#(tho most of what happened when he was alive the first time is only revealed to the audience)

[lesbian4lqg]

one thing i really appreciate about svsss is that with anyone else in shen yuans role?

the system's lbh mood ring points (satisfaction, heartbreak, etc) would be considered an invasion of privacy more than the whole transmigration thing already is or at least a source of valuable insight but instead

its shen yuan. if anything the mood ring reveals make him more confused

[chocol4tte]

Man, who would've thought that you guys be interested in an idea that didn't have a plot *glup*

I only had three scenes when thinking of this AU tho, with the idea that Obito became good earlier than in Canon, maybe you are interested?

Also, reminder that this is unbeta-Ed and my first language isn't English, anyway, enjoy you masochists!

Kakashi doesn't want to die, not now that he realized that Obito was alive. If he ever took the sharingan out of his eye socket now, maybe, he could have the opportunity of living a few more years, hopefully another decade, another opportunity to start something with Obito.

When Kakashi gets the time to speak with Obito, asking him.if he wanted his eye back, and yet, when he tried to explain that Obito's eye was killing him in a literal sense, Obito interrupts him. He began calling Kakashi off and how dare he thinks he wishes his eye back, and Kakashi deserves the eye.

Kakashi doesn't elaborate further and accepts it, thinking that Obito trully hasn't forgiven him completely for what he did to Rin. With that in mind, Kakashi continues living as if nothing happened.

It's not until the end of the war, Obito survived by a hair and everyone is rescuing the injured and the corpses for a proper burial. Obito sees Kakashi on the ground unconscious, thinking that the moron he is heads over hills, passed out due to chackra exhaustion as he cannot feel his chakra.

By playfully kicking him awake, expecting to see Kakashi frowning or groaning... there is no movement. He kneels over the man and realizes that he is not breathing, and with no pulse.

He doesn't realize he is screaming Kakashi's name until Naruto and Sakura (Sasuke is following but, ya know) arrive at his side and began checking Kakashi's wounds. It was revealed by Sakura that Kakashi only held superficial wounds and a few broken bones... yet when they examined Kakashi's left eye, it was marked by vains and almost red.

It's is then revealed that Kakashi was dead, poisoned by the eye he was gifted for years and years. Obito is stricken by grief, remembering that Kakashi was offering his eye back... and he refused to accept it, poisoning further.

Obito wanted to do so much things after the war, to have a live and find redemption towards the village he used to love, towards the man who he admired and was admired in return... to have options. He thought that by giving him his eye, they'll be connected in ways that it wouldn't be possible, he was blind by the mere idea of Kakashi rejecting that connection with him, that he made him keep it, and now what? Kakashi was dead.

Obito remained in his own world, holding Kakashi like a lifeline, and ignoring how Naruto and Sakura were crying their hearts out, Might Guy and Yamato arriving at the scene only to observe that their dear friend didn't make it... when it was revealed the true reason of his death, it became more crushing.

It was clear that despite Kakashi being a loner, he was loved by his people, the people Obito tried to kill for a delusion.

A part of him, his most selfish and decrepit part of him, wished to take Kakashi away to Kamui, where time didn't pass, where the two of them could be forever. Other part of him was close to take Orochimaru by the hair and drag him to do Edo tensei to Kakashi... but by the looks of it, Kakashi would dislike any of those options. Kakashi loved Konoha, even its ugly parts, he called that place a home, and he would love to rest there.

Obito didn't notice that he was being guided by Naruto and others to Konoha, they tried taking Kakashi's body from him, yet his arms firmly continued carrying Kakashi until it was time to prepare him for the burial. Obito destroyed the sharingan he once sharddnwoth Kakashi, hating the fact that a part of him that was supposednto protect him, did the opposite.

The burial was held on a sunny day, Obito was arrested not long after the ceremony ended. He didn't care, he no longer could have a future with the person he hold dear, not even when Naruto promised him to lesser his sentence.

In the cell where he was held, he only kept thinking of escenarios where he and Kakashi survived and obito served his sentence, but lived a life with Kakashi.

Or he died and Kakashi came back to Konoha without him, but with his students... or both dying... a world where he wasn't crushed by a Boulder and grew up with Kakashi...

A lot of scenarios, multiple what-ifs, things that only happen in his dreams. He was tired and wanted to rest.

After almost a year inside a cell, Obito was granted temporary liberty, under the supervision of an AMBU squad and Yamato. He didn't care. Nor that the people in the street either run away from him, or was berated by other shinobi.

The first place he went to was Kakashi's grave, because what right did he have to visit Rin's or his sensei's grave, he stayed there for hours under the sun until dusk, where his retainers forced him to go back to an apartment with Tenzo.

It became a routine for the next following days.

It stopped however, as the sunny days went by, that Obito began to think how Kakashi must be under too much sun, he would've loved sunny days like this and being under the shadow of a tree. Yes, that's what he needed, that's the least he could provide to Kakashi.

The next morning, Obito was nowhere to be found. It became a frantic search by most shinobis available. It took just a few minutes to Yamato, close to his sempai's grave, a full grown tree layed in there, the only tree in the middle of the grave site. By using mokuton, Yamato asserted the situation with a grimace and reported to the Hokage that Obito was neutralized by his own ability, as he layed underground the tree that mysteriously grew at the cementary.

[yudrein-aile]

Woah just reached the ch where its revealed Keilusa was planning to appoint Kishi as crown prince.... bro.... the usurp and win Civil War before it begins vibes r off the charts

Reading 536 was such a god damn treat for me personally. Like

As he waited for the coughing to subside, Yuder contemplated Emperor Keilusa's true intentions. According to the Empress, the Emperor wants Kishiar to become the Crown Prince. However, if something were to suddenly go wrong—due to hasty action fueled by newfound hope—and the Emperor died prematurely or encountered any issue, then all his plans would be in vain. The same would apply if something happened to Kishiar. 'Considering that, it's not surprising if he finds it more comforting to prepare for a future he can somewhat control and anticipate.'

I’m not sure Katchian can became a threat as he is – too immature, with too many powerful players on the keyboard, but it would be interesting if Keilusa does die now, wouldn’t? All his plans put into motion, only to die—

You can tell how much I’ve been craving a civil war AU for this fandom lol. I suppose I have one fic heading there but that’s a different conversation

That aside, I have been wondering for how long Keilusa has been planning for this and when he informed Faria of his plan. Like, having the child they wanted to become their successor murdered is already horrible, but I don’t think Katchian was terrible from the start. He was fucking fourteen. Fourteen-year-olds are not irredeemable. Was Diarca’s influence to great already? Did Keilusa also think that Katchian was only going to be Diarca’s puppet and that’s why he couldn’t tolerate him?

Or was it simply a question of trusting his brother more?

I tend to put Kishiar’s Awakening as my terminus post quem for Keilusa putting decision into action. While Kishiar's entire condition is obviously not fixed by Awakening, it has stabilized enough that he’s not dying in the next five years, that he’s most certainly going to outlive Keilusa – and outlive him he did! Even in the first timeline, dying bc of the Red Stone injury, he lived approximately a year longer than Keilusa.

But yeah Keilusa wants Kishiar as his heir so badly.

Like in 60 we got

'Kishiar. So, is your vessel still fine?' 'Thanks to your concern, brother, it's perfectly fine.' When they were alone, Kishiar called the emperor 'brother'. Although this was against etiquette, when they were alone, the emperor called him by his real name, not his title, so it was all the same. 'What a pity. If the late empress saw you alive and breathing healthily without any outburst, she would undoubtedly have been so upset that she would have risen from her grave. It's quite regrettable that I can't show her that her most important decision was so wrong.

And in 110 the info that

Originally, the position of the Crown Prince was set to be Kishiar La Orr's. However, about 20 years ago, due to the strong influence of the then Empress, Inella La Orr, at the imperial family meeting, Keilusa La Orr was appointed as the Crown Prince. It is said that the late Emperor and Empress Inella had a major dispute over this issue for several years, and their relationship was not good.

Like, tbh I think that – unlike Kishiar, who I don’t see as ever really considering the throne as a position for himself – Keilusa was very much aware that their father wanted Kishiar to be Crown Prince (or at least, be given more time to pick which one of his sons would inherit the crown) and continues to consider the position Kishiar’s. Not just because Keilusa genuinely has no other heir he approves of, but because he trusts his brother with it. Keilusa is the pettiest bitch being so self-satisfied that his grandmother’s schemes led to nothing, that Kishiar is still well and thriving.

Uh, excuse the off track ramble.

TLDR: god yeah civil war would be fun, don’t think Katchian could pull it off anymore tho.

[le-trash-prince]

This Love Doesn’t Have Long Beans Episode 7 Thoughts

Oab not even gonna comment on Kluer trying to kiss Plawan he’s just gonna get his man out of there

THE DRAMATIC FALL OF THE WHALE PLUSHIE SFJFJDD

I’ve said it before but I do not like Kluer. Too much Nice Guy TM energy for me. Just bc ppl smile and tell you all the things you want to hear does not mean they are good to be around

DID OAB JUST PULL HIS BACK SHFJF IM CHOKING

Plawan being upset about Khaosuay but still trying to be understanding towards Oab :(

Did Plawan get this muscle metaphor from JJ i bet he got this metaphor from JJ

Oh no they’re actually getting together before Plawan tells Oab about Methas OH THIS IS GONNA HURT

Plawan’s convenient odinsleep when Kluer tries to confess… me tbh

“Do you think Kluer will be really hurt?” *cuts to Kluer sobbing his heart out* don’t worry he’s a trooper i think he’ll be fine

I think this is my fave OabPlawan love scene so far, it’s so well choreographed and the framing is great… that pants drop was fantastic. Too bad it’s such a short scene

Methas’ fucking pouty face when he’s asking JJ to hold his hand

Ooooh JJ’s trying to draw a line, he’s caught feelings

HE CAN’T MEET METHAS EYES HE’S CAUGHT FEELINGS

oh my GOD THANK YOU DIRECTOR CINEMATOGRAPHER AND EDITING TEAM FOR THAT BEAUTIFUL SHOT OF METHAS HAND ON JJ’S ARM

You got a butt cramp Methas?? REALLY???

AHDJFJDJDJFJDJJFF

JJ ALMOST GAVE IN TO THE KISS ARGHDNFNFNF i knew it was gonna happen it was literally in the pilot but im HRRGGHDFBNFBG

LIES DOWN

IM FINE

Butterfly pea flower tea!!! Plawan’s presentation is so fucking cute

Punsib you were too good for all the hormones in this kitchen

Kluer this ain’t it man… just let it go son

NUB NUENG DON’T TELL OAB THAT EVERYTHING IS GOING WELL you curse his house

Pad croquette??? I want…

“I never cry when you teach me” alexa play Teach Me Tonight by Dinah Washington 

It’s the way they started making out downstairs when Kluer is still living there and he’s the only one left… Kluer buddy if I were you I would just quit at this point it’s not gonna be a good time for you

KLUER JUST STANDING THERE WHILE THIS FIGHT HAPPENS SHFJFJF 

DID METHAS REALLY JUST SHOW UP TO TALK SHIT LAUGH IN OAB’S FACE AND LEAVE SHFJFJFJF someone get this man a moustache to twirl PLEASE

he’s got teleporting powers now too damn 

METHAS’ SMILE WHEN HE’S ALL DRESSED UP ON THE CLINIC TABLE WHAT A SMUG LITTLE SHITTY CAT LMFAO

Even though I don’t care for Kluer, I don’t blame him if he snaps tbh. The most absurd part of this competition is making your right hand man jump through all these hoops to prove himself over complete strangers. Like if Kluer had the money in the first place, Chef could’ve just sold him the restaurant and none of this drama would’ve gone down

Laughing my ass off at the long beans reveal no one ever reacted this dramatically to a dish with yardlong beans in it before

AUTO RETURNS NEXT WEEK MY SON!!!

