#when it all comes crashing down

[flusteredfools]

Chapter 25: And What Am I to You?

Summary:

You’re breathing harder than the simple run back into the workshop would have created on its own; your heart pounding wildly in your chest doesn’t help you find relief once you collapse onto the workshop floor. The aching in your head has only increased as your eyes pool with tears that start to flow down your cheeks. You had been longing for them, missing them, worrying for them and feeling so guilty over how your heart would flutter over the flirty and teasing moments spent with your new guests, and yet, it was all a lie. Hurt and betrayal swells up inside you, forcing more tears to spill as you gasp for air. Your loves had broken their promise to you; this was an important secret and they said they wouldn’t keep any from you anymore. Your cries turn to sobs as you wrap yourself up into a ball, digging your nails into your arms. Is it not a real promise to Fae if they never say the actual word? Was it just something they said to appease you? A trick to earn your favor? Does it really matter now, it’s been broken either way. If they lied once, what stops them from doing so again? And again?

[s0fter-sin]

thinking about the way ghost doesn't hesitate to start killing shadows when graves betrays them but soap only takes one hostage

you can almost hear the voice in his head telling him it doesn't have to be this way; they can still talk it out

"i'm calling shepherd"

his first instinct when confronted with betrayal is to play it by the books: to go up the chain. that goes against everything we've seen him do. he bucks authority at every chance except for the one time he's confronted with the barrels of his allies' guns

he wants a peaceful resolution; for the first time we've ever seen, he doesn't want violence to be the answer. there has to be another fix, a solution that doesn't end with him killing the same men he's been working with; his friends

nothing's happened yet

it doesn't have to go this way

but ghost has been betrayed before. he knows the way this ends; either with him six feet under or his enemy

he doesn't hesitate

it's only when they knock alejandro out that soap shoots; when they spill the first blood and cross a line they can never come back from

only when ghost orders him to run and he has to cover his retreat

and somewhere along the line, between civilians’ screams and taunting voices, between his shaking breath and ghost steady in his ear, that naivety is stripped away; his trust turned to teeth that he uses to sink into throats of men he'd have given his life for

"be careful who you trust, sergeant; people you know can hurt you the most"

he's learned the price of trust

just like ghost did

but unlike ghost, he has someone to guide him through the aftermath

"good advice, It"

[cdyssey]

the eldest river in "the impossible astronaut" is always so fucking distressing to me in hindsight. the way she knows what's going to happen at lake silencio, but she can't say anything to the people she loves most. she constantly has to lie, always has to play pretend. spoilers. the fate of the entire universe depends on it.

and the doctor, her doctor, doesn't trust her because of it.

because of all the lies. because of what she has to do to necessarily protect them both.

how she has to revisit her ugly childhood and fractured youth and watch it from afar, incapable of helping that scared little girl in a spacesuit, the young woman submerged in the water.

and she watches her husband and parents, too—watches them watching her own making—and they don't even know it.

There's this exchange between her and her mother that becomes all the more harrowing when you realizing that she's talking about herself.

River: I know what you're thinking. Amy: No, you don't. River: You're thinking, "If we can find the spaceman in 1969 and neutralize it, then it won't be around in 2011 to kill the Doctor." Amy: Okay, lucky guess. River: It's only because I was thinking it, too.

and then there's the moment where she catches a glimpse of the Silence in the tunnels and all that pain and trauma comes rushing back to her in an sickening instant, and even when they disappear from her memory, that horror still lingers in her body, but she pretends to keep it together anyway for other people's sake anyway.

in those dark tunnels, she only allows herself five minutes to fall apart away from prying eyes.

and she would have gotten away with it, too, had her father not shown up. he's concerned—even though he doesn't know her very well yet—and he's there, and he's asking all the right questions.

Is she okay? what did she mean when said there's a worse day coming for her?

And River opens up to him in a way that we've rarely seen her do.

River: The trouble is, it's all back-to-front. My past is his future. We're traveling in opposite directions. Every time we meet, I know him more, he knows me less. I live for the days when I see him, but I know that every time I do, he'll be one step further away. And the day is coming when I'll look into that man's eyes, my Doctor, and he won't have the faintest idea who I am. And I think it's going to kill me. 

fucking gutting.

[bixels]

My recent insomnia thoughts have been thinking about GG20s stories of the Apple family and making myself really sad at 4AM.

