#when they're like 10 years younger than i am right now

[bugbonz]

fuck destiny and all that shit

arthur shoulda taken merlin and gwen and run away to that farm. he shouldn't have had to be king. merlin shouldn't have had to be emrys. gwen shouldn't have had to be queen.

i just want these young adults to go live their cottagecore life together and be happy and carefree.

[five-miles-over]

Hi Mun 👋🏼 just found your blog off some tags lol

I would love it if you could do an age gap hc for joker? How would Arthur deal with developing feelings for a partner who is 10 or even 15 years younger than him?

Thank you so much!

Thanks for your patience, anon! I truly appreciate it. Also, Arthur's head canon turned into a bit of a fic, so I apologize for that.

Headcanon: Arthur Fleck Having an S/O Younger Than Him

"ID Please."

While Arthur accompanied you to the grocery store after your shift at work, you bought a bottle of wine to enjoy with the dinner you planned to cook for Arthur. He was coming over to your apartment for the first time, and you wanted to spoil him with a recipe you saw on a cooking show. So you bought all the ingredients, and a bottle of red.

The cashier glanced at you. "You're twenty-two huh? You look like you should be in high school."

You shook your head, flustered. "Um...thanks?"

After paying, you quickly left the store with your bagged groceries. But just when you reached for Arthur's hand, he flinched.

You didn't think much of it at first, but when you tried to talk to Arthur about something, he simply shrugged it off and said it was nothing

The truth is that, Arthur was still processing the fact that you were in your early twenties.

He knew you were a young beautiful woman, smart and kind. A total catch. And that part of Arthur, the part of his mind that told him he was an outcast and fed him nothing but negative thoughts, constantly said, "She could do so much better than you. You don't deserve her at all. She's the whole package, and what are you? Just some guy who can't even take her out to dinner."

He tried to hold it back as he saw other, bigger guys in Gotham walking with their partners, giving them bouquets of flowers wrapped in shiny plastic and other gifts, telling himself that someday he would do exactly that with you. But knowing that you were at ten years younger than him? That was just more fuel to the fire burning inside him.

"She's got her whole life ahead of her. She's going to find someone better, wait and see." The negative thoughts materialized again. "She's just with you out of pity. Date the sad clown, maybe she just wants to fool around. Wait and see. She's going to meet someone with a lot of money, a lot of status...She'll marry him, and when they're all sitting around at cocktail parties, she'll laugh about the time she dated a sad clown. And say she dodged a bullet."

"Arthur?" You tried to get his attention, and repeated his name a couple of times. "Arthur?"

Arthur, seemingly lost in thought, didn't respond until you stood in front of him, stopping him from crossing the street. "What happened?"

"Nothing," he lied. You crossed your arms, not having any of it. And this made Arthur laugh a bit, not out of amusement but out of fear. "Nothing, really," he lied again between laughs.

"Just tell me."

After a few moments of silence, Arthur simply asked. "Are you really twenty-two?...You're twenty-two."

"Yes. I am."

"That's young."

You shifted your weight to one foot. "I know that."

Arthur mirrored your gesture and swallowed. "So...well, I don't care. It's just young."

"I'm not that young," you rebuffed.

"Young enough that the cashier thinks you're in high school."

You put your hands on your hips, still carrying the bags of groceries. "Is that what this is about? He wasn't hitting on me!"

"No, but someone will," Arthur raised his voice a little. "You're young, what the hell do you know?"

"I know that you're my boyfriend and I love you. I don't care what some cashier says about me, and neither should you."

He shook his head. God how he loved the way you'd get so stubborn about your opinions. It was one of his favorite things about you, but right now, in this moment, it made him even more annoyed. How could you say such a thing, lying through your teeth? And with those three special words? "Bullshit," Arthur muttered, walking away from you to cross the street.

You followed him, huffing with your groceries. "Arthur Fleck, what is wrong with you?! Can't you just...Why are you so mad? Nothing happened! I'm still the same person I was twenty minutes ago."

"No. You're twenty-two." He turned around and lashed out. "You're twelve years younger than I am. What the hell's wrong with you? Hanging around with some old clown, waiting until some rich guy makes you his wife and you can leave me behind!" Your eyes widened. "Is that what you think of me?" Your lips quivered and tears formed in your eyes. "Is that seriously what you think this is, just...hanging around? Oh my god." You looked down as you felt a tear roll down your cheek.

Arthur visibly softened, reaching his hand out but stopping himself just before he could touch you. "I'm such an idiot," you sniffed. "You're right, what do I know?" "I'm sorry," Arthur sighed. "I didn't mean to make you cry." Arthur looked down, into your eyes. "I...was just shocked that you were younger. I thought it would...I don't deserve you. You're great, you're a perfect girl and I don't deserve you." He added, "I love you so damn much."

"I love you too," you looked up. "And I don't want to leave you." He laughed for a few moments with pain in his eyes, and bit the inside of his cheek to quiet down. "I'm so sorry," Arthur repeated and put his hands on your shoulders. "Oh my god, please don't cry. I'm so sorry." He took your grocery bags in his hands. "Let's go."

You and Arthur went back to your apartment, and didn't talk about your age for the rest of the night. But you did spend the evening together, telling each other - and showing each other - how much you really loved each other.

Joker Having an S/O Younger Than Him Would Include...

In complete contrast to Arthur, Joker finding out you were ten or fifteen years younger than him would excite him

He'd turn it into a complete kink, calling you his "personal little baby doll"

Whenever you'd go out, you'd be on his lap, him stroking your thighs and your hair.

Unless you were absolutely against the aesthetic, Joker would love to dress you in coquettish clothing - plaid mini skirts, knee-high white socks, white and pastel blouses that he would ruin with grease facepaint while making out with you, and corsets he would rip off you before having his way with you

And if you ever called him "daddy"? Watch out and be prepared to be dragged into the most private area by the Joker. Hope you didn't have any plans for the next...hour

In general, the Joker would be extremely protective of you, keeping his arm around your waist while you walked.

He'd spoil you with anything you ever wanted, acting almost like your sugar daddy while you window shopped.

And when it got cold, he'd put his red suit jacket over your shoulders saying, "Daddy's not going to let his baby doll freeze."

[olivianyx]

UPDATES ON MY JOURNEY

Heyy all! I've been focusing on my senior professional medical year and it has been stressful. So here are some things I manifested effortlessly and a few things without me thinking about it. Long ass post ahead! ⚠️⚠️

1. Getting more pocket money than usual. Like my parents usually transact in my account like a $80 or $100 AUD per month. But in both feb and march this year, they transacted me $500 and $700 AUD! Plus! I occasionally find $10 or $50 cash in my classroom or on the streets sometimes (and they come lie next to my feet 😭) I'd ask everyone in my class if it's theirs, and they say no. What do y'all expect me to do? Like go and give it to the university management?? 😭 hell no, so i kept it lol.

2. MANIFESTED DIOR'S LIP OILS!! 😭😭 LIKE 5 OF THEM 😭 YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE OBSESSED WITH LIP OILS 😭😭 AND I WANTED THE RASPBERRY ONE SO BAD, AND GUESS WHAT? I MANIFESTED IT ALONG WITH 4 OTHER SHADESS OMGGG 😭😭😭

3. My crush giving me hints that she's obsessed with me 😭 like she literally told me 'you're so sweet and caring, I've never met a person like this after my grandma' cus her grandma passed away recently and she was so depressed. She even had an eye infection, so she stopped coming to the uni. So i had to make sure she's alright, and met her everyday cus she needed someone real bad. Like she needed to talk to someone and get that thing bothering her outta her head. I was there all along whatever she was going through (don't come at me y'all, ik if we help someone they would say all these things but she's my crush lol so) She's also getting real close to me, like she tells me how annoying people are lol. She loves skin ship, physical touch, being clingy around me, and complimenting me 😭😭 so these are the hints 😭 like friends wouldn't do that right? Would they?? (My friends diss me right in front of everyone 😶)

4. I've always been the type to care too much for the silliest things, nowadays I don't really put my energy into it and become all anxious. My anxiety levels have completely gone down like I'm literally cool asf?? Even while being in public?? Literally yess

5. Manifested getting my hair coloured next week! and my mom permitted me! For my cousin's engagement in april, I wanna be there like the hot younger sister I am lol. I just wanna make my relatives and their kids jealous cus they made fun of me when I was younger (my younger self has been dreaming for this moment) so why not a revenge glow up?? 😭

6. Losing weight even though I eat like a pig due to my study stress. Like literally I ate a 5 course meal one day and lost 2 kgs the next day? (cus I randomly checked my weight for 2 days cus I had to submit my height and weight to the university student records)

7. Getting a natural blush on my face! Like it's such a game changer, I look like a movie star y'all 😭✋🏻

8. My teachers complimenting me for my discipline and high scores. As yk uni professors don't even give af bout students and they complimented me??

