#when if I just talked to someone in person this probably could’ve all been avoided | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

supernovafics · 1 year ago

Text

𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐍

pairing: professor!steve harrington x professor!fem!reader

word count: 6.8k words

summary: in which it had been twelve years since you last saw steve harrington. and you never thought about him, mainly because you’d forced yourself not to. but, suddenly, it was hard to avoid thoughts or reminders of him when after all of those years, you finally saw him again. it was an abrupt moment that oh so quickly brought back memories and old feelings that managed to do a number of things; confuse, scare, and worry you. after everything that happened between you two, you fully believed that you would never want to talk to him again. but maybe that was the exact thing that needed to happen.

warnings: explicit language, mentions of cheating, a bit of fluff, implied smut, a shit ton of angst but with a happy ending

author’s note: this took forever and it's insanely long but i love the way it turned out<33 the rest of the trilogy will be out next, so "august" and then "betty" coming (very) soon!! (full "folklore" album series masterlist here!)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

“and when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on and said i was your favorite.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Fall Semester 1996

You rarely ever thought about your life pre-Rhode Island. Mainly because you never wanted to, but also because it felt so far in the past that there was never any reason to focus on what used to be.

You segmented your life into two phases. One, before you left your hometown, and, two, the moment you drove past the “Leaving Hawkins” sign and never looked back, refraining to listen to the part of the sign that told you to “Come Again Soon.”

It had been nearly twelve years since you left the small Indiana town, and there wasn’t one moment where you ran into anyone that you once knew from that “before” life, which, in turn, meant that you never had any reason to think about Hawkins.

Until you did run into someone. And it was probably the worst possible person you could’ve ever run into.

Steve fucking Harrington.

You would’ve rather seen Simon Gardener— your crush from sixth grade who you’d thrown up in front of when the two of you got paired up on a Science project— than Steve.

But, now here he was, standing barely twenty feet away from you. You’d nearly dropped the coffee you’d waited almost twenty minutes for from your favorite coffee shop. Instead, you spilled some on your hand and only inwardly winced at the feeling because you didn’t want to draw attention to yourself.

You almost turned around and walked out of the building you just walked into, but your office was right down the hallway that Steve was currently standing in the middle of along with the head of the English Department, Dan. And now that there was spilled coffee on your hand you really needed to go in there and rummage through the drawer of your desk that contained a bunch of leftover napkins from random nights when you’d order takeout to your office.

Before you could contemplate further about what your next course of action should be, Dan spotted you and called your name, waving you over to where he and Steve were standing.

“Hi, good morning,” You greeted him, expertly avoiding eye contact with Steve because you didn’t want to see his reaction to seeing you for the first time in what pretty much felt like forever.

“Let me introduce you to the new addition to the History department upstairs,” Dan said and then gestured to Steve, which forced you to finally look at him. “Steve Harrington.”

You could tell he was surprised to see you, but he hid that surprise by smiling at you, and you hated that even after all of these years, his smile still managed to do something to you.

Now that you were closer to him, you could see some minor differences about him. His hair was a bit shorter, nothing too crazy or dramatic, but you noticed how his “iconic” hair was a bit more tame compared to how it used to be. And somehow he managed to get a little taller, only a couple of inches, but still you noticed that too.

He overall looked older, which obviously made sense because twelve years would do that to a person. However, there was still something all too familiar about him. That same boyish presence that you had gotten so used to seeing still lingered on him. Behind his eyes, you saw exactly that boy you fell in love with that one summer.

The summer that you never really thought about; in fact, you’d forced yourself not to think about it. But, now with him right in front of you, random flashbacks to moments from that July and August, especially August, were the only things circling your mind.

Your loud laughs and wide smiles as you swam in his pool and let your body wrap around his underneath the water, your drunken talks until the sun came up, the makeout sessions in his car that almost always led to doing other things in his bed since his parents were never home.

You pushed those memories far away, just as quickly as they resurfaced.

“Hi,” You said to him and forced a small smile.

You could tell that he was studying you just as you had been studying him, taking note of what you looked like now and comparing that to the version of you that he used to know. Whatever differences you had, you felt like they were subtle like his were, and just came with the territory of aging twelve years, but maybe he saw something else. He was the only person who you felt was able to actually look inside of you; he had known the ins and outs of who you were.

“She’s a Professor in the English department,” Dan told Steve, and you were insanely grateful for Dan’s presence at that moment because you knew that it would be hell if you had been alone with Steve right then. “Oh, what happened to your hand?”

You looked down at your hand, somehow you had actually forgotten about the spill that happened only moments ago.

“Little coffee mishap,” You said with a small, awkward laugh. “I have some napkins in my office, though, so I’m just going to head in there.” You looked at Steve and directed another forced smile at him, you had a feeling you’d be doing that a lot now. “Nice to meet you.”

You mentioned something to Dan about seeing him at a faculty meeting later and then headed to your office, which was only about ten feet away.

When it was just you alone behind the shut door of your office, your brain could finally process everything that had just happened.

Steve was here. Not Hawkins, not Indiana, Rhode Island. And not only was he simply in Rhode Island, but he now worked at the college you had been working at for the past two and a half years.

The only word you could think of at that moment was “Fuck,” and then you couldn’t help but mutter it under your breath. You took a sip of your coffee and let the familiar sweet and slightly bitter taste soothe your nerves.

Barely thirty minutes later— after trying your hardest to finish up the planning for a lecture you had been working on for the past few days but failing miserably because your mind couldn’t help but wonder why Steve was here of all places— you were stepping out of your office and almost crashed right into him.

“Jesus Christ,” You yelped; once again so surprised to see him.

“I swear I was about to knock and this is just freakishly weird timing,” He quickly told you. “I wasn’t being a creep and waiting for you to come out.”

“Okay,” You said with a small nod. Somehow his nervousness at that moment made you feel less nervous. “Um, what’s up?”

“Can we talk, maybe?”

“I have a class in fifteen minutes, so I can’t now,” You told him as you glanced down at the watch on your wrist. “But, um, maybe soon, yeah?”

You were completely lying, there was no way you were going to talk to him soon; at least not about what you assumed he wanted to talk about. You refused to do that.

Luckily Steve couldn’t see through your lie, or if he did, he didn’t call you out on it. Instead, he nodded at your words before you walked away.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

“'cause i knew you. steppin' on the last train marked me like a bloodstain. i knew you. tried to change the ending peter losing wendy.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Somehow, and much to your grateful surprise, you rarely ever saw Steve. And when you did, because he was only just upstairs so it was sort of inevitable, there were only quick passing glances shared between you two along with tight-lipped smiles and small waves; both of you too busy to have any kind of actual conversation with one another.

However, you did manage to learn a few things about him over the past month he’d been there. You heard through the grapevine— said grapevine being various faculty members that seemed to grow a quick liking to Steve— that he was taking over Tamara Wilson’s two Early European History classes for the rest of the Fall semester because she went on maternity leave, and in the Spring he’d be teaching it again along with a U.S. history course.

None of that information answered the one question constantly running through your mind, though.

What the hell was he doing here?

Because you had to admit, you were so curious to know about all of it. How he was here, why he was here, how this coincidence could’ve happened.

But, you also really didn’t want to talk to him because you had the strongest feeling that the conversation would also involve the past, that summer, and how much you didn’t want that to happen outweighed your curiosity.

Therefore, on the night of the college’s annual Winter Gala, the first instance that could actually allow you two to talk to one another, you still tried your hardest to avoid him.

You had always hated these kinds of events because they were solely used to schmooze alumni and other donors to get them to give the school money, and even though you understood the need for that, you still didn’t enjoy attending. However, you knew that you always had to show face, at least for an hour or two.

And you made it nearly an hour and a half without having to see Steve and you were almost certain that you actually wouldn’t see him. But, moments before you were about to make your final rounds and say goodbye to people, mainly Dan so you could prove to him that you’d shown up, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

It was almost too easy to know that it was Steve because it was only his touch that ever managed to send something equivalent to an electric shock through your body. And with the strapless black dress you were wearing, his hand making contact with your bare shoulder immediately made surprised goosebumps rise to your skin.

“Hi,” He said, offering a small smile. Somehow the first thing you noticed about him was the bow tie he was wearing. He was also wearing a black suit with a white button-up shirt, but the bow tie caught your eye first. You were immediately reminded of a memory of him saying how much he hated bow ties, but you had told him how great he looked in one. In this moment, you hated how right you still were.

“Hey,” You responded with a smile of your own, and you sincerely hoped he couldn’t see your nervousness through it. He opened his mouth to say something but you jumped in before he could. “How’s your first month here been so far?”

“Good,” Steve answered with a nod. “A little weird just jumping in at the middle of the semester and trying to go along with what Wilson already set on the syllabus. A weekly quiz was on there, and I immediately told the students that we wouldn’t be doing that anymore.”

“They probably love you for that.”

“Yeah, I got a round of applause on my first day.”

You couldn’t help but smile at that, you were only fifty percent sure that he was joking, but either way, the thought amused you.

You wanted to ask when he got into history and into teaching, but maybe that question would open a can of worms that would lead to other topics of conversation you wanted to stay away from.

“I can guarantee that at least half of them will want to be in your class next semester,” You said instead of asking what you really wanted. “You’re gonna be doing U.S. History, right?”

“Yeah, and I’ll still be taking over for Wilson, so I’ll have three courses next semester, which should be interesting,” Steve nodded, and then a look crossed his face as if he just remembered something. “But, that probably sounds like nothing to you because I heard that you’re currently doing four American Lit courses and one British Lit course. Oh, and you’re the only person in the English department teaching that many courses, which sounds insane but that’s also pretty cool.”

You pretended as if now knowing that he had asked about you didn’t affect you at least a tiny bit. And you also pretended that hearing the admiration in his voice didn’t affect you at all either.

“Yeah, I’ve only been teaching here for a little over two years, so I still get stuck with most of the basic courses. Which isn’t horrible, but it’s pretty boring and easy, so I always do a lot,” You told him with a small shrug. All of the work that had been on your plate for the past few years sounded like a lot— maybe even too much— but in your mind, it actually wasn’t as crazy as it seemed. Because you liked drowning yourself in your job, it made you feel useful, and you’d spent so much time before and right after you left Hawkins feeling the exact opposite that you’d do almost anything to make sure you never felt that way again. “But, next semester I’m doing an advanced Creative Writing course for the first time, in addition to only two American Lit courses, so I’m pretty excited about that.”

Steve smiled at you. “That’s nice.”

This small talk felt okay to you, it was bearable. It was also mundane and a little trivial, but you’d rather that than talk about the past. Apparently, Steve had other plans, though.

“I had no idea you moved here.”

You pulled your eyes away from his and focused on your half-empty flute of champagne that you’d gotten when you arrived at the event and was probably disgustingly warm by now. You contemplated for a few moments whether or not you should avoid Steve’s question or allow the conversation to go in the direction that it was inevitably meant to go in. Maybe it was stupid to think that you’d be able to pretend as if your past, which Steve was quite involved in, never existed.

“Yeah… I went to college in Massachusetts and then I went to grad school here in Rhode Island but in a different part of the state, a little more north. And I always just stayed here, always finding a reason to stay around, some small internship or job, and then I ended up at this college because a friend who was already working here recommended me. I had never done any teaching before, but I actually like it.”

You didn’t tell him that the main reason why you always found a reason— more so desperately searched for reasons— to stay in Rhode Island was so that you never had to go back to Hawkins. But, maybe that was obvious, at least to him, because he was a huge factor as to why you knew that you needed to leave that town and never look back.

You silently wondered if he had been gone from Hawkins for a long time too, and then you realized that with the turn the conversation had taken, you could actually ask that question.

“When did you leave Hawkins?”

“Almost ten years ago now,” Steve said, and you had to admit, you were kind of surprised by that answer. To you, he always seemed like the type of person that would want to stay in the small town. “Decided it was time for a scenery change and my parents, especially my dad, were more than happy to send me anywhere.” He let out a dry and slightly sad chuckle, and you were all too quickly reminded of why you had always despised his parents. “He pulled some strings at this small college in Ohio, so I went there and actually liked it a lot, and I haven’t been back to Hawkins since.”

You two were sitting at an empty table now, somehow silently agreeing to migrate to that spot as you continued your conversation. You placed the glass in your hand on the white tablecloth and turned to look at Steve.

“When did you get into history?”

“My first semester I had this professor for a World History class and he was really great; Richard James. It was probably the first class ever that I actually cared about what was going on because of how he was teaching everything and I became pretty interested in history. I took a couple more history classes with him and some other professors too, and still really liked it so I changed my major to it. And after I graduated I started TA-ing for some of the advanced classes he was teaching.”

