#which is also mildly weird to me

[sluttyten]

Romantic/dating anxiety is definitely a thing (to me). I just steed into the dating world for the first time last year at the ripe age of 26 and when I tell you I’ve been anxious every time I’ve matched with someone/received a message complimenting me before we can even have a conversation/agreed to a date… it’s intense to say the least but I believe in us!

Definitely definitely a thing, like I’ve managed to give myself a decent stomachache just by overthinking this since it happened.

I don’t know what to do lmao because I have 0 experience, and like I just texted my best friend about, I shoot down every person that ever asks for my number or shows interest in me but then I also literally am always like…. looking for someone to be interested in me, but also like as soon as I know for sure they’re interested I don’t want them to be, and also I think I just feel awkward if the person is younger than me, so like when one of my coworkers clearly had a crush on me but he was like 5 or 6 years younger than me so I felt that was weird, and then this guy I don’t even know how old he is either so like that feels fucking awkward to me because nobody ever thinks I am my age, which right now I’m 27 😭 and the other day a girl I work with thought I was 23, which is a compliment but also like I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone that much younger than me 😭😭

[four-pointed-leaf]

If you still taking requests... Siffrin and Dragon!Loop flying over (any place really. whatever isn't a nightmare to draw) to calm sif down from a panic attack?

this probably shouldn’t be as calming as it is.

[la-pheacienne]

Am I the only person on planet earth who believes that Cosette and Marius are a beautiful love story? Yeah it has been so many years since I read this and yeah I was a teen, but I still remember what I felt when I read their story and their deep love for each other really really touched me. They were both orphans, two broken people who found each other by sheer luck and made each other really happy and gave each other hope and light in the midst of adversity and misery. It's just a beautiful depiction of real, deep, visceral, honest emotion between two people. How can you be completely immune to that? And this without even talking about the form, the lyricism, the poetic beauty of the text, the guy literally wrote one of the most iconic passages about romantic love that have ever been written and all you seem to care about is, idk, the power imbalance between them because of gender roles? Or the fact that Marius stalked Cosette? Or the fact that the "love at first sight" trope is boring and conservative? This is fine if the goal is to deconstruct patriarchy but I'm afraid it completely lacks feeling and honest engagement with the text, you know? This approach to the story is so flat and lifeless that I wonder if we've all read the same book. Everyone is entitled to their feelings and their tastes in art of course, but I will just suggest that if you truly do not feel anything at all while reading this love story then maybe 19th century Romanticism isn't for you? Idk.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

re my last post it's not even that I feel that bad about it. emotionally I'm fine? it's just that I look at myself and I'm like. packing black formal clothes. listening to The Black freaking Parade while my grandpa has heart surgery. and I'm just like... something is WRONG with me. who does this. something's wrong with me

[essektheylyss]

Oh hey! Do you like stories about wlw and weird, convoluted forms of time travel? Do you like supporting queer folks making cool art? Did River Song rewire your brain as a teenager?

I wrote a short story called "A Practical Study of Time" for Baffling Magazine, a queer speculative fiction mag! It's published on Patreon, if you're interested in becoming a patron of a super neat lit mag—or it'll be on their site when their eleventh issue is published in April!

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

*walking with a friend and a guy my friends befriended (he seems okay? weird humour but cool ig) talking abt falling out of windows*

me: there's actually a word for throwing someone out of a window in english. defenestration

guy, quite weirded out (i think from his voice, his face is like. he's literally twice as tall as me i ain't looking that far up): why? do you just know that??

me: .... Reasons. (chronically on tumblr and weirdly informed abt strange topics)

[seongpinkhwa]

hm. feeling a bit silly

[caffeinatedopossum]

I just said something so autistic to the ai therapist 🤦‍♂️

[earl-grey-crow]

so. coyle.

[vigilantejustice]

don’t know what part of my brain is missing that makes it a struggle to grasp anything that isn’t concrete or tangible or easily quantifiable but whenever i’m not like. fantasising about clawfoot tubbing myself i’m like “don’t think i’m depressed think this is just me having a normal one” and the normal one is me having this thought after having spent sixteen hours in bed mostly every day for like three years

[vocalsynthbdays]

Bebo Akapane’s birthday is coming up on October 29th. Just a heads up. He’s not that well known but theres one person who makes covers with him! Im friends with said person btw!

