#like annihilation. or fortnite.

[four-pointed-leaf]

If you still taking requests... Siffrin and Dragon!Loop flying over (any place really. whatever isn't a nightmare to draw) to calm sif down from a panic attack?

this probably shouldn’t be as calming as it is.

[shroomiethefrogwhisperer]

People like my fuckin alien shit

So here. Have a list of all my characters.

Karen: Ship's mechanic. Human (American-Indian). Fun, snarky, mom vibes, dabbles in illegal drug dealing. She/Her, heterosexual. Has a brown bob with a side undercut, blue eyes, and dark tanned skin, lots of tattoos (including Rainbow Dash). She's like 36.

Steve: Comms Expert. Human (Korean-Japanese). Chill, easygoing, likes video games and Cinnamon Toast Crunch, can and will beat your ass at fortnite. He/Him, gay. Has short black hair, dark brown eyes, pale skin, and a few piercings. He's in his early twenties.

Moss: Translator. Human (Hispanic). Chaotic, sarcastic, an absolute gremlin, has a pet ratbird (keeps trying to domesticate the entire ratbird infestation that lives in the pipes). They/It, pansexual polyamorous. Has curly, bright green/pink hair, blue eyes, and slightly tanned skin. They're twenty-nine.

Zzgnaru. Ship's Captain. Alien (Nobletsk). Tired parent vibes, serious, literal, bad at nuance, loves plushies. Xey/xem, aroace. Brown/black scales, 6 yellow eyes, white horns, spiky tail, pink claws. Xey're 52.

Amethyst: Navigator. Alien (Penaconian). Sweet, happy, literally a ball of sunshine, everyone's sweetheart cutie who also has anxiety. Obsessed with anime (Moss showed him JJK and AoT, and now he's into KnY, MHA, and, like, Helluva Boss.) He/they, demiromantic bisexual. Short blonde hair with purple highlights, hazel eyes, pale skin. He's 32.

Banana: First Mate. Alien (Zzbrk). Comedic, silly, madly in love with Moss (BUT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET), completely unserious like Captain Jack Sparrow unserious. She/fae, poly, omnisexual. Yellow/brown scales, vitiligo skin, golden eyes, shaved head, white spikes. She's 43.

Douri: Weapons Operater #1. Alien (Aaki). Depressed as shit, loose cannon-type shit, can and will eat your tacos. It/Its, asexual panromantic. Basically just a humanoid blob of orange slime. No one knows its age.

Josh: 2nd Mate. Human (American). Kind of a psycho, hilarious, autistic, likes sharks. And things that look like sharks. Steve’s boyfriend. He/Him, bisexual. Black dreadlocks, umber skin, dark eyes. He's also in his twenties.

Rhïianae: Weapons operator #2. Alien (Jawa). Collects random shit and makes guns out of them. Has severe adhd. Can never finish a project (took apart a secondary engine about a year ago and it's still disassembled). ??? skin, orange eyes, ??? Hair. Fae/Faun/It, demisexual polyamorous. Faun's in its mid-thirties.

Calixtian: Ship's Doctor. Alien (Penaconian). Likes doing experiments on beings of lesser sentience (or heck, same level-sentience, he doesn't care), mad scientist-esque, no one likes him. Blue-green hair, orange eyes, vitiligo skin. He/Him, aromantic. He's 46.

Nøræxx: Interplanetary criminal. Alien (Asgardian). Wanted for weapons smuggling and illegal mercenary work. Is the cavalry reserved for when Douri and Rhïinae are out, is the bodyguard. Dark hair, green eyes, tanned skin. She/He/They, cupioromantic asexual. 500+ years old.

Bastier. Comms student. Human (British). Clueless, cute, easily confused, has OCD, likes cats. Speaks 8 interplanetary languages (not including Earth languages, which he speaks at least twenty of). Blonde hair, pale skin, blue eyes. He/Him, heterosexual (bicurious). 19 years old.

The Ship. "Steroid Annihilator". Modified Class 8 Torigrian K-Wing Destroyer. Got its name when Zzgnaru, Karen, Douri, and Steve successfully piloted it through the Inter-Galaxian Asteroid Fields. Zzgnaru wanted to name it Ssjuokimbl (Conqueror of Rocks), but Steve suggested Asteroid Annihilator instead, and when they got it painted on the side, the artist doing the paint job spelled it wrong. Karen couldn't stop laughing for days.

Note: Steve is a Chill Gay™️, and Josh is a Chaotic Gay™️.

[toastedspades]

Uh this post is kinda long and about Deepwoken

Deepwoken's setting is one of my Favorites Ever, but it's being poorly served by some of the decisions that have been made.

I'm going to first talk about some decisions I like. For example, the character loss and high-damage attacks from monsters convey excellently how unforgiving the environment is, and the lack of any recognizable real-world fauna give a sense that the environment is alien and inhospitable. Chirping birds in the ambience that plays in Etrea and the occasional nest with eggs are the only evidence of any non-hostile terrestrial life. Deepwoken is at its best when you are in a strange unfamiliar land not knowing what sort of alien creature will be around the next corner or perched on a cliff out of sight, with the very real risk of losing your character and having to make a new one.

This tension is undermined completely by the fact that this is a multiplayer Roblox game. The fact that you can run into other people on the same journey as you sounds, on paper, like a strength. It sounds like it'd make the world feel so much more alive having actual people in it, but that's almost the opposite of what Deepwoken is going for. Deepwoken is set in a world that's been flooded back to basically right before the industrial revolution, technology-wise. Remaining settlements are tiny and barely scraping by and the islands without human settlements are populated largely by eldritch horrors. The underworld level you're sent to when your character dies is a giant city carved from stone that's been dragged to the bottom of the ocean by a cult seeking power of sleeping gods that, the last time they nearly woke, destroyed the world. So imagine you're doing some scavenging in some ruins, fighting off horrible crabs with swords for legs (real monster you can fight), and you run into someone while you're there. His name is Jimbo Ashi. He's made his character look like Goku Dragon Ball. He hits the griddy and then sends you flying off a cliff into the ocean where you die of fall damage and have to remake your character. This sucks.

Another way the tension of the game is made meaningless is player-made Guilds. If you go to any settlement and fork over some cash, you can place down a door to your Guild Base. This completely sucks all tension out of any exploration. Who needs to manage their inventory space and adequately prepare for extended journeys when you can place a merchant down in the dungeon that'll buy all your garbage off you and sell you all the food and water you need whenever you need it? Who needs to bring wood for a campfire or a flint to light it with when there's a campfire that's always available and doesn't weigh anything a button press away? Hell, there's like a bounty hunting system where players can be teleported to other players with the express purpose of killing, but they can't get to you in the almighty Guild Base. The bounty system has its problems, sure, but it's meant to be a punishment for having negative reputation with the factions of the world. A punishment that can be entirely circumvented by placing down the funny door. Guilds also have a few different leaderboards, one of which is "PvP Score". This incentivizes people staking out entrances to popular PvE activities like dungeons and world bosses with builds geared towards annihilating their fellow players as quickly and efficiently as possible so they can make the Number Go Up. This also sucks.

In recent memory, playing Deepwoken has felt more like playing Fortnite. Fortnite's a fine game, but it's not what I want to be playing when I log onto what is supposed to be a completely different experience. I want to be able to recommend this unique open world rogue-like RPG with its excellent music and aesthetics, but I can't recommend the anime fighting game the devs clearly wish they were making instead.

the music is really good though, look:

[julibellule]

“Why’s it not moving?”

