#and compare writing styles and stuff
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11 & 19 for the ask game ❤
ask game :)
11 has already been answered here
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19. "Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?":
Short answer:
From the time I could vaguely write I was writing "books" (or as much of a book a child that young can make)
I entered my first writing contest when I was 9 or 10 and I got 5th place in my school
A year later I started my first major wip that got me invested into writing as a hobby
A year after that I started another wip that most of my current wips are branches off of and also started posting bits and pieces on wattpad
When I was 14 I had my writing skills tested for early college admission and scored in the top 5 percent in my state (still very proud of this)
Entered and won a couple writing competitions besides that stopped writnig
Then a couple years later I started writing fanfiction
Currently pondering working towards actually publishing some books one day.
Long answer under the cut :)
I remember making "books" since I could write. Like I would staple paper together and I remember one specifically that had something to do with sea horses but i dont remember the plot.
My mom has boxes filled of these "books" with all of the words and even my name misspelled and poorly illustrated characters and stuff.
When I was in like 4th grade (9-10 years old) my teacher had an assignment to where we made up a story and applied whatever type of literary technique we were learning about that week to it. So like if we were learning about similes the assignment would be come up with 5 sentences that include similes that pertain to your story and include one or something like that. At the end of the year we were supposed to have 4-5 pages of this story. I think I finished with like 10-12 or something like that. She made me summarize it 💀
If I remember right I think that my story was about this set of twins where one was born with some type of super power that only the other twin knew about and the superpowered twin got kidnapped by some scientists that wanted to expirement on her and my story followed the other twin and this like 12 year old girl dedicating her teenagehood to finding the lost twin. I think I made it so the dad actually ended up hiring the kidnapper and the dad and kidnapper both got arrested. I want to find this again because I dont remember a lot about it.
That same year my teacher ended up having me enter a poetry contest and I think it was a tri-county thing. I didn;t like poetry (I still hate writing it, love reading it though) so I half assed it and I think I got within the top 5 (??) of my school. (just elementary school) so that was neat.
(This specific teacher was one of those really strict teachers that no one else liked but my little undiagnosed autistic self LOVED her because i always knew what to expect yk?? but is also the one who really got me into reading and writing and stuff and I dont think I'll ever not me extremely grateful for her)
The next year I started forming this one wip. Its definetly my longest and most elaborate and sentimental one because it opened so many different doors for me.
There was no plot but it pretty much followed this group of like 20 teenagers that had very different lives and were all really traumatized and during the "story" they're all like 15-18 trying to figure out how to move on from their childhoods and maintain healthy relationships with eachother and their individual support systems.
Some of them are neurodivergent and some of their stories are centered around that.
One of the characters name is Jack. Jack is bipolar and so is his mom and so because of his moms mental illnesses and stuff he was in and out of fostercare from like 5-13. Hes probably the 'main' character in this.
Hes also went deaf from a tmi from when he was like 9.
Then theres Allison who is autistic and she is your stereotypical 'gifted kid burnout' 'graduated at like 15' type of autistic. but this leads to a lot of issues with her and her main thing is kind of working through that.
Travis comes from a VERY religious (almost cultish) family and is develops schizophrenia at like 16 I think and he's also pansexual and his parents go through his phone and find some texts from his partner and kick him out so hes homeless and has to deal with that.
But like I said theres like 17 more of these characters and its very elaborate. It goes into the parents childhoods and deals with generational trauma and how mental illness can affect parenting.
The 'story' mostly follows Jack and Allison (theyre love interests) and everything is kind of through their pov and their relationships with the other characters and stuff.
But like 11 year old me started writing this out in composition books and between then and when I turned 15 ish and got a computer, I filled I think close to 30 composition books with this story.
But I started researching mental disorders and stuff for this story so I could make their stuff as realistic as possible and that kickstarted my spin on psychology, which led to me wanting to be a social worker which is my major. It also meant that I was really ahead in also my psyche classes. Im *technically* going into my 5th year of college and I started taking psyche classes my second year and I didnt start getting into stuff that I didn't know until the year that just ended so 11 year old me really knew what she was doing.
I remember making my mom buy me textbooks and those articles that are behind a paywall for birthdays and Christmas's
I'm getting off track
A year or two after that I started developing this other wip with kids with superpowers and there was a whole lot of worldbuilding and stuff to this one and its what got me into fantasy which is the main genre I write outside of fanfic. (my hecles wip is loosely based on this one)
(part of this one is on wattpad somewhere)
When I was 14 I took a test that determined whether or not I would be able to start college early and part of this test was writing skills. There was a fiction and a nonfiction portion and then they combined those two scores and averaged them out and my score was in the 95th percentile (top 5 percent) of everyone who takes the test (so on average like 17-19 year olds usually and then some outliers) so I see that as one of my biggest writing achievments.
(i scored shit on the math and reading comprehension portions though)
I stopped writing and stuff for like two years besides entering writing contests.
I've entered like 5 and won 2. One was tri-county and I got first place and the other one was a little bigger but it wasnt a state contest, I think it might have been regional but I got third place. I consider those both big accomplishments too.
And then when I was 17 I started writing fanfiction.
I think fanfiction is what actually got it in my head that maybe I could write an actual book one day. Like before I just saw it as like a hobby because I was scared of the commitment of writing a whole book but ive written almost 200,000 words of one of my fanfics and it wasn't that overwhelming and I think that usually a decent sized novel so why not give it a try?
