#watching them lay on the floor was hilarious

[twomanyfandomshelp]

I watched Scott’s Real Life video first because he and Joel are the main two I watch, which is ironic because of their ongoing in-game feud and very different personalities, video styles, general vibes, etc., but I digress.

My first thought when I saw the title was “Yay, another life series!” My second thought, upon seeing Joel standing in the circle, was “Oh my gosh, Joel, three SMPs at the same time? Why does he do this to himself?” Then, after watching for a bit, I was like, “Okay, never mind, this an April Fools video, still fun though.” And then I proceeded to enjoy the silliness and binge everybody else’s videos.

Let me tell you, watching Martyn’s video before Scar’s and hearing Scar yell that he’d fallen out of his wheelchair, I was really worried, and I immediately searched for Scar’s video to make sure he was okay. I’m glad he’s alright, I bet that was scary.

On another note, do y’all consider Cleo’s win cannon? Cause I do! Go Cleo, she deserved this.

I’m kinda sad it wasn’t Joel or Jimmy though, I got really excited when I realized how well Jimmy was doing. He got, what, 7th place? The canary curse has officially been broken!

This post has gotten way longer than I intended. Oh well.

[nagalias-mindscape]

So. I haven't made any posts about the all-tiefling campaign recently.

things have been happening. god lord things have been happening.

Medli died for good, i think. It was a glorious almost TPK explosion of necrotic damage that had built up over the course of her not being able to stay dead for good. It's only fun in hindsight, though. I was a little aghast when it happened out of nowhere.

Everyone had to roll three different checks (even me) that we all failed, so no explanation on why she died out of nowhere. She's now being controlled by the DM- as in a spectral corpse since her body is gone-, but I was pulled aside and informed of some things that make me hopeful.

In the meantime, I was given leeway to play a couple NPCs and enemies just so i'm not being excluded from the group because I died. I'm having fun with it. That said:

I apologize to anyone in any of the three groups for that particular campaign that may have dealt with a certain Aarakocra Monk / Cleric who just could not be hit. I was told before the session to be 'as brutal as you can be. Knock them out as quickly as you can. Just make sure to use Spare the Dying when you do. This character has reason to not kill them'.

Self-casting Shield of Faith on myself to bring my AC to an 20 was just too good to pass up. I may have legit forgot about the combat-specific disadvantage i imposed on you all with my use of thaumaturgy before hand to intimidate you all that first time.

The other two were because the DM loved it. I still can't believe only one person managed to beat my intimidation roll of 13 (rolls were 18, 13 and 14), which was enhanced by a wonderful +0 (they needed to roll either an arcana check or an insight check that passed my 13).

Aarakocra had 75 health and whopping (boosted) 20 AC when everyone (minus one) had disadvantage on hitting me. Also had channel divinity to restore 25 health, Wholeness of Body (restore 21 health), 7 ki points, the ability to do slashing and bludgeoning damage with a single action, and the tried and true open hand technique where I just knock everyone prone without rest. Don't worry about the spells- they're all either healing, or party buffing. Or concentration, which would have dropped my AC down to 18 if I had used... which I probably should have, now that I'm thinking about it.

The one 'combat' spell I had, didn't feel fair to use. Spiritual Weapon.

I'm sorry the fight took two-three sessions. That was not my intention. Group two managed to subdue the bird (which is, subsequently, the group with the party member who rolled an arcana of nat 20 and thus didn't have to roll to hit me with disadvantage). Groups one and three are now separated and in cells.

I, uh, am glad all of you had fun, though. Small spoiler I was allowed to post: To all three groups, enjoy your new traveling companion. She's going to be your guide to the outside world- If you manage to get there.

Also was allowed to post the following, so on the off chance you actually are part of said D&D campaign, enjoy the stat page / spells I could have used under the readmore.

EDIT: only realized this afterwards, but there's a spell missing on this list that I forgot to snap a pic of. Here it is:

The critical Shield of Faith.

[corroded-hellfire]

Okay this is random but I work at a daycare and this little boy who’s about two years old looks exactly like his dad and their eyes are just so blue and distinctive but he has his mom’s hair and I was just wondering if you could write something like that with Eddie x reader, I just think it would be so cute to see their little mini me ! I love your work so sos much no pressure if you don’t want to of course:) 

Eddie as a father? If only I had some experience writing that 😜 I hope you enjoy your and Eddie’s little mini me!

Words: 900

“Can you believe it?”

“No. I mean, it’s been two years and no.”

