#im exhausted I have no idea if this is coherent at all

[ninyard]

I didn't like when andrew said renee was useful?

Like weren't they friends idk it sounded weird

Okay maybe this is me being the big ol Andrew Minyard apologist that I am but I’m not sure he means that in the way that it seems. Prepare yourself for my silly thoughts:

Andrew and Neil got to this place in their conversation by Neil asking how Andrew can be so disconnected from his teammates. Neil feels he has to let them in, let them be his "friends", let them get to know him. So how has Andrew managed to keep them at such a distance, to avoid letting them in? Because he doesn't want to. Andrew just says they're not interesting enough.

Neil is already wondering what's going on between Andrew and Renee at this point. So he sort of backtracks on himself then - Andrew actually has let people stand in, and Renee is one of them.

And Andrew knows everyone is betting on him and Renee. He’s quick with the, “You expected a different answer?” because I think he knows there’s a high likelihood somebody has told Neil about this bet, and given Neil’s “That’s it?” I think he could also tell that Neil thought that him and Renee could’ve been a thing (or at least that that was the only way he could make sense of their relationship).

Andrew is quick. We know he is. So I think he would've realised exactly what Neil was curious about when he mentioned her name and then said "She's not interesting?" (Which really means “Is she different?” Or “Are you actually more than that and not saying it?”)

Then right after that, there's this -

Andrew thinks it's obvious. Andrew calls him stupid, Andrew mocks him. Andrew knows why he's asking about Renee. He thinks Neil is stupid for not realising why it wont happen. He lets Neil squirm for a bit because Renee is his friend, even if he won't say that, and this just opens up the opportunity for Neil to actually talk to her.

I think he said "She's useful," because he's not going to say "She's just my friend," or "She's like me," or whatever else he could've said. Andrew is not the type of guy to turn around to Neil’s question and say ACTUALLY you are right! My friend Renee IS interesting! I forgot about her!

I think that's literally Andrew's way of saying she is his friend. Also, bearing it in mind that he's still medicated at this point - I don't think he means it in the way of "she's not my friend, she's just useful to me", but instead means it like "she just my friend, nothing more, and she's useful.” I think it’s a meaningless throwaway way to describe her. But even if he did mean it, he doesn’t mean it in a negative way. Not “Yeah. She’s useful I guess. She does things but that’s about it” but “Yeah, Renee is useful. She’s there if I need her” instead.

Does that make sense?

(And also; it’s Andrew we’re talking about. He tells Neil he hates him. I don’t think him saying that about Renee is to be taken too seriously)

But

I do actually think in some ways he means it when he says she’s useful. Renee is useful to Andrew.

She’s the only person on the team who has related to him. She the only person, before Neil, who even had the slightest idea about what Andrew had been through. Renee is useful in the way that she’s someone for him to relate to. He sees himself in her, and her the same. They understand each other. Which is probably likely a first for him. Shes spars with him. She’s his wingwoman. She’s his friend. She cares about him. She talks to him like he’s a human. (She makes him feel like less of a monster) ((not that he cares)) She’s always covered for him in the goals, too, when he’s been too sick to play. I’d say that’s pretty useful.

Idk. I’m pulling things out of nowhere because I’m too tired to think but. Yeah I think Renee is actually useful to Andrew, but I also think Andrew is Andrew and he says things he doesn’t mean, or says things that actually mean something else ALL THE TIME. So i don’t think him saying Renee is “useful” is anything demeaning against her. I think he’s winding Neil up because he knows where his line of questioning is going/coming from.

[badass-sunshine]

.

[fuxuannie]

↳  pairing(s) : various hsr men x gender neutral reader

↳  synopsis : you never realized how pretty your boyfriend was when he was covered in your lipstick kisses.

↳  authors note : THAT TIKTOK TREND DRIVES ME MAD MOSTLY BECAUSE IM JEALOUS !!! i will confess to my sins i wish i could do this with someone pls,, also this is a really cute idea 

DAN HENG stands next to you as you do your makeup, staring at your various little brands of makeup that sit on your desk. As you do your eyeliner, he picks up one of your various colors of lipstick and stares at it. “Pretty shade..” He thought, resisting the urge to put some on his own lips as it was yours and really didn’t wanna possibly ruin it (or look like a fool if he did it wrong.)

You notice this, and a small light bulb pops over your head. “Do you wanna try it?” And you smile as he shyly nods, but there’s a quiet confusion when you take it from his hands and began to apply it to your own lips. 

He’s not given a second to process before you begin to kiss his lips, then his cheeks, then his neck and eventually all over his face. You’re giggling to yourself as he stands there and takes it, not complaining but there’s a fluster and red blush all over his cheeks and a tint of it on his ears. 

“It’s a perfect shade!” You exclaim, laughing at how red your boyfriend had gotten after that small interaction. 

“JING YUAAAN.” You call for him, the General walking into your room not long after as he sees you, chair facing the door and sitting in front of your mirror with two different lipstick brands in your hand. “I don’t know which one to use..” You frowned, but all he could focus on was the slight smudge of lipstick at the end of your lips.

He falls to his knees due to his height, and you can’t help but notice how pretty he looks from that angle. His golden eyes looking up at you with utter adoration, as a hand reaches out to the corner of your lips to cleanly clean it off with his thumb. “You’ll look pretty with either one, my dear.” He chuckles.

You have no idea what came over you, but you grab his face and just kiss him. Going from his lips to his cheek and to all over his face until you were decorating his soft skin with your lips. Jing Yuan doesn’t protest, in fact he’s laughing in amusement while you do so.

“Guess it was prettier on me if you were so insistent to kiss me.” He hums, pulling you close.

Your boyfriend was such a pretty sleeper, you loved to lay on top of him as he slept somewhere like the couch and just smile at how peaceful he looked as he slept. One of your favorite activities is softly kissing all over his face. he would always tell you how it brought him peace as he would rest and it was something you were happy to do for him.

One night, after a party, you two were exhausted and wanted to rest. As per usual, the blonde asked if you could kiss him to sleep.

You, completely forgetting you had the smallest bit of lipstick on your lips, was surprised at the lipstick marks all over GEPARD’s face after you sleepily kissed him. “Oops.” You’d softly chuckle, but it didn’t really have you stop. Continuing to use your boyfriend as a canvas for the art of painting his face with your pretty kisses.

This once, BLADE let you use his lap as a seat as you do your make-up. He’s on his phone as you apply your concealer, humming happily as he doesn’t really mind having you sit on him. He just doesn’t usually do it because he’s a busy man, but for once Kafka let him have a free day since she and Silverwolf were on a side mission that didn’t require his assistance.

“Blade?” You catch his attention, having him look up from his phone as you’re wearing a shade of lipstick he was unfamiliar with. “Did you buy a new one?” He asks, and you nod in response. “Mhm.” You answered, but he steals a kiss before you could even form a coherent response after that. “Ah-”

You stare at the small smudge that got on his lips, seeing him chuckle and your heart racing at the sight. “You should kiss me again. You picked a good color.” He says with a smirk, pulling you closer to him by the waist as you were never really one to refuse your boyfriend.

He doesn’t care about the potential embarrassment that could come from going to meet Kafka with all your marks all over him, he simply shrugs off the laughter coming from her as Silverwolf was simply disgusted. 