Idk if that answered the question or if I got TOO off track but oh well :)
#you can tell when i start mildly bragging#im sorry im just proud of myself💀#I think I mentioned before that everytime I get really into writing its to cope with something.#so that like 11-15 era and then when I was 17 I had a lot going on and thats always when i started really getting back into it#i also consider getting involved in fandom (aside from just writing) something like a milestone to my writing timeline thing#because its the first time I had a community around it#and that I can talk to other people who are passionate about their wips and works and whatnot#and compare writing styles and stuff#i also really enjoy getting immediate feedback#also being able to read stuff by people who dont get paid for it and who dont have to worry about writing trends and stuff is really nice#i think its really neat how much of my life stems from writing#like idk how to explain how different my life would be if this wasnt my primary hobby.#me choosing my career directly stems from a story i made when i was 11#writing is also how i taught myself empathy#because i mention a lot that im a really low empathy autistic#and id always have trouble not being cold with people because i cant force myself to feel bad for them#so id make like side stories of my characters going through things people in my life went through#and if base what i say and do for them on what would help my chatacter#which i based on reading psyche textbooks#that sounds really weird now that im typing it out but oh well#im not saying im good at relationships but id be a lot worse at them if i didnt start writing#i liked this ask thank you anon <3#idk if i actually answered it though 💀#max thinks shes relevant#asks
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Signal Lost
I've had something happen to me that's so incredible and that I could have never hoped, something so touching and so unbelievable that it made me rethink a whole lot of stuff: a wonderful reader on Ao3 started reading my long-form fic (101k words!!!) and commented basically every chapter after a certain point. And wow, I would have never thought something like this might happen.
And yeah, it is my first fic with plot in it, yeah I will never believe it to be perfect, but it's good enough. And receiving all those emails from Ao3 really was the highlight of my days over the course of which I saw said reader slowly go through all my favorite parts!
And so I wish to give it some spotlight here, while I'm finishing up my school year and work and whatever! I will post this here for now, but I will drop chapters every few days and make a Masterlist for it this weekend. (nvm I don't have the energy to do this any time soon lmao) I have too many loose ideas in my head so this is just to pass the time till the brain worms wiggle all in the same direction
So without further ado:
Link to AO3 here : Signal Lost - a John Price x reader fic
----- here's a blurb to pique your interest!
“I don’t think I’ve ever received a document as classified as this one. What am I supposed to do with it, Kate?” he says, dragging his thumb across the pile of papers, each file filled with more ink than the last.
“You asked for proof, there’s your proof,” Laswell says.
“You said you’ll bring someone competent, and who can help us, this doesn’t tell me shit.” He stares blankly at the screen, tired. She stares back.
“The Captain specifically asked to keep this under wraps.”
He rubs at his face, scratching at his beard. It’s getting long again.
“Who is he, anyway?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
He groans again, picking up the file on top. No photo, no name, no age, no height, weight, no nothing . And he thought Simon was secretive.
“What can you tell me?”
“It’s the closest we’ve ever gotten to him. Did things a particular way.”
He shifts through the papers. “And the discharge?”
“Left after the entire team got wiped out. Messy stuff.”
“That why he doesn’t show his face?” He bends forward, grabbing the cigar from the ashtray and bringing it to his lips.
“John.” Her voice carries a heavy warning.
“Just sayin’,” he says, biting around the cigar with one side of the mouth. “What kinda captain doesn’t go down with his men?”
“Got enough guilt as is. You’re lucky I convinced them.”
They both remain silent. They know the missions would be a slippery slope. One wrong move and a war is started. He puffs a cloud of smoke.
“Anything else?” John asks.
Kate looks to the side, her face illuminated by another screen. He can see her hesitate, her lips are pursed in a thin line as if she’s debating her options.
“You’ve worked together before.”
His face lights up. “Finally! Who?”
Her face immediately hardens back up. “Can’t tell, John, my hands are tied.” She sighs. “You were still a Lieutenant.”
Years ago then. He mentally catalogs everyone he’s ever worked with, but he knows that at that age, he was throwing himself at every available mission, wanting to make a name for himself. “So an old fart then? How’s that gonna help us?” If the guy was a Captain when he was still a Lieutenant, and he felt himself grow old, he can’t imagine who Laswell is bringing back from the dead.
Laswell’s face distorts, he knows he’s pushing her buttons, but he has to know.
“Not older than you John.”
His eyebrows raise. “Oh?”
---
or
returning to the military to hunt Makarov is hard enough, to do it with your past lover is even harder. a "friends to lovers to enemies to friends and back to lovers" story
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Tags and other CW: will be posted for each chapter containing warnings for more hardcore stuff (i.e., torture and angst namely), but this is a fanfic, with smut, so if you want all the tags feel free to check the ao3 link bc there are a LOT and I am lazy to retype them all here
#cc writes#141#tf 141#call of duty#ghost#soap#gaz#price#john price#price x reader#captain john price x reader#captain john price#reader insert#fanfiction#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#ghost is kinda a softie in this one#price is a bit of an asshole at the beginning but you'll see i dont wanna spoil anything#reader is badass but has issues lmao thats the only way i can describe it#you can see when my writing style sort of improves so don't compare it to my most recent stuff lmao#anyway enjoy
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finally finished dishonored for the first time. how has anyone been normal about it. game of the century
#gecko talks#yeah no further thoughts just. help. its so good?#also it was so much easier compared to my first attempt? like it was almost a perfect run why was i so panicked all the time the first time#anyway. the writing is so good and the art style is so nice and the characters are all so interesting i am. aaahhhh!!!#i. i should just replay right? to find the stuff i missed. get the achievements. see the other endings#should only take me. like four runs? i should just do that right#dishonored
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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another interesting thing i bump into when it comes to writing these fics to publish is that i feel the need to continually specify that these characters are thirty because otherwise i'm really worried that people will think they're teenagers based purely on the fact that they live with their parents, which is frustrating in a way i have trouble articulating
#N posts stuff#like in the one i'm working on this week the Changeling spends a not insignificant amount of time fretting about the potential#that its mom won't let it do something without supervision and every time i write it part of me is so adverse to the teenager allegations#that i almost want to do a ff.net style midline author's note (***AN: THE CHANGELING IS 28 YEARS OLD***)#i like you too#idk i just feel like i never see 'still living with your parents' narratives and then even fewer when like. that relationship dynamic#has not shifted with age to something on the 'basically equals' level you know? so i feel like i need to clarify this constantly#anyway i added mixtape playlists to all the OC pages on neocities; tiffany's is still comparatively sparse but all 3 are still WIPs#'mixtape' as in 'music the character would Listen to' not 'music that represents the character' btw
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man. i changed so much these past years
#im different from last years me who was different from 2021 me who was different from 2020 me and so on and so forth#it feels kinda weird thinking about it bc i went through *so much stuff*#all of it in just the past 4 years... insane#i found out i was trans. i went on lockdown. i started posting my art online. i made online friends.#i went through three different relationships. every single one of them changed me forever.#i started writing. i finished middle school. i read homestuck. i used discord everyday for 2 years.#i found my personal sense of style. i started going tk school again. i made friends irl. i lost all the online friends i had.#(thay wasnt bc of any scandal i just left the friendgroup and then started to slowly interact more with ppl irl#whi sorta made my online interactions dwindle especially one-on-one interactions#i think i feel better like this go be honest with you. the connections feel stronger and i feel closer to the friends ive made#not saying i dont like the people i know and befriended here just saying that not being chronically online anymore really changed how i#go through with internet interactions)#damn. really feeling the passage of time now.#also this is not a sad reminiscent post im *really* glad im in the place i am in life right now#i have a qpp i have an irl friendgrouo that i feel 100% comfortable with for the first time in my life im doing ok at school#i have a vision for my future my relationship with my parents is sooo much better#idk man. compare that with 14 year old me eating alone at school bc i was too scared to talk with the other people on my class and like.#yeah man. im doing a lot better#i DO have to update my art blog though. its been too long sincd i posted anything#talk
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.