Max and Dustin sit on the floor of your living room, watching your son rummage through the toy box on the other side of the deep brown coffee table until he finds something suitable to play with his babysitters.

Bret settles on his Fisher Price Rescue Hero action figures and tries to collect as many of them in his tiny arms as he can. A few curly strands of hair fall into his eyes which he shakes out of the way as well as he can manage in this position. Satisfied with the haul he’s gathered, he lugs himself out of the toy box and toddles back over to his favorite aunt and uncle. At least that’s what Max and Dustin tell themselves. 

“He’s like their clone,” Max speaks softly as Bret sits down and spreads the toys around his small body to get a better look. “Dad’s hair curls. Mom’s hair color.”

“Dad’s eye color, Mom’s skin tone. Jesus, I’d swear Eddie grew him in a lab if he knew the first thing about science.”

“Technically, Bret is here because of biology,” Max teases as the two-year-old in question hands the redhead a construction worker action figure.

“The one aspect of science Eddie’s willing to experiment with time and time again,” Dustin says. 

“Hmm?” the little boy asks Max, having heard her say his name.

“Huh?” Max asks, looking down at the youngest Munson. “Oh. Um, what game are we playing?”

“We playin’ heroes!” Bret announces, having the firefighting action figure he’s holding fly in an arc over his head. 

“Are they superheroes?” Dustin asks. He lays flat on his stomach to be more on an equal level with the toddler. Action figures of every occupation are spread out in front of him on the plush navy blue carpet. 

“Not all,” Bret says with a shrug, which is the spitting image of one of your usual quirks. 

“Which one do you want to be?” Max asks. 

Bret’s eyes scan the variety of toys laid out around him, his small tongue peeking out from between his lips as he thinks about it. Max can’t help but chuckle at the familiar image in front of her, just on a smaller scale. 

“I don’t know!” Bret pouts, his lower lip jutting out. He slumps down on the carpet, his head coming to rest on his Uncle Dusty’s shoulder. 

“Aw, come on, Mini Munson.” Dustin rolls onto his back and lifts Bret over his head. The two-year-old giggles wildly and starts to kick his feet as if he’s trying to swim away. The laughter is so loud and piercing that none of the three hear the front door opening.

“Careful,” Eddie says as he walks into the room, you trailing just behind him. “He had a few waffles for breakfast, and I don’t want to see them come back up over Uncle Dusty’s face.”

Bret giggles—slightly evilly—as if this would be hilarious.

You set your purse down and slip your shoes off, throwing Max a smile.

“How was the troublemaker?”

“The usual amount of trouble,” she tells you.

“So, nowhere near as much as his father. Got it.” 

Your husband walks towards Dustin, ready to scoop your son up out of his grip, but the little boy squeals and dodges his hands.

“Hey,” Eddie pouts, which only makes Bret giggle. “Bret Michael Munson. Are you trying to escape your old man?”

“Yeah!” he replies cheerfully, making Dustin laugh. 

Eddie softly kicks his best friend’s shoulder with his socked foot. 

Across the room, Max accepts the glass of water you hand her.

“How was your afternoon date?” she asks.

“It was fun. The weather’s really nice and I beat Eddie by three points because he couldn’t hit his ball through the little windmill,” you say with a giggle.

“You’re definitely going to have to be the one to teach Bret to play mini golf,” Max says. 

The two of you look over to your son, where he seems to be the object of a game of keep away between Eddie and Dustin. Bret giggles wildly, his face scrunching up in a way that makes the tip of his nose wiggle.

“It’s so crazy how much he looks like you when he scrunches his face like that,” Max says, shaking her head in amazement. 

Bret must’ve caught his aunt’s words because he looks over at the two of you, a tiny furrow between his brows.

“But Mommy’s a girl!” he protests. 

You blow him a kiss and he’s quickly sucked back into whatever game he’s playing with the guys. 

Once Bret is tuckered out from the roughhousing, he plops down on Dustin’s chest and Eddie makes his way over to you. He catches wind of your and Max’s conversation of how your son looks just like the two of you. When Max slips away to grab her things, Eddie places his hands on your hips from behind and rests his chin on your shoulder. 

“Wanna make another one and see if they look more like you or me?”

Just the thought sends a pleasant tingle down your spine.

“You’re on, Munson. Meet me in our room. Nap time.”

“Bret’s or mine?”

A snort of laughter bursts out of you, causing Eddie to smile and only hold onto you tighter. 

[rottenpumpkin13]

You know how moms have photos of their kids that the kids find mortifying, their friends find hilarious and moms find endearing?