[justpuppylove]

Doll- stepdad dream smut

Stepdad!dream x afab reader smut

Kinks/warnings: Stepcest [PLEASE DONT FUCK YOUR STEP-SIBLINGS OR PARENTS. I DO NOT CONDONE THIS.], daddy kink, use of little one and other names, praising, thigh fucking, slight breeding.

A/N: im gonna step away from the Wilbur smut for a sec but I’ll make sure to make my way through those requests soon :3

Your mom introduced your stepdad dream a few months ago and he seemed like a decent enough guy. You were against your mom dating again after your father passed away but you eventually came around to the idea of dream staying with you guys. This isn’t to say you see him as a father figure, he treats you like his child in some ways but there’s just always been something off about you guys having a “father-child relationship”. He’s always been pretty touchy with you and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it. At first it was playful touching, nothing coherently sexual about it, but then it progressed into you sitting on his lap and him running his hand up your thigh. Of course your mom never knew of any of this and you hoped she never would, you felt so guilty every time it happened but for some reason that made you even more turned on.

You walked into your bedroom and shut the door. You ran to your bed and flopped down; utterly exhausted. Exams were getting the best of you but you finally had some time to rest. Then you heard a knock on your door.

“Doll, do you want to watch a movie with me? Your mom is gone for the weekend and I’m bored.” Dream said, dragging out the D in bored. You were so tired but how could you say no to dream?

“Sure I’ll be down in a minute, pick out a movie for us.” You said reluctantly dragging your body off of your bed. You hear him turn away and start walking back downstairs as you head over to your closet. You get out a oversized shirt that dream had gave you as a hand-me-down and you change into it. You wanted to be comfortable so you took off your bra and didn’t put any shorts on so you were just in his shirt and your underwear. When you were done you made your way downstairs to dream cooking popcorn in the kitchen. You walk into the kitchen to grab a few snacks and go to sit them onto the living room table. You hear the microwave ding and you walk back into the kitchen to see dream putting the popcorn into a big bowl. You squeeze past dream, grinding against him as you do so, to look for the salt. You hear him let out a groan before walking up behind you, pressing your stomach up to the counter top as you feel his hard dick against your ass. You let out a whimper as he reaches up into the cupboard to grab the salt out.

“Is this what you were looking for darling~?” He asked you, putting the salt infront of your face but keep your bodies in the same position. All you could let out is a little ‘mhm’ as he backs away, walking into the living room. He presses play as you follow him onto the couch as you see him pat his lap, signaling for you to sit on it. You feel your face grow red as you press yourself onto his lap, his dick pressing onto your pussy as you let out a small moan. “What’s wrong baby?” Dream says as he feels his way up your thigh. You respond to him by pressing yourself harder onto his dick, “Is this the problem little one?” He says pressing has fingers onto your clothed pussy. “Awe, you’re soaking wet. Do you need daddy to take care of you?” He asks. You nod, “I need your words sweetheart”. “Yes daddy, please take care of me.” You say highly embarrassed. He giggles into your ear as he begins rubbing your pussy through your underwear, your hand shoots to his and you try to press yourself onto his hand. He slides your underwear down before sliding off his own. His hard dick shoots up as he makes you wrap your thighs around his dick. He starts thigh fucking you while both hands are squeezing your thighs. You hold onto his wrists while he kisses the back of your neck. Your pretty moans and his groans fill the room. “Fuck, you don’t know how long I’ve needed this doll. Ive needed to use your pretty little body so bad.” He says before fucking your thighs faster. His precum and your wetness covering your thighs as his dick slides between your folds and hits your clit in just the right way. “Ah~ gonna cum daddy” you moan, squeezing his wrists. “Cum for me, you’re doing so good” he says as he removes one of his hands from your thigh to circle your clit instead.

He cums all over your thighs as you cum onto his dick. He picks your body up and turns you around to face him. He kisses you as he slides his dick inside of you, making your yelp. “Shh~ its okay, I have you. Daddy has you.” He says as he pulls you closer, slowly pushing his dick in until he bottoms out. He begins fucking into you, making you bounce on him. He lifts your shirt up and watches your tits bounce as you move up and down on him. He smirks at how embarrassed you got at this. “Is my little baby embarrassed? You’re so adorable.” He said before grabbing one of your hands, holding it as he fucks into you harder. Your moans get louder and louder as you feel yourself getting closer to cumming. “Just like that, cum for me baby.” He says before playing with one of your tits. “I’m going to cum inside of you okay? Can you handle that doll?” He asks. He let out a few yes’s before cumming on his dick for the second time. He slams into you a few more times before spilling his seed into your pussy.

He pulls you off of his dick and gets a paper towel to clean you both up with. He puts his clothes back on before sliding your underwear back onto you. He lays on the couch and pulls you in. The credits of the movie roll as you fall asleep.

[toournextadventure]

I LOVE your Wednesday! I was wondering if you can write a Wednesday/gn!Reader where the reader writes to her a love letter and wants to give it to her with a black rose but they see Xavier give to her the cellphone so, thinking they're dating, Reader just throws away the letter and the rose.

Wednesday finds them..

Looky looky here, two fics in one day. This one was fun to write, I loved the idea!

im no poet

You were no writer. No amount of your rambling thoughts could compare to those of Shakespeare, Hemingway, or even Wednesday Addams. All those big emotions came out in actions, not words, and not even your mouth could keep up or properly convey all you wanted to. No, most of those big, bottled up feelings ended up left unspoken.

But for Wednesday, you gave it a try.

It had started with a very heated debate about the phrase “actions speak louder than words.” She, of course, had opted to disagree, claiming her words spoke pretty loud. They sure do, you thought as you shook your head and counter-argued. It was by no means an argument, much more of an actual debate with each side presenting their case.

You lost. Because, as you had previously pointed out, you were not good with your words.

Not a bad thing though, you realised once you sat down to try and write out how you felt. The first few paragraphs were messy; no structure, no reason, barely coherent. You crumpled the paper into a ball and tossed it into the corner of the room, not even attempting to hit the trash can. But you pulled out another piece of paper and started again.

It took half a notebook before you could even start making sense of your words. Even then, it wasn’t what you wanted to say. How could you even start to explain why you were writing such a letter? Should you start it off with “Hello, I think I’m in love with you?” Words wouldn’t work.

Words wouldn’t work.

You put your pen to paper - the third pen you had ruined so far - and started explaining your emotions the only way you knew how: with actions. The feelings she envoked in you couldn’t be put into words, not so simply. No, because she made you want to live, and living was such a beautiful thing. That rare smile of hers made you feel as if you were running through the farm of your childhood. Laughing as you ran up and down the crop rows until your bare feet were dirty and tired and you collapsed in the field with the feeling of utter peace that only a child could experience.

Being with her made you want to do every little thing she had never considered was important to her. It made you want to bring her coffee whenever she was writing, or turning the page of her music as she played. You would connect your headphones whenever she came in because you knew she liked the silence. Or grabbing all the songs she enjoyed and turning them into a personalised record that she could use without having to switch them out all the time.

When it was all said and done, you had exhausted five pens, half a notebook, and came out with three pages of a written confession.

