#or hell even bbc merlin
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yourstormthlaylirahh · 10 months ago
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#i was reading someones post and agreeing with them for the most part#until the got to the part about insisting kinnporsche was a meaty show with lots of substance to it especially compared to other thai drama#babe kp was all flash and style and no substance#they set it up as if it has substance and then the writing fell appart in the back half#it was especially funny cause this post was contrasting it to last twilight#which literally had the same fucking issue#really good for the first eps (in lt till ep 9 imo kp to ep 8) and then absolutely fell all over itself#undid a ton of stuff it set up and fell apart#kp isnt as egregious as lt imo because it didnt cause the same hurt and distress#it just became ridiculous in the not-fun way and stupid and all over the place#but like they are both examples of writing/directing teams biting off more than they could chew and failing miserably#the funny part was they were basing what was a meaty show with well rounded characters on how many fanfics where created based on it#i... dont think that fanfic and fanart numbers are inherently indicative of quality#look at the number of fanworks for supernatural#or hell even bbc merlin#which i adore but the shows execution was. uh. not the best.#its more indicative of how fandom culture has changed than anything else with people jumping from interest to interest#they werent flawless but if we are thinking of thai bl with substance and something to say? not me and the eclipse are right there#i know it isnt for everyone because the lakorn style is really strong but khun chai broke a lot of the standards for lakorns to my knowledg#miracle of teddy bear has substance and weight to it and people barely gave it the time of day#i just rolled my eyes so hard#and im in a bitchy mood right now so i had to come vent#emilys fandom thoughts
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nextstopparis · 1 year ago
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you know how in 5.13 arthurs like “i tried to take your head off with a mace” and merlins like “and i stopped you, using magic” and arthurs immediate reply to that is “you cheated” … and i guess i was just thinking about the breathy little laugh merlin lets out in response to that. bc like i just noticed how maybe it was a little bit of relief and awe. because like. he just talked to arthur. about magic. about using magic From The Beginning. against him in a fight. and arthurs immediate response, his most natural reaction to that, was to comment on merlins poor sportsmanship. out of anything he couldve said something about. the first thing that came to mind was merlin not playing fair. which. idk. IDK!!!
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msue0027 · 4 months ago
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In bbc merlin you hear all the time about the Old Religion - which implies existence of the New Religion. Only recently i worked out what it's ought to be.
It's Christianity.
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persepaien · 7 days ago
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Hello would you like a whole lot of Katie McGrath for the price of less Katie McGrath? Of course. But let me sell it to you anyway:
I've been having a miserable year and I'm about to have to refinance my credit card bill, which goes at about a 300% yearly interest rate.
Last year, right after one of my cats had passed from FeLV-related complications, another one of my cats was diagnosed with cancer and after a lengthy battle had to be euthanised in January. A couple months later my grandmother, who raised me for half my life, caught dengue fever during one of the worst epidemics in recent history in Brazil, and passed away after a coma. I caught it myself a week after her funeral, a particularly nasty hemorrhagic strain that minced my immune system. I caught covid, for the first time ever, right after. I had barely began to recover physically a couple months ago and my check-up returned 2nd degree AV blocks in my ECG, which I need to follow up with a specialist, and I've got RSI in my dominant wrist and a significant loss of cervical lordosis, which has been causing me migraines, pain and numbness and I need physiotherapy for. And then, last month, my 14 year old dog was also diagnosed with terminal cancer and is in palliative care.
Physical and psychological exhaustion snowballed, it's been really hard to work, then it got harder with generative AI, and I've been drowning in vet bills, doctors, labs, meds bills.
Fortunately (¿?) my currency is devalued 5:1 to the dollar, 7:1 to the pound, and 6:1 to the euro, so if just 15 people up there buy this bundle it will be enough to save me from financial ruin this year.
So if you can't afford it, please reblog so it finds those who can.
This is nearly every art of Katie McGrath I've done since 2012, a couple which aren't posted and you'll only find here, variations also exclusive to this bundle, sketches, linearts, old versions, pretty much everything I got.