What photos does Lazard have of his idiots?

Blackmail Photos On Lazard's Phone

• Sephiroth and Angeal sweeping confetti from the floor after an office party but they're posing like American Gothic, with Sephiroth holding up the broom like the pitchfork.

• The same after party cleanup, this time it's Sephiroth and Angeal beating Genesis with their broomsticks because he wasn't helping.

• Zack holding out his burger, where Sephiroth is taking a bite.

• Sephiroth in the corner of the conference room using Genesis' balled up red coat as a pillow and his hair as an eye mask.

• The First Class trio covered in mud after a mission. Head to toe. They clearly look like they're being forced to stake the picture.

• Minutes later, a photo of Genesis and Sephiroth flinging mud at each other while Angeal yells at them.

• Angeal mid-fall as the chair he had been teetering on finally tipped back. Lazard had been warning him he would fall, but Angeal didn't listen.

• Sephiroth with a failed merchandise prototype that's a plushie of Genesis, but it doesn't have eyebrows. Sephiroth is holding it like a trophy.

• Zack changing a lightbulb on Angeal's shoulder. Sephiroth and Genesis thought the pose looked cool, so Genesis can be seen on Sephiroth's shoulders in the background, except he's falling so he's just a blur of red.

• A shame photo he took of Angeal sweeping up the dirt he tracked into the 49th floor after purchasing yet another office plant.

• A photo of Genesis taken at 4:15 AM, where he's wearing sunglasses and holding a cup of coffee. His coat is inside out.

• Sephiroth at lunch with ketchup all over his chest after the ketchup bottle nozzle broke and squirted everywhere. Zack's hand can be seen dipping a fry into Sephiroth's chest.

• An unflattering photo of Genesis mid-yawn. Angeal and Sephiroth are beside him, Angeal is holding up a piece of Sephiroth's hair so it looks like Genesis is about to eat it.

• Sephiroth having an existential crisis inside a giant cardboard box, except only his eyes are visible, reminiscent of a hippo partially underwater.

• Zack standing in front of a PowerPoint presentation where one slide is just the word "ASS" on screen. He's doing a thumbs up.

• A followup photo of Zack lowering his head in shame, "ASS" still visible on the PowerPoint behind him. Angeal and Sephiroth are arguing in the photo over wether or not Zack should be allowed to spell "ASS" on an official PowerPoint presentation.

• A photo of Genesis laying on the couch in the break room, except it's zoomed in to see what's on his screen. Genesis is in the process of looking up "Sephiroth x Genesis fanfiction enemies to lovers slow burn" online.

• Zack, but his head is through a wall after he ran into it. Lazard actually took this photo to show upper management that they need to do some remodeling.

• Someone organized the letter magnets in the break room fridge to read "Fuck bitches get money" and Sephiroth is standing in front of it, doing a thumbs up.

• Angeal in the process of pouring a beer into a bowl of cereal instead of milk. What makes this photo funny is Zack sobbing in the background as he watches this.

• Genesis but he's just a red blur of motion mid-slip, the wet floor sign in full view.

• Cloud standing outside Genesis' office holding a cardboard sign that reads "PRAY FOR GENESIS. NOTHING HAPPENED TO HIM, HE'S JUST A CUNT."

• A shame photo he made Genesis, Angeal and Sephiroth take, where they're crossing out the "This department has gone 15 days without a Jenga-related fight."

• Another shame photo of Sephiroth who's sitting on the floor with his head in his hands, his fallen bowl of splattered ramen on the floor beside him.

• Genesis mid-mental breakdown, curled into a ball on the floor in his office, where they pranked him by filling it with cardboard cutouts of Sephiroth.

• Cloud Strife (in his infantry uniform) posing next to his employee of the month photo. Yes, this was on the SOLDIER floor.

[shadesoflsk]

OLDER LEON HEADCANONS

pairing: older!Leon x gn!reader.

warnings:  age gap implied, fluff, no explicit nsfw, basically Leon being an old man.

After retiring, you thought Leon would use his free time to sleep more. After all, he has served the country for more than twenty years. But you always find yourself on an empty bed with no signs of your partner being in the room.

Leon religiously wakes up at 6 o’clock. No matter if it is a rainy Sunday morning. He says he wants to see the news, but he falls asleep pathetically fast as soon as he hits the couch. Sometimes, holding a mug that has been replaced several times. Old man can’t understand that if he falls asleep, all of his body does too. No… you’re not the one who is spilling coffee all over the rug. Why the hell would you do that?

