#which i know is also because its winter which makes it so much worse + seasonal depression

[infiniteglitterfall]

my all-time favorite Palestinian activist

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"I think [reaching Greece in an overcrowded boat no one knew how to drive] was one of the happiest moments in my life, because I survived. And I stayed in Greece -- and I was supposed to stay there to apply for my asylum and get my life there.

"Unfortunately, with the atrocities of October the 7th and my activism, the threats I received when I was in Greece by some radical pro-Palestinian folks, I decided to leave.

"And based on a friend's recommendation, I decided to go to Germany because it's somehow considered safer than the other European countries and there is somehow enough space for a free speech here."

"Voicing dissent [in Gaza] was not an option. Hamas has a no tolerance policy for criticism or objections to any of its policies. Even discussion is forbidden.

"Any journalist who objects or criticizes a policy is suspended and investigated. Demonstrations are strictly prohibited. Freedom of speech in Gaza is a fantasy.

"The dirtiest tool Hamas uses to silence citizens is character assassination through online campaigns accusing dissenters of working for hostile bodies or committing immoral acts.

"Hamas also routinely breaks into the homes of people deemed disloyal and humiliates them in front of their family and neighbors.

"...A huge social gap opened between the wealthy elite who belong to Hamas and the rest of the population who were increasingly living in driving poverty. Public sector jobs were limited to Hamas members, and taxes were increasing on necessities day by day, even as the cost of living skyrocketed.

"Many of us could no longer bear it. I was one of them.

"Though we knew dissenters were subject to imprisonment, torture, and even murder, in 2019, a few of us decided to join forces and form a protest to voice our opposition to Hamas. We called it the 'We Want to Live' demonstration.

"Our demonstration elicited an extreme reaction by Hamas. They violently cracked down on the protests and we were all arrested.

"I will never forget my first day in jail—walking up the steps listening to screams of my colleagues, most of them fellow students, who had been arrested before me. I was held under arrest for 21 days and subjected to various types of torture. I was beaten with batons and sprayed with cold water in the late winter night hours.

"My friends didn't fare much better. A Christian friend was in the next cell and I could hear them screaming at him, 'You are a Christian and you don't like the situation? Then go to another country!'

"After we were released, most of those who participated in the demonstrations emigrated away from Gaza. There was no hope for any change in the current situation. We suffered ongoing harassment by Hamas members.

"Some died trying to leave, like Tamer Al-Sultan, a pharmacist whose crime was asking for a reconciliation between Hamas and Fatah. [The political party of the Palestinian president, which Hamas violently kicked out of Gaza in a 2007 coup.]

"People's living conditions got worse. The wealth gap expanded even further. We protested again in 2023 and were crushed in the same manner as in 2019.

"I was arrested again by Hamas last year and held for 14 days, this time in a small cell with no bed, no window, and barely enough space to sit down. I was released on bail on the condition that I not take part in any further demonstrations.

"I still expressed my opinion occasionally on social media, but the arrest warrants after each post and the continuous threats from Hamas members and accusations of treason made me lose hope that I could make any kind of change.

"I left Gaza in August [2023] to seek a better future for myself and my family."

"I know firsthand that when ordinary Gazans like myself protested against Hamas, there was no media attention.

"No human rights organizations demanded the release of prisoners held for months in Hamas prisons, not to mention those who were tortured by Hamas, and even killed by Hamas—like Issam Al-Saaffein, who was killed under torture in Hamas's jails.

"This trend has continued during the present war. Since October 7, hundreds of Gazans have been killed by Hamas' failing rockets. Hamas has confiscated the food, fuel, and medicine sent to Gaza, and they did not stop here.

"13-year-old Ahmad Breka was shot in the head by Hamas in Rafah while attempting to collect humanitarian aid. Others were fortunate because they were merely shot in the legs by Hamas while attempting to grab humanitarian goods that Hamas stole and kept in their facilities.

"These inhumane acts, along with the agony that Gazans have undergone since October, prompted many to demonstrate anew during this war. They demonstrated in Khan-Younis in front of Yahya Sinwar's house; others protested in the north, asking that Hamas free the captives and cease the war.

"They received the same response from Hamas that I did: They were fired upon.

"And once again, the global media largely overlooked these crimes.

"Daring to take some food in the midst of a war or protesting Hamas isn't the only activity Hamas has persecuted us Gazans for; attempting to play any part of delivering this aid to those in need, or even considering playing any role the day after the war, is enough to get anybody the death penalty from Hamas.

"That's what happened to the Abu-Amro tribe leader, along with two members of his tribe who were killed by Hamas militants a few days ago.

"A couple of months ago, they beheaded the head of a clan leader in the north of Gaza and issued a statement on social media: 'We murdered him, and we will do so to anyone who stands against us and cooperates with Israel.'

"Others who publicly criticized Hamas during the war were reported missing."

[delulusionwl]

♡ I Can't Keep You Off My Diary ─ pt i

♡ I Can't Keep You Off My Diary ─ pt iI Pairing ── Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Reader! | Apollo!Daughter Word ── 2k Synopsis ── In wich Clarisse see drawings of herself in reader's diary. Warnings ── Nothing much? (I hope), Clarisse and her group being annoying as usual, Reader being the target of their teasing? A bit of low self-steem? Insults of reader's apparence? (nothing related by weight, height or strong facial features or body limbs) Please help me with this, I'm new lol A/n ── English is not my native language, forgive any mistakes! Please alert me if any of the nicknames might be offensive to any racial group. I would hate for that to happen, and it’s not my intention. However, since my native language is not English, some of the nicknames may not have racial connotations in my language – which might happen in English. I appreciate your help with this! Please, let me know if it's good hehe :) Part ii has been released, go check it out! *Images are not mine, so credit goes to the respective owners

Y/n wasn’t like any other child of Apollo. She stood out from the more predominant characteristics of all her siblings. The truth was that she often felt like an ugly duckling, with no hope of turning into a beautiful swan.

Amidst her siblings—blond, red-haired, or light-brown, with eyes ranging from honey to the brightest green—Y/n stood out, but not because she radiated more light than the others. Her beauty was cold. While the others resembled a beautiful morning sunbeam, Y/n kept her rays hidden behind layers of clouds—enough to light the day, but not enough to make it vibrant.

Her dark eyes and hair, along with her lightly tanned skin—barely touched by the sun—set her apart from the other children of Apollo, who seemed to be lovingly kissed by sunlight, vibrant, vivid, golden. These features enhanced Y/n’s cold beauty, making her impossible to go unnoticed. Some even claimed she couldn’t be a child of Apollo if the god himself hadn’t claimed her.

Despite her strong and contrasting characteristics in her cabin, Y/n’s abilities proved her to be a legitimate child of the sun god. In training and combat, her bow was her strongest point, always hitting its mark regardless of whether the target was stationary or in motion. She was also a good healer, like most of her siblings, and helped in the infirmary during tough times—especially after Capture the Flag.

What truly made her stand out, however, were her artistic talents: writing, singing, and drawing. Y/n excelled at everything related to art but insisted on keeping it to herself, even among her talented siblings. This was another distinctive trait: unlike most children of Apollo, she wasn’t a social butterfly. She didn’t flaunt her talents or surround herself with friends like her siblings. Y/n was more introspective but could be a great friend when she wanted to.

Y/n’s cold beauty set her apart from all the other children of Apollo. She didn’t go unnoticed—least of all by Clarisse.

The daughter of Ares had seen Y/n’s arrival at camp, skittish like a scalded black cat. Like everyone else at camp, Clarisse had initially thought, So Hades had a daughter? But the truth came out shortly after the rumors spread. Y/n was a daughter of the sun.

Clarisse, already a standout in her cabin, with her group well-established, “welcomed” the new daughter of Apollo to camp. From then on, whenever Clarisse saw Y/n, it was impossible not to make jokes about her appearance.

“Oh my gods, are you sure you’re Apollo’s kid?”

“If the sun had a cold, dull version, that’d be you.”

“Hey, Winter Apollo, ready to brighten our day? On second thought, don’t—the day might get even worse.”

“I always thought Apollo’s kids were lively and full of energy. But you? You seem to be on night mode all the time.”

Many such remarks were made by Clarisse and her group over the years. Sometimes, Y/n even laughed along—not to appease the children of Ares or ingratiate herself, but because the jokes were genuinely creative. The first time Y/n laughed, it only fueled sharper, slightly more biting remarks.

Clarisse vividly remembered the day. The sun was setting, giving way to night, and Y/n was returning to her cabin after a long day helping in the infirmary. Clarisse and her group were heading to their own cabin, inevitably crossing paths with Y/n.

Y/n looked at the group ahead, her expression neutral. As she moved to step aside and let them pass—hopefully without interaction—she was stopped.

“Well, well, the daughter of Apollo. If that’s really who you are. What’s this? Stole the essence of the sun but forgot to bring it to camp?” Clarisse teased, stopping briefly in her path, scanning Y/n from head to toe with an amused grin as her siblings laughed at her comment.

To the children of Ares’ surprise—especially Clarisse’s—Y/n let out a small laugh. The sound echoed in Clarisse’s ears, her eyes locked onto Y/n. “There’s the glow,” Clarisse thought, captivated by Y/n’s smile.

When Clarisse finally shook off the thoughts and the sound of Y/n’s laugh, her siblings were already piling on more jokes, sharper than before. She quickly snapped back to the present, slipping her hands into her pockets.

“Gods, with the way you are, Apollo might be rethinking his parenthood,” one of Clarisse’s brothers said, gesturing dismissively toward Y/n. This time, the comment didn’t amuse her as much, though the other children of Ares—Clarisse excluded—found it funny.

“Come on, leave our little sunblocked alone. Or she might start crying,” Clarisse said with a playful grin, eliciting more laughter from her brothers as they moved on toward their cabin.

As they walked away, Clarisse’s gaze briefly returned to Y/n, who took a deep breath and resumed her own path, glancing back at the Ares group and briefly meeting Clarisse’s eyes.

From that point on, Y/n wasn’t often seen near the Ares children. Camp was full of demigods, and Y/n would inevitably cross paths with others—or so Clarisse thought. But Y/n mainly appeared in training, the dining pavilion, occasionally in the infirmary, and during Capture the Flag.

Wherever Y/n was, if Clarisse was nearby, her eyes seemed magnetically drawn to the daughter of Apollo. Whether it was a crowded space or an open field, Clarisse couldn’t help but look, even if just for a few moments.

The first time Clarisse’s eyes were locked for more than a few seconds and she couldn’t look away from Y/n was in the dining hall at night, where the daughter of Apollo was talking with her siblings, wearing a beautiful smile and laughing softly with them.

The embers of the flames from the dining hall’s pyre made her dark hair shimmer with red and golden highlights, and her skin reflected the flames almost like a mirror, becoming subtly flushed from the heat and glow of the firelight. Her dark eyes and a smile just a bit wider than usual seemed to brighten the surroundings. Clarisse swallowed hard upon noticing all this and forced her attention back to her own group.

The daughter of Ares tried not to think about the daughter of Apollo over the years, but Y/n had already carved out a place in Clarisse’s curly-haired head. So, every time she spotted Y/n from a distance, Clarisse allowed herself a few seconds to look at her, just enough to take her in, before quickly turning her attention back to her group, pushing thoughts of the daughter of Apollo away.

Those thoughts, however, were about how Clarisse would like to see Y/n more often, how she hoped to talk to her more often... maybe without the sarcastic remarks. But Clarisse’s brain had already made a list of jokes, each one less rude and intimidating than the last, but a little funnier, unconsciously hoping to make Y/n laugh at one of them again.

Until one day, Clarisse, accompanied by two of her group members, was on her way to Hephaestus’s forge. Alec, one of Clarisse’s brothers, had left his sword there to refine its blade since the Capture-the-Flag game was at the end of the month. As they walked across the open lawn where a path led to the forge, Clarisse’s eyes fell on someone sitting in the grass with a notebook and pencil in hand, facing a bird perched on a rock.

The daughter of Ares chuckled through her nose, catching the attention of her brothers, who were casually chatting about a few strategies and how they hoped to defeat the children of Athena in the upcoming Capture-the-Flag. Alec and Darius smiled, amused, as they followed Clarisse across the lawn.

“Look at that, it’s ‘Apollo on mute,’” Clarisse said as they got close enough, causing the bird on the rock to quickly fly away and Y/n to look up at her, squinting slightly against the brightness of the day. Alec and Darius’s laughter was audible. Clarisse glanced at the open notebook in Y/n’s hands, which contained a few sketches: on one page was the landscape of the field, and on the other, the startled bird. “What do we have here?” Clarisse said, snatching the notebook from the other girl, who jumped up immediately.

“Clarisse, give it back!” Y/n said loudly, nervous, stepping closer, but Alec and Darius were quicker, positioning themselves in front of her to prevent her from reaching Clarisse, who held the notebook in her hands.

"Ah, what’s the matter?" Clarisse said with an amused laugh, and Y/n looked at her nervously, casting the same uneasy glances at Alec and Darius, who were thoroughly enjoying the daughter of Apollo’s reaction. "You’re not half bad at drawing, Ray-less." The daughter of Ares turned her attention back to the notebook, flipping a page and finding a drawing of a rose with many thorns curling across both sheets, along with some scattered phrases, some in Ancient Greek and others in English. Fragments of what seemed to be thoughts. "Oh... look what we have here... is this a diary?" Clarisse said, laughing, as she turned another page to see what else was inside.

"Clarisse, this isn’t funny. Give it back. Now!" Y/n said in a louder tone, reaching her hand out quickly, demanding that the daughter of Ares return her notebook.

"Chill, girl," Clarisse said nonchalantly, looking at the page she had turned to. "Why the rush, Y/n? Did you write down who your crush is in here?" The daughter of Ares laughed, and that was enough for Y/n to try pushing past Alec and Darius, who were standing right in front of her, to snatch the notebook from Clarisse herself.

"Hold it, overcast sky," Alec said with a sarcastic smirk, stopping Y/n from getting any closer.

"Clarisse!" Y/n called out loudly, her eyes fixed on the girl, who had just flipped another page in the notebook.

As soon as Y/n saw Clarisse’s eyes widen slightly and her lips part softly, her heart skipped a beat, and she swallowed hard. "Shit." The daughter of Apollo thought, swallowing again.