Available on Gumroad and Ko-fi.
And if you're wondering who the everloving even is that, I've got other art you might like, or if you just wanna throw some change my way you can tip me on Ko-fi.
Like the Katie bundle, these art bundles come with high-res files you can print as you wish, plus everything else I have of them, sketches, process gifs, WIPs, unpublished, exclusive variations, old versions.
I try to give you the best bang for your buck :]
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❧ Site ❧ Linktree ❧ Gumroad ❧ Ko-fi ❧ INPRNT
Here's some more art you'll find on my stores, and thank you for reblogging! 🫀🗡️
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sexy-sapphic-sorcerer · 8 months ago
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MERLIN HAS JUST BEEN REMOVED FROM STAN
what the fuck. I subscribed to stan almost entirely for Merlin. literally what do I do now. I fucking hate streaming services
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kateis-cakeis · 3 months ago
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Thinking about the structure of the Old Religion.
From what we know there's the Nine which refers to the High Priestesses of the Triple Goddess - powerful sorcerers who obtained immortality (unless killed by some form of magic), and performed important rituals of the Old Religion.
It is unknown if there was a High Priest equivalent, but Gaius in S1Ep13 does tell Merlin that "the High Priests have the power to mirror life and death". This suggests that perhaps there were High Priests of the Triple Goddess, and that they also had a Nine.
There's the Bendrui, women who failed to become part of the Nine. Just like those who eventually became High Priestesses of the Triple Goddess, they were chosen at birth for the priesthood - taken from their families and raised as initiates of the Old Religion. Despite their failure, Bendrui are practiced in potent magic, and appear to have above average gifts.
There's the Bloodguard, warrior priests who swore to protect the High Priestesses. They, like the High Priestesses, were the only people to ever set eyes upon the staff carved from the Rowan tree that grows at the very heart of the Isle of the Blessed.
It could be suggested that like the Bendrui, the Bloodguard could have been failed High Priests, but there is no evidence (other than the existence of the Bendrui, and the mention of High Priests) to truly suggest this.
It is also unknown if the Bloodguard served the Triple Goddess. It is possible that the priests served various different gods of the Old Religion, but due to their relation to the Nine specifically, it is likely these warrior priests served the Triple Goddess.
There's the Catha, which contains priests. (Alator is referred to being "of the Catha, warrior and priest", he also says "I'm a Catha priest").
It is unknown if they served the Triple Goddess, or a different god of the Old Religion (and we know they are priests of the Old Religion because Morgana says, "He's a Catha...priest of the Old Religion.").
They have their own language, however, suggesting that they are a unique culture, and perhaps even an ethnic group. (This is further supported by Alator saying Catha are trained from birth to master all physical pain, it is also said that they guard their ancient knowledge - which leans towards them being a people rather than just initiates of the Old Religion)
There's the Disir, the highest court of the Old Religion, made up of three women chosen at birth to be trained as seers and soothsayers. They are the mouthpiece of the Triple Goddess, and interpret her word. As Gaius says, "When they sat in judgement, their word was final". They pass on the runemark, which is both judgement and fate - it contains a person's guilt, as well as the path the gods have chosen for them.
There's the Druids, a peaceful people who worship the Old Religion and often possess magic. It's a part of their beliefs to help people in need of care, and therefore, those who weren't born a Druid can find a home amongst them (Morgana is one such example).
Moreover, the Druids look for children with the gift of telepathy to serve as apprentices (perhaps to keep them safe? perhaps to encourage their magic in childhood?). The Druids also have a tattoo of a triskelion somewhere on their body, perhaps as a part of a ritual (to indicate someone has become a Druid?).
While the Druids have an intimate knowledge of prophecy and destiny, especially regarding Emrys and the Once and Future King, they do not appear to be priests or priestesses in any form. Just like the Catha, they have their own language (called the Druid tongue and Druidic Runes by Gaius), therefore, it is possible that they too are a unique culture and/or an ethnic group.