There was a smile on your face that you wanted to get rid of but couldn’t because it was just so nice to hear how happy Steve was as he talked about the past almost ten years of his life. You hated to admit it, and you’d probably never do so out loud, but there was still a part of you that cared about him so much, and you were glad that he was happy.

“And then I ended up here because last month Richard was supposed to do a talk here, but he got sick last second and asked me to fill in for him. And for some reason, the head of the History department really liked me and offered me a job.”

You had never been the biggest fan of history so it wasn’t that surprising that you had missed the first time that Steve had been here, but your mind couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if your paths had accidentally crossed then.

“I want you to know, though, that if I would’ve known that you also worked here, I wouldn’t have taken the job,” Steve told you, somehow pretty much reading your mind and answering your unasked question. “Because I know you left Hawkins because of me. Because you never wanted to see me again, which I completely understand.”

His words right then surprised you and you had no idea what to say in response to that; your thoughts started running a million miles a second and you could only look down at your hands in your lap. But then you didn’t have to say anything because Steve kept talking.

“I’m still really sorry about everything that happened.”

You were so close to telling him to stop talking about it. You were fully ready to make up some lie about how the past was in the past, and how you were over everything that happened twelve years ago.

But, right then you actually didn’t want to lie and pretend that none of it mattered. You didn’t want to avoid the past like a plague, as you’d been doing for the past decade, and like you especially had been doing for the past month since Steve showed up in Rhode Island.

However, it couldn’t happen here. In the school’s basketball court that had been transformed for the evening into a ballroom-type of elegant space. No one was paying attention to either of you, but the potential for someone to come up at any moment while you were finally having this conversation with Steve worried you.

You finally let your eyes meet his again. “Can we talk about this outside?”

Steve nodded as you stood up and he followed you out the nearest door.

It was dark outside, the time now nearing on ten o’clock, but the many lamp posts brightened up the emptiness of the quad. You found a bench and sat down, the cool metal against your back calmed your nerves a bit.

You were suddenly reminded of the last time you and Steve talked to each other before you left Hawkins, which was about a month into Senior year at a random party at Rachel McKenna’s house. It was barely even a conversation because you refused to listen to him and his slew of apologies back then. And then you also refused to talk to him for the entirety of the school year.

You were still unsure if you had any regrets about that.

“I really don’t even know where to start,” You said now with a small sigh. “I always forced myself to never think about us; about that summer and the aftermath of it too. For the longest time I pretended as if none of it really mattered. Because I knew that we no longer mattered to each other.”

“You always mattered to me,” Steve told you and it was almost too easy to hear the honesty in his tone.

Still, you were quick to shake your head at him. “Stop, you can’t say stuff like that.”

“But, it’s the truth.”

You bypassed that softly spoken statement because even though you could hear that he was being honest, you didn’t want to acknowledge it right then. So, instead, you focused on something else that he previously said.

“You’re right. You were the main reason that I left Hawkins, not the only reason but definitely one of the big ones. But, it’s also funny because you were one of the reasons why I almost wanted to stay.” Your next words sat right on the tip of your tongue, but they were almost too hard to get out. You cleared your throat and took a quick breath before speaking. “Because I loved you, I literally loved you. So much. But, I knew that I couldn’t, or that I shouldn’t, because nothing could actually happen between us. That summer we were living in a dumb fairytale that could never become a reality. And it was so fucking stupid of me to ever think that we could actually be something real.”

“I wanted us to be something real,” Steve said and you had to bite back the scoff you wanted to let out in response.

“Yeah, weeks after you told me that what we were doing would have to be over because it was the end of summer and Nancy was coming back to town,” You said, trying hard not to let yourself get thrust back into that memory because the exact words he had said to you that day were still etched in your mind. “But, when we abruptly ended, it finally put everything into perspective for me. I felt like such a shitty person because of what we did and how it was a fucked up thing to do. And then immediately having to pretend as if none of it ever happened made it all feel so much worse. I hated you, but I hated myself so much more for everything that happened. That’s why I never wanted to see you or talk to you again, especially at that stupid party.”

You hadn’t realized you were crying until a soft look took over Steve’s face and you suddenly felt the wetness on your cheeks. You haphazardly wiped them away and averted your eyes from his, feeling immensely embarrassed because you hated that talking about all of that, things from years and years ago, still made you cry like you were that seventeen-year-old girl all over again.

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry you felt that way,” Steve told you. “But, it was all so much more my fault than it was yours. I was the one that cheated on her.”

“But, I knew. I knew about Nancy, and I knew that what we were doing was wrong.” But, I still did it because I wanted you so bad, and I loved that you wanted me too. You didn’t say that part because you hated the way it would make you sound.

“Still, it will always be more my fault. I was such an asshole back then. All of that ‘King Steve’ stuff really got to my head and I did a lot of shitty things,” He said, and you could tell that he wasn’t proud of that part of his past and he really did feel bad about it. “But, I don’t regret you, or us, or that summer, though. And maybe that still makes me somewhat of an asshole, but that’s okay because it’s true. I don’t regret you. Not at all.”

Somehow hearing him say those words made you realize that you didn’t regret any of it either, which was a thought that actually made you want to cry harder. Because even though you should’ve regretted everything because of every single thing that happened after— the hurt and shame you felt so strongly for months after— you knew that you’d let yourself do it all over again.

You’d still stupidly talk to him for the first time ever outside “Ralph’s Sandwich Shop” after he mocked you on the fact that you liked to put potato chips inside your sandwich and then praised you once he tried it and realized how good it was. And you’d definitely still let him kiss you for the first while swimming in his pool in the middle of the night after whispering to him, “Are you sure?” and his answer being a small nod and his lips pressing against yours that led to the chain of events that brought you both to where you were now.

You wholeheartedly knew that you’d do it all over again. And because of that, it made you say your next statement.

“I don’t want to be angry and upset with you anymore, or pretend you don't exist. I want us to be okay with each other.”

“I want that too. I want us to be friends,” Steve said, and although being friends was a lot different from simply being okay with one another, it actually didn’t sound like too crazy of an idea to you.

You nodded at him. “Okay. Yeah, me too.”

You held out your hand for Steve to take, which he did, and the two of you shook hands to seal this “deal.”

Your gaze broke from his and you glanced down a bit. “Nice bow tie, by the way.”

“I remember someone told me that I looked good in them and I believed her.”

“She’s still right.”

“Good to know.”

You both smiled at each other and then laughed, and it may have taken twelve years, but it finally felt like the past was really in the past.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

“but i knew you. dancin' in your levi's, drunk under a streetlight. i knew you. hand under my sweatshirt, baby, kiss it better.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Spring Semester 1997

It was during the most random of moments that you were startled by how close you were able to become with Steve again, and how almost too easily it was able to happen.

Joking around with one another actually felt normal to do, and even talking to each other about anything and everything somehow felt like second nature all over again.

Steve was the one person from your “before” life that you had wholeheartedly believed you never wanted to see again, and now you were glad that he was in your life again. Those stark lines between “before” and “after” that you had drawn twelve years ago were now completely smudged.

Sometimes when the two of you were in your or his office late at night simultaneously working on whatever you needed to while eating takeout from random places, you were hit with the thought, “Holy shit, I can’t believe I’m here with Steve fucking Harrington right now,” and when you would tell him that random thought, he’d laugh a bit and agree that this sudden turn of events did feel at least a little unexpected.

But, he liked how things changed these past few months, and you really did too.

Now it was you asking to use the shower in his hotel room that once again made you feel surprised by how comfortable you were with him.

“Can I use your shower? The one in my room doesn’t get hot for some reason,” You had said and then immediately laughed because of how insane the request was, but of course, Steve didn’t mind.

“Yeah, sure,” He answered with a nod of his head, opening his door further to fully let you in the room.

“Thank you,” You said, smiling at him as you walked in, a towel from your hotel room next door in hand along with a change of clothes. “I’m gonna tell the front desk about it tomorrow. I would do it now, but after the four-hour drive today, I actually feel disgusting and am in dire need of a shower.”

The two of you along with a handful of other faculty from the English, History, and Theology departments were in upstate New York for a small weekend-long conference. Things like that were definitely one of your favorite parts of your job. Hearing talks from the authors of books that you loved, and then being able to pick their brains afterward. It felt like you were a student all over again, but in a better way because you were only listening to the stuff you cared about.

It was also pretty endearing seeing how excited Steve was about everything too. He’d gone on and on about a lecture on World War II that was scheduled for tomorrow for at least an hour during your car ride together, and his happy rambling somehow made you want to go to it too.

“I haven’t taken a shower yet, so I actually don’t know if mine works either,” Steve told you as you headed toward the bathroom.

“Oh God, please don’t say that,” You responded and went to turn on the shower. You sighed in relief when you felt the water get warm on your hand. “Okay, we’re good!”

After your shower, you joined Steve where he was sitting at the foot of his bed. It probably would’ve made sense to head back to your room, both of you had to be up fairly early in the morning, but you didn’t necessarily want to leave just yet; even though the two of you had just spent the past four hours holed up in a car together.

He was clicking through channels on the small television placed atop the dresser, trying to decide on something to put on, before settling on a movie that looked quite familiar to you; Footloose. It was the movie that the two of you watched the first time you went over to his house that summer.

“Do you remember this movie?” He smiled at you and it was hard not to laugh at his question.

You met his gaze. “I definitely remember, but do you? Because you fell asleep during it.”

“I eventually got around to watching it,” He responded and you smiled at that.

“Good,” You told him as you pulled your eyes away from his and turned your attention back toward the television, the movie was close to the end.

When the credits started rolling ten minutes later, you were about to say goodnight to Steve and finally head back next door to your room, but he started speaking before you said anything.

“Do you ever wonder how different things would be now if we had ended up together back then?” He asked, and the vulnerability and genuine curiosity laced within the question made your heart constrict. “If I hadn’t been an idiot and gone back to Nancy at the end of the summer. If I realized earlier that I really wanted to be with you.”

His words actually managed to surprise you because, over the last few months of you and Steve becoming friends again, that part of your deeply intertwined past was something that neither of you talked about. What the two of you used to be to each other, so deeply and utterly in love, hadn’t once come up in your conversations. Maybe it was the elephant in the room that had yet to be addressed. However, a part of you also felt that it was unnecessary to talk about it because, just like everything else, that was also in the past.

“Things would’ve definitely been different,” You ultimately said, words feeling unsure because you now felt so confused. Your next statements came out rushed as you leaned back on the bed, your back hitting the comforter and your hands covering your face because you were purposefully avoiding eye contact with him. “Sorry, I don’t really know what to say right now. I didn’t expect you to say that, and now my mind is kinda spiraling a bit.”

The question became a broken record in your mind.

Do you ever wonder how different things would be now if we had ended up together back then?

You actually had never wondered about that because, for the longest time, you had forced yourself not to think about Steve, or that summer, or even Hawkins in general. But now your brain was spiraling in a thousand different directions with potential answers to the simply stated but insanely loaded question.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That was a stupid question. I don’t even know why I asked it, honestly,” Steve responded, words coming out rushed just as yours had. Something about his current sudden nervousness reminded you of the first encounter you two had in the hallway when you learned that he lived in Rhode Island. “Please forget I said anything.”

You didn’t want to forget, though.

“It would’ve been good, I think,” You said softly. You could feel Steve’s eyes on you, but you still didn’t want to meet his gaze. “I think we would’ve been really good together. I wouldn’t have spent almost every day working at the library, and instead, I would’ve gone to your basketball games and swim meets, and I’d actually enjoy it all because I was watching you. And we would’ve gotten drunk at parties on the weekends, and then the next morning you’d still drive me to my shift at the library and stay the entire time because there was nothing else that you wanted to spend your Sunday morning and afternoon doing. Maybe after graduating, we would’ve chosen colleges somewhere close to Hawkins, or even somewhere so far away from the small town. Probably someplace far away. But that part of it doesn’t really matter because we would’ve been together, and that’s all that would have mattered.”

There was really no doubt in your mind that that would’ve happened, or a different but similar version occurring that also included you and Steve simply being happy and in love with one another.

You felt the bed shift a bit after a few moments of your previous words lingering in the air of the hotel room and settling heavily over Steve, and you finally pulled your hands away from your face to look at him. He was now also leaning back against the bed and staring up at the ceiling.

“God, I was such a dumbass,” He muttered, and you could hear the sadness in his voice.

You turned on your side to face him. “We both were. I wish I let myself forgive you at that party.”

“I didn’t deserve your forgiveness then,” He responded as he turned on his side as well and met your eyes. “Sometimes I feel like I barely deserve it now.”

There was so much you could’ve said in response to that but words didn’t feel right in that moment. So, instead of saying something along the lines of, “Please stop beating yourself up about it. You’re a good person,” you shimmied yourself closer to him, closing the small gap of space between you two, and pulled him in for a hug.

