#where i pushed through the pain

[ruporas]

i only intended to send 1 ask and come back l8r but i have chronic brainrot and rereading your bound to want comics is just nonstop reminding me of all the things i loved about them. so u get 3 deranged rambles in a row!

THIS ONE WILL BE SHORTER I THINK

(spoilers, it isn't)

but i actually realized this Just Now, rereading the comics side by side/one after the other as i pick them apart

but in vash's dream, their relationship is so one-sided.

wolfwood verbally hesitates to indulge, saying it feels "wrong" to dance together. his hold on vash is a bit loose, and he doesn't really make eye contact.

it's vash who leads the dance, and vash who reassures him, says it's okay, tries to say that he wants to be together... and leads into that charming dip at the same time. every move that's made, it's made by vash. wolfwood just lets himself be pulled along, and seems surprised by it the whole time

...but it's a dream. and reality is so different. SO VISCERALLY DIFFERENT.

in part 2, there's SUCH a theme of wolfwood taking the reigns on their relationship. of course half of that reason is because vash has backed off completely and is running from his problems, but even then he's actively stepping up. he's reaching out. he's proactively trying to rekindle their connection.

it's HIS idea to sit them down for drinks, HIS idea to open up with honesty, and when vash starts to cry, HE'S the one that reaches out to wipe the tears away.

even when they start dancing after the ID, it persists. wolfwood is the lead now, and he's also the one that asks for vash's hand first. he's also the one that OPENLY ADMITS that he wants vash, when vash never could (or would? the nightmare did cut him off, but that could've been symbolism for the way his own fears choke him up and never let him say such things out loud. idk pls tell me)

but now wolfwood's hold on vash is steady and strong. actively holding him close and urging him CLOSER. even taking the lead to pull him in for a kiss at the end

though as much as i talk about wolfwood taking the lead in their relationship here- which he DID- it's also so much more reciprocated. it's healthy. they're both drawn in by each other. even if there's more themes of wolfwood taking charge here, this is REALITY. THEY BOTH WANT EACH OTHER. VASH HOLDS ON TOO, EVEN IF WEAKLY THANKS TO HIS FEARS

and it's just such a brutal, silent representation of how insecure vash is about this sort of thing... among other emotions.

in his mind, wolfwood barely participated at all. their relationship ended badly, too. but in reality, it's SUCH a two-way street. they both cling to each other and they're both so desperate for each other.

like aaaaagh i almost wish the dream was a little longer so i could analyze the differences more lmaooo. the pacing for it is already so perfect, but it's such a neat peek into how vash perceives their relationship in his subconscious, where there's no holds barred

idk i just feel like you're so amazingly insightful about how vashwood works emotionally. you understand them so deeply, from their tendencies to their insecurities and more.

and i might've been wrong about some stuff in this ask, but i'm ok with that. it's an opportunity for u to correct me on your interpretations and talk more about vashwood >:)

you're not wrong at all!! i was also going to not elaborate too much bc i could speak forever about their individual perspectives and view on the overall relationship, but here we go,

it can definitely be viewed as one-sided with the insecurities heavily weighed on wolfwood's side in the dream and vash leading him into reassurance, that it's okay to just be, and it's okay to share in that moment of intimacy, before it's quickly washed up by his own impending fears of having that luxury. it's a reflection of his personal desires too, of what he can lean into to help wolfwood feel loved and bearing his heart.

but yes, ultimately, reality is different!! vash can't bring himself to do ANY of that and he withholds, for 2 weeks and probably longer if wolfwood didn't intervene. wolfwood, to me, is a Very generous person. he DID give vash space to sit and think about it for that time, but he realized soon enough that this wasn't something that was going away and that it was actively weighing on vash. when wolfwood realizes vash needs a push, he goes for it immediately, leading to his directness, to opening a bit of his own vulnerability, and then realizing mid-convo what it was all about, making him more decisive in his actions.