There's the Isle of the Blessed, a sacred location of the Old Religion, said to be the centre of it, and the focus of its power - it is also where the power of the ancients can still be felt after the Great Purge. Artifacts such as the Rowan staff, the Cup of Life, and the Horn of Cathbhadh were kept there under the care of the High Priestesses. Furthermore, Morgana's healing bracelet was forged on Isle - suggesting that its power allowed for the creation of powerful artifacts (this is further supported by the Rowan staff which was carved from the tree that grows there).
In a deleted scene for S4Ep1, Morgause says when she was first brought to the Isle, the hallways were teeming with women - High Priestesses. Although it is said often within the fandom, canon never establishes if the initiates were trained on the Isle. This deleted scene, however, heavily suggests it.
There's the Caerlanrigh, a sacred spring within the Grove of Brineved. There, the Disir reside within a cave, where the spring feeds into an ancient pool - in which the Disir divine from. The old ways are at their strongest there, and it's at the very centre of their powers (whether Gaius meant the old ways or the Disir here is unclear).
There's the Cauldron of Arianrhod, a sacred site of the Old Religion. The lake contains the power of the White Goddess, who can be summoned to heal those affected by the Teine Diaga ritual. However, if such a person is tricked into entering the cauldron, their soul would be lost forever.
There's the Crystal Cave, said to be the birthplace of magic. It is filled to the brim with scrying crystals that show the past, present, and future. Taliesin used the cave as the source of his prophecies for the kings of old. And as much as the crystals can be controlled, they can force visions upon powerful sorcerers too.
The cave can also hold spirits within it, seen with both Balinor and Taliesin.
While this may have been the case for Merlin alone, the cave can restore a person's magic.
There are celebrations important to the Old Religion too, such as:
Samhain, a time of year where the people feel closest to the spirits of their ancestors, in which they celebrate their passing.
During Samhain it was traditional for the High Priestesses to gather on the Isle of the Blessed and perform a blood sacrifice to release the Dorocha. This was done on the stroke of midnight, when the veil between the worlds is at its thinnest.
Since the Dorocha do not roam free in the world throughout the series, it is suggested that a second blood sacrifice was done by the High Priestesses - perhaps before the night was through - to close the veil once more.
In Camelot, a feast is held as part of the celebrations. (This suggests that while the Old Religion and its practices were abandoned during and after the Purge, the heart of the religion and its holidays were never replaced).
Beltane, a time of year where the High Priestesses would gather at the Great Stones of Nemeton and summon the spirits of their ancestors with the Horn of Cathbhadh. It opens the door to the Spirit World and allows the person who blew the horn to see and speak with their ancestor of choice.
In Camelot a feast is held as part of the celebrations (which much like Samhain seems indicate that the Old Religion has been around for so long that it cannot be removed from society entirely - that the people clung onto some traditions, including the royal family).
There's the Gods of the Old Religion, the Triple Goddess, the White Goddess, and Nemaine. It could be implied that the White Goddess, and the Earth Mother Nemaine are part of the Triple Goddess, but it is just as likely for them to be separate gods.
If so, the Triple Goddess is heavily associated with the Nine, destiny and fate, and the immortality of certain sorcerers. Perhaps she is also associated with the balance of the world, due to the power over life and death being tied to the High Priestesses and supposed High Priests.
The White Goddess, however, appears to be associated with one's soul and healing. It was only her power that could heal and retain Gwen's soul after Teine Diaga ritual.
The Earth Mother Nemaine is related to Gean Canach, as it is said her tears forged the creature. The book Gaius reads from has more information, and from what can be deciphered, it says that Nemaine first wept at the slaughter of war, resulting in the Gean Canach crawling out of the Earth's belly (there is more written on the page, but it is impossible to tell what it says). This suggests that Nemaine lives within the Earth's core, and that she is indeed associated with nature and living beings as her name implies.
