#its hard NOT to feel hopeless when i sit here and cant even WRITE.

[amoonytalks]

0.2 - trying to start a conversation about love and failing miserably

It's 3 o'clock (afternoon) as I write this. I have been procrastinating for days now to start putting this post together, even though I have some bits of it well established in my head and the only thing left to do is to actually sit down and write it. Its a mix of procrastination and not at the same time, but I think the context in general is useless here. What matters is that I'm writing now, if it really matters, if someone is really going to take the time to read a random girl complain about love.

Love. Its probably one of or my favorite subject in the world. I cant explain it, but I have always been fascinated by all the issues surrounding love. We tend to be dazzled by what is unknown. Not that love is actually unknown to me. In my depressed daydreams, I sometimes thought that I didnt deserve love, but nowadays I recognize that I have been and continue to be surrounded by it. Love is in the little things. We have a habit of trying to define simple things in ways that are mostly unnecessary, and love is one of those things that, despite being everyday and natural, trying to put a definitive concept on what love is seems offensive, because love can be many things. If I were to ask a group of different people what love is, we could analyze how each person tends to have a unique vision for various reasons. That is what fascinates me. Love is something Im so curious about that I can hardly help the excitement I feel when I'm asked to talk about it, and I even end up stumbling over words trying to put something together that makes sense to others.

On this blog, we'll still be talking a lot about love, in all its forms and colors. You can be sure of that. But the kind of love I want to talk about today is romantic love. I'd also like to make it clear that if you came to this post expecting an in-depth, scientific analysis of love, sorry, but you can leave. This blog is more about the daydreams I have when the night turns into dawn and baseless philosophical theories. It's more about me than anything else. But I still talk because I believe that somewhere in the universe you would read this and identify with it, or at least welcome it. I have a lot to say and little to add, perhaps.

Im 16. Im still a teenager, going through moments that are probably less stressful than the hormonal upheaval that a 13-year-old goes through, but which are still a bit complex. Nowadays I have a group of friends who make my school career less hopeless than it could be, and honestly, even though I'm not the friendliest person in the universe, I feel comfortable with them. Not as comfortable as they probably feel with each other, given the variety and ease with which they deal with certain subjects, but there is still a sense of comfort, I guess. Anyway, whether you are 16 or not, it's not hard to imagine that there's an incessant search by people in this age group for love. My psychologist says that all our feelings are much more intense at this stage, and love is not so different. Passion, fever, everything is much more intense now than for people who have lived longer.

But its just that in this part of life there we have a false feeling that we had experienced every possible emotional level, but love can be seen very new, because you will rarely truly experience it at a young age. As we grow up, our feelings become more complex, but in contrast, we become more & more mature in dealing with them. But, this is in theory. In practice, we are still the same star mass we were when we born, just with more experiences. But experiences dont always form maturity in certain people. Look, its easy just analyze the amount of ignorant and immature beings we find out there, on the streets, on television and even in positions of supposed power (yes, elon musk. I'm talking about you. you're like a cry baby. or as clarice lispector would say: you're like a hair in the soup). This ignorance is projected into various scenarios, affecting the world in a certain way.

Well, we are still talking about love. We all know that immature people end up hurting people, and you probably know (or you are the person) who has already had a major disappointment in love. They say that breaking a heart in love is one of the most painful feelings in the world, just like losing a piece of yourself. That sounds crazy to me. Dont get me wrong, if you are that person with a broken heart, I would never take away the value of your feeling. Its not crazy that you feel bad about having your heart broken, what I find crazy is the fact that someone, in their merely human and mortal existence like you, can hurt something as precious as a heart. If I were to elaborate further, I would add that my perception of romantic love in certain scenarios is closer to pain than to a positive feeling. Im not going to go into depth, at least not in this post. But if you are wondering why my view is supposedly pessimistic (it's not), know that I say this without ever (fortunately) having experienced disappointment. But if you're the person who had your heart broken and found my speech unfortunate, if it makes you feel a little better, know that I've never experienced romantic love. In any way.

It was because of this that I had the idea to start writing this post while doing the dishes. Its not something unknown or that I suddenly discovered, but it still left me in a state of shock for a few seconds. I'm pretty sure that I'm still very young and that love will still come, but it was a strange shock to realize that among all my friends and acquaintances at my age, Ive been lucky (or unlucky) enough never to have been graced by romantic love. On the other hand, whenever people ask me if I ever liked someone, I say yes. But the reality is that I havent really feeling the feeling of what love is suposed to look like. I have come very close to it, so close that remembering the feeling causes me distress. Because it was painful, like I have already say (but I have that pessimistic view of love even before that). It was like having my pharyngeal pathway blocked by thorns. This whole thing about love not hurting is a lie. Love hurts, just like all other feelings. Even joy can be painful, because while you're feeling it you know that it's going to end and one day your happy moments will just become memories. That could be considered pessimism, but I see it as a way of facing reality.

I believe that never having felt love is also a bit of a misnomer. Everything I know about romantic love comes from stories. And trust me, I have heard a lot of them. As I said at the beginning of the text, Im completely obsessed with this subject, and I think part of this interest started when I saw people talking about it so much. Im curious by nature, but for as long as I can remember I've had people around me treating me like some kind of therapist, what creates a feeling that they can be free to tell me their most secret confessions. Also, It must be because Ive always been an extremely considerate girl towards others, in the sense that Ive always been very fond of being silent and consequently thinking too much, what creates in me a feeling of empathy. The more you think, the more you acquire the ability to be a good analyst. Analytical people give good advice, apparently. I leave that as a tip to make life easier. The more you analyze, the more you know, the more you know, the easier it is to deal with the world. But knowledge, like love, can be very relative.

“The more I knew, the more I wanted to know. He had mad appetites that grew more eager as he fed them” - the portrait of dorian gray (book good as hell)

It's already 6pm. I had more to say, but this text has tired me out. Ivee realized that I go round in circles for too long and in the end I dont even know what Im getting at. I think its because this is still my first post, so unfortunately I still feel a bit stuck… But let's get back to it, so you will have to follow me to know what my big conclusion would be.

Actually, you don't have to. There's no big conclusion. Thats exactly what love is. You start trying to fit words together to try to explain it and in the end you get nowhere. Or it would, if I wasnt so tired. Tomorrow I have a chemistry work at school to present, so I could use that as an excuse, saying that Im only going to close my computer to study. But I definitely wont. I hate chemistry and Im going to study what I need to 5 minutes before my presentation. Normally Im very involved in schoolwork, but this time Im not in the mood for several reasons. One of them is that I have lost patience with my more intimate relationships at school. The same subjects tire me out. Talking for a whole morning about love and sex has become quite exhausting… What the hell?

Love… I genuinely couldnt care less. I lie. I genuinely couldnt care more. Because talking and listening about love every day is definitely taking its toll on me. These days I've started to crave love more than anything else, because it seems so good, the new always seems either good or scary. And when it becomes scary, I feel angry, because instead of making fake scenarios like the ones I usually like to make alone in my room, love comes up like a damned curiosity and Im left trying to dismember a feeling that seems impossible to understand, and not knowing something causes me either stress or fear. I know I shouldn't be afraid of love, but just knowing doesnt make me stop feeling it.

Knowledge is relative. Love is relative. And what could be more interesting than relative things? I wish I had more time to study about love, but school drives me crazy with its unfortunate content load. Anyway! As soon as I have more time, I'm going to study love from a scientific point of view and form my own philosophy. And I will write about it. But until then I will write about other things, obviously, but in my view no other post would be cooler than one about love. Or maybe. I have several ideas.

[trickstarbrave]

i have a weird idea in my head thats like. only half formed so i prob wont write it and also doesnt seem that interesting. but its just balls to the wall shit in the form of qiu haitang also being replaced by a transmigrator but like. very early on.

she knows shen jiu will kill her whole family. shes just in the body of a child though and the system wacks her if she tries to get him kicked out or even thinks about having him thrown out. so she grits her teeth and puts up with him sitting in her room or staying close by her. 

until she notices things a typical child wouldnt. he is kept well groomed but usually his clothes are of lesser quality even tho hes supposed to be her fiance. sometimes his sleeves slip up and she’ll see bruises. he is unusually quiet, not the weird pervert the og sqq from pidw. he is quiet, nervous, his eyes get progressively more hopeless, and whenever her brother’s voice rings out in the house or her brother looks at him he stiffens up and looks ill. 

then she hears, while sneaking around, her brother beating him. and she realizes whats rly going on here. 

she ends up getting ooc freedom. she lets him hide in her room. she calls him more and more often. she gives him medicine for his bruises. she learns to hate her brother and the way he looks at her, hate the people who live there and think they can keep this from her. she talks to him, genuinely, trying hard not to poke at his abuse too much but give him an outlet. when he starts limping into her room she starts sobbing and shen jiu doesn’t even know why. shen jiu is no longer a villain who conspired against her and her family but an unwitting shackle to keep her there while they abuse him to the point of insanity. 

and then one night she can’t sleep. she lays there tossing and turning. she has a bad feeling. she cant sleep knowing shen jiu is probably being hurt. qiu haitang creeps out of her room, to her brother’s study, and hears him beating shen jiu senseless, and she just snaps. she bursts in, demanding answers. she cant take it holding her tongue anymore. her brother is getting aggressive now, telling her to mind her business and go back to playing pretend, to being a good daughter to their family. he makes a motion to hit her. shen jiu attacks him from behind, enraged and he hits so hard he’s barreling toward the wall. 

he barely has time to turn around before a heavy paperweight is in front of him and qiu haitang is bludgeoning him to death. system be damned, she cant fucking take this anymore!

she’s only stopped when shen jiu pulls her off him. he’s already long dead, blood coating her inner robes and the floor. his head is unrecognizable. something in her feels just as shattered as his skull. she’s killed a man. 

shen jiu tells her he is going to kill everyone in his manor. she tells him to let her pack her things; she has no intention on stopping him. her love of this place and this family died when she first heard her brother beating shen jiu. its more than dead now, rotting in her heart like a corpse knowing her brother was going to beat her too for stepping in. qiu haitang simply leaves him as the manor goes up in flames with the advice to not just the new teacher he is going to get and to go to cang qiong.

qiu haitang learns cultivation on her own for a bit. shes a wandering cultivator. she wonders how much she’ll fuck up the plot if she refuses to be luo binghe’s wife. she doesnt have it in her to go after shen jiu for the murder of her family; they deserved it. and she knew shen jiu would never hurt her; that he probably never hurt the original qiu haitang either. that he had saved her after paying back everyone in that manor that had hurt him and then burnt that hell to the ground.

but then cang qiong disciples from qian cao or another peak find her. the system doesnt tell her she shouldnt. she goes. shen jiu is still a bit rotten and bitter, but hes a bit better. she encourages him to talk to yqy. she never becomes a peak lord i dont think, but i think she’d be interested in medicine after she failed to help shen jiu when they were younger with his injuries. by the time luo binghe comes sqq is still dedicated to making his life hell, but she knows why now--she called her brother a’luo. she can see the way shen jiu sees both himself and her brother in lbh. much like yqy she cant bring herself to blame him entirely; she wishes it wasn’t happening both bc lbh doesnt deserve it and she doesnt want sqq to suffer, but he is pretty dedicated to being at least a lil cruel. 

i think qht figuring out shq was a fellow transmigrator early would be funny. she and an ding’s peak lord just bitch all the time locked in a room. double points if this qht is gay. sqh like “why were YOU reading by bad stallion novel” “for the hot women obviously. women are gorgeous. you write a lot of very pretty women, its hard to not find several you like and theyre really fun. dont want to be in the harem tho.” 

and then ofc shen yuan transmigrates late into the game. he has no idea why qht is at cang qiong. he has no idea why yqy is a little nicer to him than usual. he acts like she is going to ruin his life. its only after a while she figures out this is NOT shen jiu. and slowly spirals as she realizes her friend is fucking gone. shen jiu is gone, for good. shen yuan has no idea how to help. he does however get the exposition dump of sqq’s sad backstory though, which he may or may not use for sympathy with lbh. 

now theres three idiots bitching about missing the internet and what to do with the plot even before the conference. theyve potentially thoroughly fucked it up now. shq doesnt wanna die. sqq doesnt wanna have his limbs cut up. qht doesnt wanna be in a harem and misses her childhood best friend. 

[duckieeart]

Victor’s - Moody Date

Hello! This is my entry for @little-butterfly-writes ‘s Contest . It’s my first time writing and I really enjoyed the process of it, enjoy reading this date!

Fandom: MLQC - Victor Li x Duckie (Mc)

Genre : jealousy jealousy jealousy , comfort , Filled with romance ( fluff)

Word count : 3,309

As If its not obvious enough to everybody.

I have feelings towards my boss, victor Li. I did fall in love with a person that I know i can’t reach even if i had him in my wildest dreams. I all i am wishing for is that no one know about these hidden feelings hoping that i will be able to maintain the decision i took and forget about him, But unfortunately things goes unplanned after I experienced certain feeling. jealousy .

If Kiki , Anna , the rest of my friends and colleagues found out about my secret feelings including the letters I wrote about victor secretly , I would get in big trouble , what letters you may ask? It’s simple. Basically, when i feel like I can’t control the love i feel towards him . I write down all my feelings in a letter and hide it somewhere , i got this idea from a movie i watched last year. At first , I haven’t thought not in a million years that I would use this idea and especially writing my unwanted feelings towards my CEO ,Aka victor li .

He was very strict and seemed to be very rude, i used to hate on him . He isn’t my type in men plus we’re completely different. Its not a big surprise since he is the CEO of an worldwide successful company ,LFG.

Just to clarify our differences. He made his company from the beginning meanwhile me, A young lady who inherited a show from her father once she Graduated from college. I didn’t even have an experience in life or the business field.

Everything were so difficult to me and it felt like an endless maze , the fact that I have him as my investor was like a miracle . Not only that but he really take good care of me . He is older in age , with a mature mindset . I am just young reckless, hesitant and inexperienced girl who just got a big position and so naive comparing to what she is responsible for .

I thought alot about giving up but victor make me change my mind and Instead of giving up he gave me the motivation to challenge him , i was in the mood to show him and prove to him that i can take the harsh responsibilities like an adult And be someone who is trust worthy enough to have his five hundred million investment in my show .

With time, i fall in love with him. And with everyday goes by it only grows bigger and bigger than the day before. The more i try to hide my feelings. The more it becomes obvious . When he confessed his feelings to me that day in the rooftop. I was beyond happy. I couldn’t sleep that day. But I quickly get back to the harsh reality, and remembered the huge gap between us, Victor deserve someone near to his position. Not me, comparing to him i am just a crybaby who rant about submitting reports and dealing with the deadlines every week .

But one day, I don’t know what’s goes inside my brain . I couldn’t even control my own body. When i found out that Victor would go to the awards banquet with another woman, I stopped thinking and I couldn’t care less about how weird i am behaving with my colleagues . In that night , i saw victor leaving the fancy banquet hall with another woman.

She looks way more mature and wiser than me. To put it in simple words she has everything i lack, and to my unfortunate luck. She does everything way better than me . And tonight , I witnessed My heart sinking in the ground. Its like i just got drenched in icy cold water in this snowy weather . I drank Alot . Wine, whiskey and even brandy . I couldn’t even recognize the bitterness in them . I just drink to be numb and ease my heart.

When the banquet came to an end ..

“ you two can head home first, its late . The weather is pretty today so i just want to walk and be alone for some time “ I spoke with a shaky voice tone, then left after grabbing my hand bag from the table.

“ whats wrong with our boss? She’s has been acting weird these few days especially today” Kiki spoke to anna.

Anna were worried as well , she just shrugs in confusion replying to kikis question.

“ i have never seen her like that before!” Anna added

“ it’s dangerous to let her be alone !, we can’t just leave her there! “ kiki said

“ she wanted time to get her self together, I think its very inappropriate for us to interrupt her wishes . * she smiled * Don’t worry minor would keep his eyes on her from afar “ Anna said while patting Kiki s shoulder gently to comfort her .

After leaving them. i rushed to the back beautiful garden to try and process everything happened tonight , the scenery were amazing but I couldn’t focus and appreciate it , I started regretting what i did, I shouldn’t push him away acting dumb and slow from the beginning. I love him more than anything, I admit i am very jealous and I don’t know how to deal with it because its my first time feeling this way about someone. I have never wanted someone as much I do for Victor.

These feelings were so exhausting to bear alone ,I was so hopeless that i even shared my story anonymously in tumbler with people but everyone advised me to stay away and forget about him for endless reasons. Yeah, they were right. But..

I also can’t… I CANT STOP LOVING HIM AND GIVE UP ON THIS . people wont have mercy on us and our relationship since we are a boss and worker in love but now seeing this . Realizing I might lose him forever. I don’t care, seeing him taking care of a random woman and accompanying her in the banquet really make me rethink about everything and even that thoughtful decision i took and was so confident about . I decided to head to the parking section for cars to follow them. I started running like crazy .

“GOD PLEASE PLEASE LET ME MAKE IT , PLEASE DONT LET THEM LEAVE TOGETHER ! . PLEASE.. I CANT LOSE HIM THIS TIME” i said begging .

I can lose anything and everything, but not him. I can’t lose Victor!

Because no one loved me like he did And I can’t imagine falling in love again with a different man.

Suddenly my foot slipped and i fall.

The expensive pair of high heel that i brought got ruined too. One of them broke But I couldn’t stop here! Im still in the middle of the way . My legs started be numb and it hurt a little because these shoes were new too , But I didn’t care, I can’t lose the path that can lead me to them! I still have to find Victor!

When i reached to the cars parking space , I couldn’t find them…

My nose suddenly started to burn and my eyes started sweating?, i decided to go back inside the banquet and sit . I couldn’t find chair there so I went to sit the corner on the stairs like a lost child. I started to cry heartily like a baby who lost her parents . But for me comparing to the baby I lost everything, I lost Victor..

My body is shaking and I couldn’t stop the thoughts in my mind. My mind went wild and started to even imagining how they would look together in the church . Kissing each other passionately after announcing them as a husband and wife. My heart suddenly started to beat so fast and I began to struggle breathing , while sobbing quietly.

Suddenly i felt a warm coat landed on my head, shoulders and has familiar manly scent ..

my face were swallowed, especially my eyes and nose. I was slow to react and realizing that this coat belongs to him…. And only him. Victor..

I felt strange feeling , i was happy and relieved that i was able to meet him again.. and that happiness give me strange feelings in my tummy . I believe that’s what they call “butterflies in the stomach” , I felt really warm. I don’t think it’s because of that coat. But him. Who give them his scent and body temperature

“ * sigh helplessly at the view* Dummy.. what are you doing here in this condition ? Don’t you know it’s dangerous area, especially in this hour? What if someone came for you ? Or even decided to kidnap you ,taking you away ? What are going to do? I searched everywhere for you and I couldn’t find you its like you weren’t in this earth from the beginning , WHERE THE HECK YOU WERE??? ………. But most importantly are you okay? Did something happen?……… Duckie , are you crying? “

my eyes couldn’t stop the tears from coming out when he were talking in such an sharp voice, he was really worried so he was furious to see me in such a state alone , but when he noticed that i was crying so hard, sniffing and wiping my eyes his voice turned so soft and calm

he grabbed my hands and hold them between his hands to warm them up

I refused to talk or face him because i wasn’t looking at my best right now, he just kneeled down to my level like prince charming and looked at me, he noticed how swallowed and red my face are.. he reached with his hands to hold my cheeks while massaging my under eyes

“ do they hurt A lot? “ he said quietly ,

I nodded while looking in the ground, my eyes fell upon his shoes trying to avoid his glare.