vash has repressed for sooooo goddamn long, he can do it for another million years if he had that time, so if he needed to, he would repress all the way up until their separation. wolfwood is very Human and even if time had ran differently for him growing up, he still runs on human time, which i feel aids in him being more strong in his pursuit initially ( that is to say, imo, as their relationship progresses and gets deeper, it kind of flips, with vash being more earnest and open, similarly to how he might be in the dream, and wolfwood returning that earnestly in full, but he's also plagued everyday by his mission and guilt and the potential doom of no man's land-- but anyway, that's a detour note-- )

like aaaaagh i almost wish the dream was a little longer so i could analyze the differences more lmaooo. the pacing for it is already so perfect, but it's such a neat peek into how vash perceives their relationship in his subconscious, where there's no holds barred

ehe well!!! bound to want is only one of my long vashwood comics!!! bounds of more opportunities in the future to dig into vash's self isolation, being as lonely as he has been for soooo long, and his point of view on yearning for wolfwood and whatnot. i can dig into it for so long, hopefully i'll have more time to work on my other longer comics over the summer that may dive into this area!!

i always found vash's pov to be really interesting, because in the manga, we see a lot of wolfwood's progression and his love for vash bloom through his inner thoughts, but we don't get to see vash's thoughts of wolfwood, not until . ahem. so, i have fun analyzing the way vash rescinds in general when it comes to relationships while juxtaposing his intense desire and want for this one person that manages to make him want in the first place. and in bound to want particularly, i wanted this to take place after the ship/home arc and before the remembrance of july arc. canonically, it's too early for them to develop these kind of relationships, but i've taken the reigns and shuffle events in there to further their love, as one who takes canon to fanon does.

i've always viewed vash as the first to fall in love in trimax and it's a steady accumulation, from their first meeting 2 years ago when he was read at point blank by a weird priest, to being the first face of the old world he abandoned that he sees, to wolfwood lingering around, following… filling up the space so he isn't alone anymore. and despite their conflicts and disagreements just prior, vash ultimately relied on him during the home arc, needed to because he couldn't have done it alone unless he wanted to lose more people. he knew wolfwood then, he knew his methods, but in that moment, he couldn't tell him to not kill. he didn't tell him to kill either, he just left it to wolfwood, trusted him so vash, with all his grief and emotions, could handle emilio. and afterwards, wolfwood comes out injured but not broken, he's okay! and i think that really sinks into vash, the whole concept behind reliability is so foreign to him because he really tries to handle everything by himself and now there's suddenly someone else who gets what he's asking for with a mere glance, someone who he can fight back to back with, and it'd just be soooo much for him.

the thing about vashwood is that they're both lonely in a very similar manner and they hurt, shy away from the companionship of others, but they are both also kind and giving. and i'd imagine they'd both recognize this mutual feeling somewhere in the air between them, but neither approaches it because it'd just lead to hurt.

because vash has been in love for muuuuch longer though, i think him steadily figuring out the potential hesitation behind wolfwood initiating anything makes him want to start the conversation first, but thinking of starting is different from actually working up the nerves to. there is confidence in their companionship and trust in wolfwood, but wolfwood is also a guide and time and time, that's been reiterated back to vash; a reminder that their time together is temporary, that wolfwood is here for a mission and not for him, and that vash has a responsibility at the end of their journey that he can't bring a human in to fight alongside him. Combine that with his complete and utter fear of himself considering he doesn't know how his body works at this point, it's a combo of insecurities in both parties of the relationship that he /wants/, but knows he shouldn't and doesn't deserve to have.

i don't know if any of that made sense, i rambled a LOT more than i needed to GMKSMGDSGMKSD BUT YEAH. ANYWAY. there's tons to explore behind vash's psyche and wolfwood's, GOD, wolfwood's psyche is so… i shake him everyday. but with vash, even if there is greenlight signs from wolfwood, he will always doubt first. i imagine, after he got rescued by wolfwood in vol 8, only then is when he can unabashedly 110% have full faith in what he reads from wolfwood and trust in what he feels, which is devastating considering the limited free time they got to have.

BUT OK ok im done. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF YOUR MESSAGESSSSS, THESE MEAN A LOT TO ME, as i mentioned!!! i'm very thankful for all of your analysis and tidbits to my silly little comic… it really makes me genuinely so happy that someone could give so much thought on it and pick up things that were intentional or just providing observations, its so wahhhh T__T I FEEL HONORED, really, thank you so so much!!!!

