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the-wild-nerdy-gay · 1 year ago

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What happens when you get burned

Izuku Midoriya x (gn)reader

I decided to write a little hurt comfort piece that came to me while I was in the shower. Am I working on this instead of my drafts? Maybe but shut up okay. I have to write this before it leaves me. Also I am writing this on my phone because my laptop is ancient and being a pain in the ass.

This takes place in an AU where UA is a university. Reader and Izuku have been together since reader’s third/final year and Izuku’s second year. They live together and reader is a pro hero working under Mirko and Izuku is in his third and final year. Mirko and reader have a strong mentor and student/slightly maternal relationship. Reader also has a quirk based off of a honey badger but it isn’t super described.

Warnings: hurt/comfort, vague descriptions of violence, mentions of blood and burns, Izuku is soft as all hell, non-sexual nudity on the reader’s part, reader’s parents aren’t around for whatever reason, there is a high chance of reader cursing (it’s me writing this come on), reader has issues accepting and asking for help, also reader has a white streak near the front of their hair because of their quirk. (It’s based on a honey badger, I’m not sure if I describe it much though)

It was a few weeks after your boyfriend, Izuku, had moved into your apartment and you two had fallen into a nice little routine. You and Izuku would leave the house around the same time each morning, him going to university and you in your hero gear on your way to work. He would get home after getting off from his work study about half and hour before you would. You would get home at 6:30 on the dot or you would text him if you were going to be late for whatever reason. It was 7:45 and you weren’t home yet, you weren’t even answering your phone.

To say Izuku was worried would be an understatement. He was pacing your living room as he tried to call your cell for the nth time. His teeth dug into his thumb nail in worry as he continued to pace your living room. He eventually goes to your shared bedroom, deciding he was going to grab his jacket and go out looking for you.

It was then that your key could be heard jingling softly outside the door as you struggle to unlock it. The door swings open as you call out into the apartment with labored breath, “Honey? I’m home.”

You limp into the apartment, favoring your right leg while holding your right side with your left hand. You looked like you had been through hell, you’re hero suit is torn up, you are covered in scattered bruises and cuts, blood is splattered across your entire being and you are covered in dirt and dried sweat. Izuku comes rushing from the bedroom, dropping his jacket as soon as he sees you.

“Oh my god! Baby, are you alright?” He asks as he quickly joins your side, wrapping your arm over his shoulders while pulling you gently to lean against him so that he can support you. He pulls you into a gentle yet tight hug, relieved that you are alive and home at last. He presses a gentle kiss to your cheek while caressing your other one gently as he looks at you with a mix or relief and concern in his stunning green eyes.

“I’m sorry I’m late. I got caught up in a big fight at work, civilians and heroes alike were all hurt pretty badly and my phone was dead so I couldn’t text you. I’m sorry, honey.” You say, breathing still heavy as you lean against him, finally taking all weight off of your injured leg.

He gives you a soft smile at your apology before saying, “What matters is that you’re home and safe, my love. How are you doing? Are you hurt anywhere too badly?” He asks as concern for you takes over. He gently caresses the back of your head as he questions you, softly resting his head on yours as you lean against him. You let out a noise that sounds similar to a mix of a cough and a laugh before you answer.

“I’m pretty banged up to be honest, the worst are the burns on my right side and right leg. I got patched up but all the healing heroes were exhausted and I kept telling them to prioritize other heroes and civilians since I was one of the less injured believe it or not. By time they got back to me the best they could do was bandage me up. Once I finally got home the elevator was broken so I had to make it up two flights of stairs on my own.” You chuckle out the last part humorlessly at your bad luck.

He winces at the mention of your burns, knowing they must be unbelievably painful, his expression grows more concerned at your mention of making it up the stairs by yourself in this state. “I’m so sorry, sweetie. Is there anything I can do to help? I’m not sure how much I can help with the pain but I’ll do whatever I can for you.”

“Can you help me to the couch?” You ask clearly exhausted as you lean into his comforting touch. At this request he practically carries you to the couch, being mindful of all of your injuries before setting you down into the plush cushions as gently as possible.

“Are you comfortable there? Do you need any water or medicine? Just say the word and I’ll take care of it for you.” He asks wanting to make you as comfortable as possible.

“That would be great, you know there the pain meds are right?” You ask breathing deeply to cope with the pain as your eyebrows knit together.

“With the med kit, under the bathroom sink.” He responds as he heads to the bathroom quickly to grab the pain meds. He returns with the meds and a glass of water moments later. Izuku helps you drink and hands you the meds for you to take.

He sits next to you on the couch and gently caresses your arm. “If you need anything else or want anything at all, let me know and I’ll take care of it.” He says soothingly to you, concern seeping into his tone.

“Thank you, Izu.” You sigh out as the meds take effect and ease the pain.

“Anytime, sweetheart. Just get some rest, okay?” He says as he gently pulls you into his lap, needing to hold you close after being so worried about you and the emotional roller coaster of you getting home. He tries to make you as comfortable as you can be as your quirk causes you to slip into unconsciousness for a bit to let you heal some of your soreness and more minor injuries. He watches you as you rest against him with a worried expression, he has never seen you this injured before in his entire time of knowing you. You’re thicker and tougher skin protecting you from a lot of worse injuries but this is something else. He can’t help but wonder just who or what could have possibly done this to you.

You wake up about an hour later, shifting slightly. Izuku notices you are finally awake and moves the white chunk of hair near the front out of your face and gently caresses your cheek as you wake up.

“Hey, did you get some rest? Are you feeling any better?” He asks with a deeply concerned tone as he gives you a soft smile to try and comfort you.

“I’m still in pain from some of my injuries but the overall soreness is gone. I was going to try and take a shower to get all of this grime off of me.” You say as you try to stand up before quickly wincing and falling back down into Izuku’s lap. Luckily for you he caught you quickly with a worried look on his face as he gently guided you back to him.

“How about I take you to the bathroom?” He asks wanting to help you as much as he can.

“I don’t want to bother you with it. I can make it, just give me a second.” You say dismissing his offer.

“It’s not a bother at all, my love. Anything you need I’ll take care of for you, I’ll help you in any way I can.” Your comfort is the most important thing in the world to him, he loves you and seeing you in pain is agonizing for him. If he could trade places with you right now he would but he knows he can’t. He helps you stand as you wrap one of your arms over his broad shoulders. He would carry you if it weren’t for where your burns were located, preventing him from doing so.

“I’m sorry to make you do this, Izuku.”

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart.” He says cutting you off from further apology. “I just want to make sure you’re alright and helping you is making me feel better.” He reassures you, making it sound like you needing help is helping him. It actually is but you don’t know that, helping you makes him happy, that’s just who he is.

“Okay…”

Soon he’s setting you down on the bathroom counter while giving you a soft loving smile. You bend down to start untying your boots and flinch at the movement of your side. He’s gently easing you back up with a look of worry on his face.

“I’m sorry, love. It looks like you might have to do everything here.” You say as tears form in your eyes from pain and a deep feeling of uselessness sinks into your bones. You can’t even take your damn boots off, what kind of hero are you? Izuku gently wipes the tears from your eyes with his thumb as he sends you a reassuring smile before kissing your forehead. He gets down on one knee in front of you as he unties your boot before carefully removing it. He handles you like he’s caring for an injured kitten, more like honey badger but close enough. Once he’s removed both of your boots he sets them to the side neatly, mentally taking note to clean them for you tomorrow, he stands back up and gently cups your face in his hands.

“Take it easy, my love. And tell me when you need help again instead of trying to do it yourself. I’m here to help you and if that means doing things for you then I’m happy to do them.” He says softly as he kisses the crown of your head. You plague this man’s every thought and he loves every second of it, please just let him take care of you. You sigh softly as an attempt at acceptance.

“Can you help me out of my clothes? I know I can’t get out of this on my own if I can’t even get one boot off.” You say sounding slightly dejected at being so helpless and needing him to do everything for you right now.

“Of course, darling. Let me know if you need a break or anything like that, I’ll try and make this as easy on you as I can.” He says in a warm, reassuring tone. He moves slowly and carefully as he removes each article of clothing, giving you ample opportunity to ask for a break if you need one. He removes everything so gently as he carefully avoids all of your major injuries. Because of his carefulness this is an almost painless procedure for you but for the few grimaces of pain you give he whispers a soft apology while kissing whatever un-injured skin is available. Soon you are completely undressed sitting on your bathroom counter.

“Thank you for being so careful with me.” You say sounding vulnerable as you try to remove the bandages that cover your burns before flinching once again.

“It’s not a problem. You are so precious to me, you know that? I want nothing more than for you to be safe and happy and I will take great care of you in any way I can to make sure of that.” He says softly as he caresses your face gently, easing all signs of pain from it. He kisses your cheek softly before he looks at your injuries.

“Let’s get these removed so they don’t soak up any water and hold it to your injuries.” He says knowing that’s a quick way to make things heal incorrectly or become infected.

“We can take it slow. Whatever you need, baby.” He starts to remove the bandages with gentle hands, revealing nasty burns that he’s frankly surprised anyone would let you walk away with let alone you make it up the stairs with. It’s slow work as the gauze clings bloodily to your burns, but he’ll take as long as he needs. No amount of time is too much if it’s for you. He wants, no he needs, to make sure he gives you the best care possible.

“Do you need anything before the shower? Water, medicine, anything like that? Just say it and it’s yours.” He says so sweetly in your ear as he stands in front of your naked form yet again.

“In all honesty I’m going to need help actually showering. I don’t even think I can wash myself on my own.” You say sounding slightly frustrated with yourself but mostly disappointed and dejected with how useless you feel.

“Hey, you are not useless.” He says sensing your thoughts. “My love, you have been through a lot of pain and a lot of fighting today; we both know that. You’re allowed to need help, that is okay.” He says cutting you off from any rebuttal you might have. He picks up one of your hands and presses a loving kiss you your palm.

“I’ll help with the shower, okay? I’m here, I’ll take care of you. Just say what you need and I’ll do my best to help.”

“Okay, I’m sorry, I’m just not used to not having to do everything on my own when things like this happen. Can you please take me to the shower and help me wash off all this grime? I’m tired of feeling gross on top of the pain.” You ask so softly, you sound so vulnerable, so different from his brave, unshakable partner and it breaks his heart. Although the fact that you feel safe enough with him to let him see this side of you tells him he’s doing something right as your boyfriend, that doesn’t mean he likes seeing you hurt like this though.

“It’s alright; there’s no reason to be sorry.” He says as he wraps his arms around your shoulders softly while kissing the top of your head. He wants you to feel safe and to know that there isn’t a single reason you need to apologize for needing help.

“I’ll help you with the shower, love. You won’t have to worry about a thing.” He speaks into your scalp before he heads to the shower to turn it on and get it to the right temperature, not too hot as to aggravate your burns but also not too cold as to cause you any discomfort. He quickly returns to your side, not wanting to be away from you for more than a few seconds.

“Do you need anything before we get in? I’m here for you, whatever you need.” He asks so sweetly. He just wants to make sure you have everything you could ever need, especially now.

“I just want to be clean.” You sound so small, almost broken. It tears Izuku apart knowing how bad you must be hurting.

“You will be clean in no time, my love.” He lifts you off the counter with such care and helps you into the shower. The water soaking into the shirt and sweatpants he was wearing around your apartment before you had gotten home. Even as the warm water soaks into his clothes including his socks all of his attention is on you, the fabric clings to his built frame and he doesn’t notice as he does everything he can to take care of you.

“Thank you, Izuku.” You whisper as you lean against him in the shower. He really does care about you to the ends of the earth.

“It’s no trouble at all, sweetheart. You’re safe with me, no matter what, I’ll always take care of you.” He speaks so genuinely as he looks down at you with a sweet smile, his perfect green eyes radiating love for you.

“Tell me if you need to be a little more gentle, okay? I won’t be rough at all, I promise. We can take all the time you need. I’m here for you.” Every action he takes is one of undeniable love you you.

“Thank you.” You whisper softly as silent tears, caused by everything that happened, roll down your cheeks and mix with the water from the shower head. He notices the tears falling as you lean against him and he graces you with a soft caring look.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks. “You don’t have to of course but no matter what it is I’ll be here to listen, okay?” He says softly, he just wants to give you every bit of comfort he can. He’d let you do whatever you need to feel better. You stare ahead of yourself with and almost blank look as you stare at the tile wall silently for minutes. He waits for you patiently as he continues to get the blood, dirt, and sweat off of your skin. You continue to stare with that silent, blank look at the tile before speaking.

“Every time I close my eyes I can see what happened today. I see hurt people, I see the blood and their agonized facial expressions, I couldn’t even stop to help ease any of their suffering. I practically hear their screams of fear and pain. It echoes in my head, I hear it all. I see my mentor on the ground completely unmoving. I thought Mirko died, I thought she was gone. I thought I lost my mentor. I can still hear her agonized screams go silent, hear my boots on the ground as I rush to her side, feel the fire tear into my skin as I defend her body… That’s how I got these burns, I wouldn’t let anyone near her. She’s the closest thing to a mom I have left and I thought I lost her because I wasn’t fast enough.” The words tumble out of you before silent sobs rack your system. Shaking as you lean into him while the shower rains water on top of both of you.

His heart breaks at your words. You’re words speak of the pain you felt as you fought for not only your own life but the life of someone so important to you as well. He can’t imagine the fear you felt when you heard Mirko’s screams. He hugs you tightly and carefully as he pets your head soothingly, his heart shatters as you continue to sob and your hands grip tightly into his soaked tshirt. All he wants right now is to take that pain away from you but he can’t so he just continues to hold you, keeping you from completely falling apart.

“The paramedics said that because I kept her safe after she went down they were able to save her but I haven’t seen her since they took her away. I just…I just can’t…can’t make myself believe she’s okay. I know they told me she’s alive and fully healed but I can’t make myself believe she’s not dead. No matter what anyone tells me I just keep seeing her unmoving body.” You sob out against his chest, naked and emotionally vulnerable against him as the shower continues to wash away your tears. He continues to hold you tightly as he runs his fingers though you’re hair. With each sob you let out he can feel a deep sharp pain in his chest. He knows all he can do is hold you right now but god he wishes he could do more.

“I’m sorry….I’m so sorry.” You repeat over and over again into his chest. You can just barely be heard over the sound of the water, you sound so broken in this very moment and Izuku can’t help it. He wants to tear apart whatever did this to you, his precious love. But he knows you took care of it, you’re so strong like that, he knows you wouldn’t let someone get away with hurting that many people or your mentor without them paying for it dearly. He also knows something else, you need and you deserve soft gentle love and comfort right now. So he pushes that fierce protectiveness away and focuses on holding you and giving you whatever you need.

“Don’t be sorry, my love.” He whispers against the top of your head as he continues to run his fingers through your hair.

“You have absolutely nothing to apologize for.” He continues as the pain in his heart grows each time those words tumble out of your mouth, he tries not to let it show for you though. Right here, right now; you can be as emotional, and as fragile as you need. You need that and he is going to give it to you, just like everything else you could ever need or want.

Soon enough, you run out of tears to cry as you lean against him; completely and totally emotionally exhausted. But you are now clean thanks to him. He continues to hold you as he caresses the back of your head softly. The shower seems to have washed away some of your pain as well which gives him some hope of you healing from this, both physically and emotionally.

“I’m proud of you, my love. Everything you went through, everything you felt…it takes courage to deal with all of that, and you did it. I couldn’t ask for a better partner by my side.” He says softly to you as he tilts your head up to look into your eyes. Those perfect eyes he fell in love with, they no longer show the pain they had when you limped into the apartment earlier that night, now they mostly look exhausted. You remain silent against him but he can tell you are at least felling better now that you aren’t holding that all in. The concerned look on his face melts into a look of love and kindness before he kisses your forehead. He continues to hold you for a bit longer, just wanting to make you feel as loved and safe as possible before he turns off the water.

“Can you help me dry of and re-bandage these burns?” You ask in the smallest voice he has ever heard from you. He smiles however, finally hearing you speak again after remaining silent for so long. He can tell you are coming out of it and that you will be okay.

“Of course, my love. I’m here to take care of you.” He says softly as he sets you down on the edge of the tub. He grabs a warm fluffy towel and gently drys you off before wrapping it around you. He then begins to carefully clean and re-bandage all of your wounds. He even covers the minor cuts you’ve managed to receive with bandaids. He places a gentle kiss on the undamaged skin near your burns and places soft kisses on all of your smaller, less tender injuries. You feel absolutely no pain through the entire thing thanks to his feather light touches and his careful attention to you. You continue to stare off into space as he works, still haunted by what you saw today but no longer feeling alone in it.

“Thank you.” You whisper in a small exhausted voice.

“It’s no problem at all, love. I’m here to help you however you need. You aren’t alone, my love, you’ll never be alone when you’re with me.” He says as he kneels in front of you, catching your eyes with those soft emerald green ones of his.

“Can you get me some clean clothes and help me get dressed?” You ask again in that small vulnerable voice. He smiles at the request though, happy to see you asking him for help even when it’s not needed.

