#which has been nice to do
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i wanna cut my hair again because my hair's gotten to the point where it's growing out thick and also getting in my way
but i a) also want to try dyeing my hair again, but b) it's hard finding a salon with hair stylists who understand and are experienced with curly/wavy hair, but also c) if I just chop my hair off at home like I have been since lockdown I would be saving money, I just wouldn't dye my hair myself because I don't trust myself to do that
maybe i'll ask my friend who has very curly hair for recommendations on affordable salons that are curly/wavy hair friendly
#eprika rambles#i miss having fun coloured hair#but do i miss it enough to feel the tingles on my scalp during the bleaching process???#we'll see.#tho if i chop it i wouldn't be able to pull my hair back and tie it up#which has been nice to do#or maybe i can just thin it out idk we'll see#just thinking about it bc it was hurting my neck lol
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a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)
#i realised too late that it has been more than a fuking year (august 9)#and for context: ive had 3 different intagram art accounts and i deleted all 3 of them a few months before creating them. anxiety amiright#here it has been so different bc people are so nice??? it has been a pretty plesant experience here w all of u really#im so glad to have found myself in such a wonderful part of the fandom and amazing mutuals that i never talk to bc im shit w texting#the atention has been overwhelming ngl. i have over 2000 followers which. holy fuck???#it doesnt feel like a real number and for my own sake im nnot gonna treat it as one#like i apreciate the support and ppl liking what i do but im not here to make number go big yk? im here to connect w other humans#and yall have been amazing humans ^^ thank u for all the wonderful tags and comments and the support overall#it has been so cool sharing my art and finding other artist whom i respect oh so very much. some of them even follow me back wtf#i hope to continue being here for as long as i can and keep growing as an artist and sharing that process with other without fear#also my amy redesign actually goes so hard idk why i forgot about it nxnfbcncb#sth#sonic fanart#sonic#amy rose#nov.aart#nov.junk
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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Kate and Anthony - first dance vs. dancing as a married couple
#bridgerton#bridgertongif#bridgertonedit#kate sharma#anthony bridgerton#kate x anthony#kathony#kanthony#perioddramaedit#perioddramagif#tvgifs#tvedit#simone ashley#jonathan bailey#this has probably been done before#but i thought i might try merging gifs again and this was the perfect opportunity#so pls be nice it took me a while to figure which was the best way to do this and have the gifs look somewhat cute#anyways love their never-ending smiles in the season 3 clip#the difference is insane#my gifs#tv
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I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#hazel wells#fop hazel#fop dev#dev dimmadome#art#digital art#doodles#I wish Hazels parents were more flawed tbh...#Like I get why they wanted to have them be good rep so that young people could know what a good family is supposed to look like#but it felt like every time there was an opportunity to have them do something genuinely flawed-#they would perfectly sidestep it before it even became a problem#I really enjoyed the first episode because it showed a hint of a very unique emotional issue Hazel had related to having a therapist mother#The idea that she has to be mature all the time#constantly living around therapy speak makes her feel like she isnt allowed room to breathe#Feeling unable to express her emotions without someone there giving advice that she isnt ready for yet#just small things!#She feels so pressured to be emotionally mature all the time BECAUSE she gets praised for it#maybe im projecting everyone always tell me I was so mature for my age...#But like I really really wanted to see that from her!!#And then after that episode it doesnt even come up again#The only other episode that features the moms job as a conflict is the one where she wants to spend more time with her#which is a fine conflict I guess but it still ends with her saying all the perfect things#I wanted Markus to be more of a genuine threat too. even if he didnt actually do anything having him be more looming would have been nice#I feel like they mostly forget hes a para scientist most of the time idk.#I just felt like his interactions could have been more unique#Maybe he will be in future seasons idk
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Turtle Takedown Teamwork.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#tulu xuanwu#Something about changing the action sequence to something gentle is hilarious to me.#The lesson here is “Be nice to turtles. They are gentle creatures. And many are very endangered.”#don't get me wrong here; I love this scene a lot. LWJ's string technique is one of my favoyrite things.#We do get a fair amount of LWJ fighting but I always loved how the theme of strings comes into play.#There is actually a lot to unpack with LWJ being associate with 'strings'.#The musicianship: Of dedication and rigor in one's practice.#The tension between following along a path or composing your own way forwards (playing what has been written vs composing)#A string is a tightly coiled/taunt entity; The same tension that makes it sing so beautifully can be it's downfall if pushed too hard.#And as a non-musical string - something that binds. Be it to his sect and family or how he binds his fate to WWX -#LWJ cannot exist without his binds. It is not something which ties him down though. It keeps him together.#And he himself *is* a bind. He 'ties wwx down' in ways that are initially negatively viewed ('come to gusu' - feels like: come be trapped)#But later it is shown how (despite being introduced as a free spirit) WWX truly wants to be bound to something and someone.#Marriage is a bind he wants. He wants to be tied and grounded by LWJ.#It's starting to sound like innuendo. Let's call his fondness for being literally tied up smart thematic writing.#Finally. Sex scenes that are important to the plot and characters