[triglycercule]

can the mtt commit more crimes that just murder please i know theyre the MURDER time trio but ppppleasse,,,, please,,,,,,

they'd be terrible to be next to on the highway. horror's going 160 mph amd has long past gone over the speed limit. dust's out for BLOOD and by blood i mean your tires. he's somehow sniping those round rubber wheels from the high moving vehicle with the precision of a master fruit ninja player. if your car explodes or flips over in the process that's not his fault. and then to make matters worse for everyone on the highway killer's in the backseat scratching up the doors and windows of your car with a knife everytime horror gets close to another car and oops he accidentally just disfigured your face also did i mention theyre all drunk during this

ok so theyve all got the classic face WHY DONT THEY ABUSE IT!!!! horror gets to do a little paper mache to cover up his head hole and then wearing glasses. killer i dont know what the FUCK he can do to get rid of his perpetual tears but let's just pretend that theyre conveniently gone for now. and then all dust has to do is put down his hood! anyways identity theft is cool. imagine how much they could totally fuck up classic's reputation with this. set up fake tinder profiles and then scam people for their credit card info/free dates (while ordering every expensive thing) and stealing wallets. walking into various grillby's's around the multiverse and telling terrible jokes. like ACTUALLY bad jokes. and then of course just being a huge piece of shit at the bar. god theres so many things they could do pretending to be classic. which one of us is hikaru looking ahh except the only difference between the three is the color of the stains on their clothes (either gray (dust) black (killer) or red. well faded red (horror))

ROBBERY!!!! ROBBERIES PLURAL!!!??? train robbery gas station robbery bank robbery GOVERNMENT robbery (what would you rob the government for?? documents??? idk) anyways. mtt robbing a train except its just a really shitty plan and they dont know jackshit about what theyre doing. killer's taken over the conductor's cabin and now he is booking it. how fast are trains allowed to go idk but the maximum. anyways meanwhile horror's on the tracks fucking up the rails with his strength or whatever (listen i know he's weak but picking and choosing what hcs i believe in is my art) and dust is there to teleport him away before the train crashes into him and turns him into a trolley problem victim. and then of course that shit doesnt fucking work and the train just ends up flipping over and catching on fire or something (killer survives because of course he does he's killer). and then in the end dust just has to flip the entire train over and they just stroll into the part that actually HAS the money

and then they go out and get ice cream. sometimes the murderers need to take a break from murdering and just do NORMAL crime yk???

[dykedvonte]

wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment

Thank you and this is what I want to get across.

A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.

I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.

He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.

He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.

Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?

Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.

[bonefall]

one of the most frustrating things to me with the mapleshade/birchfall situation is its like. the only time since into the wild where the books acknowledge queens don't have to reveal the fathers of their litters. when mapleshade tells beetail (? the deputy whats-his-face) shell be raising the kittens alone, he accepts it without question. this implies her lying about birchface being the father was unnecessary, but in Bluestar’s prophecy everybody immediately assumes thrushpelt is the father the minute bluefur is known to be pregnant, and bluefur not correcting this is treated as a reasonable decision despite it being the SAME situation! it's just the authors want mapleshade to be unreasonable so this time it's bad actually.

The in-universe Queen's Rights are so poorly defined and utilized that the BB!Queen's Rights are essentially an entirely original framework. They sometimes exist in the books and sometimes don't, depending on if the writer remembers them or not.

They actually seem to not be a thing in Bluestar's Prophecy, from what I remember. Thrushpelt offers to be the pretend-father as a result.

It seems to have protected Fallowtail though, until Reedfeather decided to kidnap his kids.

Featherstorm's first litter, Raggedpelt and Scorchwind, are bullied for being fatherless and face constant speculation.

Same with Flintfang, Blackstar, and Fernshade. They're not even actually halfclan, Blackpaw holds his tongue and refuses to reveal the truth to stop bullies.

Brokenstar faces open bullying from his adopted siblings for not knowing who his mother is (but also he stops Yellowfang from telling Lizardstripe about it because he overheard a conversation where she told her friend she feels like the baby is stealing milk)

StarClan pushed for Squilf to lie to Brambleclaw for this reason, because they assumed (correctly) that having HalfClan suspicion would make it harder for The Three to be accepted into ThunderClan

So if a queen has "a right" to not reveal parents, it's not very protective. Your kids are going to face bullying and discrimination regardless of how loyal you actually are, or who the dad is.