“Of course I can, my love.” He says lovingly as he strips out of his dripping clothes, leaving him in his boxers before grabbing another towel and drying himself off. He doesn’t want to drop water all over the apartment and give you something to slip on especially in your injured state. He leaves and returns quickly, now dressed in a dry shirt and sweatpants, carrying a change of clothes for you. It’s your favorite shirt to wear of his and your favorite sweatpants of his to steal. They fit you loosely so he knows they won’t aggravate or squeeze your injuries. He helps you get dressed again, it’s again a slow and careful process as he diligently makes sure you don’t get hurt again. Once you’re dressed Izuku gives you a kiss on the cheek and kneels in front of you again as you sit on the edge of the tub.

“Do you want anything to eat or drink, love? Anything at all, we can even order from that takeout place you like or I could make your favorite.” He offers as he caresses your arm, planting kisses to your knuckles.

“I think I just want to rest and be held if that’s alright.” You say as you look up at him, almost afraid of being too needy even though you went through hell today.

“That’s absolutely alright with me.” He says as he gives you a soft look. He wants to show you that it’s safe for you to feel vulnerable around him.

“Rest all you need, love. Just let me know if you need or want anything. I’ll always be here to support you.” He gently kisses your forehead after he finishes speaking.

“I just want you here.” You say softly as a single tear rolls down your cheek in relief at finally, finally feeling safe after everything.

He wipes away your tear with his thumb. This is one of the only times he’s ever seen you cry in the three years he’s known you and frankly those two times was more than enough for a lifetime with you. He never wants you to be this upset again, in his mind the only tears he deems acceptable are tears of joy. To him you deserve to be so happy that you only know tears of joy, you should never have to hurt like this.

“Then that’s what you’ll get.” He responds determined to give you everything you want as he holds you close to him. He holds you firmly and safely, he wants you to feel the support he has for you through his touch, wants you to know he’ll always be here for you and never abandon you. He stands with you, lifting you of the edge of the tub, as you cling to him like a lifeline. Like he’s the one thing holding you up, which in all honesty he kind of is. You both stand there for a few minutes as he gives you physical and emotional support through his touch. After everything that happened today he wants to ensure that you know that you will always have him. After a few more moments of holding each other you whisper to him from where your head rest on his strong shoulder,

“Can we go to bed, honey?”

“Yes, darling, of course. Anything for you.” He says with so much love for you it practically drips from his words. He carefully helps you to the bedroom, practically carrying you the whole way before he tucks you into your shared bed.

“Is there anything you need before we sleep love? A glass of water, something to eat? You name it and it’s yours.” He asks softly as he strokes your cheek.

“Just stay with me? Please?” You ask softly, not wanting to be alone.

He gives you a reassuring smile as he gets into bed next to you. He gently pulls you to him, careful to avoid your injuries before he rest his chin on top of your head.

“I’ll stay right here, love. I’m not going anywhere.” He strokes your damp hair gently as he holds you tightly to himself. Nothing is going to hurt you while he’s here, he’ll make sure of it.

“I love you so much, sweetheart, and I’ll always be here too protect you.” He says into your hair but you barely hear him as you quickly fall asleep in his arms, finally looking peaceful for the first time since you got home.

He stays awake for a little while longer, holding you securely. He can hear the tv in the living room that he forgot to turn of, the news is playing softly and the can hear that they are talking about you.

“Honey Trap, pro hero and sidekick to pro hero Mirko, defends their mentor and hundreds of civilians from a fiery villain attack. Thanks to the two heroes fighting bravely there were no civilian or hero casualties. As of now Mirko is expected to make a full recovery thanks to the emergency medical staff, healing heroes, and her protégé Honey Trap protecting her. The pro Honey Trap was seen on their feet hours after the fight on their way home. We are wishing them both a speedy recovery and we thank them both for risking their lives to keep us all safe.” The news reporter says in her monotone news anchor voice. After hearing that Izuku can’t help but be proud of you, he looks down and brushes that white streak near the front of your hair out of your face before falling asleep himself.

The next day there was a sharp, loud knock on your apartment door. Izuku was washing dishes from when he had made you lunch and quickly dries he hands to go answer the door. Mirko was behind the door when he opened it.

“I’m here to check on them. Are they awake?” She asks the freckled man as soon as he opens the door, keeping her voice low to keep from disturbing you if you were asleep.

Izuku leads her to your bedroom where you’re laying down. He lets her in quietly as to not disturb you in case you had managed to fall back asleep. She quickly and quietly joins your side before you turn to look at the noise.

“Rumi! You’re okay!” You say excitedly as you try to sit up before flinching and laying back down.

“Take it easy, kid. You’re going to hurt yourself.” She says with a chuckle as she leans down to hug you. If you are capable of being excited then you will be fine. “I actually have you to thank for that you know. I saw the news and saw how you protected me after I went down. I’m proud of you, kid.” She says as a hand rest on your shoulder.

“I’m just glad you’re okay! I was so worried.” You say finally relaxing completely now that you can see her standing there in front of you.

“I knew you would be, that’s partially why I’m here.” She says as she ruffles your hair with her hand.

“Well now that you know I’m alive and I know you’re okay I’m going to let you rest. I’ll send a healer hero over here tomorrow for you, until then make sure you rest. And let this poor boy take care of you like we both know he wants to.” She says with a chuckle before taking her leave. Little did you know she was just as worried about you as you were about her, but you didn’t need to know that.

Author’s note time. Do I know how long this is? Absolutely not. But I do know it took me at least six hours of straight writing to complete it. This came to me in the shower a few nights ago and I knew I couldn’t let it go. Now I would like to especially thank @lovinkiri for not only encouraging all of my writing endeavors but also being a truly amazing friend. She is one of the best people I know and I couldn’t be more thankful she is a part of my life. Her writing inspires me to continue writing even though I don’t get much of it done and she encourages me to continue despite that fact. There have been a few mornings where I got out of bed because she was there and thanks to her I have been self isolating less. I can’t thank you enough for everything you do for me, bean. I love you and I hope you enjoyed.

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k1spiegel · 5 months ago

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rundown of the past four days around bub's wedding (today included):

thursday:

got picked up by my aunt (and her friend. and a diff aunt's granddaughter) around like 8

spend the night at her house bc its close to the airport i was leaving out of

friday:

aunt and uncle drive me to the airport

my first flight is delayed enough to the point where i'd be getting into california at 9 pm if i got on it. they find a diff flight to replace it whichll get me in around 6

that flight also gets delayed by a storm

extremely scary first time flying

four hour layover with my second flight being delayed by a different storm

picked up by mom and driven to the rv her and dad took to california to sleep there for two nights

SAW BUB YAAAAY

saturday:

wake up at 7 to start getting ready for the wedding (11:30 am)

hang out w riz eric and bub for a bit beforehand

cried at the wedding multiple times

cried at the reception multiple times

that happened

didnt drink but did dance and hung out w riz and eric a lot

have kind of a shitty night after the reception bc mom got drunk enough to struggle walking (as an older disabled woman in heels. me and dad helped her .)

fall asleep at like 10 pm

sunday (today):

wake up at 4 with dad because my flights at 6

first flight goes perfectly fine. great. three hours no issue

40 minute layover in dallas (nightmare airport.) turns into about an hour because of. idk. misc delay

i got really scared in dallas bc of the escalators so i took an elevator

rough as fuck flight back because of storms because were flying to fucking florida

when we land the bridge to connect to our plane breaks so we had to be rescued via emergency staircase.

get picked up by a family friend and taken home to where i am: now

#k1.txt #im so tired.

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solaarbeeam · 2 years ago

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I posted 494 times in 2022

That's 494 more posts than 2021!

262 posts created (53%)

232 posts reblogged (47%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@avid-idiot

@httpghostface

@shoverse

@https-true-egoist

@sulkylious

I tagged 290 of my posts in 2022

Only 41% of my posts had no tags

#— [ asks and replies ��️ ] - 18 posts

#my wifey : nessa - 16 posts

#my gamer bf : rez - 13 posts

#jordans screaming tag - 7 posts

#jordans reblong tag - 7 posts

#— [ melli's the sweetest 🍬] - 6 posts

#the tallest mf i've met : aspen - 6 posts

#my wife : nessa - 4 posts

#maya's yelling - 4 posts

#gay. just simply gay : atlas - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#so when my other friend anthony tried to confront her she cursed him out in front of him and started talkin abt his family and stuff

My Top Posts in 2022:

okay but like fuck the MBTI’s and whatever whatever here’s the real question

are you an ass, thighs, tits, or hugs and kisses guy

19 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

y’all cant tell me osamu isnt the most wack person ever

AND THIS IS WHY

he’s even more wack than atsumu. osamu literally knows how to do parkour and gymnastics and stuff but he uses it in the most obscene situations

this man will put extra salt in your food if you pissed him off that day and giggle as you gag and everyone thinks its suna but its really him

he’s also a certified omnisexual and a demi-boy. argue with the wall

but back to what i was saying

he’ll do the most craziest and random things to get back at you. You called out in class while he was raising his hand and you weren’t. oops! guess who cant find their shoes. he will steal them, OUT OF THE BLUE RANDOM.

he always blames them on suna bc kita loves him like he’s his child but in reality he’s more of a menace than atsumu

i love him

25 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

MAKE IT NATURAL

SUGAWARA KOUSHI -> WEEK ONE, DAY ONE

The fresh summer afternoon was pretty, with the sun high in the sky coming through the windows. It was about a solid 11:30 AM, and the sun was shining as bright as it liked to.

However, it wasn't for you as you were struggling in the bathroom of your huge house, since Sugawara works at a private K-12 School, trying to comb and pick out your hair while it was not listening.

Sugawara was downstairs, with the TV, watching Rupauls Drag Race, until he heard your frustrated screams of annoyance from the bathroom upstairs.

With a ragged sigh, he took himself up the stairs to find you literally dragging your comb through your hair, trying to comb it out before washing it.

He sighed to himself once again, and gave you a hug. He took the comb from you, and proceeded to do it himself.

To your surprise, your hair actually was tame for once in your life. As Sugawara combed through the tangled hair, you were still sort of mad, but only because somehow your hair didn’t wanna behave when you did it.

However, you sucked it up. Because your hair was never gonna be this tame again.

32 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

SPOTIFY’S DOWN NOOOO

37 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

# sakusa, komori, and hinata ! i feel like they have undiagnosed ODD (like me) and had struggled with it growing up, and their families had already been very taxing on them. Hinata’s dad kept causing problems which resulted in him walking out on Shoyo, Natsu, and their mom. Sakusa and Komori had naturally taxing families

this led to a lot of fights and arguments, which ended up with sakusa and komori becoming more aggressive than the normal person.

so when you come along, its way different.

they’re hostile towards you, they’re more aggressive when it comes to certain things, and they love to try and start fights with you just to push you away.

but you still stayed.

and that’s exactly why, as soon as they had asked you why, they might’ve been afraid of you leaving.

but not as much as they would be, because you always stayed.

70 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #omg #thats crazy

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gorlsgurlsgirls · 2 years ago

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Actually, I didn’t want to do this here bc I don’t want to be another person complaining about their husband, but I don’t have a lot of spare money for therapy at the moment and I don’t feel like I can talk to friends and family. I was nervous about that before I got married - who do I talk to when I need to talk about my marriage, my husband? I went into this not really knowing the answer. But this is my private tumblr damnit, so I need to get this out, if only for me.

Marriage is hard. And I knew it would be, even if I didn’t know specifically how. I’m trying my hardest but I don’t think I’m doing well with it. J works 60 hours a week in shipping/logistics and now that it’s the holidays, he went to work today. Who knows how many more weekends he’ll volunteer. I asked him not to, that I’ve been stressed with Teddy, but he said that the time and a half was too good to turn down. This hurts me. I know money is a huge stress factor, but it feels like he’s putting money before my sanity. I do the grocery shopping, the laundry, the cleaning, and try to manage his spending habits. I don’t want to paint him out as some loser - he is in recovery for opiate addiction from a gym injury years ago and a doctor that was too eager to prescribe him stronger and stronger meds. He’s three years clean, but his addictive behaviors show up in other ways that we’re working on. He didn’t have a good example of a healthy marriage or home/family life growing up, so I know he wants to overcome that. He tries, and I am grateful, even if I am impatient sometimes.

I had a meltdown last night because Teddy was being difficult all day. I am the one who is home with him the most - who wakes up to feed him and take him potty at 6:30 before I get ready for work. I buy his treats, prepare any snacks or puzzles for him during the day, take him for walks, feed him dinner, try to tire him out before bed. I work on training new skills and reinforcing things he’s already learned. There is mostly dirt with some patches of grass in the front yard where he goes potty so I wash his feet off daily and bathe him often. I don’t have a lot of free time bc he’s like a toddler, and some days it’s just very difficult. My MIL is home with him so I try to make things as easy for her as possible, but there are times where I feel like he’s annoying her and my FIL. So I look into obedience classes so I can get some help in the areas where I’m struggling.

I’m grateful that they let us live with them, but I’m so tired of living with my in laws. They should have been divorced 20 years ago and they snap at each other often. Their language can sound harsh sometimes when it’s a normal conversation, so I can never tell if they’re fighting or talking about the weather. My body always assumes fighting, so I try to hide in our room. But that’s difficult with a puppy. I think my FIL has dementia or something. He makes choices that are seemingly based in no logic, and it makes things stressful or difficult for everyone in the house, as he has hoarding tendencies and often leaves messes everywhere.

The house itself is quite old and has random holes and poorly done renovation that lets in bugs and pollen and so much dust. So there’s always always always something that needs to be cleaned. I’m desperate to move out but finally just replaced J’s 20 year old car so much of the savings went to the down payment. We live in Orange County and it’s just a difficult time to try and find a reasonably priced place to live.

I work in special education which wasn’t my plan, but last year the principal asked me to as a favor so I did. Even though I had no experience in special ed, it’s been alright for the most part. My schedule has changed about 8 times at random and they pull me to work wherever is needed, including things that were not in my job description. I have to be an expert on my 7 kids that I am with throughout the day. 4 of the kids are in a class where I hate the teachers management style, and that has led to a lot of disrespect from his students (not my kids) when I’m in there. Nothing gets done about this. I hate the new principal who is a raging jerk and think he’s gods gift to this earth. I don’t think I’ll stay past this year, if I make it through this year.

Earlier this year I decided I had to leave Mormonism. This has been one of the most devastating things in my life to experience. It felt like this was no longer my home, that they were becoming more extreme in beliefs that I couldn’t agree with or reconcile, that my personal beliefs didn’t align with them - the place where I learned my sense of integrity. It’s a strange thing to comprehend. Then after a lot of uncomfortable research, I realized it wasn’t true. I think there are so few experiences in life where you realize that everything is a lie, and I never expected my religion to be one of them. That has led to so much grief and an identity crisis, because the beliefs of Mormonism are so deeply intertwined with your sense of identity, how you move throughout the world, how you see others, what you think is coming after this life, what the purpose of anything is. I don’t have many answers now. I don’t know what this life is all for and must now create my own meaning. I’m also in the process of deconstructing the ways I’ve been hurt by sexuality and a strict purity culture and how this has affected my relationship with my husband. Mormonism also informs my sense of community so I’m not quite sure how to develop one outside of the church and I’m lonely at times. But the worst part is that I don’t feel like I can be honest and tell my family about it, because I am afraid of the way they will treat me, or how our relationship will change. The idea of love, in Mormonism, is somewhat conditional, so I have no idea how they will accept this news, and the ways I will disappoint them.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder around this time in 2020 after a difficult year. During a recent first time meeting with a psychiatrist, she informed me that she wasn’t sure this diagnosis was correct. I have often wondered this myself, which has been uncomfortable to think that you’re making things up about yourself, like it’s for attention. She thinks I could have a lesser version of it, as more people are starting to view bipolar as a spectrum, but at the very least, she says it’s some sort of mood disorder. All I know is that several times a year, I think I’m going insane. I try my damndest to keep my emotions under control, and wish I could get credit for how hard I try to be nice to others and to not destroy my own life regularly.

It’s not bad all the time. Some beautiful light is shining through the window right now. I live somewhere that keeps me warm at night and relatively safe. I have people who love me, even if they live far away. I’m listening to good music. Christmas is coming. I’m working on our room with holiday decorations so I can enjoy them. My car is running. We have food to eat. In this moment I am happy to get this all off my chest and give myself space to realize that I am sad about a lot of things, both yearning and contented. That is life, I suppose.

#read for some emo girl hours diary entry stuff i guess #this isn’t really for anyone but it feels so much better to let it out and to be witnessed by someone

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dorefasolsido · 9 months ago

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39.

1. Did you wake up cranky?

No, I struggled to wake up but felt surprisingly fine once I did.

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

Nah. They're waaaay too young.

3. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

I don't really care, but I've always had more girl friends. I guess I just relate to them better.

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Yeah, why not.

5. Can you commit to one person?

Tbh, I definitely have some commitment issues. Not so much in a sense that I need to be with more people at once, but rather that as soon as things start looking serious (even with friends), my avoidant attachment kicks in.

6. How do you look right now?

Just as I always do when I'm sitting around the house.