Gonna be so sad when this is over tho, they better be starting on Pit Babe 2 soon before my brain eats itself alive

[crazykuroneko]

IWTV S2E5 Musings

Long ass note under the cut, but tl;dr Louis & Old Daniel is my new brotp. Armand can't take it away from me. And Armand has a PhD in gaslighting

• The impersonal statements Daniel pointing out. The implanted phrases Armand supposedly gave to Louis. Somehow my mind recalls the "vampire bond" explanation. The way Louis said it in S1 is like he's reading from a book.

• Current Louis knows Santiago's plotting

• Of course Armand is a lame crypto man 😭

• "His methodology is never violent" Oh, Louis

• "Armand preserves my happiness, even when I don't or can't" 🚨

• Louis still likes his coffin lined with a green silk 😭

• Young Daniel acts like a loser. I'm so sorry, I'm trying to take him seriously but he's funny lol

• "You're lonely. You're thrill seeking" Oh he reads him so bad. Why Louis stay with Armand tho?

• Louis and Young Daniel are just saying exactlyyyyy to one another lol

• Louis was agitated when Young Daniel pointed out the use of past tense on Claudia

• Louis is already in suicidal mind set even before Armand comes

• Interesting. The way Louis is reading his thoughts here. As in literal reading. He can't be in Daniel's mind (e.g. seeing what Daniel is seeing), his ability is limited to what Daniel's thinking. And Daniel is not thinking to himself, he just opens the Talamasca recordings right away. Thus Louis can only feel Hesitation from his mind, bu he doesn't know exactly what for

• "You don't have enough to fear from Paris?" On revealing their nature. I knew Louis had the man in the park an Roget. But why does this sound something bigger happened in Paris with the humans?

• "Is it the gremlin or good nurse tonight?" Well, he decided to be both tonight 💀

• "Throw pillow" "Use Claudia just to circle back to Lestat" So rich of him to shade Louis for his guilt over Claudia when he's the one who killed her.

• "It's all coming back" "Paris.." Louis forgets most of Paris?

• "She's calling me" I wonder if Louis is remembering Claudia calling him during her last moments

• No, I don't think Armand expected or waited for Louis to come into the sun like that. But he's definitely MAD because of that

• Armand is on mission to figure out what makes Young Daniel and Lestat interesting to Louis. Because Louis said he's dull

• "An instinct to self-efface" yes, both Daniel and Louis have that

• Armand kept Louis writhing in pain w/o blood for 4 days???

• Not @ Dubai Louis still giving excuses for Armand to Daniel 😭

• Armand calling Lestat. Lestat doesn't know where Louis is. Armand refuses to tell where they are.

• "You try! You were there!" Newfound friends found bickering lol

• "If you want insanity back, if you want to escape this prison of emphaty" Armand really says "Yes, I'm caging you, but you think this is bad? Well, you had it worse with him you wanna go back there??"

• Armand's tone during the coffin scene is very soft, but he's actually making himself clear he's mad MAD. Mad that Louis is trying to goad Lestat back to him again through the interview. Seeing how Louis always fast to reassure Armand with "all I said is trash" about Lestat, this is definitely an old problem to them. It makes me curious what made Louis stay with Armand post-Paris. What happened in Paris exactly? Lestat definitely knows Louis is alive and with Armand, unlike in the books. What has made him stay away? Did Louis pull a Nicki on him in Paris? Edit: wait, what if Armand reaches out to Lestat here is the equivalent of him going to NOLA in TVL and goes "news flash, Louis is actually alive. we were/are together"? Daniel doesn't hear Armand's first sentence to Lestat. and by that time, Louis does know lestat is alive but still numb 🤔 Armand mentions if Louis wants Lestat to chase him again, that's definitely about Lestat coming to Paris after the patricide.

• "All you had to do was ask" he says to the burnt Louis who is in need of his blood. A war flashback to "The silence is cruel. But you're never cruel" but in worse condition.

• Armand, making it clear he is extremely mad at Louis for trying to reach Lestat, that Louis is ungrateful cos he's been treating him better than Lestat, then dangling this channel of communication to Lestat in front of him, making Louis feels bad and coercing him to reassure him again. Armand has a PhD in gaslighting.

• The words from Armand afterwards. Louis certainly knows his answer but well, you can't answer that if you don't want Armand blowing up again.

• Armand only answers Louis back with Maitre once Louis assures him that he will stay with him.

• "I'm a bright young reporter with a point of view" Young Daniel is full of life and optimistic. Stubborn, refusing Armand's words, but they work. Then Louis came, saying it back to him, give him more words to re-find that motivation to live. Give him words to live on.

• Ngl I almost teared up to this scene with Louis and Old Daniel. They're precious as friends.

• To alter and surpress Daniel's memory, Daniel is already under a stage where he's very easy to be influenced and they give more drugs again.

• Old Daniel beeds to stay alive. I want Louis has one (1) friend that call out his and his boyfriend(s)' bullshits 😭

[mzhydes-funtimes]

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice was the most MID movie ive ever seen.

There were 4 plots 2 of which didnt really mean anything and the ending was also really bad. I was more excited for the trailer for Sonic 3 than most of the movie there was only 1 tense part but it didnt really do much for the story so that tension was quickly forgotten as soon as the twist for that plot end was revealed.

Also it wasnt even that funny

Spoilers and rant below the cut

The A plot is Lydia now like 30 getting married to a scammer and her daughter being against it. Her scammer is also her director as she does scripted "haunted house" reality shows. Lydias father dies which he uses it to sort of propose? Basically think of it as the beetlejuice 1 plot but instead of "PLOT TWIIIST hes actually good." Its no plot twist he was always bad. Like the daughter keeps saying hes bad and hey. He was.

The b plot was "SUPRISE! When beetlejuice was alive he married someone then she killed him so he killed her" and now shes back to finish the job. Which... doesnt go anywhere? Like she shows up periodically, super kills someone, then cut back to plot d. And at the end shes killed from the same thing as the first movie.

C plot is the cops trying to find beetlejuices ex wife which only pays off sort of at the end because its the actor for Green Goblin playing an actor (meta-ing) and hes like the head of the dead police but also not actually a cop, just faking it? Sort of? And he does like nothing to the plot just there like "ooo im an actor" and "hows the investigation going?" And does the stereotypical cop at end of movie thing with "you kids ok, call us if anything bad happens again" and like doesnt work.

The d plot i would say is the only actually good plot: lydias daughter (they say it only like 10 times in the movie im sorry for not remembering) finds a guy and at halloween they start dating he takes her to the underworld to exchange his dead soul for her living one so he can come back and keep murdering people and even though thats what gets beetlejuice to do the ending of movie, (doing the day-o scene but with a different song and a wedding theme due to the deal) its just really stupid. Like. He almost does it but then beetlejuice cartoons his ass to hell. Like. Why is beetlejuice all powerful except for when he isnt? Like he doesnt have any limits in this movie except for when the plot needs him to. Like he can freeze even other dead people but he cant freeze his dead exwife? Why? Anyway yeah the love intrest plot does stuff with the story but ruins it before it gets too interesting.

Not to mention at the end some dead people escape and a bunch of famous people get literally sucked into their phones by beetlejuice and when beetlejuice supposedly "dies" they dont get out of their phones and the dead guys still wander the living streets and they dont show the cops doing shit about it.

Like the whole movie is "hey lets catch up on Lydia and her life and while we're at it lets make up a plot so people come see the actual guy they wanna see: beetlejuice.

Its not even that funny there were a few chuckleworthy moments but overall it wasnt great. Lots of good beetlejuice visual gags tho, the one and only good part of it. And they spend wayyyyy too much time in the underworld trying to flesh it out when it didnt NEED fleshing out, it was supposed to be mysterious.

[cosmiclion]

I've been working on my Familiar AU more and finished another old sketch. Meet another of my OCs, her name's Maggie.

She’s like a wet cat and I love her. Also she’s Grell’s biological mother (I wouldn’t have bothered to make parents for Grell but I felt like they were needed to explain her personality and behavior lol).

-Margaret Katherine Müller (née O’Sullivan) -Irish -Born in May 20th, 1838 -Widow

Full backstory under the cut, be warned that it's very long lmao.

The following character bio deals with topics like violent death of a significant other, major injury and trauma, reproductive coercion, unwanted parenthood, child emotional neglect and eventual abandonment, and misogyny. Also I’ll be using he/him for Grell for most of it as she figured herself out years after these events and she views her past self as a different person (I won't be revealing her deadname tho).

Maggie emigrated to England with her elderly aunt and uncle and an older cousin, the latter of whom set off to work in a farm in the other side of the country.

She befriended a boy called Gustav, son of a German couple who owned a shop that Maggie’s aunt visited often. By their teenage years they were sweethearts.

When Maggie’s aunt and uncle passed away, Gustav's parents were delighted to take her in.

They got married as soon as they legally could. They did talk about children, but agreed that it wasn’t something they really wanted. They didn’t change their minds even after six years of marriage.

Their neighbourhood was peaceful, the only time they heard about anything unusual was when the neighbours started warning each other about a werebeast that had been seen roaming nearby.

One night they were taking a stroll through the park and that’s where they saw it. It looked like a starving stray cat, only as big as a horse. As soon as they made a move, the beast charged at them. It mauled Gustav beyond recognition and would’ve mauled Maggie too if it wasn’t for a group of armed neighbors that were patrolling nearby and shot it dead just in time as it was biting her leg.

The woman was rushed to the hospital. The doctors managed to save her leg, but said she’d probably need a cane to walk.

After some rehabilitation she was finally ready to go home and the doctor came in to give his final report. He said they wanted to run a few tests first but now could safely say it: she was pregnant.

They got home and she heard her in-laws talking excitedly. She finally snapped out of it. She didn’t want a child, she could never be a good mother. All she wanted was to mourn in peace, to be left alone. She didn’t want this baby and didn’t want this pregnancy.

You can’t just say that. Your husband has left you the most precious gift a woman could ever receive. We know you can be a wonderful mother. This child will bring us so much joy, please don’t deny that to us.

And so she complied. She kept telling herself that maybe this child would really be a beautiful reminder of her husband. And when she finally had the baby in her arms, she looked down at him and felt nothing but regret.

She still hoped that she’d bond with the baby over time but that never happened. Her in-laws had her come live with them and they didn’t leave her side for the first months. After a while they went back to their usual routine and the new mother was left alone with the infant for long periods, thinking What now?

The kid was spoiled rotten by his grandparents. Maggie did her best to hide her unhappiness behind a polite smile, but at the same time she just did the bare minimum to keep the kid alive and wasn’t really there emotionally.

Maggie thought that maybe she could endure this until the kid was old enough to not want to be around her as often, but BY GOD was it hard. One day he was being particularly fussy and, in the middle of a tantrum, she finally snapped and grabbed him by his arm a little too roughly. He broke into tears, shrieking dramatically. Maggie had had enough.

And so one day she finally bailed out. She had previously written to her cousin, who agreed to take her in to live and work at the farm without questioning her.

Her in-laws were LIVID. What kind of woman abandons her own child without looking back? They continued to raise their grandkid as best as they could, which meant spoiling him even more and turning him into an entitled brat in the process.

The kid started hating his mother. All his life all he’d ever wanted was to be hugged by her, to hear some words of affection. But he never got anything beyond some headpats and faint smiles and now she was gone, that whore.

It wasn’t easy for Maggie to begin her new life, but she didn’t regret it for one second. With enough time she got used to the demanding farm life and became happier than she had been in a long time. She never remarried and lived a long, fullfiling life.

A couple of years later, when Grell was rummaging through her grandparents' belongings to see what she could take before running away in search of adventure, she found a letter addressed to them. It was from her mother, apparently answering to another letter they had sent to her in which they begged her to come visit Grell. The last lines read Do not contact me about this child again, he is not my responsibility, I do not have anything to do with him anymore. In fact, do not contact me again at all, we are not family anymore.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

If you've made it this far then thank you, I might have gotten a bit carried away lmao 🙏🏻

[thatonecrookedsmile]

It's been a little over a month since I read FTB and I wanted to do (and say, I think) a few things related to it. So here, take this. FTB stuff I was wanting to share.