- Bebo’s voice provider

oh thank you for letting me know !! i absolutely do not mind posting about unknown synths; ive got some with like literally zero covers, or with no wiki nor db entries, so ill gladly post about bebo !

[shoechoe]

ur icon kinda reminds me of a watermelon tbh. with like the green and pink and also the dots in diavolo's hair. ^_^ !! (i mean this in a good way ofc. very cool!!)

Well, I'm okay with that, because watermelon has always been my favorite fruit. (That and me being such a big fan of Diavolo may be connected. Who knows.)

[maaaxx]

11 & 19 for the ask game ❤

ask game :)

11 has already been answered here

-

19. "Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?":

Short answer:

From the time I could vaguely write I was writing "books" (or as much of a book a child that young can make)

I entered my first writing contest when I was 9 or 10 and I got 5th place in my school

A year later I started my first major wip that got me invested into writing as a hobby

A year after that I started another wip that most of my current wips are branches off of and also started posting bits and pieces on wattpad

When I was 14 I had my writing skills tested for early college admission and scored in the top 5 percent in my state (still very proud of this)

Entered and won a couple writing competitions besides that stopped writnig

Then a couple years later I started writing fanfiction

Currently pondering working towards actually publishing some books one day.

Long answer under the cut :)

I remember making "books" since I could write. Like I would staple paper together and I remember one specifically that had something to do with sea horses but i dont remember the plot.

My mom has boxes filled of these "books" with all of the words and even my name misspelled and poorly illustrated characters and stuff.

When I was in like 4th grade (9-10 years old) my teacher had an assignment to where we made up a story and applied whatever type of literary technique we were learning about that week to it. So like if we were learning about similes the assignment would be come up with 5 sentences that include similes that pertain to your story and include one or something like that. At the end of the year we were supposed to have 4-5 pages of this story. I think I finished with like 10-12 or something like that. She made me summarize it 💀

If I remember right I think that my story was about this set of twins where one was born with some type of super power that only the other twin knew about and the superpowered twin got kidnapped by some scientists that wanted to expirement on her and my story followed the other twin and this like 12 year old girl dedicating her teenagehood to finding the lost twin. I think I made it so the dad actually ended up hiring the kidnapper and the dad and kidnapper both got arrested. I want to find this again because I dont remember a lot about it.

That same year my teacher ended up having me enter a poetry contest and I think it was a tri-county thing. I didn;t like poetry (I still hate writing it, love reading it though) so I half assed it and I think I got within the top 5 (??) of my school. (just elementary school) so that was neat.

(This specific teacher was one of those really strict teachers that no one else liked but my little undiagnosed autistic self LOVED her because i always knew what to expect yk?? but is also the one who really got me into reading and writing and stuff and I dont think I'll ever not me extremely grateful for her)

The next year I started forming this one wip. Its definetly my longest and most elaborate and sentimental one because it opened so many different doors for me.

There was no plot but it pretty much followed this group of like 20 teenagers that had very different lives and were all really traumatized and during the "story" they're all like 15-18 trying to figure out how to move on from their childhoods and maintain healthy relationships with eachother and their individual support systems.

Some of them are neurodivergent and some of their stories are centered around that.

One of the characters name is Jack. Jack is bipolar and so is his mom and so because of his moms mental illnesses and stuff he was in and out of fostercare from like 5-13. Hes probably the 'main' character in this.

Hes also went deaf from a tmi from when he was like 9.

Then theres Allison who is autistic and she is your stereotypical 'gifted kid burnout' 'graduated at like 15' type of autistic. but this leads to a lot of issues with her and her main thing is kind of working through that.

Travis comes from a VERY religious (almost cultish) family and is develops schizophrenia at like 16 I think and he's also pansexual and his parents go through his phone and find some texts from his partner and kick him out so hes homeless and has to deal with that.

But like I said theres like 17 more of these characters and its very elaborate. It goes into the parents childhoods and deals with generational trauma and how mental illness can affect parenting.