9. Getting into a new friend group! My old one was too toxic and they would always bully me (verbally) my new friend group is literally soo damn enjoyable! Like they're the cool kids of the year 😭 and now I'm one too!

10. As I mentioned in my older post that I'm moving into an apartment. We moved in and it was too difficult for me to sleep as the place was new and also there we're disturbances in the night time like stomping noises or playing loud music at night. So the neighbors there were too sweet that they introduced and comforted us that it's okay and if something's bothering us they'll take care of it. And they literally made the people who we're causing those disturbances to vacate out 😭😭✋🏻

11. My hair getting shinier! It was brittle before as I was severely anemic, now my baby hair is back and it's shining ✨

12. I overheard my parents conversing that they should make me audition for an entertainment company....like what? 😭😭✋🏻 when I asked them once years back they denied giving me a 4 hour lecture and now they wanna make me audition?? Like literally 😭 y'all watch me at the Grammy's (after 5 years lol)

13. Getting into the void on command or intention.

14. I literally get free foods everywhere I go 😭😭

15. I got free gifts from my uncle who's living in France! He works at a fashion company and he sent me perfumes and a few outfits (I can't reveal it I'm sorry)

I ONLY WAS THINKING ABOUT GETTING MY LIP OIL, GETTING CLOSE TO MY CRUSH AND FOCUSING ON MY STUDIES. THE REST, I MANIFESTED WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT.

SO WHAT NEXT?

I've decided to respawn to my waiting next month. I'm still scripting how my waiting room should be... So it might take time for me. So till then I'm gonna be strengthening my self concept even more, and also getting more and more excited to be in my waiting room! I want my waiting room to be like a more like a sci fi movie and a princess fairytale combined 😭 (ik I'm weird). Like I just want my favorite anime characters to be there to help me script my DR ✋🏻 So I'm kinda in a more excited mode lately to script my waiting room! Will give you updates on how my waiting room will be in a future post! So until then take care, love you, byeeee byeeee!

- olivia 🤍

[goodluckclove]

On Not Writing

Hi! I'm back. i had a fun two days of doing absolutely nothing writing related, including scrolling this blog. Wife and I played a lot of Valheim. Took a lot of bike rides. Watched Interstellar for the first time - pretty good, kind of silly at the end. It was my first two-day weekend in probably three months, so it was much-needed, hard as it was.

And it got me thinking of some things I wanted to say to the community here. It's especially targeted towards younger writers, of which I used to be one, but I think it can apply to anyone who finds themselves despairing over how much they aren't writing.

Let's imagine you're sitting with me in this coffee shop. It's an overcast Portland morning and I just inadvertently vivisected a croissant. And as we sip our drinks (I ordered a lavender latte), you lament to me. I don't know what to do, Clove. I just haven't been writing!

You know what I say to that?

Good.

This is a new hot take of mine that I, once again, worry about upsetting people with. Because I see a lot of guides here about how to write, or how to write consistently, or how to write through writers block. But I haven't seen a single person talking about the inverse - how to not write. Or - perhaps more accurately - how to exist as a human being separate from your identity as a writer.

This is a problem for me.

Listen - I started young. I was 12 when I wrote my first novella, and 13 when I completed my first novel the next year. Adults in my life were impressed by the big-eyed child writing so many words. They encouraged me. I wrote two more novels, and they continued to encourage me. Because of the potential, right? I could be successful. I could be famous.

People stopped pushing me to try other things. I saw I was getting validation as a writer, so that only pushed me to continue fixating over something I was already enjoying and getting pretty good at. Dad had me writing two thousand words every day, because that's what Stephen King did. At 16 I finished four full-length novels, which everyone thought was really cool and interesting. I was also sporting dual hand braces every day throughout the winter to cope with the carpal tunnel I still struggle with to this day.

There is encouraging a person in their passion. There is also poisoning them with the belief that their self-worth comes from pursuing that passion. This is entirely, absolutely, even more true for younger writers and artists.

I am enraged for the young writer in my heart and in my head. Because they worried about a lot of the same things I see people worry about on here. Oh, if I don't write I'm not a writer! And to an extent they're right, as to be a writer you need to at some point write some stuff.

But here's the fucking thing, Young Clover - a child should not strive for the work ethic of a professional adult. You did not need to write 2k words a day to be a writer. You were a writer as soon as you updated that terrible Invader Zim fanfiction you wrote when you were 10.

And more than that, though, the most important thing to a person should not be their job and aspirations. If you don't write every day, you're still a writer. If you've never written anything, you aren't - and that's fine. You might write something later down the line, or you might not. Either way you are still entitled to exist on the planet and capable of living a full and passionate and wonderful life.

Hear my words: being a writer is not more important than being a human being.

If you aren't writing right now, maybe you're not supposed to be. Maybe you're meant to be nurturing your relationships, or nurturing yourself. Maybe you're supposed to be volunteering. Or meeting new people. Or gaining a new field of knowledge. Or getting really good at making focaccia bread. Or watching every Mark Wahlberg movie.

I don't like to hear this any more than you do. If I was told that I, for some reason, was not allowed to write for the rest of my life, I would be miserable for maybe a long time. After that passed it's my hope that I would move on and do other things, because my worth is not dependent on being a writer. I like doing it. I like being it, and I hope to be one for the rest of my life. But I never want it to be the first thing people see when they look at me. I don't even like bringing it up in conversation with people I don't already know.

So yeah, if you have "writer's block", maybe consider putting down the pickaxe and getting some rest. Step away entirely from the large boulder that stands between you being the next Stephen King or Brandon Sanderson or Teen Dystopia Writer no. 2321. Take a break, and I mean an ACTUAL break, not the kind where you spend the whole time sulking about work.

I am legitimately begging the writers on here to have developed lives and interests outside of writing. I am begging because I do not have that and it has consistently been one of the hardest things of my life.

You prioritize living outside your writing and it will improve the quality of your writing when you get back to it, as it'll allow you a frame of reference that extends beyond our niche industry. Or it might make you realize that, while you enjoy writing, what you really love is ceramics. Or game developing. Or mutual-aid activism. Or the movies of Mark Wahlberg.

It is not your job to treat yourself like you already have a dozen deadlines and an audience teetering on the edge of disappointment. That's ultimately not going to help you. Your job on this earth is to exist fully, for the sake of the universe that wants so desperately to live vicariously through you.

So breathe. Breathe and calm down. You aren't a failure and there's nothing you have to prove. All you have to do today is drink some water and have a nice snack while you look at a cloud.

Please be kind. All of us need to be kinder to each other and to ourselves.

That's all I want to say. I love you dearly. Please let me know if you need anything.

[moony-2001]

Lore Olympus ch. 257-262 critique pt. 2

Aaaand we're back

Ch. 260

Hermes, Hebe, and trauma dumping

Jumping right into it, Hermes pissed me right the fuck off. I don't know why Demeter didn't want to accept the aid from the underworld, but I'm sure pride must be some of it. But for Hermes to call it an "in-law tiffy-tiff" was beyond wrong. I don't know or remember what, if any, beef he has with Demeter but read the fucking room, man.

I'm so glad Demeter took Hebe in though, like the absolute Queen that she is. One thing that disturbed me a little when Hebe and Demeter got to talking is how Rachel tries to pass off Hera's trauma dumping on Hebe as if it's nothing.

First of all, 18-year-olds are still kids. I know (at least for the vast majority here in the US) that 18 is the legal age of adulthood, but the human brain doesn't finish developing until around age 25. Even if that's how the rules in LO work (I have a sneaking suspicion they're not though, seeing as Persephone is technically stuck at age 19 for the rest of time) Hebe is 7 years off from having a fully developed brain.

Additionally, I don't like how Rachel frames the idea that Hebe found out all of this information from her mother as a now 18-year-old. I don't know if Rachel is forgetting her own damn timeline (not that there was a cohesive one in the first place) but Hebe wouldn't have been 18 at the time of finding out this information.

Remember the 10-year time skip? Yeah, that whole thing? And how 5 of the 6 Traitors were in a coma? For 10 years? In case you haven't picked up what I'm trying to put down, Hebe was 8 years old when her mother went into that coma. Which means that Hera dumped all this information on a literal fucking child who was 8 or potentially even younger since we have no frame of reference for when Hebe was told this information.

Demeter is right. It is wrong to burden your kids with that. I don't know Rachel, but from this writing, I would venture a guess that she's never had a parent trauma dump on her.

I have. Rachel has no idea how mentally taxing it is to have a parent trauma dump on you or have them drag you into the middle of their fights or vent about their spouse/your other parent to you behind their back. That is not something a parent should EVER do to a child and I'll be damned if I ever do that to mine.