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

Black leggings, black socks, and a black Christmas sweater with a deer on it. Yes, I'm aware we're waaay past Christmas now.

8. How often do you listen to music?

Usually I listen to it in the car.

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Jeans, but lately cargos are my go-to.

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2014?

Lol damn. Well, I don't think my life changed dramatically then, but it did in 2014.

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

I'm not either, I guess you'd say I'm a bit asocial. But I'm not actively antisocial.

12. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

Well, nothing. I mean, what can I do? I'd just accept it and try to move on.

13. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

A little too good, I'd like to unlearn some of that.

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

Yup.

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

Sure, I don't think anyone enjoys when other speak badly about them.

16. Are you going out of town soon?

Probably, yes. To this big teambuilding event.

17. When was the last time you cried?

I know for sure I cried on Tuesday.

18. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Hmm, you could kind of say so. I never really expected to consider dating a girl.

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

I like my eye colour, but sure. Wouldn't hurt to try a different one.

20. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

Tomorrow will just be a day for seeing people I haven't seen for a while.

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

My day was actually perfectly and then I suddenly started feeling so restless at 12 AM and had no idea what to do. That happens so often, like everything's just fine and then my brain goes like "But aren't you enjoying yourself too much?" Like, leave me alone, man.

22. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

Another difficult question, so I'll say kinda. And I think that same friend liked me back at the time.

23. Are you nice to everyone?

I try to be, but tbh, I wish I wasn't really always.

24. What are you sitting on right now?

The couch in my living room.

25. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Cheating would not be the issue at all. The issue would be if I'm able to not get spooked by feelings and run away. I used to be better about this, but I feel like I've definitely regressed in this department.

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Not really.

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

I think my cat lol.

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Not normally, but in the past few months I did.

29. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

Nope.

30. Does anyone hate you?

I don't know. I can think of one person who might, but I'm not sure even she does either.

31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

Kind of, but I'm not sure I could tell everything to anyone.

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

Yess, my favourite genre.

33. Are you a jealous person?

Not normally. But I've had my moments in the past, when I was much younger.

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

I don't think I'd delete any of them. Even 2020 and 2023, both of which absolutely sucked, I'd still keep.

35. Did you have a dream last night?

I did but I completely forgot what it was about.

36. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

Again, I do think there are people who would listen and not judge, but the problem is literally just in me and my need for privacy.

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

No. I have no interest in marriage.

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Idk, I rarely assume that. The friend I mentioned before, I'm not sure if he still feels that way and I'm also not sure how serious another friend is when he jokingly talks about us dating. But I'm always inclined to say no.

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

I doubt it, it's late and most people I know are asleep.

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

It was good, actually.

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

Nope.

42. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

In some ways it is, in other ways, it's completely different. My living situation is largely the same, but I feel like I've totally changed as a person in the past few years.

43. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

I don't have such a person.

44. What’s the best part about school?

When you're done and you can go home.

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

I deleted my FB.

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

We did pass notes sometimes, and then later we transitioned to texting.

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

Often. Way, way too often.

48. Were you single over the last summer?

Of course I was.

49. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

Nothing really, thank god. I'm so so tired of work.

50. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

She's cute.

#personal #surveys

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midnightlizard · 10 months ago

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PROMPTS

You can use prompts to request me a fic (no more than two)

Like: "character with -number- from the -category prompt-"

Some of these are mine but most of them are from @creativepromptsforwriting 's blog (make sure to check it out for amazing prompts!!)

I might add more as I go

Fluff prompts

1. Saying "I love you" in the most mondane settings

2. Trying to sneak a pet into the house/pleading the other to keep them

3. Never being able to keep their hands off each other

4. Light kisses

5. Desperate kisses

6. Fixing the other's tie/dress/clothes

7. Rambling about their interests

8. Getting all flustered when they’re close/ b starts to question if they're all right.

9. Awkwardly playing with their hands, B takes their hands in theirs.

10. Getting close to prevent getting cold

11. Teaching them how to do something

12. Grinning stupidly whenever they receive a compliment

13. Leaving lipstick stains on their collar/face/body

14. A settling their head into B's lap while they watch television/are reading a book.

15. A is constantly distracted, but B always has their full attention

16. A is very loud, B hates loud noises

Dialogue prompts

1. “I love you.” “I know.”

2. “It’s always been you.”

3. “Pinky Promise?”

4. "I’m better when I’m with you."

5. ��Was that an insult or a compliment?”

6. “Wanna help me make a new super suit?”

7. “The rest of the world can wait, I just want to be with you.”

8. "Do you need a place to stay for tonight?"

9. "Look at us, we’re basically a couple already."

10. "Can I kiss you?"

11. "Is that my shirt?"

12. "You own my heart."

13. "I could get used to this."

14. "Can we just lie here for a moment?"

15. "I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge"

16. "You’ve always felt like home."

17. "I can’t imagine a world/life without you."

18. "I am home."

19. "I’m right where I belong."

20. "You’re the only one I wanna wake up next to."

21. "I can’t stay away from you."

22. "You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen."

23. “You know my house has a door? You don’t always have to use the window”

24. "You brought me lunch?"

25. "i owe you my life."

26. “Can I do it for you?”

27. "Let me do it for you"

28. "You’re the only person I want to be with tonight."

29. "You’re not going anywhere."

30. "Let me walk you home"

31. “I can see you struggling to keep your eyes open.”

32. "you look beautiful." "I'm covered in mud."

33. “remember you love me?” “oh my god, what did you do?”

34. "I hate how much you acting like an idiot makes me want to make out with you."

35. "I would, for you."

36. “You’re blushing.” “Yeah, because you’re so close.”

37. “Can I kiss you, please?”

38. "For someone who hates me, you're not pulling away."

39. “Your hands are so soft.”

40. "Shut up, I'm trying to confess my love to you."

41. "i think this is the part where you're supposed to kiss me"

42. "kiss me again"

43. "if i didn't know you, I'd say you're trying to seduce me"

44. “Please don’t ever stop touching me.”

45. "You’ve shown me what love feels like."

Hurt/comfort prompts

1. A telling B to take care of themself more, but inevitably end up taking care of the other themself.

2. A fainting and B scolding them bc they weren't sleeping/eating enough.

3. Kneeling down and wiping their tears away.

4. Being the only one who can understand when they're uncomfortable

5. Get them out of their head by squeezing their hand

Dialogue prompts

1. “Can you hold me until it’s over?”

2. “Why can’t you see that I’m in love with you?"

3. “I can’t keep dating other people and pretending they’re you.”

4. “Just lie to me to make me feel better.”

5. "Would you let me take care of you?"

6. "That won’t work. Try again."

7. “Don’t change yourself for me."

8. "Do you trust me?"

9. "It’s lonely here without you."

10. "We’re more than friends and you know it!"

11. "I don’t want to be alone right now."

12. "I’m not going anywhere."

13. "Are you even listening to me?!"

14. "Can’t you stay a little longer?"

15. "I think you’re just afraid to be happy."

16. "I tried my best not to feel anything for you, but I failed."

17. "I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me before."

18. "I’ve never hated you. You just... make me feel things I don’t understand."

19. "Please, don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry."

20. "I don't care if you want me here or not. I'm staying."

21. "look at me! just focus on me, okay? okay, you got this!"

22. "tell me what i can do for you." "stay."

23. “Don’t be worried. I’m right here.”

24. “Be more careful, please.”

25. "Sit down for a second and talk to me."

26. "I saw what happened."

27. “I promise I will never let anything bad happen to you."

Mixed prompts

1. “How can I mind my own business when you’re here?”

2. “I still hate you, ya know?”

3. “You were just another person to save, nothing more and nothing less.”

4. “Can’t you dress up for me? Please?”

5. “If you spend all your time staring at me, how are we going to get this done?”

6. “Woah, you have powers too?”

7. “THAT’S your ex?!”

8. “Sorry, what did you just say?”

9. “Are you high?”

10. “Oh shit, is it that bad? Am I gonna die?”

11. “Really? Stacking a plus two?”

12. “I never lose.”

13. “I didn’t want you to see this.”

14. “Why are you up so late?”

15. “I thought you died.”

16. “You could have died!”

17. “Do you regret it?”

18. “Why are you whispering?”

19. “People are looking at us.”

20. “Here? You want to do this here?”

21. “How much of that did you hear?”

22. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

23. “You’re shaking.”

24. “How have things been?”

25. “I don’t owe you an explanation.”

26. “I’m not sneaking out.”

27. “You’re a superhero?”

28. “Trust me, I know what I’m doing” “Okay, maybe I don’t…”

29. “Why are you all the way up here?”

30. “I wonder who’s behind the mask.”

31. “I’ve missed this

32. “I’ll never understand what goes on inside your head.”

33. “Love is stupid. I don’t know why you like it.”

34. "You expecting someone?"

35. "Compliments won’t pay my drinks."

36. "Maybe, just maybe, if I get a free drink I might consider talking to you."

37. "I didn’t think you could get any less romantic."

38. "I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me."

39. "Why haven’t you kissed me already?"

40. "You’re a terrible liar."

41. "They were clearly checking you out and you didn't do anything, that's why I'm mad!"

42. "you know all my hiding places.

43. "so... is anyone going to fill me in?"

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voicesdigitlyme · 1 year ago

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Why are most foreigners leaving the Philippines?

This is an excerpt of my story, followed by a few others that have not been scrubbed from the net, by the Philippine division of Tourism. I have found many of these on different sites, and if you have thoughts of moving there, you should search for them yourself. I am putting this together to hopefully warn others, as most articles, as I said, are being actively scrubbed from the net. Many, many of them are written by Filipino's. I lived in the Philippines for 7 years. I am currently married to my second Filipina wife of 10 years. My 1st Filipina wife and I were married 6 years here in the U.S, but after retiring 1 year in the Philippines we divorced. She could not handle the pressure from her family for money and chose them over me. Her aunt who lives in Canada, on her first visit to us in Portland, had taken me aside and spent an hour trying to warn me. In the Philippines I had a tilapia pond, a piggery from which I sold gas made from pig poop, a Soul Food restaurant, and bought a house (I thought). I used to have an expat only Sunday open movie and grill. I saved 1 expat from being killed by the Tanod (local night watch) because he found that the girl he was engaged to, had her husband living in the apartment complex she had him build. 1 other expat was killed because he stopped loaning money to his wife’s family and another American was killed when he tried to help an out numbered security guard. The Filipino’s got 6 months jail time, the judge said he should have minded his own business. Jessica Soho, a local news person there, did some pieces on foreigners who where lured to the Philippines then raped and robbed, many of them retiree’s who did not have resources to leave who became beggers on the streets. The Philippine government stated, if they were stupid enough to get robbed, they deserve it. I still have friends “Trapped” there, but many found a way to leave. When I say trapped I mean, they invested their whole retirement there and have no financial way of getting out. After I was stripped and clipped, I went to Angeles city where I met my current wife, who kept me alive until I could come back here. Once here, I got her out and we’ve been happy ever since, 10 years as of 2013. We built a nice house for her parents there and talked about maybe going to live, but she over time found also that she could not live there anymore, because of the pressure. It was a good adventure and I have stories to tell, but No Way would I go there again. I have a daughter there from a relationship I had, that I am currently struggling to get out. Wish me luck…………. Tony Christian Ratcliffe · Former Technical trainer A few of my friends that still live or did live in the Philippines have told me the things that they find make living in the Philippines challenging. These are guys that vary from 30 somethings who came over for a holiday or to work and decided to stay and set up businesses to retirees who were travelling, sometimes with family and decided to stay. Some of the latter are now in their 80s: I lived there, based in Manila from 2015 until 2022 and met many people both ex pats and locals. I found the country both frustrating and charming. Here are my thoughts. You’re never fully accepted into the country. For example during covid a friend who’d lived in the Philippines for over 30 years was told to go home when he arrived home (Scotland) after a trip aboard. You’ll often be viewed as a cash cow and are expected to contribute to everything from local functions to staff and their extended families hospital bills and weddings (check the same person hasn’t died multiple times) but you’ll often get little or anything in return. The rule of law works against you but not for you. If you do wrong you’ll get big fines and need to employ local lawyers to act on your behalf but if you’re wrongly done by you’ll still need to pay to receive any help. Example, you pay taxes and give money to the community, Barangay, the local police, fire brigade etc but if you have a fire there’ll be demands for payment if you want the fire dealt with and if you’re home is robbed you’ll be expected to hand over some money if you want a real investigation. Bribes, fixer fees and kickbacks are so commonplace that they’re sometimes requested as if they’re nothing out of the ordinary at all. If you’re involved in an accident you’ll almost always be at fault, even if you weren’t. I had a motorbike rider ran straight into the wing of my car as I was driving into my workplace car park. He was riding along in the cycling lane and didn’t take notice of the security guard and stop like the rest of the traffic. I was worried about him then about myself as an angry mob who hadn’t even seen the accident gathered. One guy started yelling at me and was getting very aggressive. Thankfully our security guard and a workmate sorted the situation out. The security guard pointed out that the whole incident was on my dash cam and was being recorded on the worksite cameras and my workmate countered his aggressive behaviour with his own. The rider was escorted to the hospital three doors away but didn’t go in. Others tell of stories where one occupant in a car or tricycle has turned into five, all with injuries and where stopping to help when a car in front has veered off of the road has ended up with them being accused of causing the accident. Lesson learnt/learned, be aware that you’re not in your home country and some see you as an easy target. You’re responsible for the actions of people that you employ. One friend employed a young local guy that he felt sorry for because he’d been kicked out of his job and had no money or place to stay. Two years later the guy was drinking too much and causing problems. My friend had already dismissed him from employment because of this but was told by the local police that if he causes problems or damage my friend must pay for his actions. My friend contacted the guys family but they didn’t want anything to do with their son. This is still going on. You cannot own land, only the property on the land and sometimes the person that sold you the property didn’t have the right to sell you it in the first place. You can only own a 40% share in a business meaning that you can lose your business due to a 60/40 take over. It’s also hard to find work when there’s a Filipinos first employment rule in place. Then of course there’s the constant corruption, endless red tape, unexpected hurdles and the general lack of consistency and moving of goalposts. Plus things are always broken or not available. Healthcare can also be a reason to leave. Although there are some good hospitals and doctors they’re only in the biggest cities and all of them are private. I heard many stories of serious misdiagnosis, surgeons being knife happy and queues of doctors unnecessarily visiting patients rooms just to add their fees. Not something that you’d want as a someone getting on in years and living on a budget. And we haven’t even touched on the weather which varies from oppressively hot to torrential deluges. The terrible traffic (which seems to be improving). And threat of the “Big one” earthquake hitting anytime soon. Yes, life in the Philippines can be fun, but it is also a very frustrating place and a challenge. Anyone who is initially wowed by the hospitable people, hot weather, nice beaches and cheap living cost’s doesn’t have the full picture. Edit additional. If you read the replies below you will see how some have reacted to what I’ve written. Many along the lines of “If you don’t like it you can leave”, ”Toughen up”, “Why should we pander to your wishes” or “It’s like that everywhere in SE Asia”. THE QUESTION IS “”WHY ARE FOREIGNERS LEAVING THE PHILIPPINES”! It is not “What don’t you like about the Philippines” or “What do I think is wrong with the Philippines” or even “Why did you choose to leave the Philippines”. I’m simply answering the question the best I can with my own opinion and experiences and that told to me by the many foreigners that I got to know when I lived there, of which many I still keep in contact with. Some are still there, some have left and some have since passed away. I know Filipinos are emotional and don’t like criticism but this question is not going to generate a happy, smiley, singing and dancing showtime response. The fact is that many long term resident foreigners are deciding to leave. These foreigners obviously chose to move to the Philippines for positive reasons and they don’t generally leave because things are so great! I sometimes wonder if foreigners who’ve been involved in the other side of the law may in some ways fit in better because they’re more likely to understand how the underbelly of the place works. K Cee · Tue Sadly, you’re correct. Probably 100% correct. I was born here but left when I was 3 years old. I became an American citizen at 13 y/o and decided to move back to Philippines to pursue a Nursing education. I’m now 25 and am now a dual citizen( just recently graduated and am about to head back to USA soon). Living here for the past 5 years, I can certainly see EXACTLY what you mean. I love Philippines, but It’s a mess. I choose to love it for what it is, the good and the inherently bad. Sometimes (and I know I’ll get some heat for this), wish that the Philippines became a U.S. territory….maybe it could have been molded differently.