Furthermore, since she wept at the slaughter of war, she is perhaps the god of life itself, but not of the entire cycle. And due to the Gean Canach's abilities, to devour and drain a sorcerer of their magic, it is likely that this war's slaughter was brought about by magic.
It is possible that The Earth Mother Nemaine could be related to the Pool of Nemhain. Despite having different spellings in the show (the subtitles), they have extremely similar pronunciations (even if it is a bit different). Perhaps they are unrelated, but if they are one and the same, it could be suggested that the Earth Mother is connected to death as well as life, due to the pool being the last of the Five Gateways to the Spirit World. (This contradicts what is analysed in the above paragraph, but this post is meant to speculate multiple possibilities.)
Honourable mentions:
It could be suggested that the Quest Ritual was once part of the Old Religion. It includes the heir to the throne of Camelot transcending their body in order to receive a vision of a quest. This quest is meant to prove their worth to the people, and their worthiness of the throne. The heir prepares themself by cleansing their body and dressing in white robes. They spend an entire night kneeling on the floor, barefoot, with their eyes closed.
Due to how Arthur reacts in the morning when Uther pulls him out of it, and how sacred the entire process appears to be, it is as if the heir is actually gifted with a vision of a quest. This is supported by his reaction, as he looks dazed when relays what he has seen. Therefore, it seems as if the ritual includes some form of magic due to the preparation, and if so, then it's likely it was a practice of the Old Religion (specifically for the heirs of Camelot? Due to Camelot's association with the very heart of magic?)
It has been around for hundreds of years, so it is not outside the realm of possibility that the Quest Ritual is so old that the general consensus has forgotten its ties to the Old Religion, or much like Samhain and Beltane, it is perhaps so baked into society that it couldn't be abandoned.
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In S1Ep13, Merlin says that the "Old Religion died out centuries ago". Even in Series 1 this is far from true, but later seasons make this remark seem entirely ignorant. If anything, this sentiment comes from a post-Purge society, where the structures of the Old Religion no longer exist. Perhaps it is even propaganda that Uther pushed forward as people became more fearful over the years, turning away from the old ways despite once practicing such beliefs (and for the people of Camelot, still practicing some of those beliefs).
It is possible this was a retcon but if so then it's directly retconned in S1Ep13 when it's revealed that Nimueh is a High Priestess.
Anyhow, in response to Merlin's ignorance, Kilgharrah says, "The Old Religion is the magic of the Earth itself. It is the essence which binds all things together. It will last long beyond the time of men".
This shows that the Old Religion doesn't just refer to the religion and the gods, but rather it is the very magic that makes up the fabric of the world, and as Balinor says in S2Ep13 it's either a part of you or it isn't. This suggests that it is indeed not just a religion, but the very world, the Earth, magic.
He also goes on to say that Merlin must "find those who still serve it", which shows that Uther very much didn't succeed in eradicating the structure of the Old Religion entirely, at least at that point in the show. And perhaps that anyone could serve it, even after the very structure collapsed.
All this is to say that the Old Religion is extremely pagan. The structure itself is vague perhaps because Old Religion is personal, it is vague. The differences between the High Priestesses, the Catha, and the Druids make this clear. Following the Old Religion's beliefs, traditions, and holidays is personal and spiritual because it varies, because there is no wrong way. Because there are no set rules or a real structure at all. The High Priestesses had power, yes, but this seems to come directly from the Triple Goddess herself, rather than a societal standing.
Nimueh was at court, and she was Uther's friend, but she was also very quickly thrown from the court after Ygraine died. And yes, the High Priestesses went to war with the Ancient Kings, but that appears to be a difference in factions, rather than let's say the Christian church and its power over the centuries.
Therefore, I propose that the Old Religion as a religion was loose in its structure, that it never died out like Merlin said (which does seem to be a post-Purge sentiment), but instead simply changed and evolved, and continued to exist even after the Purge, with its holidays in Camelot, and with the Druids and their practices/beliefs.