“Ah– I think they turn the electricity off so none of them can move until everyone’s got a car–”

At which point, their car lurches forward. Stede yelps (again) and grabs onto the side. Ed, meanwhile, drives with the silent fury of a storm. His eyes shine with wild thrill and he bears his teeth. Stede holds on for dear life.

“Let’s get this arsehole over here,” Ed announces, and Stede notes with some alarm that the arsehole in question is practically a kid, sixteen to eighteen-ish, wearing a Fortnite t-shirt.

“Ed!”

“Look at him, he’s a dick! Didn’t you see him just make that little girl cry, ramming into her car like that? Look at the prick, he’s laughing– it’s fuckin’ karma, come on–”

It’s really out of Stede’s hands to be honest, because there’s no way he’s going to be able to steer Ed off his righteous path of vengeance. Stede doesn’t want to, either, particularly when he sees the shit-eating grin on the kid’s face. Ed slams a foot down on the accelerator and crashes directly into the side of his car for maximum impact. The whiplash is brutal but the boy recovers fast enough to shoot Ed and Stede an offended glare and gives the wanker gesture.

“OI! That– that is very rude!” Stede exclaims, because honestly, he is a bit shocked. He’s far too young to be so cocky, but there he is, driving away and now giving them the middle finger. “Fuck this! Ed, let’s annihilate him!”

>>> Click here for more BlackBonnet fic recs <<<

[glitchcraftanimation]

Wactivision's hottest-ever release of premature corporate leakage! Unveiling the brand-new original console game, DEVIL'S PLAYTHING XXXVII (37). Classic oldskool game hero couple Chris and Candy are made relevant once again with innovative new features like jump and autosave.

Watch Here: https://youtu.be/OhVx_jgjWzk

Featuring: Michael Winslow

For more video game comedy, 

visit: https://glitchcraftanimation.com/

GLITCHCRAFT is a mature animated comedy series about gamers and gaming companies. Explores our hyped/ disappointed relationship with technology, like funny trailers that fail to deliver.

Through animated shorts and game spoofs, GlitchCraft mocks the worldwide gaming industry's greed and bloat. Moreover, these funny animation shorts (like funny Minecraft videos) show love for the artistry, the fans, and the hardworking gaming developers.

ELIKA is an Asian-American woman on the wrong side of her 30s. Her dream is to create awesome original video games. She experienced limited early success with "Kitty Candy Crack," a highly addictive mobile game. Elika is a new voice in gaming, an art form looking for fresh perspectives. She offers a unique and humorous outlook, injecting laughter into her video game parodies. She's flawed and human, not an impeccable "role model."

WACTIVISION (nothing like ACTIVISION - never even heard of 'em) is the nearly-ultimate behemoth of AAA gaming. They seek to annihilate all competitors - the corporate equivalent of winning a Victory Crown in Fortnite Battle Royale. They own all the top games, yet seem to have no idea why...

Wac takes pride in embodying the absolute worst practices of the industry, boastful in their contempt for fans, employees, and humanity as a whole (by coincidence, the company is 90% artificial intelligence). They're the masterminds behind the legendary "Devil's Plaything" franchise, which remains innovative and impactful, even in its 37th iteration.

GlitchCraft is animated and brought to life by best buds, united by their shared passion for games, comedy and cartoons. One is a storyboard artist for "The Simpsons" for close to 200 episodes.

[thatnerduknow98]

“Your majesty, we are approaching Planet X-15377, known to the locals as Earth. Would you like to fully engage in tactical warfare or slip a disguise into their political system to take over the planet?”

“Which would would require you to bother me less? I’m almost done with this level.”

“Umm … my Queen?”

“Seriously Gharkus, I am on my last life and trying so very hard to beat this stupid spiky fire breathing looking thing, so if you would quit interrupting me for the love of the creator.”

“I see, is this the irrational, controller-breaking game rage you warned me about a Fortnite ago?”

*sighs* “Yes. Now takeover the planet with whatever means you think will result in bothering me less.”

“Well, your highness, my first thought is tactical, classical warfare would be faster, but if the humans are watching you game, annihilating them would decrease your - what did you call it? Streams? Introducing one of our own into their political system will take much, much longer, and quite frankly, they may destroy themselves before we could even get into a world-conquering election, but it would keep more people interested in your gaming hobby.”

-dramatic pause-

“Yes, the chat agrees with you. Avoid nuking these n00bs for new and let me continue to mesmerize them with my gas platforming skills. Now, go bother someone else.”

You are an alien Hive Queen and you’re supposed to be conquering Earth right now. But you’re to busy with your career streaming video games on the internet.

[alpineapples]

✩ hey! I'm alpineapples (she/her but I find people assuming I'm a guy super hilarious)! i'm a californian/uk based artist focused on drawing things I love whilst navigating through computer science! ✩

my supplies are an Ipad 9 w/Pencil or an Acer Nitro (idk the make and don't come after me for using a gaming laptop) with an Xp-Pen Deco Pro (Sm/Md).

For clarification I am NOT neurodivergent, nor do I have Tourette's.

✎ furries, animals, people, mechs, some gore, ships✎

☒ nsfw, heavy heavy gore, pedophilic/proshipping☒

likes and likes i'm getting into:

♡ crysis, halo, COD (infinite warefare/mw), lord of the rings/silmarillion, transformers, minecraft storymode, jjk, ghost in the shell (animated), soulsborne, silly cats (soggy/shark, lunaistabby, crunchycat, uni), red dead redemption, titanfall, ark survival evolved, + Jurassic media, stardew valley, metal hellsinger, pvz gw2 ♡

☁︎ dragon ball, IDW transformers, dinosaurs as a whole, chainsaw man manga, fortnite (thats the extent of pvp games) ☁︎

♫ lorna shore, infant annihilator, jiluka, sleep token, lady gaga, rihanna, in flames, video game + anime music ♫

✎ want a commission? make sure you have one of these: ✎

╰┈➤ Steam account

╰┈➤ Fortnite account

╰┈➤ Discord account

Commissions can range from $5-25 USD based on the order and the games/prices available on these sites until I set up a PayPal.

msg me on tumblr or @alpineapples on discord if your interested! replies are usually quicker on discord, please note i am fluctuating between GMT and PST over the next few years as I settle into partnership! :)

and that's all from me!

cheers friends, thanks for getting to know about me a little bit!

✎ alp ✎

[mikeyismyboyfriend]

(oh boy more rise headcanons get ready boys and girls and gentlepeople)

Rise Headcanons: epic gaming edition

Let's start with Mikey Baby:

Surprisingly does not play Minecraft, does not give his ADHD brain enough stimuli. Donnie tried to mod it for him, but still nothing.

Also surprisingly is a genshin and HSR player but hides it from his brothers because they very much make fun of the two games.

Surprisingly addicted to lego fortnite with Leo atm however, as there's enough combat to give his brain some sort of stimuli.

Now our based genius Donnie:

Despite popular belief, he is NOT a min-maxxing hyper-godsweat. In fact, he sucks. Really, really badly. He paid for every advantage in that one episode, you cannot fool me.

And the worst part is that he thinks he's incredible at every game he plays. And you thought Leo had an ego?

Honestly better at making games then playing them. His coding skills are off the charts, so he tends to make training games for himself that never work in the end because AI is AI, and not human.

Now for the girlboss April:

Is ACTUALLY the min-maxxing hyper-godsweat. Not only that, but she is f2p and rocks that shit.