Loving Retirement · Sep 8 1. Philippines is a beautiful country, with beautiful and kind hearted people, with much variety in culture and facial features. I used to come here to relax from the Vietnam War, but now I've lived here since 2017 (6 years). I'd like to see the government put these big tummy guys to work cleaning up the seashore with all the filth and plastics, polluting the sea and environment. This would be endless employment that would have a multiplier effect on the Philippines economy. These guys are just sitting around all day making babies that they don't provide for. 2. Medical care and medicine is very inexpensive here, but just any of the professional sectors you avail, the skill levels are very much antiquated, and lacking. Example, be prepared to get stuck at least 10 times for blood draw. You don't need a script for most meds. You can self-diagnose. They have no medical database, so they have no idea if you're overdosing on anything. I don't care how much pain you're in, they don't have Hydrocodone or Oxycodone. Suck it up my friends. 3. Banking in the Philippines is atrocious, from long queues, to signing your signature 50 times and must be exact; plus you have limited access to your money. IMF is on the Philippines like a cheap, wet, polyester suit. 4. Men urinating on the wall like a dog. It doesn't matter if children, little school girls, or grandmas are passing by. Public restrooms are unavailable, so the men will whip it out and urinate anywhere. Policemen, traffic enforcers, Ceres bus drivers, jeepney drivers, tricycle drivers, taxi drivers, it doesn't matter. They all piss on the wall or tree. 5. Food sanitation, lack of handwashing, food storage, lots of bacteria (guard your tummy. Takes a while to build good gut biome here so you can eat without diarrhea hehe). 6. Forget about eating healthy here. Most foods are fried in fat, innards, skin, hard to get a salad or vegetables, vegetables are terribly expensive, carb overload always, and oily, oily, oily. 7. Driving is nightmarish. OMG. Forget about the rules of driving. Doesn't apply in Philippines. 8. Dusty, dirty, environment mostly, unless you visit the tourist beaches. Lots of burning of plastics etc. Dogs barking and roosters crowing 24/7. Roosters here overwork themselves. Karaoke loud is a norm. Expect it. Embrace it. 9. If it's not on the menu, don't ask for it. You're not gonna get it. 10. Customer service is extremely lacking. Once they bring your food, don't expect to see them again. They will be talking and playing with each other, picking gray hairs, and mites out of each other's hair, etc. You will jump up and down for for water, coffee, tea, or your bill. Be prepared to wait 20 minutes for your bill after asking for it. 11. Meetings and Technicians will not be on time, will not call you, and mostly will not do a good job. Keep your patience. It's common to be late, not show up, not call. Just roll with it. Even if you pay your bill online, they won't know it for 10 days, so they will cut off your service, even though you paid before the due date. 12. Keep your calm when they first meet you and without introducing themselves, or asking your name, they will start probing into your personal life. I usually ask them if they are NBI (NOT LIKE OUR FBI). Then they laugh. Or I will say, "Hi, my name is ............... What is your name?" 13. They borrow money like crazy. They are always loaded in debt. 14. If you get really sick here, fly home if you can. They won't even triage you without a big deposit. Plus you need to have someone with you to fetch your medicine. 15. Once you buy something, example a TV, if you change your mind they might take it back before you leave the store; but if you leave the store, even if the box is unopened, forget about it. You cannot get your money back. 16. Bring toilet paper with you wherever you go. Never assume the restroom will have toilet paper or something to dry your hands. Maybe no handsoap. Sometimes, there's a bar of soap. If you refuse to use it, they will look at you as if you're crazy. 17. I employ people. Don't expect people to come to work. They have a million excuses; and make sure you keep track of how many grandmas have died, and the dates. Girl will have dysmenorrhea and LBM every week because they think you did not write down their last period. 18. I love the Philippines, and its people. These are just a few of the things I would like to see fixed to make this country more enjoyable. Read the full article

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spursdontplaybasketball · 2 years ago

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Yesterday I had gotten home from work at 2 am because I was dealing with a complicated case and I had to document everything very carefully to make sure we had a record of the whole situation. Finished my notes at midnight when I’m supposed to be getting out of work at 11 pm. There weren’t really any more doable options to get home via public transit at that time, so the one supervisor approved a coworker who was on the overnight shift to step out and drive me home. It took until nearly 1:30 am before I got out because she had some other stuff to deal with. On the bright side, they didn’t make me clock out until I actually left the building, so I got one hour of overtime pay while finishing my notes and nearly another hour and a half just sitting in the back listening to music and reading.

Unexpectedly, the bartender who opens for matches had posted on Twitter and on his Facebook story that he was going to open the bar for the Spurs match at 7:30 am. I didn’t know how many people would come out, so I decided I would go to make sure he at least had someone, plus I’m missing more matches than usual this month due to a shitty schedule. My sleep is also mostly terrible, so I got about one hour before I had to leave around 6 am to head out. There ended up being about 5 of us that came out to watch, eventually at least. I was the first one there. Ended up being not so fun of a game seeing Spurs struggle to beat Portsmouth but was still nice to get a chance to go.

But then I had to go to work later in the day. I had to catch a bus around noon to get to work before my shift at 1 pm so no time to go home and sleep more. Just ended up downing hella caffeine, grabbing some kimbap for lunch, and making my way in. Was running on fumes most of the evening and ended up being busy. I often get overwhelmed on a *good* night, so I felt really close to just screaming, throwing down my clipboard, and storming out forever, and previously I might have ended up in the supervisors’ office close to tears ranting about how I don’t think I can do anything and saying awful things about myself to the point where they all but force me to go to the hospital because they’re concerned about me 😬

But I didn’t do either thing. I stopped, I thought, and I did what needed to be done. I realized that maybe I couldn’t do everything perfectly with how things were at the time, but they still needed done. I found the strength to get through and complete everything. Then I got to close out the night by being assigned a task that I feel like I’m good at and is one of the aspects of the job that always makes me feel a sense of mastery when I do. I checked in with the last consumer I’d still needed to talk to. He told me he was going to be leaving the next day to go to his housing program. He said he’d wanted to let me know because he was probably leaving in the morning and he knew I usually come in during the afternoon. He thanked me for helping him and expressed appreciation for everyone who’d worked with him. Was nice. (Then at the end of the night when my first bus was late leaving from work to downtown and the bus from downtown to home was about to pull away, the driver of the second bus saw that I had just gotten off the first bus and was trying to head over, so he stopped and let me on and didn’t just ditch me downtown to wait 30+ minutes for the next one for not having actually been at the stop when he went by.)

Been a lot, but I’m trying. And doing, I guess.

#progress #my life #work #mental health #all's well that ends well??

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radiant-reid · 3 years ago

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...The Problem In Houston...

← Two Hours in Miami

Summary: Spencer and Y/n's questionable, drunk, cliché decisions leads them to a sober decision which leads them to have to face some consequences.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (Angst then fluff)

Content Warning: child abduction case details | vomiting | pregnancy

Word Count: 4.9k

Masterlist

Neither Y/n nor Spencer hurried to get their marriage annulled. After their time in Miami, their dynamic had changed. Legally, they were married, but actually, they were sexually involved and trying not to be awkward about it. More than friends, definitely, but a whole lot less than married.

The team still had lots of cases to work and consult on. It was a good thing because it meant their attention was off trying to figure out where their relationship was going. But it also meant they were in close proximity, not helped by Garcia's hotel meddling.

It was tense for the rest of the team, as well. No one struggled to figure out the cause of the couple's tardiness. Bets had been placed, glances to one another had been made, but the jury was still out.

Weeks after the... incident, the team had been called in at 6 in the morning for a case.

"Thank you all for coming in so early," Hotch announced, making his way into the round table room at a quickened pace.

From next to her, Y/n could see the concerned look on Spencer's face. More troubled than he usually was when a case came, as he bit down on his bottom lip and his eyebrows drew together.

"What happened?" Spencer spluttered out quickly. He knew things weren't good if Garcia didn't know what was happening. Y/n moved her hand, resting it against his in the hopes it would calm him.

"Two child kidnappings in Houston," Hotch answered, handing Spencer a file while the rest of them got information popping up on their screens. It shouldn't have made Spencer feel reassured, but he was thankful no one was leaving or injured. "Allison Kilby, 7, and Mason Boyd, 8, were both taken from houses only 3 blocks apart."

They were all flicking through the information about the children, familiarizing themselves. "Where's the clock at?" Rossi asked him.

"At least 4 hours. Allison's mother noticed her missing at 2 am when she checked on her after their baby woke up. Mason's parents discovered he was missing at 5:30 this morning when his dad got up to go to work." Hotch continued with the case information.

Morgan looked up at him. "We're thinking stranger abduction?"

"The odds of it not being a stranger in such close proximity on the same night are staggeringly low," Spencer commented.

Hotch nodded. "The child abduction rapid deployment team is already on the ground. The jet's standing by, we've got a long flight, so we leave immediately." He informed them. The time sensitivity of the case didn't leave them with a lot of time to discuss theories when they could do it on the jet.

Just like that, they were back in the air once again. Garcia fed them information from Quantico while the team discussed theories. They requested the additional information they needed. Then they considered how to best use the media to their advantage before Hotch assigned their tasks.

"Here," Spencer said, placing a mug of coffee in front of Y/n as he took the seat next to her. He chose to ignore JJ's eyes, shifting up to look at them as she raised her eyebrows. Ever since they got married, the two of them had every look, every gesture, and every word they spoke scrutinized by the other profilers.

Y/n thanked him with a smile, taking a sip of her coffee. As soon as she tasted it, she had to sip it back out into the cup. "What did you put in that?" She asked, turning to look at Spencer as she grimaced.

Spencer knew how she liked her coffee. He memorized how everyone took their coffee, but especially Y/n. "I made it exactly how I always make it." He maintained before correcting himself. "How you always make it."

"No offense, Spence, but it tastes horrible," Y/n informed him, patting him lightly on the arm as she moved the cup away from herself. She could hear JJ's snigger from across the table.

There was a defined pout as Spencer looked at her. He knew there was no way he could have gotten it wrong. Picking it up to try it only confirmed his theory. It was precisely the way she'd always had it. Identical in taste to the cup she made 2 weeks prior, when she was trying to convince him it was better than his. "Y/n, it's the same." He assured her.

Y/n just shrugged. "Maybe I just don't like it anymore." She suggested. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. Can I get you something else?" Spencer offered. He figured she was just sick, probably a cold. She shook her head. "Are you sick?"

Once again, she shook her head. "I'm good, really." She assured him, knowing he tended to worry when anyone on the team was sick. Spencer just nodded, not ready to comment further with everyone's eyes on them.

Morgan, Spencer, and Y/n were sent to talk to one set of parents and analyze the abduction site. JJ and Hotch managed the media, and Rossi and Emily went to the other parents.

"Mr. and Mrs. Kilby, I'm SSA Derek Morgan." Morgan introduced himself, shaking the parents' tremblings hands. "This is Dr. Spencer Reid and SSA Y/n Reid." He said it as it was a natural thing. Not even a smirk on his face like he was trying to joke with them.

Y/n and Spencer weren't going to jump in to correct him in front of the distraught parents. It was something she'd never get used to seeing. From the blame that Mr. and Mrs. Kilby had placed on themselves to the uncontrollable spiral of thinking Allison, it always got to her. The worst thing was, there was nothing Y/n could immediately do to help ease the heartbreak.

"We just need to ask you a few questions about Allison," Spencer told them, taking a seat across from them. There was a tenderness in his voice that Y/n adored.

"I'm going to take a look around her bedroom if that's okay?" Morgan wondered, stepping closer to the door of the bedroom.

Both of the parents nodded, clutching onto a teddy bear that Y/n assumed belonged to Allison.

Spencer began his questioning while Y/n looked around the living room. She always found it uncomfortable to look around victims' homes while they were alive.

They had only been there for a few moments when the baby monitor started sounding. Wailing from the 10-week old brother of Allison. Mrs. Kilby launched for the monitor, wiping the tears out of her eyes with a sigh as she went to stand up.

"I can go and get him," Y/n comforted her, knowing how difficult it was for the parents.

Mrs. Kilby nodded at her thankfully. "He's, um, he's been sleeping in our closet." She managed to get out through sobs. Y/n shot Spencer a look. If the baby had been so close to the parents, what prompted Mrs. Kilby to check on Allison.

"It's the second door on the left." Mr. Kilby filled in, squeezing his wife's hand tighter.

Y/n nodded, leaving to find baby Jacob. "Hey, hey, hey, it's okay." She cooed, scooping him up. He was the sweetest little thing, thin, light brown hair, wide brown eyes, tiny little fingers and toes, dressed in a blue one-piece with dinosaurs on it. "Oh, aren't you cute?" She muttered, bouncing him up and down in her arms as she brought him out to the living room.

"I'll, uh, go and g-get his bottle." Mr. Kilby stated, standing up to move to the kitchen.

Y/n returned the now quietened baby to his mother. "He's adorable." She complimented as Mrs. Kilby hugged him tight to her.

"He looks just like A-Ally did." She mumbled, studying the baby, before looking back to the Reids. "Do you... do you two have kids?" She asked them.

It wasn't a stretch to understand why she might assume that. Y/n took the question, guessing Spencer would try to explain their situation. "No, we don't."

"If you do, you're going to be good parents." She replied with a sad smile, her eyes flicking between the two of them. "I can tell."

Spencer smiled back at her. "Thank you." That definitely was the more straightforward answer.

The case continued onward, everyone giving it their all to try and recover the children. Still, only 20 hours in, Y/n was more than ready to fall asleep. Usually, she could last at least 30 hours without sleep and an adequate amount of coffee. Mainly due to the severity of the case.

Spencer noticed her yawning. "Are you sure you're not unwell?" He asked, holding the back of his palm to her forehead.

"Reid." She wined, pulling back, but Spencer was persistent, holding his hand to his forehead. He was far more concerned at the fact she could be ill than he was with the odd looks he was getting from the team.

Spencer eyed her skeptically. "You're a little warm." He noticed.

"I feel fine. I'll sleep once this case is over." Y/n insisted, giving him a firm stare, so he knew to shut up.

Only 7 hours later, they were entering an abandoned commercial building, looking for the unsub and children.

FBI vest on and gun raised, Y/n pushed open a door only to reveal a little girl, tied up with duct tape over her mouth. She was seated on an old mattress in the small, dark room, absolute fear in her eyes. "I've got Allison!" She called out to the team before rushing over to the little girl. "Hey, Allison, my name's Y/n. I'm one of the good guys." She assured Allison, tears streamed out of her eyes as she struggled about. "Don't worry, you're safe now."

Carefully, she took the duct tape off. "Where's mommy and daddy?" The little girl cried out.

"Right outside, sweetheart. I promise." Y/n comforted her, working on untying the ropes on her hands. "They've missed you so much."

"Are they angry?" Allison asked her between sobs. "I didn't want to go with him...he had a gun, and... and he told me he'd kill them if I didn't."

Y/n couldn't shake her head quick enough, wanting to cry herself. It broke her heart that the little girl could blame herself. "They're not mad at all. You've been so brave." She assured the little girl, picking her up once the ropes were undone.

She carried Allison out to her waiting parents, handing her to them. Just the way they hugged, all crying but finally reunited, was enough to have light tears streaming down Y/n's cheeks.

Spencer noticed, having just walked out of the building with Hotch, who had the unsub in handcuffs. He jogged over, wrapping an arm around Y/n and pulling her into his chest.

"Hey, it's okay," Spencer assured her, whispering softly into her ear while Y/n cried harder onto his chest. He ran his hand over her hair, holding her tightly.

She pulled back after a while, wiping her eyes. "Sorry, it doesn't normally get to me."

Spencer shook his head. "You've got to be able to show emotion. You can't do this job if you don't." He reminded her softly. It wasn't a secret that her compartmentalizing skills were better than Spencer's. He could count the number of times he had seen her cry on a single hand.

"I know," Y/n said, grateful for his forever sweet nature. She knew no one on the team would have hesitated to wrap her in a hug, but Spencer always made her feel infinitely more comfortable.

Spencer held her close to his side as they walked to the SUVs, past the sounds of police cars, talking officers, and ambulances. "I'm really proud of you." He mentioned, sitting next to her in the back of the SUV.

Y/n looked up at him with a soft smile, resting her head on his shoulder while he ran his hands up and down her arm. "Thank you, Spencer, seriously." She mumbled to him, letting her eyes close as her fatigue took over.

She didn't wake up until they were back at the motel, and the car suddenly stopped. Spencer's attention was immediately back on her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep." She muttered, looking around at Morgan, who was driving, and JJ in the passenger seat.

"You looked pretty comfy there," JJ mentioned, looking back at the couple with a smirk.

Even half-awake, Y/n rolled her eyes, looking up at a slightly blushed Spencer. "What can I say? Spencer has comfortable shoulders." She joked.

"Uh, thanks," Spencer replied with a laugh, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. JJ and Morgan got out of the car, followed by Spencer and Y/n, all taking their go-bags from the trunk. The latter two hung back. "We're staying until 7," Spencer told her. Y/n glanced down to check her phone, almost 10. She really needed 8 hours of sleep before she had to wake up and pack her things.

Hotch was in the lobby, handing them both keycards and making sure Y/n was okay. They trailed up to the 4th floor, talking about anything that wasn't the case. Spencer could tell she was exhausted just by her quietened voice.

When they got to the 4th floor, Y/n stopped at room 11, holding her keycard to the scanner and unlocking the door. To her surprise, Spencer remained standing in the hall.

She spun back around to from at him. "Room 12," Spencer explained, holding up his own keycard. Y/n would be lying if she said she wasn't disappointed. Apparently, she was too tired to not let it show on her face. It only took Spencer a split second to decide what to do, following her inside and closing the door.

