#when you don't like either of the people involved

[magicisrealandsoismyally]

Okay, thought we were being like, chill, but I guess that's a kindness only afforded to people you consider to be women, so I'm gonna break this down piece by piece here, a lot to address.

"purposely obtuse or intellectually dishonest"

right off the bat the fact I disagree with you means I'm being intentionally wrong and evil. There's no room for me to be misguided, or making mistakes, or being uninformed, I'm either playing stupid or lying. Got it.

I "either hate AFABs, or don't take harm against them seriously". Once again, another false dichotomy. I take harm against women incredibly seriously, I just don't think the biggest threat to women is trans women. I think we have the same enemies, conservative men in power. I said you were fueled by fear because I was trying to be nice. It's not just fear. It's anger. Misdirected anger. You, and many others, have decided the easiest thing to do is hate.

Yeah. It is in fact transphobic to demand sex segregated spaces given that a true biological sex isn't fucking real. That's why it's "Assigned male at birth" or "Assigned female at birth". I've been assigned a lot of things throughout my life. So have you. Are you going to tell me those assignments were always accurate? I mean hell, with the amount of cis people out there, their accuracy rate is definitely above 50%. Still not accurate tho.

Transphobia is both the people trying to murder us, and the people, who don't want us in spaces that are away from the people trying to murder us. You are aware that the same cis men wanna kill us both right? You've arbitrarily drawn a line in the sand because you are grossly misunderstanding how trans people work. The number one piece of advice I see on this site from transfems, is how to avoid being SAed. By cis men, by cis women, by trans men. It's so common, that it makes me question if I even want to be in spaces with y'all. You wanna talk about fear? I'm fucking terrified. All the time. The instant I come out to the world, I get to spend the rest of my life, knowing that at any moment, someone says anything negative about me? and my life is over. Because people like you, will believe them. Because the scary transfem must be the person oppressing you. Because its easy, to villainize the minority. And it's easy to decide he's a monster. And all the while, she loses everything just for being an easy target.

You wanna talk physical safety? 83% of genderqueer victims of fatal violence are trans women. People love to kill us.

AMAB privilege is not real. I was not socialized male. I think you have a perspective on how the patriarchy functions that hasn't seen the other side of the fence, so let me go ahead and elaborate on that. Being a Man, is something you can fail out of in the patriarchy. It's a club that is nigh impossible to enter, but really fucking easy to fail out. Under the patriarchy, I am not a man. I failed out of that shit at the age of 8 when I said I didn't like sports. When I did anything "girlie" at all. When I cried. I was a crybaby (according to my family) and a faggot (according to the other kids at school). And from that moment, I was a target. Always have been. I wasn't socialized male, I was socialized as a failed man. Most trans girls are treated that way from a young age. I did not benefit from the patriarchy I was shoved around. I have gotten into an absurd amount of fights that I never started because some fucking asshole decided to beat the shit out of the fag. I spent like a week on tumblr before hearing other shared experiences about this kinda thing. Literally not hard to talk to trans women about this stuff if you, yk, try.

"We don’t need to check genitals I would have no problem with the manliest most masculine most passing trans man in an afab space because no matter what hormones or surgery are involved they cannot rape and impregnate me with their penis the same way an AMAB person could."

How do you know he's trans. How. Tell me right now how you tell the difference between a cis man and a trans man with bottom surgery. Do that without being transphobic, please. Find a way. I'm looking for something hilarious to read today, it's been a long one. Because if you don't have a way, your entire transmisogynistic utopia falls apart here. You can't tell if someone is trans. It's about identity. You cannot tell if someone has a penis. No matter what you do. You cannot tell someone's assigned gender at birth.

And how wonderful, you mentioned prisons, just read about this one. Did you know when transfems are imprisoned they get placed with the most violent cellmates? It's a tactic to reduce prison violence. Give the most violent people their own live in target. They get called prison wives. It's called V-Coding. So yeah, prisons are messed up. For both of us. If only we could talk about that and unite to fix that oh wait that's literally the whole point of having transfems in feminist spaces, crazy how that works.

"Also trans AMAB people commit sex crimes at an even higher rate than cis AMAB people"

WHERE IS THE FUCKING SOURCE. I am tired of TMEs and their constant stream of libel demonizing trans women. All of your nonsense statistics is so fucking stupid. Where are you getting these numbers? The sex offenders list? The one that as recently in the 80s included anyone who crossdressed or hit on a person of the same gender even if they were reciprocating? I literally have heard cis lesbians complain about that shit on this site, you're not even being a feminist by citing sex crimes, you're being a cop. Fucking being trans counted as being a sex criminal for most of American history. Drag queens, trans women, and crossdressers get accused of sex crimes all the fucking time, you have no critical thinking god fucking damn.

"which again did not START segregated they became that way because AMAB people could t be trusted not to rape/assault AFAB ones"

Yeah no lmao, (this next paragraph is going to be USAmerican centric because yk, that's what I learned about growing up) they kicked literally all queer people out when women got the right to vote, both lesbians and bi-women had to fight their way back into these spaces in the decades prior. I feel like we forgot about the Ellen Show or smth? Like feminists did not fucking go to bat for her after she came out. Groups will turn on their supporters the instant they decide they don't need them. Mainstream Feminism turned on people of color and queer people who put their own movements on hold to support the women's right to vote so fucking fast. It's American history too, all I had to do to learn this was have a pulse in my US history class.

Also “capitalism is real because it impacts me in a negative way but all other forms of oppression where I might be considered the privileged one in the dynamic is just hysterical people distracting from capitalism”

Girl, reading comprehension, try it out for size. I did not say these systems of oppression are not real. I'm saying demonization and fear of minorities (like, yk, trans women) is a tool of the existing power systems to make you hate us and not your actual enemy, the people in power (like, yk, rich people who are usually cis white conservative men). You keep bringing up how awful existing systems like prisons are but you just, do not analyze who fucking set those systems up. Private prisons are owned by the rich, not by the trans woman you're yelling at who is 4 bad days away from giving up and killing herself.

If trans AMAB people don’t want to be housed with cis ones, they can do the legwork and create those spaces for themselves like AFAB people did they do NOT have the right to commandeer our movement and literally erase our rights and protections because not allowing AMAB people into these vulnerable spaces might give them the big sad.

Okay so first you tell me feminist spaces weren't originally segregated by sex, and now you tell me it's an AFAB only movement? Because I know for a fact trans people have always been at bat for feminism. American white women said the same shit to women of color between 1920-1965. Cause the instant we become expendable, y'all throw us aside.

commandeer our movement

Really? Do you genuinely think trans women could ever outnumber cis women? What cartoon candyville are you from where there are more trans women than cis women? How the fuck are we going to commandeer the movement? We're like, 0.3% of the population at most. What are you talking about.

YEAH MY GUY IM FORCED TO LIVE LIKE A FUCKING PREY ANIMAL!!!

Okay so for starters, transwomen are also in constant fear. We have literally been hunted, this is just, like, a historical thing. Second, I'm not a guy. Don't call me that. You cannot honestly tell me you're not transphobic and then proceed to use exclusively masc terms to refer to me. That's just wild. Playing along with the tranny does not make you not a trans ally. You're still a transphobe just cause you're fine with trans men.

Some fear is completely rational

Yeah. We're both completely justified in our fear. I do not build my politics off my fear. You do. That's the difference. No matter how terrified I am of TMEs, I still fight for y'all. Always have, always will.

Gender is literally fake and varies from culture to culture. Sex based oppression is real and fucks over the lives of AFAB people worldwide.

