#which I doubt was alot
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(warning for mentioned su!c!d3 it’s very brief but I wanna make sure in case people aren’t comfortable with any mention of it)
alright here we go
CAN I ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW F-CKED UP THE WHOLE SNAKE SITUATION IS
BECAUSE HOLY SH-T
FIRST BOTH BOYS THINK THEYVE LOST THE “LOVE OF THEIR LIFE” TO A SNAKE AND OF COURSE JOAQUIN BLAMES MANOLO BECAUSE GRIEF IS A B-TCH AND HE WAS IN THE WRONG FOR SAYING IT BUT STILL
AND MANOLO LATER ON WHILE IN A VULNERABLE STATE BECAUSE HE THINKS HE GOT HIS FIANCÉE/BEST FRIEND KILLED GETS BASICALLY MANIPULATED INTO COMMITTING SU!C!D3 AND……like that is so fucked up for xibalba to do like really fucked up(besides giving a CHILD a medal of ever lasting life cause he’s a d!ck who likes taking advantage of people but whatever) AND THEN HIS BEST FRIEND HIS CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND!!!
PROBABLY EITHER FOUND HIS DEAD BODY OR HE FOUND OUT ABOUT IT
DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THAT COULD DO TO SOMEONE
Joaquin in this moment thinks both his friends are gone that he’ll never see either of em ever again
do you realize how suffocating
how painful
how harmful that is to someone
and then when Maria wakes up…guess who has to break the news to her that her would kinda be fiancée is dead
JOAQUIN OF COURSE
and then both of them while still grieving get forced into a marriage neither of them want
it’s horrible
especially when you take in Maria’s pov who was trying to protect her lover from a snake and wakes up to learn it was for nothing she lost someone she cared for deeply and then she’s going to get married to someone she DOESNT EVEN LOVE
and don’t get me started on how Joaquin has to marry his childhood love knowing she’ll never love him back KNOWING THAT SHE’LL FOREVER MISS AND GRIEVE A MAN THAT DESERVED HER WAY MORE THAN HIM(idk I feel like he’d probably think that in his grief riddled mind but maybe that’s just me)
all in all this whole thing is awful and I feel so bad for them
#this s also really f-cked when you think about how much time passed#which I doubt was alot#this is FRESH GRIEF#all in all#horrible and saddening scene#I feel bad for all parties involved#AND THIIS STARTED BECAUSE TWO IMMATURE GODS GOT BORED#it’s so aggravating#xibalba and la meurte kinda p!ss me off not gonna lie here#but I’ll make a rant about that on my other blog#idk I just really wanna talk about this scene and the thoughts and how we interpret it#i interpreted this as three people made miserable by societal expectations and pressure put on them by their families and legacies#AND IT SUCKS#the only good character is candle maker#and the three babes who suffer from unfortunate circumstances they have no control over#either way#I again later on will my a HUGE post about my interpretation of this movie and what I thought about it and the three main characters#so…..be excited?#I guess??#my stuffy stuff#book of life#analyzing#word barf#might do a full analysis later because this whole thing makes me feel SO MANYNTHINGS#sorry if my spellings bad today im pretty tired and my eyesight is pretty bad because of it#I’ll fix it in the morning probably
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apparently it's race week wtf??? i have a 10PM shift though so.....
#amgf is yapping. . .#another proof of life!!!#once i get abhang of this internship i might post something#but y'all i don't even want to do anything when i get home#but thw internship is a fun and learning experience i'm very much enjoying the labs and working in an actual hospital#i had my doubts in the first few days but thought i would've never have this experience in a different hospital#that's just a could've would've situation that aside i'm learning alot and they have a vitros 5600??? yo i only saw that in books it's cool#a bit intimidated using it but i'm not assigned in cc yet so i'm just looking around the ropes on how to operate the machine 🤧#12 hour shifts which are actually kinda bearable and miserable 2 pm shifts#i'm looking forward for my day off but i might study instead so... yeah!#see y'all soon
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i had the strangest dream where kotoko's door reveal was that it ended up being the gates leading outside milgram prison and everyone was freaking out because GUYS SHE'S ESCAPING STOP HER GET HER BACK IN
#i was panicked too but its funnier in hindsight. girl just decided to leave us#speaking of which i wonder what symbolism kotoko will have? alot of her locations wee outside and i doubt it'd be the warehouse...?#꒰ 🌼 ꒱ ── cinnamon prattles
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the fear of being absolutely incomprehensible is a big one
#i think it comes from seeing how the people in my family (myself included) have responded and reacted to the other schizophrenic ppl in my#family. which is alot in my immediate family#when I see these symptoms in myself yes there’s this fear of what’s gonna happen to my brain but my biggest worry is how I will be othered#yes all the people who hurt me in my family are schizophrenic yes they would’ve done it anyway. vaguing my dad because he doesn’t understand#I already see things hear things have fixed delusions#etc but theees so much pressure on me to. not have the rest of those symptoms#and I doubt my parents know it#hell I put the majority of that stress on myself. idk im black and if I start talking ‘’nonsense’’ in public somebody might have the right y#to kill me#if I can’t understand myself how can someone else understand me#if I can’t understand the world around me how can I keep myself safe#im so fucking frustrated
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God can hori be any more heavy handed with the "DONT YOU WANT TO BE NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL" bestie, shes drinking other kids blood, thats not just "not normal". This weird retcon thing is annoying, Idk why hed bother putting her backstory in when he didnt give much of a shit about it 😭
The thing is, I actually don't think trying to say Toga's blood drinking is normal is necessarily bad or something that can't be done well. Quirks are a major part of the world and the story overall--it's not that far fetched that blood drinking might be a normal thing a person with a Quirk would want to do. If people can accept people that can make explosions which could also be dangerous to kids and people (and very much was for Izuku) then it's not a huge stretch to accept that blood drinking for Toga is normal and she should be accepted as such.
The issue is that Hori didn't really make that the issue. I don't think he really sees it himself given how he wrote Mineta, but Toga's main problem and why shes not accepted is a matter of consent not because she's seen as a creep.
This is why her backstory doesn't work very well, besides the fact it's way to late and very short. Yes, her parents freak out about her Quirk and obsession with blood. The problem is that they don't freak out for zero reason and are the only ones who reject her.
No child should be drinking the blood of birds. Whether she killed it or not, birds carry many diseases and parasites harmful to people. Her father shouldn't have hit her (because, I guess he did even though it's poorly conveyed), but the shock given what she's doing is understandable. Especially if they think she killed it (which is weird, and suggests she might have done something they found disturbing before this or were bad parents regardless of her Quirk).
Then they yell at her because she's biting her finger bloody. That's self harm and something you would want to send a child to therapy for. Sure, the counselor didn't help, but it's not like they can give Toga what she wants.
That's hammered home when they yell at her again when she drinks another kids blood. Hori messes up and doesn't show us what happens so we don't know if she hurt this other kid, or if they were scared of her or if they were fine with it.
Just giving us a look at her parents reaction doesn't give us any idea how she was seen by her peers. Because of that it's hard to make the case that she was only rejected for her Quirk alone, rather then her actions. In fact the only time we see other students they say she was popular and well liked until she attacked a boy in the class.
Given how young she looks when her parents yell at her for sucking another kids blood, and the fact she fled school after she attacked her crush, it appears these were separate events. If that was the case people in her school might have already heard about her sucking a kids blood earlier, and clearly not cared. In the very least we have to assume they knew her Quirk involved blood because Hori doesn't make any suggestion that it was hidden.
And that's why the theme of acceptance and Toga being normal because blood drinking is a part of her falls flat. No one ever said shit about her Quirk ever, except for her parents in sparse flashbacks. Ochako never thinks her blood drinking is gross nor do any of the the other Heroes or class 1A students. Hell, Tenya doesn't even bad mouth Stain for drinking blood even though he hated the guy so much he wanted him dead. This doesn't make it seem like the world rejected her for her Quirk.
No, the entire problem is that Toga doesn't understand consent or boundaries. We never see her ever ask anyone, even as a kid if she can drink their blood (that would have been a better scene then her drinking birds blood imho) and get rejected and told off and bullied/ostracized for her desire. Which if that did happen would explain why she never asks again and feels no one will accept her.
And, you could blame her parents and the therapist for this, but I'd just wager Hori doesn't really grasp that consent is the issue here. Mainly because Ochako never addresses it in anyway, even though she does bring up Toga's crimes. She offers her blood to Toga for life, but does not say that difference between Toga drinking her blood as opposed to anyone else's is because she is giving permission.
In the end Toga doesn't learn anything and just gets what she wanted given to her. Maybe Hori will address this next chapter but it really should have been brought up sooner. That or he should have had Toga actually not be accepted what-so-ever and shunned by all her peers for her Quirk even before she attacked her crush.