But yeah suuuure Mapleshade was evil and horrible for not correcting Frecklewish. I can totally accept that in this completely arbitrary situation that somehow it would have turned out better if she told her No and left the whole Clan speculating.

[slightlyunconventional]

someone with a cold being at work all day and their symptoms have been simply a stuffy nose and an annoying amount of sneezing - so they think it's not too bad, until they get home and it feels like they've been hit by a freight train full of fever, headache, and fatigue all in one go

[renamusing]

Woke up in tears (of laughter because this is all too trashy to properly cry over) i mean can you imagine that phone call of victoria to robert in prison "Hey Rob, how are ya? Did you know I met another brother of ours? His name is John and he is the son of dad and Barbara. Also John is gay, can you believe that? Who would have thought, after all you went through, right? Maybe when you get out you two might bond over it? Except he is bonking off with Aaron now and that might become a problem. Yeah, your ex-husband, love of your life. Yeah, I told him how messed up it was and Aaron felt bad about it for a while. It was tough on him! Well, yes, not as tough as you being in prison so he could have a life, obvs. Still no word from Andy though, I'm thinking about sending him a carrier pigeon, do you think that might work? I just must tell him about John!"

[luck-of-the-drawings]

AHAHAHH FINALLY ANOTHER NEW DOODLE PAGE. A COLLAGE OF OLD DOODLES, NEW DOODLES, DOODLES WITH MINIMUM EFFORT, AND DOODLES WITH ALOOOT OF EFFORT. SOME DRAWN ONA TABLET, MOST ON A MOUSE, BEEN IN MY WIPS FOR AGES JUST TTAAAAAKKEE IT BRO I CANT LOOK AT IT ANYMORE. ANYWAY HHEEELLLOOOOOO CHIPS GROWTH OVER 100 EPISODES CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT?? BECAUSE I SURE WILL. IN MY TAGS.

[sideblogdotjpeg]

i am not immune to launchpad sol and albin thoughts

[zxal]

let's meet again

[skitskatdacat63]

I feel weirdly compelled by this

[ratatatastic]

"Now the Oilers take away, Skinner's to centre, hit by Kulikov. Oh! And then a big hit by Gadjovich!" "And they go after him..." "Yeah, action between the benches! Play continues. Luostarinen the feed! Here's Lundell! In front, Mikkola scores! It's Niko Mikkola to tie the game at 4!" "Well, the Oilers were too preoccupied, between the benches there was a Players' Association meeting. And meanwhile the Panthers got control of the puck in the offensive zone and some nifty passing and timely play by Mikkola coming in! Here's the hit on Skinner, and then the Oilers decide, 'Oh! We're gonna go after Gadjovich!' And meantime the Panthers—Luostarinen, Lundell—and he just feathers this puck. Look at Lundell, the backhand and timed perfectly, and Mikkola. As I said Skinner will go down and get that puck over top of him. And we got a tie game." "Lundell, second assist—primary on the last two goals. The Panthers have battled back after Oilers got three [goals] in a row to go up a pair there in the second [period.]"

"Here's a chance. Mikkola scores! Niko Mikkola gets the goal—13:07 left to go in this third period—as he sneaks in and Mikkola has tied it!" "Well, everything is happening in front of the benches and play kinda stopped. A lot of the Oilers get involved, but play continues on. As this is going on right in front, Skinner upset, the puck's gonna go in the Edmonton zone and it's Bouchard, good pressure, the turnover. And how about this play by Lundell to Mikkola? And no mistake! Mikkola, his third. Great patience by Lundell, face the defender down and finds Mikkola."

florida panthers @ edmonton oilers | 12.16.24 (x)(x)(x)(x)

[adaedellta]

I just did a bit of googling and would like to make everyone share in what I’ve just found: Julie Molina, based on a rough timeline would’ve turned 15 soon after her mom died, quinceaneras are held at 15. And based on some really quick research, a celebration meant to signify a girl coming into herself as a woman, and wouldn’t that have been such a punch in the gut right after her mothers death it’s likely she just skipped it altogether

[stygianoaths]

Luke Castellan and his team of godkillers but they don't kill with weapons stained with ichor, but with the illusive Mist that warps the mind of mortals so easily, it shakes their faith.