Ohh, damn, so close, you'll get it next time I'm sure. See the trick is BOTH OF SEX AND GENDER ARE FAKE. Genderqueer people just admit that it's about self expression. You literally just described how fallible sex assignment is by talking about intersex people, it's like, hella cultural. Sex based oppression is real. So is Gender based oppression. Because people are shitty about fake shit, all the time, we're on tumblr, the "death threats over shipping" website.

You cannot tell me you think you're not transphobic and then claim gender oppression isn't real. I feel bad for any trans people who have the misfortune to interact with you. I hope one day you realize you fought on the wrong side of history. And if not? I hope they speak of you in the same breath as the grown adults trying to stop Ruby Bridges from attending school, in the same breath as the cops at Stonewall. You have an excellent day. I probably won't, but what's new. I'm sorry you're so afraid. I'm sorry you fell for it when they told you who to be afraid of. I'm sorry I couldn't do more. If anyone wants sources on this stuff, i'll add links to posts getting into it, a lot of it's screenshots and i'm not about to make this any longer than it is. There's more ofc, but I can only cite what links I have on hand, y'all can do your own research, read like, any transfem blog while they still exist. https://www.tumblr.com/honeylemony/767694258735136768?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/marxism-transgenderism/767536279224270848/okay-ive-said-before-that-part-of-why https://www.tumblr.com/girldogmystic/766813723287502848/i-wanna-get-more-specific-with-this-according-to

"OP is a terf" is a thought-terminating cliche meant to keep you from questioning the status quo and keep you afraid of being labeled a heretic should you come to your own conclusions about anything.

[drdemonprince]

I keep seeing the posts about male socialization and idk it makes me feel weird because I identify as transfem and I *do* believe I had male socialization. I find it easier to identify with and understand male groups and to feel involved in the while I feel less at ease understanding how women feel and think even though my personal view of myself leans more towards a feminine identity. All these posts make me doubt that I am truly "transfem" and that even if I am, that I am fundamentally transfem in a different way than most other transfems I run into. Is there any sources or writing out there that either provides a counter-perspective or at the very least points to nuance on this subject from a transfem lens? I wish I didn't feel so alone with these feelings.

Your feelings and experience do not make you any less legitimate as a transfeminine person. A lot of trans women rightfully and understandably need to counteract the notion that they're oppressive privileged males or whatever by asserting, as clearly as they can, the many ways in which their socialization was a female socialization, with all the double-standards, demanded emotional labor, sexual predation, etc that entails -- but the very need to assert these things is due to the culture's twisted misconceptions about what gender even is and how it operates.

It's not as though a young person only gets the socialization of the binary gender to which they were assigned -- they get mandatory cishet socialization, and they see what is expected of the "other" gender, and that impacts them, and the standards for that other gender also influence how they are interpreted and seen.

And so I do think, to a certain extent, that when trans people assert that we actually didn't get socialized as our assigned gender at birth, we got socialized as the correct gender, actually, we are unfortunately ceding ground to the transphobes on a couple of key points. One, we're conceeding that there is a singular binary socialization that the two genders each get, which are separate from one another and always exhibit specific features, and two, that a person's socialization as a young person is a key determinant of their gendered experience, privilege, and identity forever, no matter what happens after they are young.

And you know, both those things are totally wrong. There is no one female socialization. I've written about this before, but I wasn't raised to be feminine. I was raised the way working-class girls are raised, which is to be no-nonsense, unfrivolous, serious, sporty, and capable -- a wife and mother, but the kind that never wears a skirt or cries in front of people. And there is no singular "male" socialization either -- I cite a few trans femme people in this piece who experienced themselves as having some male privilege before they transitioned, and some more typically "male" experiences, while also quoting a number of trans women whose lives went the exact opposite way. I assert in the piece that their experiences are theirs to name, and that there's a number of different ways we might each understand and categorize them personally -- especially when we take into account how much gendered socialization is dependent upon class, race, immigration status, diasporic status, and much more.

My view is that however you think your live played out, and whoever you find community alongside, you're right. I'm about to answer a similar ask about this from a trans masc perspective, but I'm a guy who has a ton of women friends and always have. I grew up mostly with girls as my closest buddies and we did things like playing pretend and having slumber parties and doing makeovers. I could chalk this up as a "female socialization" experience I guess if I wanted to. But I also grew up with a lot of gay boys, and I am a gay man, and guess what -- a lot of us grow up with predominately female friends. I don't think I have some essential feminine quality because my friends kept insisting on putting eyeshadow on me when I was ten. The fact I was bad at sports and couldn't be the tough, no-nonsense person that my culture expected me to be was gonna affect me whether I was a boy or a girl. And my upbringing was significantly different from that of one of my very best, oldest friends, whose family owned a successful business and were able to buy her a car and a horse and shit.

You're not betraying anything or lessening your own transfemininity by resonating with some typically "male" experiences or for having close male connections. Lots of queer women do! Just like I have plenty in common with lots of women! We don't say that cis women aren't women because they grew up tomboys, or had a ton of brothers, and the same is true of you. Even if you don't think of your younger self as "a tomboy" or even as a girl. You don't have to ascribe to the narrative that you were always one gender and always moved through the world with that identity. To demand that all trans people do so is respectability politics -- we cannot and should not require that all people be trans in the same ways. I have written before that transition to me feels at once both pre-ordained AND a choice that I made. You can say that you lived as a boy for some years or were a boy if that feels right to you, or that you had certain privileges while also suffering from dysphoria and disconnection; it's your life and you know it best and what serves you.

I wish I had narratives from trans women writers to direct you to, but for the most part the trans women who I've heard express feelings like yours have been in the support and discussion groups I've been in, and in private conversation -- I think because the socialization experiences of trans femmes are so unfairly politicized. I hope if any trans femme people see this have anything to share or any words to say that they will!

[fayfaygoes]

"Omg I can't wait for Caleb , can't wait for Childhood friend to lover troupe"

I can't stress this enough.

Guys

GUYS

Caleb is not Just a "childhood friend" troupe HE IS GEGE .

It might sounds off putting but many part of Asia we refer to acquaintance or neighbors child slight older than us "Brother"/"Sister" ,call their parents uncle and Auntie's . And it will stay that way maybe later in Life.

But that doesn't mean they are off the partner list when you grow older .

Alot of my girls I know dating guys they used to call "Vaiya" / "Dada" which means Brother ,they still slip that off sometimes.

We all know the Korean word Oppa , it's used AGEYO too . It's so much used in koreaboo section that some people finds the word outright intolerable and Cringe .

But Oppa literally means Older brother and used to refer guys/classmates Older . Yeah you can call your Boyfriend Oppa it's not abnormal regardless of how you feel about it .

Another point-

You know how You set your nickname in game like honey girlfriend etc.

Well there's one nickname you can set in English.

It's "Darling"

But yk what I noticed all the time when I write that name down and have JP voiceover on.

They don't go "Da~rin~" like how you your expect darling to sound in JP accent.

Yk what they say

"NEe - SAN"

and you know what that translates too?

OLDER SISTER .

So yeah you are making them Call you NEE SAN .

But obviously English can't localize it literally so they are writing "Darling" ( I don't have knowledge about the CN part please lmk if yk)

So yeah it may sound Icky to you but there's chances are I would end up with a guy in my work area that I perhaps called Big brother in my language in past ,and there isn't something weird about it. And it shouldn't be made into weird stuff either . It comes quite naturally ,it's not Sweet home albama it's cultural difference.