Including some drawings/my designs for some characters (the ones above), some separate sketches, and giving some long thoughts on the book. (This post is looong so I'm going to put everything under the curtain. Enjoy!)

Starting: Rose, Evan and Archie. They are the ones that, I admit, are what I wanted to draw/design most while/after I read the book. Now, at least, if I want to make something involving one of these three one day, I have designs ready to go! Hooray! Evan is the only one of the three that I actually had to design from scratch. With Rose I had made a sketch 1 year ago conceptualizing the idea for her design, and it was only recently that I came back to this idea to finally solidify it. And I had already done Archie's design last year while I was doing my designs for the human cast of BATDR, so I was already prepared without even knowing it.

Also,Ink!Archie!! The poor guy got screwed pretty badly. First two designs in the first image are based on the events in the book. The one on the left is him seen mostly in the book (alive) and the one on the right is when he is in the Ink Realm, post-death. The design in the second image was supposed to be a stylization/variation of his Cycle design. I tried drawing him with a visible mouth/teeth similar to what I did with Sammy in a recent drawing and in some sketches that I didn't post here. I'm not sure about the beard tho. I think I exaggerated it. Next time, remember to draw less beard in this design. (And maybe, for the design that is more "close to canon", don't draw the ends of the hair and beard in the Cycle design)

Any other character in the book, either I don't have a design and I don't plan on making a design for them now, or I do but it will take a while to show them. (I promise I'll show Dot one day)

I also have some additional sketches. So if you want to take a look at that too, here it is:

Ollie Sorenson. This wasn't quite the way I had imagined him when I was reading the book but 1. the hair I tried to draw for him before didn't work out well, so I went another route and 2. Ollie isn't particularly a character in this book that I'm going to I think a lot in comparison to the others (he's still cool, tho) and I doubt I'll make another design for him, so let's go with this one. Not a bad design,so,eh.

Rose. Sketch on the left was made last year. I'm almost certain it was done after the book synopsis was revealed by Kress. The sketch on the right was made last month when I was reading the book. I took the idea from the sketch on the left and tried to solidify her design better.

Evan. Some other sketches made when I read the book. I had just completed his design and wanted to test it a little more to, you know, see if I can actually draw him. Verdict? I think I can.

And now uhhhhhh what I thought of the book! I previously considered doing a separate text post with these thoughts only but I don't do text-only posts in general and if I were to make a separate post it would take a while and it would come out more than 1 month/probably 2 months since I read the book and it would be kinda awkward. And I'm already writing this post, so why not put it all here now, right?

(Warning: My thoughts on the book ended up being MUCH LONGER THAN I EXPECTED TO WRITE. You don't need to read them if you want, they are just more additional and optional things. But if you are going to read them, be warned)

(Spoilers: I may have strayed a little off topic when I started talking about Archie. Don't mention how long his paragraph is, tho)

But yeah, Fade To Black. That was something else, I tell you (and I mean that in a positive way). Probably reading this book after all the fuss that happened about the books a while ago wasn't the best idea possible. But even with…all that in mind, I still wanted to read this for a long time, and I'm glad I went ahead with it. I had a lot of fun with the book! And thinking about it a little over a month after finishing it, I think I can say that this book is up there as, like, one of my favorites of the Bendy books that have been released to date. Before this, I would have considered DCTL my favorite of the books, so I'm somewhere between saying that both of these two are my favorite books in this series and that I like them equally, or that FTB has now become my favorite book of the series, surpassing DCTL. (Maybe I'll have a better idea of ​​this later this year when I reread these books once again)

I really liked the story told, its concept had already interested me since its synopsis was revealed last year - the setting in the 50's, the TV show, the whole 3D glasses thing - so it's no surprise that I was very interested in what this book had to tell. And since I already brought that up: I liked the new concepts it brings to the table,specifically,of course,the glasses and the TV. An idea that,I admit,at first is something I thought was a bit different (and dare i say unusual?) from what I usually see in the Bendy universe (although, it's not something so out of the ordinary from what we've seen before in the series) but I have to say that it's something that I thought was cool even so. 3D glasses that end up transporting your mind into the televised cartoons (and,by all accounts,the ink realm). The jokes I saw that Joey created virtual reality in this book weren't so far-fetched after all lol. But still, it's a concept that I admit to having been interested in, and that it might be cool to play around with in fanon stuff. I also considered this could open doors for other, more "wild" ideas to be explored in the books (as long as they still make sense for a >Bendy< book, of course). I also liked the whole segment taking place in the ink realm at the end of the book, and I hope that this can open up possibilities for future novel stories to take place there, either partially (as in this one) or in full (I accept an entire novel taking place in the cycle,ngl). The additional lore for the ink realm is a nice treat and adds more to what we have in the games. I admit that, at the same time, I feel a little thoughtful about a certain part of this additional lore that - assuming the way I understand it is right - leaves me wondering if this "extended origin" of the cycle coupled with what we already know of its lore would make sense in the games, and how these ideias would be acknowledged in future entries. But at the same time, I may be overthinking this, and the stars may still be aligned, and I've gotten the information wrong. Despite everything, I liked what was told about the ink realm in this book, I appreciate this "extended origin" at the end of the day.

I really liked the cast, both the new ones and the old faces. Rose is great, I really liked her as the protagonist. She's already one of my favorite book characters, I hope we hear from her again in the future. Also, it's good to have a protagonist in these books who survives in the end. Okay, sure, she didn't come out of it 100% unharmed, considering what the ending implies, but still. Again. It's good to have a protagonist in these books who came out of this alive at the end. Evan is also very good. Even though I want to slap him on the back of the head, I also hope to hear from him again, especially considering the way he "exited the story" (is that how you say it?). I talked about the possibility of a future novel taking place in the ink realm, I think that would give a good chance of bringing him back, now as an ink creature. I don't have much to say about Ollie, but I also thought he was cool. The scenes between him and Rose are very nice and the scenes related to the "Bendy Visions" caused by the glasses is another concept that I found very interesting (Tense moments, but cool ones nonetheless) Very happy to see Dot again. I like her character, and I always wanted to see what happened to her after the events of DCTL (TLO had already implied that she was still alive, but I wanted to know more, you know). Her participation in this book is very good, and a chapter that I have to highlight is the one where she meets Rose and they talk in the cafe. Their conversation alone is very good, but the specific part that got me was Dot talking about Buddy, what happened to her after the first book, and Buddy's family. That part was like. A slap in the heart, I'm not going to lie. This chapter made me sad, 10/10. Favorite chapter of the book.

Archie Carter was a big surprise (not really, I already knew he would be here before reading the book), and he is another of my favorite aspects of the book. It's good to see one of the characters from BATDR's human cast ending up being used more in a story. Archie in the game, like other characters we saw in the audio logs in DR, is a "One and done" situation where we only hear from him once and that's it, combined with the fact that he is ultimately just another background character who exists mostly to fill the world and give information that is not necessarily integral to the main things that occur in the game and is more to tell about different things, people and events that were also occurring inside the studio and in the outside world ( those of the lost city and Gent Workshop, essentially) pre-game events. (I really don't know how to explain this properly, but I would say that the "thing" of the information given by the new human cast (with the exception of the Archs) is the same thing as the characters who are giving such information: filling the world. I hope you get the gist of what I'm saying) And while I wouldn't say the information on these tapes is really irrelevant (in Archie's case, he provides some of the most interesting), and in my case, I don't mind the addition of the newbies, I don't blame other people for not being interested, don't get attached to or even dislike these new characters who don't do much in the grand scheme of things in DR and in comparison to the BATIM cast (or at least, the majority of the IM cast). So seeing at least 1 of these newcomers being used more deeply in a story and having their characters expanded is good! And I liked what was done with Archie here. You know the guy who worked at Gent as a test subject and who saw bad things happening at the company? Guess what! Same company screwed up his life and now he's a half-human-half-ink creature guy infected with evil ink and his current situation is not good at all! He's going through horrors unfortunately (especially in the cycle), but I really like what Adrienne did with Archie in this book. Again, he is one of the highlights of this book, and I hope that something similar ends up happening with other DR characters in future stories (manifesting the novel that uses Bill Danton and/or Grace Conway in some capacity 🙌) Plus, I also think it's cool that of all the DR characters to be used, it was the one voiced by SuperHorrorBro who ended up being chosen for this book (I like SHB, what can I say)

Joey (like in the other books) is a standout (and considering what we specifically see of him in this book, he's especially a standout here). More of Allison, even though in the end it's just a small one-scene cameo. Finally, I'm being fed the bread crumbs I craved. And I think now I have another version of Henry to talk about. My collection is growing strong, now I have 3 versions of my favorite old man! Among the new ones, and especially the secondary and tertiary ones, Papa D and Gladys are nice, even though they don't have much time in the story. Oh, and Wilson showed up too. He doesn't do much either, he's just there to be creepy. But I will acknowledge him.

I also enjoyed seeing some of the ideias showcased first in BATDR here (which makes sense, this book came out well after the game finally released). I always found it interesting to see more of Gent in the spotlight, and reading and knowing a little more about the things they were doing after JDS closed is nice. (And I think it's good to see more reaffirmation of what BATDR had already implied. That Gent also had eyes on the Ink Machine even when the studio was still open, and when the studio collapsed, they still continued the ink experiments in their own facilities. Again, this was already something that had been shown in DR, but it's good to see more reaffirmation here) The appearance of the Siverlane Express was something that I really appreciated, even if it was something very short. I ealready talk about Archie in one giant paragraph, and again, Wilson is here too.

There isn't really anything I "disliked" about this book, but at most, I only have a few nitpicks. The Ink Demon appears in the story, but compared to DCTL and TLO, I feel FTB is definitely the book where he appears the least. I mean, yeah, the story isn't about him in the end, but it's still something I managed to notice. I also feel that, in my opinion, this is the least "scary" of the 3. Not that it doesn't have "scary" elements but still, compared to moments in the other books like Buddy in the infirmary, or the TLO trio in the old factory, I don't know if this book would be the most "scary" of the trilogy. However,FTB still has several suspenseful scenes (the Bendy visions, some scenes with Ollie, Archie's pre-introduction, Wilson in the library), which I also like anyway. And I'll admit. While this idea isn't that far out there - and in the context of the story, it makes sense - I kind of raised an eyebrow a little at the whole "using your mind/imagination to get out of the ink realm" thing. It is not bad! And again, with what we saw in the book, this idea actually fits with what we had seen so far in the story. But I can't lie that when we got to this moment I was like "oh, this is something that happened, I guess", you know? But even so, I didn't dislike the idea.

(I once saw someone describe this part of the book as "they canonized no-clipping in Bendy" and you know what? I think that's funny. I think we need to start referring to this idea in the book as that instead of "using the imagination" /hj)

But even so, even with these small "nitpicks", I still had a lot of fun with this book. I really enjoyed reading it, and not only is it now one of my favorite Bendy books so far, I dare say it's one of my favorite things about the franchise in general. Like, if I had to make a top 3 of my favorite things from the Bendy series so far, I'd say it's this book and the first two mainline games. I guess this is to show how much I enjoyed the book!