No matter what game, if anyone beats her, she will go out of her way to learn said game and absolutely humiliate them. Mikey starts to crank 90's around her in fortnite or something? Give it a week, a few days if she's already familiar with the mechanics. April will annihilate him.

Is the one who always figures out on the dot that someone is cheating, and somehow, someway, finds a way to cheese them to death. It's honestly incredible.

Next, our boy Raphie:

Tends to... stay away from multiplayer games. At least competitive ones, minus Street Fighter, MK, Tekken, etc.

Raph just enjoys more single-player experiences, like God of War, or the Yakuza series. Hell, even Devil May Cry or Dark Souls. The guy is a single-player beast.

big hands, break controller

Finally, time for Primetime Leo:

Genuine hypebeast

He's kinda bad but makes up for it by being funny and having those few moments of being good at the game he's playing.

Grinds fortnite up until like one in the morning and passes out by two. He's gotta get the Peter Griffin skin, you don't understand. If he can't, it's like his life means nothing. Leads to a family intervention because the rest think it's trauma that's keeping him up or something.

[aardvark-123]

Here’s an excerpt from one of last month’s newspapers.

Four Dead and ¥500,000 Damage Sustained in Friendly Luncheon

MORIYA SHRINE, YOUKAI MOUNTAIN- At 13:20 on Saturday the fourth of September, a meeting between community leader Kanako Yasaka and local craftswoman Misumaru Tamatsukuri descended into violence when a swarm of hornets entered the garden. Yasaka confronted the hornets' leader, Wriggle Nightbug, and escorted her off the shrine grounds with considerable force, drawing the ire of several itinerant youkai.

The youkai included Sekibanki Atamata and Tokiko Jiyuta, alleged members of the Grassroots Youkai Network. They attacked the goddesses with various spell-cards, and in the case of Jiyuta combat boots, to limited effect. A party of human Incident-Resolvers and a small contingent of fairies were drawn into the affray and turned it into a mud fight, during which the unfortunate fatalities took place and the shrine's main building was completely destroyed.

Tamatsukuri described the arrival of the hornets as "sudden and, um, what's another word for sudden?". When asked how the fight had started, she responded that "Kanako [had] always been standoffish, but she didn't have to kick that little youkai so hard in the rump. I can kind of see why the Grassroots got involved. Then again, they didn't really hold back either, did they?"

The initial combat was described by Bunbunmaru reporter Aya Shameimaru as "the absolute coolest". Shameimaru, having foolishly had leftover curry for breakfast, was breaking wind with alarming frequency and could barely string together one coherent sentence. Yasaka and Jiyuta both claimed to have had the upper hand in the melee, although neither side was/were (FIX LATER) able to obtain a decisive advantage.

Shrine maiden Reimu Hakurei, magic specialist Marisa Kirisame, scholar Sumireko Usami and an unidentified fourth party entered the conflict after a stray bullet struck and displaced Kirisame's hat. According to Usagi, "[...] For all we knew, they were just looking for a fight, so we gave them one. W-wait, no, not like that! DON'T WRITE THAT DOWN! Augh..." When asked about her role in the kerfuffle, Marisa explained "That was fun!"

The Moriya Shrine garden had been left "a bit soggy" by the recent rainfall, a fact that became apparent to Hakurei when she was knocked face-down into a patch of mud. Shameimaru was insufferable about the practicality of geta in muddy conditions, as per usual. Hakurei was seen chucking handfuls of mud at friend and enemy alike, an accusation she has emphatically denied.

When one of Hakurei's mud projectiles struck a local fairy, it began the fourth and final act of the conflict. Along with sisters Luna, Sunny and Star, the fairy gathered handfuls of mud and entered the affray. "She was like 'I, Cirno, greatest of the fairies, hereby declare war on [snobbish] girls in red! Prepare for annihilation!' I mean, she must be terrible in Fortnite," Usami commented, referring to an electronic sport popular in the Outside World.

Cirno's death was caused when a human, unrecognisable while covered in mud, beheaded her. Believed to be either Sakuya Izayoi or Youmu Konpaku, the human severed the fairy's neck while attempting to flick some mud off her long dagger or shortsword. Cirno's younger sisters were killed in the ensuing landslide. When later interviewed, Luna declined to comment on the fight and focused instead on the pattern of the reporter's skirt.

Sanae Kochiya, shrine maiden at the Moriya Shrine, was asked about the landslide. "Oh, that was such bad luck! Lady Kanako swears it wasn't her fault, and of course I believe her, I just wish I'd been there! I could've done something, or... I don't know. I'm sure Lady Suwako had her reasons for snoozing through the whole thing. Sure she had her reasons." Kochiya was later seen going "absolutely ham" on her punching bag.

Repairs to the Moriya Shrine are expected to cost ¥500,000 and take up to thirty-six weeks. Tamatsukuri remarked to stuck-up [dog, feminine] Shameimaru that she hoped the repairs would go smoothly, because "I am never, in a million years, having [Yasaka] round to my place."

-HATATE HIMEKAIDOU, reporter and editor for Kakashi Spirit News

[fenmere]

We're already running Doom in our minds. Though, we, the Inmara, prefer Descent II. But, after that many hours of playing either game, of course they're each perfectly recreated (and modded) in our psyche. We're also simultaneously running tournaments of Total Annihilation, Minecraft, and Fortnite. We've got skin packs and mods for making any of these games resemble books we've read recently, as well as hybrid games like Fortnite/Go or Minecraft/Facebook.

And speedrunners are clipping through the walls.

if you think programmers and electrical engineers are weird now with putting Doom and Bad Apple on everything they can, just wait until we get brain-uploading tech.

There's a fun thing in computer science called Turing Equivalence which basically means "any computer can do what any other computer can do" (this is a great oversimplification), which means that once we have the ability to upload a human mind into a supercomputer the size of a building, it's only a matter of time before someone uploads themselves into a watch. a toaster. a pregnancy test. a billion crabs.

and yeah, they'll probably be running doom too, but in their mind.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #497

Top Ten PC Games No One Talks About Anymore

Blimey, Quake is rather good, isn’t it? Have you heard about it? I really hope so, because it’s only twenty-five years old. I mean, Jesus. What’s up with that? Quake is meant to be the future. It’s full of true-3D polygonal texture-mapping and real-time dynamic light-sourcing. Fancy it being a quarter of a century old. That’s ridiculous. “Old” is for things like, I dunno, Space Invaders or The Godfather or I Wanna Hold Your Hand. Stuff that our parents heard about before we were born. It’s not – it’s absolutely not – used to describe something that people bought 3D accelerator cards for. It’s not used to describe a game that popularised online gaming.

But old it is, getting silver anniversary cards and everything. No longer the angry, hungry young tiger, devouring its ancestors and growling at upstart rivals like Duke Nukem 3D – sure, you’ve got non-linear levels, interactive scenery, and toilet humour, but we’ve got grenades that bounce with real physics – Quake is now an aged beast of the forest, resplendent, battle-scarred, weary with gravitas. Quake is the game that shaped the now, but it does not represent the future anymore. In fact, arguably its greatest rival – Unreal – is the game with the lasting, living legacy, its progeny building the next generation of gaming with one of the most popular and impressive engines around, the framework underpinning everything from Gears to Jedi to Fortnite. Quake blew us all away, but arguably it ceded the conflict, secure in its status as one of the most important and influential games of all time. Quake II got plaudits for actually having a proper story and an engrossing single-player campaign (and coloured lighting!), and its immediate descendants such as Half-Life changed the nature of what FPS games could do, but in a funny way it feels like Quake has long since retired. A sleeping titan. It got old.