“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine too. Lets go home first … its getting late” he said..

I nodded because i was too tired to reply using sentences . I stand and remembered my broken heels and slightly injured foot.

Before I could explain, Victor carried me bridal style , I didn’t needed to explain anything. I felt warm , safe and happy, that I forget that I’m being held between his arms . I gave up to the warm sensation and fall asleep.

Victor put me in his car gently , wrapping my body with his big coat then went to grab hot tea and body warmers from the super market near by.

i took some time to wake up, when i wake up i was still in his car , the car was really warm. I didn’t find Victor on the driver seat so i looked outside.

i saw him tapping on his tablet working and answering calls . I also noticed that we’re near the sea and its 12am . I took my time appreciating the view , then i knocked at the window. Victor saw me and returned to the car.

“ you wake up, how do you feel now ? “ he asked with a soft voice

“ i am better now , sorry for making a scene back there. I was really upset about something so i was drunk , angry and upset thats why I decided to be alone , sorry i worried you and caused you trouble “i said while looking into his eyes.

“ dummy… And why did you drink? “ he said angrily ..

“ please don’t be mad i was just so upset, can’t you just allow me to drink only this time?” I said

“ yes, i am angry at you… but also glad to see you safe and better. After all , i can’t ask for more from dummy like you” victor said then poked the tip of my nose lightly with his fingers , after that he patted my head gently, smiling at me .

“ its late, let’s head home” he said

After few minutes driving i realized that we are in different path and its unfamiliar to me.

“ where are we going “ i asked hesitantly ..

“ to My home” he said

“ to your home??”

“Well, only if your apartment was nearby like my home. Its late already, just sleep tonight in my house” he said calmly

I nodded in agreement.

After few minutes we arrived.

Victor opened the door for me , i entered inside . His home was big but also felt so warm and cozy . Victor turned to face me “ go and take a hot shower, then dry your hair. Don’t get cold. I asked them to prepare you clothes. If you need anything ask me “ he said

i went to the room. It was big as expected and has a fancy bathtub. After i finished showering and preparing for bed. When i was about to head to sleep, I suddenly heard knocks on my door .

“Get in “ i said

The door was opened and it was victor, he was wearing his classic black pjs

“ as expected, you didn’t even dry your hair yet you headed to sleep anyways“ he said..

“What if you get cold?” He added

He went to grab a hairdryer from the drawer . Then turned to face me

“ come here” he said

I understand what he want so i sit and give him my back. He started to dry my hair, touching my hair so gently. After he finished drying my hair he took a hair tie and started to tie my hair.

“ there’s something I wanted to say to you” he said

“ hmm? “ I replied

“ i will get to the point “ he said

“ I might not know what exactly that got you so bothered like that , but you must know that there are a lot of circumstances in the world that are out of our control. The causes and reasons behind every circumstance is complicated. In a world where it’s impossible to know everything, it’s normal that we experience things we cannot understand and find difficult to accept. Even so, we have to accept it. There are many ways to accept it. Crying is also one of them. However, only for one night. ( he took my hand that was planning on reaching my face)…. And don’t rub your eyes, it will be better if you leave it and take a good sleep “ he added .

After leaving, he leaned to kiss my head .

“ good night “ he said

“ wait! “ i said

His eyes locked into mine , waiting for me to say what I want to say.

“ why did you went to the banquet, with her? “ i couldn’t stop my curiosity so i asked him .

He chuckled quietly then pinned my chin forcing me to look at him..

“ you jealous? “ he said

A bold idea came up to me ,

“Yes..i am! “ I didn’t wasted time and answered his question seriously.

He was frozen in his place , stopped chuckling and has a surprised face expression .

I gathered all my courage to say the three most difficult words ..

“ i love you victor! “ i said , while looking into his face..

then reached to his face and give him a quick peck on his lips ..

“ don’t make me feel this way again, I hate it !“ i said and then went for another kiss . But He didn’t kiss me back , still surprised by my bold move.

“ when i saw how you looked to her when she was talking to you . You were smiling while and looking into her eyes , I wondered if you ever started to lose your feelings towards me , i was really scared of losing you.. i even started to imagine how you would look in your groom suit .. standing beside her in front of everyone… i was so scared “ my voice cracked at the end.. i felt the tears forming in my eyes

“ I really… really don’t want to lose you . I did my research about her, She won countless times and even has the f-“ my speech were cut off with his hot kiss .

He closed his eyes and rested his one hand on the back of my head and the other on my neck.

He pulled his lips away from mine when he noticed how i was struggling to breathe.

“ … you talk too much” he said while maintaining his sharp eyes on me.

“Since when you had these thoughts on that little brain of yours? Instead of using it on useless things, apply this effort and worry about your unfinished weekly report instead. You thought I haven’t noticed how distracted you were ?“ Victor said.

“ relax dummy , Lili is just an older sister to me. She asked if i can company her since her husband on business trip outside china. Lili is busy in work but also dealing with three kids at the same time. I was just helping her manage the deal she had with SJ company , you don’t have to worry that little head of yours on such matters “ victor added.

“ Duckie, i searched for you, and luckily after 10017 years i was able to meet you again. The little head of yours could never imagine how bad I wanted to see that silly smile of yours again. I waited for so long , and you better make it up to me. In other words , Be mine” victor said , while holding my left cheek and went for another breathless kiss ..

“ i —-love —-you——-, Dummy “ he said between his kisses ..

“ don’t close your eyes, look at me when iam talking to you. You know that i love when you’re bold with me, right?” he said smiling at me then slightly biting my lower lip ..

“I was so happy when i met you, in the end of the banquet . I thought you went with her“ i said while having a big silly smile on my face

“ There is only one thing you should be happy about……. It has always been you and only you” he said while looking at my eyes and holding my hot blushing cheeks in his big hand .

After making out sessions for straight two hours , he lay me down on the bed pulling the quilt over my body.

“ go to sleep, and NEVER think about theses useless matters . if you want to ask me something Just ask me directly ... Goodnight dummy” he said ..

“Good night” i replied softly

He smiled then give me a final forehead kiss and went outside the room after dimming the lights ..

In the next day i went to LFG to submit my weekly report , suddenly i received a call from Kiki

“ boss, i made a surprise for you!! you are going to thank me for it . Don’t overthink about it, and just enjoy the surprise” she said while giggling in mischievous manner.

She closed the call, i was nervous and curious at the same time but I didn’t pay much attention on that because I didn’t have much time left, i have weekly report to submit! . I hurried to victors office and luckily I arrived on time but I found my secret love letters has been opened on victors office already and he had one of them on his hand , taking his time reading it while drinking his coffee ..

he noticed me standing near the door , surprised and embarrassed . Victor smirked in anticipation

“ You have a lot of explainings to do , Producer Duckie “ he said while giving me smirky face

what a Great start to my day.

The End

Thank you for reading, see you next time!

[gureishi]

Submission from @thedanderewearingmegane

I just imagined how would yoosung react to his After Ending self. I wrote it to comfort myself and probably others too because a lot of us are on the same boat. I can't write fanfictions actually so this is a very rough write up. I was also inspired by some tik tok/ IG reels videos where people were talking to their younger self, and I cant make videos either so I made this. Not gonna lie, I actually cried writing this.

Him:- WOAH *eyes widen* you...you are wearing a white coat, so...so....so...th...this means *stares at his older self with his infinitely widening eyes and his mouth agape*

AE:- * smiles softly and pats his head* yess my lad, you DO become a successful vet you know. To add more, you finish your studies earlier than your peers, and get your own clinic at 25!

They both wordlessly stare at each other for a while, the younger one, out of shock and disbelief that he really has so much of potential in him, and the possibility that he would perhaps someday, be free from living like a zombie, trying to somehow get through the day makes him tear up, the older one watches his younger self, still having the gentle smile on his face. He too can feel his tears welling up, albeit, not as much as the other guy.

Him:- *is awestruck, tears welled up in his eyes finally starts to pour out like a waterfall* *covers his face and lets out a sob*

The older one holds his other self and gets him sit on a nearby chair while he himself sits on his knees and rubs circles on his other self's back who now was sobbing quite loudly

AE:- ah, there there, you really did forget how much of potential you do hold, remember *lifts up his face* if you really were not good at anything you would'nt be studying at SKY in the first place. I know how miserable you are at this moment, i know how hard it is to even do things for your basic self care, i know sometimes you even don't feel like waking up. Its valid to feel depressed by your loved one's loss after all you're just a human. But yeah, it might seem very annoyingly pretentious to hear "everything gets better" right now, but...I'm here to assure you that it does. I AM THE PROOF.

The younger man wipes his tears, his eyes still looked red from all that crying

Him:- t..thank you....

The younger guy notices that one of the other man's eye looks cloudy, unfocused and does not look quite well, he looks at his older self with a curious face, having a hint of worry

Him:- w..wait... what...what happen to your eye

The older guy's gentle smile now turns into a chuckle

AE:- ahh that, yeah...you do go blind in one eye because of a certain incident, but...but *smiles widely at the other guy* you actually wont mind it, infact you are actually gonna feel very proud of it.

This answer makes the 20 year old guy more confused, he for a while thought, "who on earth would be proud of this ?? and why??"

Him:- proud...of it??

AE:- YES! Its because *pointing at the non functioning eye* you got this while you tried to protect a loved one, its the symbol of your selfless love for the people you care for.

Him:- So...so

AE:- Yes! You do get someone you really love more than yourself and they too love you as well.

The veterinian in his mid to late twenties now places his hands on the boy's shoulders, making an eye contact with him, his eyes look passionate, yet there was not an ounce of harshness, just pure joy. He now lets out a small trickle of tear

AE:- just want to thank you for staying so strong despite all of this, thank you very much for making an effort to stay positive despite everything seemed hopeless. You are loved

--

Rori, I love that you did this.

There's something so poignant about the idea of speaking to your past or future self. I feel very soothed reading this, because I can imagine younger Yoosung's relief and admiration when he sees who he becomes. And I can picture the delight of older Yoosung, who's come so far, and who's relieved and proud to be able to offer his younger self the reassurance he so desperately needed.

You never know where you're going, but it's nice to imagine your future self looking back and wanting to give you a hug.

Because adult Yoosung is brave and strong—and younger Yoosung is, too. He's on his way there.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Life After Snowpiercer: Just Get Back Home

Summary- 5.9k Curtis Everett x You. The group departs to collect Matt and the others that didnt join the tail end survivors. You are having a hard time letting them leave, but this time you don’t protest. Yona has a warning for Curtis. 

Warnings- Violence. 

A/N- we are getting to the end of this particular story for Curtis and Y/N. Its a shorter chapter, as I have been kind of distracted, so some of the writing is probably scattered sounding. But i’m not messing around with it anymore. 

Chapter 13 / Masterlist 

     It was quiet outside. Almost too quiet, sometimes it made Curtis feel anxious not hearing Snowpiercer anymore. 17 years of it, he had grown accustomed to some things. But in the time since the crash, he's learned to adapt. He’s watched the group go from starving hopeless individuals to functioning members to a community, seen the possibility to an actual life, maybe one day seeing you with a son or daughter peeking around your leg to run to him. A man can dream right, he thought to himself as his head tilted back to look up at the night sky. The dazzling of stars was unlike anything he had seen before. Even when he was free, running around Boston growing up. The city lights always dimmed them till you could only see them with a telescope. Something he did get to do when he went to the science museum. The long ago thoughts of his childhood happened to make him smile a bit, forgetting what he was going to have to do. 

That thought came back though, having to hunt down Matt and the other rogues that still believed in Wilford. They couldn't stop this time, turn back and return. It was time to end this once and for all, which Curtis planned on doing. He would bring back the survivors if there were any and let the victims make a choice. It was the least he could do for letting them get past him to the tail end. Tiredness settled on his shoulders, honestly Curtis wanted this to be over. All he wanted was to live a simple life, a life where he worked hard during the day and let him love you rest of the night. 

He knew he should be in bed, not sitting on the roof of the train in the snow. You were just below him, curled up in the bed, probably clutching a pillow to your chest like you did when left to sleep alone. The trek was going to take all his energy as well as the others coming with him. At this moment everyone is safe, it's been a mantra in his mind since he returned earlier. But still his mind won't let him rest, wont settle down enough to let him rest for tomorrow. 

A crunch in the snow made him look over his shoulder to see you climbing off the ladder, pulling one of the coats they found while sorting the carrs around you tighter like it could keep out the penetrating freeze. “I would have been down in a few Babygirl.” Curtis said as you lowered next to him, letting your legs dangle over the edge of the train. His arm went around your to pull you into his side, and you smiled up at him. 

“Maybe I wanted to see the stars as well Handsome.” Your head went to lay on his shoulder and he relaxed, feeling you against him. The warmth of your thigh pressing alongside his seeped into him, and your hands clasped in your lap, you looking up at the same stars. 

“Hard to believe I used to look at these stars at my aunties house. I never thought I would see them again.” Curtis watched your lips curl up in a smile, the small moment of your happiness pushing back those thoughts plaguing him. 

“They are something amazing Babygirl. We didn't have stars in Boston. Nothing like this.” He turned his gaze back to what you were looking at and your hand stretched to his thigh, your palm up. Curtis let his hand slide into yours and your fingers grasped through his. He could feel you were worried as well, but remaining quiet about it. 

“I don’t know why, but that makes me sad Curtis. A childhood without them? How did you make any wishes…” You drifted off and he chuckled softly, kissing your temple to ease you, touched that you had even thought of that. 

“Then we will change that right now Babygirl.” He tightened his arm around your waist and pulled you onto his lap, wrapping his arms around you and letting you lean back against his chest. His chin rested on your shoulder, while gazing up. “You make a wish on half of them, I will do the other. That many stars at once, they are bound to come true Babygirl.

You let your hands rest over his that were folded over your midsection and closed your eyes to think of a wish, Curtis hummed Ooh Laa softly in your ear when you made it, tilting your head a bit. “Finished Curtis.” 

“Alright, my turn… I wish-” You shook your head and reached over your shoulder to press your hand to his mouth. 

“You’re not allowed to say it out loud Curtis. Those are against the rules.” You teased and he pulled his head away from your mouth. 

“New world Babygirl, I’m making new rules.” He kissed your fingertips and tilted to kiss your neck deeply. Looking back up, he took a deep inhale, which you felt his chest press into your back before his warm breath washed over your neck. “I wish that after this, we will have the life we have talked about for years. That is all I want in my life.” 

Your hold on his hand tightened hearing him, and smiled to yourself because how close it was to yours. Almost exactly the same, you had wished for him to return to you safe so that you two could have the rest of your lives in peace. Tilting your head to look over your shoulder at him, you pressed a kiss to his lips, and letting the tip of your nose slide along the side of his. 

“The dream Handsome.” you said and he nodded softly, pressing cold lips back to yours, soft puffs of warm air escaping you both. 

“Come on Babygirl, let's go back to bed.” Curtis could see the bit of frost in your eyelashes and the ruddiness in your cheeks. You nodded and shifted back off, moving to a stand. He followed after you and together went back to the warmth of your shared room. Undressing again that night, first you crawled into the bed, and Curtis followed, wrapping you into his arms and tucking his face in your hair to help him relax, finally drifting off after he felt you sink into him, completely relaxed and trusting in his hold. 

     The next morning was a bit hectic, You were with Yona trying to find enough gear for the people tracking the hostiles. Curtis was with John in the car designated for weapons, trying to figure out how much ammo might be needed, not wanting to leave those they left behind unarmed. There was only so much they were able to locate, and were sure that they all had collected as much as they could from the cars in the back. Granted they wouldn’t have found a lot, but Curtis wasn’t ready to be surprised by an attack from them. 

“You and Johanna take the assault rifles.” Curtis insisted while John reached to pick up a long looking gun, wicked and lethal, plus plenty of ammo for the both of them. Curtis for himself took a submachine weapon, shorter, but lethal all the same. Dispersing a few more, the main weapon of choice was the lethal ax’s that were collected. Black handled with steel blades that had only met flesh a few times, the sharpness had yet to dull. Curtis’s hefted one, feeling the familiar weight from the days of the revolution. Memories of how it felt plunging it into soft flesh and the jerking motion of the person struggling, he closed his eyes willing it away. He didn't want to be a killer, but here he was made into a killer. 

“I think that's everything Curtis. Y/N, Yona and Tam are in the kitchen packing us rations, and were already outfitted.” John said as he fitted the rifle with a strap and let it rest over his shoulder. 

“Go on outside and get everyone ready, I just have one last stop to make.” Curtis instructed and the two men split. John went for the exit outside and Curtis headed for the kitchen. When he stepped in the brightly lit car that smelled extremely good as always. He saw Yona and You packing up a couple of sacks with dried food. Curtis came up behind you, his arms wrapping around your waist while looking over your shoulder. “Just about done Y/N?” he asked, Yona tying off one bag and you sorting through yours before zipping it up. 

“Yea, this should be good for four or five days, I think. Fuck I don’t know, I’m just guessing at all this.” your hands visibly shook a bit and Curtis covered them with his for a moment, letting his thumb brush over your knuckles, whispering in your ear. 

“Breathe baby.” Which you did, took a dragging breath. Yona and Tam both picked up another bag and lifted it up, grunting. 

“This has more of your basic stuff you might need. But it's heavy.” Yona said, and Curtis reached over, fisting his hand in the top and lifted. 

“I can manage it, thanks Ladies. Uh, you mind giving me a moment here with Y/N?” 

The women nodded and retreated out of the kitchen, leaving just the two of you alone. Curtis turned his attention to you, and eased you to face him. 

“Talk to me Babygirl.” He encouraged, lifting a hand to brush along your cheek and into your hair. 

You took a shuddering breath, and shook your head. “It's nothing, nerves. Fuck, I’m scared Curtis, and I really don’t want you to go again. But I know you have to, this has to end once and for all. We cant live with the idea we might be attacked any moment.” All that assurances you felt the night before, now it seemed to have dissipated, your fears brimming at the surface. 

Fuck this was worst then before when he had to make you stay, this time you were letting him go, scared as you were. His lips thinned a bit to hold back his own sadness a moment. This was the last time, he swore it. 

His hands lifted to cup your face and he dropped his forehead to yours. “Babygirl, I will be back and this will be done. I'm coming home to you. Do you understand me? It's not going to be like last time. This time we are equipped. You trust me right?” 

“Of course I do Curtis, but none of us know what's out there. I just… Just come home in one piece. That’s a demand.” You said, twisting your fingers into his jacket and then slipping inside, pressing your palms against his chest while looking up at him. You could feel him under his sweaters, the rise and fall of his chest, the faint thump of his heart. 