"C-Clarisse. Give it back!" Y/n pleaded, her voice trembling, her face starting to turn red, but Clarisse’s eyes remained fixed on the notebook as she turned more pages.

The daughter of Ares’s brothers grew curious, and that was enough for them to move closer to their sister, one on each shoulder, peering at the pages in the hands of a practically frozen Clarisse.

"IT’S YOU!" Darius shouted in delight, and Alec burst into laughter while the two girls stood there, almost like statues.

Some drawings were heroic, worthy of one of those paintings of the Greek gods: Clarisse with her spear, battle clothes, hair and parts of her attire flowing in the wind, claiming her victory over faceless enemy bodies. Clarisse shouting and warring, accompanied by her own army of faceless people.

Other drawings? Something simpler, calm… gentle, perhaps a side of Clarisse she didn’t let many see: Clarisse smiling with her siblings—not a sarcastic or amused smile, the one she always gives after tormenting another poor soul at camp. No, not that one. It was an open, carefree, and relaxed smile. Clarisse with her piercing eyes and long lashes, looking straight at whoever's eyes were on the page. Clarisse with a small smile, just like she had during one of the past campfires, except this time with a flower in her hair. A real flower, pressed between the pages of the same drawing.

Y/n cleared her throat while Alec and Darius laughed beside a frozen Clarisse, who was staring at the drawings.

"Had your fun?" Y/n said, steadying the tremble in her voice, stepping forward and snatching her notebook back quickly. She closed it and started walking back to her cabin. Even though Y/n tried to appear unshaken, the undertone of her voice betrayed her mortification.

Clarisse finally snapped out of it when she heard the firm steps on the dirt fading away. She turned, watching Y/n moving away as fast as she could, while her brothers still laughed beside her.

"Wow, she did more than just write down who her crush was," Alec said, chuckling.

"Congrats, Clarisse, you’ve got yourself a fan," Darius said, laughing even harder, leaning on his sister’s shoulder.

Clarisse brushed Darius’s hand off her, and although her face was flushed, her brows were furrowed, and the glare she shot Darius was far from friendly.

"Shut up, idiot," Clarisse snapped at Darius, irritated, shoving him hard enough to send him to the ground. When she turned to Alec with the same fiery glare, he shut his lips and raised his hands, trying to compose himself. "I swear to the gods," the daughter of Ares muttered angrily, trying to pull herself together.

"Just one question..." Darius said as he got up, catching his breath. "Why’s your face so red?" He smirked, teasing his sister, while Alec struggled not to laugh.

"It’s the sun, idiot." Clarisse said curtly, blaming something else as she started walking again toward Hephaestus's forge, refusing to think about what had just happened.

Alec and Darius followed a few steps behind her, stifling their laughter, while Clarisse stomped forward, determined to keep her thoughts far from Y/n’s notebook. Far from Y/n.

"'Apollo on mute' has her glow," Alec whispered to Darius, who stifled another laugh as they trailed behind Clarisse. "Clari, wait up!" Alec called out, still laughing.

Part 2 >

[sscieloz]

Alcohol teacher

Kim Minjeong x Yu Jimin

Synopsis: “My face immediately turned red, but I wasn’t drunk, though. I also had my first soju with Jimin unnie, my alcohol teacher.” — Kim Minjeong.

Warnings: dom!karina x sub!winter. you know the deal babes, lots of plot with a little smut in it. drinking, nsfw, drunk (public?) sex.

Word count: 2k

Notes: I’ve never had soju in my life. enjoy ˆˆ n gimme feedback we barely talk anymore :(

“You look too skilled doing this.” Minjeong says, watching quietly as Karina pours a small amount of liquid into two shot glasses. It doesn’t seem like much, which leaves Minjeong annoyed. She doesn’t want Karina going easy on her, even if it is indeed her first time drinking.

Her judgmental look is no strange thing to Jimin, who merely shrugs and continues her task. She smiles at Minjeong once she’s done, nose scrunching with how much she’s enjoying the situation. When Winter had gone to her and mentioned she wanted to have a night out for drinks, so she’d try them out for the first time, Karina felt like she was in heaven. The first thing she did once she woke up was to book reservations, so the whole bar would be left alone for them— this way, Minjeong would be the most comfortable to experience the drinks, and no crazy fan would bash them for being grown women drinking.

“So,” She begins her explanation, ignoring the younger girl’s irritated tone. “We’ll start simple. Here, there’s vodka. We’ll drink it all at once: it’s as easy as that.” Bringing her cup near her mouth, Karina gestures for Minjeong to do the same. Which she does, after eyeing the raven-haired girl suspiciously. “On three, ok? One, two…”

Karina’s hands gently hover over Minjeong’s chin, turning the cup upwards so the liquid flows over Winter’s throat. Karina’s fingers linger even after the cup is left empty, her touch igniting the younger girl’s skin.

Vodka burns— it tastes like fire, washing through your cells until it hits your esophagus and threatens to back its way back, clearly not welcomed. It’s an unpleasant sensation, to say the least.

Yet, the only feeling Minjeong’s brain acknowledges are Karina’s delicate hands, now tracing her collarbone. She decides, then, that her bandmate’s touches are worse than a thousand vodka doses.

“So? What’d you think?” Karina asks, eager to know Minjeong’s opinion. She bounces like a puppy, moving as much as the booth they’re seated at allows her to.

Minjeong nods, running her hands through her face to spread the flush that lingers stubbornly on her cheeks. She feels on fire; distracted, which is unlike herself. When asking Karina for guidance on learning how to drink, her intentions were nothing but serious. She has never not been the best at something, so she fully intended to be a great drinker. By that, she intended on inspecting each liquor religiously, taking mental notes and rankings over each one, so she’d know exactly which ones to make conversations about or to order at award-shows and after parties.

Her plan, now, was ruined by a tall, black-haired girl with smokey eyes and bubbly lips.

“It was ok.” Minjeong answers, smiling a little at Jimin. Despite her internal irritation, Jimin was the one to pull her back to reality, making sure she didn’t overwork herself—or just reminding Minjeong to not take things too seriously, overall. She was not entitled to be bratty and corrupt the bubbly girl. She wouldn’t.

“You’re a tough one, Minjeong-ah.” Karina says, placing two soju bottles in front of her, then. “Luckily, that was only our warm-up. The real fun starts now!”

Minjeong stares at the Blueberry and Mango Soju bottles with an uncertain gaze. Karina had let her choose, even though Minjeong could sense her getting impatient every passing second. And, because she loved to tease Karina as much as the girl enjoyed to tease her back, Minjeong picked the blueberry-flavored bottle right before Karina’s quick fingers could reach out for them.

“You’re so mean, Minjeongie.” Karina whines, resting her back in the padded seat. The younger one laughs, then, pleased to have gotten into Karina’s nerves.

“Should we eat?” Minjeong asks, as the food is placed in front of them. Karina only nods, biased as she is, opening both bottles before setting up portions for her and Minjeong.

So they drink, eat, and laugh, talking about idol life and all the gossip they hear or notice around. In a blink, their plates are empty, the soju bottles are nearly dry and their throats, raw from rambling too much. Karina orders more food, and opens new bottles— Minjeong is a strong drinker, she commented. A professional, even though it’s her first time, as it goes with everything the auburn haired girl proposes herself to do.

Minjeong has never felt better in her life. It’s as though she’s walking through clouds, lightheaded and unable to hide her loud, careless laughter. Needles prickle her skin, which makes herself grow restless. It’s the reason she stands, after a while, simply unable to keep in place.

“Minjeong-ah? What are you doing?” Karina asks, confused to see the girl walking the short way towards her seat. Her balance is not at all the resemblance of the Minjeong she usually knows; calm, collected, sweet Minjeong. No, Karina doesn’t know this daring, careless girl who is struggling to walk a straight line and launches herself into the older girl’s lap, red curls tingling in her neck.

She loves it, though.

“I don’t want that seat anymore.” She pouts. Minjeong’s eyes are stargazed, but Karina is surprised to not find them glassy or unfocused, as she stares right into the girl’s dark orbs. If anything, they’re attentive — hungry, even though they had just eaten. “Yours is much more comfortable and cozy… Change seats with me, Jimin unnie.”

Karina’s arms wrap around Minjeong’s petite frame instinctively. Her finger’s tease her collarbone once again, while her other hand scratches the skin showing between the younger girl’s crop top and skirt.

Karina laughs. “You need to get up, then, Minjeongie.”

The girl bluntly ignores her, too deep in her thoughts to listen to her unnie.

“You’re so beautiful, unnie…” Minjeong’s whisper is followed by her hands, both gripping Karina’s face rather delicately. Her touch is tender, much different from the way she squirms, pressing herself against the oldest’s thighs. “I’ve always wondered what your lips tasted like…”

Without a warning, Minjeong presses her lips against Karina’s, not a clear thought going through her head. She’s met with a closed mouth, at first — Karina’s too surprised, frozen in position to do anything, but slowly, the oldest finds herself relaxing against Minjeong’s warmth, pulling her in. Their kiss, ever so sweet, suddenly gets impatient, as they lose themselves in savoring each other.

Minjeong already feels as if she’s going to explode: her insides burn and she feels so needy it hurts. She’s aching, humping Karina’s lap like a dumb puppy. Not only the alcohol, she’s drunk with desire, too, she quickly realizes. Drunk with Karina’s sweet taste, and now so empty— without Karina touching her where she needs it the most.

She’s aching, all hot, bothered, and so impatient. It’s the reason she is so loud— or so she likes to tell herself, as an excuse, allowing Karina to grab her neck and guide her head upwards, sucking and nibbling Minjeong’s skin with her teeth as she pleases.

“You’re such a doll, Minjeongie.” Karina praises, but her words do nothing to please the girl. They only make her even more annoyed, borderline desperate.

“Unnie,” She whines, eyes half closed as her body intensifies every sensation possible, focused on driving her to madness. “Give me, now.”

Karina stops herself, too delighted to have Minjeong so desperate and pliable in her arms. How many times had she gotten herself off with the thought of Minjeong’s moans, and now she had them all for herself? It was a dream come true, and she’d enjoy every moment of it. Her fingers stop toying with the hem of the younger girls’ skirt, now far away from her thighs. It makes Minjeong scoff, annoyed.

“Give you what, Minjeongie?” Karina asks, her tone as innocent as she manages it to be, lying on her seat once again.

Minjeong pouts, now having her movements guided by Karina’s hands, gripping her hips and forcing her to a faster pace.

“W-whatever you want.” She manages to say, breathless, as she humps Karina’s thigh. “Just do it now, please.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” Karina’s eyes never leave Minjeong’s face, with the intent of memorizing the moment forever.

The older girl’s mouth lowers, tracing wet kisses until she reaches for the hems of Minjeong’s top, watching them fall freely until the girl’s pink, rosy nipples are exposed to Jimin. Minjeong recoils, shivering due to the sudden decline of temperature. Before she can cover herself, Jimin’s mouth is on her nipple, suckling and nibbling as she gropes the other one, pinching and twisting. Her tongue traces circles around Minjeong’s skin, and she’s absolutely delighted about how responsive the girl is, squirming and trying to run from Karina’s warm, wet mouth. It makes her leave a trail of saliva down her chest, making a mess of the so-collected Kim Minjeong.

She feels Karina everywhere: from her mouth, so inviting, sure of what she’s doing and aware of how desperate she’s making Minjeong be, to her hands, now pulling Minjeong’s panties aside, so her fingers can finally meet her folds. Minjeong is drenched, Karina feels it as two of her fingers enter her folds, no warnings needed. In response, a loud, needy moan can be heard, and Minjeong lets her head fall back, mouth open and a strong grip on her bandmate’s shoulders. She’s finally full, no longer aching with emptiness or desire. Instead, Minjeong is knocked by the pleasant pleasure building up in her stomach, as Karina keeps fingering her pussy hard.

Satisfied, she stays like that: filling the empty bar with her pornographic moans as she keeps riding Karina’s thigh, thinking about nothing else but the way the friction against the leader’s pants is just perfect, aligned with the stretch on her walls, and the mouth on her breasts. It’s almost too much, but she’s unable to ask for Karina to stop, or to gown any slower. No, Minjeong’s head is filled with the urge to let go and come, nothing else. So she lets herself enjoy whatever Karina is willing to give, mind submissive and pliable.

“Does Minjeongie want to cum? Do you, doll?” Karina asks, tone innocent, even though she’s far from being so. Winter’s cunt throbs, making her gulp. Even though there are a few words being formed in her mind, she’s blank, unable to speak in any coherent sentences.

Minjeong nods, a mess of moans and whimpers, clinging onto Karina as if her life depended on it. Karina’s pace deepens, a third finger adding to the stretch of her pussy.

“Yes, p-please!” She chants, just as Karina’s thumb presses onto her clit, making her nearly cry. She feels her peak approaching her form, the combo of sensations building up to her pleasure.

Karina’s hands clutch on Minjeong’s waist so hard she’s sure it’ll bruise the girl’s skin, but she doesn't seem to care. She makes Minjeong’s pace on her thighs faster, dragging the orgasm out of her. “Do it, baby. Come on my fingers.”

Minjeong lets out a high-pitched moan at the command, feeling her body shaking as the orgasm finally has her spilling her juices in Karina’s hand. She’s breathless, hair disheveled and so sensitive— as Karina doesn’t let her stop her movement’s on the leader’s thigh. She whines, but keeps going, though. Like a doll.

“My little doll.” Karina voices her thoughts out loud, dropping wet kisses on Minjeong’s bare shoulders, waiting for the younger girl to settle down.

After a few minutes, she does, leaving Karina’s lap to sit beside her, inhaling deeply.

It’s Karina, Minjeong realizes, then. Karina is better than Soju, better than Rum, and much better than vodka. Karina is what sets her on fire, what gets her dizzy, drunk with desire. Minjeong wants to drink in all of her.

So she kisses her again, just as hungry as their first time, knowing their night had just started.

