#which his brother in law or whatever thinks is frankly shit

[pigeons-with-jello]

Love the silt verses bc they rlly got brand mascots as deities and ppl are really out here devoting themselves to it

[invisiblegarters]

Micro (or not) BL Reviews

It's that time again. Seeing as how a couple of things have ended recently and I let my obsession with a certain drama sort of take over everything else of late, I dedicated this week to catching up on all the things I've been missing and doing a quick round up (or not so quick, as it's me).

So let's get started, shall we?

Recently Completed

Stay By My Side - Oh Taiwan. I just love you. I think we had like eighteen "fall into you" moments in the first three episodes alone. The premise was fun - it reminded me a lot of Master's Sun, but the execution of course is totally different. The leads were cute. The chemistry was chemistrying. I loved the sister and that basketball boys. It was mostly fluff, which I am not complaining about because I love me some fluff. That said, I don't think it did anything particularly revolutionary and it never really did manage to grab me.  7.5/10

Wedding Plan - A MAME offering, but…not bad? I mean, not great either, although I will put up with a lot for the premise because I eat shit like that up, but I've seen way worse from MAME. However, it's not going to become a guilty pleasure show like LITA or an unexpected comfort show despite myself (at least the AePete parts) like Love by Chance. It was fine.

Things I really did like:  Nuea's family and his workmates (I loved how fiercely both sets of people stood by and supported him through everything from his huge mistake in sleeping with the groom to running back home to deal with it to basically adopting Lom into the group when they worked it out ("we have a new brother in law"). The lesbians - I could have used a bit more heat but I'll take it for now. Let's work on normalizing GL in our BL (frankly I'd love it if we started doing more of that and less of the token straight couple or three)! Was a little annoyed by how they had to fix everything but I won't pretend that the bits with them in episode 6 didn't get to me - I may have teared up a little when Marine was being treated so horribly by Yiwa's mother - that whole thing was so upsetting on a number of levels. And I was happy for them that they could afford to run away to their own happy ending. Also the gag of Lom pretending to be devastated when he was anything but was kinda funny, I will give the show that. And I did like the way that Lom's mom came around - realizing with time that losing her son the same way Yiwa's mother lost her could be a very real result if she kept being rigid. I also liked that she didn't just suddenly become a PFLAG member (or whatever the equivalent would be here) but simply told her son that she would work on it, because that felt more realistic.

The show also got me with how fucking lonely it must have been for both Lom and Yiwa, to know that they were gay and that they could never say anything, and how overwhelming and relieving it must have been to find someone who understood in each other. No fucking wonder they'd do anything for each other. I would have too, if I'd had someone like that growing up.

So yeah. It was fine. I mostly had a good time, even if I got a little bored once or twice. Frankly when it comes to MAME, being a little bored is preferable to feeling like the top of my head is about to come off because I'm so annoyed. Final verdict 7/10

Jun & Jun - Korea keeps making office BLs and I will continue watching them until the end of time. Especially if they keep on serving good kiss while they do it. And this one had bonus scent kink! I honestly don't know what's gotten into Korea lately but I am very much here for it.

This was a fun little office BL.  I liked how flirty it was from the get go, the way that both Juns danced around each other with the full knowledge that they were flirting. The intern group was fun, too. I really enjoyed the boyfriend episode at the end.

Everyone was very cute in this, but Simeon was my utter favorite. He totally stole the show for me. Him and Young. Young especially was a surprise, since she drove me bonkers when she first showed up. But she grew on me. I liked how fast she decided to embrace Lee Jun, and her and Choi Jun's friendship was cute.

I shipped Simeon and Hyung Hyun Jae too. Hard.

All in all this was cute, even if it didn’t manage to grip me as hard as I hoped. Like I said before, I'm not sure what's gotten into Korea lately but I hope it continues. 8/10.

Laws of Attraction - When I first saw the trailer for this, I decided to skip it. The leads were attractive enough but to be honest it seemed kinda poorly made and like it didn't know what it was going to do with itself. And I was feeling surly and judgmental and decided that it just wasn't for me. Also it was on iQIYI and I had no interest in signing up for another subscription.

But then I saw someone had stuck it on youtube and I was bored one Saturday an there were a few eps already out, so I thought, eh, why not?

And I've not regretted it for a moment.  I loved this show so much my god. Even when OF started (and you all know how much I obsess about OF) this was still the thing I looked forward to most on Saturdays. I adored Charn and his shark smile from moment one, and that adoration did not cease throughout the entirety of the show's run. His character development was by far the best on the show, and I loved the slow, stumbling way he regained the person he used to be, while still keeping the ruthlessness of the man he allowed anger and bitterness to let him become (up to a point). I loved that the show began and ended with his shark smile, but for very different reasons. And he and Tinn were adorable.

I appreciated them banging the marriage equality drum, too, and especially Charn's very pragmatic reasons for wanting it to be legal (as a lawyer, he would think like that, and I appreciate that the show kept him in character even when he was sappy). I also loved his wedding jacket I want four.

I also loved Tinn, and I have to give credit to Jam for the way he portrayed him. While Film totally ate as Charn I do think that in some ways a character like Tinn is harder to portray, because it would be very very easy for him to become preachy because of his morality and rigid sense of justice. But Jam played him with enough nuance that he never slid into that for me - he was willing to occasionally be at least slightly underhanded when the situation called for it, and while he expected Charn to be better (and read him to filth when he caught him out lying to and manipulating him), he thankfully also seemed to understand the fine art of compromise. Plus he's really pretty. Both of them are really pretty.

But the thing that I never expected was just how hard I turned around on Thaenthai. He drove me absolutely bonkers for the first few eps, and I was loudly annoyed by the fact that after about ep three (if not sooner), it became clear that he was not the one who had hit Tonkhao but that he was being made to take the blame. It felt to me like the show wanted me to excuse how vile he was (acting like Tonkhao's death was nothing, beating the crap out of Tinn when he was already tied up and helpless, just generally acting like a spoiled, entitled, horrible shitstain of a human being) because his father beat him. And while that was horrifying and I wanted him to get the hell out of there as soon as possible I still felt that a worm is a worm is a worm, even if the worm's father happens to be worse.

But then the show went and did something I did not expect it to do: it didn't just tell us that Thaenthai was lashing out because he was caught in a desperate limbo of wanting to run away from his and wanting to please him, but it went and did the work to show it. I started turning around on him after he found out about the gardener his father used as a scapegoat once things started getting heated, because we finally got to catch him before he had time to put on his mask. And it just kept coming, because now we knew what to look for. He's still an ass for beating the shit out of Tinn when he was tied up though, lol.

Another thing I really loved that this sow did with him was show him loving his dad in spite of everything. This man beat him, nearly drowned him, let him take the blame for a murder he did, tried to kill the only person Thaenthai felt was really on his side (because I do think that the intent was always to kill Thee - I'm just not entirely sure why it didn't happen as soon as Thaenthai got on that plane. I guess because we needed a happier ending. I am not complaining), and told him to his face that he could never love him because he killed his mother, and yet Thaenthai still loved him, still wanted his attention and his respect and his love in return. And it just rang very painfully true to me. You don't stop loving your parents because they're shit, and humans for some reason tend to be wired to try harder for love that is hard to receive (or impossible, in this case).  It did not surprise me that Thaentha tried to visit his father in prison, or that he was sad when he died. But neither did it surprise me that something in him seemed looser in those scenes as well, because even though he loved his dad there's a part of him that's glad he's gone.

I love stuff like this, because it's so complicated and realistic and it hurts in a way that only something that resonates with reality can. I ate it up.

Shout out as well to Not Vorarit, because he really did a good job with Thatthep. The way he slowly unraveled as the show went on was pitch perfect, every little nuance from his first intro as the shady but possibly not *that* shady "concerned" parent right up until that last scene with Charn where he's just a cackling monster. Kudos, you created an excellently detestable character. Watching him get his comeuppance was certainly a highlight of the show for me.

I was also really into the way that Tonkhao was very much a main character despite the fact that she died so early. One of the best strengths of this show was the way that it never let us forget what started this whole thing, it showed Tinn and Grandma grieving for their little girl, talking about her, missing her. Being reminded of her around every corner. They kept her in the forefront of our minds exactly the way that they should have, and I was delighted by it.

Other fun notables are himbo ex Nawin and Rose and Maya, our GL couple that I wish had gotten a little more screen time *as* a couple but either way were fabulous. I will love this show forever for introducing Nawin in the final hour and making him such a great combination of ridiculous and ruthless. And the way they let him breathe as a character - they really just stood back and were like "look at this ridiculous man stealing the show" and it was amazing. And Rose was just - she was such a good friend to Charn the whole way through, and both her and Maya's utter delight for him when he found Tinn (and them welcoming not only him but grandma into their little family so readily) warmed my cynical heart. And I will watch Sylvie Pavida in pretty much anything, I think.

All this raving and yet I still have to go with a final score of 9/10. I recommend this show, it's way better than I thought it would be, but there are some questionable choices made, the CGI and the fight scenes are laughable (the fire at Charn's office made me laugh so hard I had to pause), and they pulled out a guitar and sang not once, but twice. And they don't even have the excuse that one of them is supposed to be a singer. Also frankly nowadays every Thai show I watch I have to ask myself "did I enjoy this more than Moonlight Chicken?" which I only gave a 9.5, and for this one, the answer was no. So 9 it is, but a highly recommended 9. This was so much fun and it will be very missed on Saturdays.

Currently Watching

Be Mine Superstar - I really do  not get why they have decided to give the doom eleventh episode to this drama. It makes such little sense from this couple, who are the least dramatic pairing possible. They should have just left the angst to Muang and the doc.

Speaking of which, I have been disappointed with that storyline. I feel like we went from nothing to boyfriends with no real development, and now that they're not boyfriends again we're supposed to care, and I just don't.

Also Title is really out here doing the most. My dude, can't you just bow the fuck out gracefully? Blergh him and the manger stuff is still really annoying. Kevin was a delight though. Even though that's one too many dudes thirsty for Ashi for my personal taste (although he is very pretty so I totally get it).

Hidden Agenda - I actually kind of loved how ridiculous the conflict between Joke and Zo wound up being. Oh sure, Pat helping Joke along was a betrayal of trust or whatever, but it just felt perfect for the kind of drama this is. I get the idea that it felt like a betrayal of trust, but I also don't really get how it was too much different from what Zo was trying to do with Nita. Whatever, I love my low stakes drama on Sundays, keep it coming Hidden Agenda.

Kiseki: Dear to Me - This show is doing what I wanted from Only Friends and giving me all the cameos. The way I yelled when I saw the two from history: make Our Days Count. I think my favorite is Ai Di - poor little ball of adoration and pettiness and jealousy. I adore him. Oh, and that scene in the spa was great - I loved how everyone was looking at everyone else while the episode's guest stars (HI, Be Loved in House I Do guys! Good to see you) side eyed the lot of 'em. Me too, my friends. Me too. They're all messy and in love with everyone else and I am here for this weird quadrangle.

The main couple has less of a chokehold on me, but I like our uptight, traumatized doctor to be. And okay, yes, it got me with his unwilling return to a solitary life after Ze Rui disappeared on him. My guess is we're gonna speed run to the imprisonment and amnesia in the synopsis, and I'm good with that. I hope the cameos continue, but even if they don't I'm really enjoying this.

Taikan Yoho / My Personal Weatherman - I saw this called live action yaoi and at first didn’t really believe it, but no. No, it really is. And I am *here* for it. I can't say it's my favorite thing airing right now but I'm enjoying it.

The Jungle - (not a BL, so I'm cheating here, ah well) I don't know who thought that what we needed was four entire episodes of Pine's manpain, but they were very wrong. At least for my money. On the bright side, August is gorgeous and Pat is killing it. The series has been uneven for me and I'm a little annoyed they apparently want to wrap up Pine's BS, Nathee and Florence, *and* address Hunter's backstory in just two eps. But eh, whatever, I was only ever really watching for the women and Mix and thankfully Hack and Irin gave me all the mess that was promised (and not really delivered on, unfortunately. Not that I wanted a bunch of assholes womanizing, but aside from freaking Pine everyone's stories wrapped up in a couple of episodes of mostly no mess at all). 

Looking Forward To

23.5 - Come on GMMTV get this thing out already I want it. I have been patient but come oooooon. I had three highly anticipated dramas for this line up and this is the only one that hasn't been released yet and I want it. Gimme my GL.

Absolute Zero (Sep 27, iQiYI)- this is gonna hurt but at least I know it going in?

The Box (Sep 22, not sure about where) - Not a BL, but looks like a good time. Plus I'm interested to see Prem in a thriller - I think he'll do well.

I am also wondering what will replace the Monday/Tuesday hole The Jungle will leave when it stops airing or if they plan to do reruns.

And apparently we're getting the GMMTV 2024 lineup in Oct this year, which seems really early but maybe I'm wrong. I didn’t actually pay attention to the 2023 lineup until way after it came out so I can’t be trusted. *whispers* please let Midnight Museum have a season two, please let Midnight Museum have a season two.

[astaroth1357]

"Hi kinda new. I don't know if this is where requests go, but if you haven't done it yet can I request an MC sneaking into the boys beds?" ~irenethehotdog

The MC Sneaks Into the Brothers' Beds While They're Asleep

@irenethehotdog don’t worry, I found ya anyway. 😁 Sooo there was a kind of tender way I could have played this… but then there was a funny way. I hope you're alright that I went with the funny way. 😅 I got two bed requests that are kind of similar-ish but how I’m interpreting them makes them just different enough to warrant two different asks. Here's the first one!

Check out my Masterlist for more!

Warning: Comical nudity? Is that NSFW-ish?

Intro:

Sometimes everybody needs a little comfort, especially in the middle of the night. Any number of things could have drawn the MC out of their bed: bad dreams, nagging thoughts, just general fear of the darkness of Hell that surrounded them, but they decided to try to soothe their unease with the company of their demonic housemates! Wonder how that turned out for them..?

Lucifer

I mean, if you’re feeling a little alone at night, maybe a little scared, it would only be natural to want to seek solace with the strongest person in the nearest vicinity, right? ...Right?

To say it was maybe ill-advised to just climb into bed with Lucifer would be an understatement… Frankly, if the enchantments he had on his door weren’t specifically meant for Mammon then they might have ended up in a very compromised position. But somehow, they managed to infiltrate the demon’s private sanctuary and get right up to his bed.

Now, Lucifer is not a heavy sleeper. Not at all. He’s grown pretty accustomed to waking up at all hours of the night because of his brother’s antics, so he felt the shifting weight on his mattress almost instantly.

They probably weren’t expecting him to suddenly jerk upright and spin towards them, fireball in hand ready to lob at their face... but that’s what they got.

After realizing that it was just the human and not Mammon coming in to take his stuff again, he made them sit down in front of his fireplace while he gave them a looong lecture about personal boundaries and how it’s really not smart to sneak up on demons like that… 

But he was still sympathetic to their sleep-deprived state so he offered them some tea and Devildom sleep remedies in hopes of getting them back to bed. ...Just not his. Back to your bed with you, MC.

Mammon

Mammon was their “babysitter.” Their protector. Their guardian. So why wouldn’t they want to go to him on a difficult night?

Getting into Mammon’s bed was hardly a challenge, sure they had to tiptoe through the garbage heap that made up his bedroom floor but it wasn’t Mission Impossible or anything…

What did catch them off guard was just how… not clothed he felt after they slid in under his covers. Like, pretty much wearing nothing at all. Not even a pair of courtesy boxers. 😓

It was their squeal as they flung themselves out of the bed that actually woke Mammon up. They had him ripping the covers off, ready to leap into action and everything, which definitely didn’t help matters. (Or maybe it did, depending on your point of view 🤷‍♀️).

Both parties pretty much turned into a cursing/blushing mess as he shot them embarrassed, rapid-fire questions while desperately trying to pull on some sweats. Meanwhile the MC stayed plastered up against the wall of his bedroom, answering him in equally defensive shouts.

Eventually, their fuss woke up Lucifer who was quick to send both of them back to their respective beds. The House teased them mercilessly for weeks… How were they supposed to know Mammon slept naked??

Leviathan

Levi might be a… strange choice for bedmate at first glance (he doesn’t really even sleep in bed, but a tub hardly meant for two people). However, there’s a certain level of approachability to him, isn’t there? Considering his own struggles with anxiety, maybe they thought he could relate…?

They tried knocking on his door first, thinking he might have been gaming, but there was no answer. When they walked in and found the otaku actually asleep for once, it seemed like their wishes might have actually been granted!

...But then came the actual trouble of trying to get into bed with Levi to start with. There wasn’t really an easy way to squeeze their body in past his because the tub was so dang narrow…

Any rational person might have just given up on the venture, but not MC. Whatever's possessed them to want to sleep with this awkward shut-in has a pretty good hold on them yet.

Lack of sleep might have been what gave them the bright idea to just try and lay on top of Levi veeerrry sooooftlllly…. Which is how the poor demon woke up to them halfway straddling his waist in the middle of the night.

His remarkably high-pitched scream woke up the whole dang House and the sheer amount of force he used when trying to jerk out of the tub toppled it over… Even after many apologies (and a trip to go buy a new tub), Levi still double locks his door at night to this day… 😓

Satan

Really an odd choice there, not going to lie. They’re well aware of the possibility that they could accidentally wake him and he maaaay not be the best waker (what being Wrath and all) but if it’s irrational worries that got you down, why not go to the most rational person in the House? Sounds like a perfectly logical decision, right?

That might have been what their half-baked disillusions were telling them on the way to Satan's bedroom but actually standing in front of the sleeping man was a whole other story. They felt crazy, genuinely crazy… But they still slipped in under the covers anyway.

Satan stirred almost immediately and turned to face them… but his eyes could hardly keep focus and the look of dopey confusion on his face could have honestly made the perfect screen background. "Huuuuuh…? MC…? What're you doin' 'ere…?"

They kind of had to hold in a laugh while they explained that they just wanted to sleep next to him that night. Satan beamed them an oddly serene smile and just nodded. "Okaaay…" With that he seemed to roll over to go back to sleep… but his mind caught back up with him before his drowsiness did.

"Wait a minute..." Ah shit….

 Like Lucifer, Satan ended up giving them a pretty good lecture on boundaries and the like when he finally snapped out of his stupor. Thankfully he wasn't mad, just a little embarrassed that they had seen him like that. He offered them a good book or two to pass the time if they couldn't sleep, but sent them back to bed all the same.

Asmodeus

Asmo probably doesn’t get people coming into his bed with completely chaste intentions very often, but he’s by far the most emotionally in-tuned demon in the House. If they're after a little sympathy, best just go to Asmo right?

They weren't really sure what to expect when they walked into his room... Does Asmo sleep like a Disney Princess, hair and makeup done perfectly in defiance of all laws of beauty?

Does he sleep like a '60s housewife, with curlers in his hair and leftover chips of mud mask on his face?

Does he sleep like the god of all sex that he is, sculpted chest for the eyes to see and everything underneath laid bare like a honeypot of temptation??

The MC doesn't really get to know, because when they pulled back the covers to climb inside they were met by the sight of someone else's very naked ass taking up the spot where they thought Asmo should be.

They go back to their room willingly, dejected and maybe a little scarred... Apparently they were just too late to the party...

Beelzebub

Okay, everything about Beel screams “Hello! I’m a warm comforting teddy bear!”...aside from the hungry parts. It’s really not hard to see why they’d want to go to him if they’re feeling a little vulnerable.

They didn't worry too much about being quiet when they walked into the twins' room. Belphie could sleep through a rock concert and Beel wasn't too far behind him (as long as he wasn't hungry).

They figured that the tall twin wouldn't mind too much if they just crawled into bed with him… He had make a similar request of them before, it was only fair right?

As they were preparing their tired body for a good night's sleep, they gently pulled the covers back next to Beel but they probably weren't expecting to find so many food wrappers surrounding him… or bags of chips… or packages of cookies… or-

Apparently Beel had yet another sleep-eating run and this time he seemed to have brought the whole kitchen back with him. There was hardly enough room left for Beel anymore, let alone the MC!

Considering their options were to either wedge themselves between a havoc roast and a bag of jerky or just brave one more night on their own, they cut their losses early and went back to their own bed...

Belphegor

They didn’t have to know Belphie since Day One of being there to pick up on how hard he slept. The man was pretty much in a coma for most of the day and that included his nightly rests too. Would he even notice if they… per say… slipped into bed with him to get a little comfort from their nightmares? Surely, he’d stay asleep, right?

When they didn't see his sleeping form in the room he shared with Beel, the MC eventually found Belphie up in the attic room. His little hideaway with a plush-ass bed to boot.

They didn’t bother being quiet at all. They figured that Belphie could have stayed under for anything short of banging pots and pans in his ears so why try to mask their footsteps?

They never expected him to be awake. 😰

The moment they lifted the covers, Belphie struck like some kind of blanket crocodile! He grabbed them by the waist and dragged them into the spot of the bed right under him with a impish grin on his face.

Turns out they weren't the only ones having sleeping problems that night and as they felt the full weight of his worn out body settle in nicely up against theirs they knew that maybe, finally, they'd get a good night's sleep… 🤭

[thedeviljudges]

Do you think Yohan always planned to fake his death and join Elijah in Switzerland, or did he originally intend to really die with the rest of the 'villains'? Part of me thinks that would fit with his pre-Gaon conception of himself, as a monster, not deserving of love, not necessarily seeing a role for himself in Elijah's life beyond getting revenge for her/Isaac, and financing an opportunity to help her recovery. Or do you think regardless of that, he'd still never plan to leave her on her own?

i didn't mean to put off this ask for so long. i was busy, but i also wanted to wrap my thoughts around this before i tried answering. not bc i didn't have an answer to begin with but yohan and death is a subject i'd like to approach, but i'm not entirely sure how i'd like to make the analysis of it, and i'm not sure i ever will.

so that leaves me to answer it here in the best way i can because point blank: i do believe yohan intended to die by the end. i do think he had two plans in place since the beginning (dying or not dying and helping elijah), but of course, until that final moment, he wasn't ever going to know the truth. that end scene of him blowing up the court was a 50/50 shot. he had a plan to make it out, but it wasn't a guarantee.

but lets also back up a bit because before we get to that point, i think it's necessary to point out that the reason yohan gets away and does all of the shit that he does is because he knows that he might not make it out alive. it's why he's reckless. it's why he bends the law the way that he does. yohan's actions prove, over and over again, that he does not care for himself. he does not care to live except to protect elijah. there are so many small moments of this. we call yohan unhinged out of fun, but i think there is truth in it because i've mentioned this casually before (and part of my words above in terms of not necessarily knowing how to approach this just yet) is that yohan is almost...... suicidal himself.

he's reckless. he's said that he does not care about the actual law. his goal has always been getting revenge for his brother, especially for his niece who grew up without her parents. yohan never truly cared about the bigger picture until gaon came along. if we leave out gaon and think of the plot as such, yohan would've been able to prevail much quicker, i'd say. he had a plan and was going to follow through with it no matter what, regardless of the ending. and he knew going into it that there was a chance he wouldn't make it out alive.

which is why i think he partially also allowed elijah to blame him for her parent's death because if she hates him, it will be so much easier for her to forget him. she won't mourn him or miss him. she will be able to move on with her life and live it any which way she wants. but because yohan doesn't really understand kids, let alone elijah, what he fails to realize is that elijah doesn't actually hate her uncle. she's looking to get rid of all of the pent up hurt and frustration bc she never had an outlet to let all of that out. yohan fails to see that elijah cares for him and would miss him, to a degree, if he died.

so now, if we think of the plot with gaon, it twists everything on its head bc gaon has no need to be there within yohan's plans. yohan doesn't need gaon to do anything bc everything was already planned from the beginning. if anything, gaon came in and crashed some things, leaving yohan to pick up those pieces and continue pushing forward. biggest case in point, gaon's stubbornness and his arguments against yohan with the law and what he's doing.

see, gaon eventually comes to realize yohan's reasonings for doing what he's doing for his brother, but i feel like gaon thinks that even if that is part of yohan's plan involves revenge, how much does he think yohan is also doing this for the greater good and wanting to fix society? we know that yohan has no intention of that, but does gaon? and so no wonder gaon protests because if he thinks yohan is trying to fix a broken system (plus get revenge all in the same plot), no wonder gaon continues fighting yohan - he's under the belief that yohan is trying to make things better. but he's NOT.

which circles back to the idea that yohan had every intention of either making it out alive or dying. gaon opened his eyes that yes, maybe things could possibly be good. gaon made yohan question a lot of things along the way, especially his own humanness and realizing that he is worth something and not the monster he let himself believe he was, and what others told him he was. that wasn't part of the plan either, which is why it made it so much harder for yohan to go through with bombing the court because yohan's at a conflicting place of finally understanding gaon's hope but knowing that he only ever had revenge as an intent.

yohan's plan is derailed a bit by gaon being hope and introducing concepts yohan has lived without for so long. before then, yohan lived isolated with one clear goal in mind until gaon showed him he had a reason to live. i also said in another post that while gaon stopped yohan because he didn't want to see yohan going down a path he couldn't come back from, it was already too late at that point. yohan had already set his path long before gaon came into the picture and nothing he said or done would've changed that. but it DID given yohan more perspective and more heart, possibly being at peace even more so with dying knowing elijah would have gaon.

but instances within the show - of course, his two fake deaths. him steering gaon and himself off the road on the middle of the highway. him chasing after the minister's son. yohan asking soohyun to save gaon despite him literally bleeding out.

yohan does not care for himself. he does not care whether he lives or dies, as long as his plan is completed. we can talk til we're blue in the face about how yohan was wrong manipulating the law like he did and various other things, but the reason why? is because he did not care. and it wasn't because of him being a sociopath by any means. it was because he numbed his emotions, lied to himself, and used his love for his brother and elijah to propel him to a desired end with the possibility of his death involved. and quite frankly, that speaks volumes about who he is and just how much he actually cares, how much he actually has emotions.

yohan, to love his niece so much he decided to manipulate the law, to serve his own agenda and purposes for an outcome that wouldn't actually give them that much peace, but would at least position the country in a way they could grow and give elijah a life where she wouldn't have to grow up into that kind of destruction. this is why yohan "leaves" gaon behind and why gaon is the hope of the show because in going along with his plans, yohan realized that if gaon wasn't going to follow him through til the end, if he was going to do everything in his power to stop yohan, then the biggest apology yohan could give gaon was the world - the entire judicial system to make things right, to do better. that was yohan's gift to gaon and his apology because yohan had no intention of making it better. but maybe gaon could with him gone.

i've seen a few comments about how if yohan was someone in irl, we'd all steer clear of him, well, there's a lot of characters out there like that, but i wouldn't stay away from him for the reasons everyone typically lists (like the choking and manipulation) because they think he's that way just bc. yohan's actions mimic those of someone who simply doesn't care because they're depressed and not because they're psychotic. there is a DIFFERENCE. like yes, are some of his actions shitty? and his gaon right to mistrust the things he does sometimes, also yes.

but understand that there is a difference in people's behaviors depending on the underlying mental health issues involved. i don't fully believe yohan had any intent to hurt elijah or gaon maliciously. it's part of yohan being oblivious and not recognizing his own actions mixed with the entirety of his plans to be followed through til the very end. we've seen how oblivious yohan can be (the classroom bird story is a classic example; they all thought he was the devil when in reality, this kid only hurt the bird because it was scaring the girl he sat next to. logically, that mean eliminating the threat. he didn't purposefully kill the bird and enjoy it. it was a practical response within his own personal world).

i feel like i'm missing parts of this discussion, which is why i said this was a difficult topic for me to approach just to get all of my thoughts about it out there. and long story short to answer your question: i think yohan intended to die (just like he had a plan in case went to jail, for example). that possibility couldn't have been ruled out. but i think he had the plan to escape with elijah so that she could get better. either way, whatever happened happened, even if he died. elijah would be taken care of regardless.

gaon throws a wrench in his plans just a little bit, makes him realize his emotional capacities but gaon's not enough to stop yohan from seeing his plans out until the very end, even if that means losing gaon, too, because even if gaon has shown yohan that he is worthy of love and family and affection, it is not enough to forgive everything he's done, and he needs to make right what was wrong. yohan's death in that courtroom, if it had happened, wouldn't be the thing everyone needed to forgive him for his actions but it would be a start in eliminating himself as part of the problem.

another thing to keep in mind, is that we know yohan is not a sociopath, even if that's what everyone wanted us to believe. everyone thought he made sunah jump out the window, but what he was actually doing was protecting isaac and his mother's necklace. sunah made the choice all on her own, set up yohan and framed him despite yohan reaching out time and time again. isaac didn't even understand what had happened and focused on the fact that this girl jumped because of yohan without listening to the truth of it. yohan has always been shown to be fiercely loyal to the people he loves. he's never directly done anything bad (at least as a kid) unless he was provoked.

what people need to understand about yohan as a character is INTENTIONS. and i hope i'm making myself clear on this. everyone thinks he's born a devil, but that has never been the case. yohan's actions just come from a place from blind revenge. if he never needed to get revenge in the first place, if isaac was alive and well, would yohan make these same decisions? would he still be this kind of person who needed to use these methods to work around the law? i don't think so.

i think i remember getting an ask awhile back about whether yohan would eventually turn into who he is now had isaac lived because we see him livid and upset during that flashback to one of his earlier court cases (where we find he's ripping the paper with the pen) and whether or not isaac's death just fast forwarded the process. i don't feel like trying to go dig that post out, and i can't remember what i said on it either, but i feel yohan would have his family as a moral compass to keep him in line, and he wouldn't have succumbed to his present-day tactics. i think he could've worked his way up into the system and made real change. i think his heart could've been there all long, but again, was derailed by isaac's death and of course, plans changed.

this was a mouthful, and i hope what i'm saying makes sense because you can probably see what i mean about how difficult it is trying to organize my thoughts about this subject. but i am under the full belief that yohan had every intention of dying at the end or even before that. i think he's a depressed individual who learned to slowly open back up with gaon's help, but gaon is no doctor and no amount of his kindness would help someone that depressed either. it helped, certainly. but yohan saw himself as a monster/devil until the very end, and was more than willing to kill himself to make gaon and elijah's life so much easier. as penance. as justice. as love.

[artxyra]

So I had this idea and I was wondering if you would write it. So damian has lived with his dad for a couple of years, he is 15/16 and his brothers have been nagging him about going on a date like a normal teenager for months now, and then one day he just snaps and screams at them " don't you get it I'm already betrothed!" His brothers are confused but try to help " I'm sure we can find a loophole and get you out of it!" "No. If the betrothal is broken the league will kill her."enter marinette.

Note: Well this story sounded better in my head, but it took forever to type up. I hope you enjoy it. 

Damian couldn’t remember a time when his brothers didn’t make an attempt at his love life. Every other month (sometimes weeks) it was attempt after attempt.  He hated it. At first, he humored his brothers, but that humor quickly turned to the opposite emotion. Though Damian’s biggest secret thought that it was hilarious, and it was.

Damian remembers their first attempt, he was only fourteen, been in the Waynes’ custody for almost four years. He remembers being tugged into a bathroom and then forces to wear silly fancy clothes. His brothers should have been lucky that he didn’t have his weapons on him. To them, it was to gain the high school boy experience since Damian refused to do any of the sorts. Shouldn’t they just happy that he has one friend at the very least? Nope, they really wanted Damian to have a sense of normality.

“Baby bird, every teen goes on a date. Please just do this for us.” It was Dick that had started the persuasion. Damian had only tsk and fold his arms against his chest. He was already fed up with all the bullshit spewing from the older adopted Wayne’s mouth.

“Why should I even do this? I barely know the har—girl and—” Damian begins to scowl as Dick interrupts him by tossing a vest for him to wear. He mentally gags at the texture of the vest. Damian had scene better quality, not that he’ll tell where.

“We promise it will be worth it.”  It was Tim that adds to the conversation as Jason was to busy cleaning up his knife in broad daylight.

It wasn’t long after that was the date with a Gotham native. She wasn’t up to his standards; it was clear that she didn’t want to be with him for him. To this day he suspects that she only agreed because of the money. Damian tried everything to make the date super uncomfortable for the girl even going so far as to make up an explicitly detailed gory story. She left cursing his brothers, mainly Dick, out at the end of their date.

Damian had thought that would be the one and only time that would happen…he had forgotten the stubbornness that runs in the family. Failing was not an option as this continues for another four years.

“I’m sure it was a fun date.” A female’s voice says from the screen of his laptop, that was place on his dresser as he does shadow movements with his katana.