You had asked Miss Thornhill if you could raid the greenhouse. It wasn’t that you were a teacher’s pet, but you knew how to kiss up when needed. She agreed quickly, and all you had to give up were a few Saturdays of your time to help clean up and organise. A fair trade, no consideration needed.

The Black Dahlias weren’t in bloom, so you hoped Wednesday would settle for a black rose. That was still romantic, right? It was black, at least, that had to count for something. A small envelope, a single black rose, your bright shining face. What more could she want?

“I already put my number in it,” Xavier’s voice rang out even though he was talking fairly quietly.

He bought her a phone. The very thing she had adamantly refused to become a slave to. Yet she took it from him anyway. Oh, you thought with a furrow of your brows. Suddenly the items in your hand felt like lead, weighing you down and you almost wished they would drag you under the ground to escape.

It had been a crapshoot to make a move, you knew that anyway, but it still hurt nonetheless. Wednesday gave the equivalent of a smile, and you nodded to yourself in silent acceptance. You wouldn’t ever wish to put her in a position to “choose” between two people. So instead you turned around and started walking off. You only paused at a trash can to drop the rose and letter inside, patting the cold silver can twice before walking away.

You didn’t see Wednesday watch you leave with worry in her eyes.

“Go see,” Xavier said with a gesture of his head.

Wednesday didn’t hesitate to walk over to the trash can and pick up the rose and envelope. The sight of the flower made her heart race; had you gotten that for her? What had possessed you to get her something like that? You knew she was difficult to get along with, why would you go out of your way to get her a rose in her favourite colour?

And the envelope. It had her name on it.

“What’s their number?” Wednesday asked Xavier. He gave her a smile and gestured for her to hand him her phone.

—---

You practically fell onto the bench in the lockerroom of your hometown gym. After getting out of school a few weeks ago, you had thrown yourself into helping out at the gym. The owner was a family friend and he had quickly accepted your offer. It was an added bonus that he gave you full access to the gym, too.

It was almost time to start closing up, but you had managed to get a good workout in once everyone was gone. Hell, you deserved it, the girl you were in love with was very clearly not in love with you. In fact, she was nice and happy, and even though that’s all you wanted, it still hurt. 

You never even told her, your mind thought.

“Oh shut up,” you mumbled as your head fell into your hands.

With a sigh, you pushed yourself up to your feet and grabbed your change of clothes from your bag. Maybe you just needed to change and get home so you could wallow in your self-pity and fall asleep with some Kitchen Nightmares on in the background. That would surely keep your mind busy. God, you were pathetic.

You were pulling your clean shirt back over your head when your phone vibrated against the bench. No one should have been texting you this late, everyone you talked to knew you were usually asleep. Besides, why would they be texting you this late? Didn’t they know you were in mourning?

The screen lit up when you held your face over it, still adjusting your clothes to fit properly.

Unknown Number: You forgot this. 1 Attachment.

“Oh fuck.” It was a photo of the rose and envelope with Wednesday’s name on it.

You: I’m sorry. You can toss it I didn’t know about Xavier

Oh god, why was this happening? Why did this have to happen? Getting silently rejected was hard enough, but now there was going to be humiliation too? You lifted your hands to grab the sides of your head as you started pacing, trying to keep yourself grounded. That’s it, you weren’t going back to Nevermore. Nope, you were going to run away, maybe live in the woods and find a Bigfoot family to take care of you.

The phone vibrated again and you rushed over.

Unknown: Did you mean it? What you wrote.

“Fuck!” You shouted. What did you say? There’s no way you could say “Yes, Wednesday, I meant every word of devotion that I wrote on that letter. Tell your boyfriend I said hi.” But if you didn’t let her know now, it was going to eat away at you until the day you died. Fuck fuck fuck!

You grabbed the phone and typed out the one word, but your thumbs stilled over the “send” button while your heart tried to beat out of your chest.

You pressed send.

You: Yes

“Oh shit,” you groaned. Your hands were getting clammy. “Why did I do that.” Oh god. Oh shit. Why wasn’t she answering? There goes any chance of even being friends again. You were going to have to change your name and run away. Surely your family would understand, right? Yeah, they could even help you come up with a new identity.

The vibration against the bench was about to send you into a frenzy.

Unknown: Call me tomorrow night. We can watch the new Scream movie.

You had never typed so fast in your life.

You: Is this a date?

The text couldn’t come quickly enough.

Unknown: Yes. But if you tell anyone, I will remove your tongue.

You stared at your phone in utter disbelief. A date. With Wednesday Addams. A real date with the girl you were highkey in love with. Your letter had worked. It had worked!

You: It’s a date

A smile took over your face as you put your phone back into your bag. You had a date.

“Fuck yes!” You shouted as you threw your fist in the air. You were definitely calling out of work tomorrow.

[aldritch-ao3]

Hello!! We’ve really been enjoying your fic and wanted to ask a few things, and ramble :p

1. Were there any works (be it original fiction or fanfics) that inspired Playback? Because the SI ‘genre’ (don’t have a better word for it haha) is very broad and well tread and we find your exploration of it very interesting.

2. We were actually somewhat wary of the idea of Freeze Frame for half a second but the way you’re able to utilize it in the narrative is very interesting and well thought out, it balances out well with the characters. But to get to the point: How did the balance out the technique with the story so well?

Uhh… now other stuff :3

SI-ya is a very enjoyable character! Don’t know why but we read him as a very flat affected midwestern guy, with the type of accent you’d hear from Michigan/Indiana.

Thank you for sharing your story and stay safe during Milton!

aaah what a sweet ask ! i'll endeavour to answer it all as best as i can, i love answering these sorts of meta questions they're a real treat for me !!! also its late and im up for my unstoppable editing a chapter at 3am grind so this may not be super coherent and its way too long sorryyyy

1. in regards to other fics - i'm admittedly more a 'time travel fix-it' guy than a SI-genre guy! they so rarely ever click with me in a way i enjoy, and im always sad when the SI isnt like, a fleshed out OC with their own history and whatnot. the only one i can think of that i really enjoyed was cleaning crew ! but i found the JJK fandom played around with them in really fun ways to me (even if i haven't had a ton of time to read a lot).

the tag on playback that denotes it came to me in a dream isn't a joke - i stayed up till like 5am reading all of a gentler world in one sitting, and had the most vibrant dream ive had in months, which the base plot of later became playback.

said dream will one day be written out when it isn't a major spoiler. lmao.

but @ the oc-focus bit, it may be more apt to say i draw off of other time-travel media in how the narrative interacts with the character - a study of resonance and a shot in the dark are some different-fandom favourites of mine that probably influenced me in some way shape or form, and pokemon mystery dungeon: explorers of sky shaped my brain in a way i will never recover from.

2. when it comes to balance, a part of it is very centered in like ... approach, for me. SIya is by nature a thoughtful character who approaches things methodically, and while i started with a very faint idea for freeze frame i let the drawbacks of it come to me as i fleshed him out - drawbacks that would be actual drawbacks catered to the character, and ones he may eventually be able to use to his own benefit. he's the type of smart guy who could probably find some use in its increased resistance and lack of air circulation, but he's also the type of guy to be constantly exhausted because he pushes himself to his limits constantly. he feels responsible for the whole world, and i wanted freeze frame as an ability to both enable and worsen that feeling. the character himself is also a counter to it - he's not the sort to use it wildly or irresponsibly in the way others might. its balanced with the story because it IS the story! SIya the oc and SIya the character themes are inseparable from freeze frame and the story is built for that.