[kingdionra]

hi I've been trying to beg on the fediverse for a while but it's not going very well so I thought I would try here as well >.<

putting the teal deer up front, long explanation & images-for-proof under the cut: two traumatised and disabled queers have successfully run away from abuse but now have no furniture or other household essentials, looking for another €4000* or so to get everything we need + get out of our overdraft

GOAL: €1865/4000

throne link

£ paypal: diontheblackdragon@gmail.com

cashapp: £KingDionRa

DM for roommate's € paypal or my UK bank deets to do a straight transfer <3

also if you want you can get an album for your moneys, i have it up for free download on both my site and on bandcamp :3

*this is higher than the original goal I set on fediverse because I'm including the ebike and winter clothes and getting out of our overdraft (which is costing us a bit in fees every month)...but also this still isn't including new computers which we both need lol but this already feels like so much to ask for!

LONG ASS STORY:

okay so over a year ago i ran away from the uk in its entirety to stay with my internet best friend of over a decade in germany, because i'd been in and out of homelessness there for most of my adult life and just kept ending up with abusers (because that's what happens when you jump at the first chance you get to get out of a homeless shelter by moving in with people you don't know), and then running away from them because they tend to get worse and worse and eventually you'd rather be homeless again than live with someone who continually messes you up and ignores your boundaries and lies to you and bullies you and fucks with your health. and yeah after long enough of that i had zero faith in the system to help me or in local queer groups to do so either, because they're the ones who kept finding me white middle class assholes to live with who turned out to be classist ableist racist shitfaces who talked the talk but failed to walk the walk

anyway, this was not an ideal situation because my best friend was living in a very tiny (25 square meters TOTAL) apartment surrounded by asshole neighbours after also only recently escaping homelessness, but we both found our mental health was VASTLY improved by living together (see it turns out we're NOT the problem!! it was the abusers all along!!!!) despite the very cramped living space (we literally couldn't both stand in the kitchen at the same time and it only had a minifridge and a stovetop) and having to share a room despite NOT being a couple and having no privacy

but eventually that situation got worse and worse due to a literal nazi living next door who engraved swastikas in our mailbox and threatened physical violence on us (pretty sure he thought we were a queer interracial couple and was very mad about that), and things came to a head when he repeatedly called the cops on us for being too noisy at night (we LAUGHED TOO LOUD at gone 10pm omg how dare we) and kept trying to get us in shit with the landlord by making up lies about us

SO, we asked the internet (fediverse) for money to move, and managed to get enough to hightail it the fuck out of there (we actually left the country because neither of us like germany it's, surprise surprise, full of nazis) to a very cheap place in very rural finland where we can each have our own room and that we can actually afford the rent on ourselves but, being poor and desperate, we only asked for literally the bare minimum to move, and left asap, and got here with no furniture, no beds, no household necessities, no nothing.

we've been here 2 months now and have managed to acquire one (1) bed that we're having to share (again we are NOT a couple and the lack of privacy is driving us both up the wall) but we still need:

-a second bed so i can actually USE my own room that i finally have again

-bedding (inc. warm things before winter sets in! and additional covers so we can actually put things in the wash)

-winter clothes before it gets too cold

-a washing machine

-desks and chairs so we can actually sit somewhere and work

-a cargo ebike so we can get to the nearest town (7km) and buy food, rather than relying entirely on non-perishables that we can order over the internet (it's been 2 months since we've had any fresh food and that sucks)

-a new phone for roommate cause theirs broke

-a laptop or desktop for roommate cause they have nothing atm

-a new desktop for me because i only have access to an old shitty kind of broken laptop at the minute (one of the hinges is fucked and i can't close or open it without worrying it will break for good and it doesn't charge right half the time and usually takes multiple attempts to boot up and i'm scared every time that this time will be the time that it just Won't), because when i tried to fundraise for a new one like a year ago i was offered this and didn't think i could say no, but i am very worried it will break any day now, and it is Not Good for recording music on or making art or games (you kind of need to run the games to make them....)

current overdraft:

our very empty living room:

my very empty bedroom:

please help us actually get sorted out and set up in our new place, so that we can actually RELAX for the first time in our lives (i'm 35 and my best friend is 38 >.<)

we both really want to actually do good work and help the world, and i have so much creative shit that i want to get on with but that has just been like, put on hold constantly, for *years*. i have so many stories and games and songs and so much art and a whole-ass comic i want to make and just haven't been able to do ANY of it for so long! (i'm keeping track of all my creative ideas in a huge google spreadsheet that links out to google docs full of properly fleshed out plans for things though, so that i can get to work asap!)

we just need a little bit more help to get started and then we will be giving back SO MUCH, i promise! all my content is and will forever be free! so you can consider this an investment in future works that you will definitely all get access to! <3

thank you so much for reading this far, and for sharing and boosting and donating if you can, you're incredible and awesome and very much appreciated <3

[clouisluvr]

i need a part 3 of sean diaz hc IM STARVEDDD‼️

ask and (11 months later) you shall receive!

- deep conversations always happen whilst laying on the floor. he’ll lay on his back with an arm propped under his head and listen intently to everything you have to say

- hangs on to your every word if youre talking about something important like .. his eyes will go kinda big because he’s so focused on you he kinda forgets to blink LOL

- grabs onto your hands when hes nervous, like just clutches onto them and squeezes. likes when you rub the back of his hand with ur thumb for extra reassurance

- sean sees the world so artistically and beautifully so a feature of yours you’ve never noticed before is accentuated in his art. a beauty spot you didnt notice, a dimple you never knew about. he loves every little detail about you

- faye webster enjoyer! indie pop lover in general tbh. loves listening to music with you (earbud user because he hates how headphones feel on his head) and will always think of you when he listens to certain songs

- i think if you told him you like his hair long he’d let it GROWWW. like so long he can tie it into a bun, but it would annoy him after a while and he’d cut it to like ep1 length. will let you and daniel put his hair in pigtails with bows (he’ll joke about being coquette)

- loves going on drives with you. sometimes daniel tags along but he prefers when its just the two of you. definitely likes listening to frank ocean whilst the sun sets (it reminds him of gta😭)

- has a bad habit of putting on this cynical teen front (like his journal entry about trump winning LOL) and you give him an outlet to be sincere and sensitive which leads to him opening up about his mom

- sean feels a weird sense of guilt when he criticises karen in front of daniel because he knows he’s too young to really remember and feel upset about it. but he feels even worse doing it in front of his dad because he feels like his emotions take up too much space. like it overshadows the betrayal his dad must feel.

- so instead he adopts a mostly indifferent, partially angry attitude towards his mom leaving to disguise the genuine sadness and resentment. the inability to understand how she could just up and leave. when you give sean the space to actually .. feel everything, he breaks down. it deepens the bond he has with you, he feels theres no judgement to be cruel, selfish, or upset around you.

- seans newfound sensitivity from dating you also lets him be unashamedly happy about the holiday season. he is done pretending to be over christmas, bring out the ugly jumpers and candy canes!!

- esteban is in SHOCK. sean is up early during his winter break to *checks notes* decorate?? convinced it must be crack.

- not sure what the american equivalent of winter wonderland is, but he saves up money from his part time job to take you, his dad and daniel to a winter festival! he kinda breaks the bank but has no regrets!! gets you hot chocolates and treats, also spends an embarrassing amount on game tickets trying to win you a prize😭 you tell him its ok but he will keep trying until he gets you SOMETHING!

- at some point he’ll sneak off with you to give you the sweetest kiss ever. will hold your chin in his hand and tilt your head up to kiss you. he’s not huge on pda (especially with his dad in the vicinity) BUT he’s in such a good mood he cant pass up the chance. starts smiling through the kiss because he’s so happy

- that definitely inspires art of you looking flushed with slightly swollen lips but a look of warmth in your eyes. probably gives it to you as a christmas gift! tells you its one of the many many moments he felt himself falling even more in love with you

- he hates the cold but loves the excuse to cling to you constantly. “sean.. i need to pee.” “pretty sure if i let go of you i’ll instantly get frostbite soo..”

- nervous and geeky when you guys first start dating, but gets SUPERRR suave as time goes on it kinda makes you weak in the knees. will cup your cheek mid conversation and stroke your cheek with his thumb. will backhug you and kiss your neck. will kiss the back of your hand if hes feeling VERY romantic… whore activity tbh!

- hickey enthusiast omg its BAD hes an addict. but god forbid you give him one because he will freak about lyla seeing and giving him grief over it. has a thing for marking you and knowing you like how it feels

- loves when you wrap your arms around his neck!! gives him this super strong sense of security, he’ll always wraps his arms around your waist.

- HATES when people talk at the movies. you, sean and daniel all went to see fnaf and daniel would not stop turning to both of you to explain the lore incase you were confused😭 not even whispering mind you! infuriates sean but its him telling you and daniel to stop talking that gets the reaction of an angry parent asking him to “be quiet or leave!” his eye twitches when you and daniel start laughing at him LOLL

- ushanka hat bandit. will wear them even during SUMMER! always paired with a tank top and jeans or a striped hoodie. i think sean has slutty hips so u love the tank top x low rise jeans combo he wears in summer LMAOO :P

- likes to cuddle with your back facing him so he can kiss your shoulder.

- likes to post discreet pictures of you on his main ig but his spam account is like 90% you LMAO. posts photodumps filled with dumb text messages between you both and candid pictures of you

- gets overprotective of you in a similar way to how he is with daniel, sometimes you have to remind him you’re there to protect him too

- will lay his head on your shoulder when hes in need of comfort. also a subtle way of asking you to play with his hair (he will melt)

- likes if you put your hands in his jacket pocket when it’s cold so he can hold it in there!!

- goes through phases where he ALWAYS wants to be on the phone with you. like you could be on the way over and he’ll stay on call until you’re in his house

- has a bad habit of getting into petty arguments with you that start off playful, like debating over what the best chocolate bar is but he’ll end up taking it too far and getting legit mad LMAO. you both end up cackling about managing to argue over chocolate

- plans his future with you in it. knows he always wants to be in close proximity to you, daniel and his dad no matter what! he can’t imagine life without you and tbh he doesnt want to.

not sure what hits me at like midnight that makes me wanna write hcs but as always im too sleepy to proofread so ignore any mistakes! also sorry if you dont celebrate christmas, i was projecting a little LOL

hope u all enjoy!💗

[punkpandapatrixk]

Full Beaver Moon in Gemini ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card

(I’m ultra-sorry for this PAC being ultra-late!! I’ve been in deep, intense spiritual rehab🙏🏻Also, y’all have NO idea how much psychotic psychic ‘opposition’ I was fighting to get through with this PAC! It was plain insanity at this point. If you’ve found this PAC and you resonate, please, PLEASE, take care of your spiritual wellbeing and amp up your psychic protection for next year!)

☆♪°・.

Collectively speaking, the whole of Mankind is being prepared for a massive transformation that, hopefully, will lead to real, lasting harmony and prosperity. It is high time Mankind grew up and learnt to be responsible for the choices it makes in regards to co-Creation with the Universe. Where attention goes, aenergy goes, right?

Every man’s priority and perspective hold the power to shape—and reshape—Reality. For realz. For we are all part of that same fabric of Reality, we are constantly, with each other, co-Creating various spectrum of experiences that affect each other’s wellbeing. It’s inevitable. Your attention is what gives power to the Matrix. If you want to beat the System, you need to learn its mechanism and ultimately, stop giving your attention to Reality creation that doesn’t serve the highest good of all of Mankind.

Full Beaver Moon was on November 27. Its effects can still be felt by most peeps until at least April Fool’s next year (funny). This full moon is second to last before this year’s final Full Cold Moon on December 26, which will be in Cancer; and so the meaning of this Beaver Moon is for us to gather as much resource as possible before the cold winter.

For this Beaver Moon is in Gemini—the sign of thinking and learning—this implies gathering info, perspective, knowledge, intel as much as possible for us to study and digest all throughout winter. Sounds funny but trust me this will be SO relevant by spring next year. The aenergy I’m tapping into is super intense as the whole of Mankind is being ushered into a phase of rapid growing pains that will affect societies on a global scale.

Death of an old paradigm. Death of the 3D Self. It’s all happening. If you identify as a Lightworker or a Starseed, the message you find here could potentially be more relevant to you than most other peeps you know in your circle. You’re in gestation mode. Get ready because spring might be…weird?

It’s high time Mankind learnt to be responsible for its real power of co-Creation. Those who are more spiritually attuned have always had a craving for a freer, more authentic existence. Use this time to rest your heart, your mind, your soul, and let your Higher Self show you the way towards new avenues and grounds for things and pursuits you’ve always felt a calling to.

Even your weirdest hobbies and interests are no coincidence, hon. 2024 will probably not allow anyone to have a stagnant time—for better or worse… But you? You’re going to have a blast! I just know it🥂

[Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Spread Your Wings and Fly Away

resource – 3 of Pentacles

I hope you acknowledge just how resourceful you are as a person. On top of that, you’re naturally courageous. If you feel like you’re not that brave, it must’ve been your environment and the people you’ve met that have dimmed that fire in you. It is now time to reclaim your authentic voice. And you need to begin with acknowledging just how much your environment is stifling your creativity and/or originality. It is only by understanding the patterns that have shaped the way you view yourself can you then unravel that false perception that, you could say, was imposed on you.

Don’t kill your inner child to please the adults around you—no matter who these adults may be (they could be your peers if you’re already an adult yourself). When you were born into this world you carried seeds of courage, creativity and invention. All of these are such precious gifts for Mankind. You were supposed to develop yourself as one of the new builders of New Earth. You may have forgotten the minute details of your blueprint, but I know that you know it in your heart of hearts that this is the truth of your reason for being born :D

recollection – XVII The Star

You’re literally the only Pile that’s gotten a Major Arcana. Surely you know you’re a Starseed? :D If you don’t, you soon will. Perhaps your parents know something about the ‘waves of volunteers’ that was quite a topic back in the 60s or 70s? (I’m not duper sure about the timeline lol) At any rate, you have a great destiny ahead of you and it is imperative that you acknowledge this of yourself first before you’re launched into initiation*. What’s that about, you ask?