[cemeterym]

i'm begging my uni to stop making every fucking student social activity something where you have to walk around a bunch if you are a slow walker who cannot help it they literally want you dead

[argcicle]

i’m staring desolately at a wall right now. why are minecraft men so sad and wet and cat

[miamicommune]

thinking abt how nemesis kind of sets up what should be the most thematically interesting ambition in FL and how quickly that fades as it goes

[weathernerdmando]

Me: despite knowing that I will be in a lot of pain later if I don't do it for the five hours shift, I don't put my knee braces on.

Me five hours later with my entire lower body in enough pain to make me want to not walk around at all:

[mariatesstruther]

Even though it’s very obvious because JJ is like 6 month old minimum, until I saw the ask you go I completely forgot how much time passes after Seattle and before Ellie goes off again and like, we all grieve but why the hell would anyone have an issue with Dina or Maria for leaving Ellie and Tommy when it’s been so long since Joel’s death and they’re still losing sleep over Abby.

Thanks to whoever sent that ask because it just reminded me of how long it was and now I can only think of the shit the two of them went through (especially new mum Dina) trying to help Ellie and Tommy move on before they finally put themselves first

right!!!! like to that anon, u went off. what a point you made

call me whatever nasty things yall want, but i’d probably peace out after a MAX of a year of that shit—let alone after EIGHTEEEEEEEN MONTTTTTHHHSSS. as a parent, probably even go sonner than that with our child in tow

[everywhere-all-around-the-world]

longish post where i ramble about my thoughts on the relationship between Scars (2021) and COMFLEX (2023) by Stray Kids

Scars by Stray Kids, 2021

COMFLEX by Stray Kids, 2023

While Scars is more about embracing the bad times to work towards a brighter future and Comflex is more about embracing one’s weaknesses and fears and accepting them, kind of turning them into strengths, I do like to think about the concept of Comflex being a kind of sequel to Scars.

Scars is a song set in bad times where things seem hopeless, and you feel bad about yourself, you feel like things can’t get better. So Scars talks about keeping hope for a better future, despite one’s scars in the journey that you’re taking. Despite all the hurt you’re experiencing, all the emotional wounds, you persevere for better times ahead.

Comflex is like, the epitome of confidence in song form. You accept your imperfections as parts of yourself and you accept the scars of your past. It feels like the future of Scars to me, like you’ve found your success and confidence. This is the brighter future you worked towards in Scars. And now you’re more confident to show the “scars” of your past, the emotional pain, the perceived weakness, because that’s part of you. Your scars, your pain, your weaknesses are all a part of you and thats fine, and that can even be your strength.

I feel like both songs kind of speak on showing and being at peace with your pain and weakness, and showing that to the world without letting it be something that drags you down, but rather lifts you up. Scars feels like the beginning of that—hopeful, persevering. Comflex feels like the future—confident, comfortable. Both songs display weaknesses being your strength. Strength to persevere, strength to show the world what you’re made of. Your weaknesses ARE your strength.

did i mention how much i love stray kids lyrics and song writing !!!!!

[shararan]

tfw you cant write because no manner of seating arrangement currently works without major pain and your body feels like its about to fall apart into pieces jfc if it aint the neck its the shoulders or lower back or elbows

[arlo-venn]

This is psychological warfare

[loverboybrightsideghost]

god i love being a musician

[blackwaxidol]

Drone's muscle strength far exceeds that of the organic form she was built to mimic. being caught in her grasp is nauseating, her hand around your throat... it is not all dissimilar to having your limb caught in the jaws of a factory machine. the kind you are pulled free from only after the machine has been baptised with a pint of your blood.

mm. will she smile, at the popping and tearing of your laryngeal structures? will you see her teeth, lacquered to a dark sheen? will you make her laugh? she has tumultuous mastery of her facial muscles, the corners of her mouth do not move in a way that suggests a smile so much as a mirthless grin. the mechanical exposing of the steel teeth to imply one's pleasure, nothing more.