Talking about mugs, he has an obsession with them. Since most of his own “magically” break, he has a whole ass collection. “Best dad ever,” says one. He has no child but he thinks it’s funny as hell. It isn’t, you tell him. “You don’t get me”, he responds back with a roll of his eyes and a grunt as he sits down.

You may have lied about something. You’re guilty for breaking one of his beloved mugs. However, it wasn't your fault. You were in charge of doing the dishes that day, Leon was comfortably laying on the couch, playing candy crush at full volume. He wasn’t deaf… not at all yet it seems that hearing “tasty” every time he swipes on a candy is fucking hilarious. What your poor heart didn’t expect was Leon sneezing so hard that God may have heard him. Your heart dropped, and so did his beloved mug. Shattering in pieces as soon as it hit the floor. 

He doesn't mind your youthful behavior. The generational differences didn’t seem so big when you two were in love. You love going out, drinking and dancing. He does too, he swears. But for him, nothing is better than a little trip to the supermarket. 

He loves comparing prices. Why the hell has the jar of pickles’ price risen? “No babe you don’t understand, it shouldn't be so expensive.” He tries reasoning with you with no avail since you get the damn jar and place it in the basket. That same jar of pickles would be the cause of one embarrassing moment with Leon.

Leon takes pride in his humor. He’s funny, he’s hilarious, and he deserves a spot on stand-up comedy night. Or at least he thinks so. You were at the cashier as the employee did his job. His actions, though, were interrupted when the code from the product couldn’t be scanned. “Please Lord… don’t make him say it.” You think to yourself as Leon watches the scene developing. Time seems to slow down as you see his lips moving. “Must be free then.” He laughs as if it was the funniest thing he ever said. 

Leon was a provider, economically and intimately speaking. He loves surprising you, especially when you are busy with something else. Are you doing laundry? No, that can’t be. You were unexpectedly attacked with wet kisses on your neck, his breath caressing you from behind as he whispered sweet nothings against your ear. Years made him a needy man but God he loves your scent. As his hands were holding your waist, you decided to turn around and kiss him better. When you did, your eyes traveled from his blue orbs, to his lips, to the moles adorning his neck and throat, to his broad chest, to his waist, to his… Why the hell is he wearing crocs with socks? You didn’t expect to be turned off almost immediately. 

You often find yourself looking for Leon in your apartment. Sometimes you would find him watching TV or playing with you guys’ dog. “Have you seen your dad?” You pet the golden retriever on its back. It obviously doesn’t respond back, but by the way its eyes are glued to the door that leads to the garden, you assume Leon has to be there. 

Eventually, you found him there. You have to hold back a giggle as you observe him with the classical dad stance. Hands glued to his hips as he watches the sky. “Is God trying to send you a message?” You lean against the door frame with a teasing look on your face. “No, but I know for a fact that it’s going to rain.” Leon quietly replied as his eyes remained focused on the now cloudy sky.

Texting Leon was… something else. Don’t misunderstand him, he worships the ground you walk on but texting him was like talking to a wall. You could be in a life or death situation and Leon’s answer would be a thumbs up. Or when he’s finally typing something? It’s all in caps.

“DARLING I'M AT THE STORE DO YOU NEED ANYTHING?” Why is he yelling? What point is he trying to make?

“OK BABE CALL ME IF ANYTHING HAPPENS.” He continues yelling.

“LOVE YOU.”

“😃👍” Those emojis…

He has a buddy. He has many buddies. He loves helping, or rather he loves watching someone else struggling. Not in a bad way, really. His life as an agent made him dependent on the feeling of being useful. One day, someone’s car broke down right in front of your home. He took this opportunity to be the good citizen that he is. “My buddy Chris would surely know what to do…” Leon mumbles after thirty minutes of trying to help this poor man with his car. 

Overall, you love this old man of yours. He’s the sweetest partner you’ve ever had. You can always lean on him whenever you need someone to take care of all of your problems. He loves you and definitely loves showing you off as the romantic partner he is. Dates are a must every weekend, dressing all pretty and fancy to eat some dinner at a place which name you don’t remember. However… you could never escape his dad’s jokes.

“What’s the damage?” he asks the waiter as he pulls out his wallet. God you love him.

[lucvly]

— christmas headcannons with chris. ⸰ 𖥔 ͙

warnings: fluff, cursing, mentions of sex, not proofread as always.

a/n: this is soo self indulgent help !! i love christmas fr.