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my love for foppish fictional men truly knows no bounds
[image description: two drawings focusing on flavio from paper mario: the thousand-year door. the first picture of flavio singing, drawn in a simple, sketchy style. the second drawing is a comic. the first panel shows mario and goombella sitting across from flavio, who has a dreamy expression on his face and is saying, "we shall gather a crew and set off on a journey of romance!". the second panel is of goombella replying by saying "yknow that there are only male sailors in rogueport, right?", with a note below that panel saying "shes a lesbian shes just also homophobic". the third panel is of flavio looking confused, followed by the final panel of flavio in front of a rainbow background as he says "yes? does flavio stutter??". end id]
#I LIKE HIM hes silly!!!!!!#was very nice getting to draw for myself inbetween commissions#i dont feel awful rn which is incredible given how my life has been goin recently#anyways fun fact i used to have a paper mario oc i shipped w flavio. he was a himbo pirate captain#i have a flipnote of those two together... somewhere on my youtube#hotel mario voice I Dare You To Find It If You Can!#doc talks#my art#paper mario#paper mario ttyd#pmttyd#ttyd#flavio#goombella#mario#smb#also i HATE that flavios backsprite in the remake doesnt have a gay little ponytail. you dont know him like i do.
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Lackadaisy Enrichment
#in our enclosures!!#video linked as source; which i'm glad to see already has a million views and is trending. That's Right#lackadaisy#WHICH i have been reading since at least '07 when i was thirteen my god b/c this animation is based on the ongoing webcomic#like does its influence show up Directly in some Discrete way i can point to in my art? not very easily probably. And Yet.#the inspiration....i wasn't able to be Regularly Only for at least another year / art done Nonprofessionally Online was novel to me#like wow ppl can make & post fanart of w/e they love huh....didn't know webcomics were a thing & i never really read that many since but.#good god the quality of Lackadaisy at its onset is like this is superb?? this person putting in all their talent and effort???#and Then you get years & years more art and i don't even know what superlatives to throw out abt its quality as it evolves. obsessed w/it..#if i see a new lackadaisy comic page i Will be acting out. obviously this animation is a delight & also stunning. and fascinating to also#juxtapose as a Translation / Interpretation of the comic in a different medium & standalone snippet of Story#and that we're not even quite there in the comic timeline; Taking Notes abt character info we get distilledly here....genuinely love like#take it back to '07 i'm like oh boy can't wait for the dream team to assemble. then a decade later when it did? Oh Boy. that is payoff lol#namely hooray for stitches and mudbug at the field office for every passing gangster. killing one marigold associate but not the other#which seems like a promising start to shootouts w/the other dream team triumvirate. i adore that in canon so far mordecai freckle & rocky#have met but only over a nice brunch. re: all intentions anyways. anyways i'm like Gifs Must Be Made while i'm also so riled afresh abt the#comic that i've been sooo hype for for over fifteen yrs now babeyyy Deservedly. i've done a couple of rereads & ought to do another....#For Interest it'd probably take a few sittings to catch up from the start but there is much to be engaged over....this ongoing story that's#historical fiction prohibition bootlegging cats with plenty of focus on characters & several Mysteries. which i'm better at parsing now lol#like one of the more recent rereads like Oh Of Course x (probably) accidentally killed his y & z took the fall & that's a binding secret...#Not [oh of course] abt the circumstances surrounding a's death & how b & c were involved. nor the ''what's marigold's damage'' mystery#which is great. love to not know things. love that we can readily follow all the emergent drama everyone's wading in nowadays. hell yeah#anyways admire my organized approach to gifs here. four shots each Expressions Atmosphere Action Groupshots#sure might've muddled through gifmaking for this anyways but fr being a huge lackadaisy comic enjoyer for now most of my life helps#and its very Overall Inspiration like. just really getting the [you can really just draw stuff out here] going. fr the art's detail & skill#and that enrichment like i'm gonna have a great time following this. And I Have#you don't expect a crowdfunded indie animation in the mix back then but hell yeah fellas#SIGH ok removing a 4th gif that's broken / not displayed despite reuploading then entirely remaking it. if it's a bug i'll try again later
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Golden Fleece
#my art#cotl#cotl lamb#blood#it was really fun to ponder this one#cause in the game sprite the body on the fleece has the scale-like texture but the hem is sharp like the standard fleece#i felt a 2 tiered piece would work nicely to show both of these contrasting elements#the sprite always makes me think of gold scale mail but i wanted to avoid it looking explicitly like armor#since the fleece gives you stacking atk damage in exchange of taking 2x damage when hit#although tbqh gold armor would be fucking pointless anyways. gold is a very soft metal. which may have been the point but w/e#instead i wanted the shapes to be more reminiscent of wool since like. yknow. the golden fleece#and i wanted it to speak of luxury and power but be rather impractical for movement or protection#i just wanted to do an axe for funsies and by wonderful coincidence remembered the godly axe was gold :]#anyways this pose is brought to you by my stupid ass who spun too hard with my upper body when swinging a bat and felt cool for 1 second#before totally unbalancing myself and falling#the instant after this image lambo eats shit. rest in peace
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the thing is. juno & nureyev's relationship has been such a major guiding thread throughout the podcast and the major drive of season 5, and the fandom has built itself so much (as fandoms often do) around shipping the two of them.