#i was reading someones post and agreeing with them for the most part#until the got to the part about insisting kinnporsche was a meaty show with lots of substance to it especially compared to other thai drama#babe kp was all flash and style and no substance#they set it up as if it has substance and then the writing fell appart in the back half#it was especially funny cause this post was contrasting it to last twilight#which literally had the same fucking issue#really good for the first eps (in lt till ep 9 imo kp to ep 8) and then absolutely fell all over itself#undid a ton of stuff it set up and fell apart#kp isnt as egregious as lt imo because it didnt cause the same hurt and distress#it just became ridiculous in the not-fun way and stupid and all over the place#but like they are both examples of writing/directing teams biting off more than they could chew and failing miserably#the funny part was they were basing what was a meaty show with well rounded characters on how many fanfics where created based on it#i... dont think that fanfic and fanart numbers are inherently indicative of quality#look at the number of fanworks for supernatural#or hell even bbc merlin#which i adore but the shows execution was. uh. not the best.#its more indicative of how fandom culture has changed than anything else with people jumping from interest to interest#they werent flawless but if we are thinking of thai bl with substance and something to say? not me and the eclipse are right there#i know it isnt for everyone because the lakorn style is really strong but khun chai broke a lot of the standards for lakorns to my knowledg#miracle of teddy bear has substance and weight to it and people barely gave it the time of day#i just rolled my eyes so hard#and im in a bitchy mood right now so i had to come vent#emilys fandom thoughts
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ultimately the ocean vuong rupi kaur poll boils down to the fact that so many people have only had exposure to both these poets through tumblr (most probably web weaving posts) and equate more articulate + longer lines with vuong and shorter + simpler ones with kaur... to me the difference was . very easy to spot and vuong's lines were instantly recognizable ...
#saying people dont like kaur because theyre racist and misogynistic is... uh#not saying there arent people who think like that because there definitely are !#but comparing kaur to vuong.. is just insane#i dont mind people who enjoy her poetry it just isnt my style . but saying she's as good as/better than vuong is#just untrue . like cmon yeah she has good pieces but 90% of the stuff she writes#is made to be digestible and like. stuff to read while scrolling . just instagram poetry#but yeah just my two cents#taro speaks
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one of my goals tonight is to update my wip list!! it’s uhhh a little dated, hehe. i’ll make sure to put a “last updated” label too.
in the meantime, chapter two of the sorabelle fic is like 98% ready to post. i wanna say chapter three is like… 82% ready? and chapter four is something like 45% ready. so we’re getting there!! if i’m feeling particularly generous i’ll plop chapter two out there soon but, no promises. ♥️
#genrambles#i read some 01746 last night#and compared it to the sorabelle fic#and i can see MAJOR improvement to my writing style#so all the suffering is clearly paying off 👍#same with my art too#yippee!#wip stuff
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LMAO my editor just got permission from head office to completely ban the sub-editors (proofreaders) from proofing or editing our English copy because they keep fucking up our copy. Like if you don't have an acute and strong understanding of the language you're editing for don't become a sub?? (hehe sub) Like the last straw was them changing "Amid the dissolution of the board of directors, appointment of an interim manager, and alleged wild parties leading to property damage, the Insert Name Here service center has closed indefinitely" to "with the dissolution of the board of directors, an interim manager alleged that wild parties led to property damage" and then the next paragraph, which they just fucking wrote in, which is not the job of a sub-editor, was "there were allegations of wild parties that were dangerous and disruptive" like babes, not only did you completely change the meaning of the intro, like, completely, like from "there was a new manager because the board was dissolved and there are allegations of parties" to "the new manager said so" which is completely different, the new manager said fuck-all, you also fucking added a completely redundant repetition in the nut graf like??? (hehe nut) And it's not like I didn't explain in the nut graf what these disruptions and dangers were, I laid them out in detail, the subs just felt the need to reiterate for a second time that there were wild parties.
It's also far from the first time there is A List of times they changed the meaning of our English copy completely and didn't even fix the grammar, or even made it worse. How they're still employed as subs is beyond me completely because they are decidedly horrible at it.
