#when they dont know the full fucking story

[shikaizer]

PAIGENEXTDOOR p.b x reader PART II

summary : PART I The aftermath of hooking up with your enemy has been lurking discomfort towards the both you, the firm avoidance towards each other and the unsolved feelings has you dumbfounded.

warning : smut 18+, agressive, confusing feelings, degration, slight angst? hair pulling.

a/n : my writing in the first part was kinda ass 😭 as because i was finishing up two drafts at the same time.

eversince what happend between the both of you, you both stumbled upon the akwardness and the avoidance towards each other, therefore, you didn't want to ignore her or whatever, she was making it harder for the both of you by acting like you never exist at all whenever its only the two of you in the same area, she just acts like shes all alone, she would only talk to you when it was you who would inititate a conversation.

you never figured why she was acting like this, because what you remembered, she was the first one to make the move, and all of the it felt like she felt a sudden shame wash over her body.

of course you are enraged by this, you tried to understand, you wanted to but whenever you would bring it up she would dodge the question.

just when you had enough with her constant bypass, without hesistation you have paige pinned, both hands on the counter, glancing up at her, she looked irritated but her eyes is telling you a different story.

"what are you doing?" paige uttured under her breath looking down at you, even though you were small it seemed like you had full control over the situation making paige gag at the thought.

"tell me, why the fuck, your avoiding what happend" you gnarled between words, pressing yourself closer to her your warm breath hitting her face.

"what happend?" she asked makeshift of her confused words, you slammed your hand on the counter aggresively making her flinch

"if this is about that night, forget about it." she states composed as if its not a big deal, meanwhile you on the other hand is going crazy so close to pulling out your hair.

"are you serious right now?" you murmur in disbelief, you backed away slightly and relaxed your shoulders.

she stayed quiet and the both of you just looked at each other for a moment, you hesitated to speak up, but you already took the courage to bring the situation up, so there was no turning back now.

but before you could open your mouth words came out of her mouth first. "i was confused." she state and you scoffed letting out a snort cocking your head.

"fucking confused? you gotta be kidding me!" you yelled at her completely losing it, and she sighed as if you are the one stressing whos in the wrong.

"was that a one night stand then?" you gained composure letting your hands rest on your hip and she looked down probably trying to gather some words to say, "i wanted to shut you up." she mumbled somehow unsure of what she just said

"your fucking stupid, do you have any idea what i feel right now?" you whimpered and she finally gain back her gaze towards you and her face softening when she saw the tears swelling in the corner of your eyes.

"im... sorry.. i was just fazed.. i.. i dont know.." she looked down on the floor feeling guilty as she stammer thru sentence, you clench your jaw your eyes relaxing, and you spoke up again.

"fuck me." you cut her off, she was quick to look back at you her mouth slightly open, stunned at what she just heard.

"what..?" she voiced out like she didn't hear what you said clearly, you walked up to her again this time your fingers had reached for your zipper pulling them down to reveal your bare body, with nothing underneath but just a sweater which you have now threw aside.

you pressed your body against her, your boobs pressing on her body making her let out a small whimper before both hands are now rested on your hips.

she leaned down to your level pulling you in for a kiss, her grasp on your hips tightening as the kiss becomes more rough and passionate.

you moaned thru the kiss when you felt her hand make its way to your tits pressing and squeezing them, pulling away from the kiss.

"cant fucking resist you.." you confesses and she cooed smirking, her lips brushing on your jaw as her hand reaches at the center of your short, she lifted you up with ease placing you on the counter, she looked up at you and moved a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"cant get enough of me huh?" she teased sliding your shorts down and she chuckled amused at the sight of your bare cunt. "not even a fucking underwear, been waiting for this moment are you? slut."

she spat on her hand and rubbed them on your clit making you grunt "fuck yes." you express jerk your hips forward and without warning, she slammed her fingers inside you the only source of lube is her spit and the build up wetness inside you.

"oh shit!" you threw your head back, your hips twitching adjusting to her fingers. "wanted this so bad right? fucking take it." she spat her fingers starting to move faster, her other hand slapping the side of your hips keeping her eyes on you.

she kept her focus on you, entertained at the sight of you and your fucked out face, her current view was enough for her to be pleased.

"look at you.." she cooed scanning your body up and down watching the way you respond to her fingers, you wrapped your arms around her shoulder pulling her closer, she gladly took your embrace by placing one hand on your back the other one working its way to delight.

"fuck fuck fuck.." you cant even think straight, your mind is absent and the only thing your thinking about right now is how deep shes moving inside you.

the curl of her fingers made you yelp arching your back, she took a full of your hairing pulling them for you to meet her gaze.