And with that, my journey with the Bendy books ends. At least, with the books I managed to have access so far. I have no plans to pursue the updated version of the Employee Handbook so far, but from what I've heard and seen so far, I'm not missing anything too important. And the DCTL graphic novel….exists. It's definitely a graphic novel that exists. Dare I say that it is definitely one of the graphic novels of all time, alright. But what have I read so far? It was what I would say, a good journey. I've been interested in the Bendy books for a long time, and it's been a while since I read them, and I'm glad I did, despite recent events. Of course, they have their flaws and problems too, I have things about them that I myself identify as bumps in the road (and that applies to the novel trilogy too btw) But even with them in mind and acknowledging them, I still think that they are worth something. And I hope people still continue to recognize them and give them a chance. Even with its flaws, and with their whole canocity thing that happened a while ago, I still believe that people should check out the books eventually. Give it a chance, you know? If they did, and liked what they read, great! But if they don't like it, that's okay too! In the end, at least they, on both sides, gave it a chance. And that's what I at least want to see. I don't like the idea of ​​discarding these things and pretending they don't exist just because the devs said they aren't canon to the games (because, in my view, just because the books aren't canon doesn't make them without value or that you can't have fun with them after all)

WOW, this is getting long, I think I got carried away. I think that's all I had to say. To conclude everything, here is my list of the Bendy books that I like the most and the ones I like least:

Fade To Black (I've already talked a lot about this book)

Dreams Come To Life (hand in hand with FTB being in first place. It has its flaws, some that may have already been mentioned before, but I still found myself liking it in the end. For a first novel, it worked out fine)

Crack-Up Comics (Really liked the comics. It's good to see more things related to the cartoon characters, and I like some of the characters introduced. Pretty fun stuff)

The Lost Ones (it's not a very "Bendy" focused book compared to the others, and I don't blame those who didn't like this one because of the lack of many Bendy elements, but I confess that I still liked it as much as the other 2, and I loved the protagonists of this one. Even so, of the trilogy, it is the weakest book)

The Illusion of Living (In itself, it's an interesting read. It's really cool to see more of Joey from a deeper angle, and see more of his past. But I confess that it's not my favorite read, and I still prefer the main novels. Not bad, tho)

JDS Employee Handbook (2019) (For the first Bendy book overall, it's not bad, and I like the lore tidbits it has. But compared to the rest, it's actually the weakest)

The TL;DR is: Fade To Black is fun and my favorite, I liked its story and characters. I liked the books. Check them out if you want. If you liked them, cool. If you didn't like them, that's cool too. Read in general.

And if you've read this far: Thank you! And at the same time, I'm sorry! Have a good day/afternoon/night everyone. Peace.

[momentomori24]

Ok, ZERO ESCAPE 999. This game was a weird one for me. Definitely great, do not get me wrong--- I LOVE this game to pieces and after finishing this post I will finally start VLR during the weekend (hopefully), and mull over the characterization because what the hell, everyone is absolutely hilarious (Junpei, Snake, Seven and Santa specifically I'm looking at you)--- but it certainly left me with a bunch of questions to which I have no answers. Which makes sense considering the next game will most probably pick up where 999 left off so I won't touch on that too much, but everything really felt like a crazy, confusing, convoluted fever dream. In a good way. But still, very cryptic.

Speaking about fever dreams, June's situation is the most unique circumstance for a character I think I've ever seen. If I have everything correct (and correct me if I'm wrong), she originally died in the present timeline in the incinerator room long ago and somehow the Akane we meet in the Nonary Game exists simultaneously dead and alive at the same time in the aftermath of that event--- so basically Schrödinger's cat. The Nonary Game was set up to make Junpei save the Akane through telekinesis to create either a separate timeline or more likely influence the present one so that she can exist normally. That's why she's doomed to disappear in every ending; Junpei doesn't get to recreate that exact scenario in the incinerator room, so past Akane never reaches him and dies the way she was supposed to, meaning June ceases to exist as a consequence. And the burning fevers she would randomly get are her body reliving the memories being burned in the incinerator room 9 years ago. Did I get that all right? If so, then wow, that's not a twist I saw coming at all. Props to the creator of the game, but also how dare you doom my girl like this.

My biggest question how tho. I know that's not the best question to ask in a game where we are literally on the replica of the titanic, the exact same place where half of the cast along with other kids where brought to almost a decade ago because they were targeted by a supposed medical company and leader of said company is also part of our gang, forced into solving locked rooms while death hangs over their heads until 9 hours are over but our protagonist can turn back time without even knowing it every time things go bad, but still. If it's revealed later on then please don't tell me. If not, go ahead.

This is my second attempt to type this because my first drafts somehow didn't save and I'm too lazy to re-do everything so I'll bullet point:

•What happened to Santa in the true ending? Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think he was present during our car ride. Ace was there, though, despite being taken hostage by him and led away.

•So June is alive, right? Since we rewrote the timeline and helped Akane survive, what happened to her? She vanished on us during our confrontation with Santa, so where did she end up when everything was over?

•Who the hell killed everyone in the other endings? We know Clover goes crazy in one and Ace kills her in another, but what about the rest? We know it's not one of us because every single person we have gets slaughtered in the Sub endings with Junpei last. I did make post about it and I'll stick to what I said, but I guess I'll wait and see if the next game will answer.

•Who is Zero. That's it. I was thinking it was not Santa, to gradually being persuaded into thinking it could be him due to the evidence pointing into direction only for it to have really not him. He is actually more involved than most, but he's not the guy we're looking for (good). Give me answers, game.

Well, rant over for now. I'll probably slightly touch on VLR because I have an assessment to revise for, but I'm excited! I've heard a little about the gameplay and I'm really curious to see how it will pay out.

[venleaf]

The promised tma ocs of mine hehe

(Designs aren't really fix yet we'll colour wise)

Infossssss about the sillies hehe:

(From left to right)

Shodo Wright

he/him - half japanese & british

has no alignment (surprisingly?)

Lived around the time gerry was still alive and around (they would be of similar age)

Makes his own "Leitners", finds the creating of it fulfilling

His name means "the way of writing" as his mom was a fan of japanese calligraphy

Has tattoos on both of his forearms with a symbol for each fear entity

Shodo's first kind of experience with the entities would have been the death of his dad who died due to fear stuff yoohoo. But he was too young to get affected by it and lived quite fine with his mom only. Until (yeah it is the cliche oc creator being evil) his mom started to become lowkey paranoid (I don't think I want this to be related with the fears tho ... shockers ik) and she would start hanging up a bunch of charms for protections and etc. At that time shodo had to take care of her mainly, The only moment she looked calm was when shodo would tell her story or when doing calligraphy with him.

Skip forward she dies :)

Propper encounter with the fears for the first time would be around his college years. When his friend gets a Leitner and he sees that all go downhill. Seeing the possibilities of such a book inspires and fascinates him and he then starts to find ways to recreate such books himself.

Research, practice and close death encounters with fears lead to him managing.

He proceeds, making them for the sake of creating and/or by commission.

He has heard them being referred to as Leitners, but as soon as he figured out why and that it is basically to some Norwegian dude who only collects them, he finds the name choice odd etc etc (he is not impressed by said Norwegian book collector)

He also knows that there is someone who hunts such books (his included) and destroys them, yet is not bothered in any way. The joy is in creating after all, well, according to him. (They shall meet, and he shall become Gerry's "worst" nightmare) [also yes I am lowkey, perhas gonna ship these two hehe, lovers to enemies hehe]

He adopted a straycat named kaikoga (silkworm moth)

Osian

Vast avatar

Genderfluid - any pronouns

Nihilist

Ocean vibess

Pro in doing the opposite of pep talks

Has a desolation gf who kinda tries to teach them to also destroy or get vengeance on what hurt him or bothers her (emphasis on try, she is trying, and oh well if they do not do it himself, she will) [p.s. I have no actual design for said gf.... anybody wanna make the gf for this vast silly, then we can both have ocs and they can marry and we can be silly dramatic "parents"]

Talibah

Eye Avatar

She/her - egyptian

Is blind from birth, the eye gave her sight

She is a queen

Due to the eyes' help, no-one would guess she is blind actually

She works seemingly anywhere where people would talk or rant, collecting info and tales

Before the Eye, she knew already quite much as most underestimated her, and she simp.y could listen into anyone's convo and etc

Had secrets, revealed secrets, and simply played around with knowledge, and then the Eye happened, and it amplified

[streets-in-paradise]

Classic fairy tale, what would happen if a sleeping spell meant for somebody else (Sharaman, Garsiv etc) rebounded onto Dastan???

Hi!

Sorry for answering so late, i wanted to have the proper time to type.

Is this a fully classical fairy tale escenario? Like, the spell gets revoked with a kiss of true love like Sleeping Beauty or Snow White?

If that's the case, I think that it would take a while for his family to figure out how to bring him back from that state. Maybe they know it's magic because their healers can do nothing about it, although it's clear that Dastan is still alive.

Honestly, it's angsty but cute to imagine Dastan in the classical position of the sleeping princess while the kingdom mourns their incapability to find a solution. In Sleeping Beauty ( i'm having the Disney version in mind lol) there is some awareness of what to do from the fairies and from Maleficent, who tries to stop Philip from reaching Aurora to kiss her. At the same time, the fairies put the entire kingdom to sleep so neither the family or the subjects mourn the loss of Aurora.

I'm imagining Nizam as Maleficent, Tamina as Philip while Garsiv and Tus (and Bis, probably) are a non magical version of the fairies. Instead of the " everyone is putted to sleep", the brothers leave the capital in the search of a witch or wizard that knows the way to break the spell. They eventually get to one that reveals the solution.

In a Cinderella-esque move, Sharaman summons the most beautifull princesses of closer kingdoms and persian noblewomen in a desperate try to find the true love of his son among them, the one that would be meant to give him the awakening kiss.

Tamina is widely claimed to be the prettiest of them all, fame has practically turned her into a middle eastern Helen of Troy ( and this kinda also happens in canon. 85% of the dialogue from guys that aren´t Dastan regarding her is " omg she is so hot!). Most expect she would be the one in greater conditions to succeed, and that's why Garsiv is sent by the king to bring her himself. Bis begs to be taken in the journey out of pure loyalty to his friend, hoping to help in his salvation, and with a mix of his own men and Dastan's friends Garsiv forms the Company for the travel to Alamut.

However, Nizam also believes this and he sends some of the people who obbey him in hopes they would get first to the princess and bring her to him. The company of Garsiv is on a time race with them without knowing they are people sent by his own uncle to stop Dastan's awakening.

When Tamina is presented with all of this, she is in disbelief. She may be a priestess and knows lots of things about magic, but the fact that people assume she would be the true love of the prince of Persia just because she is pretty is...

Offensive, she wants to refuse at first merely because she is a really self aware woman and would screaming the ancient times version of a " how dare you to objectualize me like that!". Garisv is not good at being a humble requester and she gets easily infuriated. Only the heartfelt beggings of Bis, who tells her they are just trying to do the best to bring his best friend back, convince her of joining them.

She sincerely doubts she could make any difference. At least untill, after a dangerous journey with the Company sent by Nizam hot on their heels, they arrive to the persian capital and she contemplates the sleeping prince for the first time.

She gets the strange feeling of having seen that man before ( peraphs in a dream? yes, im stealing this from Disney's Sleeping Beauty) even tho she is just meeting him. King and princes are expectant, watching from afar in the same room begging to their gods for their loved one.

Dastan looks dreamy beautifull, lost in a peacefull but never ending sleep while the sun rays caress him from the window of the bedroom. The small crowd watching reminds her of how loved he is and she doesn't hesitate.

She kisses him and, only seconds afterwards, his beautifull eyes are open wide staring at her in confussion.

He feels like if he would have passed from one dream to another.

[fictional-character-whore]

CHAPTER 1: The Greenie Named Thomas

SUMMARY - All the boys in the Maze thought that Alby, the Leader of the Gladers, was the first ever to come up in the box into the Glade. But what if they were wrong? What if there was another Glader who arrived before him, someone who had been there since day one, someone who suffered with her friends and struggled to find a way out of the dreadful Maze that has trapped them for three years? But none of them knew for sure and the only clues they had to this person's existence was bright coloured paint that splattered the walls of the Maze and bark of the forest trees. Perhaps there were a certain few Gladers that still made contact with her during their days in the Maze. And perhaps one of them visited her more than the others. But when a Greenie enters the Glade and everything starts to change, will this mystery Glader reveal herself to help escape the Maze for good, or will she continue to hide from them all and risk both her freedom, friendships and a possible relationship?

WARNINGS - trauma, physical violence, blood, i don’t think i got that far in this fic and i can’t remember what i wrote in it so let me know if i missed any warnings, i don’t think this fic was too bad tho in terms of tws, cringe af 

Lydia's POV

It's been just over three years since I had arrived in the glade, it's been three years since I had watched my friends die and kill each other because of fear and panic, it's been three years since I thought I lost the person I cared about the most, it's been three years since I abandoned the Gladers to hide within the Maze to let my heart turn to stone and rid myself of almost all emotion, only relying on my physical and mental strength to survive the dangers of the maze. It's been three years since I was forgotten by most of my friends.