And this is part of the reason I really don't like the queer reading of the chapter is because by doing so it is suggesting that queer people are dangerous. If we read Toga's blood drinking as the same as kissing--which she seems to say (though her expression while drinking blood suggests something more...problematic) then she has been going around kissing people against their will to fulfill her own needs. If we read this as queer, is the story not saying that repressed gay people will sexually harass people because they can't understand consent when they inevitably snap?
I'm not saying this was or is Hori's intent. I think it's pretty clear he just didn't see how big an issue of consent there was with Toga and her Quirk. He wanted it to be all about how she wasn't accepted as normal, but didn't put in the work of showcasing that well. He has a lousy track record with female characters getting way less attention and with his rush to finish on top of that, Ochako and Toga got screwed with a half baked climax. Unfortunately that's also left it with less then great implications if you think about it for a coupe of minutes.
#ask#thanks for the ask!#sorry for the wait#and the back log of the other ones in my inbox#but i have a hard time focusing on one thing to talk about with Toga#since her character has so many problems#and the last chapter just pissed me off#cuz i'm sorry but neither of these two people know each other at all#Ochako doesn't know Toga's past#shes not seeing the flashbacks#and Toga knows even less about ochako#she just likes ochako because it gives Hori an excuse to draw girl on girl touching#like i'm sorry but I really doubt it's much deeper then that#I mean if he does make Toga/Ochako canon it's nice that wlw relationships get some exposure#but I wouldn't say it was good representation and I don't think that's means Hori is 100% behind gay rights#like at best I'd think he's like that fresh price meme “he's confused but he's got the spirit”#which is better then you generally get from a shonen jump title#so I wouldn't say it's worthless or unimportant#but that doesn't mean it doesn't have alot of flaws#and this isn't me saying all queer ships have to be wholesome/perfect#it's just that i think if it canon it will be treated as wholesome when it's really not#like way more issues then Catadora from She-ra#anti togachako#anti toga#anti himiko#mha#bnha spoilers#bnha#bnha critical#bnha 393
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Thinking about a certain scene in Dungeon Meshi that completely encapsulates the Autistic experience of making friends as an adult and how hard it is to try and navigate it without ending up getting hurt.
Like IDK about y'all, but this is a common problem ALOT of Autistic Adults face when trying to make friends with other people, because unlike children who aren't good at keeping their opinions to themselves, Adults ARE. In society, we're even encouraged to "keep the peace" "be polite" and etc, which commonly leads to awful scenarios as shown above when Laois finds out his buddy has come to resent who Laois is without actually telling him. All too often the friends that we love to hang out with, people that we're so happy to spend time with, don't feel the same way and in many cases, come to blame us for our social cues or lack thereof.
And when/if we do eventually find out how our friend feels, Dungeon Meshi hits us with another painful panel of how that usually ends up playing out.
It's hard for Adults with Autism to make friends, and even harder to maintain them because alot of the ways Neurotypicals tell other Neurotypicals that they don't like a certain behavior is by quietly disengaging. Whether that involves having one sentence answers, going quiet, or having a certain tone in their voice, all those things signal annoyance or disapproval, but for the Neurodivergents, those subtle cues are completely missed.
And yet when we inevitably discover we DID do something, it is natural to ask "well why didn't you tell me?" because in our minds, it should've been the next step in the equation. However for the Neurotypicals, that's NOT something to bring up. Its important to be SUBTLE about the issue at hand and rely on signals to tell the other person. Blame is placed on us for not noticing the "obvious" signs of disapproval rather than the idea of talking it out as such things are uncomfortable and harder to do. Alot of the time what ends up happening is resentment due to the idea that it was "obvious" and the fact one didn't notice indicates a deliberate ignorance rather than a complete unawareness. It ends up calling into question our quality as a person and our sincerity. We get called "fake" or "malicious" or even "stupid" for failing social cues rather than questioning the decision to be indirect and vague.
For a manga about exploring the dungeon, it seems that the artist would rather explore very real and prevalent dynamics in society with the adventuring premise as a backdrop. I felt VERY seen in these panels, and many others, because it happens so suddenly and dare I say it, plainly. There's no dramatic build-up or spectacle made and in essence, it just Happens.
I think that's what makes the scene hit even harder. It seemingly comes out of nowhere for Laois, like how it always comes out of nowhere for alot of people, and it's never a dramatic twist either. It's always mundane and hurtful. A sudden unforeseen bump in the road that ends up calling into question one's entire friendship with someone and consequent other friendships. It asks "what if other friends feel the same. What if the people that I really like actually hate me and I don't know it?" Or at least that's what I came away with after reading the chapter. I've been where Laois was and the only reason I'm not there now is because I lost the naivete I had and doubt everyone else's sincerity.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#laois touden#laois dungeon meshi#ryoko kui#dungeon meshi analysis#autistic things#autism#adults with autism#autistic adult#neurodiversity#neurodivergent
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that was mean- nicholas
summary: nicholas was having a bad week and gave you the silent treatment.
warning: argument, crying, happy ending
a/n: i couldn't stop thinking abt this no joke. so ofc i had to write it out
from late at night till he left early this morning for work nicholas has been either quiet rude or both.
we haven't spoken to eachother or not even silents acts of love. nothing.
he cut his alarm clock off and i tried to give him a hug before he got out the bed and he pushed me off of him "not right now" he grumbled and got out of bed
when he left for work i said 'bye' to maybe break the silence shared between us, but i got no response. it was starting to get lonely. i missed my bestfriend that was also my boyfriend
i had nobody to mess with or someone to talk to about my day.
to stop these lingering thoughts i go back to bed to maybe get my mind off of things.
--
i wake up around 8 am which was later than the time i usally woke up around, but today was sorta a lazy day.
it was gloomy not much sun was shining, it rained a little here and there. it was more of a slow day for me so the extra rest was very much needed
i text my boyfriend forgetting about the whole silent treatment ordeal.
me: how's your day going so far?? :)
and to no suprise i was left on delivered and soon left on seen. i messaged him periodically throught the day; hoping that maybe he would reply
it was almost time for dinner which normally nicholas cooks cause he's just better at it, but i didn't know when he was coming home or if he would even do it, so i look up some quick easy recipes and nothing struck my fancy but the pizza recipe. cause how hard could it really be?
i put a packet of yeast into my bowl along with some flour, water, oil, and salt. i let that sit for 30 minutes then im back to cooking again.
spreading flour onto the counter and placing the dough onto it; kneading it into a circle shape. this was harder than i thought
i look around for the marinara sauce and i put it into a different bowl and add a few light seasonings.
i paste that onto the dough, then i sprinkle some alot of cheese onto the pizza and my additional toppings bell peppers, spinach, and mushrooms.
i was so proud of myself especially sense i wasnt the cook, out of me and nicholas. i was really excited for him to try what i made but again i highly doubt he would even eat the food.
i put the pizza away into the oven completely forgetting to set a timer and put on a movie while i wait.
--
a smell of burning was the first thing that woke me up. "shit shit shit" i repeat totally freaking out remembering i left the pizza in the oven.
i get a rag and ineffectivley wave smoke out the air. when i open the oven it smelled horrible. i was coughing from all the smoke that had entered my lungs.
i take the burning pizza out and throw it into the sink, and hose it down with the water.
thats when i hear the front door open and mentally face palm. "what's that smell?" he asks "i kinda burnt a pizza that i tried to make"
"of course you did" he mutters sounding unimpressed. "and the fuck you mean 'kinda' you obviously did burn a damn pizza" he gestures to the chunk of charcoal burnt pizza
"it's not like i did it on purposes or something if thats what you think" my tone sounding a bit confronting.
"It's smells fucking horrible so open a damn window first off" he took a step closer raising his voice.
"you don't pay for shit so i don't understand why you almost had this place in flames secondly. then you also wanna blow up my phone while im working for crying out loud what do you want from me!" he yelled directly in my face
and im sure he knows by now i hate being yelled at. it's something my parents did and overall doesn't solve anything
i just take it, i didn't wanna fight so i go over to the nearest window and crack it open so the smoke clears.
my eyes watered from all the harsh words he could dish out but not the equal amount of attention "well.. you are- when i was.. ugh s'not my fault" i couldn't get a full sentence out. i felt so belittled in this moment
"im going to bed i don't have time for your stupid ass shit" those words hurt more than he thinks.
he had the most patience for me, always making time for us and now he doesnt.
"that's so mean.. you're being so mean" i wipe some tears that had fallen. i turned away from him silently crying.
the peices of my hair stuck to my tear-soaked cheeks. "wait- I'm sorry please don't cry" nicholas' voice was filled with regret.
i lazily push him away from me but he doesn't budge. his arms wrap around me bringing me into his familiar embrace. "I'm so sorry for being an asshole. I've been having a long shitty week and i know thats not an excuse so you don't even have to forgive me."