He dropped his lips to cover yours and your hands fisted in his sweater as you opened to him, pulling yourself in closer because it was going to be some time before you had him back, and you needed to make sure these moments were committed to memory. When it ended, his forehead leaned against yours and he lifted to kiss your forehead. “I will Babygirl.” 

Curtis shouldered the bag that was packed, and you both left the train to meet up with the rest of the group waiting just outside of the train's entrance. Others were saying their final goodbyes, and while you watched the others, it really hit you how close everyone has become during this time. Your gaze fell on Edgar, who was hugging Yona quickly before letting go, nodding at whatever she was whispering in his ear and embracing him one last time before splitting away to the others. 

“I will be right back Curtis.” You say softly and split from his side to approach Edgar who was working on pulling on a pair of mismatched gloves and retying his bag. “Edgar…” You said and he looked up at you for a second before straightening to be level with you. “I just wanted to tell you to be safe out there.” 

You can see his throat bob as he swallows, his eyes darting from you to Curtis who was discussing something, his own gaze once in a while seeking where you were before going back to whom he was talking to. “I plan on it Y/N.” he said when his eyes dropped back to your face and you shuffled a bit, still unsure of what he would tolerate from you. You knew Edgar still felt betrayed from the past few days. 

“Please, because I don't know what I would do without you.” You admitted. “Regardless of what's happened in the past, it doesn't change that your like a brother to me, and I don't want to lose another.” Your voice broke and that's when Edgar relented, folding you into his arms.

“Enough of that. I gotta do this. It was my fault he escaped to begin with.” He started and you squeezed him back in a hug before pulling back. 

“I don't care how or who is the reason he escaped. Just watch out for each other. Okay? That's all I ask, remember that you and Curtis were once brothers.” You pleaded with him. “For me, please.” 

You could see the conflict cross his face, and then resolve, giving you a nod, assuring you that he would. One last embrace and you left Edgar in peace to finish prepping, going back to Curtis’s side. 

His head dropped, pressing his lips to your temple. “Is everything good Babygirl?” He asked concerned but you pressed into him. 

“Yes, just telling him to make sure he comes home as well.” You respond and Curtis rubs his hand along your back glancing at Edgar. He hated the rift between them, but wanted to respect Edgar and not force himself in his presence. 

Yona and Tam approached, dragging Curtis from his inner thoughts as the two women paused before the two of you. They both gave Curtis a hug and their well wishes, you tagged along behind him, smiling reassuringly at those that seemed nervous for the parting group. Timmy broke away from the kids and tugged on Curtis’s jacket, which he squatted down to be face to face with the boy. 

“Do you have to go Curtis?” He rubbed at his cheek, and Curtis gave a nod. 

“Yes Timmy, I'm afraid so. Matt wont be able to hurt us anymore.” 

Timmy was quiet, picking at his coat for a few seconds. “He was a bad man, he hurt me. And you, Yona  when the train crashed.” 

Curtis nodded, a bit surprised Timmy remembered any of it really, since he was so out of it back then, hardly recognizing any of them when he was pulled out of the train's engine. “Yea he did, he hurt a lot of people, but he wont anymore. I won't let that happen, okay? That's why we are leaving today. But we will be back soon. Come on…” Curtis held out an arm to him, and Timmy pulled in close, hugging around Curtis’s neck and pressing his little body against him in a hug. Your hand dropped to Timmy's back when Curtis stood up, he slid the boy from his hold into your’s which he easily switched to clinging to you, your arm embracing underneath him, and rubbing his back. 

“It will be okay Kiddo.” You whisper to him and readjust him to your hip, both of you looking up at Curtis. “Stay safe, come home to us soon.” You said to him, which he nodded. You could see the way he swallowed he was trying to control himself, and you gave a reassuring smile for the both of you. 

Of course you would try to make it better. Curtis thought to himself when he saw your face set with a soft smile, and your eyes blink any tears away rapidly. Timmy had his head laid on your shoulder, and how badly Curtis wanted to stay. How much he just wanted this to be over, have this moment daily without the tension. Cupping your face, he kissed you gently, pouring himself into it. Both your eyes closed as your free hand went to cup his face back, and foreheads pressed together for a few seconds before he made himself pull away. 

“I love you Curtis.” 

“I love you to Babygirl.” He said and turned to Timmy. “Take care of the fort while I’m gone, Okay?” He held up his fist which Timmy nodded and fist bumped him back. 

“Sure thing Curtis. I got it.” The little boy's chest swelled with the new responsibility, and Curtis winked at him. 

“Why I’m leaving you in charge. See you in a couple days.” Curtis had to force himself to walk away from them, and as he started going the trail they had traveled the day before, the others who joined the group dispersed from the group and followed along behind them. Suddenly a yell admitted from the crowd, and Curtis paused to look over his shoulder to see Yona trudging through the snow to reach him. 

“Just get who you need to, then come straight back. Don't go exploring.” Yona’s eyes were wide, and Curtis could see fear in them. He jerked his head forward to lead her away and turned to talk to her quietly, out of earshot of the others. 

“What do you mean Yona?” he asked, eyes searching hers for something she knew. Curtis knew she had a talent that not many knew. She had helped him get to Wilford, as well as find You after the train crashed. 

Yona shook her head. “Nothing more than a feeling Curtis. But it's bad. Whatever is waiting for you guys there is beyond Matt and the rest. But I can't see it. Whatever it is… they want Matt gone to. Just take him and go. Or else it won't end well.” Yona said in all seriousness and Curtis rubbed at his mouth, baring his teeth in thought. 

“Get them and get out?” He asked to reaffirm, and Yona nodded. “Then that's all we will do. We won't have a chance to scavenge for anything anyways once we gather up whoever's left.” 

Once satisfied that Curtis understood the warning, she parted back to the train, and Curtis continued on. It was slow going to get back to the car the group had departed from. John was at Curtis’s side, inspecting the remaining footprints and nodded. 

“They are scattered all over, but a group definitely headed that way. That's where we should go.” Curtis dug out the map they had collected from Wilford's car, and stretched it along his thigh, the two men checking where they would be headed. John's finger slid along the map, trying to calculate it. 

“Five miles, estimating where we are. Here's the cliff half the train went over, and the amount of cars left up top. I'm sure they have explored a bit further than we have since there wouldn't have been much food back here. This is our best bet.” John reasoned, and Curtis had to agree. They really should have explored more but with cleaning up and setting the train into a livable place, there just wasn't the time. 

“Alright, we can probably get halfway there before it gets to be nightfall. If we are not exhausted, we can keep going. But I'm suspecting we will be setting up some kind of camp just outside of their range.” Folding the map, he stuck it back in the sack he had set down, and re-shouldered it. The remaining people started to re-shoulder their own bags, and grab their weapons they brought. Squinting out over the white landscape, this time John took the lead, following the tracks left behind. 

You watched with Timmy the small group disappear over a snowy mound, and turned your attention to Yona who was slowly making her way back to the train. You set Timmy down off your hip. “How about you go inside and warm up? I will be giving you guys some lessons today.” Which the little boy nodded rather excited now, and sped inside to let the others know you would be doing a class with them. You turned your attention back to Yona, worrying your lip. “Is everything okay?” Your other fear besides Curtis coming across issues was something very physical happening between him and Edward. 

Yona gave a nod, wrapping an arm around your waist in a friendly way while you two went inside. “It will be all good, nothing will happen between Curtis and Edgar.” You couldn't hold back the breath of relief that escaped you in that sense. You felt there was more, as Yona went silent and you stopped her as you two were heading towards the kids area. 

“Is there more? What are you not telling me Yona?” You whispered a bit harshly, not wanting to alarm any of the others, but you couldn't help the fear that gripped your heart in that moment. Yona shrugged from your hold and shook her head. 

“No, Curtis will be back soon. Come on, you promised a lesson today. They are waiting.” She pulled away, shedding some of her clothes to toss into her nearby room before you could stop her again. Unease settled like a rock in your stomach, churning at your nerves. Curtis promised he would come home. That is what you would hang onto. 

The later it got, the more anxious you became. Finally you ended the lesson, and went into the kitchen to help Tam with the rest of the cooking to keep yourself distracted. 

“You are awful quiet child.” She observed as you started plating food for people coming in. Once it was just the two of you, you shrugged a bit and sighed. 

“Worried, fuck I cant get it out of my mind what could happen.” Going over to pluck a tin cup off a shelf and dip it into a giant container of fresh water to sip at. It just made your stomach clench, a wave of nausea sweeping over you. 

“I know, I'm worried too Y/N. We all are Child.” She said while she went to make another plate of food and handed it to you. “Go eat because you are no good to any of us if your passing out and I know this is the first thing you have had today. All we can do is trust and pray.” You wrinkled your nose, you had given up praying years ago.  

Once you settled down next to Yona and started picking at the food before you, Yona watched you push it around in the bowel. You finally gave up, your stomach having tied itself in knots to be able to eat, and she moved over closer, peeking in your bowel. 

“You barely ate anything.” She said with an arched brow. You hugged around your knees in a way of protection. 

“Just not hungry, I'm too worried, and what if it all goes wrong Yona? Maybe I should have said something more. I mean what can they possibly find out there? Fuck I just feel helpless. I think this is worst then when they did the rebellion. This time I just let him do off without trying to go with him.” You voiced your fears, and her gaze softened a bit. 

“What could you do Y/N? He would be too worried about you and needs to focus. Curtis would want you to take care of yourself.” she encouraged and you reached in your bowel and picked up a piece of beef Tam had cooked that night, popping it in your mouth. But it felt huge, a ball rolling around your mouth as you made the attempt to chew and swallow. “They will be okay, I know these things. When they come back, they will have whoever is left and we will be rid of those threats.” 

You swallowed hearing this, the meat now a lead ball in your stomach. “And afterwards?” you asked, almost hopeful, in which Yona shrugged. 

“I have feelings, but I can’t read the future Y/N. To unpredictable. We will always be dealing with some hardships.” 

You knew she was right, but that part that was desperate for anything good would have taken a lie just then. “I'm going to bed, I'm exhausted.” Was the next words to fall from you as you pushed your way to a stand. Taking care of your dish, you made your way back through the train. Making a quick check on the kids, you bid them all goodnight before going to your room. It seemed so much bigger all alone when you stepped in, flicking on the lights and started to shed off clothing, folding it as you set your outer winter gear to place on the end of the bed. Moving to sit on the edge of the bed, you glanced at the window, searching the darkened landscape wondering where the group was now. When you narrowed your eyes and squinted, you swore you could just barely see something orange in the distance. Pressing your fingers to your lips to place a kiss there, you reached to touch the glass, the cold from it making you shiver. 

You gotta trust Yona Babygirl. You had to smile to yourself hearing that familiar voice, and your head dropped to let it wash over you. 

I do… my mind is just running away from me Curtis. Maybe a bit of guilt in not going with you? Fuck if I know, its just different this time. You push to stand and turn the light off. Pulling down the blankets and fold your arms around his pillow to press your face into it, trying to find some rest.

You swore in your mind you felt a dip in the bed, and your hand pressed against your stomach where his would normally, letting your imagination continue. 

Just think Babygirl, after this we can think about a future, our future. 

You think we really have one? 

Of course I do, we wouldn’t have fought so hard if we didn’t have a future worth living in. 

And what do you picture for our future Curtis? You wriggled further into the bedding, letting the heat start to make your eyes close, and you could hear Curtis last words in your mind reminding you. 

Everything we ever talked about in the tail end Babygirl, all those things we only said in whispers. Home, a family.    

     The group was quick to arrive at the city. The ice covered buildings loomed up suddenly in the landscape out of nowhere and they milled just outside of it, not wanting to give away that they were there. John, Curtis and Edgar approached closer, using a snowbank to hide behind while they used the scopes on the rifles to scan for any sign of movement. It wasn't long till they saw a lone figure come from around a building and slip inside. “There… the old grocery store. Probably the most food they have had in a month.” John said as he slipped back down between the two men and Curtis clenched his jaw, debating on when to surprise them. Curtis turned to look at Edgar. “Think now or in the morning?” 

Edgar took a moment to register what Curtis was asking him, surprised but he stifled his previous anger and contemplated seriously. “Tonight, it will be easier to approach the building in the dark. Give everyone a rest. Then… go in.” 

John stayed silent while Curtis nodded in agreement to the man he always considered brother, regardless of all that had happened between them. “We’re made from the dark.” he glanced at the group squatting together yards away, most of them tailenders. People used to living in the cold and darkness, who knew what it took to survive. Pushing up to a stand, he held his hand out to Edgar. 

Edgar seemed hesitant to grasp it, eyes darting from Curtis’s outstretched hand and up to his face. Curtis knew Edgar still was angry at him, perhaps even hated him. But when the younger man clasped his hand and let him help him up. It gave him some hope in repairing their lost connection. “Listen Curtis…” Edgar started as John removed himself, heading back to the rest. Edgar looked down at the snow, taking a shuddering breath, his hands clenching at his sides. “I don't know if I can ever forgive you for my mom, not really. I’ve fucking tried, Y/N even explained what was going on.” 

Curtis nodded, fully understanding how Edgar was feeling. “I don’t expect you to Edgar, I can’t forgive myself for what happened, I can’t expect the same from you.” 

“Just shut up Curtis.” Edgar snapped. “I don’t forgive you, but I probably would have done the same to someone else. So I understand. Maybe in time it will be different. But anyways, let's take care of business alright? I will have your six, like always.” Edgar shrugged and brushed past Curtis, re-approaching the group. Even though they were not fixed, Curtis couldn't help the relief he felt in knowing Edgar would have his back. 

They crossed the snowy terrain almost in silence. Most of their gear was left behind and nothing more than the soft crunch of snow under boots gave them away. Curtis approached first, his hand reaching out to ease the door open. Inside was silent, mostly. Towards the back were muffled voices and Johanna eased inside past Curtis to scan the room with the best of her abilities. 

With her training, Curtis let her go ahead, following along behind her. The rest of the group spread among the aisles, all of them stalking down in the darkness. A soft glow could be seen from the back, and the closer they approached, the louder the voices got. 

“Where did they come from? They couldn't have survived the freeze.” 

“Apparently some did. Easy Mate, Jesus don't need to finish ripping my arm off.”  

“What are we going to do?” 

Curtis hovered near an empty shelf, just out of sight, listening when he heard Matt’s voice, clear as a bell. “Fuck I thought you men were trained to deal with people? No wonder Curtis took over Snowpiercer…” From behind, Curtis felt a tap on his shoulder and he looked over to see Edgar just behind him, mouthing to him. “Are we doing this?” 

A nod to Edgar confirmed the attack, and Edgar waved his hand behind him, giving the command to proceed. 

Once they stepped out and into sight, those that were around the small fire they kept burning scattered into a groceries backroom, ducking out of sight and yelling to run. Just as predicted they didn't have much for ammunition. A few shots rang out at Curtis’s people, but they proceeded to chase them, a few more shots and then colliding bodies that sent them sprawling into shelves as they attacked one another. 

Curtis came out of the darkness like a devil himself, dressed in all black with the snap of his longer coat behind him while dodging around others who were locked in struggles. Edgar had bolted ahead of him, clearly on a mission. It all happened in a split second, but Curtis noticed the flash behind him, the upraised steel rod aiming for Edgar. A flashback of the last time, when Franco’s knife stabbed deep into Edgar's back. This time Curtis did not hesitate, he paused and took aim with the gun he had hanging at his side. Once the broad part of the man's upper back was in his sights, his finger squeezed, steady. It was all over in seconds, the pop sounded among the rest of the chaos and the man lunged forward from the impact, collapsing behind Edgar. He stuttered in confusion, and looked over his shoulder at the body then up to Curtis, giving a nod in thanks then back to scanning the room to find Matt.  

Edgar was quick to spot Matt who was trying to hide between aisles, having witnessed Curtis shoot down his companion. Edgar lunged to where Matt disappeared from sight and was able to  grasp the back of Matt’s shirt to slam him down onto the cement floor, his boot pressed against his throat and leaning down to hiss at him. “Try running again Matt, I wont lose you a second time.” Matt whimpered and held his hand up in surrender and Curtis’s focus shifted to another who was trying to sneak around the fighting, bolt back out into the store and to freedom. 

His strides forward were calm, hiding the rage that had built over time. A rage that simmered from the 17 years of being caged, of how he had to turn into a killer to bring them out of the darkness, how they treated the ones he had left behind, how they used you till you broke for a short period of time. He became more of a predator, hunting his prey, his knuckles turning white around the grip he had on his ax handle. Muscles bunched and burned with effort as he raised the ax and the man flipped around, his eyes wide while he lowered to the ground, sure this was the end. “NO! It wasn’t me, I swear it wasn’t!” 

The ax made a downward swing, landing just at his skull, the blade pressing heavily against it, but not splitting into him. Glancing up, he saw Curtis staring him down like he was nothing more then the shit on the bottom of his shoes. Cold blue fire blazed at him while Curtis snarled out. “You are in no position to claim innocence. Your judges lay back at the train, where this all started.” Letting the ax fall broadside to his shoulder, he hooked it behind his neck and dragged him forward. Hooking his hand around his neck, Curtis yanked his captive to his feet and pulled him close, face to face while the man struggled in his hold. “And if Y/N tells me it was you, I will be carving your heart out.” Giving one last disgusted look, Curtis tossed him forward, making him stumble back towards the rest. “Now MOVE!” His gun raised, and a tremor of relief did pour through him. 

Once his captive stumbled back and the group stripped those left of anything dangerous, Curtis took count. Only seven were left, out of the mass of men that split in the beginning from the group, only a small amount were left. Matt cowered in the group, but Curtis dragged him out. “Where are the rest of them Matt?” 

“What do you think Curtis? Dead, you probably passed them on your way here, buried in the snow.” He spat out, the fight in your brother fading. The others shifted behind him uneasily, but no one rebutted his statement. 

“Get moving…” Curtis pushed Matt back to the rest of the men, and the rest gathered the supplies they had brought. Renewed energy rising in them like the sun coming up, a new dawn and another step to finally ending the last of the threat. Edgar pulled up next to Curtis, also watching them start marching back. 

“Think this will be the end?” Edgar asked while they both started bringing up the rear, each one dragging an ax and gun at their side in case anyone tried to break away from the group. 

“I do… “ Curtis responded, taking in a deep cleansing breath, feeling a heavy weight rise off his shoulders and the sun warm his face.

The group was slow moving, but once they were specs in the distance, a figure moved from another building, and a person moved from out behind a door, lifting a pair of binoculars to there face, counting to themselves quickly and when the glasses lowered, they reached up to readjust a scarf over there face, and duck back inside, securely closing the door behind him.

[iloverubberduckiez-blog]

Partners- Reader x Hybrid!Maknae line

A/N: Don't know if ill write more and make a Lil series or keep this as a drabble

WC: 4k

Warnings:Fluff, possible smut if i continue. 

Rated: PG 13 i guess

After another long day at your shitty desk job as a secretary, you were on your way out when you get stopped by the department head.

“Hey Y/N, I'm glad I caught you!”

You inwardly groaned. All you wanted to do was to go home to your beautiful hybrid who you knew would no doubt whine about you coming home late. 1000 bucks says Mark was here to tell you that you would be delaying that peace a little longer.