But there's plenty of time to retell my tragic tale of woe in detail later, for I haven't properly introduced myself. My name is Lydia, and just like all the boys that I've been trapped with, I have no memory of the outside world or anything besides the last three years that I have spent inside the Glade. Although most of them don't even know I actually exist, all they know is that there's someone or something that roams around the forest past the Deadheads and in the Maze, painting the trees and stone walls with bright colours and pictures during the night. They think I'm like some kind of spirit or legend that lives in the Maze and I have to say, it's pretty funny to listen to some of the things the newer Gladers come up with about me when they gossip with each other.

But I do more than just sneak around during the night painting trees, I sit on the walls of the maze and high up in the trees, watching and waiting for anything suspicious or potentially dangerous to happen around the Glade or in the Maze, and if I do spot something I report it right away to the leader of the Gladers; Alby.

After I had entered the Glade he had come up in the box a month later and we had become very good friends. We had spent many years together in the Glade trying to figure out how to survive the Maze and its threatening features with the gradual help of the other boys that had each come into the Glade month after month. We had been through hell together and it had caused a bond to form over the two of us. We trusted each other with our lives, and when I decided to go into hiding within the Glade and Maze, he had been kind enough to respect my wishes but still remain in contact with me when things got troublesome.

But he wasn't the only Glader that knew who I was. Minho: the keeper of the Runners, he knew I was alive because of the maze. During the days and nights when the Runner's aren't in certain parts of the maze, I would seek through them with my many jars of different coloured paint and paint the walls, covering their surfaces in a large variety of colours that I had made, and designing patterns and images of our dead friends faces. I had painted millions of images that covered entire walls from top to bottom, with both dark and vibrant colours, which in a way was me making my mark in the maze so as not just the Runners and Gladers knew who I was but the people that created this place and the people to arrive after my time, that is of we didn't escape this place first.

Although painting the Maze walls during the night was not a simple or easy task, the Grievers made sure of that. The Grievers were annoying little buggers that liked to chase me for hours on end throughout the always changing Maze pathways, occasionally catching me and giving my arms and legs a few scratches before I fought them off and got away. I had learnt to avoid and fight them during my time of secrecy over the past two years I had spent in the Maze and in a way I'm grateful for that. It gave me the chance to learn how to properly defend and protect myself and it allows me to watch over the Runners without worrying greatly if I have to step in and help them, which most of the time I don't.

Alby usually makes me kill the banished or stung Gladers once the Maze doors close, just so they don't have to suffer a night with the Grieves and a painful death. But I don't usually help the Runners or other Gladers without order from Alby, I only ever willingly help Minho, whether it was directing him in a certain direction in the Maze even though he already knew exactly where to go, or discussing the changes in the maze even though he already knew every exact change, or just chatting with him in general. Unlike my bond with Alby, I had a somewhat less formal and more carefree friendship with Minho. When I'm with Alby I would be discussing urgent matters with him about the Maze and the Glade, but when I'm with Minho I'll be cracking jokes and messing around with him in the Maze. In a way I thought of Minho as my best friend and thought of Alby as a the brother I never had, that is if I ever even had a brother before I came into the Maze, and although it was risky to interact with the two of them because I didn't want to be exposed to the rest of the Glade, I enjoyed talking to them immensely. It could get really lonely hiding from everyone sometimes and when I took the opportunity to talk to them, even if it was only for e second, I instantly felt less lonely then I did before.

But talking to Alby or Minho wasn't as good as talking to Newt. No one could ever make me feel less lonely or happy than Newt could. In all honesty I think he's the love of my life and I couldn't be more thankful to have him here with me. He was one of the first few Gladers that entered the Maze after me, and when we met I was sure that there was an instant connection between the two of us and I knew for sure that I wouldn't be able to survive this place without him. So, I protected him with everything I had, he was my one priority at the time, and I had promised myself that I wasn't going to leave the Maze without him. When everyone started going rabid during the first year I had protected him and he had protected me, making sure each other were safe and able to survive that faze of our friends panic before we found peace with each other. But when that one morning came and I found Minho carrying Newt covered in blood through the Maze and Glade, I swear I felt my heart stop and my whole world come crashing down on me. That day I thought I had lost him, and I was ready to join him any second, but then he woke up and I found out what he had done.

That day was the day I broke. Newt had broken me, caused my last sliver of sanity to slither out of me and disappear forever. The boy I loved had driven me insane and caused me to hit my breaking point. And that was the day I had disappeared, the day I ran away into the depths of the Maze, the day I abandoned my remaining friends to destroy each other while I destroyed myself from the inside out.

I had forgiven Newt not long after I had left and the pain I had felt from his attempted suicide had turned to guilt for abandoning him at the time he needed me the most. So as a way of communicating with him and telling him that I was alive and well and that I still loved him while he was healing, I left him things to find, little things like tiny flowers and bits of tree bark that I had painted. When he had fully healed and was walking again I started painting the trees of the woods as a sign of my existence, because I knew he wouldn't go back in the Maze again to look for me, not after what he tried to do and the paint marks I left on the trees were easy enough for him to find anyway.

I only started actually talking to him again over half a year ago. He had walked into the forest and accidentally found Alby and I discussing a recent banishment of a stung Glader while he was looking for some kind of plant or fertilizer for the Track Hoes crops. At first he was angry at the both of us for hiding my presence from him, then he was angry at me for leaving which also caused me to get angry at him just because he was angry. But that anger had turned to sadness and relief over next few days and once he had accepted the position I had put myself in and we had slowly rebuilt our friendship over time. We both knew that our relationship and friendship would never be the same as it was before, but we were surprisingly okay with that, and to be honest I think we were both just happy to be together again.

But I still loved him, and I knew he didn't love me anymore for what I did, and I didn't blame him. But I wanted to love him so bad and it broke me even more with every passing day as the realisation grew and my emotions faded further away inside me. But I've learned to live with it, and I have accepted that this is how I am now, and that Newt doesn't want me anymore and that it's all my fault.

And now I'm here, living in solitude as the Glade stays peaceful and grows every day, having the Maze fully mapped and a new Greenie and supplies each month to help us survive they hell the creators have put us in'.

Today was Greenie Day, the day when the Box comes up to the surface to deliver its monthly load of supplies and another Glader. So far I was the only girl in the Glade and having to listen and watch all the retarded things those shanks do can get very tiresome, so every month when that Box comes up, I hope and pray to whatever god that was out there, that there's a girl sitting inside the metal meshed cage instead of a boy. But I'm never lucky enough, and today was just the same as any other day.

When I heard the alarm that signalled the Box's arrival, I was sitting high up on one of the Maze walls that fenced in the Glade, watching the Gladers go by their day doing their jobs, and thinking about Newt who very rarely ever left my thoughts. I sighed and slowly stood up, dusting off my pants and picking up my now empty water bottle that was sitting beside me on the wall. I put the bottle in my bag and turned towards the Maze taking a second to gaze out at the seemingly endless pattern of stone walls beneath me, I then began using those stone walls to climb my way down to the ground. Once my boot clad feet hit the stone ground I began walking throughout its walls, making my way to its exit that entered the Glade.

As I walked I watched as the sun's rays hit the stone walls, lighting up the vines of ivy and the occasional splatter of paint I had placed onto the thick stone. The sun's light seemed to make the plants and paint glow in an angelic way, adding to their beauty and contrasting to the parts of the Maze where the sun couldn't reach, making everything seem dim and dark, like a place where monsters would hide. I always thought the Maze had this kind of beauty to it, much unlike the other Gladers opinions. They all think it's some kind of death trap, a torture device designed to kill them slowly while the creators watch on in amusement, but I don't think that. Sure, it basically is a death trap with no way out that had terrifying monsters created to hunt and kill us all, but I never saw it as just that. To me the maze was a marvellous creation, a creation designed to test our strength and intelligence, a test to see just how far we will go to get out and although that may also seem cruel it is wondrous at the same time. The way the creators have made a maze that can move on its own, and the amount of intelligence, time and devotion that would have been needed to create such a thing seems completely impossible to me, so the fact that someone has actually done it impresses me greatly.

I turned right around a corner and found the entrance to the Glade, I slowed my pace and crept forward towards the end of the long passageway where the stone met grass. I stopped and stood once my feet hit the very edge of the stone just letting my feet miss the soft grass and dirt, turning my head towards the location of the box to see all the boys gathered around it, looking down at the most likely terrified Greenie inside. I watched as someone threw the Greenie out of the box and onto the ground at the feet of the Gladers, from this distance I could just make out a dark haired boy around the average size of the others thrashing around on the ground as the others torment and tease him. But then the Greenie shot up and started sprinting as fast as he could away from the Gladers and unknowingly towards the entrance of the Maze where I stood.

The Gladers started cheering him on watching him run from them in amusement not noticing my presence in his path, meanwhile I gripped the strap of my bag that hung on my shoulder and prepared to stop him and disappear into the Maze again before the others caught up.

But then he tripped.

The Greenie tripped over his own feet, just as he got halfway to the Maze entrance, and fell to the ground, rolling to a stop flat on his face as the other boys laughed heartily at him. A scowl pressed my lips as I listened to the boys laugh at the Greenie who was clearly scared out of his mind, and as I watch him slowly get to his feet and spin around in a slow circle looking at the massive walls that were trapping him in here with the rowdy boys, I suddenly caught his eye.

I stood there for a second, stunned slightly that he had spotted me so quickly, staring back at him with a scowl that hadn't left my lips since I first saw him. It was only when I heard the other boys irritating voices did I break the little staring contest we seemed to have been having, but when I looked towards the boys my hazel eyes instantly latched onto a pair of brown ones that I had seen too many times to count, already staring into mine. For a second the scowl on my face faltered and the corner of my lips turned upwards ever so slightly into the start of a smile. But I soon realised that the Greenie was starting to walk towards the maze entrance where I stood, and the group of joking boys were mindlessly following him.

So, with one last look at Newt, I sent him a wink and quickly turned around, dashing back into the Maze, away from the others to go find Minho.

✦⭑Time Skip⭑✦

Later that evening I had snuck back into the Glade before Minho and Ben got back and the doors closed without the Gladers knowing and watched from afar under a patch of ivy as the Greenie got tackled by Gally. Gally could be a very difficult person sometimes and to be perfectly honest I was not very fond of him at all, even when we first met in the Glade two or three years ago. Sure, he can be nice and a decent human being on the rare occasion where he's in a really good mood, but most of the time he's just cocky and rude, letting his ego take control of him and trying to show off as much as possible. He uses his slightly larger size and strength as an advantage to power over the other Gladers, he thinks he's better than most but really he's just as dumb as most of the other Gladers.

Sick of their petty arguing, I used the chance of their distraction to move further through the ivy and towards the crops and trees of the forest where I'll hide for the rest of the night. Minho had told me earlier when I was wandering the Maze that they were having their annual Greenie celebration and that he thought it would be fun for me to come and join them this time, but I said no obviously. Just like Newt, Minho didn't approve of my choice to hide in the Maze like Alby did. He thought that I was just being stupid and that I should rejoin the Gladers so as we could hang out freely and even though I've told him that I wasn't going to change my mind, I had actually debated coming back many times when I was alone in the Maze and forest. My mind was uncertain about my choice and sometimes I regretted doing it often but in the end I did what needed to be done, I did what was best for myself and everyone else, even if my decision hurt the people I had cared about.

But usually when they had these celebrations I would hide in a tree on the edge of the forest and watch them joke around and have fun, and occasionally meet up with Newt and Minho secretly in the forest somewhere away from the others. I did miss hanging out with everyone and even though watching them all from afar wasn't very fun, it still made me happy to see them happy.

When I finally reached the trees of the forest and made sure that no one was around to see me, I dashed out from the ivy and jumped up onto a tree trunk where is quickly scrambled up to the top branches. I looked out through the tree's branches and leaves to check that no one saw me and when the coast was clear I turned around on the branch and started jumping and swinging from each tree branch, going past the Deadheads and getting further and further into the forest until I reached where the trees of the forest met the Maze walls.

