#when in the end they have the same issue and cannot save themselves from it

[gayfertilitygoddess]

[text in screenshot:

“Worldly people”, G. K. Chesterton mused, “never understand even the world; they rely altogether on a few cynical maxims which are not true.” And so it is for huge regions of the American ideological landscape when asked to explain the meteoric rise of Donald Trump in 2016, or his seemingly implausible return last week.

Far-left radicals, socialists, liberals, centrists, old-fashioned conservatives, academics, mainstream journalists, and everyone else who simply cannot imagine voting for the man themselves, all tend to default to one narrative: Many Americans are struggling economically, left behind, urgently wanting a more egalitarian society, and turned to a fascist movement in desperation. Bernie Sanders summed up this conventional wisdom succinctly; Democrats lost because they “abandoned the working class.”

Like many, Sanders had moved away from this narrative after 2016, and particularly after 2020, working closely with the Biden administration to pass the most economically progressive legislative agenda in two generations. During the same period, empirical research added its voice—study after study found ‘racial resentment’ a far bigger driver of support for Trump than ‘economic anxiety’. Neither Trump’s core support, nor the drift of formerly Democratic voters to him are well explained by economic desperation.

Like many cynical maxims that are not even true, it is kept aloft on a cloud of smaller, equally persistent, falsehoods. There is a trope that most Americans work ‘paycheck-to-paycheck’. They don’t. The median American has savings. Politicians on both the left and right love the rhetoric of Americans working multiple jobs to get by. In reality, less than 5% of the labour force does so (and that includes upper-class professionals like a lawyer who does consulting on the side).

Nor is it what voters themselves say: The average American thinks democrats are far too liberal. They see the party as to their left on both economic and social issues. Only 6% said they thought Harris was not liberal enough. This is not an electorate crying out for socialism, turning away from Democrats because they haven’t seized the means of production.

Finally, the narrative (hereafter called the ‘poverty narrative’) often assumes an outdated (and decidedly masculine) vision of a frustrated proletariat of laid off coal miners, quite at odds with the reality of life for most working Americans in the 21st century. The 23-year-old barista serving you coffee at Starbucks, who lives with roommates in a small apartment, who doesn’t have job security, or the ability to pursue her goals in life—she most likely did not vote for Trump. The electorate has undergone class realignment, but exit polls still show the lowest income Americans preferred Harris.

/end]

Pulling these later paragraphs out for emphasis:

As much as anything though, [the poverty narrative is] a morality play, one that emerges from our implicit frameworks and subconscious assumptions. Consider it in parallel to other explanations of the election: ‘it was a backlash to woke/cancel culture’; ‘young men are sick of feminism’, ‘the Democrats weren’t civil about Trump supporters’; and ‘Democrats shouldn’t have campaigned on trans rights.’ Notice that in all these narratives voters moving right are not granted any agency. They are just reacting to something liberals have done. As a result, liberals are implicitly assumed to bear responsibility for the outcome.

I call this ‘what did you say to make him hit you?’ politics. The implication is intentional: We tend to perceive both liberalism and the Democratic party as female-coded—the result of decades of heavily gendered use of language by conservatives. This filters into our assessment of moral responsibility (which is also gendered), in which we offer explanations for the bad behaviour of male-coded groups and shy away from direct condemnation. We are asked to ‘understand’ the perspective of those who shift to the right and cautioned against ‘dismissing’ them. Long narratives are concocted in which explanation fades into excuse.

[dazaisdearest]

hold up…..his writing is this fire????????

[fujosh1dreamer]

What's up with the shit takes I've been seeing for this episode.

Blitz and stolas both has trauma that they're trying to overcome. I don't know why people insist on ignoring stolas's trauma in favor of blitz and vice versa.

Stolas literally starts the ep off singing about his insecurities and how much he loves blitz. Singing about how he hopes blitz will stay with him. He's ignoring the problems he's having with the divorce and probably the potential custody battle. He's trying to make things right between him and blitz.

He sees himself as a monster because of the contract despite the fact that blitz showed up to his house with the intent to steal from him. No one wants to talk about that thou.

Then stolas talks about how being with blitz saved him from the chains of his status. Their relationship despite being built on a lie showed him that stolas can make choices in his own life. So now he wants to give blitz that choice too, and he hopes that blitz will choose him. Stolas truly thinks that blitz will respect him enough to consider an actual relationship despite his insecurities telling him otherwise.

Freezer meltdown.

Blitz and stolas know nothing about the others trauma or their triggers.

Stolas has the right to walk away from this conversation especially after what blitz jokingly said. He is not obligated to stay and take the verbal abuse that blitz throws at him. Stolas walks aways because blitz has seemingly given his answer he's upset and trying not to argue. He has lived in an abusive house hold for 17 years. He's triggered.

But blitz is triggered as well he has abandonment issues that he hasn't worked out yet. He's used to relationships going wrong and ending in a fight which is why he lashed out.

He needed a minute to process which is fine but that doesn't give him the right to lash out verbally to stolas who literally flinches when blitz yelled.

In my opinion stolas did a great job conveying his feelings which is difficult to do. I don't think he realized just how far on different pages they were when it comes to the relationship. Stolas believes they're already on the brink of being more, while blitz wants things to stay the same.

They both just think so lowly of themselves they cannot conceive the other truly loves them.

If one more person calls stolas a manipulator I'm gonna lose it.

[elmushterri]

2K followers on tumblr and 30K subscribers on YouTube! In celebration, here’s my story. Not a rewrite. This is all a work in progress and subject to change.

Being a HEMA fencer, I’ve wanted a story semi-based on actual swordsmanship and actual fencing techniques.. but fantasy.

It’s a story like… Spiderverse meets Steven Universe meets Owl House meets She-Ra.

It’s called

The Knight’s Handbook

——————

It’s modern Earth but there are supernatural people who protect it like guardian angels called Knights: Humans who’ve died via sacrificing themselves for someone else, and have been revived (not by choice). They protect humans from things as small as tripping over to protecting them from demons, dragons and other dangerous entities.

A Knight can pull their weapon from a magical, glowing scar called their Mortal Wound, the injury they acquired and a sign of the end of their mortality, like how SU Gems can pull their weapons from their gems. A Knight’s weapon can be anything including guns and crossbows, but these shoot magic/energy bullets or arrows.

Knights have their own realm to go to just for each other, (Gallantia) but can live on Earth hiding as normal humans if they wish (so long as they hide the magic scar!)

They function a bit like bees in that there is a Queen, chosen instantly when someone dies by sacrifice according to ‘qualifications of their soul’ (So not completely random like other Knights). Of course, this only happens when the former Queen is killed. Never have there been two Queen Knights at once, so written history goes. Like bees, that would create a huge issue!

Here is the main character and the main antagonist. For the first time apparently ever, there are Two Queen Knights. A mistake of nature, perhaps?

Sidra Saiffudeen

Our main enby is Sidra, she/they. A normal teen turned Queen Knight chosen right after her death, impaled through the chest (where you can see her Mortal Wound symbol) by saving her father. Her design is based on a bee! Not all Knights’ designs are, but I thought I’d lean into Queen Bee stuff.

She’s the ‘Acknowledged’ Queen. Most Knights, ones in support of the past Queen who just died (it’s a mournful period), back Sidra, but think she’s a bit immature. Sidra adores her new people though and vows to be a good Queen. Knight Queens don’t just sit back like Earth Royalty, they’re the most powerful and therefore in battle a lot. The past Queens tended to be adults (The Captain of the Royal Guard was in love with the past Queen (sapphics >:) ) and so having Sidra around is painful but they do their best to teach her.