“Mark please I am tired and I already worked two hours over today”

“Sorry Y/N. I have to stay too. We are expecting some big shot from the main branch and you and I get to personally oversee all things pertaining to him when he gets here. He’s gearing up to take over HQ as the new CEO”

“Oh my- No way.”

“Yup. Jackson Wang”

“Damn. well, he is super hot so I'm doing it for him, not you. When do we need what?” 

“He doesn't get in till next week so we will have time to prepare. Just letting yo know you can pass on the DRASS project to Amaya.”

“What no way that project is mine, it's literally all I've worked on for months-”

“And I know you were super excited to fly back to Kenya to help those people and see it through. I promise you will get full credit but We need this, trust me Jackson says he wants to pick his personal team from within the company. If we do well enough this will be the push we need and could select us as candidates.- You have a hybrid right? well, I have a family of five, and having extra money in the bank whether it's just a bonus for this or a whole new position will help us both and you know it.”

“okay” You relented with a sigh taking the folder from his hands.

“You should rest up this weekend so that we can meet up a little early next week to go over what needs to get done and how we can prepare for everything.”

“so i can go home now?”

Mark chuckles and nods. “ Run along, give your boy a hug from me” Mark kisses your forehead as has been the norm and walks away with a small wave towards his own car.

Leaving the office you groan after seeing the traffic. It was going to be a slow crawl in the car for like an hour before you make it back home.

“Y/N!” You didn't even unlock the door before you were bombarded with the full weight of the handsome hybrid you share a home with.

“Where were you? I was waiting for you for so long. I got us dinner but its all cold now” His voice a little muffled as he spoke into your hair.

“oh what did you eat?”

Taehyungs tummy growled.

 “I didn't. I wanted us to eat together because i got Lasagne, your favourite.” His tail which was wrapped around you as he had hugged you fell to the floor in sadness.

“I’m so sorry Tae.” You looked up to find his ears flattened on his head as his arms drop from your shorter frame. 

Taehyung’s eyes meet yours as he feels how your guilt seems to seep through and he gives you his beautiful signature boxy smile before picking you up and carrying you into your apartment.

“It’s okay Y/N we can reheat it.”

You kiss him on the check and go into your room to change into something comfortable before joining Tae back in the kitchen and sitting on one of the stools.

“Wine M’lady.” Taehyung poured two glasses and reached for your hand leading you to the couch.

“c’mon it will take a while to heat nicely in the oven.”

You nodded and followed him hi sat first then pat his lap. You looked at him questioningly.

“First my favourite meal and then expensive wine? It's not my birthday Tae.By the way this wine is like 1922 grade $400 bucks stuff how in the world did you get some?”

Taehyung chuckled.“I just wanna sit and cuddle with you and have a nice evening together plus you smell like a squirrel.”

You caved and snuggled beside Taehyung instead of on his lap but he just pulled you closer to him nuzzling your hair and drawing little patterns on your arms.

You inwardly facepalmed, of course, Tae’s sensitive nose picks up on all the people from work and apparently most pungently your intern who had sent his Squirrel hybrid to give in some documents to you halfway through a meeting - “I can go take a shower-”

“No don't go please i just missed you a lot today is all.”

“ You sure? Nothing else? Nothing bothering you?”

“Nothing at all.”

It was not nothing.

Taehyung had spent the better part of the morning crying his eyes out after overhearing your conversation to Seokjin. He didn't mean to eavesdrop, in fact, he was going to come and give you a hug good morning but what he heard made him stop dead in his tracks. 

“He’s a beautiful Calico cat Y/N, i think that it could be a good match for you. You did say you had always wanted a cat right? well this is your chance and he will dote on you hand and foot- you work too much honestly when do you take time to read and breathe?”

Tae robotically walked away tail tucked in between his legs and retreated to the bathroom He didn't bother with the rest of the conversation he was just numb. He turned on the shower but made no other moves towards actually showering. All he could think of was that maybe you were trying to replace him, that he wasn't enough for you or maybe that he was just too much and you didn't love him anymore. He heard you knock on the door announcing your departure for work but he couldn't bring himself to respond. After crying for what felt like hours Tae looked at his phone. You had sent a message.

“Tae,

Had to leave early,U might not have heard me in the shower.Take care. Y/N”

Taehyung felt morose. No “I love you” or cute emoji. He sighed and went to your room. Laying on your bed he snuggled up to one of your pillows and managed to fall asleep. It ended up only being a nap as Taehyung woke around an hour later. Eyes still puffy and with a sniffle, he sat up determined and decided to do something special for you.

“Hey Hyung”

“What do you wan- Is Y/N Okay? Did you start a fire again?”

Taehyung deadpanned. “Hyung that was one time!”

“Okay, what's wrong little brother?”

Taehyung whined. he felt the beginnings of tears stirring up again.

“come over. Hoseok has a day off today. Or do you just wanna talk to me?”

“I’ll be right there”

Yoongi sighed rubbing his fingers over his temples. Hoseok was currently now consoling his little brother who after regaling his story managed to upset himself and break down into full-blown tears again.

“I knew something was up I *Hic* didn't think she, we would ever be apart” 

Yoongi sat on Taehyungs opposite side and pulled him into a hug after wiping some of his tears.

“It’s just a big misunderstanding okay she is just working really hard she’s not trying to abandon you.”

“Hyung you don't know that. Easy for you to say because you have Hoseok- Hyung.”

“And it's only because of her that I got adopted by him remember? She wanted us both but she didn't have the means to look after both of us so she called all her friends willing to take a hybrid on and then she said that she was sorry she couldn't do more but at least we would be able to see each other. She’s the reason we can still talk, see each other despite being separated, and hang out.”

Hoseok nods, “She got an extra bed in your room too for Yoongi to come to stay over whenever he wanted and she gave him the spare key remember? I don't even have a spare and I've known her longer-”

“she likes us better” Taehyung and Yoongi snapped to Hoseok at the same time.

Hoseok laughed. “well glad to know where I stand. I wouldn't hold it against you if you moved now, she earns enough to support you now...so if-”

Yoongi smiled “You would be hopeless without me and you know it.”

Hoseok scratched behind Yoongi’s ears and with a smile, he began “Well if you want my advice on this-”

“We don’t,” The hybrid brothers said again in unison.

Hoseok rolled his eyes and mumbled about getting something to eat and calling Seokjin to figure out what was going on.

Yoongi’s heart was aching for Taehyung. He wanted nothing more than to see his beautiful smile again.

“Y/N likes Lillies why don't you buy her some and like welcome her with those and some chocolates or something when she gets home?”

Taehyung sighed. “I thought about that but it feels too simple and like something anyone could come up with.” His eyes glazed over to the Tv where a couple was horseriding on a ranch. Immediately Taehyung lit up.

” That's it!”

“Tae we can't buy a horse ranch, even with all three of us chipping in”

“Not the ranch Hyung. Y/N likes this special wine that you can only get at a few places. If I get her a bottle and cook her a fancy dinner she can remember why she only needs me.”

Hoseok came back to the living room.

“oh, I have a bottle from the last time we went to the ranch as a group the chateau right? I was gonna wait for her birthday and surprise her but you can have it Tae,”

Taehyung glomped Hoseok in gratitude.

“cant breathe Tae”

“sorry.”

Yoongi stood up scrolling on his phone. “what did Soekjin say?”

Taehyungs smile dropped and his face morphed into nervous worry. Yoongi placed a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder expecting bad news from the way he reacted.

“He is out of town for the weekend. Some big trip so I could only leave a voicemail. It’s probably nothing. Anyway, you should go on and get dinner ready for Y/N before she gets home right?”

Taehyung brightened a little and skilled nodding. Before he left Yoongi said he should probably order food so he doesn't poison you or set the place on fire. He left feeling optimistic and hopeful that he could mend things with you. He wanted to help take better care of you he promised himself.

You woke up to the smell of burnt pancakes and Hot chocolate. Following the scent, you found Tae in the kitchen attentively staring at the pancake until a small ding went off on his phone. Shutting off the timer he placed a layer of batter where the last pancake just lay and set the timer again. You watched him fondly before he plated this one and poured honey over it. Putting the plate on a tray with the precut fruits and hot chocolate his ears went up as he sniffed the air. Turning around he saw you in the doorframe.

“Y/N...i-i made breakfast” He hastily grabbed your hand and led you back to you room tucking you in, before rushing out and bringing the tray with him.

Your heart swelled at this blessing of a man in front of you and he watched with rapt attention as you cut off a piece of the pancake before placing it in your mouth.

“How is it?” His ears sagged over his head expecting rejection.

“I can make you an omelet instead if you-”

“Taehyung it's the best pancake I’ve ever eaten.”

He buried his face in your pillow at your praise, tail wagging happily. You offered him a strawberry and a piece of the pancake and he hummed happily.

After sharing breakfast together you spent the day spring cleaning together before spending the rest of the day on a movie marathon. On Sunday You were both invited to game night at Hoseoks and You and Tae were a dynamite team as usual with Yoongi coming in to troll Hoseok much to his displeasure.

“I look forward to working with you further Mr wang.” you held out your hand. Jackson laughed and gave you a hug instead. 

“No way just call me Jackson. I’ve been friends with Mark forever so any friend of his is a friend of mine, also you come at a right recommendation, which is surprising cos he can be a bit of a downer.”

“I’m right here you know!” 

“I’m so grateful for you for doing this at such last minute. i know it was a lot to organise in the given time frame Y/N.” 

“Not at all, Mr wa- Jackson.”

You all stayed in his office with some comfortable banter before going home.

Taehyung called over to you and began to advance happily towards you before he stopped and sniffed you strangely. You wanted to ask him what the problem was but your phone chimed. it was Soekjin- he was calling you. You declined the call because you remembered you needed to tell Tae what was going on so that you could get his opinion on things.

“It might be urgent, if he keeps calling you like that. Go see what your human friend wants.”

“Do you not like Jin? Since when? Tae what’s-”

“You’ve been talking a lot to whoever lately and you smell like a new scent and a hybrid and I feel tired so I’ll probably just go hang out at Hyung’s.”

“No wait Taehyung I’m not trying to have secrets or hide anything from you but there is something important I need to tell you.”

Taehyung huffed and went to go sit down as you took his hands in yours. He looked like how you found him 2 years ago a wounded puppy with eyes full of love and brimming with sadness.

“Things are a bit crazy at the shelter and Jin needs help in housing some of the Hybrids temporarily. Some can go to other shelters but some need a more... loving environment, calmer without the more violent hybrids sharing with the weaker type ones. I offered to take two of them in while he figures everything out. I know its a lot and if you don't want to, we will just stay just us but if Jin is overcrowded he’s at risk of getting shut down and then they could all end up on the streets I-”

“It's okay.”

You blinked. “Huh?”

“It's just temporary, right? I can understand that we shouldn't let anyone be on the streets if we can help.”

“really? you’re fine with this?”

“It’s...I will be able to deal with it. But I want strawberry cake and I’m not sharing”

“Of course Tae. Guess I should call Jin and tell him the great news!” You chirped and went to grab your phone. You didn't notice the sheer rejection that he tried to hold in.

Jungkook and Jimin stood behind Jin. The latter holding Jin’s shirt as he explained some of the pills he had brought along for their nutrition and bringing along some bags with groceries. You reached to take it and Jungkook took them all in your stead silently trying to minimize eye contact with you.

“Thank you Jungkookie.”

Embarrased, Jungkook stuttered out. “I-Its the least I can do after you are being so kind.” You practically melted and pet the Muscle bunny softly at the base of his ears and he stomped his foot a little and grinned showing his toothy smile.

Jimin, not to be outdone, said he could help you pack everything away and let go of Jin who was trying to remain them of something that they were tuning out in their silent contest to impress you. You tried to place a jar on a shelf too high and fell back into JK who caught you and placed it up for you instead. Jimin began whining that he could have done it for you but he was busy with the things in the fridge.

Taehyungs loud sneeze broke up the rowdy lot of you.

Jungkook gripped your waist in fear and stayed behind you as you faced Taehyung. Jimin in shock had hit his head on the shelf of the fridge and tried to catch some of the items that threatened to spill out.

Tehyung seeing Jungkook’s hand on your waist had yanked you out of his grasp and began scenting you and sending a snarl their way.

You sighed. This was how Taehyungs been acting ever since you started the project with Jackson. Pretty much anything could set him off but you felt bad because you should have been more understanding of how this may look in his eyes.

“ Jin, Rabbit, feline”

“Tae, Longtime! Sorry if we woke you. this is Jungkook he's a black Holland Lop and Jimin is a calico cat.”

“I’m Y/N’s Siberian husky.” Tae said to the other two before looking back to Jin.

“ I was awake- Hyung i was finishing the laundry for the new...guests.”

You spun around in his arms to face him. Petting his ears as he cooed into your touch “Aww Tae I told you I’d manage it”

Jin’s ringtone killed the silence and he dashed out telling you to call if any problems arose.

Thereafter you got the boys settled into Taehyung’s room. With a sigh you went and faceplanted into your sheets only to have Taehyung come and crawl beside you. After half an hour when you tried to get up Taehyung just grumbled and  held you tighter.”

“Tae i have to go to”

“work I know” He said with a sigh reluctantly letting you go. 

“Today’s a chilled day we will be done early. Besides, you guys can use this time to bond and make friends.” At his whine, you kissed the top of his head. “ please? For me, try?” 

Six weeks later all of you have somewhat of a comfortable rythym in the household. On a day off you decided it would be fun to go to the beach. Jimin offered to pack a picnic for everyone and Jungkook and Taehyung were moody on the drive over because they didn't think of it first. You had also told him since he was so helpful he could sit in the passenger seat and Jimin spent the whole ride grinning like the cat who got the cream.

Once there you were happy to let the boys wander off to their heart's content after setting up your belongings under a beach umbrella.

Jungkook had other plans. He worked very hard on his physique and although shy he still remembers the first time he came back shirtless from a run and found you on the couch. You tried to hide it but He knows you checked him out and you were definitely attracted to him the way your eyes hungrily racked over his body. Since that day he would be on the lookout for any golden opportunities to be close to you. Honestly, Taehyung had it made. You were kind, smart, hardworking, and breathtakingly beautiful. So often he dreamt of you as his and he knew the others thought the same. Officially though he was still a foster, Jimin had reminded him that morning and their place here wasn't secured so Jimin said he was gonna up the Ante. At first, Jungkook ignored him and went to shower but when he emerged to the sound of you praising Jimin for coming up with such a cute and thoughtful idea, He knew he needed a plan of his own. 

Taehyung excused himself for the bathroom and Jimin was looking around for the cooler box. He decided to go and check in the car leaving Jungkook alone with you. This was his moment. He stripped himself of his shirt and innocently asked if you would come to the water with him. He rationalized his need for an escort being that he was not used to such big crowds of people and thus managed to convince you out of your sundress to reveal your bikini and guide him by the hand towards the water.

Jungkook was Jungshook at the two-piece and how you looked in it enjoying the view until some guy came out trying to talk to you. That snapped him out of his daze and he flung you over his shoulder and bolted into the water trying to shield your body for his admiration alone. You were having a ball of a time and Jungkook got to stay near you and hold you claiming to save you from sharks if you found any.

Jimin had stomped away to the car and after retrieving the cooler box which he was pretty sure Jungkook was supposed to carry happily bounded to the store to get ice for the drinks on the way back. He also spotted a local artist doing caricatures and thought to remember to bring you over later for a couple picture together. He knew you weren't a couple but Jimin was smitten for you. He was slightly confused as to why Tae didn't have a romantic relationship with you, or at least you weren't his mate so he still had a shot. The only thing in his way now was the little maknae and his cute bunny-like stupid smile and ‘helpful groping’. Jungkook certainly wasn't shy in trying to subtle scent you when you were distracted anymore, not like how it was when they first arrived. No, they had gone from not trying to interfere with your and Tae’s relationship to wanting their own with you, a romantic one. The mystery now was why arent you and Taehyung together? Was it because he was a hybrid or was he just not the right guy? did you reject Taehyung before? Did you get rejected by Taehyung and now he regrets it and wants you back? Jimin didn’t care he wanted you and that was final. Even if you never returned his feelings even just being by your side could be enough for him, enough that he could get over sharing your affection with Taehyung after all he was the first even if he hates to admit it.

Taehyung almost dropped the Icecream cones in his hands.

 Its been so long since you two had come to the beach, in fact, the last time was when Yoongi had hinted at you two being an adorable couple. Taehyung had gotten you ice cream to share and you had some dribble down from your mouth to your chin. Taehyung did it before his brain was able to process the action, he licked a stripe from your chin to your lips lingering for a second before placing a chaste kiss there. You were embarrassed, to say the least, and Tae hid his own embarrassment by getting up to toss a ball back to a bunch of kids playing volleyball. When he came back he noticed you with some of Yoongi’s cocktail and the two of you managed to finish the jug just between the two of you. Later at home Yoongi and Hoseok took to the twin beds in Tae’s room and you pulled him into your room. Tae had discovered you were really handsy and although he wanted you so badly you were both too drunk to do more than sleep after a sloppy makeout session. The next morning you had woken up first and Left some water and ibuprofen with an apple by his side. His morning wood making him panic in short horror prompting a quick cold shower. While he discarded his clothes he saw your underwear that you had slept in still coated in fragments of your arousal, on top of the laundry hamper and grabbed it as he stepped in the shower. It was the first time he had taken your underwear.

Yoongi had told him then to let you bring it up- the idea of you guys figuring out what you want moving forward as it was clear to him and Hoseok that you two were lusting after one another but was it anything more? Taehyung was in the midst of figuring out his feelings for you and what everything meant and how things were going to be different but you came in the apartment with breakfast goodies in tow. You managed to still look effortlessly beautiful in the morning and Tae was so happy that you got him his favourite things for breakfast from your waffle house.

“Tae, I’m so sorry about yesterday i was super drunk”

“I was drunk too Y/N its fi-”

“No it’s I'm sorry can we just forget this all happened i don't want to loose you Tae I love you. Can we move on please?”

Taehyungs heart shattered across the floor but he nodded and to put insult to injury you kissed his cheek before scolding Hobi for drinking The hot chocolate you meant for Taehyung and yourself.

“I’m sorry lil bro. If you wanna stay with us we can share my room, i have a double bed and Hobi can-”

“Its okay Yoongi- Hyung. I can keep it together for now, ill give it some time and if that doesn't work I’ll confess and we work from there. For now, her loving me is enough, even if its just friends. This love and adoration from her is enough.”

It’s Not Fucking Enough. Not anymore. That was then when he had you all to himself, No new boss keeping you at work always hugging you, No Bunny, no Cat. No it was war now, and Tae has just about reached his limit.