I am referred to as an older sister by many young men out of respect but it stops there . My real siblings are the ones by blood .

And for Caleb you guys have to accept that and if you do ,Stop hating on him purely for this fact .

En localization team likely knew this is hard to accept and out of comfort zone

that's why they changed to "he is childhood friend" but in voiceover she calls him Gege

GEGE

Voiceover doesn't change that ,and they don't have to because it's understandable when u are used to that happening .

Despite all those connections and links. The Dr. Zayne meeting the MC in childhood and that plays a role .

He FALLS in childhood friend to lover troupe in the literal sense .Not Caleb ,he has a different connection to her in dynamic,that involves treating each other in sibling ways .

Not everyone you call "older brother" / "older sister" you end up pinning for ,that's not what happens. But if you do as two consenting adults there's Nothing wrong WITH it .

So If it was a normal character MC was acquainted with ,then how you view her calling him Gege is Up to your interpretation,it can be anything.

But since it's an OTOME and he is most definitely gonna come back .

So yeah this time You are romancing that GEGE FOR SURREEEE

You guys aren't staying behind that title where you both will continue maintaining safe distance and took them out of the chart as if they are off limit. You are FCKING.

You can accept that , it's one of those cultural compromises

You can enjoy the En localized part if you want but actual intended interpretation should NOT make you retaliate and be defensive stating how Caleb is not that he is childhood friend troupe yada yada yada.

I saw some say Caleb is the actual Childhood friend to lovers troupe because zayne doesn't do the troupe correctly 😶

Each of the lads LIs have Uniqueness in more than one area to the point they don't stand in the same category . Zayne & Caleb is not the same category LIs either and it's not purely for sole fact "oh Caleb is different than zayne, different personalities etc" there is more difference ,troupe has DIFFERENT TITLES.

She has known him as Gege for so long y'all aren't ready for the angst of possible romance coming in between ,the self guilt ,the self restriction ... EVERYTHING.

[sunderwight]

Thinking some more about why Old Man Viktor would want hextech to be invented, or to specifically be invented by Jayce, such that his meddling involves giving Jayce the rune that he uses to kickstart his innovations, when a simpler way to prevent catastrophe in any given timeline would but to just... not invent hextech at all?

And I've got another theory!

I think Old Man Viktor is actually looking for a way to unfuck his own timeline.

If it was just about saving others, that doesn't seem like it would be all that complicated, and, unless he's failed every prior time (possible) it should probably have a set routine by now. Also, why would there need to be so many attempts? Is he doing this for every single timeline, or is he deliberately creating new timelines and experimenting with the results?

I think it's the latter, given that we see him provide young Jayce with different runes, and that he's presumably used different methods of persuasion and involved other different factors in the process. Again, it's possible -- given Ekko and the reversal rune -- that this is the first time it's worked at all, but I think that Viktor's comment that in all timelines, only Jayce can show him the futility of his actions would in fact imply otherwise. There have been other timelines where Jayce has successfully compelled Viktor out of his plan, or else I think Old Man Viktor would have phrased it more like "only you might show me this in some version of events" rather than "in all timelines, only you can show me this".

So, probably, there have been other timelines where the world is saved by Jayce's intervention.

Which is great, and Old Man Viktor takes it as a win, but I think why he keeps on doing it and what he's ultimately after is the right formula for a means to sort of unbake his cake, if you will. Old Man Viktor's own timeline has already been doomed. He's the only one left, trapped in his "perfect" outcome that has become a prison of (in his own words) dreamless solitude. He can't escape what he's done and he can't rest, and outside of his scant interactions with the Jayces of other timelines, he's alone. His Jayce is gone, everyone is gone. Like the ingredients baked into a cake, the people that he bound together into his ascension cannot be alchemized back into the individuals that they once were.

Or can they?

After all, this is magic we're dealing with. Magic, technology, and the same genius that created the problems in the first place. If there's a way to undo it, who else could figure it out? I think the main cast of the show comprises the people who might and the people who are most likely to influence and inspire them -- Jayce and Viktor, who started the problem. Mel, an incredibly powerful mage. Singed, who taught Viktor and helped engineer his transcendence. Jinx and Ekko, two of the only other people in either city to actually figure out hextech on their own. Heimderdinger, Jayce's teacher. Even Ambessa brings along the Black Rose, who might feasibly contribute something to the undoing of Viktor's calamity.

Viktor is very stubborn, and he doesn't abandon his causes easily. I think that once he realized the folly of what he'd done, and accepted the reality that he had destroyed the world instead of saving it, his next course of action would be to either finally die or else fix it. If he can't die (probable) then that just leaves fixing it. Fixing it for other timelines is great, but ultimately, knowing Viktor and what he's like, I don't think he would be satisfied with that. He'd accept it as a consolation prize and ultimately if that's his limit, he'll find out one day. But if he has infinite space time to play around in, why not aim big? Why not try for the ideal outcome?

So that's what I think he is really waiting for. A lead into the method to truly undo what he did, and restore everyone to themselves. Not just in other timelines but in his own too.

[the-technorats]

ok ive been wanting to post abt this for a while. i think a part of the reason that i started to grow away from the 1d fandom recently (and more into 5sos, actually, which will be relevant later) is for these exact realizations. it became pretty clear, during the band's lifetime but mostly once the band went on hiatus, explicitly and implicitly, that being in one direction was extremely unhealthy for the talent involved.

and so not only did it become a kind of moral dilemma, bc how do you support and love something that you know is abusive, but it ruined the mirage of the essence of the band, which was, as louis put it, about having fun and being normal guys but terrible, terrible dancers, because you knew that under the surface of their silly, goofy live shows they were probably not having that much fun all the time and were definitely at points in either physical or mental anguish or both at once.

it feels so disillusioning because their primary appeal to their fanbase wasn't that they were like, hot or whatever (though they were and that was definitely part of it (but also their fanbase was so fucking queer that that metric could only do so much)), but it was that they were friends. the explicit marketing was sex appeal, sure, but the implicit marketing was community.

we wanted to think they were having as much fun as we were, that they loved being in the band with each other as much as we loved them. and once they broke up ("went on hiatus") and people started realizing they weren't quite as good of friends as we all thought they were, that they were coworkers, that they don't even have each other's phone numbers, that's when it didn't feel as good.

which is interesting. we all wanted so badly to be convinced that what we all knew was happening wasn't.

i think we desperately want that. as 1d put it: to be loved and to be in love. and we want to think that friendship and community and love can withstand anything, no matter how abusive and oppressive. because we want the hope that in our own abusive and oppressive life, our community can carry us through it. we're like, fantasizing about unionization and collectivization in a way that feels safe. and no one wants to hear this, but this IS a weapon of which we (and your faves) are victims.

like, god, if the success of capitalism isn't that it makes you think you want it. people want community? people are realizing that collective action is what overturns oppressive systems? give them this. this band of boys from working class backgrounds who love each other and made it to superstardom through nothing but the power friendship and love and art. give them that experience through an artificial projection of community that only ever makes you complicit in the commodification of yourself and your artists. the strongest sedative is the one you already want to take.

and if that isn't the reason 1d were doomed to fail. because they were created by the exact power that people want to push back against. you can't eat your young and have them too.

if being in one direction was all sunshine and rainbows, the boys would have come back after that hiatus and zayn would have never left.

behind closed doors, those boys were suffering.

it kills me that i never saw that because all i saw was that they made me happy and surely they were happy too.

that couldn't have been farther from the truth.

this is killing me

[ellouchi]

Jimmy dating headcannons (sfw/gn reader)

Disclaimer: this work contains unhealthy interpersonal practices and elements of abuse.