Many of your latent talents that may still be offline right now will gradually be uncovered for you. Throughout 2024, I’m sure you will experience many awakenings of sort that will propel you into remembering bits and pieces of talents you had acquired in other lifetimes. All of these gifts, are your gifts to Humanity. There is a divine reason why you’ve had to work so hard for your own personal transformation before you could assist others in helping themselves transform their paradigm. OK?

respite – 10 of Cups Rx

It is rather common for Starseeds to feel like the family they were born into, isn’t the family they belong to. Many Starseeds even find themselves look quite visibly physically different from the rest of their family. There’s just something there that seems to act as a bridge between your entire existence and theirs. You don’t think the same way; your moralities totally clash; the essences of your values are worlds apart; and so on. You’re right, these people aren’t the people you’re meant to call ‘family’. Their only purpose is to show you how ‘crazy’ develops in people, all for you to learn to navigate it and put an end to generational curses on Planet Earth. And thus it begins at ‘home’.

I have a feeling that for many of you reading this, there is an elder in your family—a much older elder—whom you could actually talk to, who would be able to share information about circumstances surrounding your birth or the bloodline you are born into. In another scenario, this person may not be older but simply possesses immense knowledge pertaining to your raison d’etre or even Life Purpose. In yet another scenario, it may not necessarily be a family member but rather, a teacher, a divine someone you meet serendipitously, or some random-ass wise Boomer you watch on YouTube who holds ideas and perspectives that make you feel seen and validated.

The period from this Full Beaver Moon until at least April next year may involve a lot of healthy grieving. Let yourself feel those emotions and feel Human. You deserve a safe space to be yourself and see all your dreams manifest. You’ve got this, OK? One day you will be serving the Light by sharing your stories😊

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

*I’ve included further technical interpretations of what this ‘initiation’ means for Lightworkers and Starseeds in the bonus content🐛

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Where Have You Come From and Where Are You Going, Dear Traveller?

resource – 7 of Cups Rx

In your childhood, I feel like you were forced to grow up faster than your peers. Your environment was not exactly friendly to the dreams and imaginations of a child. So you grew up to become practical, pragmatic and responsible rather quickly. But it was really hard to grow up like that because you, the real you, are a visionary. A visionary is someone who has many dreams and wild ideas, and in the right environment, a quality like that would’ve been much, much more celebrated! In the wrong environment, a dreaminess such as that is stifled.

This FM in Gemini invites you to revisit this dreaminess of yours because in your imaginations and daydreams lies the map of your Soul. Where have you come from and where are you going, dear visionary? Understanding your place in the world helps you gain insight about your Life Purpose, so to speak. What gifts have you brought into this world to share with Humanity? What challenges have you come face to face that have shaped your unique skills and perceptions?

recollection – 6 of Cups

Your home environment, your family and society have shaped the person that you are. It is important to understand your ‘roots’, kinda, so you know your strengths and weaknesses when standing in the midst of society. The rich kid from the upper echelons of society will possess skills and knowledge the poor kid from the hood wasn’t fed with. But likewise, the poor kid from the hood will possess perspectives and street smarts that are very unique in comparison to the shielded experiences of most privileged kids. Something like that.

One is not necessarily superior to the other. It’s mostly about understanding where you’ve come from and where these experiences, skills and perspectives could get you. Know your own uniqueness and use that to serve Humanity as you use that to take care of yourself and those you care about. A true sense of success can only come from being useful to other people, for the most part…unless you’re a psychopath XD

respite – King of Pentacles

You have so many natural talents that could make you money, that much I’d like to reaffirm. But more importantly than money, it’s that you have such a strong penchant for true leadership. If you work with your Throat chakra, you could become a very appealing public speaker. You could convince people to join your causes. But to become a true leader of the new world, you must possess good morality, so don’t forget to take care of your Solar Plexus and Heart chakras, so you don’t fall into the trapping of manipulation through speech.

Honestly, I think you are such a good person in spite of all the mental/psychological hardships you’ve had to grow up with. Calm your nerves down and enjoy slow moments with, idk, camomile tea or lavender bath, every now and then? Relaxation practices like breathing meditation, or even just fixing your sleeping pattern/schedule, could help you get in touch with your inner child again and I feel that this is something that will be important for you throughout this winter☃️Everything about your Life will become a lot clearer by spring, trust that😉

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Let the Past Die and Live on For Your Soul Tribes

resource – 3 of Cups

Honey, it’s time for you to rejoice. You’ve been through so much disappointment, so much heartbreak, and people have betrayed and abandoned you, and you��ve come through nevertheless. Surely that deserves some kind of karmic reward? Your Spirit Guides, your Soul Family, are applauding you for all you’ve been through. I think you’ve worked hard on yourself. Releasing yourself from past pains, distancing yourself—to the best of your ability—from toxic people and environments, and you’re about ready to serve your Dharmic Purpose.

I know many of you reading this will resonate with having worked on transmuting a lot of generational karma, but plenty of you tapping into this reading have even worked on transmuting geological karma and curses. The geographical location you were born into or the race you were born into, collectively speaking these kinds of things also carry generational curses based on terrible things that have happened on that location. I’d like you to know that you’ve done so much just by existing! You are the magic, the miracle that you’ve been hoping to see in the world🐣

recollection – Page of Pentacles

You’re an individual of many talents, but I’m sure there’s like 2 or 3 things you’re INSANELY good at. Do you know what they are? If you focus all of your aenergy on just these few main talents, you will literally shift your whole Reality to a much higher bandwidth! Try it. By focusing on just these few main pursuits, I sense you will be attracting your Soul Tribes at a much faster rate. I’m seeing these pulsating energetic vortexes that represent you and your Soul Tribes currently incarnate on Earth. These vortexes are spinning and expanding so rapidly that you and your Soul Tribes are magnetising each other into your morphogenetic fields—essentially, your Realities.

You and your Soul Tribes literally have unique missions on Earth and when you meet and collab, everything is going to make sense for you. These seemingly different groups of people are doing things (or exist in industries) that are similar to your own interests and visions for the world. I sense you may have felt a calling to be part of a certain industry and you’ve been studying and preparing yourself for that. ATTENTION! THIS. IS. NOT. RANDOM. You are being manifested by that industry if anything LMAO You have a place there so keep going!🌾

respite – 2 of Cups Rx

With all of that said, let this reading be your confirmation that you can make the choice to die to everyone and everything that doesn’t align with this vision in your mind that you know comes from your Soul. Be a ghost. Hustle in quiet. Don’t spill the beans until they are ready for planting. And when you plant, plant with your Soul Family and not those who are only pretending to be there for you so they can take advantage of you later!

Connections with your real Soul Tribes are going to feel effortlessly uplifting on top of being respectful of boundaries. Interactions and exchanges with your real Soul Tribes are never going to make you feel icky. Trust your gut instinct when you feel that someone you’ve come to trust is probably manipulating you with kind or sweet words imbued with some dishonourable intent. You’re probably right but let’s not take chances; you’ve had enough, so keep your brains about you, too. Best to use this time to build—or rebuild—your world of everything that makes Life worth living🎂

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

[rainbowchaox]

Jayce:

1. Victor Frankenstein: Jayce was clearly the one that brought Viktor back to life. Jayce doesn’t die in the arctic but it’s clearly shown Jayce is connected to winter and snow. It’s where he meets Mage Viktor.

2. Pierre Curie: Pierre is sorta infamous for being sorta a wife guy making sure his wife was able to get her name on their Nobel prize nominations. It was a whole thing where he complained until she was added onto it. Making her the first woman to receive a Nobel Prize.

3. Icarus: Icarus is always a symbol of humanity trying to become the gods. That no matter how smart or clever one came be there’s always a fall. And Hextech is the metaphorical brass and wax wings that will melt off Jayce causing him to fall into the abyss of the Oceon.

4. Orpheus: Orpheus whole deal is loving his love so much that he can’t help but look back. And Jayce is similar he can’t help looking back. He can’t help loving Viktor.

5. Pygmalion: I adore this myth because the summary is Pygmalion created a sculpture to make his ideal companion. The more I read on the myth the more I can see it with an asexual lens. Plus helps that Viktor becomes a robotic god by the end of things (Demi4Demi Jayvik truther here)

6. Achilles: Both Achilles and Jayce are lowkey the reason why their soulmate dies. Jayce just did it himself but Achilles killed Patronculus by inaction. Also helps both Achilles and Jayce both go into a rage after their other half death. Also Jayce broke his leg which can be a symbol of Achilles Heel.

7. Odysseus: Literally the wife guy ever that goes through actual horrors to go back to his wife. Jayce can so relate. The hell dimension was his odyssey. (Meanwhile shout out to the animatic Monster by Sonofan)

8. Judas: Usually I am personally annoyed at everyone bringing up Judas as an archetype. The betrayer. A aspect people usually forget is how Judas is usually portrayed as Jesus Favorite. And that’s Jayce okay?

9. Gilgamesh: In the legend Enkidu was created to sorta humble Gilgamesh and when Enkidu dies. Gilgamesh loses his shit. Again totally Jayce.

10. Ganymede: Jayce is akin to Ganymede because he is Viktor favorite man in the universe. Herald Viktor lowkey wanted to abduct Jayce and make him similar to his cup bearer. Pretty Much Jayce Is Special.

11. Liang Shanbo: This is because of the butterfly motif both Jayce and Viktor share. It’s also a love story about “Brothers”. It’s very cute and Jayvik. Check out the butterfly lovers.

12. Alexander The Great: Not only did Alexander relate to the story of Achilles and Patronculus. But Jayce reminds me of him. Not in the conquerer sort of way but the fact he is the one that was remembered for Hextech. Not his lover. Not his partner.

Viktor:

1. The Creature: There’s something so disturbingly romantic about putting back your love together. There’s something so homoerotic about Frankenstein as a story in general. Viktor is the creature but one that is selflessly loved. Say what you will about Jayce but he didn’t run off after seeing heterochromia. He loves Viktor for being alive.

2. Marie Curie: Pierre and Marie are partners in every sense of the word. And they are the scientist pair I can only see them as (Stop with the Edison and Tesla allusions. Jayce doesn’t deserve to be called a Edison please!). Marie is Polish and Viktor is Czech. And Viktor and Marie both died from their work.

3. Alan Turing: I know I said Marie was the main scientist that I can connect to Viktor but let’s be honest. Viktor is the level of super intelligent gay as Alan Turing. Viktor is so alike to Turning its scary.

4. Eurydice: Viktor numerous times is saved by Jayce. And Viktor never holds it against Jayce for “looking back” and making things worse. Jayce and Viktor love each other too much to not take a glimpse.

5. Galatea: The legend is that the statue came alive to be Pygmalion companion. And Viktor even when is a full automaton is practially made for Jayce. Asexual Codependency is hell of a drug.

6. Patroclus: Patronculus dies because Achilles refuses to fight. Viktor dies for a similar reason. He is the price for the “hero” mistake. They are peak gay tragic lovers.

7. Penelope: Viktor never gave up on Jayce. He like Penelope will always wait for Jayce. He will never stray from Jayce. Jayce has his whole heart whether he knows it or not. And Viktor will love Jayce even if he changed from his experiences.

8. Jesus: I think it’s clear why this is here. Viktor went full Jesus in season 2. Viktor though is selfish with his love with his Judas. Jayce will kill him and Viktor will always understand.

9. Enkidu: a creation made by the gods in order to humble Gilgamesh (Jayce). Said gods didn’t know he would get attached and become very “close”. But Viktor like Enkidu was destined to die and Jayce deal with it “well”

10. Hephaestus: Look me and the homies love Hephaestus and IM BEGGING for people to write Jayce unknowingly rizzing up the god of the forge. Viktor is yes disabled but also he is literally known for making machines. I need more Hephaestus Viktor please.

11. Zhu Yingtai: Please the butterfly lovers legend is so Jayce and Viktor. And how the myth ends is pretty much what happens to Jayce and Viktor once they had their final talk in the arcane.

12. Hephaestian: Alexander and him were very close. He was Alexander’s favorite general. He like Viktor faded into the background because of the fame of their “Sun”

[yanderes-galore]

One character that i find really interesting in Resident Evil is Mia Winters, and it's not even when she was infected by mold. For starters, Mia isn't exactly a victim (not as much as the others in the game). She was a bioterrorist that worked for The Connections and she knew what Eveline was and what she could do. Mia may not have designed Eveline, but she helped transport her to her destination, which led to the events of the game. So, Mia is responsible for the deaths of all the ship's crew, the Bakers, all the family victim's and Ethan himself, but she still got away with it in the end. So, could you write a general concept for Mia? You can add the infected version, but i think she has more dept in her normal form.

I'll try, sure. It won't be that long but I will say what I think of her.

Yandere! Mia Winters Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Stalking, Picture taking, Human experimentation, Delusional behavior, Dubious companionship/relationship.

I will agree that is not the best person.

She lied so much during the story.

While she did care for Ethan, she lied to him many times.

She lied about what she was doing, she lied to lure him, she even lied about him not being a mold creature.

That's barely even covering the fact she was transporting Eveline.

Eveline was a developed bioweapon meant to sneak behind enemy lines and was meant to be transported to testing grounds.

Mia choosing to do such a job, even if the pay was good or she was doing the right thing, is a dark thing to do morally.

Despite all of that, I would still say she's a subtle yandere if I had to make her yandere.

She's primarily just manipulative, even before the mold.

I could also say she's delusional in the way she's thinking.

She may think she's doing the right thing when it comes to lying to you.

She was married to Ethan prior to RE7 (iirc), and still lied to him.

You think she's going to tell her obsession the truth?

She knows the truth would drive them away from her, then she can't have them anymore.

She'd hide her obsessive tendencies... and if they were some sort of experiment, she'd hide that too

Mia would fabricate your entire life if it meant you stayed by her side as your yandere.

Does she feel guilt? Maybe a little.

However, Her own feelings often trump any regret she feels.

I feel Mia would hate being alone more than anything.

She'd want you to be by her side and for you two to care for one another.

Even if it means your whole relationship has been based on lies.

She'd lie to you as a friend and lie to you as a lover.

She'd be delusional, uncaring if she's leading you into a web of lies.

In terms of what she'd actually do other than fabricate your life...

She'd socially isolate you in fear of others knowing the truth and saying something.

She has a photo album of pictures she took when you didn't know.

She has a journal and audio recordings she uses as ways to vent her obsession.

She definitely isn't one to outright kill unless it has something to do with the mold.

That's fine, not all yanderes involve murder, that's something I've come to learn when writing.

Sometimes they just need to do something overly toxic or worse.

I'd say her lying and manipulating is its own form of scary.

Mostly because, if you ever learned of her lies, the trust issues you get afterwards is enough to make you distrust anyone.