#A nut graf is a “nutshell paragraph”#Typically the second paragraph in a news article that summarizes the content of the article in a nutshell#It has been written as nut graf and nut graph#I don't know how we got to f but it's the preferred spelling of the textbooks I used in uni as well as the two retired national journalists#With decades of experience in the field#So I use the f#But you'll probably more frequently see the ph in the field#Sub editors are journalism speak for proofreaders#The editor#Or editor-in-chief#Is the boss of a newsroom who has final say over how copy (an article) is written and what copy goes in the paper#News editors are directly below them and typically responsible for fact checking copy and comparing it to the style guide#Sub editors are below news editors and they're the language and grammar editors that solely focus on proofreading#They can sometimes do fact checking but it's typically just the spelling of names the accuracy of dates that kind of stuff#Subs do not write#Ever#They correct the spelling and grammar of an article and that's it
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i want to be a lil mean today
#feeling extra salty. anyways#i feel like its a little common in the ph fandom for people to like. they dont see linebeck as linebeck they see him as reigan arataka ykno#does that make sense. it feels sometiems that its not just someone interpreting him their own way Its Just Reigan#like its fine to compare characters and make jokes abt how similar they are but it jsut does feel like. ppl just see him as another reigan#i wonder if its like. ppl know and can easily see mp100 while ph is a little harder to get so they see the comparisons and just go oh#so theyre thr same. and they fucking arent. so i just feel like some linebeck stuff i see isnt actually linebeck stuff its more like reigan#this is msotly abt ppl pegging linebeck as a tax fraud/evasion guy and yes i am going to be fucking petty abt this bc it pisses me off#w/ the recent crimes poll thing too its like you bitches just think hes reigan huh. why didnt robbery win. thats the one he canonically did#it bothers me!!!!! bc he canonically steals shit he suggests theft with no problem his self described style of doing things works for theft#and like with ppl writing him as responsible around kids from the get go or being like. somewhat morally upstanding or w/e??#its not so much linebeck as it is just straight up fuciing reigan#or just like. not linebeck. idk. im feeling petty and mean i think a lot of mainstream ph fans are missing what linebeck actually is#or maybe im that far up my own ass with this. but he is canonically a fucking thief we cannot deny that shut UP about tax stuff
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Im probably just overthinking this shit so hard lmaooo
#my biggest fear is that it’s just fucking trash right? I mean who doesn’t think that about their own stuff#but sometimes it’s true pffpfpflkf#it’s like I look at my own art and it looks so fucked and distorted to me and then people are like what are you talking about that’s#perfectly photorealistic or whatever#if I step away from it for literal years I can see that#but while I’m working on it it looks so fucked to me fkjhfkjh#I mean with the writing this is still a first draft of a first book in a series#it’s allowed to be a mess lol#I just can’t seem to tell what it’s like at all#like what is it comparable to style and genre wise#it’s driving me nuts#and i bigggg know it’s not going to be for everyone#which is completely normal lol I’m not trying to write something for everyone#ki rambling#ki writing
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i'm having Many Thoughts this rewatch about the... words. narrative devices and framing and tone of sdmi, and how they bring out a lot of food for thought re: aspects of media analysis which are easy to lose track of in media that takes itself more or less seriously than sdmi does.
unfortunately my brain is kind of soup lately, and when i try to put this bit into words it becomes Massive Overwhelming Infodump before it's halfway to my stylus. i have few brain cells available at the moment and it burns through them fast. 😔 ah well, hopefully i'll get around to making an actual coherent post about it sooner or later
#whosebaby talks#SDMItag#something about abstraction vs literalism; shorthand you're supposed to fill in the gaps for vs Things You are Meant to Take at Face Value#and about what's meant to be a Thing specific to a particular character/place/social environment/dynamic/etc#compared to a show's stylistic weirdness filter you're having to compensate for to tell if this character is an Abstraction#in the same way squiggles on a book to indicate writing are an abstraction of actual writing; or if they Are Actually Like That#vs when they *aren't* meant to embody that any more than the other people present; but *the other people present are also Like That*#compared to baseline for that world; because there's a specific reason in-universe that people like them end up concentrated here#vs a world where the baseline *is* for everything to be Like That; not as an abstraction or weirdness filter#but because the squiggly lines on the book are just Actually Squiggly Lines in-universe#often intended for comedy but not always! or entirely!#and sdmi's tone--comedic and otherwise--means it bounces around a lot of these in some really interesting ways#which is uh further complicated by the fact that despite how much of the comedy is obviously meant to lampshade how fucked up their world i#a fuckton of it is just straightforwardly horribly misogynistic and racist and abuse apologist and what have you#and not only makes light of this stuff in some really fucking awful ways under the guise of always-sunny-style ~tee hee lampshading~#but pulls some real toothpaste-and-orange-juice shit when it combines that with the more serious/earnest elements#and then you add in things like examining the generally exaggeratedly corrupt justice system#partly for laughs/drama and partly because a realistic judiciary process wouldn't work with the format tone and narrative they're working i#it's a fairytale; monarchies don't choose a ruler by sending out three princes to find a magical chalice in the forest or whatever#.....but also there are some reeeaaal interesting; uncomfortable things to examine here when comparing the corrupt *human* justice system#to the corrupt one the horrifically oppressed talking animals in this universe are subjected to#especially when it's often not even clear *which animals are supposed to be sapient*#and some shit you cannot 'it's a fairytale' your way out of; like racism and ableism and misogyny and queerphobia and abuse#say what you want about whether it *should* be there; but if it is; it is#and if nothing else it is sure fucking worth discussing if a piece of media tries to claim a textual depiction of SA for example#is a squiggly line abstraction for consensual romance#anyway there's a lot to unpack here squirtle it's fascinating and i have Opinions about it
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Can you write about flat!reader x any Logan, where she is insecure of basically having no tits (like me) so she wants to keep a shirt on during sex and stuff and Logan notices and stuff lol
warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, fem!reader, dirty talk, mirror sex, doggy style, creampie, insecurity, the reader says self deprecating things about themselves, light choking, breast play
a/n: YES YES, I'm flat as fuck and I am super self conscious about them. These mfs look like mosquito bites on god. (I hate them so much bro just let me get some work done PLZ) Anyways Im doing this with Worst Logan bc I love him. Anyways.