"you're everything to me. i swear i didn't mean it." he adds
the unforgettable cruel words he'd said to me earlier shoved ontop of his sweet loving words made me cry more.
i let him hold my trembling body as sobs tore through my chest, each inhale was ragged and uneven.
my hands clutched the material of his shirt "im so sorry sweetheart i never wanna make you cry" he explains in such a low voice, giving my hair strokes in attempt to calm me.
my face still burried into his neck tears now starting to dry away, and my breathing starting to even out. he carried me over to the couch and placed me in his lap
i was drained from all the crying, the tense feeling in my body beginning to melt away when i really started to feel nicholas' touch. my eyes drooped again this time staying shut for longer.
i was too tired to resist the sleep that had tooken over. and being cradled in his arms didn't help.
"I'll order pizza for the both of us alright?" he took me off of his lap and placed me on our couch. then lays one of our throw blankets ontop of me. "can we talk in the mornin'?" is the last thing i remember asking before dozing off.
a/n: can yall tell idk how to make pizza
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☆LAST POST,THE FINAL ADVICE☆
(Basically answers to asks I got)
Ok first thing first there is no one here to help you manifest,not the bloggers,not me, no one,if reading multiple post on same topic can't help you then why do expect bloggers to help you who are gonna give you same advice,they have been mentioning on their posts. It's not like they are writing about different things,every bloggers are telling you the same thing YOUR 4D/imagination is the true reality,you just have to PERSIST and be CONSISTENT. No like seriously I really feel like you guys are just lazy,why are you depend on bloggers,Im not saying that you can't ask for help and by help i mean understanding certain concept or doubts but you straight up ask to help you manifest or coaching don't do that until and unless they themself mention about being a coach,because see we have a life of our own too,we are God but also human who are busy in their life. Bloggers post this amazing posts talking about law and how beautiful it is. But y'all are so into the victim mindset,as if you are the only one suffering,which is correct YOU are the reason you are seeing the person taking away your sp,you are so into imagining yourself in a broke state and dwell in it,because you feel comfort in it,get a bit uncomfortable dear,you'll endup being comfortable.
You cannot just get comfortable when you are transfered in a new school,new class and the new environment,you first adjust,you go to the school everyday and get used to the new environment then you get comfortable isn't it guys. Manifesting is exactly like this you get in the state of having the desire,it feels uncomfortable,fake,delusional but the more you persist the more you get used to this feeling of knowing. It's not even necessary to be in the state a 24/7,because we are in different state all the time,just when you remember about the desire get in the state or do whatever fulfills you.
No amount of methods won't be useful if you are not even persisting and keep look for 3d validation. To sum up everything all you have to to is persist. Bloggers won't be there for you all the damn time,most of you want to manifest being independent but with a mindset of a dependent person,who are depend on other's for method and doesn't even persist in it then cries,and trauma dump on other's dm.
There is no use of DMing us too you know,we as bloggers are the one end up getting bored or annoyed,because I'm telling y'all legit leave another method and come up with a new one,I have about 50+ dms and asks asking me how to manifest or trauma dumping telling me how they aren't able to manifest,dear of course you won't be able to manifest if you keep looking for validation. I'm not saying that your circumstances aren't that bad,it's probably really hard for you but darling,everyone had faced this challenge,it's hard but learn to ignore the 3D even if it was right on your face. Be stubborn when it comes to manifesting,it took me alot of time as well to adapt that mindset,so I read alot of fanfics where reader gets whatever they want this really got me into the brat mindset,you can also find methods or ways that you help you feel fulfill,I don't care what method you are using JUST DO WHAT FULFILLS YOU NOT ME,I've got alot of asking if they should do or this,you know honey do what you believe is gonna work for you,I'm not the one using that method,i purposely don't even reply because I want you guys to try it out yourselves. That's what every bloggers did too,they learn to trust themselves and their imagination.
OK here, since most of you ask me to help manifest I'm challenging you,for the next two weeks,affirm robotically for your desire,lazy to affirm? You shouldn't be,because majority of you complain about not being able to get in a state and endup saying you'll affirm,then do exactly that.
Wavering? Keep affirming and persist.
Don't believe the affirmations? Keep affirming and persist.
Seeing the opposite? Keep affirming and persist.
Make those affirmation your dominant thought,you will know when it will become your dominant thought when it come up on it's own and you don't get effected by the negative thoughts.
But Chrissy some say affirmation don't work. SO? Keep affirming don't be a weakling just because it didn't work for them doesn't mean it will not work for you,you are not them,you are YOU ,they probably didn't even affirm enough or probably checked their 3D,there are many successful people who affirm Jennifer Lopez,Ice Spice and my fav Taylor Tookes despite being petite she still become a model and even walk on runway and now in cover magazines,if they can do it why can't you,they also affirmed right? Not gonna lie majority of the successful people who are into manifestation are into affirming.
Also log out of X and Tumblr,yes it can be motivating to see success stories or reading motivation but they are of no use,you might see a new post talking about a new method and end up leaving affirming and start following that method. Instead you should've scroll on tiktok,or youtube or making vision board while affirming,it's way easier to then wasting your time here reading posts on same topic written in different ways or perspective. So instead just log out and affirm and PERSIST.
If you are so stubborn about the fact that you can't manifest,then start being stubborn about the fact that you can manifest.
This is now my last post I will be logging out might come to check in sometimes happy manifesting🪷.
#neville goddard#affirmations#law of assumption#manifesting#manifestation#SATS#affirmation#affirming#self concept#loa#law of manifestation
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Ok, follow up post to the original cause I wanted to actually offer my analysis/interpretation on this.
I feel like this is a right/left brain analogy 🧵
Dazai covering his right side, the side supposedly responsible for the emotional & artistic things. It says alot about his mindset, accurate for that time.
It’s intriguing, then, Kouyou covers the “logical” side
I feel like this lends to why Chuuya & Kouyou do get along well. While both Chuuya & Kouyou are no doubt very intelligent (Asagiri literally refers to Chuuya as a genius) they both still lean very much into their emotional side as well. Even if Kouyou seemingly does so less.
Kouyou reveals herself, however, not only in her care for Chuuya but we mainly see it how she handled the situation with Kyoka.
She could have insisted Kyoka come back without ever changing her mind but when Dazai presents her with a way to save Kyoka from dark, she agrees quickly.
Kouyou clearly cares & wanted to help & protect Kyoka even if she went about it poorly. She was trying to help based on her past experiences, lest we forget that she tried to leave the mafia herself once, for *love* no less. She also tends to get emotional when talking about her past or her wish to help Kyoka.
But once she was presented with another solution, a far better one, she didn’t do “what’s best for the mafia”. Kouyou agreed to what was best for Kyoka & that was definitely a more emotional choice.
This is an area where Chuuya & Kouyou align. So, of course they would get along.
Chuuya always seems to find the balance between his logic and emotion. However, he can easily & often does lean more into his emotional side first, then his logical side.
It’s similar for Kouyou, even if we don’t see it as much from her.
Back to Dazai then, when he left the mafia & the cover on Dazai’s “emotional side” was gone Dazai seemed to also move more towards that balancing of the two sides.
He started off heavily relying on his logical brain & struggled emotionally. Often feeling numb or apathetic mostly, hence his suicidal ideation.
Then he meets Chuuya & this shifts. Chuuya forces him to experience new feelings. As Chuuya is a living breathing example of most things Dazai felt the world lacked. It opened Dazai to the idea that there is more to the world, there is more to *people*. Chuuya intrigues Dazai enough to make him want to live a little longer again. Chuuya gave him a reason to keep going, a promise of more.
From the moment he met Chuuya, it was a process of letting more & more emotions seep into his mind & his heart. We see how he feared for Chuuya in 15 even after they just met, even though Dazai *knew* it was a plan.
I might even venture to go as far as to say Dazai may not have feared for someone else’s life that hard before. It was a burst of unrecognizable emotions to him. After this, he only had more & more emotion seep in as the years went by. In Storm Bringer he was ready to sacrifice the city to give Chuuya a choice.
That relationship opened Dazai up to others later, namely Oda & Ango. Which only further encouraged the intermingling of his logical brain and his emotions. Then reaching the point at which the bandages were finally removed entirely and then he, like Chuuya, moved to striving to find the balance rather than relying on one side.
Bringing us back to current Dazai as he is still attempting to find that balance.
He still leans more towards his logical side. This, of course, in contrast to Chuuya who, while intelligent, more easily leans into the emotional.
Yet another thing between them that completes & balances each other. Soukoku will always pull the other back when drifting too far.
