#when i tell you i was GAGGED

[dracomysthical]

that moment in "dangerous" that parallels "full speed ahead" when odysseus says "with only one goal in mind..." only to be answered by FUCKING SILENCE because ALL HIS MEN ARE DEAD

[batbrainrot]

"When's the last time you missed, Barbara?"

Batman: Three Jokers (2020)

Written by Geoff Johns, art by Jason Fabok and Brad Anderson

[ediblesglue]

MY FRIEND SAID THAT SHE WANTS THE SAW X EYE TRAP TO SUCK HER DICK

[lelianaslefthand]

uh oh sisters....

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

As per usual, it’s DP crossover with (probably) DC, although you could probably adjust it for other fandoms

ANYWAYS

A little kid and his mother are trick or treating in another city, perhaps at some kind of event rather than knocking on doors, and the kid is dressed as Phantom. It’s very adorable, with his little ghost-shaped bucket and clearly homemade and already stained costume—listen, white only works if you can just fly over street grime or phase it out of your clothes—and his slightly I’ll fitting wig. The kid is SO happy to be out and about dressed as his favorite, and maybe even showed it off to Phantom back in Amity Park before his family left.

The hero, insert whoever you wish here, is probably in civvies and just enjoying the event. The kid, meanwhile, is so glad when people ask who he is so he can explain, and so- the hero gets to hear ALL ABOUT the local town hero who is probably pretty small time despite the kid’s clearly exaggerated stories. The hero certainly never heard of him, but the kid’s mom confirms that Phantom really was the town hero, despite some mixed reviews of the poor guy.

“Did you manage to show him your costume?” the hero asks.

“Yeah! We went down to the cemetery to leave flowers and I got to show him my costume.”

Wait. Cemetery? Maybe it was part of theme, because Phantom had to be named that for a reason, but… it sounded like…

The kid ignores the suddenly VERY still hero and instead turns to his mom. “Momma, do you think we should bring him candy? He doesn’t get to trick or treat like we do, and I can work super hard to get him a bunch!”

The kid’s mom just smiles. “We could, but maybe we should bring him something homemade. I bet he’d like something more filling, teen boys like him have a hollow leg.”

The kid wrinkles his nose. “Like Vernie with the pizza bagels?”

“Like your cousin, yes. We can make some cinnamon rolls and take them to his memorial, maybe bring some of the apples from your grandpa’s garden��”

The hero is pretty much forgotten as the two-part family wanders off, not quite intentionally forgetting the hero is there so much as the hero somewhat accidentally ended the conversation when they just froze and didn’t ask anything further.

Not that the hero didn’t want to. But they’d learn something very serious.

One—there was a small town hero they’d never heard of. Two—that hero was apparently a teen. Third—most pressingly, the teen hero was both beloved enough to have kids dressing up as him and dead enough to have a grave.

This… might require some phone calls.

[old-skyguy]

The silly stupid alien show about ghosts that steal your cock and balls just pulled the most gut wrenching, poignant shit possible and portrayed it so artistically and meaningfully what is even life.

This was MASTERFULLY done. The visual and environmental storytelling, the subtle foreshadowing, and inject those motifs into my fucking BLOOD.

Ho. Ly shit. Good fucking lord.

[ziggystqrdust]

i had a dream about you // alucinatio by alexmeg

“He stares at the ceiling, blinking blankly every now and then, until his eyes close and he falls asleep.”

hey so what the fuck

bonus

caption translation: “you’re an angst enjoyer”

video translation: “that feeling like where it hurts so much but it feels good, you know that feeling when “aww im so sad cuz they didnt end up together😞” but its also satisfying in a way that they didnt end up together😁”

[t1koy-roll]

I've neglected my boy

[idyllcy]