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Sometimes it was hard dating a man like Logan. It wasn't hard to love him, no not at all. Even with the baggage he claimed to have come with, it wasn't hard to deal with the nightmares or the moments of deep loathing and insecurity. You loved him and because of that being able to help him through it all was easy.
What was hard was dating a man who was over 200 years old and looked like a Greek fucking god.
The first time you ever saw Logan without his shirt was when you were visiting Wade. Logan walked out in nothing but pajama pants. You shamelessly eye-fucked the man before you. He was ripped. Strong arms, a six pack, big thighs, and a handsome face. Even after you started dating and managed to get him on a diet that was more than whiskey and cigars he was still unbelievably hot. You should feel lucky to have a man like that worship you and you love and appreciate him to death. The problem is that you felt like you couldn't compare.
Logan loves you and you know he does but when you're looking in the mirror you can't help but notice you're lacking in one specific area. Your boobs. You were flat and the world seemed to never let you forget it.
Cute tops you could never wear because your chest couldn't keep them up. Jokes about being flat as a board. You couldn't even hold them in your hands. You hated them. Logan never said anything about them but you were always too afraid to bring it up.
So you sat in this limbo of deep insecurity.
"Sweetheart? You still in there?" Logans muffled voice comes from behind the bathroom door.
Shit you didn't mean to be here for so long. A shower had turned into staring at the mirror. You covered them in your hands, pushing them together and huffing when they just looked sad. The events from earlier in the night replaying over in your head.
Ever since Logan showed up in the universe he had garnered some attention. The Wolverine was hard to hide. People would point and whisper whenever they saw him. Gossip about who he was and why he was here. It was all pointless to Logan. Still in the bathroom of the bar you managed to catch a conversation.
Two beautiful women talking about your boyfriend and how badly they wanted him. Talking about flirting with him and taking him home. It just hurt a little. Sure Logan could care less about anyone's advances but yours but they had truly gotten into your head.
Would Logan want someone who had...better assets?
Would he want a woman who's breasts he could hold, squeeze, rest his head on? It was silly but they were the one thing that you honestly just didn't like about yourself so it was hard to think logically about it.
"I'm coming in." Logan's voice calls again. You curse quietly as you scramble to get a shirt on. The last thing you wanted was for him to see you like this. Logan's eyes shamelessly look you up and down as he enters the bathroom. A small smirk growing on his lips as he leans against the door. You bite your lip as you look down towards the counter.
"Sorry, I just wanted to take an extra long shower." You lie, smiling at Logan.
He hums and pushes off the door. He comes to stand behind you, his arms snaking around your waist. You were dressed in nothing but a shirt and underwear and Logan liked it. A lot.
"Should've joined you. Could have helped get your back." Logan purrs, his growing bulge pressing against your back.
“Oh please we’d still be in the shower if you had joined me.” You tease, slipping out of his grip. Logan furrows his brows as he follows you like a puppy to bed.
"You say that like it's a bad thing sweetheart."
As you lay on the bed Logan crawls in-between your legs, resting his head on your stomach. He purrs as you reach and run your fingers through his hair, scratching his head in all the spots you know he loves.
"Not a bad thing honey, but our water bill isn't a fan." Logan gets up on his knees, a devilish smirk appearing on his lips as his hands snake up your legs.
"Fuck the water bill, If I want to fuck my gorgeous girlfriend I will." You giggle as he dips his head down. The scruff of his beard tickles your skin as he nibbles on your thighs.
"Fuck baby, I can't get enough of you." He kneels between your legs and his hands slip up your body. The moment his hands go under your shirt you flinch. You didn't mean to flinch but you did. It was a small movement but it was there and Logan felt it immediately.
"What's wrong?" He asks as he takes his hands away.
"Nothing." You smile and reach up to pull him closer but he doesn't budge. Curse his super strength. He gives you a look and you sigh.
"It's nothing Logan, it's stupid and small."
"Sweetheart you gotta talk to me," Logan huffs. He's been working on this whole, communication thing and while he's not known for his empathy he can clearly see there's something bothering you.
"I just..." He looks at you again and you fall back into the pillows.
"Its these!" You say pointing to your chest.
"Huh?" "They're small and stupid and I hate them!" You lift your shirt up and huff in frustration. Logan's eyes widen as he stares at your bare chest. A stupid smile forming on his lips.
"I'm not seeing the problem." You put your shirt down and he pouts.
"I'm serious Logan. They're small and flat and...and..." You struggle to find the words as Logan just chuckles.
"So what?"
"It's not funny!" You snap and Logan's face morphs into concern.
"I just, I wish they were bigger is all. I mean sometimes I see other women and...It's hard sometimes." You curl into yourself, your arms covering your chest protectively. It felt silly to bring up right now but the thoughts wouldn't go away.
"Hey, look at me sweetheart." Logan coos. He lays next to you. Gently snaking his arm around your waist to pull you closer.
"Please?" Reluctantly you turn your body to face his.
"There's my pretty girl." He tilts your chin up to meet his eyes.
"Look I'm not the best at this but I can tell you one thing. You're fucking perfect." He leans in and kisses your neck gently. Your eyes flutter close as he gently rolls on top of you.
"You are beautiful, gorgeous, hot. I could go on and on sweetheart." His hand slips up your shirt and you let him slowly peel it off you. He grins as his lips move down to your chest. His thumb comes to play with one of your breasts while he latches onto the other.
"Logan..." You moan as he teases you like he loves to do.
"I know you hate them but I fucking love them. I could spend hours playing with them, looking at them, sucking on them if you let me." You bite your lip at his dirty words. The insecurities being pushed out Logan's hands.
"I don't care how big they are, what the look like. Because they're attached to my girl and I love my girl." Logan reaches down and rips your panties off of your body. You gasp in surprise as he takes your legs and spreads them.
"Feel how fucking hard you make me." He groans as he grinds his cock against your body.
"Get on your knees baby." You don't hesitate to listen. You get on your knees and face the headboard but Logan has other plans.