Then there’s Juliana Fontana, always called Jules. She… is also a Queen Knight. You can tell this because a Queen’s mortal wound symbol is always the same as the Knight Symbol, a sword. Some Knights went traitor to back Jules rather than Sidra. Jules is a very very tired and sneaky girl, but more academically intelligent than Sidra. She’d be a very different Queen, and that’s why the Knights that took her side did so! She hasn’t figured out how to access her weapon or knight form.

The twist? They haven’t seen each other for a long long time… but Sidra and Jules know each other.

Info on Weapons, Mortal Wounds and Knight Forms.

Lastly, The Title’s “The Knight’s Handbook”… what are Knight Handbooks?

Well, for Knights, along with a weapon you can pull from your Mortal Wound, you also have your Handbook! Every Knight has a Handbook with their symbol on it. Like I said, Queen Knights don’t get their own unique personalised symbol, rather they get the default symbol representing all Knights as a species (unfortunate!).

Every Handbook is personalised except for the first couple pages and chapters. The first few pages *always* contain The Rules of Knighthood. One of which is that there Cannot Be Two Queens. But… have these Handbooks with their strict rules on who your friends and enemies are and what you can or cannot do always been a part of the Knights? Or did someone *write* these books for their own purposes? Control?

Handbooks also contain info on how to fight/fence, how to defeat certain entities, anatomy, etc (I’ll figure out more). But, Handbooks also serve as phones! You write something in your handbook for someone else and your writings will appear in *their* handbook! Not sure, but I imagine handbooks can also be used as little sketch hologram projectors (you sketch a map for example or a plan and project it into the air using your book.)

Sidra and Jules may have this giant plot going on around them because they happen to be Queens, but that doesn’t mean they’re not teenagers who want to have fun. A lot of Knights are kids and teenagers and still have their senses of fun, much to the dismay of the serious adult Knights. But they’re all immortal so they’ve got plenty of time to grow up before they hit an age to stop. Being a Knight is tough and scary cause you *could* die at any time in a fight, so adult Knights tend to protect the teens from going out before they’ve trained properly. Queens are not afforded such a luxury and besides, a lot of teen Knights are totally reckless regardless of what the adults say!

So yeah!

That’s an intro to The Knight’s Handbook. I’d love for people to join in like they did with GunnTech and make their own Knights for this, if you feel inspired. It’s kinda like a DTIYS but instead of Draw This In Your Style, it’s… Draw Your Sona for this concept? Working title… /j If you wanna do something, I suppose tag it with “The Knight’s Handbook” with the apostrophe and whatnot, but I do not expect anything, you guys already do so so much 🧡.

Any art or ocs of The Knight’s Handbook will definitely be featured on my next YT vid and I’ll be reblogging (Plus I would love to draw you guys’ ocs, and basically consider them canon since there’s an infinite number of Knights in TKH!)

Thank you for all your support, guys!

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

so i just found some old interviews of spop, especially ones after the finale, and i just wanted to dissect some of the interesting parts:

the crew themselves keep reinforcing the idea that only catra saw adora for who she is, when the show itself says otherwise multiple times. catra, who mocked adora for never being a true hero, who kept hurting adora because she resented her for being she-ra, who kept saying that adora has a hero complex and that she is full of herself. that catra “motivated and inspired” adora?

“i wanted their romance to be the central arc”

this explains everything. the fact that they took an existing show with an intriguing fantasy world and so much potential and then reduced it to “cute lesbians kiss haha”. if you're gonna write a show about romance, do that. you don't have to butcher an already existing series for that.

“it reveals how that arc has been built”

what arc? is the arc we're talking about in the same room as us? because from what i can see, they put in zero effort to make c//a's development even halfway coherent. catgirl tortures hero for four seasons, gets saved by said hero and joins the good guys, continues torturing hero. how is that an arc?

so.. they have the right idea here. catra and adora did indeed need to take their time away from each other and deal with their problems. but did they? adora came close to building her self-esteem and realizing that she didn't have to take responsibility for everything around her. but then all that was reversed in s5 when she was forced into a relationship with the same person who ruined her sense of self-worth in the first place.

catra.. doesn't even try. the closest she got to moving on from her past was during her time in the crimson waste but then she ends up spiralling even deeper into toxicity, adding more and more into her list of crimes. in s5, she is shown to reflect on her relationship with adora but does she learn anything from it? nope. she continues abusing and berating adora, she continues giving adora mixed signals and relying on adora to do all the work in the relationship.

so the crew seemingly had the right idea (although i'd say they still shouldn't get into a relationship, even after they've worked on their issues) but never followed through. instead they gave us a lazy and rushed redemption, where the wrongdoer never works on their flaws and instead puts all the blame on their partner. amazing.

so nate himself admits that not all of catra's actions were justified. but then, why does the show try to justify them? why does the show justify catra abusing adora by implying that it's because adora abandoned her? why does the show justify all of catra's toxic and abusive behaviour by blaming it solely on shadow weaver? if catra's actions cannot be justified, the narrative should keep her accountable, which they don't.

secondly, i'll try not to assume the worst of nate's personality from what he said, and just get to the important part.

“It's other people's decision to forgive you, that's not a given, but also there are ways for you to fix what's broken. You have to work hard to prove yourself again, you have to actually actively fix what's done, it's not as simple as a sacrifice.”

i'm so confused. the way nate says it, you'd think he applied all of this to catra's arc. but he didn't. “it's not as simple as a sacrifice” but a sacrifice was all it took for catra to be forgiven by her victims. she doesn't work on herself, her apologies were shallow, and she continues repeating the same mistakes. “it's other people's decision to forgive you” yet every single character forgives catra immediately and none of them are allowed to stay mad at her.

how could you write such a bad redemption and then talk about it as if it had all the details and nuance it was lacking? again, when speaking, nate seems to have the right idea of how to write a redemption arc. why did they fumble so badly when it came to actually executing it in the story? the only answer i can think of is that none of the writers in the crew are good at writing.

[monetsway]

Generational Detriment

If you enable your children, you might as well abuse them. No…not literally abuse these gifts to our bloodline but this is what I mean. When we sit up here and save our loved ones from hardships, we’re tearing them away from valuable lessons they need to be successful. We are saving them from wisdom they can pass down. And well…we’re saving them from karma that they may have gained by moving in a way that doesn’t reflect their highest self.

Some people may disagree and that’s fine but the proof is in the pudding. Usually people, no matter the financial class, who enable their children are setting them up for failure. Because these same children will grow up and become adults that believe every issue in life is going to break them. That every other authority figure or rule must cave into what they desire. The same individuals who will grow to believe honest people are not good for them so they surround themselves with people who are dishonest. The truth repels them because they have been able to be saved through the lies for so long. Where there’s truth, the lie cannot survive. However, a lie thrives in comfortability. Truth is hidden in growth because without honesty, there will never be true growth internally.

Ever since I realized that successful people are people who don't give up after being told ‘no’ a thousand times, I’ve looked at the people who are always told yes. Let’s be real and realize, there’s a clear difference.

The entitlement alone that comes with somebody who always has another somebody that’s pulling them out of the holes they dug, is crazyyyy. You would think the people that have someone(s) looking out for them would be more intentional with gratitude but that couldn’t be further from the truth. But if I can be honest…it’s an attitude that can attach itself to anyone who refuses accountability.

Then soon enough, people like that will believe what they choose to believe because accountability makes them too uncomfortable in the fact that they play a role in the downfall of a situation.

Everyone makes mistakes. This is something everyone knows but only thinks about when they refuse to see the hand they played.

There’s power in reflecting and seeing where you went wrong. When you can pinpoint where YOU went wrong, you are able to avoid something crumbling before your eyes again. And there is where you will avoid doing that again so you don’t end up with dreadful results in the end.

My Granny always told me, ‘God ain’t gone ask you what the other person did. He’s going to ask YOU what you did.’.