[nondivisable]

I need to say something and I need y'all to be calm

if it isn't actively bad or harmful, no representation should be called "too simple" or "too surface level"

I have a whole argument for this about the barbie movie but today I wanna talk about a show called "the babysitters club" on Netflix

(obligatory disclaimer that I watched only two episodes of this show so if it's super problematic I'm sorry) (yes. I know it's based on a book, this is about the show)

this is a silly 8+ show that my 9 year old sister is watching and it manages to tackle so many complex topics in such an easy way. basic premise is these 13 year old girls have a babysitting agency.

in one episode, a girl babysits this transfem kid. the approach is super simple, with the kid saying stuff like "oh no, those are my old boy clothes, these are my girl clothes". they have to go to the doctor and everyone is calling the kid by her dead name and using he/him and this 13 year old snaps at like a group of doctors and they all listen to her. it's pure fantasy and any person versed in trans theory would point out a bunch of mistakes.

but after watching this episode, my little sister started switching to my name instead of my dead name and intercalating he/him pronouns when talking about me.

one of the 13 years old is a diabetic and sometimes her whole personality is taken over by that. but she has this episode where she pushes herself to her limit and passes out and talks about being in a coma for a while because of not recognizing the limits of her disability.

and this allowed my 9 year old sister to understand me better when I say "I really want to play with you but right now my body physically can't do that" (I'm disabled). she has even asked me why I'm pushing myself, why I'm not using my crutches when I complain about pain.

my mom is 50 years old and watching this show with my sister. she said the episode about the diabetic girl helped her understand me and my disability better. she grew up disabled as well, but she was taught to shut up and power through.

yes, silly simple representation can annoy you if you've read thousands of pages about queer liberation or disability radical thought, but sometimes things are not for you.

[wishful-seeker]

I would like to see more people talk about how jobs treat disabled employees.

I used to prep, wash dishes, and cook at mellow mushroom. I had chronic pain that wasn't NEARLY as bad as it is today, but it was still very debilitating. I told my employer "i cannot stand more than 4 to 6 hours. I CANNOT do shifts longer than this due to my illness." And even though i made my boundaries VERY clear, everyday i worked it was 8 hours at the least and 10 or 12 at the most. I would go up to my manager and say "look i really need to leave, my shift is over, my chronic pain is killing me." And he'd say "we really need to here, you HAVE to push through." And so i did, and after one, ONE month of that job my crps got incredibly worse to the point where i could no longer walk my dog around the block which was .5 miles. I quit, and that was FOUR years ago, and ever since that day I HAVE BEEN BEDRIDDEN AND HAVE TO USE A WHEELCHAIR. It is my biggest regret in life.

My best friend who has seen my whole journey has recently developed undiagnosed chronic pain, and she is in the EXACT same scenario i was 4 years ago. Busting her ass at a pizza place with extreme pain that hurts her so much she tells me "im in so much pain i don't even feel like a person." She doesn't feel LUCID. And her manager and coworkers are saying the same thing "if you don't help us you will let us down, we'll be in the shit."

That job thats hurting you isn't fucking worth it. I promise you no money is worth losing all your physical abilities and never getting them back. Your coworkers and boss do not give a shit about you, so don't you dare suffer for them. They will never understand your struggle and they will never try. They truly think being understaffed is worse than whatever pain you experience. They would rather you permanently damage yourself than inconvenience them. FUCK THEM. DON'T FUCKING DO IT!

[sillyspruce]

My chest aches

And I’m reading my favourite books again

I have lots of intrusive thoughts

And I’m cooking and drawing again

I have very severe moodswings

And I’m singing in my car and humming the melodies of my favourite songs again

I sometimes feel very depressed, like it’s the end of the world

And I do laundry and change my bedsheets again

I feel confused and frustrated and like I’ve lost myself and everything

And I do yoga and meditate and work out again

And my heart often sinks in my chest, filled with dread

And I can freely laugh with my friends until I can’t breathe and my stomach hurts again

[s0dium]

𝐖𝐄𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 𝐏𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐘

A/n: For all my weird tumblr smut AO3 girls Synopsis: No one expects the weird girl to have such a good pussy. Warnings: Male whimpering, squirting, pussy drunk men, pervert y/n, unprotected sex

No one suspects the weird girl to be a perverted fiend.

No one suspects the weird girl who reads AO3 and Tumblr on the bus and has key chains of their favorite chibi anime guy. No one suspects the girl who fumbles over their words during a presentation, the girl who goes to classes in sweaters and sweatpants, the girl who spends her time daydreaming about fictional scenarios. No one suspects the girl who always seems shy and sweet, only to have a secret stash of explicit fanfiction hidden on her phone, the kind that would make even the most confident person turn red.