How would you know if anything is true after that?

Hiding her obsessive behavior is bad enough, honestly.

But if she was hiding the fact you were an experiment or infected with something?

Just so she could keep you as hers?

It may not seem that bad compared to other yanderes...

But it will still mess you up psychologically when she cages you in her home, promising all she does is for the best.

[stoat-party]

Evaluating Which Details Pose Continuity Issues (yeah, it’s long, sorry)

I’m being relentlessly annoyed by (some) people mad at the show and by (some) people mad at people mad at the show, so let’s clear up where the issues are and aren’t so we’re not just talking over each other here.

Destroying the Strip

Obviously not a retcon. Retcons refer to previously-established events. Some people might have their own problems with it (I definitely saw it cited as evidence of a coordinated attack on New Vegas), but it presents no continuity problems.

2. What exactly is a vial?

I don’t think this changed ghoul lore. They can still go 200+ years without turning, or they can start turning as soon as they get ghoulified. There’s just a new plot element where they can stave off the effects of going feral for awhile if they take this mysterious drug - without the drug, the rules are still the same. The story was NOT clear on this, and it confused me, but if ghouls need drugs to stay sane, Oswald, Dean, Billy, etc. could not exist even if there’s a massive industry in vials of goop that’s never been mentioned before.

3. It took Vault-Tec decades to build all the vaults.

This is something I worried about because there couldn’t have been much time between the boardroom scene and the bombs falling (Janey doesn't age). But I think it makes sense if you assume the vaults were already built and they filled them with experiments afterward. It does leave the problem that some vaults were unfinished but Vault-Tec also dropped the bombs - why would they do that before finishing their vaults? It’s possible that they planned to drop them but got beat to the punch, or any number of other explanations. Clear retcon but not a huge plot hole.

4. House is worse than Caesar all of a sudden?

This one’s a private gripe of mine because House and Sinclair were not originally written to be Actual Sadists Who Hate Humanity. There’s also House’s mastermind prepper attitude toward the apocalypse, which doesn’t indicate that he had a hand in orchestrating it. While the change doesn’t conflict with the text as far as I know, it really changes the flavor of the game, but not as much as:

5. The Fall of Shady Sands

Let’s say that this happened after the first battle of Hoover Dam, so no continuity issues with their ability to win that. (That’s probably why they set it in 2277, so the NCR would have almost four years to recover before NV. As if Caesar wouldn’t have taken half of their land by then, even with his armies crushed, but ok fine he’s going through a divorce, he’s busy right now.)

But are you telling me that a country can lose a massive city containing much of its infrastructure, most of its central government, and ~5% of its population and still be trying to manifest destiny four years later with no mention of it?

Losing the Divide as a travel route almost crippled the NCR in the Mojave for awhile. Now, not only have they lost the Divide and their capital city, but one of their other biggest cities, the Boneyard, is abandoned and inhabited by an apparently-unaffiliated town. (Yeah, Los Angeles is big, but we don’t see any NCR or Followers despite three main characters traveling through it.) Even if there were still people there during New Vegas, how is the NCR still conducting a campaign in the east?

Also, who is Muldover and what’s her position? Why does she have raiders at her disposal? Is that really supposed to be what remains of the government? I get that some of this will be resolved later, but short of complete societal collapse, there’s no explanation.

We don’t see any of this in New Vegas. The president (who was in office in 2277) is still alive. No one mentions losing family in the explosion. Caesar, Ulysses, and House, along with the many other characters who complain about the NCR’s weakness and instability, don’t bring it up. People even mention the politicians in Shady Sands specifically. PEOPLE ARE MAKING JOKES ABOUT WANTING A NUCLEAR WINTER-

Now there’s a saving interpretation going around that “the fall of Shady Sands - 2277” refers to a metaphorical fall, and the explosion was later. I’ll accept this if I have to, but don’t pretend it’s not a strained reading. Every entry on the board is dated. Why would you date an amorphous event and not date the city exploding?

The explosion was nineteen years ago, and it had to be that early because Lucy and Norm don’t remember living there. (Not clear how old they are but probably in their early-mid 20’s.) The earliest you could place the event without it making no sense is late 2282, because with the time skips in DLC, the events of New Vegas are about a year long. Maybe you could put a gap between Lucy returning to the vault and the actual destruction, but not a five-year one. And if it was in 2282, Max would still be a teenager.

There are legitimate concerns here. Between House and the NCR, the show changes a lot about the main conflict of New Vegas. It’s not just side details.

Not telling you how to feel! Just don’t pretend nothing poses any problems and people are crazy for being concerned. I think the vibe right now is to dismiss me as a hater, but I hope you can see I’ve tried to make it all work. Continuity is really important in a multi-decade story, especially to writers.

I will be appeased by a respectful and thought-out New Vegas remake that preserves as much of the original continuity as possible and is also really good and costs $4. Thanks in advance Bethesda.

Edit:

6. Tatoes in the vaults

TATOES IN THE VAULTSSSS? THIS IS MASSIVE DISRESPECT TO THE LORE. EVERYTHING WE KNOW IS DESTROYED. UNFORGIVABLE.

(but yeah there shouldn’t be tatoes in a vault that hasn’t opened)(maybe norm and lucy had seeds in their pockets when they came back, sure)

[lunaryfairy]

Trigger Warning: Rare Illness/Health Issues [wasn't sure if this need a tw but these topics make some ppl uncomfy so i wanted to be considerate anyway💜]

so a lot of ppl have been asking me why i don't post pics anymore or why i have barely been on social media compared to how i used to be. and the reason is i've been having severe health issues for a very long time. i can't even remember the last time i went more than a month without feeling nauseous, or actually throwing up, or just having headaches and stomach pain that are so bad i can barely tolerate them.

i've known for a while that i have gastritis, but my mom & my bf convinced me to go to a new doctor for a second opinion. after months & months of pure agony and feeling exhausted and sick to the point where i have no energy, i finally know why. i went to a specialist and discovered i have a rare illness called CVS (Cyclic vomiting syndrome). and i also am lactose intolerant which was amplifying my symptoms because i eat dairy products constantly.

i am going to be starting treatment for it and i really hope it improves my life and my ability to function because i am so tired of "living" like this. just existing has been exhausting and painful. i literally haven't been able to accomplish any of the goals i have because i can't go more than a few days without feeling horrible.

i already feel useless because i'm autistic and i have bipolar 1 and i'm waiting on disability payments to come through because i am unable to work with my disabilities. so my bf has been working and doing his best to take care of me and our kids. i just feel so horrible and guilty all the time. and i genuinely didn't know why i feel sick 24/7. all i want is to feel like myself again. and to do all the things i miss doing. i feel like i'm trapped by this illness.

i'm grateful to have answers and know what i'm dealing with finally. but after suffering like this almost every single day for so long its so hard to feel hopeful for the future at this point. i'm literally in tears as i type this. its just been really bad. i never do my makeup anymore or feel good about myself. i can barely move sometimes because the pain in my stomach is so bad or i get pain in my throat from vomiting for hours at a time, and then i get MORE pain from dry heaving due to not being able to hold down any food. and then i get random migraines and headaches that last all day as a result of all of that. its taking a huge toll on my body and my mental health. my depression gets worse during the winter season so when this started getting really bad it just made my mental health a million times worse. its literal hell.

but yeah thats why i haven't been online. real life is hard enough and i haven't been motivated to post because of the hell i'm going through or a lot of the time i physically CAN'T make content. but i'm going to keep trying. i'm going to do every fucking thing my doctors tell me to do because im so fed up with suffering. i promise that i will make content again and post the things i create and other stuff i used to post about before i stopped being able to function. as soon as i start to feel semi normal or at least well enough to do daily activities and complete even small goals, i will post about it. i'll keep u guys updated.

i appreciate every single person who follows me and my content, and all the ppl who keep checking up on me and wondering where the fuck i went. i love you guys so much💜 and i'm so sorry to all the ppl who haven't heard from me. if i can gain at least a little bit of my physical strength and health back, i will be so happy. i also am trying to get vitamins prescribed to me because im severely lacking nutrients but they are so expensive and i can't afford them out of pocket until i get my disability money. i'm also anemic and have to start taking iron supplements again. i'm just a giant ball of health issues😭 its actually ridiculous how bad my health has been. but i'm a mom and for that reason i will never stop trying. i will do whatever it takes to get better. i don't think my health could get much worse than it is currently. hopefully i didn't just jinx myself by saying that😭

sorry for the super long explanation, i just have sooo many messages in my inbox and questions that you guys send me that i haven't answered. i don't want to leave u in the dark. the connections i've made on this silly little blog mean the world to me. and everything i've been going through has been so hard to explain. but since i recently got a REAL answer as to why i'm suffering so much, i felt it was a good time to let you guys know what is going on with me. like i said, when i am able to feel somewhat normal again i will post consistently and re-open my shop too! it sucks so bad having a passion for creating but being too sick to even get out of bed other than to get sick in the bathroom. i've been to the emergency room more times this month than i have in the last 4 years. if i can overcome this awfulness i will not take it for granted. i will work harder than i ever have to create and share it with the world. but for now i just have to sit back and do whatever my doctors tell me to do and hope to god that it helps me 😞

[mirrorball-leclerc]

track 001. london boy

─── ❝ so i guess all the rumors are true❞ ───

masterlist // next

bailey knew it was never a good idea to enter a pr relationship, but she was all out of ideas. if a fake ‘relationship’ could get her out of her slump she would take it. as a songwriter there was nothing worse than being stuck in a writing slump. she had done extensive research on her fake boyfriend and all she had come up with was that he was a scorpio and sassy, there was also something about him being an avid twitch streamer. so, clearly, her methods of research needed some work, but not by much, in her opinion.

it's also was a perk because it meant jeremiah would finally stop bothering her. she had made a few mistakes in the past and one of them was agreeing to go out on a date with him when they were 15. they had dated for 3 years until bailey had called it quits on them. her excuse had been that she was too busy with her growing career but she just wasn't in love with him anymore. the two had been best friends before they began dating and now their friendship was ruined, which is why bailey regretted ever dating him.

she had been single since then which naturally meant jeremiah thought she was still in love with him. she wasn't but he didn't understand that, so like every other guy who didn't understand what the word 'no' meant, he kept asking her out. this in turn meant she had to lie and tell him that she was talking to someone so he would stop annoying her. it was then that the opportunity to be an f1 driver's pr girlfriend fell into her lap. she hadn't even known who the driver was until she was signing the nda's with his managment.

bailey had been annoyed with him not showing up to the initial meeting but one quick google search for the f1 schedule had told her he was currently in austria racing. the two wouldn't be officially meeting until Silverstone, his home grand prix, or at least that had been the plan until his manager was texting her to let her know he would be showing up at her small concert in london. now she was effectively freaking out over how the two would make any of this believable if they didn’t even know each other.

liked by zoyatorres, landonorris, jeremiahbuchanan and others

baileywinters london, i am in you

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user82 ariana (lando) what are you doing here?

↳ user90 who is this lando you speak of?

↳ user82 lando norris is a formula one driver, british, attractive

↳ user15 she is for the girls, gays, and theys only. mr.norris can leave.

jerimiahhuchanan sorry i couldn’t make it to your london show

↳ baileywinters its okay! there will be more!

zoyatorres have fun in london

↳ baileywinters will do! 🫡

baileywinters posted a new story

met this weirdo at my show, apparently he's famous or something? he was signing shirts

landonorris seriously? that’s the best you can come up with? baileywinters alright asshole see if you can do better

zoyatorres hello? you go to london and you meet a guy? i expect details winters! baileywinters you got it zoya!

landonorris posted a new story

saw a pretty cool girl perform tonight. 10/10 would recommend. great show baileywinters!

baileywinters you think i’m cool? landonorris alright don’t let it get to your head baileywinters mine was still better landonorris as if

isabellaperez LANDO NORRIS HOW DARE YOU NOT INVITE ME?! landonorris next time, i'm sorry!

liked landonorris, danielricciardo, isabellaperez and others

baileywinters so the cars go vroom vroom in weird circles? thanks for the invite mclaren! i hang out with the weird guy from my show and suddenly i’m at an f1 race, life is weird.

tagged: mclaren, landonorris, danielricciardo

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mclaren it was a pleasure having you here! please come to more races, lando’s more tolerable

↳ landonorris my own team against me? this is betrayal.

↳ danielricciardo you’re more quite when she’s around.

isabellaperez why did no one tell me you were here? mclaren i have a bone to pick with you and your drivers!

↳ mclaren redbullracing your admin is out of control

↳ redbullracing 🤷🏻‍♀️ what can they do about it?💋 isabella

jeremiahbuchanan since when are you into f1?

↳ baileywinters always have been but i’m more of a sebastian vettel fan than i am of the sport

↳ user13 she gets it

↳ mclaren she’s a aston martin fan? is this the betrayal lando was speaking of?

↳ baileywinters i will be a fan of whatever team sebastian vettel is on

↳ user63 these two just met and she’s already been invited to a grand prix? seems like a pr relationship

↳ user72 they seemed to hit it off. i don’t see what the big deal is? let them be friends. not every man and woman who spend time together are dating

↳ user91 not to mention it takes weeks to plan stuff like this out. they had probably already planned this when she met lando. she probably planned her london show around her appearance with mclaren

who’s jeremiah?

why are you asking?

he just dm’d me asking if we were dating. do i lie to to him or do i tell him the truth?