— he’ll act like he literally doesn’t give a shit about christmas but on december 1 he’s already staying up late thinking about what he’s gonna give you.

— i don’t even wanna hear discourse about this but this man acts like a child around the holidays. he’ll enjoy december like he’s a 10 year old child who still thinks santa’s real.

— my man is quick to hang up those lights. it’ll deadass be mid november and he’s already asking you when you’re gonna decorate because he wants to help you.

— gingerbread house making is a must. he loves it. you do it at least three times in december because it’s by far one of his favorite traditions. of course he ends up building something that doesn’t look nearly close to a house but A for effort.

— you get matching ugly sweaters obviously. it’s your job to get them every year, and they progressively get worse. chris always complains about how itchy they are LMFAOO.

— baking christmas cookies with him is such a chore for real. you can’t even let him open the flour because it either ends up all on the floor, or on your face. don’t even ask him how to preheat the oven because those cookies will end up burnt.

— most times you have to make three or four batches of cookies because the first batch turns out awful, the second one: burnt.

— once your relationship gets really serious, you two make christmas cards and send them to your close family and relatives. it’s corny, sure, but you both love doing it.

— once every year, you go with him and his brothers for a late night drive just to see how people decorated around the neighborhood. chris always ends up falling asleep on your shoulder in the backseat while nick is yelling about how the lights should’ve been hung higher or how the reindeer is out of place.

— you best believe you’re writing letters to santa. it’s unserious but chris loves doing it, especially because he gets to write something along the lines of: “santa, all i want for christmas is my girlfriend under the tree. thx. — C” LMFAOOAOA sorry.

— you’re absolutely making matching ornaments. they have your initials on them it’s adorable. though decorating them is painful as hell because chris always ends up throwing glitter at you.

— takes elf on the shelf so serious like calm down!!! he better not catch anyone laying a finger on that dumbass elf or he’ll go absolutely insane.

— going christmas shopping with him is adorable. he gets so excited over what to get his brothers and his parents AWW, and he also gets a present for trevor obviously.

— you are never gonna know what that man gets you for christmas. he hides it so well it surprises you each year to be honest. you’re out here thinking he didn’t even get you a present and he’s already packing up at least three.

— definitely an expensive gift type of boyfriend, i’m talking tiffany necklaces, chanel bags, dior, ysl. and he doesn’t even care because seeing you happy makes him 10 times happier. (“baby, you didn’t have to– oh my god.” “i know, but i wanted to. you deserve it.”)

— of course you also get him cute and expensive gifts but you could seriously give him a rock and he’d cherish it as if you just gave him a gold bar.

— you two will absolutely watch christmas movies together, especially romcoms. he loves christmas romcoms LMFAOO. he’s the type to complain about the main character idc.

— he hangs up a mistletoe on his door just so he can tease you and give you a kiss every time you walk into his room. (“look, mistletoe, you gotta kiss me.” “chris i swear to god.”)

— christmas dinners are hilarious bye. he’ll deadass be eating 3 or 4 plates with no shame at all. you’re staring at him in disbelief and he just looks at you with his mouth full like “😊”. at least he’s happy LMFAOO.

— he gives you at least three presents. the first one is marked “from: santa, to: y/n” obviously you know it’s him LMFAO he thinks it’s cute and you just leave him be. second one is marked “from: chris, to: his girlfriend.” as if he wasn’t the one marking up those presents BYE. third one is “from: the best boyfriend ever, to: the prettiest girl.” he’s so cute somebody sedate me !!

— one hundred percent asks nick and matt to figure out what you got him for christmas. you’ve figured this out over the years so you don’t even give them hints anymore LMAOO.

— the worst jokes over the holidays seriously. (“hold on. babe, which cooking seasoning is the most festive?” “chris–” “christmas thyme.”) he needs to be stopped lord have mercy.

— secretly loves decorating. he’ll decorate with you all day fr. ornaments, mistletoes, the tree in general is his favorite. he cannot deal with putting up lights though. it pisses him off so badly– (only because he ends up tangled in them).

— i just know he makes hot chocolate with water. nuh uh. you had to teach him the correct way (with milk) because it was seriously getting on your nerves LMAO.

— he gets so lovey dovey over the holidays. he’s also horny 24/7 but that’s completely besides the point HELP. hands around your waist, arm around your shoulder, hand holding, everything.

— matching pjs YUP. he loves matching christmas outfits with you LMAO especially pjs. y’all have like four matching pj sets every year it’s so cute.