So, of course, Soukoku complement each other & it benefits them both.
Having Kouyou on Chuuya’s other side I think also does help Chuuya stay grounded while in the mafia. Chuuya isn’t one to lose who he is but I think having someone else who he knows *cares* like he does helps.
Now, additionally, if we apply this to Beast, I think this also says alot about beast Dazai & why Asagiri says beastzai would be the hardest for someone to portray.
Because *this* Dazai, is perhaps *too* far into his emotional side. He’s always intelligent but in beast, his actions aren’t fully logical, they’re emotional.
He appears cold & calculating as always but he saw another version of himself suffer the great loss of a best friend & allowed his emotional desire to prevent that from happening take control. Thus, his emotional side takes over, thus him covering the opposite side from canon Dazai, he’s covering his “logical” side.
I feel like this is the main difference between all the various Dazai we’ve seen.
PM Dazai relied heavily on his logical side, especially before meeting Chuuya. He rarely took emotion into account unless it involved the 3 people he actually cared for. We see him make emotional choices when it involves Chuuya, Oda, and Ango. Dazai did seem to let more and more emotion seep in over time as a result of knowing them, however, leading to that moment the bandages are removed.
Beastzai is leaning far too heavily into his emotional side, getting lost in it even. Acting solely on an emotional desire rather than a logical one. His desire to prevent a tragedy. He only was using his intellect to further that emotional desire.
Canonzai went through a steady progression, meeting Chuuya starts to open him up, this extending over time to Oda & Ango, leading to the cover on his “emotional” side being taken off.
But beastzai skipped all of that, all the *progression* to that point for canonzai & so beastzai just got all these intense emotions he never experienced before all at once when he saw canonzai’s memories & therefore he sunk far too deep, too quickly into his emotions.
Now current/ADA Dazai is the balance of the two extremes, and seemingly the closest to happiness.
ADA Dazai uses his logical brain as always but he also actually takes emotion into account as well and has more people he actually cares for now.
I think that says alot to the theme of bsd, leaning into that “everything is grey” dynamic. Everything is about the *balance* of things. Showcasing that anything in extremes in either direction doesn’t work.
Anyway, just some thoughts I had and interpretations of mine. Take them as you want, as always.
Oh and just to be clear, I don’t think Dazai was ever “emotionless��, even at his worse. Even if he was numb and apathetic. He was also lonely.
Just saying the more people he came to care about (Chuuya, Oda, Ango then later the ADA) the more he was able to feel a variety of emotion.
My original post:
#bsd analysis#chuuya nakahara#dazai osamu#ozaki kouyou#bsd#bungou stray dogs#soukoku#skk#bsd kouyou#bsd manga
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The winners garden
This was inspired by my emerald rogue run (the old one), with my pidgeot whom I have named Victory after the run ended (or caught a pidgey in the safari and pretended it was her)
This'll be long because it affected me that much. I didn't expect to win this run- I thought I was a goner after Wallace. I swear this run felt like a movie sequence because my god it felt so climactic (to me)
Victory was a random pidgey I caught at before the first or second gym, and I was originally going to trade her off but I just felt like I lacked flying types. Eventually, I thought she was actually a really valuable member and kept her in. It also helped alot that the pidgeotite appeared the next time I got into the battle stop store, so it felt right keeping her around-
My team had a latios, thunderus, sylveon (who died but I managed to get him back because of the random lab encounter, thank god it was just a species curse), serperior, dracovish and mega pidgeot. Pidgeot with hurricane spam is so good I kept her around even more
It was a really solid team until I accidentally stumbled into a trainer battle while getting an item, and due to an unlucky crit, my latios goes down
At this point, I got mad because "AH, MY BEST TEAM MEMBER". He had a choice specs on and his job was to spam, but unfortunately, his psychic didn't kill the mega kanghaskan we encountered. It was unfortunate, I didn't level up because I thought I could avoid the trainer, but oh well
Caught a random alolan ninetales that did good aurora veil blizzard (after buying an ability patch) and I thought she'd be fine and for awhile, it was
Until I reached the champion. Wallace killed 3 of my team members, down went my serperior, my newly caught alolan ninetales, and my dracovish. And there was also an unskippable trainer when I moved on to the next route which killed my sylveon, leaving me with only my thunderus and my dear pidgeot
Remember the species clause I said earlier? That thing screwed me over when it only had 3 available pokemon (and worse, it was a water route so the surf point also had staryu, maybe I was just impatient and maybe another mon is in the surf point idk). I caught a starmie, a toxapex and a jellicent in that route. With the species clause active, I was handicapped to fight the REAL champion. I only had 5 pokemon instead of 6
The last poke stop. The trader was there, so I took a gamble with him and traded my starmie. And what came out of it felt right- It was a victini. At this point, I was giggling to myself like "I might win" because of victinis dex entry and such, about how it being with you is basically a guaranteed victory.
After I prepared my team to the best that I could and with some small confidence growing, I pressed on.
At this point, I only remember the pidgeot battle so I'm just trying to remember here and I'm probably wrong in some details
Red was the final champion and my victini took the lead. Victini died first, he was scarfed and spammed bolt strike until he MISSED. But it was still good enough, it was now a fair 4v4. Jellicent didn't have much, but he had will o wisp, which helped alot. He wasn't trained as well as the others so he was frailer than he was supposed to be, but he weakened one pokemon enough for thunderbolt range and died. 3v4 now
Thunderus tbolt, he goes down. Thunderus had a z crystal and it one shotted I forgot who immediately after.
It's now a 2v2
Terrakion. Easy enough for toxapex to take down (and spam recover)
2v1
Final pokemon was a giratina. Shadow force. Didnt want to switch out because tox was in good health and I wanted to knock off, but it critted and tox was lower than anticipated. Knock off did alright damage and I was sure it was a clear 2 hit ko if pidgeot lived. One outrage and tox was down
1v1.
My pidgeot, the pidgeot who's been with me since the start, the pidegot that I was going to trade away, the pidgeot that I doubted. From a little helpless pidgey to now facing Satan head on
She megas and hits her first hurricane but it doesn't kill and an outrage hits her and SHE BARELY LIVED. SHE WAS CLINGING FOR HER LIFE. AND THERE I KNEW, I KNEW I WON. ONE LAST HURRICANE AND DOWN GOES GIRATINA, AND MY SOLE SURVIVOR WON ME EVERYTHING!
IT FELT SO PERFECT. THE SPECIES CLAUSE, THE VICTINI, THE TOXAPEX, THE STRESS I BUILT, THE IMPORTANT POKEMON DYING JUST BEFORE RED, THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP TAKING DOWN POKEMON SATAN, IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE MUCH VISUALLY AND SOME PEOPLE WOULD PROBABLY THINK IT'S CHILDISH, BUT I IMAGINED MY PIDGEOT ABSOLUTELY LOOKING COOL AND GOING HAM ON THAT FINAL BATTLE. THE FINAL BATTLE WAS COOL IN MY HEAD OKAY
After we won, I caught a female pidgey on the safari zone and named her Victory. It's the same pidgeot now pidgey that in my heart. And that's literally why I made this drawing. And also I significantly love pidgeot more now. I would also make an essay about my thought process when making this, but I think this tumblr blog is long enough (it was so corny ngl). Too bad I can’t bring her over but the newer game is fun too
I'm sorry this was long guys, I enjoyed talking about this way too much ahshsh
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wasn't me no one in this home of mine voted for anything of the sort and most likely anyone I know didn't either. I forget how many ppl live in the uk sometimes peace and love to the william wanters well and truly
#HONESTLY. not suprised though british mothers in their late 30s-40s i see you grandmas i see u the gay men peeping ur head out the corner#i see the princess fantasy it is not without its flowers i see it all and i meet u with acceptance#hes not ugly tho i'm the type where i don't think anyone really is or i haven't had that sort of reaction to anyone so idk though#also tbh idk how many ppl are actually taking those tests.. unless harry styles was on there because the fans the stans will get their favs#the acalades the little titles if they can with speed could be best juggler best dog shit picker upper best at climbing shit they love it#they love it all. their twitter handles at the top that shit gets cropped in obis paint on their iphone and put on twt like a proud parent#(i get it in that sense though its steering off the william topic matter)#with their kids art. was 1ce real in2 kpop and i got out to my benefit lot of shit long story i'm glad i'm in a better place now#since i got into in in probs objectively my darkest or some of my darkest not that u cant like kpop or talk about it or be in that scape#in a way thats positive or like healthy with me it was just not healthy unfortunately. my relationship is better with it now and i still#interact with content personally and more casually. i-#still have alot of love and appreciation for what ppl meant to me even if its different now i still have so much love for shit. just not so#deeply in the environment yk that round and round#standom as previous.. no doubt at the time i was thirsty for distraction i cudnt handle myself or my life basically my#life feeling like a fuckn tornado that was pissing on me so i probably no matter what were going to find vices but i have no doubt about th#talents and passion and artistry over there. all the racism and colourism n shit that just felt constant had a part#my conduction#what i surrounded me with my landscape because its a lot of inter like personal connections and heavy online bonding n just mess where its#like my fckn life force just i was screaming from the inwards outwards and still deaf to it. for me it was a host it turns out 2 be for man#cant track my gradual change really other than a year or maybe between 2 years we grow still thbink about stuff i hate myself for doing#the change happened gradually and naturally i feel though it all had dramatics its hard to track#there was shit before that when i was even younger and oh hellscape i fear it was bumpy i'm not gonna say it got better with age or smth#cause i dont believe thats true atleast not entirely i hate all of it i some of the connections i made are so key in my growth and i have s#nice wonderful like irrefutable memories i hope ppl r doing well so bad so bad some i even want to talk to again but i know for me i cant#give in 2 that pull and the day if i reconnect i will and hopefully there'll be wonderful ppl to reconnect with in that case to meet me#its all ever changing if i think differently in the future i do i just hope that will be me coming to understand myself and development#being hyper critical of myself tho i talk about me like i jumped through hoops to do detestable shit so its a balancing game and im wonky#its the fans the stans or its the royal family entourage they are vivid in my head or the ppl who came across it and decided to just add-#their 2 sence or saw it and were like hehe this is so unserious im going to be mischevious or take the piss lol#all of which get their acknowledgement its all fun and games truly those who take it serious will and shall however
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Hi! I was wondering if you could a kenji x female reader where we've both not been very intimate in a long time because kenji's career and ultraman has kept him really busy and one night reader confronts him about it and then they argue and then reader gives him silent treatment and he ends up eating her out
"Let me make it up to you"
BF!Kenji Sato X GF!Reader [Oneshot :Angst-Smut-Fluff]
TW:arguement/silent treatment/smut/eating out/oral(f!receiving)/afab reader/female bodied reader/fingering/petnames/shouting/mixed POV/not proofread yet/angst to smut/swearing
©all rights reserved. the modification, translation, and plagiarism of my work is strictly prohibited.