The position was awkward, one of your arms was sandwiched underneath him and you knew that it would almost immediately fall asleep and cause some discomfort. However, any and all awkwardness faded away when you felt Steve reciprocate and his arms circled around you.

“It’s okay, okay? I promise everything is okay between us,” You whispered, almost certain that your words got lost in his neck, but when you felt him squeeze you tighter you knew that he was able to hear you clearly. And not only that, but he believed you.

And then it felt like almost second nature for you to make a joke to make things feel light again. “Actually, I’m still offended that you fell asleep during Footloose the first time we ever hung out. I don’t forgive you for that.”

You felt his body shake with laughter which made you smile, and after a few moments, you pulled back from the hug to find him smiling softly at you.

“I’ll redeem myself when the sequel comes out,” He said.

“It’s been twelve years, I think the sequel ship has sailed.”

He laughed again. “Okay, yeah, that’s true.”

You should’ve taken the newfound silence as your opportunity to say goodnight to him and head next door to your room. However, you couldn’t find the will to fully pull yourself away from him. His arms were still around you, like yours were, and your faces were dangerously close. But, the current proximity didn’t feel dangerous or worrisome to you. Instead, it simply felt right; which was an abrupt feeling that should’ve confused you, but somehow it didn’t.

“I really missed you,” He told you, breaking the silence with a statement that only cemented that “rightness” you were feeling at that moment.

“I missed you too.” Your four words somehow felt so effortlessly honest. Even though you had pretended that he and that summer never mattered by forcing your thoughts away from it all, Steve always still held a place in your heart. Deep down inside of you, something that resembled a yearning for him almost always lingered. “I constantly tried to tell myself that that wasn’t true, but I really did miss you… And I’m so glad we’re here right now.”

“Me too.” He looked at you so softly that you felt yourself slowly melting under his gaze.

In your mind, which now suddenly felt so clear and the farthest thing from confused, the next thing you wanted to do seemed like the best thing to do. In fact, it was something that you felt like you needed to do.

Your hand that was resting at the nape of Steve’s neck moved to his cheek as you dipped your head just a tiny bit closer to him.

Steve closed the small gap some more and his lips ghosted over yours for what felt like a fraction of a second before he pulled back a little and looked at you. “Are you sure?”

“Now that sounds awfully familiar,” You joked, referring to that moment in his pool all those years ago, and although he cracked a smile at your statement, you knew his question was serious.

You weren’t kids anymore. The two of you couldn’t just kiss and let it mean nothing in the end.

But, you truly didn’t want it to mean nothing.

You couldn’t have a good ending back then, but did that mean that you still couldn’t have one now?

“I’m so sure about this,” You told him and before he could potentially respond with anything, you let your lips find his, and how quickly Steve kissed you back nonverbally told you how he felt about it all too.

You were completely done for, you knew that for certain. There was nothing that could compare to this and there would never be anything that could compare to this— Steve’s lips on yours for the first time in years, but it feeling like the last time it happened was only yesterday. It was all so innate and easy, probably the easiest thing you’d ever done.

The way his hand found your waist to pull you even closer to him, which made you inwardly smile, and the way you let your fingers settle in his hair and lightly tug on the brown locks, which elicited a soft sigh in contentment from him— you still knew every part of each other so well.

Two people that had been apart for so long finally coming back together. It was a statement that technically summed up you and Steve, but in your eyes, that felt too simple and didn’t accurately summarize the hurt, pain, and turmoil that had accompanied the past twelve years. And it especially didn’t correctly encompass the current part of it all, the “coming back together” part.

Because that part felt indescribable.

A part of it felt similar to watching a movie that ended just the way you wanted it to, or having someone right there to help you get back up and patch up your wounds after you’d fallen off your bike. A feeling that said that even though everything had once felt so uncertain and the complete opposite of perfect, it wasn’t that way anymore.

Things quickly felt so good and right, and both of you were already making internal promises— promises that you’d later whisper to one another while wrapped up in the sheets of Steve’s bed— to never let each other go so easily again.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

“and i knew you'd come back to me. you’d come back.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

let me know ur thoughts<333

(read “august” here!)

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x fem!reader #stranger things fic #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington #steve harrington angst #steve harrington one shot #stranger things imagine #stranger things smut #stranger things fluff

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antebunny · 3 months ago

Text

Babysitter from Hell

Jason changes his mind on never associating with any of the Bats ever again because of one Stephanie Brown. She had absolutely no intention of changing his mind about anything, she just showed up and started talking until Jason begrudgingly accepted his fate as the “I’ll kill for you” member of a “live for me” family.

(That’s a lie. He’s gotten over 10% of anything that’s ever happened to him in his eventful albeit painfully short life. But he’s working on it, okay?)

Before Jason knew any better, Steph reminded him of Dick. A cheerful, upbeat personality, a flagrant and equally cheerful disregard for Batman’s orders, an overconsumption of sugary breakfast items, a love for bright colors, and an annoying distaste for brutality, considering both are (technically) violent criminals.

Really, the main difference he saw was that Steph fucking hates his guts.

Jason is still sure that Dick will, eventually, after Titan’s Tower. He put his plan to give his Replacement a beat-down on hold after the Bats discovered his identity. It’s hard to maintain his level of hatred for the Bats when they keep soft-speaking at him like he’s some sort of victim they’re rescuing. That’s also why he keeps avoiding Dick. The guy treats all of Jason’s threats against the Replacement like one big joke. Who would’ve thought that the “getting pissed on the Replacement’s behalf” job would fall to his ex-girlfriend?

In summary, Jason thought Steph was a purple-clad, blond-haired female version of Dick with no emotional attachment to the second Robin, and a personal relationship with the third Robin. An enemy, in other words. Someone with every reason to be ideologically opposed to Jason for the rest of time.

Still, she’s a kid. Jason has promised himself to be nice to all vigilantes, no matter how sanctimonious or annoying, so long as they’re only fifteen years old. So when he finds her perched on a rooftop corner, doing recon on a case that he is working on, he mutters a curse to himself and doubles back to find a good spot to grapple to her rooftop without anyone noticing. He doesn’t want to get in a fight with a kid, but he doesn’t want anyone to think they’re on friendly terms, either. Better that no one knows.

Spoiler notices him coming at the last second and rolls to her feet. Too late if he was actually trying to kill her, and she’s also giving up her position. How sloppy. Jason can’t believe Batman’s letting her out like this.

“Go run home to daddy,” he growls. “Before I make you.”

That should be enough. Jason has a gun. (A lot of them). She can’t have more than two years of training. She clearly has been instructed not to engage with him, if the way she quietly mutters O, it’s Hood, yes I’m leaving immediately pinky promise means anything. Which is why Jason is utterly floored when she snaps back at him.

“My dad’s in jail, where he belongs,” Spoiler retorts.

“What.”

That’s all Jason can manage when Jason_Todd.exe stops functioning. Several rebooting attempts fail as they run into Bruce is in jail??? then no, obviously not Bruce then I don’t even care if Bruce is in jail then who is Spoiler, anyway? If Jason casts his mind back to who he thought Spoiler was before all this happened, he would’ve said roughly middle class, most likely orphaned, and probably had a parent that was the head of Gotham’s social services before being brutally murdered by some Rogue who hated anyone being nice to orphans. It would’ve been on par for the course, at least. Bruce’s parents were good up until they were good and dead. Same with Dick. Barbara’s dad, despite being the chief of police, was somehow the one non-corrupt cop in all of Gotham. Jason was the only unlucky one.

Or so he thought.

“So unless you’re gonna put me in jail,” Spoiler prompts. “Which would be pretty hypocritical of you, considering–”

“What the fuck is he locked up for?”

Okay, he could’ve said that nicer. And he said he would be nice to kids. But consider: Jason is just not very good at keeping his promises.

Spoiler stares at him blankly in a way only someone wearing white-out lenses and a lower face mask can. “For…being a knockoff Riddler? Ever heard of Cluemaster? I guess it’s understandable for your average citizen to not but like, this is your job, dude. How can you not–”

“Cluemaster?” Jason interrupts again, even harsher than before. He vaguely recognizes the name from the long list of minor villains that came and went while Jason was away. “Arthur Brown?”

“Yep!” Spoiler springs forward and extends a hand. Belatedly he realizes that he hasn’t lowered his gun. “Stephanie Brown, nice ta meet ‘cha!”

And that’s how Jason learns Steph’s name.

Jason finally does lower the gun, only so that he can bat her hand away and look frantically around the rooftop for anyone who might’ve overheard. “You can’t just tell me your secret identity!” He shouts, careful to not repeat her name even when he’s losing control over his volume. “That–what the fuck! That’s Vigilantism 101!”

Spoiler–Stephanie–picks up his hand and shakes it vigorously.

“What the fuck,” Jason repeats blankly while his hand–or more accurately, blood-stained glove–is shaken by an overeager fifteen-year-old idiot. “What the fuck. I’m a–a Rogue. I’m your enemy. How the fuck did B let you out in a mask.”

“Okay, first of all, B didn’t let me do anything,” Stephanie corrects, affronted about all the wrong things. “I was the one running around trying to stop my dad’s–Cluemaster, in case you already forgot–plans. Second of all, I know who you are, I’m not an idiot. B got a hell of a lecture on how it’s very not pogchamp to keep important secrets from us. I wouldn’t just tell anyone. Third, I thought you already knew? Aren’t you obsessed with Robin? How come you didn’t already know?”

Jason steps away from her, mind reeling with memories of two-bit criminal Willis Todd and his reign of terror in that shitty, one-bedroom apartment deep in Park Row. He would bet his (second) life that long before Arthur Brown took to the streets, he took whatever it is that’s so fucked up inside him out on those closest to him. His family, the people that needed and trusted him the most, the people that could not just walk away.

How many times has Jason thought of Willis Todd and burned with resentment whenever the Bats preached about all criminals getting second chances? They wouldn’t get it, he’d told himself; a hollow comfort, clearly, when Stephanie is standing right in front of him, as bright and cheerful as ever, happy to be working with the Bats even while she spits on her father’s memory.

(Not memory. His name. He’s alive, albeit rotting in prison. Just one more abuser that Batman refused to kill for someone he l–someone under his protection).

“I know now,” Jason drawls. “Should’ve listened to their lectures on secret identities. Now leave, little girl.”

And maybe it’s the insult, or O (whoever that is, because Jason does not, in fact, know) telling her to go, but Spoiler gives him one more affronted look and leaves.

It’s not the last he hears of Spoiler, of course. Though someone clearly gives her the mother of all lectures afterwards, because she avoids him for a couple weeks. That gives him the time to do his own research.

Stephanie Brown lives in the Narrows with her mother, a mere hop and skip from where Jason grew up. She went to public school up until last academic year, whereupon she got a scholarship from Wayne Foundation. She attends Gotham Academy, like the Replacement, like Barbara, like Dick (like Jason before that too was stolen from him).

She’s surprisingly similar to Jason. (He swears he’s not just drawing comparison for his own ego). Her mother is still alive, so she received a scholarship instead of being adopted by Bruce. But both fathers were a joke to the very idea of fatherhood. (Both mothers failed to protect them from the father). Both grew up in poor, dangerous neighborhoods with violent, criminal fathers.

The thing is–and Jason surprises himself with the revelation–he wants to mentor her. Jason is very sure that he understands, better than any of the Bats, what she has gone through. The same soft streak which hates to see kids on the streets wants to take her under his wing.

I don’t understand, Little Wing. What did he do to you?

It’s impossible for so many reasons that it doesn’t bother stating. Jason isn’t a Bat (anymore), and the lack of trust is mutual even if the hate is not. Really, the most important reason should be the fact that Steph hates his guts, except–

“And I know he means well, but he’s just so…overbearing sometimes, y’know?”

Jason slaps another pancake down on her plate. “Tell me ‘bout it.”

They’re a farce, the two of them. Eating pancakes at midnight on the only clean kitchen counter (the other is littered with disassembled guns) while Jason is half-dressed in military-grade gear. Steph, meanwhile, speaks with her mouth stuffed full. Maple syrup drips onto her fluffy white crop top (Jason didn’t know they made fluffy crop tops), and she brushes crumbs off her purple sweatpants.

It feels like a joke. The remorseless murderer, glowering at his mixing bowl and the teenage vigilante, resembling nothing so much as a chipmunk. (It feels a bit like having a family again).

“Like, it’s like he’s showing off how many friends he has,” Steph continues, oblivious to Jason’s inner monologue. “Which I know he’s not, but seriously. He’s been doing this so much longer than any of us, and then he gets so excited by someone new and tries to introduce them to everyone and it’s like–he’s friends with Starfire, and all the original Titans, and half the Justice League and half of Gotham’s Rogue gallery, and goddamn Superman. And he has B wrapped around his little finger and doesn’t even know it!”