I couldn’t agree more. Most of my anguish in life came from worrying about the way others treated me but 9/10 I gave them the handbook. But if you find yourself going down a familiar road of patterns that you aren’t happy with, it's time to look within yourself. Only you can control you; what everyone outside of you does, is completely out of your control. Nothing wrong with pointing out where you messed up at - if anything that makes you more relatable and teachable.

Being enabled does not make you teachable. In all honesty… you will never know everything. From the day you’re born to the day you pass away, you will always learn new information. What you decide to do with that information will decipher what your character is. As for me, you can learn alot about a person who thinks everyone else is the problem and I stay away from those types.

Cause ok…even if everyone else is the ‘problem’, why do you keep surrounding yourself with those types? Make it make sense.

[boimann]

i have some neurodivergent headcanons for the lads

Sniper is autistic

he has a cupple of special interests but his main one is survival

he has major light sensitivity issues and struggles with eye contact, his glasses help him not get overwhelmed and he rearly ever takes them off

he has a hard time showing emotions and he is VERY blunt

he goes non verbal frequently

Scout has adhd and dyslexia

time blindness the man

he has changed hobbie 17 times in the past week

he just follows the serotonin

what is impulse control???

reading is frustrating as hell because he will end up reading the same line 28 times and not even realize

he wears hand wraps because he balls his hands a bit too hard at times and ends up accidentally scratching his palms with his nails

he vocal stims

Soldier is also autistic

his special interest is 'MURICA BABYYY!!! (and war)

he has a very monotone voice and cannot control his tone of voice to save his life

he vocal stims a LOT

his helmet helps him not get visually overstimulated

deviations from his schedual will lead to you getting market gardened

every day he wakes up and rearranges his collection of heads based on the class order

Medic has chronic mania

what is impulse control 2: electric boogaloo

he has frequent hallucinations (he sees the hat man twice a day and they are very good friends)

archiemedes is his service dove and helps him come back to reality when his delusions get too intense

Pyro also has autism

they're mostly non verbal

he has really hard time understanding social ques

they hate being touched his suit helps them not get overstimulated

he has to have sound blasted in their ears 24/7 or he won't hear themselves think

he loves lying down on the floor with their flamethrower on top of them because the pressure is nice :)

[plslovemeforeverandever]

Dude you have no idea how thrilled I am to find another blog that appreciates the concept of a yandere solid snake as much as I do. Oh my God just imagine him and Liquid in a yandere rivalry over the same person-

Welcome to the tiny circle of hell @bweoo and i populate :3 (they made my pfp i love it soooo much mwah)

Not sure what took you to my blog since I'm a literal nobody, but thank you for asking! That Good Yandere Mg s content is in tragically short supply both here and on ao3, though what exists is pretty good.

(You can take my thoughts with a grain of salt since i haven't finished twin snakes yet hehe. Bweoo gave me that sweet infodump)

For Liquid and Solid, their issues comes from a conflict of perspective

As we've semi-established, Solid is an overprotective type yandere. The kind of man to lend a hand unprompted when needed- whether it be a ride home, a steady hand or a warm word.

(The kind of man who lights his cigarette under a streetlamp across the street from your appartment. Keeping an eye peeled. Just in case)

Overbearing, watchful, observant, in a way the average person could never comprehend. He's lucid enough to know his actions are strange - swiping clothes from your beloved's laundry bin is hardly normal- but he cannot for the life of him pull away, helpless to escape their orbit.

Despite these acts, Snake's desperate to preserve a sense of normalcy.

His end goal is ensuring his beloved's happiness + wellbeing no matter the cost to his mind, body, and sanity. And if those costs are paid by other people uninvolved in his balancing act...no one (especially not you) needs to know

At the end of another mission, tossing and turning alone in his quarters, Solid yearns for your warm warm hands.

Liquid however, is a whole other can of crazy. A churning sea riddled with insecurity, daddy issues, and zero impulse control wrapped up in a set of chiseled abs

Where Solid is "selfess," Liquid is greedy. Where Solid is stable, Liquid is erratic. He demands every iota of your attention while denying he wants it.

Don't be fooled by his british rage, Liquid craves validation like a flame craves oxygen. He needs the addictive high of your eyes on him. Only him.

He's your world entire, after all (as you are his).

Why would your pretty little head think it needed anyone else?

Unfortunately, Liquid does not take to anyone breaking this illusion. As shown by canon, he deems violence an appropriate problem solving skill. Just last week he jammed his thumb in agent's eye socket for "flirting" (read: asking your name)n. After that, no one breathed a word in your direction.

While he's never turned that blazing heat of hatred on you, it's only a matter of time. A stray glance here or a head tilt there and his beloved might find themselves in hot water with their big bad terrorist 'lover.'

(He's not all bad, not all the time. Not in the dead of night, his arms wrapped around your smaller frame so tight you feared fusing into a single being.)

Ok I went off too long . Anyway...

Solid and Liquid's rivalry/relationship is already tumultuous, but add a common obsession to the mix and their fight would reach a fever pitch.

Solid's careful meticulous planning all goes out the window when Liquid snatches you from the compound. He sees no problem in taking - id might as well be his middle name- and claiming the ultimate prize.

Solid panics -> rushes off to save them -> spirits them from Liquid's maniacally laughing arms -> Liquid devises a way to strike back in rage -> and so on and so forth until one of them explodes.

Not to mention a good chunk of Liquid's insecurity stems from being the "inferior" twin. Losing his partner to Solid is too crushing a blow, so he fights tooth and nail to bring s/o back. Even if he has to drag you kicking and screaming all the way to his base.

Snake wants a peaceful Alaskan retirement, while Liquid wants to set the world ablaze with his beloved by his side. Obviously these futures are not compatible.

Both have a vested interest in securing s/o to "protect" them from their twin. Both see themselves as s/o's ideal lover

As for who would win? While Liquid has boundless passion, Solid and his more lax demeanour might win s/o over.

It's up to you viewers! Stay tuned maybe for other things if you want.

I'm running out of steam

(Big boss is a whole other can of worms. To me. He is a fusion of both solid and liquids best/worst traits. The snake yandere gene is real)

Hope this helped (?) Somehow. Have a good day !!!

[voltstone]

okay can i say a thing about esther in fics

So, this isn't something I loathe, or take great issue with, or anything, since I understand why this character is the way she is in a lot of fics, or any fandom interpretation. A lot of times, in fandoms, characters will change roles depending on the fanwork context. So if you want to explore a specific type of abuse with Enid, obviously Esther is going to fit that role.

I also have a lot to say with Murray, but I'll cool off with that for now. However, a lot of the same applies.

Anyway, I...do wish there was more nuance to Esther within the fandom? Or a better appreciation as to why she is a problem. Especially since she's a direct foil to Morticia, because both mothers ultimately have the same issue, it's just Morticia handles it with grace, and Esther doesn't.

Esther is an overbearing mother.

That is emotional abuse, which often stems from a genuine care for the child, but through a very warped perception that is so because of insecurity and/or entitlement.

I get it. I get why she's written to be physically abusive in a lot of fics, or do other things. It's a way to tell the stories people want to write, and I can't say that I won't be responsible for that. For context, the project I'm working on now has a lot of medical abuse where...it's really, really bad. Far worse than what's presumably in the show. And it's something done out of insecurity.

...can't really be a good judge of what or how I handle her, since I'm the writer of that. But. Whatever.

The point is, as someone whose personal experience with maternal abuse was never a physical one, and was purely emotional/mental, it does feel like a lot of the fandom doesn't understand how devastating those are, and equates physical abuse as...the worst kind. When in reality, they're not comparable, and it ultimately depends on the people involved. Some people can better defend themselves against mental abuse over physical, others it's the opposite.

And then you just have the additional context. Like what...is actually happening.