Y/n smiled appreciatively at him, wordlessly thanking him before stepping away to get changed into something more comfortable to sleep in. Spencer undressed, crawling under the cover with as minimal effort as possible. Y/n did the same thing, laying next to him before looking up at him. Even in the darkness, he could see the tears.

It only took Spencer a moment to understand what she needed. He wasn't always good at reading body language, but there was something simpler about reading Y/n's, especially when she had her guard completely down.

"Come here." Spencer softly whispered, pulling her body into his chest. Y/n felt instantly more comfortable just by smelling his cologne, her tears slowing. He placed a kiss on her forehead, one hand holding her lower back and the other resting against the back of her head. Like that, it didn't take them long to fall asleep.

It wasn't the alarm that awoke Spencer. It was the sound of someone being sick. Blinking his eyes open, memories filtering into his brain, he remembered he'd slept in Y/n's hotel room.

In the next second, he noticed Y/n wasn't in bed and got out of the covers, walking into the bathroom. She didn't even look up at him when he walked in, and she didn't have a chance to once he was scooping up her hair while she threw up again.

When she'd finished, Y/n turned around to look at him, embarrassment written all over her face. "Please don't look at me like this, Spencer." She requested, shaking her head as she got up off her knees. Spencer frowned at her, pouring her a glass of water which she gratefully gargled, getting the taste out of her mouth. "Seriously, I look terrible."

"You look beautiful," Spencer assured her, handing her toothbrush and toothpaste to her. Y/n wished she didn't have to blush at that, but she did as she brushed her teeth. He watched her intently, trying to form an accurate diagnosis of her symptoms.

Still, it was Y/n who spoke first. "I think I have the stomach flu or something." She concluded.

"You've had stomach aches?" Spencer asked her, again looking more concerned than he should be. This time accompanied by a paler face and thumping heart. His mind was thinking it all over too fast, and it dinged on only one possible explanation for all of the facts.

Y/n frowned at his frown. It was an amplification of the look he had in the field just before he realized something was about to go horribly wrong. She was careful in phrasing her answer. "No, I've just been vomiting."

"More than once?" Spencer spat out, eyes searching hers for an answer. Slowly, she nodded. "Don't hate me for saying this." He prefaced, and Y/n knew it was going to be serious.

"Spencer, what is it?" Y/n asked carefully, the building tension in the air making her uncomfortable.

Spencer tried to take a breath in, but it halted in his throat. With shaky hands, he spat out his answer. "I think you might be pregnant."

It was instant, the way the color flooded from her face. He saw her struggle to hold the countertop. Spencer only had a second to reach forward to grab her, knowing she was about to hit the floor if he didn't.

The sight around her quickly faded away, turning into black spots as her hearing when out. The last thing she felt was Spencer's arms around her. All too quickly, it was all gone.

When she came to a few seconds later, she was lying on the bed, and Spencer's words immediately registered again. "You think I'm what!?" She asked, quickly sitting up and looking around the room.

From where he sat next to her, Spencer reached out to lightly push her head back onto the pillow. "It's the only thing that makes sense."

It did, but Y/n wasn't ready to accept it. "No. No, no, no, it doesn't."

He leaned over to look at her, and Y/n couldn't believe how attractive he was from below her. It reminded her of the last time she'd seen him like that, on top of her.

Y/n scrambled to sit up properly, resting against the headboard while Spencer moved to sit in front of her. He picked her hands up, holding them in front of her while she brought her knees to her chest. Slowly, she realized what was happening, and it made her head spin. She wasn't sure if she needed to throw up again because she was actually sick or the thought made her sick.

"Y/n, just breath," Spencer instructed her, audibly taking deep breaths in and out so she would do the same thing.

When she'd finally regulated her breathing, she met his eyes properly. "I'm freaking out." She admitted the obvious.

He squeezed her hands, trying to ground her. "I know, I know, I'm sorry." Y/n chuckled softly at that, and Spencer reached out to place a hand on her cheek. She nuzzled into his palm, eyes filling with tears. "Are you going to be okay if I leave you here for a few minutes?"

Y/n quickly frowned. "Where are you going?"

"There's a 24-hour convenience store just down the road. I'm going to get a pregnancy test so we can know for sure." Spencer informed her, not taking his hands off her until she was okay with him going.

Y/n nodded, wiping a tear off her cheek. It was a good thing that one of them could be so calm. Even if Spencer was completely freaking out on the inside.

Reluctantly, he took his hand off her cheek. He moved across the room to put more clothing on and grab his things. The clock revealed he still had an hour until they had to go.

"Spence?" She asked just before he walked out the door. He turned back to look at her, concern flooding his face every time. "Can you get me Hershey's chocolate?"

Instead of commenting on the fact it was something she couldn't stand eating, he added it to the list of her symptoms. "Of course. Drink some water. Not too much, though, because it could lower the amount of human chorionic gonadotropin in your-"

"Yeah, got it, Spencer." Y/n cut him off. It was already awkward enough without having to talk about her urine.

In the 15 minutes that he was gone, Y/n did nothing but pace. She walked up and down the hotel room until she was sure her footsteps were imprinted on the carpet.

Finally, when he entered the room- having been smart enough to take her keycard- Y/n stilled. Unable to breathe as her heart started to pound. The realization that she was about to find out. To discover the truth.

"Don't faint again," Spencer said, walking over to place a hand on her waist.

Y/n held a hand over her mouth, trying to breathe in and out as she nodded. "Okay, okay, it's fine. I just have to get this over with." She decided, reaching into the bag Spencer was holding to pull out the box.

He knew it was just a facade, stopping her before she walked into the bathroom to wrap her in a hug. "It'll be okay." He assured her, letting her walk off to the bathroom.

It was as if she dissociated while she was in there, separating her brain from her actions like she was on autopilot.

She only had to wait a minimum of 60 seconds. Damn Spencer Reid for getting the fastest acting ones he could find. But she didn't want to do it alone. It was shaking in her hands as she walked out of the bathroom. Spencer took it out of her hands before she dropped it on the floor.

With each second that past her body seemed to find a new reaction. 15 seconds and she couldn't stand, her legs giving out as she rested against the foot of the bed.

Spencer was right there with her, threading his fingers through hers. He was talking, but she wasn't really hearing it. The vibrations were there, but she struggled to comprehend the words.

"Why was that the conclusion you came to?" Y/n asked, wanting to hear something. She only put it together after he said because of her tender breasts and then missing period, but those both weren't things he knew.

Spencer gazed at her for a second, reading whether or not she really wanted to know. "Your coffee, firstly. Hormonal changes alter our tastebuds, which also explains the chocolate." The chocolate she was far too nauseous to eat. "Fatigue was next. You were out like a light when you usually can't sleep for at least an hour after a case wraps. In early pregnancy, the progesterone hormone levels soar, which makes you tired."

"You should get an MD," Y/n mentioned with a chuckle. When she thought about Spencer, it was easier to not think about the test results.

Spencer smiled lightly at her. "You know, you always diffuse the tension in a room." He mentioned.

"Is that your way of saying I joke when I'm uncomfortable?" Y/n shot back with a smirk.

Spencer chuckled at that as well. "You want to know something?" He asked.

"Yeah?" Y/n replied, decreasingly interested in the test.

"Times up." There was that daunting feeling again. Complete dread washed over her face. Spencer pulled out the test, reading it and not telling Y/n.

She couldn't even read it on his face, despite how hard she tried. "You are an incredible poker player." She stated, voice higher from the lack of oxygen she was getting.

Everything moved incredibly slowly as Spencer said the single word that could change anything. "Positive." Her hand was to her mouth before she could stop it, unsure of whether to smile or scream. Spencer confirmed it by showing her the test, and her eyes watered as she read it.

Spencer took her hand away, unable to read her eyes properly. It might have been because of his own spinning heads or her tears, or his tears. For once in his life, he was unsure of what to do.

Was Y/n really sure it wasn't going to be positive? "What are we going to do?"

"Yes," Spencer answered before actually realizing what she'd asked. She laughed at his hurriedness. "Sorry, uh, well, I don't know."

The room became clear again, the background filling in around Spencer as Y/n started to feel better. Still, there wasn't a clear answer. "It's been like 5 weeks, right?"

"4 weeks and 5 days." Spencer corrected her softly.

Y/n bit her lip, her brain still looking for an answer she didn't believe it had. "We have to tell Hotch, right?" She realized, reaching out to grab Spencer's arm, looking at the time on his watch.

Spencer's eyes widened as he shook his head, slowly stopping when he realized the implications of her words. Carefully and forcibly, he kept his tone level. "You want to keep it?"

Y/n ducked her head, not wanting to meet her eyes when she admitted it. "I think so?" She squeaked out.

Deep down, Spencer realized that was what he wanted. And it scared him like nothing else ever had. He reached under her chin, pushing her head up to meet his eyes.

"Hey, that's okay." He assured her, nothing but sincerity in his tone. She could feel the smile he was trying to hide. It was the most reassuring thing she'd ever felt.

As soon as he said that, her eyes flicked up to meet his. "What?"

"Y/n, it's my fault we're in this position-"

Y/n shook her head, cutting him off. "Kind of mine, too."

Spencer chuckled at that, impressed she could joke as tears streamed down both of their cheeks. "What I'm trying to say is that I'm here for you. Every step of the way, regardless of what you want to do."

"Promise?" Y/n wondered, unthreading their hands to hold up her pinky finger.

The smile that washed over Spencer's face was a dead giveaway. She only saw it as a giveaway for his support, not for the adoration he had for her.

Locking his pinky with hers, he spoke. "I promise." Silently, they shook them just like a handshake but of a far deeper connection. "You don't have to figure it all out right now because, trust me, I know, there are a lot of decisions. But whatever you end up deciding, I'm here for you."

It was true that she didn't have it all figured out. Almost none of it was figured out. But as they stood up, and Spencer wrapped his arms around her, treating her both like she was the strongest person and made of glass, she knew it would all be fixed.

Something was different on the jet, and everyone could tell. Y/n and Spencer were both infinatly more comfortable with each other. Not caring around the suspicious eyes of Prentiss, Morgan, or JJ.

The team knew something must have happened. Something as serious as getting married, but less severe than having sex, when Spencer and Y/n walked into Hotch's office.

Y/n sat across from stoic but concerned Hotch as Spencer closed the blinds. "What happened?" Hotch asked, eyeing the newlywed agents knowingly.

Spencer sat down when Y/n opened her mouth, but not a single word could come out. She was so worried about what he would say or if she could lose her job, or if Spencer could lose his, that she stayed silent.

Ready to prove his devotion, Spencer spoke. "Y/n's pregnant." Matter-of-fact but it still changed the entire atmosphere of the room, the air tightening making it difficult to breathe.

Then came the deadly silence. "You're what?" Hotch spat out, almost not believing what he was saying. His eyes were darting between them desperately. Something assured him it wasn't a prank.

"Please don't fire us," Y/n begged, the tears welling in her eyes while she waited for Hotch's reply. If he was trying to drag it out, it was causing enough tension.

"I can't," Hotch informed them, and it caused both of them to be able to breathe easier. "And I wouldn't." He continued. "I... I'm very happy for you both if that's what you want." There was a smile on his face. An actual smile. Spencer reached over to hold her hand, reminding her it was all real, that she didn't need to pinch herself. "But there's going to be some paperwork." He concluded.

It didn't sound like much of a punishment to Spencer. "I'll do it all, anything you need."

Hotch gave him the smallest chuckle. "I appreciate that, Reid. But, just so you know, I have to report this to my superiors." Both of their faces filled with dread. If Hotch couldn't fire them, his superiors definitely could. "No different to how I reported JJ's pregnancy. The only problem about you both working at the BAU is the legal rights you're going to have to wave." Y/n could sense him acting almost fatherly, calming both of them. Spencer was nodding along with him, clearly having read the entire FBI contract fine print. "Now, Y/n, can I give you a hug? Because you look terrified."

Y/n couldn't have nodded fast enough. Although he hadn't said it, she felt like Hotch was on their side. And that everything would be okay.

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theres-a-goldensky · 3 years ago

Text

30 More The Untamed Fic Recs

Here we go again. Another Wangxian rec list. Are you bored of me yet?

Were these recs helpful to you? If so, you can check out my other Wangxian rec posts:

Part 1 - 40 recs

Part 2 - 23 recs

Part 3 - 23 recs

As ever, feel free to reblog.

You can also head over to my bookmarks on AO3.

(All recs are complete) (I’ve noted pairings, length, and rating, but not any warnings or additional tags.)

** denotes personal favorite

1. say it's here where our pieces fall in place by Lirelyn - ~69,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Lan Zhan meets Wei Wuxian after he adopts a small A-Yuan, because Wei Wuxian also has a past with him. Lots of adorable family feelings and emotional hurt/comfort.

As often happened, Wei Ying’s voice preceded his entrance, calling to his co-worker through the open door, “Frankie, they forgot to order spoons again, can you hold down the fort a little longer while I —”

Lan Wangji was already looking to his entrance, head turning as if magnetized toward the voice, so he saw the moment when Wei Ying’s eyes landed on A-Yuan and the smile fell from his face. He looked stricken, and Lan Wangji immediately looked to his son in alarm. A-Yuan seemed fine. His small eyebrows were pulled together in a small frown as he looked back at Wei Ying, but that wasn’t surprising, given the expression on Wei Ying’s face. Lan Wangji had seen that face beaming, laughing, whining, wheedling, and occasionally angry, but never like this. He looked blank and hollow and it stirred something fierce in Lan Wangji: he wanted to rise up and obliterate whatever was making him look like that. Then his eyes lifted to Lan Wangji and there was a flash of something almost like betrayal, before he pressed his lips together and turned his back.

“I’m going to run out to the store and get spoons,” he said in a flat voice to his co-worker, and left without looking their way again.

2. the breaking of your soul (upon my lips) by sunsandships - ~41,000 words, mature - This is an AU of the novel where Wei Wuxian puts two and two together when Lan Zhan sneaks that kiss from him. It changes a lot of things.

Against his own will, Wei Wuxian found himself glancing at Lan Wangji’s hands. They were… certainly large enough that one of them could wrap around both of his wrists. And Lan Wangji was certainly strong enough, tall enough, broad-shouldered enough to bodily pin him against the trunk of a tree with no chance of him breaking free. Lan Wangji was the first person he’d come across in his slow comb through the vicinity of where he’d been so headily kissed.

Wei Wuxian drew a sharp breath. There was a connection to be made here. He didn’t think he was crazy enough to make it. Perhaps he truly was going slightly insane with demonic cultivation if he could believe Lan Wangji, the paragon of virtue and respectability, who lived unflinchingly under Gusu Lan’s three thousand edicts, who had at best only tolerated his presence as children, would sneak up to him while he was blindfolded, pin him against a tree, and steal a kiss from him in broad daylight.

3. and his wanting grows teeth by yukla - ~25,000 words, teen - This is a very interesting AU where Lan Zhan is a traveling cultivator and runs into Wei Wuxian and the Jiangs looking for shelter during a snowstorm. No spoilers, but this fic goes to a pretty dark place that genuinely shocked me, but I enjoyed. (Still ends well though.)

Without further ado, they are hustled past the entrance and into a smaller greeting area. Huang-bobo approaches the brazier in the center with his hands outstretched, warming his fingers in the heat, but Lan Wangji hangs back. As he carefully brushes the snow free from his shoulders, he feels the burn of a curious gaze trailing up and down his body, lingering at the guqin still strapped to his back; when the sensation pauses at his face and stays there, he lifts his head.

The boy with the ribbon lights up at the eye contact, flashes another dazzling smile, and gives a little wave.

“You must be new here,” he whispers, something like laughter threaded into his voice, eyes scrunching into winking half-moons. “All dressed up in white like that! You might lose yourself in the snowstorm!”

Something stirs to life in Lan Wangji’s chest. It’s—uncomfortable, he decides, and so he steps away. Teasing should not be encouraged with a response.

4. Ghosts Shouldn't by ShanaStoryteller - ~15,000 words, not rated - After Wei Ying's death, his spirit seems to linger. The story is told from Lan Xichen's point of view. I love an outsider point of view. I also love the way the author fleshes out his character as well.

Lan Xichen means to force his way inside, angry ghost of the Yiling Patriarch or no, but then his brother lets out slow breath, settling, the pain easing from his face as he falls back into a more peaceful sleep.

His hair is moving on its own, so subtly Lan Xichen might not have noticed it if he hadn’t been looking at Wangji so intently. It’s like someone’s running their hand through his hair.

The window frosts over suddenly, thick enough that he can’t see through it. Anxiety spikes through him so quickly he’s nauseous with it, but then the frost melts away and the opening notes of Healing start up again.

He can’t tell if it’s a warning or not. Maybe it’s just an acknowledgement. Wei Wuxian knows he’s there.

5. **leading tone by silencemostofall - ~32,000 words, general - This is a modern AU set in a world where people who love you leave a mark of color on you the first time you touch. Wei Wuxian has no color on him. So much emotional hurt/comfort. So much of Wei Wuxian's terrible self-esteem.