"No, I want you to watch your pretty tits as I fuck you." He growls in your ear as he moves you to face the mirror on the wall.
Your eyes roll to the back of your head at his gruff voice. Fuck he's hot. You're practically dripping onto the sheets already and Logan plans on taking full advantage of that. Slowly he slides his cock into your cunt, taking his sweet time as he stretches you out.
"So good, taking me raw." He says with a smirk. He wraps his hand around your neck to help support you as your legs shake at the feeling.
"I know baby, almost there just a little bit more." He praises.
You nod furiously, wanting to take all of him no matter what. When he fully bottoms out you let out a small cry. He shushes you softly, pressing kisses to your cheek as you get used to the stretch.
"Feel alright sweetheart?" Logan asks and you nod. Slowly he moves his hips, soaking up every whine that falls from your lips.
"Fuck, you're just made for me aren't you pretty girl." You can't take your eyes off of the mirror.
It's pure and utter filth. You're disheveled, tears pooling in your eyes, Logan's hand is still wrapped around your neck. You look fucking hot. You can see his muscles flexing with each devastating thrust. The look of pure desire on his face as he fucks you.
"Logan please I'm gonna come." Your hips start to move to meet his thrusts.
Logan growls as he grabs onto your hips and pushes you into the mattress. All you can do is watch yourself take it as he fucks the life out of you. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as Logan breaks you apart. Your body feels fuzzy as your orgasm washes over you. Logan lets out a loud groan as his hips slam into you and stay there as he comes.
"Fuck...Look at you." Logan sits back, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you up. You hum as your head falls onto his chest. A tired smile on your face.
"So fucking perfect." Logan hums.
"Right sweetheart?" You mumble something unintelligible and Logan taps your face.
"I want to hear it." You shiver at the intensity of his voice.
"I'm perfect." Logan tilts your head up.
"All of you?" He asks.
"All of me." You repeat after him.
"Good," He kisses your temple.
You sigh as Logan starts to massage your shoulders. The insecurities have been washed away, only bliss left in its wake. Logan couldn't comprehend your dislike for your body, he saw you and only saw the best.
But if you needed a reminder every now and then, he would be happy to give it to you.
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Your thoughts on the wof characters have been really interesting and I'd love to hear your take on Starflight (your assignment of him being the 'designated sufferer' of arc one is both hilarious and tragically accurate). I've always liked him, cowardly though he is he still acts when he really needs to and the dynamic between him and Tsunami is super fun (the whole outwardly combative but inwardly just wishing to be as strong/as smart as the other).
I like Starflight and I relate to him a lot, as a fellow chronic worrier who annoys his friends with constant blathering about stuff only I find interesting, and often finding myself paralyzed in the face of decisions.
It’s funny how the story puts forward a black dragon, which in media are usually portrayed as mysterious, ambiguously malevolent harbingers of doom, and makes him into this adorable dork.
He’s also the plot’s chew toy, which I am at times less enthusiastic about. Especially when jokes are made at the expense of his misfortune.
Wings of Night and Sea
Starflight’s and Tsunami’s friendship is very engaging because, in a sense, both of them complete each other. For each, emulating the other serves as their last resort when faced with a personal crisis. Whenever Tsunami encounters a situation she cannot overcome with her usual blunt and direct approach, she asks herself how Starflight would resolve the situation. When Starflight becomes overwhelmed and too scared to move, his mind conjures an image of the strongest, bravest, most unstoppable thing he knows, which is Tsunami. Though either would be reluctant to openly admit it to each other, they both rely on each other’s strengths to cover their own weaknesses.
Through this you get the sense that, while their opposite personalities annoy each other to no end—if you locked both of them in a room for three hours, they’d be strangling each other when you open the door again—at their core they have only the deepest respect for each other. It becomes especially apparent when you realize that both of their stories in their respective books have them compare themselves to the other unfavorably.
If these two ever did a DBZ-style fusion dance, the result would likely be one of the most capable and balanced characters in their series.
Starflight's misfortune
CW: Discussion of blindness
One thing I have noticed (and have alluded to a lot in previous posts) is that the plot really likes to kick Starflight in the teeth. His own story arc puts him through the wringer, but he is not even safe in the two arcs past that, where he is largely out of focus. Most of the things that happen to him in arc 1 seem to occur for the sake of the story, but past that... it sometimes feels to me like the world has it in for this guy.
I started writing a list of every bad thing that happens to Starflight over all three arcs, but it got way too long, so now I’m just going to talk about a few select things instead.
One thing that stands out to me is that every other protagonist in arc 1 gets a specific moment. That kind of scene where they enter their tribe’s biome for the first time or connect with a particular part of their culture/physiology, and are overcome with a sudden burst of euphoria or deep resonance with their own nature. Clay gets it when he submerges himself in mud for the first time and then later again when he finds his siblings, Tsunami when she sees and smells the ocean, Glory when she’s in the rainforest and feels the sun, and Sunny when they go through the magic tunnel and end up in the desert. Starflight is the only arc 1 protagonist who doesn’t get a moment like this; when he enters his tribe’s home for the first time it’s a giant craphole that makes him feel upset. It only gets worse from there.
Then there is the big one; the misfortune that happens to him at the end of his book. I struggle to talk about this because... uh... How do I put this?
I opened this post by saying I relate to Starflight on a personal level. I wouldn’t consider myself as studious or well-read as him, so it’s not a direct comparison, but I do like to draw, write and dabble in visual artistry. This is a major part of my life; how I define myself as a person and what I think makes me “me”. The thing about this though is that all of this is tied up into one thing: my sense of sight.
It follows then that what ends up happening to Starflight is the realization of the one thing I fear the most. Thinking about the possibility of losing ones sight is deeply, personally horrifying to me. It messes me up internally just to consider it happening to me.
This, the subject of becoming blind, is a very difficult topic for any story to properly engage with. There are many pitfalls you can fall into and come off as insensitive, or ignorant. The way Wings of Fire deals with this subject is to... well... it doesn’t really. Starflight is blinded and then the story skips over most of his reaction to it because the next POV character gets separated from the group while they sort it out.