[gayregis]

blood and wine rewrite au basic layout

i already posted something like this before but i cant find the post so im just rewriting all of this from the top of my head

everyone’s repurposed roles:

geralt - he’s still a witcher. he’s geralt of rivia. obviously. i don’t have time or interest to think about how to rewrite the entire witcher 3 game to be lore-friendly, but i assume there would be less triss and more dandelion involved in it. for this let’s just take him as geralt having done everything in tw3 but with the personality of geralt from the books because geralt from the games doesn’t have much of a strong personality good for writing or thinking about.

regis - a bitch. nah jk. he’s same regis but just what he was like 100 years ago when he got his head cut off. he’s less spiralling-into-doom than he was then, and is less desperate and hopeless overall, but is slowly getting there once again. he doesn’t remember anything about learning from his mistakes and becoming a good person, because this regis didn’t get any of that. to this regis, it’s like no time has passed at all since he died, and he’s ready to start partying again without any thought of the consequences. he’s moved to toussaint because everyone’s already tipsy there and the north is plagued by war so it’s not a really great source to be drinking from (like if there was a sewage leak near the vineyard you sourced your wine from). he doesn’t remember anything about maturing up or about becoming a surgeon or about the hansa, so that sucks.

dettlaff - not a fucking maniac. actually a character geralt will likely spend a good amount of time talking to. total character overhaul because he does not have a personality in the actual DLC. he arrived in toussaint because he had heard that regis had returned and wanted to fix things wih him, he had previously left him.

syanna - not a fucking dumbass, yet still naive in her own way due to being blinded with the promise of power. in this, she is planning to stage a coup on the duchy (because she is the older sister, so it IS her right by law) and she supports regis’ slow dive again into uncontrollable insanity because it helps her prop up rumors that her sister’s reign is ineffective against real threats and is cursed. but this alliance does not go as she planned...

orianna -  in this, she is the owner of a gladiatorial school (instead of an orphanage), and is still like in canon a wealthy and influential individual of beauclair, yet reclusive from human society. she is regis’ best friend and goads him on, because she never fixed her own issues with alcoholism and now is elated to have him back and forgetting that they had disagreements which drove them apart in the first place. they’re best friends (NO romance) and it’s just good to see how insanely different orianna and geralt are because they’ve both been regis’ close friends at different points in time.

the purpose of this:

fix regis’ relationships with the vampires. he slowly drove all of his good friends away by going off the deep end and many are likely wondering whatever happened to him. but books regis would never consider partying like that again, so we bring the party regis back and then slowly de-escalate him into normal books regis again, and we finally get closure with him and his old friends.

cool dramatic stereotypical vampire shit. i’m talking about a final battle or conversation in a giant dark castle with large open windows and billowing drapery.

regis’s hairstyle

give syanna actual agency as a character and give her motivations that extend beyond pure revenge (although they are related to revenge) and make her more unique so she is not just a ripoff of renfri. 

demonstrate anna henrietta and geralt’s relationship as it was in the books. he was genuinely intimidated by her and i interpret him as being jealous of her relationship with dandelion, so he in practice was quite withdrawn around her as she was her overemotional and embellished self

give dettlaff an actual character, holy shit. i hate how sorely underdeveloped he is in the game. i understand why because it’s not meant to be writing, it’s meant to be a video game, but come on. i hate having the vampire with the cool character design be the ultimate villain of the whole narrative. in this, he’s someone geralt can talk to and sees himself in. he’s emotionally mature and doesn’t mix with the other vampires. since we already know what regis is like, we don’t have to sit through dettlaff making excuses for him and trying to describe what his character is like. we also get a better view of regis’ past through dettlaff’s lense. 

give orianna an actual character, holy shit. i hate how they didn’t even try with her and just used her as a “surprise, she is quite evil!” gimmick. have her actually have a larder for blood that is lore-friendly yet still jumps out at the audience as morally wrong.  give her more personality and development.

examine regis’ backstory without actually getting into every single year of those 4 centuries. we can examine how it started good, turned bad, went worse... there’s a lot of loss involved and i think this would be nice to process it.

roughly what happens (under cut because if i ever do write this fic out, this is spoilers, literally the synopsis of the whole thing):

anna henrietta sends envoys to geralt. they establish that the duchess has no conflict with geralt and that her conflict was with dandelion, only. she has requested his help because he effectively dealt with many monsters while he was in beauclair and established a trustworthy reputation (also, he’s famous, and toussaintoirs are superficial). instead of the beast of beauclair killing particular victims, it’s the countryside which has been plagued by vicious attacks of the devil knows what.

geralt arrives and examines the scenes of the attacks. the sincere majority of the victims are alive, so he speaks to them. they remember nothing, but woke up with their village fucking absolutely trashed and with vomit everywhere. they all have wounds on their necks. geralt thinks he knows what’s up, but is reluctant to deal with it because of his memories of regis, who he misses

damien de la tour is assigned to geralt as a sort of backup. they argue and geralt manages to get him to stay put in beauclair while he rides to a village they believe will be attacked next. it’s not even a full moon so the vampires don’t even come out in their bat form (disappointing) but instead just mesmerize their way in in humanoid form. dettlaff sneaks up on geralt who is (ahem) staking out the situation, and is like hey dont kill regis hes not evil hes just misguided!! and geralt is like REGIS? EMIEL REGIS? THTS WHO’S LEADING THEM? i ..... i know him.... and dettlaff’s like what the fuck how... then they get caught and regis is like oh hey dettlaff who’s this guy and geralt feels very left out :( and also sad bc regis doesnt remember shit and geralt even lists the hansa members by name and regis is still like O_O ok yeah im just going to hypnotize you to get lost ok goodbye! but dettlaff prevents him from doing this and they both get thrown out of the party.

after the party geralt is a mess and is like wtf so hes back and what... how... huh... and dettlaff doesnt know how he returned or why he returned either but they compare geralt’s knowledge of how regis died with dettlaff’s knowledge of how regeneration works and they figure out that regis just regenerated from his past body and that’s why he doesn’t have any of his memories from when he turned good.

then they eavesdrop a little more and find out that syanna has been talking to regis and making deals with him (its... not really like she thinks, regis really hasnt been doing anything he doesnt want to. shes just like “hey can you attack this village here” and regis is like yeah i was gonna host a party there tomorrow night ...) so they are like who the fuck is this woman and track her down to her base of operations, and then they find out that THEY got followed by damien de la tour, who identifies her as sylvia anna. geralt is a little miffed on behalf of dandelion that damien seems to be so close to anna henrietta but i digress.

geralt reports his findings to the duchess but does NOT mention regis because the duchess knows who regis is. then we get the same vampire talk from canon b&w where the duchess and damien are sorely misinformed on every single thing ever.

geralt is defeated and has no idea on how to fix this and hes looking hard into a mirror by candlelight and then decides to go to bed so he turns around and regis is right behind him like hey. cue ‘holy shit what the fuck’ moment and freaking out. regis explains himself and says that he doesnt remember him but the fact that he gave so many specifics weirded him out and he kind of wants to know more out of curiosity. also he wants to talk to dettlaff but feels too bad about how he argued with him like 3 centuries ago that he cant just ask him directly.

so they talk and geralt is all :(( and regis is like ok well. i kinda want to get these memories back because they sound pretty significant and also im pretty miserable. but also im not going to stop partying bc its the only thing that makes me feel alive rn. so long!

geralt and dettlaff talk to orianna and she dislikes them both but still talks to them and then regis materializes and also begins bothering them and its quite civil but this scene just serves to demonstrate how annoying they are as friends lol

there’s scenes where you can either save damien / syanna from being unalived by the vampires’ / regis’ hand, only if you let syanna die will the duchess be mad and accuse you of being heartless like dandelion is and then geralt and the duchess actually get into an argument bc of that comment but geralt ofc loses bc hes scared of her lol

no matter what you get regis his memories back but your decisions to either continue helping him or not is what makes him change or not. even after he gets his memories back (or because he gets his memories back?) he decides to raze beauclair bc hes just so fucking miserable and geralt has to talk him down, if you are harsh and not understanding and shame him etc then he doesnt change, if you condemn his actions but still offer your support then he does.

if you offer your support > geralt talks about the hansa like For Ever and regis then adds in everything and yay regis is back to normal. theres like a wholesome montage of geralt being like “just TRY to sew up a wound i promise you you will be good at it” and regis does and hes splendid at it. regis and dettlaff finally make up and are bros once again. we help orianna with her issues and she realizes stuff but is still going to have a drink once in a while. if syanna is alive she doesnt hate on any of this but just decides to make up with the duchess and then become captain of the guard (damien gets fired for being a dumbass).

if you do not offer your support > regis goes to cry in a delapidated creepy old castle and you have an epic fight (geralt is backed up by dettlaff) and he turns into a bat and geralt almost dies, they manage to decapitate regis again and put him in the ground and set a timer for 50 years

if you redeem regis then there’s an ending scene where the duchess is like “oh regis i didnt know you were in town” and hes just like <:) ahaha... yeah...

cue crying about milva/cahir/angouleme For Ever. maybe link this with the fic where geralt and regis bring them all back as ghosts/real ppl and then they have to deal with those consequences

[kommakina]

my take on what makes literature good (this is just a rant i am so sorry)

before anything i would like to state that i have no degree, no expertise, no nothing. i am literally just a high school student so like take what i say lightly dudes, it’s all just a relative opinion anyways. this is just 1k of my opinions and thoughts ig.

i am going to start this off by saying that the best story i have ever read in my life is a 100,000 word bts fanfic. you can dislike their music, them as people, i don’t care, thats your right and your opinion that you’re entitled to. i’m not trying to change that. but the reason i say that is because, lets be honest here, fanfiction? a lot of the time it’s written by 13 year olds who haven’t learned the difference between you’re and your. no shade to those 13 year olds, though. i’ve been there, and i’m no grammatical saint either, but typically, fanfiction as a whole is a bit looked down upon because of this idealism that it’s all just shitty 1k first-person bullshit. contrary to the societal idea of what fanfiction is (because it is shitty a lot of the time), there’s still that golden story every once and awhile. for me, that golden staple was up we go. 

I feel like they, the author, encompassed a lot of feelings that i, myself, was feeling at the time at which i had read it. it described that feeling of being sad but having nothing to be sad about, that feeling of loneliness in a room full of people, hopelessness in a world full of answers. this 100k bts fanfiction put into words emotions that i didn’t even realize other people could have. it helped me to sit and reflect on my own life a little, think of what could make me happy, what could make me grow and flourish. the writing style in of itself was absolutely spectacular in capturing the essence of the story and these feelings, and even with the disregard of the craftsmanship of  the storyline, its foreshadowing, ect. ect., it’s still a beautiful story. yet even still, i find myself hesitant to tell people about my love and appreciation of this story because i’m scared of what they would think when they found out that i think so highly of a story that societally shouldn’t be good in any means. 

that thought process isn’t at all fair to the creators of these stories (btw here’s the link to up we go, fan of bts or not, i still highly recommend it - https://archiveofourown.org/works/12297168/chapters/27954360 ). they poured their hearts out into the creation of these works, and will never get the recognition they so deserve in the world of literature beyond tumblr posts and twitter threads. 

this is just going to move me on into literally the best page turner i’ve ever read didn’t even fucking have pages. it was a 200k fanfic, once again. the songbird and the sea. best fucking plot line and universe creation since tolkienism. i literally read it at every moment i could, even when i reread it for the tenth time, i still can never put it down. it brings the beauty of life and hardships to life in an exciting way- the kind of exciting thats hard to find in a book. it really was a story that held your hand through it’s pages, despite its coding. (odd place to put it but once again here’s the story, bts fan or not, high recommendation - https://archiveofourown.org/works/10795731/chapters/23946774 )

i haven’t been able to find a single printed book that brings me as much joy and emotion as these books, and i’ve read plenty of classics in my time. and then there were none, the odyssey, pride and prejudice, shakespeare sonnets, edgar allan poe, ect. ect.. i’ve read some of the most popular novels in modern history like twilight, harry potter, the fault in our stars, scythe, all of these books- but none of them have ever brought me as much emotion and happiness as two fanfictions i found on ao3. that kind of thinking kinda leads on into - who decided these books were good? what decided they were the grounding for movie franchieses that make more money in a year than yemen and panama’s national incomes combined? 

really my question here is this, and i highly recommend you sit and recollect on this yourself, please add your own thoughts, id love to hear them, but- 

what makes literature good aside from a societal view?

honorable mentions of fanfiction authors that make me happy-

fruitily on ao3 - https://archiveofourown.org/users/fruitily/pseuds/fruitily

their twitter - https://twitter.com/fruitilys

notyoongs on ao3 - https://archiveofourown.org/users/notyoongs/pseuds/notyoongs

their twitter - https://twitter.com/tododucks

arobeebee on ao3 (has a lot of nsfw stuffies on there but also has more wholesome stuff so yeah take that as you will) - https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arobeebee/pseuds/Arobeebee\

her twitter (is a nsfw twitter im sorry i dont know if she has another one this was all i could find) - https://twitter.com/arobeebee

MENTIONED LINKS:

Oh_Hey_Tae on ao3 (up we go) - https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oh_Hey_Tae/pseuds/Oh_Hey_Tae

their twitter - https://twitter.com/oh_hey_tae

maia_archives on ao3 (the songbird and the sea) - https://archiveofourown.org/users/maia_archives/pseuds/maia_archives

i cant find any of their socials im so sorry lol

[westernchords]

2020: a replay & reflection

so... here we are at the near end of a very long, unsettling & strange year. and at this particular moment in time, spotify has released its 2020 wrapped feature, an annual highlight for gay people everywhere (self VERY included). since the world is very large & this is a personal blog with a limited scope, i'll talk about what i know best: the view from my corner of the musical world.

i only had two songs in common with any previous year -- i wish i missed my ex by mahalia & sugar by brockhampton (... i know, the heartache is loud already,)

4 unique rain asmr audios made it into my top 15 (they help me sleep lolol)

show tunes was my #4 most listened to genre and yet not a single one made it into my top 100. (i'm pretty sure it was all of my late night waitress sing alongs)

i discovered 1,012 new artists and 162 new genres

all very fun and interesting things! however, in looking at this year, there are two things to discuss that are most important: the amount of time i spent listening to music (111,989 minutes) and my top song, fake mona lisa. let's discuss both.

on time: in short, music means a lot to me. in long, i mean that music has been central to my life for as long as i can remember. i think of my church choir and my mother singing eartha kitt and corrine bailey rae in the kitchen, my father's surprise talents at piano when he would play in chapel, and how i like to make up little ditties to sing for my dog or while i cook or to solely entertain myself. if one was to take a look at my journals, each entry is annotated with the song i was listening to or suited my mood at the time i was writing. at any moment, i am capable of revisiting the emotional landscape of old memories all set to the very soundtrack that holds that particular past closest.

i still remember plucking violin strings at 5, how i used to stack music books so i could sit up straight on my piano bench because i was too short at 7, picking up woodwinds in highschool and letting my best friend act as conductor, and now, singing endlessly- day in and day out, because it makes me feel like i am traveling home. i think of creole folk songs that connect me to my family, my diaspora. i remember the favorite songs and artists of people i don't know anymore, but still. it stays with me. my friend cj says i have a great emotional sensitivity to music, but more so, music simply connects to every cornerstone of who i am. the creation of it, the listening, the love of it. the constancy.

music is integral to my daily routine and life. since i was 13, maybe younger, i have always believed that the first song i hear in a day sets the tone so i always try to play something i love and makes me feel joyful to start off on the right foot. i will do this my entire life. every day is permeated by sound and the data shows it. 111,989 minutes is almost 3 months straight. this doesn't even count soundcloud listens or youtube tracks or music i play on my own. this felt fitting. music, this year in particular, has been a salve to both new and old hurt. and maybe i am picking at my scabs, but 2020 has amplified so much anger and shame and fear and despite that, there is so much joy in art. music is a balm for the world, it is poetry in its own right.

on fake mona lisa: so .. i am kind of obsessed with this song. fifteen hours worth of listening, i text my friends i'll join the video call soon - i just need one more replay, i got high and played this song while lying in the middle of a meadow and experienced more emotions than i had had in a very long time, my friends lovingly tease me about it so it's sort of like a character trait now, kind of obsessed. my turning to this song was the sort of romance that i didn't anticipate, but fell very hard into and, if you know me, you know that's my favorite kind. let's get into why: when dedicated side b came out, i was heartbroken. there's really no other way to put it. i was alone, back in my childhood bedroom, and harboring a reopened wound from past relationships that maybe had never closed in the first place. i was in this strange, melancholic knee-deep-in-emotions place & if you're an avid CRJ fan, you recognize that's a place she knows and sings about well.

as a song, fake mona lisa tends to be one of carly's more lyrically opaque tracks. which is fine, i'm a storyteller at heart, i'll craft my own narrative. (and honestly, there wasn't much legwork here.) without doing a full blown analysis, here are pieces that i find important to note about the song lyrically and resonate most with me -- big or small.

(transcription at bottom)

what i'm basically saying is that this song is about risk and young love and sex. its about secrets, cheap thrills, fast & easy desires, and the fantastical euphoria of a dead-end-but-still-fun “we're young so what's the matter,“ relationship. (very reminiscent of LA hallucinations, imo) and to me, someone who has been in and out of this same subset of emotional affairs, fake mona lisa stuck with me. vegas is a city of high risk, high reward- where else to chase that superficial, unattainable someone? more so, the song gives you the understanding that the relationship doesn't last, but that was not what carly ever truly wanted out of it. fake mona lisa is, at its core, about over indulgence in pleasure as a stand in for actual love + commitment, something i am oft to do myself & only did more of after dedicated side b dropped. i latched onto the slow and simmering exposition into glittery pre-chorus, starlit imagery, shiny-faraway vocals, and frankly, there was no competition for my song of the year. the song is a dream. i love it and i know what that says about me, but i stand by it. 

dedicated side b, especially fake mona lisa, carried me through the healing process of heartbreaks that crystallized into many other things- indulgence, desire, risk, short lived romances, secrets, joy, kisses i should've kept to myself, spontaneous dance breaks, tears, etc., it is an album about love, recovery, and returning to the self. fake mona lisa is just my favorite stop on a long train ride to an okay-ness with aspects of romance (both with the self and others) that i am still figuring out the messy, rose-tinted, contours of.

and sonically? i just adore the key of d minor.

as a last touch point, fake mona lisa was only the tip of the iceberg of songs  i obsessed over about not-exactly-ideal romances. again and again and again, heartbreak anthems appeared in my top 100, a deviation from my typical warmth towards romantic sentiments that appeared in past years. instead, there is a sense of love-at-a-distance, a painting yourself as the object of desire, a severed attachment, a not wanting to commit at all (see let's be friends, heartbeat, want you in my room, all by crj ... all appearing on the list.) however, much of what appeared celebrated love and having tremendous, special, struck by cupid, feelings. it's all there. what i'm saying is that carly rae jepsen writes music for lovestruck people- both lucky and not so much, hopeless or hopeful -- you name it. she writes about how you can fall in love with almost anyone, soundtracks for the highs of the first throes of intimacy, the first (and last) kiss, the shared moments between two people when they are each other's whole world, and the palpable distance of heartache, separation, and the landscape between. 

she writes as though she is both eros and psyche, armed with arrows of cascading melodies, tipped with a salve for suppressing+healing+amplifying heartbreak, and lyrics so intimate and dreamy, you really can't help but believe in love with the way she speaks of it. love is a venture from shame, a fantasy that is more real than anything else, tender and kind, pleasurable, and escapable into. the world is better in it, the world is better because of it. in carly rae jepsen's discography, love is the defining pillar of experience. a northern star and guiding principle. it is the only thing, no matter what form. & frankly? i cant help but agree.

as a final note, in hanif wills-abdurraqib's emotion review for MTV, carly rae jepsen's public displays of affection, he says this:

thats all for now. bye 2020.