Side note: this was going to be LONGER and include nsfw but I've decided it's better to divide everything into parts. Finally getting this out because there is a critical shortage of Jimmy x reader works (cries and picks up a pen). Let me know if I missed something or made a mistake.

Enjoy!

— ok starting with the fluff: Jimmy feels too embarrassed to properly hold your hand, like some small shy boy. He will make it seem like you've the one who acts childish of course, holds your hand if you plead enough and only for a minute in public, for a bit more when in private. You can be lucky enough to tag after him holding his sleeve if he feels like it. Jimmy secretly loves to hold your wrist, especially in a tight grip, feeling your pulse beating under your skin (he is like a handcuff).

— Jimmy doesn't say "I love you", not in a usual sense. Instead it's always alternatives like common "You make me feel all warm and stupid inside" and the most rare "You mean a lot to me" spoken in a quiet sincere tone. Unfortunately "I love you"s are reserved for manipulation. He knows it gets people very compliant or/and defenseless. It doesn't do any harm anyway because he's merely speaking the truth. It's actually a litmus test if you love him or not, so be very careful with your words during those moments.

— primarily uses your name or alias you go with instead of pet names. Sometimes, Jimmy would use baby, babe, sweet cheeks (bear with me); dear, darling and love when he's pissed off or he tries to be condescending.

— Jimmy has a preconceived notion that your parents/family wouldn't like him, he has enough self awareness for that. Because of this, he'll try to make it seem like he's better than he is, so you better play along. If your family hates his guts, Jim doubles down, resulting in both parties wagging a war. Doesn't give a fuck about them at all after that disastrous first meeting. However, if somehow you family did take a liking to Jimmy, he's glad....but also puzzled. I think Jim has had shitty childhood, so when he is treated like a proper family member, he's lost. He doesn't want to see your family often because of his complicated feelings, but makes exceptions for the special occasions.

— Jimmy knows and remembers things about you to the points it's both scary and impressive: likes and dislikes, fears, dreams, ambitions etc. On the more positive side, this includes songs, books, movies, comics and anything like that — even if he doesn't like it, he has an understanding of what it is. If you call him out, Jimmy either says he doesn't care (he does, so much actually) or says "Of course I do, you can't shut up about [thing]" (lies).

— Jimmy doesn't have a lot of free time on his hands. If both of you are free, that means you are spending this time with him. No, your plans won't matter if they exclude Jim out of the picture. This involves discouraging you or outright sabotaging you. As per usual, he wouldn't find anything wrong with this kind of behaviour. You should just stop being unreasonable and spend some time with your lover. Look, he even went out of his way to find a movie you two would enjoy watching.

— birthdays with Jimmy are weird (if you could tell from the game). If you look forward to them, so does he; if you don't, well he congratulates you when the day comes and that's about it. It's much worse when the gifts are involved, because Jimmy will actually try to get what you want, and the more expensive it is, the more positive reaction he expects from you. He saved up throughout the year, denied himself pleasures and worked his ass off — if you don't shower him with appreciation and gratitude, he will make a scene about how selfish you are. On your own birthday.

— Jimmy keeps your gifts and trinkets in his drawer (if they small enough). He has some photos of you together, small souvenirs from trips, cute notes you left him — you name it. This habit will get creepy: the things having a lot of sentimental value to you, your trash like discarded perfume bottle and cream tubs, even your underwear. He wouldn't care if you made fun of him, but god forbid you misplace or throw away anything from that drawer.

— Jimmy loves when you rely on him. However, to a degree because this man quickly gets tired of running errands. If he offers to do something it's safe to agree, asking too much will get him worked up so don't overdo. With that said, Jimmy always does small things, like making your preferred beverage during the day, calling to remind you something, doing small chores unprompted, basically covering your bases. It's hard to feel unloved when you are remembered and cared for in that way. Also gives him an ammo for fights in case you forget how much Jimmy does for you.

— Jimmy insists on driving you everywhere (so people would know that you belong to him). Also it means Jim has lots of good punishments at his disposal when you two fight: lock the car from the inside? Leave you somewhere you don't know? Or just not pick you up altogether? Better leave all the arguments for later or don't bring them up at all...

— you are one of few people to see Jimmy's playful side: he just loves to joke around you. He wouldn't like it, but your sense of humour would rub off him greatly. If that wasn't enough this man loves to prank you in small ways: it's childish stuff most of times, like hiding or misplacing an item in your house and playing innocent. Other than that, Jimmy will whistle and catcall you when he sees you and will slap your ass in public when you leave. You are encouraged to prank him in return too, but you will be pranked harder next time. Grins, snickers and snorts a lot but laughs very, very rarely. However, it's one of the most healing things you could experience. Literally restores years to your lifespan.

— Jimmy doesn't like seeing you upset actually. He's not super soft or doting, he will pry the reason for your distress out of you whether you like it or not. If he deems it's unimportant, will tell you to suck it up, maybe even make a sarcastic remark. If it's serious business, he involves himself. Of course half the time it makes your situation worse and him angrier at himself which translates to Jim being angry at you.

— when Jimmy is upset, it's best to wait it out. I headcannon Jimmy used to have terrible anger issues but with years managed to control them to a degree. It doesn't mean he wouldn't lash out on you, his partner, it does get ugly. Him hugging you for comfort is actually more frequent than you would expect. As long as you don't address his tears or say much, Jimmy would calm down with little to no issue. Don't bring it up later too, he won't respond and will pretend it never happened.

— finishing with the reminder that you will be carrying Jimmy's emotional baggage as well as your own if you have any. I hope you have strong and healthy arms and back for that. If you're not careful enough or *cough cough* stay ignorant of Jim's bad influence on you, he will bring you to his level and mold you into who he wants you to be. But it doesn't work one way: in theory, you could "fix" some of his unsavoury outlooks but don't expect too much. After years of blood, sweat and tears it's possible to finally convince him to go to therapist. Praying he would continue on his own wouldn't be enough and you would need to actively encourage Jim to not give up on his mental health treatment. Way to go!

[watchingsunrises]

Ziam is real, climb on board

For the first time, we’re experiencing a genuine influx of people looking into Ziam, the real relationship between Zayn and Liam. And honestly it’s about time. It’s always been so beautiful and devoted and consistent and visible to those willing to invest and find out for themselves. It’s also been so unseen and dismissed and a bit buried by Larry too. I’m a Larry too, but right now I’m all about Ziam. I’m really happy Ziam is getting there deserved time seeing some light.

I’m not here to convince anyone. Ziam isn’t new, it has been around and discussed and real since 2012 when we believe their relationship started extending beyond friendship. There is an existing treasure trove that can be sought out by people willing to open their mind and examine it, especially from Zayn and Liam themselves. Right from the start and up until present day. 

The truth is we are experiencing a moment we weren’t expecting. First with Liam’s death. Now with Zayn touring for the first time ever as a solo artist. 

People are interested in Liam and that is a normal reaction. People are noticing a lot of things that don’t make sense and are curious and questioning that. People can’t make sense about his relationship with his “girlfriend”, the public PR performance at his funeral of a select group of celebrities (all aligned with Modest, Simon Jones PR or existing narratives regarding the boys) and of course the narrative around his “son” Bear.