In a way, this is a good thing. I don’t know how this series—which often rushes through these really uncomfortable, harrowing events—would be able to show a realistic reaction to this development. Like, losing ones sight would be a horrifying prospect for anyone, but for Starflight especially this completely uproots not only his entire life, but his sense of identity. Everything he likes doing, everything he is and wants to be in life is rendered virtually impossible by this.
Consider who Starflight is. He is a thinker, and a worrier who is always inside his own head. He dreads and fears, he seeks out worst case scenarios, I daresay he is inclined towards pessimism. Whenever his neuroticism gets him too stressed, or emotional, or worried, he has one immediate response: bury his nose in a scroll. When he arrives in a new place, he usually asks where the scrolls are at. When he is under threat of being abducted or attacked, his first instinct is to go grab his scrolls to keep them safe. Like with me and drawing, reading is how he unwinds, how he balances himself. It is what keeps him sane and functional through dealing with adversity (and he's Starflight, so he deals with a lot of adversity).
Then this happens to him, and suddenly the one thing that makes this poor, battered boy happy, the one thing that never hurts him, is taken away forever. If I was in his place, if I learned I was suddenly blind, I would fall apart. I would cry, then scream, then cry AND scream and probably flail around in a panic. Clay would have to hold me down and restrain me so I don’t end up falling off the platform in a frenzied fit. Or worse.
So yeah, I get why the plot had to look away. Seeing this happen to Starflight—him going through this kind of anguish and then sinking into quiet despair as his world crumbles around him—would have been heartbreaking. In the end, we go on Sunny’s solo adventure and when she returns Starflight is already conveniently past the screaming fit phase and has adjusted to his new life circumstances—enough to talk and joke as if nothing happened. He then goes on to dedicate himself to bringing the wonders of literature to other blind dragons, which is a noble goal and good trajectory for his character—even if it’s a bit abrupt and I would have liked to SEE him do that instead of just being told.
Anyway.
This next one isn’t as notable because it doesn’t happen TO him, but I want to point it out to back up my claim that Starflight Ls can and will happen even in story arcs that have very little to do with him. In book 6 Moonwatcher and Darkstalker have a conversation where they discuss the concept of Nightwing powers and how they relate to the moons. The story very pointedly draws attention to the fact that Starflight nearly was born under three full moons and would have become the most powerful Nightwing of his generation if his inept caretakers had not decided to hatch him underground. While I don’t think getting these powers would have been good for Starflight in the long run, it is a bit sad considering he spent most of his childhood thinking he was born wrong because he didn’t have powers, and then Morrowseer further gaslit him about it throughout the arc.
And then we don't talk about what happens in arc 3. I am not the right person to discuss it.
My take on Starflight
I was asked to give my take on the character, so...
I already went into how I think he’s very introspective and prone to worrying. I see him as an introvert, which is something he has in common with Glory, and contrast him with Sunny, Clay, and especially Tsunami. He enjoys reading but also other activities where he gets to use his brain. He likes puzzles; I imagine he got very excited when they had to figure out the murder plot in book 2, or when he caught Blister in a lie. If he had a computer it would be full of adventure and puzzle games, and he’d hog the resident DS to play the Professor Layton series all the time.
When they found the academy, it is implied he teaches a literacy course and gives out writing assignments. That is right up his alley, but I’ve always felt he also has strong math/natural science teacher vibes. There should logically be a numbers class at that school and I can’t imagine any other character who would be more suited to teach it.
If I were asked where I would make changes to his story, I guess I would nix the part where he and Fatespeaker hook up in book 5. I have nothing against their relationship, it’s actually grown a lot on me over time. But I never liked how it started. Starflight gets rejected by Sunny and then immediately hooks up with Fatespeaker. This is really undignified for her because it takes their potentially intriguing romantic relationship and turns her into Starflight’s “rebound chick”. You really need to give yourself some time to move on from your previous attraction; rushing like this creates doomed relationships.
The original story implies that about half a year passes between the end of arc 1 and the start of arc 2. I like to pretend this gap is actually a bit longer, by like 2 or 3 years. It gives the old protagonists a bit more time to settle into the roles they’ll occupy during the next arc, and makes it more plausible to me that they could build and outfit an entire school, write the curriculum, designate roles, etc..
In that time, with things being more calm now, Starflight has opportunity to get lost in his own thoughts again. It turns out, now that the dangers of the war are no longer distracting him, he finds it difficult to cope with his blindness and sinks into a depression.
While this happens, Fatespeaker is there with him. She sees his condition worsening by the day, but refuses to give up on him. She reads to him; they talk, and they bond. Though serious self-searching and hard work, together they manage to pull out of the darkness eventually. This is how their relationship starts, and it’s also how Starflight gets the idea to invent the dragon-equivalent of braille.
Somewhere during that time, I also imagine Glory has Tamarin escorted to Jade Mountain so she can help Starflight adjust to his new situation and learn how to navigate his life without needing to rely on others. Perhaps this is what motivates Tamarin to attend the academy later.
What else is there to say? Hmm...
I think Starflight is really fond of hard candy. Jawbreakers are his favorite especially. Though given how prone to misfortune he is in the story, I’m hesitant to put him in proximity of anything with a name like that.
#wings of fire#dragon#wof#digital art#wof art#flawseer art#flawseer reply#flawseer talk#wof starflight#wof nightwing#romance
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“3 words, 8 letters. I mean it” - J.JK - Mini (M)
Pairings : j.jk x fem! Reader
Genre : situationship, smut, slight fluff.
Contents : chuckblair inspired, limo sx, gossip girl parties setting, unprotected sex (yk what to do babes), riding, praisekink, comparing, big c!jk, slight public sex, not proofread, lemme know what i missed!