- august

///

transcription of my notes:

verse 1:

city/star light imagery

i am known for wearing a star stamp on my cheek

infatuation & attraction

paints a photo of a starlet and her lover, a fair weather affair

pre-chorus:

always waiting fro a chance the object of desire

a high from love, addictive pleasures

chorus:

sex & art & risk taking (art synonymous with beauty. + seduction)

she knows she cant handle this in a real way, but wants it

desire vs/& (in conjunction with) pain

verse 2:

an idealistic worldview, hoping for the best, always somewhere else not present. 

dreamy lyrics + dreamy state of mind, cloudy even.

specifically the words fake mona lisa:

contrast, beautiful yet fully acknowledged to be unreal/superficial

a stand in for “real art“ aka “real love“

[ppangjae]

Heyyy I wanted to ask if u could do a ceo!mark or ceo!jaehyun ( I cant choose so I let u decide haha) with the prompts 1 and 12 from ur list Thank uu And by the way ur blog is just overall amazing and I really enjoy ur writings

note: if you would like to request, please refer to this post! it contains the rules before requesting and a list of AUs and prompts to choose from. to read other drabbles written for other requests, just search the tag #prompt drabble game on my blog and it should show up!

send in your requests!

AU: ceo!mark (I chose Mark because I’ve gotten a lot of Jaehyun requests. I decided to spice things up!)

Prompt #1: “2020 vision and you still can’t see that I’m in love with you.”

Prompt #12: “In this economy?”

“Why don’t you just tell her?”

Haechan glances at his best friend when he notices that he doesn’t answer to his question. Mark’s staring at you while you’re busy working in your small office cubicle. A shy smile plays across his lips and Haechan can’t help but fake a gag.

“Are you just going to leave my question unanswered?” Haechan scoffs, and Mark snaps out of his trance. 

“Sorry, what was that?”

“Why don’t you just tell her?” Haechan asks again. “Instead of doing hopeless things like this. Staring at her won’t make things happen on its own.”

“I can’t—”

“You can.” Haechan cuts him off. “In this economy? With you being a CEO? I’m sure she likes you back.”

Mark lets out a frustrated sigh. He’s found himself in yet another complicated situation. Ever since Mark took over the family business as the CEO, he couldn’t help but be excited because that gave him all the excuses to get closer with you. But he just couldn’t do it. To you, he’s nothing but the big boss. To him, you’re that beautiful employee in the HR department he’s been pining over. 

And the excuses he used to see you more were ridiculous. He’d make himself a cup of coffee in the lunch room whenever you had your break. He doesn’t even like coffee, for heaven’s sake! Sometimes, he’d ask you to make some photocopies for him since your office is the closest to the photocopier. Other times, he would stop by your office cubicle to ask about the newly hired employees and interns. It gave him an excuse to hear your soft voice.

And man, did you have such a thick and dense skull. 

“Even if I did, she wouldn’t even realize it.” He frowns.

“Mark, no—”

“She’s so dense! She doesn’t pick up a single clue!”

“Mark, she’s here—”

“It’s just so frustrating!” 

“Mark!”

Mark opens his eyes and he sees you standing at the door. You’re looking at him with wide eyes. He chokes on air and Haechan bites his lip to stop himself from laughing. You look at the both of them anxiously.

“Did I come in at the wrong time, sir?” You ask nervously.

Haechan shakes his head. “No, you came at the right time!”

“Did I?” You say sheepishly. “I don’t know if that was supposed to be sarcastic or not, Haechan-ssi—���

“I’ll leave the both of you alone. It’s my cue to leave.” Haechan starts heading out of Mark’s office, leaving the both of you. 

You scratch the back of your neck. “Sorry, sir.”

“No! No, it’s no problem.” Mark laughs sheepishly. “Come in. Are these the resumes?”

“Yes, sir.” You reply as you take a seat.

He starts scanning through the resumes and you let your eyes wander around his office. You’re trying so hard not to look at Mark, and so you settle your eyes on a plant sitting in the corner of his office. Mark is such a handsome guy, and he’s a great leader. He loves getting the work done, but he’s also very chill with all the employees. He’s someone you admire. 

“So, what are your plans for the new year?” He asks out of nowhere, snapping you out of your thoughts. 

You turn towards him, adjusting your glasses on your nose bridge. “I was actually considering getting laser eye surgery.”

“2020 vision?” He says.

“Yes, sir.” You smile. “I’m starting to think that glasses don’t suit me anymore.”

“2020 vision and you still can’t see that I’m in love with you.” He mutters underneath his breath. He says it in such a quiet voice that you barely picked up what he had just said.

“Sorry?” You question and he shakes his head.

“Nothing.” He smiles. 

As he finishes reading the resumes, he hands them back over to you and shows you which one to call in for an interview. You smile and excuse yourself to get back to work. As you’re finally at the door, he calls out our name.

“Yes, sir?”

“You don’t need to get laser eye surgery, you look just fine with your glasses.” He explains. “In fact, you look beautiful with your glasses on.”

You feel your cheeks heat up. It was like he was a mirror, because there was an obvious tint of red showing up on his cheeks as well. You bite your lip.

“I’ll take that into consideration, sir. Thanks for your input.”

author’s note: there are still many more requests i have yet to finish LOL. but i hope you liked this! thank you for requesting :-)

[cybernightwanderer]

A little note on biology, family, time and irony.

Today i woke up to realize my mom went trought my wallet, and who knows what else. The last known time i found out she did this, was one year ago, when she beat the crap out of me, pulled me by my hair and threaten to kick me out for the house without a chance to ask for anyone help or even get my shit. She did all this, because she demanded 100 euros extra to what i was paying her monthly and i said no because i was trying to get enought money to leave. To wich she threatned me again that i can never leave if i dont pay my deth to her. Yada yada, same old same old. She used to do this a lot, she would control my money even tho i always payed what i owed her. Yet she always wanted more, and would always guilt trip me if i even spent that money on myself, and would force me to buy random shit for her. All trought out my life she did this, going trought my things and then demanding and interrogating me using force. She never did these things to my brothers, and they actually never helped at home, not with money , not even taking a trash bagg out. I remenber everytime she even asked my brother to set the table it would turn into a two hour yelling marathon, and then id be the one to do it. This was daily, i couldnt rest from work, i couldnt study for school. And if i said i was busy id get punched, pulled by my hair and so forth. I was always the dog, that did everything she ordered and gave her what she demanded. I would be left with 40 euros on my pocket after a whole month of working just because she forced me to, and i couldnt say a word about it, and even so she would control my money. Few years forward and she still did that, but more violently and sneaky. When i was younger she would just take it and then hit me etc. Or take it while hitting me. Wether it was food, money or even clothes, a jacket , or a scarf. I remenber having a specific outfit for job interviews, and i would let her know in advance that i would have a job interview X day. And i would warn her, dont use this shirt or if u use it put it back before the morning. And every single time, i had an important interview or just job meeting, i would go crazy in the morning crying and go trough all my shit looking for that shirt, because she would use it and not put it back. Then there would be yelling, at 5 in the morning, me asking her where the shirt was and she yelling back she didnt toutch it, or even toutch my stuff. Wich later that day coming home finding that shirt on my bed, and her just brushing the situation  off her shoulder. And then threatning to hit me when i asked her. So eventually i just gave up. I told her, take what u want, use what you want. Growing up, i never had my own clothes, my own things, and the little i had , my brother would steal it. if i had a bag of chips i bought with my own money i saved up my brother would steal it. If i had saved up money my brother would steal it. And when i cried for help i got beat up. “ stop complaining about ur bother “ / “ stop crying he said he didnt “ / “ leave ur brother alone “ etc etc... Around at the age or 18/19 when i had a more permanent job, i started buying my own pants, my own shirt and my own things. I didnt have to wear my brothers clothes anymore. I was free. But not getting stuck into those times right now, because if i star writting eveything i dont think a day would be enough. So...  Like i was saying , today she went trought my wallet and checked my bank balance, etc. And i went to her room and i asked her, “ hey did you go in my room? where you looking for something or do you need something of mine?” And i wasnt even done with that sentance, she got really agressive and said “ i dont need shit from your room, i didnt enter, why??? “ To wich i replied, well my things were moved around and my door blocker was out of place, and i always close it so the door doesnt move. To wich she replied “ well it was the wind “.. Note : the door stopper is heavy and the door was jammed, and even if it was the wind, it wouldnt push the door locker all the way bellow the bed.... Im still shaking...why am i shaking? Its not even anger, its just hopelessness.... Everyday, my life just doesnt change, nothing changes. I feel crazy, i legit feel like im going insane and can only sit and watch myself get worse and worse. Is this what she wants? to send me to a mental hospital or some shit? to lock me up in a room and im not even capable of getting up? Is that her goal?... Is that why she “saved me “ from killing myself? Im more afraid of her having complete control over my body and life than of dying or being arrested... Does that even make sence?

Every now and then i google on how to make a will, and what i need to make a will official. I know its stupid but i mean if i ever die, at least i want the good things that i have , my things, the things i got with my own money to go to someone i love, someone who actually gives a shit about me. I dont know. I know how to kill myself, and i have what i need for it to happend.` I just kinda hoped i could still have a life somehow.. I hoped i could escape this, i hoped maybe in the future if i work hard enough i could be happy someday. I could have my own house and a decent job, that i could have my health back, that i could have myself back. I havent done it, the knowledge of failling and being sent to a mental hospital or being crontrolled by her, scares me, completly terrorizes me... ..... im gonna leave this here, i cant seem to write anything else whitout crying my shit off..

[mylittlemesseduphead]

Bipolar mixed episode tips.

I have been thinking of doing a number of helpful tips that i have found helped me for various things and mixed episodes are something i don’t see talked about often. I have probably had more mixed episodes than either depression or mania and they are super intense but i often find people don’t even mention that they exist so here are the things i like to do when having them. to clarify for those that don’t know a mixed episode in Bipolar is when you have symptoms of BOTH mania and depression at the same time. 

> agitation is a huge problem for me during these times so having things you can do to let out the energy is a must. sports is good, in particular kicking a soccer ball or something else you can kick hard. 

> walking, running, swimming (this is the best for me as it is the most calming), weight lifting, EXERCISE

> writing in a journal or listening to calming music. i have the emphasize the calming part because listening to fast or strong music makes me more agitated. but something to express your feelings. art is also great for this.

> having someone around but not too many people. during mixed episodes i feel very overwhelmed in many ways and having someone too keep me grounded is very important. someone who is happy to just be there but not try too much to get me to sit or interact. and not too many people or i feel closed in.

> self harm is a huge problem during these times and it is important that i have a way to manage that so either having a support person to talk to when i need to or getting rid of anything i could use. 

> if you feel like you are going to hurt yourself tell someone because when i am in one of these episodes i am very impulsive and it is extremely difficult to stop myself from doing things i feel compelled to do.

> take time off if you need it this is when i yell at people the most and sometimes it just comes out of my mouth without warning and i snap and it is not a good idea to be at work of school when that happens as people can misunderstand. 

> it is ok if you cant sit still or if you are crying a lot, let it out walk around and cry and scream into pillows if that is what you need

> make sure you have someone to help if you are struggling with self care or looking after pets if you have them 

> if you get psychotic symptoms tell someone and try stop before you react if possible

> stay away from dangerous situations again i am highly impulsive during these times and that combined with the intense urges for self harm is a recipe for disaster. if you are starting to do risky and reckless things find someone who can spend time with you and remind you to think things through. 

if you are having a mixed episode it can feel very confusing. i feel the speed of mania and the agitation and at the same time i feel incredibly depressed and hopeless. there is nothing to be ashamed about but it is hard to deal with and i often need more support during these times. its ok if you can’t manage this is when it is time to pull the safety cord and get some backup.  

[playerstarlight]

velia announcement is dropped.

[ kael to izabel ] iz iz iz, did u hear??? bout vla? [ izabel to kael ] what’s a vla?

the first time she even heard the game was from her younger brother. starlight’s scene has always been more on the horror side if she’s playing video games -- which really wasn’t often. her younger brothers, especially kael, were always more into video games. usually the kind didn’t matter but he a fascination with a world outside of the real one. something izabel never exactly understood but there were times when she felt the passion that the eight year old boy exhibited for some dumb game amusing, even enduring. especially as he talked about becoming the best player -- better than betas. really, it was his own fault izabel hatched the plan to play the game to be one step ahead of him in skills and levels. too bad that would never really happen. 

one month before velia is released.  

[ kael to izabel ] izzzzzzzzzy. dads still syin no [ kael to izabel ] thugh u culd tlk to him? [ izabel to kael ] it’s a video game kael not the end of the world [ kael to izabel ] buuuuut izzzzzz [ izabel to kael ] cant u wait ur birthday is coming up rght? dad might get it then [ kael to izabel ] thas two far it wnt be fun thn !!! [ izabel to kael ] *too [ izabel to kael ] three weeks is not far moron & if its not gonna be fun in three weeks why get it ?? [ kael to izabel ] thets not he poit

this is a conversation she would end up having with him nearly everyday until may. he was not about to give up on this one video game -- something she really didn’t understand. but little did he know, she was already talking to their dad, setting this entire thing up as some kind of early birthday gift with of course, the unknown knowledge that she was going to be there to ensure that the game was actually appropriate for eight year old -- nearly nine -- to play. she has this entire plan on getting on before he does, working on the skills and just being a far better player than he will be -- all to get under his skin as revenge for the constant messages about this game. which meant she had to get her own copy and headset for this game. a pain really -- and a regret later down the road.

velia release date.

[ kael to izabel ] ha ! i new u wuld talk too dad! [ izabel to kael ] *to [ izabel to kael ] and i have no idea what you are referencing

throughout the day her phone was buzzing with messages from her brother, her parents, the family group chat. everyone had something to say about this velia game, and her kid brother was just so damn excited to get it. her stepmom spent that day letting izabel know the exact moment they were going to reveal the gift to the kid, even sending her a video of him opening the gift. while her dad swore he wasn’t going to let her brother get on until after lunch which gave her some time to set up the trap, or at least set up her own game and get going on building whatever skills or shit the thing even had. fuck, how does one even play things like that? izabel has always been one for horror games, never tried it in a virtual reality world. she wasn’t too focused on the time, wasn’t paying any mind that it was after lunch, after the point where she should be meeting up with him -- wherever that was supposed to be but she told her parents that she’ll find a way. that’s what izabel did, figured shit out.

not anymore.

at first, the players around her just thought it was a bug. the logout button will quickly return. sure there are people out there going crazy over how it’s not there! somebody's getting fired. but those jokes were quickly left aside as panic set in when they were all gathered at this town square. when his voice came on to inform that that this was the real game -- getting out, surviving velia. death was apart of it and you either lived to see the real world again or die. there was no way out but up the floors, clearly them all one by one, working together. funny how all of that turned out now.

the town square filled with every single player meant that there were far too many players to push through the crowd and find one little eight year old kid. her panic wasn’t about the logout button, it wasn’t about the prospect of dying inside a video game -- it was about kael. she was suppose to be looking out for him -- making sure he was going to do fine in this game, teasing him with her level. she was suppose to look so cool with skills higher than his own. but how could she do that if he wasn’t there? if she can’t find him? how will she know he’s safe, away from any harm? god damn it, she needs to find him, to make sure that he’ll survive this. he’s eight years old for fuck’s sake. this game was a mistake. helping her brother get it was a mistake. she has to fix this -- it’s her job as an older sister. her responsibility.

and yet everywhere she looked, he wasn’t there.

present day.

leaving behind luna? a mistake. but one she would make it again if it meant that joining unity would help her find her brother through those orphanages that house so many kids and just be able to be around them who may even know her brother and where he could be. the only sacrifice she would have to make is losing her friend? so be it. it was a sacrifice she had to make. no matter how hard that actually was, no matter how much she wished she could fix things. perhaps starlight could have done something different, perhaps she should have asked luna to join her -- but she wasn’t thinking. no, she was only thinking about herself. selfish, she knows, and so does luna now.

everything that luna says about her is always right. the other had the natural ability to look past her bullshit and see who she really is -- selfish, cruel. everything that her guild doesn’t stand for and yet that’s exactly who she is. unity was far too good, too kind, too caring. the members in the guild were far better people than she ever could be, that she ever was. just because her cursor is green doesn’t mean she’s without flaws.

every moment she spends inside the guild was just another moment to add to her feeling like a fraud inside her own skin. and with her younger brother not being anywhere in sight, this was getting draining. the game, the players, the floors. everything. she hasn’t felt normal since -- well, since seeing abby again. but even that was short lived. normal wasn’t something she knew anymore.

and here she was nowhere closer to finding her brother. all of this was for nothing. pushing away all those she gave a damn about and for what? nothing. absolutely zip. there were the comments here and there, rumors that turned up to be false, players who had the same appearance as her brother for the most part but in the end, weren’t him. was he even still out there or was she just looking for a ghost?  

damn, it’s been a while since she felt like this -- this hopelessness. the empty pit in her stomach she feels every time she swallows, the dread she gets every time she wakes -- if she does end up sleeping that night. the burning desire to just -- keep going. not stopping for a second. pushing herself until there is nothing else she can do. nothing left inside of her. but maybe she was already at the latter point. last time she had felt this way where it was overwhelming was when she was with ben -- before they had rebuilt their lesson for the twentith time at least. he seemed to always be there when she really needed him and well, now -- she was thinking selfishly again. if she could turn messages off, she would have done so by now. but instead, she let it sit there. let the messages build up. once again, pushing him away. just like she did with anyone that ever grown too close. distance was much better. distance allowed people not to care. and she cannot keep caring. all caring does is hurt and that’s one pain she’s tired of constantly having. 

it’s been three years. three years of this bullshit. three years of being stuck in a game and what does she have to show it? she was meant to find her brother on the launch day just to mess with him -- joining the game to make fun of him only to be here with him, no where to be found. every other player is accounted for, online or not. she would have found him by now. maybe everyone is right. maybe he was dead.

and every time that thought even starts to come up, she forces it back down -- but not this time. this time is different. this time, she believes it. after all, thanatos never has given her a reason not to trust them. things that they have heard, rumors they passed along -- they were right for the most part, those rumors just never lead to her brother standing in front of her. but rather to someone else, another boy lost and forgotten. and now, she’s questioning that a rumor will never hold an ounce of truth. 

because this wasn’t a rumor. no one can fake this. written in the library -- it was plain and simple. an obituary pops up and the familiar name, one that she had once spent long hours to help him learn to write each individual letter. a name she’s said in many different tones, with the occasion full name annoyance. a name written in block letters above a door in some house in ohio. or maybe it’s not anymore.

after all. he’s been dead for three years. 

this was exactly why she never bothered to come to the library and use the database. she was always afraid of finding exactly this. afraid that searching his name in the library, this would be what comes up. afraid to know that the last years of searching, avoiding, pushing everyone and everything to the side just so the chance to find him was all for nothing. afraid to learn that everything that happened was her fault. she wasn’t there. 

and now that’s exactly what she learned.

this information just leaves her -- empty. enraged. tired. this game does nothing but take and take and take. she can’t remember the last conversation that she had with him -- one that wasn’t over the phone. can’t remember his voice. is that what just happens? you forgot those little things you thought you could never forget -- things you thought you wouldn’t care enough to miss? 

the day she went to the library -- she just left without a single word. without any further communication towards -- anyone, including ben. including those in her guild. though the latter wasn’t exactly odd for her but she always checked in. how long can she go without speaking to anyone? two days? five? maybe that random player -- goldengurlz -- would be the last one she speaks to before she runs out. runs out of arrows. runs out of healing potions. doesn’t matter which one happens first. was her new little mission now was to just use whatever she must up in her inventory and throw herself into a fight that there was no positive outcome for her? probably. maybe. it’s not like she was thinking straight anymore.

but what she was currently thinking about was creating the most damage she could before going out in flames. use everything that she must before a strike made her turn into dust like she’s seen so many others become. if she really wanted to do some damage to this damn game before she’s out of arrows, out of bullshiting her way through the days, it seemed to her that this was the best, and only, way out now. after all, 

it’s not like she has anything left to live for.