[hazbinshusk]

Hi- I don’t know if you take requests so if you don’t please just ignore this lol- but todays my birthday and I was just wondering if I could request a blitz x reader where he spends times with them or something for their birthday? Maybe they’re not having a great day so far or like their other friends forgot about their bday so he comes over and cheers them up or something?

hi, I'm so sorry I didn't get this done on the day, but I hope you had a good birthday :) and I hope you'll still enjoy a bit of birthday comfort from our boy blitzø ❤️

You start as you suddenly hear a crash come from your bedroom, jerking up from where you were laying curled up on the couch as the sound is followed by a string of curses. You grab the remote and hit pause as you stand, making your way cautiously to the bedroom door. You jump as it swings open just as you reach for the knob.

“What kind of asshole keeps their CDs under their window?” Blitzø demands as he shakes splintered plastic from the sleeve of his jacket.

“Blitzø?!” you say in surprise. “The fuck are you—I have a door!”

He shrugs, and you try not to cringe at the broken rack and the CD cases now littering your floor. You wonder just how many of them are now broken. “Window was closer.”

“And locked.”

He just winks at you by way of response. You suppose you should just be happy he didn’t break that too.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was bored,” he tells you like it’s obvious, stepping around you and heading over to the couch. You watch him throw himself back onto it, slouching against the backrest in a comfortable position. He leans forward long enough to swipe the can of soda you’d left on the coffee table, gulping down what was left of it. Blitzø claps his hands, rubbing then together. “So, what are we watching?”

“I…” you stand there for a moment, blinking as your mind catches up with what just happened. Turning around, you run a hand through your hair before gesturing to the TV. “I, uh… I was just starting The Evil Dead.”

“Hah! That movie’s hilarious!” he turns his head to look at you as you come to a stop at the side of the couch. Raising a brow, he pats the cushion beside him. “So? We watching this thing or not?”

* * *

You’re halfway through Army of Darkness before you realize you’re not really paying attention to the television anymore. Blitzø has been boisterously enjoying every gory moment of the films, commenting on whether or not its at all realistic. He got up about an hour in to raid your fridge, and when he’d returned to sit splay-legged on the couch, he’d surprised you by taking hold of you arm and tugging you against him.

“What’re you doing?”

“It’s a fuckin’ horror movie, sweets.” he replies, again like its obvious. “How am I supposed to protect you from the zombies if you’re all the fuck way over there?”

You’d curled up obediently beside him despite your shock at the sudden change, resting your head against his chest hesitantly. “If you’re scared, B, you can just say that.”

He snickers, and now he has his arm wrapped around your shoulders, his tail twitching back and forth against your thigh. You can feel his chin resting against the crown of your head, his breath tickling your hair as you feel his chest rise and fall, slow and steady.

Your knees are tucked over his thigh, and Blitzø hums an exhale as you tentatively bring your hand up to slide over his stomach. You can swear it sounds like he’s smiling as your fingers curl around to rest against his hip. And after a while, barely audible over the sound of the film still playing on your TV, you can hear Blitzø start to purr.

* * *

You’re still wrapped up under his arm when you wake up hours later, the only light in the room given by the menu screen of Army of Darkness. Your hand had slipped from his waist to rest on his thigh, and you felt his hand covering yours.

He is still purring steadily, the low rumble sending a warmth into your chest. You shift slightly against him, and Blitzø lets out a soft whine as you move against him.

“Don’t…” he murmurs, and you raise your eyes to see that his are still closed, a light furrow between his brows. “Don’t move. ‘m sleepin’.”

A small smile touches your lips, and you squeeze his thigh gently. “Blitzø?”

He groans, turning his head from where it rests against the back of the couch to smoosh his cheek against your hair. “What?”

“…Why are you here?”

His eyes open, and he blinks unevenly down at you. He stiffens slightly, and you realize too late that he’s taken the wrong meaning from your question. You can already feel him sitting up, pushing you away. “You want me to go?”

“No!” you say quickly, straightening to meet his eye. “No, I don’t. I just… you broke into my house to watch a movie because you’re bored?”

He shrugs a shoulder, avoiding your eye.

“Blitzø…”

He sighs, almost irritated at being questioned. “Satan’s balls, alright already. I didn’t think you should be alone, okay? I mean, shit, you try to do a nice thing for someone’s birthday and they go and—”

“You remembered my birthday?” you interrupt, shocked.

Blitzø stops mid-rant, raising an eyebrow at you. “The fuck is that so surprising for?”

You breathe a laugh, still floored. “I really never know what to expect from you, B.”