3. midwestern SIya is so funny. everyone ive talked to pictures him with an entirely different accent but all agree he sounds super flat and like. average. its hysterical to me. real bland energy that transcends language. average generic guy voice

i'm really glad people enjoy it so much! i really wasnt at all expecting this much feedback and it's super motivating. it's been nice to have something to focus on aside from the upcoming storm ;w; with any luck, everything will be fine and i'll come back swinging with like 8 new chapters

[mizuta]

god im tired (longer winded ramble under the cut about disability?)

the thing they dont tell you. about being the son of two disabled parents, two people who hate themselves more than they could hate you, a woman who swears up and down that her becoming disabled enough to need a wheelchair full time is the worst thing thats ever happened to her, thats Ruined her life.

the thing they dont tell you is their constant insistance that you can do better and are just lazy warps your fucking perspective to yourself until its unrecognizeable. they push themselves until theyre now falling apart at the seams with worse and worse damages that couldve maybe been avoided somewhat and refuse to allow you to be 'weak' and 'need help'.

they dont tell you that when youre navigating constant persistant wrist pain at 22, when your cognitive functions have always been bad but not bad enough, that youre never gonna feel like you deserve help or accommodations. that you cant do math or numbers and thats a larger symptom of something, of when words blur together and you read chunks of writing as nonsensical regularly, when you hear one thing but someone said something completely different and you have to just bashfully laugh it off.

when your language function breaks down and youre speaking in fragmented sentences. no proper grammar. the words are hard and dont make sense and youre just desperately screaming in your own wy trying to be heard. you get told that one might be a symptom of your psychosis but fuck nobody ever told you that wasnt normal to begin with other than making fun of you when your guards down.

when you can barely tell time between two days from each other and your disassociative disorder makes you all lose so many gaps in time, and youre not mad at each other for that, but you just kind of wonder because between that and how much time doesnt exist to you all and how much you forget from adhd to the point that entire days are forgotten after youve lived them, when youre so exhausted and your head feels like fog 80% of the time, when your mood tracker never puts you above a 5 on the mental health scale on your best days.

when you know damn fucking well youre not abled enough, but nobody tells you that youll constantly be told youre not disabled enough, either. not abled or disabled. some fucking other thing, something thats useless, something thats just fucking pointless.

its like, i know im mentally ill. severe clinical depression. adhd. probably cptsd that im still coming to terms with. likely ocd. possibly autistic as well its hard to tell. psychosis. but im also in pain pretty regularly, but its 'only' wrist pain, so does it matter? i cant think straight most days of the week and its a genuine struggle full of spoons to keep my speech coherent and just tonight alone i keep hallucinating my bathroom lights on and getting up and discovering when i come to turn them off theyre already off.

ive been sick for a week and a half and i could barely manage to get out of bed and shower twice. or get a sports drink so i didnt just... faint. i need constant access to electrolyte water/sports drinks or my near-constant dizziness and lightheadedness and sometimes physical pain gets way worse, rather than 'manageable and liveable'. i feel like im going fucking insane.

all signs point to me having asthma. my parents literally think im insane at the idea. i have so much breathing trouble and this last week i couldnt breathe for multiple 10 minute chunks because i went to work sick because i need the money.

christ almighty. not abled. not disabled enough. cant quantify my cognitive problems because itll never be 'enough'. god.

im so fucking tired, dude. i just want to sleep for a really, really long time

[lyciaho]

leaning in

thinking a lot about the 2-day coaching workshop we attended at work. it was so insightful. the frameworks we were given helped to give shape to what i have experienced as a coach. and i feel like the moment you can name something is the moment you have clarity. though the word 'coach' is in my job title, i have never thought of coaching so conceptually before. the past 2 days were exhausting; i feel like there's just so much to digest and reflect on, so that all that i've learnt can actually make a difference in the work that i do.

what we think of as 'professional' work is actually deeply personal. the entities and organisations we work with are made of people, who come with varied perspectives, identities, experiences and stories. therefore, diversity is an important resource to embrace. the idea sounds simple, but actually, its very profound. to embrace diversity is to recognise our differences as complementary, rather than divisive. in any form of partnership, it is crucial to leverage on our differences. as much as we need to acknowledge each other's strengths, knowing our limitations is equally valuable. you bring to the table what i don't. it is important to acknowledge, in vulnerability, what you do not have, not just to set the parameters of the discussion, but also so that the other party is aware that that is something they might be able to contribute. in other words, admitting our limitations can be empowering. i'm not being very coherent about this. maybe i'll revisit this thought another day.

oftentimes we see human dynamics and relationships as a stumbling block to achieving a particular outcome. for example, we may think that person A's resistance to a particular decision is hindering us from making any sort of progress. i felt challenged to think about personnel as not simply a means to an end, but navigating my relationship with them is precisely the work. what if i spent my energy thinking about the reasons behind person A's resistance, and trying to work with them as an individual, instead of thinking about how i can convince them to make a decision? i suppose the best coaches are not simply achievers of a particular outcome, but champions of people. at the heart of our work, after all, is service and an other-orientation. the success of our work, therefore, should not be measured by the attainment of particular outcomes, but perhaps, the growth and wellbeing of our people.

i can't help but think also that it is so important to be self-aware, and to have a somewhat healthy sense of self, in order to be an effective coach. to be fully other-oriented requires me to forget about myself in a sense, because if something in me is triggered, my attention is given to managing my self and my emotions, rather than the issue at hand. i am only an instrument, and i don't have to take myself too seriously.

something else that was spoken about was the importance of noticing the power (im)balance (real or perceived) in any meeting. power can derail equal partnership. if i notice that power is leaning towards my direction, i need to think about empowering the other. on the other hand, if i feel like the smaller being, then i need to remember what i bring to the table! and power comes from different sources: experience, knowledge, influence... i think a deep sense of personal conviction, if apparent in the work we do and the way we come across, is also a form of power.

other observations, which i will list instead of expounding on, because it's been such a long day:

it is important to hold space for discomfort, and ambiguity (very difficult for me, because i like control, but your personality does not mean your capability, so i will have to try).

safety is experienced, not declared (hence my discomfort at the trite statement which somehow finds its way into most meetings: 'this is a safe space' - what does that even mean?).

more so than a 'safe space', it is a 'brave space' we need to create as coaches - think about the conditions in which courage can emerge. there should be no such thing as taboo.

not all conflict is bad; conflict can be generative and creative.

there is a shadow side to every strength.

knowing ourselves is a lifelong work.

[maliciousmalfeasance]

i don't get to walk very much lately

not because im short on time, or lovely places to go- but because my body has been playing a nasty trick on me- or maybe my body is the trick- it all feels like one big, terrible drawn out joke that stopped being funny before it even left the lips of whoever's been telling it over and over for the last 2 years.

