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i think i need to get back to translating so i could keep my emotions and my thoughts in check. get my mind off things. or else i'd really break down one of these days.
#my post#breaking down is one of the worst#when you havent done so for a long time#i guess that's why my emotions are unstable again#i need a good cry ngl#so i could at least have some control again#sometimes i start to think if im seriously mentally ill#maybe i am#i just dont want to be diagnosed lol
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Smash your competition, baby
Open for higher resolution Credit to @neon-garbage-angel for the idea Close-ups, explanation, design, and extras below the break
So there I was, innocently scrolling Tumblr on a Monday when someone reblogs a post of mine. I go to look and find tags on my Judas piece that immediately katapult me into this piece and, as is tradition for me, listening to the song that inspired this piece on repeat until I was done. Due to stuff, that took three whole days. I want to extend a formal thanks and a formal please I will never get this song out of my head, thank you for that but I also hate you a little bit /j to @neon-garbage-angel for introducing me to Gladiator by Jann. This is canon to me now.
And because I couldn't decide while I was drawing, I did a version where Viktor still has his long hair. However, when I was doing the design sheet and really thought hard about my decisions, the short-haired version makes more sense so that one got the top spot. But have the other version anyway!
Here are some promised close-ups because this thing got intricate. I should've known. I was surprised anyway.
And then last but certainly not least: Me being back on my bullshit! Here, have an extremely cramped design sheet! (I apologise to anyone using a screen reader in advance, I'll try my best with the ALT YuY)
#i had so much fun with this you have no idea#the absolute best#havent had this much fun drawing in a long time#thank you neon for giving me the most lovely prompt#your brain is a gift#so i can confidently say that im very happy with this piece as it stands rn#i think this might be the best piece ive ever done#there are flaws id rather forget forever but oh well when are there not#the amount of time i got to spend rendering hair was GLORIOUS and im so happy#i would like to thank viktor for canonically having long hair#best decision in all of anime truly#reblog#yuri on ice#yuri on ice fanart#fanart#art#arom antix art#arom antix#viktor nikiforov
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Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me
#i still cant believe how much this new opening theme goes off.... DREAM SAVE ALL OF US 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH 💥💥💥💥💥💥#wait a second. the robot attacked 200 years ago. the void century was 800 years ago no????? what#oh see it was made 900 years ago.... but why did it attack 200 years ago then.... what happened#it is still so funny how they made evegapunk einstein but with some cunty long legs#200 years ago they gave rights to the gyojin!!! i see i see ✍️✍️also i still wonder why law and kuma have similar hat and pants designs#like there is NO WAY that much similarity isnt done on purpose. NO FUCKING WAY!!! I NEED ANSWERS!!!#are they annihliating cp ships akdhakskd yeah vegapunk letsgo#also the opening song is about dreams and the end one is about luffy reaching shanks...... havent got a clue why but there it is#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1098#also is lucci named lucci bc it kinda sounds like luffy. SERAPHIM KUMA HAS HIS DEVIL FRUIT???? vegapunk could only make zoan fruits????#also wdym when cp0 acts it means its some historic event. lucci is like 25. where are the experienced people here#sentomaru works for vegapunk??? maybe i forgor about this tbh also do theu have a doffy seraphim??? the fact they have animal names....#stussy letting kaku get hurt akdhsjsn oh atlas has lamb ears..... and lucci said she is is prey... no..... the foresahdowing :(#lucci you fucked up she just gave luffy food... that a death sentence look what happened to kaido#episode 1099#<- oh my god btw. god. jesus.#why is akainu telling the cp0 what to do or thinks he can do that... thats the world gov... also thinkng about how garp should fight him#and not luffy.... because of ace you know... i still wonder how did sengoku know who ace's father was... there is only one man who knew....#everyone trying to stop them from fighting ajdhsksjks two rabid dogs fr#LUFFY TAKING OFF HIS JACKET WHEN LUCCI ASKS FOR HIS WANTED SIGN!!!! GO OFF KING!!!! SLAY!!! THE CREW SAW HIM!!! FINALLY!!!#i have been smiling since he started the transformation this is so sick...... i have got a case of the luffy brain#zoan fruits steal the personality of the user when they awaken ✍️✍️ luffy???? nami being the only one who saw gear 5 <3 twins manifesto#robin being so shook about luffy being a god ajdbjansk wdym devil fruits exist because people wish for them. fairy magic real????#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE FROM ALTERNATE REALITIES WHERE SOMEONE DREAMT ABOUT THEM??? DOES HE TRAVEL THRU REALITIES FOR THEM???#jinbe has been making this face 😧 every episode three times it is amazing ajdhaksnsk poor man... now he sees a kid angel version of himself#after seeing hia captain turn into a god... he is gonna get a stroke OMG SENTOMARU WE JUST GOT YOU BACK#episode 1100#<- CRAZY. INSANE. OH GOD. ONLY 12 LEFT. THATS A WEEKEND!!! I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Lately I've been missing my family a bit and I have to keep reminding myself how much I wanted to die literally every day while sharing a house with them lmao like it's. Wild how easy that is to forget
#its....complicated#because i cant hold a grudge against anybody for long#and like. ive done a FUCKTON of soul searching and self analysis since then and i know i did things wrong too#and its. so so easy to just let all that blame and guilt fall on myself#but i cant do thar#because it *wasnt* all me. somebody doesnt try to kill themself multiple times jist for kicks there HAS to be a motovator#and yeah that was my mother lmao no two ways about it#but its...foggy. ive had almost 2 years without her and im losing some of the dread#which is good but at the same time. idk. i guess something something when you carry pain as a part of yoy for so long#its difficult to put it down#theres certain conversations i havent read since they happened but maybe i should just to remind myself#like...i left for a reason. i cut ties for a reason.#i need to remember that