[kitcat992]

Some honest responses from other MCU fans regarding Endgame

Because I know I’ve been one hell of a negative Nancy the past 24 hours, but wanted to show that my raw distaste for this film doesn’t go unshared.

particledamage: This entire thing sucks. I’m bitter.

SelenitaLunar: Worst ending ever. God can't believe this is the real deal. As a Tony fan they give us everything: Pepperony married and iron baby and Rescue only to kill him in the end and stab our hearts and tarnish all our memories of the MCU and this 11 years? Sure they are gonna subvert expectations, hope they enjoy it fully. As I'm not enjoying Marvel ever again. Shame on them. The Russos can go to hell, honestly.

greengirlrunning: They did Thor and Loki so dirty. The Loki thing is so obviously forced so that it ties in to his TV series, but it really undermines his entire arc in the MCU films. I'm pissed. Don't even get me started on Thor. It's perfectly believable that he would be depressed and feel hopeless, but to turn him into a joke and make him basically useless while Tony and Cap get epic (if problematic) endings? Bullshit.

_Mavericks: I’m sorry to say this, but the plot is pure shit. It’s not the case of getting disappointed because we wanted more. It is simply bad as it is. Sad ending.

sawinadream: Honestly Steve not preventing shit/suddenly acting selfishly AFTER being deemed worthy by Mjolnir/ignoring Bucky in Hydra captivity and SHIELD being infiltrated/the timeline somehow not registering these particular alterations IF he did change anything for the better.... OOC and lazy writing at its finest. Also wtf @ Sharon Carter now? Ew

priscillia28: It sounds like a bad fan theory

delta_charlie_2511: So the leaks we were sure were wrong turned out to be right. What they did to Cap is disappointing. It would have made more sense have him sacrifice himself and then wake up in a dream like sequence with Peggy where she is waiting for him to take her to the dance

valhallaorange: I'm upset with many of the main avengers stories, but I'm going to focus on Cap for this one.

It seems completely out of character for him to go back and marry Peggy, knowing in the future she HAD a husband and children, and a well-iived life of accomplishment. To me, it was a focal point of Cap's character to be unselfish and accepting of his new place in time. That included his love for Peggy and respecting that she lived her life fully.

It seems so wrong that he would go back in time to be with her and erase her family (children, possible grandchildren) in the process.

I'm so disappointed. I feel they've done his character so wrong and the only good movie of him was CA:WS. :(

Now that paired with the characterizations and situations of Tony, Thor, and Nat especially make me sad and unhappy.

ALSO, did the Russos just decide to say "Eh, screw it." With Sharon Carter? (Not a fan of her in the movies, but she also deserved way batter.)

valhallaorange: Agreed. A dance and then back to the future would've been acceptable and given more emotion to the pain and letting go Steve is known to experience. Also, Peggy deserves her own storyline and fully lived life without it being erased and her being reduced to only Cap's love interest.

captainamericasgf: This is literally my worst nightmare holy shit

RyuKenBlanka: Iron Man dying and Cap going back to the 1940's to be with Peggy is just lazy writing and closure for the characters and is the reality of Hollywood and not being able to have actors play roles forever. Both in reality should retire and take more advisory roles.

Suedeash: Also Cap's whole nightmare thing in Age of Ultron was dealing with the fact that he can't go back to Peggy, and yet here he just goes back? And knowing all of the horrible shit that happens in the future like 9/11, the Hydra infestation of SHIELD and all that he just sits back and does nothing? This sounds like a character assassination tbh, it would make far more sense for Tony to live with his family and Cap to have the heroic death as a way to bring his whole character arc to a fitting end.

Jedi_Mom: I think people began to think that it was impossible for marvel and Russos to let us down... we learned that they were capable of mistakes... the hard way.

DXGabriel: So.... when thor was becoming cool they just fuck his character? reaaly?

dracogladio1741: This is so convoluted. The ending is weird to say the least. Jeez.

inkwell84: Critics liked it. Audiences said what the eff.

itellteacherstories: This is what I get for overhyping myself: Disappointment.

lovestarkiller: Tony is gone like that?.... And Cap ending is just so...

FreeTanner17: One of the biggest disappointments is they kill off Natasha, don’t even give her a funeral and basically never mention her name again

Hawkguyism: Honestly, I'm severely disappointed

Cap's ending is a disservice to the character and his arc, Thor's ending makes no sense, he literally abandons all his people, Tony's ending is way too cruel, they could just say he went away and stuff like that, would be much better considering all the character's been through, Hulk and Nat are meeeehhhh, and seriously, how many fucking times is Hawkeye gonna retire? And like,we know he's gonna come back in the Disney+ show to train Kate and stuff

Overall, the plot seems too simple and the endings are pretty bad. Of course, in terms of action and entertainment, this movie will be a blast, but when it comes to story and narrative, it's a letdown. Especially considering we waited 11 years for this.

dumbwatercba: I feel like the writers went online and picked the worse theories out there and made a film out of it. Non of this seems right. The reviews were so positive. This seems like a steaming pile of shit. Thanus seems like the only thing missing from this.

msg53: I was hoping Endgame would be a good stopping point anyway. I would have preferred a satisfying ending, but a shitshow that turns me off of the entire genre works too, I guess.

IrishGrouch24: Man I am pissed the F off right now.

raven_rising:...Thanks Marvel, I kind of hate it.

scruk: I have no idea how they managed to fuck up this badly. No idea. It's like a bad fanfiction written by someone who's only watched Infinity War

CactusJackkkk: I feel like I just wasted 11 years of my life watching these movies with no payoff in the end.

eutears:This absolutely makes no sense. I cannot believe how the Russos thought this might be a good finale. Most of the plot crumbles if you put even a little bit of thought into it.

InlineSurfer: Keving Faige and MCU thinks,  that fans will take whatever they give us, but i cant, this so lazy and stupid script.

Griever11422: Notmycap. Notmytony

[bel0vedmendes]

An Angel Among the Angels: Part 3

Shawn Mendes X Reader

*Part 1* * Part 2 *

Word Count: 1,850

Warnings: Language, Super Fluffy

Description: Y/N is working behind the scenes at the VS Fashion Show, and Shawn has his sights set on her. She can’t believe he would even look her way, considering they’re literally surrounded by Angels. 

“NOT MY GIF”

“How did you…. When did.. Oh my god.” I stutter, so many questions I need answered but I decided to wait on those and enjoy the feeling of his arms around my waist. I pull back taking his face in my hands, utterly speechless that this boy had flown nearly 8 hours to come see me.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” I whisper, not realizing I had tears streaming down my face until he was wiping them away.

“I really wanted to see you. I hope it’s okay.” He said leaning down to kiss my head. 

“Are you kidding?! Of course it’s okay!” I squealed hugging him again, pulling him inside my hotel room.

I pull him into me and hug him for what feels like an hour. I inhale his scent, a woodsy vanilla mixture making me swoon instantly. His hand tousles the hair at the back of my neck, holding my head close to his chest. I pull away still in complete shock that he flew all this way to come see me.

“I’m shaking, I cant believe you’re here! I’ve been trying to call you all day.”

“Yeah I decided to come last night, booked the flight, now here I am.” He smiles at me adorably.

We both sat on the bed and talked for hours. He was tired from the flight, and I was tired from work. Laying around was exactly what we both needed right now. I could tell that he was antsy for whatever reason. He talked about how part of him hates when he has time off because he ends up thinking too much, which I guessed was why he was so on edge. I told him about work and thanked him for inspiring me on the phone the night before. Eventually I was distracted by the talking of my stomach. It was so loud, Shawn stopped talking immediately.

“You okay?” He asked.

“I’m starving. I was about to eat when you got here.” I say getting up from the bed and grabbing the hotel menu. Shawn stands from the bed and walks over to the window, looking out at the peaceful streets below us. Next thing I know my hand is in his and he’s dragging me out of the door.

“Where are we going?” I giggle pulling my knit hat over my ears, as he does the same.

“We’re in Paris, were not ordering room service,” He giggles as he sarcastically rolls his eyes and shakes his head at me. “I think I know a place.”

We walk the quiet streets of Paris, my arm wrapped through his as he text god knows who to find out where he ate once upon a time. It was hard not to get pulled into the romantic ambiance looming all around us. Lights hanging on all of the houses and buildings, reflecting off the shiny cobble stone street. In the foreground the Eifel Tower, luminating the quaint town.

“Its beautiful, isn’t it?” Shawn says quietly, nudging my side.

“Its absolutely stunning, I cant wait to see it close up.” I reply, referring to the Eifel Tower.

“I think, I can make that happen.” He says with a smirk, I squint at him wondering what he was up to.

Shawn had connections, it was definitely one of the perks of being a superstar. One of these connections just so happened to have access to pretty much any spot in Paris we wanted to see. First he took us to 24 hour bakery that was just a few blocks away from the Eifel Tower. We sat down at a tiny table and sipped on our cappuccinos and devoured the most delicious pastries I’ve ever had. I listened attentively  as he told me about all of his favorite places in the world so far. Each time telling me how he wanted to take me there, which made my heart swell. I couldn’t tell if he was saying it because he enjoyed my company or because he saw a future with me. Either way it was nice to hear. Once were full from far too many carbs, I once again was caught staring at the beautiful tower overhead.

“I have one more surprise for you.” He says winking at me and nodding to the man who brought us to the bakery. He was sitting with a friend a table away, so we could enjoy our dinner. I looked at my watch, eyes widening once I realize how late it was.

“Shawn its almost 3 am.” I smile at him tiredly.

“Lets just do this one thing, then we can get you back to your hotel.” He smirks, taking my hand.

I obviously agree, because who the hell was actually going to tell this boy ‘no’.

We start walking closer to the Eifel Tower, and I start to get confused. I know that the grounds of the tower are closed, so I’m not sure what his plan is. We approach a gate from behind the tower, and the man takes a keys and opens the gate for us. I reluctantly walk through the gate following Shawn closely. The man stops, with his friend as me and Shawn continue to walk forward. It seems to be a special entrance for events. There were props and equipment everywhere, but among them was a path. The path lead up to a bridge that overlooked the tower. It was the perfect view, honestly. We couldn’t go up  into the Tower, but this got us closer than we would have gotten by ourselves.  

“I did some filming here for a music video…” his voice wanders as he takes in the magical surrounding.

“Oh so that’s how you got the hook up.” I say mockingly

“You know, being a Rockstar has its perks.” He jokes back.

He found a bench nearby that gave us an amazing view, he sat and started to pat the seat next to him. I sat next to him, he instantly closed the few inches between us. His arm wrapped around my shoulders pulling me close. He was really good about making the first move. It made it easy for me because I didn’t have to think about what he wanted. I liked that about him a lot, his heart was on his sleeve. I leaned into him, falling perfectly into his side, his head immediately rested on mine. We sit there quietly for a while, just enjoying the view and each other’s company. I started to tell him how I had always been obsessed with Paris because of the movies. It was just the epitome of romance, and I loved every bit of it. He hums in response, giggling at the hopeless romantic-ness. He reached for his phone and started playing a piano version of I Cant Help Falling In Love. My heart started to swell again. He slowly stands up offering his hand, I giggle taking his hand in mine as he pulls me up into his chest. His hands wrapping around my waist pulling me close, while my fingers lace behind his neck. He smiles down at me softly singing the song to me.

“Take my hand,”

He singings, taking my hand from behind his neck slowly spinning my body around

“Take my whole life too,”

He pulls me in close our hands still intertwined.

“For I cant help… falling in love with you.”

He smiles down at me, slowly taking my chin as his eyes flick back and forth from my lips to my eyes. My heart was pounding so hard I was sure it was going to wake this sleeping city. His tongue jets out to wet   his lips before he leans in to press them against mine. His hands cup my face and my hands gently tug at the collar of his coat. His lips mold perfectly to mine, he finally pulls away giving me one last peck on the lips.

“You make me crazy, y/n” He says quietly, resting his forehead on mine.

“I know the feeling.” I quietly chuckle.

We stand there for awhile swaying to a playlist of ballads, kissing and joking with each other. It was as if time was standing still. The lights from the Eifel Tower were reflecting in this boys eyes, and I couldn’t help but stare into them. Completely in awe by the fact that someone had cared about me enough to fly across the world to eat croissants and see the Eifel Tower at 3 am. I started to laugh thinking about how bizarre it really all was.

“What?” Shawn asks confused, obviously he didn’t know what I was thinking.

“Its just crazy isn’t it?” I ask and his eyebrows furrow, telling me that he had no clue.

“Just a few months ago, we were watching Harry Potter and eating in your hotel room. Now were kissing under the Eifel Tower.” I start to giggle, and his lips attempt to smile but something holds him back.

“Hey…”  I coo, my hands finding his face. “Bizarre, yes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I slowly bring his face to mine so I could kiss him softly.

“Okay good, you made me nervous for a second.” He giggles, smiling a genuine smile.

The darkness started to disappear all around us. Through squinting eyes we realized that we had stayed until the sun had started to come up. We take that as our cue to head back to our hotel. The boys who showed us around, gladly giving us a ride to the hotel. Shawn thanked them infinitely, and we made our way inside to my hotel room. Once inside I start to take off my coat, and shoes. Shawn just watches me nervously, I giggle and ask him what his deal is.

“I… guess you want to get some sleep. I have a room down the hall… “ He says awkwardly as he starts to walk towards the door.

I finish taking off my shoes, and I silently laugh to myself. Yes, Shawn was amazing at making the first move. This was adorable because he really didn’t know what I wanted and he was too polite to assume I wanted him to stay. I slowly walk up to him, he watches me closely gnawing at his lip, he was nervous. I slowly start to unzip his jacket, sliding it down his arms and off of his body. I slide his beanie off of his head, and run my fingers through his hair earning a smile from him.

“I want you to stay with me.” I say confidently, wrapping my arms around his neck once again.

His hands gently finding my waist once again.

“You’re sure?” He asks as he backs me up to the bed.

“Only if you want to.” I agree quietly, as the back of my knees hit the bed, forcing me to sit down. His legs slot between mine, his hands cupping my cheeks once again.

“Yes, Baby, I would absolutely love that.” He says before leaning down and softly pecking my lips.

A/N: Hellllooo. I hope you liked Part 3! If you did please give me feedback! I would love to keep writing this, but its also at a good place to stop. 

[asianpower5]

Ok so its been 24 hours since I saw the movie and I wanted to write down my thoughts, most of it is for me so I can go back and read how I felt about it years from now, its going to be very long and wordy but im just writing as the thoughts come and now worrying about grammar or anything, that includes timeline, so my thoughts may come to me out of order . I’m going to put it all under read more so i dont spoil it for any of you lovely people

So I got to the theater like 40 minutes early because I just couldnt contain myself and I wanted to get my perfect seat. Wore my new HTTYD shirt and brought my toothless plushie from build a bear (another little girl had the same idea she was so cute)

but now onto the movie

they threw me for a loop I was totally expecting a “this is berk’” speech as the very opening, not the raid, but honestly this movie is about change so I liked the change. But I still got my fix, because as they flew back to Berk my only thought was “this is berk”, AND THEN HE SAID THE THING YES.

Loved the scene in the great forge, it just really showed how big Berk is and how many vikings there are, and seeing them all happy and enjoying a meal together just warmed my heart, plus Gobber teasing Astrid and Hiccup about marriage and Valka beating Spitelout at arm wrestling haha.

Tuffnut was comedic gold, talking about his “beard” and giving hiccup bro pep talks. And when he said the earth was round? and the stars? I almost died laughing. 

Grimmel  being a complete jerk and drugging those poor dragons with their own venom.

Fetch with Hiccup’s leg?? and him dropping it in Astrid’s lap and then being over protective of the leg when Stormfly came near it? Then Hiccup tickling Astrid, what did we do to deserve such a cute Hiccstrid scene?

Toothless meeting the light fury was even better than I thought, he was such a dork and had no idea what to do, then looking to Hiccup for advice about how to flirt oh gosh silly boy.

Im calling Hiccup out on his saying Astrid isnt a romantic, I mean Hiccup is totally the hopeless romantic, but Astrid in my mind is totally a secret romantic, at least when it comes to her own relationship.

Also Toothless practicing his mating dancing by watching his shadow and studying the naddars as they danced was so adorable.

Ok ngl I actually thought Grimmel had shot Toothless in the house, and I was so happy to see that is was part of their plan and that he had back up (sorry Fishlegs I love you and you took one for the team so good on you!). Why I was surprised by this idk, I know these characters enough to know that they would pull something like that. BUT HICCUP TELLING GRIMMEL OFF AND CALLING HE OUT FOR SITTING IN STOICKS CHAIR, YES BOY. That just made the feeling of Berk being attacked and flames burning everywhere hurt so much more.

The meeting with all of Berk? Just wow, I mean first off I love that Hiccup had his whole gang up there with him, just goes to show that he really trusts them and values them as being part of the team. Astrid sticking up for my boy and Tuff just going “IM WITH HIM WHO ELSE” A plus team work, I loved the support. Not to mention the fact that Hiccup was able to convince them all to pack up what little they could carry and leave. I mean we know from the first movie that vikings are stubborn, but they are also capable of change. The fact that they left their home of 7 generations and probably left some import things they couldnt carry with them was such an amazing gesture. And Berk really is where ever the vikings are, it is not just a single island. It really hurt to see them leave the island, the place where it all started, but the fact that they all stuck together really shows how strong of a bond they have as a people. 