Worse yet- I keep falling for it. (ha ha, get it? Because I fall over...) I keep entertaining the idea that it's better now! I'm seeing slight improvements so who knows maybe soon I can pack the shower chair away and never look at it again and I can walk down to the lake and sit there like I did- a week- years ago- eons away from now. It's silly. I see my partner witnessing it, each time. The wind up, the expectation and maybe- even the actual merciful plateau for a while. Enough energy to garden and clean and get a start on the mountain of "when im doing better" tasks that keeps growing and looming in my periphery. And then- I hit the wall again. My body knocks me out and drags me aching and cursing back to bed. I've no idea how long I'll be back at square one.

I haven't been able to go for walks often- is what I'm saying. Which is what has made the few times I have been able to go for walks, so magical. I've been really into moss! Strange fixation to have when there are many more pressing and beautiful things to snatch my attention but I find I keep my eyes down a lot as a general habit (better keep an eye on these feet- you never know where they're going) and I find an inordinate amount of comfort in little tufts of green tucked into the darkest, dankest crevices of suburbia and bush land.

Same goes for lichen, fungi, and just life in general. I've been keeping fish and plants and- maintaining little islands of life is excellent enrichment in my enclosure, I gotta say. I love the reminder that life persists even when I feel so cut off and vulnerable and sick. I love my snails and shrimp and fish. I get disproportionately sad when I can't manage to work on my gardening and fish-keeping projects. Watching shows and movies is still a fun thing to do with others but when I'm by myself it's really lost its lustre. I can't help but associate watching tv with being exhausted and barely functioning at this point because when I'm too tired and unwell to think coherently, I watch something to try and keep myself occupied and awake.

Anyways all this to say- I want to document my walks some more, and my outings in general. With film wherever possible, because this way I can surround myself with images of outside and hope when I'm in this rut again next. Because something tells me this rut is going to remain a frequent stop in my life- might as well make it a nice little rut to get stuck in. My body is forcing a lot of rest on me at the moment. That is what it is. Better not to turn the rest into torture by sucking all the joy out.

I hope your life has opportunities for rest, too. And life! I recommend keeping plants-if you need plant advice I'm no expert but I can try my best. If you can't keep plants alive consider yourself a plant and keep yourself well watered and make sure you get some sun on your leaves and soil on your soles (souls? you heathens.) occasionally.

[beef-brisket]

Adam stared at Lucifer. God, he wanted that phone back. He doesn't seem too mad, so that was good.

Lucifer: ...alright

Adam couldn't grab the phone back quick enough.

Adam: m-mama!?

Lucifer stood by while Adam was on the phone. He could hear his mother on the other end, pleading with him to tell her where he was.

Lucifer knew Adam was trying not to cry, he was trying so hard.

Sera: p-please bany- tell me where you are- I'm not mad, I'll never be mad- I miss you, my baby- I need you please! Please tell me- Lucifer! I know you can hear this- give me my baby back! If you want money, I'll give you money! Anything, I'll give you anything, just give my Adam back! Please!

Adam broke down. Lucifer had to turn away, he could barely handle the horrible noises Adam was making as he heard his mother beg him.

Lucifer: hang up Adam.

Adam: m-mama please- no L-Luci- not yet, please-

Lucifer: Adam- please... either make her stop or hang up.

Adam: can I be alone- for a moment?

Lucifer: no- I can't allow that

Adam: luci, please? I won't say anything, I promise- I just... she's my mom, please, please Luci

Lucifer continued to listen to Seras' begging, which was getting more and more desperate. He nodded to Adam and walked inside. He's only spoken to Charlie a couple of times but Adam would always give him space, it was only fair that he does the same.

Adam sighed and continued to talk to Sera when Lucifer was gone.

Adam: mama... I'm... safe... I think, Lucifer can be... weird sometimes-

Sera: weird? What do you mean weird? Did he do something to you!? What did he do, Addie?

Adam: n-nothing ma! I swear- he just... panics sometimes and makes bad decisions

Sera: I'll kill him Adam, I'll kill him if he even touches you!

Adam: I know you will mama. I just... need some time to think.

Sera: about what, baby? You want to come home, right?

Adam felt himself tear up. There was nothing he missed more than home. His mom and sister. His work friends. Everyone. Fuck, he even missed Val. The creep.

Adam: o-of course I do mama. I just... I don't think I can just leave- the babies-

Sera: bring them with you! I'll help you look after them, sweetheart! We don't need Lucifer!

Adam: it's not that, ma.

Sera: then what is it?! Are you there by choice!?

Adam: no- yes- not really-

Sera: fucks sakes Adam! Did you break him out?! Did you... have sex with him whole he was in prison!?

Adam: mama please- please don't do this-

Sera: Answer me Adam. Right now. What did you do? Oh my God... did you kill Lilith?

Adam: mama! No! I had nothing to do with that! Why would you-?!

Sera: what am I ment to think, Adam? You're on the run! With two babies! I can't believe you let him get you pregnant! I can't believe you had sex with a murderer! In prison! What the fuck is wrong with you! Look at the mess you've gotten yourself into!

Adam: i-i know mama- please stop- I can't d-deal with this right now- I-I can't sleep, I can't eat- I can't deal with this mama

Sera: where are you Adam! Tell me right now! You owe me that much! I've been worried sick about you! I had a fucking heart attack Adam! I was looking for you in the fucking woods- I looked everywhere! You nearly killed me! Do you understand that, boy!?

Adam: i-im so sorry mumma, i-i had no idea- im so sorry! I-im in b-brazil mama... I'm in Brazil...

Sera: ...where in Brazil?

Adam: I don't know... about an hour away from some hospital... in the middle of nowhere.

Adam was so tired. So exhausted. He couldn't speak in coherent sentences by the time he hung up with Sera. He had no idea what would happen now. Sera said she'll raise Hell to find him. Shit.

Adam didn't even hear Lucifer come back outside and slowly take his phone out of his hand.

Lucifer: Adam? Are you alright? Did you have a good talk?

Adam: ...she had a heart attack. I nearly killed my mom. It's my fault. All of this... what was I thinking? Doing any of this... getting you out, getting pregnant by you... I... I nearly killed my mom... my poor mama- my sister- they searched for my fucking body! I ruined everything- I just want to go back- I want everything to go back to the way it was! M-my mama-!

Lucifer watched as Adam curled into himself and cried. He sat next to him and rubbed his back. He thought about everything Adam said. He didn't think his mom would get sick. He had no idea how bad it was back home. How badly Adam would take everything.

Alternative Prison Au

@fanofstuff01 @beef-brisket

Adam walked through the doors of the prison in his new guard uniform. He was of course nervous to be working with very violent people, but his mother helped get him the job here.

A woman with short hair greeted him.

Lute: Hello, you must be Adam.

Adam: I am.

Lute: The names Lute Danger. I'll be your commanding officer for the time being. Let me show you around where you'll be working.

She showed him where everything was and where the prisoners are.

Lute: You need to be tough or they will walk all over you. Some will listen, most won't. Don't be afraid to get a little forceful. It's your life or theirs.

As she explained the rules to Adam, one inmate in particular was watching their exchange.

Lucifer internally: Maybe..... Just maybe he could be my ticket out of here.

[raksh-writes]

So.

Its 5 am.

Its past dawn, I think. Its definitely light already. The birds wont shut up right outside my window.

I havent slept a wink yet.