and yet nureyev doesn't show up at all in the last episode! or, he does, but it's only implied (for all we know it could be like. alessandra strong)(i know it's not but it would be really funny) and we don't hear his voice.
and it's so important to me that despite the room that their romance has taken in the plot and in our hearts, his absence reinforces that the point of juno steel's story wasn't a lady getting his man, it was about learning to grow as person for himself and for his friends (and not just his love interest), and it was about finding his footing in life and being at peace with himself and his place in the world. and he did! his growth and relative serenity is so apparent and just. a balm to the soul
and the fact that his man is back is just a nice add-on, not a necessity for his happiness
#juno steel#my aro ass has been sitting still and staring at a wall thinking about this ever since listening to this episode#mannnn i'm just. so completely floored about how good this finale was#juno's been all over the place and his growth has been up and down throughout but like.#it's so nice to hear just how. serene he was this episode#he's doing alright guysss#juno steel is fine#he's accepting affection and expressing it back#i Will be reading massive amounts of fanfiction about juno and nureyev'#s reunion when it comes out but i am super happy it wasn't a part of the episode#i was a bit bummed out for sure cos like. hearing his voice is always a good time#but there's a different between what i kinda want to hear and what i actually want out of the episode#and i got allll i wanted outta this one#also i'm super into urban planning (starting a masters in urban governance in september hihi) so the new town description had me 😈 meow#🤌🤌#juno steel spoilers#tpp#tpp spoilers#the penumbra podcast#i am soo excited to find out which mildly unpleasant to outwardly despicable characters the writers will make us love next as they grow#mannnn now im thinking about caroline again#back to staring at a wall bye
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need them to be bffs and i will keep manifesting idc 😂❤💜
#across the spiderverse#miles morales#miles g morales#spider-man#prowler#fanart#my draws#across the spiderverse spoilers#i like the idea of them having diff colored eyes bc their moms do!!!#ive seen ppl draw G with green eyes which i love but i just followed the yellowish hue from the movie :3 mightve just been the lighting but#anyways i love them!!! ive been putting off finishing these until i got the artbook and then i STILL didnt rly follow the artbook#such is life#i think that G would still be a nice boy but he has to be much more assertive bc of how his universe is ):
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orpheus and thanatos 💚
#persona 3#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#minato arisato#makoto yuki#lizzy does art#HIII EVERYONE :3 happy halloween.... (has been working on this for four weeks off and on)#i've always yearned to see art of ryoji and minato based on thanatos and orpheus!!!#i know that ryoji can be likened to being the eurydice figure which i agree with but I HAVE BEEN THINKING SO HARD ABT THEM LIKE THIS OK.#it was nice to give drawing something more ambitious (for my standards) an earnest try again! i love working with lineless and lighting#and working on this has inspired me to HOPEFULLY start doing some studies of sorts! i want to learn so many things...#all so that i can make ryomina as epic as possible...#also LET ME TELL YOU that thanatos coffins are making me realize i seriously need to do drawabox or something.#trying to put them in perspective is hard... but im pretty happy with what i made!!!#also can i just say i love how shapely orpheus is?? i love orpheus joints etc etc its so nice. very fresh#sighs longingly. i love them very much they make me want to do better at things. i hope everyone has a wonderful week ahead! 💙#very excited to see what people do for ryomina week (<- they haven't made anything 4 it yet bc Busy... but i'll submit smthn late maybe)
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I am so glad that the kid spectrals have such normal and caring spirits who will definitely not physically endanger and/or cruelly betray them in the midst of their lives already being destroyed by cults, monsters, and interpersonal drama. It’s so cool and nice 👍
#paranatural#pnat spoilers#paranatural spoilers#*SHAKES THEM ALL* BE NICE TO YOUR KIDS?#Isabel doesn’t get an evil spirit partner but she does get all of her kind caring spirit partners forcibly taken from her#which she is subsequently scolded mocked and belittled for by a grown ass man. so she’s also not doing great over here#I also feel like these parallels(?) are maybe harsh towards some of them#catnine is just straight up shitty. pacts will almost certainly be shitty in the future but technically hasn’t done anything wrong YET#to max I mean. not in general. I side eye the sphinxes#muse and forge have the potential and motives to be shitty later but I personally doubt they will go as far as any of the others#and peekaboo. if I’m being honest. I don’t believe it genuinely has the capacity to fully understand that it is hurting/betraying Dimitri#like fully is just concerned with wanting a friend to play with and not being abandoned.#which obviously doesn’t mean that Dimitri WONT get hurt/betrayed further or that the hurt/betrayal is in any way less#we also do not know what’s up with Scrapdragon considering she is also currently incapable of experiencing complex thoughts lol#could be evil. could be cool. is currently just a big hungry and kind of irritated snake lady. which I love for her personally#I don’t remember if Scrapdragon has been given pronouns. just that max calls her girl. assigned lady snake by the protag.