His expression into a smile that mirrors you own, and you swear you can see color staining his scarred cheek. “Damn fuckin’ right you don’t.” he slumps back against the couch cushions again, holding out his arm to you and pointing to his chest. “So, you gonna get back over here or what?”

Your smile widens and your face warms, and Blitzø truly grins as you settle back into his arms.

“Thank you. For coming, I mean.”

Blitzø hums, and you could almost believe that you feel him press his lips against your hair. “Happy birthday, baby.”

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

helloooo!! I absolutely adore your works puts me to sleep with a great bag ass smile on my face! Can you please write about the moon boys where the reader is a complete bimbo/ fashion fanatic showing off her newly bought clothes and accessories to them

I hope this is okay! I'm not so good with bimbo reader, so this is a lot more like reader that likes fashion. <3

Moon Boys x gn!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • buy me a coffee? • ask-travaganza masterlist •

Warnings: Fluff, silliness, a little mention of masturbating in (semi)public, not beta read, please let me know if I have missed a warning!

Word Count: 712

Steven Grant

Is super interested in your love of fashion because you are interested in it. Literally loves to listen to you talk about it for hours and will not get bored. Asks lots of questions and gets so happy when you excitedly tell him the answers. 

Loves going shopping with you, will give you his honest opinion on everything, even if he disagrees. “That’s awful love.” “I like it.” “Well then get it, of course, it’ll look beautiful on you, but it is hideous.” Pulls faces to make you laugh. The only thing he’ll really grumble about is if you wear clothing that feels bad (sensory wise) for him, but he’ll do it in a jokey way.

“You know where this would look better, love?” “On your bedroom floor?” “No, in the bin.” 

Is happy for you to suggest some clothing choices for him, but he won’t change his style/comfort, he’s very content to be himself. However, he does adore it when you buy him clothing because you always make sure it’s something he would like and it makes his heart so full that you put in so much time and consideration for him. (When he expresses this and you tell him, ‘duh, of course, I love you silly!’ you are getting 1000 kisses. No other option.) 

Really likes it when you try on sexy outfits in changing rooms and send him photos. (This has led to him asking you to touch yourself and send him a video while you do it.)

Marc Spector

Gets a little nervous sometimes if he comes with you shopping in person, this depends on if the shop is very busy/the lights are really bright and overwhelming. It’s difficult to let when he gets overstimulated, because Marc masks a lot and has done so for a very long time. Plus, even if you’ve told him you want him to tell you, he doesn’t want to ruin your fun. 

Also likes it when you buy him clothes, always washes them before he wears them and usually asks you to wear them/lay on them before he puts them on so that they smell like you.

Don’t tell you if he hates something, tries to be so polite, but you can tell because he does a little ‘oh’ face with raised eyebrows before he gets his expression back under control. 

Surprisingly, really loves bright colours. Doesn’t tend to wear them much himself, but is always drawn to them. Really loves whatever personal style you have (bright or dark colours, he doesn’t care, you look amazing no matter what.) and will try really hard to point things out/show you what he thinks you’ll like/fits with your vibe.

Really likes watching shows about fashion with you, gets very invested in The Great British Sewing Bee.

Jake Lockley

Has so much fun going clothes shopping (in person or online) with you and having a massive try on montage. Literally flings the curtains open so dramatically. Will try on anything for the thrill of it. 

Quite often you both have a silly day where you try to dress as each other, this has led to some very realistic interpretations and some utterly chaotic ones. 

If he’s annoyed with you he will find the most eye watering outfit in the universe and wear it, saying ‘It’s the height of fashion’. 

His favourite t-shirt to sleep in is one with grammatically incorrect spanish on it that he found in a charity shop and thought it was hilarious. You cannot get him to part with it for love or money, even though it is falling apart and he has fixed it many times. (You don’t actually want him to get rid of it, but it’s become a fun little teasing game both of you play with each other.)

I’ve said many times that I headcanon Jake as a knitter, (because he is (joking)), I think he would happily knit with you/teach you if you wanted/didn’t know how to. He’ll also happily make you lots of clothes and accessories as gifts. However, it took him a long, long time to ever make and give you a jumper because of the knitter's curse and he just got so paranoid about it.

Thank you for reading!

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[jaidens]

idrk if u still do outsiders stuff 😕 but if u do can you please do a dallas winston x reader fic where reader has a younger sibling that annoys them when they’re together 🙏🙏

miss americana & the heartbreak prince !

pairing [s] : dallas winston x reader

warning [s] : hey outsiders.. 😞

a/n [s] : ty for the request!!