“It was tiresome, Angel, and quite frankly I’m getting sick of it.” Damian lowers the blade to his side and turns to face the screen. On the screen is a lovely female, around his age with long dark hair that drapes over her shoulders. She lets out a giggle.

“I’m sure they have the best intentions, besides it’s not like they know I exist, anyway.” She says rolling her eyes.

“Angel, I love you, but not even you can last an evening with the dates they have set up over and over again.” Damian sighs putting up the katana. He then picks up the laptop and goes to lie on his bed.

“Well, I’m sure it will all be fine. Besides, I have a surprise for you that is coming soon. Just hold out until then. Okay?” She says with a bright as a loud sound goes off in the background. Damian sighs and nods before ending the video call. He hates keeping her a secret, but it was the right thing to do.

It was a week later when his brothers came to him with another blind date proposal signally the tenth time that has happened in a span of a month. Everyone could see the growing frustration in the young Wayne heir. With the mention of dates, couples, restaurant, manhood, romance, it would set Damian off, although he was quick to calm down with a message from an Angel.

“Look Demon spawn, she is literally perfect for you.” It was an excuse, something for him to look forward to. No one is perfect.  

“C’mon baby bird, she could be the one.” Another excuse. There was only one girl that was the one and she’s several hundred thousand miles away.

“Go, it all fancy and shit, also the NDA.” Ugh, this was becoming numbing. Damian could only wish to slide his fine blade across all their necks. Also, why the hell would Jason even mention an NDA to him in the first place?

“What is this? Another blind date for the young master?” Thank god for Alfred.

“Alfred, we promise this will be the last time.” That’s a lie and he knows it.

Damian could feel the growing headache forming at the back of his mind. Dick’s moving too fast, Tim’s giving him all the details about his so-called date, and well Jason is just being Jason.

“Enough!” Damian finally breaks. “The reason why I don’t like going on these so-called blind dates is because I’m betrothed to someone.” The word betrothed rings through the heads of his family members.

“Wha~!” Simultaneously, the older Waynes’ minds break.

“Is there any way you can break it off? A loophole even? How are you betrothed?” Shouldn’t that had been asked backward? They could all see the steam oozing out of Damian’s ears.

Crossing his arms and turning his back to his brothers, Damian looks down. “No, not unless you want a death on your hands. The only way to end a betrothal is to kill the other, that has always been the League’s away of things.” The second the last word left his lips, Damian walks away; he needs to talk with his Angel.

Still in shock, everyone turns to one another.

“How could we have missed that?” Tim screeches before taking a sip from his mug despite the shaking in his hand.

Dick was unsure what to say, think, or do. It’s not every day you learn the brother you’ve been setting up is engaged. An engagement that they could not break.

“I’m more worried who the brat is engaged too?” Jason murmurs then proceed to clean out his gun. His brothers stare at him with wide eyes unsure what to say to the second oldest.

For the next week after that bomb drop, his brothers continue to pester him about his betrothal, they even managed to include Bruce in the conversation a couple of times. If it wasn’t for Alfred, Damian knows that the pestering would have left someone in the hospital.

On a rare sunny day in Gotham, Damian had taken Titus out for a walk. It was clear his mind and to get away for the time being. Finding a nice park bench to sit on, he pulls out a small sketchpad and begins to sketch. Titus runs around enjoying the outdoors.

“Is this spot taken?” The voice sounded so familiar. He grunts ever once looking up the person afraid that he had misheard the voice. “Oh, c’mon Dams, I thought you would be happy to see me.” It was then that he looks up. In shock, he pushes the sketchpad to the side and pulls the person in front of him into his arms.

“I miss you.” He murmurs into her dark hair. “But how?”

“I managed to win the Martha Wayne scholarship, and then your butler Alfred got into contact with me about visiting.” She says looking up to Damian, though she was mainly seeing his chin due to their height difference. “You’ve grown.” She then pouts.

Damian lets out a soft chuckle, hoping that no one outside of his Angel heard him. His Angel places her head against his chest and together they stayed like that until Titus decided that he was some attention.

“Awe, he’s so cute.” She says petting the Great Dane.

Damian was internally happy to have her by his side for the first time in years. She’s the one that is perfect for him and it’s not because she was molded to be, but because she knows him inside and out.

When Damian, Titus, and his Angel returned to the manor, it is Alfred that they see first.

“Welcome home, young master, and Miss Dupain-Cheng.” Alfred greets the teen.

“Alfred, please call me Marinette, my last name can be a mouth full,” Marinette says giving the butler a smile. Alfred nods and proceeds to guide them to the living room. “So, this is the Wayne manor, those photos you send me Dams does this no justice.”

Damian once again chuckles knowing she’ll be in a heavily inspired by the architecture which will then cause her to go dark until she finishes whatever project came out of the inspiration.

“Angel, how about I give you a proper tour of the manor?” He offers to which she gladly takes.

Marinette had been staying at the Wayne manor for a couple of days before Damian brothers make their grand entrance. Without catching sight of the girl, they make their way to the youngest Wayne hoping to get some answers about his betrothal.

“Um, you can ask me if you want,” Marinette says from behind the boys causing an outcry of emotions.

“What you’re real?” It was Tim rubbing his eyes that speaks first.

Marinette awkwardly nods, “And you need sleep. I have a special brew that can knock anyone out within seconds.” She says to Tim before turning to the others. “I’m Marinette, nice to meet you.”

Dick and Jason stare at the girl lost for words. Dick was internally gushing about her size and how cute she is compared to Damian while Jason struggles to comprehend the person in front of him.

Marinette closes the gap between her and Jason. She looks over the second oldest and smiles sadly. “You have so much darkness around you. The same that used to be around Dams. I could help you if you want.” She says taking the male’s hand.

Jason was lost for words. This person was willing to help him. He wasn’t sure how to feel but the light flowing off of this tiny person was overpowering.

“That’s it you’re my new favorite sibling. I will protect you with my life.” Dick cries out starting the competition of who’s Marinette’s favorite brother-in-law.

Not surprisingly enough, Marinette warmed her way into the Wayne family. She even bonded with Steph, Cass, and Barbara whenever the girls came over for a girls-only day. Damian quickly was reminded why he didn’t want his family to know about her, seeing that he barely has time with her as his siblings take all the time away. Though it has it’s benefits. He can now visit Marinette in France without needing to sneak away and she could come to visit the manor whenever she wants.

Damian knew the moment he said “I do”, she’ll be his forever in life and in death just like he’ll be hers forever.

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[lovelylogans]

honey, you’re familiar (like my mirror)

see other chapters, notes, and warnings here!

chapter five: obligate mutualism

obligate mutualism: a type of mutualism in which the species involved are in close proximity and interdependent with one another in a way that one cannot survive without the other.

REMY

Emile appears in Nice, squealing and jumping up and down.

“Hey!” Remy says warmly, hugging him; Emile’s joy is so infectious that Remy can feel Emile’s smile stretching across his own face. “What’s got you so happy?”

“They let him off!” Emile says exuberantly. “Rem, they let Remus off! Jay proved that they don’t have anything on him so Remus is free to go!”

“Oh my God, that’s amazing!” Remy says, then, “wait, what was Remus under arrest for?”

“Oh, murder,” Emile says, waving that off, “but Jay proved that Remus was just joking when he was threatening him, so Remus got off! Oh my goodness, he’s out! He can finish his latest book! He can stay with Roman! Yay!”

“Yay,” Remy cheers weakly, wondering what the hell kind of cluster his boyfriend has birthed.

ROMAN

Roman drops a substantial amount of money on champagne on their drive home.

Remus rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning a little bit, so Roman assumes that he’s happy about it. Or maybe he’s plotting how to ruin Roman’s possessions with champagne. One of the two.

Roman opens the door, balancing the champagne bottles in his arms, feeling a lot like he’s forgotten something. He drops his keys into the bowl on the entry table.

“Hey, Roman! Ooh, champagne—on a Tuesday? What, did you land a role with Guillermo del Toro?”

“God, I wish,” Roman says wistfully, then, oh shit I forgot to tell Sasha.

Sasha blinks a couple times before she stands up.

“Um, hey, sweetie,” she says. “Who’s your friend?”

Remus snorts loudly at the fake endearment.

“Um, Sasha,” Roman says, shutting the door behind him. “This is my twin brother, Remus.”

Sasha gawks at Remus. “I didn’t know you had a brother!”

Remus socks him in the shoulder so hard that Roman nearly drops the heavy glass champagne bottle. “You bitch, you said you’d tell her!”

“I forgot?” Roman says weakly.

“I have no idea how you put up with him,” Remus tells Sasha. “Is the convenience of a beard worth hearing him sing Disney in the shower?”

Sasha, looking a little startled that Remus knows the full truth of the deal Roman and her made, rebuts with, “

“Where have you been before this, anyway?” Sasha says.

“Oh, jail,” Remus says brightly.

“Oh, okay,” Sasha says, and, with a level of casualness that frankly stuns Roman, moves on to, “So, I’ve had a gripe with one of your books for forever.”

“Oh?” 

“I didn’t know you read his books,” Roman says, mystified.

“Yeah, I started back when I was doing that slasher pic a year and a half ago, you remember that?” Sasha says. “Helped me pick up on the internal life of a stalking victim. Anyways, the first book I read of yours—”

“Behind the Bushes, I’m guessing,” Remus says.

“Yeah!” Sasha says. “I super love that you subverted the expectations and the victim was the one that slaughtered the stalker, but I do think you could have carried through a threat she was considering through the book.”

“Which threat is that?” Remus says. “I write a lot of threats.”

“She should have castrated him,” Sasha says. “Duh.”

Remus looks at Sasha how an inventor might lovingly look at a device that finally works.

Roman groans, because he should have expected this outcome, and feared it.

“Oh, no,” Roman says. “You’re going to be friends.”

Sasha and Remus give him identical grins full of mischief.

LOGAN

Virgil appears sitting on the counter. Logan isn’t even fazed by the surprise of seeing him, although his heart rate does pick up a little.

Over the past few days, this is the way it’s been, between them; Logan suddenly finding himself looking over Virgil’s shoulder at his dinner when he’d meant to be looking at data charts, Virgil finding himself with handfuls of flowers in the face of the barren landscape of the Antarctic. 

Even when he isn’t actively visiting, Logan still feels that pull, his mind turning to Virgil at the oddest times of day. He tastes coffee when he should be drinking tea. He finds himself idly doodling South African native flora during dinner. He thinks Virgil might like this when he tries to read a novel during his relaxation times and wonders how best to explain the minutiae of his science to another scientist.

“Hey, Logan,” Virgil says, and Logan feels that thrill in his stomach again.

“Hello, Virgil,” he says, after making a show of turning on his Bluetooth, for the benefit of the other scientists in the lab. “How have you been today?”

“Pretty okay,” Virgil says. “My mom said she was gonna see if she could find any of the other sensates down here that my grandma knew, so I might be able to hear more about her cluster.” 

“Excellent!” Logan says. “Be sure to ask if they’re connected to the Archipelago?”

“You and that Neolithic Google,” Virgil says with a lopsided smile. “But, yeah. I’m being careful about it; I know not every sensate’s a great person to connect to. Ergo mom as a mediary.”

“A wise plan,” Logan says. “It does seem like a disadvantage that all that’s needed for a lifetime of connection is a singular instance of eye contact.”

“Maybe I should invest in a really good pair of blocking glasses,” Virgil teases, and he reaches over. Logan hadn’t even noticed they’d been slipping down the bridge of his nose.

Virgil gently nudges Logan’s glasses back into place, his finger resting on Logan’s nose, and Logan’s mouth goes abruptly dry.

This might be the first time one of us has touched the other.

Logan tries to swallow, coughs a little bit, and says, “It could potentially be a wise investment, yes. I’d—um. I’d have to do more research into what exactly would suffice to block eye contact.”

“Yeah,” Virgil rasps, and he clears his throat, too. “Yeah, that’s probably, uh. That’s probably a good thing to ask Emile about.”

“Yeah,” Logan says, and he fruitlessly tries to refocus his attention on his research. He’s much too aware of Virgil’s eyes on him.

JANUS

Janus turns the phone over and over in his hands.

One last job, two more jobs, three more jobs…

He remembers getting arrested for the first time. He remembers the lawyer who got Janus out of it, pro bono, and managed to keep it off his record by the skin of his teeth. 

He thinks about representing Remus in the courtroom; he thinks about the state of his accounts; he thinks about how the threat of jail that Remus would have faced was what spooked him into pursuing a law degree in the first place.

He thinks about Remus and Roman, side-by-side in the courtroom; he thinks about Roman declaring that he doesn’t care if Remus killed him or not.

Roman is an idiot. An idealistic, loyal, altruistic idiot.

Janus is many things. He is not an idiot.

Key, scowling, sits across from him at the restaurant. Sriracha aioli, fried cod. Janus has been here a thousand times before.

He proffers the little box; Key takes it.

“This is my last job,” Janus says.

Key snorts. “I’ve heard that before.”

Janus hands him the burner phone, too.

“Oh shit,” Key says. “For real?”

“For real,” Janus reaffirms. 

“Shit,” Key mutters, sitting back against the booth. They stay quiet. A waitress drops off their meal. They stay quiet for a bit longer.

“Don’t suppose I can lure you back with money,” Key tries to joke.

“No,” Janus says. 

Key heaves a sigh. “All right. Well.”

He moves for his wallet, and Janus shakes his head.

“I’ve got lunch,” he says. “I can appreciate that I’m leaving you in the lurch for a computer guy.”

Key snorts and shakes his head disbelievingly. “Yeah. Somethin’ like that.”

Janus chews the inside of his lip. “If you ever need a lawyer…”

“Yeah,” Key says. He stands. “Yeah.”

Key leaves. Janus stays.

He’s been here a thousand times before. And yet.

PATTON

There’s a hint of spice in his mouth, and Patton rolls over in his bed to see Janus.

“I keep showing up when I should be sleeping, I think,” Patton muses, before he reaches out and takes one of the chips that Janus is neglecting.

Janus snorts. “Roman was stealing those the last time I was here. Perhaps you all keep showing up to eat my food.”

Patton smiles, dipping the chip in the sauce. “Maybe,” he says.

Janus exhales loudly, before he says, “I have a brother too.”

“Oh?” Patton asks, intrigued, and for a moment they’re in Patton’s bed, Patton lying down with his head propped up on his arm, Janus sitting uncomfortably at the corner.

“Unlike Remus, mine did it. Does it,” Janus amends.

Patton frowns. “That’s tough.”

“I did too, until,” Janus checks his watch. “Three minutes ago.”

Patton’s eyebrows lift in surprise, but that’s the only sign he shows. 

“It’s the reason I became a lawyer,” Janus says.

“Oh,” Patton says because that—that clicks. He doesn’t know Janus very well—he will, surely, but he doesn’t yet—but taking on the good-quality job of lawyer for self-protective reasons makes a lot of sense. Janus kind of seems like the type of person to not really want to rely on other people.

“So, I don’t,” Janus says, and he sighs again. “I’ve been chasing down just one more job for years and years, and now…”

“Now, you’re done, and you don’t really know what to do with yourself?” Patton asks sympathetically.

Janus nods and he drinks some of his Ribena. The fizz of blackcurrant condensation pops in Patton’s mouth.

“Can I offer some advice?” Patton says. “You can do whatever you want with it.”

Janus scoffs a little, but he gestures for Patton to go ahead.

Patton takes another chip. “There are a lot of other people who need a lawyer’s help to stay out of jail. Not just sets of brothers.”

He dips the chip, takes a bite, and is back in bed right as a thoughtful look dawns on Janus’s face.

REMUS

Roman’s fake girlfriend is delightful.

They spend almost the entirety of dinner talking about their favorite horror movies—Sasha is quite the aspiring scream queen in her career, so it makes sense that she’s studied the greats—to a point where Roman puts his hands over his ears and went “I can’t hear you, lalalalalalaLALALALALALALA—”

Truly excellent. Especially when Roman had screeched at the top of his lungs when Sasha had gone into an in-depth side tangent about the verity of the special effects of slitting throats in movies.

And now—

“Ooh, that was good!” Remus says eagerly, pointing at the Sasha in the little screen as she gets stabbed.

“Right?!” Sasha says, and they ooh! in unison as the movie gets increasingly bloodier.

“I hate you both,” Roman grouches from where he’s slouched between them, one hand covering his eyes.

Sasha ruffles his hair. “Go ahead and break up with me, then, I’m sure the press will get us both booked like crazy.”

Roman grumbles to himself, and Remus grins at Sasha over Roman’s head.

“If any of my shit gets adapted into movies, I’m absolutely gonna make sure you get cast into a leading role.”

Sasha grins back. “You’re the best fake brother-in-law I could ask for.”

⁂

Sasha is flopped out on the couch, asleep, as the credits of the movie roll in the background.

“Where is your nearest sharpie,” Remus asks, and Roman rolls his eyes, pulling Remus to his feet.

“Leave her alone, Freak-a Kahlo. I’ve got a spot set up for you to sleep.”

“But,” Remus whines, images of lewd drawings dancing in his head, but he allows Roman to pull him away anyway.

Roman has got a little cot set up for him in his room; it’s like they’re ten again, on a trip to see their abuela, except Remus can’t tackle him and wrestle him to the ground for the honor of sleeping on the bed.

Well, he could, but considering Roman posted Remus’s bail, he figures that roman could be allowed to sleep in his own bed.

All the same, it does give Remus a strange sense of deja vu of their (admittedly rare) family vacations; Roman brushes his teeth and does his extensive skincare routine in the bathroom first, then he cajoles Remus into handling his hygiene, please, they’re living together in the same room, eating soap didn’t exactly work to make Remus smell like a spring rose. To which Remus would usually rebut good, he doesn’t want to smell like a spring rose, he wants to smell like sewage, to which Roman goes ugh, how are we twins, how did two people so catastrophically different come out of the same womb, at the same time, to which Remus says it’s payback for stealing my dick in utero, to which Roman says that doesn’t even make any sense, it’s not like I have two, to which Remus says—

It’s a whole familiar argument, anyway. But Remus does at least dunk his head into Roman’s bathtub to get his hair sopping wet and swish around some mouthwash.

They’re both tucked into their blankets, and Remus is staring at the ceiling, wondering at the best ways to ruin Roman’s fancy linens. He thinks Roman’s fallen asleep until his voice pipes up.

“I’m glad you’re not rotting in jail.”

Remus ugly-snorts. “Yeah, I guess I am too.”

“Thanks to our weird psychic lawyer, anyway.”

“And your fuck-off big actor money,” Remus reminds him, rolling over to face him. The room is so dark that he can barely see the outline of Roman’s face. 

“Yeah, honestly, bribing the cops was going to be my next plan if you didn’t show up,” Roman says sleepily.

Remus grins at Roman in the dark. “I’ve been a fantastic influence on you.”

“Incorrect,” Roman grumbles.

“You’ll be watching slashers with Sasha and me in no time.”

“Ugh, I hope not,” Roman says. 

“They’re inspiring!”

“Yeah, to you, Mr. Big Horror Novelist.”

“You know what else is big—”

“Ew! Ew ew ew, I know I set it up, but ew. No.”

“...This—”

“Remus, I’m kicking you out, I swear to God.”

“No, you’re not,” Remus sing-songs, “You were gonna bribe the cops, I’m holding this over your head forever.”

“I didn’t actually bribe the cops.”

“Yeah, but you were gonna,” Remus says. “Funnily enough, that seemed like the biggest case the cops had against me, too. That I was gonna.”

“I know you’re a horror writer, but I hope you don’t write about Miguel,” Roman says. “Might look a bit too If I Did It to the public.”

“Course not,” Remus says, his eyes slipping shut. 

“Good.”

“I’m going to be writing a book about murdering the cops.”

“Oh, much better,” Roman sighs.

VIRGIL

Virgil spits out his toothpaste into the sink and looks up into the mirror to see Logan in his reflection, his glasses off, a toothbrush in hand.

“Fancy meeting you here,” Virgil quips.

The Logan in his reflection smiles at him awkwardly around his toothbrush, blushes, then redirects his attention to finishing off brushing his teeth as quickly and thoroughly as possible. Virgil uses that time to wash his face; Logan follows not long after. Virgil gets a whiff of the facewash Logan is using; it smells rather nice, something floral.

They do their respective routines in companionable quiet; Logan, waking up for the day, and Virgil, about to go to sleep. 

“What’s on your agenda for the day?” Virgil asks, moisturizing his face.

“Research, research, and more research,” Logan says dryly, rubbing sunscreen onto his face. Their hands move in unison; moving in small circles on each cheek, up to the forehead, down the nose, the chin, down the neck. Mirror images, if not for their distinct physical differences.

“Probably should’ve guessed that,” Virgil says, rubbing the excess moisturizer into his forearms. 

“Oh, you missed—”

And suddenly, Logan is not just in his mirror, but in his bathroom, reaching out a hand to smooth some more moisturizer into his skin.

“Right here,” Logan says softly, his fingers gentle on Virgil’s cheekbone. Virgil barely even breathes as Logan smooths away the smear of moisturizer.

“There,” Logan murmurs, but he’s still cradling Virgil’s face.

“Thanks,” Virgil rasps.

Logan smiles at him, just a little. “You missed right there when we first met, too.”

“Did I really?” Virgil asks. He can barely focus on anything else except the cool smoothness of Logan’s hand.

“Mhm,” Logan says. “There I was, thinking I was going crazy, and there was this African man planting a jacaranda tree into the tile, with a smear of sunscreen on his face…”

“And I had this note-taking Pole talking to me about preferring if I were a hallucination,” Virgil says. “Telling me you’d ignore me if you saw me again.”

“And then I immediately started questioning you,” Logan says, smiling. “And…”

He trails off. His hand is still on Virgil’s face. Virgil is standing so stock-still he could probably turn into a scarecrow, if only for the virtue of keeping Logan’s hand on him.

“And then I kept feeling this pull,” Logan continues quietly, looking Virgil in the eyes. He isn’t wearing his glasses; there is nothing between Virgil and those bright blue, captivating eyes. “This pull to come to you.”

“Me too,” Virgil says softly.

Logan licks his lips. He says, softly, “I do wonder why it is us, that keep feeling this pull to each other.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” Logan affirms quietly. “Maybe there’s that call to those similar that we theorized about, that day. Maybe that’s what fuels this connection. Whenever I learned something new, I flashed to you. Always to you. I’m not sure if we’ll ever find out why. Perhaps there’s a level of…”

A level of what, Virgil doesn’t know, because he leans in and kisses Logan.

Logan freezes, and, with anyone else, Virgil would panic and pull back, thinking he’d been presumptuous, but he abruptly feels a thrill in his stomach and a yes in hid mind that may as well be in Logan’s voice, and Virgil’s shoulders relax at the presence of it, of that pull between them finally being eased.

Virgil wraps his arms around Logan’s waist, and Logan’s arms twine around Virgil’s neck, and they kiss, continents and oceans apart, able to taste the minty toothpaste on each other’s breath.

[scammydoesstuff]

So about that 'Blue Bloods' episode…

I recently saw something come across my dash regarding Alex Brightman’s guest appearance on the season 11 episode of 'Blue Bloods' (The Common Good) and it reignited the vehement response I had to the episode as a whole. And, since I have this blog now, I figured…fuck it. I need to rant about it.

So that's what this is.

Take what I say with a grain of salt, of course. This show is so clearly not for me and I acknowledge that, but I went to school for and got my degree in creative writing and so much of this episode pissed me off from a narrative perspective and I just really need to talk about it. Putting it under a Read More, though, so you can ignore me if you’d like while I rage to no one in particular. Apologies in advance if you choose to read on. I'm super long-winded. Luckily I don't have pictures and this is more of just a lot of text, so…it could be longer?

So, to begin, I’ll freely admit that I’d never seen an episode of 'Blue Bloods' before this and I’ve not watched it since. I mean, if the rest of the episodes are as badly written as this one, I have no interest to either, but I digress.

Overall my main problem with the episode was how desperately it avoided ‘showing’ over ‘telling’ and, as a visual medium, that’s kind’ve a big deal. We were told pretty much every detail that was presented to us. These people love to hear themselves talk, but do little to actually show things as they happen and I believe a part of that has to do with the focus of the show itself, which is definitely unique to this brand of television. By that, I just mean that it’s not the format I might’ve expected from a show like this. Most cop shows give a lot of focus to the cases, and the intrigue you get with the characters is how they apply their own skills and knowledge to solve them, with the hi-jinks they get into along the way being more of a bonus.

This is not that kind of show.

No, 'Blue Bloods' as a show is way more interested in the cops and their familial ties than it is about the actual job that they’re doing, as shown prominently with the political plot of this episode which was also very focused on the relationship between Tom Selleck’s character and his daughter and the wholly unrelated dinner scene where they talk about lent for 2 and a half minutes and acknowledge nothing else that happened in the episode. This show doesn’t care about the job of being a cop so much as it cares about the cops themselves.

Which would be fine if I gave a shit about cops, but I don’t.

You could argue that the mentor plot is the exception to that, but that entire situation had no real consequences for the cop in question, Jamie, abusing his power. It was entirely focused on how the situation affected him and how it was fine that he’d nudged this kid to get information which ultimately led to the arrest of Dion's brother, and Dion quitting the program. Hell, if Jamie had, in his final scene with Dion, owned up to his abuse of power and left the program — to then urge Dion to rejoin so that he can have that positive outlet in his life without him there — I would’ve been way more okay with it, but Jamie faces no consequences past ‘I don’t wanna see you anymore’, which I was never convinced he actually cared about in the slightest. There's nothing cathartic about it, it's just shitty and left me feeling frustrated at the lack of consequences for the cop.

But hey, you prolly don’t wanna read me going on and on about those parts. You prolly wanna know why I hate it despite Alex’s plot — which I fully expected to love because he’s perfect and gorgeous even when he’s playing a bad guy and he was just so adorable in his lil suit and they let him keep the scruff this time, and he was all handsome an— I need to stop. That could go on forever.

Anyway, to put it simply; it was bad, but I'll definitely explain why.

Now, I don’t think any of the guests in this episode necessarily did a bad job. They still acted well enough for what they were given. I just think they had a shit script that wasn’t interested in that story line. I mentioned at the top of this that this show cared more about telling than showing and that’s a huge problem when you want me to buy a character being the culprit in your murder plot. I need evidence, not anecdotes. Cuz, yeah, by the end of the episode, I didn’t buy for even a second that Ralph did it. And it’s not because he was played by Alex who is just charisma incarnate. I can believe him playing a bad guy. I also watched his 'Law & Order SVU' episode where he scared the shit outta me. He can play a creepy and violent character very well, he just wasn’t convincing to me as a bad guy in this show.

And here’s why!

First of all, he confessed at knife point. That confession would be thrown away IRL. It’s the same problem with using torture to get information. If a person’s life is threatened or they're being harmed in some way, they’ll usually say whatever it takes to get you to stop threatening them/causing them pain. Same deal here. You can’t convince me with a confession like that.

But they didn't seem to be interested in convincing anyone as far as I could tell. They just expected you to believe it because, ‘no, didn’t you hear? He said he did it, so he did it.’ They had so many opportunities to portray this character as the shitbag that we’re told he is. Hell, great way to really implicate him? Give him a female assistant that Donnie Wahlberg and his partner overhear / walk in on him berating for something small like getting him the wrong coffee or something. Then have them talk to that assistant later on and her mention some weird behavior from him on the night of Andrea’s death. It's cliché, but it's more than what we got.

Or you could have him talk to Meghan in a super condescending voice when he approaches her after her interview later on. Or, hell, have him refer to the murder victim in a condescending way even as he talks about her death. But no. The most we get out of him is that he's maybe a little snarky and smug when talking to the cops, but that’s not enough to convince me he’s a bad dude. Frankly, his producer buddy came off as more of an asshole, if I'm being honest. Just cuz (we’re told) his character did shitty things to her in the past doesn’t mean he’s still shitty. Show me he’s still shitty. I wanna see it and I know Alex is capable of a performance like that.

Second, it’s also just…obvious to make him the culprit if we're to believe everything we're told about him. He and Andrea are described as having had beef a little while before the murder with him being abusive mentally and physically. He’s known in the community to be a misogynist and an abusive person overall. He’s the obvious suspect, but if there’s anything that Scooby-Doo taught me, it’s that it’s never the most obvious person. Like, once in a blue moon, sure — but it’s rare.

So yeah, I don’t believe that Ralph did it. You wanna know who I do think did it?

Meghan.

Alright, so bear with me. This'll prolly sound a little conspiratorial, but hear me out:

She had the motive. She confirms in the beginning of the episode that she’s also a female gamer like the victim, but that she was ‘no Andrea’. Andrea was her competition. They were (supposedly) friends and stuck together as female gamers, but Andrea was still competition. With her out of the way, Meghan’s able to rise in the ranks, if even a little bit.

She had a scapegoat in Ralph — again, the obvious suspect given his tumultuous relationship with Andrea sometime prior — and an obvious grudge against men in their community in general. And, don’t get me wrong, men in gaming can and often are hella toxic — I’m not, in any way, denying that — but she got way more emotional when talking about the men in their community than when she was talking about her supposed friend lying dead in the adjoining room.

Speaking of the adjoining room, how did she not hear the murder happening? It couldn’t have been when she was down in the bar, cuz we see Ralph there too in the crappy CCTV footage that was supposed to show him being an asshole, I think (hard to really see). Was she just fucking around somewhere else when it happened? She doesn’t mention as much that I recall (correct me if I'm wrong on that, of course). And Andrea was strangled to death. I would assume that there would’ve been a struggle with that. Are you seriously telling me she wouldn’t hear that in her adjoining hotel room? Those walls aren’t that thick. I find that kinda hard to believe. And that she wouldn’t have found her till the next morning after that, also strikes me as a little odd.

Going off on some previous points, she shows very little grief over her friend’s death. Not just in the intro scene, either, but later on as well. (Side bar: that intro scene itself was very misleading. Don’t lead with a murder plot if it only takes up less than 10 minutes of the overall runtime, kay?) The show did a pretty bad job at indicating the passage of time, but it’s implied that the convention is still happening when Meghan gets the confession out of Ralph, so it would’ve had to have been the same weekend, or possibly the same week (though most conventions I’m aware of don’t last that long — it’s usually a weekend thing, at most Thursday-Sunday — but it could be similar to AGDQ, which seems to last about a week). So, if this is only a day or so later, why would someone who is supposedly grieving over their dead friend do interviews like nothing is wrong? Wouldn't you, like, reschedule or just politely decline and say you need time to process the shock? Like, when we cut to ol’ Donnie Wahlberg calling her after her interview, she doesn’t look upset — as I imagine she might if they’d likely asked her questions about Andrea / her feelings about the murder — and she seems cool as a cucumber when she asks Ralph to go somewhere private. In fact, the look on her face indicates pretty clearly that she’s planning to do something. Specifically, not that she's scared, that she's angry.

Finally, she’s the one who’s attacking Ralph when Donnie Wahlberg and company arrive on the scene. She doesn’t seem to have any marks on her indicating that he made any move to harm her (again, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't remember seeing her with any marks / cuts), but he’s got a clear, bleeding cut on his face. She attacked him first and was going in for the kill.

Or…was she? Cuz right before Donnie Wahlberg pulls her into that bear hug to stop her from the attack, she doesn’t do a great job of actually trying to kill Ralph. She was close enough that a quick dart at him would’ve probably been enough to at least injure him pretty significantly — maybe even fatally — and would’ve surely led the cops to pull them apart to secure him, but she kinda just hops around a bit and screams before lunging for him. That’s a really weird way to attack when you actually want to kill someone.

But, then again, I don’t necessarily think she did want to kill him. I’m convinced she wanted that confession, but that she also wanted him in jail and was playing the part of the super sad and hysterical victim who was just so overcome with her grief that she wasn’t in her right mind. I think that’s what they were going for in regards to her character in general, but it came across as less sincere in the performance and more like the character was putting on an act. They then cart Ralph off while comforting her — despite the fact that she disobeyed a direct order from police, which should lead to her being detained as well! — and that plot ends.

So, she gets what she wants in the end. A person she despises is now in police custody, her competition is out of the way, and the publicity she might get for bringing that ‘murderer’ to justice might eventually lead to her own career getting a nice boost. I dunno, it just strikes me as her having a great reason to have initiated this over Ralph just being a misogynist who 'was really trying to kill Meghan and just got the wrong girl'.