The 'story' mostly follows Jack and Allison (theyre love interests) and everything is kind of through their pov and their relationships with the other characters and stuff.

But like 11 year old me started writing this out in composition books and between then and when I turned 15 ish and got a computer, I filled I think close to 30 composition books with this story.

But I started researching mental disorders and stuff for this story so I could make their stuff as realistic as possible and that kickstarted my spin on psychology, which led to me wanting to be a social worker which is my major. It also meant that I was really ahead in also my psyche classes. Im *technically* going into my 5th year of college and I started taking psyche classes my second year and I didnt start getting into stuff that I didn't know until the year that just ended so 11 year old me really knew what she was doing.

I remember making my mom buy me textbooks and those articles that are behind a paywall for birthdays and Christmas's

I'm getting off track

A year or two after that I started developing this other wip with kids with superpowers and there was a whole lot of worldbuilding and stuff to this one and its what got me into fantasy which is the main genre I write outside of fanfic. (my hecles wip is loosely based on this one)

(part of this one is on wattpad somewhere)

When I was 14 I took a test that determined whether or not I would be able to start college early and part of this test was writing skills. There was a fiction and a nonfiction portion and then they combined those two scores and averaged them out and my score was in the 95th percentile (top 5 percent) of everyone who takes the test (so on average like 17-19 year olds usually and then some outliers) so I see that as one of my biggest writing achievments.

(i scored shit on the math and reading comprehension portions though)

I stopped writing and stuff for like two years besides entering writing contests.

I've entered like 5 and won 2. One was tri-county and I got first place and the other one was a little bigger but it wasnt a state contest, I think it might have been regional but I got third place. I consider those both big accomplishments too.

And then when I was 17 I started writing fanfiction.

I think fanfiction is what actually got it in my head that maybe I could write an actual book one day. Like before I just saw it as like a hobby because I was scared of the commitment of writing a whole book but ive written almost 200,000 words of one of my fanfics and it wasn't that overwhelming and I think that usually a decent sized novel so why not give it a try?

Idk if that answered the question or if I got TOO off track but oh well :)

[itsalwaysdark]

having a midlife crisis atm i think i might start reading [redacted] this is rly scary for me keep me in your thoughts

[arovalentines]

this is petty n most likely an issue of ive just been exposed to entirely different shit but those posts about how people complaining about redemption arcs is bad bc its important message that people can change is just completely ignoring why people are actually complaining cause the big two examples i can think of for why people complain about redemptions are 1. the redemption is poorly written n ignores and/or retcons the previous seriousness of their wrongdoings just because the writer(s) want them to be good now n its kind of hard to do that if (for example) we take the lives they intentionally n mercilessly killed into account and 2. this character is an abuser but instead of taking accountability n bare minimum apologizing n letting their victim(s) choose whether they wish to still have them in their life the writer(s) choose a narrative where the abuser doesnt really have to change as a person they just dont abuse anyone anymore n the framing is weirdly unsympathetic to their victim(s)

[homunculus-argument]

The thing about general life weirdness is that it's accumulative. If you open the door and allow one (1) unusual thing into your life, that significantly improves the odds of other weird things happening. Just one mildly odd thing is just one mildly odd thing, but they lead the way for things that can be a perfectly logical consequence of the first thing, that would never, ever happen to someone who hadn't invited the first odd thing into their life.

Like let's say you decided to get an iguana. That's not the most common kind of pet, but not unheard of. Perhaps you thought you wanted a cat, but then decided to see what other animals your local animal rescue has available, and holy shit they've got an iguana. So now you've got an iguana.

And being a responsible pet owner - which, again, is a normal thing to do - you make sure you take good care of your new baby. And being a rescue, your iguana might have some issues that they've got from being poorly handled by the previous owner. So you see what you can do about it, and find out a vet who is specialised enough to do physical therapy on an iguana. And naturally, you call them right up and get your iguana cared for. And being such a specialised professional, naturally this vet makes sure to keep their work and personal life neatly separated.

All of these are perfectly logical steps into an unusual direction, but they are also the way you may find yourself saying something like "my iguana's therapist blocked me on grindr."