Notes : don’t expect too much yall. I’m trying a new writing style. The one that’s not too detailed that i write about everything but the character😭 tell me what you think about this? Should i make more smut? Idk i think i’m bad at smut, i’m more better at fluff and romantic stuff but i just wanted to try this. Xoxo gossip girl💋�� Ive been watching the show and i love itt!! I love chuck and blair and i think i will def write more inspired by them. I loved the “3 words, 8 letters” line. It’s my favourite tbh.
“I knew you had a type…” his voice trails behind me. I didn’t bother to move or to face him but to just stay still and silent, silently enjoying his touch, the way his touch felt like warmth to my cold like skin, the way the world stops, and everythingstops once he touches me.
“I missed you.”
After Jungkook suddenly left me in Paris without saying a word during our vacation together, I was shattered. One minute, everything felt perfect. the Eiffel Tower lighting up the night sky, his laughter filling my heart with happiness as we explored and the next, the right side of my bed was gone . Broken, sad, left, and helpless. I spent the four remaining days locked away in the hotel room we had booked together.
At the airport, sitting alone in business class, I tried to distract myself, to feel anything other than the suffocating pain that clung to me. That’s when a man approached me. At first, I didn’t want to look at him, but when I did, I felt a sharp ache in my chest. His sleeve tattoos, the undercut, the piercings. it all felt too familiar, too much like him.
When I learned he lived in the same city as me, I impulsively invited him to my upcoming party. I told myself it was a distraction, a way to move on. Maybe even a chance to prove to myself that I didn’t need Jungkook anymore.
I thought that was the end of us. I truly did.
Until now.
“You left me… alone in a country whose people I don’t even know,” my eyes keep shut, trying hard not to let a tear out.
“I’m sorry, honey… let me make it up to you?”
“I have Ian now, Jungkook,” I try to keep my tone straight.
“No, you won’t,” he chuckles deeply. “You’re only with him to replace the missing presence that you can’t live without.” His hands trail around my jawline. “And that is me”
“Three words, eight letters. I mean it,” his tone changes into a soft one, one that I only hear when he wakes up to me wrapped up in his arms, one when he starts talking about our future together, together.
“Three words, eight letters. Let’s get out of here,” I say, grabbing his hand, intertwining with mine, his smile widening.
—-
The limo driver’s voice, distant and polite, asked, “Your place, Ms.?”
“Mhm,” I hummed, breathless already, my response barely audible as Jungkook’s lips crashed into mine. The kiss was firm yet full of emotion, like he’d been starving for days…… He starved for my taste
My breath hitched as Jungkook pulled me into his lap, his large hands gripping my waist. all I could manage was a soft hum, barely audible, as I reached blindly for the button to raise the divider.
The divider hummed as it rises, It being the only thing keeping the driver from seeing us do the deed in the back of the limo, leaving only us in the together in the backseat. His tongue parted my lips, the kiss deepening as his hands roamed over my thighs, hiking my dress higher until it was bunched around my hips.
“Fuck, baby,” he groaned against my lips, his voice low and strained. “I fucking missed you, my pretty girl”
I gasped as he tugged my panties aside, his fingers grazing the slick heat of my core. “You’re already so wet for me,” he murmured, his dark eyes locking onto mine as his fingers teased me, gathering the wetness and spreading it over my entrance. “You’ve been missing me too huh?”
“Jungkook,” I whimpered, unable to answer him as my hips bucked against his hand.
“That’s what I thought,” he said, his lips curving into a small, cocky smirk. His hands gripped my hips as he leaned back slightly, guiding me to straddle him completely. “Come here, baby. Let me feel you.”
I reached between us, freeing him from his pants. He was already hard, his cock thick and pulsing in my hand, and the deep groan that rumbled in his chest as I stroked him sent a wave of heat coursing through me.
“Don’t tease me,” he said, his voice low and dangerous, his hands tightening on my thighs. “You know I can’t wait.”
I positioned myself over him, the head of his cock pressing against my entrance, and slowly sank down, taking him inch by inch. The stretch was overwhelming, my body trembling as he filled me completely.
“Fuck,” he groaned, his head falling back against the seat as his hands gripped my waist. “You’re so fucking tight, baby. You feel so good.”
I braced my hands on his shoulders, rocking my hips slightly to adjust to the fullness. “Jungkook,” I gasped, my voice shaking. “You’re so deep.”
“That’s it,” he murmured, his hands moving to guide me as I began to move. “Good girl. Take me just like that. You’re doing so good.”
The praise sent a shiver down my spine, and I picked up the pace, bouncing on his lap, riding him with a desperation that matched his own. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the small space, mingling with our moans and the occasional broken gasp of my name from his lips.
“Fuck, baby,” he groaned, his voice strained as his hands gripped my hips tightly, helping me move faster. “You’re gonna make me lose it. You’re so fucking perfect. So good to me.”
“Jungkook,” I whimpered, my nails digging into his shoulders as the pressure built low in my belly. “I-I’m close.”
“Me too,” he growled, his hips thrusting up to meet mine as his pace turned erratic. His dark eyes locked on mine, his voice soft but commanding. “Milk me, baby. Let me feel you. I’ll fill you up, yeah?”
“Yes,” I cried out, my voice desperate. “Fill me up, Jungkook. Please. I want it. I want all of you.”
“Fuck,” he groaned, his grip on me tightening as he slammed into me one last time, holding me down as his release hit. “That’s it, baby. Milk me. Fuck, you’re so good.”
The sensation of him filling me sent me over the edge, my body clenching around him as my orgasm crashed over me in waves. I cried out his name, my movements faltering as he held me close, his lips pressing against my neck as we both trembled through the aftershocks.
For a long moment, neither of us moved, our breaths mingling as we clung to each other. His hands stroked my back, his lips brushing softly against my shoulder as he whispered, “three words, eight letters. I mean it.”
“Three words, eight letters. I mean it more.” I murmured, my fingers tangling in his hair as I kissed him, my heart racing as the limo drove us to my house.
#rispwr#bts#bts x reader#jungkook ff#jungkook#jungkook smut#bts smut#jungkook fluff#rispwrrants#jungkook x reader
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