It's an oversimplification that I think really misses the point in trying to analyze what the show tries to say about Esther and Enid. Enid is a people pleaser. Enid does want to please her mom, but she acknowledges and pushes back against the pressure she's been put in. Very emotionally intelligent in that regard, probably because she had to be. And because she physically cannot wolf-out for the bulk of the show, Enid chooses to prioritize another thing that her mom may like: finding a "mate", of sorts. With or without a possible issue in comphet, this may be why Enid is so overbearing with Ajax. Because she's trying to compensate for not being able to frolic in the forest, beneath a full moon, as a saber dog thing.

Meanwhile, Esther is overbearing...because she is also compensating for something. When Esther hands Enid the pamphlet for summer conversion camps, she says outright that a cousin of Enid's had the same problem.

This is a familial issue. And may be indicative of something genetic: the Sinclairs, for whatever reason, have a predisposition for late-blooming. And Esther doesn't like it. Maybe because she's a late-bloomer herself, or, she saw what happened in older generations and wants to "save" Enid from it. By doing things potentially just as bad.

And she foils Morticia because Enid is not like her. The same way that Wednesday is not like Morticia. There's friction of interests. There's friction in communication, and in how to articulate love for each other.

However, Morticia actually accepts Wednesday. She doesn't understand her, but she tries. She leaves Thing to watch over her. Leaves the crystal ball. And leaves the necklace that Wednesday wears, because rather than physical touch, she doesn't mind the touch of cold obsidian. Ergo, by the time of season's end, Wednesday understands better how to communicate with her mother because her mother understands how to show her love. So she lets Morticia...kinda sorta embrace.

Esther meanwhile cannot get through to Enid because...she does not restrain herself. She's overbearing because she's being overruled by insecurity, and perhaps entitlement. There is an interesting implication with her wearing a wool vest--making her a literal wolf in sheep's clothing--, and that brings another layer of nuance.

And that's what...I really just want. I want more nuance and complexities than just "Esther evil. Esther hit Enid. Esther sell Enid off to be omega whore, or something."

So. Yeah.

I'mma go back to writing.

[yvtro]

Jason was Red Robin in countdown right? I keep hearing about weird but okay development through that event. What do you think about his countdown progression?

 i moved to @boyfridged. i still post countdown meta there sometimes:)

the thing about countdown is that at first glance, it’s not great characterisation. it comes from the same era as atrocities such as brothers in blood or the battle for the cowl, and it is often dismissed by association. and i have to admit, there are some aspects to how jay's personality is written there that unnerve me. it has ups and downs, which for the most part reflect jay’s own inner conflicts. but overall? this is one of the greatest progressions we’ve got in jay’s storyline, ever. there's only one arc that i genuinely despise, and even then there's plenty of potential. let me get into it. -> full analysis under the cut. (i don't provide with a full summary, but rather go through notable storylines and moments)

countdown #51

let's start from the very beginning, when duela poses the question (as seen above): "who exactly are you? how does jason todd fit into the grand comics scheme of things?" i think it's salient, since it implies that the writers actually had to ask this question themselves. they care about jason's place in-universe, as much as they care about it in the wider narrative. and you know what, that's a low bar, but most dc writers don't seem to consider these things *at all* when they approach writing a new character. 

following from there, it should not be surprising that the whole progression even in this first issue is utterly fascinating and very well thought through.

here we see jason saying that he is "not too tolerant of gun-wielding crazies [himself]". this is notable because at the time jason is mostly established as... a gun-wielding crazy himself. as much as i hate it, this is the same timeline in which jason is briefly portrayed as a psychotic villain. other characters, not in an overly sensitive way, call him epithets such as deranged. but here we see, obviously, that jason doesn't perceive himself as such. 

we also get a glimpse at the discordance between his beliefs, actions and emotional response; duela wants to kill someone; jay in reply emphasises that an "innocent life" cannot be sacrificed just to make a point about someone's identity. he follows her to fight her, but instead ends up trying to save her in an encounter with a monitor, and seems at least shocked (and at most shaken, hard to tell with the hood) when he does not manage to.

I just want to once again stress that it’s so delightful how evident it is that his "moral code" is all hazy and a bit hypocritical. the progression of all things he says and does is so irrational that it’s thrilling.

enter monitor saying that "anomalies should be purged" – a parallel to jason's own philosophy about criminals. in a way, this is the first time when he is confronted with his own agenda about “purging” the world from evil to minimise harm. and  he intuitively disagrees with it! what really shines through here is that on some level, jason still believes in rehabilitation and the right to live. i will say it again and again and again, this is a boy who died trying to save someone who sold him out for torture. here's his great internal conflict, the tension between the intuitive belief in kindness vs trauma that made him want to detach himself from it and focus on retribution. 

teen titans (2003) #47

in an encounter with dick and tim jay is accused on killing duela. he tells them that he tried to save her, and donna stands in his defence, saying that she saw him at duela’s funeral. this is a really significant set-up.

countdown #50

the issue contains a narrative about jason that brings in some of his worst appearances from the timeline and based on that calls him “unpredictable” – a characterisation that i’m not a fan of, but then again, it’s 2007; the editorial board cared a bit more about the integrity of characterisation, thus i can’t exactly be mad that they mention it.

but what this issue does is acknowledging that jason is not just some unstable villain. “jason todd… to say he’s complicated is an understatement.” <- containing multitudes etc. "i’ve been around plenty of metahumans, aliens, new gods and vigilantes over the years… i’ve met batman loads of times and believe me, he’s plenty scary. but jason… he’s a lot like batman, but he’s willing to do what batman never would. he’s willing to kill.” <- one of the first of many comparisons of jay and bruce in the series. i do eat them up.

countdown #48 – duela's funeral.

“all right… after she died, it got me thinking about what that alien said… about how duels wasn’t even supposed to be in this reality in the first place, you know? and neither am i… […] and then there’s you, donna… […] i guess I just wanted to be around someone else who might know how it feels… to be living on borrowed time” 

jason says what he probably has been thinking all that time out loud (regarding the fact that he does not belong in this reality; he’s supposed to be dead), and it makes sense that he says it now, with the impending feeling of doom. 

he seeks out someone. he recognises that there are other people in this world that have experiences that are of semblance to his own ones, and that he does not have to be completely isolated. this is character development, and I’m not saying it to be funny; i’m saying it to highlight the fact that in lord’s year 2007, dc editors and writers decided that jason was allowed to seek emotional closure in a healthy manner. it might be slightly underwritten (for it to be truly interesting we would need a longer progression) but the circumstances make it plausible enough.

countdown #46

i just want to highlight this panel. i wrote more about it here.

countdown #33

“i’ve got no problem with kyle. he’s great. he’s dreamy” (a honorary mention)

countdown #43

 - here, jason suggests that they should get help of other heroes in trying to tackle the crisis. this is an intriguing progression, which might seem random for jason, but it really shows that the writers did their homework and read at least the new teen titans, wherein robin jason was responsible and reasonable enough not to overestimate his own abilities in the field.  

countdown #30

the challengers travels to earth-15, one where donna is a wonder woman and jason is batman. this is one of my favourite issues, for several reasons: 

–> a striking similarity between bruce and jason, that really shines through when jay is wearing a cowl. i briefly talk about earth-15 jay here.

–> jason fighting himself. literally. internal conflict externalised! it is clear that earth-15 jay views earth prime jay as immature, but he’s also not an adult enough to refrain from fighting back. 

-> this is the first earth were jason is confronted with a world that could be. i believe that before that, jason perceived his trauma and becoming red hood as fate. seeing a version of himself that is batman? this shows that his identity is not set in stone. he's forced to face the fact that he can become someone else.

the all new atom #14

a mild and frustrating setback in characterisation, whereas jason hits before he asks questions. i am more frustrated by how stupid it was rather than the violence itself.

more importantly (although not impactful nor related to anything at all!) we get to see an echo of jay’s soul that was left in heaven. 

countdown #27 – #26 

jason pretends to betray the team which prompts further in-fighting. i like how donna in anger almost calls him “red hood” but switches to “todd.” it’s a reference to the fact that jason is not using the rh identity anymore, even if it’s not a fully realised decision yet.

countdown #16 - #13

perhaps my favourite storyline. setting: earth 51.