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Overall, the information we have on the structure of the Old Religion is vague and patchy. This was perhaps intentional so the writers could work around existing canon to introduce new concepts without being constricted by their past worldbuilding. But that's getting into the Intentional Fallacy, so I'll leave that there.
It appears that the High Priestesses had the most power in society, due to their past wars with the Ancient Kings, and their sheer power and knowledge. Not to mention their artifacts and control over creatures like the Fomorroh.
But there are different beliefs and structures to the Old Religion, like with the Catha and the Druids, suggesting that there are multiple ways to worship and follow the Old Religion.
The many sacred sites show that there are different powers and sources to the Old Religion that have different purposes. Like how the path to the Cauldron of Arianrhod was lined with banners for pilgrims, not to necessarily summon the White Goddess, but to visit the site. Or how the Isle of the Blessed is a powerful religious site, while the Crystal Cave is a fairly legendary and unknown place that few ever get to see.
In conclusion, the Old Religion is vast and has many facets to it. There is some structure, but it doesn't seem entirely necessary in order to follow the Old Religion. And in reality, it is inherent to the Earth, it is magic itself.
#bbc merlin#merlin#i think that about covers everything and has about all i wanna analyse and speculate on :)#this is really a summary that will be helpful to me and probably only to me i expect this will get no notes :P#i love the old religion i really think it's cool and i like how there's gaps we can fill in with fanfic but it's always important to look#back at canon and understand what's actually there what the story says about it#and yeah I wrote this entire post because i was pondering something for my fic - mainly how much Camelot is tied#to the Old Religion which it really seems to be? like everything centres around it the heart the birthplace and such#and maybe there's that kinda thing in other kingdoms but I don't know if that's true given the Isle of the Blessed and hell even Avalon#i didnt include Avalon and Sidhe here because that doesn't quite apply to the human interpretation of the Old Religion#there's only one distinct thing i could say about it and that's the fact that Avalon is only seen by mortals when they're#about to die which links it to death and perhaps the Spirit World but it still appears to separate and more to do with the#Sidhe which seem to exist outside the conventions of the Old Religion we often see in the show - given that their#spell language is different (Old Irish as opposed to Old English much like how the Dragonlord tongue is Greek)#and like Avalon is not related to the structure of humans - and if I included it I'd have to include the dragons and such and that is#out of the scope of this post and it's already long enough so hey ho here have these tags :P#this is a 2.9k post including tags haha XD hope you have the setting on for long posts because im not putting this under a cut
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thebookishwallflower · 1 year ago
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oh hurt/comfort people have problems
honey, my current predominant fandom is merlin
it’s just one big hurt/comfort stew, and someone overdosed on the angst spices
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Do I need to watch BBC Merlin all over again? No
Will someone stop me if I do? Hell no and if they do they'll regret it
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a-chilleus · 11 months ago
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i just finished the merlin blank verse fic. it's 40 chapters. oh my god. i'm gonna post the last couple of chapters a couple of days apart i think to give my two readers time to read them instead of all at once and also so i can make sure i've proofread them but oh my godddd this thing's done what the hell
it's 36k words jesus fuck
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emlynphoenix · 2 years ago
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thesneezyunicorn · 2 years ago
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if i were trying to stop arthur from killing his dad, i simply wouldn't blame magic. rip to merlin's dreams of magic being legal in camelot but i'm different
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I'd like to remind everyone of that episode where Merlin just dumps Arthur's armour behind a chest... like...the WHOLE suit. Just shoves it behind a chest...
...I like to think Arthur finds it one day, or finds his sword shoved under his bed covers, or all his moth-eaten shirts are tucked behind the wardrobe... and Arthur just... never mentions it. I like to think he just keeps a mental log of Merlin's hiding places and whenever he can't find something, he starts looking under and behind things...