"God! Why can't you just give me a break Y/n!? I'm so overwhelmed and so busy!" Kenji snapped exasperated. The two of you had been fighting for a few minutes now. You just offered to cuddle for a little bit, just hoping that Kenji could let off some steam since getting really liked cuddles and his life's been so hectic. As the good girlfriend you were, you were just worried and concerned. You couldn't do much and that helpless feeling just didn't sit well for you. The least you could is be there for your boyfriend and offer him some comfort. "I just need space! Lots of it!"
"Kenji I'm just trying to give you comfort-"
"I don't want your comfort! You're so damn clingy! God. Can you just leave me alone?"Kenji sighed in annoyance. My heart pangs feeling a tightening feeling within your chest. It hurt. Raising my hands in surrender, I sighed. Those words stung. Is that really what he thought of me? I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and excuse it as the overwhelming and frustration he was feeling.
"I'll leave you alone." Was all you said before grabbing a hold of your jacket, purse and phone. With a harsh wipe of your cheeks, you left the house.
Kenji who was sitting on the couch with his back turned to the door sighed and ran a hand through his , already disheveled, raven hair. Kenji felt a heat and heaviness through his chest. He felt really guilty and bad. God what had he done?
"Way to go, Ken. Losing everybody and everything left and right. As always" Kenji exhaled before sliding his long calloused hands down his face.
Few Days Later
Silent treatment. No texts. No calls.
Just you like you promised, you would leave Kenji alone. Even when he did call and text, you wouldn't answer. As you made dinner in your cold, lonely apartment you heard the sound of keys jiggle in the door way. With a raised eyebrow, you grabbed the bat which Kenji gifted you and waited for the perpetrator to come through the hallway. As soon as I saw a shadow I swung with all my might.
"Baby! Wait! Y/n! It's me!" Kenji exclaimed raising his hands in surrender as he luckily dodged the powerful swing. God, he was glad he taught you how to swing but if he wasn't careful, he would've lost his head. With a sigh of relief and groan, you dropped the bat and turned to go back to making dinner with not a word. Kenji exhaled before following you into the kitchen. "H..How have you been, babe? I've called and texted you..alot."
Silence.
Kenji leaned against the counted adjacent to you and gently took a hold of your hand. With a scoff,you pulled your hand away. Kenji's frown deepened. His eyes had deep bags and he truly looked as if he hadn't slept in days. It didn't seem like he had eaten considering the dullness of his slightly sunken cheeks.
"Sweetie. Please? Can we talk? I'm so sorry. I really need to hear your voice. Even if you're gonna curse me out or whatever..just please"Kenji pleaded. Nothing. With a turn of a knob, you turned off the stove. Kenji couldn't stand the silence anymore. God, he couldn't. With a gentle grasp of your forearms , Kenji turned you to look at him. With a blank expression you turned to face him with eyes void of emotions. Even if you were still upset, you did love the bastard and would hear him out.
"Honey. I know I have no excuse for how I treated you, how I spoke to you, the horrible horrible words I said to you. I truly am sorry. I didn't know how good I had it till I didn't hear your voice or saw you anymore. You're everything to me and you just wanted my time and love but I was stupid and took my frustrations out on you. The only person who i truly have right now. Please...Please forgive me. Even if it's not now..I'm just begging to hear your voice" Kenji spoke sincerely. I sighed and crossed my arms. Those goddamn sad eyes. The man looked like a kicked puppy. Sad and lost.
With a gentle flick of his forehead, you mumbled out "Fine..I forgive you. Doesn't mean I'll forget it...atleast not yet. You really hurt my feelings. I was really just trying to help and spend time with you. You're really mean you know that right?"
Kenji felt like he finally take a breath of fresh air as he pulled you into his strong arms and placed a kiss onto your forehead. He felt so relieved to hear your voice. That beautiful voice. The voice that soothed all the storms in his heart. "I know. I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you. I promise. Just..please don't leave. I love you so much"
"You're kinda stuck with me, idiot. Even if your behavior says otherwise. I love you too" I grumbled out whiles laying my head against his chest. Kenji felt the relieve wash over his body. With a grasp of your soft thighs in his large hands, Kenji picked you up and placed me onto the edge of the counter.
Kenji looked deep into my eyes and pressed his forehead against mine "I'm really sorry. Please forgive me. I'll make it up. I swear it. All the cuddles and kisses. I won't neglect you again, okay?"
The couple shared kisses and cute nuzzles. They still hadn't properly talked it out but this was definetly the start of talking it out and sorting it out. Kenju nestled his head into his girlfriend's neck and breathed in her scent. God, he missed her feel, touch, smell and taste. Now, probably was the most ideal but the man was hungry and he hadn't had a proper meal in a few days. With a teasing nibble to his girlfriend's neck, Kenji slid his hands down and underneath the oversized t-shirt his girlfriend wore.
"You know..I missed you so much. So so much " Kenji whispered mischievously whiles sliding his large fingers up her thighs, sliding his fingers in between her legs whiles caressing her inner thighs. You raised a brow, but didn't protest. You did miss his touch and..talents.
⚠️SMUT STARTS BELOW HERE⚠️
"Mhmm. I missed you too, baby but what are you up to?" I questioned skeptically his hands inched closer to my clothed heat. Kenji pulled me closer and spread my legs wider.
"I'm making it up to you. I have to start somewhere, right? I really wanna show how sorry I am, baby."Kenji breathed lowly, with faux innocence. His methodic and skilled habds, ripped your thin panties off and disregarded them somewhere on the floor. With a yelp, you closed your thighs feeling the cool air against your core.
"B-Babe! H-Hey! Thats the 20th pair you've ripped up! C'mon!" I whined whiles shakily holding my thighs together. I was shaking from anticipation and slight frustration.
"Oh I'm sorry,baby. Guess I don't know my own strength. Guess you'll need something to warm you up. I know the perfect thing" Your boyfriend rasped, 'apologetically' as he forced open those soft thighs, plush legs of yours and held them open. His beautiful mauve eyes had darkened, completely dilating as his eyes laid on your glistening lips. "Aww, how cute. You missed me that much? You're so wet already"
With a denying scoff, you looked away with a sheepish flush on your cheeks. "S-Shut up. Put that tongue and mouth to good use"
"Okay. Okay. I'm getting to it. Let's get something straight though.. I'm in charge" Kenji whispered firmly into your ear before nibbling onto your earlobe. My breath hitched and my blood ran hot. God, he was so hot. Your boyfriend gently but firmly pushed you onto your back on the kitchen counter before holding your legs open by the knees. "Mhmm you smell so good. I missed you, my love. So much"
Kenji uttered as he took a deep inhale of the scent of your arousal. With a small whimper, you could only nod. He's already got you tongue tied. My breath hitched.