So it’s great that they rereleased it on modern systems! The version of Quake released last month is basically the game I remember, but tarted up a little around the edges, with texture filtering and dynamic shadows and other stuff that I couldn’t manage on my Pentium 75 back in the day. It plays great – it’s slick as anything, and you go tearing round the levels like a Ferrari with a nail gun, blasting dudes and ducking back around a corner before you get hit with a pineapple in the face. It’s the first game I’ve played in a long, long time that evokes the feel of classic PC first-person shooters of that era – which, y’know, kinda makes sense as it is a first-person shooter of that era. But that style of fast-paced run-and-gun, circle-strafing gameplay has gone out of fashion now, with FPS games usually favouring slow, methodical, tactical combat, or larger-scale open-world warfare usually involving vehicles. Whether it’s a straight-up no-frills blaster like Quake, or a game that takes you on more of a linear, narrative journey, like Quake II, or even just a multiplayer-focused arena shooter, like Quake III Arena, it does feel like a dying artform, like a style of gameplay that could do with a resurgence (and, to be fair, there are games on the horizon that look like they’re harking back to the era, so that’s cool).

But it’s not just first-person shooters like Quake that I feel have slipped from gaming’s shared consciousness. Maybe it’s my age (it’s definitely my age) but there seems to be quite a lot of games that were a big deal twenty or so years ago that are utterly forgotten now, whereas some – Doom, Duke Nukem, Command & Conquer, Age of Empires – are often namechecked or rebooted (even before the full-on 2016 reboot, Doom must have been one of the most re-released games of the last thirty years). But there are lots of others where sometimes I feel like I’m the only one that remembers it. And that’s where this list comes in: inspired by the excellent re-release of the Quake franchise, here are some other great PC games of that general era that I feel still need shouting about, even if I’m the only one doing the shouting. Maybe they don’t all need a full-on remaster or whatever, but it’d still be nice if they got a bit of modern gaming love.

No One Lives Forever (2000): coming at a time when most FPS games were still Doom-style blasters with little in the way of real plot, NOLF was different: stylish and funny, genuinely well-written (as in the dialogue), with interesting objective-based missions and a cool female protagonist. It skirted similar ground to Bond and the then-white-hot Austin Powers franchise. Two games were made and then, as far as I’m aware, it evaporated into a mess of tangled rights, hence no sequels or remakes. A shame, because it was great.

MDK (1997): the next game from the people who made the multimedia phenomenon that was Earthworm Jim, MDK was a really cool slice of sci-fi style, all sleek level design and intriguing features. It had a supremely bonkers plot which bled through into a game with a sense of humour, but mostly it was the run-and-gun gameplay and innovative use of a scoped weapon – possibly (don’t quote me on this) the first sniper rifle in a videogame. An even wackier sequel followed, but despite its cult status, that was it.

Star Trek: The Next Generation – Klingon Honor Guard (1998): it’s probably fair to say that Star Trek has not had as many great videogames as Star Wars, perhaps because Trek’s historically straightlaced earnestness just didn’t translate as well as bashing someone up the chops with a laser sword. Honor Guard shook things up by casting you as a Klingon, showering levels with pink blood and going Full Worf. It was the first game to licence the Unreal engine, and had a cool level where you walked along the outside of a ship like in First Contact. Also: shout out to the Voyager game, Elite Force (2000), which was another really good FPS set in the world of Trek, with intriguing gameplay wrinkles as you fought the Borg. It also let you wander round the titular starship between levels. Trek deserves more quality action games like these.

Earth 2150 (2000): the nineties on PC really saw RTS games come down to those who liked Command & Conquer or those who liked Warcraft, but as the decade drew to a close other titles chased the wargame crown (including Total Annihilation, which would have made this list, except I feel like the Supreme Commander franchise is a sequel in all but name). 2150 was notable for its Starcraft-like mix of three factions with contrasting play styles, and its use of 3D graphics and the ability to design and build weapons of war that could lay waste to armies and bases with spectacular results. I think the genre has ossified into something more hardcore, and this was probably an inflex point where idiots like me could still get a handle on things.

Midtown Madness (1999): Microsoft has a history of building up great racing franchises and then abandoning them, but their “Madness” line of games in the late nineties/early noughties was terrific and much-missed. Back when tooling round actual 3D cities was still new and exciting, this was a no-holds-barred arcade racer, with some gorgeous shiny chrome effects on the cars, and very nippy handling. It was great fun smashing up VW Beetles and the like. It was surpassed, I guess, by Project Gotham on the Xbox, and sadly the whole franchise was then forgotten, despite the ascendent Forza franchise mostly shunning city driving.

Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines (1998): part tactical war game, part puzzler, Commandos was famous for its gorgeously intricate graphics and its difficulty – I mean, it was way too hard for me. But its beautiful top-down design and its slow, methodical gameplay was compelling, as you evaded Nazis and solved missions with a team of unique units with special skills. Sequels followed, and western spin-off Desperados, but there’s not been a true follow-up for quite some time, despite promises; and few games have echoed its style or look.

The Pandora Directive (1996): okay, so really this is just a placeholder for an entire subgenre of game that appears to have been forgotten: interactive movies. I know, there are flirtations with this from time to time; and many of these games featured obtuse puzzles and relatively little gameplay strung between FMV scenes. Pandora was great though; a first-person 3D game with loads of old-school adventure aspects, as well as FMV, it was a noir-tinged detective story but set in the future. The Tex Murphy series (of which this was the fourth instalment) has had sequels – the most recent one was sadly cancelled only this year – but many other games of a similar ilk, such as Phantasmagoria and even Wing Commander – have fallen by the wayside. With in-engine graphics now allowing the fluidity and expression of cinematic renders of old, shooting movie inserts doesn’t seem like it’s worthwhile; but I still always loved a point-and-click game that featured digitised actors milling about. Toonstruck, anyone?

Marathon (1994): before Halo there was… Marathon! Back when I used to lug my Pentium round my mate’s house so we could play different games on different machines side-by-side, he’d bang on about this Mac-first series of games, like Doom but better, with an intricate plot and complex levels. And y’know what? He was actually onto something. There’s a style and an earnestness to the Marathon franchise, along with many concepts that would be refined in Halo years later. With Bungie now seemingly committed to Destiny, and Halo in Microsoft’s hands, I’m not sure what could possibly become of this, their forgotten FPS forebear, especially as it shares so much DNA with its offspring.  

Outlaws (1997): LucasArts are famous for two things, really: their Star Wars games and their adventures. But they made loads of other stuff too – including this intriguing Western shoot-em-up. Back when Western games were rarer than Western movies (which were rare at the time), this quirky and difficult cowboy-em-up saw you rounding up outlaws in typical oater locations such as saloons, trains, and mines. It had great music and a really intriguing set of weapons, including (don’t quote me on this) the first sniper rifle in a game. Sadly Outlaws’ success could be described as “cult” and it never got a proper sequel. and, weirdly, despite the success of Red Dead Redemption, we’ve never had a bit Western-themed FPS again. Which is really odd.

Soldier of Fortune (2000): I pondered whether to include this one, as if I’m honest I’m not sure I want this licence brought back. But I can’t deny the game was a huge deal and has seemingly been forgotten. A relatively gritty and realistic combat game with a huge variety of excellent real-world weaponry, its big hook was its incredibly detailed damage modelling, that could see you blowing limbs off enemies, or splitting open heads, or disembowelling them. Whilst its OTT violence made headlines, the granularity of its systems meant you could be more tactical, shooting weapons out of hands. But really its biggest controversy should be its association with a big old gun magazine.