So yeah, with what the show presented to us, I believe Meghan’s the real killer. Again, if they’d done more to show me that Ralph was a bad dude or that she was more affected by her supposed friend’s death, or if they'd just given that plot more room to breathe to show those things, I might’ve been more inclined to buy the narrative they were pushing but…as is, I don’t believe it.

That’s pretty much all I wanted to say on the matter. I had a lot of issues with the domestic abuse plot line too, but they barely gave that 5 minutes of the overall runtime, so does it really matter in the long run? This is just…my thought process of the only part of the episode I watched for and how disappointing it was for me. And yes, I timed each section of the episode to figure out how much time was given to each of the 4 plots, plus the dinner scene at the end, but not counting the intro theme, and the murder plot got just over 8 minutes, of which Alex was on screen for half of that time. He got less than 5 minutes of screen time. It was definitely worth it just because he’s wonderful and I just like seeing him on these shows, but from a narrative standpoint, it felt pointless.

Okay, I’m done. Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Unless y’all wanna talk about this some more, cuz I’m so down for that.

[deniigi]

@pomegranate-belle and @puffins-studio have kindly convinced me to share with you all this little bit.

It’s of Electric Sheep but if Android Matt had a Mike who’s been looking for him since they were separated as youths (right before Matt started to become an android)

Title: Seventeen years

Summary: bounty hunter Mike has been taking jobs in nyc, searching for his lost twin. A chance encounter with a blonde woman who steals his heart helps him find him.

---------------

Seventeen years, ten months, 18 days.

Mike had lived out of the city longer than in it. Rochester was as close as he’d gotten in foster care, but work had dragged him through occasionally, and frankly he was grateful for it.

He’d told himself seventeen years ago that he’d get back.

So here he was, reflecting on life outside the cell of a guy screaming bloody murder.

Dude was a bot-trafficker.

The shit made some serious dough, Mike had seen it himself. But you know what else made some serious dough? Bounty hunting. I.e. Catching the people who got pissed off about other people makin’ some serious dough.

These days, they were all bot-traffickers. Mike could barely remember a time when he was chasing jewel thieves and counterfeiters down alleys anymore. It was all bot-this and bot-that—which, to be fair, was kind of the same thing as a jewel thief.

Property was where the real money was at. And bots? Hoo boy, the best kind could cost a penthouse.

Mike thought it was good for them that they had no idea how much they were worth. He found it kinda sweet if he was honest. This screamin’ bot dude’s collection of androids were all tucked up against each other in the other room, performing ‘maintenance’ on each other like a pile of cats. They were community-minded, bless ‘em. It made Mike smile a little bit.

Of course, so did the paycheck.

Yeah, the paycheck helped, too.

 --

 He got a job for the city. He took it without asking too many questions.

It didn’t matter how much city jobs paid, Mike always went ready for a double-shift there.

The last time he’d seen Matt had been when their social workers had untangled their hands at St. Agnes. Both of them had been wailing like toddlers, like they had been in front of Dad’s casket.

Up until that point, everyone had assured them that they’d be kept together—that no one was going to try to separate them. They were twins. People would understand that you couldn’t just take the one and leave the other. They had an unbreakable and psychic bond, clearly.

But then one day the social worker hadn’t answered Matt’s question when he’d asked about it again, seeking reassurance.

Mike’s stomach had dropped then. And sure enough, the next thing they knew, people were throwing around words like ‘specialty care’ and ‘high-risk’ and ‘better in the long-run.’

Mike had gone to a foster home screaming and fighting in the back of a sedan. Matty stayed behind, allegedly to be placed in some kind of group home with more ‘supportive’ care.

That was seventeen years ago--almost eighteen years ago.

Mike only knew what Matt looked like these days because he shaved every morning in the bathroom mirror. But, he told himself, not for much longer.

He hadn’t become a bounty hunter for the looks. He’d done it for the money and the job experience. Could he track a criminal? Hell yeah. He’d been one. He knew how they thought. More importantly: could he track a brother?

He could, actually. He was a Murdock; he knew how they thought.

 --

 The job in the city was whatever. Took half an hour and a big smile to corner the gal like a rat. She went to the highest bidder; Mike went back out on the prowl.

Chances were that Matt would be drawn to Hell’s Kitchen. And chances were that he would be searching for Mike as Mike was for him. He was an idealist like that. Like Mike.

Awwww. Old habits die hard.

 --

 Hell’s Kitchen had changed over the years, but it still felt like home when Mike put a foot in the boundaries. He knew these stoops and all these torn posters. He knew that skyline and that raggedy flag pole.

The names on the businesses changed—some got new lights, some got new windows, but all in all, the feel was still there.

 --

 He set out to find Matt in the old, old haunts. Stopped by the church. The old kids’ home. They still hadn’t seen him, no, Mike. Sorry, my son.

He took a waltz down memory lane by the docks.

He found the greasiest looking coffee shop he could and sat at a sticky table, people-watching through the huge half-wall windows for about an hour.

Nothin’ yet.

His coffee was cold when he left.

  --

He ran into a girl at a bar that night under green and red neon lights. They danced close. She told him he reminded her of someone she knew, and Mike thought that that was just a lovely coincidence, sugar, wasn’t it?

He invited her to his hotel room. She accepted.

He woke up to waves of amber grain strewn across this pillow, sticking to his lips, and the smell of something powdery and floral in the endless line of this lady’s neck.

God, she was like a swan. Mike ought to buy her breakfast.

He did because he was a gentleman. He left to go grab a sandwich from the bodega outside but came back to find the bed and the room empty. There was a little note on the pad next to the bed that said ‘thanks, handsome’ with a smile face next to it and a number.

He eased himself down on to the bed and stuffed a sandwich in his mouth to grin around.

  --

Her name was Karen.

It wasn’t their last night. Mike saw her when she was in the city and they had a well-worn routine after a few months.

Every time, a new bar, a new club, a new drink. But the same dance and then the same chase and collapse.

She told him nothing about herself, and he loved that about her. She passed fingers through his hair. She trailed them across his jaw, bristly stubble or no.

And then the next morning, she was gone, and Mike was sighin’ like a blue bird in spring.

 --

 Valentine’s Day found Mike in the city. He didn’t delude himself with thinking that Karen was available—he wasn’t that full of it.

But he did think that even a lady as lovely and possibly taken as Karen deserved a bouquet of flowers from a ‘friend.’ So he took a meander down to a wholesaler and chatted up one of the makers until a collection of spring tulips graced by baby’s breath found their way into his hands.

Karen, he suspected, worked somewhere in an office. Her ever-present, practical pencil skirt said so, and the way that she frequented Josie’s told him that she lived in the area around 9th and 52nd.

It wasn’t hard to snoop. It wasn’t hard to trawl through the local business websites in that area, peeking at staff pages until low and behold, the golden grail herself appeared smiling on try number 7.

He smiled back at her photo and went back to get the name of the place and the address only to pause in his tracks.

Nelson & Murdock.

Karen worked at a law firm called Nelson & Murdock.

Huh.

Well. Good for that Murdock. Mike hoped he was out when he brought these flowers in.

 --

 The firm was dinky and crammed up two flights of stairs across from an orthodontist’s office. Mike pitied Karen for having to spend her days watching droves of traumatized middle schoolers leave that place with wires crammed in their faces. The flowers even looked like they were wilting in the hallway.

Mike gave them a pep talk on his way to the door.

He knocked but no one answered, so he turned the knob and a handful of people where sat looking nervous in the waiting area. The front desk was empty. Abandoned.

Oh, Karen.

Ever at work like you are at play.

Mike made his way over the desk and caught sight of a familiar fluffy little ball on a keychain at the edge of the desk.

It was adorable.

He found a scrap of paper by the phone, reached over and snagged it and a pen to leave a little love note when he felt a tug at his elbow.

He forced down the irritation and turned back with a smile. An older lady with huge bifocals squinted at him.

“Mr. Murdock,” she said. “I’ve got to go move my car. Don’t you give up my place, you hear?”

Mike forced himself to hold his smile.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I think you’ve got the wrong guy, madam.”

Murdock must have looked smooth as hell for Mike to have been mistaken for him.

The lady squinted left, right, and center, then scoffed and pinched his arm.

“Cheeky boy,” she said. “I’ll be right back.”

She left.

Mike’s brain short-circuited for another few seconds before declaring that whole situation unresolvable, bizarre, and emphatically not his problem. Sorry Nana. Go to the back of the line like everyone else.

He went back to writing his card.

“Matt?”

He didn’t mean to look up. It was a reflex, man. It came with the twin-territory, and this time it brought a moment of panic as Karen’s brow dropped stormily and her fists found her hips.

“Where the hell have you been? We’ve been calling you all morning?” she demanded.

Mike’s palms started sweating.

Did Karen? Not? Recognize him?

Had he misread this whole love affair? Or maybe it was the daylight that was confusing her?

It had to be the daylight, right?

“Matt,” Karen said, irate as could be in that pretty blue and white top. “Don’t just stand there. Say something.”

Ahahahahahaha.

Too close. Too much.

“MATT.”

Out we go, back to the hovel from which we came.

  ---

He breathed out hard in the street below and turned back to look up at the window of Nelson & Murdock. It was flung open and he didn’t give Karen the opportunity to get her nose out of it. He hurried off into the crowd, ducking and squirming until he was sure that he was good and gone from sight.

Then he found an alley to clutch at his heart in.

It had been years since someone had called him Matt. Sometimes he took the name on as a false one, when working for especially shitty shit-heads. But Karen??

Mike was positive he’d introduced himself as Mike. ‘Michael’ but more like Costello than Abbott, he’d said. Karen had laughed.

What the fuck, man? What the fuck?

He looked at the flowers in his hand.

A waste.

Hhhng. Alright, well. There was for sure to be someone needing cheering up at a bar somewhere. Might as well spare them for the Singles Awareness Gigs sure to be happening soon.

  ---

He ended up at Josie’s because he always ended up at Josie’s, but this time with barely anyone in the place at 3pm on Valentine’s Day, she actually noticed him and gave him an eyebrow. He chose to ignore it in order to wallow in self-pity and raised his glass to his lips.

It didn’t make it.

He stared in stunned silence at the hand suddenly covering his glass.

“I don’t think that’s a wise idea, pal,” Josie said.

Mike gaped at her in shock.

“I? Paid for this?” he said.

There was a long moment of awkward silence.

“Jesus, I’m so sorry,” Josie said. “My bad. I thought you were someone else.”

Someone else?

Someone—

WAIT.

“Someone else? Does someone who looks like me come here?” Mike blurted out with zero grace before he could stop himself. “Does he—do you know his name? Is he—does he—”

Josie frowned hard at him.

“You’re not Matt,” she said after a long moment. “I always thought you were Matt.”

Matt!!

Matty!! MATT. You little shit. You perfect, darling, little shit. Out here, comin’ to Josie’s like a chump—possible alcoholic Matt!

Okay, wait, roll that one back—one problem at a time.

“He’s my brother. I’ve been looking for him for eighteen years, we were separated in foster care—do you know where he lives?” Mike asked with no filter to be seen for miles.

Was it professional of him?

No.

But were hugs at airports ever professional? Exactly. Get off his case.

He beamed wide at Josie, but her face did not reciprocate the gesture. Actually, it seemed to be doing the opposite and that made this little squirming feeling start up in Mike’s gut.

“Christ,” Josie said. “I’m so sorry, man.”

Wh-what?

“You’re gonna need a double.”

What did that mean?

“Take this.”

No. No, what did that mean?

“Take the shot, kid. Trust me. You’re gonna need it.”

  ---

No.

Just.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

Josie rubbed her fingernails against her cheek and sighed.

“His owner brings him along,” she said. “Lets him work at their law firm with him—he’s made the papers, sure, but you know. It’s all kind of colored by the fact that he can’t really do shit without permission.”

Mike rolled the tumbler in his hand around.

Nelson, eh? So called ‘owner’ of the android called Matthew Michael Murdock.

Ahahahaha.

Get ready to die, motherfucker.

“But he tries to drink—Matt does,” Mike felt himself say.

Josie didn’t want to look at him.

“Sometimes, it’s like he forgets he’s a droid,” she said. “Usually, he’s got someone with him to keep him out of trouble.”

Fuck.

Fuck.

“I’m sorry, Mike,” Josie said. “It’s a load of bull.”

FUCK.

He set the tumbler down.

“How much do I owe you?” he asked.

“It’s on the house,” Josie said. “Best of luck.”

Yeah.

Thanks.

  ---

Matty was—

Matty was—

Mike made it back to his hotel room before sinking to his knees by the bed. God had never heeded his prayers before, but things were different now.

Matty couldn’t pray for the both of them anymore. He was—He was--

Mike had to—

God, please.

Please. Give him back. What once was lost had to be found.

What once was lost, God.

Mike had lost him.

He’d lost him forever.

Give him back.

 ---

 He typed Matt’s name into the search engine on his phone and made it through one whole article before he was kneeling before a much harder, much more porcelain altar.

He tried again in the bathroom this time, sat on the floor with his back against the tub.

The bot that someone had made out of Matty looked so sweet. Like Mike, but softer in the cheeks. Younger. Forever 22 or something close to it.

He was still blind, despite all his other modifications and he was a little famous in the field of robotics. Not that the bot appeared to care. The articles claimed that the bot had recovered and retained memories prior to what they kept calling his ‘transition.’

What they meant was when he’d been transformed into a human weapon. An inhuman weapon.

Matty, I’m so sorry.

 ---

 There was only so much self-pity a man could wallow in before his ass started to fall asleep. But more than that, Mike was a Murdock. The tingling in his limbs was lost to the ever-increasing roar of fire in his ears.

That bastard. That bastard lawyer.

Taking Matt after everything he’d been through and turning him into some prop to be used as a showpiece in a grand legal theatre.

Fuck no. Fuck that.

Mike wasn’t fucking this up twice.

 ---

 Nelson & Murdock was closed by the time Mike once again found himself outside its doors. He stared at the sign’s heavy black letters and gave in to the devil raging, hot, underneath the skin of his chest.

He left the shattered doorglass on the ground as he made his way to the opposite stairwell.

 ---

 Karen.

  ---

She lived nearby 9th and 52nd. She was probably going home to her handsome hubby, who’d shower her in chocolate and wine and flowers. But on the way, she’d make a stop. She was a working gal. She wouldn’t have had time to pick up a gift in return before her shift started.

Mike found her at Walgreens, talking on the phone to someone while she petted every teddy bear on the rack in front of her.

He didn’t feel sorry.

She didn’t scream when his hand found her face. He didn’t give her the chance.

  ---

He ditched the hat in the back storeroom of Walgreens and took Karen right through to the loading dock. She thrashed hard.

Mike could barely feel the movement. He was on the lookout for eyes.

An elbow found his ribs and a foot his toes before he got them far enough from view that he could let her go to readjust his grip, and when he did, he got her against a wall, panting.

This lady was tough. But in a flash, she mouth dropped open and her wrists went limp in his grip.

“Mike?” she asked after a second. “Is that you? What are you doing here? Why are you—”

“Where. Is. My brother?” Mike cut her off.

Karen recoiled until her head hit the bricks behind her.

“Your—”

“My brother Matthew,” Mike snapped.

The rush of traffic settled into the silence.

“Oh my god,” Karen whispered. “He’s your brother?”

“Yes. He is, as a matter of fact, and whatever you think you’re doing to him, I will do to you and that fucking lawyer ten times worse,” Mike said. “So you’re going to help me or I’m going to—”

“I knew I knew you.”

He felt himself go stiff.

“Matt talks like you,” Karen said softly. “Just like you.”

Wh—he did?

Karen’s fingers brushed the tops of Mike’s hands. They were cold.

“Mike,” she whispered, sounding for all the world like she was on the verge of tears, “He’s going to be so happy to see you.”

Wh—she’d—she’d take him to Matt?

“Of course,” Karen said. “He’s one of my best friends.”

They were friends? How were they friends? Was this a sick joke?

“No. It’s not. I met him years ago it’s just—I didn’t realize you were—okay, there’s just one problem,” Karen said.

 ---

 Uh?

“Sensory input! Greater than! Processing—PROCESSING—processing—”

“Matty,” Franklin Nelson said with both of his hands out in front of him. “I see that we are very excited.”

“SENSORY INPUT—”

“And I love your enthusiasm, and I know you love your enthusiasm,” Nelson continued. “But if you don’t settle down the tiniest fraction of an inch, you’re going to blow a fuse and—”

“SEN—sen-S-S-SEN—”

Uh?

“This is excited,” Karen explained while Nelson wrestled Matt into sitting for the second time since Mike had arrived at the door.

This was excited?

“He’s normally much more in tune with himself,” Karen said. “But I think you’ve jumpstarted some shit that even his additional processing power isn’t enough for.”

Additional what now?

“It’s a long story,” Karen said over the saddest sound that Mike had ever heard.

They both looked over to where Nelson had successfully gotten Matt back to sitting and was now coaching him through whatever the bot-equivalent of breathing exercises were.

“How long?” Mike asked.

Karen’s blue eyes pitied him.

 ---

 Okay, okay, okay. So. Nelson? Not a threat. Definitely a boon.

Matty?

Hng.

Heavy.

“I’ve literally never seen him this excited,” Nelson said. “And I’ve known him for seven years.”

No shit?

“No shit, we met at Columbia,” Nelson sighed. “I’m sorry about this.”

It was fine. Mike deserved this. Probably.

Jesus, what the fuck had they replaced Matt’s muscle’s with? How was he this warm and this heavy and not human all at the same time.

He’d seemed to have decided that Mike needed a full-body hug and while the first ten seconds had been cry-worthy, the last minute or so was getting a little suffocating.

“Matt, let him go,” Nelson pleaded. “He can’t breathe, bud. He’s gotta breathe, he’s not like you—”

“Subject: Mike. Michael Murdock,” Matt said brightly, scrambling off Mike out of no-fucking-where and getting way too far into Nelson’s face.

“Mike, yeah, you said,” Nelson said.

“Mike. Born October 21—”

“I get it. He’s your twin.”

“—at Metropolitan General Hospital at 11:32pm—”

“Matt,  you’re info-dumping friend, we don’t need this. We believe you. Don’t give me his social. Don’t—”

“—Social Security number 6—”

“MATT. End request. End search term. Exit page.”

Uh?

“He did this with the DA last week when he got too riled up,” Karen said sympathetically. “We have no clue where he finds it or better yet, where he even stores it.”

“—my brother, FOGGY.”

“Yeah, I fuckin’ see it, man. It’s before mine very own eyes. Y’all are identical. It’s weird.”

“I missed him.”

“Tell that to him then. Stop touching me, ew. No. Go douse him with your weird fuckin’ eye fluid—atta boy, good job—NO. NO CLIMBING.”

Mike…was not prepared for the care and keeping of Bot-Matt. He had to admit that now. All those plans of snatching Matt out of the hands of these evil, evil people were breaking up into little fragments of puzzle pieces and he’d never felt more like shit because god.

He was supposed to look after his brother, wasn’t he?

Wasn’t he?

“I’m so sorry about this,” Franklin Nelson said with Matt leaning almost completely out of his grip and making that horrible sad noise again. “But I think I’m gonna need to cool him down a bit.”

 ---

 Mike couldn’t stop rubbing at his face.

Matt was sprawled out across Nelson’s bed like he was sleeping in the sunlight. The wires plugged into the back of his neck slipped off the edge of the bed and led all the way to a laptop that was just about sweating with how hard it was working.

From the side, it looked like he was human. Absolutely, unequivocally human.

Younger than Mike now, though. Permanently halted at 24 years old. No wonder Karen hadn’t recognized Mike early on. Matty’s jaw was still slim where Mike’s had hardened square like Dad’s. The only facial hair he had was in his eyebrows and eyelashes—there was no reason to add stubble to a bot. It was just more maintenance. Just another aesthetic modification.

“I’m sorry, Mike.”

Mike turned to Nelson.

He didn’t look or talk like a single one of the bot traffickers than Mike had dragged in from the cold—and he’d done the full range of them, from the cackling madhatters to the cooing, babytalkers to the silent so-called geniuses. Nelson exhibited only exasperation.

The story that Karen told about his and her early encounters with Matt made it seem like Nelson honestly considered Matt to be human, like him. Like all of them.

“You helped him,” Mike said quietly.

“If I’d have known that he had you, then I would have helped him find you sooner,” Nelson said. “But I thought he was on his own. He never mentioned anyone else. I should have asked.”

No. No, that was—That was okay, somehow.

“We got separated a lifetime ago,” Mike said. “People thought that I’d be easier to adopt. And clearly he had other things going on.”

Nelson winced.

“That’s shit,” he said.

“And wrong,” Mike sighed. “I don’t even know what to do now. I can’t take care of him like this. I don’t know the first thing about droid maintenance or computers.”

Nelson considered him.

“Well, the good news is that you don’t have to—take care of him, I mean,” he said. “Matt takes care of himself. He’s actually really good at it when he’s not blowin’ his top about some damn thing. You’ll see when he wakes up. And on top of that, he’s already got a mechanic, so when something goes wrong that he can’t fix, we take him to Parker and he does the heavy lifting there.”

Mike swallowed.

“You guys really have it worked out,” he realized.

Nelson sighed.

“Like I said. I’ve known him for seven years. We’ve lived together ever since.”

Woah. Wait. What now?

Nelson turned exhausted eyes onto him.

“I co-signed for his loft, but he just comes and spends all his time here when he’s not out smashing faces. Claims my bed. Steals all the sun spots. Makes me only shit coffee in return.”

He—Matt—Matt had his own apartment? He could do that?

“Sure? Why not? He owns half the firm, too,” Nelson said. “I mean, they wouldn’t let me put it in his name, technically. So it’s through a wildly complicated, uh—let’s call it a ‘thing’ for simplicity’s sake. But yeah. If anything happens to me, full ownership goes to him. But as far as we’re concerned, it’s half and half. The only thing Matt can’t do is practice law on his own, so we have to double-team pretty much every case.”

Mike needed to sit down.

“Oh, for sure. Just not there. I’d recommend out of range, here. Sit here,” Nelson said.

 ---

 Matt woke up when Karen snuck around the bed to remove the wires from his neck. He scrambled up and fell right over the side of the bed onto Karen’s feet.

She swore. He groaned. Nelson pointedly did not come back into the room.

This time, though, when Matt got back up, Karen pulled him in the direction of Mike and took his wrist. She held out a hand for Mike.

Mike’s heart fluttered.

He gave it to her and Karen put his hand directly in Matt’s palm.

There was silence.

“Mikey,” Matt said after a long moment.

Mike’s eyes started burning.

“You came for me,” Matt said.

Mike couldn’t make his throat work. It took two goes to find his voice.

“Yeah,” he croaked. “I sure did.”

“You ain’t singin’, though,” Matt pointed out. “Why aren’t you singin’?”

Because he was cryin’, man. God, give a guy a break.

“Matty, what did they do to you?” he asked.

Matt made a strange sound as he mulled over the question. A kind of whirring noise.

“Made me into a droid, dumbass,” he said.

Mike laughed before he could stop himself.

“Can I have a non-lethal hug?” he asked.

Matt whirred.

“No promises,” he said.

 ----

[wistfulcynic]

The Meet-Cute, Part One

In which Ruby decides that what Emma’s love life needs is a good old-fashioned meet-cute, and sets about arranging one for her. Or two, or three, or six...whatever, she’ll set up however many it takes for her friend to meet The One. But it may turn out that Emma doesn’t need any help finding The One after all...

Rating: T Words: 5.2k (first chapter)

On AO3

-

LOOK @optomisticgirl I WROTE THE THING.

Also, @ohmightydevviepuu, @shireness-says, and @distant-rose you are complicit in the writing of the thing.

-

PART ONE:

“What you need, Emma Swan, is a meet-cute.”

Emma swallowed a sigh but couldn’t hold back the accompanying eye-roll. “I’m pretty sure that’s the last thing I need.”

“No, hear me out,” Ruby insisted, her eyes alight with excitement. “This is actually perfect for you.”

Emma let the sigh go this time, reminding herself firmly that Ruby was her best friend and had been for years.

“All right,” she said. “Tell me why I need a meet-cute.”

“Yesssss,” said Ruby. “Okay, listen. There’s nobody at work you’re interested in dating, right?”

“My co-worker is literally my brother.”

“Yeah that’s kind of what I meant. Most people meet their future spouses at work—”

“That’s not a real statistic.”

“—but—yes, it is real—but there’s no one at work for you and that’s not likely to change, so you have to look elsewhere. Now, the next most common place to meet someone is where you live—

“Seriously, you’re just making this stuff up.”

“—but there’s no one for you there, either,” Ruby pressed on, ignoring her. “No cute guys across the hall—“

“No straight ones anyway.”

“—and seeing as you are for some strange reason dead-set against online dating—”

“I absolutely am.” Emma shuddered at the hideous thought.

“—which actually does work, by the way.”

“It doesn’t. You and Mulan are just outliers.”

“Look, Emma, don’t knock the matchmaking power of Good Omens Discord chats until you try them.”

“Yeah, no thanks.”

“Well then,” Ruby declared, in a voice that suggested she thought she’d won the argument. “That leaves you with no option but the meet-cute.”

“Really, that’s my only option?”

“Just think about it, Emma.” Ruby’s eyes grew dreamy. “Adorable mix-ups in coffee shops… picking up the wrong leash at the dog park…”

“I don’t have a dog.”

“…you both reach for the last croissant…”

“Where am I going to find a croissant in Storybrooke?”

“The last bear claw then, the pastry is really beside the point.”

“And what is the point?”

“The point is that you meet someone and it’s fucking cute, okay? And then you fall in love and live happily ever after.”

“Or I could just, you know, go on as I am, not meeting anyone.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, woman,” said Ruby sternly. “Do you want to live the rest of your life alone?”

Emma shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the worst thing.” Better than being stuck with someone she didn’t love, just for some dumb reason like—

“Do you want Henry to grow up without a father?”  

—like giving her son a decent man in his life.

“Henry has a father,” she reminded Ruby. One he hadn’t seen for the best part of a year, but still.  

“Do you want Henry to grow up without a father figure who isn’t a massive douche?” amended Ruby. Emma sighed again.

“Neal does the best he can,” she insisted.

Ruby snorted. “Sure he does.”

“He does, really. He’s just… not cut out to be a parent.”

“Well, that’s for sure.”

But Emma didn’t blame Neal for being a shit dad, though she knew her friends and family did. It wasn’t his fault it was hers, for stupidly falling for and getting knocked up by a guy whose ‘best’ was showing up once or twice a year to shower Henry with presents and promises before disappearing again without a word a few weeks later. At first it had broken both their hearts—Henry’s from disappointment and Emma’s from anger and guilt over his disappointment—but Henry was twelve now and starting to learn that the parents he adored were human and flawed, and to adjust his expectations accordingly. Emma had to admit that it was a relief not to have to cover Neal’s ass anymore by trying to make excuses for him, however deeply she regretted Henry’s loss of innocence.

And yeah, it would be nice not to have to raise her kid alone. Neal got to be the fun parent, buying Henry all the stuff she couldn’t afford and taking him on trips to exciting places, leaving Emma to enforce bedtimes and check homework and try to make Henry eat the vegetables she herself hated. Having someone else around, a real adult she could rely on to share those responsibilities with her, that would be good. Great, really. Wonderful, in fact. But dating was hard enough without having to start it off by explaining that even though you yourself weren’t yet thirty you came in a two-for-one deal with a near-teenager, and Emma had had far too many first dates end early and awkwardly to hold out much hope that she would ever meet the man of her dreams, be it cute or any other way.

“I appreciate the thought, Rubes, I really do,” she said. “But I’m just not looking for anyone right now.”

“But don’t you see?” Ruby cried. “That’s the best time to meet someone—when you’re not looking.”

Emma threw up her hands. “You are impossible and I’m not talking about this with you anymore. I’ve got to get back to work anyway.”

“All right.” Ruby shrugged and let the subject drop, but the glint that still remained in her eye warned Emma that this wasn’t over—not by a long shot.

—

Before she returned to work after her lunch with Ruby, Emma stopped by the library. Belle wasn’t at her usual spot behind the desk so Emma ventured into the stacks on her own, in search of some books that would help Henry with his school project on the solar system. She was standing in the astronomy section with her hands shoved into the back pockets of her jeans, frowning at the frankly baffling array of options when a voice spoke just to her left.

“Can I help you find something?” it said.

Emma turned with a smile that stalled abruptly as her mouth dropped open. “Um,” she said, blinking in confusion at the blue eyes and dark hair that very definitely did not belong to Belle, and the bright smile that took her breath away. “I actually could use some help, but—sorry, but do you work here?”

The owner of the voice—and the hair and the eyes—laughed. “I do, for the moment at least.”

“Did something happen to Belle?”

“To her grandfather, apparently,” he replied. “I’m not sure of the details but Belle told me she had to go back to Australia for family reasons.”

“Oh. I didn’t hear anything about that.”

The man’s eyebrow twitched in a small frown. “Well, it was quite at the last minute, so she probably didn’t have time to tell everyone. But I’d spoken to her recently and mentioned I was looking for a quiet place to spend a few weeks’ holiday and so when she asked if I could come here and cover for her for a while, I gladly agreed.”

“And why would she call you?” Emma nearly flinched at the harshness in her tone but the man’s smile widened and his eyes twinkled, sucking even more air from her lungs.

“We’re old friends from library school,” he explained, as Emma struggled for breath. “My name’s Killian Jones.”

His smile began to crumble as Emma just stood and stared at him, until she managed to shake herself out of her breathless haze and smile back. “Emma  Swan,” she said. “I’m the town sheriff.”

“Ah.” Killian’s grin brightened again, and Emma thought vaguely that he should really have a licence for that thing. “That explains all the questions.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. We don’t get many new faces in Storybrooke and, well—”

“Aye, of course, you can’t be too careful.”

“Um, right. Exactly.”

“Well, Sheriff Swan,” said Killian, with an absurd little waggle of his eyebrows, “I can assure you that haven’t broken any laws, but then I did only arrive in town last night so there’s still plenty of time.”

Emma laughed. She couldn’t help it, his goofy humour and ridiculous eyebrows were too charming. “But if you broke the law I’d have to lock you up,” she replied, and fucking hell was she flirting with him?

He seemed to think so, if the way his eyes glinted as he leaned in closer was any indication. “I might not mind being locked up, if you promised to stay and guard me,” he murmured.

Emma’s breath caught again at the look in his eyes, the edge of danger behind the flirty charm. “Do you talk like this to all library patrons?” she asked, cursing the raspiness in her voice.

“Definitely not. It’s highly unprofessional, but then there’s not much else I can say when you still haven’t answered my question.”

She swallowed hard. “Wh—what question?”

“Can I help you find anything?”

“Oh.” Duh, Emma. “Um, yeah, actually. My son has to do a project on the solar system, so I’m looking for some books he could use.”

She waited for Killian to freeze up, to awkwardly withdraw from her now that he knew she had a kid. But he simply nodded and asked “How old is your lad?”

“Ah, he’s twelve. Sixth grade.”

“Hmmm, in that case I’d recommend this one.” He reached over her shoulder to take a book from the shelf, giving Emma a whiff of some spicy cologne and a briny scent like he’d been out on the sea. Her knees went weak, and when he held out the book she stared blankly at it, trying to marshal her scrambled thoughts back into some kind of order. “It’s an excellent overview of the solar system with plenty of details on all the planets,” Killian explained, “but the language is accessible for someone your boy’s age.” His eyebrows rose again in an expectant look.

“Um. That looks great, thanks.”

“See how he gets on with it, and if he needs more information I’d be happy to make another recommendation.”  

Emma nodded and followed him to the check-out desk, wordlessly handing him her card and watching as he completed the process of checking out the book. When he finished he tucked a bookmark between the pages and handed it to her with another warm smile.

“Well, Emma Swan, it’s been lovely talking to you,” he said. “I hope it won’t be a one-time thing.”

“I—I’m in here a lot,” she replied. It was only a slight exaggeration. Henry was in the library a lot and she often came to pick him up. “So I’m sure I’ll see you again.”

For the third time in fifteen minutes Killian Jones stole her breath with his smile. “I’m looking forward to it already,” he said.

—

The next morning Emma was at Granny’s waiting in line for coffee when out of nowhere someone gave her a hard shove, knocking her into the man in front of her, who had just accepted his cup from Ruby.

“Oh my God!” she cried. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened!”

“It’s okay,” said the man with a tight smile, shaking droplets of coffee off his hand as Ruby’s eyes grew comically wide.

“Oh, no,” she said. “What a terrible accident. Let me get you another cup, sir.”