"W-Will you be gentle?" I breathed whiles leaning into the kisses that he peppered my neck. It had been a while since we made love. His hands teased at my entrance.
Kenji smirks against your skin, his breath hot against your ear. "Gentle? I don't make promises like that, darling. But I'll make sure you feel every inch of my cock as I fill you up." His fingers tease your entrance, circling the sensitive bud before pushing inside.
"T-Thought you always keep promises?" I gasped feeling his long fingers stretching my velvelty walls open. He gives a low chuckle, his fingers curling inside of you.
"I do try to keep my promises. But I also like to keep things interesting. Plus I'm making up to you, babe" His thumb begins to circle your clit as he continues to thrust his fingers in and out of you, stretching you wide.
"I-Im not gonna be able to walk tomorrow, huh?" I mewled whiles spreading my legs. I gasped as I felt his long, warm tongue at my entrance. Kenji smirks up at you, his tongue sliding up to your clit, teasing it with every flick.
"Oh, I hope not. I want you to feel me inside of you for days." His fingers continue to fuck you hard and fast, driving you closer and closer to the edge. That's it. All Kenji wanted and needed. To make you feel good, to be with you, to hear you.
"D-Dear christ..K-Kenji that's vulgar" I moaned as my walls convulsed around his fingers. I flushed feeling the tip of his tongue slide through my pussy lips.
Kenji chuckled, his fingers thrusting deep inside you as he begins to fuck you harder. "I never claimed I was gonna be a gentleman today, my love. I like it dirty and rough. You know that? I wanna make you feel so good and make up for the time we missed"
His tongue laps at your entrance, licking up your juices as he brings you closer and closer to the edge.
"C-Clearly" I moaned. My moans rose in volume and pitch as my hands tugged at his hair "H-How dirty can that m-mouth get?" He smirks against you, his tongue flicking against your clit. God, Kenji was enjoying this. He missed his your taste and scent.
"I'll show you just how dirty this mouth can get. Im gonna make a mess of you"Kenji promises as he begins to suck on your clit, his fingers thrusting hard and fast inside of you.
"God...mhm!" I moaned as my body began to wirthe and squirm beneath him. It felt so good. God I could feel his long fingers stretching me out and brushing against my sensitive walls."G-God I m-missed you!"
His voice is husky and rough as he continues to suck and lick at your clit, his fingers pistoning in and out at a punishing pace. "I know, baby. I missed you more. Let me hear that voice of yours" Kenji demands as he smirks up at you, his hand still working you hard. That beautiful voice of yours. Those days without hearing you, without feeling you, without tasting you were PURE torture. "Oh, I'm just getting started."
"K-Kenji..i-im uh..close" I purred as my eyes rolled to the back of my head. I was so close. So close to that euphoric finish line. His fingers curl up, hitting that sweet spot inside of you.He chuckles against you, his tongue continuing to swirl around your clit. I moaned.
Eventually I ended up screaming as I climaxed. I was in heaven seeing literal stars. I cursed making a mess all over his fingers as I screamed"O-Oh God! F-Fuxk! K-Kenji!"
Kenji's fingers continue to move inside of you, slowing down now that you've climaxed, though he doesn't remove them just yet. "Good girl. Now for round 2" His voice is husky with desire, his tongue coming out to lick at your juices still dripping from you. I squirmed beneath him as I felt my body calming down from the high. I was so sensitive.
"I love you so much. Now let me make it up to you"
#ken sato#kenji sato#kenji sato x reader#ken sato x reader#ultraman 2024#emi ultraman#ultraman rising#ultraman#kenji sato masterlist#ultraman masterlist#kenji sato x you#kenji sato x chubby reader#kenji sato smut#ken sato smut#kenji sato x plus size reader
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──── ❝ LETTERS ❞ 💌
After years of sending anonymous letters, Riki finally decided to be bold enough and end the letter with his actual name.
၇୧ ׄ ִ Fluff, not so slow burn, lil bit rushed at the ending. 1K WC,𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑
With shaky hands Riki placed the nice designed envelope into your locker. Slamming the metal material when he heard footsteps getting closer.
He’s sprinted away almost immediately practically crawling on the floor to get over to where his friends stood. Which was just a few centimeters from the Locker.
“So….who are you proms going to be?” You conversed with you friends about the upcoming prom in three days.
Riki watched wishing that he could one day be bold enough to strike up a conversation with you. Even if it was about the most random things.
One could say that Riki wasn’t a very shy person but when it comes to y/n he can deny that statement with his whole heart.
“Oh I’m already going with Cha sunghoon you know the one in class B” her friend Danielle responds with a beaming smile.
“Ooo I didn’t know you could pull” you teased turning to open your locker.
The moment you pulled the handle, a pink letter slipped out. The way the person wrapped it made it look so appealing to the eyes, you felt a sudden urge to unwrap the letter.
“How about you— hey what’s that ?” Minji asked staring at the paper lying on the floor.
Bending down to pick up the letter, you sighed. “It’s another letter”
“What do you mean ANOTHER so you’ve had a few?!” Hanni asked her face written with nothing but amazement.
“Not a few, yeah alot. But the thing is, I’m tired of these letters. It’s just the person I have in mind is…..” you paused taking a look around almost making eye contact with Riki until he diverted his gaze from your direction.
“Is who?” Danielle asked with anticipation.
Bending down to pick up the letter, you analyzed it before unwrapping it. “Dear y/n I know we’ve never actually talked. But if you’ve noticed the handwriting. Yes it’s me, secret admirer ;). I’m going to reveal my name at the end of the letter but all I want to ask you is if you’d go to the prom with me. It’s okay if you’ll say no. I completely understand since you probably don’t even know me but I would highly appreciate one chance. Your secret admirer, Nishimura Riki” Hanni and minji read out loud earning a side eye from you.
“Bro who even is Nishimura Riki? I’ve never heard of them”
“I don’t know either y/n but what I do know for sure is that this person is in this school” Hanni shrugged.
“That’s a very useful information” you sarcastically responded rolling your eyes after.
“Y/nnnn~ you didn’t complete your previous statement” Danielle sang in your ears.
“What previous statement?”
Minji scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “The one about you having someone in mind”
“Ohhhhh that!” You recollected. “Yeah what about it?”
“You dummy! Who’s the person you have in mind???” Danielle yelled in your ears causing you to push her away.
“I DON’T KNOW HIS NAME!! Ugh you’re gonna burst my eardrum. He’s just this one dude that sits at the back of my class. He just has this intimidating aura that’s pulling me even closer ugh” you bit your lower lips seductively.
“Ew”
“Shut up! It’s not my fault no one has asked you yet”
—
The bell rang indicating the end of the day.
You held onto a piece of paper rushing out of the class before the teacher even declared the assignment.
“Hey! So sorry to bother you. But do you know anyone named Nishimura Riki?” You asked stopping a fellow student.
“Nishimura Riki?” They repeated followed by a well detail description.
“Thanks!” You smiled now on a haunt to find the said boy.
“Riki?” You whispered softly in the empty corridors. Almost everyone were gone by this time. You doubt you’d even find the ‘riki’.
“Ah YN…” Riki answered turning to face you. His eyes darted everywhere but your eyes. His chest was feeling a sudden burst of emotions. While his cheeks were a light shade of pink.
“So you’re the Riki?” You spoke softly realizing it was the intimidating boy who sat at the back of your classroom.
“Y-yes” he answered trying to hold back a mere smile. He felt the sudden urge to look at her face. But his shy demeanor around her would never make him have the courage to.
“Could you look at me…” he choked on air. No way he was going to meets eyes with you. “Please?” You pleaded quietly. An imagination of you pouting crept into his mind making it harder to resist.
With a sigh he slowly turned his head to face you. “Yay!!” You beamed happily.
“Sooooo you’re actually secret admirer?” You asked just for confirmation.
Riki nodded shyly feeling a bit embarrassed. “I accept” you blurted out unexpectedly.
He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Accept what?”
“You asked to go to the prom with me right? Yeah I accept” you said slowly.
“REALLY?!” He yelled excitedly. Calming down after realizing how eager he sounded. “I mean. That’s really cool. It makes me so happy right now” he squealed.
You giggled at his reaction. “By the way, I’m heading home now. Wanna come with me?” You requested tilting your head to the side.
“why not? I’m also planning on going home anyways”
With clear hesitation, Riki stretched out his hand for you to take. Hoping you’ll get the hint.