In eons past, these mortals revered the Olympians with offerings and prayers daily, told their stories that inspired fear and awe all the same. It was something the pantheon had gotten hooked on, something more addicting than the ambrosia and nectar the texts had waxed poetry over. And the council of twelve did their damn best to keep it around. After all, there was no other high out there that can compare to the feeling of being in control, of being powerful.

But like any high, it wears off, sooner or later.

So that's exactly what happens.

Alabaster C. Torrington, with the help of Dr. Claymore, "discovers" new texts that discuss Greek gods that have never been heard of before; gods who are kinder, wiser, more trustworthy, than the ones everyone has come to know in this era.

It's interesting, how the origins of these gods and their lives seem to have no relevance or connection to the other pantheon and its history. No Titanomachy or Gigantomachy to speak of. There are a few parallels, but they are pleasant, like the love stories of Dionysus and Ariadne or Pygmalion and Galatea. Otherwise, it's like an alternate timeline of its own, where every god present is named a god for a reason.

It's fake.

But the mortals don't need to know that. For what's false, if persisted in, would become true anyways. Furthermore, it isn't like a new pantheon will harm any of them. The lucky ones with clear sight may win the heart of a deity who would actually see them beyond their fleeting mortality, who would care for them.

It takes a while, though, for the mortals to adjust to this suddenly newfound information. They are stubborn creatures, Luke knows, who tend to fear the unknown and new. Yet the youth crave it like bears after a beehive laden with honey. With time, they'll come around, he knows. Maybe he might not be there to see if the plans work out for himself, but someone would, and that's all that matters to him. He just needed to be the one to start the movement.

Luckily for him, he doesn't have to wait too long.

The faith spreads through idealized modernized takes on the mythology, as silly as it sounds. It's very of the era, isn't it? Books are being published on these gods who endure hardships and come out irrevocably changed but for the better. Ethan flips through one by an author under the pen name S.J and devours it in three hours. It reads nicely and he wonders when he'll get a chance to meet the main character of the story, and ask her if the myth holds true. It is, obviously, but it's different hearing it from a god. The fanfictions are even better, but Lou Ellen Blackstone gets drowned out by Alabaster's "lalalalala" before she can start talking about the recent one that was updated a few hours ago. Eh, so what if it's a little spicy?

Nonetheless, the new band of believers grows, and it's like a sucker punch to the gut for the Greek pantheon.

Apollo comes to camp and drops to his knees before his own cabin, surprising the campers. He looks terrible. Dionysus had already looked miserable, but the children attributed that to his sour personality. And, as usual, no one noticed the girl by the hearth who had disappeared weeks ago. But Apollo, golden boy Apollo, well, he has eyes that are sunken and sickly yellow, matted hair, muscles shrunk, and hands that shake as if they are beyond his control.

"They're killing us," he whispers to Lee Fletcher, "all of us."

"What do you want us to do?" Lee asks. Apollo coughs into his fist and looks down to see a smear of gold staining it.

A nosebleed. Gods don't get nosebleeds.

His children, gods bless them, are trying to heal him, but to no avail. It's kind of funny, how on any other occasion, such an act would have been annoying. If the solution was to simply heal, don't you think he would have tried that? But, weak as he was, he felt touched. Loved, even.

But love wasn't always enough to save another. He, of all gods, should know that.

"Can you write?" he asks. Lee scratches his head.

"Write?"

"Stories. Poems. Songs. Anything."

"Um, no, not really. Dyslexia kicks my ass, and you know archery is more my thing. But Will does sometimes. Healing is his forte, but I always see him writing something in a notebook, though that could just be medical notes, now that I think about it-"

Apollo disregards that last part and begs Will Solace to take up the pen and fight back. It's their last hope. If nothing is done, this camp and its children will become all that is left of the Greek Pantheon, for textbooks and website links are not enough to keep the faith going, especially if left to collect dust or rot in an archive.

"Write us new myths. Stories that can happen now, that we can make happen. Redeem us, so that we can live. We'll do it. We'll do any of it," Apollo begs.

"Anything?" Will asks. Apollo nods.

"Anything."

The Fates looked at each other from above. How time has changed. In the past, battles were fought with swords. Now, they had to be fought with words.