“Thanks,” said the man, and Emma’s own eyes nearly rolled clean from her head. Ruby was known for her lack of subtlety but this was ridiculous, even for her. Emma glanced over her shoulder just in time to spot the tip of Mulan’s braid just disappearing through the door.

“So,” the man was saying to Ruby when Emma returned her attention to him, leaning on the counter and giving her a crooked grin. “You come here often?”

“Every day,” said Ruby dryly. “I work here. But maybe you’d like to ask Emma that question.”

The man’s pale blue eyes flitted to Emma, then rapidly away. “I’d rather ask you.”

Ruby gave a frustrated huff. “Here’s your coffee.” She thrust the new cup at the man and turned her back.

“What’s her problem?” the man muttered.

“I don’t know,” snapped Emma, “maybe you should ask her wife.” The man’s eyes widened in alarm at the look on her face and he backed away, slowly edging towards the door.

“Have a great day,” she called after him, then turned to her best friend as the man fled the diner.

“I hope you’re happy,” she hissed.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Ruby asked, the picture of innocence. Emma rolled her eyes.

“I’m guessing this was your attempt at a coffee shop meet-cute? I spill the man’s coffee, apologise profusely, he laughs it off. I offer to buy him another cup, he refuses but asks me to dinner instead? Was that the idea?”

“...maybe.”

“And you see how well it turned out?”

“He was clearly just not The One,” said Ruby stubbornly.

“There is no ‘The One’ Rubes, that is a myth, and I cannot believe you roped Mulan into this nonsense too.”

“I didn’t rope her in, she volunteered! We both want you to be happy, Emma.”

“And you think dumping coffee on the world’s creepiest doctor will make me happy?”

“What? Have you met him before?”

“Yeah. Last year when Henry broke his arm. You’ll be pleased to hear that he tried to hit on me then. Right in front of my kid.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. Meet-cutes only work in romcoms and fanfics, Ruby. Here in reality they just piss people off.”

“Well,” said Ruby, handing Emma her coffee, determination clear in the set of her jaw. “We’ll see about that.”

—

Emma: What do you want for dinner?

Henry: What have we got?

Emma: Nothing, that’s why I’m asking. I can stop at the store on the way home.

Henry: I suppose pizza isn’t an option?

Emma: We had that yesterday.

Henry: Not a problem for me. But chicken or something would be okay too.

Emma: One of those rotisserie chickens?

Henry: Yeah, sounds good.

Emma: Okay, kid. See you at home.

Emma was standing in the grocery store, frowning as she compared the rotisserie chickens when a voice spoke just to her left.

“I don’t think there’s much of a difference between them, love.”

Her heart leapt and her skin tingled, and yet when she turned to face Killian Jones—and his damned smile—she was still not prepared.

“Hi,” she said breathlessly. “I, um, didn’t expect to see you here.”

“No reason why you should, I guess, except that I like all people do need to eat from time to time.”

“Of course.” She felt foolish, but his expression was warm and only slightly teasing.

“How did your son get on with the book?” he asked.

“Really well! He read for like two hours last night. Thanks for the recommendation.”

“Any time.”

They stood grinning at each other until someone behind them cleared his throat and they both gave a little start. Killian rubbed the back of his neck as he moved aside to allow Mr Clark to select a chicken.

“So, um,” said Emma after he’d left. “Are you getting stuff for dinner?”

“Aye. I’m staying in the apartment above the library and this morning I discovered that the oven doesn’t work, and the repairman can't come until tomorrow. So I need something that comes pre-cooked. Hence rotisserie chicken.”

“Solid plan,” said Emma, though she felt sad thinking of this lovely man eating dinner alone in that tiny apartment, and that was the only reason that she blurted out “But, ah, why don’t you come over and eat with Henry and me?”

“Oh.” Killian blinked in surprise.

“Since we’re both having the same thing it makes sense not to waste a chicken,” Emma barrelled on. “When Henry and I get one we’ve always got leftovers, so… I mean, you don’t have to if you’d rather not—”

“No, no. I mean, yes! Yes, I’d like that.”

“Oh. Um, good.”

He smiled again, bright as always but with a hint of shyness that caught her off guard. “Is it, ah, just the two of you?” he asked. “Presuming Henry is your son, that is?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “His dad’s, um... not in the picture.”

“I see. Well then I would love to share a meal with you, Emma Swan. And your son. And perhaps you would allow me to bring dessert?”

Emma’s heart was pounding so loudly now she was sure he must be able to hear it. “That’d be great. Um, here’s my cell number, just at the bottom of this.” She took a business card from her pocket and handed it to him. “Text me and I’ll send you directions to our place. Can you come over about six?”

“Six it is.” Killian slipped the card into his own pocket carefully, as though he didn’t wish to harm it. “I’ll see you then.”

—

Emma finished the rest of her shopping in a daze, wandering haphazardly through the aisles and putting random things in her cart without thinking before giving herself a mental slap and a stern admonition to get a fucking grip. She removed the strawberry syrup from her cart (she and Henry both hated fake strawberry flavour) and the tuna (what the hell had she been thinking?) and then remembered that Henry was nearly out of peanut butter. His favourite kind was the most popular one and the store could hardly keep it stocked, so she was pleased to see that there was one jar left as she approached the shelf. Just as she was reaching for it, though, another hand appeared and snatched it from her grip.

“Hey!” she cried indignantly. “That was mine!”

“Sorry,” said the man who’d taken it. He didn’t look sorry in the slightest. “Maybe they’ve got more in the back?”

“Are you kidding me?” Emma huffed.

“Nope,” the man replied. “Look, I really am sorry but someone needs this peanut butter. She sent me in here to get it specifically.”

Emma hissed her breath out through her teeth. “She did, did she? And did she say why she couldn’t get the damn peanut butter herself?”

“Ah, no,” said the man, frowning warily at her. “She didn’t. But listen, lady it’s just a jar of peanut butter.”

Emma’s lip curled into a snarl and the man’s eyes widened in alarm. He backed away from her, nearly stumbling in his haste. “So, um, I’m going to, ah, go now,” he stuttered. “Bye.”

He turned and fled towards the checkouts with Emma close on his heels. She followed him to the self-checkout line where he kept shooting nervous looks over his shoulder at her and she amused herself by giving him darker and darker glares each time and keeping her eyes fixed on him when he took the jar of peanut butter and ran out the door.

When she arrived at where she’d left her car Emma was entirely unsurprised to find Ruby there, leaning against the hood and looking slightly sheepish.

“So what was the plan this time?” asked Emma. “That we would both reach for the last jar of peanut butter, our fingers would touch, sparks would fly, and we would exchange cute banter with sexually charged undertones ending in a date?”

Ruby nodded. “Something like that.”

“Ruby, I keep telling you, that is not how real life works!”

“Oh yeah?” Ruby challenged. “Well, what about David and Mary Margaret! They had a meet-cute.”

“He mistook her for a burglar and she hit him in the face!”

“Exactly!”

“How is that a meet-cute?”

“How is it not? They met, it was cute, and now they’ve got an amazing story to tell their kids.”

“I met Neal when I tried to steal the car he’d already stolen,” Emma pointed out. “That’s an amazing story and yet our relationship was a fucking dumpster fire that I’d be happy to forget all about if it weren’t for Henry. Not all cute meetings end in happily ever after, and frankly I don’t think a squabble over peanut butter in a small town grocery store is the best way to jump-start true love.”

“And what would you know about true love?” Ruby snapped, then gasped in horror as her eyes went wide and she clapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, Emma, I’m so sorry,” she whispered through her fingers. “I didn’t mean it.”

Emma’s chest felt tight. “It’s okay,” she muttered.  

“No, it really isn’t.” Ruby gripped Emma’s hands in hers. “I love you, Ems, and you’re one of the most loving people I know. That’s why I want so badly to see you happy.”

“I know.” Emma nodded and gave Ruby’s hands a squeeze. “I know you didn’t mean to say it.” However true it might be, she thought bitterly.

“Let me make it up to you—”

“Oh my God, please don’t—”

“—with this free jar of peanut butter!” finished Ruby triumphantly. She reached into her bag and removed the jar, offering it up with a flourish.

Emma smiled as she took it. “Thanks. I wasn’t looking forward to telling Henry how someone stole the last jar right out from under me.”

Ruby flashed a grin, then turned solemn. “Are we okay, Emma?” she asked hesitantly. “Truly?”

“Of course we are,” Emma reassured her. “Truly. I do have to get going though I have—uh, Henry will be getting hungry.”

“Of course.” Ruby stepped back to let Emma unlock her car door. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see you.”

As Emma drove home she tried not to think about why she hadn’t told Ruby that Killian was coming for dinner. It might stop her friend’s meet-cute-ing attempts if she knew Emma had a—well, not a date exactly but a man coming over to... well, just to eat really, but still. She could have spun it so it seemed like a date and got Ruby off her back, at least for a while. Yet for some reason Emma wanted to keep Killian just for herself. At least for a while.

—

Killian Jones was punctual and he could follow directions, Emma thought when her doorbell rang that evening at six o’clock precisely. That alone put him head and shoulders above Neal... and what the hell was she doing comparing a man she’d literally met yesterday with her son’s useless father, even just in the privacy of her own head?

She smoothed her hair and the front of her blouse and took a deep breath to calm herself before opening the door, and still she was not prepared for that stupid, gorgeous smile.

“Good evening, Swan,” Killian greeted her. “I come bearing brownies.”

And wine, she couldn’t help noticing as she stepped back to let him in. “Great, uh, brownies are my favourite,” she lied. “Um, Killian, I’d like you to meet my son, Henry.”

Henry came forward with smile on his lips and mild confusion in his eyes. “Hi Killian, nice to meet you.”

“And you, lad. I hope you like brownies as well.”

“I love them,” Henry replied. “Though my mom usually prefers—” he broke off when Emma gave him a Look. “Ah, she prefers hers without nuts.”

“Well, she’s in luck because these are nut-free.”

“Sounds perfect!” said Henry brightly, and Emma didn’t think she’d ever loved him more.

“Let me just take those from you,” she said, relieving Killian of the box of brownies and bottle of wine. “Henry, can you show him into the living room? Oh, and Killian what would you like to drink?”

“Whatever’s easiest, love.”

“Water, soda, beer?”

“Beer would be great.”

“Coming right up.”

Emma fled to the kitchen, doing her best not to look like she was fleeing. Once safety through the door she set the brownies and wine on the counter and desperately drew air into her lungs. She wasn’t going to survive spending much more time with Killian if she didn’t learn to breathe around him, she thought wryly, and also why was she even thinking about spending more time with him—this was nothing but a casual, friendly meal and they had only just met.

“Get a fucking grip, Emma,” she reminded herself firmly, and went to pour some beer.

When she entered the living room a few minutes later Killian and Henry were sitting next to each other on the sofa, deep in discussion about the solar system. Henry had his project notes spread out on the coffee table and Killian was rubbing his chin, listening intently as her son spoke, and Emma’s heart absolutely did not melt at the sight of them. It didn’t.

She set a glass of soda in front of Henry and a beer in front of Killian, who looked up at her with a smile.

“Thanks, love.”

Aaaand there went her breath again, thought Emma. Damn it.

“Ah, I’m just going to go finish up dinner, um, if everything’s okay in here?” she said.

“Aye, I think we’ll be all right.”

“Mom, guess what? Killian knows all about astronomy and he’s going to help me make sure my project’s good!” Henry exclaimed.

“All about astronomy, eh?” teased Emma.

To her astonishment Killian’s cheeks and the tips of his ears turned pink. “A slight exaggeration on the lad’s part,” he said, scratching at a spot just below his ear. “But it is an interest of mine and I’ll do my best to be of some use to him.”

“He’s already helped me with Saturn’s moons, and now we’re gonna talk about the rings on Uranus,” said Henry excitedly. “Did you know Uranus has rings, Mom?”

“I did not,” said Emma, biting her lip as amusement glinted in Killian’s eyes.

“Yep,” Henry continued, oblivious to their mirth. “Just skinny ones, though.”

“I suppose bigger ones wouldn’t fit,” said Emma. A muscle danced in Killian’s jaw as he clenched it tight. Henry frowned.

“Uranus is still pretty big,” he said. “Not as big as Jupiter or Saturn but—hey! Are you guys laughing at Uranus?”

“Of course not, lad,” said Killian. “Uranus isn’t funny at all.”

“It’s very serious actually,” said Emma.

“I certainly take it seriously,” Killian agreed.

Henry glared at them. “You guys realise I’m the twelve-year-old boy, right? If anyone should be making Uranus jokes it’s me.”

“Well you have been letting some excellent joke opportunities slip by you, my boy.”

“Yeah, Henry, we’re just picking up your slack.”

“Much like rings on Uranus might.”

“Oh my God,” Henry groaned, as Emma lost control of her laughter and collapsed onto the sofa. Killian was grinning like a maniac, ridiculously pleased with himself, which only made her laugh harder. Henry held out for nearly a full minute before he started giggling too, then all three of them held their stomachs and roared.

—

Their fit of shared hilarity helped Emma relax, and the dinner ended up being one of the best evenings she’d had in a long time. Killian, as it turned out, had spent several years in the navy before he became a librarian. He had hundreds of stories about his adventures in far-off lands and seemingly endless patience for inquisitive twelve-year-olds who wanted to hear every single one.

Emma sat and ate and listened as Killian regaled her son with his tales, and tried not to think too hard about how simply nice this was. Like the sort of pleasant family meal she’d always dreamed of as a child and regretted that she couldn’t give Henry, and she really needed to stop thinking about Killian like he was an actual part of her life when she’d barely known him for a day. She knew better than that. From bitter experience.

And yet. Killian’s kindness to and interest in Henry was genuine, she was sure of it. There was no hint in his words or actions to suggest that he was trying to use her kid to get to her, or that he was only pretending to care about Henry’s project. Her superpower didn’t even twitch. Every instinct Emma had was screaming that the most sinister thing about Killian Jones was how dangerously attractive she found him. He was just a nice man who knew how to talk to children. A nice, insanely hot man with the prettiest eyes she’d ever seen and a smile that stole all the air from her lungs, who not only didn’t run when he found out about her kid but actually liked him.

Fuck, she thought, as Killian caught her eye and gave her a little half-smile that had her gasping for air. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

—

“Well, thank you for a lovely evening, Swan.” Killian’s hand was on the doorknob but he seemed in no great hurry to leave, and she was equally not eager to see him go. “I had a wonderful time.”

“Me too. And thanks for being so nice to Henry.”

“Your boy is a delight, it was no hardship.”

“Still. It meant a lot to him.” She didn’t mention Neal and Killian didn’t ask, but she had the strangest feeling that they both wished they could.

You only just met him, damn it!

“It was my pleasure,” said Killian, and the way his voice went gruff on the word pleasure set her heart racing and heat blooming across her skin, and when his breath caught and his gaze dropped to her lips she had to force herself to remember that this wasn’t a date and she didn’t actually know this man. But she could tell from the rasp in his throat and the flush on his cheeks that he was feeling the same things she was, that he wanted the same things just as badly, and it would be easy, so easy just to lean in and press her lips to his—

Too easy, and far too risky. Emma gulped and stepped back as Killian gave a shaky exhale, closing his eyes as his Adam’s apple bobbed and Emma shoved her hands hard into her jeans pockets. He opened his eyes and then the door and gave her a brief smile before stepping into the hallway. Emma dug her fingers into her legs and firmly squashed the tiny part of her that wanted to beg him to stay.

“Well, ah, thanks for coming,” she said. “I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Aye.” He took two steps then stopped and turned back. “Er, perhaps next time you might allow me to provide the meal?” he said hesitantly. “Just for you?”

“Um. What?” said Emma, then immediately wanted to kick herself.

Killian’s nervous expression softened. “Well you see, as much as I enjoyed Henry’s company this evening, I’d very much like to take you out, Emma,” he said. “Just the two of us. On a date.”

“Oh. Really?”

“Aye, really. On Friday, perhaps, if you’re free?”

“Ah, yeah, I can be,” she replied, trying not to sound too eager. “I’ll have to see if I can get someone to watch Henry, but… yeah. I’d like that.”

That breath-stealing smile broke across his face as she knew it would, and yet she still wasn’t ready for it. “It’s a date, then,” he said. “I’ll pick you up at seven. Wear something warm.”

“Uh.. okay.”

“And love, if you can’t find someone to look after Henry at such short notice I’d still like to spend the evening with you.” Killian’s face was earnest now. “With both of you, I mean. We’ll just postpone our date until a more convenient time.”

A lump rose in Emma’s throat and for a moment she thought she might cry. “I—that’d be good too. I’ll let you know.”

He nodded. “Good night, then, Swan.”

“Good night.”

—

@katie-dub @thisonesatellite @spartanguard @kmomof4 @stahlop @mariakov81 @teamhook in case you’re interested :)

[bigskydreaming]

Do you have any character in any fandom that you hate so much or a character who bothers you so much that you can't look at any media without getting annoyed/ upset? Not like villain character, a normal or even fandom fave character, someone most others won't find anything wrong with but your guts hate them, that kind?

I mean, the most obvious example of this for me is definitely Stiles in Teen Wolf lol. I know that a lot of people didn’t start disliking him until later seasons but I just flat out never liked him from the get go, and like....it built and grew due to a lot of fandom attitudes towards the character?

Because like......I just do not enjoy characters who constantly seem to be making digs at or undercutting their supposed friends or family, the way Stiles was with Scott from the very pilot. Its like yeah great, I can absolutely see and recognize all the times he was there for him and did in fact do good friendship type stuff, but the problem for me lies in the way fandom tends to make that TRANSACTIONAL with the stuff I had a problem with where its almost like, well, see, since Stiles tried so hard to save Scott in this one episode Motel California, he GETS to casually insult and demoralize him all the rest of the time, and holy shit no that’s not how that works, y’know? (Especially because Scott’s shitty self-esteem was the bad guy’s way in for almost killing him in Motel California, and gee what connection could there be between shitty self-esteem and constantly being belittled and talked down to by your literal best friend in the whole world BUT I DIGRESS).

And a lot of people over the years have been like, okay but friends tease each other and give each other shit all the time, are you saying they’re all bad for doing so? And no, I’m not, but the thing people tend to gloss over here is the key phrase “each other.”

Because its one thing when you have friendships like this. Its another thing when those friendships flow entirely one way in this specific regard.

When one character is not only ‘allowed to’ but almost EXPECTED to take pot shots at their friend at every available opportunity, but any single time the other friend does the same, no matter how playfully, its fixated upon as being mean and unfriendly, like...THAT is the problem.

And while I don’t have a specific single character that answers your question here in terms of Batfandom, the exact same phenomenon rears its head there and I holy hell object to that too, lol.

Like, we see it SO often with how Dick’s brothers are habitually characterized as mocking his relationship with Bruce, work ethic, standards, jobs, apartment, fashion choices, cooking, NAME......with it just taken for granted that there’s nothing wrong with them all calling him Dickhead or saying he’s ‘really lived up to his namesake’ practically once a fic, if not once a chapter......

And again, the common refrain is “well siblings are just like that?”

And they’re not actually, is the thing. I mean, I grew up with siblings too, and YES we gave each other shit all the time, but again its that exact same key phrase: EACH OTHER.

Like in comparison to the above, how often do people read fic where Dick casually insults his brothers every time he meets up with them, or makes snide, backhanded offensive references to their own parents or memories/reminders of them, or insults their standards not even as a point of specific conflict, but just as a casual, generic expression of contempt?

Its not a two-way street there either at ALL, and THAT’S the issue.

(Also similar to the example I outlined with Motel California, a lot of people write stuff about Dick having shitty self-esteem, but again like.....when you pair this as hand in hand with Dick regularly being insulted and talked down to by his own family, who never ever seem to have anything good to say to him or about him until AFTER he has some kind of breakdown, its like......where do you think shitty self-esteem so often comes from?)

Like, I’ve had people tag fic/drabble posts where I have Dick engaging in what to my estimation is the equivalent of gently teasing Jason or Tim.....and people tag these with “I feel funny about this because Dick seems kinda mean to his brothers here”.....and then nine out of ten times, if I go onto their blog, within a PAGE or two, I see some post where Jason and Tim are calling Dick a Dickhead or mocking his intelligence with NO sign of funny feelings from that person and its like......its not the criticism I mind, lol, its that uh, one of these things (standards of behavior applied to each character) are not like the others.

Because a lot of times when pressed on this subject, people will respond with “well it wouldn’t be in character/Dick or Scott are too nice for that to be their sense of humor” and again its just kinda glossed over that uh, this is basically a tacit admission that the characterization you’re going with for everyone else is ‘not that nice, actually.’ BUT any time people call this specific kind of behavior out when these characters do it, THEN the response is not “well yeah, you’re right, its not that nice actually,” its a defensive “well okay but that’s just how these characters are, are you saying they’re assholes?”

And its like well no, actually you basically were the ones who said they were assholes when you made this a core part of their characterization, and now you’re using this weird kinda circular logic to loophole your way out of them being actually held up and acknowledged as such WHEN they’re characterized this way. 

If these specific other characters never get to retaliate or return fire BECAUSE they’re too nice, then there should be no problem acknowledging that when the characters who DO engage in this behavior are actively engaging in it.....they’re being assholes, and no, its just how friends/siblings are is not actually a defensive/deviation from this if their targeted friend/sibling is never actually able to do the same without being held up specifically as stepping outside the territory of “being nice.”

Few things bug me more in terms of basic character interactions/dynamics then the tendency fandom has of building up certain characters as having free reign with how they treat other characters, while simultaneously limiting these other characters from any kind of equivalent spectrum of behavior by using their own positive traits AGAINST THEM.....but with fandom at the same time being willing to full on go to war in defense of the first kind of characters if anyone draws any kind of connecting dots between their examples of frankly asshole-ish behavior and the implication that they might, in fact, be not that awesome as a result.

Its this annoying sleight of hand wherein certain characters can do or say anything without it being a reflection on who they are character-wise, while other characters step the SLIGHTEST toe out of the line that fandom has drawn for their character and how they’re EXPECTED to behave at all times in order to avoid active criticism.....and this then absolutely is an indication of how they’re actually flawed and gross and even abusive, because of how not nice what they’re doing is, and if people want them to NOT be perceived that way, they need to go back to characterizing them or focusing their characterization of them on all the times/ways in which they just placidly accept whatever’s dished out without any kind of reciprocation.

So yeah, Stiles was always a big example of this for me, but it was far from limited to just him. Any time a fandom is like “these characters can make fun of this character or be super critical of them but this character is never ever allowed to do the same in return, that’s against the law,” I’m like yeah no, that’s a swing and a miss for me. Hard pass on those particular fandom faves....at least so long as their fandom fave status seems to go hand in hand with their ability to inflict maximum psychic damage upon their alleged loved one any time they’re feeling down or are just in a mood, all while facing zero consequences for it....even in the simple form of their targeted ‘loved one’ ever simply being like yeah I just choose to not want to be around you when you’re being assholes to me/if you’re going to just be an asshole to me.

[vintagedaydreams]

TLNRS Mini Reboot Take 2

               Here is the second one! Hope you enjoy it? Again, not edited, nor proofread, so it may suck, you’ve been warned, enter at your own risk, etc.

@kettnerjanea @katsav17 @imyourapocalypse @bethanymccauley @whirlpoolsink @rasberryfon-fon

                 Volterra, Italy. A walled city in the middle of Italy, you know, the country that's on the opposite continent of America? Yes, that Volterra, Italy. A place you'd never been to in your life.

               And yet, here you were. With the Cullen family and your mate. Your mate that you didn't know was your mate and who you actually thought was already happily mated to another. Another vampire. Your mate, Carlisle and Esme, his apparent not-mate vampire friend.

               Can you say homewrecker? Ever since you found out that Carlisle was your mate and not Esme's, (the woman who had treated you like another daughter since the day Bella dragged your human self over to their house), you'd been practicing that word. Homewrecker. Homewrecker. Homewrecker.

               Carlisle was a great guy...er, vampire, and let’s be honest, he was not only gorgeous, but kind, compassionate, caring, sweet, gentle, remember mentioning gorgeous?, but, he'd been taken! And quite happily for quite some time.

               Then you walk in, unprepared and unawares and suddenly, BAM!, no more 'I love you, Esme'. Did you ever feel like a heel, or what?

               To make matters worse, assuming they could get worse, you all had been summoned to Volterra. For multiple reasons. Apparently you and Bella being human still was something of a problem and because Carlisle and Esme had marked each other as mates, even though they weren't "true mates", Carlisle was going to be punished. Supposedly, since you were his mate yet he'd marked another and been marked in return, you were the one slighted.

               Quite frankly, you felt as if you should be the one getting punished. You'd just destroyed his and Esme's relationship that they'd had for like...decades!

               What if you didn't want to be the horrible human being who tore people apart?

               A gentle hand on your elbow startled you out of your thoughts and you turned to see Carlisle, looking down at you in concern.

               "There is nothing for you to be worried about, Y/N," he said quietly, with a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. You'd seen a lot of that recently. The mating pull, as Edward had explained to you, was in effect, making Carlisle super protective, possessive and worried about you.

               Which was pretty much a dream come true. Who didn’t want a handsome, sensitive, intelligent and caring man fawning over and providing for them?

               But you could see that he wasn't happy about it. He was no longer quite the care-free doctor you’d first met. Now, there was more of a stoop to his shoulders and it weighed heavy on your own heart to know that your mate wasn't content with you. That your mate was actually miserable being with you.

               Apparently this 'mating pull' went both ways. Which was super.

               The doors before you were suddenly opened and you were all beckoned into the throne room. You walked in beside Carlisle with Esme, Edward and Bella directly behind. You would rather have been just about anywhere other than here under these circumstances.

               Maybe you could just die? Cue mental snort. Okay, so that sounded a bit melodramatic. But...everything would go back to normal then, right? Esme, (whom you'd briefly started to think of as another mother), would get Carlisle back and Carlisle...well, he didn't seem too sold on this whole, 'You’re his mate' thing, so it probably wouldn't be that hard for him to bounce back. Bella would understand since she'd already tried dying multiple times for her loved ones and the rest of the Cullen family weren't incredibly happy with you for stealing their dad away from their mom.... This could work. 'Course, you'd have to make sure Carlisle wouldn't get punished again, but if you made it look like an accident and not that you’d actually died because of this whole mating thing, then he couldn't get into any trouble for it!

               You started to think of all the ways it could happen. Your family hadn't spoken to you since you moved to Forks almost four months ago, so they'd be fine. Stuff like this happens all the time. Well, not the whole 'suicide so your mate and his family can be happy like they were before you showed up', but accidents did happen all the time...

               A low noise brought you out of your thoughts and you looked around, a bit startled at the...growl?...that you could hear. Glancing over at Carlisle, you saw him looking back at Edward in confusion and worry.

               Curiosity peaked, you also turned to look at Eddie and your eyes widened in surprise. He was the one growling and he was....glaring at you? With a dangerous glint to his coal black eyes. You could've sworn they were gold when everyone stepped off the plane. His hunger couldn't be that severe- it’s not like half an hour would suddenly make him ravenous. Besides, all the veggie vamps fed before they boarded the jet to Italy.

               So what the hell was his problem?

               "Edward?" Carlisle asked quietly, his hand once again taking residence on your elbow. Pulling gently, the golden eyed doctor drew your closer to him.

               You had to will yourself not to melt into him. He was only doing this because of the mating pull. He really loved Esme, not you. And soon, he'd be free to love her again.

               Edward's growling suddenly grew louder.

               Your eyes widened and all the blood rushed from your face. Well shit. This whole mind reading thing was a serious pain the ass.

               Putting on your own scowl and matching glare, you turned further to face Edward.

               "Would you get out of my head already?" you demanded. And preferably not tell anyone what you heard since it's really none of your bloody business in the first place, you continued mentally.

               Bella was lucky she had some sort of mental block; what happened to privacy and common decency?!

               "Edward?" Carlisle asked again and when Edward didn't answer, only kept growling, Carlisle turned to you. "Y/N? What's the matter?"

               You turned away from Edward and back to the thrones in front of your procession where the three Volturi kings were seated and staring at you. Really. Floor, just open up and swallow you now.

               "Nothing," you muttered to the doctor. "Eddie just needs to learn personal boundaries." The Carlisle you had met before he'd realized the mating pull would've still been concerned, but dropped the subject since you obviously didn't want to talk about it.

               This new Carlisle who was forced to play dutiful mate, frowned and drew you into his side tighter before asking, "What were you thinking to make him growl like this?"

               You tensed and gave the poor guy a fake, sweet smile.  “If I wanted any of you to know, I wouldn't have thought it, I would've said it out loud."

               You internally winced at how…bitchy that sounded, how cold, but you had to distance yourself and fast. This was the first time that Carlisle had really initiated any sort of contact, especially any type of comfort and it was really starting to mess with you.

                You’d always been drawn to Carlisle, from the beginning, and this forced possessive and protective side to him was beginning to wear you down. If you weren’t careful, you really would be a homewrecker. Right now, you were trying your hardest to respect his wishes and not fall prey to the Pull. But as soon as you let it get to you, you would truly be the monster they all thought you were.

               All you wanted was for him to be happy. Even if it wasn't with you.

               Edward's growls suddenly died off and you gave a small smile, thinking he'd finally seen reason with your line of thinking and this was over.

               Boy, were you wrong.

               Aro had cleared his throat, focusing the attention on him.

               "A very spirited mate you have there, dear friend," was the first thing out of the vampire king's mouth. Carlisle gave a small smile. That once again was a shadow of his former smiles.

               "Thank you, Aro. She will certainly keep me on my toes."

               You mentally snorted again. Sure. But not for much longer.

               Aro suddenly stood and glided down to the group, stopping a few feet away. "My dear friend, I regret having to do this particular ceremony with you, but as is part of our laws and customs, it must be done."

               Carlisle inclined his head. "I understand, Aro. And I appreciate your sentiments on the matter."

               You felt your throat start to close up at the thought of Carlisle's punishment, whatever it would be, just because he marked and was marked in return by the women he loves. How was that fair?

               Your attention was suddenly diverted back to Aro as he took a few steps forward to stand in front of you.

               "My dear, if you would step up next to me?" he asked, holding out a hand. You'd heard about Aro's gift and mentally cursed. Great. All your ideas that you hadn't even finished yet, would be heard by yet another mind reader. But maybe there was a way to block certain thoughts? Edward had told Bella and yourself that Aro could hear every thought you'd ever had. Past tense. So maybe if you continued thinking your plans, they wouldn't be able to be seen...?

               It was worth a try. Not like it would hurt anything. If it failed, well, he would be able to see anything either way.

               So, with a deep breath, and more low growls from Edward, you stepped forward, placing your hand in Aro's.

               Surprisingly gentle, the vampire king pulled your away from the half of the Cullen coven and up towards the thrones. You had made it to the base of the stairs leading up to the other two kings when Aro suddenly stopped dead in his tracks, (no pun intended), and swiftly turned to stare at you.

               Because that wasn’t intimidating at all.

               Judging by the now tense atmosphere in the room, apparently this wasn't part of the normal proceedings.

               "Brother?" one of the kings, Marcus perhaps?, asked in a quiet voice. Still staring unblinking at you, Aro didn't answer for a moment.

               "Aro?" Carlisle asked, worry prominent in his voice. You tried to smother the wince that crossed your face, couldn’t you do anything right?, but judging by Aro's suddenly sharper gaze, you were pretty sure you failed. Apparently, he'd also read all your thoughts from just a little while ago, so change that fail to an Epic Fail.

               When did your life turn into this? Who did you piss off in a past life to deserve this?

               "Brother," Aro suddenly asked, seeming to snap out of his stupor and continuing you both up the stairs to his throne, "what do their lines look like?"

               Nobody in the room needed to have 'their' clarified and everyone waited with baited breath to see what Marcus would discover.

               Seeming to zone out for a few moments, Marcus' eyes suddenly refocused and he answered, "They are strong, brother. But not as strong as other true mates."

               All eyes turned to look at you. Edward's brows were drawn into a deep glare and you uncomfortably looked away. The family would either hate you because you were with their 'dad' or hate you because you freed him from your bond. Either way, there was no way to win.

               "Hm," Aro murmured thoughtfully, "I wonder if it is because she is human or because of...something else." He threw a significant look to you that you ignored the best you could.

               Edward started growling again.

               "Aro," Carlisle's voice growled out, impatient. "What is going on with my mate?"

               "I think, my dear friend, that that is a question best left for said mate to answer. However, first, I believe our ceremony should get underway."