And while there is a shred of truth to what Hebe is saying, about how that information helps her understand her mom, Hebe does not (and in fact should not) be part of her mother's journey to work on herself, especially at that young of an age. Your child is not your therapist.

Demophon, the not child of Demeter

I will say, I am glad that Demeter finally decided to open up to her somewhat adult daughter. Oh, what's this? Persephone looks upset and-

😀😐

of-fucking-course

Is this it?? Is this the moment when we finally find out what happened to Demeter in Attica all those years ago-

Anyway, what we find out is that while in Attica, Demeter supposedly fell in love with the King of Eleusis and had Demophon, a my little pony-looking abomination not worse than whatever the fuck the above pictures are supposed to be. But if you note my title for this portion of the chapter, you'll see it says "the not child of Demeter". And that, dear readers, is because Demophon is in fact not a child of Demeter in the original myths. And Rachel also spelled his name wrong. (You can read more about him here: Demophon of Eleusis)

It seems to me that Rachel is doing what most couples with a failing relationship do: throw a baby at it and hope it will fix the problems.

What technicality? Do you mean the "technicality" that Demeter was punished for insubordination (regardless of her intentions) and lived as a mortal for 10 years? And during that time as a mortal had a son who was born as and died as a mortal? Forgive me if I'm being slow here, but I don't see what this "technicality" is supposed to be. How is Demophon's death any different from the mortals that Persephone killed and asked if it was possible to bring back?

I'm gonna sound a little nitpicky here, but Hades is the god of the dead (and wealth) not the god of death. Believe it or not, there is a difference, and the brushing aside of that difference is the reason why people still get Hades and Thanatos mixed up to this day. Plus does no one remember what happened to Asclepius when he figured out how to raise the dead? tl;dr: not good things.

I have a feeling that all this is happening because Persephone and Hades are trying to buy off Demeter. They want brownie points with the woman who is rightfully upset about everything that is happening right now. And I'll be willing to bet that this smooths things right over with her.

Ch. 261

Off-topic, Demeter looked really pretty in this chapter #standemeter

The "technicality" and Hades' BS

I am glad Demeter gets this small bit of happiness but also:

Nice try, but that's not how that works. Get your smug, ugly-ass mug out of here. Once again, why is Demophon the exception? Because you're whipped for Persephone? Because you want a gold star from your MIL who has perfectly valid reasons to not like you?

Ah. I guess his name is Triptolemus now. Triptolemus who is the older brother of Demophon. Who is also not a son of Demeter. Sure.

NO DON'T FALL FOR IT DEMETER. IT'S A TRAP-

The sisters

It is nice for the most part to see Hera, Demeter, and Hestia interacting. I don't think that's something we've seen outside of flashbacks.

I don't, however, like this interaction between Demeter and Hera:

Yeah, no, that's not how that works. Demeter has every right to be mad at you for helping Hades and Persephone get around the fact that they "violated the laws of Xenia (hospitality)". It doesn't matter if Persephone was a "wild card". Hera had no right to marry them.

In fact, I had a conversation with anoldplace and something we discussed is how much Hera's responsibility/involvement in Persades is kinda just... brushed off. Especially if you look back at the way early chapters (I'm talking s1 early) when Hera changes her tune from "wtf, that's so gross, what is wrong with you" to "Let me get this whole ball rolling". Persephone wouldn't have even had half the interactions she did with Hades had Hera not put her in that internship for the underworld. And Demeter doesn't even know about the early stuff. Think about how livid she would be if she found out Hera was pulling the strings from the beginning. Yikes.

Different topic but the fact that both Demeter and Persephone love to swim is cute.

Ch. 262

Jfc, finally. I'm so tired lol.

Hera's prophecy

In honor of Hera's ugly highlighter-looking color, the sections shall, too, be in yellow.

I was pretty excited to see that Hera got a vision. I'm also sad that this isn't something we see utilized more often in the series. In fact, we don't really see any of the goddesses use their powers besides... oh, for Christ's sake. I don't even want to say it, it just adds to her Mary Sue-ness.

Place your bets on how long it takes for Rachel to dress Persephone in something similar, if not identical, to this.

Moving on, we see Kronos smush and kinda throw Hera away and she's left wondering:

That's cute and all, but no. Like I huffed and puffed with the whole "attempted murder" bullshit with Zeus, for one to die, they must be mortal. If gods could die, they wouldn't be gods. They would be human looking at you Demophon. I understand why the sentiment of dying is upsetting, but Hera, Zeus, whomever cannot die. I suppose similar to Egyptian mythology, they could be chopped up and have their parts scattered to the winds but from what I've seen, there's nothing in Greek mythology that details anything like that.

I did see a really funky theory that I agree with that Hera must be some kind of fertility goddess. In fact, I've seen a lot of people speculate that she was the fertility goddess on the wall of that cave that was destroyed. It would be really wonderful if that greyed-out goddess in Hera's vision was her and not Persephone. Kinda like the ultimate "taking back the power" moment. But tbh I'm not hopeful.

Persephone and Hades... yay/s

*gag* anyway-

Hades decided to give the MORTAL Demophon his whole stash of ambrosia but he doesn't really know if it will actually work and he's salty that Zeus is stingy with it.

Okay, first of all, if it's that damn important that you have ambrosia and you're going to be a salty mofo that the only person who has it is stingy with it, make your own damn ambrosia. You're telling me you've been alive for thousands of years yet the thought hadn't occurred to you once? Bffr. Watch this come back and bite them in the ass in the series finale.

Secondly, if you've never done this before, how do you know it's going to work for Demophon? I mean, it probably will because plot armor, but seriously? What would happen if Demophon just kicked the bucket all over again? Like congratulations, you re-traumatized your wife's mother who already doesn't like you.

Final thoughts

This is all just unraveling so quickly. Watch Demophon disappear and never be addressed again. I am really hoping that this series wraps up between March and May like genericpuff predicted because I am tired. I mean, I'll miss the ability to make content while the material is still piping hot, but also reading this comic is taking a toll on my health. I have never seen my blood pressure in such a state. And I'm not even the one writing the comic.

I can't imagine being in Rachel's shoes rn. I know this point has been beaten to death by everyone and their moms (myself included), but it's so clear that Rachel just doesn't give a shit about this comic anymore. And it's sad. But I also get it.

Rachel has talked about after LO she wants to do a comic along the lines of this but involving Egyptian or Norse mythology. I hope she doesn't for very obvious reasons, but if she decides she wants to step up to the plate for what will inevitably be LO pt. 2, I hope she takes the time to actually research the cultures and learn from the very egregious mistakes that she made here. I won't be there if she does.

[sunbeamah]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "sunbeamah "?

OF COURSE!!! I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET BACK TO YOU D:

I currently have 999 bookmarksgdfjh so this is gonna take a moment. And I've also been in many, many fandoms over the years, so please forgive me!

As for my name— there's only a little story!

One of my (many, lol) names mean 'sunrise', and one of my nicknames is Mah (that's the shorter version tho). Sunrisemah was a little strange imo, and Sunraymah reminds me of my Aunty's name, so Sunbeamah it was! It rolled off the tongue a little nicer too, I thought!

When I first made this account I would sometimes get confused and accidentally type in sunbae mah haha. I was reading too many manhwa!

Below the cut, in no particular order, are some of my top favourite fics that came to mind!!

Nobamaki (JJK)— witches x mafia au, what a mix!!! Absolute genius, I need to re-read this fic, it's part of what got me into nobamaki and urged me to finish jjk season 1 last year. I love Nobara and how feisty she is, and how powerful Maki is. The power struggle and I really enjoy fics with magic, and this one has a really cool system mixed with cursed techniques! I've read heaps of Rigamaroler's works, they're so good

Dabihawks (BNHA)— I remember being on Tumblr the DAY the hotwings ship started. I can't remember the exact user who started it up, but I remember in the week following it just ramped right up. I hopped on the hotwings train immediately-- even though I was even worse at using Tumblr than I am now. These 2 are fics that I LOVE, they're tied! Both set in canonverse, top one is a soulmate au, angsty with a happy ending and reformation (SUCH good angst, sometimes when I cry I come back to read it). Second one is an au where Rei divorces Endeavour and Hawks is saved from the Commission, it's so good!! Juurensha is awesome

Zolu (One Piece)— THIS ONE GOES CRAZY!!! So the backstory is like one of those christmas movies where a woman (Sanji, ironically (jkjk)) with a high powered city job goes back to her snowy home village and reunites with a charming man she grew up with, a lost love if you will (Ace), falls in love and realises her relationship with boyfriend (Zoro) is going nowhere. And said boyfriend comes to surprise her, only to find she's moved on. WITH A TWIST! A zolu twist. I love their instant attraction, they're so funny in this fic. Very real of them. Background Frobin, too!!