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I'm slowly making my way through a new project- editing the entirety of the album PUNCH by Autoheart to the Life Series.
I was originally planning to post all of the edits in order of the songs on the album, but I instead made the Lent one first and am too excited to keep it in my drafts any longer while I work on the first four songs of the album (especially since we're coming up on finals seasons and the amount of time I'll have to work on these is gonna plummet so fast). So instead, I'll be posting them as I make them and make a masterpost of them all in order at the end.
That being said, I hope you enjoy this! I'm really proud of it and a lot of work went into it.
#life series smp#trafficblr#third life smp#last life smp#double life smp#limited life smp#goodtimeswithscar#grian#desert duo#autoheart/life series project#my edits#my art#everyone has to be so nice to me about the audio desync-ing in some places it does that whenever i export it and i can't fix it </3#i COULD tag this one as ship but im not gonna#i DO mean it like that. but like it's just canon clips it can be read however you so choose#also if youve been following me for a little bit youll know i did part of this edit once before#i did the bridge when the afk session came out#and then that plus cherrifire's crane lives project inspired me to assign the whole album to the series#and i was ORIGNALLY planning to do a project like she did w/ the thumbnails#but i couldnt get myself to actually DO IT and also i did map out an entire animatic to factories at one point.#which. on the topic of that. factories or anniversary will be the next ones#anniversary has been started but not fully mapped out whereas factories has been fully mapped out but not started#we'll see which one catches my eye enough first#but all the songs HAVE been assigned so if nothing else i know the gist of what i'm doing for every song#this will definitely be a multi-month project though since one of these takes me a few days to finish#though finals season approaching also means winter break is approaching so who knows! maybe ill bang all of them out in december#(DO NOT HOLD ME TO THAT OH MY GOD)
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LISTEN. If we get a bisexual!Buck arc, I will ACTUALLY LITERALLY CRY, I’m already emotional just thinking about it, it will literally bring me so much joy
BUT
I don’t want it at the expense of an Eddie coming out arc…
Bc listen, I read a post talking abt how the writers probably won’t give both of them a really flushed out Queer Realization Arc bc it would be redundant, which like, okay sure, yes, I can see why you wouldn’t want to have two main, male characters going through the exact same thing, so sure, whatever, BUT -
I feel like, out of Buddie, Eddie is going to be the one that really struggles with coming to terms with his sexuality.
Eddie, who had to be The Man Of The House at 10 years old. Eddie, who grew up in the Deep South. Eddie, whose family is Catholic. Eddie, who already had a strained relationship with his judgmental parents. Eddie, who had a WIFE. Eddie, who says that what he had with Shannon was magic & compares every relationship he had to her. Eddie, who was in the military, which is infamous for DADT. Eddie, whose aunt constantly pushes him at random women because he needs to not be alone. Eddie, who canonically suffers from comp-het, saying that dating women feels like putting on a performance, not that he understands why. Eddie, who dated Ana & was planning on staying with her, even though he was unhappy, for his son.
I think Buck would be way chiller with realizing he’s queer - if he doesn’t already know, which is my fav head-cannon - & I feel like he wouldn’t struggle as much bc it’s Eddie, & Eddie is his best friend, and gender wouldn’t play as big a part for him as I think it would for Eddie.
I would love for them both to have an arc where they worked through their expectations when it comes to relationships & realize that they’re queer, but idk man, I feel like Eddie is going to be the one to really struggle & he deserves to really have that flushed out.