-> “isn’t that your super-power, stupid boy? too stupid to ever give up?” “maybe it is.” <- an element of characterisation that i thoroughly appreciate. more on it here.

->  #15 jason meets this earth’s batman and learns that he killed the joker after his [or rather, robin jason’s of this universe] death. bruce’s actions mirror that of red hood jason – bruce went on to eradicate the whole gotham rogues. this is an issue in which jay perhaps comes to a realisation that he should be careful what he wishes for; he is utterly disappointed in this version of bruce. a more detailed post on it here.

-> #14: red robin intro. red robin is an id that bruce of earth 51 devised with thought of his jay growing up and moving on to another title. (it doesn’t really make sense, does it) bruce sees himself in jason and tells him to “gear up” as he will help in the field.

 -> now, i don’t like the concept of jason keeping the red robin title past countdown, but as a brief episode in his development? this is excellent. jason gets to experience working with bruce as a (sort of) sidekick one more time. maybe this is what he needs to move on. to briefly feel comfortable in the role that he grew to despise, the past self that he tried to bury. to hear batman call him “chum” one more time and nudge “you used to crack jokes at moments like this!” before he can leave this life behind. to come to accept it as a formative experience.

-> #13 earth-51 batman dies. genuinely one of the most harrowing moments in the series. i must say that i wonder if jason is agonizing more over the fact that it was a fnale to such a short-lived partnership that mirrored his past, or if maybe he feels responsible for what happened to this bruce (as bruce went out to fight inspired by him.) or maybe both?

countdown #11 - #4

jason decides that he is done with the whole affair and leaves the team in hopes of going back to the home earth on his own (they follow him). in the process, he tries to help some people in fight, but quickly decides he doesn't actually care (allowing them to die), and in #4, when they are getting ready for the final confrontation with the enemy, he tells the challengers from beyond to fuck off, and leaves saying something as cheesy as "see you suckers!"

i will be honest with you, i really don't know what to think about the progression in these issues. on the one hand, i am a fan of the idea that bruce's death would send jason into a frenzy. he was the one who gave earth-51 bruce sudden faith into vigilantism, and batman ended up dead. this might, for jay, be a final straw, where he decides that his (murderous) optimism and stubborness is a mistake. on the other hand, i believe even with that happening, with the way his development is set up, you would think he should go out from this internal conflict victorious.

countdown #1

some more elucidated thoughts on the ending here.

jason has an internal monologue about how the capes are "crazy," and how he is not "crazy" etc etc. again, this could be interesting in the sense that seeing batman murdered was a traumatic experience for him. in a way, he is trying to isolate himself from the concept of heroism, because it does reflect his own values (strong will and hope), but these values are the very same ones that got him (and earth-51 bruce) killed.

on the other hand, we see him without a mask and interrogating (torturing?) someone. which brings in some questions regarding what his idea of starting a new life is. because it doesn't seem promising. either for himself or anyone else.

so, the conclusion seems like negative character development rather positive one, yet, there's still plenty potential. the most notable element of it is that now jason appears to consider vigilantism as a whole as victimising (although this is not what he would call it, probably), and he takes off the mask. nonetheless, it also seems that he proceeds to do... the very same thing he has done before? (there is some space for interpretation regarding what the interrogation is about. is he working a case? he's seeking information, so it does seem so). this all, in a way, shows that jason doesn't understand the dichotomy of the civilian vs vigilante identity. he's still not able to abandon the field. and maybe this set up is just perfect for him to realise that the problem is not about whether he's wearing a domino or not, or if he isolates himself from the community – because either way, he's still trying to do the same thing as they do. either way, he's still trying to save the world. either way, he still is similar to bruce, who, as he says is "one step from craziness."

the potential of the ending is such that jason ends up in an interesting grey zone wherein he doesn't have any identity whatsoever (he's still legally dead!), and seems to want to keep it this way, which is honestly a fascinating concept. this is even more mind-boggling when you consider that the got all of these multiverse encounters that arrange for development in the opposite direction. and in my mind, if at that point his character were to be taken over by a talented writer, they could still capitalise on all of these elements. in that moment, jason still hasn't truly processed what happened in the past months, and is blinded by grief and repressing it alike. but in the course of trying to work as a... non-entity without either civilian nor vigilante identity, he could realise that it doesn't fix anything, because what all of it is about is himself and how he copes with loss.

countdown presents: the search of ray palmer

for the sake of brevity: mostly truly excellent material, brilliant team interactions. chronogically, it is set somewhere around issue 30-20 probably, but can be read independently.

what i want to highlight is how it emphasises jason's love for gotham, but also how in gotham by gaslight jay wonders if he could find his way back to this earth afterwards. i think more than anything else, it shows how much jason feels detached from the world, and how he craves a new start somewhere that is both familiar (gotham) but also different enough that he would not have to be confronted with his past there. it also makes me wonder if jay would want to stay on earth 51 if not for bruce's death there.

and that's the end of the analysis. to summarise: what makes countdown so exceptional is how earnestly it shows jason's internal conflicts and his process of perpetual repression and self-isolation. however, unlike the later books (up to today, really) it also pushes him in a new direction and establishes a ground for great character development.

edit: i have another long countdown meta post here.

[ishneak]

Athrun/Cagalli: Duty and the death of love vs. Love and the death of duty in Gundam

about two years ago, i had an in-depth discussion on Reddit on the relationship between Athrun and Cagalli and how much it mirrors Tristan and Isolde (or Game Of Thrones' Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen if you'd like but i was never too pleased with the execution of the eventual conclusion of that show). in fact a lot of themes appear to be lifted off Richard Wagner's works specifically the names of some weapons or items in SEED/CE but what seems to be the most apparent is the uncanny similarity of the predicament that the Red Knight of ZAFT and the Orb Princess find themselves in (you could argue Athrun is a kind of Prince being the son of former Chairman Zala) like Wagner's tragic lovers fated to be kept apart.

Cagalli needed to reject Athrun (and the free spirited galivanting with her rebellious TSA friends) so she could focus on the grown-up role as head of state of Orb. at the same time she probably did not want to give Athrun a reason to fall behind, allowing him room to grow into his own person and tie up whatever loose ends he needed in ZAFT/PLANTs. this is pretty admirable in an adult sense, they're both being very mature by not being too clingy or needy of each other, allowing personal growth and some degree of independence but hopefully not too much as Athrun has willingly showed that after he finished what he needed to do, he went back to Orb and potentially be by Cagalli's side.

Cagalli tried to not be too reliant on Athrun herself attempting to take on the external and internal issues within Orb and the Seirans all by herself, but as soon as Athrun left she was the most vulnerable (hence the photo for this post) from still feeling the reigns all by herself. good thing she still had her twin brother and his friends around to catch her fall and by the time she acquired Akatsuki and established a determined resolve on leading her nation, she knew how to stand on her own two feet. whether Athrun still has a place to be beside her remains to be seen, we'll have to see how much he can contribute as a commander/general (i'm really hazy with the ranks in Orb especially when the lore is a little inconsistent) of Orb along with the Freedom movie's revelation that he has been reassigned (or was it his decision?) to Terminal, a third party branch of the Orb Army out of a sense of duty for Orb or Cagalli.

ultimately Tristan and Isolde had a depressing ending (both lovers cannot get out of their social and moral structures, Tristan gave up romantic love for his love of duty to his king, Isolde likewise felt obligated to stay with her king for her family and country to keep people from dying, then he later died tragically before he could be reunited with Isolde) but hopefully Fukuda will stop with the association before it gets to that. some wonder who Cagalli will go for in a political marriage next, will she marry for love or duty? and could Athrun come into his own (be powerful and influential enough) just in time to fulfill both? besides the moral of Tristan and Isolde has been to pursue a love that preserves rather than destroys, celebrates rather than abolishes individuality and seeks life rather than death--themes that Cagalli were desperate to uphold, at one time saving Athrun's life with it. if we are really sure we love who we want to love, we have to get out of the structure and go and fight for that love.