Karonico (Runaways)— Does anyone remember runaways?? I loved Karolina and Nico when I watched it. I hadn't read any hades/persephone au's until this fic, and ever since I've always been reminded of this one. Love their relationship, Nico's gentleness shining through the walls she's built around herself, Karolina wanting to be with Nico no matter what. It's how I like their relationship, as two girls who have been through a lot and when they come out of hard times, they want to be holding each others' hands. Very sweet!!!! This fic made me want a relationship so bad when I was younger. I still remember the OCs this fic lowkey inspired, too.

Fraxus (Fairy Tail)-- university au where Laxus is a wrestler and Freed becomes the wrestling team's social media manager. It's so so good, I love their relationship and their raw attraction. All of Eryiss' fics are amazing, I binged every fraxus fic they ever posted while I was recovering from surgery earlier this year. So good, alleviated my pain 100x better than medication haha

Klance (Voltron)— ahh yes, my voltron phase. My dark past, if u will. Jk jk. I made on ao3 account just to bookmark this fic haha! It's been so long, but I have to give this fic its roses. Lost in space au, injuries, fighting, angst, getting together, the whole lot. It was amazing, changed my life, genuinely. Cw for past non-con in Lance's life.

Elhani / Teleanor (The Good Place)— I can't figure out which ship name I like better. This is the fifth fic I ever bookmarked, I read this instead of studying for an important test. It was absolutely worth it. I remember it took me hours to read 'cause I kept trying to picture every scene perfectly. And also because I'd stop to 'study' haha. Tahani and Eleanor struggle with their attraction to one another, and yet it's love at first sight (I LOVE love at first sight..).

Sasunaru (Naruto)— I have to admit something. I love omegaverse. I know it's not for everyone, but it's definitely for me. Usually I go for F!omega x F!omega (i have a nobamaki wip of this), M!alpha x M!beta, those dynamics are super fun to me. But this one is M!alpha x M!omega, which I also love of course.

Anyways, I loved this fic, read it all in one night and then re-read it the next day, and when the final chapter came out I reread it all again haha. I'm a Naruto glazer, every time I read a fic and Sasuke acts like he's doing Naruto a favour by dating him, I want to claw at him. He doesn't know how lucky he is! In this fic, Sasuke knows his place! Jk jk, but I really do love their all-encompassing love for and devotion to each other, and I think it's especially present here!

Viktuuri (YOI)— Another omegaverse! This is also royalty au, Viktor is a little dark here but not to Yuuri and that's what I'm all about loll. It also has mpreg. Anyways, the protectiveness and cold opulence is something I really enjoy, and whenever I feel terrible and don't want to write, I'll read this and feel comforted that, between me and him, at least one of us is having a good timejfbhdgk.

[im-the-j-in-anthony-j-crowley]

Hi guys, I want to start by saying that I love you all and that my time in the fandom has been amazing

I don't know if that time is over, but we're definitely going to have a break because I need to think things through

If you want a VERY long talk about my views on the subject, and my general perspective, it's below.

I should give warning that both SA and depression are mentioned, with reference to suicide

I have always had problems with the age of both Michael's and David's partners, and you don't know how much I loved the girl who asked Michael about it.

However, both relationships were consensual, so even though I don't agree with it, I could simply acknowledge the fact that we have different worldviews and that's it.

Now I assume we know what's going on with Neil, and here the allegation is that it wasn't consensual. And also, it was girls my age, or younger than me.

Neil, I know the chances of you reading this are nil, and that possibly my stance on this is irrelevant. But taking into account the time I've put into the fandom.... I don't usually generate close connections with famous people, I always feel like they're about to make a mistake. Because we are human, and nobody deserves a pedestal. But it was something I almost did for Neil, especially after the post I made when I was in a crisis, that ridiculous "if this has x notes I do y thing" post.

and I guess I'm never going to be able to see the fact of Neil reblogging that post in any way other than "hey, maybe without that I wouldn't be here".

But there's no way I can keep my mouth shut on this, SA is an extremely touchy subject for me, and I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling right now. What am I supposed to do? Abandon this blog? Delete it?

Good omens is part of my life on an immense level.

It's on most of my tumblr, Crowley is my profile picture on TOO MANY things, Crowley and Aziraphale are my favourite couple of all time, basically my definition of the best fictional relationship.

And now all of that is mixed in with what's currently going on.

I don't know if I'm going to leave the fandom or not, but I do know that I possibly need to spend a few days or weeks assessing the situation.

I love you guys, if you decided to follow me here, I really do. I adore you. I love this blog, it's one of my favourite things in the world. But now every time I think about it, I realise that it's a little too close to home.

I hope the situation moves forward as well as possible, that it is resolved with the truth...

And I want to make it clear, it shouldn't be me, the 22 year old, who is saying that someone my age dating a person 20 years older is incorrect

Even if it is a consensual relationship, it should not be that it is considered a correct course of action.

I say that as the 14 year old who thought they were an adult, as the teenager who was convinced they were mature (I wasn't). And even though I now feel that I am 100% aware of my situation, and 100% capable of making the right decisions, I wouldn't be surprised if in 10 years I discover that my worldview was fucking wrong.

I say that as the 22 year old who is fucking obsessed with Michael Sheen, who has seen an immense amount of stuff just because he's in it. I shouldn't be the one to say that if the situation were to arise, it would be fucking wrong of him for anything to happen (This is nothing against Michael, he is simply the only actor who has ever interested me in that way)

If it turns out that the allegations are true, it's horrible

If it turns out they're not, Neil, please date someone your own age, PLEASE

NOT WITH GIRLS

Having finished that, I want to talk a bit more about the fandom itself. I'm not telling you that we should leave fandom, or anything. And I understand if there are those who have compelling reasons to stay, I have no problem with that and I understand that. I've had experience with deciding whether or not to leave a fandom.

What I will ask is that you please consider acknowledging the fact that the ages of the people involved in these relationships alone is questionable, and the possibility that it was without consent makes it even worse.

I'm not asking you to smash or burn anything with Neil's name on it, but please think about it.

Is there a chance it's a fake? Yes, but please consider supporting the victims, because it is a fact that victims of SA are often categorised as liars

Just... acknowledging what is happening is better than pretending it is not happening

That's why I'm doing this

It happened, this is my situation at the moment, I'm going to take some time to think about it

[huntershowl-moving]

SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSES SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?

i don't have one particular otp — big ships change depending on the Era hellhound is in!

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

nothing illegal obviously — other than that, aside from long-lifespan characters whose mental maturation is slower, i generally stay away from with 10+ year age gaps when the younger muse is under 20. just feels like a weird power dynamic i guess?

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

yes! ships on this blog cannot be pre-established — i tend to lose interest fast if they don't build up naturally, either through lots of ooc plotting or through writing. on top of that, seph is ... piiiiicky. she has very specific Types. generally, ships with very gentle, soft, mentally well-adjusted characters are possible, but transient — seph falls out of love after a point, but remains staunchly protective of them.

the long and short of the matter is she's a freak, and you kind of have to match that to be compatible as a long-term partner. but even then they don't always line up perfectly! idk. seph's weird. simultaneously very easy to ship with and very hard to ship with.

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

oh i've got lots of good ones going on right now!! pls forgive me for gushing. focusing on currently heavily-plotted and/or written ones for this bit bc otherwise it will be pages and pages!! if i forgot someone you have full permission to impale me on a pike i am SO SORRY. (all of these will be under a readmore at the end of the post for length!)

there are more sort of beginnings/potentials for ships that haven't been explored yet which i haven't included here, but i'm truly excited to see where each and every one of them goes!!!

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

yes absolutely hahaha — at least communicating ooc about it is necessary! i'm much more comfortable shipping with partners i mesh well with as a mun and have an easy time talking to.

ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

LOOK I. LISTEN. LISTEN... IM FERAL FOR SHIPS. FERAL. even though seph is picky about them — and i promise it's not personal if it doesnt work, it truly is just her dumb creature ass being unable to normal.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

N/A for this blog, but as a fun trivia fact, i'm deep in satosugu hell rn

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

it's all vibes babey. we just start writing their non-romantic dynamic buildup, and if it clicks (or even if u just think ur character would have a crush!) we talk about it ooc and plot some more, then plot some more and before u know it, the angst hammer looms over ur head

Tagged by: @bearratic (thank youuuu!!) Tagging: (points) do it

ship gushing below. <3

@vsagis' villain izuku— i had to put u first bc u kickstarted this shipping renaissance. seph and izuku clicked instantly and started a long-term trajectory that i don't think either of us writers expected. they're just freak enough to match each other, just soft enough to genuinely care. we're really putting these two through the horrors(tm) and watching them fall hopelessly, horribly in love. <3

@spiritcrown's pasha — how could i not mention pasha!! i was so happy to see you back, because pasha and seph's relationship was soooo formative for seph's development wrt romance. seph is absolutely, completely and utterly devoted to pasha. they worship at the altar of her. they would bend heaven and raise hell for her.