And I have no idea what to do

[baraqi]

haha guess who it is.. yeah it's stuco sunoo anon (again) im back with another sunoo smut because i think about him too much, this isn't proofread so don't come at me if it's bad

"s-sun.. no more.." you muttered into sunoo's neck, your breathing heavy as you held his hand in yours to keep yourself grounded. he pressed a loving kiss to your temple, dismissively saying, "one more, love. you can give me one more, can't you?"

you had forgotten how many times those words had left his mouth already in the past few hours. his fingers hadn't left your swollen folds since you two had gotten home, almost as if he was drunk on you.

and maybe he was drunk, drunk with the way he could spend hours making you unravel and fall apart, drunk from the pretty sounds you would make for him, drunk from the sweet way you'd moan out his name.

you squirmed in his lap as he held you in place, chuckling when you tried to escape his searing touch. the pace of his fingers never slowed down and you couldn't even form coherent sentences at this point. your entire being was overtaken by him, his scent, his everything.

"pretty, so pretty for me" he whispered in your ear before latching his lips onto your neck, leaving love bites that he knew would be visible tomorrow. "too much-! can't-" you said before he shushed you, his pace fastening if that was even possible.

you cried out his name as you came for the nth time, breathing heavily in relief as he finally slipped his fingers out of your abused hole. he spread your folds apart, watching your cum drip out with a glint in his eyes.

the sound of him unzipping his pants shortly after had your breath hitching and it got you even wetter, as embarrassed as you were to admit it, and by the way sunoo chuckled, he had noticed. "you're so cute, wanna ruin you so fucking bad.."

in retrospect, you were already ruined; your thighs were dirtied with your own release, your face tear-striken and you were practically trembling from exhaustion — yet it didn't stop you from wanting more.

you whined when he decided to tease you, running the tip of his cock between your folds at an agonizingly slow pace and pushing the head in only to pull out again. he raised an eyebrow at your sound of protest, almost as if daring you to misbehave.

his expression morphed into a mischievous smile as an idea popped up in his head, "tell me, y/n.. why should i give you my dick? don't you think ive made you cum enough times?" you quickly shook your head, tears forming in your eyes as another chuckle left him.

"what a greedy little thing.. if you want me inside of you, then you'll have to beg." he said in a commanding tone, stroking your cheek with his left hand. you flushed in embarrassment, your pride getting the best of you as you remained silent. "not gonna speak, princess? that's fine, i guess we're done for tonight."

"wait-! no-" you panickedly spoke as he smirked, knowing you would've caved. "please.. need you inside of me, need you to make me feel good the way only you can, need you to cum inside of me and make me yours, please, sunoo."

"you're gonna be the death of me one day," he whined playfully before impatiently shoving his entire length into you in one go, almost making you scream his name as he stretched you out. holding your hips down on his lap to make sure you wouldn't squirm, he thrusted up into you at a brutal, unforgiving pace.

he was practically hitting your cervix, the blissful sensation ridding you of any rational thought he hadn't fucked out of you yet. your eyes rolled to the back of your head as your climax inched closer and you swore that you saw stars when sunoo rubbed your clit with his thumb, making you squirt all over his now-drenched pants.

he thrusted into you a few more times, helping you ride out your orgasm before he came too, filling you up to the brim. he watched as you panted tiredly in his hold, his eyes then lowering to where you two were connected and also where a mixture of his and your cum laid.

you felt empty when he pulled out, pouting at the sensation and making him laugh cutely in the process as if he hadn't just railed you. he laid you down on the bed, getting up to grab a wet cloth and cleaning off your body with it.

after both you and him finished cleaning up, he went to get you a glass of water and a loving smile spread across his features when he came back to your shared bedroom only to find you fast asleep.

i swear HE will be the death of me he’s out to get me

[fischltao]

╔══════════════╗

AOT SQUIRTING HEADCANONS

╚══════════════╝

request by: @multi-fandoms-stuff

"can I pretty request an imagine for aot eren, erwin, levi, connie, armin, jean, reiner, bertolt, ymir, and mikasa about them making there s/o squirt for the first time and there reaction, have the reader get all shy and trys to hide her face??"

notes: ahhh thank you so much for requesting, again im very sorry for the delay and late update, im back on writing now!

warnings: smut, squirting, overstimulation, bodily fluids

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

Eren Jeager:

You and Eren have got it going on for a few hours with him and his titan stamina plunging into you without letting you rest for a minute. You haven't even kept track of how long it's been or how many times he's made you cum that night, only focusing on his cock stretching you open and the way he is holding your throat. It's not long until your next orgasm arrives but oh, this time it feels different and suddenly you're squirting all over him and his cock as he keeps fucking you deeper and harder.

"Eren, I need to clean up, Im so sorry I didn't know this would happen, oh my-" You wail while pushing your hands over your face but instead of him stopping he just snaps his hips against yours harder and says:

"No. You're doing it again" Needless to say, you do, indeed.

Erwin Smith:

On your break you had snuck inside Erwin's office to steal a couple of kisses which soon ended up with you laying on the table all over his paperwork and him taking out his emotions on your poor pussy, to the point where you swear someone's going to walk in with a noise complain- not just due to your loud moans- but also due to the fact that his unsteady table is repeatedly creaking on the wooden floor.

"Erwin, I'm so close, Erwin I-ERWIN" You scream as you realize what is actually happening and not being able to hold it in. Both of you are freaking the fuck out. On any other situation he would find this really hot and treat you so good for squirting on him but you just came all over important papers which needed to be delivered awfully soon and neither has zero idea of what the hell you're supposed to do now. You freaking out must have been even louder than your sex noises and now you're adamant that everyone heard.

This was a different walk of shame

Levi Ackerman:

He had just changed the sheets to your shared bedroom when you walked in half naked after your shower, instantly igniting something inside him. The past few weeks had been really tiring for both and the only way to take your exhaustion away was having you bounce on his cock until you were in tears and shaking.

"You're gonna cum baby? I'm so fucking close too" He whispered in your ear like a lullaby in-between heavy breaths as he moved your hair out of your face and locked his eyes with yours. His movements were so gentle and passionate until you both grew desperate for your release and soon he was guiding your hips faster and sloppier while smacking your ass. It wasn't long until you started shaking while he filled you up. After you both came down from your highs you gained awareness of your surroundings and immediately shrunk to yourself.

"What are you hiding away for?"

"You just changed the sheets"

"I can always put another ones" He said awkwardly as you tried to shift away from his lap, when he pulled you right back in "It would be a shame if i changed them while they're only this wet. We might as well just ruin them completely"

Connie Springer:

Sasha and Jean were sleeping on the couch next to you after a nice dinner and Connie was feeling really turned on, right from the start of the night when you felt his fingers creeping up inside your panties and circling over your clit before teasing their way inside.

"Can we at least go somewhere isolated? I feel bad for-" You choked trying not to make a sound as his finger where now dipping in and out of your cunt in a desperate need of feeling your walls clench around them "Connie-"

"It's too comfy here, try to be more quiet baby" He whispered back as he lifted your skirt and pushed his tip inside not letting it all in but rather slipping it in and then pulling out and rubbing on your clit until you felt yourself cumming. Hard.