Wait a damn minute Merlin is an actual nightmare of a servant. Imagine you're the Prince and all of a sudden and only two seconds after surviving an assassination attempt you're stuck with this scrawny, clumsy fucking dude with a really shifty air about him who spends literal days in the tavern with zero notice, steals your food, tried to spy on a guest, doesn't let you hunt, can never fucking be found when you need him even though he is the literal manservant to the prince, which you would think should be a priority but apparently he has better things to do, and is always talking like he's the only thing standing between you and certain death???? Then he gives you attitude? Literally I would throw things at him too. Arthur is misunderstood he's actually being too nice
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two-sides-samecoin · 7 months ago
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i was just thinking about the sins of the father and god merlin’s input at the end of the show can be debated to hell and back. and also everyone talks about the scene where arthur tells merlin that magic is evil but i just kind of got to thinking just how this episode shows how much merlin is able to just hurt arthur in ways arthur doesn’t even know. we talk a lot about arthur hurting merlin in ways he doesn’t know which this ep handles at the end but this also shows how much merlin can HEAVILY hurt arthur. merlin witnesses such a deep moment between arthur and his mother. and it’s not just that he saw this it’s also that the two bonded over one of their parents being gone in this episode. it strengths them and makes them come to terms with one another and is one of the most vulnerable talks they have (at least up in that season). merlin literally heard and sees arthur tell his mother that he was the reason she died. arthur’s first words to ygraine were “i’m sorry” like merlin heavily sees what this does to arthur. merlin takes that connection and says she’s lying. you can debate about it all day if morgause actually summoned ygraine or not but the truth is what ygraine said!!! merlin willingly took this moment and memory away from arthur about his mother. it’s just actually so fascinating and also sooo crushing.
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oswinsdolma · 2 years ago
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the bbc merlin writers actually went so hard when they decided "actually no, magic isn't some grotesque perversion of the natural order, it is nature itself" because like. it would have been so easy to write merlin's internal conflict as one between the inherent evil of magic and the good of humanity, to put arthur in the right for his persecution and to turn merlin into some kind of doomed hero within himself, but no. because in the end, magic had very little to do with anything, it was just something that was there. morgana didn't turn evil because she was magic, she did because she was scared and angry and manipulated. merlin doesn't wait for arthur because of the promise of a golden age, at least not really; he does it because he loves arthur and wants him back. in the disiir episode, if it had only ever been about restoring magic to camelot, merlin should have sacrificed arthur in a heartbeat for the promise of magic's legalisation. hell, even mordred didn't kill arthur because of his views on magic, he did so because arthur took away the person he loved. like yeah it's a fantasy show and magic is a massive part of that world, but in the end it was a story about people, and all the hopes and dreams within it are deeply and tragically human, and that's what makes it a good story, what keeps us going apeshit over it even ten years after it ended. in a way, there are two shows in the same way there are two merlins: one about magic, "emrys" and the other about friendship, and like merlin, the audience has to choose which one we should care about most. and every time, we make the same choice as he did: we, however foolishly, choose humanity. we sob at the tragic trajectory and scream as we see destiny gathering traction, but isn't that the point of tragedy?? if we followed logic over emotion, tragedy would never take place, but equally, if we followed logic over emotion, the idea of tragedy itself would become lost to obselescebce. the whole point of the show is to tell us that "no, we can't define things as one or the other, because anything with meaning exists as something more complex, because to give something meaning is to perceive it with a human gaze". magic may be a force of nature, but good and evil are ideas perpetuated by our innate, incurable humanity, and it is here we have a choice. we can't choose our destinies but we can choose from which direction to embrace it, and that's a surprisingly radical, beautiful thing.
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highlynerdy · 3 months ago
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"I do it because I want to protect him from the world, and sometimes from myself. I want to tell him every secret I ever had, and yet I never want to make him choose, to see the hurt in his eyes, to put this, too, on him. I want-I want so many things. Sometimes, I just want."
Turning The Page by @queerofthedagger / art by @schweetheart
I started this fanARTifact in July 2021 and finally, finally finished it in September 2024. Click below to see so many more pictures and read probably too much about the project.