@crowshoots' jesper — UAHGHGBBHBH INCOHERENT CRYING NOISES. the first thing seph noticed about jesper was extremely respectable fighting skills, but even then they were definitely uhhhh touch and go for a while there before they started to simmer down and. pin each other down and — one thing led to another and jesper's being antagonized by her antagonists and they're too deeply in love to go back!! i love them. i l

@crowgreeds' kaz — HHHHHHHHH god. hi siri i know ur not around the dash much but idc im writing u into this. kaz and seph both have such a darkness in them that the other recognizes and not only feeds, but when necessary, balances. they're ruthless and violent and mean but at the same time, they have such a softness for each other that they both thought was dead. also, you're the recipient of probably the best rp reply i've ever written (that fucking. hellhound kill description. my GOD im feral for seph protecting him)

@tewwor.... goose is2g we really have the creatures ever. litho — FIRST SHIP!!!! FIRST SHIIIP i still cant believe it took 4 irl years for them to finally admit their stupid feelings. now they're soulmates and there's no turning back. he's the reason seph likes poetry in every verse. the softest snarkiest ship. probably the closest to a true YA-style soulmate seph has. she hasn't forgiven him for all the twilight jokes though tough luck jie & ricochet — the boys... the absolute chaos trio... i never expected seph and jie to fall for each other but honestly i should have. he falls so neatly into her "equally feral" type. ricochet is so calm and seph is kind of intoxicated by that. sheathed claws kind of vibe. just love these three their dynamic balances itself so well

@spungolden's dio — two femmes raised as weapons with deeply suppressed emotions, chillin in a murder alley, five feet apart cause theyre not g— (theyre gay. theyre so gay) these two are so sweet they sometimes make me tear up. they skipped the trauma stage and went straight into lesbian domestic fantasy with only occasional murder.

@chaoslulled oh boy(s). toji — brutally in love. they saw and embraced each other's monster, refused to shy away, and now they somehow revolve in this strange orbit of violent and incredibly soft with each other. i think he's the first of the current ship lineup that seph has in-thread said the L-word to. this ship was so easy to jump right into, the chemistry was like lightning in a bottle. satoru — one of the most genuinely unexpected slowburn ships i've stumbled into. these two read each other for filth INSTANTLY as lonely motherfuckers who, in some way or another, had loved and lost. they haven't even gotten to the oh-shit moment in the slowburn yet but i'm lookin forward to it yakuza sukuna — THE PAIN. THE SUFFERING. AUHHHGHGGGG HOL YOU'RE FUCKING KILLING MEEEE. these two are mirrors in the worst possible way. they've got their throats stuck under their boss' boot heels; they've been disfigured, they've had their siblings used as leverage, they've been made into muzzled dogs. despite hating each other at the start, they can't not recognize that, and it's led to this fierce protectiveness that isssss whoops evolving into feelings. i'm sure nothing will go wrong

@eraserisms' shota — AHHHHHHH god okay most of this ship has been pure plotting vibes and responses to memes, but i truly cannot wait to get into writing more of them because they own my heart and soul. i think they know each other to the marrow in a way that's not super common for seph, and the gentleness and caution with which they're starting to explore revisiting their care for each other is heartbreaking in the best way

@sasouken BEE!!!! ok chronologically(??): deku — so precious and wholesome from the start. your honor he's just a little guy with a big dumb crush. when i tell uuuuuu some of our plotting has literally made me tear up a little??? the absolute bleeding heart on this boy??? HURTS ME??? one day they'll hold hands casper — slated to be our angstiest dynamic, i just Know it. two motherfuckers who love their siblings, inextricably involved in a tangled web of crime and violence. two people who have lost so much and don't want to lose anyone ever again. i will die i WILL satoru — such... a different vibe than i was expecting in an amazing way?? his dynamic with seph is so fuckin sweet? so much physical touch born of trust and comfort. also again: her first ever fwb (for now), which is truly a wild thing to experience. sukuna — i .. . dont even know what to say about this one. (affectionate). he unlocked an entirely new dimension of freak in seph's psyche and attraction style that i couldn't comprehend before we started writing them but retrospectively makes so much sense. what the fuck is going on with these two i have no idea but i am OBSESSED with it. also writing them getting down nasty has been extremely fun, i'm enjoying it a lot

[rudytubooty2107]

What would you tell your 10-year-old self?

I was recently asked this question and I feel as if you already know exactly what I would say. I would sat absolutely nothing to my younger self. To be more specific, I wouldn't even approach my younger self out of fear for my presence would unintentionally harm my current self.

Allow me to explain myself on my reasonings for these actions I've decided to take with my past self, and why it would harm my present self. You see, I've been through a lot in my life. There have been so many things that have made my life a living hell if I had to be honest. I have been backstabbed, betrayed, thrown under the bus, left behind, and so many more things that I just can't explain. Mostly because it would take way too long to explain all of this is just one go. If I had to be honest, I could make several books with all these horrible things that have happened to me. And as much as it may seem like my life is complete shit, there is more to this than it may sound like. There's a song I love I heard when I was about the age of 10 that I hold very deep to my heart, it was called Live And Learn by Crush40. Just the name of the song should say more than enough for you to understand where I'm trying to go with this. As terrible as these things were, I learned a lot from all of these things that have happened to me. I know its very fucked up, and there's no other way to put it, but when life gives you lemons do whatever the fuck you want to do with them lemons. As long as you don't do the same thing you did before.

But there's not just the horrible things that keeps me from even approaching my younger self. Believe it or not, I have lived a great life full of plenty of beautifully wonderful people, places, and things. To be honest, I've met and talked to people who wished they could have lived the life that I'm currently living right now. I won't lie when I say that some of the things that I've done aren't things that I could really say on this platform without getting either reported or banned for life. Mind you, there not bad things, or even illegal (maybe), they were really fun and exciting. It's just they're not very appropriate to put on here. Regardless of that, I've had a lot of fun in my life. I've seen so many things that my younger self could've never dreamed of being able to see or be apart of. If anything, he'd be so jealous that he'd hope to never do anything that would ruin the chance of him doing everything that I've done to bring him to where I am right now.

The point is, I would never wish to change anything. I would rather going through hell and back again then to ever have to change anything that has happened to me in my past life. I want everything to be exactly the same as it has ever been so far. And nothing could make me change my mind. I want to be able to continue my life as it is. If not I wouldn't have been able to meet all of the wonderful people that I've come across so far. All of the places I've travelled to that most people could only hope to go to. More than likely have to spend thousands of dollars just to be able to come close to going to these places. Now mind you, I'm usually not the type of person that would brag about certain things in my life. I've always felt as if its very rude and inconsiderate of those that may not be in the same position as yourself or those around you. But for this, I'll make an exception just so you get the point.

So, as I said before, I would say absolutely nothing to my younger self, I wouldn't even approach him. But there is one thing I would do if I could go back in time to see my past self. I would just sit back and watch my younger self do all the things that I remember. Maybe even notice things that I had forgotten I had even done. It'd be a way to be able to reminisce on the time I had in my life back in those days. Even if I saw my younger past self stumble and fall, maybe even fail at something. I would do nothing but smile and laugh thinking to myself "It's ok, it'll all be worth it in the long run, I promise."