He can cover up his palms with his gloves, so that the blankness does not draw stares. But he has no marks on his fingertips, which he cannot easily hide, and none visible on his face or neck, the blankness of which is even more difficult to hide. People look at him and, with a single glance, understand the single most devastating truth that he knows about himself.

They assume that he does not have very many marks. He may be an eccentric, dramatic person, but the likelihood that an individual has all of their marks on, say, their feet or their torso or other places that are not immediately obvious-- that probability goes down as your number of marks increases. He can laugh as much as he wants about how he loves touching people for the first time with odd places, like the knee or the elbow, but it doesn't quite mask the feeling of other that he knows he exudes.

They assume that he does not have a lot of marks. This, while a heavy weight, is not unbearably so. It is okay that they think he is not much loved. It chafes a bit, and feels occasionally like something he has to furiously push down within himself, but it is not unbearable. What would be unbearable is if they knew the truth: that he does not just have very few marks, but none. That he is simply an individual who is not loved at all.

6. **pastel by antebunny - ~7,000 words, gen - This is a remix work of the above fic. It's from Lan Zhan's point of view and just different enough to be interesting. Still lots of emotional hurt/comfort. I love this concept a whole lot, and both of these fics are great.

It’s a simmering day in May, and Wei Ying is wearing long sleeves, long pants, and gloves.

His choice of dress isn’t unusual for many reasons. For one, there’s plenty of people who don’t like strangers seeing their soulmarks. There’s plenty of people who wish to keep them private by covering them up. For another, Wei Ying spends most of his day in various chilly computer science department rooms, He could just be wearing long sleeves for that.

7. one good thing by Yuu_chi - ~27,000 words, teen - Wei Wuxian has died (or did he??) and is haunting his old home. Lan Zhan moves in. This story has a happy ending! And so much yearning!

To the flowers struggling to grow on the other side of the glass, he says, “We’re getting a new roommate. Well, I’m getting a new roommate - you’re getting somebody who might actually be able to water you for a change.” The flowers outside sway a little in the breeze, and Wei Wuxian nods contemplatively. “He can’t be any worse than the last guy who lived here. Remember when I spooked him while he was cooking and he nearly burnt the house down? Of course you don’t. You’re fucking foliage, your memory is worse than mine. I remember though, so it’s cool.”

There’s the sound of shuffling behind him and Wei Wuxian looks up to see the stranger has entered the kitchen, setting the last of the boxes down on the table. Disgustingly neat handwriting declares the box kitchen - homeware. The stranger carefully brushes his hair back from his face and, without so much as a second of hesitation, cracks open the box and begins unpacking.

“Wow, you really don’t waste any time, do you?” Wei Wuxian marvels. “You literally just got here - who cares about unpacking? Sit down for a moment, breathe, have something to eat. It’s not going anywhere.”

8. with you, I am home by tellthemstories - ~47,000 words, mature - Modern AU where Wei Wuxian is being forced to return home to entertain marriage proposals. So naturally instead he "convinces" Lan Zhan to pretend to date him. I love a good fake dating fic, and this one hits all the right beats.

Lan Zhan does that almost-smile thing that Wei Wuxian takes to mean he’s happy, or at the very least not-mad. “You don’t have any money.”

“Not true. I have the money from our last job, when we settled the vengeful spirit for the flower shop girl.” (He doesn’t. They have Lan Zhan’s money. Wei Wuxian spent his on a pack of loquats and three bottles of Emperor’s Smile wine.)

“Fine,” Wei Wuxian says. “Do it for me.”

Thinking back on it two weeks later, standing alone in the middle of Jin Ling’s graduation banquet and watching Lan Zhan walk away from him, Wei Wuxian realises that this, this was the moment when he should have known. He should have realised in the way Lan Zhan doesn’t hesitate or negotiate and just says with that half-fond, half-exasperated tone he gets sometimes, “Fine.”

9. and in the spring i shed my skin by wvlfqveen - ~11,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Wei Ying can't find Lan Zhan, but hey, there happens to be a rabbit here instead. Features a very slow Wei Ying, emotional hurt/comfort and accidental love confessions.

Immediately, his heart settles and he grins down at his new friend. “Oh, hello there,” he coos, reaching out to pet the fluffy ears. The bunny is very, very still under his hand.

“Did Lan Zhan bring you today?,” he continues cooing. “I’m sorry I missed that, but your Dad didn’t tell me he was bringing you.”

Lan Zhan rarely brings his rabbits to work since they are as tolerant of crowds and unnecessary noise as he is. They were probably relevant to today’s lesson but…

Wei Ying frowns. “Why would he leave you alone? And where is your cage?”

10. how, or when, or from where by sarahyyy - ~10,000 words, gen - Wei Ying wakes up in the hospital with amnesia and can't remember the last few years of his life, including his best friend and the guy he's in love with.

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes so hard Wei Wuxian is surprised his eyeballs don’t just fall out of his eye sockets. “That’s the worst part. He did. Whatever mating ritual you both have going on is so fucking weird, Wei Wuxian.” He snorts. “If you’d stayed asleep for any longer, I’d have lost my shit and thrown my myself out a window just so I wouldn’t have to talk to Lan Wangji again.”

Wei Wuxian blinks at him. “Is this a good time to ask who Lan Wangji is?”

Jiang Cheng glares at him. “Your Lan Zhan,” he says, annoyed. Wei Wuxian must look as confused as he feels, because Jiang Cheng’s annoyance bleeds out into concern. “Your Lan er-gege? Your soulmate, Lan Wangji?”

Wei Wuxian shakes his head. “No bells are ringing.”

11. ** a shared plate by yukla - ~26,000 words, teen - This is an absolutely gorgeous fic about Wei Wuxian traveling the world post-canon to rediscover himself and restore his faith in humanity and eventually find his way back to Lan Zhan. The whole thing is great, but the last two chapters are just *chef's kiss*

Lan Zhan,

Just as the mountains stand unchanging and the green rivers flow ceaselessly, we will meet again — and between then and now, you cannot hope to avoid my letters, either! Haha! Lan Zhan, I’ve seen so many things and met so many people, and it’s only been a month!

I miss you already

It’s so hot that I find myself missing the wind in Gusu’s mountains. Your poor Wei Ying is I’m melting away, Lan Zhan...

I’m realizing now, sixteen years is a long time to be away — the world is vast, and quite a bit different than I remembered. And in sixteen years, a child can also grow up into a man! It’s your job to catch me up on A-Yuan’s fun childhood stories! I do remember hearing something about a pile of rabbits...

12. with your arms outstretched to me by annemari - ~14,000 words, teen - Lan Zhan finally gets up the nerve to ask Wei Ying on a date, but things don't go as expected. Features emotional hurt/comfort (are we sensing a theme with these recs??) and just regular hurt/comfort.

"Oh, man, I was hoping you had some water with you," Wei Ying says. "I totally forgot to bring any for myself. Stupid of me."

"There is enough for both of us," Lan Wangji says. He has another bigger bottle in the car, as well.

Wei Ying hums but he only takes a few sips. He presses it back into Lan Wangji's hand. "I don't need any more."

Lan Wangji is considering arguing, but then Wei Ying shifts a bit, moving his ankle, and gasps very, very quietly.

13. ** A Lot of Edges Called Perhaps by hansbekhart - ~22,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian has finished traveling and returned to the Cloud Recesses and Lan Zhan. But their lives never do run smoothly.

“Lan Jingyi,” Wei Wuxian says, recognizing him after a moment. His heart slams against his rib cage. “Where is Lan Zhan? What’s happened?”

Lan Jingyi flaps a hand at him, gulping air. Wei Wuxian hands him the water, and leans back against Little Apple’s side as he waits impatiently for the boy to get his breath back.

“I’m so glad I found you,” Jingyi gasps, just as Wei Wuxian is about to throttle a proper answer out of him. “Hanguang Jun was in such a state when he woke up, we didn’t know if you’d come and gone already.”

“Where is he, Jingyi,” Wei Wuxian says, as evenly as he can. “What happened?”

14. So Why Not Crack Your Skull When the Mind Swells by greenteafiend - ~14,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel extraordinary pain unless he's touching Lan Zhan. Yet more of Wei Wuxian's self-esteem issues and Lan Zhan's steadfast devotion.

“Are you hurt, Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji asks, pressing his hand to Wei Ying’s forehead to feel his temperature. There is no fever, but that doesn’t do much to mitigate Lan Wangji’s worries.

“No—I’m not hurt,” says Wei Ying, sagging forward to lean his weight into Lan Wangji’s hand like he can’t help himself.

It’s so strange—Lan Wangji can feel what Wei Ying is feeling. Although the relief is still very profound, wisps of other things are making themselves known; happiness; wistfulness; guilt. It’s all so fleeting that Lan Wangji can’t even begin to deduce what has provoked those feelings, but he wishes he knew their source.

15. puzzle pieces by Anonymous - ~6,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are roommates, and Wei Ying has started borrowing Lan Zhan's clothes.

“Hm? Oh.” With sleepy eyes that does— things to Lan Zhan’s heart, he blinks and tugs at the lower hem of the shirt, which is riding just above the curve of his thighs. Does Lan Zhan’s mouth water? Maybe. Yes. Absolutely. “Ah, yeah, sorry. Laundry day caught up to me before I could catch up with it. I saw this shirt left in the washer a few days ago, and—“ He blinks up at Lan Zhan through dark eyelashes that Lan Zhan wants to kiss, maybe, and gives him an uncharacteristically hesitant smile. “Do you mind?”

I mind the fact that we are not married, Lan Zhan thinks. But he can’t say that, and his tongue doesn’t know how to say anything else. So he stays silent.

“Oh,” Wei Ying says after a moment. “If you—oh, damn, I should’ve known, this is like real silk, must’ve been super expensive. Fuck. Okay, here, uh, I’ll take it off—“

16. ** Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl - ~60,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Wei Ying is trying to be a good brother and get Jiang Cheng laid. Somehow this plan involves pretending to date Lan Zhan.

"I won't!" Wei Ying insists. "I'll ask out someone...high stakes. I'll find someone. I'll...okay, how's this? I swear that I'll ask someone out and keep at it for at least two dates."

"No."

"Three dates."

"Nope."

"Okay, okay, five. That's fair! That's more than fair! One person, five dates." He points at Jiang Cheng. "You have to do it, too. That's how a pact works."

Jiang Cheng stares at him. "Five dates," he says flatly. "Five. And yours can't be Nie Huaisang."

17. i'm the one for your fire by occultings (microcomets) - ~43,000 words, explicit - This is a Modern AU and a Cherry Magic AU! (Side note: GO WATCH CHERRY MAGIC IF YOU HAVEN'T.) But in short, Wei Ying turns 30 without losing his virginity and gets the power to hear people's thoughts when he touches them. He gets more than he bargained for with Lan Zhan. The author does a good job of translating the story to these characters. Wei Ying is not forced to be like Adachi, the main character of Cherry Magic. He's still himself, and the same goes for Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan’s voice is so clear, so sudden that it’s as though it’s spoken, the slice of a sharp object through velvet.

He’s touching me.

Wei Ying startles for a moment, wonders if he’d somehow heard his own thoughts instead, but — no, that had definitely been Lan Zhan’s steady, factual baritone, loud and clear.

God, this is still so weird. It still doesn’t seem totally real. But how else can he account for hearing Lan Zhan’s voice in his head, as clearly as if he’d spoken to Wei Ying directly?

18. like blue flame over my fingertips by tangerinechar - ~37,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are roommates, and Lan Zhan just finds himself wanting to take care of Wei Ying.

Lan Wangji’s roommate. Is a problem.

He doesn’t get an answer to the roommate problem until the next morning, when Lan Xichen texts him telling him that the apartment he’d suggested (and helped pay rent for) to Lan Wangji said in the small text that it’d be two people per apartment, the second bedroom wasn’t actually a guest bedroom, sorry, Wangji, you can move in with me if you want, I have space —

No. Thank you for your kind offer, Brother, but I will be quite fine, Lan Wangji texts back.

19. ** some impulse of delight by handclaps - ~20,000 words, explicit - College AU where Wei Ying decides he needs to help Lan Zhan get used to touching people. Lan Zhan agrees. Wei Ying is dumb and in love. Lan Zhan is less dumb, but still as in love.

Lan Zhan shakes his head and fumbles, tries to push the cotton wool into Wei Wuxian’s hand.

“Sorry,” Wei Wuxian says, realising. “Touching people, I know.”

He feels dumb. He thought he’d worn Lan Zhan down more than this, that they were friends now and that his whole no touching thing was mostly overcome. He took Wei Wuxian’s hand easily, right? He looks down at his belly full of scratches, dabbing at them moodily.

“Sorry,” he says, again.

Lan Zhan makes some kind of noise, but he is busy packing the first aid kit back, placing everything exactly where it was before.

“Lan Zhan, you’re going to have to do something about this,” Wei Wuxian complains. “I know you don’t like touching people and usually it plays as a kind of gentlemanly thing, but what about emergencies?”

20. And I Will Call You Home by Spodumene - ~43,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian returns after a year of traveling and rejoins Lan Zhan in the Cloud Recesses. He's doing a good job of pining and ignoring the obvious. Look, at this point, it shouldn't be a surprise that I'm a sucker for stories where Wei Wuxian deals with his ~*~issues~*~ and Lan Zhan takes care of him, whether he asks for it or not. This story has lots of that. I also enjoyed the case fic aspect of it.

“I do, I think,” Wei Wuxian admits. “Would be nice to see his face again after so long. And at least this time, I’m going to show up draped in finery. What do you think, Lan Zhan? I can’t possibly disgrace him—or you—wearing a cloak like that.”

“You could never disgrace me,” Lan Wangji says gently, that soft, affectionate look back on his face.

Wei Wuxian grins, warmed to the tips of his toes.

“I’ll remind you of that later. The next time I’m three jars deep and feeling especially shameless, you’ll have to remember those words, Lan Er-gege.”

“Of course,” Lan Wangji says simply.

Wei Wuxian smiles some more, overwhelmed by fondness.

21. darling, am i a chore? by martyrsdaughter - ~7,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian really, really wants Lan Zhan to call him 'gege'. Lan Zhan knows a trump card when he sees one.

“You know what I want,” Wei Wuxian purrs, reaching up on his tiptoes to throw his arms over Lan Wangji’s shoulders. “Call me gege, won’t you? Call me and I’ll stop.”

Lan Wangji knows he will not stop, regardless of what he calls him. Still, he thinks about it. If there really is a way to make Wei Wuxian stop, should he not consider it? He doesn’t have any real interest in curbing his husband’s insatiable mischievousness, but he does like knowing things about him—everything there is to know.

If there’s something that persuasive in the world, that it can bring Wei Wuxian into submission when no one is under threat, could he stop himself from seeking it?

22. your name, safe in their mouth by astrolesbian - ~11,000 words, gen - Wei Wuxian & Lan Sizhui fic with the Wangxian in the background. Lan Sizhui wants another dad and Wei Wuxian wants a son, they just don't know how to explain that to each other.

“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”

Lan Sizhui tucks his chin into his uncle’s shoulder, and lets his eyes fall closed.

“It doesn’t hurt too much, does it?” Wen Ning whispers to him kindly.

Lan Sizhui takes a deep breath, and takes stock of all his aches, his ringing ear, his hollow chest, the way he had selfishly wanted Wei Wuxian to keep speaking to him in that careful voice, like he was just a child to be soothed and there was no real danger. How dangerous, to pretend. “No,” he lies. “It doesn’t hurt that much at all.”

23. when you're doing all the leaving (then it's never your love lost) by tardigradeschool - ~26,000 words, teen - AU where Lan Zhan with Wei Wuxian to Jin Ling's one-month celebration. Things go down, and it leads to Lan Zhan discovering Wei Wuxian's missing golden core. This obviously will not do, and oh look, the best doctor in the world just happens to be right here.

“How—“ Lan Wangji chokes. “His core —?” He looks at Wen Ning, half accusatory in his shock. “Jin Zixun could not have—“

“No, no!” Wen Ning says, holding out his hands. “He hasn’t had one for years, don’t worry!”

This is not as reassuring as Wen Ning seems to think.

“Please explain,” Lan Wangji says, pained. He feels for Wei Wuxian’s pulse instead; in the absence of a golden core, it will have to do as reassurance that he’s still alive.

Wen Ning is so anxious that the story comes out in a ramble, out of order. Lan Wangji wants him to hurry up, but he’s also not confident in his own ability to speak, so he just keeps quiet and lets him talk. His heart feels as if it’s about to fall from his chest, beating nearly twice as fast as Wei Wuxian’s does under his fingers.

24. A Match in the Making by lareine - ~30,000 words, teen - A Modern AU where Wei Wuxian sees his single and bad ass friend Lan Zhan and his single and bad ass friend Mianmian and gets some very dumb ideas.

To return to the point: Lan Zhan was peak adulting. Mianmian was peak adulting. And if they were both at the peak, then they were on the same level. What level? That mysterious level thing that everyone mentioned when it came to dating.

Whatever level it was, Lan Zhan and Mianmian were on it together. Wei Ying nodded to himself. So, Lan Zhan and Mianmian were allowed to date each other. The next question was: were they compatible? Did they have chemistry or whatever the fuck people called it?