Over the many months that I have been living in the forest and Maze, I had quickly learned that I needed more shelter than just a tree and its leaves when it came to sleeping and resting. So, I had cautiously begun to "borrow" some of the Glader's supplies and had built a somewhat makeshift treehouse shelter thingy. I had placed and tied down a bunch of thick enough logs across two thick branches that were high up in a tree that grew in the very corner of the Glade's forest against the Maze walls, which acted as a floor. I had gathered some more logs and placed them above on two more branches with a small thin tarp that I had "borrowed" from the supplies from the Box one time, spreading it out across the top of the logs and letting it hang down the side, having positioned it at an angle where it would stop the sun and rain from hitting the longs underneath. I had bits of rope tying down the corners of the tarp to other branches so as it wouldn't fly away from the wind. I had also "borrowed" a hammock from the boys and had tied it up so as when I was laying in it I was under the logs and tarp and just above the logs tied down underneath. Over time I had made other things that added onto the main part of the tree, small things like holes in the trunk that I used as shelves and bags that hung from branches containing food, water, paint and other supplies I had gathered.

It didn't seem like much and it really wasn't compared to what the boys had built but to me it was a home, it was a place to sleep and rest, and that's really all I needed. Newt, Alby and Minho didn't know about this place though and I intend on keeping it that way because if they knew where I was staying then they would try and visit me all the time which would risk my exposure even more and they would also probably use it against me to convince me to try and get me to come back to the others, and I couldn't have that.

I swung my body forward and let go of the branch I was holding, propelling myself forward to land swiftly onto the secure logs in my tree. I huffed out a relieved and exhausted sigh, chucking my bag off my shoulders and hooking it onto a branch beside me, I unstrapped the leather vest from my chest that held my knives and stuffed it into my bag. I grabbed an apple from the small pile sitting in a hole in the trunk of the tree I had made a while back and dropped down into my hammock, taking a large bite of the tasty fruit as I got into a comfortable position. I let my leg hang off the edge of the hammock and my arm come up to rest behind my head, letting my eyes close as the light breeze hit my face, drying the thin layer of sweat that stuck to my skin, making it feel slightly clammy and heavy from the dirt covering it. I took slowly took more bites of my apple as I listened silently to the branches and leaves of the trees around me shake and crunch in the wind, with the occasional faint bird whistle or the buzz of a bugs.

The evening was peaceful and quiet, but it wouldn't last long. Soon the boys will have finished building their massive bonfire and whatever else they set up in preparation for their Greenie celebration and then all hell will break loose. So once the sun had set and I could start to faintly hear the loud voices of the Gladers laughing and talking far too loudly, I knew the party had finally started and it would only get louder and wilder as the night continued on.

I rolled out of my hammock to my feet and threw my finished apple core down to the ground where I heard it crunch against the fallen leaves and twigs beside as I jumped down to the ground seconds later. It had gotten dark quickly in the little time I had laid in my hammock resting and if it wasn't for the massive bonfire the boys had made I probably wouldn't be able to see a single thing in front of me, but even if there was no large bonfire I was used to travelling in the dark and I had walked through this forest that many times I could weave through the trees with my eyes closed and still know where I was going and where I was.

I walked as quietly as I could, making my steps light so as the leaves and sticks I stood on wouldn't crunch too loudly or draw too much attention to my location even though they probably wouldn't hear me because of how noisy they were being. When I got close enough to the edge of the forest where I could see the other boys clear enough I climbed up another tree and swiftly jumped onto the branches of the closer trees. I took one last swing and landed on a branch that belonged to the tree I usually sat in during these celebrations. It was a tree that grew on the very edge of the forest beside a hut that the builders had built; it had thick enough branches for me to sit on up very high so as I couldn't be seen by the boys if they looked in the general direction of the tree and when I sat on a particular branch there was a gap in the leaves that allowed me to have a clear view of the whole area where they set up the bonfire where most of the boys hang around to keep warm and see through the light it provides, it also allowed me to see the tables and logs where they sat chatting away and eating and drinking the foul drink Gally makes, and where Gally spent most of his time showing off. So, I sat down with my back against the trunk and watched in amusement as the boys goofed around and made fools of themselves while my hands mindlessly fiddling with a tiny knife that I always kept in my right boot.

Obviously I had missed the start of the party where the bonfire was lit so all the boys currently had half empty drinks in their hands and food stuffed in their mouths and from the looks of all their faces as they ate, Frypan had really made an effort with the food tonight. It looked so good and my stomach growled at the sight of it, hungry for the delicious food that I couldn't have unless I stole it. But it isn't my party and I didn't need any food, I was just happy to sit and watch the others enjoy it without me.

As my eyes lazily scanned the crowd of boys, having already spotted Minho who was sitting with the runners quietly eating his food, Alby who was standing at the edge of the pit with some other boys watching Gally who was in wrestling someone, Frypan who was having a great time laughing with some of the Slicers and his fellow Cooks, and a few others that were scattered throughout the area, when they finally landed on the person I had subconsciously been looking for; Newt. He was currently sitting on the grass a little ways away from the others, holding a stick with meat on it which Frypan called a kebab, and a jar of Gally's drink in his other hand, looking out at the Glade and Maze walls in front of him. But he wasn't alone of course, sitting next to him on his right was the new Greenie that came in the box today, and from the looks of it they were having a very serious conversation, which was most likely Newt explaining things about the Glade and the Maze to the confused Greenie.

But suddenly, Newt turned his head around and looked straight at me, his face showing signs of worry and warning and it made my heart beat slightly faster. Newt knew exactly where I was since I always sat here when they had these celebrations just like Alby and Minho did, and usually when he looked over to me we would both end up in the forest somewhere and ditching the others to hang out by ourselves, having our own little party together.

But this time it was different.

The Greenie turned his head and looked in the general direction that Newt was, trying to find what he was looking at and when he finally spotted me his eyes widened in surprise and recognition and I knew exactly what look meant and what had happened. The Greenie had asked Newt who I was, he knew I was real instead of a hallucination he had from the amount of adrenaline and fear he was feeling when he arrived in the Glade. This had happened on a few occasions with the new Greenies; they would spot me somewhere in the Glade or Maze at least once or twice, but then I would take more caution and control over the situation and use more effort to hide myself from them, and over time they would just think they had imagined me and forget I even existed.

But that look that Newt gave me was one of the only looks that made me irritated with him. That was a look at said, "You dumb ass. How are you so bad at hiding yourself? You better get your ass back in that forest before I kick it there myself so he doesn't see you anymore." I was tempted to just stay put and see what his reaction would be, but I didn't want to ruin the party for him. So just like every other time Newt told me to do something, I obeyed obediently with and without question.

Sighing frustratingly, angry that I have to leave the party, I swing my legs over the side of the branch that faced away from the Gladers and jumped down onto another lower branch and swung away from the group, but I wasn't going far. Tonight, I didn't feel like going back to my hammock and sleeping through the sound of everyone's happy cheers and voices from the other side of the forest. Tonight, I was going to stay and watch them from another tree, one that didn't have as good a view as my original one but was still good enough and to be honest I'm glad I stayed, especially since I got to see what happened next in .

After I left, Newt must have changed the conversation subject and taken the Greenie on a mini tour to introduce him to some of the other Gladers, which somehow led to the Greenie getting dragged into by Gally who wanting to show off and boost his ever growing ego more. I sat down quickly as a large crowd gathered around the edge of the Circle, all of them excited to see how tough the Greenie was, and to be honest, after seeing him run across the Glade when he arrived I was pretty curious to see what he's made of.

"Alright, the rules are simple Greenie," Gally said as they both started circling each other inside of the Circle ring, "I try to push you outa the Circle, and you try to last more than five seconds."

Everyone laughed at that last part and just as the Greenie nodded his head in understanding, Gally shouted "Ready?" and instantly charged at him, not giving him any time to register what was happening or reply.

Gally grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him backwards into three guys on the outside of the Circle who caught him and pushed him straight back in unsteadying his balance, letting Gally grab him again and push the Greenie behind him where he fell face first into the sand.

"Come on Greenie," Gally said with a wide smile plastered on his ugly face, doing a weird walk backwards as the others chattered and laughing at the wrestling match taking place in front of them, "We're not done yet."

The Greenie stood up and shook the sand of his shirt in one swift motion, staring at Gally with an angry and frustrated glint in his gaze, "Stop calling me Greenie."

All the boys oohed, "Stop calling you that?" Gally said acting innocent even though everyone knew he definitely wasn't, "Well what do you want to be called? Shank?"

All the boys burst out in a fit of laughter, all of them agreeing to the new name Gally suggested for the Greenie, "What do you think boys? Does he look like a Shank?" Gally asked the others standing around the Circle, earning another round of laughter to break out.

I scowled at their reactions to Gally's teasing and scoffed when the smile on his face widened even more when the others laughed at his "joke". The Greenie suddenly ran at Gally full speed, going in to tackle him but Gally was stronger than him and his reflexes were sharper too, so he managed to stand his ground against the Greenie easily, throwing the Greenie around and pushing him back to the ground at the inside of the Circle's edge.

"You know what?" Gally said as the Greenie got back to his feet, "I think I've settled on Shank."

The Greenie ran at Gally again, getting closer to him this time and grabbed him by the waist and trying desperately to push him backwards, but Gally was still too strong for him and started to push him backwards instead, causing the Greenie's feet to dragging in the sand as he tried to dig his heels in it to gain some kind of leverage against Gally but it didn't work well enough and he was getting ever so close to the edge of the Circle. But just as everyone including Gally thought that he was going to finally push the Greenie fully out of the Circle ring, the Greenie quickly repositioned his arms and pulled Gally towards him while he twisted out of his grip, falling forward behind Gally who fell down in the sand with his head mere inches from the Circle border.

Both shocked and surprised, Gally sat on the ground slowly processing what had happened and letting an anger at being beaten and humiliated in front of the rest of the Gladers by a Greenie settle inside him as everyone cheered and oohed in at what had happened. A smile broke out on my face at the sight of Gally getting thrown on the ground like that and the Greenie was smart to have thought to do that, but my smile was instantly wiped away in a second at what I should have expected to happen.

The Greenie stood up quickly, letting a triumphant smile spread across his face at his achievement, "Not bad for a Greenie huh?" Thomas asked but his victory was very short lived.

Gally, still laying on the ground, threw his legs out and swung them against the Greenie's legs, sending him flying backwards ass over head and back to the ground where he hit his head hard. I cringed slightly with the others standing around the Circle who had all watched how hard he hit his head and felt sympathy for him. Gally shouldn't have done that even if the others thought it was kinda cool, but the Greenie didn't seem to care about his head or what Gally had done to him in their mini fight. He instead started mumbling to himself, mumbling incoherent words that I couldn't hear from this distance over the noise of the others, but once he stood up and spoke louder a large smile made its way onto my lips.

"I remember my name!" He shouted happily to the group who stood in complete silence watching him, "I'm Thomas!"

"Thomas!" Alby suddenly shouted, breaking the silence and causing a wave of cheers and chants of his name to make its way through the group of boys as they all ran forward to congratulate him.

It was always so exciting for everyone when the Greenies remembered their names, especially on their first day. The fact that Thomas remembered his name during such an intense moment of the night just made the adrenaline and mood of the group lift dramatically and it was so intoxicating and contagious that I had to stop myself from jumping down and join them all in their joy and excitement. And the fact that all it took for him to remember it was a simple hit to the head from Gally was kinda funny too.

But sadly, all good things must come to an end.

The sound of an ear piercing scream was suddenly heard throughout the Glade from inside the Maze, instantly shutting everyone up and drawing their full attention to the walls of the Maze that lay across the other side of the Glade. My head instantly shot up towards it just like the others but unlike them I had a job to do and that screech was my alarm to get going and start my work.

I looked down at the crowd of boys and spotted Alby looking my way with a familiar serious expression on his face; he must have spotted me during Gally and Thomas's Circle match. When I looked into his eyes I knew he was telling me to go and check it out and then report back to him immediately. So, I nodded my head giving him the signal that I understood what he was telling me and that I would do it.