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. monday we watched ds9's "in purgatory's shadow" (ohio edition), "by inferno's light" (ohio edition), and "doctor bashir, i presume" (ohio edition), which did blow my tits clean off, and then last night we watched voy's "unity" and "darkling" (south carolina editions, sadly).

in purgatory's shadow (ds9) (ohio edition):

kira and odo's little moment at the beginning of this episode 🥺 he was soooo embarrassed to be caught attempting to try and learn how to snag a spouse but she didn't judge even a little. girl, break up with your stupid ass boyfriend. odo is right here

i really loved bashir pointing the phaser at garak when he figured garak was lying. i was like oh damn he knows him so well and i love when this twink has had enough and becomes a little evil BUT THEN IT LITERALLY WASN'T HIM! what an incredible plot twist. we literally had to pause the episode and work out the timelines to see how long we had been living with changeling bashir. it was sooo good and i wasn't expecting it at all. mwah

jadzia and worf are so good. her personality being settled into like, comic relief makes for such a good match to his whole straight man aura. obviously she taunts him with his klingon operas. please.

also lol "at the first sign of betrayal i will kill him" <3

i do NOT like whatever they are doing with garak and ziyal. first of all, he's gay. secondly, she is like at LEAST 20 years younger than him. i want to trust them but after jake dating all those older women i am so suspicious

the backpedaling they're doing on fun and friendly former facist dukat is insane. not to say i'm not enjoying it. also, i like when he threatened kira and she was like "pffft whatever" like what a blow to his fucking ego. get his ass

VERY cool to see martok again - totally unexpected

our last wonderful surprise of this ep was tain being garak's DAD- it makes so much sense and puts so much into perspective, and, hi, JULIAN WAS IN THE ROOM DURING THIS. garak could have asked him to leave and he would have. garak could have told tain he was there. but he didn't, because he wanted the moral support, and because he wanted julian to know something true about him. AUUUGHGHGH

like, we haven't had NEARLY enough garashir since s2, but this was SUCH a good moment, even though it feels like they're trying to backpedal on that too. what a series of plot twists for this ep 10/10

by inferno's light (ds9) (ohio edition):

dukat's betrayal here i like vaguely saw coming, but jesus christ lol. he is back to FULL villain status...such a change from his little fireworks show for sisko and jake

garak's claustrophobia <3 absolutely loooved this especially since julian had to go in and get him. bangs tankard on table MORE GARASHIR! there literally has NOT been enough. i would love to know more about tzenketh but i know they will never ever tell us but wow <3

i am SO tired of seeing worf lose fights this episode was fucking great. not only did he not lose any fights except under an extremely unfair circumstances he totally kicked ass even while injured. FINALLY. even that jem'hadar guy was like i can kill him but i can't defeat him so i give up. SOOOO true finally let's respect my boy worf. why don't you bitches call him a pussy NOW

anyway, the little moment worf and garak had at the end of this episode...mwah. put them on the fuck chart

extremely excited to see gowran in this episode. he and his freaky eyes are so special to me

"this station was built by cardassia" "that's funny i thought it was built by bajoran slave labor" I LOVE WHEN SISKO IS FUN AND FERAL.

also i know the circumstances were extenuating but i cannot BELIEVE julian just fucking murdered that jem'hadar <3

watching little fake julian run around was so distressing...i kept yelling when he came on screen because nobody KNEWWWW he even fooled US! what a cool twist, again

overall these two episodes were incredibly good even though the strong action-y episodes are usually not ds9's forte. absolutely baller content for everyone except ziyal. i will at least take comfort in the fact that garak looked very uncomfortable to be hugged

doctor bashir, i presume (ds9) (ohio edition):

AGAIN. THIS ONE BLEW MY TITS CLEAN OFF

i'm mad garak wasn't in it. AUGHGHGH

okay, my main beef with this one was pacing...i thought they resolved the problem extremely quickly after the cat was out of the bag, and it's because they spent so much time on the doctor and leeta and rom. which would have been a GREAT b-plot for any other episode, i LOVE leeta and rom and i was cheering for him the whole time, but even though the EMH (sorta) cameo was very welcome, i do not welcome it at the expense of time taken from one of the most pivotal episodes for julian bashir probably in this whole series, especially when i have the sneaking suspicion that it won't be brought up again

and i did LIKE the resolution of this episode, his parents paying for what they'd done, but it didn't feel like he got to sit with it for long enough, and it certainly felt like we skipped over a few pivotal moments - the scene where he found out his best friend knows could have been EXTREMELY meaty. is he afraid of judgement? is he angry? is he worried miles will be angry? etc. but we just kind of breezed right on by it. like, i loved the way miles sat and let him get it out of his system in a fun inverse of julian talking him down from suicide but we could have had SOOO much more

anyway side from that i love. I LOVE. holy shit

like, i can't even talk about the episode itself, just this entire concept. like, they did essentially kill their kid. they made him the way he is, a new kid, and then hated him for the way he is. SPOCK CORE. and then to find that out as a teenager...

like, you know he had to google "does being genetically enhanced make me a bad person" and then of course what google spits out is "did you know about khan noonien singh and would you like to?" and he was like Oh No

like, he went into MEDICINE. and i know he had other reasons and all but he went into MEDICINE because that's the most harmless you can possibly be. he's using all his ill-gotten brainpower to HEAL PEOPLE because his first reaction was to not want to be khan...2! you can enhance genetics but just like o'brien said that can't grow compassion, which is what makes julian who he is

I WISH GARAK HAD BEEN THERE.

anyway, i will continue to think about dr bashir for a very long time and he definitely just rose a couple of notches in my character ranking

unity (voy):

i actually liked this one a lot. i love borg eps and i'm fascinated by a post-borg life lived by these people

that said, this lady gave off SUCH evil vibes that even after the truth was revealed and she and chakotay fucked i kept waiting for her to stab him in the back. which only kind of happened i guess

also, :( that chakotay is out here running around on janeway. SAD

i did love the borg meld scene though. it was incredibly scary. and i was TWIRLING MY HAIR when he got possessed or whatever the fuck

it was also so fun that he spent half of this episode dazed and stumbling around because of his little head injury. excellent material overall

oh yeah and i KNEW that corpse was gonna wake back up. i think it's so terrifying that when you're borg, even if you die, you aren't done. you can be revived because nothing kills you, not even the vacuum of space. that is easily the most horrifying part of it all

i also really liked chakotay and janeway's moment at the end. like, she was distrustful the entire time and he was too trusting, as he tends to sometimes be, and then at the end she was like aw but they weren't so bad and he was like [thousand yard stare of guy who has fucked 2! women who later betrayed him and has now been radicalized against the borg]

like i'm not saying it wasn't 99% consensual with riley or seska but i AM saying that he was hopped up on the borg meld when he fucked riley and later riley was willing to use chakotay's body for her own means when push came to shove and i'm saying that seska knew full well the whole time it was happening that it was under completely false pretenses and she stole his dna without his consent to make a baby he also didn't consent to, even if it turned out she fucked up and got that kaxon baby instead. like, chakotay better be careful or he's gonna start fitting into captain kirk's niche

darkling (voy):

this one fucking sucked so bad

like, sure, yes, emh evil now. does he have to keep creepy-touching all the women

also, WHAT? we get ONE LINE about kes and neelix breaking up and he's not even IN this episode? why did they even break them up??? just because they wrre planning on having her leave soon????? absolutely baffling

i don't think evil emh was very compelling...i am glad he got to act or whatever, but i didn't even get the usual "battle of the selves" that we often wind up with when we do these kind of tropes. it was just...a malfunction, and eventually it was corrected

also, what a BAFFLING b-plot. if you measure each of kes's years (except the first, i suppose) as a decade in human beings, we can assume she's in her thirties now, so she just...breaks up with her boyfriend to smooch the hot alien guy she met a few days ago and then maybe wants to run off with him? in her THIRTIES?

i DID like the EMH quoting the oath at the end, but without any sort of battle of the selves or real emotional investment in what he did when he was evil, it feels kind of wasted on this episode. it's a fine concept, but the execution falls soooo flat

NEXT TIME: voy's "rise" and "favorite son."

[alpydk]

So BPD/EUPD (my essay)

I said I'd make a post - Not BG3 related in any way, so ignore if you're not interested in that. - Warning it's long. -

Also TW (sui, s/h, MH...etc...)

BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) / EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder)

I only got diagnosed in 2022 - late for most who get this, but looking over my life, there are a lot of big red flags that show I should've got diagnosed earlier. Going to be from my life with it, can't speak for the others with it, so hey, this is how it is for me. Like all illnesses - It's A sPeCTruM!

So I'm EUPD type Borderline under the DK rules. Some argue there is this 4 types things but there's no research at all here for it. They treat with meds (useless for me I've found) and DBT (basically used for mental illness, it feels like.) - I am raw dogging life thanks to circumstance which explain why I can be a little tetchy at times.

To be diagnosed, you must fulfil 5 of the 9 criteria below (which honestly feel so fucking vague and overlap with so many other conditions basically anyone could be diagnosed it feels like.) There are a number of people who find they're actually AuADHD / CPTSD etc and yeah, BPD can be a problem once it's on your file, so find a good doctor who knows their shit. This is not a fun condition to have. Around 10% of people with BPD are estimated to die by suicide, a rate far higher than the average. - Fun right!

The 9 criteria are:

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in Criterion 5) - For me, I cut people off instantly or even before I get to know them. It is simply easier to be alone than risk being abandoned. Backwards isn't it? - If you've got into my circle somehow you're probably off the wall fucking nuts (like me). I will push people away to prove I'm right and that they will abandon me because that's easier to manage.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating between extremes of idealisation and devaluation - When I had my break, I became obsessed with a guy I knew. His emotions dictated my emotions. If he was happy, I was happy (you get the picture.) - If he worried about me, I felt validated and so I spiraled. How worried could I get him to be? When he didn't answer or didn't reply in the way I wanted, he became an asshole in my world. (splitting) Instantly he'd be cut off, or he'd be goaded into speaking with me until I was happy with him again. This went on for months.

Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self - See Nana. This is a difficult one to explain without it getting depressing. I have no concept of who I am as a person. If you ask about core values, I don't know. If you ask about hobbies, I'll usually mirror what's being presented in front of me. I have been so conditioned growing up to hold back that I build no connection unless it is acceptable, and now I'm older, I'm basically lost playing in masks. Yeah, enough on that...

Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating) (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in Criterion 5) - Binge Eating and spending are my big two. I did drinking when I was younger. Sex is.... a topic...

Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour - I have not S/H'ed in over a motherfucking year! Does that mean I don't want to? Fuck no. I just don't have access to it.

Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g. intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days) - Like a fucking seesaw. You'll see it on my feed. Major depressive angst and then I'm wanting to fuck Rugan and Gale in some sort of super masc sandwich, all in the space of 3-4 hours. When I say a mood will pass, I fucking mean it.

Chronic feelings of emptiness - yeahhh. Self explanatory, right?

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g. frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights) - I lose my shit pretty often. I've learnt how to bring it down, like I'm not one for temper tantrums and public displays. It's all internal and brewing constantly. Take, for example, the other night. I lost my shit over something really minor (simple insecurities causing me to lash out. I have since blocked the offender like a mature moron, even though they probably don't realise or even understand why. I'm still angry at them though.) - Either way, gives an idea of what it's sort of like in my head.

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms - This hasn't been as big a problem as it was during my breakdown. At that point, I'd travel to work and could not tell you how I got there. I still have moments of dissociation which are problematic, but it's manageable.

Anyway - That's the 9 and as you see, I get a nice big tick next to each one. People with BPD pretty much always have a nice trauma backstory to boot as well.

Personal things that bother me. Someone questioning my diagnosis. A big thing with BPD (at least for me) is validation. Having someone say my diagnosis could be wrong doesn't help me when my sense of identity is so fucked. I trust my doctors. They were thorough and they have so many more years of experience than google.

The other thing is the "my ex had, my MIL had..." Did they? Or are you just doing some arm chair psychology to explain why they were a jerk and as such preventing people like me from getting real help due to stigma? On this note - 7 psychiatrists I went through before one would even agree to see me, simply based on a potential diagnosis. Patients would be easier to work with if Drs didn't have preconceived ideas before we walked through the door.

Oh, one last thing of annoyance - FP's (Favourite person) - I fucking hate this term. You see, the obsession thing earlier - That's technically what this was, but thanks to tiktok and other social media sites some people like to RP mental illnesses now and FP's are their fucking lives. I just.... bug bear rage there.

So yeah, that's me. That's my essay on my mental health and over sharing for the week, and possibly an explanation for why things have been so erratic recently.

[youdontlookautistic]

On the Interwebs: The State of Permanent Opinion

I love Youtube drama, I can't help it. I love watching the dynamics change, the ebb and flows of public opinion, the actions and consequences.

But seeing Youtubers get piled on for comments made 5 or 15 years ago, it sucks man.

The internet of 2020s pisses me off. And it makes me angry to see how it is stumping the concept of growth. Growth of humans. Growth of you and me. It's feeding an idea that we can't change or grow.

Has there ever been a time in our history where our lives were recorded for permenancy, for all the public to see? Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, tiktok, YouTube... Where not only our deepest opinions, but our random thoughts are sought?

There's a huge push to hold people accountable for things they've posted in the past. When tea hits the fan, the fans go digging. They go back and back, the Time Machine gets a spike.

The person is then required to be open about the fact that 5, 10, 15 years ago they had different, ignorant opinions. And then there's huge whiplash against them, rather than appreciation that they've grown and learned since being that person.

But, like, this is the point of being human? Learning, understanding, and growing is literally the point of being human. It's survival.

And now we have this avenue (the interwebs) where all our expressions are there forever. Often even if we delete them. And instead of it simply being as it is - a comment someone made however many years ago when they were younger and dumber - it's seen as a statement in the now. The dates don't matter.

I had ignorant opinions 6 months ago. I had them 2 years ago. 6 years ago. 10 years ago. I am an evolving brain of ideas and when I understand more, I grow.

I get it. Some people don't change. But that's where you hold them accountable for their actions and behaviours now, right? If they're still doing it then definitely tell them. Communication is the first step isn't it? Otherwise they don't know. And then once they know, and they continue the behaviour, that's when you walk away.

It just makes me sad that the experience and expression of growth isn't acknowledged anymore. People just wanna hate what they hate. They don't want to see the bigger picture and understand that ideas and beliefs and cultures change every 50 years. What we believe now is not what we're going to believe in 50 years. That's humanity.

That's the beautiful part.

[ailendolin]

Hello!

Fellow Ghosts fan here! Love your ghosts work and your writing! It's really good!

I'm wondering if you got some more thoughts on the german ghosts? Like when you wrote "love-hungry poet" Friedrich Dorn has a crush on Felix instead of Emma.

Hello fellow Ghosts fan! Thank you so much for your ask and your kind words about my writing! I do indeed have more thoughts on the German ghosts! Bear in mind, they're based on nothing more than a promo picture and short press release so most of them will probably end up being quite wrong.

Joachim strikes me as gentler version of Julian. I think it’s likely he died under similar circumstances – although the lighting in the promo pic almost makes it look like his suit jacket is dirty so maybe he had a tryst outside? It’s also possible something else got him killed (maybe he got mugged?). Anyway, I love that he looks like a typical German guy from the 80s – they really nailed that. If it turns out he has a kid like Julian, I really hope we will see him/her visit German Button House one day.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Richard Dorn declares Schiller, Goethe, Kleist or any other German poet of his time his mortal enemy. Maybe even all of them. As I’ve mentioned before, I’d love to see a twist on the romance plot with him going after Felix instead of Emma (and I really wouldn’t mind him eventually realising that Claudius is right there …). It looks like he got shot just like Thomas so I wonder if we’re going to see another heart-breaking duel, treacherous cousin included.

Adelheid, just like Fanny and Hetty, will probably end up becoming one of my favourites. Her costume doesn’t tell us much but the feather in her hair and fancy dress suggests she didn’t die getting ready for bed. Personally, I'd put a spin on her character by her having an affair with her maid (or the gardener/butler, I suppose) rather than her husband being the one who cheated. It won’t happen like that but I think it’d be a fun way to shake things up.

Now, Claudius I’m already in love with. I was hoping for a Roman character when I made my own German version and I’m glad we’re getting one. Interestingly, Claudius is wearing his helmet and armour and seems to have his sword on him as well but doesn’t look like he’s actually been in a battle – perhaps he died on the eve of one? Since he's based on the Captain, Claudius might very well be gay. Perhaps he had a lover in the army or at home – or he fell in love with the enemy (maybe he drank poison before battle so he wouldn't have to fight his lover). I’d like to think showing emotions is difficult for him (hence why Richard doesn't realise he likes him) and that he speaks Latin when he gets emotional.

Griet is going to be so awesome. I mentioned before that she seems to be the lovechild of Mary and Annie based on her looks and feminist personality, and I am very much here for that. She’s not going to be someone you want to cross and I can very well imagine her being the one who establishes some order in the house. I want her and Adelheid to become besties and the others to be a little scared of her.

Urs gives me younger Robin vibes - by which I mean he comes off as a happier, more naïve and innocent version of Robin. That’s obviously just a first expression based on a single picture but I can see him looking at the world around him in childlike wonder whereas Robin was more sad and jaded. I want him to be curious about the world, about technology (in the sense of wanting to learn and calling the cables worms and cameras metal cows like Mary), and smile in true delight when he sees a butterfly – basically a mix of Robin and a toned down version of Kitty.

Svenni being described as a teacher is really interesting. She gives off elementary school teacher vibes and I would honestly love to see her try to wrangle the ghosts like she would 6-10 year old pupils. That’s bound to be hilarious. She’s not a scout so she probably was on a school trip with her class when she got her arrow. I wonder if she has kids of her own. She doesn’t strike me as a mum which is why I think the “child comes to Button House” storyline would work better with Joachim. I feel like she might be one of those “still waters run deep” characters and will surprise us. I can also really see her bonding with Emma.

I don’t have many thoughts on Emma and Felix yet but one thing I love about them in the promo picture is how done both of them already look. They’ve probably been at the house for only a few weeks and are clearly already fed up with the ghostly shenanigans. I also love how normal they both look. No fancy clothes, no fancy make-up – just two ordinary young people who are in way over their heads.