There are many, many other games that nearly made the list - I almost had a Top Ten of just FPS games, for instance. Little Big Adventure was here, till a sequel was announced the other day. Hexen and Heretic I think still have a place in FPS history. Toonstruck, although without a sequel, was only really a cult hit at the time, and I feel the people who’d love it already know about it. I do tend to overthink these things, y’know.

So maybe not all of these could make a comeback, but all the same I don’t think they should be forgotten, and it does make we wonder what games will fall by the wayside twenty or more years from now. That game about the big green space marine dude in a mask – what was that called again…?

[pinkassasin]

what video games do you think tim drake plays?

Haaa okay this is my first ask so thanks anon!! The pressure is on thou. 

I don’t really play video games so excuse the really basic knowledge. Also this is a bit more Core Four based head canons than just Tim but i hope you enjoy anyways!!

On the occasion’s that they all have time but are in their respective cities and not in the Titans Tower they will all call on discord and play shit like CSGO and PUBG for the shits and giggles.

Literally just make jokes, troll people in game and not actually play.

(PUBG) They just drive around in cars for the whole game till its just them and a bunch of other players left and they obviously annihilate the other teams, winning after doing absolutely nothing for the whole game.

Imagine this, they’re playing CSGO or something, Kon’s the only one left, last round to determine the winners. Tim typing into a private chat with him Cassie and Bart “$20 that he rage quits” “Nah, he obviously will” “I’m not losing money on this Lmao” and soon enough there’s a *CRASH* “MOTHERFU-” *DOOR SLAM*. 10 mins later Kon’s back calmly sipping on some tea.

You know those things that you joke about so much that you end up doing/liking it unironically? Yeah. One word. Fortnite.

It really was just supposed to be a “Hey lets go troll some 12 year old’s this ONE TIME” but somehow became part of their usual “So what are we playing today guys?”

They still take is just as serious as CS and PUBG meaning they just fuck around making high ass ramps and try to jump on rockets, and yet they still somehow win in the end.

Tim would have headphones with cat ears on them, you cannot convince me otherwise. 

If the Arkham games were real in the DC universe you damn fucking bet that Tim would sweat them so hard till he completed each and everyone of them at 100%. Obviously doing all the side missions and finding all of Riddlers trophy's and such.

Obviously things would be really inaccurate and Batman's identity wouldn't be known so Tim would be losing his mind over having to play Batman as a guy called Stephan who’s an accountant.

The inaccurate and hilarious representations of the Rouges and and his Bat siblings is what makes the hours of game play and rage quits worth it in the end.

Tim seems like a Legend of Zelda type of guy, and no i will not elaborate. (cause I've never played it eheh)

Bart holds the Titans (and world) record for a Sonic game and even after all these years everyone still tries to over take him. Which they ultimately fail at, even Tim with his Batskills and Kon with his super speed too, but we don’t speak of that.

When they’re in the Tower they obviously have many media rooms for down time and hanging out. These rooms and everything in them is mostly sponsored by Batman inc. which means many many consoles and games.

They have regular Mario Cart tournaments, which yes they do keep a score board of (Tim is the winner so far, although there was a time where Cassie overtook him for a week or two by constantly using the ‘elbow in the ribs right before the finish line’ move)

Tim is Princess Peach, Bart is Toad, Cassie is Baby Luigi and Kon is Yoshi. They NEVER change and characters and godspeed to anyone who joins the game and uses one of their respective characters, cause there will be hell to pay until you give it back. Nobody messes with Tim’s Princess Peach. 

So yeah that’s all i have but i hope you liked it!!

[zamgoods]

Anastasia’s Fortnite Revenge is Science or Magic: Rasputin’s Curse of Clade on the Romanov Family Line

Wednesday December 15th  12.15  15.12 2021 349th day of the year in the Gregorian calendar; 16 days remain (10 day Christmas count down)  Waxing Gibbous Moon Illumination: 88% Shadow: 12%

Anastasia the 1997 animated film is an enchanting film with a spell bounding soundtrack including the one in a million Aaliyah singing the radio version of the theme song, Journey to the Past, nominated for an Oscar.

At 8 years old, Anastasia survived the FORTNITE curse and came back 10 years later with a V for Vendetta.   Anastasia rose to the occasion to break the curse by amazing feats and death-defying courage.  Taking a play from her book is worthwhile in this day and time.  Perhaps her survival was a medical miracle.  I’ll explain why.

Let’s decode this treasure and take a trip back to 1916 when Rasputin cursed  the royal Romanov family and see how it may be the playbook for the genetic annihilation one member at a time.  Was it Magic or Science in his vile relic.  Remember RasPUTIN-IK was the royal MEDICINE man.  And his live EVIL VILE of desolation leaves a stark environment with no living souls with name Romanov.

Cursing a family line is a bit harsh, but his hatred is so extreme to the extent that he sold his soul for the power to destroy the Romanovs forever with his vile of bat like demon minions. Ras-putin and his white Bat side-kick, Bartok, take down the 300 year rulership of the House of Romanov in a fortnight, by instigating royal assassinations of children, women, elderly in 14 days.  But... one heiress got away.  And she will rise again.  ANASTASIA  

A Time decode for Fortnight is 2 seven day weeks, Half of a lunar month.  From new moon to full moon or vice versa. Do you recall Dr. Fauci, White House Medicine man, advising inhabitants to Quarantine ourselves when they shutdown The United States of AMerica.  “Give us 2 weeks, 14 days, Fortnight, to  flatten the curve,” said the little man.

The curse Rasputin pronounced on the Tsar Romanov seemed standard. But he

was stuck in limbo for 10 years and didn’t know why.  One day Anastasia, who had AMNESIA was back in the Winter Palace surreptitiously and hell broke out.  The Bat, Bartok who had kept the relic vile of doom with a lit candle beside it witnessed the activation and began yelling, MAY DAY as the cursed artifact swoons down to hell to reunite with his buddy in Limbo. but if you look closely at the attached video you see something medically significant.  

As you can see the vile is on a journey through the body going deep into a cell where Rasputin is in limbo.  The orb he is in all alone, sheltered in place.  He even demands to know who is disturbing his solitude. The layers of fluid he travels to appears to start in bone to the circulatory system then crosses a lipid fatty wall which appears to by lymph then through the cell wall.  

This wall is important because Anastasia escapes the curse because she is ushered into a hidden wall in her room by Demitri.  She makes it out of the Palace and onto some ice where Rasputin plunges in.  

The vaccine has to be in ice to keep from spoiling.  Breaking the ice and breaking the glass is related to Anastasia’s foot and sole.  Kind of like how Jacob grabbed Esau’s foot in the womb in the Biblical story and later took his birth rite/ inheritance.  Perhaps it has something to do with genetics.  A swap.  Which brings us to the Genetics markers like the PCR where genetic code is cut out of the DNA and a new code is replaced using CRISPR and other techniques.  

This is the curse of Ras-Putin in a way. HIs vile is a syringe containing viral venom which is why there is a snake on his vile.  The fangs are the needles, shots with the poison materials such as HIV, Corona, Rabbies and more. He crosses the Cell walls and encodes Frankenstein RNA via Viral and Bacterial carriers to change human DNA as stated on the vaccine makers labels.  They mark and target certain chromosomes and strands of DNA.  There is also a skull on the top where a sword is plunged into the coronal plane of the coronal suture of the cranium.  The sword looks like the plunger of the syringe of a needle.