Jason’s pancake suddenly tastes bland and weirdly mushy. “Yeah. Sucks ass but kinda funny.”

Somehow Jason’s attempts to look after Steph on patrol, to make sure she isn’t too injured, turned into this. Steph bursts into one of his apartments of safehouses at random hours of the day, raids his pantry, and complains a mile a minutes about anyone and everything.

“You gonna answers his calls?” Steph side-eyes him. “I know he keeps getting your number somehow and you know he really misses you.”

Which is not to say that all Steph does is complain and talk about herself. She’s all too happy to prod Jason about his (nonexistent) personal life.

“No,” Jason answers shortly, and throws another pancake on her plate. “Eat or get out.”

Steph shrugs and attacks her new pancake with gusto. She doesn’t push or pry, unlike some people Jason could mention, though she always asks. A Bat who is capable of just letting it go. Jason thought he’d never see the day.

If Jason were an “asks question” type of person instead of a “bottle everything up until you choke on it” kind of person, maybe he’d ask about her father. About what really happened with Black Mask, not just what news reports speculate. (Ask how she can stand to love the Bats when they’ve failed her so terribly, when her abuser draws breath, when her murderer walks free, when the Bats sleep easily knowing both of those facts and have no intention of changing either fact even though they claim to l–)

Jason isn’t an “asks question” type of person.

“Hey, can I bring Tim next time?” Steph asks, just shy of casual. “He’d–”

The wooden mixing spoon cracks in Jason’s hand. “Unless you wanna get him a couple’a broken bones,” he says evenly, “I’d suggest keepin’ that little parasite far away from me.”

Steph scowls, suddenly remembering that she doesn’t like Jason. “I don’t get why you hate him.”

Why wouldn’t he. The Replacement represents everything Jason loathes. It’s almost too perfect, how hateable he is.

“I don’t get how you dated him,” Jason retorts, which is maybe a little beneath him. Whatever.

“Oh, we are not talking about my dating history,” Steph hisses. She shoves her stool back as she stands, fork clattering to the counter. “Bros before hoes. You’re the hoe. Tim’s my bro.”

Jason is trying to decide whether or not to take offense while she produces a takeout box out of nowhere. For her next trick, she disappears all the remaining pancakes on her plate into the box, seals it smartly, and disappears the box.

“Thanks for the food. Asshole.” Steph scowls, upset at her own manners and upset at Jason for not simpering for the little leech who wormed himself into Jason’s f–the group of people Jason would’ve once called family.

Jason is no expert, but when someone makes pancakes for you at midnight, it’s an act of love. Or something. He could never say it out loud, but Steph gets it. She knows what going on here, beneath Jason’s harsh words (and threats, and firearms, and–you get the point).

It almost feels like having a little sister, or a weird little cousin. Steph isn’t remotely scared of him. She inexplicably wants to spend time with Jason, as rough and unpleasant as he is. Jason doesn’t believe for one second that the other Bats don’t know about her visits, so somehow, they’re fine with it too. The only thing chasing Steph away and flaring Jason’s temper, is, once again, the fucking Replacement.

The next Bat to successfully land a standing invitation to Jason’s (nonexistent) dinner table is also one of the first. Barbara Gordon rolls up to his doorstep one night, armed only with whatever rocket launchers she has installed in her wheelchair (which probably doesn’t sound like “only” to anyone but Jason). The arched frown she levels at him from over her glasses is so familiar, so lovingly judgemental, that Jason tears up a little.

He slams his front door closed and starts dumping his gear, back to Barbara, so he can hide his face until the wetness around his eyes goes away. When he turns around, Barbara is a little closer and a little further to his left, by the kitchen counter stools.

“Hey Babs,” says Jason, at a loss for what else to do. “What the fuck happen’a you?”

“Nice to see you too, Jason,” Barbara replies dryly. “Or should I say long time no see. Since it’s been years.”

Jason meanders toward the kitchen counter, noting a few new visible scars on Barbara’s face and arms. When she leverages herself out of her wheelchair and into one of the kitchen chairs, he realizes just how much taller than her he is now. In his last vivid memory of her, he looks up to her free-flowing red hair, her smirk. Now he cants his chin, staring her down as she laces her fingers together and raises an extremely judgemental eyebrow.

“Why didn’t you tell us you were alive,” Barbara demands.

Jason shrugs. “Well, I wasn’t. ‘N’ then I was and you didn’t care, so.”

Barbara scowls, an action so perfectly familiar that Jason tears up again. What is up with him tonight? Just seeing someone that he knew years ago is enough to make him lose it. Jason busies himself with the cupboards, once again hiding his face from her.

“That’s not even remotely funny, Jason.”

Somewhere underneath the lecturing is genuine hurt. Shame she can’t admit to it, maybe then their conversation would be easier to swallow. (Shame Jason can’t, either).

“How would you feel if you grieved someone you cared about only to find out years later that they were alive and never bothered to tell you? I don’t think I’ve seen Dick smile once since w–”

Jason slams a half-drunk can of soda down on the counter. He’d meant to find something better in the fridge, but right now he can’t even remember taking anything from it.

“‘Course this is about fucking Dick.” Jason loses sight of Barbara’s scowl as his vision swims in radioactive green. “You never gave a damn ab–”

“Just because I love him doesn’t mean I don’t care about you!”

Barbara’s interruption is the sort of truth that couldn’t be tortured out of Jason. Despite everything, he smiles. Just a quick tug at the right corner of his mouth, but a smile nonetheless.

“You tell him that?”

“Shut up.” At least Barbara sounds exasperated, not mad. “His ego’s big enough as it is. Don’t try and change the subject. I don’t get what sort of game you’re playing, letting Steph stay over while running Dick and Bruce and ragged, and avoiding me and Alfred, and threatening Ti–”

Just half-mentioning the Replacement’s name floods Jason’s head with violent green rage. The can of soda crumples in his hands. Whatever soda was left spurts onto the marble countertop, fizzing sadly.

“How can you even pretend to care,” Jason challenges, “when the Joker is still alive?”

When Jason’s vision clears fully, Barbara is watching him knowingly from across the counter, over the plastic frame of her glasses. It’s almost pitying, but Jason knows her just a little too well to believe that.

“Why do you think,” Barbara asks, “I haven’t killed the Joker? For what he did to me. It wasn’t even about me. It was all about getting to Bruce.”

For the first time since Jason came back to Gotham, he falters. There’s so many right answers to that question, but none of them feel like Barbara’s answer. Life-changing injuries, for vigilantes, strip away their identity, their sense of worth. How do you remake yourself in the aftermath? How did Barbara do it without ever seeking revenge? Jason genuinely has no idea.

“You didn’t die,” Jason answers gruffly, feeling every ounce of asshole he is.

“There were times I wish he’d killed me,” Barbara counters calmly.

Biting, helpless fear that Jason has not known since he saw his mom’s last needle billows in his lungs. Not Barbara Gordon. Never. She means too much to too many people. She’s survived too much to just give up.

“Fuck that.” Jason grabs two cans of soda from the fridge and slides one over the counter to her. “Don’t let that sack of shit win.”

Barbara cracks open her can, then lifts it to hide a tired smile. “You know that’d be what Bruce killing the Joker would do. Letting him win.”

“Fuck that.” Jason places both palms flat on the counter so he won’t spill this soda. He breathes deeply as the green surges. “They’re not fuckin’ comparable. What Joker’s done and just killing the Joker are not the same. That’s not sinkin’ to his level or whatever bullshit, that’s doing this damn city a favor.”

“Let me ask you a question.” Barbara rubs one hand underneath her glasses, scrubbing a loose eyelash off her face. “I’ll probably never fight again. There’ll be experimental technology holding together my spine for the rest of my life. Do you think he should kill the Joker for that?”

“I’d kill him for you,” Jason answers unthinkingly.

(The thought, if Jason had taken the time to think it, is this: Jason can never say I care about you out loud. Todd men love expressing love through acts of violence. Wayne men love unflinching righteousness and devastating justice. Jason is a little too much of both). It’s the truth, though. There aren’t many people he wouldn’t kill if they’d hurt someone he cares about and if said person would appreciate it. He has a short mental list of people to kill for Dick if he ever thinks it would make Dick feel safer and wouldn't make him feel guilty. He’ll kill all of them before returning a single one of Dick’s calls.

“So. Yes.” Barbara taps a finger against her soda can. “So he should die for causing someone Bruce cares about severe injuries. Then he should kill his old friend Harvey Dent, for what he did to Dick. And Black Mask, for what he did to Steph.” Her gaze drops to the red bat defiantly splayed across Jason’s chest. “The Joker, for you. And then he’d kill you, for what you’re planning to do to Tim. And then himself, for killing you.”

He’d kill you for the Replacement.

Time stands still in that little apartment. Gunpowder, Febreze and sticky sweetness emanates from the sweat-slick surfaces. Jason struggles to breathe, but for once, he doesn’t see green. For the first time, he regrets telling them his ruined plan to teach the Replacement a lesson. It made them change the security of Titan’s Tower, for starters. And it makes him sound like a monster.

“It goes nowhere.” Barbara spreads her hands. “It never ends. Please, Jason. Stop hurting yourself. Stop hurting all of us.”

You know he really misses you.

Please, Little Wing. Come home.

Please, Jason. Stop hurting yourself.

Finally, Jason raises his soda can. “To not letting that sack of shit win.”

“To not letting that sack of shit win.” Barbara quirks a crooked smile and raises her own soda in reply.

They throw back their heads and start chugging in unison. Barbara immediately doubles forward, coughing and choking on soda. She slams the can down on the counter and wipes her mouth clean with the back of her free hand.

“Where’d you find this, the League of Assassins? This tastes like ass.”

“Fuck you! It’s a delicacy!”

So maybe Jason can accept his fate as the “I’d kill for you” member of a “live for me” family. It’s more bearable than the alternative: being alone while they worry over him from afar. He’ll even put his plans for the Replacement on indefinite hold.

Steph continues crashing his midnight angst sessions. Barbara adds him to the system she has set up and makes him swear to call for backup if he needs it. (He agrees, but need is a strong word). Jason doesn’t apologize for not telling them he was alive–he doesn’t know how–but he makes up for it by visiting Dick out in Blüdhaven. He even agrees to meet with Alfred in a popular cafe and returns with his head ringing and an armful of teas and snacks.

Best of all is the (unintentional) chokehold he has on Bruce. All he has to do his bat his eyelashes and say something wistful about never graduating high school and Bruce is falling over himself to make him fake identities. The others are all too willing to keep Bruce out of his business. It’s the perfect set up. Jason never would have guessed, when he first came back, that there was family–new family–waiting for him in Gotham. But between the comforting steadiness of Barbara, her willingness to ream him out, his begrudging fondness for his new hellion little sister, and his tumultuous relationship with a brother he loves, Jason thinks he just might stay.

Sometimes Jason even thinks he might forgive Bruce for not killing the Joker. Maybe not soon, and not for many other flaws that Bruce has yet to sort out, but maybe. All his recent musing on Willis Todd and whether that man ever loved anyone has forced Jason to reconsider his stance on love as violence that he didn’t even know he had.

Maybe he and this crazy family idea will be alright. Maybe he’ll forgive his dad. Forgiveness or lack thereof aside, they’ll always be some kind of father and son, for better or worse.

But the one person who Jason will absolutely not forgive is the Replacement.

Jason still has to deal with the Replacement occasionally. By ‘deal’ he means, of course, that he went to the Replacement’s ugly-ass manor house just to mess with him. Being on good-ish terms with Dick, Steph and Barbara doesn’t mean Jason can’t have some fun. He won’t go through with something like Titans’ Tower, not anymore, but he still can’t stand that arrogant, selfish, entitled little rich brat that wriggled his way into Jason’s family, alright? So he’s going to see for himself just how self-deluded that jumped-up Replacement of his is, sue him.

No matter how entitled, the Replacement still has school. He goes to Gotham Academy, the school Jason died attending, and he’s in the grade Jason never got to finish. It’s not until about 4 pm that the Replacement actually gets home, so Jason shows up at 6 pm, expecting to find the Drakes having dinner. Instead, the parents are absent, and the Replacement is eating takeout in one of the many living rooms, while in the middle of a game of cards.

“Ooh! Burn a card! Burn a card!” The Replacement taunts his opponent, a girl Jason just barely recognizes as Bruce’s newest adopted kid.

The girl–Cassandra, Jason thinks, though he hasn’t learned what her traumatic backstory is yet–scowls and slides a card from the bottom of her hand to the bottom of the pile on the rug.