LIE! I NEED YOU TO LIE TO HIM!

also do think it's wise to tell someone you don't know that it's all fake?

okay, that’s a good point but why do i need to lie to him? you know him, don’t you trust him?

do you trust everyone you meet norris?

no, but if i scroll back far enough on your instagram he’s everywhere

we dated, he's an ex

why are you stalking my instagram?

i don't know if you're aware but i know nothing about you. i'm gathering intel on you

also you’re friends with your exes?

okay, that worries me a little but yes. why do you make it sound like i'm a fucking mission or some shit?

is it a problem that i'm friends with jeremiah? and it's one ex. i've only dated one guy.

how did one guy get you to write so many songs about him?

first you stalk my instagram now you're listening to my songs?

i went to you concert...i had to make it look like i was fan. what's the point of this if it doesn't look believable at least?

does this mean i have to go back and watch your old season? or can i just watch dts? please tell me i can just watch dts, it's so much faster

if you want a dramatization of f1, sure watch dts

wait, i just realized, you were stalking my instagram and your reason was pretty shit. lando norris, do you have a crush on me?

i'm not even going to entertain your thoughts.

that's not a no

alex albon WHO’S THE GIRL NORRIS?!

george russell what girl? lando brought a girl? huh?

isabella perez i can’t believe you didn’t tell me you knew bailey winters. friendship over.

carlos sainz qué? why did i not know lando had a girlfriend?

lando norris WOAH! who said anything about girlfriend? she a girl who’s a friend. there's a space between girl and friend. girl friend.

daniel ricciardo he has a crush on her!

lando norris i do not!

daniel ricciardo you were a blushing mess the entire time she was near you. and you were quite. penelope trevino lando's never quite. who is this girl?

natalia ruiz she was pretty, from what i saw.

isabella perez she’s gorgeous! besides the women here present she’s my wcw

charles leclerc we seriously need to find isabella a boyfriend

isabella perez get me your brother’s number charles leclerc what? you have his number? are you asking for lorenzo’s? isabella perez it’s a joke, but do you think he’d been willing to get me the number of some of those cute prema boys? isabella perez also arthur’s literally my best friend, i can get him a girlfriend though? i have friends. max verstappen sorry? i thought you said you had more friends besides us. isabella perez i do pierre gasly your sister doesn’t count isabella perez fuck you baguette and i do have more friends, you french fuck rowan todd i know you don’t want to get arthur a girlfriend when that boy is still hung up on your sister isabella perez if we don’t talk about it, it’s like they never dated. meaning i don’t have to be awkward around my best friend and sister.

daphne jones added one person

daphne jones no one question it.

(626)-584-6812 what the fuck is this?

lando norris oh god

isabella perez oh thank god i thought you added arthur or my sister and i was panicking because we were talking shit.

lando norris DAPHNE!

(626)-584-6812 daphne jones? oh my god! excuse me while i go scream in a pillow

lance stroll she’s so real for that mae jones daniel’s live reaction to meeting daph for the first time

daphne jones changed (626)-584-6812 to bailey winters

bailey winters i should’ve become friends with an f1 driver sooner if it meant knowing daphne jones

penelope trevino what are your intentions with my son? carlos sainz *our son bailey winters excuse me? lando norris PENELOPE REBECCA TREVINO! CARLOS SAINZ VÁZQUEZ DE CASTRO! isabella perez full government names, he’s pissed.

lewis hamilton i worry for you people, i seriously do.

lewis hamilton i apologize in advance bailey, they’re nuts.

bailey winters sir lewis hamilton knows my name. oh my god. i've peaked. this is what my life has been building up too

esteban ocon oh this comedy gold right here

lance stroll you cried after you met daphne the first time esteban. shut up. mick schumacher in his defense it's daphne freaking jones. freya vettel that's a valid excuse

sebastian vettel i have you children muted for a reason. this is insane. you’re all insane.

pierre gasly lando is currently chasing carlos with a golf club.

bailey winters where did he get the golf club from?

rowan todd i’ve learned it’s best not to question things around here. bailey winters noted.

penelope trevino he’s still my son, i regret nothing.

bailey winters i’m so confused

esteban ocon to clear it up for bailey, carlos and penny are lando’s parents after he drunkenly referred to them as mom and dad. mae jones penny and carlos claim to hate each other but we’re all waiting for that enemies to lovers trope to hit isabella perez just like we’re all waiting for mae and max to get their heads out of their asses and get back together. alex albon or for natalia and charles to stop pretending like we don’t all know they’ve been sleeping together and just announce they’ve been basically dating since 2019 natalia ruiz excuse me? carlos sainz the walls are thin. i’ve heard things. i bet sebastian did too. sebastian vettel i heard too much.

daniel ricciardo the only healthy relationships here are daphne and i + pierre and yuki

pierre gasly yuki and i are not dating yuki tsunoda that’s not what you said yesterday. i guess i’m not the love of your life. pierre gasly yuki, no, you are. i promise. fernando alonso you two desperately need to get girlfriends george russell fernando's never present but when he is he roasts the absolute shit out of someone.

bailey winters i seriously love you people. this is the best thing to happen to me in a month.

lando norris wow, and yesterday she said meeting me was the best thing to happen to her alex albon clearly she lied to make you feel better sebastian vettel you won’t think that for long bailey, i promise bailey winters i died, dead, deceased. digging my grave. here lies bailey winters, she died after meeting her favorite driver (sebastian vettel) and celebrity crush (daphne jones) daniel ricciardo she’s just like me. daughter? bailey winters father? wait, who's my mother? max verstappen daphne charles leclerc it may take a while for you to connect the dots

3:13 am

bailey winters DANIEL AND DAPHNE ARE DATING? I JUST FIGURED THAT SHIT OUT. WHAT THE FUCK? THAT FLEW COMPLETELY OVER MY HEAD! CHARLES AND MAX PRACTICALLY GAVE IT TO ME!!

¡leclerc-s speaks! love giving my ocs shitty exes. happy sprint day! manifesting a mclaren or ferrari sprint win today!

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[philosophicalparadox]

Uchiha Head-canons pt. 2

A non exhaustive list of my favorite mostly old Uchiha HC’s from back before the manga was completed, and which still exist to me because canon never actually explicitly answered any of the questions:

The sharingan is a proper Divine Blessing/Curse, (somewhat confirmed by canon) in that it is borrowed power that has a somewhat separate Will of its own; it’s not exactly sentient, but it can respond to the emotional energy of its user independently of their conscious or logical desires, I.e. to defend them. Furthermore this is a large reason why the Uchiha face discrimination in the first place; when cornered or threatened, their eyes just do — there is no second guess or real conscience, their power will conjure up any visions of hell it so pleases to deter you from attacking or killing its host.

Secondary to this, since all sharingan can conjure Genjutsu, this is very typically the form in which defensive action takes place. It’s far worse if one has a mangekyou that specializes in it, like Itachi or Shisui, but ultimately all sharingan can and will react defensively by conjuring a Genjutsu.

Speaking of Shisui, one of my favorite HC’s about his name (meaning “still water/doldrum”) is that he got it for having been mistaken as stillborn. Dark, but suits him and his story just fine.

Itachi (meaning “weasel”) is named after Izuna (meaning “stoat”, and animal very like a weasel but tiny lol, they’re also called an ermine when they change colour in winter.)

As I’m sure many followers know by now, and as a repeat, I totally HC a strong prevalence of Autism in the Uchiha clan. It just explains so much.

On a related note (haha punny) I think it DOES in fact make sense for there to be an auspicious absence of anti-incest instinct in the Uchiha clan, because, yknow, it’s kind of integral to their continued existence. This theory gets a lot of crap from antis, but I’m not even a hard shipper really, I just think it suits the narrative implications. 🤷‍♀️

I don’t think I’ve seen this HC elsewhere but I’ve had it forever: awakening the sharingan too young is often fatal, AND there is such a thing as sharingan abilities too powerful for their user. Canon also sort of confirmed this later with Sasuke. But I’m talking like, a Mangekyou ability that will kill its host if they’re too young or too weak for it. Part and parcel of it being a supernatural power.

Speaking of narrative implications: Hyuuga and Uchiha blood don’t mix well. I personally like this explanation better than the whole vicious rivalry thing because that’s kind of counter to the whole founding point of Konoha???? So let there be an inciting cause: that for one reason or another, Hyuuga x Uchiha results in poor outcomes. Either it’s prone to rendering the offspring completely powerless, or it renders them too powerful for their own sake; either it results in most likely a Byakugan that’s un-turn-off-able, or it quite possibly results in a higher incidence of rinnegan, which might I remind you tends to kill its hosts.

Under similar pretense, Uchiha and Senju blood don’t particularly mix well either…except that they do, and that is precisely the problem. I’ve long HC’ed Kagami and Shisui as possessing Senju blood to explain their power differences. (And curly hair, maybe) Madara and Izuna too I wish to believe have Senju blood, perhaps more distantly, or else they’ve got Mystery Blood that’s not pure Uchiha. Which is deliberately very ironic lol.

As a final and very dark HC, the fact that Uchiha do canonically practice a form of selective breeding/eugenics means that the culls have to go somewhere. Given how valuable their genes are, as well as how very traditional, I imagine that they officially send their unwanted away to live better lives…which is to say that they might tell people that, and indeed some families probably did, but the real world historical precedent for this both in Japan and out has always been infanticide. 😢 I mean there’s also the precedent from families who didn’t agree with the practice, as I said, where they’d send their littles away, sometimes crippling them on purpose depending on why, (intentionally blinded Uchiha survivors, anybody?) which I also HC, but there is likely something of an unspoken assumption that kids who “just didn’t make it” were, in fact, murdered. The politics of this are interesting and very disturbing at the same time lol.

I’ll probably be back with round 3 at some point but for now have all the brainrot

[hopeswriting]

Since it's the holiday season, I want to know your thoughts on what the 10th gen would gift each other for Christmas. Also, I hope you had a good Christmas <3

Hi, thank you for the ask!

I don't celebrate christmas, but thank you for thinking of me, i appreciate the sentiment. <3 I hope you had wonderful holidays yourself too!!

Okay so, these questions are always fun to think about, but i've always been just so terrible at them zjeldksks. 😭 Figuring out the little things like these has always eluded me unless i just need to figure them out for a story lol. So i don't know about gifts (sorry, i know that's what your ask is about 😔), but i can totally see them agreeing to do a secret santa.

After celebrating christmas with their respective families, i can see them showing up at tsuna's house the next day to celebrate among themselves too. Or maybe it wasn't planned at all and they all end up showing up anyway because it's just natural by now for them to go "hmmm i have some free time right now. i should totally go see tsuna! If i don't see him every day, i'll forget the world is a beautiful place and that life is worth living, and i can't have that." (They all love tsuna very much, you see.)

Reborn says it'd be fun for all of them to wear christmas sweaters, and tsuna ends up with the ugliest and most embarrassing one. Naturally, it means gokudera also wears one. He couldn't tell you a single damn thing about its design (duh. all that matters is that the tenth and him are matching!), but he still almost manages to convince everyone else they're the peak of fashion in his effort to cheer tsuna up about them. Yams and ryohei wear one too good-naturedly, but that's it, just the four of them. Tsuna is irrationally annoyed reborn doesn't wear one too even if it was his idea and he totally saw it coming.

Haru shows up disguised as santa claus for no goddamn reason. 😭 (I love her so much.) With the round belly and beard and everything too. She loses the belly and the beard at some point, but refuses to break character at any point.

To keep alive the christmas magic for the kids, she says when tsuna asks her about it. And she even brought gifts for them too because of their secret santa! She spends their time together trying to discreetly put them under the christmas tree before it's time for them to open the presents so she can go "Oh, look!!! You've been such good kids this year, santa claus came again!!!" to lambo, i-pin and fuuta. She's everything but discreet in all her attempts, but everyone pretends to not notice it (except gokudera zjdkskdk).

The girls are also dressed in christmas colors and also wear reindeer's ears to compliment haru's disguise, and tsuna's too busy finding kyoko cute and pretty to question haru any further.

The girls are the ones to invite chrome, but mukuro shows up at some point too anyway. Coincidentally, hibari shows up around the same time too. But before they can use tsuna's house as their battlefield, reborn says they ought to go against each other through a snowball fight instead. After all it's christmas and winter and it snowed too and everything.

This time around too, they lose the plot of that snowball fight real quick lmao. Worse than before actually, because this time hibari and mukuro are also playing. It becomes nothing short of a life and death battle during which tsuna IS very much fighting for his life trying to not be hit by the most terrifying snowballs he's ever seen. WHEN snow is involved at all. It isn't nearly enough for what was supposed to be a snowball fight.

Reborn's also disguised as santa claus. He's disguised as the santa claus, in fact, he says. The original one who taught the santa claus everyone knows of how to do his job. Haru takes it in stride and adds that to her santa claus' backstory and acts accordingly from then on.

Reborn says he's there to make sure they were all really deserving of their presents. When they all look at tsuna's christmas tree, all the presents everyone got for christmas are suddenly sitting under it.

"reborn!" Tsuna shouts. "You can't just break into their houses and steal their presents!"

"I'm santa claus," reborn says. "Have you perhaps never heard of me before?"

"wow, santa!" Yams says. "You replicated our presents so well, they look just like the real things! You must have worked really hard on them."

"oooohhh," everyone else but tsuna says, taking it in stride.

Anyway that's how the Vongola's Christmas Family starts. They have to prove they've really been good kids this year to earn their presents back through various events. For one of them they have to build the most impressive snowman, so back to playing with the snow they go.

It goes well and normally for all of about 5 seconds. After that all bets are off, and it becomes more about stopping their opponents from building a decent snowman, and also about stealing snow from each other because there aren't enough around for everyone if they want to build the biggest snowman possible. Which at some point also became everyone's goal just because.

Another event is about decorating a christmas tree in the most aesthetically pleasing way. Surprisingly enough, both haru and kyoko have too much weird girl tastes about it to be at an advantage. Also surprisingly, chrome turns out to be very good at it, so along with Bianchi, they balance it out. I-pin can't fucking see the decorations they're even working with lmao, but she tries her best to help.

On the boys' side, both hibari and gokudera have very peculiar though very different tastes they're hell-bent on. It means they nitpick everything and argue about everything but aren't otherwise any kind of helpful. Lambo also isn't any kind of helpful because he's distracted by all the shiny, pretty decorations. Yams has no sense of aesthetic whatsoever and ryohei doesn't even have an opinion on it, so it falls on mukuro and tsuna to carry their team on their backs, with the help of fuuta's rankings.

Bianchi insists there just has to be a mistletoe event too. After all it's the season of love and everything. Tsuna's the one who ends up standing underneath it even if she was hoping it'd be reborn lol, and the first one to reach him is the one who gets to kiss him.

A very, very fierce and vicious and ugly battle ensues zjdkskks. But before anybody can start dying for real, reborn makes himself the winner. When tsuna goes to gingerly kiss him on the cheek per the rules of the game, even if it should be reborn who initiates the kiss, reborn kicks him in the face.