I turned around, jumping from the tree branch and set out to go and find out what had made a Griever scream like that, hoping that it wasn't anything too serious. But little did I know that a certain pair of familiar brown eyes and another pair of unfamiliar eyes had both looked my way as well, watching me jump away into the night and right into the face of danger.

CHAPTER 1 - CHAPTER 2 - CHAPTER 3

[stoicbreviary]

Sonnets from Marcus Aurelius 1

Much like the poems by Ellis Walker on Epictetus, I came across these sonnets by James Vila Blake on Marcus Aurelius quite by accident. This time, in search of poetry with a Stoic character, I found them scanned in an obscure corner of the internet, the digital equivalent of a dusty shelf in a back room, and I have yet to hold a physical copy in my hands. Though I have always preferred the feel of real paper, this version will surely do for the moment. 

I had never heard of the author before, and a bit of digging revealed that James Vila Blake (1842-1925) was a Unitarian minister, best known for his essays, sermons, and as an editor of hymns. Though I am largely unfamiliar with the Unitarian tradition, I was quite taken by his words on the mission of his church: 

Love is the spirit of this church, and service is its law. This is our great covenant: To dwell together in peace, to seek the truth in love, and to help one another. 

Beyond all our theological bickering, it would be nice if more of us could hold to such basic principles. 

In his foreword, Rev. Blake explains how he came to write these poems, so I will only add how happy I was to see someone taking the time to reflect on the writings of Marcus Aurelius with such reverence and affection. If I had a gift for verse, I would attempt something similar, as a sort of homage, but I can only manage my cumbersome reflections. 

There are 31 sonnets here, each working from a specific passage in the Meditations, plus a proem and and epode. Blake includes these sections of the original text before the poems, both in the Greek and his own translation. 

Now while my Latin has become passable over the years, I have sadly never been able to move beyond the most rudimentary grammar and vocabulary for Greek, and so I cannot make any judgments about the quotations I see here. For the sake of completeness, I have included the Greek as it appears in the scan, fixing only the most obvious typos, and I have left the rest as it is. 

If you happen to have any talent in Greek, and you find glaring mistakes, which are quite likely in such a transcription, I would encourage you to embrace the task of a thorough edit. I'm sure a proper academic could do this in very little time, by comparing the Blake copy to a scholarly edition. Your effort would be of great help in keeping this fine work alive! 

—3/2010 

* * * * * 

Sonnets from Marcus Aurelius James Vila Blake THOS. P. HALPIN COMPANY, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Copyright by JAMES VILA BLAKE, 1920 TO THE Rev. A. W. OXFORD, M. O. LONDON, ENGLAND 

FOREWORD When I had read the book of Marcus Aurelius many times, and was reading it after a long interval once again, which was also in company and aloud, I noticed the worthy matter for poetic treatment presented by the great Emperor’s noblest and most characteristic sayings. I marked such passages, and they remained for many years marked and no more. 

Then I remembered them, recurred to them, and found my former impression confirmed. Hence these heroic hymns, as perhaps I may call them, the sonnet appearing to me the poetic form most suitable and germane. Do or can the lofty thoughts herein versed, gain from verse? The reader must judge, and possibly the fortunes of the present recital may afford some indication whether the stern and high terseness of the original can profit by the expansion, diction and imagery of verse. 

Certainly in clarity, no; but in persuasiveness, possibly yes. The question seems much like a query whether excellent drawing in ink can gain by brush and color. What is proper matter for poesy, is a question belonging to poetic technics, and there is wide space and a thousand species between a geometrical demonstration or a bit of chemical nomenclature, and the heroics of a ballad; but at first blush perhaps it may be surmised that whatever thought is big enough and humane enough, may lay all Nature under contribution, and need not disdain the warrant of poetic fancy, trope, form or diction. 

As to the diction, for aught that appears, the word rondure which Shakespeare liked, is as good as roundness, or sphericity, or circularity, or curve, or curvature, or concavity, or convexity, or circumbendibus, and if this be granted, poetic language scores a point perhaps, though I have known poets and others look askance at “rondure.” 

The Greek and a prose rendering are placed together, and the sonnet opposite them. In the rendering I have not sought to give a literal transcription of the original, but rather the embosomed spirit and redolence of it. But it may be hoped this will be acceptable, since for those who might disapprove the Greek is added. 

The text is accepted from “The Communings with Himself of Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, Emperor of Rome, together with his Speeches and Sayings. A Revised Text and a Translation into English, by C. R. Haines, M.A.,, F.S.A. London, William Heinemann. New York, G. P. Putnam’s Sons.” 

—J. V. B. 

The Greek excerpts are taken by means of a photo-etching process. Of course the result would have been more elegant if I had employed a Greek compositor; but the virtue of the text is not affected, and J have done what I could under the conditions. 

* * * * * 

PROEM 

Marcus, thy stoic wit lacks naught in-door;  Out-door methinks thou shouldst be more at play,  Hill, vale, wood, brook, be fellows by thy way,  And wider wanderings on the sea-green shore.  Thou shouldst a stilly meadow pool explore  For doubled lustres of the early day,  Or soft reflections of capacious gray  That hath the meadow’s verdure tented o’er.  O if a rose had trembled to thy kiss  More than some culprit quailed before thy power,  Mayhap I had not now been writing this,  Thou being too great to gain thy day and hour.  Well, well, wide soul thou wert, kind heart, mind’s dower,  And to thee I am pious and submiss. 

* * * * * 1. Εωθεν προλέγειν ἑαυτῷ: συντεύξομαι περιἔργῳ, ἀχαρίστῳ, ὑβριστῇ, δολερῷ, βασκάνῳ, ἀκοινωνήτῳ. πάντα ταῦτα συμβέβηκεν ἐκείνοις παρὰ τὴν ἄγνοιαν τῶν ἀγαθῶν καὶ κακῶν. ἐγὼ δὲ τεθεωρηκὼς τὴν φύσιν τοῦ ἀγαθοῦ, ὅτι καλόν, καὶ τοῦ κακοῦ, ὅτι αἰσχρόν, καὶ τὴν αὐτοῦ τοῦ ἁμαρτάνοντος φύσιν, ὅτε μοι συγγενής, οὐχὶ αἵματος ἣ σπέρματος τοῦ αὐτοῦ, ἀλλὰ νοῦ καὶ θείας ἀπομοίρας μέτοχος, οὔτε βλαβῆναι ὑπό τινος αὐτῶν δύναμαι: αἰσχρῷ γάρ με οὐδεὶς περιβαλεῖ: οὔτε ὀργίζεσθαι τῷ συγγενεῖ δύναμαι οὔτε ἀπέχθεσθαι αὐτῷ. 

At early morning warn yourself thus: Today I shall happen on busy-bodies, ungrateful fellows, insolent boors, deceitful plotters, spiteful churls, unkind neighbors. All these ills have befallen them by reason of their ignorance of good and evil. But I have understood the nature of the good, that it is beautiful, and of the evil, that it is ugly, and of the ill-behaved man himself, that he is of the same source, kith and kin, with me—not of the same blood and flesh, but sharing in reason and a divine part; for which cause I neither can be injured by any one of them (since no one can wrap me up in baseness) nor can I be angry or hold bitter feeling against this kinsman of mine. 

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 2.1 

1. 

When the sun riseth, consider what he sees,  And tell thyself that surely through the day  Thou shalt see like the sun. Not hills, and trees  On them, green meads, kine grazing, lambs at play,  Soft clouds, and birds sipping at brooks—not these  I mean, albeit they sparkle wide away;  But surly men, churls, fops at insolent ease,  The gossip, knaves that envy, steal, betray.  But what! If so they be, be so must I?  Or to do like them, is that arms to meet them?  So hapless they in sense, ’tis mine to ply  My wisdom for them, not flout or ill-entreat them.  Fine wit ’s most dowered, and hath his best estate,  When civil most to wits less fortunate. 

[kiara66]

I watched half of Delicious in Dungeon

And here's my honest review and when I say review I mean rambling about stuff

Will have spoilers ofc

So I just stop watching it like even 10 minutes ago probably from writing this. Along with that I have a terrible memory and I've been doing this since 1/2 something AM to 6 AM so tiredness might be getting me a bit, but doesn't matter

The show was pretty good in my opinion. I love the characters, the silly dynamics, the animation but here's something I don't really take the time to appreciate often world building! And I don't just mean lower because I always appreciate lore I mean like little stuff like explaining the dungeon ecosystem, and giving little facts about certain creatures or explain how they work by using other animals as references. Even something simple like saying people used to mine in the dungeons for gold goes with the lore, and world building! Feels very thought out, and its own world which is great!

Yet let's back to the characters real quick. Laios he sure an interesting one. I know a lot of people really like this guy but I didn't get it at first. I didn't dislike him. I was very neutral on him. Tho when he said stuff like it's lucky his sister got eaten because they can have sherbet. That was something... but during the last few episodes I watched his character was becoming more interesting and likable to me so I started to like him a bit more. Honestly I feel like his character is going to become more interesting from now on which is a very good sign and maybe I'll finally fully get the hype.

Shenshi it's also an interesting one, but I definitely did like him more than Laios. I thought he was very interesting especially with his genuine interest in the dungeon, and all the monsters inhabiting it. Also something I haven't really mentioned the show is unlike a lot of other anime it doesn't really have many fanservice moments so far and the only panty shots we ever get is from this guy. He's all doing us a service. I want to say more but words are not with me right now and I'm not sure how to describe him so we move on.

Chilpchuck which is a very stupid name but probably a species thing. He's a fun guy and has his cool moments. Honestly out of all the main characters I saw him the least. The most exposure I got was an edit to Short King, and honestly he lives up to it. That sword to the dragon's eye was very epic but I'm still wondering how Laios knew about it since he was running away when it happened but hey continuity am I right? He just got a spunk to him and I really like the character when I actually got more of it. I'm still not sure what species he is though he's very small but he's definitely not a dwarf. I'm certain it's been at least mentioned once but I don't remember.

Macille I can see her being very annoying to some people but for me I loved her. I get it she will complained, she was very squeamish, blah blah, but I did find her fun especially with other characters also the reveal of ancient blood magic was great but we'll get into. The moments of showing her struggle of worring about being a burden being showed a few times was very nice I liked it. Besides that her friendship in the past with Falin was very nice and they're absolutely cuties! Also her just dedication to try to get Falin back even when she was not in the great state said a lot about her character and it was great.

Falin I basically fell in love with her (/p) when I saw her in those flashbacks. She's just such a cutie yet a bit reckless it seemed. I will be honest I was technically spoiled that she was alive, but when I saw that skeleton I thought I gaslighted myself. It hurt more since I had so much hope that she would be there and she wasn't! Yet it's all good because forbidden blood magic, tho at first I didn't realize she was red because of all the blood so I thought she wasn't formed which honestly I kind of wish she just stayed like that but eh. The best way I can describe her is "this character is so cute. Oh she a little fuck up actually" Also along with that I knew Macille was gay, but I wasn't expecting Falin for some reason. Oh yes let me just have a bath with my girl best friend as I tried to hold her hand to give her magic, and we so happen to be forced to sleep in the same bed. If they're not dating by the end of the season I'm rioting.

Honestly I wasn't sure what was next at first since they were at the red dragon, and that seemed like it would be the end of at least the first season, but no we got like 11 so episodes to go. If I had to guess it's definitely something to do with those gnome guys or whatever and our little traumatized party probably trying to get some money since Chilpchuck mentioned something about that. Of course with exploring more characters like that guy that apparently wanted to marry Falin. He's going to have the rudest awakening of his life.

Anyway good show good intro, good outro. Hopefully I will watch the rest before I can't anymore since I have a very bad time at not doing things even if I want to. Like I watched the first episode almost a month ago so I remember nothing of the first episode really.