“Your turn,” the Replacement adds.

Cass plays her top card without looking–an eight of spades–and Tim places a ten of diamonds. Then the game accelerates to a pace Jason struggles to understand. There’s a lot of slapping involved. Mostly it looks like they’re just playing cards one after another, until Cass slams her hand down on top of the pile.

“Wait, what?” The Replacement pushes her hand away and checks the top cards. A three of hearts and a three of spades. “Damn, you’re right. Double.”

This time Cass smirks as she scoops up the whole pile. Jason should probably stop spying from the doorway now. He only came to harrass the Replacement a little, not meet Bruce’s new kid. But then she turns her head and stares directly at him, so Jason shrugs mentally and saunters into the living room. He dumps his gun (one of them) on a comfy looking armchair as a sign of peace.

“So. Bruce’s new kid, huh?”

Cass nods once.

Jason plonks himself down on the coffee table. Legs sprawled, his shoe almost touches their playing cards. He ignores the Replacement staring at him in something akin to awe. It’s in turns enraging, confusing and uncomfortable.

“Lemme guess. Dad was an ax murderer, Mom died when you were young?” When Cass just stares at Jason blankly, the faintest hint of embarrassment creeps up on him. He tries again. “How’d you end up with this band of lunatics?”

Cass shrugs. She looks at the Replacement.

“Her bio dad is David Cain,” the Replacement explains, having the audacity to look something akin to sternly at Jason. “Her bio mom is Lady Shiva and she gave her away at birth, but after she escaped Cain–”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jason snaps, through the roaring green the Replacement’s stern look conjures. “What are you, her social worker? She can tell her own story.”

“Right,” says the Replacement, looking satisfyingly ashamed. “Yeah, of course.”

After a beat of silence, with both boys staring at her, Cass raises her hands. It takes Jason a beat too long to realize she’s explaining her story in ASL. Though explaining is a strong word. She makes the sign that Barbara came up with all those years ago, a combination of the sign for bird and the sign for bat, to mean broadly the Gotham vigilantes. Batman, Robin, all the bats and birds who call Gotham home and each other family. Then she makes the sign for good.

Bats good, Cass says. Then she gives Jason this dead-eyed stare that feels like it’s poking around his soul and seeing all his cringe-fail moments, and asks: Why are you so–? But Jason doesn’t recognize the actual adjective.

“She’s asking why you’re so angry,” the Replacement supplies, since he apparently knows more ASL than Jason does. A fact that Jason definitely does not care about at all.

“I’m not angry,” Jason says, you know, like a liar.

#my writing #my fanfiction #jason todd #batfam #batman #batfamily #drabble #snippet #abandoned cause i lost interest so i'm putting it on tumblr #jason and the girls: the fic basically #my fic #antebunny's ficlets

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nayatarot777 · 10 months ago

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Lilith in Scorpio/8th house

this is intuitive astrology. meaning that i’m making these notes based on what i intuitively pick up about this astrological point being merged with these signs. take it with a grain of salt and understand that you might not relate to everything that i get from your placement 🖤

Astrology Masterlist

scorpio/8th house themes are always surrounding the taboo areas of life: death + birth/rebirth, trauma, debt + taxes, other people’s assets that they give to you (like an inheritance, for example), conscious secrets and fears (not secrets and fears like what you find in pisces/12th house - you don’t realise exist. 8th house secrets and fears are those that you consciously know about but don’t talk about), intimacy, sexuality, shared resources, and power and control.

the first thing that i think of when i see this placement is people shaming you for your traumas. the people who literally get victim blamed for the ways that they’ve been abused, shamed, and oppressed.

you could’ve experienced shame towards the way that you grieve too. towards someone’s death or your own trauma. for some reason, people love to shame you out of purging very real and very valid emotions during the grieving process.

your lilith energy is potent in scorpio/8th house. since this sign and house is the area of taboos, people could literally treat you like you’re a taboo yourself. as if you’re a topic of conversation that shouldn’t be touched on.

this placement could make a lot of people fear you as taboos and the unknown are usually feared - therefore avoided.

^ that’s another point. you’ve probably experienced people avoiding you like the plague. simply because your energy seems ‘dangerous’ or scary in some way.

an obsession with the taboos of society - sex, death, murder - anything that you can think of that society would look at you like you’re crazy for freely talking about.

also indicates a lot of obsession with anything occult. occultism could be where you find your personal power. where you channel your rage from all of the times that you were scapegoated, oppressed, and abused. for example: someone who send dark and baneful magic to those who’ve fucked with them.

you guys have the most potent energy of a man-eater if you’re a woman. this isn’t like lilith in the 1st house/aries in which men will see you as their opponent to challenge. you’re literally seen by them as woman who are threats. threats that they can’t fight or dominate because they wouldn’t even know how to oppose you.

^ again, your feminine energy is one big taboo. and taboos are never ventured into. it’s like trying to fight the darkness. or a ghost. something that you know of but don’t understand and don’t want to. men could never.

if you find yourself suppressing this energy, then you’ll find yourself meeting people and falling victim to people (especially men) who are the worst human beings that you could imagine. murderous-type people. the people who could cause you serious harm. and these are usually men who you end up merging with heavily in relationships (as this is the sign/house of intimacy).

you could face a double dose of shame from yourself for the secrets that you know you carry. especially if they’re sexual secrets.

your sexuality could be very taboo too. i said this in the lilith in taurus/2nd house observations - lilith in scorpio/8th house is a placement that could indicate prostitution. actually having sex with clients in exchange for money, and not just using sex appeal or the image of sex to make money.

^ but random, but if you have lilith in gemini in the 8th house, or your lilith placement just has aspects to 3rd house planets/mercury, you could lead a double life that involves you selling sexual content online. and nobody knows about this.

this placement is also a placement that makes me think of people who marry rich people for the sake of gaining that inheritance money after their spouse dies. you know the young women who marry old men who are knocking at death’s door? yeah 😂

you find a lot of shame from others for your sexuality but a lot of power too. could be into power dynamics in your relationships/deep sexual relationships - like BDSM dynamics.

you have the power to manipulate people into giving you their money/possessions and assets through your sexuality. doesn’t even have to be through sex itself because your sexual energy is POTENT. you hold power over other people’s shit.

you could fear showing femininity in a way. just because you know that - considering the world we live in - femininity is not viewed as something powerful by men. and lilith in scorpio/8th house is all about holding onto power. therefore, you may keep your feminine side a secret to yourself.

could’ve experienced the most shame in long term relationships, after marriage, etc. after you gain a certain level of intimacy with someone, that person turns around and shames you.

and that’s why lilith here is a very prominent placement for experiencing extremely heavy-hitting betrayals. therefore gaining a huge fear of intimacy and being betrayed again.

your sexuality could be very dark. adding onto the sexual secrets, you could have secret kinks and fetishes that you feel like the average person would shame you and demonise you heavily for.

#lilith #scorpio #lilith in scorpio #lilith in the 8th house #astro placements #astrology placements #astro tumblr #astro observations #astro posts #astro notes #astrology

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ninyard · 4 months ago

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I didn't like when andrew said renee was useful?

Like weren't they friends idk it sounded weird

Okay maybe this is me being the big ol Andrew Minyard apologist that I am but I’m not sure he means that in the way that it seems. Prepare yourself for my silly thoughts:

Andrew and Neil got to this place in their conversation by Neil asking how Andrew can be so disconnected from his teammates. Neil feels he has to let them in, let them be his "friends", let them get to know him. So how has Andrew managed to keep them at such a distance, to avoid letting them in? Because he doesn't want to. Andrew just says they're not interesting enough.

Neil is already wondering what's going on between Andrew and Renee at this point. So he sort of backtracks on himself then - Andrew actually has let people stand in, and Renee is one of them.

And Andrew knows everyone is betting on him and Renee. He’s quick with the, “You expected a different answer?” because I think he knows there’s a high likelihood somebody has told Neil about this bet, and given Neil’s “That’s it?” I think he could also tell that Neil thought that him and Renee could’ve been a thing (or at least that that was the only way he could make sense of their relationship).

Andrew is quick. We know he is. So I think he would've realised exactly what Neil was curious about when he mentioned her name and then said "She's not interesting?" (Which really means “Is she different?” Or “Are you actually more than that and not saying it?”)

Then right after that, there's this -

Andrew thinks it's obvious. Andrew calls him stupid, Andrew mocks him. Andrew knows why he's asking about Renee. He thinks Neil is stupid for not realising why it wont happen. He lets Neil squirm for a bit because Renee is his friend, even if he won't say that, and this just opens up the opportunity for Neil to actually talk to her.

I think he said "She's useful," because he's not going to say "She's just my friend," or "She's like me," or whatever else he could've said. Andrew is not the type of guy to turn around to Neil’s question and say ACTUALLY you are right! My friend Renee IS interesting! I forgot about her!

I think that's literally Andrew's way of saying she is his friend. Also, bearing it in mind that he's still medicated at this point - I don't think he means it in the way of "she's not my friend, she's just useful to me", but instead means it like "she just my friend, nothing more, and she's useful.” I think it’s a meaningless throwaway way to describe her. But even if he did mean it, he doesn’t mean it in a negative way. Not “Yeah. She’s useful I guess. She does things but that’s about it” but “Yeah, Renee is useful. She’s there if I need her” instead.

Does that make sense?

(And also; it’s Andrew we’re talking about. He tells Neil he hates him. I don’t think him saying that about Renee is to be taken too seriously)

But

I do actually think in some ways he means it when he says she’s useful. Renee is useful to Andrew.

She’s the only person on the team who has related to him. She the only person, before Neil, who even had the slightest idea about what Andrew had been through. Renee is useful in the way that she’s someone for him to relate to. He sees himself in her, and her the same. They understand each other. Which is probably likely a first for him. Shes spars with him. She’s his wingwoman. She’s his friend. She cares about him. She talks to him like he’s a human. (She makes him feel like less of a monster) ((not that he cares)) She’s always covered for him in the goals, too, when he’s been too sick to play. I’d say that’s pretty useful.

Idk. I’m pulling things out of nowhere because I’m too tired to think but. Yeah I think Renee is actually useful to Andrew, but I also think Andrew is Andrew and he says things he doesn’t mean, or says things that actually mean something else ALL THE TIME. So i don’t think him saying Renee is “useful” is anything demeaning against her. I think he’s winding Neil up because he knows where his line of questioning is going/coming from.

#what a ramble I’m so sorry #ask #mine #Renee walker #Andrew minyard #im exhausted I have no idea if this is coherent at all

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caustinen · 5 months ago

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Loving your Hollywood Clegan AU so much!

Curious though...how do they transition when their relationship becomes public? Are there any issues with fan backlash? Or being an openly gay actor? What about the increased paparazzi attention or stalkerish fans? :O

Hello lovely person!! As usual this got a bit long but I hope it answers the question a bit at least 😂💘

To start off with, I usually reimagine my fics in worlds that don’t have homophobia because I personally don’t enjoy writing it/making it a plot point, there’s so much amazing art in all forms dealing with it that it doesn’t feel like trying to erase a very real problem/ignore it because obviously it unfortunately is a big part of queer experience for a lot of people, it’s just that I like to imagine worlds where that isn’t a factor just so there’s also places to escape that, esp in silly fanfiction that I write – that’s what I also enjoy to read as a queer person myself! So while it would definitely give this au a lot of depth, I’m at least not right now including that in these replies <3

As for the other stuff, I have not thought about it a lot even though these should be kinda the main questions for this au… So let’s think about it!

Paparazzi – John dislikes paparazzi as much as anyone but Gale despises them. He finds it a bit invasive but kind of a “part of the job” con for John and later their relationship in the public when it happens when arriving to/leaving events, but when he first catches someone taking his picture while leaving the gym or his office he gets very antsy. This creates some tensions for a bit as John understands his stress but also feels like they talked about it beforehand and now he can’t really do anything about it. When they’re out together and they spot paparazzi John always tries to block Gale from the sight, pull him behind himself or guide them some other way. They love to travel and it’s also easier to avoid being spotted when they’re away from LA/New York. It’s bad for the first few months but eventually the attention on them eases up a bit and they can go back to the new normal with only occasional encounters with the paparazzi; Gale also grows more accustomed to it and knows how to dress to and act to hide & make it a bit less intense.