Usually when things don’t make sense, there is a good reason, we know this with Larry too, and so in the same way people should look and critically engage. Gaps can’t always be filled when we are dealing with public media narratives that then clearly don’t align with who a person really is consistently as a human. It's pretty hard work for all involved to contain a decades plus closet, in times like this. That is a big part of what people are noticing with Liam. They should question public narratives and media. Liam wanted to be seen and heard for who he really was, and celebrating and talking about Ziam right now is one of the biggest parts of seeing and knowing Liam. Its not disrespectful if you've done the work to see and know, just like with Larry.

Now we also finally have Zayn touring for the first time ever as a solo artist. Seeing him on stage after a 10 year wait is kind of exhilarating and like any of the boys you get a reminder on stage of who the person really is, really leaning in and hearing the lyrics live and seeing his being. Zayn is very definitely coding to us in a way that he hasn’t been able to do so before. He knew we would be looking and he wants to be seen. He is literally telling us that he is honest and truthful in his music. Zayn’s public narrative has never made sense either, it's all the same closeting stuff. Copy of a copy of a copy.

The narrative set up for Room Under the Stairs was actually quite strange, and in reality it translates very poorly to the lyrics and the emotions. So many gaps and things that don't make sense. In the future I will share some analysis on RUTS. I’ve been immersed in the album non-stop since May. The album to me is mostly about his closet - the pain it has caused him, the effect it has had on his relationship, the pain and effect it has had on his long term partner, the ways in which he has had to reframe his mindset to live within the reality of his closet, the ways he has changed his lifestyle to focus on the simple things in life to help his mental health impacted by his closet (and other things). Yet throughout all that heartbreaking pain, he still talks about his person, his lover, he refers to 'they' in many key lyrics, he brings his partner into the lyrics clearly, lyrics that clearly refer back to past and present times. Its the same person, it always has been in Zayn's lyrics. He tells them and us that he wouldn’t change anything despite all that pain, that their love has been worth it, that he is devoted, that their love was like stardust from the start until forever. The most specific songs relating to his person haven't been included on the tour setlist - How it Feels, The Time, False Starts, Something in the Water and of course Stardust. They are the strongest songs on the album, the ones that have made me cry non-stop for the last 6 months. I suspect he rearranged the setlist, they would have been too hard to sing live. Instead we see a few B sides we wouldn't have expected on tour. I hope more people will listen to RUTS, it's absolutely devastating, empowering and life affirming and you can really see and feel who Zayn is.

Enjoy your Ziam journey if you decide to take it.

[theology101]

Fallout 4 Enhanced, part 2 - minor factions

People seemed to like part 1 so I'm going in for round two! Last time, we discussed the main endings for the Commonwealth with the primary factions but we all know that there is more to the Commonwealth than that. We're talking small fry this time. Let's go with the new kids on the block

Gunners

In the base game, Gunners are just higher-level, better-armed Raiders. They're a well organized 'Mercanary' group with multiple outposts connected via Radio at Gunner's Plaza. They seem to be either new immigrants to the Commonwealth or (if the Vault 75 theory is true) have only just emerged. Personally, I think they're moving in from the South - most of their territory is located in the south of the Commonwealth, baring a few outposts further north that are well fortified.

They're plot irrelevant save for one thing: they're responsible for the Quincy Massacre, polishing off the Minutemen, and sending Preston Garvey running North. That is it. There is no major quests for them, no one comments if you wipe them out - you don't even know who their clients are. Okay, that's not true - the Diamond City robot chef hired them to steal a Deathclaw egg and Old Man Stockton (and thus the Railroad by consequence) protects his caravans. Every other client is a mystery. A common theory is the Institute but they would have to recognize that Stockton's activities, especially because his use to the Railroad is through his trade network.

So we have a group of highly militant if disorganized gang of private soldiers who have beef with the Minutemen and aren't scared of the Commonwealth's boogieman.

I think they should've been joinable or at the very least interactable. If I approach one of their bases, they should tell me to back off and leave, threaten me, etc. Just opening fire on every random person is what makes them just raiders. Should they suddenly be friendly? Absolutely not, despite their relationship with Stockton (and how I want the Railroad to be more focussed on slavery in general) the Gunners are canonically slavers so if a Gunner patrol comes across you in a random encounter, have them open dialogue to try and kidnap Sole, or have Minutemen quests to rescue kidnapped settlers

I also don't think they should have a single "Boss". Maybe a client who is specifically targeting the Minutemen for some fucking reason (Maybe it's a Drug Kingpin out of Goodneighbor, or some rich raider boss - or maybe they did it on their own volition because the Minutemen made it harder to do their job) but I think for every single operation they have in the game (Which is when they're specifically doing something, like being in Mass Fusion, Hallucigen or Greentech, and not holding territory) there should be a client that we can find in the game, and they should have a reason to do it.

The Gunners can also fulfill something that Fallout 4 desperately needed: an act 4. Now that X has claimed the Commonwealth, the Gunners being dealt with are probably high up on their list of actually establishing control. In part 1, I talked about how the Battle of Quincy should be this big epic battle involving multiple major factions as Quincy is taken back once and for all, freeing the captured townspeople and taking back the commonwealth - the Gunners are kinda just Bad Guys to Kill. But you know what? Great. Give them more men, more machine guns, etc. After that, taking Gunner Plaza should have had a major impact on the Commonwealth - the Gunners could no longer communicate between groups, the Minutemen Radio had further range than ever before, and their leadership was decapitated. This should send them scrambling - maybe even warranting a force from outside the commonwealth coming in to relieve their comrades. I think the Gunner-Minuteman war would've been dope

Children of Atom

The Children of Atom are Great. I love them. They're silly, cool, and low-key, right? Like, Eldritch Entitities exist in Fallout and they are typically related to radiation. This is just canon, there are beings beyond our comprehension who exist outside of our Reality.

But that's not important - why are they all so angry?

When I rock up to Kingsport Lighthouse, I want to talk to them and say "Hey, I support your religion, but can I make a settlement here?" and then BOOM! Unlocked Children Of Atom Settlement Items. Simple as, they're just a religion, I can allow them in my settlements - just stay away from the water, okay? Some of the radiant quests should just be going to your settlements and figuring out a solution between the Children of Atom and your settlers / Brotherhood / Institute. This goes double if you are a full member up in Far Harbor (which, legit I will not touch it cause it's great) as you spread your religion across the Commonwealth. Or at the very least, you tolerate them and control them

It's wild to me that they're hostile on-site. If I rock up to the Crater House to get baptized, they should let me be baptized! It's weird that they're just on-site for NO REASON! I want to see Children of Atom in every major city (they know the most about energy so they run the power grid, we just have to put up with the preaching) and follow every major caravan (they can help with a lot of radiation diseases on the road) to make the Church of Atom something that you might actually look at and go "Oh hey yeah that seems like a good idea."

Interestingly, I think they could be an ally for the Railroad of all people. If they give a Synth the identity of a Children of Atom Follower, they can live fine (some are immune to radiation, some aren't, it depends) in the Glowing Sea.

I could also see the Children of Atom and the Brotherhood of Steel having an Adeptus Mechanicus-Adeptus Astartes kind of relationship. Like, they view the Brotherhood as Atom's Fury taking and holding Atom's holy relics from Abominations. Oh, and by the way - the Children of Atom Cult almost took over the Commonwealth the winter before we woke up. Maybe some people should bring that up, especially because a peaceful variant of the faith won out in the end.