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anyway. it’s been a rough week
#on my last day of my family vacation and like… it was awful. emotionally#my family are so fucked up lmao and i barely got to talk to either of my sisters bc they both brought plus ones :) :)#and i’m still reeeeeeeling from one of my best friends from college revealing she had a full on affair w a coworker a few years ago#while she was living w her gf… and the fact she kept it secret from me for sooooo fucking long like come on#it explains everything it explains why i havent felt close to her in years there was always this between us. and in all that time the amount#of convos we had abt feeling disconnected and me thinking maybe even I had done something or failed somehow. NOPE!! she’s been lying to me#for years :)))) and years :)) and this isn’t even the first time she’s kept a huge secret LOL#AND. oh my god. my current roommate is finally at the end of her abusive relationship and is actively suicidal rn#she’s watching my cats alone while telling ppl she doesnt care if she lives or dies.. girl no offense but you HAVE to survive one more day#for the sake of my fucking cat. bitch. so i have to deal w that when i get home and it’s going to take up all my time. i just know it#UGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AND I STILL CANT FIND A THERAPIST!!!! ive been without one since mine quit being a therapist a year ago#😖😖😖😖😖😖😖 pray for me lmao!
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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i get so fucking mad and incellic about vocaloid its not even funny
#I HOLD MY TONGUE. BECAUSE I WONT BE A PUBLIC MENACE I WONT BE A PUBLIC MENACE I WONT BE A PUBLIC MENACE#BUT I AM UNIRONICALLY A FUCKING CRANKY OLD MAN#GRINDING MY FUCKING TEETH I SWEAR TO GOD.......#me when i literally help run a project sekai youtube channel and i genuinely think project sekai has done irreparable damage to society#i hate that fucking game yes i play it yes i am continuing to train (still a scrub rn im tryna get my 32s down)#but its not me being an anti fan or cute or whatever when i say i hate that game#i Genuinely Hate It.#i hate what it stands for i hate what its done to vocaloid community i hate how it doesnt respect the classics i hate the fucking humans i#HATE FUCKING EVERYTHING#I LIKE PLAYING THE GAME BECAUSE IM A RHYTHM GAMER BUT OHHHH MY GOD#NO FUCKING RESPECT. NO *FUCKING* RESPECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ITS BEEN HOW LONG AND YOU STILL HAVENT ADDED A SINGLE LAMAZE P SONG?#NO DEADBALL P?#WHERES SAIHATE. WHERES SING & SMILE. WHERES VOC@LOID IN LOVE?!?!?!?#TO MY MEMORY I REMEMBER LUKA LUKA NIGHT FEVER WAS ADDED BECAUSE IT WON A FAN POLL ASKING FANS WHAT SONGS THEY WANT ADDED TO THE GAME.....#YOU TELLING ME IF IT DIDNT WIN YOU WOULDNT HAVE ADDED IT ASAP? ITS A HOOD CLASSIC!!!!#i hate it i hate how theres humans so when they commission songs they HAVE to make the songs able to be sung by humans#BECAUSE THEY NEED TO MAKE SURE FUCKING MAFUYU OR WHATEVER CAN SING THAT SHIT#I HATE IT I HATE HOW WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY LIKE PROJECT SEKAI 80% OF THE TIME THEY DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE VOCALOIDS#AND CARE ABOUT ONLY THE FUCKING HUMANS!!!#DO ANY OF YOU PEOPLE CARE ABOUT HESOKURI WARS?#DOES ANYBODY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT LUKAS TUNA!!!!! DOES ANYBODY CARE ABOUT RINS TACTOR?#now everybody who likes vocaloid doesnt even know kiyoteru. YOU GUYS ALL KNOW KAAI YUKI BUT NOT KIYOTERU?!? BITCH HE COMES IN LIKE A PAIR#WITH HER#WHO YOU THINK KAAI YUKIS SCHOOL TEACHER IS?#i hate project sekai so much it has such a bad heart#i hit 30 tag limit getting started talking about pvs oh my lord im sorry i said i wouldnt say anything and exploded#this is the tip of the iceberg though okay guys im sorry i am a fucking freak about vocaloid#didnt even talk about how modern vocaloid also has greatly shifted its songs to be abt ocs rather than the vocaloids in aus n shit which is#fine in balance. but the shift is too great imo it feels like vocaloid is being used as a gimmick rather than apart of the songs soul
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fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
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everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn
#self#for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school#and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt#trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house#for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO#and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time#i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it#is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication#which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it#but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can#and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar#but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely#on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment#her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way#i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to#hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very#honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer#regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend#i am not the person who put that shit in your folder#though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is#and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building#that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months#yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you#AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not#im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that#shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything#so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything
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one thing i really appreciate about svsss is that with anyone else in shen yuans role?
