#been very fortunate that people organizing really dope publications have been liking my writing ;-;

[essektheylyss]

Oh hey! Do you like stories about wlw and weird, convoluted forms of time travel? Do you like supporting queer folks making cool art? Did River Song rewire your brain as a teenager?

I wrote a short story called "A Practical Study of Time" for Baffling Magazine, a queer speculative fiction mag! It's published on Patreon, if you're interested in becoming a patron of a super neat lit mag—or it'll be on their site when their eleventh issue is published in April!

[sophisticated-idleness]

Found A GEM

So, a few years back – less than 10 but more than 3, an estimate that for some reason now rings more like a riddle – I discovered a Goldmine of Hypnosis Audio.

I remember that I had just gotten into torrents – or had I just gotten into hypnosis / NLP – and looked up some Hypnosis for Procrastination, because McGill. In finding the appropriate hypnotic induction for the job, I also discovered a massive treasure trove of material to go with it. The file included audio from all the Meditation and Hypnosis Greats, including Paul Scheele, Kelly Howell, Paul McKenna, Dick Sutphen, Deepak Shopra, to name just a few.  I gleefully downloaded the whole 2GB Shabang onto laptop number 1,200,224. Viruses be damned! …Wait, maybe that’s why I went through so many laptops..

Anyway, back to the story.

Fortunately,  I actually found them all to be quite useful. In fact, they were all dope, so well done, and absolutely unique.  I just remember that the quality of the subliminals, paraliminals, and background tracks was amazing. They were clearly created by professionals who take hypnosis and their patients very seriously.

Some of the key tracks, such as “The Secret Universal Mind Meditation”, and Paul Scheele’s “Self-Esteem Supercharger,” went with me everywhere. Meaning, over the years I would diligently transfer them onto new USBS, keep an eye out to ensure they were in every new Dropbox account, and email them to myself periodically. There was also an awesome Quit Smoking Hypnotic Audio that worked really well for me. So well that I ultimately didn’t have to keep an eye on the file, and I lost it at some point, a long with a bunch of others – about 70 others.  And Dropbox closed the account that I stored them on, due to inactivity. Which is a thing (Ugh, Dropbox) if you didn’t know!

I no longer torrent because I have a Chromebook right now. I know you can on these little guys, somehow, someway, but I have enough diddleydoos and plugins and codes on here, that I don’t know how my non-developer self figured out, and y’all…I’m tired.

Which brings me to today’s discovery!

So, after searching high and low over the Interwebs “index of” for files whose names I could not even remember, using keywords such as “hypnosis drum beat procrastination” and “forest hypnosis” knowing damn well those were just attributes of the track and not present in their titles whatsoever…

I found the entire freaking database again!!

*Does Horizontal Happy Dance*… Meaning, just shimmying in bed ya sickies.

I was really only looking for one particular track, so I was stoked to find the whole thing.

Ladies, gents, I’m already reaping the benefits.

It is absolutely perfect timing for me because I need it. I am at an interesting life junction and not only have the time and space, but the will and patience, to really dive deep into these tracks and readings (oh yeah, there are PDFs also).

My energy is up and down write now, and the tracks are great background to help me feel better about laying in bed in the middle of the day (more info about the reason for that will come in another blog post <3).

I also needed the manifestation of finding it.

I will include a portion of track list and if anyone is interested just leave me a comment and I’ll link you.

I may just post the main link here later too. Or my own public Dropbox so people can access the material.

They are seriously amazing.

  As for my writing. I would like to have my posts be more polished and edited with my punctuation on point and bold concepts given their rightful font, visual inflections and emphasis… but I’m happy writing and posting as is right now.

An unedited, unfussed, unself-conscious piece of writing that sees the light of day as a full blog post, –  rather than a 140 character, pithy reflection, posing as writing – is the goal for me right now.

In the past, the quest for perfect prose has kept me from publishing at all.  #AMetaphorYall

On that note, I am looking forward to writing more, and really giving you guys the real truth of my life.

I can’t tell you how much it helps me when I hear authentic stories from people who have given their audience the gift of their truth.

It is so much easier said than done to put out your truth, even if it’s to strangers.

It fascinates me how we have put ourselves in the position, as humans, where hiding things, faking the funk, and being scared to embody your true self (or even wonder who that is), is the norm. We are all the same with all the same crap so how do we even get away with judging each other? It’s almost laughable if you think about it – but I am guilty of it too. Judgement is not a sin. It is a useful human mechanism based on our 5 sensory receiving of information. Much of your identity, and organic self is cemented, perfected really, by knowing what you like and don’t like.

But the way in which humans have internalized the perception of others to the point where our truth has become confused, shame is the norm, and the voice in our head is more oppressive than its public, is both fascinating and upsetting.  I lean towards the latter in my characterization of it though, because I think judgment – of self, and of others – is the root cause for most individual suffering.

    All that to say – thanks for being real! And thank you for reading without judgement (or with judgement! All is well).

Hit me up for the link or if you have any questions about Hypnosis, and/or why I’ve been in bed on and off for a week. I’m not sick. I haven’t had as much as a cold in 2 years but that’s a different blog post innit.

Love you, Love Me, Love Life

Shout out to Bay Art for inviting me on as a contributor by the way. I read the description to the site and almost teared up because it was SO me, and so aligned with everything that I want to do with Truth Talks and MillennialsInTheVortex™.

Thank you Deniz Yalım for creating something that speaks to the core of my soul. My first post in still in progress, but it’s coming! Blessings to you and everyone on Bay Art.

  from Found A GEM