Raider Gangs

This pisses me off so much, cause Bethesda did the work to give each of the raider bosses personal beef and relationships with each other and have fairly consistent borders/areas of control that they work with - and then didn't do anything with them. There are six major factions of Raiders. I'm just going to briefly describe them, their attitudes and what I would change

Tourette Gang - They occupy the Federal Ration Reserve, so they should be incredibly well-armed, well-armored, and well-fed. The group is kept small and they focus on longe range weapons to make sure no one they dislike can get too close. Hate Tower Tom's gang, should wear surplus military or police gear. Near no major trade lines, but also don't need to be.

Beantown Boys - Tower Tom's group, they are sitting near no major trade or supply lines, and the only reason they're alive is that they can sell bear to Triggermen, other Raiders and also hold Red Tourette's Sister hostage (actually dead) so Red keeps sending them food. Sent people all the way out to BADFTL and they can see the writing on the walls and that a gang led by drunks is not going to thrive. Because they're so drunk, they focus more on melee weapons or things where they don't need to aim all too much like shotguns or machine guns

Boston Bandits - Led by Bosco, these Raiders should be the most 'classic' raiders. Controlling the majority of Boston and a chunk of Cambridge, his gang shouldn't have a particular focus, just to sell home that they're generic. Wide range of loot from the better equiped and skilled to the randos who just joined up. They should also have a BUNCH of traps to defend themselves from the ‘Beast’

Libertalia - this gang is different, led by a former Minuteman and his company, these guys should still have their laser muskets, Minuteman outfits, etc. For a group in the 'slow decline from guardians into raiders' they seem to have adopted the tattoos and grisly displays pretty damn fast. These Raiders should seem a lot more well maintained, more hygienic - probably a lot less chems too.

The Forged - The Forged are actually great, wish I could've seen em more though.

Judge Zeller - He tortures people into working for him until they're insane and fanatics. That to me sounds like either they sprint in with knives like crazy people or just insane spray-and-pray types. Lets give them automatic weapons and grenades to see what happens

I doubt the Engine could've handled it, but it would've been cool seeing these factions fighting over Raider camps and stuff after we clear it out, see how the territory changes through our actions and the various gangs. Giving them a unique feel on top of gang war violence is just fun.

Special mention to the Triggermen who really seemed like they would be important, but just weren't. I want them to act as the unofficial middleman between Raiders and Goodneighbor - Goodnighbor as a respectable trading town would never sell to violent evil raiders.... but they sell to the Triggermen and they don't have such compunctions. I'd also like to see a few of them lurking around Diamond City, giving the city a bit of crime or occasionally showing up in your settlements as black market salesmen

Caravan Collective

This is a new faction, but I could also call it Bunker Hill Plus. There are several traders and they’re all based out of Bunker Hill but in spite of that, there is no organization. No collective trade power. Nothing like Crimson Caravan or the Mojave Express. I think that the Caravan Collective should be a sorta rump state to the Commonwealth Provisional Government - while the actual government collapsed, the organized trade network and regulations that they made has survived the massacre

They shouldn’t have the big of an effect on the story - maybe a quest were you help Old Man Stockton root out Institute Spies - but negotiating them to go to your settlements instead of them just appearing one day. Similarly, the traders should pop up in Goodneighbor or Diamond City instead of just settlements and Bunker Hill. With the deal Bunker Hill has with the Raiders, they can travel pretty much unimpeded. This faction won’t be claiming the commonwealth, but they should have a presence and a decent size of Caravan security - if you don’t mess with them, they won’t mess with you

Super Mutants

These guys are unique amongst Super Mutants as they have no methods to reproduce themselves. Out west, there are a number of FEV vaults out there making more, though it’s rare - and in DC they have a whole Vault to make more, while the Appalachian guys have a few sources.

All Super Mutants in the Commonwealth come from the Institute’s experiments. And by “Experiments” i mean Shaun intentionally destabilizing the region, Virgil himself says they aren’t accomplishing anything. Super Mutants are just made from random kidnapped people, a Synth replaces them and the mutant is set to rampage. And I think that these mutants should be aware of that fact.

All Super Mutants are communalist and love each other as ‘Brothers’ - basically Warhammer Orks - but these brothers no that they are a limitted supply. I don’t think these super mutants should be any smarter then their cousins, but perhaps more cautious? They can’t just make more, every Super Mutant is a rare resource. Suicide Super Mutants; while cool, don’t fit this model but every society needs its Lunatics

I even think you should be able to make a deal with them if you’re the Institute - promise them to keep filling up their numbers, and in exchange get an army of green shocktroops. The Institute doesnt care if the Greenskins rampage about - if anything, the Institute is already the Super Mutant’s greatest ally

Up Next - Companions and/or Settlements

[om-chats]

(forget for a moment that i abandoned this account because i got lazy but came back for this big announcement)

While I was expecting for the original game to eventually perish to the ground due to Solmare abandoning it and making the decision to branch it off with another brand new app, Obey Me! Nightbringer, which that in itself is a huge outrage the moment it was announced because it only benefited Solmare and not its consumers also. I kindaaa wasn't expecting their still brand new game to also meet the same fate in a year and a half.

I know that this isn't exactly the end yet for the OM! series because of their mentions of 'new forms of content' coming soon. But you know what? Just like how when you know when it's time to stop, I'm content that it's now ending.

Other people who are still playing OM! won't share the same feeling considering that I dropped it months ago, so I'm not feeling the same attachment others are feeling right now. But one thing that I WILL shed tears over is the story and the characters potential.

I'll keep it short but both SWD and NB had something in common, their beginnings of their story had potential to build up to something grand that'll keep you both invested in the plot and interested in the characters, but as it progressed it 'kinda' lost its shine. Sorry but it started to feel like an anime that published a few filler episodes. The same goes for events and cards—even when it had its moments���the quantity was big and the quality was still little. I did like Simeon's card where it was an AU where he was a broken puppet/doll though.

And I WILL turn this around and make it all about Barbatos and Nightbringer.

I like Nightbringer. I like Nightbringer. I like Barbatos. I like Barbatos. Did I already mention I like Nightbringer and Barbatos? Which is why I was absolutely DEVASTATED at their lack of involvement in anything further down the lessons. It was like jingling shiny toys in front of a baby and then hiding it never to be seen again. I like mysterious characters but I didn't mean being a mystery to character impact.

I dropped OM! so I don't have any impressions of how the story is progressing now but I know well enough those 5 lessons left until Lesson 60 won't cover those two bastards or even WHY Nightbringer sent MC into the past and instead just show MC with the main cast being all lovey-dovey, give a good-bye kiss, and then bye-bye! End scene. Cut.

Either they atleast show Barbatos being creepy and acknowledging that he knows MC went somewhere they shouldn't have, or show Nightbringer having a 'lovely' chat with MC and explaining what and why he did those things at the beginning of the lesson. Even if they were to give an explanation there's still alot of things OM! needs to unpack that 5 lessons probably won't cut it.

TLDR: Let it die 2x the tree has been failing to harbor fruit for months. I want Barbatos to act like a silver-tongued horror character while romantic tension still continues. creep me out while turning me on. Nightbringer the benefit you give to me is that you're mysterious but now the disadvantage is that your lack of information makes others not care about you, I still love you anyway.