the system's lbh mood ring points (satisfaction, heartbreak, etc) would be considered an invasion of privacy more than the whole transmigration thing already is or at least a source of valuable insight but instead
its shen yuan. if anything the mood ring reveals make him more confused
#(wiping away tears) hes so stupid#no but really the ways in which mxtx crafts her narration to share info with/withhold info from her audience is SO fascinating#*are#and to do it w/out breaking suspension of disbelief! shes so talented!#like theres so many examples!#the systems mood ring points making many of lbhs feelings/motivations obvious#(or at least comprehensive enough to be follow-able)#to the audience while still portraying sy's obliviousness as genuine and understandable#all of the hints as to hua chengs identity that make you think youve figured it out long before xie lian only to discover that#1. hes known for ages and just didnt mention it even tho HES LITERALLY THE NARRATOR?#2. we as the audience arent even told when he figured it out. we find out that he knows at the same time hua cheng does#(<- this also happens a bit w nan feng and fu yao. we Know but does xie lian know? yes he just doesnt care.)#its like the jkr 'it wasnt mentioned bc it wasnt relevant to harrys story' thing but CLEVER AND TRUE AND ON PURPOSE#i havent read mdzs yet but based on what ive seen & on cql a similar thing is done w wwx&lwj solving a murder mystery#theyre revealing what happened while wwx was dead to the cultivation world and the audience but also much of what happened when he was alive#(tho most of what happened when he was alive the first time is only revealed to the audience)#like i know mxtx is hardly the first author to do this but like. i just enjoy it so much?#anyway thats all i love her#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#svsss#tgcf#cql#mdzs#mxtx#✌️
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@fishshit I consider your post canon so I made it
Edit: I FOUND IT
Edit 2: Yakov trauma
Edit 3: I lied, here's the design rant
Edit 4: Updated design!
#i cant find the original post T_T#im going to search your entire blog if i have to#i will find it#anyway in the mean time heres something that started as a sketch and then went completely out of control and i am not sorry#i am beyond repentance you could say#it took me at least three tries to spell that word right on the illustration and english can go die#viktor deserves to be dramatic as fuck#yakovs aura was made of retirement papers when viktor showed him this#especially when viktor added that “oh by the way ill be wearing a big ass luxury designer fur coat” and then skated away#have fun deciphering the meaning behind all my design choices#for once i will not rant about them#ruins the fun#but if youre interested i do have a breakdown ready at your leasure#im sorry ive been listening to the song for hours now while drawing this and it just fits viktor so well i cannot#this is canon in my heart#arom antix art#arom antix#art#yuri on ice#yoi#yuri on ice fanart#yoi fanart#fanart#viktor nikiforov#also i am so sorry the mukbang comic is taking so long i swear i havent forgotten#some of it is done but its far from finished but itll happen#im going to finish it and you can quote me on that and come to my house and whack me with a newspaper until i do it if you want to#collab#religious imagery
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love my digital art class but god it is filling me with rage and hatred for adobe.