batfam as couple tiktoks pt.2

word count: 1.7k

summary: couple tiktoks I've seen on douyin with the batboys

𓅫. running off mid-proposal to buy a ring - Bruce Wayne

"So, will you please marry me?" Opening the ring box, Bruce looks up at you. You blink owlishly at Bruce, pursing your lips as you hold your hand up. Bruce tilts his head at you in confusion as you rush off, and your friends and his kids all pause to process what the hell just happened. "Father, I believe this is a no." Damian stares at your retreating figure. "No, I think they'd at least give B the courtesy of a rejection." Steph mumbles. "This... dumbass!" Your friend curses, clicking on her phone violently as she dials again, your phone sending her to voicemail. "Let's just go back." "No." Bruce frowns. "Just a little longer." It eats him alive. Bruce isn't even sure if you'll run back or come back, but he has an inkling of a suspicion that you wouldn't just leave him like that. You've never just run away from him like that— not even when he showed up in front of you half-dead as Batman. You didn't just run away like that. You never have. "Really, Bruce, I think—" "I'm back!" You yell from the distance, Tiffany bag in tow as you run to Bruce, fumbling to get the box out, smiling at him stupidly as you show him the ring. "Will you marry me?" Bruce laughs, a sound coming from his chest as you grin at him, smile lopsided. "Only if you marry me." "Deal." You grin, and Bruce presses his lips to yours. Yes. Always.

𓅫. are you ready, mr. styles? - Dick Grayson

The flood of tiktok notifications comes one morning way before Dick gets out of bed— still sprawled out on your shared bed, and you squint at your phone screen, sleep still all over your face. "... I'm sleeping on the highway tonight?" You click open the notification, blinking as you notice Dick's username, scrolling to the second photo as you listen to the audio. ...Dick made a tiktok about you again. Right. ..oh. You smile as you notice the photo, a familiar one, a photo that Dick had insisted on taking while the two of you were out for dinner a couple of days ago. You click through the audio and confirm your thoughts. Dick posted you to a couple audio again. The news gives you butterflies as you lean down to press a kiss to Dick's temple, yelping as he yanks you down instead, pulling you on top of him as he smiles. "G' morning, gorgeous." "'morning." You smile. "I saw your tiktok." "Did you?" "Yeah." You hum. "Were you planning on telling me?" "No." He mumbles, pressing your head to his heart as you listen to it beat. "Love you." "Love you too."

𓅫. shopping in his arms - Jason Todd

"Which one?" "Mm..." You purse your lips, grimacing. "I want the regular." Jason adjusts you in his arms, mumbling for you to tighten your arms. You listen, craning your neck to try and look behind you at the product. You don't know what prompted him to ask you to do this, but you aren't complaining. You like it (even if your arms don't) "I figured." He hums, reaching for the carton as your arms tighten around his neck. "I'm not going to drop you, you know?" "Shopping like this is really inconvenient." You grumble. "Let me down?" "Mm... no." He grins. "We're only here for this, no?" "We could've just gotten this from the regular market..." "You love this." You can't deny that. "Can we get batburgers later?" "Of course."

𓅫. handcrafting a hairpin for you - Cass Cain

"I have a gift for you." Cass squeezes you gently as she holds the gift bag to the side. "I hope you like it." "I'll like anything you give me." You smile. "What is it?" "I'm taking woodworking, right?" "Yeah?" You take the bag from her, leading her to the couch. "You can open it." You blink at the Chinese written on the wood, tilting your head. "I'm pulling out google translate for this." You fish for your phone. "It's from the song." She mumbles. "my affection is genuine, my love is real, the moon represents my heart." "CASSSS!!!" You sob, throwing your arms around her as you press your cheek to hers. "I love you. I'm love you. I'm in love with you." "I love you too." She smiles. "Open it." You open the box, a sob breaking past your lips as you stare at the hairpin, picking it up as you notice the phoenix and lotus flowers. Your lips pull downward as you stare at Cass, tears forming in your eyes. "Awwh, I love you too, baby," She presses your head to her chest. "Do you like it?" "I love it. I hope they bury me with this." You mumble in tears. Cass laughs.

𓅫. Cause all of the small things that you do - Tim Drake

"...what are these?" Tim looks up from his laptop, noticing the giant bundles in your arm. "Okay, so there's this trend going around Tiktok right now to this song where couples will show off matching blankets, and I got a set for us!" You grin. "Also because you need a new blanket to swap out when your old one smells nasty." "Are you saying I smell?" "I'm not saying you don't." You smile innocently. "Go shower." "I need to finish—" "You're no fashion king while looking like a rat. You're like that one audio. How does it go? claimed he wasn't the rat king but one night you followed him into the sewers and he sat on a makeshift throne and a bunch of rats surrounded him and he definitely said "I am the rat king."" You pause. "The ex-boyfriends audio." "When I finish this case." "You solved your last one two minutes ago when I walked in. Go shower while I unwrap our blankets." You wave him off. "Boo." Tim gets up, stretching his arms as the old blanket falls off his shoulders, and he presses a kiss to the crinkle of your eye, humming. "Can I see the blanket before I shower?" You pull one out, showing him one side, and then the other. "I love it. Thank you, pretty bird."

