isn't what bothers me though. It's the fact that the English platform picked it up recently. So now they have an international audience! Good for them! I don't like their stuff but that's a great achievement!

Still part of me is upset and scared. That means they will now be more noticed. They might grow a bigger fanbase through this and, of course, they will check their other works. So That One Story may get more popular. And my (irrational) fears kick back in. I know it's petty and dumb. I never even really shared what I wanted to do anywhere, except maybe here in some tags, so my brain interprets that as a bad look. Like yeah no proof that it was planned even when I never knew of its existence. I'm going into overthinking mode. I thought I maybe had time to hone my skills and begin sharing it, maybe even build a small audience and get a person or two to know about it. Kind of a "well if they get picked up, at least I have some time to build my own foundation and I will be able to withstand comments". But now, I don't. And I don't have skills or the time to begin now. My mind is screaming that time has run out or that it will so I MUST either give up or do it. But my plans include that specific part of the story to arrive later. Later is too late though. I need the set-up, the practice! Yet it yells I don't have time. If I don't push it fast, I'll have to give it up. I need to get ahead and try to lessen the damage, build something before the other person gets more known and everything is ruined.

It's stupid, it truly is. There's no guarantee they will get that big. Well, I do wish for them they will, but you get the gist. There's no guarantee my stuff would ever be noticed or known either. There's no guarantee my daydreams will become real, good or bad. No one but me may ever make a connection, no one but me would think lesser of me for it, no one but me would dislike it.

Yet my mind is screaming, my heart is hurting. It feels like my dreams have been shattered, snatched away before I could even try. I'm angry. I'm sad. I have no idea what the Hell is going on.

[imjustaf444keriguess]

"The post I was referring to was from a blog who actually said in their bio they were endo." you were using a quote that didn't have a source and i was going off of the quote u said. saying that people who use "plural culture" before a post are not always endogenic. if a specific poster was, cool, but the original post made it seem like you were reading from a general "plural culture is" blog, like... all of the plural/system culture is blogs that show up in the tags.

"And with the non-surface level things, if you're an alter, endogenic or not, how could you not not recognize yourself in the mirror? /genq" you recognize the "self" in the mirror as the body you're inhabiting? or as the collective "self" you live as to non-systems? especially endogenic systems, who don't have that disordered disconnect, they could see the mirror as "one of their bodies" or just... them, as they are in the moment.

i deal with that disconnect so i can't fully comprehend it either, but sometimes we do look in the mirror and it feels recognizable as ourselves, even if it's like... alter A looks at the clothes and sees themself in them, whereas alter B sees the haircut we have and goes "that's me!", or something.

also, the concept of a "sense of self" is very complicated. is the "self" as in the body, as a whole? i know we have a collective "self" we sometimes act as, but it's different than each alter/headmate's sense of self, as an individual being and consciousness inside the body. sometimes, these can overlap, especially with systems who see themselves as "parts of a whole" instead of separate "people" inside one body.

"No, we don't always post about the negatives of being a system, and we don't believe anyone has to in order to be valid. But only posting about the positives of it just gives people a warped view of what plurality is, since there's always negatives to every positive." i think there's definitely a lot of variation on how much negative to positive an experience can have.

especially with systems who are in recovery, in safe places, and who are able to be themself/selves in safe ways, there's gonna be way less negatives. similarly, there's going to be systems stuck in abusive and dangerous and shitty situations that might feel like life is nearly entirely negatives. for some systems, being a system/plural is more joy than pain, and for some others, it's more pain than joy.

i don't think we have to change our own experience just to "unwarp" other people's opinions on what plurality is. someone being happy as a system and not experiencing many negatives doesn't "warp someone's view of plurality", it shows one experience of plurality. similarly, someone posting negative experiences is another plural experience.

also, this is social media. outside of this blog, i avoid syscourse like the plague, and we don't post about the "negatives" of our systemhood. if we did post, we'd want to share joy and be happy. seeing sad content and focusing on the negatives online can be harmful, and can lead into spiraling or triggering other systems. i know sometimes i see people venting about their own system experiences, and it affects us, so we try to avoid those posts. social media is intended to be happy and fin (although occasionally to a too-addicting level, but that's another topic for another day)

anyway, if you're op or anyone who's read all this, remember to drink water, take any meds you need, eat food, destress from syscourse and go play video games or write or draw if needed, or maybe go focus on whatever thing you're supposed to be doing, like homework or chores. this is long and i want people to remember that syscourse mostly doesn't affect people in real life (outside of a few shitty people and bad doctors who are looking for a scapegoat for their ableism) so don't stress too much and care for yourself first!