Idk, I’ve been thinking about this ever since I saw that post & nobody I know watches 9-1-1 😭
#buddie#911 abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911#Queer Buddie Arcs#I want them both to have nice things is that really so unreasonable?#literally all of their other arcs take place at the same time#let them realize they’re queer & in love with each other at the same time too#honestly this only applies if Buddie goes canon which I’m not even convinced is going to happen#i have so many feelings#Buck would just be like “I’m in love with my best friend? fucking dope#bc my darling boy just wants to be loved & chosen & Eddie has already done those things#either way I wish they would stop putting them with random ass women who have been on the show for less than 10 minutes#I don’t need them to go canon in s7 but if we don’t even get a HINT of it this season I’ll probably quit watching#unless s7 is REALLY good bc they put some WEIRD shit in recently that I dfw#I have no idea how Tumblr is supposed to work am I doing this right? idk pls advise
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𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐬
Toji Fushiguro x F!Reader
Cw. afab!reader. Cheating. Infidelity. Dacryphilia. Temperature play. Burning. Fingering. Smoking.
Genre. [ fic. Smut. See tags for notes.] You're Megumi's girlfriend and his father is not someone you thought you'd catch the eye of in the kitchen.
Wc. 3.6k
This was fucked up. It was fucked up and you knew it was. It wasn’t supposed to be this way, but it’s the only way your heart squeezed in that sickeningly pleasant way – the only reason you wanted to sleep over any more.
You looked up at him, eyes dancing over the serenity in his features. Handsome. Somehow boyish in the length of his lashes and the way his lips parted in a slight laugh. He made you feel like an endangered animal – preciously encaged for safety and sanctuary yet never letting you see home again.
Your breath fluttered and you were completely certain he could hear the way your heart swirled in your eardrums. It was evident in the way his head tilted slightly as his deep gray-blue eyes went from your chest, to your lips, to yours eyes. You held your breath, rolled your lip between your teeth, and averted your eyes.
The tile of the kitchen floor was cold against your bare feet and Megumi’s shirt was big enough to graze your knees. The chill of the counter against the side of your hand reminded you of everything outside of the one in front of you.
“W-what?”
“Can I have the milk?”
Toji leaned his hip on the black marble countertop, hand laying over yours on the cardboard milk carton as he took it from you. It was a slight graze of a touch, but you felt the calluses of his fingers trickle across the delicate skin of the back of your hand. You repressed a shudder. Your chin dipped down. Your hand let go of the carton.
“Thanks. What’re you doing up so late, Princess? Gumi kick you off the bed again?”
You felt the warmth of his body as he shifted, bicep grazing onto your upper arm as he poured the milk into the coffee. The nickname always peeved Megumi in a way he couldn’t fully explain. You would reassure him it was fine, it’s just because his dad was a dick. Toji said it was because Megumi spoiled you.
“No,“ you watched as black espresso turned to a pretty caramel. Suddenly your tea wasn’t as appetizing anymore. For a moment your brows furrowed and you were aware that it was 3:15am, “why are you drinking coffee?”
Toji laughed. It’s deep and gruff and sounds like tires over a gravel driveway. This time you can’t suppress the shudder. It’s been this way since Toji came back from his business trip. You never met him up until the last semester. At least not in person. He was usually away. Megumi never knew what he did or how he afforded the house.
Either way, whenever classes let up or between semesters, you’d come to his suburban home and basically live with him. You loved Megumi very much and you have for the year and a half you’ve been dating. You’d kiss him goodbye whenever you left to see your parents, but there was something about his dad that kept you coming back.
Maybe it was the first night you woke up in the middle of the night. Megumi had kicked you off the bed by accident. There was only so much room for two 20-years-olds and a large dog. It was bound to happen one day or another. It was simply unfortunate that you scraped your arm on a bent piece of metal from his bed frame, leaving a long scratch that pebbled red. You traversed down the steps and having forgotten your glasses on the nightstand, had to rummage through the drawers to find a band aid.
Toji was there, leaning on a counter by the sink, gazing out the window. The sweet scent of cherry tobacco lingered despite the open air. At first, your throat cinched around your thumping heart. You thought he was an intruder. You couldn’t see his features, but the way the moon abstractly bounced off them, you immediately knew who he was just by shape. Megumi got his good looks from someone and that someone was right in front of you.
“You’re bleeding,” he stated blandly, only taking a second to look at you from the corner of his eyes.
“I am?” You knew you were. That’s why you had your arm up like an injured paw and a hand in a drawer full of homeless kitchen appliances, “I am.”