Fan backlash – I think this would be an interesting thing to explore. Even though a lot of the fans are just happy for John, there are also some who have become too parasocial/illusioned about him after being fans for years (and he is a heartthrob and charming and widely accepted as “boyfriend material”) that they get upset when the relationship is revealed, starting to talk shit on social media about John never having been genuine and has only been lying to his fans meaning he never actually cared about them, and through that getting to insult his work and that they only went to see it because he’s hot but now it’s ruined. John was also shipped with a lot of his previous castmates and some shippers are also upset and saying he “setteled” for Gale who’s “just an ordinary office worker” when he could’ve had a flashy Hollywood Romance – while many see his fiancés shyness and soft-spokeness in public as adorable, some say he doesn’t match John’s vibe at all, and the fact that John also seems different with him is not a good thing and they start to psychoanalyze their relationship. John couldn’t care less for some angry comments on his insta but some of the hate is directed towards Gale, and he’s a bit taken aback when he starts to receive DM’s telling him to leave John immediately and accusing him of manipulating him into a relationship with “someone like him”. John is obviously very upset by all of this but Gale reminds him that he’s seen it all at work and can handle himself.

Stalkers – The other extreme of Gale haters would then be the people who get like way into him real fast, he’s beloved by the masses, sure, but these people are more like a cult (probably of the similar style of fan as the one’s who turn against John in the previous point, like highkey parasocial behavior but when John starts to date publicly it’s like “no, he’s OUR boyfriend” but not in a funny way you know). The line is blurred to some people what it means that John revealed he has a partner, it’s not a ”new part of him” but a real person of his own that happens to be dating their favorite actor, and this gets lost on some people who start to treat him almost like he was Bucky’s pet (idk if this makes any sense but like as if he was just a cute little thing he can post pics about and doesn’t really have an agency of their own AND the fans feel like they ”know him” when they actually know nothing about him except that he’s dating their idol). Gale’s not expecting to get any “fans” of his own, so he’s a bit weary when he’s asked to take pics with people without John or given stuff on red carpets etc, and especially when people really cross boundaries and try to gift him/them like condoma or sex toys or lingerie (I’m thinking of that one interview where they showed Austin his fan merch and there was the thong with his face on it and I’m thinking someone gifting a similar one of Bucky to him and him being absolutely horrified) or something else kinda projecting their own fantasies into them, or playing it off as a joke while it’s actually really distrurbing — just because they’re out doesn’t mean the relationship opened for other people to comment on. Then of course there’s just the usual internet hellhole-stuff, people start sending him really inappropriate messages about his body/looks/what they’d want to do to him given the chance that he maybe didn’t expect because he doesn’t believe John when he tells him that’s like notably attractive. I could also imagine for example a moment where someone approaches them when they’re leaving an event or something and Gale is being professional and polite but the other person is really overstaying their welcome/not following social cues but talking to him like a friend would and when John tries to politely lead them onwards the “fan” grabs Gale’s arm or something and it causes a small scene. Gale is stressed in these situations mostly because he fears how they’ll reflect on John’s image if he’s presented as being rude to fans but luckily these are rare occasions.

Despite all of this, they both are happy that the relationship is public, there are more pros than cons for being able to build their future together without having to be each others dirty little secrets (idk why but it came to my mind now that Gale is so the type that since he couldn’t always tell people he had a partner, everyone would either hit on him or try to match him with someone because “how is someone that pretty single?!” and this would annoy the hell out of Bucky despite him being the one with millions of options at any given moment, i like some jealous bucky :D)

Hope this was satisfactory!! Any more ideas to these scenarios? I’m so used to doing just fluff/smut so this was a fun challenge, thank you! <3

#hollywood au #buck x bucky #clegan #mota #buck #bucky #writing

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maxzinn · 7 months ago

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What bothers me after all this drama is that those users that made the posts calling out the type of fics they were bothered with, didnt actually include like a list of those fics (probably to avoid an entire purge and hatred), and everyone in the comments of those posts just suddenly at a flip of a switch, all could only think about one. single. story...and that was the 2 part fic from the now deactivated account.

So for a fic which diverges from canon by having Aventurine NOT go through the entire rollercoaster of drama and be given a chance at a normal life, everyone and their mother jumped to bully the writer. Please, gimme a break, he could've still become the same charismatic gambler we all know and love, just he would've had an oh idk- a little support system given by the person that got him out of a much crappy life? Seriously, how many fics AREN'T out there which diverge at one point from canon?! Or, even better, ignore the canon completely and they are their own thing! HOW MANY- A LOT OF THEM ARE!

It's like they were bothered that there can be a "what if Aventurine was saved before he went through the rest of that hell?", as if his canon story is the only thing that matters and shouldn't be changed at all - THE MAN IS IN SHAMBLES. HE WANTED TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM LIFE. And I cant be the only one who doesnt believe that him, as he grow up, didn't wish for someone to come to his aid, to take him out of there, but the more time passed, the more hope he lost and he just "well, guess I'll do this on my own". He. Has. No. One. To. Talk. To. Without. Him. Hidding. Behind. The. Persona. He. Created. No one.

Anon you have said exactly everything that I wanted to hear ‼️

(They all started this mess so I’m not gonna stop till I get my point straight across their faces)

These people CANNOT tell me that Aventurine didn’t want to be saved. They CANNOT tell me he didn’t hope for a helping hand throughout this whole hell.

The IPC had failed him and his race from the very beginning when they failed to protect Sigonia IV and the Avgins from the Katicans, and yet I still see people saying that creating a fic where he was saved is disregarding his effort in surviving like pls- my girl… he wanted to DIE to be with his family again and he’s literally in the clutches of the very same company that FAILED him and his kind. His life is literally in their hands and NO ONE would ever want to be at the mercy of the very same people who failed you.

He’s tired. He thinks so lowly of himself. He thinks he has no worth. He has no self-esteem.

All of that could’ve been avoided if someone had helped him, way before his neck was branded by the slave mark, or even during the time he was enslaved.

Like you said, there are already tons of fics that diverts from the canon story of the character into something that is almost disregarding it, so why is that an issue now?

We all love him the way he is, but don’t you think it’s also insensitive to say that when he himself hated the process or events that transpired to become what he is now?

I give him credit for his hardwork and efforts for staying alive and getting past the hell, but that cost him EVERYTHING. He survived, but he thinks so lowly of himself. He still think he’s only worth 60 tanbas. He didn’t refute Ratio and Sparkle’s insult. He throws his own body on every gamble because he thinks that’s his only worth… and now a simple harmless fic that aimed to provide him a normal life free from that tragedy was frowned upon by everyone just because the reader “bought him as a slave”.

#aventurine x reader #aventurine #hsr aventurine #shame on those people who bullied that author #this is just unreasonable #y’all talk about morals then bullies the heck out of people

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rosakuma · 2 months ago

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DRDT Ep 15 Thoughts and Analysis on The Culprit(HUGE SPOILERS)

Me thinking that Eden was the killer before this episode or thinking that Hu could still be the killer:

Okay so I owe Eden an apology, sorry girlie but at the time you just seemed really suspicious with how you been acting in some areas. Plus evidence at the time. But I also I guess I underestimated Ace here.

I’ll admit that like others, I was one of the people who thought Ace wouldn’t be able to do the murder because of his knowledge. But to be fair, I only thought about it because logically:

How would he commit murder or thought about how Nico’s method work right as he almost died!?

Why would be take the tape?

How did he get the fricken turpentine or take the clothes?

But I guess I didn't take in account of:

He might’ve just pretended to be unconscious longer

He would’ve thought of about the method more after the attempt

The tape was used to bandage his neck

He just stragulated Arei to death since he’s strong enough to do so(even though I'm still confused as shouldn’t he be weak from being malnourished?!) and just needed it look like a suicide to frame Nico.

I guess Eden, Teruko, and Hu left the old clothes alone in the dress up room

Like literally J was me when she said that earlier in the trial and I can't blame her, I thought it made sense too!

But god it still hurts that he’s the killer. I mean I’m going to be honest here y’all…I didn't get super attached to Ace until ep13 as while I did feel bad for him before of almost being murdered, it didn't hit me how bad his situation was…

Ace Markey I think(and this might just me me or controversial take) is the most tragic Danganronpa fangan killer out there with how much his life is tragic in this killing game. From what we got so far, Ace’s life before the killing game wasn't great. He felt like he had no control over it with being force into a career/talent he hates. That he can’t do anything else because he sucks at anything else. Being stuck with being good at his worse fear of horses. And from what we know little about the only person he could ever called his friend(Taylor), it seems that he lost the only person who gave a shit about him while stuck in that life he was given.

He honestly doesn't have anything to really go back to if his life would’ve still been bad, but maybe Ace just wanted to live. To live out of fear of dying young, of dying with noting he achieved that he could be proud of. Of dying alone and having lived an shitty life forced upon him(perhaps from his family) without having a chance to see if it was possible for him to get out of that life and his self sabotaging behavior.

I think the worse part of all of this is how this could’ve been avoided if not for Ace’s environment in the killing game causing this. With said environment being of these individuals:

Teruko(a bit)- If Teruko didn't saying how Ace would probably not make it in this killing game, he probably wouldn't have been starting to be paranoid about this.

Veronika- If Veronika never pointed out that Ace could be killed because of people targeting him for how he’s been of being hot headed and loud mouth, along with encouraging his paranoia. Ace wouldn’t have believe this to be true.

Nico- If Nico didn't take things far and try to kill Ace, rather than just talk to someone about Ace’s behavior towards him to where they could’ve talk it out or someone discipline him(but not kill him of course), then Ace would’ve never had his fears proven true. Nor would he have copied Nico’s murder method and try framing them and Eden (kinda ironic since Nico was trying to frame Hu before Ace did this).

Hu- If Hu would’ve just stop taking sides out of favoritism and cared about stopping Nico and Ace on both of their sides. Ace would’ve never done this nor would Nico. Actually she makes me the most piss at her as she f*cking still defended Nico AFTER THEY TRIED KILLING ACE AND EVEN IN THE TRIAL TOO WHEN THEY ADMITTED TO IT! I'm sorry, but I think this episode and trial made me a Hu hater. I don't hate her enough to want her dead of course, but she makes me furious how much trouble she cause. I hope she reflects from this after Ace is gone.

Arturo(technically)- Im putting him here as if Arturo never tried threatening Eden and causing Arei to bust in to save Eden, Ace would’ve never eavesdrop on them. Thus causing him to try to frame Eden.

David- And David…oh David, I hate the fact I actually believed in you for seeing Arei’s body first and thinking Eden was guilty. I may feel bad you lost Arei, but it's your f*cking fault because you decided to make everyone try to reveal their secrets and that just caused more harm than good. I'm glad that even if it bite him in the butt in the end, I am glad Ace revealed your secret you’re a lying scumbag piece of sh*t. Good luck with losing your career while coping with the fact you lost potentially the only person who ever understood you because you had to know everyone’s secrets :)

Sorry y’all Im just really emotional rn and angry at David and Hu

I think J said it best that with everyone never thought about the breaking point of someone. That maybe they took things too far and failed to prevent this.

But yet that still doesn't accuse murder. Ace knows that of course though and he still feels shitty about it. I'm sure Nico will have to live with the fact that even if they didn't get to kill Ace in the hand by their own hands, they still technically killed him anyways because thanks to their attempt, he got inspired and tried getting back at them because Ace never got the justice of them getting away consequence free. To be comforted and shown concern at the time he needed it most.

I can understand why Ace murder Arei as I feel like while he saw it as a good opportunity to frame two people and get away with it, I think he also did it because of how similar they are. Yet different

Ace knows that Arei wanted to change her ways and be better. With being reached out to by David and Eden, she felt hope that maybe she could be better despite still having doubts she could because of the impossible pillar to reach to be that. But even then, she still felt like she could change after finding out that David is a scumbag like her. Ace however felt that he couldn't change. He already felt like his life couldn't be before and with no one reaching a hand to him in this terrible situation. What else could he do? He can't change his job, his personality, his life…. He has no idea what to do with himself anymore

This got me thinking. Maybe…maybe in another timeline or universe, perhaps if Ace just heard the entire conversation between Arei and David. He could’ve realize it doesn't matter if he is a shitty person or he started out bad in a life he couldn't control. That he can become less shitty if he tried and hey! He’s not alone, Arei and David feels the same way. I think perhaps if Ace didn't jump the gun and killed Arei, she would’ve maybe tried reaching out to Ace. I mean, if she was able to see how David was a shitty person like her, I think she would’ve recognize Ace is too. Arei did take noticed how thanks to David making everyone share their secrets it just caused more trouble, one of the most noticable being Ace and Nico. It pains me thinking how Arei probably could’ve saved Ace if Ace wasn't doomed by everyone else and acted on paranoia. I at least hope before he dies, that maybe either Levi or Eden(god bless you Eden for feeling for him even tho he killed your potential bestie/maybe gf) can make him know that someone at least cared about him and remember his death as it affected them deeply.