25. Crack me open, pour you out by Tenillypo - ~16,000 words, explicit - Lan Zhan gets cursed to say whatever he's thinking. So his worst nightmare. Mutual pining, first time, all good stuff.

Lan Wangji freezes with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth, lifting his eyes to stare at Wei Ying.

"I know! Just completely paralyzed." Wei Ying mimes being still as a board. "I don't know how long I lay there. It must have been two days at least. Good thing for Little Apple. He wandered back to the village when he got hungry, and eventually a few of them got brave enough to come look for me. When they rolled me over, the figure fell out of my hand and I could move again. Cunning little thing." He shakes his head. "I was weak as a kitten for a little while after they took me back to the village, and by the time I recovered, they'd burned the whole place to the ground. Such a waste."

Lan Wangji slowly lowers his chopsticks, heart racing unpleasantly. In his head, a picture of Wei Ying slowly wasting to death alone in the middle of the woods, with Lan Wangji a hundred miles away and none the wiser.

26. Crazy, Rich Cultivators by ShanaStoryteller - 13,000 words, no rating - Lan Zhan wants to bring his boyfriend home to meet his family. There are some things he definitely didn't realize about Wei Ying.

“He has a life here,” he says down the line. He doesn’t say that he has a life here too, one he likes a lot more than the one he had before. He misses home. He’d miss Wei Ying more. But he doesn’t say that, doesn’t say how vibrant he is and how beautiful and how little interest Lan Zhan has at seeing him among the high society he grew up with.

“Well, your life is here, Wangji,” his brother says. “You can’t stay away from home forever. You’re going to have to see how he does with the rest of us sooner or later. It might as well be sooner.”

It might as well be never, as far as he’s concerned. His family can meet Wei Ying at their wedding.

“I’ll ask,” he says.

Wei Ying has no interest in cultivation politics. They’re horrible, the five clans have an iron tight alliance that’s thirty seconds away from collapsing in on itself the moment someone from one sect steps on another sect’s toes. It’s the worst and he hates it. Surely even just the idea of it will be so horrifying to Wei Ying that Lan Zhan will be able to tell his brother no.

27. just our hands clasped so tight by electrum ~4,000 words, teen - Lan Zhan really, really, really just wants to give Wei Ying everything he wants.

“Despite your best efforts,” Wei Wuxian agrees. He shakes his head in mock-dismay. “How much longer do you think that will last if you keep buying everything I look at?” When this, too, fails to soften Lan Zhan’s resolve, he tries a different tactic. “We couldn’t even afford potatoes,” he says. “Back when I was with the Wens, at the Burial Mounds. Only radishes! If I survived that, I can certainly survive without another pretty comb.”

Lan Zhan’s expression is at once unmoved and yet somehow stricken. “I would have bought Wei Ying potatoes,” he says, like Wei Wuxian doesn’t know, by this point, that Lan Zhan would buy him anything. “If I had known…”

28. ** Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller - ~64,000 words, no rating - Jin Ling & Wei Wuxian with Wangxian in the background. Jin Ling is the best boy! And as he tries to rehabilitate his sect and his family and keep himself alive at the same time, he realizes, horrifyingly, that he has to be the mature one.

29. ** an act too often neglected by Ariaste - Lan Xichen / Meng Yao, ~61,000 words, explicit - The Wangxian is in the background here, but the main story is about Lan Xichen meeting Meng Yao on a dating app and getting immediately dickmatized. Meanwhile. Meng Yao refuses to be won over by Lan Xichen's charm. It goes as well as you'd expect for him.

The caption below is equally sparse: “5’6. Demanding.”

Lan Xichen feels a low simmer of arousal kindle in the pit of his stomach, and he gazes at that word-- demanding --for nearly as long as he’d stared at the photograph. He swipes right.

A few minutes later, a notification pops up: < Hm, the size of your hands is promising.

This is familiar. This is the flirtation stage. Lan Xichen knows the steps to the dance.

30. My Land Beneath Me by longleggedgit - ~30,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Wei Wuxian is cast out of his sect and out of China to America. And Lan Zhan just...follows.

Lan Zhan always waited for his tea to cool before drinking, which meant he had nothing to do but give Wei Wuxian a judgmental look. “No more McDonald’s.”

“You’re just bitter because you get indigestion from anything that actually tastes good,” Wei Wuxian grumbled.

Because Lan Zhan was insufferably mature and patient, he didn’t rise to the bait. “We have time to stop somewhere before class,” he said.

“Fine. But you’re paying this time.”

It was a bad joke, and predictably, fell flat; Lan Zhan was, after all, paying for everything, every time. Wei Wuxian frowned into his mug.

“You know,” he said, after another swallow, “you really don’t have to be here. I’m going to figure something out.”

Interested in 86 more The Untamed fic recs?

Part 1 - 40 recs Part 2 - 23 recs Part 3 - 23 recs

#the untamed fic #the untamed #master of demonic cultivation #wangxian fic recs #wangxian fic #mdzs #lan xichen/jin guangyao #lan zhan #wei wuxian/lan wangji #wei wuxian #jin ling #lan sizhui #mxtx novels

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thevirgodoll · 4 years ago

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hi! i was wondering if you have any tips to stay organized and stay on task? i’ve been doing a short online course this year and have really struggled to ACTUALLY bring myself to do the work, as assignments and lessons are not under any time constraints i just don’t do it. i also have adhd so get bored or distracted easily. do you have any tips for me?

This is really close to me because I also have ADHD. I have both inattentive and hyperactive type. *As a result, this academic tip guide will be a guide for people with ADHD and not neurotypical people, without disability. There is a difference.*

I am doing online as well this semester.

1. I create a schedule. If I do not create a schedule, I will be unproductive the entire day. So, what will help you is to do things in orderly fashion.

For example, at 12p - I will do this assignment/watch this lecture. You have to dictate what time you’re doing everything. Then, you also have to block out technology distractions while you are working.

-> Even if you’ve gotten halfway through the day with no schedule, write down or block off times on your digital calendar for what you are going to do at each time. ADHD is easier to tackle if you break things down into smaller tasks.

*Pro tip that I almost forgot: before you do anything, wear your day clothes. Don’t wear pajamas. Actually getting dressed or even doing hair/makeup changes things.

2. Download the Forest app after you have created your schedule. I consistently recommend this because it works in increasing productivity. It allows you to set it for however long you’re doing this task, say 30 minutes.

-> Why?: It will block all apps on your phone for (insert time here) to plant a tree, and if you leave the app your “tree” will die. Eventually, the more sessions you do, the more points you will gain to plant different plants, and eventually plant real trees around the world.

3. Have a list (& a planner) as well. Not only is the schedule creating structure, but the list creates even more structure so you know what you need to get done for the day. It also helps you not fall victim to the classic symptom of forgetting. Each day, you should write down what you WANT to get done and create your own times to look at lecture and assignments. Have goals for the day.

For example: complete assignment 2.

If you do not have expectations with yourself before the day begins, your ADHD will kind of take over and do something else. I have structure to my day. I set a timer to wake up at the same time. I take my ADHD medicine 90 minutes before my final wake up time, and I do my morning routine once it kicks in. Having the same routine helps.

-> Focus on your goals. Don’t be super harsh about the times.

-> Don’t overwhelm with how many things on to do list. Again, break it up into small tasks. For example, one part being: Wash dishes or fold laundry. It makes it less overwhelming to your brain and gives you a choice of which task. Typical non ADHD people just tell you to prioritize tasks but that doesn’t work for us. Do it in a random order and it gets the job done.

4. TAKE BREAKS! The other side to this is making sure that you give yourself adequate breaks.

*For hyperfocus, wait til your hyperfocus has started to wear off. Use it to your advantage for peak productivity. It is no joke.*

-> The misconception is that some people with ADHD are lazy and as a result, some ADHDers won’t take breaks. You can take a break. Healthy, long breaks do more for you long term.

-> Have a timer set. For example, after a 45 minute session or an hour session, I will take a break to do another task that has nothing to do with studying, like laundry, eating a snack, or stretching. Then after that task is done, I will go back to studying.

5. Have a workspace. Only do work at this space. I do schoolwork at my living room table and it is perfect. I do not study in my room because that is my sanctuary for relaxation and rest, not productivity. Make an effort to make the workspace clean, with your supplies - laptop, notebooks, pens, etc - readily available.

-> Once I get to my workspace, everything for the morning is already done. I’ve done my morning routine, so all there is left to do is hydrate while I study.

6. Recognize if you have adequate energy to do the task. Sometimes, with ADHD you may neglect your needs. If you are not getting enough rest, here are some tips:

•Bed should be for rest only.

•Blackout curtains

•Lavender essential oil, I have a diffuser but you can also put it on your pillow

•Background noise: pick what you want, lo fi music, rain sounds, binaural beats, singing bowls

•If all else fails, ADHD is often comorbid with other illnesses, meaning you could have a form of depression causing insomnia for example. This should be considered if you are having long term issues and symptoms.

7. Don’t overdo it. We are not neurotypical. Executive dysfunction is real - meaning our brains actually shut down when it perceives a task to be mundane.

-> You do not have to fit everything into one schedule for the sake of being “productive”. Each day should be what you know you can do, and there are different days to tackle different goals.

-> When you feel like you cannot continue, which is literally a symptom of ADHD, sit still for a few minutes.

8. Have a “What I Did Today” List. Because of how ADHD actually makes us feel, we don’t realize how much work we have put in. ADHD actually can be explained easily, we have about 2 dopamine workers showing up to work while most people are at maximum capacity. We are working overtime to do our best, even on medicine. So, acknowledging what we did today is good and encouraging, or at least reflecting in a journal.

9. Play music. It’s recommended to play study music without words because with ADHD we will submerge ourselves into the playlist of nostalgic 90s R&B. I recommend lo fi hip hop on YouTube, video game instrumentals, classical music, or jazz instrumentals. Whatever gets you going just do it!

General ADHD tips:

•Rewrite lecture notes and type the lecture notes.

•Color code with bright colors and pretty drawings or calligraphy

•Instead of telling yourself “I need to take notes” which usually leads to procrastination say “Rewrite lecture notes and emphasize main points” ... this is useful in your to do list but in everyday goals

•Generally try to get your assignments done ahead of time if there is structure to certain courses, if not, again, stick to the schedule. If you slip one day off your schedule then don’t beat yourself up. Breathe!!!

•Side effect of most ADHD meds is that you’re not hungry so buy easy things to eat like muscle milk or yogurt and granola or smoothies so you can sustain yourself

•Get a dry erase board to show what you need to do for the day and put it on the fridge with command strips

•To avoid forgetting things, put them at a table near the door where you leave your apartment/dorm/house.

•Don’t overthink the time it takes to get ready, often that’s why ADHDers are late. Better to be super early than late though - have a routine set so you know how long each task takes - for example “I know a shower takes me 15 mins, washing my face takes 60 seconds and a few more including sunscreen/moisturizer, etc...”

•In that same grain, set timers for going to the bathroom, showering, etc just in case you one day hyperfocus and push yourself too far

•Open the blinds!!!!

•Clean your room and tidy up your space. A cluttered space impacts your mental health in a really negative way. Your space reflects your mental state at times as well, so check in with yourself. Have a specific day where you know you’re going to clean, but ADHD sometimes gives us bursts of cleaning so take advantage of that as well.

•Anytime your water bottle empties refill it. Have your water bottle or mason jar next to your workspace, and drink 5-10 gulps. Seriously. ADHD depends a lot on hydration, especially if you are on medicine which naturally dehydrates you. If you do not stay hydrated, you’ll get that massive headache mid day and crash sooner. A lot of times, lack of productivity can be due to not drinking enough water.

•If you don’t take medication, then sometimes you may notice you love coffee, and that’s because it’s a stimulant. Too much of anything is not good, but balance it with water. If you’re going to use coffee to kinda “medicate” then do it close to when you’re going to be productive.

•Setting yourself up to do a task rather than envisioning the overwhelming act of doing the entire action. “Okay, lets just get up and get the first step down, such as opening the laptop or wetting the toothbrush.” Baby steps.

•Take advantage of accommodations! Your college more than likely has an Office of Disability Services. Also, email your professors...they’re actually just as stressed as you about classes being online.

•Remember that you’re already trying as hard as you can, so don’t listen to the narrative of “try harder”, “you’re *r word*”, “you’re cheating by using medication”, “just do it,” “it’s easy,” “what’s so hard about it?” or “you’re lazy”. Anyone telling you that, even yourself, is wrong. And DO NOT allow anyone to be ableist, even yourself.

•Validate yourself. Don’t let anyone to do the “I experience that too”/“I know what you mean”/“we ALL have trouble with this!” and they don’t have ADHD. No. It’s our experience, it’s valid, and unlike anything on the planet. If you’re reading this and you don’t have ADHD - no, you do not experience any of the things in my next bullet point.

•Don’t be hard on yourself if you stumble along the way getting this right. ADHD completely changes your executive functioning.

We see the task, but our brain blocks it.

We have something marked down as “important” but our brain tosses it out in the “trash”.

We watch an entire episode of a show, but our brain ignored the entire thing. Our brain picks and chooses what is stimulating, our brain changes our interests.

We have sensory overload, we have no dopamine, we have bursts of curiosity that cannot be contained (often inconvenient) and if interrupted, our brains cannot take it.

People often discount how many things ADHD actually changes because it’s widely misunderstood. I want to take the time to acknowledge that ADHD, formerly known as simply ADD, has different types: primarily inattentive, primarily hyperactive-impulsive, or combined which is what I have. So it’s not “hyper” and “relatable”. It is also not a buzzword to use to describe things. I must put stereotypes and misrepresentations of ADHD to rest.

It impacts us emotionally as well, which most people don’t know... such as rejection dysphoria — extreme sensitivity to being criticized to where our brains self destruct. Our brains don’t regulate emotions well.

ADHDers - do not fall victim to how everyone else operates and call yourself a failure. We have to work twice as hard and the results actually come out brilliant especially with our determination and imaginative ideas that are also seen in autistic individuals, honorable mention!

There’s good days and bad days. There’s literal changes in thinking that other people do not experience. We all collectively know wouldn’t be who we are without ADHD, but we all recognize the challenges. However, it makes me happy to see messages like this so that I can make a difference and hopefully help one person with ADHD, especially of color, at a time stop being so hard on themselves. 💗

#answered #mental health #adhd #actuallyadhd #studyblr #save

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sakura-83 · 3 years ago

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Things from Anne with an e that I feel like writing down

Season 1 Episode 7: Wherever You Are Is My Home

⚠️WARNING!!!⚠️ this episode not only talks about suicidal thoughts but also a character trying to commit such acts, of you are sensitive to this I suggest you just skip this post or at least skip #75-77

1. Anne calling it comforting that no two snowflakes are alike, as well as calling snow a sign of gods forgiveness as he blankets the dead world in a beautiful frost

2. Josie gossiping about her while she’s RIGHT THERE

3. Her and moody just talking

4. “And I love Christmas, don’t you?” “I don’t know, but I plan to.” “Did you not have Christmas at the orphanage?” “There wasn’t much to it really. I’m not sure why Father Christmas wasn’t able to stop there, maybe the matron scared him off.”

5. “Do you at least know if they’re going to keep you?” “Keep me!?”

6. Anne trying to sing with the others but the other voices quickly fading out as she panics and rushes home

7. “They’re not going to send you back, you’re in the Bible and everything!”

8. Marilla has every right to be angry that Matthew rushed their home without even discussing it

9. “I knew you’d lose your head-“ “Oh, I oughta smack yours right off your shoulders!”

10. Matthew is prone to heart attacks, the very same thing causing his death in the books

11. “He’s had an episode of the heart” just a funny way to say heart attack, sort of long winded

12. Marilla not understanding the complex math because she had to leave school when she was young

13. Anne helping her with it because she’s top of her class

14. “Not keeping you? You’re a Cuthbert, for better or for worse! No getting out of it now.”

15. The awful bank not relenting on the payback schedule despite the fact that Matthew cannot work. Corporations are cruel and ungiving despite the human struggles and needs of its clients and it hurts. I know the bank invested that money and they need it back but Matthew was indisposed by a tragic event and to not only not extent but to SHORTEN the payback schedule is just unfeeling

16. Marilla putting out an ad to the mainland to take in borders

17. The terrifying idea that you must sell everything you have in order to survive

18. Marilla being desperate yet still too prideful to accept charity

19. The fact that it not only effects the family but also Jerry, as they can’t afford to pay him. It puts him out of a job and lowers his families income

20. A reoccurring theme I love in this show is the idea that the characters will give up their belongings, no matter how sentimental, in the name of family. Matthew selling his dead brothers watch, Marilla selling her grandmothers brooch, Anne selling the dress of her dreams, all because no matter how important these items are, they are just things. That family is more important, so even though it pains you to have to give those things up, you do it in the name of love for others

21. “Theyre just things.”