𓅫. paper rings - Steph Brown

"Steph, pretty girl!!" You land on the couch next to her, cuddling up to her as you show her the new photos you put into a capcut template. "Wait this is—" She shows you her phone screen, and you laugh. It's the same template, your face plastered on it instead. "You wanna marry me with paper rings?" You poke her cheek, grinning. "Says the one who does." She rolls her eyes playfully. "Yeah, I do." You stick your tongue out. "I'll marry you with grass rings if I have to." "Okay, that's not necessary. Worst comes to worst, we rob Bruce." You feign a gasp. "You're evil." "You love me." "I do." You sigh blissfully, kicking your legs. "I'd marry you with ring pops too." "Oh, that's such a steal." She mumbles. "Let's get ring pops for our wedding rings." "Hell yes."

𓅫. hauling a can of water to Duke after sports day - Duke Thomas

"Did you know Duke was so handsome?" one of the girls in class gush. "I'm going to give him water after the event. Surely he'll be sweaty and stuff." "What makes you think he's going to take your water over mine?" Her friend shoves her playfully, grabbing a bottle of her own, running off as your mouth hands open. You blink at the text message Duke sent you beforehand, and then at the emptied shelves in the store on campus. ... they're out of bottles. shit. Your eyes wander to the ground as you spot sealed water cans. That'll do, you suppose. Duke finishes the game relatively quickly. You've grown used to his speed, so when all the girls flock around him to hand him a bottle of water, you settle with calling for Duke instead, waving your hand as you point at the can on the bench next to you. He bursts into laughter as he jogs over to you. "Did they take all of them?" He lifts it effortlessly, cracking the can open as he starts drinking. "You don't know how awful it was." You grimace. "Curse your good genetics." "Honored." He smiles. "So?" "Good game." You grumble, looking to the side, cheeks flushed. "Thank you."

𓅫. the olive theory - Damian Wayne

"I was telling her about it, so she was—" You pick out the olive from your pizza, placing it on Damian's plate. "— talking about how her friend had somehow hooked up with her boyfriend. So now they're trying to break up." Damian nods slowly as you continue. "Now the girl who hooked up with my friend's boyfriend is crying to me about how I need to tell her to calm down. I mean, what was she expecting? Gothamites are insane." You mumble, picking out another olive. "What is your friend planning?" "Arson, but you didn't hear that from me." "Sounds relatively tame. Is she native?" "Not quite. She moved here when she turned ten." You mumble, picking another out, grimacing. "How many olives did they put on this?" "Two more." He hums, reaching over to pick them out for you, popping them into his mouth. "That's why. Todd used to joke about how native gothamites just use their connections to ruin someone's life." "If it were me... I'd just send Tim over." "Not Todd?" "I think, arguably, Tim has committed more war crimes than Jason." You finally bite into your pizza. "If you do the math." Damian pauses to think. "Yes. That checks out." "Thank you, by the way." You mumble. "Maybe next time I'll just make it so that half of the pizza doesn't have olives." "I do not mind, habibi." He looks at you, eyes gentle. "Now, tell me. Did the boyfriend get kicked?" "Oh, he definitely did—"

[bittsandpieces]

does dick size matters to you? 5 inch is small? easily deepthroatable?

I've answered basically this exact ask so many times so here's the final permanent answer: five inches is average. It also doesn't matter if your dick is small, anyone can be equally good or bad at sex. I've had both great and terrible sex with people with big dicks and people with small dicks. It. Does. Not. Matter.

But addressing the last bit specifically, "easily deepthroatable", I'd like you to go find a five inch object to shove in your throat all the way to the base right now and tell me if it's easy. Porn has corrupted your brain into thinking gag reflexes are much more flexible than they are and I'm here to tell you that most people's bodies will not allow any degree of deepthroating to happen regardless of dick size

[a-most-beloved-fool]

I wish we had gotten to see Odo shapeshift into objects and animals more throughout DS9. It could have been so much fun. Let the man be liquid.

Like, imagine a holosuite episode where Odo is stuck in one of Bashir's spy programs (he did not want to be there in the first place, and is very grumpy about being trapped), and the people he's with keep trying to play the game normally, while he keeps shapeshifting them out of things.