Also I'm manifesting Arei and Ace being best friends/besties propaganda. Mostly to cope but also I think Arei would reach out to Ace and maybe in the afterlife, help him be less shitty with her together. Whether may it be for the rest of their afterlife or maybe their next lives💙❤️

I need this content as its going to take me a while to mourn his death and the emotional anguish this chapter put me through.

#danganronpa despair time #drdt spoilers #ace markey #arei nageishi #eden tobisa #drdt ace #drdt arei #Drdt

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faramirsonofgondor · 1 year ago

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I hate that Ted is portrayed as a kind, caring, good coach. I’m not saying he hasn’t been kind or caring to the team and others, but I hate a lot of the decisions he makes. He’s such a non-confrontational person, to the point where he never addresses the problems the team has, which is a part of being a coach. He’s supposed to manage the team, which means making sure the team dynamic runs smoothly and the players aren’t having any problems. Yet he tasks Roy, who has shown himself to be an emotionally stunted, angry person, with making sure Colin and Isaac stop bothering Nate and getting Jamie’s attitude in check. And then he repeatedly tries to force Roy and Jamie into bonding with each other, treating Jamie like he’s the antagonist in the situation (which he sometimes is) despite the fact that Roy is in a clear position of power over Jamie and Roy himself doesn’t exactly treat Jamie with respect or kindness.

He lets Jamie’s behavior build up, and tries to get Jamie to like him and sweet talk him into behaving (the whole ‘ur such a good player but ur one of 11’ speech). Then, when Jamie still continues with his bad behavior, he gets into Jamie’s personal space and yells in his face while towering over him in front of the team . Even though Ted didn’t know about Jamie’s father, this was still a completely inappropriate course of behavior. If one of my coworkers was being rude and messing up the workplace dynamic and I saw my boss yell in their face like that, I would be immediately heading to HR. And when Ted benches Jamie after Roy tries to attack him??? Yes what Jamie did was fucked up but Roy was acting like a fucking dickhead too. And it was probably sending mixed messages to Jamie, because there Ted was acting all nice and kind and being placating about Jamie’s attitude, then suddenly Jamie’s being benched and then Ted’s yelling at him with no warning. Like if Ted has just said from the beginning that Jamie’s behavior was unacceptable and if he kept acting like a ball hog and a bad teammate then he would be benched, I think Jamie would’ve probably stopped acting like a fucking prick. But instead of setting clear boundaries, he avoided the issue and then had an outburst when he wasn’t getting the results he wanted.

It doesn’t just happen in season 1 either, there are moments scattered throughout the whole show where Ted ultimately fails to do his job and act like an actual boss to the team. I understand, in part, that some of this is probably caused by toxic masculinity and ‘sports culture’ but it still doesn’t excuse his actions, or inactions. He lies about Jamie coming back (even if it wasn’t technically a lie at the time), then he does nothing to help Jamie adjust to being back on the team while everyone hates him (the ‘Led Tasso’ bit was not an appropriate form of help). He brings Roy back as a coach, then does nothing about Roy’s unprofessionalism and refusal to coach Jamie. He doesn’t even offer any meaningful advice to Jamie about it. It shouldn’t have been a situation that Jamie had fix by himself. Ted, as the one in charge, should’ve pulled Roy aside and talked to him about it (it irks me to this day that pulled Roy aside about Trent but not about Jamie). He doesn’t say anything about Nate, who revealed private information to the press, and allows Nate to keep coaching. Like did he not even think about the fact that Nate could’ve potentially told the press information about other people on the team???

And then in Season 3 he ignores Jamie’s complaints about Zava, and lets the entire coaching staff insult and belittle him for being worried about the team’s dynamic. He ignores the fact that Jamie was right about the dynamic getting messed up. He never apologizes or acknowledges it after Zava leaves either. When Isaac went after that homophobe, he just told Isaac to chill out and not take it seriously when Isaac was legitimately upset, once again ignoring the issue and focusing on the wrong thing. If someone I knew had attacked someone who was shouting slurs at them, telling them they fucked up while they were still clearly upset wouldn’t be my first, nor my second, nor third or fourth or fifth reaction. AND AFTER EVERYTHING TED HAS THE AUDACITY TO TELL JAMIE TO FORGIVE HIS FATHER???? Like I understand it was Jamie’s choice to contact his dad and that Ted never told him too, but did Ted literally just never once consider the fact that the advice he was giving him might put him in danger? Not even just physically, but mentally as well?

I just think Ted is so focused on trying to keep people happy that he misses the fact that sometimes you have to confront and feel your negative emotions in order to get to the core of a problem.

I just hate it when media portrays characters a certain way, to the point where they’re practically shouting ‘look at him, he’s so nice and kind and he’s never done anything wrong’ and then have the character make shitty decisions and never resolve or confront the mistakes they made?? They never get any consequences??

That being said, I don’t view Ted as a completely horrible or evil person either, just someone with a lot of flaws that I wish were more acknowledged. He can be a good person and he has helped some of the people on the team, but he’s also hurt them in some ways and that’s never really addressed.

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #roy kent #sam obisanya #isaac mcadoo #forgiveness #child abuse #media #character analysis #plot analysis

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m2ok · 2 years ago

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As Icarus loved the sun

König X M!reader

A/N: part two of Of Icarus in love :) enjoy the fluff y’all 🫶 PS: my bad if the pacing is weird, I kinda rushed the end because I was excited to get this posted.

One

You had avoided Ghost since you’d figured out what he and Johnny had. You couldn’t say it was easy, it most certainly wasn’t. It was hard to even ignore him considering you were on the same team, and it was hard to find a spot you could hangout with the others where he wasn’t.

You didn’t know if he noticed your absence, and you were trying not to care if he did. So what if you didn’t hangout with them as much anymore? It wasn’t really any of their business, you had your own secrets just as they had theirs.

To cope with the heartache and the guilt of disregarding most of your team, you threw yourself head first into work. While you waited for orders for a new mission you worked on whatever paper work you had, you worked on uncovering leads, you worked on tracking down targets, hell you even worked on getting the little offices more paper. Anything to get your mind off of your current social predicament.

You knew it couldn’t last long, but you wished you could’ve hidden out for two more days at least. Now you were sat around a little meeting room as Price ran through your current mission. You were zoned out, at least for most of it. You caught the important bits like what you were to be doing, and who you needed to capture. All of that was locked away in the sanctity on your mind, but everything else was gone with the wind. You were focusing too hard on not breaking down in front of your comrades, god you’d never let yourself live that down.

You only caught the last part, and even then it was just half of whatever Price had been saying

“-And you’ll be working with a new addition to the team this time” he said as he passed a file around

“He’ll be with us for a few missions, nothing long term. Just need his skills for a bit and then we’ll send him right on back” he assured, knowing most of the boys didn’t take too well to a new member of the team.

You remember it took months to even be friends with them, except Gaz. He was easy to befriend and you probably considered him your best friend as of late. That made you feel even worse, knowing he kept sending worried glances your way. You should talk to him, maybe later.

You looked at the file once it got passed down to you, flipping through the various papers. Insertion specialist, wanted to be a sniper, you looked at all the basics.

You stopped when you got to the personal information. 6’9, god damn he was a tall guy. You were used to tall men, being on the 141 team and all, but this guy would tower over you. Over all of you.

You closed the file and passed it on, your thoughts slowly shifting towards König. You wondered what he was like, how his social anxiety affected his performance on the battlefield. You assumed not much considering he was steadily rising in the ranks.

You were informed at the end of the meeting that König should be landing any minute, and that he would be unpacking in his room should anyone want to go say hello. You glanced around at the table, most of the boys seemed uninterested at the prospect and so you decided that you would be the new guys welcoming committee.

You knew how it felt to join a new team, and you wanted König to know that he had someone in his corner should he need it. You remembered how lonely the first couple of weeks were, and even if he wasn’t here permanently you still wanted him to be comfortable.

It was maybe an hour later when you heard a helicopter land and the mumbled introductions of a Captain and his new teammate. It was maybe forty five minutes later when you decided to go say hi, figuring that the man had been alone for long enough.

You knocked on the open door, letting him know you were there. The man jumped like you’d spooked him, something you couldn’t help but find funny considering the inches he had on you, before turning around. Masks weren’t anything new to you, so you paid almost no mind to it before you spoke

“Hey” you gave him a soft smile, his wide eyed staring at you as he held a shirt in his hands.

“I just came to welcome you. I doubt the other boys came to say their hellos so…here I am” you chuckled nervously as you rubbed the back of your neck.

“I’m Y/N by the way. Konig , right?” You questioned to which you saw his eyes crinkle slightly, almost like he was smiling.

“König, actually, but you were close” he hummed before he set the shirt down in its proper drawer.

“Right- König. Don’t worry I’ll remember that, I’m a fast learner” you grinned, you liked the new guy already. He seemed nice, agreeable. Perhaps soon you’d be able to add a new friend to your little list.

“Well, I’ll let you get back to it.” You said as you turned to leave, stopping once you were halfway out the door to face him again.

“The rest of the team isn’t that easy to talk too, nice guys, but closed off. So, if you ever need someone to talk to I’m right down the hall. Last door on your left can’t miss it” you gave the door frame two taps before heading out.

You heard a faint little “thank you” as you left, a small smile gracing your lips as you headed back to your own bunker.

You found it easy to talk to König after that. You’d save him a seat in the cafeteria, he’d sit with you. Most nights spent in the common room were now spent somewhere quieter, where you could talk to each other without the others around. And you worked well together on missions, honestly well was an understatement. You guys were basically a dream team.

You didn’t know what it was, but you and König just clicked. It was like you’d known each other for years despite it only being a couple of weeks at most. He understood the complicated emotions no one else seemed to, he could tell from just a glance at your face how you were feeling, you two were thick as thieves.

This new found friendship also helped to take your mind off a certain Britt and Scotsman, you hadn’t thought about them nearly as much as you used to. Sure, you had the occasional late night heartache where you relived the moment all over again, but you weren’t consumed with the thoughts. You felt free again. For the most part at least.

It was one of those nights where you couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was the post-mission adrenaline running around in your body, maybe you’d had one too many cups of coffee, you weren’t sure, but for whatever reason your mind just wouldn’t stop racing. It went all over, but it kept coming back to that day. You had been pining after Simon for years, and within a matter of seconds any hope you had of a relationship with the man was thrown down the drain. You didn’t blame either of them, it wasn’t their fault, but god did it sting.

You were tired of feeling this way, of feeling your heart tighten in your chest every other minute because your brain just wouldn’t leave you alone. Without much thinking you rose from your bed and quietly made your way out of your room and down the hall.

Before you could stop yourself you were knocking on Königs door. You only got two in before it was swinging open. It never took long for him to answer, you were really the only person that knocked so he always knew who it was.

“Hi…” you said quietly as you looked up at him. His mask was haphazardly thrown over his head as he looked down at you.

“I know it’s late, but I can’t sleep. Do you….think I could hangout here for a bit?” You asked. He only responded with a nod, clearly still sleepy as he let you in.

You felt slightly guilty for waking him, but that was soon gone as the familiarity of his room soothed your nerves. You sat down on his bed, the spot next to you dipping under his weight as he laid back down.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked quietly, reaching over to gently put his hand on top of yours. You guys had a thing for these little touches, shoulder pats here and there, his hand going to just graze yours when the room would get a little too frenzied with people. It was this silent understanding that you were that for each other, that you knew what the other needed.

With a deep sigh to flopped back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“You ever liked someone so much that it physically hurt?” You questioned, your gaze fixed on the ceiling.

He looked over at you, staring at your face for a few seconds. With a little forced smile, he nodded his head

“Yeah. I do-I have” he replied.

“I don’t know…” you mumbled “it’s not even that I like him anymore, it’s just that I spent so long thinking about him that I don’t know what to do with myself now. I guess..I guess I felt like he was my only option ya know?” You said with a dry little laugh.

“Hm. What’s that English saying? Theres plenty of fish in the sea, yeah? You’ll find someone” he reached down to hold your hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.

“But I don’t interact with really anybody outside the team, and I doubt I’ll meet some civie anytime soon. It feels like it’s a lost cause, besides who would want to be with someone who’s constantly away anyways? I mean-”

“Me” he cut you off.

It was like he replied without thinking, he said it so fast you weren’t even sure if you heard it. You could tell by his own reaction that he’d just blurted it out, too. You could see how his cheeks were flushed from the little bit of skin under his eyes. He was frozen in place, his hand letting go of yours as you stared at each other.

You certainly hadn’t expected his confession, and it made you realize a whole bunch of new feelings really quickly. You hadn’t taken much time to consider your relationship with König, you were too wrapped up in how blissful is was. You should’ve seen it earlier, it was probably clear as day to everyone else with the way you two clung to each other.