And of course, no one expects the weird girl to have such good pussy.

So when the confident, smooth-talking guy gets you in his bedroom, how the hell is it possible that he is trembling from pleasure just from slipping his tip in?

"Fuck, I c-can’t—" he groans, his voice breaking as he stumbles over the words. His usual cool demeanor is completely shattered, replaced with breathless gasps and desperate sounds. His head is thrown back, neck taut, and his eyes are screwed shut like he’s trying to hold onto every ounce of composure, terrified that if he opens them, the mind-numbing pleasure coursing through him will slip away. Every time your pussy squeezes around his aching dick his body trembles uncontrollably, muscles tensing and relaxing in waves as he tries to keep himself together.

"Look at me," you coo, your voice steady despite the pounding of your own heart. You may be practically a virgin, but you're by no means an idiot. Hours of reading smut, scrolling through Twitter porn threads, and indulging in endless fantasies have taught you more than you'd ever admit. You've spent too many nights alone, lost in stories and scenes where you imagined yourself in control, learning every filthy detail in your mind until it felt like second nature. So now, laying here with him unraveling over you, you're anything but inexperienced.

He locks eyes with you, big and desperate and you cup his perfect face with trembling hands.

"You're mine tonight ok?" you whisper, bringing him in just enough for your breath to tickle his lips, your voice low and dripping with confidence you didn't know you had. "Every sound, every breath—your mine."

"F-fuck, y-yeah I'm yours" he groans, accentuating his words with a sharp thrust right into your cervix, knocking the wind out of you.

"Mmm!" You cry. It’s painful, but in the pain is so much pleasure. He presses his forehead against yours as he slides in and out of you, gripping the sheets with his supporting hand as your hot, wet entrance swallows his cock. Instinctively, you're cunt squeezed around the foreign intrusion, trying to push it out, making him let out a low groan of his own as he thrusts even deeper into you. 

“Y/n I-I can feel you doing it to me,” he says hoarsely.

His fingers gently press into the skin of your hip, guiding and steadying you as he pulls back and thrusts into you. The sudden friction and collision with your G-spot makes your brain go fuzzy. Ticklish pleasure courses through your veins and you immediately throw your head back against the wall as he rams into you.

"Hnghh, s-so good~~" You whine. It was dizzying, the curvature of his dick digging itself against your g-spot, scraping against your vaginal walls every time he backed his hips up.

Simultaneously, his other hand sought yours, finding it with a purposeful tenderness. His fingers intertwined with yours, locking them together in a grip that was both a clasp and a caress.

"Were we doing it like this in your head baby?" He grunts, his Adam apple bobs as he groans from the pleasure of how fucking heavenly your pussy feels. "Because this is how we were doing it in mine." He felt good? Try euphoric. How could it be possible that pussy feels this good?

You can't even open your mouth to respond. The friction of his dick against your walls is just too good and as his pace intensified, a dizzying warmth spread through you, filling every corner of your being with a euphoric haze. The sensation of being completely enveloped, utterly connected, sent electric flesh arrows of pleasure through your body, making your eyes flutter and roll back slightly in sheer bliss. Every motion he makes, every time his fat tip collides with your cervix, leaves behind a trail of sparkling heat that seems to light you from within.

And of course, no one expects the weird girl to be a squirter.

You don't know whats happening and you don't have enough to warn him. Release washed over you in an all-encompassing wave, radiating out from your core to the very tips of your fingers and toes. It swept through you like a storm, leaving a trail of starbursts in its wake. Your body arched instinctively, clinging to him as the wave crested, then gently, slowly, began to ebb.

He stills his motion and watches through wide eyes as clear liquid sprays onto his abdomen and you tremble and moan. As you floated back down from the heights of bliss, your breath came easier, softer, the lingering aftershocks of pleasure pulsing gently through you.

"Why did you stop?" You whisper.

Sukuna, Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Toji Fushiguro

#weirdgirlpussy

[the-unofficial-village-idiot]

Thinking about how i've been playing harry in regards to his interactiosn with kim and The Implications of it