This project was a LABOR OF LOVE because y'all...I failed so, so many times during the making of it. I had grand dreams of all the things that I was going to do and learn and every single time I tried something it was like the universe telling me to go ahead and go fuck myself, we're not doing that. But it's done and I'm pleased with it. I hope Mona and Schweets are. Let's talk about the process.
I read this story back in July 2021 when it came out and immediately wrote @schweetheart on July 23, 2021 to ask if I could use her art for the back because it was such a crucial part of the story.
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She graciously allowed me to use it, and even sent me a high res file so I could have the portrait of Arthur printed on art paper.
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THEN. My brilliantly stupid self decided that just making the book wasn't enough. I mean, I had already done that for Arthur's journal back in 2020 and I am nothing if not a nutter about learning to do new things, especially for my fanARTifact series.
SO. I'm going to learn to make paper. Yeah. Totally a reasonable escalation in terms of new skills, right?? ......... Nope. I bought a small 5x7 mould and deckle to practice with and some cotton linters to make the pulp. Twas. A. Failure. I didn't have a press or the felts or the sizing needed to make the paper actually, ya know, usable. This was the first time I put the project down for a while.
Moving on to another new skill in late 2021, I decided that I wanted to make the walnut ink myself. Luckily, I was part of a pigment subscription in 2020 (that is a hell of a nerdy statement, even for me) and had all the supplies in my art studio to attempt this endeavor.
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I didn't fail this part! Fucking huzzah for small miracles. Now I had two small bottles of black walnut ink to use for the calligraphy that I wanted to do for some of the excerpts. Except now I was stuck again on the paper making part so I put it back down again for an eternity.
Picking it back up in late 2022, I asked Mr. Highlynerdy to make a custom size mould and deckle for me so I could have long pieces to fold for my signatures. It was his first time doing anything like this but he's a buddy and a pal and gave it a try. Surprising no one if you've read this far, we both failed this part. Even now, I'm still not sure we succeeded but eventually we did get something workable. And considering professional mould and deckles cost in the hundreds of dollars...yeah, it'll do.
It took a hot ass minute for me to feel ready to attempt the paper making again but once I was ready, I ordered wet, pre-beaten pulp from Twinrocker. A very curt man on the phone helped me figure out what I needed and added internal sizing to the pulp I ordered. I didn't take pictures of any of the paper stuff because it was very messy and annoying. Once again, Mr. Highlynerdy helped me rig up a drying box with tri-wall cardboard and ratchet straps and a box fan. Once the paper was dry, I used a gelatin mixture to paint on external sizing. Since I'm primarily a painter, I needed the paper to be able to handle ink, paint, pencil. Sizing paper is the only way to do this, but no worries, I won't go further into the nerdy details about this.
Once the paper was ready, I decided to sew the text block. Here's another part where I failed YET A-FUCKING-GAIN. I talked before on Arthur's Journal post about how books were very, very rare in the 6th century (Arthurian period), but BBC Merlin is soooooo anachronistic that it's fiiiiiine to just do what I wanted. HOWEVER. I did want to try to do visible spine binding. But. Unfortunately I had gone ahead and used all of my paper to bind the text block as if I was going to case it in. FUUUUUUUCCCCCK. It's fine. We're fine. Come on, brain. What can we do.
Well, what we CAN'T do is use a piece of leather from my large remnant that I bought for my first journal because someone - FUCKING ME - measured and cut the last piece NOT TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THE WIDTH of the text block. So now it doesn't fit. And refusing to buy a new piece of leather I'm forced to pivot once again.
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I decided to cut the leather spine even shorter, buy some wood pieces and sand them, paint them a matte black, and then glue the leather to those pieces. Cool cool cool. We're moving on. I tested a lot of different glues for this and good ol' super glue ended up being the clear winner. Cue putting this project away again for a whiiiillle.