SOURCES [1] [2] [3]

[alpaca-clouds]

Something I am thinking about a lot while I am in the hospital is how our measurements of expertise are bound so strongly to structures of power. This is not inherent to expertise - it is just how our current system handles things.

The fact that someone has a doctorate in a field of medicine does not inharently enable them on a reality level to actually treat someone, who is sick. It enables them to do so legally, yes, but not realistically.

As someone who has struggled with health related issues forever, I can tell so many stories of times, where it was not a doctor who helped me but some other person. There was a nurse once, who saved me from being poisoned by a doctor, because she realized - other than the doctor - that the doctor accidentally had prescribed me the wrong medication. And there was only two years a nurse in the psych hospital who fixed an issue with my knee that so far several different doctors had failed to fix.

Throughout my life I several times correctly diagnosed myself with medical conditions, after different doctors misdiagnosed me.

The same is happening right now as well. @g-vlssz and I correctly identified the issue plaguing me right now TWO FUCKING MONTHS ago, and my current deterioation in health could've been prevented if any of the multiple doctors who saw me during this time just gave me corticoids. But they didn't, because I do not have a medical degree. It took me six weeks to convince a doctor to just look into our suspicion - a test that any other doctor could have ordered as well.

And the only reason that nobody took it serious, despite me arguing on a medical level (like with blood lab results and stuff) why I was suspecting the thing I was suspecting. And the only reason why it was not taken seriously is, that I do not have a piece of paper by a medical institution that gives me the legal power to just prescribe myself the medication.

Self-Diagnosis is always this massively politically charged topic, especially when it comes to a plethora of disabilities. Not only will doctors often get really angry, when you bring the topic up, but a lot of non-doctors, who believe in the existing power structure will as well.

It is something that on some level does make sense intuitively. Like, sure, we do not want people to be able to prescribe themselves like morphines, I guess.

But a lot of talk also always centers around the fact, that a lot of people do simply fear cancer. So, when some varied symptoms show up, they often will jump to the conclusion of "OMG, it has to be cancer". But... like... You are aware that this happens mostly because those people end up often feeling neglected by their primary medical providers after like going to the doctor for their chronic stomach issues and do not get serious - or will not even get to see a doctor in months because the waiting lists are so long. Nobody WANTS to be sick with cancer - but if nobody looks into any causes, what information do have people to go on? It is simply a fact that cancer is one of those sicknesses with a lot of information available on it. So, when someone starts to google: "Chronic stomach ache cause" cancer will be one of the things that will come up.

I mean, the reason why both I and my friend were correctly able to identify my symptoms (not with the exact sickness but the correct type of sickness) was that I managed to get at least seen by doctors and get some blood work done - and that I simply went into it assuming that the various symptoms that showed up unrelated over the last year without a cause ever being found were connected. And one of the symptoms is something that basically only shows up with the type of sickness I have. No, I did not know that to begin with, but I googled it and other than what the anti-self-diagnosis crowd tells you, you can actually get pretty good information that way.

I have yesterday contacted a lawyer. I will talk to that lawyer later today. But I cannot help but think about not only how unfair this entire situation is to me (had the doctors given me corticoids 8 weeks ago, I never would have ended up in hospital), but also towards other people. Because right now there is a lot of healthcare money and man hours put into my case. Things that would be probably be better spend with someone, whose issue could not be fixed by just giving them a two weeks course of corticoids. Like, I am taking up room in this hospital for at least two more weeks, and by the end of it my health insurance will have paid between 30 and 40k for this. Simply because my GP was not available and nobody else would just give me the medication I needed?

[pea-brain]

first draft at some lore for kairi, full text below the cut. drawings same as the other post so i didnt bother to include close-ups

kairi was born to a village that, many, many generations ago steadily sent all their men to war. because of how isolated they were, the rest of the country forgot about them, neglecting to mention that the war had ended. none of their men returned (they were quite weak comparatively). years passed. the women (and children) left behind were made to survive a cold, harsh winter that lasted unseasonably long. they had lost a lot of their field workers and hunters, as it was a typical patriarchal set-up village. at one point, the villages priest-in-training was lost due to the village shrines giving nature, she had given all her provisions away. the people mourned greatly, and, eventually, consumed her to survive. with the loss of patriarchal figures the village turned to the priest as the sole leader. growing increasingly paranoid at the thought of her passing and all of them were still waiting for their men to return. this was compounded as the heir had been lost and the new children in training were still too young. they would be left with no one (this was, once again, a fiercely patriarchal society, and the women victim to it were unable to imagine themselves to be safe without direction). they turned to experimental medicine, as many had had the luxury of study with husbands who worked the fields. they dabbled in dark, retired things, and some things never before tried. eventually, using some pieces of the priest-in-training that had been preserved despite the starving (horns, some dried flesh, bones) they produced something that allowed the priest to live near twice as long as expected, giving enough time to train a new heir. 

this was not without consequences, bodies cannot survive that long, but as she slowly petrified she was still able to watch over the village, offering advice, and comfort, and, upon her passing, her body was used the same as her previous heir.

since then, recipes have been perfected, some women living for hundreds of years, and retaining bodily use into more than half way through careful care. there are some philosophers who argue that the careful care of the village is what allows the priest to live for so long, not what she is given from the previous priest, but this has gone untested. the village grew to observe a family-less society, where children had no parents and were raised by everyone. priests were able to provide great insight into issues as they had witnessed so many seasons and seen the same conflict over and over, like a living book. what ‘god’ the village originally worshipped was long lost, their ‘religion’ was the wisdom of cumulative knowledge and respect. patriarchy slowly fizzled down, remaining in labor division but only in a 2/3 to 1/3 split. the village does observe more than two gendered roles, and these are unattached to their job prospects. the only exception is a priest is always a woman. this has been questioned by men in the past, but ultimately respected. it is not an envied roll, its understood to be more of a curse. you do not get to live a life, you are the village. 

the village has observed some changes in features, tusks and horns have grown in length through generations, faces flatter, taller overall. the latter being a puzzling change for scholars of the village.

when a priest finally dies, her body is carefully consumed by all members of the village together, the horns saved for the new priest to continue the lineage. typically, if she is not yet of age, they will be saved until maturity (which has slowly increased over the years). occasionally, if a beloved member passes their body will too be consumed, beloved individuals bones are permissible to be made into jewellery or protective talasmans, decorations, hair woven into things. priests remains are kept at the temple, the first priest-in-training and her priest are displayed carefully for anyone to visit, and touch, if they feel moved to do so. priests are to stay at the temple as they are understood to be different to regular people, they are a part of the ‘spirit’ of the village and not to be hoarded. they are eaten together.

priests are still handy, aiding in catching and preparing of food until unable to do so. they are kept on smaller food rations than the rest of the village, restriction believing to elongate their lifespan due to cumulation of food over a lifetime. they often meditate to slow heart-rates / breathing and go without water for the same reason.

this continued until some crusaders found their way up the mountain. the village had managed to remained untouched for so long as it was a very snowy mountain top, with thin air (members of the village were more than accustomed to the cold and air), past an almost impossibly rocky area. upon discovering the village it was swiftly conquered. the people were ‘inbred’, their traditions were ‘barbaric and disgusting’, evidence of them (bones, paintings, books) were seized, smashed, burned, and many were killed, possibly including the current priest, but the priest-in-training was able to escape, kairi.

priest is a role saved exclusively for a woman chosen by the village adults unanimously, it is not a birthright, and is typically found from a younger age towards early teens. it is a role a woman can reject, but not many have. kairi is the first on record to have been chosen despite having a disparate birth sex. (there was possibly one many generations ago, scholars debate, but it is hard to discern from texts left behind (they wrote down very little at the time)) she was made to leave before her current priest was able to pass on naturally, and was thus unable to engage in her own ceremony. she is left half-trained and unsure of how long she will live.

priests are to pull their tusks from their time of being chosen until their death (they continuously re-grow, when they become immobile members of the village pull them on the priests behalf) and to keep their hair long, both are used to make talismans. kairi cut her own hair and horns in an attempt to be less conspicuous after escaping, she is in hiding but next to no one knows of her. this place was not widely reported on despite its ‘weird rituals’. she continues to pull her tusks. 

she wants to find her priest and living members of the village, but doesn’t know if anyone exists still.