And finally, the House. Because of Claudius’s presence, I think it will be located somewhere in Western Germany. From the promo picture, it gives off the same vibes as Button House with the large, dark red room, the windows to the right and the wallpaper peeling off the walls. According to the press release, Emma and Felix are planning to turn it into a hotel, and while I hope they will succeed where Alison and Mike failed, I don’t want them to have it as easy as Jay and Sam had it in the US version. I want them to struggle for a few series (insert wishful thinking that it will have more than one series here) and at the very end, finally open their hotel.

That's all I have for now. I'd love to hear your thoughts (and everyone else's) as well!

[dandelionjedi]

15 People, 15 Questions

@foreverchangingfandomsao3 thank you so much for tagging me!!!

1. Are you named after anyone?

I believe I am named after a woman my mother met once. I'm not confident of the full story.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I think it was last week? I don't often cry when I'm sad, but I cry very quickly if I get overwhelmed. I got pulled into a frustrating conversation when I was very tired and not at all prepared for said frustrating conversation.

3. Do you have kids?

No, and I have no plans to have any, for a wide variety of reasons.

4. What sports do you play/have played?

Is competitive knitting a sport? I'm not really a sports person. I was in a little soccer league when I was 10, if that counts.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Not often. And not well, honestly.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Probably hairstyle, and general vibe.

7. What’s your eye color?

Brown.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Definitely happy endings, I'm not much of a horror person.

9. Any talents?

I'm very good at understanding how fabric works, and also general crafts and stuff.

10. Where were you born?

The east coast of the USA

11. What are your hobbies?

Fiber arts (knitting, crochet, spinning yarn, dying yarn, and whatever else I'm in the mood for), music (I play the violin and the drum set, and want to learn guitar), reading, and miscellaneous arts and crafts. I love to dabble in new things.

12. Do you have any pets?

A cat named Lily, who is the best. Also a ball python (Sumac). My younger sibling has two rats. And I live on a farm with goats, chickens, ducks, and sheep, who are sort of pets to various degrees.

Except right now I'm doing an exchange year, and all of them are very far away. My host family has two dogs and two parakeets.

13. How tall are you?

About 5ft 10in, or 178cm.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Probably math.

15. Dream job?

Hmm... I'd say my current very specific dream job is to work for a small business of no more than 10 people in the fiber arts industry, where I spend a good portion of my time making things, and maybe do a bit of administrative work too, because I have discovered that I honestly like spreadsheets, as long as they're not completely pointless.

No pressure tags for @wraith--2, @aphesma-01, @flightlessnotfightless

[johaerys-writes]

Do you know the approximate ages of all the main characters in The Iliad?

Hi anon! I haven't looked into this topic before tbh, and I feel like researching it thoroughly will take up a lot of time, so these are just off the top of my head!

Achilles was a teenager when Agamemnon called the men of Hellas to sail to Troy. By the time of the Iliad, he must be in his late 20s.

Patroclus is described as being slightly older, and therefore wiser, than Achilles and is sent to Troy to counsel him. So he must be in his early 30s in the Iliad.

Ajax is Achilles' cousin, and is said to have been trained by Chiron too. But I'm not sure if they trained at the same time? Telamon, Ajax's father, is the elder brother of Peleus, so if we assume that both these men had their kids at about the same age, then Ajax would be at least a few years older than Achilles. Maybe Ajax was sent to Chiron first, and then Achilles followed. I'm really not sure haha. But I would say he must be about mid to late 30s.

The sacrifice of Iphigenia is one of those myths that not everyone accepts as part of the Iliad, but I am one of those that believe that it should be read into the greater myth of the Iliad and the Epic Cycle (for various reasons that I will not go into now lol). Agamemnon and Clytemnestra had four kids, and Iphigenia was the oldest, who at the start of the Trojan war was at marrying age (let's say about 15). That means that Agamemnon must have been at the very least in his mid 30s when the war started (although men generally married older than the women). So in the Iliad he should be at least mid to late 40s.

Menelaus is Agamemnon's younger brother, so.... let's say he's late 30s, early 40s when the Iliad starts? Give or take?? My impression is that he's a quite a bit younger than Agamemnon but I don't remember a specific passage about it right now.

Odysseus left Ithaca after Penelope had just had Telemachus, so that would have been in the first or second year of their marriage. He must have been at least in his 20s when that happened, let's say mid to late twenties. He must be mid to late 30s in the Iliad.

Nestor is described as having seen two generations of men, and that he's still ruling as king in the third age, so I would assume he's FUCK old lmao. Probably 70s-80s in the Iliad, I would say.

Hector is Priam's oldest son by Hecuba, and he has 19 siblings by the same mother. The youngest son, Polydorus, is old enough to meet Achilles on the battlefield in the Iliad. I'm not sure in which order the children were born, but if we assume that Hector has at least a 10 year age difference with Polydorus, and that Polydorus is at least 15 in the Iliad, then we're already looking at a man who is in his mid to late 20s at the very least. But he's most definitely much older than that, because...

Helen's daughter, Hermione, is quite young when Helen leaves with Paris, but I'm not sure how old exactly. What we do know is that Helen spends 10 years in Troy before the Achaeans arrive, and then there's 10 more years of the war, so at the time of the Iliad she must be... late 30s? At least? And Paris is probably around the same age as her. And if Paris is in his late 30s, and he's Hector's younger brother, then Hector is even older than him. Which means that Hector is probably in his early 40s.

Priam has a ton of children, and he is generally described in the Iliad as a kindly and mild-mannered old man, so I would place him about Nestor's age. Virgil in his Aeneid has Priam be in his 80s when Troy is sacked, and I think that estimation is correct.

I think these are the main characters?? Don't think I've missed anyone lol. As I said, these are off the top of my head so if anyone has any corrections or additions they're welcome to add them <3

[6okuto]

🍙 for @dira333 from my fruits basket :3

1) about my 5sos phase (+ 1d)

i didn't think someone would actually ask omg LOL. i was into 1d for a bit too!! 😭 got into 5sos first and was way more into them, but i did go to concerts for both in 2015 (almost got ashton’s drumstick and i get pissed thinking about it to this day).. and then 1d announced their hiatus a month later and i was like Oh. LOL. i was there for made in the am though!! :D 

my 5sos phase was when i was 10-12..? my friends and i liked them in grade 6 And when you're 11 year old girls Everyone calls dibs. so i had to say my fave was michael. A Lie. i liked luke and calum. also i had a fanacc... so embarrassing because my irls followed me. i try not to think about it. i had 1.8k followers before impulsively giving the account away LOL. then i was into bts until i was 16ish :0

i met my first internet friends through that fanacc though!! we don't talk much anymore, but they're dear to me 🩷 been friends for near a decade now 🫨 but kids under 13 if here Stay Safe and or like.. don’t be on socmed??!!! do not follow in our footsteps.. the internet feels much worse now 🙁😟…

to this day i probably know 5sos’s old discography better than any other artist, like, lyric wise. a close contender might be shawn mendes but he’s not important right now.

some icons of my time If anyone here recognizes them: heartbreak girl, unpredictable, beside you, heartache on the big screen, disconnected, safety pin (my alarm for so long every time it plays i flinch a little), fly away, jet black heart (not even my fave but it’d get stuck in my head more than any other song Dear God)

and for 1d!! u liking infinity and a.m. is So Real. i also liked wolves and temporary fix! of course history and end of the day etc were super catchy too. for four i liked where do broken hearts go, clouds (opening song at otra which was life changing really), fool’s gold.. i liked the whole album reallyfhbdhfb i’m not gonna get into the other ones because that’s so many songs but. you get it.

2) the song bokuto plays on a boombox outside my window at midnight to confess

now that my mind’s on 5sos and 1d If he played 18 by one direction i think i’d throw up /pos. in an au where he loved me since we were 18.. WOULDN’T THAT JUST BE LIFE CHANGING.

i want to be with you by chloe moriondo is also a good contender, cliche and cheesy as it also is..

notice me by alli simpson might actually make me laugh because it’d be silly.. like he’d have a little choreo or something.. but i was obsessed w the song when i was younger LOL

3) pda with cove in a new city versus sunset bird

jumped for joy at the sight of his name. this is such an interesting question actually because i’ve never thought of possible differences..

everyone in sunset bird (hometown) is used to us being affectionate while we walk around.. seeing a pair of wet footprints across the pavement as we walk back from the beach.. hmm if the new city is also by a beach or more tropical, he’d be comfortable acting similarly! but new york or something, he’s holding my hand and staying aware of our surroundings fhdbgh a little more serious and toned down.. i’m not swinging our arms back and forth or getting a piggy back ride y’know

thank u for the questions dira friend!! :D my cleaning break is about to end but i'll come by with questions i thought of on my next one 🫡🫡