Locked door? Oh lookie, his hand's the key. Sidequest skipped. Character needs a disguise? Odo shapeshifts into a wig. Disguise acquired. An enemy puts him in handcuffs? Oops! No more hands! Bonds escaped. You need something on the other side of that ravine? Good thing Odo's a bird now! Detour averted.

and so on and so forth, while his companions are like "I know where the key is! Oh, never mind... We can steal a disguise from- ah, I guess not? Handcuffs? Are you just going to -- yup, I thought you might. ........ You know, Odo, you might have more fun if you actually played the game."

(later, Julian commissions a game from Felix that prevents those kinds of workarounds. little invisible walls are programmed in that prevent any key but the correct one from working, you can't leave the room until your cuffs are actually unlocked, not just off, etc.)

[alwaysthequietones]

What do you think is 1 thing she gains from Steve & Jonathan you find influencing your portrayal of Nancy? ('After Hours' interview july 2022)

Quotes about stancy (1/2/3/4/5)

Shout out to thinkerjancy on twitter! :D Whom I've been made aware of seems to lack an astounding amount of creativity to the point that I thought, at first glance, they had screenshotted my post. lmao

I feel like it's general graphic making manners to at least credit inspo when you copy&paste style/placement/everything from someone else? I do! Don't be a dick! :D Also:

[lycorim]

I was recently reminded of the first time I read ADwD, with it being the only book in the series that I listened to via audio book, and I chose to do so during my shifts working food-service. Anyway, don't do that, friends!

(The artist, c. 2021, retraumatizing herself every three chapters over shortbread cookies:)

[twomanyfandomshelp]

I watched Scott’s Real Life video first because he and Joel are the main two I watch, which is ironic because of their ongoing in-game feud and very different personalities, video styles, general vibes, etc., but I digress.

My first thought when I saw the title was “Yay, another life series!” My second thought, upon seeing Joel standing in the circle, was “Oh my gosh, Joel, three SMPs at the same time? Why does he do this to himself?” Then, after watching for a bit, I was like, “Okay, never mind, this an April Fools video, still fun though.” And then I proceeded to enjoy the silliness and binge everybody else’s videos.

Let me tell you, watching Martyn’s video before Scar’s and hearing Scar yell that he’d fallen out of his wheelchair, I was really worried, and I immediately searched for Scar’s video to make sure he was okay. I’m glad he’s alright, I bet that was scary.

On another note, do y’all consider Cleo’s win cannon? Cause I do! Go Cleo, she deserved this.

I’m kinda sad it wasn’t Joel or Jimmy though, I got really excited when I realized how well Jimmy was doing. He got, what, 7th place? The canary curse has officially been broken!

This post has gotten way longer than I intended. Oh well.

[a-dotrivenitupontop]

spent about ~40 minutes today non stop talking explaining the plot of saw to this girl so she’d stop going on about a crush she was pisssed wouldn’t text her back. and i think it?? worked???

[macbethisms]

underrated thing about wang baoxiang is how utterly pathetic he is. intentionally provokes his brother every time they interact because having esen be mad at him for something he did on purpose is easier than being vulnerable and then is like how could esen think i hate him :(( goes around rolling his eyes at all these Idiots who don't consider the Needs of the Common Folk and then gets grossed out whenever a servant dares to speak to him. constantly thinking about Hot Men Exercising and how much they all want to fuck each other probably. hasn't emotionally matured past the age of fifteen (he is twenty-three). thinks of himself as a Character instead of a person so much that he gets surprised whenever the things he did for their narrative significance have actual real consequences. while being quite literally haunted by a specter of his own guilt is like hm what could this mean. well time to not sleep for another 36 hours. kills people and then throws up about it and then goes off to kill more people because surely this is the one that will fix everything right. wants to be punished for what he's done because it's the closest he can get to admitting he feels remorse. looks for his brother everywhere but only ever finds himself.

which of course culminates with him stalking miserably through the hallways looking for someone to be mad at because there needs to be someone else responsible for making his life suck but there isn't anymore because no one has power over him anymore. and he can't go back but tries to convince himself that he doesn't want to because he also needs to see himself as being In Control of Everything That's Ever Happened to Him. he wanted it all along and he likes it here actually. and he won fratricide chicken and got himself tortured and tried to show mercy and did every evil dishonorable thing and now he just has to live with it all forever. loser!!!!