Jabbing the sword straight down the skull like that would definitely hit the Pineal gland in the center and meet with the brain stem on into the spinal cord down the neck.  Cerebral cortex map for foot sensory will also be passed in this case.

The Markers is like the Mark of the Beast symbolism.  The 666 mark which looks like XES in Greek Bible.  Sex reversed xes.  Hex=  6, like hexagon.  This is the Beast put into the venom.  There are patents for the vaccine which show that Luciferase is contained.  It makes it glow or shine like a firefly.  Lightning bug.*

In the 2021 movie LUCA by Pixar/Disney, there is a scene where the Dad asks him “What happened to your foot?”  It stands out just like Anastasia’s sole or foot is positioned strangely when she is around RasPutin.  In the movie Coco his family makes shoes instead of listening and playing MUSIC.  I wonder if this is key to getting the remedy to the illness or not getting jabbed.  Putting your foot down and stomping on the Evil Vile.

More science info relating to the movie is that there was a candle hanging out with Bartok and Evil Vile.  The candle may seem inconsequential to you at first until you stop and blur your eyes a little bit.  Do you see it.?  Candling is a vaccine procedure done to grow the live microorganisms in eggs that later get injected into people.

I hope this shows us that a cure to a curse is how we handle it.  Put your foot down and say go to hell Rasputin.  But in actuality Rasputin was a medicine man that helped the Romanov family with their son Alexie who had blood issues.

We can’t leave without mentioning that this movie is about geopolitical power and control. The setting takes place at the changing of rulership in Russia.  Around World War I when the Bolsheviks took over the Empire and turned to a brutal Communist Regime.  The surviving Aristocracy fled and in the case of Anastasia’s Grandma, went to Paris, France.  

 The Cold War ensued after World War 2 and USA was not in good diplomatic standing.  There was competition on many levels such as military and technology.  Russia made the first satellite and called is Sputnik.  And in modern Times they made the first Corona Vaccine and called it Sputnik V.  NOtice Sputnik has Putin in it like Ras Putin .  So I wonder if this vaccine was foretold in the MOvie as RasPutin’s Reliquary.  

I also wonder if Natasha Romanov from Marvel Avengers is a lingering member of the Romanov Family line somehow.  It will end with her sister because the Red Room girls were sterilized.  but who knows maybe even that could be reversed with SCIENCE!!!

References 

https://www.globalhealthnow.org/2019-10/flu-season-in-n-america-5-facts

Rasputin’s Curse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtNVrzNFEYs

Rasputin’s Curse broken and Death https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSxW_OAcvZg 

Aastasia escapes through hidden door in wall https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCpOqKQ2qgA&t=118s

Remember Lucifer fell like lightning according to the Bible verse. "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven" ( Luke 10:17–18 ). In saying this, Jesus was likely referencing Isaiah 14:12, which says: "How you are fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How you are cut down to the ground, you who weakened the nations!" (NKJV).

[ggmanreviews]

GGMan's Weekly Video Game Recommendation #5

I play a lot of games. Some, everyone has played. Others, not so much.

I'll be listing one game per week, that I have played and believe it deserves more attention. If you have already played it, then that's great! If you haven't, then you might as well. The bigger the game, the longer the review due to the amount of content.

Name: Company of Heroes Genre: Real-Time Strategy Developer: Relic Entertainment Publisher: THQ (Sega from 2013 till present) Engine: Essense Engine Length: Over 100 Hours Singleplayer? Yes. Multiplayer? Yes. Release Date: September 12th, 2006 Platforms: PC

Reviews: Steam 9/10, GameSpot 9/10, Metacritic 93%, IGN 9.4/10

Now, where do I start? Company of Heroes shall forever be one of my all-time favourite games. It's not the oldest one I've played, but it was the very first one that introduced me to, back then, the rising industry of video games. You might recognize the franchise by its sequel that came out in 2013, which was also the last of the franchise as Relic was bought by SEGA, later that year, & THQ (not to be confused with THQ Nordic) filled for bankruptcy in 2012. Company of Heroes had managed to redefine the staple of real-time strategy games as it won numerous awards including two game-of-the-year titles from IGN & GameSpy.

The game takes place within the European Theatre of World War 2, as it covers not just individuals but, companies from specific armies and they're efforts throughout the Invasion of Normandy. From the heroic landings of Omaha Beach to the famous encirclement of the retreating German 7th Army within the Falaise Pocket, you control Able Company as a detachment of the U.S. 506th Infantry Regiment and basically re-live their experiences amongst some of the most pivotal battles of the war.

However, if American campaigns do not interest you, then you may be entertained by their standalone DLC's. Company of Heroes: Opposing Fronts allows you to take control of the British 2nd Army in their conquest for Caen, and the German Panzer Lehr Divison with their perspective during Operation: Market Garden. Company of Heroes: Tales of Valor does not follow after its predecessors with specific campaigns throughout the war, but instead, it allows you to re-live three episodes, from the war, depicting individual soldiers or groups at their finest hour; Tiger Ace SS-Hauptsturmführer Michael Wittman, the 82nd Airborne Division, & a unit of Waffen SS-Panzergrenadiers.

If you're a history fanatic, like me, then the premise of the game's story alone would already have you keen to try the game out for yourself. However, if you're not really a fan of World War 2 based video games, then maybe the gameplay would manage to catch your attention. Unlike your old-school strategy games such as Starcraft, Warcraft, & Age of Empires, Company of Heroes introduces the mechanics of, for example, economic gathering, sectorial management, dynamic cover, command powers, destructible environments, real-time physics (get that Fortnite sh*t outta here) and I could go on. Combat wise, you control one of four different armies, two from the allies & and two from the axis, which deploy squads of soldiers or individual tanks each with their own pros and cons. You use a combination of the multiple varieties of units available to you in whatever method of attack or defence that you want to do.  

Do you want to charge over 70 units of US riflemen, armed with the BAR & sticky bombs against a division of German panthers? Of course, you can! Do you want to launch a rocket at a single British officer running for his life? Go ahead! This game lays down the groundwork through historical maps, battles, events, and basically hands over an immeasurable amount of freedom to choose how YOU want to play.

If you have completed the campaign without much of a challenge, then you may dive into the multiplayer as you, obviously, battle other players live to each their own choice of playstyle, and even against the game's computer-based AI which, depending on the chosen difficulty, it could either be a walk in the park or your complete and utter annihilation.

Graphics & Immersion? Who cares! As a game from 2006, using a (now) dead engine, this game takes the cake when it comes to the bare bones of the pixel by pixel details. For a real-time strategy game, you have realistic looking weapons, uniforms, tanks, maps, explosions, faces, voice acting ("EAGLES! SCREAMING ON JERRY!"), destructive action, rockets, more explosions, tiger tanks, cartoonish animations, physics, fires, airstrikes, buildings, and did I mention explosions?

In my honest opinion, Company of Heroes isn't just a game that deserves more attention because let's face it, the attention is already there from way back in 2006. This game is a must-play for any RTS fanatic out there.