#my post#i hope im able to use my tablet in classes when i transfer#bc good lord. this shit is impossible#i would be done with this project already .. but im not even halfway through.#its due on friday too and i cant get adobe illustrator on my laptop and work on it outside class bc adobe wont fucking COOPERATE WITH ME.#its trying to make me pay. girl the school is already paying for it for me what the hell are you talking about. let me in#i should talk to the professor..oogh but theres so much other stuff i havent done for either of the classes i have with this professor#bc of that unnecessarily long quarantine i had to do right at the beginning of the semester putting me behind#and i would feel bad abt asking for an extension for whats basically the only assignment ive actually done for both of their classes#i would feel less bad i think if i had accommodations for this kinda stuff. but i never actually went to get any and now it wouldnt be worth#it bc im not gonna be at this school next semester. and i only have these two classes that i have anything to do for#oh right this post is abt adobe#.. i dont think id be able to fully finish this assignment on time even with an extension#bc adobe illustator. like i said. is filling me with rage#it is so tedious and finicky and unnecessarily complicated and doesnt have the tools i like and i cant find a fill tool or how to make the#eraser smaller and im using a fucking. mouse. a mouse that i cant right click with btw bc we're using apple computers and the mice are lite#rally just one button.#i love this professor and i enjoy the projects but good GOD. i hate the tools so much#maybe ill ask them for an extension and if i could do it. not on adobe
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#WHY DOES IT ALL HAVE TO BE SO MUCH#i don't usually get like this. im usually a kind of person that just lets stuff happen around me and not care a lot in terms of like social#behavior and relationships#you meet people. sometimes they go#that's how it is#there's people that we just drifted away or they vanished and it wasn't hard feelings#and normally i get over it. i miss them alot but it doesnt hit me this hard#and the thing is i haven't even lost anyone#it's just ive been so angry and low energy and pissed off by everything all the time that ive been distancing myself#and even when im not like that.. im just tired. my brain is clouded i just don't have anything to say#i want to say something but there isnt anything#so i havent been talking to a lot of people#and im like really afraid by the time im done working over whatever this is. that people will have found more other people they#prefer to talk to more or are closer with or we just find out its been too long and we dont have anything in common anymore#because i know ive been away from my friends more and more of late of late ive barely talked to anyone at all beyond 1-2 message exchanges#sometimes not at all .this isn't abnormal#but i happen to the kind of person who crumples if i don't get some kind of interaction daily#so as much as im empty-headed and angry and bad at conversation i need to be around people constantly#at the end of the day i don't have anything going on outside of drawing and talking to friends. i have nowhere to be in real life#i cant go anywhere. i don't know anyone and i hate my family#i don't know. im scared and lonely and it feels like i can be kind of a nothing person to talk to#dib noise#some of this is problems with myself which i do work on and i work on them hard. i don't want to be like that#i'm bad at meeting people too. i don't like taking risks or new things its all so much#I SHOULD CLARIFY. i am happy for poeple i am close to when they meet new people. i love hearing about them#and meeting them. i just have a horrible fear of being replaced or forgotten
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scavenger reputation sure is confusing
#my posts#gameblogging#liveblogging rain world#im currently playing as rivulet and its been a blast#rivulet is so fast and jumps so high and can swim for so long#just zooming through the entire map its so fuuuuuuun#i did use a setting to make the cycles longer bc i despise short cycles#but idk i havent really interacted much with scavs this run#i just went to moon and now im trying to get through five pebbles somehow#but i keep getting progress on chieftain passage???#i did go through shaded and i gave the merchant two pearls which prob helped#but why am i getting progress when i havent seen a scavenger in like 10 cycles#but yea this campaign is interesting bc half the world is basically the same#with just more water n shit#but the other half is so very different its obvious that this is set at a different time#i can't say i love how much swimming you need to do#but like i said playing as riv is extremely fun and there's a lot of lore so yea i love it#if this ends up being really short ill prob try saint too#and then ill prob be done...
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man there's this one post that I can't track down but I gotta talk about it
it talks about how the op was singing in the kitchen and their roommate slid around the corner and was relieved that they were singing bc they don't do that then they're depressed, and that the kitchen had been silent for 3 months. thinkin about that post today
#mostly bc .... i just realized that people have had that same recognition for me.#i got horrifically depressed in college. my sophomore year.#and when i dont feel badly. i frequently wear flowers in my hair. theyre pretty and i like to match them. but that takes energy.#and i hadnt even noticed that id stopped#until one day i went 'hey. its been a while since ive done that. lets wear some pink flowers today'#and my piano teacher looked at me and said 'oh good. youre feeling better today. im so glad'#and whrn i went ???????? he said. 'you're wearing flowers again. you havent done that in a long time and youve been really down.'#'but your flowers are back! im happy for you'#and now whenever i see that post im like. oh. other people see me like the op's roommate does. my flowers came back.......
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ugh irritated my piercing by accident bc I fucking keep sleeping on it. Ill wake and roll over but evrry time I wake up im on my right side again
#personal#very glad i just got the one#really wondering how i fucking survived getting both ears done twice#bc this one alone is driving me nuts. but its so cute and i want more#anyway. somehow last night i didnt sleep on it and ive been really good and havent caught or bumped it once today#so when i went to go clean it earlier it wasnt so touchy which is nice#i think it was literally just mildly inflamed bc i fuckin slept on it. dumb.#like yes i know its an open wound but also shoot. its been a month now so i was hoping itd be a bit better by now#but also. it has been 13 yrs since my last piercing so i cant even remotely tell you how the healing went last time#anyway. short story long im a silly for sleeping on it (bc you know i have sooo much control when im unconscious lol) but im obvs#keeping it as clean and touch free as i can#alas. bodies dumb
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