In October 2023, I decided to pull it out again and do the calligraphy and drawings I wanted. This story has so many gorgeous parts but I finally decided on the first page, the last page, and the page about Gaius.
I mixed my handmade walnut ink with my beloved Finetec gold and used the quills I bought from John Neal Booksellers to practice my Uncial. I shouldn't have been rusty after lettering an entire fic for this fanARTifact, but I was.
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The little dragon was inspired by medieval manuscript dragons I found.
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Narratively, I loved the idea that Merlin's writing would start off soft and delicate and become stronger by the end of the journal. Also, I loved that the end word "WANT" would be just gold because the ink blend changes throughout. Something magical or whatever.
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This part needed tears. They might have been real ones...
Annnnnnnnd, the project was put down again until a few days ago when I decided, after getting back into Merlin fic, I needed to buck up and finish it.
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I did so many tests for the cover. I tried embossing, carving, and debossing and hated all of them. I settled on painting it with acrylic paints in the shape of a Celtic knot sort of pattern. I originally wanted to do a triskelion but after reading a bit about how some asshole groups have co-opted the symbol for shitty purposes, I decided against it. It's a mix of black and gold and it's hard to capture the depth of it through photos...eh, I did what I could.
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Still. Something wasn't quite working with the brown leather and the black covers with the new symbol so I broke out my matte black leather paint and decided to go all black.
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All I had left to do was glue in the text block and it would be done! And that still took me a few days to work up the courage. The book opens nice and flat, which will be good for me as I will use it as a sketchbook.
Sitting here, on September 1st, I have completed a project that taught me many new skills and also taught me a lot about humility and perseverance. There was no way I was going to abandon this project, and maybe I should have started over many of the times, but I am quite in love with the final result and I just hope that it does it's inspiration proud. Thank you @queerofthedagger Mona for all you create and share with the Merlin fandom, and thank you @schweetheart for allowing me to use your gorgeous art.
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Also, you may see quite a few other fanARTifacts in this photoshoot because I will use any opportunity to show them off lol.
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If you read to the end of this, you deserve a cocktail and a cookie. Thank you. 💛✨✨
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alexvacice · 1 year ago
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This but also Merlin giving up his personhood for Arthur. In the first seasons he's a happy, strong-willed loud mouth kid who has to hide his magic because of the law and who reluctantly helps Arthur because he keeps getting put in situations where he has to save his ass. But over the course of the show there's a gradual shift in his character, where he hides his magic only because he doesn't want to inconvenience Arthur, where he helps him because Kilgarrah and Gaius keep telling him it's his destiny. Gaius especially tells him more so that his destiny is to protect Arthur period. Not to protect Arthur to bring about a new age of Camelot. And the conversations in Diamond of the day pt. 2 solidify the subtext into text, where Merlin says he was born to serve Arthur and in his magic confession says that he uses magic only for him. And Arthur is the only reason Merlin lives that long. It's one hell of a devotion. He becomes a prop to the prophecy, instead of being his own person.
(Really makes me wish more people would explore this part of Merlin's character, it gets so overlooked by the fandom because we all just love the banter)
this is why their dynamic is so fucking ridiculous okay. because in ancient greece goddamn plato was writing about how humans were split apart by the gods and left wandering the earth without their perfect other half. that humans cannot be complete without that half. and then in merlin in TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHT the writers decided having arthur be merlin’s destiny wasn’t enough. they needed to be each other’s half too. like are you okay. are you guys okay. and when arthur dies, right, merlin is left alive longer than any other person in history has been without his perfect half. his soulmate. and he’s an old man when the series finishes. a lonely old man. and it’s like bronte said. like heathcliff said. do not leave me in this abyss. that’s what merlin meant when he yelled at the dragon, “i can’t lose him! he’s my friend!” he meant— this is my destiny, my other half, he makes me whole. and merlin was unable to move on from something like that. its a concept shakespeare explored, a concept all artists aspire for. a concept that shapes the romantic genre as we know it. how can you realise all that and still think merlin & arthur were just friends.
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