System Req (Minimum) OS: Windows XP / Windows Vista Processor: 2.0 GHz Intel Pentium IV / AMD Athlon XP Memory: 512MB Graphics: NVIDIA GeForce 3 Series / ATI Radeon 9500 Sound: DirectX 9.0 Storage: 9GB (Steam says 1GB for some reason)

System Req (Recommended) OS: Windows XP / Windows Vista / Windows 7-8 (10 has some initial compatibility issues from my experience) Processor: 3.0 GHz Intel Pentium IV Memory: 1GB Graphics: NVIDIA GeForce 6800 Sound: DirectX 9.0 Storage: 9GB (Steam leaves this blank for some reason)

Side Note: On Steam, there's the normal version & the legacy version, which are given to you upon purchase. The legacy version is the most updated version of the game by Relic Entertainment but, access to multiplayer is extremely troublesome as it's not supported by Steam servers. Play the non-legacy version for little to no issues.

Price (USD): $16.18 (Main Game + Legacy Edition), $29.43 (Main Game + Legacy Edition + Both DLC's) [PC] Disclaimer: this is a direct conversion of my local currency via Steam because Google is being dumb. In my opinion, it's worth the full price.

[rynhaswritersblock]

tiktok famous (hc) - part four | p.p.

summary: episode four of tiktoks with y/n and peter ayooooo

warnings: cussing. what's new LOL

+ + +

- BACK AGAIN

- these are the imagines that i can pretty much just pump out because the plot line is like already layed out for me

- in conclusion i like writing these lol

- okay SO

THESE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE IDEAS::: spideybparker starbabez mrose12623 elliedevotee lilcassipuff buckybigbutt

THANK U! <3

^^ if you've changed your username i'm so sorry whenever i get requests i write down the username and it's lowkey difficult to track who is who and if they've changed it ahhhhh

- aight

- lets get into it

- yuhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- i'm gonna be saying yuh get into it so much in this imagine i apologize in advance

- like it's kinda bad

- oops

- so y'all know those audios that are like the fake calls

- it's like that man's voice he's like "hey whassup shorty your man around?"

- THAT ONE

- so naturally

- y'all know where this is going

- you and pete are just chilling (this is how all of them start. i feel like a broken record. help)

- you're like FUCK IT LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS

- you start recording

hey whassup shorty

- peter goes into FIGHT OR FLIGHT MODE

- he's just playing video games (fortnite aye) but the  S E C O N D  HE HEARS THAT RANDOM MAN'S VOICE

- fuckin RIPS OFF THE HEADSET

- EYEBROWS FURROWED AS HE LOOKS AT YOU HE'S LIKE

- huh wHAT NOW

- ????!!!!!!!!!!

- you fail at keeping a straight face cause the fucking AUDIO

your man around?

- a wheeze FLIES out of you mouth as peter SHOOTS UP FROM HIS CHAIR

- big "FUCK NO!" energy

- mans practically jumps on top of you

- he's like angry and confused at first but then he sees how hard you're laughing and just gets even more confused

"what was that?"

- his voice is all high cause it does that in tense situations

- puppy face is loud n clear!

- babey

- meanwhile you can't catch your breath for SHIT

- so you show him the video as you continue to literally die

- as soon as he realizes he just melts

- he's like laying on top of you and buries his face in the crook of your neck before bursting out into laughter and holding you tighter

"you can't do that!"

- god me thinking about that happening irl is giving me BUTTERFLIES

- sexc

- okay this one is another fake phone call

- just gonna jump into it it's pretty much the same situation

- in this one you two are over 18 btw

- for ~legal reasons~

- the audio starts playing with the ringtone and peter just glances over

- he's too busy watching b99

- naturally

hey this is dr. alvarez! we received your pregnancy test results

- WHAT

- peter has never jumped so hard in his LIFE

- tv is PAUSED even captain holt has the shocked expression (who am i kidding it's holt his facial expression is as dead as a brick)

- 🅱eter literally yells

"WHAT"

- audio keeps going

is there a time next week you could come in and talk?

"y/n what"

- he runs over to you and you bust out laughing as he looks at your phone and realizes it's a tiktok

- an annoyed smile pulls at his lips and he groans and wraps his arms around you

"you had me there for a second"

- let's just say peter parker had family on his mind a LOT more since then

- wink wink

- k SO

- queso

- haha

- anyways

- y'all know that one sound

pussy so good i could save that shit for later

- welcome to straight tiktok!

- so y'all just chillin on his bed as best friends do

- on ur phones and shit

- and peter parker is a basic bitch so he has the led lights

- which i want SO BAD btw ugh my room would be such a vibe

- update i'm editing this and i just ordered some ayooooo

- anyways they're currently blue so like

- innocent

- chill

- but THEN

- the audio starts playing from peter's phone

pussy so good-

- you gAsp as the lights turn red

- ur like

- holy shit i didn't know parker could do that

- next thing you know peter's hand is on your chin/jaw (just about ur neck OOPS)

- his mouth is practically ON your ear

- you see him holding his arm out in front of you recording and you can't help but laugh

- but DAMN

his jawline is out and everything and he's fucking SMIRKINGGGG as he whispers the lyrics into your ear

- BUTTAFLIESSSSSSSSSSSSS

- big mattia vibes (btw that man is NOT attractive i'm sorry)

- moving on

- i know i've written one of the ones where you kiss your best friend

- but time to turn the tables

- oh how the turn tables

- time for y/n to be a bad bitch cause WE MAKING THE FIRST MOVE!!

- hell yea!

- so it's late right

- like late late

- at least midnight (sleep schedule is MESSED from quarantine though so honestly late rn is like 2 or 3 in the morning yikes)

- and ur hella bored

- on tiktok

- the fuck else do you expect?

- and you start doing the thing where you start thinking about getting up and doing something and you think about it so much that you physically can NOT sit there any longer and must Move or Die

- i KNOW i am not the only one

- so that happens

- and you're like FUCK IT

- so you walk out of your room and into peter's next door

- oh to live at avengers headquarters and live next to peter parker

- you just fucking stroll in

- peter's fat ass just goes "hey thanks for knocking"

- meanwhile you can't even stand to look at him because you're afraid that if you do all of your confidence will VANISH

- so you set up the camera and start recording

- at this point peter's sitting up and just watching you cause he's so confused

- and

- (HERE WE GO)

- it takes everything in you not to RUN OUT

- but you walk over to him

- wrap a hand around his neck

- tilt your head and lean down

- when peter realizes what's going on he's like OH MY GOD

- fight or flight response HITS except its JUST FLIGHT

- HIS BODY CHOSE FLIGHT

- he fucking REELS back

- can't even process that his best friend and crush since EVER just tried to kiss him

- sdfjksdkfjsdfg

- DKJFNHSKDFNSLA

- you're like fuck! so you turn to start  r u n n i n g   a w a y

- but then his hands wrap around your waist

- you FLY backwards and laugh as the two of you flop into the bed

- and he kisses you

- mwah ha ha haaaaaa

- don't ask why the evil laugh just accept it

- i am tired yes it is only 8:43pm i am still tired

- NEXTTTTTTT

- so y'all know those povs where it's like you find out your soulmate's first words on your bday

- well

- ha

- you and peter are bored because ~ q u a r a n t i n e ~

- chilling at headquarters

- bored in da house and i'm in da house bored

- and peter's like "imma make a pov!"

- okay!

- so i'm just gonna lay it out for you HERE WE GO

- he has the generic countdown thing (text boxes saying 3...2..1! you know the deal) and then he looks at his wrist and it says "hey spider-boy!" and he gets so flustered - next clip it's him running into "you" (obviously you're not actually in it but he does the text box thingy) - you're asking about what it says and try to get a peek but he pulls away - next clip it's right before your bday - and then you find out your quote and it says "it's spider-MAN! cause i'm a man!" - and peter is just looking anxiously/happily at the camera

- PERIOD

- i hope that was a good visual idk i tried

- and uhhhh yeah that one stays in the drafts bc he doesn't wanna expose himself

- moving right along by the way it's raining rn and i'm listening to my kind of woman by mac demarco and UGH this song makes me so...... jkdfhsdk

- OKAY THIS IS ANOTHER STRAIGHT TIKTOK ONE

- but it's cute so

- fuck it

- y'all know it

i wanna put you in seven positions for seventy minutes babe

- mischievous as ✨hell✨

- oh my god i got another idea okay i'm writing that after this one

- anyways!