You were trying so hard to not make a noise until you realized what actually happened and turned around to look at your boyfriend in shock with heat rising up your cheeks. This cheeky motherfucker was looking back at you with the biggest smirk before plunging his entire length inside. Definitely proud of himself... And you definetely have to clean up before a) Jean and/or Sasha wake up b) Captain Levi haunts your dreams.

Jean Kirschstein:

Jean and you had been sent on different expenditions for the week so it was safe to say that you really missed spending time with each other. And him inside you.

Once he closes his room's door he already has you pushed against the wall and taking you right there while standing up. Jean is the romantic type but missing you made him desperate for your touch. You were sure you were seeing stars at one point, the way he pressed against you was magnificent and it just kept getting better and better until you felt the bubble inside you burst and soon your juices were everywhere on the floor. Everywhere.

You instantly felt like hiding away and audibly apologized while he still fucked the shit out of you. Confused he started slowing down and voiced his concern over your sudden apology until he realized what went down and blushed. 'Thats it, its over' you thought. Suddenly the most unexpected thing happened. A huge smile crept on his face "I made you squirt! Oh my god you look so hot, I bet Eren would never be able to make a girl sq-" He exclaimed before you kicked his leg.

Armin Arlet:

Armin is such a sweet young man. He had you laid on the bed for him as he slowly fucked into you, gasping in between kisses and telling you just how much he loves you. Gaining more confidence in yourself your moans became louder and louder and soon his pace changed into sharp and quick thrusts.

Your orgasm hit you like a freight train and cherished the way he was the one to make you scream and breathe like that. He felt so blessed that you chose him as the man to have inside your velvet walls and-

Why is the bed wet? Did the rain get through the wooden roof? Why are you trying to hide away? Armin genuinely had no clue.

"Is everything okay baby? Do you feel uncomfortable with the waters?" He asked as more color rose up to your cheeks, refusing to look in his eyes as you awkwardly tried to explain what had happened was not a leak in the roof "What did you say?"

"I squirted"

"Oh"

"Yes"

"This is way more exciting than a leaking roof...Way more"

Reiner Braun:

Reiner is an emotional man and it shows when you get intimate with each other. One time he has you on all fours, with a finger deep in your asshole as he rails your guts.

"Noone else can fuck you like that fuck- what is it baby, is there anyone else that will fuck you this good? Have you crying from their cock? Use your words princess come on" He gasped as his own tears were threatening to fall, seeking emotional validation as well as pleasure as you tried to form a coherent sentence while sobbing "Didn't think so darling, you're such a whore for me"

And in the heat of the moment the offspring of his actions and words erupted from your throat as a loud scream and your juices squirted all over his lap for the first time. The sighting made Reiner cum in an instant and neither had the energy to talk about it, until he embraced you tightly from behind and thanked you for allowing him to be with you and sharing your most vulnerable moment with him.

Berthold Hoover:

His cock felt so good as you bounced on it . In a way it was therapeutic and for the past 7 minutes you've been in this position you've felt constantly on the edge and your thighs burned until sweet release washed you over and soon you were clasping poor Bert's shoulders as you screamed and squirted all over him while he pulled his dick out of your spent pussy and slapped its head on your clit as he watched more liquid come out.

After your orgasm died down a little, instant shame washed over you and you tried hopping away before he hugged you tightly and swayed you without realizing that hes accidentally rubbing you on his cock again and that you are about to pass out....

Ymir:

Ymir is a big tease. A really big one. Proof being her refusing to finally push her fingers inside your soaked slit, instead choosing to just rub up and down while slipping half an inch inside before you grew desperate and moved your own fingers to your clit and rubbing vigorously.

"Fuck" You heard her exclaim before plunging two of her fingers inside "Don't stop touching yourself baby, wanna make you cum like that" She commanded as her fingers dove in and out as fast as she could while you screamed under her touch. Your orgasm came fast and before you knew it, Ymir was soaking wet with your juices . "Never knew my girl could squirt, makes me wish I ate you out instead" She says before diving in.

Mikasa Ackerman:

It was a quiet night with Mika as you laid on your bed next to each other. Your conversation ended with your fingers in her pussy and hers in yours. Both struggled with the pace as you chased your release and her moans in your ear caused you to lose control and instantly let go and clench around her fingers as clear liquid soaked the sheets right beneath you and she turned her head to look at you in awe.

"I'm so sorry Mikasa I didn't know this would-"

"Do you think I can do this too?" She asked with flushed cheeks and an innocent look on her face.

"Eh? Squirt?" You asked and before she had the chance to nod you took out the dildo from your drawer and plunged it deep into her dripping pussy.

[windvexer]

Hey Chicken. I've been having lots of new ideas about my path and what i want it to look like which is veryyy cool, i love feeling inspired! But it almost feels like im drowning in ideas and possibilities so i would like to journal and reflect on my priorities and get a pretty good picture of what is it I want. Can you give me some prompts? What can i ask myself that will help me sort of put all these ideas into place and get a coherent picture of my path. Thank youuuu, i hope i was clear in my ask lol

Introspective journaling questions and activities for those who are veryyy inspired but also feeling a little overwhelmed:

Why do you want to practice magic?

What are the top three things that you hope your magical practice will bring you?

What are the limitations of magic?

How does magic work?

Make a pie chart for the following categories: Self-Healing, Manifestation, Spiritual Connection, Other. How much space do you ideally want each slice to take up? How much space do they all take up right now?

How comfortable are you with the concept of gods? What about spirits?

What topics of research or practice are you not going to do right now? Why is that?

If you can only study ONE thing in-depth at a time, and you have to study it for an entire month before moving on, what are the first five things you would study?

Make a list of the major problems and limitations you are feeling in your life right now - including repetitive/chronic daily annoyances that are reducing your quality of life. Just make the list, that's it.

Pretend you're an RPG character and you have 25 points to spend on areas of magical specialization: Defense and Boundaries, Prosperity and Success, Offense and Malefica, Healing and Empowering, Relationships, Communication, Glamours and Illusion. The points are a metaphor for how you would ideally like to invest your time and energy.

How much time would you ideally like to spend researching versus practicing? Judge this in %s, not hours/minutes.

How much time would you like to spend on practical magic, versus spiritual self-development?

How often would you ideally like to work magic. Daily? Weekly? Monthly?

The more often we do magic and divination, the more drained we become. What is your plan for protecting your own energy to ensure you don't become exhausted or burn out?

[lizarddiary]

My quest on finding out if I want to fantasia to a miqo'te or stay as an au'ra is becoming harder by the day. Mainly, because Tahla is now kind of becoming a character in my mind. She would be Nara’s adopted sister.

Nara’s story is not fleshed out enough. It would be easy to give her a sister and make it coherent. Since I'm also planning on giving them clashing personalities, it can also become a very interesting dynamic between them. Tahla’s the strong one, punch first, ask questions later type of person. While Nara is all about diplomacy and trying to diffuse every issue with words and her wits. 

I already have tons of ideas for them! For their childhood, their relationship with their adoptive mother, their reasons to become adventurers… Both would have the echo, and it would make my own story a two-WOLs kind of story. And I really, really like the idea.