"pai..paige i love you" you uttured out of the blue and she squinted her eyes taken back from the sudden confession, her pace slowed down trying to process what you said.

her jaw clenches and gained composure slamming inside you again this time it was very rough and deeper, and it seemed like there was a mix of anger in it.

you yelled out pulling her closer to you nails digging on the back of her neck your eyes rolling to the back of your eyes.

you dont even realize that you are close to cumming, and before you know it, you have squirted. paige slowed down and kissed your shoulder.

your cheeks quickly heat up when you felt the wetness between your thighs and you looked at paige, she just smiled at you kissing your forehead.

"lets get you cleaned up." she voiced out lifting you up to the bathroom, completely putting aside the fact that you just expressed your love towards her.

[mechawolfie]

i get a therapist (HELL YEAH AWESOME, THIS IS GOOD !)

she tells me to apologize to my mom (HORRIBLE, I AM CONSIDERING MURDER)

[bamsara]

being an adult means we can buy or make as much self-indulgent shit (as we can afford) and unironically have trinkets of our fave things cause our teen years was bullied for liking things and hiding/denying we were ever neurodivergent to the point of suicide. sucks for anyone that thinks its weird cringe but I'm going to try and allow myself to love myself in little ways now

[mukimokai]

hey you!!!

wanna hear one of my fic ideas for a canon rewrite that will absolutely shatter your heart????

yeah...

you've been warned..

.

TW!!!

dr//g ab*se, attempted su!c!de

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alhaitham attempted to overdose after the argument with kaveh over their thesis.

.

they basically screamed each others throats off that day; they've argued over their differing ideals before but it was never this bad, and the fight eventually got a bit physical, and there was a lot of hairpulling, scratching, pulling each other up by the collar, because they weren't just arguing about the thesis anymore, they were mad at each other. until alhaitham pointed out kaveh's fatal flaw, how his altruism is going to fail him one day, and kaveh, who can't handle the truth, yanks at alhaithams hair again, telling him to fuck off, that he wishes he never met him, all through pained, angry tears. and then, he lets go and leaves, bolting out the front door and not even bothering to close it.

it was one of the first times in alhaitham's life that he had ever let his emotions get the better of him, and he watched kaveh run out of the door, panting and shaking, tears prickling the corners of his eyes out of pure, unadulterated frustration. and alhaitham realizes at this moment that he'd lost someone. again.

oh yes, alhaitham's all alone again!! no one cares about him anymore!! he'd just lost the last person in the world who gave a damn!! silly alhaitham!! all because you're you. because you had to open your mouth again. because you had to say something. all you wanted was to help, but nobody understands that. nobody ever will. to them, you're just a cold, calculated, arrogant, cocky, bastard. and look what you've done now.

the thought breaks him, and he crumbles to the ground in what can only be described as a meltdown, a very violent one. vases are shattered, kitchen wear chucked across the room, books thrown around carelessly, all while he screams curses into the air, directed at no one, maybe at Kusanali, maybe at Celestia, who knows, but he screams anyway, bordering on babbles as he stumbles to his room, dizzy and distressed and grabs the bottle of prescription drugs (working on what kind of drug currently). It's not full, it's almost empty actually, only about 10 tablets at the bottom, but alhaitham, hands shaking, laughs incredulously at himself, and eats all of them.

or at least: tries to...

the commotion he'd made upset his neighbours. initially, they were storming over to his house with the Matra beside them to have him taken care of but upon arrival, they were horrified. The matra with them practically tackled alhaitham, making him spit out the 3 pills he had in his mouth when they found him in his room; he had already taken 5. they dragged him to the bimarstan as fast as he could, the neighbours following in terror and worry.

alhaitham was saved that day and the memory still haunts him. he was so clouded with emotion he'd lost all sense of what he was doing and just felt, and it scared him how his own feelings took control of him. At that point, alhaitham only closed up even further, basically forcing on his poker face and shoving down his feelings because he never wanted to feel so vulnerable again. he doesn't want to feel. it hurts to feel. strong feelings only bring pain. more pain than alhaitham could bear.

so alhaitham chose to hide this story, he never told anyone about it, not even a single detail. but kaveh, who moved back in eventually and now lived with alhaitham for about a year since their argument, was tidying up when he found a bottle of pills under alhaitham's bed, it was practically empty, only 2 pills remained.

concerned, he questions alhaitham about it later and it was the first time he'd seen alhaitham genuinely look scared. when kaveh explained he'd found it under his bed, alhaitham snatched away the bottle and disposed of it in the trash, cursing himself for not having found it last year when the incident happened and couldn't believe it had been there the whole time.

kaveh isn't an idiot, he pieced it together the moment he saw alhaitham's reaction. he just stands there, completely speechless and horrified. all he can say is "when..?"

and alhaitham, for the first time since their school years, responds in a shaky, miserable voice, "a year ago."

and kaveh is stunned, just staring at alhaitham, who seemed so unreachable when he moved in, suddenly looking so heartbreakingly vulnerable.

he doesn't say anything.

kaveh just hugs him, buries alhaitham's face into his shoulder and hugs him. and he swears he can hear soft, weak sounds coming from the scribe, and he swears the fabric over his shoulders became damp, but he doesn't say anything.

he just holds him.

i'm sorry. come at my throat all you'd like.