- you and peter are chilling

- note: i yell at myself every time i write that because the AMOUNT OF THESE THAT START THIS WAY GOD

- he's watching netflix or something idk

- fyi outer banks is overrated sorry not sorry

- yell at me if u want but

- it's riverdale for vsco girls

- you set up the camera and start recording

- audio starts playing and you climb into his lap and he's like WOAH

- you like put your hands on his cheeks/jaws lol and you start mouthing the lyrics

- but the THING IS (pt 1)

- homeboy catches on pretty quick

- and

- fuck

- he starts MOUTHING THE LYRICS BACK

- you deadass have to take a second and reel back to catch your breathe

- but the THING IS (pt 2)

- HE'S GOTTEN ALL INTO IT

- SO HE PULLS YOU BACK IN

- UR FUCKIN FOREHEADS ARE TOUCHING AND YOU BOTH JUST START REALLY AGGRESSIVELY MOUTHING THE LYRICS

- kinda hot doe

- something for u to think about at night

:)

- hey bitch this is a reminder to write about the fairy comments

- thanks past me

- SO

- hmm lemme think

- okay

- so

- okay yes

- so peter-man posts a tiktok of him doing flips n stuff

- like very generic white boy look at me doing things

- and it's very impressive

- but

- you decide to just GO AT IT IN THE COMMENTS

- LIKE TOTALLY ANNIHILATE HIM

- i'm just gonna write some examples

- fuck me for writing this on a computer finding all these emojis on here is very difficult

- oh well

- here we go:

- oh my god a squirrel just climbed up the tree in my front yard and it caught me so off guard my heart skipped a beat

- wait okay irrelevant

- for real this time here we go:

you ate that 💕🧚‍♀️⚡🌟next time make it me instead 💖🧚‍♀️✨ omg peter you came on my fyp 🧚‍♀️💖✨but make it on me next 🧚‍♀️💕✨🦋 a necklace 💕✨🧚‍♀️⚡but make it your hands ✨💖🦋😌

- and so on

- lets just say when peter saw those

- his face got SO RED

- TOOK HIM AT LEAST TEN MINUTES TO COMPOSE HIMSELF

- AND THEN HE RAN INTO YOUR ROOM

"y/n what is this"

"uh fairy comments"

"but they're so-"

- you just stare at him and like

- shrug

- but knowingly

- HAHA OKAY NEXT ONE

- okay i took a break to go sit in the rain and eat hawaiian rolls 10/10 experience def go do that next time it rains

- i think i wrote one like this but with the supalonely dance

- so this time

- we doing the savage dance

- first of all that song is a BANGER

- second, the dance is SO FUN

- so it's the same thing as last time

- you set up the camera but have it face peter instead of u sneaky sneaky

- and then u start doing the dance of course

- and obv peter is like yuhhhhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- clapping along and smiling and whooping

- supportive bby

- but THEN

- YOU THROW IT BACK

- HOMEBOY DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING

- HALF OF HIM IS LIKE OH FUCK I SHOULD'VE STOPPED HER

- OTHER HALF IS SAYING holy shit !

- once you finish you look at peter and he's just like 👁👄👁

- lol

- anyways

- you watch that video MULTIPLE TIMES afterwards

- okay in this one you and pete are 18+ because

- we like being legal 😌✋

- but it's one of those where you walk out in front of your boyfriend naked

- so peter just got home from patrol and climbs in through the window of y'alls shared apartment

- oh to live in an nyc apartment with peter parker UGH

"y/n? i'm home babe"

- the camera is shaking because you're laughing so hard and kinda nervy

- but you walk out of y'alls room and peter just turns to you

- nearly drops his fucking mask

- he's shocked for a second before he gets such a big smile on his face and throws you over his shoulder

- hehe

- okay last one i love this one sm this tiktok came up on my fyp and i immediately though THIS IS Y/N AND PETER

here it be::

https://www.tiktok.com/@wizqueifa_/video/6826567570116611333

god i hope that works and y'all can watch it lmk if u can't like if the link doesn't work or anything

- okay basically it's that tiktok but u and peter

- like that video EXACTLY everything about it is perfect

- that's it lol

- and i recommend watching her other tiktoks with her boyfriend bc their relationship is adorable and it's totally y/n and peter

- okay i think (hope to god) i've written all the ones that y'all requested

- i think i might only do just one more part of these???? idk i feel like if i just keep going on with them (cause obv trends keep coming) half this book would just be the tiktoks lol

- ANYWAYS

- peace out homies i love each and every one of you

- be kind to urself and try to be productive

- i'm gonna go try and write some more so

- yes

- MWAH <3

+ + +

hi i hope you guys are doing well

ily

[glitchcraftanimation]

Enter the Augmented Reality Sim Environment (A.R.S.E.) Gamer Comedy Elika

You've entered the Dragon, the Wu-Tang and the Matrix... time to enter the Augmented Reality Simulation Environment (A.R.S.E) ! Wactivision just leaked their brand-new hardcore hardware - games will never be the same. It's all about that A.R.S.E.! Fully immersive 16 x 16 squillion K wraparound sphere with interactive hard-light holographics creates a terrifyingly realistic hellscape from the classic DEVIL'S PLAYTHING series, right down to the sweaty, bloodthirsty faces of the pissed-off demons.

Watch Here: https://youtu.be/uPEvxwfnhw0?si=P6y-2t6ppkYya7r9 

Featuring:  Michael Winslow

Music: Cris Velasco

For more gamer comedy:

+ Full audio credits available on website - some sound effects used under Creative Commons.

GLITCHCRAFT is a mature animated comedy series about gamers and gaming companies. Explores our hyped/ disappointed relationship with technology, like funny trailers that fail to deliver.

Through animated shorts and game spoofs, GlitchCraft mocks the worldwide gaming industry's greed and bloat. Moreover, these funny animation shorts (like funny Minecraft videos) show love for the artistry, the fans, and the hardworking gaming developers.

ELIKA is an Asian-American woman on the wrong side of her 30s. Her dream is to create awesome original video games. She experienced limited early success with "Kitty Candy Crack," an addictive mobile game. Elika is a new voice in gaming, an art form looking for fresh perspectives. She offers a unique and humorous outlook, injecting laughter into her video game parodies. She's flawed and human, not an impeccable "role model."

WACTIVISION (nothing like ACTIVISION - never even heard of 'em) is the nearly-ultimate behemoth of AAA gaming. They seek to annihilate all competitors - the corporate equivalent of winning a Victory Crown in Fortnite Battle Royale. They own all the top games, yet seem to have no idea why...

Wac takes pride in embodying the absolute worst practices of the industry, boastful in their contempt for fans, employees, and humanity as a whole (by coincidence, the company is 90% artificial intelligence). They're the masterminds behind the legendary "Devil's Plaything" franchise, which remains innovative and impactful, even in its 37th iteration.

GlitchCraft is animated and brought to life by best buds, united by their shared passion for games, comedy and cartoons. One is a storyboard artist for "The Simpsons" for close to 200 episodes.