“So you are,” he chuckled. Toji stood at full height and you swore you nearly gasped. The corner of his scarred mouth curled then flattened as he turned to you. He grabbed a paper towel, fingers grasping onto the tips of yours. His palm was warm, soft, tender on the flesh of your arm. The paper towel pressed to provide a temporary fix as he guided you along to the bathroom to pull out a bandage.
You remember every moment of that night; how the sink felt pressing against the small of your back and how his thigh leaned almost too heavily onto yours as he meticulously took care of the minor cut. In his defense, the bathroom was small – one of the ones that fit awkwardly under a staircase and only had a toilet and a sink. It didn’t excuse the way his hand brushed your hair back when everything was settled. You still felt guilty that you tilted your chin to better feel the backs of his fingers against your neck.
For as often as you felt guilty, soon to follow was an echo of his parting words.
“Mr. Fushiguro takes care of his guests – especially Gumi’s Princess.” His smile was strangely sweet when he exited the bathroom, leaving you to collect your staggered breath.
It was that night, and plenty of nights after, that you woke Megumi up by putting his hand on your cunt and asking if daddy could take care of you. The kisses he’d press to your forehead lingered warmly, lovingly. Bitterly.
Brought back by the metallic thwip of a bic lighter, Toji cupped his hand to the flame, lighting the cherry cigarette you would smell when you were lonely in your dorm. It overpowered the familiar scent of eucalyptus you’d once loved.
“For the same reason everyone drinks coffee,” He laughed once through his nose, expression slackening as his gaze lingered on yours. He dragged on the cigarette and exhaled for longer than usual. The swirl of smoke passing over the curve of his lips was beautiful. He quirked a brow, curiously entertained, “Withdrawal?”
You dry swallowed. He offered you the cigarette with an offhand comment you couldn’t quite hear. The end of the cig faced you and you leaned, wrapping your lips around it. The subtle graze of his fingers on your lips tickled. You never smoked before. Through thick lashes, your gazes met and you swore something passed over his. You sucked. You coughed. You secretly loved the taste of burnt cherry.
“That’s not how you do it,” his voice was dark navy and for a moment, as small tears welled from the remaining spasm of your lungs, you thought he would scold you for lying. Hushed, he pressed the cigarette back to your lips, “Try again.”
Obediently, your lips found their way around the stick. You had Toji’s attention on you in the same way a starling bird had a peregrine falcon’s. You felt wanted by something hungry.
You waited patiently for his order, looking up to him with those pretty, expectant eyes. You barely noticed his hand slowly pulling the cigarette. Your lips stayed connected. He felt your breath fan the backs of his fingers.
“Are you going to suck it, or what?” There was a bite to his voice and you took a long, nervous drag. The crackling burning paper filled the space between you. You tried to inhale it all and the burn made your eyes water. Toji’s head tilted by a minuscule as your lips detached, leaving a small string of saliva attached to the end. Bleary eyes matched his, desiring his approval. His free hand cupped your cheek, giving a slight tap, “I’m not going to spoil you like Megumi does, Princess.”
Strong hands grabbed under the thickest part of your thighs, hoisting you up and onto the cold marble counter. Megumi’s shirt was disregarded and hiked up to the crease of your hip. The hiss of hot ash sprinkled on your thighs matched the heady hiss your tongue made against teeth. Toji smirked. The burn was replaced by his rough hands smoothing over the supple flesh. He gripped your ass, hauling you to the edge of the counter.
This was wrong.
Your heart throbbed in your chest and even more between your legs. Your Thighs squeezed together as Toji leaned into your neck, biting hard. His thumbs dug into the junction of your thigh and hip, keeping you sat firmly on the counter top.
Megumi was upstairs.
Toji’s mouth trailed down your neck as the tips of his fingers traced up along bare skin. You could feel him smirk against your neck. Surely the warmth of his lips could feel how fast the blood pumped through you. You felt light headed, impatient for the touch of his chilled fingers. The man before you nudged his cheek onto yours and you felt the subtle graze of his spudding 5 o’clock shadow.
He said nothing, but you heard the change his breathing. Hiis middle finger slipped between your glossy lips - the touch was so cold, you gasped and your cunt clenched on nothing at all. The pad of his middle finger moved slowly in a circle, then traced down. It was so slow that your body writhed for more. To try and coax the digit in, your entrance throbbed. He headed to call to its beck. Rather than satiate your starving sex, Toji brushed up to your clit. Totally in control of you, his fingers dance in cruel repetition.
His spare hand trailed up your torso, pulling his son��s shirt up to expose you bit by bit. The shirt never came off, no. It’s not like he needed it to when you wore nothing underneath it. He’d be lying if he didn’t notice how your nipples perked and your stance shifted when he entered the kitchen. He felt your eyes on his back when he opened the fridge. Deliberately (and with the goodness in his heart), he allowed your longing gaze to linger on him. It was laughable that you were pressing your bare chest into the palm of his hand, The tissue malleable and molten under his touch. It was euphoric. You gave into his touch so desperately.