Is it just me or do endos just post the most surface level things about plurality??

I saw a post saying "Plural culture is having to explain to your friends why you sometimes don't remember things and act different."

Like sure that's true but it's like one of the most well-known things ever, it's been said hundreds of times.

It honestly strengthens my belief that these people really don't know what plurality is beyond Tumblr and maybe a Wikipedia page or two. It just makes it seem like they didn't put much effort into learning what plurality actually is beyond the most well-known things about it.

-Charlie and Kirill

(PRO/ENDOS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS POST.)

[chronic-invisibility]

Please Read!

Hi, my name is Drew, I’m 26 years old and I don’t want minors to interact with my blog, please. I will block you if you are under 18 or don’t have your age in your bio. Please understand this is a boundary I am setting for your safety and comfort and mine. It’s not personal.

I used to use this blog as a mental health vent blog, but I have other things I like and want to post about and trying to use separate blogs entirely is complicated. So I’m going to make this my main and have sideblogs for my various specific topics. That being said, this blog is still going to have a trigger warning for ed, sh, sui, SA, poor mental health in general. I do my best to tag things appropriately, including specific trigger warnings, but if you need me to tag something specific let me know and I’ll do my best! I can’t promise I’ll remember every single tag I try to maintain on here, but I do try.

My MCR blog is @youmustfixyourheart

My mental health vent blog is @imtheworst-imsorry

My (mostly inactive) Moon Knight blog is @lunarcavalier

My blog of funny band name ideas is @band--name--called--it

I’m working on my bachelor’s degree, majoring in Museum Studies, and my fondest wish is to work at the living history museum my family has visited since before I was born. I had a job in retail pharmacy as a pharmacy technician for 2.5 years but the pharmacy industry is fucked and we had a LOT of turnover and being verbally abused by customers on a daily basis sucks so I quit in October of 2023. I like knitting and crocheting, reading, writing (currently actually working on a very long, self-projecting, angsty fic and just published a shorter fluffier fic for the first time in a few years), art (making and consuming, I actually made a painting for part of my final project for one of my classes last spring semester and I recently got an ipad to draw with, which I’m loving), swimming (even though I rarely get the chance), and being with my dog, Henry. I was late-diagnosed as Autistic and ADHD when I was 23, and I have a bunch of other mental health issues, too. I’ve experienced a LOT of bullying, mistreatment, misunderstanding, and sometimes outright abuse from my peers (and some adults) growing up and even into my early adult years (not that I’m not still a young adult, but like, 18-21 were NOT great years for me) in part because of my neurodivergence, and as a result I have a lot of trust issues and anger and sadness and trauma that I’m trying to work through.

My main Special Interests are: mermaids, the living history museum I mentioned (and museums in general), My Chemical Romance, Dan and Phil, music, theater, and art.

Some of my current hyperfixations include: MCR, Heartstopper, and Dan and Phil.

My DNI list is kinda long, and most of it’s common sense, but if you fall into any of these categories, don’t follow my blog or interact with me (I do check blogs that follow me and I WILL block you) and also please fall into the sun and die.

DNI:

Minors

LGBTQIA+phobes/exclusionists

Antisemites

Racists

TERFS/SWERFS

Ableists

Fakeclaimers of any kind

Anti-abortion

Anti-vaxxers/COVID deniers

“All Lives Matter/Blue Lives Matter” people/pro cop/pro military industrial complex

Blackpink stans

JKR supporters

Tr*mp supporters

Kanye supporters

Sia supporters

Dave Chappelle supporters

————————————————————————

I might keep updating this post as my life changes, or if I think of anything new, but hopefully this is a good intro of who I am and what this blog will contain.