You stared at his hand in confusion. “Ohhh” you joined hands with him after realization came in.
Your hands felt so soft and warm.
He often glanced back at you as the both of you walked through the empty dark streets. It was only the street lights and your smile that lighten up the environment.
the moment he would never forget when you bid goodbye to him in front of your house,placing a soft kiss on his lips. His body felt numb the moment your soft lips made contact with his.
The smell of your intoxicating perfume lingered in his Brian.
“See you tomorrow, boyfriend! Or wait! We’re together right?” You paused waiting for his response.
Riki didn’t even think twice, nodding his head to your question.
“That’s awesome!” You smiled widely running into your house, closing the door behind you.
Who knew you had eyes on him this whole time.
#enhypen#enhypen fluff#enhypen imagines#enhypen x reader#enhypen riki#nishimura riki#riki x reader#Riki fluff#enhypen niki#niki x reader#niki fluff#enhypen x you
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never yours to have
brothers bsf!jude bellingham x fem!reader
summary: he was never yours but it didn't stop you from wishing he was
a/n: i am RUSTY so please show this some love thanks 😌 i'm also not really an angsty writer so this is not my normal style
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𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧
10 years you'd known jude. he was 11 and you were 10. he was best friends with your brother. you'd been close for as long as you could remember. all his moves to different countries you'd been there. all his hard times you'd been there and him vice versa. there was never any sort of label between you as you got older. your brother had always told jude you were out of bounds and told you jude was out of bounds and that was that.
you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't find him attractive, of course you did. but you were certain of two things: he was your brothers best friend and he had one hell of a reputation for being a fuckboy. you couldn't really blame him for that second part, but you always told yourself it was something to be weary of. you'd never be reduced to a number, and your brother would no doubt kill you and jude if something happened anyway.
little did you know your feelings were being reciprocated ten times stronger. everytime he was near you his heart skipped a beat. it was wrong. maybe that's why he wanted you so badly, because he knew he could never have you. you were his best friends sister, strictly off limits. but he couldn't help it. your smile, your laugh, your eyes, your voice, everything about you was perfection. to jude, you were the most beautiful person inside and out. and oh how he wished you could be his person.
your brother had decided that it was necessary to have a huge house party for his birthday, and you'd been forced to go. you weren't exactly happy to be, much preferring a quiet evening but the prospect of seeing jude after him being away for so long made you alot more excited than you wanted to admit. you couldn't help but keep glancing over to the door, waiting for jude to arrive. but when he finally did you wished he hadn't. he brought a girl? not just any girl either, quite frankly she was the most beautiful girl you'd ever seen and there she was hanging off his arm. she was perfect and she had jude. bitch.
it was immature, it was petty and it was stupid. nothing had ever happened between you and jude, you had always been strictly friends so you weren't really sure why you felt the way you did. why did this have to be the time you realised your feelings? but you were still angry, still hurt. it was irrational and you knew it, so your solution was to get drunk and avoid jude like the plague. but you couldn't run forever
"where have you been hiding?" he appeared behind you.
"shit jude. why would you sneak up on me like that?" your drink had gone all down your top. perfect.
"m sorry. come here" he grabbed a towel and attempted to dry you, something which any other time would be completely fine with you. but this time it felt wrong. you snatched it out his hand, admittedly alot more aggressively than you intended. "what's with you? can't take the drink?" he was drunk, and his arrogance was no longer attractive, it was infuriating to you. "shut up jude. i just don't think your girlfriend would appreciate watching you feeling me up" you spat and turned on your heel.
but he followed you. "what the fuck does that mean?"
"just leave me alone jude"
"no what's with you? you've been avoiding me since you've i got here and now you're making digs"
"no i'm not"
"are you jealous?"
"i'm sorry?" was he serious?
"are you jealous?"
"i heard you the first time jude. no i am not. why would you even think that?"
"don't know, but it would explain why you're acting so stupid"
you had nothing to say to that. ultimately he was right. you should be happy for him. why weren't you?
he paused, then talked slower and calmer than before.
"you know there's nothing going on between us right? we're just friends. she knows someone else here so we just decided to go together"
"then why was she all over you?" you mumbled, matching his low tone
"dunno. she'd had a few pre drinks so she was just tipsy"
you stared at him again.
"i like you y/n. not in a friend way. in a i can't think straight around you way. and your brother will probably kill me but i can't keep this in anymore. i don't want you to think i'm with anyone else because you're the only one i want"
"jude don't fuck me about" you were barely whispering, too afraid for this to all be some sort of joke.
"i wouldn't dream of it. i mean every word y/n. i think i'm inlove with you"
you'd unconsciously stepped alot closer to him, gazing up with glassy eyes. your brain screamed that he was drunk, that he was a player, that he was your brothers best friend but your heart said otherwise. you liked him too and you were gonna give it your best shot.
it was like he'd read your mind. one hand slipped to the back of your neck, pulling your lips to his while another fell to your waist. he was angelic. so gentle, so careful. he kissed you like you were fine china. a prized jewel that needed all the respect in the world. you melted into him. it was perfection, something you'd been dreaming of for years. the kiss meant absolutely everything to you. everything.
you could've kissed him forever if your brother hadn't come outside to find you both. "what're you both doing out here? it's cold come inside"
jude grinned at you in a way that had your heart bursting. "come on"
it wasn't long before he'd disappeared. and he'd been gone a while. you thought nothing of his absence until you noticed she was missing. you made your way upstairs looking for him when you heard someone else call out his name. another girl.
no, surely it wasn't.
the shout had come from the bathroom. you walked slowly, shaking hand turning the handle. you knew then and there what had happened. you knew you should've walked away. but you didn't. some twisted part of you wanted to check, and if it was what you thought it was, you wanted him to know you knew. you wanted him to know he'd hurt you. so you opened the door and you were met with a sight that made you feel physically sick. she hadn't seen you, clearly lost in her own please and her hair being held in jude's hand probably didn't help her ability to look in the mirror and see you. but he did. he met your eyes in the reflection. regret clouded his face instantly and he stopped. her head raised at his halted movements, clearly confused and you muttered a quick sorry before slamming the door.
you couldn't breathe. you needed to get out, get away from him and his lies. you ran back out to the garden that he'd confessed his feelings for you and kissed you in not even 20 minutes ago. you stood in the same spot and you let your tears fall.
why were you so upset? he was never yours to have
#it has been a min wow#writing this gave me a fat headache#jude bellingham#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham fanfic#footballer x reader#footballer x y/n#football imagine#footballer imagine
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Haii! Ive read your sub Heizou fic and omg... I kept thinking about scaramouche while reading it. I've also taken a liking to your page! Your writing is soo goodnendksjdnxw sub scaramouche fic when? 🥰🥰🎀🎀
(I feel like in going to interact with your page alot so can I be 🎸 anon? >_<)
“ 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗮 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 ”
✦ 𝗰haracters: sub!scaramouche x dom!reader
✦ 𝗰w: mirror sex (at the end), implied orgasm denial, implied overstimulation, slight choking, cock can be interpreted as strap
✦ 𝘄ord count: 1.02k
✦ 𝗻otes: You’re always welcome to my page, lovely 🎸. This is written especially for you. <3
It became a routine for Scaramouche to send pictures of himself when wearing different outfits. It was just a time to time update, like you had asked, but he had gotten unexpectedly used to it.
For a man who has impeccable fashion taste, you would always shower him with compliments with every picture he sent—because of that, he saw it as a way to get your attention.
As usual, you received a notification from Scaramouche and it was a mirror shot. The picture was enough to make you smile but what took your attention was the message he sent after it.
"It's been a week, when are you coming over?"
Scaramouche had gotten clingy as well after establishing a relationship.. or maybe there's something he's after.
"My schedule's packed for this week, maybe by the end of the month we get to spend time again."
You replied, which he immediately read. It took a while for him to respond as it turns out, he was preparing another picture for you. Only this time, his shirt was lifted up, his teeth biting on the fabric to expose his stomach.
"How about right now?" He sent with the picture.
You could almost read where he's going along with this but you decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
After a few back and forth bickering, his pictures and messages had only gotten more and more explicit.
"My bed's missing you."
"Wanna show me what 34+35 is equal to?"
"Something wants to be filled and it's not my expectations."
If only he knew how much you actually wanted to rail him right now. If your schedule wasn't so packed, you'd be having your way with him.
Though who said you can't? It didn't take long for you to arrive at his place, a sight you could never get tired of unfolding right before you.
Scaramouche's nails clawed your back, almost holding for dear life as you mindlessly pounded him to oblivion.
"Wait..! Too full~!!" His grip around you tightened as he squealed with every thrust you give him.
"For someone so teasing, you sure can't take a lot," You commented, grabbing his thighs to push back, spreading it out even more.