Toji’s grin widened, Cheshire-like against you. His breath was hot against your ear and the baritone of his voice was enough to make you swallow a whine, “Maybe Gumi doesn’t spoil his Princess like I thought. You’re really this cock hungry? I barely touched you,” his finger tapped on your swollen clit and you jerked in response, curling forward and trembling digit gripping onto his impossibly tight shirt. Practically on the brink of tears from the way he teased you, you wondered how hands so cold could feel like they burned like the ash on your thighs.
Fuck. Fuck.
The hands gripping his shirt slapped the cold counter when you pulled your torso away to back on your forearms. Your brows knit and your chin tilted back. Megumi’s shirt draped over your tits like fine silk. What a fucking delicious sight. Desperate. That’s exactly how you looked with your nose scrunched and lips drawn in a tight line. Your fists were balled and legs spread wide, separated by his body. He admired that the first thing spilled on the freshly installed black marble was the drool of your cunt.
Toji persisted despite the painful ache of his cock. He wanted you to grovel for him, prove his suspicion that his son lacked the same skill to make you a drooling mess. Why? The answer was simple instinct to him. The aftermath of his divorce left him in shambles. But then again, papers were filed the second he fucked his sister-in-law on wifey’s new BMW (and doubled down on when she found the recording of him with the couple’s therapist). Validation, maybe. He had nothing to prove or no need for it. He just wanted to know that he could fuck anyone he wanted anywhere he wanted, no matter who they were.
You opened your mouth to scream in frustration. Your legs shook, every part of your body wanted something to fill you. Empty. Empty fucking. Empty satisfaction. The slap was followed by the sound of skittering upstairs.
You paled and your heart threatened to burst with anxiety. Complete silence took over the kitchen and your mind emptied, listening for the familiar sound of your boyfriend’s footsteps. Eyes looked over your shoulder and suddenly you were very aware of the fact that every entrance leading to the kitchen was an open walkway.
The man between your legs had paused then, lips slack as he listened. He had good hearing. Good senses. His fingertips sprawled on top of your mound, palm pressing against your fluttering entrance absent-mindedly. It was merely the dog. He trained it to only bark or alert of certain triggers. This was certainly not one of them. Your reaction though- he could work with that.
His fingers circled your clit and you feared he would continue his cruel tease. Toji could see through your expression like the Bermuda seas. He leaned forward, hand slowly tipping over your entrance as his words filled your mind, “What happens if you’re caught?”
Your breathing stopped completely. Dread, excitement, and two long digits filled you. Just as you had expected, every second of teasing coated your walls. Every nerve ending had been meticulously prepared for something to touch them, trigger them to ignite. Your walls spasmed readily and your knees gripped the sides of Toji’s hips. He experimented with you for a while, salivating when tears pinched past your lashes. In the back of his mind, he needed you to break before you got his cock. He was getting slightly impatient. His hands were cold and you could feel every single motion of his fingers in you. Your mind could paint a picture of every ridge his digits had to offer simply from his temperature.
He leaned over. His tongue was hot. With a single broad, strong, and long open-mouthed lap along your clit, you unwound. A free hand slapped over your mouth, muffling the near animalistic yowl you let out. He smirked.
Bet Megumi never heard that sound.
As soon as your walls slowed and your voice died out, Toji shoved the band of his sweats under his cock. He could tell by your blissed out glaze that you weren’t entirely processing what was to come. He could fix that.
Hands pulled you half-way off the counter. You yelped, shivering at the slick on the surface beneath you. Toji held you under your knees, practically forcing you to prop yourself up on your elbows. He cooed, “Good girl.” The way you stared at his cock like it were god itself had a dribble of precum roll down his length. A bare minimum of 8-9 inches stood at attention, positioned right under you. Your arousal drizzled over him and if your mind worked, you would’ve offered to lick it off like one would a warm sugar glaze.
He adjusted his arms so that the underneath of your thighs were supported by his hands and your knees hooked over his arms. Your own arms wobbled and shook. The muscle ache was blunted by his thick tip pressing onto your entrance. You had no option but to give him the reins. His focus was entirely on the junction between his tanned cock pressing into you. It was almost endearing, how this look of fascination came over his harsh features, enrapturing your gaze like a renaissance painting.
He guided your hips in a circle, bending his knees slightly to swirl against you. The scar at the corner of his lip twitched in gratification when you throatily let out a long high note. He lowered you onto him in bit by bit. Slight thrust in. Draw back. Slight thrust in. Draw back.