               Immediately, all the Cullen's stiffened. Only Bella and yourself remained unaware to what exactly that meant.

               "Y/N," Aro said suddenly, taking a seat in his throne and gently pulling you to stand beside him, "your mate, Carlisle has marked and been marked in return by another. Now, as a human, you probably do not feel as insulted as a vampire would, for this is one of the worst things that a true mate can do to another. The highest form of cheating our world has."

               Carlisle's head bowed down as if under a huge weight and Esme looked from him to you with shiny eyes. Tears? Great, as if you didn't feel awful before...

               "As his actual mate," Aro continued when you didn't say anything, "you get to decide how he should be punished."

               It was quiet for a moment before you suddenly blinked and snapped your head down to meet Aro’s ruby eyes. "What? Me?"

               The vampire king nodded. "Yes, you. You were the one slighted and so, you are the one to demand the compensation. We've seen a few cases of this over the centuries. Some vampires have their mates tortured to teach them a lesson, others have had their mates kill the vampire they mistakenly marked while a few have even had their mates killed."

               Your eyes, which had gotten progressively wider now threatened to pop out of your head. Why was everything so violent with these people? You were suddenly even more thankful that you weren’t a vampire... You didn't want to feel the need to have Carlisle do any of those things!

               "Since you are human, my guard is at your disposal for whichever method you choose that you cannot fulfill yourself. Of course, you don't have to do any of those options. You are free to choose whatever you wish."

               You were silent as you stared at the Cullen's, mind racing to try and find a way that would appease the ceremony but that didn't involve hurting anybody. Especially Carlisle.

               It’s not like it was his fault that he found a woman and fell in love with her! Granted, it wasn’t your fault either that your eyes met, but maybe, you could fix it for him? After all, what kind of future could you have with Carlisle if he hated you for taking away his freedom and choice of mate?

               "Might I suggest the second option that other slighted mates have used in the past?" Aro spoke up after a few minutes of you trying to figure out what to do.

               Your eyes snapped back to his. "The option where you have your mate kill the woman he marked that was not you,” Aro continued with a barely concealed smirk. “I do believe this will solve quite a lot in this case."

               You’re not sure where you got the guts to do it, but you glared heatedly down at Aro's smirking face. He knew of your half baked plan to get Carlisle and Esme back together and was just saying that to get a rise out of the Cullen's.

               And boy, did it work.

               Bella gasped while Esme's eyes shot to yours. She quickly averted her gaze, though you could see her hands trembling. Edward was looking at you with an unreadable expression and Carlisle... Carlisle looked miserable and heartbroken. He honestly thought...they all honestly thought that you would...

               You felt tears sting your eyes. Did they really have so little faith in you? Think so little of you that they thought you would have Carlisle tear apart the women he loves because they had marked each other? Were you really that awful of a person to them? You didn't choose to be his mate! You didn't mean to take him away from anybody!

               A stubborn tear broke free and languidly trailed down the side of your face.

               Edward's face bore the softest expression you'd ever seen pointed in your direction and you shut your eyes to block him out. You didn't need his pity. Or anybody else’s.

               Taking a shaky breath, you drew your shoulders back. You’d made your decision.

               You opened your eyes and with as much courage as you could muster, you looked down to meet the expectant eyes of the Vampire King seated in his throne beside you.

               “Kill me instead,” you murmured quietly, though you knew that every vampire in the room could hear you if the sudden deafening silence was any indication.

               And then all hell broke loose.

               “What?!” Edward roared, practically foaming at the mouth and to your surprise, Esme echoed his horrified exclamation with her own, shocked yell of, “Y/N!”.

               But your gaze then locked on Carlisle. He looked a mix of horrified, angry and absolutely devastated.

               “Y/N,” he whispered, voice breaking at the end and you were stunned to see what looked like a tear roll down his face. You weren’t aware vampires could cry.

               You shifted, uncomfortable and not quite sure what to do as Carlisle slowly began to walk towards you, hands lifted up in a gesture of submission.

               “Y/N,” he murmured again as he got closer, “please. Don’t.”

               You shifted again, not sure if you should step back or stay where you were as he approached.

               “Don’t what?” you finally managed to choke out.

               “Don’t ask to have yourself…,” he trailed off, not able to put into words you asking to have yourself killed. “Please, Y/N. Please, just punish me instead. Whichever option would make you feel better, but please, let it be against me. Not you.”

               He was now only a few steps away from you, standing on the first step to the thrones.

               “Please,” he started again but you interrupted him with a broken, “I have to!”

               Silence permeated the throne room again and Carlisle slowly took another step towards you, golden eyes searching your face.

               You couldn’t stand the worry and concern you saw in his eyes and took a step back, letting your gaze drop to the floor.

               “I have to,” you repeated, voice a little stronger but no louder than your broken murmur before. “I…I can’t see you hurt, Carlisle. And you’re… you’re not happy with me, you never could be, but with Esme you’re—”

               “Stop!” Carlisle begged, closing the distance between you swiftly and causing you to gasp and stiffen in his sudden embrace. “Y/N, please,” the vampire pleaded into your hair. “Don’t do this. Don’t say things like that. I am sorry, so so sorry.”

               Carlisle was suddenly pulling away but before you could do more than blink in protest, he was kneeling in front of you, his head bowed low enough that his forehead was lightly resting on your abdomen.

               “Y/N, I am sorry,” he repeated, “So sorry, darling.”

               Your heart rate tripled at the endearment and the feeling of cold, gentle hands slipping up to wrap around your waist as his head pressed a bit further into your stomach.

               “I have put you through….through too much these past few weeks. And I am not asking for forgiveness. Just that you let me be punished. You are too good for any of this, especially for-for death. Please, Y/N. Decide what punishment you want me to face, but keep yourself out of it.”

               You weren’t sure what to do.

               You had your mate clinging to you, begging you to have him punished and to save yourself, calling you darling and apologizing for how he’d treated you. But on the other hand…he wouldn’t be happy with you, would he? You could never live with yourself if you had him punished. All he did was mark the woman he loved and be marked in return. Why should he get punished for being suddenly bound to you?

               This really was the only way.

               “Carlisle,” you said quietly, with a sad smile, lifting a hand and running it through his hair, “It’s alright. I’m not upset with you – I understand. You and Esme have a connection that you and I will never have. And that’s okay. But this arrangement can’t work with me still in the picture. I’ve made up my mind, but it’s okay. It’s what I want.”

               A wretched sound tore itself from the vampire kneeling at your feet and suddenly, you found yourself whisked away and in what looked like a garden, your head spinning from his vampire speed.

               You were sat on a stone bench, your back pressed against the castle wall behind it and an almost frantic vampire doctor hovering above you.

               “I won’t allow you to have yourself killed because of me, Y/N,” Carlisle said firmly, sounding both fierce and heartbroken at the same time. “I have wronged you, my family has wronged you, but you…you have done nothing to deserve any of this, least of all death. If I have to, I will beg the Volturi to punish me, but I will not let you put any punishment on yourself.”

               “Carlisle,” you started gently, but the doctor interrupted you by falling to his knees before you once again.

               “Please, Y/N. I know that I have no right to ask anything of you, but please, do not do this to yourself.  I could not bear it if anything happened to you.”

               Your brow furrowed as you looked down at the vampire at your feet.

               “You…you can’t possibly care,” you murmured in confusion, mind racing over how you had been treated the last few weeks. He couldn’t really be trying to convince you that he’d cared all along?

               “I do care,” the blonde vampire murmured. “I have been a fool, Y/N and I am not looking for your forgiveness, for I know I do not deserve it. And I never would be able to earn it. But I do care for you and I care what happens to you. All I am asking is that you don’t die for me and certainly not for anyone else in the family. I will fight to ensure that nothing happens to you, that no one hurts you again. Please, Y/N. Just…allow the ceremony to progress with me as the punished. I will do whatever you ask of me, endure anything you could think of. Just not your death. Please not that.”

               You leaned back a little to better look him in the eye and asked dubiously, “If I wanted to follow Aro’s suggestion? The second option? Where you were to kill Esme, you’d be fine with that?”

               Carlisle’s eyes showed pain, but also conviction when he steadily answered, “I would do it if that was your wish.”

               Your jaw dropped.

               “What?! But, you love her! Why would you even consider killing her just because I said so?!”

               “Because you are my Mate!” Carlisle shouted right back, causing your eyes to widen even further. “I have been a fool, Y/N, but that hasn’t changed the fact that you are the One for me. You are my Mate. And I have treated you abhorrently. Whatever you would wish, I would give you.”

               You crossed your arms defensively and looked over his shoulder at the foliage behind him.

               “You’re only saying that because of the Pull,” you murmured, feeling your eyes tear up again as your mate, the one you have been hopelessly attracted to for weeks, said all the things you’d been hoping he’d say.

               But you knew he didn’t mean it.

               He couldn’t.

               A gentle hand cupped your cheek and turned your face to his.

               “I can feel the Pull,” he agreed, shushing you as you made a sound in distress. “But it does not dictate my actions, nor does it dictate my feelings. If the Pull was that strong, and there is a part of me that wishes it was, none of the last few weeks would have happened. The Pull gives us direction and a purpose, it shows us who is our Match. But it does not force us. Not in the way you’ve been thinking. Yes, over time, even the most stubborn vampires will listen to it more and more, but only because it feels right. I…,” he paused before he sighed heavily and continued, “I have not been a good Mate, I have been ignoring and fighting the Pull. For a variety of reasons, none of them good, and none of them have anything to do with you and whatever shortcomings you think you possess. I am an old fool, Y/N. But a fool that has learned to listen to fate and has grown to care for you. Please, please believe me. I do not wish any more harm to befall you, especially because of me.”

               You were silent for a few long moments, just staring into the golden eyes in front of you.

               “What would you have me do, Carlisle?” you asked tiredly, worn out from the emotions the last few weeks had wrought upon you.

               “Nothing,” was his immediate response. “I am in no position to ask or demand anything of you, Y/N. But…if I could, if you would permit me, I would ask the favor that you not ask the Volturi for your death. Anything else, I will agree to and give you. Anything. Just not that.”

               “What about the bond?” you murmured after a moment. “What would you have me do about the bond?”

               “Nothing,” he replied again, though you could tell that it was not as easy for him to say this time around. “I deserve nothing from you, least of all your companionship and love in a bond. I would ask, if you would allow me to occasionally be by your side, to keep the bond satisfied so you would feel no ill effects.”

               When he didn’t say anything else you asked, “That’s it? You wouldn’t have me be changed? Try and change my mind so that I would agree to a relationship?” Your eyes shuttered as a horrible thought occurred to you. “Would you just go back to Esme?”

               “No!” Carlisle rushed to reassure you, suddenly standing and leaning over you, one knee on the bench by your side.

               “Esme and I are no longer, Y/N. We will not be together again. You are my Mate, my Only. There will be no other for me. I would not ask you to become like me; I do not deserve to even think of trying to change your mind and be with me in any capacity. I realize I ruined my chances of that long ago. I just ask that you let me make sure you are not in any pain from the Bond for the rest of your life. However long that may be.”

               “Y/N?” a voice spoke up from your left and you looked over to see one of the Volturi guards standing in the doorway. “The Masters asked that we bring you and the Cullen back into the throne room. The ceremony cannot be delayed any longer.”

               Carlisle slowly straightened, golden eyes roving over every inch of your form as if committing it to memory while he helped you stand from the bench.

               “Um, thank you,” you murmured to the guard. With one last look at Carlisle, you headed over to the guard, Carlisle falling into step behind you.

               You would have to come up with another plan then, to appease the ceremony. You would do as Carlisle asked and not ask to be killed yourself, but you still refused to have your bond mate hurt.

               Glancing behind you as subtly as you could, you took in the sight of Carlisle walking behind you, and felt your heart flutter slightly.

               You wouldn’t be trusting him any time soon, but if he meant what he said…well, you had years to have him prove himself to you.

               Maybe, just maybe…there was hope for you two yet.

[uhhhhyandere]

heheheehehehe 

no wedding yet. I really do be messing with the plot a lot, and making it when i shouldn’t but... i can’t help myself. ;p 

it’s totally true that light can be the sweetest person in order to convince anyone, and i exploit that like a bitch. as always, writing for fun, not perfection!! 

word count: 5.4k

 “I’ve been seeing you a lot more.” Rose mixed her drink with the spoon, but her eyes were happily trained on you. “It’s a good thing! Don’t get me wrong. You surprised me when you called to meet up. Usually, it’s me, then you say we’ll see, then you call me back later. It’s a nice change of pace when you call, but I know you’re busy with wedding planning and being happy.” You crossed your legs, slipping your hands under your thighs to warm them up from the ice of your own drink.  

“I think it’s probably because when the amount of stress in my life tripled is when I realized I need a break,” is what you said, and what Light told you to say if you were ever questioned on why you were suddenly so social after he allowed you the freedom to leave without permission. Perhaps he was finally tired of the calls throughout the day while he was working, or maybe there was a semblance of trust beginning to form. That, or he finally noticed that you were beginning to fester in the confines of your home and wants your spirit to lift once more, which is all the more amusing to you that he may think that would be feasible.

“Well, I don’t know how much I can do to help. I mean, I’m sure Light’s doing his part, right?” You laughed.

“Plenty.”

“Then, do you need anything at all? From me? Or mom?” As pins and needles in your hands began to spread, you removed them and stretched them out on top of your thighs.

“Can you tell me about your life?”

“Huh?”

“Your life. You know. Sato, your new apartment. Your sex life. I don’t care. Anything. Everything. I just need to look into someone’s life that isn’t my own,” because frankly, you were worried Light had something up his sleeve, and you knew, you knew, you would only bring yourself more misery if you drowned yourself in your thoughts. Your sister leaned back in the cushion and smiled to herself.

“Well, it was our three months last week. Nothing compared to you, but it was nice. I’ve never been the one for… commitment, really, but—I don’t know—seeing you and Light, it makes me think that ‘Yeah I want that,’ and it’s a nice change to hookups.” She cut herself off. Her eyes stuck on a crack in the wall below the window. With her lips parted, she sighed, and a sudden sadness fell onto her face. Her fingers played with the wood of the table for a few moments before she opened her mouth to speak again. “Sorry, I was just thinking about Oliver. Reminds me of him.”

“What does, specifically?”

“Commitment. He slept around so much in college, but, when he settled back in the US and met his partner, it was like he changed. That connection, he felt it immediately, and, right when he was brave enough to take the next step…” Rose wiped beneath her eyes, being careful to avoid the mascara on her bottom lashes. It seemed that her eyes were only watering though. “Well, you know.” Yes, you did. “I’m scared. What if I find that and then it’s just… taken away from me? It’s easy when there’s no feelings involved.” She shook her head and hid her mouth behind her hand. “Sorry. I’m supposed to be distracting you from the stress, but I’m just adding to it.”

You allowed the table to fall into silence. Every time you’ve seen Rose since Light gifted your freedom, there was a small, small voice in the back of your mind that told you to tell Rose the truth. Sometimes just parts of it, but you knew that you couldn’t unwrap a small piece without, over time, exposing it all. Even so, what harm could Rose really do with that information? She’s never ceased her devotion to Kira, and you remember it was a defining factor in Sato when she started talking to him. Would she see Kira different knowing he is not some omnipotent god descended from wherever to distribute justice on the human world? Losing her belief was too much of a risk in exchange for information she didn’t need to know.

Information she deserved to know.

“Double date.”

“What?”

“Why don’t you and Sato and me and Light just go for dinner or something? I don’t know him well, and it might be a good idea to try. I mean, when I get stuck up in the past, I try to appreciate the present by doing something. I think it’s what they all would want.” Lying comes too easy. Little did she know the dead you thought of most likely wanted you as dead as them, and, wherever Misa was, you were sure she wanted the same.

“They all?”

“Huh?”

“You said they all, as in plural.” You shook your head.

“Oh, yeah. Well, Light’s dad, coworkers he’s had who have passed, Oliver.” She folded her hands over mouth.

“I completely forgot. I—you’re right. We should set that up. Soon, and I mean soon. As in this weekend or the next? I know Light’s schedule is insane, and yours, too, with the wedding. Oh, and I’ll tell Sato that Light is okay with our beliefs, so there’s no issue there. You know, with Kira.” You shook your head.

“No, no, it’s fine. It was my idea. He makes his own schedule most of the time unless something particularly nasty comes up. I’m sure that he’ll be free. He tries for weekends off but… he’s a workaholic.” Rose laughed into the brim of her cup.

“Sounds like him. I’m sure Sato will be free too.”

“What does he do, if I may ask?”

“Oh, he’s a lawyer. He used to be a public defender, but now he’s moved to elder law since Kira first appeared.” She paused. “You know, I think that he could use it too. His stepbrother died a while back, and he looked up to him like they were blood brothers.” You nodded. “Speaking of which,” she raised her wrist, “I told Sato that I would meet him after his appointment to go to that—um—botanical garden, I think? I don’t know. I’m excited.” You watched her hurry to collect herself. “Are you coming?” You shook your head.

“No, I think I’ll stay for a bit,” you checked your own watch, “Light won’t be home for a little while anyway. You go have fun. Let this chained old hag stay here.” Rose scoffed.

“’Chained old hag’, my younger sister who is planning the best day of her life says. Call me when you talk to Light and we can set up that date. Bye! Love you!” By the time she was wishing you well, she was halfway towards the door. You smiled to yourself. No, you would keep her in blissful ignorance despite what she deserves. It only added to your list of shit deeds. Nothing new.

You dug into your back pocket and pulled out your cell phone you turned off for the duration of your coffee date and decided you would leave it that way. You could people-watch for the next half hour. Hell, you probably could for the next five hours and not even know. You could hardly remember the last time you had watched the passersby with no worries, or at least, with all of your worries suppressed to normalcy.

With each one that passed, you grew more and more envious. Though every person had problems, stressors, issues, you were sure that you would trade anything to have the struggles they are having, so blissfully unaware of the reality that is around them. How easy it was for them to simply perish from this world in forty seconds, and they didn’t even know. Too busy worrying about exams and deadlines to even care. You released a shaky breath and thought about how you would do anything to have calculus be your biggest problem.

Too little, too late. The time for self-pity has long passed. Still, you permitted yourself some time to wallow for the sake of “self-care.” To cry against the headrest of the coffee shop chair until it was three minutes passed the time you wanted to leave was a fine enough method. It gave you enough time to fix yourself so Light would never know the difference.

Though, he was nowhere to be found as you walked into your house. The only indication he was home was the muffled movement from the floor above. Before you moved to go up the stairs, the number of objects on your kitchen counter drew your attention. Multiple white binders with swatches of silk sticking out from the edges, different plastic flowers, multiple—.

“Oh my fucking god,” you muttered, dread dropping into your core like an anchor. You had a fucking meeting with your wedding planner today. You ripped your phone from your pocket a finally turned it on. Fifteen text messages. Eight calls. You were dead. You dropped the device onto the counter in order to cup your face with your hands and groan.

“Oh, nice of you to come home.”

“Light, I am—I don’t—I don’t know—.” He shushed you with an open palm. Your hands linked on the edge of the counter behind your back. Biting your lip, you kept your eyes on him, ready to take whatever he was planning to give. Light sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Stop looking at me like a wounded dog. I haven’t even said anything yet. When I allowed you your freedom, I didn’t mean to free your head from your brain either. I looked like a fool with her after calling you eight times. She asked me if everything was okay between us, if we were fighting. Do you know how annoying and more importantly embarrassing for me it was? Have you ever, for once, used your brain for anything outside of what is in front of you? Where were you, anyway? With your sister, again?” Light scoffed. “No wonder your head isn’t working as well as it used to.”

“Rose is not stupid.”

“She’s certainly not intelligent. Why have you sought her out so much, anyway? If there’s something wrong, you should be talking to me. She may be your sister, and she may think she knows what may be going on, but she never will. Rose can never bring you any comfort when she’s so in the dark. The only person who knows, who can bring you a semblance of peace, is me.” You clenched your teeth.

“Then why not tell her, then? Everything.” He scowled and a single brow rose in challenge. “She deserves to know at least how our brother and father died.” Your throat clenched, but you remained steadfast. They always say tears is how you convince someone of anything, but tears were only a sign of weakness to Light. He sighed, shoulders falling. Closing the space in between you, he brought his hand to delicately cup your jaw.

“The guilt is eating at you again. Y/N, if you decided to tell her that, you would need to tell her everything. You would risk losing all connection with her, just as your brother did when you told him.” He leaned in so his lips began to trail up your jaw, across your cheek, and towards your ear. “Not to mention the potential obstacle it could pose to me, and you know I don’t hesitate when it comes to anything that could stand in my way.” He placed a small kiss behind your ear. “Is that something you are willing to risk in order to alleviate your guilt? Is it really worth it?” His hand that was on your jaw traced up your cheek, fingernails lightly dragging across your skin. He tucked your hair behind your ear and moved his face, so he was looking directly into your eyes again. “I won’t waste my breath telling you what to do. By now, you should already know, which is why you have this freedom in the first place because you know better.” With a sigh, he retracted, leaving only his hand in your hair. “Still, should you decide to do something stupid, I won’t think twice before cleaning up your mess. Decide if you’re ready to go through that again.

He took his hand back and walked around to begin to stifle through the binders. Turning around, you helped him spread them all across the counter and the table.

“What did I miss?” Your voice was quiet, still nervous to tempt out a side of him you didn’t want to see. Light’s eyes jumped around the binders.

“You’re lucky we didn’t need to make any decisions today. I brought home everything. Color swatches, food options, flowers, music, venues, cake, everything,” You sighed. “Not to mention dresses.”

“Please don’t even mention it. I’ve always been more of a jumpsuit kind of person.” He met your eyes briefly. “I-I mean in general! No, I’ll be wearing the big, whitey giant. Just don’t even know where to start, and not just that, with everything. It’s so much. Do we even have a budget in mind yet?” He shook his head.

“Money shouldn’t be a problem.” You furrowed your brows, but he said it as easy as someone who was talking about the weather. “What? Don’t look so mystified. As long as we don’t decide to make this a royal wedding and invite the Queen, we don’t have any foreseeable problems.” In your time since you quit your job, you realized that you haven’t thought about money at all. It wasn’t really an issue that was… “in front of your face.” You scowled as Light’s statement replayed in your head. You used his card if you went anywhere or bought anything, and yet you haven’t even thought to check the bank statement.

By god, you were turning into a trophy wife. Maybe, if you knew what that really was. Whatever you were turning into, it didn’t settle right in your stomach.

“Then we should decide the vibe.”

“The… vibe,” he repeated skeptically.

“Yeah. Do we want it to be rustic, or classy and formal? Or modern? Minimalistic? Classic? I don’t know. Then we could decide colors to go along with the theme, and then flowers would follow. We work from the outside in. We just need to figure out the attendance before picking a venue. Then the date. Then—yikes, this is a lot.” You ran a hand through your hair. “Do you care?”

“What do you mean, ‘do I care?’”

“I mean, I don’t know. Sometimes guys are like ‘I don’t care,’ and—I don’t know I watch a lot of TLC and HGTV.” Light brought a hand to your waist and pulled you into his side. He rolled his head in your direction.

“Do you really think I am anything like those guys on TV?” You pushed his head away.

“Yeah, sorry. Stupid question. So, what about—.”

“Formal.”

“Huh?”

“The ‘vibe.’ Formal.” His fingers drummed against your hip. You shouldn’t be too surprised he would want it to be professional and classy given he’s been dressing for his job since high school. Though, if you wanted to pose an argument, could you? Not that you minded the formal idea, but maybe your freedom has given you some of your courage back to test your limits.

“What about rustic? Like country-side.”

“You expect me to be married in a barn?”

“Rustic does not mean getting married in a barn,” you laughed. “It’s what I’ve always imagined my wedding would look like. Maybe a sunflower field or horses. Outside under a huge oak tree on a summer day.” A smile grew on your face picturing it, but as Light remained silent, it fell into a pensive frown. Your brother would have walked you up the aisle. “Though, I guess nothing has really turned out as I’ve imagined.” Whatever moment of courage flared in you moments before died. “Formal is fine. Then the colors should coincide.”

“Gold and black.” You grinned quietly.

“Yeah, that’s—um—on theme. It’s-it’s good. I’m going to go get a pen and paper to write this all down. I think there are notebooks in the drawer in the closet.” You tore away from his side and sped to the closet. Shutting the door behind you, you released your wet and shaking breaths in the darkness of the small space. Warm tears spilled down your cheeks, and you laughed because you had no idea why you were even crying. Still, you wrapped your arms around yourself and silently squeezed your eyes shut to push them all out. The door opened behind you, flooding the closet with light. “I’m sorry. I s-swear I’m not crying. I’m not I’m—.”

Arms wrapped around your own. Gently, he guided you to move them to allow his own to take their place. He nudges his head to slot between your neck and shoulder, but he, for once, does not say anything. He need not to. This was to comfort you, sure, but you knew better to think it was a sign of care. He had to do this. To be his true, ugly self all the time would simply eradicate the pretty picture he paints that distracts you from reality. Light had to convince you that there was something there that was not twisted, raw possession. Maybe there was a time it would have genuinely worked too, but the time has long passed. All there was left to do was believe in the known lie that this was love.

And that went both ways. What you felt towards him… you called it love, but even that would be too simple. Fear. Hate. Loneliness. Were they parts of love as well? If so, then maybe love was the right word. It had to be. You couldn’t be marrying a man you hated, that you feared. You had to love him. That was the only… it was the truth. All those years, you did. You’ve loved him all this time. It was the truth.  You loved him. You would pledge the rest of your life to him. That was the truth. It was. It was it was it was it was it was it was it was—.

“I love you, Light.” A kiss to your neck was your only answer.  

  No more planning was done that day. Once your tears dried, Light led you to the bathroom upstairs by hand in silence. You followed his footsteps as he brushed his teeth, washed his face, and stepped back into the space of the bedroom. Your eyes followed his form as he opened the drawer in the dresser and placed yours and his pajamas on top. He changed himself first, unbothered by your shameless staring. Then, he turned to you.

With unmatched gentility, he gripped the hem of your shirt and slowly brought it up to your abdomen. You rose your arms to help him disrobe it. He walked around you and unsnapped your bra, throwing it alongside your shirt. Back in your view, Light motioned for you to raise your arms, and he slid your long pajama shirt down your body. Before moving to your lower body, you stepped back and discarded them yourselves and put on your own bottoms. There was a small smile on Light’s face as you turned back to him.

Despite it being the early evening, you both settled in next to each other on the bed. Light reached for the remote and began playing a movie you both had already saw from a time far different. You did not question a single thing as you nuzzled into his embrace. The warmth of his body was no lie even if the lips that sought yours were. The kisses were long. They were short. They were deep. They were shallow. They were consuming. They were fluttering. They were right. With his hand behind your head, Light devoured you, but he did no more. He did not move to your neck. His hands did not deviate below your shoulders. His show was… real. It was. When he would push far, he would filter back to shallow. When his teeth nipped too hard, his tongue would follow to soothe the pain. It was all him. His taste. His scent.  

He did not do this to Misa, to Takada. This was for you. You were his. No one else could have ever said so and told the truth. You smiled into the next kiss, turning your head to take him deeper. For all the fighting, the confidence those women had that he was theirs, and where are they now? Where has their confidence gotten them? Burned. Removed. Gone, yet here you were, alive. In a game you never wanted to play but was the front runner, you won. They got themselves killed or wherever they are. It was the truth. It was. Lips parting from his for air, you let yourself immerse into the brown of his eyes. Chests rising and falling together, breaths intermingled, this was right. It was. This was the God of the New World, and this was Light Yagami.

It was. 

“Gold and black,” you said. “With hints of purple.”

  “A double date?” You stared up at him the next morning, head nestled into the cusp of his arm and shoulder. “With your sister and her boyfriend?” You nodded.

“Impulsive idea, but it’ll look good when she tells my cousins and everyone. PR, you know? Not that you don’t already have a lot with my family who hasn’t even met you, but she talks to them a lot. Might help the day of. Might not, but… I would appreciate it. Her boyfriend is a lawyer.”

“Oh?” You nodded.

“His step-brother was too, but he died. We think. He’s missing, but he thinks that he’s dead. Well, that’s what Rose told me, anyway.” You fiddled with the fabric of his shirt that lied over his chest.

“What is his name?”

“Sato.” When you look back up again, Light was hyper-focused on the ceiling. “Do you know him?” He scoffed, moving his hand that was near your back to come forth and flick you in the forehead. You lost your head cushion in the process as he moves to get up. “She wants to set it up this or next weekend, if you’re free.” Light’s muscles flex as he stretches.

“Saturday is fine.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll call Rose, then.”

  The restaurant was one you had heard of many times but haven’t had the chance to go to yet. It was a more casual setting, but it was packed. However, Light used his magic to get a booth in the far corner. You slid next to him. “I don’t know how you do this.”

“When will they be here? I don’t like to wait for people.” Thoughts of your forgotten wedding planning appointment sail through your mind.

“Rose is always late, but she’ll show.” Light hummed in response and pulled at his jacket sleeves. It was only five minutes before you saw your sister happily heading towards your table, a stressed man of her age following behind. You and Light rose to greet her with a hug that you knew Light hated.

“Hi, Y/N. Light! It’s been so long. How are you?”

“I’m alright. How are you?”

“Amazing. Anyway, Y/N, Light, this is Sato.” You did a double-take at Light’s expression but shook it off as you greeted him. “I’ve told him a lot so, don’t be surprised of how much he knows of you two.”

“All good things,” Sato reassured. The four of you sat at the booth, and the waiter was immediately present to ask for drinks. “Though, it is great to meet the brilliant Light Yagami. Your work on that missing persons case was astounding. Who would have thought to connect the sister to the missing luggage and the misplaced car? I read over the case file.” Light smiled and laughed.

“Thank you. I try not to talk too much work outside of it, but that was a nasty case.” Rose groaned.

“We get it. You’re smart, Light. We know.” The waiter returned briefly with the beverages. “You’re lucky that you’re nice, or else I would have beat you up in college.”

“College?”

“Light, Y/N, and I are all alumni of To-Oh, though they’re both a few years younger than me.” Sato looked impressed at the three of you. “It’s where their love blossomed.” You shook your head and hid your face behind your sleeve. “Don’t get embarrassed, Y/N! It’s true. Anyway, Light, what are you up to these days anyway? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Wedding planning. Work. Nothing unusual, except maybe the wedding planning. That’s not really usual, is it?” Light laughed. Silence followed as you all scrutinized the menu. Light leaned over to you. “Do you want to split this?” Your normal answer would be absolutely not, but the gleam in his eye was unmistakable. Without even looking at the menu item, you nodded. “Alright.” The waiter returned to take the orders before leaving once again. “So, you’re a lawyer?”

“Yes! I used to be a criminal lawyer and did public defense here and there, but I’ve moved to elder law. A lot less stressful for the most part.” Your fiancé leaned forward, placing his chin in his palm.

“I see. Why the switch, if I may ask?”

“Oh, it’s no big deal. Criminals are dealt with without much help from lawyers. There’s a bigger force than judges and courts casting justice. Staying in the business is just financial suicide, especially with crime down the way it is.” Sato’s face fell. “My step-brother too. He was a criminal lawyer, but he disappeared a while ago. He was my biggest influence growing up. Couldn’t get a case without it reminding me of him, so I switched as well.” Light’s eyes did not move from his own.

“That’s a shame. I’m sorry. I lost my father as well, and Y/N and Rose lost their brother, but that’s why we’re here, isn’t it? The dead wouldn’t want us to cease our lives because of them. I know my father wouldn’t, at least.” Sato nodded.

“Same for Mikami.”

…What?

Light leaned back in the booth. It was nothing to Rose and Sato, but to you, it said mission accomplished. He crossed his arms and gave you only a second-long glance before focusing back on the company. You, though, you were choking on air and frozen to your seat. Though you’ve never met Mikami, having only seen him outside of the warehouse that… day, Light told you about him, and about he was almost the reason for his death should your father and you not been involved.

“…Y/N. Y/N!” Rose’s shrill voice cut you from your thoughts. “Thought we lost you there. Something on your mind?” You shook your head and laughed nervously. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you dared not look at Light.

“No, sorry. Wedding things. What were we talking about?”

“I was talking about my step-brother and Light’s dad. Both of them were men of justice. I could see where you get your motivation and talent from then. Having your father as chief of police must have been a strong pull in the criminal justice path.”

“And your brother. He sounded like a good man.” Sato shrugged, scratching his nose with the crook of his finger.