“Me?” You questioned as you pointed to yourself, almost like you didn’t believe him.

He gave you a slow nod “you” he replied as he sat up, gently pulling you up with him.

“I’m..sorry if I came on too quickly. It’s just we were talking and I couldn’t help myself- I was planning on telling you at some point, but I didn’t know how and I didn’t want to make our friendship weird. Plus I’ll be going back soon, so I don’t-“

Now it was your turn to cut him off. He was rambling, about to spiral himself into a panic and you were sure your words alone weren’t going to be able to break through.

So you kissed him. It was soft, your lips just barely touching his as the mask was lifted just above his mouth. You slowly pulled away to be met with wide eyes, his hand coming up to touch his lips.

Within seconds he was pulling you in for another, but this time it was a real kiss. It was still soft and gentle, but he was pouring all of his love into it. He carefully maneuvered you around so you were sitting in between his spread legs, your own resting on top of his thighs while he kept his hands on your waist.

When you pulled away again you both had goofy little smiles on your faces, like teenagers after kissing their crush for the first time.

“I..didn’t really think about it before, but I feel the same way. About you- I mean. I like you. We get along well…plus your kissing isn’t that bad” you teased.

“Good-good yes that’s good. Yours is good too- I liked it. I like kissing you” he was stumbling over his words, his nerves getting the better of him as his grip on your waist tightened ever so slightly.

“Yeah?” You chuckled, cupping his face as you leaned in to kiss him again “you’ll be getting a lot more of it now” you mumbled against his lips before pushing him to lay down on the bed.

You moved next to him, moving yourself so his head was resting on your chest with his arms still hugging your waist. You tangled your legs together, holding the man close to you as you pressed a little kiss to his covered forehead.

You supposed Ghost being unavailable wasnt all bad, perhaps a blessing in disguise really, because now you had your König. Your König who knew all of your little quirks, your König who kept you going through those sleepless nights. Your König who loved you back. Your king.

As always, requests are open

#cod modern warfare #cod x reader #cod fanfic #cod imagine #cod x male reader #male reader #könig x reader #könig #könig call of duty #könig x y/n #könig x you #könig x male reader #fanfic

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moodymisty · 6 months ago

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I know people make jokes like “I can fix him” on konrad x reader fics. But now that I think about it, the fics that you write have less of an “I can fix him” vibe and more of an “I can love him so much that it changes the course of his entire narrative” vibe. And by narrative I mean the bad- future prophesies that he’s running towards tunnel vision style. And to be honest, it’s not like it would be impossible to do that. The main reason for why he goes forward with creating the most negative future for himself is because of sunk cost fallacy, if he chooses a different path now then all of the torturing and maiming and murder was for nothing, then all of it was meaningless violence when there could’ve been a thousand ways to deal with those situations more kindly and peacefully. And in his eyes this would mean that he’s an irredeemable monster, so when faced with that possibility in canon I’m pretty sure that he has a mental breakdown (though don’t quote me on it).

So I feel like in a universe where he has someone who loves him theres a possibility for him to start questioning his logic. If he was wrong about the future you’d still stay with him, and that’s not how people treat an irredeemable monster, right? He’d be your beloved even if the cruelty was all for nothing, and I think that would really throw him for a loop. Because suddenly there’s less of that need to follow through with a grimdark future (though not fully, he’d need years to unlearn all of it) when he sees that not all is lost for him. Like hmm perhaps it’s better to admit that you were wrong and to do better next time instead of getting assassinated to (badly) prove your point that you never did anything wrong ever? Who knows??

Also I believe that he’d avoid futures where you get hurt/killed or even actively try to prevent them from happening. But that doesn’t have anything to do with what I was talking about before, this is just good old fashioned hypocrisy

It’s personal preference where I prefer the vibe of Konrad still being a nightmare, and that while he loves his beloved, he also drains them dry of any hope and love. He’s unfixable, but dammit do you try anyways even if it breaks your back.

And adversely Konrad when faced with someone who doesn’t inadvertently or on purpose fuel his martyr complex, completely crumbles into this wet excuse of a man who’s never actually felt any real love. Actually having someone there for him even if it’s after everything that’s happened to him would probably change his overall attitude a decent bit. He never saw you in his future, so maybe the future leaves some things out? Maybe every part of his life isn’t so set in stone? Or maybe you’re outside of his future, and accident, a change in his path.

He’d absolutely do anything to prevent your death. No matter how extreme the measure he would do it.

Now if your death is caused by him? … he has trouble processing that one without breaking down.

#Misty’s book club #reply #Konrad curze x reader

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berriweb · 1 year ago

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do you think you could do a platonic miles and y/n where the reader comes out as lesbian? like y/n hasn’t told anyone and she’s been struggling abt it and kinda closing off to miles. and how miles would react. if u can’t it’s ok! and thanks if you do :)

╰┈➤ ❝ that’s it? ❞

: ̗̀➛ ft. miles morales x fem! reader

: ̗̀➛ synopsis. reader comes out to miles as lesbian

: ̗̀➛ a/n. my mind and soul simply gravitated to this request as soon as I saw it and instantly knew what to write I love it sm

n/n — nickname

Miles knew something was seriously up from the moment you asked to come over.

He was no expert at reading people or knowing what to do when it came to comforting someone, he couldn’t sense what was going through someone’s head or guess what emotions they were feeling from a glance, but he had been your best friend long enough to know you, and by association when there was something wrong and you weren’t telling him.

In the beginning Miles didn’t worry too much when you stopped wanting to hang out as often, it was around finals season and he wouldn’t have been surprised if it was because you were busy with school. He had his fair share of times where he’d been flaky due to his own personal matters (mostly due to Spider-Man business), he wasn’t going to take it personally, but then you started getting distant.

Scratching off his first assumption, he came to the conclusion that maybe something had happened to you instead. Trouble at home, a bad friend, a crush gone wrong? He’d tried going through every bad scenario in his head but none seemed applicable, and with you starting to close yourself off from him it was getting harder and harder for him to find out. He didn’t want to come off as too strong so he started to resort to subtly hinting that you could talk to him whenever the two of you would hang out.

Or at least he believed it was subtle, but awkwardly suggesting that the two of you start confessing anything that’s been trouble you, then insisting you go first and repeating how he was there to listen wasn’t exactly keeping his intentions low-key. Still, the effort was there and it was clear he had no ill will and was doing his best to try to help, but to no avail. When that eventually lead to you starting to avoid him all together unless unavoidable, Miles came to the conclusion that he must’ve done something.

N/N: ‘Can I come over?’

He felt his mouth dry as he stared down at the message that’d only just appeared in his recent notifications.

Miles had been cooped up in his room after the school day, hunching over his desk drawing for what was likely hours to occupy his hands and distract his mind. It’d only been a few weeks since the two of you had a proper conversation, but to him it might as well have been an eternity. By that point he’d accepted the fact that he’d been in the wrong and would simply have to wait for you to want to speak with him again to get a chance to properly apologize, but nevertheless he was still caught off guard when you suddenly texted him that afternoon wanting just that.

He frowned at his phone, sitting slouched in his chair and hastily tapping his marker against his desk. Even then, Miles could sense the abnormality in your tone with the dry message you’d sent, and he couldn’t help but silently wonder what could’ve possibly went wrong to warrant it.

After debating for what was probably far too long about how to respond, he chose what he assumed to be the safe route and sent a small ‘yep’ and a thumbs up emoji.

He didn’t bother to elaborate on anything else, by this point the two of you had hung out so often that you were familiar with where his home was and would stop by regularly, even getting approval from his parents for being one of his only respectable friends, though when your only competition was Ganke it wasn’t that hard to win them over.

He didn’t leave his room even after he’d noticed you’d read the message. It wasn’t like he wasn’t going to be happy to see you, it’d been far too long since you’d seen each other outside of school, but part of him was worried that it’d only been initiated so that you could break it to him that your friendship was over when you arrived and he wouldn’t know what to think.

It was around half an hour later when he heard the familiar sound of the front door opening and his mother’s voice happily greeting the visitor, followed by a knock at his own bedroom door.

“You have a visitor~!”

When it swung open, his mom was beaming and you were standing sheepishly beside her. You’d walked in without a word, but as Miles stood to shut the door after you his mom paused, shooting him a look that sent shivers down his spine but sent a clear message that she could tell something was wrong and for him to tread carefully.

When he turned back to you, every apology he’d practiced and revised in his head was gone in an instant and he regretted not writing it down on cards beforehand. You’d sat on his bed, glancing around the room and studying the decor as if you hadn’t seen it many times before, unable to meet his gaze.

With every ounce of intelligence slowly draining out of his head, Miles’ idea of mending the situation was to say what first came to mind.

“I’m sorry!” He blurred out without thinking, and much louder than he had intended for it to come out.

At the very least it got your attention, nearly making you jump as you suddenly turned and looked at you, but the assumed anger he’d expect to cross your face never came. Instead, your eyebrows knitted together and the left was slightly raised, staring at him with confusion written all over your face.

“…for what?”

It was then Miles turn to look confused, followed by dumbfounded at your lack of understanding. That was a great question, actually. What was he sorry for?

“I, uh-” he stumbled over his words for a moment, standing awkwardly with his hand gestures doing no good at explaining his words for him. “For…I don’t know, actually.”

He let out a strained sigh. “I don’t know what I did but you’ve been acting real weird so I kinda figured I did something?” His explanation sounded more of a question than a statement, but he got his point across nonetheless, watching the guilt cross your face as you listen.

“Wha- no, Miles, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not your fault, really,” you assured remorsefully, patting the spot next for you as an invitation for him to sit.

Miles let out a breathe he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding, relieved at the revelation that he, in fact, had not been in the wrong, but as he accepted your gesture and sat down, he couldn’t help but wonder that if it wasn’t an issue with him, what was it? You must’ve recognized the puzzled expression on his face and realized what he was wondering.

“It’s…complicated. I was struggling with something and I didn’t mean to be so cold but I was worried and didn’t want to tell you in case you-” “Hey-”

Miles cut you off mid sentence, placing a hand on your shoulder with an expression that matched the sudden switch to serious and concern he displayed. “You don’t have to worry about that, you can tell me anything. What kind of friend would I be if I couldn’t? No judgement, I swear.”

You smiled at the genuine reassurance from him, only for him to immediately follow up and break the seriousness of the conversation. “-unless you were confessing to something crazy, I guess, like eating babies or kicking old people; in that case maybe I’d judge a little.”

He was satisfied with the laugh you cracked at the switch, it’d been a while since he’d seen you genuinely smile. When it subsided, he removed his hand and let you bring it back down to properly speak.

“Promise that you’ll be cool about this-” “Promise.” “-and won’t go blabbing to anyone-” “Done and done.” “-not a single soul.” “My lips are sealed.”

The anticipation was bubbling up within him and he nearly started fidgeting from it alone as he waited for you to explain what’d you’d been struggling with and upsetting your friendship for so long.

“…I’m a lesbian.”

Miles counted approximately 12 seconds of long, drawn out silence as the two of you stared at each other, you with an expectant and hesitant expression and him with a completely blank face, before your sharp inhale broke the silence and his head tilted slightly to the right, raising a brow.

“…that’s it?”

You blinked. Miles blinked.

“…yes?”

Miles was, once again, no expert at comforting people or responding to any serious conversation that normally would’ve been emotional, which would explain why rather than any normal route, he laughed.

You were left sitting there, more puzzled than ever before as he slapped a hand over his mouth to try and contain his fit of laughter.

“What’s so funny?”

After he willed himself to calm down in a matter of seconds, Miles let out a deep breath and beamed at you.

“You thinking there would’ve been a problem if you’d told me this is what’s funny.” Miles playfully bumped your shoulder, and you could tell he was keeping the tone lighthearted despite the significance of his words. “I couldn’t care less if you like girls, no one else would or should either. If anything this is great! Eventually I’ll get to flex that I’m the first person you came out too!”

The sincerity of his words was enough to make you smile and almost completely forget your previous reluctance to bring this up to him in the first place. “Miles, you’re an idiot.” He frowned and exaggerated his motion as he slumped his shoulders. “But thank you, I really appreciate you, I mean that.” He cheered back up in an instant.

“Anytime.”

bonus:

“Hey does this mean I can talk about girls with you now too?”

“You already did that Miles.”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same when I thought only I could like them. Maybe not though, you do have shitty taste.”

“Hey-!”

“What do you think of that girl in second period who sits in the corner? I think she’s pretty cute.”

“Eh, she’s alright I guess, but I’m more into your mom.”

“…okay, too far.”

“Worth it.”

#across the spiderverse #spiderman atsv #atsv #atsv fanfiction #spider man #atsv x reader #miles morales #miles morales x reader #miles x reader #miles x you

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