Every. Single. Time. He drew out, you wanted to cry out. You could take it. Toji continued to carefully make his way into you. He was large and he learned from mistakes of drilling in too soon. Sure, he slipped in easy enough, but he still met resistance to the stretch. He didn’t want to hurt you. Or at least that was until you opened your pretty mouth.
“Stop fucking around. I can take Gumi’s dick, I can take yours.”
Your lips formed into a pout and the words backhanded his ego. So this is what Megumi dealt with. Oh no, he couldn’t have that. You were obviously trying to get a rise out of him like the brat you were. Toji darkly chuckled, “So this is what’s got him around your finger, huh? You want me to ‘stop fucking around’?”
He pulled your right leg across his chest so that it rested along his left shoulder. The left leg was guided around his waist. “By your command, Princess.” He thrust in hard, shoving his cock through the tightness. The pace was relentless. Harsher, meaner, heavier than even Megumi’s was at his roughest. Your mind erased the fact that you were in the kitchen of a house. It erased the fact that your arms felt like they were going to tear. It erased the sweat under your palms as you white-knuckled the edge of the marble. It erased Megumi, peacefully asleep upstairs.
All you felt was the hot vibration of your clambering walls and the searing hot brand of his cock burning into your core. Everything fuzzed, scattered with every near full pull, then came crashing back with every push. The position itself allowed for the force of your own weight to freely bounce back on him without him needing to do much. He still gripped your limbs with such force there would be bruises. He wrapped your other leg around his waist patting your thighs to grip him as he changed his thrusts to slow, deep. Toji peeled off the shirt, a glisten to his every muscle under the dim light as it reached over his head. Arms were up high as it was shimmied off, but his thrusts were controlled. Abs worked, tensed in a motion so beautiful that you were absolutely certain that this was and would be your only religious experience.
The shirt hit the floor. Toji licked his thumb. The palm of his hand rested along your pubic bone, tilted so that he could graze your clit in such a gentle, yet effective way that you reeled. You bucked with him, using your legs to draw him in more until you felt a sharp pleasure rake your cervix, claw down the up-side of your walls. He dragged out. He thrust in.
He was close and was grappling for why the hell it was taking you so long. He felt how you squeezed his cock over and over. Your breathing slowed whenever it happened and there was a certain flicker going off in your half-lidded gaze. Your walls got tighter each time, but never released. For once in his life, Toji Fushiguro thought he had met his match in stamina. There was a click of his tongue, “What the fuck are you waiting for? Are you a dog? Only can cum on command, bitch?” His words came from annoyance and impatience.
You nodded.
Trained her like a bitch, didn’t you?
“Cum.”
There was finally release. The hot iron brandish pressed hard into your walls, your abdomen, your throat. Your walls shuddered so violently, Toji nearly lost grip. A beat behind you, his cock thrusts jerked. You’re mouth opened with a silent moan, all muscles tensing in response. Hot. He was hot and fast and you felt each rope melt along your walls and drip off.
Pulling out his softened cock, Toji looked to the dark tile ground beneath you coated in a mix of a translucent glaze and thick white. He took mercy on you then, leaning and looping an arm under your back and pulling you to him. Your arms wrapped around his neck and for a sprinkle of a second he could see what Megumi saw. One hand held you up under your ass while the other pulled his sweats up. The house was quiet once more as he grabbed paper towels to clean you up.
After all was said and done, Toji sat on the couch with you on his lap, nestled into the crook of his neck. His hand supported your back as you sniffled your way back to the present day. He wasn’t great at aftercare and if he were being honest, any quick fuck had ended when he came (which was usually last). He was indifferent to the sniffles and indifferent to the way you made little sounds of comfort to yourself. You were doing what you needed to to keep yourself together. If that included reliving each moment Megumi placed a loving hand to your cheek and cooed at how well you did, then so be it. Who you craved at the end of the night wasn’t him.
Toji wasn’t one to be possessive - yet he rubbed small circles on your back, believing that he could be.
#after long deliberation#i've decided to repost this fic from the old blog in 2021#idk i'm really attached to this fic and it's been collecting dust in my drive so i thought that it was time to re-release it into the wild.#brought back good memories <3#esp since jjk is? has? ended?#i pasted it as is and it was really nice looking back at old commends from my friends who beta read it all the way back then.#i don't have most of my old fics which makes me a little bit sad. i do regret deactivating all that time ago#i didn't save anything and the laptop it was on no longer turns on#u can thank friend for encouraging me to repost it as well since i was on the fence for a while ;v;#afab!reader cw#cheating cw#infidelity cw#dacryphilia cw#temperature play cw#burning cw#smoking cw#toji x reader#toji fushigro x reader#jjk x reader
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