Light fury knocking Hiccup off Toothless, such a sassy girl I love her. I mean come on Toothless was obviously gunna save him. Also the sheeps wanting to be dragons is something I never new I needed, especially after seeing how afraid of dragons they used to be (I mean the dragons did hunt them, but im all here for them cosplaying as their favorite dragons) 

I JUST REMEMBERED I NEVER TALKED ABOUT FLASHBACKS SO LETS DO THAT NOW. First of little toddler Hiccup??? THE FRICKIN CUTEST THING EVER OK. I know there was a line in the trailer that wasnt in the movie the one where Stoick says something like “I believe its your destiny to find the hidden world so dragons and vikings no longer need to fight” but I wasnt sad that they didnt keep this line. I think it makes more sense to have what they did, Stoick talking about finding the hidden world so they could protect Berk from it. I mean this took place when they were still fighting dragons, so yea the line about destiny could mean he thinks Hiccup would destroy the hidden world, but the tone of the scene was so calm and relaxing that to me it gave off the vibe that Stock was implying that Hiccup would unite their worlds, which doenst make sense since again they were still at war with the dragons at this point. So I liked what they had in the movie, I think what they kept fit the tone and it still showed how Berk was at war with the dragons.

NEXT FLASHBACK. Little Hiccup just sneaking down the stairs and then his little face like “oh shit” when he saw his dad was up and trying to sneak back up. The way he said he wanted water, I JUST IT WAS SO CUTE, whoever voiced tiny hiccup good job because omg it was so cute. How happy he was to go over to his dad and sit on his lap.  When he asked Stoick if he would get them a new mom, my heart just broke I mean Hiccup was so young that he didn’t fully grasp the situation, and I mean before Hiccup got caught sneaking downstairs we saw Stoick crying. That was so important to me I mean Stoick the Vast, he is massive, and remember the first movie the fact about him ripping a dragons head off as a baby? Yea this character who basically screams masculinity has yet another vulnerable scene, showing yet again that crying is ok (I mean back in the first movie when he told Hiccup he wasnt his son, and when he met Valka again?? yes please keeping showing people that being masculine doenst mean you cant cry!). Stoick teaching Hiccup about love, yes dad points for you, I adore the scenes like these, that show how much Stock loves his family, he would be so proud of Hiccup and who he has become. OH YEA SIDE NOTE HOW I FORGET HICCUPS STUFFED DRAGON? THROWBACK TO THE TV SERIES THANK YOU.

New Berk, cuz thats the best I got to call it right now, love how everyone basically immediately goes to claiming their areas ahha.

Ok Snotlout my boy did you really just say “who died and made yout Chief” because too soon, I still love you

Low key thought they were gunna make Snotlout and Eret a thing, despite the weird flirting Snotlout had with Valka. I mean he was trying to be taller than Eret, and Eret was like hah no, yall id ship it ngl eret and snotlout 

Toothless meeting up with the light fury again, but this time trusting his instincts is another reminder that toothless is in fact an animal, a very intelligent animal, but an animal who has instincts and a desire to be with his own kind, I mean can you blame him? Its been at least 6 years since hes seen another dragon that was like him, maybe even longer depending on how long he was alone before he met hiccup. 

The throw back to the forbidden friendship scene? With toothless drawing in the sand, and oh God I never thought I would get so emotional about sand but dang that sand animation just was so realistic that I wanted to touch it. Hiccup being like “wow now you can draw”, Toothless growling at the light fury like he did to Hiccup back in the first for stepping on his art, come on guys Toothless worked hard on his art! The light fury flying away but toothless not being able to follow her, another throwback to when he couldnt fly with the dragons during the snoggletog special.

Hiccup making toothless a tail to fly alone, and Im glad they added the part when Astrid said they tried it before, again throwback to snoggletog, and that he didnt want the tail, and Hiccup clarifying that it was because he had no need to fly alone before. Now my only worry here is that the casual fan will just think that the exchange is a copout, I mean unless you remember the special you wouldnt know that they tired making him a tail fin and he didnt want it, so to the casual fan it might seem like they only added the comment to answer the question “If hiccup could make a tail fin why did he never do it before?”. Seeing the special where toothless destroys the tail really adds a layer of depth to the scene, because those of us who saw it remember that it was a statement that even though Hiccup had the ability to create a tail so toothless could fly alone, toothless wanted to fly with his best friend and didnt care for the tail. 

now the actual scene with toothless flying alone finding the light fury, first off it was so cute how he showed her his new tail! He was so proud of it, and no doubt proud of his best friend for making it. The scene itself though reminded me so much of the romantic flight, the way they flew together above the clouds and how it gave a sense of flight because we couldnt see the ground, ugg it was so beautiful. I was honestly blown away by the animation, the clouds and the color, they were all so beautiful. Toothless and the light fury flying together and really bonding, similar to Astrid and Hiccup on their first flight together, ugg all the throwbacks to the first movie really killed me. Also Toothless trying to copy the light fury and how she goes invisible was so cute, he was like “ah yes I got this, wait no shit again, no shit again again!” then he basically summons thors power of lighting and finds his new power, so proud of my baby. 

Now I fully believe that Toothless was going to go back to Hiccup after he spent time with the light fury in the hidden world, no way my boy would leave my other boy without a goodbye. But the other started to freak Hiccup out, I mean Hiccup knew his best friend would come back, but the others made him doubt it and seeing him freak out was heart breaking.

Astrid being like boy hop on we gonna get yo dragon, yes girl. Honestly them going into the hidden world on Stormfly? I mean need i say anything about the animation in this scene? The visuals were just breath taking, I cannot put it into words. Tootheless being the alpha is always a win, also Astrid calling him a king and Hiccup realizing that this beautiful place of dragons, is not place for humans, because Valka said it best, greedy humans ruin everything.

Hiccup and Astrid getting caught by a dragon and then going on a fun slide ride, and of course toothless comes through as the alpha to protect his humans, ALSO STORMFLY DONT THINK I FORGOT ABOUT HER, CUZ YES. I mean just like toothless Stormyfly will protect her human best friend, and I love her. 

How did I forget the next raid scene? I mean dang again the visuals and the lighting were just so spot on. Them all getting trapped? Valka being a badass and working with Cloudjumper to save them? Hiccup jumping and just escaping the clutches of Grimmels dragon? RUFFNUT

Ruffnut my girl dont think I forgot about you, I just I dont even know what to do with you. She was amazing, I mean shes just does not care, not scared that shes a prisoner, she fricking just talks about how ‘hot’ she is and just other random stuff about her life, like girl give me that confidence. But when she talked about the island i was like girl no dont do that, but her flying back and saying she doenst look back in response to being asked about being followed was pretty darn funny.

Bro the scene of the light fury and toothless getting captured? Toothless protecting her and telling the other dragons to stand down, at least until they can escape. Just heart breaking, help is so close, but I guess thats the downside of being the alpha, having that power can be used against you.

Astrid my girl, pep talking my boy Hiccup JUST LIKE THE FIRST MOVIE. And yes parallels again, just like in the first one Astrid said things to hiccup, she was very honest with him pointing out the things that had done wrong, the first pointing out how messy the situation got because of the lies, and in this movie pointing out how he constantly doubts himself, and in both Hiccup has a sassy comment regarding her pep talks, but Astrid always follows up with the good, like how he was the first viking to ride a dragon or how he was always brave, even without toothless, showing how she would always be by his side to support him and help him, especially when hes about to do something stupid. I just ugg they are couple goals, they dont even need to say I love you because they SHOW IT in their actions, in their support for eachother, their cute banters, and I am here for it. ALSO I MEAN HE KISSED HER HAIR EARLY AND THEN HER FOREHEAD THOSE ARE SO CUTE TO ME AND JUST SO NATURAL FOR THEM AHHH. Also “so what are you gunna do about it” “probably something stupid” YES YES YES I AM HERE FOR THAT SHIT

Everyone jumping off the island so they can ‘fly’ on their own, just first off so visually amazing, and second off so symbolic to me of each of them spreading their own wings and growing up into amazing people. 

Fishlegs and his baby dragon, I mean come on lets be real that shit is adorable, and baby dragon had his big dragon (does that dragon have a class name? because I dont remember it) friend and Fishlegs be like dont mess with baby dragon. 

Yooo I knew it, from the trailer I was like “Tuffnut is probs pissed that this dude cut off his hair beard” and boom it happned, but rip hair beard (until the end of the movie that is when it comes back)

Yall that unspoken scene where Hiccup and Astrid are just frickin shit up WHILE THEY JUST LOOK AT EACHOTHER, I MEAN HICCUP JUST CASUALLY THROWS SHIT TO START A FIRE AND THE ENTIRE TIME THEY ARE STARING AT EACHOTHER HAVE A CONVERSATION COMPLETELY WITH THEIR EYES LIKE THAT IS SOME NEXT LEVEL SHIT AND COUPLE GOALS.

I got such satisfaction out of Toothless destroying grimmels arrow shoter thing and watching as Grimmel started to get afraid, I mean this dude was so confident in his abilites, and up until now he has had the upper hand, but then you can see the “oh shit moment” as he realizes he is starting to lose and heck yea im here for it. Speaking of oh shit moments, when hiccup was riding toothless and they wer getting attacked? and then toothless is like “I SUMMON YOU THOR AND YOUR LIGHTING” and hiccup was like WTH?!!??!?!?

Ok yall that scene when toothless got shot, and hiccup is hanging from the light fury with grimmel on his leg? I mean Grimmel really thought that he had won, he underestimated the love Hiccup has for Toothless, and the moment that Hiccup told the light fury to save Toothless and he let go? the hesitation she had trying to pick who to save? her new mate, or his best friend that she now seems to understand has a great important meaning to toothless? The image of Hiccup falling, and the camera angle? I mean seeing him fall from above, seeing it in his face that he was content, content knowing that his best friend would be alive and safe and that Grimmel would no longer be able to hurt the dragons or his people? Such a self sacrifice, a true Chief just like his father. 

Then the light fury to the rescue! Hiccup being like LOL BYE GRIMMLE YOU DEAD. Also reminded me of when he started to ride toothless back in the first movie and they fell and hiccup got back on his back and in control just in time, because dang she saved him his butt just before he hit the water. But seriously I loved this scene, she went back for hiccup, she saw the interactions Toothless had with him, how Toothless protected him and Astrid in the hidden world, how Toothless CHOSE HICCUP when he saw him in danger in the hidden world, she came to realize that this boy is important to Toothless, and she saw that Hiccup was willing to die for Toothless, and she went back and saved him, and God I got emotional.

Also Hiccup leaning on Astrid because he has lost his prostectic leg, yessss im here for it

NOW TO THE REAL TEAR JERKER I mean gosh you could just see the realization again in Hiccup that the dragons didnt belong with them on Berk, that even though they love the dragons and the dragons love them, even though they have worked together for years and they want to live together in peace they just cant do it safely.There are too many people out in the world who would attack berk, and we have seen that both in the movies and the show, and that puts both the people and the dragons at risk. 

It was safest for everyone if the dragons went to the hidden world, where no one could find them, well expect Hiccup and Astrid who have been there once. I just cant though, that scene was just so amazing and heart crushing. I mean you can see it that Toothless doesnt want to leave his best friend, and Hiccup doenst want him to leave, but he reassures him that its ok that its best for everyone and that its time to say good bye for now, not forever though. Then oh God how Astrid follows him, because she knows hes right too, she knows that they can no longer live with their dragons safely, and she takes off Stormflys saddle and says good bye to her best friend. THEN VALKA who has lived with the dragons for 20 years, she knows too and she doenst hesitate to let Cloudjumper go free, and it made so much sense to me that she was so willing to do so even after being together for 20 years, she has protected them for 20 years so there is no doubt in my mind that Valka would do this without a second though if it meant that was the best thing for her friend. THEN OMG EVERYONE ELSE FOLLOWS THAT JUST HURT SO MUCH. I mean ever single Berkian seens what Hiccup did, and everyone knows they have a special bond, I mean they all have a special bond with their dragons, but Hiccup and Toothless are different, they were the only pair that we know of that needed each other to fly, I mean sure the other vikings needed their dragons to fly but their dragons didnt need them to fly, toothless relied on hiccup to control his tail and that bond is so special. Anyway, I just thought that all the others saw Hiccup doing this, and hes their Chief the man who started the whole riding dragons for them, so I have no doubt in my mind that they would follow his lead, and again to me they see Hiccup and Toothless doing this letting go, so they must think “If these two can do it so can I”. I just really think it shows how much the vikings truly care for their dragon friends, when you love someone you want the best for them, you want them to be happy, even if that means you need to say goodbye. And thats what happened here the vikings loved their dragons so much that they were willing to say goodbye to their friends if it meant that they would be save, and the same goes in the other direction, the dragons are not dumb and I believe they knew that leaving is what was best too, that leaving meant that their viking friends would be safer. The love they all have for each other is so amazing. I only wish that the goodbye was long, I am so bad at goodbyes and omg I just wish they had a longer time to say goodbye, not only to their dragons but to the others as well, I mean toothless saying goodbye to Astrid and Stormfly too Hiccup? uG I SUCK AT GOOD BYWS OK I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO BE ABLE TO SAY GOOD BYE TO ALL THE DRAGONS.

But man i said to myself ‘you can do it dont cry’ didnt work, I sobbed, legit sobbed, and it wasnt my normal movie cry were its just tears, it was the kind where you can feel the pain in your chest from your heart beating to hard, from trying to hold back the chocked sobs so no one else would  get annoyed, although lets be real they are did the same thing so we all cried.  Seeing them all fly off, AND THE REVERSE HAND TOUCH I CANNOT, THAT REALLY HURT I JUST COULDNT TAKE IT THE PARALLELS REALLY KILLED ME THE ENTIR MOVIE. Then Toothlesses look back at Hiccup, and then the long shot and seeing the massive wave of dragons, and then seening toothless following from the back as he is the last to leave, the vikings looking on with sadness and fondness for their dragons, really did come for my heart.

NOW ONTO HAPPY TIMES. the Wedding, oh my god, how lucky can a girl be? I got to see the mother of all my OTPs get married, and dang they were beautiful, and they looked so happy, it just warmed my heart to know that these two dorks who truly have a special relationship finally got married. Then Gobber called them Chief and Chiefstriss and wow really hit me hard that these two were going to lead Berk together, because they are always there to support each other. THEN that kiss so cute, and how Hiccup goes to gently cup her face with his hands, just wow my otp is the best.

Then we again have love master Tuffnut who will take Snotlout as his new student, and FISHLEGS HAS A LITTLE BABY GRUNKLE STUFFED ANIMAL IN HIS BAG. aND RUFF being like “you win i love sensitive guys” Then we have Hiccup and Astrid looking out to the sea as their friends and family come together with them, and Astrid lays her head on his shoulder so great.

Now dang my boy HICCUP WITH A BEARD??? BEARDCUP IS REAL, and he is wearing his fur cap, and Astrid looking like a frickin QUEEN, and AGAIN HOW LUCKY CAN A GIRL BE I SEE A WEDDING AND I GET CHILDREN????? MY OTP HAS TWO CHILDREN???? AND THEY ARE GORGEOUS.

buT DANG when they saw Toothless through the fog and then the light fury and then the little baby heads pop up, and you can see how happy Hiccup is. But Toothless doenst immediatly recognize him, which makes sense because I mean 10 year for humans can change the looks drastically, and hiccup has a beard now so he doenst look like what toothless remembered, plus hes the alpha and must protect his family. Astrid protecting her children like a frickin badass mom, and Zephry hidding behind her mom and Nuffink going into her chest? Ug love it, they trust their mom to protec them, and I love this to because it really shows that they are children, I mean I have no doubt that Astrid and Hiccup are going to raise them to be brave, I mean its Hiccup and Astrid, but they are still children and well they have grown in a world without dragons, different than their parents, we know at that age Astrid was fearless, I mean she wanted to fight a flightmare, but now the world has changed and they arent at war and they can raise their kids as kids, and I love that they showed that fear in the children it just gave a sense of realism to me. 

Then HIccup DID THE THING with the hand and Toothless finally was like “WAIT THIS IS MY HUMAN” and his eyes went big and omg how he attacked him with kisses and licks. Then Astrids laugh to see them reunite, and them urging their kids that it was ok, and remember before when I said they would raise brave kids? Well this little cuties were afraid, but they still listened and trusted their parents, and omg Zephry was so stiff from fear and her face, and Nuffink was hiding his face, but Hiccup came and showed them how to approach Toothless, and wow here we go again with the hand touch and HIccup telling them to let him come to them, and Toothless did the thing AND OMG THEIR REACTION WAS SO CUTE. The way Zephry cocked her head and smiled, and how Nuffink dropped his hand from his face and his mouth widened in awe of his dragon. 

THEN I GET TO SEE HICCUP WITH HIS SON RIDING TOOHTLESS? AND HIS SOON IS JUST MAKING THE CUTEST LITTLE WAVING MOTIONS WITH HIS HANDS. And hiccup throwing his kid in the air as he giggles in delight, and I swear I heard him say “Dada” and it killed me. Then Astrid being Astrid flys right passed them ON STORMFLY, like thank you for not forgetting about my girl, because she loves Stormfly and Stormfly loves her and seeing Astrid ride her with her daughter just made the scene even better. They could have easily forgotten about my girl, but they didnt, they didnt do her dirty, I may not have gotten to see the moment when she and Stormfly met again, BUT I SAW THEY RIDING TOGETHER AND THATS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

Oh yea bonus points for seeing the light fury and the babies flying with them. Then Hiccup just flys upside down dropping Nuffink on Astrids head, and ug the way he just casually clings to his mother, then I was like wow I hope Zephry gets to ride Toothless with he father, AND THEN HE PULLED UP NEXT TO THEM AND HELD OUT HIS HAND TO DO JUST THAT, dreamworks you really came through for me, thank you so much for allowing Dead and all the other hard workers of this franchise make this amazing world for us. It tore my heart apart, but I loved every second of it, and I have no regrets, it was honestly a great ending,no matter how badly it hurt and how badly I wanted them to live together forever, it was just the perfect ending with a great lesson about letting go and moving on, becoming your own person, and being happy with the memories you had, because being able to say you loved something or someone and letting them go is better than never loving them at all, thats what happend to the vikings and dragons, and thats what happened to me personally at the end of it all. I cant wait to relive the magic and watch all the movies again. 

oh how could I forget? The end credits, you thought the pain ended with the end of the movie nope the credits are going to give you every major scene from each movie, reminding us where we started and where we have come to, and that was just the cherry on top of it all. 

Also side note a girl sat behind me and she goes “is that a toothless plushie?” and yes it was so she asked to see it so i handed him to her and we started talking about the movie, she was able to see it during an early release boo i had work. Anyway she asks me how old i was when the first came out, and I said 16, she seemed shook and i asked her the same, she said she was 5, so if math does me right she would be about 14/15. I was older than she is currently is when the first movie came out, thats wild. Then i laughed off the age difference saying “you would never know ill be 25 in a week”, and her (i assume) mom said I looked young haha. But because of the age difference I gave her some good life advice, I told her not to care about what others think of you, Im almost 25 crying over a dragon movie that means the world to me as i sit with my dragon plushie, and her mom just agreed with me and told her to listen to me because I knew what I was saying haha. Shout out to this girl too because shes the one who told me that Hiccup and Astrids’s kids had cannon names, I had been avoiding everything I could about this movie so I was glad to be up to date on that.

Wow this took me like 2 hours to write i think? I mean yea it was mostly for me to read later in life so I can remember this day, all the photos i took before hand, and all the excitement I had, wow Hi future me! Sorry about all the grammar mistakes but Im just typing as the thoughts come, hope I didnt break your heart again as you read all this. Until next time