But my issue right now is that as I play with Tahla, I realize that I love playing as a miqo’te way more than I ever liked playing as an au’ra. I love their animations, their emotes, the voice options… I can be masc and femme as I please, too. And some glams look amazing on them. 

I know a solution would be having an alt, but I don’t quite like the idea. If anything just because I hate having to play the whole game again. Early ARR is really exhausting and I already had enough playing it once. Having to attune to all the aetherytes again, unlock all the special locations, glams, dyes… If I want to play as a miqo’te, I want to play with my actual character.

And that is an issue, because if I keep going with the idea of the sisters I would also change this account. For it to be not just about Nara, but also Tahla. So I would need to have both characters for Gposes and stuff.

Sorry for all this ramble, I’m terrible at making decisions. Especially if they involve spending money. 

In the meantime, I took some more photos of Tahla to showcase her personality a little bit more!

Full body with some casual clothes (sadly this is not a glam, I had to equip those).

"... and then I told 'im "Fuck ye, ye pice of shite!" " "Tahla... have you been drinking?"

Enjoying the cool and pleasant air of the night.

"Don't get too confident, you scum. I might be short, but I know how land a punch!"

[rjshepherd]

I need more submissive karl in heat 👀 with the same partner from before. Maybe their first time being exposed to karl in such a state? Let The Service Top Shine And Praise The Good Boy

ok its spicy under the read more as usual lads

- so im not a HUGE fan of making people, particularly abused men with agency into little UWU helpless baby subs when it comes to sex.

but that being said

karl is a little helpless when it comes to heats. They come on so strong and he is still a human, unlike the lycans. he’s just not equipped to deal with so many hormones flooding his body at once, even after having heats by years. he sort of just. malfunctions. Can't do things that yesterday he could do with ease, struggles with basic tasks because he's out of his mind with fever and horny. i don't know if id say "he needs an adult" but he def needs someone sober and not lust drunk to keep him out of trouble and remind him to eat.

- this submissiveness is absolutely not by choice. were it up to him he'd keep the bravado even when bottoming. He forces himself to keep going, pretend hes not having this kind of heat until he literally collapses with either fever or exhaustion and is usually just stuck lying where he fell until a lycan comes across him or the heat wears off. its a little different with you around but either way, hes not happy about this situation and he's sure as hell going to let you know about it.

- He cant take care of this himself so he's dependent on you. but that doesn't mean he's a patient man. i always say he's a bottom but he's not the most submissive person alive. there's a lot of "hurry up and fuck me already" or " get moving i cant wait any longer". its a cross between demanding and begging. if he can move without too much pain, he likes to top from the bottom if you know what i mean.

- i think the first time you came across him like this was different. You had NO IDEA what to expect and probably didn't even realise he was in such pain because he was so adept at hiding. now days you can tell, maybe even have a calendar so you can prep a few days before. but the first time was an absolute shit show. i can see it happening in a few different scenarios, you can choose which one you like best:

1. Karl wanders into the lycans den, desperate for some relief from his heat. the hormones have him almost floating towards the other infected like a loonytoons character smelling food, hes powerless to stop its pull on him. after a few hours of searching you finally find him in the lycans den, looking bloodied, like he's been in a fight. You dont know it until later, but that's just how lycans mate. there's no difference between fighting and fucking for them and this is how karl as been dealing with things for years. You freak out, dragging his semi-conscious ass from the bottom of the lycan pile and back to the factory to patch him up. When he finally comes to he's almost feral; he's having trouble making coherent sentences, body freaking out because he's not surrounded by the scent of the lycans. Feverish and painfully aroused in seconds he tries to shy away, get up and go back to the lycans but he's just too weak. He tries to hide his embarrassment from you as he spreads his legs, making a space for you between them. i see a smile creep onto your face as you realise what he's asking you to do for him. Imagine his surprise when you do actually clamber onto his bed whispering sweet nothings "dont worry darling, im here now. ill take care of you."

2. after a few days of just avoiding you, snapping at you and generally being a grumpy unlikeable fuck you both crack. You get upset first and that sets off karl. Hes shouting and shaking and finally he just slides down the wall, too tired to put up a fight anymore. before you know it he's angry crying from the stress of it all and finally just tells you whats wrong: he's harder than a slab of concrete and needs you, just you, to fuck him so he can finally get some peace. sitting on the floor of the bathroom or something it's hard not to see the tenting in his jeans " that looks painful." you mutter " want your alpha to take care of you?" you offer.

Karl whimpers, hand flying to his mouth to stifle the sound. EVENTUALLY he nods, letting you know he's game "good boy" you murmur crouching down in front of him . just your words had such an effect on him? he must be really suffering. so why didn't he just ask? pride probably. maybe he was embarrassed that you or your scent affected him so much. you're just a tiny uninfected human how can you have such influence over the most powerful lord in the village?

having you crouch there, gazing right through his tough facade is doing things to him. He's a little hesitant at first, spreading his legs or bending over to present himself to you. but it's such a sweet gesture, who are you to deny him? you literally fuck him into the floor where he fell, in the middle of the factory where anyone could see. maybe he uses his powers to help you lift him up so you can fuck him against the wall. he's taking most of his weight but he's acting like its all you, clinging to you for dear life as you rock his world. don't forget to praise him as you go, he is your good boy after all.

3. karl wakes up besides you with the worst heat he's ever had. His scent doesn't actually affect you but yours is REALLY affecting him. you can definitely smell his, regardless. If this is how strong it is for you, it must be absolutely MADDENING for poor karl. it's like a fog that's filled the whole room. Karl is almost incoherent with lust, able to do little more than whimper and beg for you to help him out. how you've come around to becoming the alpha's alpha is beyond you, but you aren't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

His hands are already down the front of his shorts, desperately trying to find some relief for himself but he just cant . He's dropped all pretense of shyness or embarrassment; he just doesnt care at all right now. you have a little chuckle to yourself "so shameless." you laugh , leaning over him. you inhale deeply running your tongue along the shell of his ear. Karl shudders "a-are you going to help me or not?" he huffs, eyes clenched shut . You answer his question by clamping your teeth down on his neck. Karl keens, back arching in pleasure but its not enough to push him over the edge. you slap his hands away to take care of him yourself. He's hopeless when he's like this. "you keep forgetting darling." you say as you sooth the bite with a kiss " no one can touch you like i can." i think this is one of the few times Karl ever submits to you completely : He needs you but he doesn't just want you to bred him, no, he wants to be yours, wants you to mark him for the whole pack to see. you have a blank cheque for mayhem. Make as much of a mess of Karl as you want, cover him in bites and kisses from head to toe, fuck him so hard he can't sit down for days or love him so gently he clings to you and cries in joy when he finally finds relief from this heat. He's yours now, you can do whatever you want with him ~

in the days after , karl is walking around with a love drunk expression, black and blue from bites and hickeys but happier than he's been in weeks. The other lords might raise a few eyebrows but as long as you two are together ,who cares what they think?

there you go nonnie, i enjoyed this IMMENSELY. in fact i genuinely might take all 3 of these scenarios and write some ftm or pegging specific reader x karl stuff. its good shit and since ive fleshed it out here half the work is done already lmao. theres a lot of karl fics out there rn but theyre all top, macho karl taking care of the reader ( which is great dont get me wrong) but i like to cater to a different audience ~