Scaramouche's eyes narrowed down at you, biting his lips gently before speaking, "I didn't expect that simple words would provoke you."
His statement made you chuckle before closing the distance between the two of you. His legs spread apart as you pushed your cock all the way inside, resting close to his prostate, making him squirm from the sensation.
"It didn't provoke me, Scara," you cooed to his ear, "It only motivated me."
Before he could respond, you bucked your hips, finally hitting his prostate. Scaramouche's eyes widened as he lets out what could only be described as a scream.
"ngAHh~!! ♡ ♡" His back arched from the sudden thrust to his prostate, a hoarse moan was forced out of him, eyes rolling back from the pleasure.
Your back has been marked to the core by his nails, it was painful yet you enjoyed the feeling—after all, it was the result of having your way with him.
Scaramouche's thighs starts to tremble, his head rolling back as moans after moans stream out of his throat.
Just the way his body reacts to his prostate getting abused turned you on, how could you ever get tired of fucking this man?
"Do I fuck you good, Scaramouche?" You grunted, hands on his waist to keep yourself moving on the same pace. The only answer given to you were mewls, poor Scaramouche can't even think properly as he seems to be seeing stars now.
"aH~ aH!~ goofmgnh~ sho goodddh~!! ♡" A few minutes after your question, Scaramouche starts to ramble, his tongue lolling out of his mouth with every word he says.
His cock was leaking precum, spilling all the way to his thighs. If he wasn't so focused on having your permission, he would've finished since then—but only good boys get that, right?
The sound of skin hitting skin was loud as you fucked Scaramouche harshly yet his moans were still louder than anything else. His pretty body was filled with fresh bitemarks and hickeys, even on places that's exposed easily. Not to worry, he won't be complaining anytime soon.
"fuck..! fuck! mnghah..!" He squealed as he watched your cock disappearing with every thrust you give, almost like his hole was sucking it in. His inner walls tightened, receiving a moan from you, "hagh- g-gonna cum!~ ♡"
His words served as a signal as you swiftly changed his position, turning him around to make him face his bedroom mirror. Scaramouche's eyes widened after realising your intentions.
"N-not like thisfhAHH~♡♡!!" Words were cut once his felt your cock fucking him in a rougher pace. You pinned his hands on his back, your free hand crawling up and wrapping around his neck so tenderly.
"Look at yourself as you cum," You whispered to his ear, your eyes staring at his in the mirror. The way you talked to him didn't help, everything was deliberately turning him on, his back arching further as he felt his body grow weak.
He was close, so close to finishing. Scaramouche knew that if he disobeyed this one last command from you, it's back to square one. His eyes never left the mirror, scanning the way his body gets pounded by you. The sight alone was making him scream in pleasure.
"mngha- cummi— i'm cummingghhaHH~!! ♡♡♡" Scaramouche's eyes rolled back, a long moan flowing out his mouth as his cock squirted cum all over the place, even reaching the mirror.
Once the white fluid stops spilling out of him, his volume decreased. What could only be heard now are heavy pants from him, his chest heaving with every breath he took.
"We're not yet done," his eyes widened once more as he hears you speak down to his nape, "You still have to make me cum, remember?"
Exhaustion has never felt this pleasing, Scaramouche knew he was in for a long night, and he wouldn't have it any other way.
#Genshin Impact#genshin impact#Genshin#genshin#genshin x reader#sub scaramouche#kunikuzushi#sub kunikuzushi#scaramouche x reader#sub scara#sub scaramouche x reader#genshin scaramouche#genshin scara#smut#smutfic#the balladeer#wanderer#modern scara#modern scaramouche
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Aegon Targaryen NSFW Alphabet
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Super Clingy, he wants you to hold him close to your chest and play in his hair. Maybe let him softly suck on your nipples while he lets out soft whines from coming down from his high. He adores skin to skin as well afterwards. If you were into to trying it he would love to cock warm with you and fall asleep still inside you.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) His favorite part of himself is honestly probably his dick, the boy cherishes that thing, its probably the thing he uses the most on his body as well lmao. He is 100% a tit man, sucking them, biting, fucking them, it doesn't matter he adores your tits, he adores them no matter the size as well.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) He loves cumming inside you no matter what, it inflates his ego to astronomical levels to see himself leaking out of you knowing that he is the only one who gets to fill you with his cum. If you dom him though make him cum all over his tummy and lick it off of him and he will go absolutely feral.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) Definitely has stolen a pair or two....or more of your panties for him to wrap around his dick when you aren't around to please him. He loves the feeling of the soft lace going up and down his cock while he pleasures himself.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) He is pretty damn experienced in the world of sex, i mean come on the man is a bit of a man hoe. (We love our little sad man hoe though)
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) He loves trying all kinds of different positions with but he has two favorites to use with you. His first favorite is facing each other on your side with your leg over his waist and he will just thrust up into you while looking into your eyes. The second is cowgirl he adores when you ride him and take charge f the situation.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) He can really be both, sometimes he will be kinda goofy with you and make you chuckle then other times he is so into the feeling he gets from having sex with you that he just kinda zones out and becomes more serious into the moment.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) He has a very small bush o hair that borders on being a darker shade of a blonde, it certainly doesn't match the gorgeous silver hair that adorns his head. He doesn't really keep it tidy, but keeps it managed if that makes sense.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Depending on the mood of the moment, he can either be very intimate with you and kiss up your neck while he tells you how much he adores you or he can be very straight to the point which is what tends to happen of the point of having sex that day to simply make a heir.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) He masturbates alot, even though you two have each other he just enjoys pleasuring himself when the moments you two can't be together arise. As I mentioned before when he does masturbate he usually wraps a pair of your panties around his cock and will moan the filthiest shit as if you are right there with him. "Oh fuck....baby....feels so good wrapped around me like that".
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Mommy kink Slight bondage feel like he might have a bit of a lactation kink as well pegging light spanking (like put him over your knee and give him a light smack to his ass, don't worry you'll see more of this later)
L = Location (favorite places to do the do) He doesn't give a flying fuck where you two have sex but his favorite place is without a doubt the throne. He loves setting you on his lap and letting you ride your king till he spills himself deep inside of you on the most wanted seat in the seven kingdoms.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) Everything, Aegon stays in horny mood 24/7. He would get really into things though if you initiate things, like walk up to him and whisper in his ear "Be a good boy, Aegon and I'll reward you with your pretty cock in my mouth.""
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) I think Aegon would be very firm on never hitting him, he doesn't mind you smacking his ass or something like that but never hit him in the face. It would just bring back alot of memories about Alicent he doesn't wanna have at that time.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) He loves to eat pussy, he would lowkey tell you it's his favorite meal. You will 100% have to push him away from you to get him to stop fucking you with his tongue. He will keep on till his face is soaked in your release.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) He doesn't have a preference on the pace sometimes he wants fast and rough other times he wants a slower pace and to savor the moment. He leans towards being slower and sensual more often then anything else.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) He loves a good quickie, especially the ones where anybody could walk in at any second. His favorite place for a quickie is the dining room table, he loves to just bend you over it and fuck you to his hearts desire.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) Oh he is definitely risky, he likes the thrill that comes with being so risky. We have already mentioned a few of the risky things he likes to do such as stealing your panties and the quickie locations.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) Usually about 2 back to back, though if you have sex several times throughout the day then he can go for many more rounds then generally.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) He definitely owns a few dildos, both for you and for him. He loves being pegged as well so there is for sure a strap somewhere in his room.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) He definitively likes to tease and make sure you know that he is being extra needy for you. However if you tease him then he will be a whining mess.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Loud, he doesn't care who hears. If the whole castle hears him getting fucked then so be it, he will let out the loud whines and whimpers. If you peg him he may actually scream when he cums.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) When he's been a brat bring him to your chambers and lay him over your knees. Give him soft spankings while telling him "Mommy wants you to be a good boy for her *Smack* I want you to learn to not be a brat *Smack*" 9 times out of ten he will whimper back "I'll be go mommy, promise"
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) Aegon is about 6 inches in length and has a medium sized girth. He is just big enough to make you feel the most sweetest stretch. Don't be fooled though he can still shove it down your throat and make you choke on it.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) It's Aegon, he is possibly the horniness person in the world. He wants you all day everyday which I feel makes his yearning in the category of VERY VERY high.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Almost instantly, He wants to be snuggled up to you first before getting nice and coxy under the blankets. He would adore if you played in his hair while he drifted to sleep.
#fanfic#alphabet#house of the dragon#house targaryen#aegon the second#aegon targaryen smut#aegon ii targaryen#hotd aegon#aegon ii fanfic#aegon targaryen x reader#aegon targaryen ii#aegon targaryen
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