“Yes, he was. He’s one of the main reasons I believe in what I believe in today. He loved Kira. Worshipped him, and when he died, I started to think the same. There was foul play in my brother’s disappearance, and I just hope that Kira has brought them to justice.” Your fists clenched under the table. Light placed a soft hand on your shaking fist and tightened his grip as you refused to loosen yours. “There’s simply no evidence. He was doing nothing different. Acting the same. Then one day he moved plans because he had somewhere he had to be. Then he was just gone.”  Light’s hand was at the point of hurting your own, so you finally loosened your fist. He still did not let go.

“I’m sorry that happened to you, Sato.”

“Has it crossed your desk, Light?” Rose asked. “Sorry. You’re with the NPA, so I thought maybe you would have seen it.” Light shook his head.

“When was this again?”

“January. A little more than a year ago.”

“It must have been around the time… something happened.” Oh, around the time you watched his brother and all your ‘friends’ die? Light must have sensed your discomfort and moved his hand from yours to grasp your thigh and rub back and forth. “It was a rough patch for me. I took off a lot of time then.”

“Oh, I had no idea. I’m so sorry. I remember I didn’t see either of you until the funeral, and even after…”

“Please, forget we said anything.” Sato finished for her. Light smiled and waved him off with his free hand.  

“It’s fine. You didn’t know. Still, I can look into your brother and see what I can pull. If I can help you find closure, then I’ll do my best.” With an earnest voice and an award-winning smile, he even had this man he just met looking at him like he had a halo and wings.

“I… really appreciate it. I can’t believe you’re actually as nice as they say. You know, sometimes highly accredited detectives can be… dicks. Thank you,” Sato’s gaze turned to you, “and congratulations to you both! I forgot to say before.” You grinned politely but could not speak.

“Ah, thank you. We’re still in early planning process, but we’re getting there.” He nudged you with his shoulder, and once again you grinned politely. “Anyway, how did you two meet? I hate to just talk about ourselves, though I can go on forever…”

You hardly spoke through the dinner, only responding when you were directly addressed. It was a good thing Light and you split a meal, as you couldn’t stomach more than a few bites. Light would squeeze your thigh when you had to respond. For the rest of the time, you were zoned out, focused on the cracks in the table, the movement of the servers, and anything else but the interaction between Light and everyone’s brother’s murderer. When it was getting too obvious your attention was purposely away from the table, you played with Light’s fingers that were on your thigh until Light offered to handle the bill and you were on your feet wishing your goodbyes.

“Are you okay?” Rose whispered as you hugged. Wordlessly, you nodded. “How are you, really?” You sighed.

“I’m fine. I promise.” You glanced to her boyfriend and your fiancé who both waited for the two of you. “Light will take care of me. Don’t worry.” Reluctant, she nodded and followed the men outside of the restaurant where you went your separate ways. You watched Rose lean happily into Sato, hands interlocked, while Light had a simple hand on your hip with his back poised and straight.

“You knew.”

“Of course, I knew.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You found out, didn’t you?” You exhaled through your nose.

“Was it because of what I said? About telling her?” Light did not respond. Parting from you and entering the driver’s seat, he did not regard you until he put the car into drive.

“Telling her was out of the question in the first place. The rest was a problem that solved itself. You know now, at least, of what would happen the moment you tell her a single thing. Risking her happiness, her and his life.”

“But not mine.” It slipped before you could even think about the words you just said. Light pondered them, eyes narrowing in thought as he weaved through traffic.

“But not yours. Never yours.” You did not know whether his words were the truth or more pretty lies, but you opted for the former. It brought you comfort, after all. 

“Do you like the idea of dark flowers with gold details?”  

[punkscowardschampions]

Amber & Cosmo

Amber: Red suits you…

Cosmo: Damn, is it really that bad?

Cosmo: 2nd message politely rinsing me

Amber: I mean it, you look really nice

Amber: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Cosmo: Oh

Cosmo: well, cheers

Cosmo: it was a necessity, like

Amber: For a good first impression, sure

Amber: I know how much they matter to you

Cosmo: We don’t all have an open window to make that ultimate impression

Amber: maybe don't drop that hint to her, whoever she is, it's a lot of pressure to imply the window of opportunity is closing after the dessert course

Cosmo: You might know her

Cosmo: She goes to your school, but Dash’s year

Cosmo: I don’t know her, but I can’t see her climbing through any windows tonight, or any other night for that matter

Amber: I don't know many people in Dash's year but those I do would be more likely than not to climb through a window, especially if someone like you was requesting it

Amber: Would you like to get to know her, that obvious deal breaker aside?

Cosmo: What do you mean someone like me?

Cosmo: But this was kind of a blind date situation, set up by someone who thought we’d both be interested

Amber: Let me see if I can put into words what I mean

Amber: someone who is generous with their time on top of also being attentive to how the other person wants to spend theirs because you actively listen and then make things happen

Amber: you're someone I really like hanging out with and I think they would feel the same in my place

Amber: Oh cool, I love blind dates!

Cosmo: Well

Cosmo: you’re in a good mood

Cosmo: It’s a shame that I don’t think I’ll feel anywhere near as similarly about anyone my brother associates with

Cosmo: I can see that for you

Cosmo: It’s awkward and you’ve never heard of the word

Amber: it's more of a shame you're trying to put me in a bad one 😂

Cosmo: I didn’t mean you, obviously

Cosmo: We called truce but it still don’t mean I want his dating pool to be mine

Amber: I wasn't suggesting it should be, the friends I have in his year aren't all mutuals we share, only in his head is he that popular

Amber: but I meant you trying to call me out for never feeling awkward in situations where other people are, as if I'm supposed to view it negatively instead of one of the positives this 👽 lifestyle has to offer

Cosmo: Maybe I was being nice too, and you just made an assumption

Cosmo: be mad at yourself

Amber: I wasn’t, but maybe now I am, an assumption of that being the best you can do at being nice

Amber: tonight or to me anyway

Cosmo: Yeah you were ‘cos I didn’t say it was a bad thing

Cosmo: What’s wrong with you tonight?

Amber: I don’t know what you mean or expect me to say to the biggest assumption you’ve made so far

Amber: tonight or frankly ever

Cosmo: Even if I weren’t out, I don’t think I could decode what you’re getting at rn

Amber: There’s nothing wrong with me, you said yourself I’m in a good mood

Cosmo: Right, fine, alright

Cosmo: I just need to go home then

Amber: I’m sorry your blind date isn’t going well though

Cosmo: It’s not the end of the world

Amber: no, but wasted time doesn’t feel good, and besides, something doesn’t have to be end of the world levels of BAD to get sympathy from me or a reaction from you

Cosmo: I don’t need sympathy

Cosmo: we just have nothing in common

Amber: okay, empathy then

Cosmo: Just stop, yeah

Amber: what?

Cosmo: Making it seem like a big deal when it isn’t

Cosmo: she’s some kid who’s split up from her boyfriend and needed cheering up

Cosmo: with that kind of pressure, no wonder I couldn’t manage it, but it’s not me who’s 😞 so it don’t matter, ‘less you wanna send her your condolences

Amber: it sounds like I should, or at the very least the wonky fruit basket your nan never got

Cosmo: you think I’m that much of a dick, yeah

Cosmo: nice

Amber: I wasn’t making it about you, she’s upset because she’s going through a breakup

Amber: why are you this determined to start a fight with me right now?

Cosmo: I’m not

Cosmo: I don’t have a fruit basket to hand, that’s all

Amber: You don’t need one, you already did your best at trying to cheer her up, it’s not your fault, or hers, that it didn’t work

Cosmo: It is my fault

Amber: personally, I doubt it, but if you believe it, tell me why

Cosmo: I’m never going to be what they expect or want, that’s facts

Amber: for girls still devastated over their exes, of course not

Cosmo: Right

Cosmo: Whatever then

Amber: you’re dismissing what I just said because…?

Cosmo: Because you don’t get it and this is a waste of both our time

Cosmo: and that’s 💔 so you should go enjoy your great mood

Amber: I get that you think you failed when really this was a situation where there wasn’t a way to ‘win’ because time, distance from her ex and anything that reminds her of him are the real things that’ll help her, it isn’t a waste of time to talk about it unless you wanna keep pretending it doesn’t matter

Cosmo: Being perfect on paper is exhausting

Cosmo: There was no point deluding her that it could go any further

Amber: You're not someone who leaves people in any kind of delusion, which isn't a bad thing, before you try and say I'm saying it is

Cosmo: Proving we don’t know each other at all

Cosmo: but it’s a favourable mischaracterisation so, why not

Amber: You're definitely determined to prove that’s true, tonight and every other since we’ve met, so if it’ll cheer you up

Cosmo: Selfless as always

Cosmo: and we haven’t spent any night together just two day trips so

Amber: we could, but either way, you know what I was trying to say, ineloquent as always

Cosmo: This one’s a write-off

Cosmo: and I might set alight if I get anywhere near a campfire

Amber: it doesn’t have to be and a campfire wouldn’t have to be involved

Cosmo: It always does with you lot

Cosmo: and I can’t change modes that fast

Amber: It’s me you’d be spending time with, boy, and I can be much more flexible than them about what my idea of fun is

Cosmo: You’ve told me how flexible you are before

Amber: it’s worth repeating

Cosmo: 😂 Show-off

Amber: not yet I’m not but I could be

Cosmo: Oh yeah?

Amber: any time or place, I don’t ever feel awkward, remember

Cosmo: Sure, see you when that’s actually believable for either of us

Amber: Okay, I’ll come and meet you now because it is

Cosmo: It ain’t

Amber: Why?

Cosmo: I know you get awkward, even if it’s not at the usual things everyone else does

Amber: We didn’t know each other at all a minute ago, according to you

Cosmo: you’re a contradiction too, that’s why I like you

Amber: if you’re gonna remember anything, actually, it should be that you do like me

Cosmo: I’ll deny it in a court of law, like

Amber: and I’ll deny liking you too if you do

Cosmo: Liar

Amber: maybe it would be true if you were that mean to me in a court of law, I don’t know

Cosmo: I don’t wanna be mean

Amber: neither do I

Cosmo: It’s the easy way out

Amber: I don’t want out, the easy or hard way

Cosmo: Not of this

Cosmo: the rest, it’s still not right

Amber: What’s wrong with it, the rest?

Cosmo: I mean, I could treat you all like shit and not care, if I was mean

Cosmo: it’s cowardly, he’s a fucking pussy

Amber: I’m glad you’re not

Cosmo: I couldn’t if I wanted to

Amber: perfect on paper isn’t subjective, that’s part of why it must be exhausting, I guess

Cosmo: It’s not real though, is it

Cosmo: at least I don’t have to deliver, the fantasy is what’s important, I just follow the script till we part ways

Cosmo: but that’s because I can’t deliver, not really

Amber: but it's sad, the idea of following a script instead of getting to know someone, feeling like you have to behave a certain way even if it is just for a night

Cosmo: They are getting to know me, as much as they want

Amber: it isn't fair to you or what you want, that should count too

Cosmo: What do I want?

Amber: I don't know you well enough to answer that, unfortunately

Cosmo: At least you aren’t deluded

Amber: Thanks 😂

Amber: but everyone wants genuine connections with people don't they? It wouldn't be an assumption that you'd also want that

Cosmo: Not totally, anyway, don’t get carried away

Cosmo: Not everyone wants genuine connection with everyone though

Amber: No, but you aren't blind dating everyone, right?

Cosmo: It’s not that deep

Amber: not with her, but you wouldn't have sounded so trapped before talking about this situation if you didn't want things to be different

Cosmo: She’s not holding me hostage

Cosmo: We’re finished up here anyway

Amber: If we're going with this analogy, okay, you're holding yourself hostage

Cosmo: 🙄😏 it’s either too early or too late for analogies, Ambs

Amber: I'm following your lead here

Cosmo: I don’t know where I’m going, so probably don’t

Cosmo: not tonight anyway

Amber: I don't mind where we go, you can pick

Amber: [suggest a place where you could do a night swim because you know he likes that and other places you could do sporty\competitive things he'd be about to try and turn his night around, I like to think there's 9 different options]

Cosmo: That’s dedication to the ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Cosmo: I can’t do anything tonight, I told you

Cosmo: It’d be…

Amber: Raincheck? I'm trying to cheer you up not make you feel like you're under more pressure to perform for me

Cosmo: It’s not that but yeah

Amber: Are you gonna tell me what it is?

Cosmo: I couldn’t if I wanted to

Cosmo: don’t pay me for my way with words though, thank God

Amber: we can do another raincheck until you’re ready to talk about it

Cosmo: Sounds cheery

Cosmo: We don’t need to wait about and prioritize moping

Amber: We'd be prioritising communication, why's that so bad?

Cosmo: We could communicate about anything

Cosmo: Better still, do anything instead of talk about it

Cosmo: Why would we bother

Amber: Because I don't want things to be not that deep between us

Cosmo: Why don’t you?

Amber: I won't ever be able to answer the question of what you want, even if you meet me at the phonebox when we're old, if it is, we're friends, I wanna be able to say I actually know you

Cosmo: I don’t know how to trust like that

Cosmo: but I can try

Amber: you don't have to trust me now, we'll spend more than 2 day trips together first, see how that goes, there's no rush or pressure

Cosmo: It’s not a you thing, you know that yeah

Amber: It's okay, you phrased it very carefully, I understand you'd find it hard to trust anyone else you were getting to know too

Cosmo: Make it sound more calculating 😏

Amber: I was trying to make it sound like you're not as bad with words as you think!

Amber: because you're not, in my humble opinion

Cosmo: I’m not sure I’d call your opinion humble

Cosmo: but I’ll still take it, tah

Amber: I'm open to trying new things too

Amber: maybe I could be humble…

Cosmo: 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Cosmo: Maybe

Cosmo: Your hippie brethren would like it

Amber: Oh fuck you're right! 😠 Well now you've made me wanna not follow through with it

Cosmo: I won’t point out that not following through is right up their street too 😜

Amber: Maybe don't, pointing out ways they can feel superior to others is very up their street though, MAYBE even above all else

Cosmo: Yeah, the humility is just a guise for the overriding smugness, obviously

Amber: I couldn't argue with you if you wanted me to

Amber: not about how self-righteous hippies can be, and especially not tonight

Cosmo: What’s happened/happening tonight?

Amber: My parents have been bugging me to spend more time here because I rarely do unless it’s eating and sleeping, like a hotel, so I am, but it’s

Amber: feel free to fill in the unspeakable blank yourself

Cosmo: I’m sorry we can’t go swimming

Cosmo: and that I’ve been talking about myself this whole time, clearly, Jesus

Cosmo: Where’s your favourite place there? You should hide there

Amber: I talk about myself all the time way more often, it’s fine

Cosmo: I’m not my favourite topic of conversation, I’m never trying to be that guy

Cosmo: Don’t you like the hammocks?

Cosmo: It’s not a bad night for it

Amber: Sure, but you’re not my most hated topic of conversation, far from it, meaning I can’t really be 😠

Amber: it’s a beautiful night but too early in it to hide away when the goal was to be social and appease my parents

Cosmo: Is it a long list? Or am I flattered? 🤔

Cosmo: Don’t they have like 10 boy/girl/themfriends to hang with and keep them entertained

Cosmo: You aren’t going to be around much longer

Amber: 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Amber: Are you flattered or aren’t you?

Amber: And as of right now my dad is single while my mum has a boyfriend, if I was a cynic like you I’d probably think that’s why they’re taking such an interest

Amber: but they always have and I’m always gonna be their 👶🏽

Cosmo: You are an only child, true

Cosmo: Try to block out the people you aren’t actually related to then

Cosmo: Good luck

Amber: Thanks

Cosmo: Hey, I actually meant that

Amber: Okay, boy, that doesn’t mean I know a more sincere way to say thank you right now

Cosmo: It’s not like I can actually help

Cosmo: my family quality time is hardly goals

Amber: mine either any more if this is what it looks like

Cosmo: When did it start to feel different for you?

Amber: When I started to feel different to them

Amber: think for myself

Amber: it started smaller and with 👶🏽 acts of rebellion, of course

Cosmo: I bet you were cute

Amber: I was, whatever timeframe you’re imagining

Amber: because the acts of rebellion weren’t all that long ago, some of them were just really immature, since they made a huge deal about 💬💭 individuality until I decided to use mine deviate from ☮️💙 hardly an adult response in itself

Cosmo: All parents have an ideal and an expectation, they can deny it all they like

Cosmo: if you don’t turn out how they thought, it can take them a long time to deal with it

Amber: I’m not gonna be 👶🏽 enough to wish they’d deal with it faster, or pretend I’ll prove you wrong when it’s my turn, don’t worry

Cosmo: At least if you become a total normie, you also won’t be shocked if your kid decides to hang out at a commune

Cosmo: the 👶🏽 will definitely be pissed off at how unphased you act and the 👶🏽 of rebellion will still be a thing though

Amber: I've seen too many births for them not to be adopted, if I become a terrible person and parent, I can put the blame there instead of taking any responsibility

Cosmo: Fair but a shame

Cosmo: they won’t be as cute for it

Amber: Unfair, they'll be adorable

Cosmo: If you ask for that then you’ll definitely sound like a terrible person 😅

Amber: Shh babies and toddlers just are, I won't need to do a special request

Cosmo: You’re used to the plastic ones that don’t shit, puke and scream all the time, I reckon

Amber: They're not cute, they're slightly creepy

Amber: [photographic evidence making them look as creepy as we can in the dark in the hammocks like see]

Cosmo: Is your ma trying to prepare them for a rosemary’s baby situation what the fuck is that

Amber: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Cosmo: At least they can’t chat shit at you all night

Cosmo: unless they can, then you need to throw them in the camp fire

Amber: I can't believe I have to tell you again to stop trying to hex me

Amber: if we get to 9 something spooky is definitely gonna happen

Cosmo: s’what I’m really doing here, obviously

Amber: 🧙🏽‍♂️

Cosmo: Never seen ‘em

Cosmo: he’s the best one though, right?

Amber: I’ve not either, so if he isn’t I’m not starting a fight deliberately, I promise

Cosmo: 😏

Cosmo: I’ll ask my nan, she’d know

Amber: I could knock but I think that’s how she’s meant to contact me so it’ll be easier if you do

Cosmo: Moving shit a quartre of an inch isn’t exactly the best means of communication

Amber: not in Dash’s room

Cosmo: Yeah

Amber: if I was a 👻 I’d float myself there

Cosmo: Gutted

Cosmo: don’t you have to haunt where you die

Cosmo: you don’t wanna be stuck with him for eternity

Amber: True, it wouldn’t be worth it to briefly escape him and everyone else for now

Cosmo: You can though

Cosmo: when your parents are satisfied

Cosmo: my room is free

Amber: I’m allowed in your room?

Cosmo: not a blanket rule

Cosmo: but tonight

Amber: Okay

Amber: [she should definitely leave something for him, I’ll have to think what]

Cosmo: thank me later for the better smell, like

Amber: I’ll think of a way to express how deep my gratitude is

Amber: 💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭

Cosmo: One of us having a good night is enough

Amber: it isn’t too late for us both to have a good night

Cosmo: it is

Amber: You’re not someone who gives up that easily

Cosmo: I’m not

Cosmo: I’m not giving in

Amber: then you can turn it around

Cosmo: By myself

Amber: or not, it depends what you want

Cosmo: nah

Amber: Why not? You’re anti moping, right?

Cosmo: I’ve told you, I can’t see you

Amber: I can’t be the only person who’d make you happy, that’d make me too ⭐️ and you’ve also told me I’m not, that you don’t think anybody is

Cosmo: I don’t

Cosmo: but it’s too late and I’m too drunk to pretend I don’t know where I wanna be

Amber: If there’s somewhere you know you wanna be, maybe that’s where you should be

Cosmo: It’s not that simple

Cosmo: and it shouldn’t be

Amber: What’s ever simple? Unless you’re a 👶🏽

Cosmo: Exactly

Cosmo: I can’t just do what I want, because I want to, not me

Amber: that doesn’t mean what you want isn’t important, because you feel like you can’t act on it

Cosmo: It is less important than what I need to do

Cosmo: what I’m going to

Amber: you need to get right with the things you’re ignoring, before it fucks you up

Cosmo: Don’t lecture me

Amber: I’m not trying to

Cosmo: The things I’m ignoring would fuck me up, it’s not the other way round

Amber: I’m sorry

Cosmo: Whatever, you don’t know what you’re talking about, so it doesn’t matter

Amber: Maybe because I don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re being deliberately vague

Cosmo: I’m not going to explain it

Amber: because…?

Cosmo: If you can’t work it out then you don’t need to know

Cosmo: Forget about it

Amber: It’s not a game and we’re not 👶🏽 if you think I should know something, communicate it to me

Cosmo: I don’t want to

Amber: you can’t put the blame on me if you won’t when you know I hate assumptions

Amber: you’re fucking confusing, I could be wrong

Cosmo: You’re more confusing

Amber: No I’m not

Cosmo: You fucking are

Amber: I’m trying to get you to get rid of any confusion!

Cosmo: You’re trying to mediate like you’re a fucking life coach

Amber: I said earlier that’s not what I’m trying to do

Cosmo: You can’t fix my life

Cosmo: why do you think it even needs fixing

Amber: not your life, the night you were having

Amber: it escalated how things usually do with us

Cosmo: I don’t even have a temper

Amber: Maybe it is my fault, and this is another of those I don’t know I’m doing it or can’t help it moments

Cosmo: That’s not what I meant

Cosmo: You do make me angry, frustrated really

Cosmo: I just meant I’m not usually, I wasn’t blaming you

Amber: But what I mean is, I’m used to having to fix things, because they’re already so chaotic, if I didn’t at least try…

Amber: making my parents happy is like, what I’m here for

Cosmo: It isn’t

Cosmo: it shouldn’t be

Amber: It’s not your turn to try and fix how my life is going

Cosmo: If you live for your parents’ happiness, you’re gonna be miserable, trust me

Amber: everyone has a role within their family, I’m the glue in mine

Cosmo: Yeah, everyone does, they’re your mum and dad and your their kid, nothing more

Amber: I don’t wanna make you angry, or frustrated, we should just drop it

Cosmo: Drop what?

Amber: any conversation thread about my parents and the misery you think they’re causing me

Cosmo: Right, you don’t like it when it’s on you

Amber: I don’t like that all you do is run them down

Cosmo: I don’t, you take offence on their behalf ‘cos you know I’m not wrong and clearly some of the ways they treat you are

Amber: You do and I take offense because it's offensive

Cosmo: What have I ever said directly about them?

Cosmo: Fuck all

Amber: I don't want to do this, I said that

Cosmo: You’ve got to say your piece and now we’re done

Cosmo: 👍

Amber: You've said plenty

Cosmo: Bullshit but you tell yourself that, Amber

Amber: If I'm looking back on this later, I'll probably be doing it to remind myself of all the times you've closed off a topic and I've shut up

Cosmo: I’ve stopped talking, the topic is closed and the conversation is over

Cosmo: Have a good night

Amber: Fine

Cosmo: [Question is do you think she would come over/go in his room now? Because she could be there when he gets back, like obvs he’d go sleep elsewhere but it could lead to them actually talking again in the AM when she realizes]

Amber: [I was thinking yeah if she gets drunk and/or high after this convo and especially now because my mischievous plan is that she could stick 9 glow in the dark stars in random hard to find spots in his room since everyone knows they are hard to remove and would annoy him and it's like good luck ignoring that dickhead lol]

Amber: [but would he be at his dad's house cos of it being the weekend?]

Cosmo: [Well I vibe it’s more of a choice now he’s basically an adult anyway he probably wants to spend his evenings with his gf now lbr so I don’t think it’s a stretch to say some weekends he comes home, and some week nights he might see his dad, WHICH REMINDS ME, if he’s in his last year of school, assuming Ireland’s schedule is anything like ours, he’s probably out of school on our timeline, maye some final exams to go in for]

Amber: [tea because clearly Dash is spending like no time at home or with his dad at this point and isn't being forced to unless it's a special occasion like the meet the gf roast and yeah that's a good point it is June so he probably is doing exams rn I wish I knew Ireland's vibe better than I do, I'm totally down for y'all to awkwardly see each other in the morning obvs that do be the shit I love]

Cosmo: [I’m sure it has to be roughly the same but it was worth noting that he’s basically out of school now ‘cos I just realized when we did socials, but exactly, I can’t see their dad making them, he’s not that kind of dad, but obviously they spend loads of football time together and that’s mainly it is honestly the vibe for everything anyway so]

Cosmo: [do you reckon she would have intended to fall asleep there or accidentally did, just nosy lol]

Amber: [definitely an accident and then it's like ! Because no idea if his fam are up and awake even though in my head it's early af]

Cosmo: [soz Ali deffo is even if Billie is having a lie-in lmao, also we know Cosmo is hungover but still has to be up of course]

Amber: [I just imagine Ali is outside so she can't leave via the window or she'll deffo be seen so trying to sneak downstairs and running into him like oh]

Cosmo: [and we’re not not smiling and asking ‘sleep well?’ which we genuinely mean even if we make it sound #bants to cover our surprise/state lmao]

Amber: [soz to you both that her angry face just makes her look adorable because she's genuinely frowning because she's fuming at you boy, but obvs raiding your fruit bowl or bread bin or whatever for an on the go breakfast because what are boundaries]are boundaries?]

Cosmo: [frowns back in what could definitely be construed as a pisstakey manner because doing it OTT but we’re actually feeling it too like what have I done? ‘Help yourself’ again we’re not like DON’T TAKE OUR FOOD BITCH really but it’s in the same tone as before]

Amber: [just the visual of her like peeling an orange or something in an angry manner is sending me tbh, just looking at him like do you have anything real you actually wanna say to me or nah]

Cosmo: [so amusant, just raising our eyebrows like how about you ‘cos you ain’t said shit, and going to make ourselves a protein shake or whatever the fuck]

Amber: [pours self a glass of juice or water, drinks it and washes and dries the cup all in a very deliberate and pointed silence like if you’re not gonna say sorry to me then I’m not gonna say anything, who is letting this teen girl date an old ass man in a bit]

Cosmo: [her permissive parents but can’t bring that up now, the dramatic silence as we just loudly blend this shit up lmao]

Amber: [you gotta go realistically gal but I can’t wait until he finds those really annoying glow in the dark stars lol]

Cosmo: [love that]

Amber: [is she finding out about the 2nd date because of him posting/getting tagged by Ruby on socials or have you got another way in mind? Because I was thinking maybe we should leave it until they’ve been on a few more so it’s more of a thing and they obviously aren’t just friends if that’s how]

Cosmo: [That’s kind of how I imagined it tbh, because there’s no need to talk about every date you go on but if you’re like exclusively dating someone then yeah you’ll have to mention that sooner or later lol]

Amber: [and definitely no need to for you to mention every date he goes on gal especially if you don’t know if it is a date or not because you’d look cray]

Cosmo: [I’m sure you don’t post them usually but it obvs seemed like that’s what Savannah wanted out of the exchange but looking at all his tagged like hmm no doubt lol but anyway, for now texting you a suitable amount of time later but deffo still AM just not immediately]

Cosmo: Are you seriously mad or what

Amber: What do you think

Cosmo: I don’t even know what I said, come on

Amber: Thanks for saying I could use your room, even if you don’t remember

Cosmo: I do remember

Cosmo: I didn’t expect you to be there still this morning but beside the point

Amber: Me either, I wasn’t planning on falling asleep, sorry

Cosmo: No, it’s fine

Cosmo: I offered you a place to stay, I just thought you wouldn’t

Amber: maybe I shouldn’t have but it felt like a good idea last night

Cosmo: Why not?

Cosmo: You got breakfast and a bed to yourself, can’t be all bad

Amber: I thought you’d be in your fancier postcode, it’s your bed and the missing ingredients in that loud blender

Cosmo: I debated it but it was easier to come back here

Cosmo: I can live without my bed and some 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍌🍇🍓🍒🍑🥝

Cosmo: otherwise I wouldn’t have offered

Amber: I won’t launch into a speech about the life saving benefits of 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍌🍇🍓🍒🍑🥝 before you’ve had much more ☕️ you can relax

Cosmo: Wasn’t going on a starbs run

Cosmo: but I’ve got a keep cup for if I do so you can forgive me

Amber: For that, I do forgive you, sure

Cosmo: Well, I’m not gonna beg

Cosmo: Stay in a strop if you’re gonna be like this

Amber: Because I've not done any pouting at you, but I'm not gonna when you like it so much

Cosmo: Shut up I do not

Amber: 😶 But you’re lying

Cosmo: And you’re being moody so it’s 1-1 as far as anti-⭐️s

Amber: I’m not calling another new truce until you start being nicer to me

Cosmo: I’ve not got time to be nice to you this morning

Cosmo: but I wasn’t mean to you anyway, don’t start that again

Amber: Yes you were, but we can talk about it when you’re ready to admit that’s true

Cosmo: For fuck’s sake

Cosmo: Can’t you just be normal? There’s no point having a row over nothing

Amber: if that’s what’s normal, no

Cosmo: What did I actually say that was so upsetting then

Amber: You’re just so stubbornly confrontational

Cosmo: I didn’t say I was perfect

Cosmo: and who are you to call me stubborn

Amber: not knowing who I am to you is a different conversation

Cosmo: You aren’t someone who I’m going to change my entire personality for

Cosmo: no one is

Amber: I don’t want to be that person, but I also don’t wanna be someone who apparently does nothing but annoy you

Cosmo: You’re the one calling me a horrible person, and you get to be mad?

Cosmo: I never said that was all you did, it isn’t

Amber: You’re not a horrible person, you have horrible communication skills and you make me feel like getting under your skin is all I do

Cosmo: Well I don’t think you’re great either

Amber: Petty but clearly true

Cosmo: I don’t know how you think lecturing me more is going to fix anything

Amber: your ignoring it method isn’t going to either

Cosmo: So

Cosmo: are you gonna talk to me and try something that might or what

Amber: Not if you don’t have time, you’re already mad at me, it’ll be worse if I ruin your schedule again

Cosmo: You make me sound like a 👹

Amber: the grumpiest 🐐 maybe

Cosmo: didn’t you say you don’t like the goats?

Cosmo: rude

Amber: 🐓 then, some of them get really 😠

Cosmo: Just call me a dickhead, alright

Cosmo: what animal do you reckon you are then

Amber: Which sea creature is the most irritating?

Cosmo: Jellyfish, I’d say

Cosmo: or some spiky shell thing you accidentally stand on

Amber: You do always accidentally upset me, accurate

Cosmo: You’re skulking about under the sand where I’m trying to paddle

Amber: ask yourself why you’re not noticing me, boy

Cosmo: you’re covered in sand, girl

Amber: You’ve seen me covered in sand before

Cosmo: don’t tread on me as a motto is already taken, sorry

Amber: I’ll think of something

Cosmo: Let me know

Amber: but don’t wait up, you looked like you didn’t sleep as well as me

Cosmo: I appreciate the concern

Cosmo: I’m gonna sweat it out

Amber: I did earlier 🧘🏽‍♀️

Cosmo: You better have cleaned up after yourself

Cosmo: You were in my room not his, remember

Amber: it’s not something I’d forget

Cosmo: the smell is better

Amber: and you don’t have 🕷🕸

Cosmo: Are you scared of them?

Amber: not when I’m in this country, but cobwebs getting stuck in my hair isn’t what I want out of a study spot

Cosmo: 😏 fair enough I reckon

Amber: Are you?

Cosmo: No, not really, there’s plenty around here so they don’t bother me

Amber: I’ll have to leave something other than a rubber spider in your bed, I’ll think about that too, I guess

Cosmo: If you wanna talk about petty

Amber: 😂 I don’t if you’re gonna talk about me

Cosmo: 😶 then

Amber: But really, you won’t even know I was ever there

Cosmo: I’m not worried

Amber: because I did such a good job before, it wasn’t Dash cleaning up what was supposed to be his room

Cosmo: Tah

Amber: I like to leave places how I found them, and your room is nice

Cosmo: ⭐️ for you

Amber: don’t give me sarcastic ⭐️

Cosmo: don’t talk about it, we’ve already agreed

Amber: I’m not talking about it

Cosmo: 👍

Amber: 😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶

Cosmo: I need my hands now anyway, so I’ll talk to you in a bit

Amber: okay

Cosmo: [send a gym selfie like proof like you absolutely do not need to we see you]

Amber: [The levels she would be dying because that's only the 2nd selfie he's ever sent so not expecting that and we all know what he's looking like]

Amber: It's too early for you to be non sarcastically ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Cosmo: The schedule disagrees

Cosmo: and doesn’t stop for a hangover either

Amber: Is sending me selfies part of your schedule now? 😁

Cosmo: even I have time for a click and send

Cosmo: so if you like, sure 🤣

Amber: terms of the truce

Cosmo: okay

Cosmo: what do I get?