[paris-in-space]

I need to get the thoughts I’m having about Doctor who out because if they just stay circulating my head I don’t know if I’ll be able to get to sleep it’s been 2 hours and I’m tired but my brain is refusing to shut down.

So, Dot and Bubble spoilers beware. Also these thoughts will be in the order I think of putting them down not in the chronology of the episode.

Weird place to start but one thing I got caught up on was the style of makeup that the majority of finetime characters had, like it was heavy and unflattering but in a way that seemed like maybe they were trying to go for a more natural look. And I’m sure there is something to be taken from this about the way people present themselves online but I’m too tired to do proper analysis it just struck me early on that I didn’t like the makeup. (It did feel fitting though)

I literally went “OH SHES BEING RACIST” out loud at the end. I do admit that although I did notice the weird vibes in Lindy’s responses to the doctor I didn’t pick up the exact meaning until that last scene, but then so many things clicked into place and made sense once I understood that fully. Like when she responded badly to the doctor appearing on the screen a second time I took it as irritation at his persistence, didn’t even think for a second that she didn’t realise it was the same guy.

Lindy deserves to get eaten by a slug.

Ricky September you deserve so much better.

(Not going to lie I didn’t think he was as attractive as everyone was making him out to be no offence to the actor I think it was a case of the weird makeup strikes again)

The lack of human connection is another thing that really stood out. This is the second episode this series to feature the concept of people never being hugged, albeit in different contexts. Just everyone being so focused in on themselves that basic human connection isn’t present in their society is such a sad thought, no wonder it turns out people like Lindy with no value for the lives of others and understanding of cultural differences if she has no meaningful relationships in her life at all. Just. Hug your friends guys (as long as they’re comfortable with it I know some people struggle with being touched)

The Doctor failing is such a rare thing, like of course there are tons of occasions where the Doctor can’t save everyone but they always try and almost always save at least someone. But these people cannot be saved, and it’s not the slugs that they can’t be saved from, it’s themselves. I think the lack of explanation into the detail of what actually was going on ties into this, because this time the Doctor doesn’t get to do a little “Here’s what’s been going down I saved you look how clever I am!” Because even the Doctor, the most caring wonderful being in the universe can’t save people who refuse to change and accept his help just because he’s different. The unfinished downer feeling feels totally intentional. Like, these people suck, the Doctor doesn’t get to experience a conclusive win, so neither do we as the audience.

The fact that this episode took place in the future too, they really said, just because time passes and things look like they’ve developed, societal issues have not disappeared and are still prevalent (I am white just so you know that’s the perspective I’m coming from) I think it’s a much more powerful way to address racism by putting it in a future setting than in the past. It’s very easy with historical settings to look at a piece of media and be like okay so the racism is awful but that is how it was, it’s uncomfortable but we can sort of look around it because everyone was doing it back then. But you put it in the future and you can’t look around it anymore because it should not be happening, should no longer be culturally acceptable. I’m struggling to put into words exactly what I mean, but it’s the difference between oh times were different back then it sucks but that’s how it was and times are not that different there’s still a massive issue to address here we can’t just sweep it under the rug of the past if we actually want things to be fair for everybody. It definitely made me think a lot more than a similar situation in a historical setting probably would have (not that that wouldn’t make me think but this has more impact)

On a more lighthearted note, the Dot flying around reminded me of the baubles from Runaway Bride. This is Doctor Who you cannot escape the floating balls.

Ruby doing the hair tuck seeing Ricky… she’s so real for that.

Overall I really love the concept of everyone so caught up in their own little world that they fail to see the horrors right before them. And it all comes back to the importance of human connection and understanding.

This has got to be the most thought provoking episode in a long time, and I’m sure there’s more thoughts I’ve had that I’ve forgotten to mention here.

[randomfanner]

I got tagged by @nyda-the-tav

TavTash Tag Game

@bearhugsandshrugs post about the very small TavTash community inspired me to make this: I want to learn more about you and your Tavs!

Tell us a bit about your Tav!  Anya is a half elf, college of lore bard (though she wanted to be a wizard) who worked at the Golden Eye Tavern for several years under her 'father' Otus(who is actually a devil named Plutus in disguise, running the tavern to attract souls and debtors). She worked as a porter and server Here is a picture, she only has art because she is chubby and I don't have BG3 on PC and her look in game isn't CLOSE (Enver made her cloak)

What alignment is your Tav? How does that align or clash with Gortash? Do they agree with him morally? She is Neutral Good and they argue a l o t. Gortash thinks he can sway her from good at first though and he is proven very, very, very, wrong

What God does your Tav follow? Is Gortash's position as Bane's chosen an issue?  Anya was raised by Ace, a aasimar son of Zeus with so many daddy issues and general dislike for the gods, and that kind of rubbed off on her(this adventure is proving that more and more). BUT, she hopes that Selune will take her soul for you know, saving her kid, killing Ketheric a traitor and saving Shadowheart. So it doesn't really come up. Anya is vaguely curious for more info but the more she learns the more she thinks she is justified in not- Granted Gortash being the chosen of Bane causes a lot of troubles for HIM and having feelings.

What did your Tav think of Gortash when they first met? Did they take his offer of an alliance?  Depends on what instance they first meet, because when they were children Anya was quite excited to bother him when he was working on inventions, and bringing him food. When they are adults she isn't exactly the most trusting of him, but does accept an altered version of the alliance, she will get the nether stone from Orin and then, after they know the Netherbrain won't be an issue, they can kill each other.

How did Gortash and your Tav get together? What do they see in each other?  Gortash was lonely, he would never call it that but he really, really missed my Durge: Calax. He figured that he just needed to make a new alliance with someone who had recently proven themselves of being capable. Perhaps needed to be... persuaded to see the right way of things, he knew she was still quite naive to the world, but perhaps was opening her eyes. So he made a deal with Anya that he would give her one thing of her choosing(to which she asked him to make Karlach a new heart) in exchange for her keeping him company. Eventually, after learning Enver was her childhood friend(because he did not look the same age as her, even if he is a human), she figured she would give a shot of actually being his friend. She also had to admire his intelligence, inventions and earnestly enjoyed his company. For Gortash, meanwhile, he cannot figure out WHY he likes her at all, and it is because she cares about him and can read him. Which he does hate sooooo much.

What does the future hold for your Tav and Gortash? Are they in a relationship, a one time thing, are they going to rule the sword coast together or kill each other in a tragic showdown? ... Ok so realistically, kill each other in a tragic showdown but the Author is a slut for happy endings even when they aren't deserved. So Gortash accidentally kills Anya before the fight, has to deal with a boat load of emotions... only to realize Anya was brought back from the dead later. And that is when he realizes that he isn't going to be able to go through with killing her intentionally- which he fucking hates for every single reason he would hate that... so he reluctantly steps down, Anya wins a bet to get Bane to let Enver free, and he gets sentenced to be the city's maintenance guy until he dies. Which he isn't happy about, vocally so- but he does eventually come to find some satstifcation in it. They also end up having three kids, Callie, Dante(Adopted) and Prometheus.