[empireofembers]

"If Dany was doing evil things, Jon would've killed her" THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I SAID IN MY ORIGINAL POST. I was hypothetically saying that if the same thing were to happen in the book, Jon would've ended her all the same. Because Jon while being drastically different in the books he still would've found the murder of CHILDREN in such a brutal way wrong, despite it being Dany who is committing that murder or someone else.

I never said that the books are the same as the show, or mixed the two, you're the one who keeps bringing this concept up. Nor did I mention that Dany will do the same thing in the books... so idk where you got that from. Literally no one but GRRM knows about what is going to happen there. We can only make educated guesses based on our interpretation of characters. AGAIN MY POST WAS HYPOTHETICAL IN CASE THE SAME THING HAPPENS IN THE BOOKS AND HOW JON WOULD'VE ACTED IF THAT WERE TO HAPPEN, wheee. I didn't believe I would have to explain to someone the meaning of the word "if" but hwg.

Again, for a post that had nothing to do with Sansa you sure do mention her a lot. So I don't think you can say anything about sexism considering you brought up Sansa's character, even though she wasn't even mentioned in my original post, just to explain how much you hate her character and how she is a "treacherous snake", even tho she too is a abuse survivor because abuse comes in all shapes and forms.

For some reason, you also brought up what Sophie said about Sansa as if I am supposed to care about that.. Didn't Kit also compare the wildling situation with the Isnotreal-Palestine conflict? Am I supposed to also care about his interpretation? Because listen, I couldn't care less about how the actors see the characters because most of them don't even read the books or understand the characters they're playing. They are just given a script and they act based on it. Once again I am not sure why you keep touching on these ideas that aren't even the crux of the story or even mentioned here, it is significantly reducing the quality of your arguments.. that are not even that qualitative in the first place, sorry!

The proclamation that Sansa and LF were plotting against Jon or Arya is also wrong. I think you should rewatch season 6-7 since it is very obviously revealed that Sansa is playing the game (LF's own game against him) and testing LF. It is so very clearly shown when she double crosses him and Arya executes him. Dumb and dumber simply added those scenes of Sansa and Arya arguing for shock value, so that the audience would be surprised that S is actually planning to kill LF not Arya. But then again why do I bother saying this to someone who only selectively watches the show.

Also, my post never said any sexist thing about Dany. Can't you understand that complex characters can also be women, and a female character being killed by a male character with reason behind it doesn't mean it's inherently sexist, unless the intent is "oh i'm killing her because she is a woman". According to you, if Jon kills Dany after she kills KL population is immediately sexist, why is him killing Sansa after she supposedly betrays him multiple times not also sexist? As far as we know they are both women, both his family and they are both abuse victims. Please do me the courtesy of answering at least this question. Maybe it will help you reflect.

And fyi women that have been abused before (or in any circumstance can also make bad life choices... being abused doesn't give you "reason" to burn alive innocent people). Yes, it was a trauma response, but why not hold Sansa to the same standard as Dany considering Sansa is also a victim of abuse (yes, book Sansa too, since you love to mention about how I apparently haven't read the books as if this isn't some kind of a projection more than anything).

For someone who has read the books and loves so much to mention how I have supposedly not read them, you don't understand these characters and they are not one dimensional the way you're interpreting them. These characters are rounded, capable of a lot, they are unpredictable and the way they are written is complex. If anything it is an insult to George's writing that you fall so behind on understanding their characterization, since you know you've read the books and everything.

i'm sorry but i can't take it seriously when people say book jon wouldn't kill dany to protect his family or after what she did in kl.. yes, he absolutely would, even more firmly if anything

[souichioneshots]

Untitled Binzo x Reader Fic

SO uhhhh.... Binzo thinks about the reasons why he hates Y/N so much? IDK you guys are kinda like frenemies ???

This is the stupidest thing ive ever written...

Might make an NSFW continuation of this if anyone shows any interest tho lollll

Enjoy?????

Binzo could remember the day you two first met like it was yesterday.

He had been awoken by the sound of his father and uncle arguing in a nearby room. Although he could barely make out what they were saying, he could tell by the way he was screaming, his father had done something unbelievably stupid again.

As the door to his room slid open, Binzo quickly moved to ‘greet’ the sudden visitor, his chains holding him back just before he was able to reach the door. A smile spread across Binzo's face as he saw his father react in a panicked motion, jumping back to avoid his son's vicious attacks. However, Binzo's laughter was put to a stop when he saw a small figure move behind the older man.

Moving a bit to the side, Souichi revealed a girl, a little under Binzo’s age, who had been hiding behind him the entire time. She gripped onto the back of the false-gentleman’s suit jacket, obviously hesitant to enter the room.

Binzo's eyes widened in surprise as his father insisted, almost pushing her into the room forcefully. His eyes looked the girl up and down, trying to figure out why his father had brought her here, let alone why he decided it would be a good idea to bring her into the same room as him.

Her clothes were almost as tattered as his own. She had no shoes on her feet, but the socks that she wore were stained black with dirt and mud. From what he could see with the little lighting in his room, the exposed skin of her arms and legs were covered in scratches and bite marks. Her cold eyes stared at the pale boy as she walked in cautiously, immediately following the older man to the other side of the room. Binzo could remember how she ran her fingers through his father's greased-up hair as he placed the chains around her ankles. They exchanged a look that his mind could not understand at the time.

Getting up from the dirty floor, Souichi stated that the girl’s name was Y/N. A name so foreign to Binzo that he was sure it was made up.

As soon as his father finally left, Binzo tried to attack you. But, that was when he found out the truth. You were a monster just like him. An abomination that someone must have tried to get rid of, only for his own idiotic father to pick up and bring home like a kitten off the street. You bared your fangs at him as you backed away into the corner, trying to avoid his sudden yet expected attack. Binzo watched as you stayed low on the floor, staring at him with angered eyes.

He should have been happy to finally meet someone like him, but he wasn’t.

Binzo hated you.

You were an idiot. You could barely keep a hold on your victims, and on nights when you couldn’t secure a meal like him, you resorted to trying to catch and eat the bugs that crawled around the room. You were also idiotic enough to try to steal from him. Whenever he would get ahold of someone, you would try to get close and steal a small piece for yourself. Sometimes Binzo would be too busy to realize, but when he did, he would reach out as far as he could and use his long-sharp nails to scratch you away, leaving you to become a crying-hungry mess.

You also had a habit of not responding whenever he spoke to you. However, this was completely his fault. After you finally became comfortable enough to talk to him, he started to tease you, claiming that your voice was annoying and, using a piece of broken glass, threatening to cut out your pretty pink tongue to eat as a snack. From that day on, you didn’t utter a single word to him.

However, as time went by, Binzo started to find your presence to be slightly humorous. Specifically, whenever you tried to feed.

Binzo would always laugh whenever you dug your fangs too deep into someone’s neck and ended up getting completely doused in their blood when you pulled away. He thought it was a waste of a good drink, but worth it to see you freak out as you tried to stop the fast-paced bleeding.

Your hair also grew at an unnaturally fast rate as well. It was disgusting, but fun to pull on whenever he wanted to get your attention. It was also especially fun to watch your victims pull on your hair, stunning you for a moment, and getting a couple slaps and punches in as they tried to get away. But, Binzo wouldn’t allow that, stopping them at the last minute and dragging them back in your direction. However, you would always be too embarrassed and cry, refusing the meal he was kind enough to go after for you.

You were ungrateful. Idiotic. An amateur. Everything he hated bundled up into a small ball that dwelled in the corner of his room.

But on top of all that, the thing he hated the most was how you weren’t here now.

“Where’s Y/N!! Where is she!!” Binzo exclaimed to his physically and mentally exhausted aunt. She just stayed quiet, ignoring the child’s vicious words and actions. If she knew, she would have told him by now, but she didn’t.

Binzo looked around his dark messy room as he tried to think of what might have happened to you. It had been 2 nights since he last saw you.

If you had been moved to another room, he would be able to smell it. But you weren’t. You weren’t anywhere in the house in fact.

Could his father have decided that it was too much for him to support 2 cannibalistic children, and off’d you in the woods while he was sleeping? No way. He was the one who brought you here in the first place, he should have known what he was getting himself into.

Maybe you ran away, not wanting to be held captive and enslaved to work at a lunatic’s haunted house. That would explain why his father was also not around either. Maybe he had gone out in search of his most popular attraction.

No matter the reason, you weren’t here now, and Binzo hated you for that.

As the raven-haired boy finally started to calm down, he laid down in his cage, his eyes fluttered shut, unable to keep their focus on the door of his room anymore.

However, he was suddenly awoken by a loud scream.

It was his aunt. She had left the room, leaving him alone while he was asleep. Her voice was loud, but not angry. It sounded almost cheerful. An emotion he hadn’t heard from her in the longest time.

Binzo jumped to his feet as the door to his room slid open. There stood his father, alone from what he could see, cigar burning away in his mouth as he smiled. Binzo tightly gripped the bars of his cage, a feeling of rage boiled inside him like nothing he had ever felt before.

However, that emotion quickly washed away when he saw a familiar face appear from behind his father.

There you stood. Alive and in one piece.

Just like the first time you two had met, Souichi forced you into the room. Binzo’s eyes looked you up and down as you cautiously walked in. Gripping the hem of the older man's suit jacket, you stared back at the pale boy.

Your hair had been cut, shorter than before. You were also wearing a kimono similar to his aunt. You looked almost like a doll. It was weird how he couldn’t keep his eyes off you.

Binzo watched as his father put the chains around your ankles again, your hand running through his greasy hair. You two exchanged that look he couldn’t understand again.

Binzo barely listened as his father warned him not to fuck up your clothes. As Souichi finally left the room, Binzo put his hands on the lock of his cage and, using his nails, undid it.

Crawling out of the cage, he stood onto his feet and he looked at you. Although he was still only in his early teens, he was starting to grow extremely tall, a gene he inherited from his mother no doubt.

Binzo felt his heart start to race as you looked up at him, your eyes sparkled as they reflected the small amount of light that leaked in the room. It was almost like you were giving him the same look you and his father would often exchange.

Without a word, he forcefully shoved you to the ground. “Stop looking at me!” He exclaimed.

You probably thought he was jealous that his father actually let you go out, got you nice clothes, and even treated you like you were an actual human being. But that was far from the truth. He didn't really mean to push you so hard, but his emotions had gotten the better of him.

Binzo yelled out in pain as you kicked him for pushing you so hard. Just before you could kick him again, he moved to straddle you.

Putting his weight onto your stomach, he held your wrists on both sides of your head. You growled as he brought his face close to your neck and took a deep breath. It had been so long since he smelled your scent. However, this time it was different.

“You smell delicious.” He said in a hungry voice, drool dripping from his lips as he showed you his fanged teeth. You squirmed under him, knowing that he didn’t mean that as a compliment. “I thought my dad killed you. But now I see that he just dolled you up so I can do it myself. Kishishishi!” Twisting your head to the side, you dug your fangs into his arm.

“OW! You bitch!” Binzo screamed as he pulled his arm away from you. His long fingernails left a scratch across your face as he slapped you hard.  

Baring your fangs once more, you pushed him off of you and rushed to get away. However, your chains didn't let you get far.

Binzo grabbed your legs just before you could go any further. His nails dug into the thick fabric that made up your kimono, tearing it a bit as he pulled you closer to him. Flipping you onto your back, he put himself on top of you.

You squirmed in a panic as the boy wrapped his arms and legs around you, restraining you from getting away. Not having eaten anything in a while, you soon became unable to continue fighting with the monstrous boy.

Binzo’s heartbeat slowed down as you started to relax, his body unconsciously trying to mimic the pace at which you breathed. You whined as he tightened his grip on you a bit more, making sure that you wouldn’t try to slip away from him again.

Pressing his head into your hair, he breathed in the new scents that covered your body. The smell of the brand new kimono you wore mixed with the fruity shampoo you had used made him doubt that you were really the same creature he had shared a room with 2 nights ago.

“Where did you go…?” He asked, his words slightly muffled by your hair.

Your body tensed as he dug his nails deeper into the fabric of your clothes, trying to force a reply out of you, but ultimately receiving nothing back.

He hated that you wouldn’t talk to him…