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[red-animator]

Hey if I theoretically posted some fucked up Zestmilla smut, would there be an audience for it or should I keep it in my drafts?

[swagging-back-to]

it should be a cut and dry case if you go to a restaurant and get glutened by them. and by case i mean criminal. not just suing for damages and distress.

[carnivalls]

.

See the thing is. I know I'm good at writing. Like I have my weak areas or things I need to improve in, but it's not a skill I otherwise spend a lot of time feeling insecure about because a) if I don't believe in my writing literally who will b) if I want to publish my writing I ought to at least feel a resting level of good about it because editors and agents likely will not be cradling my face like a prize cat and telling me how talented I am while asking for their edits c) I've always had an audience for my writing even at its worst– I started sharing my original works online when I was around 16 & that really helped sell to me the idea of 'there will always be someone out there who likes what you do' d) untalented men never think this hard about the quality of their works and they always end up published anyway and e) I don't have many other thoroughly developed skills so why not have one I feel good about. Having said this. Awkward feeling to realize you're one of the authorial weak links in your postgraduate creative writing degree's social circle

[megumi-fm]

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[cator99]

I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

the thing with doctor who i think is that it gets better the more you know. maybe this is true of all writing but i only know doctor who so we'll focus on that. but i think it gets better the more you know this is why my fic is not very good. i dont know many things. i think if you have a background in like, just any field you can use you can make your doctor who stories more interesting. like linguistics maths physics and music are things that come to mind for me that i would like to know to make my doctor who stories more interesting but i think it can work with, like, almost anything. biology stuff also works well adds a lot. sociology stuff history. if you know how to sew really well or youve worked in meat factories. just, if you have deep knowledge about something this will enrich your doctor who stories (again, might be true for literally every writing)

but also things you can know that are just lived and not books. like i said with that post about different countries' doctor whos, every country would bring its own history and values and perspective to the stories. but also like for example the class stuff or the queer stuff you see with rtds stories like anything a writer Knows will make their stories more interesting

and thats why doctor who could literally be so good If They Diversified Their Fucking Staff. in every sense of the word. you need disabled people, trans people, racialised people, people with different religions but you need people who know other things than writing too! which i get is difficult because theyre mostly working in their fields and not writing but like there are writers who are not or have not only ever just been writers. or just get writers with some weird fucking hobbies!

even in the most basic way even if you keep your entire show white christian able-bodied man, if you have more of those you will have better stories. it will still suck! but like, less than if you only have 1 guy writing right? thats not a novel concept artists know this writers know this thats why they work together. and i get that making tv is very complex and theres a lot of interests and a lot of choices being made that arent even to do with the stories but i find it so frustrating to think about how good doctor who could be if they let other people in to put their knowledge and their perspective in the stories

[seafoam-taide]

I intended to avoid all social media today and I still technically am, I don't intend to look at any posts but oh man. Oh man guys. I was brainstorming a little more for my main oc story and it just hit me I'm sort of entering the position where I could start making the thing. Like. I've got enough figured out that if I'm ever going to make it, I've got enough base to start actually making it. Fuck

[lohstandfound]

Summary of the bmc apocalypse roleplays I did back in the day

Attempt 1- Jake's hero complex leads him to commit the crimes of harbouring a criminal, multiple threats of murder, and child endangerment often interrupted by bouts of major depression while babysitting

Attempt 2- Jake's hero complex leads him to leading a horde of zombies away from his community after promising to never abandon his friends again and gets lost on his way home

Attempt 3- Jake doesn't suffer from that much of a hero complex but does find himself getting kidnapped and escaping and getting lost. Then proceeds to get told off by Jeremy because he (Jake) wouldn't stay in the infirmary

Attempt 4- Jake's hero complex leads him to blaming himself for the destruction of the community he was leading (with the assistance of the Squip squad) because he wasn't there to protect them from being raided because he was out looking for supplies

[noisy-weasel]

I don't think this is completely in character cause I don't really see chevalier becoming "friends" with anyone but I do love headcanoning him and my mc becoming somewhat close over a love of books and military history and everyone thinking it's really weird when we like read together or talk books together cause what do you mean you actually like hanging out with chev??

[walking-loather]

NOTE: THIS IS NOT ABOUT HAVING CITIZENSHIP IN THE COUNTRY YOU LIVE IN. Having citizenship doesn't make you stop being an immigrant. You still moved lol. (Just cos ive legit met people who say im no longer an immigrant cos i have citizenship. Like... No king. I'm still not from here.)

Im just genuinely curious. There's obvs more nuance when it comes to immigration vs being a native citizen of the country you live in, but the poll is simplistic for the sake of getting clear numbers. But the button is there should u wish to press it.

[izzy-b-hands]

Trying to make my brain do anything today has just been case after case of 'well, half-assed is better than nothing I guess.'