@bg3-stole-my-soul now you have to talk about Kieran

[thelavendercatalogue]

@dagmartoons here ya go :D _ _ _

The leg has always been their worry. . .the broken hip, busted knee, possible broken femur from his leg getting crushed in the car. Femurs are hard things to break. Their also the most at risk when they break due to potential issues that can occur with to all the major blood vessels and muscle networks and nerves and such. The leg had always been their worry, always been the main goal to save cause god forbid Lupin loose it and really have his life screwed up. . .Jigen can deal with rehabilitation, but he cannot deal with the outcome that may occur if Lupin looses the leg

Doctors are worried when infection sets in, but so much shit is wrong with the guy that it’s not surprising. . .what IS surprising is when the infection gets worse and suddenly Jigen is in a room surrounded by a bunch of people in white suits all discussing the idea of the most dreaded word Jigen has ever heard in his life and as they try to convince him that maybe it would be more beneficial for the leg to go

Infection isn't something to mess around with. For his leg to be so badly mutilated to the point of his blood essentially poisoning him, a discussion of possibly amputating the limb must be had. Jigen probably would fight as much as possible against the idea, imploring and even begging them to try every other possible route because he knows just how much Lupin needs both of his legs

like lupin is good at robotics

he could make a new leg

could deck it out and make it work as good as he can

but it's still the idea

not to mention the phantom pain would be nearly unbearable at times

Bit of a gut punch given the choice to attempt to continue treatment for his leg or to simply amputate it altogether, But Lupin asked for Jigen to help him make the decision.

But once again, Jigen finds himself freezing.

He has no idea what to say,

So he tells Lupin that he has to think about it for a little while. Which he has time to do, but he's still on the metaphorical clock, so to speak

But he doesn't "think"

At least not right away

Instead he just dips to cope and put it at the back of his mind for a while by hopefully spending some "time" with fujiko

Of fucking course he quickly learns that that isn’t going to work and he just has to say it to her

Him randomly just walking into Fujiko’s hotel room after dealing with this whole debacle for a few hours and originally he came here for a little “stress relief” but obviously Fujiko notices something is up by how he’s sitting on the end of the bed with his fingers steepled against his mouth and how cold and stone like he looks in his eyes.

Looks that she’d know by now mean that he was internally debating with himself and not liking the outcome of the argument

She asks him what’s up and oh imagine how bluntly he says the next words to her

“They wanna take his leg”

fujiko's heart dropping when she hears it, part of her hopes she misheard him but she knows what he said all she can think to respond with is a soft and fearful "what?"

Jigen chuckling as if in disbelief

“haha. . .yeah not the best news I’ve gotten all week”

Fujiko stopping everything and being like "ok we need to get everyone together and talk about this" bc it's literally pt 2 of that whole 'what would we do if Lupin couldn't thieve anymore' discussion

Jigen just taking a deep breath and nodding when Fuji says they need to talk about this. That all of them need to talk

No amount of "stress relief" would be able to fix this It's too somber, too severe

So they get dressed or whatever they have to do to get themselves situated and start making some calls

Fuji calling up Goe, jigen calling Zeni

Time passes and they all convene in Fuji's hotel room

Zeni probably shows up last, but they tell Goe and Zeni the news at the same time

They feel horrible having this sort of discussion without Lupin here with them-- but at the same time, it's one that they couldn't have if he were here, either.

so HERE are the Oppositions

Jigen and Zenigata: Amputation

Jigen's undecided ofc, that's kinda the whole point

And it doesn't matter if it's majority, they'd all decide pretty early on that the decision needs to be unanimous

Zeni would say amputate. Not because it'd mean Lupin can't be a thief anymore (or that it'd be a while until he figures out how to thieve again), that's the last thing he wants, but because it's the safest option. The best guarantee of recovery and the greatest avoidance of the unthinkable.

Considering how jigen might be frantic to fix it and for things to finally calm back down, he'd probably be leaning towards amputation for the same sort of reasons as Zeni. But the idea of Lupin losing a leg is absolutely terrifying to him, not to mention Lupin counting on him to decide whether to make the call or not.

Fujiko: No Amputation

Fujiko could reason that Lupin doesn’t do well with change and would be on the side of Non-Amputation. Not in the regular sense of people not doing well with change but in the sense that he has so very few constants in his life and he leans on those so heavily even if it’s not noticeable to outsiders. He has those few constants and without those tethers he loses himself. And right now things are already changing so much she doesn’t want him to have to lose anything else.

Fujiko won’t admit it, but Jigen knows how much she cares for Lupin, he’s come to accept the notion, especially in the weeks that have followed since this shit started.

Much like him, she has not handled the stress very well. The reason why Fujiko tends to stay is suave hotels attached to casinos

lots of big headed blue-bloods making it big, lots to swoon over her and lots of idiots she can steal from.

Because Lupin was everything to them. Without him they're drowning in how much they miss him and coping in ways they know

But Jigen is smart because also knows deep down that anyone riding the wave will eventually have to get off or fall

Fujiko just seems to end up falling more often now. Much like Lupin and Jigen, her tethers are snapping and if it makes her feel miserable

god what is it gonna do to Lupin

Goemon: No Amputation

Goemon's a bit tricky, but I'd say he'd be the most against it. He's very into self-improvement (shit way to put it but idk how else to) and would wholeheartedly believe that Lupin would be able to power through whatever sort of recovery might be necessary, no matter how much time it might take and no matter the risk to his health (bc lets be honest, Goemon tends to do the same thing to himself).

Honestly I just really like the idea of Goemon getting the chance to go off for once ;;;

Like, he can't fking believe that zeni and jigen are even considering amputation, it's completely unfathomable to him and he just digs into them for it

They've all been injured severely at some point and this has never been offered up as an option before, he doesn't understand how this scenario would be different from any of those other time

but imagine Jigen digs into the fact that Goemon hasn’t even been up to see Lupin since this happened and questioning him as to why everyone else has been up to see him besides Goemon

………goemon snapping back that jigen never gave him the chance to

which leads to

Jigen and Goemon Argument

Jigen actually ends up getting into a shouting match with Goemon on how dare he judge their decisions when he hasn’t even had the stones to go UP and see Lupin. And how he refuses to allow Goemon to use the fact he’s been guarding his sister as a excuse cause even MADDIE has pushed him to visit but Goemon refused

Jigen saying that Goemon never needed his permission to visit lupin,

but Goemon saying that he had no way of knowing that when he's been avoiding him ever since that fight he had with lupin in pt 5

Jigen railing into him over what he did. Because tbh this fight has been a long time coming and Jigen didn’t want to say anything about it but tensions are high and Jigen is on a trigger

He won’t say things he regrets though he’s close to it, but he will mention that Goemon has a lot of nerve considering what he did

And if Goemon tries to use the excuse that he has never been the only one to try and kill each other of the group, and that they’ve done it all the time and what makes the difference now

Only for Jigen to point out how no one has EVER actually tried to kill each other and that’s what Goemon doesn’t seem to get, they have always pretended but no one except Goemon has actively tried to KILL someone from this group and not only that nearly succeeded in doing so

However before he can continue, too Jigen’s surprise, however, Zeni steps into the ring in Goemon's defense for one simple reason

Zeni would probably say that jigen hasn't seen the full extent of Goemon's regret, and the fact that Goemon gave up everything when he believed he had 'defeated' lupin is proof enough that Goemon isn't making some kind of 'excuse' for what he did.

At the end, I'm sure they're all aware that Jigen is just snapping under stress. He's upset, he wants Lupin better, he doesn't want to have the conversation about his leg, he doesn't want to make these choices, he just wants to wake up beside him in bed and this is all just a bad dream

but thats not gonna happen any time soon. . .