Amber: What do you want?

Cosmo: Hmm

Cosmo: What do I think is equal to a 🤳 a day

Amber: I could make you breakfast that’s actually edible

Cosmo: Hey, my breakfast is edible

Cosmo: Not exciting, but definitely edible 😏

Amber: Well, when you want exciting, I can give you that

Cosmo: Alright

Cosmo: You owe me

Amber: tomorrow?

Cosmo: Tomorrow, alright

Amber: practice your not hating it face

Cosmo: you’re the one who can’t control her face

Amber: What?! Yes I can

Cosmo: Bollocks can you 😂

Cosmo: You’re beyond an open book

Amber: maybe that’s how I am around you because I don’t like it when you misunderstand me

Cosmo: I’m not complaining

Amber: I’m only gonna accept constructive criticism after you’ve eaten, anything else is getting pouted at

Cosmo: Generous

Cosmo: as you think I love it so much

Amber: I want us to be friends again, obviously

Cosmo: Me too

Cosmo: so I won’t make you pout before breakfast, promise

Amber: and I won’t say that sounds too good to be true

Cosmo: Have faith, like

Amber: in you or me?

Cosmo: 🤔

Cosmo: Both

Amber: 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

Cosmo: Do you believe in anything like that?

Amber: I don’t know, sometimes

Amber: but at other times it feels like wishful thinking

Cosmo: I get you

Amber: What about you?

Cosmo: I think I do, yeah

Cosmo: Plenty of things in my life make it so I kinda have to

Amber: that makes sense

Cosmo: It does?

Amber: it’s a realistic reason to believe in something, which means it’s a very you reason

Cosmo: Well you either believe because you need the hope or you feel #blessed, right?

Amber: I think so

Cosmo: and we all know which one I am

Amber: Likewise

Cosmo: I haven’t got Beckham level tattoos or anything though, just FYI

Amber: not yet anyway, but when you turn 18, right?

Cosmo: Totally, full sleeve ASAP

Amber: Everyone really would start calling me a bad influence

Cosmo: I don’t know who’s 👀 and 📢

Amber: A LOT of people have their eye on you, football star

Cosmo: Just my feet

Amber: it’s a very painful place to be tattooed, you’d wanna go easier on yourself for the first time unless you’re trying to put yourself off

Cosmo: I guess I’ll keep my 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 off my body and to myself then

Amber: how humble of you

Cosmo: Not really, I’ve not exactly got his body for it

Amber: You’ve got yours which I have 👀 and could 📢 about

Cosmo: Ha, shut up

Amber: Because I don’t wanna embarrass you, not because it’s untrue

Cosmo: There’s every need for protein shakes, tall = good but scrawny never is

Amber: but you’re not, you showed me the proof earlier

Amber: 💪🏽⭐️

Cosmo: I try

Cosmo: Anyway, what are you doing today?

Amber: I’m on my way to a friend’s house, she’s sick so I’m gonna stay with her until her mama gets off work later tonight

Cosmo: That’s nice

Cosmo: you offering your food services and making her 🥣?

Amber: I made soup before I left but I don’t know if I’ll be eating it by myself

Cosmo: Won’t say I’m now wondering how bad a cook you are

Amber: shh, she was throwing up BEFORE

Cosmo: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Amber: and hopefully not contagious either, or I’ll raincheck breakfast

Cosmo: your mum not have masks?

Amber: of course and I always have one with me if I’m sick but isn’t it rude to arrive like 😷 when she is and I’m there to take her mind off it?

Cosmo: Potentially

Cosmo: let me know if you’re dying then

Amber: maybe crossing myself will work

Cosmo: do you know the patron saint of sick people?

Amber: I don’t, but now I’m gonna find out

Cosmo: You should

Cosmo: there’s usually some specific ritual you have to do, you’d like it

Amber: If you don’t hear from me again it’s because there’s so many patron saints and I’m still trying to research them all

Cosmo: If she’s not up for being decent company, you’re welcome

Amber: ⚽️ has one! Did you know?

Cosmo: Didn’t but not surprised

Cosmo: tell me

Amber: There wasn’t anyone representing you until 2010, I don’t really understand why this specific man was chosen, it says because he represents values that are developed through sport like fairness, determination etc and he’s linked to youth, but in his life he was running orphanages and a school for deaf-mute girls, nothing to do with ⚽️

Cosmo: I can kinda see it

Cosmo: the academies are a bit like orphanages

Cosmo: that’s cool

Amber: that’s a sad idea, worse than when I pictured the hunger games

Cosmo: Not me

Cosmo: it’s a well-known poverty out for working-class kids

Cosmo: posh boys don’t play football

Amber: Oh, maybe that is the connection they were going for

Cosmo: God knows

Amber: what do posh boys play?

Cosmo: Rugby, golf, tennis…

Cosmo: most everything that they think is ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ and not too physical and classless

Amber: Crazy golf does look fun though, we should do it next

Amber: ⛳️🤡

Cosmo: We don’t have to wear the get-up of actual golf

Cosmo: I’m down

Amber: 🥺 I was looking forward to seeing you in it!

Cosmo: 😏

Cosmo: okay, okay, I will if you can

Cosmo: [god I hope I have a photo that works lmao]

Amber: I’ll figure it out, I’m friends with a LOT of preppy 🤓s

Cosmo: You are halfway there yourself, checks out 🤓

Amber: You’re lucky I’m back in a good mood

Cosmo: 😁

Amber: but I won’t be if you can’t fit me in soon

Cosmo: I doubt we can do that before school

Amber: Don’t worry, I won’t use my pout to force you to skip school

Cosmo: Not this close to being done

Cosmo: Definite bad influence behaviour

Amber: 👼🏽

Cosmo: I don’t want to fail now

Cosmo: even if it doesn’t really matter

Cosmo: still be embarrassing

Amber: Not wanting to fail is enough of a reason, even if you do have a safety net that technically means you’ll be fine

Amber: so if I have to miss you for a while and make do with your promised daily selfie, it’s okay, I’ll stop myself sending any distracting pics back

Cosmo: ** dream job, not safety net

Cosmo: You’re gonna miss me?

Amber: You’re, like, my favourite person to hang out with, I know I’ve essentially told you that before

Cosmo: I guess I’m not used to hearing it put so honestly

Amber: it sounds like you need better friends besides me

Cosmo: oh yeah, my friends are definitely the sort for deep and meaningfuls 🤣

Cosmo: I’m alright for them telling me they love me or whatever tah

Amber: You’re welcome that I came through your window

Cosmo: Your loss for not giving me the chance to thank you properly

Amber: maybe, but my walk is over and now I’ve got nursing to do

Amber: you’ll have to take the opportunity thank me over breakfast

Cosmo: Bright and early then, hippie

Amber: Should I use the door for once?

Cosmo: If you’re not painting a red cross on yours, yeah, you should

Amber: I’ll think of a secret knock to do 9 times, giving you plenty of time to do it yourself, put on a mask or say a prayer

Cosmo: I’ll be ready

Amber: Have a good day and night

Cosmo: Nerd

Amber: bringing 📚 is a just in case thing that I’m not gonna apologise for 👋🏽

[inscribed-in-asteroids]

AN: Here’s chapter three!

Title: The Ripple Effect

Characters: Hordak, Entrapta, Odessa, features others including OCs

Pairing: Entrapdak

Rating: M

Read on AO3.

                                                        Tower

Odessa has her gear prepped to go. Extravehicular Mobility Units were not used too often anymore, however, Entrapta and Hordak took extra precautions with the EMUs, and have even modified Tristan’s and Hydrangea’s spacesuits as well, to account for their height, weight, and metabolic rate. Darla had been upgraded continuously throughout the years, but has since been retired for this mission. Which didn’t bother Odessa in the slightest, as her parents believed she should have a ship of her own.

Celeste sits in the hangar, a cavern that had been excavated to accommodate for the growing number of people that now resided on Beast Island. The chatter of pookas echo through the vicinity. Her uncles had learned to live on the island, and that included taming some of the beasts that resided here. Pookas were not too dissimilar from the usual pet once their behavior was understood. She notes a few resting on Celeste’s roof, chittering at her as she walks beneath them. Odessa glides her fingers along the metallic surface, “Hey, it’s been a while since I used you.”

The ship whirs on, responsive to touch, but only from the genetic makeup of those that have been programmed into her system. Her parents, her siblings, Tristan and Hydrangea, and herself, are the ones that have been given permission to access her ship. However, it’s meant to be hers and no one else’s.

“This is so exciting!” Entrapta shouts. Hordak strides over, Entrapta shuffling beside him on her hair. Her father lugs heavy equipment bags with ease. Settling them on the ground, Entrapta beams at the two of them, “I wonder what our baby will find on the flagship!”

“It may be overrun with vegetation,” Hordak says. “None of us have bothered to go to it since the war.”

“There were collections of weapons and tech on the flagship as well that might be useful,” Entrapta says. She turns to Odessa, handing her a communicator. “I hacked into the mainframe of the ship and managed to give you a map of it, using old data from my past devices to navigate it. This one should be better, and I also updated its ability to detect heat signatures.”

Odessa looks at the screen, before smiling at her mother, “Thanks, Mom. This is going to be helpful. But, did none of you ever check the ship once Adora helped to defeat Prime?”

Hordak’s ears flick down for a moment, “It was no longer a concern, at the time. We only regrouped the rest of my brothers that had been left aboard. And when your mother and I had gotten closer to finishing up the repairs for Beast Island, turning the Fright Zone into New Chelicerata, and aiding everywhere else, we had not believed it necessary to investigate it further. There simply was no purpose to a flagship that was decimated of its original functions.”

Odessa nods, “It makes sense that it wouldn't work any longer. It’s hard to do that when a large amount of trees are protruding out of it.”

“With that, the atmosphere is not safe to breathe, of course,” Entrapta adds. “I have ensured that your oxygen tanks will last for nine hours—an improvement from the usual amount!—but you should be cautious, regardless of how confident you are that the tanks will not deplete their air supply too fast.”

Hordak opens the hatch, walking into the ship. He places all the equipment down, hooking the bags onto steel clasps. He points to weapons that he lines up along the wall, pressing a button for them to stick to magnetically, “Should you need any of them, they’re here.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Odessa replies. Walking up to him, she grins, resembling her mother, “I think we’ll be fine, but it’s good to be prepared, right?”

Hordak smiles at her, patting the top of her head, smoothing back her hair. Affectionately, Odessa pushes her head up into his palm, the way she used to as a child.

“I know we said we’d only be here for six weeks, but I do appreciate being allowed to pursue this,” she tells him.

“Your mother and I wouldn’t discourage you from curiosity,” Hordak replies.

Odessa beams up at him, shaking with excitement.

Her friends arrive ten minutes later, on time. They know how punctual Odessa and her family are, and after making her wait once, they learned to not do it again.

Entrapta, excited, bounds over to them, “Look! I upgraded your suits!”

“Ooh, cool!” Tristan says, holding up his. “I love the sheen going on.”

“I thought you might!”

Hydrangea grins at her, “Ooh, you changed up the texture for my fingers!”

“I even added these new features where you can get a snack and drink if you need it,” Entrapta tells them, explaining how to access it. Tristan and Hydrangea clap at her innovative features, thankful at her thoughtfulness.

Hordak, pleased at their display of gratitude, walks over to them, “In case of emergency, we have extra suits tucked away in the hatch, in addition to oxygen tanks stacked in storage. The distance is not far, but we made sure that you will all be comfortable on your journey to the flagship.”

“Thank you—both of you,” Hydrangea says. Entrapta hugs her tight, mimicking Scorpia surprisingly well.

Hordak pats Tristan’s shoulder, “The three of you be mindful. We will be on the communicator whenever one of you is in trouble, and we will send a portal your way.”

“Yes sir,” Tristan says. “We wouldn’t put Odessa in danger.”

Hordak smiles, touched, “I know you wouldn’t.”

                                                                 -

Odessa always feels at home in space.

The endless darkness, speckled with shining stars, leaves her breathless each time. Space is too amazing to leave unexplored. There’s so much left to find out there.

She turns to her friends, “It won’t be long now. The flagship went further away, but thankfully it remains reachable.”

Hydrangea flips back her hair, “Des, do you believe we’ll find anything? The flagship had been overrun with plants, and I’m quite sure it had grown.”

“I don’t doubt there’s an abundance of it,” Odessa replies. She grins at her, “But that’s where your powers come in.”

Tristan zips up Hydrangea’s spacesuit, lifting her hair, “We’ll need to make sure there aren’t any living organisms on it. That thing’s been floating around Etheria for two whole decades. It’s likely made itself home to another alien creature by now.”

Odessa holds out her pad, “Whatever is on there will show up on the monitor. But, frankly, we shouldn’t find much else except for whatever bodies were left behind.”

Hydrangea walks over to the window, looking out. She hasn’t been up here for a good few years. There are shimmering sights beyond where they are, and she wonders if they’ll find what Odessa is looking for. Her friend has a determination that knows no bounds, but she doesn’t want to risk that there’s a chance she might not succeed. Although, she should give Odessa more credit. If an experiment or hypothesis proves incorrect, she is the sort to accept that it isn’t possible and move on to the next project. Hydrangea glances at Odessa, red eyes fixated on the pad, brows knitted together as she maps out the best course to head in.

Smiling, Hydrangea touches her shoulder, “You’re excited.”

Odessa grins at her, “Of course! It’s been a long time coming since you, Tris and I were on an adventure together.”

Tristan leans against the wall, “Hopefully, this won’t turn into a mess like last time.”

“Last time we were younger—inexperienced and kind of dumb,” Odessa answers. “We are perfectly equipped this time around. We’re not going to be reckless when we land.”

Hydrangea giggles, “You have to admit, the mess made it a little more exciting. And even then, we didn’t get into too much trouble. We just got lost.”

Odessa looks at Tristan, “Besides, why are you worried? You winged it when we were on R-175. You were more than fine.”

“Just because I know how to improvise doesn’t mean I’d like to do it again. I’d like to take it easy,” he replies. Moving over to them, he smiles, “I’d rather not play babysitter to the two of you.”

“Ooh, what an adult!” Odessa says, squishing her cheeks together. She then folds her arms, smirking, “This is coming from the guy who sulked at not having the last bowl of ice cream.”

“Uh, I called dibs and you swiped it, right under my nose. Yeah, I was gonna be a little upset.”

“Doesn’t help your case, Tris. Honestly, you’re not much older than Des and I,” Hydrangea says.

“Yet I know that if something goes wrong, I’ll probably get more shit for it. ‘You’re almost 18! This is on you!’” Tristan mocks, wagging a finger. He crosses his arms, “Like the two of you can't make up your own minds.”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head,” Odessa replies, pointing to the communicator. “You know my parents never discouraged us from exploring, and they do know we’re all capable of making our own decisions. I’m leading this expedition, so if anything does happen, it’s on me.”

Hydrangea leans over to check the monitor. She looks at Odessa, “Do you know where we’ll be landing on the Velvet Glove?”

Tristan snickers, “That name I swear…”

Shaking her head, Hydrangea feigns a sigh, "So sad. I wonder if he compensated for something.”

“Do you think that’s what he called his dick?”

“No, that’s the name of Horde Prime brand condoms,” Odessa says. “His dick was probably something like ‘The Illustrious Rod of Justice.’”

Giggling, Hydrangea adds, “He did go around ‘impregnating’ hundreds of galaxies. That guy had a loooot of repressed sexual feelings, I think.”

“Yeah, like, he did and didn’t?” Tristan says. “He was bizarre. He got boners over rules and oppressed people with his holier-than-thou morality.”

“Seriously. Did he have shitty parents that couldn’t go ‘hey son, maybe bullying people into following your rigid, black and white laws is pretty messed up’ or what?”

“Well, whatever he was,” Odessa says, looking out the window, “Prime’s remnants are still in the Velvet Glove. His, hopefully, very much intact and preserved genetic material.”

“Des, that sounded so wrong!” Hydrangea laughs.

Tristan makes jerking off motions and makes a ‘sploosh’ sound.

Odessa grins at them, turning back to the monitor, “But to answer your question, my father informed me of an open bay area that should still be functioning. We’ll dock there.”

Tristan bends down, voice low, “By the way, we’re all aware of the two red dots above us, right?”

Odessa whispers, “Yes, it’s been there for a while. But I didn’t want to alert anything to make sure we could sneak up on it.”

Hydrangea nods, “How should we proceed?”

“Gea, leave for the main corridor. Send an electric shock through the air duct to incapacitate, not kill the intruders or damage Celeste. Tris, you stay to the side and be alert in case that doesn’t knock it out—take my spear from me. I’ll stand here to look vulnerable. Countdown now to 120 seconds.”

Tristan removes her weapon without trouble. Hydrangea walks out of the cockpit, the doors whooshing open and closed. Glancing over his shoulder, Tristan meets Odessa’s eyes.

Suddenly, sparks of electricity crackle into the vent. Cries of shock reverberate through the duct, followed by loud banging as something hurries along within. Odessa narrows her eyes as Tristan rushes toward her, both stances offensive.

From the opening, two bodies fall down in front of them. Electricity fluffs up tufts of fur, as Adam and Molly look up at them.

Hydrangea bolts back inside, “Hey, what came fr— Oh!”

The three look down at two of the quadruplets.

Adam grins, lightning coursing over his whiskers, “What’s up, everyone! Fuck Prime, am I right?”

Molly groans, thunking her forehead onto the floor.

                                                              -

“I am so, so, so sorry!” Hydrangea says again, handing Molly and Adam packets of food. “I do hope the shock wasn’t too much.”

Adam waves a hand, “Nah, we’re fine, aren’t we?”

Molly sighs, wishing she was anywhere else.

Tristan kneels down in front of her, “Why didn’t you tell us you were here?”

At Molly's silence, Adam grins, scratching his cheek, “Weeeeell, you see, I thought it would be fun if we came to visit. I saw Odessa’s ship, thought, ‘Hey, that seems cool!’ so I got in—”

“—I tried to stop him.” Molly adds, giving a small glare to the floor. “But he was climbing in anyway—”

“And ta-daaaa, we’re here! In space,” Adam finishes. “It was really nothing more than the lust for adventure.”

“That was very dangerous,” Hydrangea scolds, placing a hand on her forehead. “We could’ve killed you by accident.”

“Now it will be on purpose,” Odessa hisses, stalking toward them. “You two fools could’ve endangered your lives, that of my crew, and neither of you have experience in space travel. You are liabilities that may impede our progress.”

“Odessa,” Tristan begins. “Your parents provided us with extra supplies. It’ll be okay.”

“I have to agree with Odessa,” Hydrangea says, staring at Adam and Molly. “What the two of you did was irresponsible.”

Molly remains mute, looking away.

Adam stands up, “Hold on, we'll be okay keeping up with the three of you.”

“That’s not the point,” Odessa snarls, hair slightly curling. “I don’t even know how you snuck inside Celeste, much less evaded detection for almost three days.”

“See? We’re very quiet! You didn’t even notice us until now. I think we’ve proven our capability to you,” Adam insists.

Arms in a placating position, Tristan remarks, “I think we need to take time to reflect on the next course of action. Adam, why don’t you and Molly go wait in one of the rooms?”

“Aww, that’s no fun,” Adam says, irritated.

“If it’s fun you want, I’m more than willing to tear it into you,” Odessa threatens.

“Yeesh! Okay, okay, I’m going,” Adam complains. But he exits the cockpit to enter a room down the hall.

Tristan stretches out a hand to Molly. She looks at it for a moment before taking it in hers. Guiding her to the door, Tristan nods at Molly, who gives him a small smile.

Once gone, Odessa says aloud, “Celeste, lock the two of them in their quarters.”

“Affirmative,” the ship answers.

Hydrangea sighs, claws rubbing her temples, “I have to admit, this isn’t the sort of conflict I was expecting immediately.”

Tristan returns Odessa’s staff to her, “Perhaps we should consider allowing them to tag along.”

Frowning, Odessa glares out the window. Arms folded, she shakes her head, “I would prefer not.”

“It may serve better to deal with them directly,” Tristan says. “I doubt you would want to allow Adam free rein of Celeste.”

“Ooh, yeah, that would not be good,” Hydrangea agrees.

Growling deep in her chest, Odessa throws her hands up in the air, “Fine! Fine, but if they step one toe out of line, I’m leaving them on the flagship. Don’t think I won’t!”

“Got it,” they say together, very aware she’s serious.

                                                            -

Reaching their destination, Celeste is docked. Odessa steps out onto the flagship, staring around at the expanse of white and grey. Once sleek walls have indeed been overgrown by flora—vines weaving through its corpse, leaves scraping its sides. There’s no oxygen in space, but they were correct to assume it’s only grown. The plants were called forth by She-Ra, and seem to contain a magical property that prevents them from wilting in zero gravity.

Odessa collects a sample in a small test tube. Plugging it closed, she says, “No one touch anything. The flagship isn’t moving, but there’s no certainty that Prime had not built back-up systems into it. Should one of you find something of merit, call me over.”

Adam pumps his fists, “Whoo-hoo! Let’s go exploring!”

Rolling her eyes, she turns around to face him, “Adam. Look at me. Are you looking? Look at me. Do. Not. Touch. Anything.”

“You just told everyone that,” Adam replies.

“Yes, but I have to make direct eye contact with you to ensure that you will, indeed, in the back of your brain, not touch anything.”

“Relaaaax,” Adam says, wrapping his arm around her, ignoring her scathing leer. “You’re talking to the King of Cool. I’m not going to mess anything up.”

“You better not,” Odessa threatens before stalking away. Not peering over her shoulder, she adds, “Tris, take Molly. Gea, take Adam.”

Pulling out her own pad—quickly modified by Odessa due to unwanted company—Hydrangea smiles at him, “Let’s go see what’s around, hm? I think heading east leads upwards to the elevators.”

“Sounds fun!” Adam says, breaking into a sprint. “I’ll race you!”

“Adam, that leads to the supply closets!” Hydrangea yells, running after him.

Tristan looks down at Molly, “Why don’t we go west, then?”

“Yeah, um, that sounds okay…” she whispers, feeling cramped in the EMU.

He smiles at her, unsure of what to talk about. Settling on silence, they walk in the opposite direction.

                                                            -

Hydrangea catches up with Adam, “Hey! You can’t go wandering off like that.”

Adam grins, “I know where I’m going. I have an excellent sense of direction.”

Shaking her head, Hydrangea walks alongside him, “Alright, but I think following the map will yield better results. This mission is very significant to Odessa, and we should make an effort to find what she needs.”

He glances at her, “What exactly are we looking for?”

“Pardon?”

Shrugging, Adam says, “She didn’t specify what she needed, so how can we put in any effort for things we’re unsure of?”

“Honestly, none of us are too sure of what we may find here. The flagship has been abandoned for so long, whatever may have been here might not even hold up anymore.”

“If I was her, I’d go scout for any leftover weapons.”

“Why’s that?”

“They wouldn’t be of any use floating around in the nether regions of space. Wouldn’t her family want them?”

“Her family would not,” Hydrangea states. There have been no wars, no battles, no unrest on Etheria since the Horde invasion came about. She knows that Odessa’s father and uncles have done their best to make reparations for past injustices towards her people, and what she is aware of is bringing back weaponry may instill fear and distrust again.

It had not been easy the first few years—the first decade—since Hordak and his brothers made a genuine attempt to make Etheria their home. Etherians, understandably, had very little faith and charity towards the Horde clones. Glimmer, Bow, and Adora vouched that things will change between the two factions of race. Adora assured the people that Prime’s defeat would bring a new dawn for them all, and Catra, having been Hordak’s very own second-in-command, stepped forward to aid him in making peace with the Etherians. For it did not matter that she was She-Ra’s lover. She, too, had caused destruction. Had tormented and ravaged Etheria, and even admitted that she was the mastermind behind the majority of attacks, much to Hordak’s chagrin. There were many villages who remembered her for that.

The idea of bringing Horde weapons onto Etheria would have consequences. The years go by, and she knows plenty of Etherians who welcomed them eventually. As of now, it’s nearly the majority. They have integrated into Etherian society remarkably well. Known in their respective communities, Talon and Hordak are two, in particular, that chose partners who were as equally recognized for their achievements in the realms of magic and science, respectfully. She knew Entrapta had not been accepted prior to the war, and had to prove herself after. Nyxia, from what she’d been told, had raised several eyebrows for taking a Horde clone as her husband, though no one commented on it. To her face, at least.

Hydrangea comprehends the value of peace. The lack of war was not the issue, for dissent can be riled without impending doom. Civil unrest depends on power structures. Everything continues to hinge on the belief that harm is not what the Horde desires.

She holds up the pad, showing Adam a different route, “We can go to another room. You can even pick.”

“Fucking awesome,” Adam says, pointing to another hallway.

                                                            -

Tristan continues along through the hallway, minding his business.

Molly does the same, but with an inclination toward anxiety, her thoughts bounce back and forth between not caring that he’s here, and wondering how anyone can stand her being here. Adam had to go and sneak into the cargo hold. Adam had to drag her along by grabbing her against her will and making her jump in. Adam had to insist on climbing into the vents instead of saying they were onboard, wound up electrocuted, and got Odessa mad at them.

Odessa isn’t a person she knows too well, but Molly would prefer not being viewed as a pest by the one leading them into unknown territory. She wouldn’t blame Odessa if she did abandon them on this empty hunk of junk.

“We’re coming up to a divide, which way should we go?” Tristan asks, breaking her from the reverie.

Molly crosses her arms, “I don’t know…”

“Do you want to go left?”

Glancing that direction, she frowns. Shaking her head, she says, “I’d rather go right. If that’s okay!”

Tristan smiles, “Right it is.”

Keeping up with his long strides, Molly sighs to herself.

“Not exactly what you planned on,” he states, attempting, once more, to make conversation.

“No, I definitely did not expect to be out in space for three days,” Molly complains, crossing her arms. “I don’t really care for it.”

“Space travel isn’t for everyone,” he says. “I’ve only gotten to go a handful of times.”

Looking up at him, she lightly clears her throat, “When?”

“When I was younger, I went on a trip with Gea, Des, and her parents. It was amazing! Normally, we talked with her via telecommunicator.”

“All the time?”

“Every day if possible.”

Molly gives a small nod, “That sounds nice…”

“It was,” Tristan replies. “Granted, like I said, it was a handful of times. Our parents weren’t too keen on Gea and I being gone for extended periods of time.”

“What was the longest you were gone?”

“Five months. Half a year was too much for them, I think,” Tristan laughs. Not that he would’ve minded being gone for that time, or longer. There was so much out there to investigate, it didn’t make sense to stay in one place. That, and he didn’t venture out of his room unless it was to spend time with his friends. He’s considered a homebody by his parents, but truthfully, he doesn’t spend much time at Salineas.

“Right,” Molly remarks to herself. “There was a festival a couple years back. You and your friends weren’t there.”

“Right, the Fresian Festival,” Tristan replies. He smiles at her. “I’m amazed you remembered.”

“Oh! People commented on it. I only just connected the dots,” she says, chuckling nervously.

“Even so,” Tristan says. Stopping in front of a large entrance, he reaches his hand out. Ensuring there’s no barrier, he walks through. A table sits, unobtrusive, in the center. He inspects it all around, kneeling to peer at its underside.

Molly rubs her arm, feeling more stifled. She tilts her head, “What is a table doing here?”

“Not sure,” Tristan replies. He looks at its edge, noting the faintest outline of a pad. He shrugs, “It must’ve been used for something.”

“I guess it’d be bad if we checked…”

“It may not work anymore,” he says. “It could be a control pad for navigation, or releasing dozens of soldiers at once.”

“Maybe it’s a hologram for entertainment,” Molly lightly jokes.

He grins at her, “Maybe!”

Returning the smile, she clicks her claws against each other, “Um, well, Odessa said not to touch anything. So we should probably leave it alone.”

“We’ll bring her back to look at it,” Tristan replies.

Exiting the odd room, they begin down the other corridor.

                                                             -

Dangling from wires that stretch deep into black, hundreds of bodies hang suspended where Odessa walks. Being the main goal for this expedition, she steps past several columns before pausing in front of a random case. Wiping off imaginary dust, observing the weathered face inside, she wonders if it’s even viable. The system has continued to function. She spent the first few hours merely inspecting an aspect of her life that she only heard about. The weapons were kept in storage, and she found the pool of liquid where her father had been stripped of all free will. Further along, she encountered an odd room with a single table, its buttons and pad faintly outlined. Pressing it, it opened a hole where copious amounts of surgical tools were kept, laid in neat rows. She took them for herself, and some were medical instruments she never saw before.

With that accomplished, she ventured out to find this room. Approaching another container, she looks within to see a similar individual with long, white locks, eyes closed. Prime. Or one of him. All of these must be him. The actual Prime was never retrieved from the chasm of the flagship. No one wanted to bury him, and she doesn’t blame them. She wouldn’t either.

But this… this is another of his forms. An impressive specimen, she must admit. Even in this state, at his peak, he would’ve stood out among her father and uncles. Likely as a way of preserving their species’ capabilities of agility and strength, while keeping their physical bodies weaker than his own to overpower and dominate.

Touching the glass, she presses her face closer to the vitrine. Her father told her that he’s dead, but there had been a way of accessing his memories. Prime had done it before. She surmised that his previous bodies were kept on hand for knowledge. The body may be inanimate, but the brain, if preserved, could be examined. A corpse with a living mind. Its own special little coffin. Such a thing would frighten Etherians, who, despite their alliance with her people, still have a difficult time comprehending—or, rather, accepting—what science can do.

Odessa touches the black pad wrapping around the case. It turns on, and she balls her hand in a light fist, gently pricking her palm with her fingernails, uncertain of what to do. Rubbing her thumbs underneath her fingertips, she decides to press down on a few buttons. Nothing. She slides her digits over the longer, colored section, and it hums with energy. The vitrine lights up within, haloing the body. Its eyes remain closed but she sees his form better.

Odessa taps a few more combinations, and it glows even brighter—

Right before it opens and spills the contents out onto the ground.

“Shit,��� she murmurs to herself, kneeling in front of the body. Glancing at its case, she knows there’s no way to put it back in. Tugging its face toward her, she inspects the body. It really is remarkable how preserved it is for all the decades it's been deceased.

Setting down her bag, she pulls out cotton swabs to collect skin samples, trims off claws, and pulls out teeth with a plier. Then she stares at the head for a good moment or two.

Pulling out the trephine, a gift from the table earlier, she drills a hole in the head to relieve pressure, as well as to remove excess liquid so that nothing sprays out at her. Once complete, having opted for a full removal, she puts away her tool for favor of a small, circular blade. Shearing off the hair, and some wires, from the scalp, Odessa marks where to cut with a pen. She digs into the skin and stops for a second when it makes contact with bone. Clicking it on, the blade begins to gingerly whir, and she follows the path.

Brain fluid and blood seep out onto the floor, mixing with the liquid from the vitrine. Carefully, she pulls away the bone flap, and inspects the brain for possible damage. Taking out a small scalpel, she slices at the thin layers of membrane that cling to the inside of the skull. The meninges cut, more cerebrospinal fluid spills out. Tugging it out inch by inch, she snips the connection at the brainstem and spinal cord; Odessa holds the brain in her free hand, its weight sinking into her palm. Holding up the organ, she inspects it: perfectly intact.

Laying it down on a towel, she wipes her hands off the edge of it. Odessa brings out a large jar from her bag, filling the container with any of the remaining liquid from the vitrine. She needs every bit of it though.

Holding down her helmet’s interphone, she says, “Tristan, do you copy?”

“I do, what’s up?”

“Can you come to my location and help me with something?”

“I’ll be right over,” he says.

It doesn’t take him long before he arrives, and the first thing she hears is Molly yell.

“What is that?! Is that a body?!” she demands, jumping back in disgust.

Odessa crosses her arms, “Yes, obviously.”

Tristan walks over, looking down at it. Then he turns to her, smirking, “I hope he was dead already.”

“He was,” Odessa smirks back. “I need you to move some liquid left in the vitrine into the jar behind me. I took some but it needs more.”

Molly wrinkles her nose, bothered by the nonchalance displayed by the two of them.

Tristan moves his hands in a flowing arc, pouring the water into the jar until it reaches the top. Odessa spins the cap back on, pleased with her work.