Wait, is that maybe too mean zhdkjskss?? 😭😂 Okay, let's back up a little. When tsuna goes to gingerly kiss him on the cheek, reborn makes leon kiss him on the mouth instead.

"what does this even have to do with proving we've been good kids?" Tsuna manages to ask at some point.

"are you questioning santa claus right now?" Reborn says. "Would a truly good kid do that?"

By the time they make it back inside for the second time, half of them are halfway through catching a cold. They warm themselves up under the kotatsu and with warm blankets while eating food and drinking warm drinks.

And that's the end of that because tsuna knows when and how to choose his battles lol.

Anyway once reborn has had enough fun at their expense, he declares everyone the winner with some excuse or another and calls it a day.

Things get chaotic again when it's time to open the presents, but they don't get out of hand. Before they do get out of hand again, and mukuro and hibari can leave before anyone else, they manage to all gather together long enough for a group picture.

They all had a really good time together. <3

And then they do it all over again for new year haha!!

[tojiscrack]

i literally shrieked when you uploaded like anyways IT WAS SO FUNYN WHEN MEGUMI SAW THAT GOOFY POSTER LMAOOO THE FACEAPP THING WAS SO FUNNY i just hope yn doesnt start cheering for kamo too or ill physically tweak (but also lowkey sounds sweet and cute???) no it doesnt but kinda sounds cute cause imagien kamo getting cheered on by her urghhhra but thats not cute thats disgusting, repulsive to think about.. mercupine endgame!

i doodled this on my 10th time of rereading this chapter (subtle malakai reference..)

AND GOJO BEING THE DIVA HE IS.. "you'll get over it," satoru called back cheerfully. - lowkey if i was that student i would not take that AND ALSO GOJO BEEFING WITH KAMO IS SO FUNNY LOLL then sukuna suddenly appears like huh?? really had to make these kids go through trauma in the LL universe too 😭 and erm the angst.. guys! MEGUMI BEING SAD MAKES ME SAD LIKE NOOOOO

"how come you were late?" SOTP STOP STPO STOP ITS ALL BECAUSE OF KAMOTIONLESS THAT DUMMY RGHH and megumi really hd to talk it out too thats how much it bothered him urhghh i swear if in the next chapter it gets worse and kamo keeps making moves a little part of me would die

but also would love kamo interactions that would be so cute

no it wouldnt

honestly i have mixed opinions on kamo like HES SO NICE AND CUTE AWWW LIKE YOU REALLY HVE A CUTE LITTLE CRUSH but also stfu

AND WHY IS SUKUNA SAYING HE KILLED US LIKE SHUT UP BOY

lowkey what im about to do to him if he doesnt leave these kids alone

at least gojo easily manhandled that ho THE CAR SCENE MIGHT BE MY FAVOURITE SCENE OF ALL TIME LMAOO

"i'll help you out."

he leaned over you, extending an arm grab a water bottle, presenting it to you with a bland face.

he felt the need to continue.

"you can drown him with your mermaid powers—"

"i know what you meant!"  I LOVE THIS SCENE SM THE MERMAID JOKE WILL NEVR DIE OUT HELP AND THE WAY HE STARTED EXPLAINING THE JOKE TOO LMAO

THIS WAS A QUICCK DOODLE I HAD TO DRAW IT CUZ IT WAS SO FUNNY (yujis dreaming about gojo stealing his pizza, cant even escape him from his dreams)

I HONESTLY WANT TO DRAW LIKE A GOOD COPY OF THE LL FRIEND GROUP BUT I ALSO HAVE TO LOCK IN FOR MATH FINALS (its in 2 weeks, i havent studied for the 2 free weeks of winter break which i couldve used to study <3) ILL DO IT AFTER AND MEGUMI AND HIS MOM URGHGHHRHAGH THAT IS SO FRAKING CUTE LIKE HE OPENED UP URHG URHG URGHURHGURH G THAT WAS LITERALLY SO CUTE AND TOJI BEING SOF TWITH ER UGH SHE JUST HAS THAT POWER OMG THAT WAS SO CUTE HGAURHGUHA I WILL NEVER STOP THINKING ABOUT IT THE BONUS SCENE WITH ALL 4 OF THEM LMAOO IM SURPRISED TOJI DIDNT START IMMIDIATELY BEATING SATORU UPLOLL SND THE APOLOGIES HELP MEGUMI BEING STUBBORN AND MERMAID BEING A YAPPER anyways ig i have to lock in... sigh... sigh... for math.. ig... ig i have to study... to not fail ig... sigh..... ANYWAYS T HANKS FOR FEEDING US READERS MWAH ILY AND UR WRITING

however im very scared for the next chapter... is the angst over yet? i swear if its like a lovey dovey scene with kamotionless ill crash out like no thanks u can keep that to urself and give me some mercupine!

BUT ANYWAYS LY, BYE FOR REAL THIS TIME!!

STOPP, YOU’VE ARRIVED WITH YOUR MEMES 😭💞

i was giggling and then DYING in my bed as i scrolled through ur ask, the random placement of memes everywhere is so funny to me 😭 so ty for that <3 💀

‘IT WAS SO FUNNY WHEN MEGUMI SAW THAT GOOFY POSTER’ — he would not be impressed if he heard you saying that btw 😟 but yes indeed, i agree, and i’m giddy that you enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it 😋

‘i just hope y/n doesn’t start cheering for kamo too or i’ll phvsicallv tweak’ — hang on there ☝🏽😐 don’t pull a malakai now 🤨

the way everyone hates kamo is actually beyond me 😭 like i still cringe at how i genuinely believed that everyone would be excited at his introduction/arrival, but instead, there’s this crazy level of hatred directed at him for just existing

AND THAT ART???

OMGGGG?? SHE’S SITTING ON HIS SHOULDERS EXACTLY AS I PICTURED IT AWWW 😫😫😫🫶🏽💕💞

it looks beautiful 😫‼️

‘AND GOJO BEING THE DIVA HE IS’ — can you tell i love writing him? 😋

‘AND ALSO GOJO BEEFING WITH KAMO IS SO FUNNY LOLL’ — OK BUT LIKE, JUST TO CLEAR SMTH UP, satoru’s not personally attacking kamo 🌝 like yeah, he’s definitely not in support of him being anywhere near y/n (atm) HOWEVER, he really was just commenting on player nine’s form and genuinely had no clue that kamo was beneath the helmet 😀

his ‘unsurprising’ comment came because of y/n’s immediate defence 💀

‘really had to make these kids go through trauma in the LL universe too’ — HANG ON, SUKUNA’S BEEN NERFED IN THIS VERSE AND YOU KNOW IT 🤨

‘"how come you were late?" STOP STOP STOP STOP IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF KAMOTIONLESS THAT DUMMY’ — 🌝 if we trace the whole tutoring stuff back, it’s actually nanami’s fault for pairing them up but no one’s gonna acknowledge that

‘i swear if in the next chapter it gets worse and kamo keeps making moves a little part of me would die’ — nooo don’t die, you’re too funny to die 🤘🏽😔 but anyway, i actually can’t remember what’s supposed to happen next chapter so i’m gonna check my notes after this LMAOO 😭

‘honestly i have mixed opinions on kamo’ — DKM, 98% OF THIS ASK WAS JUST HATING ON KAMO 😭😭😭

sukuna was also saying he killed y/n just for the sake of it 💀 like he was trying to speak it into existence and it wasn’t working, PLUS he enjoys being disruptive for no reason

(ALSO WTH IS THAT MEME BAHAHHAHAHA)

‘THE CAR SCENE MIGHT BE MY FAVOURITE SCENE OF ALL TIME’ — SINSSIJSJS YAY? I LOVE IT WHEN THE COMEDY SCENES END UP BEING SOMEONE’S FAVOURITE 🥳😋

AHHHHH ANOTHER DRAWING? YOU’RE SPOILING MEEE 😫🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

don’t water it down to just a ‘doodle’, it’s literally a master piece 🥹 it’s like a mini comic of the scene! 😋 i love it sm awww

‘I HONESTLY WANT TO DRAW LIKE A GOOD COPY OF THE LL FRIEND GROUP BUT I ALSO HAVE TO LOCK IN FOR MATH FINALS’ — no ‘cause this is me, but with writing :( i didn’t study as much as i should have during the christmas break, and now i’m so unbelievably behind, it’s concerning 😟 but absolutely! as much as i tell you to draw more LL art ‘cause it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside, i would hate for that to be the reason you fail ur exams so study for ur maths exam!!! i’m sure you’ll do really well 🫶🏽

‘AND MEGUMI AND HIS MOM URGHGHHRHAGH’ — you have NO IDEA how glad i am to see that you liked that scene ‘cause it was gonna be cut from the draft 😭 like i was playing around with different ways the conversation would have gone, and ‘cause we have no canon source material of megumi and his mum ever speaking to one another, i was just doing what i imagined it’d be like if she were alive in the canon verse (i whole heartedly believe that megumi would be a brat, but a mama’s boy).

‘I’M SURPRISED TOJI DIDNT START IMMEDIATELY BEATING SATORU UP’ — oh he tried 🌝 with all the years satoru and suguru have tag-team and 2v1’d him (led mainly by satoru, the menace) he’s learnt good defence moves 💀

and mamaguro stepped in immediately 🥴 told him to be calm and then that’s when the military line up happened LMAO

‘MEGUMI BEING STUBBORN AND MERMAID BEING A YAPPER’ — oh there was sm more written for it (specifically when y/n was placed in the room with satoru as his punishment) but i had to cut it short for word count purposes 😔 it’ll probably be shown in an extra oneshot tho! <3

‘anyways ig i have to lock in...’ — the realest reaction ever ☹️ it’s 5:14pm and i said i’d revise when it got to 5:15 but now 5:15 is here so i’m pushing it to 5:30 instead 😁

and now we’re here, made it to the end of my response to you :(

i want to thank you for this super long message! not only did it make me laugh (for multiple reasons, i might add — the memes being the main one) but it was like a warm hug 😫 i love love loveee long and juicy messages to unpack, it makes me feel sm closer to my readers, and the feedback allows me to produce chapters which ik you’ll be more invested in! <3

TY SM FOR UR BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGS TOO, THEY WERE DEFINITELY THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY GLOOMY DAY SO FAR 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

[alexanderlightweight]

You know what I rarely see? In the show after wooing Alec, Magnus is not shown as overly invested and it always appears as Alec reaching/apologizing/moving the pair along. Which was definitely a writing/directing choice. But what I’d like to prompt if it suits you, is Magnus being the one to apologize or to reassure Alec that he is important and not temporary-I’m team immortal but this convo certainly should happen. I liked the way you had Alec be angry in that prompt fill about his birthday and Magnus had to own up to that. If this isn’t your thing no big deal! Hope the weather is nice where you are and nightshade has enough pets and treats for the day!

i believe in 'no partner is perfect' and while i don't tend to write the angstier couple stuff 'i like my malec happy' i don't mind occasionally dipping my toes into partner angst (with an immortal happy ending)

this particular fic isn't about about immortality but it's about haing two people who have fundamentally different lifestyles having a miscommunication that devolves and while the argument is based on the show scene, it doesn't follow it perfectly. nor is the actual argument written. just the aftermath.

my thoughts are that magnus tries to spoil alec in season two still but it's more intimate and offscreen and he sort of in season 3a but magnus relies heavily n his magic to spoil alec and he kind of is spiraling all of season 3 tbh. they just really were sprinkling angst on malec like it was salt and they realized the show was bland.

all they did was get oversalted content which got salty fans, since they forgot to add actual herbs and spices.

it's a bloody hot day okay. i love the sun as much -nevermind apparently this is a lie-

so i don't hate the sun okay. i enjoy sunshine in specific environments. the sun is not a tyrant devoid of compassion.

anyways i live in a desert because its whats best for the people i love but give me mist and foggy days and give me winters of waist deep snow i can fall in. oceans so cold your lips go blue and rivers so deep and clear and still cold with melting ice.

if people are going to send me 8-10 feet to the bottom of the lake because they lost their electronics. it better be cold and clear. not warm and murky. (this has only happened 3 times but i have a preference).

So I made Say breakfast and nightshade breakfast and then I made @saeths breakfast a few hours later so i made an extra egg for nightshade to tempt him to eat another bowl of kibble.

so i fed nightshade twice and forgot to make any eggs for myself ^_^ so he is plenty spoiled (don't worry his egg was made without cheese and salt).

also the reason i'm awake is because he needed snuggles and after that he wanted to play in the pool and then i was too awake to bother

but that's our wednesday so far and i'm getting my work out of the way so i can focus on writing and house things.

<3 lumine

-

Magnus is ready with another quick retort when Alec’s face goes blank for a moment.

The argument fades from Magnus’ mind in an instant, because while this is the perfect moment to land another barb, the words die and his sentence stops, ending with a snide comment he doesn’t really mean.

“That’s fine Magnus.” Alec says and he’s not angry, which is worse. He sounds tired and yet professional. His manner restrained and placating in the way he does when he no longer has any fight left and he just wants to retreat and lick his wounds.

Wounds that Magnus caused.

“Alexander—” Magnus starts, because he didn’t intend to get so upset but Alexander just shakes his head.

“You’ve said your piece, Magnus. I get it.” Alexander sighs and runs a hand through his hair as he shuffles. “I messed up, again.”

Magnus winces, because he’s begun to feel more like a scolding mentor than a partner.

“I need to get to the Institute—” which makes sense, the argument started as they both got ready for their days. “I’ll—” and Alec hesitates and then shrugs, “I’ll see you tonight.”

—

Magnus waits until it’s dinner time and then portals to the Institute, already preparing words to once again explain that it’s not Alexander, it’s just not time yet.

He opens the door to the office without knocking and steps in.

“Alexander—” Magnus starts and then he hesitates.

Because for once, Alexander’s eyes don’t soften when they meet his. They remain cold, devoid of the warm ardor they normally contain but once again, without anger. Only an empty tiredness that Magnus longs to chase away.

“Do you have an appointment today, Magnus?” Alexander asks, setting down his pen and turning off his tablet with a sigh. Even upset Alexander will still give him his full attention and Magnus steps closer to the desk when Alexander continues, “because I’m sorry, but I don’t have time for a meal, or a conversation if it’s not official. So, if you don’t have an appointment, it needs to wait until I’m off.”