[curiouslavellan]

“Justice doesn’t let me drink” as a moral statement: lame

“Justice doesn’t let me drink” as in they have a crazy fast abomination metabolism so alcohol doesn’t affect them: better

“Justice doesn’t let me drink” as in Justice just thinks alcohol is yucky: best

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay

[thedreadvampy]

legitimately insane how to some people, "we should wipe out this ethnic group that we've violently constrained to a ghetto because they're just genetically more violent and dangerous" is a reasonable and justifiable statement but it's Nazi Rhetoric to say something like, "it's bad that Israeli civilians are being killed but acknowledging that as tragic includes acknowledging that the almost daily state-sanctioned murder of civilians by the Israeli government is also tragic and unacceptable"

btw guys speaking of Nazi shit - can we check in, alongside what's been done to Palestinians in the last 75 years, what's the Israeli government's take on the Azerbaijani government's newest round of ethnic cleansing of Armenians? oh are the Israeli government's actions maybe not determined by Jewish identity, but by a commitment to colonial supremacy which puts them on the same page as other violently genocidal states like Azerbaijan, the US, and the UK? god can you Even Imagine?

(framing speaking against Israeli war crimes as inherently antisemitic requires understanding the Israeli state as representing all Jewish people, when it doesn't even represent all Israelis.

framing Israeli war crimes as synonymous with Jewish identity is pretty fucked up if we're being honest. I don't think that controlling water and power and movement for a captive population and shooting children dead for throwing stones is an inherent value of Judaism, any more than I think the torture carried out at Guantanamo Bay is an inherent value of Christianity - in both cases they're atrocities carried out by a far right genocidal government using religious identity as a shield.

Calling statements like "Israel is committing genocide against the people it's displaced" inherently antisemitic is doing more to further the idea that all Jewish people are associated with Israel than saying "the Israeli government is doing war crimes," which is a statement of fact about a country that exists and does war crimes. Is criticism of Israel as a nation often used as cover for antisemitism? Absolutely. Does that mean the Israeli government isn't doing literal war crimes repeatedly, on record, while talking publicly about scrubbing an ethnic group off the map? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh well in the last 48 hours they've definitely cut off water and power to almost 600,000 civilians and allegedly used white phosphorus against civilians so in an extremely factual and unambiguous way yeah man those are Literal War Crimes whoever does them.)

[perseus-oh-my-perseus]

Uh... contrary to what popular belief would be, I typically go for a fancier look when I'm running late. Like, I'll originally plan for something like sweatpants and a I-truly-do-not-care shirt, and I'll have that stuff on, but when I'm running late, I just tend to. Change, ya know? I'll throw on some jeans, some jewelry, my boots, and I'll try to fluff up my shirt. I'll just be running out while putting on my makeup when I originally woke up planning to deadpan-glare my way through the day.

I love rain! No matter how inconveniencing, it always manages to lighten my mood because it reminds me to throw expectations out the window and say 'fuck it' and move on with a pep in my step. As much as I need sun, I also like my rain because it gives my light-sensitive eyes a break. It reminds me that I am alive just like everyone else I see and that the reality I see before me is real; and half the time I don't even realize that I'm starting to feel like a passenger in my own life. It's my own little break, it's my self-indulgence, it's my laughing in others' faces because they're annoyed at the rain when I've never felt so alive.

I'd say my laugh is different with a shitty joke. It's more of a kneel-over barking laughter that makes me start crying and my stomach her kind of laughter that takes me by surprise and leaves me with my eyes a little brighter, my smile a little more mischievous as we share that little moment of joy and humanity that we know will leave but we are both okay with it because it will come again. It's also got this sort of delay when I'm in the moment and enjoying myself where it'd take me a little bit to register it happening (delayed audio processing my beloved <3 /lh /s), and then the joke itself, and then I'll laugh and it'd be a little embarrassing that such a joke took so long--especially when I'm the only one to react to it--but everything washes over eventually, so it'll be alright.

I'd duck and scream. Honestly and genuinely, on Jupiter, that will be my reaction. I hate insects and I hate the unknown, so I will react accordingly because I don't know what it is or if that bee will sting me. And yes, this is a genuine, heart-gripping fear :(. I don't mind existing and I even respect how and why they Work, but I genuinely, truly and utterly, hate them flying near me because of the unknowns :(. I could give you a whole psycho-analysis about it, tbh, but that's not the conversation of today :).

I have two moods when delving deep into a good fanfic or book--either hilarious, I-forget-that-I'm-being-perceived faces (usually when I'm in public or in an otherwise populated/I Need To Be Aware Enough Of Reality To Remember I And Said Reality Exists space), or a truly and utterly, devoid of any expression or mental existence, deadpan/resting bitchface that leaves people concerned for my well-being and me totally and utterly unaware of my surroundings bc I'm just That Deep Within The Book. Both are equally likely to happen no matter the book or my involvement within it, it is just a product of being so very easily lost into hyperfocus when occupied with something but also unable to be bored/not doing anything. So... there we go! This happens with pretty much anything--me acting out so I remember my existence and Presence Within Reality, or just going completely dead to the world out of hyperfocus and/or being mentally drained (and the amount of hours I've lost after functions/long days- wow-)

Another thing I'd like to say, since we're already sorta on the topic of it, is that I make the cutest and most innocent facial expressions when my name is called/I'm being brought out of a focus/my attention is being shifted. One of my teachers literally Stops what she is doing when calling roll/being distracted by the monotonous of things when she calls my name because my nose is usually deep into a book/something I'm doing that I literally pop my head up, frown, and glance around to figure out where I am, before looking up and smiling to say that I'm here and then immediately burying my nose back into whatever I was doing. She. Stops. to do this with me :)). Each & every day I have her class :)). This happens in a lot of things too! It's just that look of genuine confusion about Everything like after a good and deep nap that leaves you wondering what day it is and what the concept of time is :)). I think about this interaction constantly :))

As for the other things? I've never had coffee a day in my life and I don't plan on it for a long time. I hate soda. I'm my own worst asshole and I will do things against the best interest of myself--for the better or the worse. I talk and genuinely feel as though I am not doing enough even though I am gone for nearly 18 hours a day on the regular. I am genuinely injured and still will go through that process and the back and forths of wondering if it's worth enough to take a break and also feeling like I've already taken too many breaks. I will worry needlessly over projects and grades despite having numerous past experiences telling me I'll do well because I'm worried that, as soon as I let my guard down, that will be it. I actively and vocally bargain my own fate almost 90% of the time because I, again, am my own worst asshole and, again, I worry that I'll drop the ball with my own cockiness on something I need. If left waiting/in an event where I'm merely watching instead of doing or I need to focus on something/kill time so I don't become a nervous wreck, I will start conducting a fake band with absolutely no rhythm than my own anxiety. I will also start tap-dancing with my boots (I have never tap-danced or seen tap-dancing a day in my life), and I have a much worse lung capacity than someone my age and ✨skill level✨ should have. But I am great at lessening anxiety around me, listening to people/talking through theirs, and joking around about my own stresses because I deserve it and it helps me too :)).

I also absolutely & utterly hate loud, unnecessary, and sudden noises--the second one especially when overstimulated!

Long distance relationships suck. I want to know so much more than what you text me.

I want to know what kind of outfit you pick when you're running terribly late. What's your first reaction to rain. If your laugh is different when it's caused by a shitty joke. How you react to a bee flying by. What expressions you have when reading a very good book...

All those things you find insignificant about yourself, I want to know them. I know there is so much to love about you that I will miss if I'm not close enough.

[philtatosbuck]

you don't think jason deserves to be close with the rest of the family??

do you think he wants to be??

[thescreamcorner]

y'know it's funny that they block evaded to keep using ableist arguments and accuse ME of "forcing syscourse on CDDs who don't give a shit", not only because it proved that this wasn't just "I'm uncomfortable seeing it" through going out of their way to reblog from another blog and therefore not making ANY attempt to curate their own experience, but ALSO through their main having a pinned about "here's proof endos are valid", meaning this also had to do with their OWN syscourse opinions.