Groaning, Molly keeps her eyes on the door.

Tucking all her items with care into her bag, Odessa says, “What did you find?”

“We came across a room with a table in it, but we didn’t touch it,” Tristan replies.

"Was it before you came here?"

"Yes, why?"

Odessa gives her bag a slight shake, "These were from there!"

"Nice," he says. "Good thing we didn't open it, that'd be anticlimactic."

“Anything else?”

“We came across the kitchens, the holding cells, the area where it seems clones are born, all that fun stuff,” he says.

“Interesting,” Odessa answers. “It seems that the flagship was to keep the amount of soldiers he had, and different areas were few and far in between.”

“Seems to be,” Tristan says, walking with her and Molly to the exit. “I guess interior decorating wasn’t his thing.”

Odessa laughs, “No, I suppose not.”

Heading down the hall, they contact Hydrangea, who says she is nearby Celeste. Odessa is led by Tristan to the room with the single table, and she remarks, “I wish there were more instruments in here."

"Didn't you already have these things on hand with you?"

"Yes, but it doesn't hurt to have more!"

“I guess...” Molly murmurs.

Continuing down the corridor, Odessa asks, “Did you explore that area?”

Tristan shakes her head, “No, Molly and I checked everything else. Gea, maybe?”

“Hey, Gea, did you happen to investigate the northern corridor?” Odessa queries, clicking her interphone on.

“No, I didn’t,” her voice comes through the intercom.

“Tris, why don’t you two head back to Celeste? I’ll only take a minute. And for the love of all that’s good, keep Adam from the controls.”

“Will do, Captain,” he replies.

With that, she takes her leave. The hallway is covered with the faintest layer of dust, floating, never settling onto the surface. Odessa notes cracks in the walls, stepping over foliage that wraps through the metal. She finds a room filled with keepsakes, creatures and objects lining the walls. At the forefront, she notices shattered glass on the ground. Bending down, she raises it to her eye level, its surface poorly shining. The colors are strong, however, and it seems to have formed a particular shape at one point.

Compelled, Odessa gathers every broken fragment and places it inside her bag.

                                                              -

“What is it?” Hydrangea asks, combing through Tristan’s hair. They have bid their unwelcome guests, as Odessa puts it, goodnight, and are congregated in Hydrangea's sleeping quarters.

“I’m not sure,” Odessa says, holding up a small piece of glass. “It doesn’t seem to hold much value anymore, that’s for certain.”

Tristan tilts his head down, letting Hydrangea brush better, “A treasure from a conquered planet. Doesn’t seem to be anything else, aside from a sad reminder.”

Peering at it, Odessa checks every bit of its blue, dulled by time, but no less impressive in its sheen; its delicate thinness reveals a species that valued aesthetic beauty. Whoever this belonged to stood no chance against Prime.

Twirling the fragment in her hand, Odessa says, “But we found much more than we believed, which counts for something.”

“Which is exciting!” Hydrangea says, switching places with Tristan. “We don’t know what all this means yet, but I’m sure we will eventually.”

Odessa smiles, shaking her hands at the possibilities. Any object or clue that they find has potential. She isn’t sure where this will go, but she wants to learn as much as she can.

Like her mother always says: for science!

[iggy-dearest]

Happy valentines day Vergil

Vergil peeks out from the shelter of his pages for what seemed like the thousandth time that day.

Valentines Day

You two used to celebrate it before your ‘unplanned separation’. However, since he then decided to stay by your side and be the dutiful husband that you deserve. And he’s determined to treat you liek the queen you are. He doesn’t know what to do, every plan he comes up with just seems to have an equally horrible chance of blowing up in his face!

Your poor husband

Should he take you out?

No you don’t like crowded areas that much. What if you have a panic attack while your with him. He doesn’t want you to feel scared!

Should he make a homemade gift?

No, he’s never been good with crafts, that’s more of your forte.

What if he takes you to one of those spa’s you and the other women go to your occasionally?

No, you don’t like certain people touching you and it also seemed like something you did with just the girls, and Dante said. Whatever the hell that means.

Maybe he should make you some dinner?

Although, he really can’t cook, like at all. He remembers when you first started traveling together in your teenage years, he nearly burned down that cheap hotel room. ‘How do you burn water’ was your question. He never got near the stove again, traumatized and deeply embarrassed by the fact that he’d burned water. Although he supposes tea counts? Doesn’t it?

Tea!

He should get you tea. You appreciate it as much as he does. As far as he knows your taste in tea hasn’t changed much. He also noticed that you seem to be running out of your favorite blend and if he remembers correctly it isn’t very easy to come by.

Perhaps he could somehow get Dante to leave you alone for the night? Although he wonders how he should approach the matter with him.

The door opening as abruptly as it did was what snapped him out of his thoughts and what made you jump in your seat. “I’m back!!!” Dante hollered like he was on the worlds biggest sugar high. “Why are you yelling” you asked, although you don’t know if you want to know the answer. You spotted the familiar shaped box in his hands, “did someone get a treat” you teased with a glint in your eye that made your husband weak in the knees. “You bet your ass I did” Vergil saw the smile on your face when you saw Dante sporting his own. A feeling gurgled in his stomach, why did you have to be so close with Dante?

Taking a box into your hand you saw a name written in beautiful penmanship,,, one Dante never could have forged even on his best day. “Who’s Sandy” you asked propping yourself up on the desk. “New girl at Sammy’s” Dante said now sitting in your old seat behind the desk. “Oh~” you know who he’s talking about she looked young apparently has a really big crush on Dante.

“Either of you get any yet?” Dante questioned

“No, not that I know of” you sighed out,stretching your back out, how long have you been sitting in that chair. “I think I’m gonna head home for the day. Okay?” You asked.

You honestly have no idea what your gonna do, you just don’t wanna stay with him anymore. You don’t know if he’s going to try anything with you. Quite frankly if he does it means he’s trying to wine you back, which is confusing for its own reasons and if he doesn’t it means that he doesn’t want you anymore which hurts more then it sounds like. You just don’t know. Maybe you should just go home, listen to some opera to clear your head make some tea to calm you down and maybe watch a movie. A silent film seems fitting and not as pathetic as your love life.

“Ok” Dante agreed, what the hell has his idiot brother been doing this whole time. Honestly, does he not see a perfect opportunity when it happens to be standing a few feet away from him and is walking out the door.

“See you tomorrow” and with that you leave to drown yourself in tea and perhaps some wine.

“What the hell have you been doing for the past 3 hours, Vergil?!?” Dante yells.

Vergil turns his head to the window once he sees you cross the street he gets up himself. Time to get his affairs in order, Dante straightens up as he sees his brother get up from his seat.

Is he going to stab him?

On Valentine’s Day

Nice way of showing your brotherly love, asshole.

The younger twin watches as his brother wordlessly puts his book down on the coffee table and walks out of the establishment. Heading in the opposite direction that you were in.

Where the hell was he going?

~~~

It’s here he knows it’s on this block. You mentioned a new tea shop that had just opened up that carried your favorite blend. He knows because the look on your face was not one he could ever forget. Vergil walked down the street although it seemed more like cantering. His eyes strained a bit from the light reflecting on the shops naked windows. Than back to the small scrap of paper he had jostled down the name of the store.

Infused

Was the name. Simple easy to remember, he likes it.

Walking inside he is greeted to a mix of smells. The strongest being from the fruity blends that you happen to dislike. He doesn’t much like them either.

“Welcome” said a store clerk. The clerk approached him “Hi I’m Joshua, if you need any help, just ask me” he said with a well practiced smile.

When did humans get so..nice?

“I’m looking for a specific blend” Vergil started. “Peppermint lavender” he finished dammit if only he’d taken the nearly empty container. That would definitely help his situation. “We have a few choices, if you’d like I can bring them out and you can see which one it is that you’re looking for” wow, when did humans become so helpful.

Vergil nodded he didn’t usually prolong his time with others, but for you he’d do just about anything. Because you’re worth it, you always have been. He was just a fool and didn’t always see it.

He heads to the counter where the salesman has all the teas laid out for him. He squints his eyes as he trues to remember what your container looked like. It was...white..with purple outlining.

The salesman watches as the man who’s face looked like it was chisled out if marble and looked like he should be at a fantasy fair tried to make up his mind. He hopes he doesn’t choose the one thats mainly white, he’s had his eye on that one for a while and it the last one!

“This one” Vegil decides pointing to the one that’s the most similar to yours. He really hopes that it’s right, it’d be really embarrassing if it wasn’t.

Shit!

He choose the one he had his mind on. Maybe he could just say that it’s been reserved?

No, the salesman saw him before he walked into the store. He actually walked past it a few times too, but he had a look on his face that screamed ‘determination’. The salesman sighs internally, he probably needs it more then he does.

“Excellent choice” he says his rehearsed line and moves to the cashier.

~~~

Vergil hopes he’s not to late. He runs through the street. It’s getting late, he’d stopped to pick up some takeout that you liked courtesy of Dante for the information. He wants to get there before 8 o’clock otherwise he’d come off as wanting sex.

Wouldn’t he?!?!

And then he remembers, he’s got a sword that allows home to teleport. Really Vergil crosses his mind. With two precise swings he is at your apartment building.

However, this might be the hardest part. Going to the door of the woman your head-over-heels for and asking for her to let you into her safe space.

~~~

You sigh that’s enough of the silent films. Maybe you can leech off of your sister-in-law’s disney account. You decide Disney makes everything better. It even makes you feel better then you crazy love life.

You look at your glass, shit! That was your last spot of tea. Oh well, that just means you’ll have to break out the wine. What goes better together then Disney and wine.

You’re about to get up and stretch when in the place of hearing a tired joint popping, you hear a knock. Who the fuck knocks at, you peer at the time on the cable, 7:50pm. It had better not be your annoying neighbor, your not in the mood for his dumbassery. You’d much rather just sock him in the chin or slam the door on his nose, either work for you.

The knocking comes again. “I’m coming” you’ve decided it’s not your neighbor, they wouldn’t have waited so long to place their next knock.

So who the hell is it?

“Vergil” is the only word to make it out of your mouth as you open your door. What is he doing here. He looks a bit out of breath, is he alright?

“Hello”..hello...hello. Who the fuck even says hello anymore. Thats it Vergil’s used up all of his confidence. Why is it that he can face demons with no problem yet he can’t even face his love without freezing up. “Um,” what the hell are you supposed to say. “Is everything alright” you let out, sort of leaning and hiding behind your door. That door is your best defense right now if anything happens or if you just wanna slam it in his face because he talked out of his ass.

“Yes-no-uhm” christ can someone help him.

“Happy Valentine’s Day” he mumbles

“What” you ask, he must be nervous if he’s mumbling around you. Though, you’re glad you still have that effect on him.

“Happy Valentine’s Day” he finally manages, his voice filled with a bit more confidence than before.

You watch as he hands you a cylindrical container. It looks familiar to you, “this is..” you’re surprised he noticed “where did you find it” your so surprised, that’s good right? “The tea shop you mentioned” was his only answer “Vergil, I mentioned that weeks ago” your surprised he still remembered, even you didn’t remember it all the time despite being a frequent costumer there. Your glad that he did though-oh is that Chinese food.

“Thank you” sincerity dripped through your voice, and for that it’s worth it for him. You’re worth it, you always will be. “Would you..like to have dinner” now your surprised “I’d love too” you moved aside and let him in. You hope he likes Disney.

~~~

Vergil could not be happier then he is in this moment. You asleep and curled into his side, empty plastic containers strewn put on the coffee table complete with disposable chopsticks. With a Disney movie ‘Alaadin’ you said the name was, illuminating the otherwise dark apartment. He sees you shiver slightly, he takes the throw blanket that is draped over the back of the couch and lays if on you, his neck will hurt in the morning but he really doesn’t care. He’s not moving, no man in the world would. He slowly reached for the remote and turned the TV off.

I love you, he thinks as he starts to drift off.

I love you, you think as you snuggle closer into the source of your warmth, and you have a feeling that it won’t go away anytime soon.

[staycatcher]

Cursed 001

Member: Kim Seungmin x Femme Reader (she/her) (Jisung is also in this, we love wingpeople)

Au: (Dorky/Pure) Frat Boy! Seungmin x Baddie! Reader + Unexpected Soulmate AU [in the same universe as Anguish, no need to read it though!]

Genre: Crack, Angst, Fluff? (she’s all over the place, partner🤠)

Rated 14? for too much swearing, kind-of-stranger danger, getting into mentioned kind-of-stranger’s car (don’t do what y/n did!!), suggestive themes & jokes, hangover & leftover tipsiness, cringe, promiscuous bisexual reader, nothing explicit though!! Also, Jisung is too much I’m sorry

Word Count: 4.1k

Notes: special thanks to @staytion-nine for being a bro and reading & critiquing my full shitty drafts and @strayneoculturekids & @hyunjinssmile for thinking my crack parts were good & somewhat funny way back when I wrote them ilyssssm🤗💞💛

ps, I hope you readers liked/found my easter eggs!!🥴

“Your heart began to sing, sing triumphantly as if you broke some sort of curse- Curse? Wait, hold up. Hold the fuck up. I think he’s my soulmate?! But I can’t possibly have one-”

Cursed series 1/?-  ~001~  😈🤓😳~

Growing up, not a single day passed without your single mother reminding you that meeting your soulmate wasn't going to happen for you. The odds were not at all in your favor, not her’s, not your grandmother’s and not even your great grandmother’s mom; being the youngest girl of the youngest in the family made you carry such a burden. The streak that your family had going on for generations was too strong to break at this point. It’d be a miracle and a half if you ever heard of your soulmate for a fraction of a second. You started to accept by the time you learned how to read, that a life with a soulmate was frankly not in the cards for you. 

To say you were completely and utterly blind-sighted when you met your soulmate, would be the understatement of the century. You lived your whole life with no fear or any expectations of long lasting relationships whether it’s with a soulmate or not. You lived the life you knew many people with soulmates or obsessions with commitment couldn’t live. You lived a life of freedom, focused on yourself. 

Now, it's been three months at this university; three months, and you already have a reputation that precedes you. Contrary to popular belief, you don't like the attention. Yet somehow the spotlight seems to follow you. Though, you would argue you weren’t as charismatic as you were careless. Your carelessness seemed to be your charm and charming you seemed to be.

A groan tore out from your throat when as stretched over to snatch your boots. Jelly legs hobbling all over the place as you scrambled to tug them on, stubbornly not zipping down the zipper which only made it harder for you in the long run. Once on, you trudge on forward, not giving a shit if things were inside out or not, all that mattered to you was going back to sleep in your own bed. You have to remain careful though. You don’t want to go too fast and have stomach acid erupt out of you in aggravation, ruining the Sorority’s carpet and your morning. So, you watched each and every wobbly step as you did your best to navigate your way out of the crowded, trashed halls of the post-party filth. Fortunately, it seemed you’ve risen before anyone else, no conscious creatures for you to deal with. 

The clock struck six o’clock as you strut down Greek row, your steps more firm now, waking you up more with each step. However, waking up meant more hangover symptoms, though you weren’t exactly sober. You made it about four more clumsy steps down the sidewalk before a car slows down next to you. This has happened to you more times than you can count, but never when the birds were fucking chirping. You huff out in irritation, walking faster, thus, less firm as you tried to remain calm. 

Who the hell pulls up to you when it’s fucking sunrise?! Unbelievable. 

You only make it two more steps before the right next to you. Even though you tell yourself not to, your head swivels to look at the driver on instinct. He looks vaguely familiar, you’ve seen those cheeks somewhere but his name is lost on you. You acknowledge him with a questioning look as he rolls down the window.

“Want a ride?” He offers like you’ve known him for ten years and your pets were best friends. You were expecting a catcall but his voice was full of awkward sincerity and a bit of reluctance that couldn’t be faked.     

“I thought chivalry was de-ad.” You choked, giving a nudge with your words to test his sincerity.

“I thought you liked girls more and don’t believe in it anyway.” He dished back. Okay, fair. This guy’s a real one. 

“Touché... Ohhh what the helll-” You huffed, “I’ll take it.” You vaguely recognize him and he seems to know you too so what can hurt; that’s at least how you look at it in the buzzed moment. 

His unimpressive car comes to a smooth stop, you hear the doors unlock and you sluggishly yanked the door open and groan as you slide in, kindly ignoring the mess because you’re not much better. 

 “Did you not party last ni’?” You blurted, looking over at him with a dry smile. As you do, you can really take him in. His dark, messy hair and his cute over-expressive face, topped with a pair of doughy cheeks. Despite the cuteness, there’s not a doubt in your mind this is some frat boy on the college team, though you’re not even sure what team is in season right now. One thing was for sure though, his guns were proudly out of a cut out muscle-t like a living, breathing fuckboy starter pack. Infuriatingly, he pulled it off, he looked too attractive for this time, on the weekend especially. With all that being said, he seriously looks like the kind of guy that should be as fucked up as you are right now. And yet, here he is, behind the wheel looking as sober as a slice of bread.

“Nah,” He starts, getting his foot off the brake and turning back into the road, “me and my soulmate stayed in ‘cuz coach is making practice earlier than usual.” 

Well, that train left the station. “Ahh, that-that's too bad.” You heard yourself pettily trail off. 

“Nah, ‘zall good. I think coach is taking it out on us ‘cuz his wife found out he’s doin’ drugs and gambling again-“

“Do ya have any friends like you?” You blurted out again. 

“Huh??” 

“Do ya got any friends that do things like this?” You grumbled, resisting the urge to facepalm at yourself. Fucking hell, Y/n.

“That go to practice this early? Yehh. The whole fucking basketball te-“ 

“No!” You hiss, head pulsing, his voice is too goddamn loud. “Gentlemen!” clarifying and sulkily leaned your head against the cool window. 

“Ohhh!!~” Then he belts out laughing like a blaring fire alarm, making your entire brain rattle.

“Shhhh!” As you turn to glare at him, you realize your turn was coming up. “Wait!! Turn here!!” 

He hissed and stepped harshly on the breaks. “This one?” 

“Yeah!!-“ it was already too late when you unnecessarily clarified, so he had to turn around and go turn in again. Thank god the streets were dead at this date and time. You’re sure he broke at least four traffic laws.

“Shit, man!! You can’t say that and then expect me to make the turn, I got too excited!!” He was beaming, far too excited for your dumb question and not at all concerned about his chaotic driving. 

“What the fuuck?!?! You’ got a soulmate-“

“No, dumbass!!” He whines like you just missed the best play in the whole game, too bad there aren’t instant replies for day to day conversations. “I have a bro who we’ve been trying to get laid.~” And now he makes the turn, good job buddy. 

“Okay, two stops from now you’re gonna turn left.” It is then that you realize the last part of what he just said. “Huh? Li-like frat bro?”

“Yeah, dude. He’s so pissy I don’t think his hand is doin’ it for him anymore.” The dude laughed at his own joke, elbowing you in the side. Normally you would have joined in and punched him but for some reason, your little fucked up heart started to warm up hearing about this cute frat boy.

“Ahhhh.” And then you laughed a little too late, his wingmanning ass didn’t notice.

“Yeah! And he says books are better than pussy so that’s how we know he’s becoming a lost cause. We’re placing our bets that he won’t get it on until he finds his soulmate.” 

“What a swee-eetheart.~” You hiccupped with dazed eyes and chapped smile. You had to admit, you were endeared. You never heard about a dorky, innocent fraternity boy before, and you never would have thought that it would appeal to you.

“Is it this one or the next one?” 

“This one. So whoo’z this friend of yours-“ Unfortunately you were caught off by a ringtone blasting at the fullest volume making your brain wail in pain, for the second fucking time this morning. 

He just snickers. “Sorry, gotta answer this… Yuh~?” You just huffed and closed your eyes, deflating a little bit. 

“Seungmin?!?”

For some unknown reason, that name made you jolt back up into your seat. ‘Seungmin’, why does that sound so familiar?! 

“Well, speak of the devil!!~” He got too excited and looked at you, and gives you an over-enthused wink. You’re assuming this is the frat bro. “Your car won’t start??~~” This dude, you still don’t quite remember the name of, was really playing this up. For possibly the same unknown reason, him talking to this dude has your full attention. Normally you’d eavesdrop half-heartedly but this time your whole heart started to beat a way it never has before, begging you to soak up as much of this half conversation as possible. 

“Of course I’ll drive my wittle brother!!~... -fuck off a few days totally does count!!- Whatever!! Anyway, fair warning, I became a fucking uber this morning, I’m driving this girl too so prepare yourself!!... Shhh, it’s not a joke! And she’s really hot; make sure your heart and dick are ready.” 

You were about to beat this dude before you vaguely heard the muffled voice on the other line chew him out for you. You couldn’t hold in your smile before you realized; even though you were abnormally giddy, now is not the goddamn time to meet this kid. You looked like you were run over by three different military-grade vehicles and you’re more than sure you had lipstick marks from last night smeared in various places all over you. But most importantly, you were in a limbo of drunk and hungover. You needed way more rest and sustenance before you should interact with anyone of importance. You opened your mouth to scream at him but you were cut off yet again. 

“...Yeah, yeah. Anyways, I’ll turn around now, just for you.~ I’m pretty sure we’re close to her dorm but who cares how late I’m gonna be for practice! I’m making shit happen! See ya in a sec, muah!” If you weren’t high key starting to panic, you would’ve laughed at this dude’s unending ridiculousness. There is no way in hell you’re gonna meet this familiar stranger‘s friend that he’s setting you up with at six fucking a.m. in a frankly disgusting state.

“Do not turn around or I swear to fucking Rupaul-“

“No can do, bro. Besides, you seemed interested in him so why not!?! Be grateful! I’m gonna have to run double the fuckin laps cuz a’ this.”

‘“Why not’?!! I just got outta’ a stranger’s bed and I’m still drunk and somehow hungover too and my dorm is just around the corner-“

“Listen; bros before hoes. Frat legacy.” And with that, he chuckled as he turned the car around for the second time today. You take back the gentleman comment you gave him earlier, he’s a pile shit. 

“I’m gonna fucking jump out of the car-“ you groaned with a bluff, tugging at your smeared face and he smugly locked the doors before you could finish. “Cmonnn!~ It’s too fucking early for this shit, man! Why didn’t I just keep walking or just stayed-“

“I'm doing you a favor!~”

“Dropping me off when and where I asked you to is doing me a favor! That’s literally why I’m in your messy ass car that smells like rancid fuckin’ cheesecake in the first place!!”

“Hey, now you’re just being mean!”

You groaned and glared out the window, opting to ignore him now. This argument had you sobering up. This just really wasn’t it. You resisted the urge to pull down the mirror and see how bad you really looked but, you would rather not know how bad it is. Knowing your past morning afters, you’ve looked a hell of a lot cuter every other time. 

It seems like you’re just gonna have to grin and bear it and let this one go. There’s plenty of bitches in the sea. Bitches that never made you heart skipped like this before- and without you even meeting them-

All you could think about how embarrassing and fucked up this whole thing he’s pulling is as you glare at the passing sidewalks and cars parked at the side of the roads. You wish the passing textured and crumbly neighborhood sidewalks could swallow you up. It’s not often that you felt so burdened at an awaiting social encounter these days. You hated this.

“And we’re here!!” He stops and proudly puts the car into park. “Okay, Siri, call ‘Noodle Bitchass’.” 

The fuck-

-“I’m sorry. I didn’t get that. Would you like me to search the web for ‘Nude space app’?”-

“Ughhhhh. Fuck you!! I said, ‘Call~ Nooo-DiLL BiiiiTCh AAAssss’~~!!!”

 -“Okay. Calling Noodle Bitchass nerd emoji, middle finger emoji in medium tan’.”- You were about to cry in shocked laughter but the guy answered too soon so you had to snort into your hand and curl in on yourself. 

“Yah!! Han Jisung!!” Holy mother almighty, his voice is pure sunshine and honey. Your body slowly uncurled back up on its own. Fuck, okay it’s on speaker. Shit, I can’t even breathe, can’t make a sound.

“We’re here, man.” 

“Hhhhh… she’s not still with you is she?” Is it possible to be attracted to a voice? I think I’m attracted to a voice. 

“Hell yeah, she is! Suck it up, bro. You’re already making me late and she’s fine~!!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Jisung-“ Oh, good lord. Him swearing really just--

“Get in or I’ll leave you here and set her up with Innie instead.” You just heard the guy sigh and the sound of a facepalm, you’re guessing, before the line went dead. And finally. You could finally howl with laughter, or perhaps it was more like manic screaming in infatuation.  

You have never, in all your years of living felt like this because of a person. Is this what it feels like to be whipped? Fuck, fuck, fuck- It’s like I’m at a concert- but not really and-

You were still in the thick of it when a door ripped open. When you reflexively looked over, all the air that was left in your lungs pathetically wheezed out of you like a sad balloon. 

Then the sensations all hit you.

Wow, okay the drunkenness and hangover is gone? I feel good? I feel alive, I feel the cool late autumn air? I feel feelings; feelings I’ve never felt before? You were light as a mother fuckin’ feather and astounded as all burning hell. You were openly experiencing so many intense emotions, something that hasn’t happened in so many years. 

At that moment your mouth and his gawk right open at the exact same time, not that the two of you noticed. Without any volition, your eyes immediately drown in the other. Okay, he’s actual artwork? He was dressed so cute like he was ready to take some cute aesthetic photos for a dumb little blog. Oh god, he smells like a cup of tea in the forest after it rained?! That’s so specific- but. He smells so lovely. 

His hair was pure angelic fluff and his skin was a light, silky caramel. You watched before your tired, dry eyes, the caramel in his cheeks rise into the purest shade of pink and his eyes widening into adorable little saucers. When they met yours, they were sparklier than any ring on any finger; you swear to god herself, you felt electricity crackle in your veins like wood to the fire.  Your eyes couldn’t pull away, you felt like a giddy little kid again. Whirling with excitement and curiosity as you looked at him all bundled up for the late fall weather. Your heart began to sing, sing triumphantly as if you broke some sort of curse- 

Curse?

Wait, hold up. 

Hold the fuck up. 

I think he’s my soulmate?! But I can’t possibly have one-

That’s when your entire body began to heat up in question. None of this made sense to you. 

How is this possible? How is this fucking possible?! The only thing your brain seems to produce in reaction is unending, spiraling questions. For each and every one of them, whether rhetorical or not, you didn’t have a sensical explanation or possible answer. This didn’t make any sense, it went against everything you ever knew to be true. 

You couldn’t have a soulmate, your maternal lineage fucked that up for you, it was what you were born into without a choice. A perpetual heartbreak, something that started out as merely coincidental to grow into a family burden that carried on precariously. How can it be that for generations, the youngest daughter in the family never got to meet their soulmate until now, until you? You were on the brink of a fucking existential crisis. 

Seungmin seemed shocked as well, though leagues and leagues below the ballgame you’re dealing with right now. He looked shocked; appearing delightfully surprised. Shocked as if he wasn’t expecting to be surprised with a present on a random and unimportant Wednesday, not shocked as if he just broke a generations-long family streak. 

Before you can continue these heavy ass thoughts, Jisung blasts out an interruption yet again.

“I CAN’T FUCKIN’ BELIEVE THIS!! I THOUGHT I WAS JUST HOOKING UP MY BOY AT ASS CRACK IN THE MORNING!! BUT NO!! I FUCKIN’ FOUND HIM HIS SOULMATE!! AND IT’S Y/N OUTTA ALL PEOPLE!! Y/N?!? SEUNGMIN?!? THE UNIVERSE REALLY PAIRED THESE PEOPLE TOGETHER?!? OUT OF-” 

“Jisung, shut the fuck up.” To your surprise, it was Seungmin who interrupts ‘Jisung’ and not you, as he gets the rest of the way into the messy car. His put-together ass looks completely out of place in this shitty car, it made you try to hold in a smile as closes the door with barely restrained enthusiasm. 

Before he turns back, you force yourself to face forward and try to calm the hell down and calmly reassess the situation. 

Alright... You met your not plausible-soulmate, out of all places in time and space, in the car of a kinda-stranger who offered you a ride home in the early-ass morning after getting laid at a sorority party. 

Okay. Great. This is great.

You cleared your throat and tried to remain cool. “O-okay, awesome. Where ar-are we heading to first?” Okay, that wasn’t entirely cool but maybe you can blame it on literally everything else wrong with you in this situation. 

“I don’t know, man. I deadass wanna just skip practice altogether and-” Jisung was interrupted by the sound of a camera’s shutter. You instinctively whip your head around towards the sound, only to be met with Seungmin camera-handed. He has the fucking nerve to take two more in the time it took for you to whip around. 

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?” Your voice ripped out of you, croaking out like an enraged toad. He then takes the final picture as you’re screeching at him. This just kept getting richer and richer. First, Jisung’s bullshit, then life-altering realizations that you broke some sort of generations long streak of not having a soulmate, and now your seemingly miraculous soulmate taking unexpected, embarrassing photographs of you in the worst state you’ve ever been in?

“Taking your picture.” He grinned with a shrug, no guilt or shame to be seen nor heard. You could not hold in squawks of disbelief. His pride and excitement seemed to only grow at your bewilderment, he had the nerve to do a precious ‘hehehe’, the kind that little kids do after they steal a cookie from the jar. 

“Give me that!” You sneer as you go to savagely rip it right out of his perfect hands. However, the two of you seemed to be matched in more ways than one; neither of you would budge, equally as strong as the other. 

“No way! You’ll delete them!!” 

“Yeah, exactly!! ‘No way in hell will I let you keep pictures of me like this!” 

“‘No fuckin’ way will I let you delete them!”

You gritted your teeth. “Then let me take pictures of you!!!” And then you can sneakily delete-

“Yeah and then you’ll delete yours.” How the fuck did he know-

“Seungmin, just give her the goddamn camera so I can drive and drop your hormonal asses off before coach murders me.” 

There was a raging fire in Seungmin’s eyes as he slowly and painfully let go of his forsaken camera so you could tentatively take it. Upon retrieving the camera your fingers accidentally grab unto Seungmin’s. Resulting in a little static shock zap, startling you and heating up your cheeks immediately with a jerk and a hiss. Seungmin reacted similarly, blinking like pink dust blew into his eyes to land on his cheeks. Your hand yanks it back towards you before you even realize it. Jisung was far too excited to watch this drama unfold right before his wide eyes. 

 If this was a normal day for you you’d jump to delete those humiliating pictures of yourself immediately, looking nothing short of the cheshire cat. But this was evidently not a normal day in any sense of the word, so, what you did was unlike you. You huffed out a breath to encourage yourself before slowly raising the camera to your dominant eye and focused the lense as best you could. 

At least I can photograph how irritatingly handsome he looks at this hour. 

You took the first picture, zooming in on his now grouchy, but still stupidly handsome face. Then you zoom out as far as possible, hoping to take in this entire scene in front of you, his angry posture in an adorably preppy outfit, this messy, disgusting car and how out of place he looks in it.

“Only two more.” Seungmin huffs with an eyeroll and by some divine power (perhaps the same divine power that made this odd miracle happen in the first place), you clicked fast enough to get some of that petty behavior visually documented. You pressed down twice, sadly that was your limit you agreed upon.

You didn’t even look at the pictures you took nor the ones Seungmin took so that you wouldn’t be tempted to delete them. It felt like you were committing a saintly act; as if simply taking his picture like you said you would, without deleting anything made you pure and free of sin. Perhaps this twisted reality of somehow defeating the ancestral odds had you feeling undeservingly self-righteous.

“You better not delete yours either.” You sneered once more, before jabbing the camera back into his sweatered chest. This time you were determined not to turn around again, you couldn’t risk him taking any more pictures. You also aren’t entirely sure you could handle seeing his stupid perfect face once more. This was an outrage and this was your way of protest. Also, an unspoken miracle, but enough of that.

You swiveled your head away from Jisung and Seungmin, fully leaning into the cool window and began to count the street lights and stop signs. As the grueling seconds ticked by the more concentrated you tried to be. Soon enough the concentration turned sleepy and before you knew it, you were knocked out. All your adrenaline fueled energy depleted.

All through your protest-turned-snooze, Seungmin couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off of you. He couldn’t help but find it endearing how you could be an absolute riot only to pass out three minutes later. It hurt how cute he found you, no matter how scandalous you seem to be. You seemed so genuinely shocked, it made him want to cry. And he’s also fairly certain that this isn’t new to you, you not only partied all night and regularly. And judging from the markings on your skin, you might’ve done a little bit more than party last night. In fact, it might’ve even enticed him, might’ve gotten him a little hot under the collar. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that he already whipped and he hasn’t even caught your name.