Alexander doesn’t mention coming home like he normally does, and Magnus suddenly misses it, with a deep lonely ache.

It also reminds Magnus that despite how often Alexander drops everything to join him, his boy is being worked to the ground and also driving himself to his limits in his pursuit of building a better Institute. Alexander is struggling to create ties between an Institute and local downworld leaders that would be revolutionary, with a sincerity that is unmatched by anything Magnus has ever seen.

Of course, he’s exhausted, and Magnus feels hollow now, remembering their fight all over again with a new clarity.

“No darling, it’s nothing official. I’ll see you tonight—” Magnus pauses, wanting to offer to summon Alec something to eat or drink, but it feels too much like an emotional bribe with how shuttered his boy is. Alexander nods and gives him the same perfunctory, polite smile he gives his siblings when he’s too exhausted to deal with them and doesn’t know what else to do.

It cuts Magnus to the heart to have that same expression directed at him, when he’s supposed to be safe for Alexander.

Magnus can’t handle the idea of reaching out only to be shied away from, so he runs from the possibility and instead summons a tiny flower to land by Alexander’s pen when the door shuts.

No one in the Institute seems to notice anything is wrong. Magnus gets a few strange looks, but he quickly realizes that it’s because everyone expected Alexander to be leaving with him, like his boy usually does.

Magnus feels cold and it’s with determination that he sends out an emergency message.

—

“I became stagnant in my old, single age.” Magnus bemoans, “I spent so long on my heartbreak that now, with a man I adore over every living being, I keep pushing him away.”

“Truth potion?” Catarina offers but Magnus shakes his head. Alexander deserves Magnus explaining this without the aid of something to help his thoughts form, even if it’s a trick Magnus has used continually and without remorse on himself.

This is different though because Magnus wants to become aware of what is wrong, not rely on a potion to figure it out.

“He wants to move in.” Magnus starts, about to launch into it when Cat laughs, interrupting him.

“What do you mean he wants to, he already has. Or did you just move him in on the sly and forget to ask him if he wanted to?”

“Cat—” Magnus says hesitantly, “he’s never moved in. He’s the one who brought it up. I told him no.”

Catarina pauses and then she sighs, and she summons her favorite, light summer beer and pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Start from the beginning, Magnus. I need details.”

Magnus does, realizing things that he missed as he’s explaining so many details that he just assumed and took for granted.

“I did wonder that the Loft hasn’t changed much. It seems more like Alec’s an addition to your things rather than his own person.”

It’s that comment that drives Magnus into a frenzy the moment he’s home.

Magnus doesn’t go overboard; Alexander wouldn’t want him to. Also springing this on his boy after the prior rejection will be too much like whiplash.

So, Magnus starts very small.

He finally creates the foyer he promised himself and Alexander he would make.

Alexander’s never pushed but Magnus remembers the tightening of his shoulders and the way Alexander will be too tired for anything but cuddles — rarely even hungry — after barrages of people through the loft.

The kitchen he only summons when Alexander asks, which is rare, so he makes it a permanent fixture and makes sure to hang an apron with little angel wings up. It’s with a pained smile that he sighs and wonders when he got so old that he forgot to enjoy life, and instead spent all his time focused on the past, just like Ragnor always warned him about.

Magnus doesn’t want to regret any time with Alexander, and he finds that he already does.

Not the time spent with his boy, but the time he could have focused on him more.

Magnus has spent so long protecting himself from losing Alexander, that he hasn’t noticed that he’s pushing him away, stopping him from coming too close.

Except Magnus has also bound him tightly.

Alexander sleeps more often in Magnus’ bed than his own. He’s rerouted his own schedule so he can take the last patrol before shift change, come to Magnus’ loft, write his report there and send it in, and be in bed for Magnus to return to.

Except for work, Alexander spends the majority of his daily life either in the loft, or with Magnus.

There are signs of him, all over the loft, but Magnus can’t look at a single piece and think, “Alexander picked that out.”

It aches in way that is almost visceral, because now that Alexander isn’t here, it’s only more obvious.

Magnus is chest deep in a drawer when he becomes aware of his boy stepping slowly into the bedroom.

“Is this a bad time?” Alexander’s tired voice asks. “I noticed there was a new door and tried to knock but the door just opened.”

Magnus wants to say something except he’s furious with himself and everything and the idea that Alexander saw a new door and knocked instead of walking right in, tears something in him.

They stare at each other for a moment, Magnus with his hands still wrist deep in the dimensional dresser, sure he’ll eventually find more than the sparse offering of Alexander’s clothes that he has.

“Where are all the clothes that you leave here?” Magnus asks instead of answering because he genuinely doesn’t know, “I was cleaning, and I couldn’t find them.”

Alexander sighs and Magnus just knows that he’s gearing himself up to — once again — explain to Magnus that it’s not about the clothes, before his boy visibly gets too tired. Instead, he just shrugs and potions to the paltry pile that Magnus has found.

“You have more than that!” Magnus exclaims, frustrated because he knows Alexander does. “That green shirt I got you that you loved. And those pants, the black ones with the umber stitching. The cream sweater I adore you in! That suit I had tailored for you in Milan and the other one in Hong Kong.”

Alexander sighs and he rubs a hand over his face, the stubble he normally shaves away in Magnus— in their bathroom, shadowing his face.

“Magnus, those don’t exist anymore.” Alexander doesn’t seem upset, if anything his face softens into an almost reluctant fondness, “you tend to vanish all the clothing you get me, some way or another. Mostly before fucking me. I tried to ask you one time where they went and you waved a hand and said, ‘another dimension, nothing to worry about’.”

“Surely that’s not all I said.” Magnus protests weakly.

“Well, you proceeded to fuck me unconscious so no, it wasn’t the last thing you said. But it was the last thing you said abut clothes.”

Magnus gives a flat chuckle and then sighs, snapping his fingers to clean up the mess.

“Have you eaten?”

“I figured I could grab something from the cafeteria when I head back. It’s fine.”

It most certainly is not fine, but Magnus doesn’t think coaxing Alexander into eating is going to work this time, which means that Magnus has accidentally undone weeks of effort.

Magnus doesn’t press, doesn’t remind Alexander that he can here. Or that, if by normal standards Alexander stays until he usually leaves Magnus, it would be the early evening of the next day.

“So, you were cleaning.”

Alexander is looking around, voice faltering but face devoid of actual emotions.

“I realized some things, after this afternoon.” Magnus admits slowly, “you’re the first person I opened my heart to, Alexander. In a very long time, I’ve told you that before.”

Normally, explaining things is easier but all Magnus can think is he’s not explaining it correctly.

“I know. But Magnus, you’re the first person I’ve ever opened my heart to.” Alexander interjects and he sounds raw and broken, like he’s been torn apart. “Doesn’t that get to mean anything too, to you? Because I don’t know what I’m doing, and you told me that there was nothing wrong with that. That I had nothing to feel ashamed about but now, it doesn’t feel like that.

"It feels like I can’t do anything right and I thought, I hoped something was coming together with us but now—” Alexander gives a heavy sigh and shrugs. “Now I don’t even know what I am to you anymore. Where do I belong, in your life Magnus? If you tell me where to fit, I’ll make it work.”

And that breaks Magnus’ heart, because Alexander was never meant to feel like he had to cut off pieces of himself to ensure Magnus loves him, that he has a place in Magnus’ life.

“Oh darling, beloved.” He murmurs and Alexander flinches, like it was a knife to his side. “You belong. The entirety of you. You belong in my bed because it’s no longer just my bed. How can I say it’s my bed when I lay in it without you and can’t sleep? When I reach for you in the night and can’t find you?” Magnus moves across the room with slow, purposeful steps and then reaches out to carefully — only because Alexander allows it — cups his face.

“Alexander, I have no excuses. My heart is old, and it is scarred and it is a wonder that you love me with all the cracks you’ve seen exposed. I don’t fear men or demons or angels, Alexander. I fear my heart being torn from my body and leaving me alive, an empty hollow cavern where it should be in the shape of you.

“I’ve always been too much, Alexander. I put my own fears on you, not that you deserved any of it, sweetheart. You’re right. I am your first relationship, and you grew up and live in a shadowhunter society. The relationships you've witnessed aren't similar to ours at all.

"You trust me to guide our relationship but I’m always encouraging you to ask me for things and you rarely do. I’m sorry, that you finally trusted me enough to ask me for something and that I broke that trust.”

And Alexander breaks, his eyes filling with tears and he coughs, scrubbing over his eyes because he hates being emotional during talks like these. As if Magnus will use the crystal sorrow streaking his face against him.

“I don’t understand.” Alexander murmurs against Magnus’ shoulder, “I thought this was already my home, here with you. I don’t know what I did wrong, I’m sorry Magnus.”

“Oh sayang.” Magnus whispers, eyes stinging because his heart is lanced every time Alexander apologizes. “You did nothing wrong. My heart was too scared to admit that you already were home for us, I pushed you away because I panicked. I’m sorry, my darling.”

Magnus is as tender and sincere as he can be, because he doesn’t want Alexander internalizing anything over this. Especially not when he realized that for Alexander, the loft already was home and he just wanted permission, for it to be official.

It’s endearing and sweet and Magnus presses a kiss to Alexander’s temple, softly and then harder when Alexander pushes into the caress.

"This is already your home. Where ever I am, will be your home." Magnus promises, "that will never change, my love. This is our space, for us to grow together and live together in.

Instead, Alexander tackles him to the bed and just lays there, pinning Magnus to the comforter as he snuggles into Magnus.

"Alexander?"

There is no answer, just a soft, exhausted snuffle and Magnus wonders how upset Alexander's been, thinking he was deprived of the home Magnus gave him.

He uses magic to change their clothing. More conversations and decisions can be made after rest and well, Alexander certainly isn't going anywhere and neither is Magnus.

[may-bee-its-just-me]

Mmm i *love* winter but...

Welcome to another life update woah...really just more of a minor vent about current situation. :]

...Sooo my house's furnace crapped out on us shortly before christmaaaas...and we haven't had heat since. My mom hired an older guy to come fix it a few days after christmas - he tried, it worked for a (singular) day and then crapped out again. .-. FIrst because my mom doesnt technically have the money to replace the furnace - Second, after my mom decided to use money she'll need very soon for the heat, we found out he's gotten sick. Like, cold/flu type sick but because he's elderly, he may have to get some extra help for it and will definitely need a good bit of recovery time before he can even come back to take another look (and subsequently order the part/parts/whole ass furnace needed so we can wait another weekish for it to arrive).

so basically

im not gonna have heat in home for another few weeks, probably.

in the middle of winter....in Northeastern US...and the kicker? the first night without heat was THE coldest day/night of the season so far in my state (to my knowledge), and we have since had multiple snowy days (not horribly, thank God. Only one day was bad enough i almost couldnt go to work) and most days have been sub freezing temps through the daytime. Thankfully, our home is not THAT cold, but we needed to get a space heater for the living room where our rabbits are to keep it from getting too cold for them there.

Thankfully also, my one brother already had a heated blanket, i have a heated pad (that i had abandoned until this incident and had not yet discared), and my little brother can sleep on the couch with the space heater. Its not much, its still uncomfortably cold ,but we are able to make-do for the time being.

It just makes focusing on much of anything difficult to keep up with ^^; and also makes staying asleep through the night hard. My heating pad shuts itself off after 2 hrs, so eventually that nice toasty goodness on my chest or legs fades into the unforgiving cold of "frick you for trying to be comfortable" so i keep waking up every couple of hours to turn the pad back on. I'll be in a pinch if this pad breaks from overuse or if i break it while asleep with it :']

Speaking of sleep though...

After seeing a video from a girl in TN i'd been watching clean her family's home and trying to make it liveable, share videos of her house having burned down completely after a leak caused an electrical fire - and after seeing news of the wildfires in CA;

I had a dream last night that while i was out with my family having a grand ol time (and feeling anxious over something i couldnt place), we came home in the evening to see the upper floor of the house in flames. .-. Which had me waking up both upset from watching my childhood home (and all my art history in it) burn with no funds to start over, and also paranoid that my house too might have a ticking time bomb problem.

So this, and other reasons, make sleep REALLY not my friend the last few weeks.

I dont know if i mentioned it here before, but im also 99% sure i have a condition called Reynaud's Syndrome because 1. My mom has it, 2. its hereditary, and 3. her symptoms for it line up with mine (she thought i was also officially diagnosed, but i looked at my records and i dont think so unless im looking in the wrong place). Regardless of diagnosis - My hands and feet are sensitive to temperature extremes, particularly cold, and this has caused extra stiffness in my fingers, pain in my hands at times unrelated to or exaggerating my other pain issues, and also has my digits lookin kinda zombie-ish at times (reynauds causes discoloration at times). Thankfully, I'm also not in a flare up for my reynauds, which has happened while at work before this, so my experience typically is mild and has been through this ordeal. I do experience worse symptoms while working and being exposed to the outside cold and wind in bits, then returning to room temp/warmer air and having the flip flop cause weirder symptoms, all of which are a side tangent.

I'm mostly doing fine otherwise tho

My boyfriend-not boyfriend (the boyfriend that broke up with me ish but we've still been friends and clearly were still interested and didnt really want to split) took me back up as his on new years, making a childhood dream come true (I had my first new years kiss tee hee). I'm also working on a project that may or may not be finished in time to submit it to a contest. I did actually buy a car a (few?) month(s?) ago now, i think i said that here before. Trying not to succumb to the feeling that I'll be stuck in a never ending cycle of everything more personal going on that i will not be traumadumping here while also preparing to celebrate and reflect on 4 years post choosing life over death very shortly (Yay me).

I've been learning to not care as much about the opinions of those around me. I've also been learning to get back in touch with my inner child because dammit she deserves a chance to live and breathe. I'm learning that writing poetry is something I want to explore more, and I'm learning that I actually do like drawing myself and I like to explore personal themes and inner struggles through drawing myself in new inventive ways (and making an experimental drawing out of it). I'm learning to be comfortable in my changing body while still understanding that some of my habits are unhealthy and, when I have the control to do so, should be altered. I'm learning to give myself grace, and through giving myself grace and room to breathe, its easier to do so for others.

Lots of good stuff with the bad ^^

but im gonna end my ramble here

Update's over, goodnight, everybody go home.

-Bee