22. Anne feeling sorrow and yet being excited to stay at aunt Josephine’s

23. Despite being told she can keep the dress, Anne insists on selling it back because it’s a family effort

24. Anne being exited for a solo adventure and then getting stuck with jerry

25. Jerry has to be there to get money Anne his family is hungry :(

26. “I don’t actually need your help.” “When’s the last time you drove a sleigh? Auctioned a horse? Let’s go.”

27. Diana giving her things to sell as well

28. Jerry knows how to drive a sleigh?????

29. “It’s not so bad to ask for help sometimes, y’know?” “If I needed help I would say so.” “No you wouldn’t.” “Yes, I would.” “Wouldn’t.” “Would! Times infinity.” “What???”

30. Jerry singing in French

31. “No singing. I mean it. I’m serious, Jerry! This is an important journey! I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY BEAR HANDS!”

32. Jerry grinning as she gets madder

33. Anne bring mystified by the dress shop

34. “I’m here to return a dress.” Is something wrong with it?” “Not a thing.” “Do you not like it?” “It is my very favorite thing that I have ever possessed in life. But I need to return it to help my family.” “You’re Anne, Matthew’s Anne!” “I am! How nice it is to hear it said that way.”

35. Anne being upbeat until Jeannie asks what’s wrong and then ask just breaks down

36. Poor Jerry waiting outside in the snow for her

37. Either Matthew spent some much money on Anne’s dress or Jeannie gave her extra, or both

38. “Did Matthew really spend this much?..” “You’re worth a lot to him.”

39. “I hate to say goodbye…” “😏 I won’t be so long~” “To the HORSE, Jerry. Why are you so annoying.”

40. “You’re a good horse Birdie, try to remember that. Someone will be very lucky to have you.”

41. Birdie really is a beautiful horse though

42. Anne’s little “my parents are spies” act she uses on the pawn broker

43. The pawn broker is so understandable rude because of his profession, it makes him equally annoying and funny

44. “What a piece of work you are.”

45. Anne is so good at making up stories on the spot

46. “If you can’t afford it I completely understand.”

47. I love how snide remarks of “being a good Christian” are frequent and effective insults in the 1800’s

48. Poor Jerry doesn’t just get beaten up and robbed, he gets brutally beaten by two grown men and there’s nothing he can do despite that being… his last paycheck. That was the last income he was going to give his family and he’s so ashamed of himself that he keeps apologizing for it despite most of the money being his. He apologizes to Anne, to Matthew, it bothers him for months to come

49. Gilbert’s back!!

50. “Still seems unreal. Even though I just sold all our… everything.”

51. “He’s a good man.” “I love him with all my heart. I don’t know what if do if…”

52. Them arguing over not arguing

53. Anne apologizing

54. “Anyway…” “Anyway..”

55. I genuinely didn’t realize that the men who beat up Jerry are the same men that took in borders at green gables, I got the same face blindness as Jerry himself

56. “I’ve missed you.” “Yeah?” “At school, theres.. no one to compete with.” “”You want to spell out a few words for old times sake?” “How about… truce?”

57. Jerry thinking Gilbert was going to hurt Anne and take her money and immediately jumping in to stop him despite swaying on his feet

58. When Anne asks him if he’s okay he immediately starts apologizing about the money

59. “I don’t like the city.”

60. “Just take care of yourself, and come home someday.”

61. Anne and Gilbert staring at each other quietly

62. “This is a palace, not a house.”

63. Jerry assuming that they’ll make him sleep in the stable instead of inside the massive house

64. “I’ll look after belle.”

65. “This city is rife with ruffians!”

66. Aunt Josephine insisting on helping

67. Matthew lamenting his own life, talking of how his life insurance will give them a sizable sum and how he drags them down despite them needing him

68. “Anne loves you, you have to remember that.” “But her future…” “Which do you think she would choose, this house or you?”

69. Jerry bring terrified to stay in a room by himself because he’s always had his family around him

70. Anne making room for him only for him to sleep upside down

71. “Don’t worry, I don’t kick like my sisters.” “Yeah, you’d better not.”

72. “Everything will be alright. It’ll be alright..”

73. Aunt Josephine helping by paying for Jerry to work at Green Gables, as well as giving Anne books

74. “We’ve been together all these years, thick or thin, so don’t think I’ll put up with you slipping away now. Anne will be home today, and she’ll be very happy to see you.”

75. Matthew trying to kill himself because the life insurance would pay off the debt he caused

76. Jeannie happening to show up and find Matthew with the gun just in time as he tries to hide what he’s almost done from her, realizing what he’s done

77. The way they stress how his passing would effect Anne the most because of what they mean to each other, that she will suffer without him despite what he’s trying to do

78. “Don’t ever get old…” “Too late for that.”

79. “You would’ve left us that way!? Left me?..”

80. “Give it back. I won’t take charity.” “But.. love isn’t charity.” “I won’t take it.” “Nay I ask why not?” “We will not be pitied! I don’t want people thinking we can’t fend for ourselves.” “Well at the moment we can’t, and I’d sure give my last bit of strength or my last dollar to help a friend. Then I know that friend would feel grateful and loved above all else. And I do. I feel very grateful to have such a dear friend as Miss Barry. Sometimes you just have to let people love you Marilla.”

81. Anne selling her cleaning services to make steady income

82. “We’re rich, aren’t we Matthew?”

83. Jerry carving a star for the Christmas tree!!!!!!

84. Anne’s friends coming to sing carols at their house

85. Anne helping Matthew walk outside

86. Not Nate :(

87. Nathaniel, the bane of my existence

#renew awae #awae #anne shirly cuthbert #jerry baynard #mathew cuthbert #marilla cuthbert #josephine barry

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ekgx94 · 3 years ago

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The Other Girl || A Adam Ruzek Mystery

Part 1:

“7 Adam 15, we got a 911 call from an apartment owner saying he found a tenet unconscious, possible homicide, address is 389 Lakeview.”

Kim heard on her radio.

“7 Adam 15, hold us down for that call, plain clothes officers responding.”

Hailey said as Kim looked at her.

“It’s not even 8 am yet.” Kim said. “Probably just another overdose to be honest.”

Hailey pulled in to see people standing outside along with patrol officers and CSU.

“That was fast.” Kim said.

“Hey, officer Burgess & Detective Upton, what happened?”

“It’s brutal.” The patrol officer said. “Cassie Collins, 24, she clearly knew her attacker because there was no sign of forced entry, we’re thinking she opened the door, and that’s when they started attacking her. They beat her head so bad you can see the inside of her head.”

“Jesus Christ.”

Hailey said as Kim looked around the once (what looked to be) an organized apartment, it was bloodied and broken. It became a crime scene. There was pictures on her mantle of her and friends. Kim broke Hailey of her thoughts as she walked back into the main room.

“She was stabbed as well?”

Kim said picking up a knife with a glove. “Yeah, we think she was trying to defend herself with it, perp took the knife and stabbed her with it, the head trauma is what caused her to die though. She fought back hard.”

Kim picked up her hand.

“She’s missing a fingernail.”

“Yeah we think maybe she broke it off in the struggle.”

Hailey stood up.

“Do we have a time of death?” “Somewhere between 9:30 and 11pm last night. We spoke to her neighbor Macy, she said she saw Cassie at 8:30 as she was leaving for work and everything seemed normal.”

“So the perp had to know the neighbor had to know no one was gonna be home so no one could hear her screaming.”

“Exactly.”

The patrol officer said.

“Poor girl. She didn’t even have a chance.” Kim said.

“So Adam took MaKayla to the doctor today?”

Hailey asked as Kim was looking around her bedroom.

“Yelp, even though we broke up we decided we don’t bring MaKayla into this. Adam’s the only real dad she knows. So why punish her because he’s an idiot.” Hailey nodded.

“Are you okay?”

She shrugged.

“I guess so. It’s been 2 months. I thought it was gonna be easier but it’s not.”

She ducked down when she seen a flannel laying under the bed.

“Hey Hailey, gimme a glove.”

Hailey handed it to her.

“Got something?”

“Maybe.”

She looked at the familiar flannel. Something about it just reminded her of something or someone for that matter.

“Is that blood?”

Hailey pointed out.

“It is.”

The blood drop on the flannel looked fresh. Like maybe 2 or 3 days tops.

“It can’t be.”

She said out loud.

“What can’t be?”

Hailey looked at her.

“Oh my God.”

She walked over to the laptop on the desk and saw something that made her eyes go huge.

“Adam.”

She said looking at the picture. He was smiling shirtless and had his arms wrapped around the now deceased young blonde girl.

“What is it?”

Hailey said as Kim moved over.

“I’ll call Voight.” Hailey sighed.

“Is that a good ice cream?”

MaKayla nodded.

“Daddy, when are you coming home?” Adam sighed.

“Right now, me and your mom are trying to work things out okay?”

She nodded.

“Alright, let’s get you back to school.” Adam said smiling pulling in.

After dropping MaKayla off Adam headed into work. His phone ringing caught me off guard.

“Hey boss.”

He answered.

“What?! Slow down. Alright I’m on my way!”

Adam rushed to the apartment.

“Cassie?! CASSIE?!”

He yelled.

“Adam! Adam! You can’t go in there!”

Kim pushed him back.

“What happened?!”

He looked hurt and confused.

“She was murdered. Adam listen to me, how long have you been sleeping with this girl?”

Hailey demanded.

“Like a month, we met at a bar. We’ve been seeing each other since.”

“Adam, when’s the last time you seen her?”

“Three days ago, we were supposed to meet up tonight.”

“So you talked to her last night?”

“Yeah like around 6:30.”

“You gotta let me in there.”

Adam pleaded.

“You can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because her blood was found on your flannel.”

His eyes got big.

“I can explain that.”

“Adam.”

Voight said as he turned around.

“Save it for your FOP lawyer.”

“Look I don’t need a lawyer. I can explain why her blood was on my flannel. We were…we were messing around and she broke her nail off. The blood got on it.”

“That would explain her nail missing.”

Halstead said.

“Adam, IAD is here. They wanna talk.” Kevin said as he walked up to his desk. “Look I was sleeping with her, but I didn’t kill her. I wouldn’t kill her, I have no reason too!”

He pleaded.

“Just everybody calm down.” Voight said. “Adam, where were you this morning?”

“I had to take Makayla to the doctor. We stopped for ice cream and then I took her to school. I was leaving the school when you called me.”

“What about yesterday?” Halstead said.

“I worked until 8:30 then I went and saw MaKayla and I didn’t get home till around 10:30. But you can ask Burgess. I didn’t leave her house till almost 10.”

“It’s true. He was there. He helped her with her homework.”

It killed Kim to hear what they were accusing him of. She just couldn’t believe he did something so gruesome. She sighed walking over to Adam.

“Come on, I’ll go with you.”

He sighed.

“I’m sorry.”

He said as he walked down the stairs.

#adam ruzek #patrick john flueger #chicago pd #jay halstead #jesse lee soffer #laroyce hawkins #hailey upton #kim burgess #marina sargenti #one chicago #tracy spiridakos #kevin atwater #burzek #mystery #murder mystery #fanfic #fic #the other girl

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loth-wolffe · 3 years ago

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(not me making this awful cover but i wanted this to have one lmao. i do not own the picture i used, so credits to whomever made this lovely pic)

So first of all, I just wanted to say thank you so much for the 100 followers LIKE?????? where did thAT come from I just- you guys are sO AMAZING !!! I am beyond grateful for all of your support and your kindness and I'm so happy interact with you pretty people.

I really don't have any rules, nor characters I don't wanna write of that I can think of as in right now. (please if state if u want it to be nsfw bc my first instinct is write sfw stuff)

ANd, as a thank you, I made this super duper fantastic song lyric prompt list that you can choose from (you can absolutely send in a lyric that isn't in the list if you want) and just send me a sw character and we'll see how that goes!

SO HERE IT IS:

Song lyric prompt list

• already requested, but you can ask for them again!

1. I don't need anything fancy, I just need me and you slow dancing. - Slow dancing by Aly and AJ.

2. I've been trying hard not to talk to you/act a fool. - Sunflower vol. 6 by Harry Styles

3. Say it's been long six months, and you were too afraid to tell her what you want. - How you get the girl by Taylor Swift

4. And if you have a minute, why don't we go? Talk about it, somewhere only we know. - Somewhere only we know by Keane

5. To the strand, a picnic planned, for you and me. - From Eden by Hozier

6. Why she had to go? I don't know, she wouldn't say. - Yesterday by The Beatles

7. I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you. - Fallingforyou by the 1975

8. Take on me, take me on, I'll be gone, in a day or two. - Take on me by a-ha

9. Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do. - Like real people do by Hozier

10. You wanna say no, no, it ain't gonna work, but then you fumble your words, oh you're running out of reasons. - Running out of reasons by The Wanted

11. You love me, but you don't know it yet. - Happy accidents by Saint Motel

12. I don't really care what they would say, I'm asking you to stay. - Level of concern by twenty one pilots

13. You know I talk too much, honey come put your lips on mine and shut me up. - Talk too much by COIN.

14. I know that you're scared because hearts get broken. - Golden by Harry Styles

15. I try and try to erase you, but you won't disappear - Everywhere by Niall Horan

16. I heard you ask about me through a friend, my adrenaline kicked in, because I've been asking 'bout you too - Nervous by Shawn Mendes

17. Every time I'm leavin' you, you don't make it easy. - Sunflower by Post Malone and Swae Lee.

18. I wish that I could believe, that there's a day you'll come back to me, but still have to say, I'd do it all again. - Just want you to know by Backstreet Boys

19. Well, tell me do you hate me or do you wanna date me? - Van Horn by Saint Motel

20. Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain. - Hey Stephen by Taylor Swift

21. I know I would rather be together alone, in a big top circle and a world we can call our own. - All our own by Radio Company

22. Every time I find the words to end it, something in your eyes won't let it. - Shandi by KISS

23. Just dance in my living room, love with an attitude, drunk to an 80's groove - Only human by Jonas Brothers

24. I spend all my time, waiting all night for you. - No going back by Yuno

25. I need to know, if this is mutual, before I go. - Mutual by Shawn Mendes

26. I will sing to your every day, if it will take away your pain - Miss missing you by Fall out Boy

27. If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you. - If I could fly by One Direction

28. When you rise in the morning sun, I feel your touch in the pouring rain, and the moment that you wander far from me, I wanna feel you in my arms again. - How deep is your love by Bee Gees

29. If I wake, I'll move closer without waking you, sleeper, sleeper, what's been tiring you. - Rise by Helena Deland

30. All we do is think about the feelings that we hide, all we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign. - Drive by Halsey

31. I never sat by the shore, under the sun with my feet in the sand, but you brought me here. - Malibu by Miley Cyrus

32. With a sunset and a moonrise not so far behind, to give us enough light, to lay down underneath the stars. - Constellations by Jack Johnson

33. Dancing through our house with the ghost of you. - Ghost of you by 5sos

34. And we all sit around the fire, we feel a little warmer now. - Woods by Hollow Coves

35. Won't you kiss me once, baby? Just a kiss goodnight, maybe. - Put your head on my shoulder by Paul Anka

36. If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?- Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd

37. Baby just came back around, said she needs time to explore, said I can’t love her no more - Baby came home by The Neighborhood

38. When I kissed you I meant it. / I wanna be more than a friend. - Do it again by Pia Mia

39. I thought that I was dreaming when you said you loved me. - Ivy by Frank Ocean

40. If you're awake then I am too. If you're lost then I'll find you. If you're hurt then I'll fix you. - It's U by Cavetown

41. They don't know about the things we do, they don't know about the I love you's. - They don't know about us by One Direction

42. Can I kiss you or not? / Are you still mad at me? I'm hoping not. - Like to be you by Shawn Mendes and Julia Michaels

43. Kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again, it's been a long, long time. - It's been a long, long time by Harry James

44. Kiss me hard before you go. - Summertime sadness by Lana del Rey

45. You said you'd meet me out there tomorrow, but tomorrow never came. - Tomorrow never came by Lana del Rey ft. Sean Ono Lennon

46. How can I miss you so much when you're right here? - Miss you so much by Miley Cyrus

47. The way she tells me I'm hers and she's mine. - Cherry wine by Hozier

48. No need to say goodbye, you'll come back, when it's over. - The Call by Regina Spektor.

49. Common sense tells me kiss the girl goodbye / I think I love you - Common sense by Joshua Bassett

50. If I could tell her how she's everything to me, but we are a million worlds apart and I don't know how I would even start - If I could tell her by Ben Platt ft Laura Dreyfruss

51. I'm giving you a night call to tell you how I feel - Nightcall by Kavinsky

52. We went for a drive, at 2:30 in the morning. I kissed you, it was pouring. - Remember that night? by Sara Kays

53. Don't wanna hand you all my trouble, don't wanna give you all my demons, you'll have to watch me struggle from several rooms away, but tonight I'll need you to stay - The run and go by twenty one pilots

#crosshair x reader #hunter x reader #wrecker x reader #tech x reader #echo x reader #the bad batch x reader #arc trooper jesse x reader #arc trooper fives x reader #clone trooper x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #maul x reader #captain rex x reader #commander wolffe x reader #commander cody x reader #kix x reader #pls don't let me flop #i'd love to make some drabbles for you lovely people

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