So here, reminder! Block the goddamn anti endo tag if you don't want to see those posts. If you don't want your feed feeling clogged with "this post is hidden", start blocking the blogs that come up with those posts! And endos and pro-endos, FUCKING BLOCK ME INSTEAD OF COMING AT ME ON MY BLOG AND BEING ABLEIST PIECES OF SHIT, LET ALONE THEN TRY TO JUSTIFY IT BECAUSE YOU CANT BE ASSED TO CURATE YOUR OWN FEED BETTER.

[seaescapologist]

Absolutely don't mind, I am all for it! I love discussing theories. And I think bouncing ideas back and forth is probably the best way to improve them too!

I actually agree, I am also more inclined to think that Glenna is one of the newer members, both for the reasons you said. The timing when Glenna chose to approach us. She cites the Tournament as a reason why she noticed MC, but if Elliot played part in it (since he keeps track of MC, her working with him might be another reason why she decided to contact MC), while if she was 'The Sixth Associate' if that person is the reason why Elliot watching MC it'd make less sense if she didn't know about MC or only decided to approach them now (like back in Y3 she could use a potential excuse of seeing them around Hogsmeade and noting familiarity in much the same way.

And then of course there is Nyle's line, about meeting new people, which even further supports her interacting with Elliot's NOTME more recently, over being one of the original founders.

Still felt that I should at least entertain that possibility, since I do think that 'Sixth member' is connected to MC, so not considering (potential) relative that we did actually meet in the story at all, would be remiss. One way or another that 'sixth' person whoever they are, have to play a part, because Elliot specifically saying that he had six associates to Daniel in Y3, and then in Y4 Daily Prophet article is saying that 5 members were caught.

That had to be intentional, so either that one member eluded Elliot, so he simply couldn't expose them to the ministry (or they went into hiding before that happened so it didn't help them much, but based on the Kevin's line at the end of Y4 Ministry thought they caught everyone). OR he intentionally spared them specifically (would make sense if they have something he needs that he doesn't want Ministry to get their hands on).

Actually another thing worth considering, why Elliot even decided to get rid of the others: even if their views didn't align completely, on the surface their goals wouldn't be that different or get in the way of each other, aside from potentially competing for new members. But exposing them, runs the risk of them exposing him in turn (unless they didn't know his true identity, while he knew/somehow learned theirs, which is curious in its own way), so surely the reason has to be worth that risk.

And yeah, it's a great point that Glenna completely avoided mentioning NOTME! Especially with the commotion NOTME created in Hogsmeade so recently (which actually involved MC to a degree) that was to the point that even Hagrid heard about it straight away. And she even has a line that since it's a small community everyone knows everyone's business (or something like that), so there is no chance she didn't hear about that.

Just wanted to talk a little bit about the current season (and its ties to the main story). I know it's probably better wait, until it's fully released, but… Spoilers for the first two chapters of the season + Y4

I really like that current season has thematic ties to the main story. I feel like with NOTME being intertwined with the story, it'd only make sense that the subject of squibs in wizarding society should come up. Not to mention Goldings/Merriweather ties to MC (which might be true or not, but at this point I am more inclined to believe them).

So, there were some things in the main story that already pointed to MC likely having magical relative(s), despite (as far as they know) being a muggleborn. First one being our first meeting with Ollivander, where he noted that there is something familiar about MC. Another, what was confirmed in Y4, Elliot is keeping track of MC. And based on what Winifred said at the start of Y3, he's been doing that even BEFORE he approached/started working with Daniel. Since at that point MC didn't really make anything to warrant that kind of attention in the main story, it'd make sense there is something else at play. Originally I thought that 6th former associate of Elliot's (the only former NOTME member aside from him not caught by the Ministry in Y4 as far as we know), was that connection. And I still do think it's very likely (MC not remembering them isn't a problem, considering how Hermione managed to make her family forget her in the books), but admittedly if MC's similarity to Tiburon is true, it does put a dent into one of the main clues in favor of that theory, since that'd at least explain Ollivander's line.

So Glenna and Merriweather's connection to MC. The story makes it pretty clear that Glenna isn't telling us full story. Which doesn't necessary makes what she already said is a lie. The implication that it's very likely that if MC's grandmother was a squib, she was straight up abandoned (and likely obliviated to not even remember having wizarding family), by Tiburon is heavily hinted at after all, based on how Glenna talks about him. Which obviously would explain her awkwardness about possibly contacting MC's grandmother.

But what is also interesting is that Golding house is full of torn up NOTME posters. Not only that, there is even NOTME mask in Marlowe's box of toys. Which doesn't really prove or disprove possible blood-relation to MC. But I do wonder, if that mask is Glenna's or Nyle's. Cause I honestly could buy both possibilities. And I almost feel like Glenna is a more likely suspect there. Especially since it would give another reason why she'd try to connect with MC (and it might be that Nyle's line about him wanting that she'd be "meeting right people" like MC instead was about her associating with NOTME).

Anyway, I've been thinking if Elliot keeping track of MC does have something to do with Merriweather family history. Morven lines suggest that Nyle or even MC's grandmother weren't the first squibs in their lineage. And especially Morven's line about squibs overreaching and always trying to prove themselves (and generally him implying complicated things about family history). I still can't shake the feeling that with the name 'Magic Awakened' there is some kind of artefact or something like that, that could actually do just that in the story (I wonder at what cost, especially with the 'The Tale of the Three Brothers' being in a focus this season), and if MC's squib ancestor played part in creating or uncovering it. And it'd make sense if it's something Elliot would try to get his hands on. The only thing I am not sure about is why Elliot would suspect MC needed to get it. Since one way or another it seems like one of descendants of Merriweather family is already working with NOTME. And also Elliot didn't really try to recruit MC, instead choosing a more indirect approach by working with Daniel. I guess it's possible this item (if it exists) is hidden in Hogwarts. So for obvious reasons neither Nyle nor Glenna would be the best options to get it in that case.

…And once again I am still not completely abandoning idea of that 'Sixth Associate' being connected to MC, after all the story made a point of having only five members of NOTME being caught, in which case that person might have the artefact instead and MC might just be a way to get to them. I think one point in favor of that possibility. Is that Elliot had a falling out with NOTME. But on the surface his goals for the organization seem roughly the same (now, I personally doubt it's genuine, but). So you have to wonder, what caused the split. And I'd say usage of dubious artefact could probably explain it. One way or another that Sixth person seems to be an important factor in the main story, that will come into play sooner or later.

Oh, well. Guess I'll have to wait and see. Hopefully end of this season will provide at least some answers (and further fuel for more theories, that's half the fun).

By the way, another thing that I liked this season is Glenna's love for detective stories (and I agree with her: magic does make it more difficult to write a compelling detective/mystery plot), maybe I am reading too much into it, but almost feel like a nod to creating theories about the story.

Edit. Actually thinking further on it, could Glenna potentially be that 'sixth associate'. Elliot's associates were Hogwarts Alumni (based on what he himself said in Y3), and I sort of assumed that they were in roughly the same age-range (well, likely a bit older than him), but that's not necessary the case after all. Now, posters were Elliot's/'New' NOTME's doing, so not something that past associate would spread, but that's the thing: the ones we see in her house are all torn up (so maybe, not unlike MC in Y4 she was removing them from around the Hogsmeade). And obviously the mask could be just a remnant from working with original NOTME team. ...Though if we interpret Nyle's line about 'right kind of people' as implying NOTME, it sounds like it's more of a recent thing (since it was about meeting 'new people')?