KNOCK! KNOCK!

The pattering noise against your door makes you moan, putting out the cigarette against the ashtray and you answer whoever is behind it. Your little sister pokes her head inside, a mischievous grin across her face. Dallas greets her as he saunters into your room, muscles stretching through his white tank.

It had been known to you that your little sister, Dorothea, had an insignificant crush against your boyfriend. It was quite hilarious— watching her kiss his cheeks and cuddle up into him. Even though when he would leave, it was all fight and no play.

“Hey sweetheart,” The New York accent rings within his words, but your sister kicks her feet and hugs Dallas in her small arms. “How have you been?” She pulls away from him and smiles, her two front teeth missing are adorable, and you laugh at her.

“I’ve been good! I got an A on my project about flamingos! Did you know that they aren't always pink—” She's cut off when you chuck a shirt at her doll, hitting the pink ribbons that are tied in small bows around her hair. Her expression turns from happiness to immediate anger when her doll falls against the floor.

Dallas turns his head at you and you swear they have identical expressions of ‘why did you do that?’. “Why did you do that? You hurt Betty!”

Dallas looks even more offended than her, picking up Betty and gently dropping her in Dorothea’s arms. He stands up, pats her head, and walks over to you. Within a second, Dorothea follows Dallas to your bed. He lays down next to you and kisses you. “Move over!” Dorothea screeches and pushes in-between you and your boyfriend. Inherently, she's closer to Dallas and she lets him tickle her sides.

“Get out Dora! Leave me and Dal alone.” You snap at her and she sticks her tongue out at you, waving her hands in the air. “Shoo!” You say once more, slapping her side. She stands up and walks away, slamming the door behind her.

You and Dallas are finally alone, as you watch him puff on a cigarette while telling you a story about something that had apparently happened at Buck’s earlier that day. You're running your finger down his chest. You're cuddled up with him when you hear another obnoxious knock. “Mommy said you have to let me stay with you guys!” Dorothea yells through the crack of your door. You roll your eyes and Dallas puts out his cigarette once more.

She's crying outside of your door and Dallas can't help but not to laugh. His arm wraps around you and pulls you into his shoulder. He kisses your forehead and pulls you close. You're relaxed then once again, your name is screeched. “C’mon! Let me in!”

“Nope! Goodbye!”

[reythenerdypisces]

things that I overlooked in PJO the first time / small, funny things I noticed during my reread

Part 2: Sea of Monsters

there is a lot this time.

this book is so short and it makes up for the length by being hilarious: 

I had nightmares about what Poseidon might turn me into if I were ever on the verge of death - plankton, maybe. Or a floating patch of kelp.

Tyson froze. "Pony!" he cried in total rapture. Chiron turned looking offended. "I beg your pardon?" 

"Um..." I said. "Would this be the super-dangerous prophecy that has me in it, but the gods have forbidden you to tell me about it? Nobody answered. "Right," I muttered. "Just checking." 

"Uh, I like Hercules." "Why?" "Well, because he had rotten luck. Even worse than mine. It makes me feel better."

Annabeth looked at me. "We have to get out of here." "You think I want to be in the girls' restroom?" "I mean the ship, Percy! We have to get off the ship."

Tyson was terrified of them. All throughout the tour, he insisted Annabeth hold his hand, which she didn't look too thrilled about.

"Then why do the gods even let me live? It would be safer to kill me." "You're right." "Thanks a lot." 

A minute later, Annabeth hit a slippery patch of moss and her foot slipped. Fortunately, she found something else to put it against. Unfortunately, that something was my face. 

As Luke was raising his sword to rally his troops, a centaur shot a custom-made arrow with a leather boxing glove on the end. It smacked Luke in the face and sent him crashing into the swimming pool. and a few moments later: He [Luke] raised his sword, but got smacked in the face with another boxing glove arrow, and sat down hard in a deck chair. Luke can't catch a break from those boxing arrows, it's the funniest thing

2. also so much baby percabeth!! they’re so cute

She'd [Annabeth] emailed me the picture after spring break, and every once in a while I'd look at it just to remind myself she was real and Camp Half-Blood hadn't just been in my imagination. the fact that he printed out Annabeth's photo? 

Annabeth punched him in the nose and knocked him flat, "And you," she told him, "lay off my friend." her standing up for Percy is adorable

I mean she [Annabeth] looked good. Really good. I probably would've been tongue-tied if I could say anything except reet, reet, reet.

She [Annabeth] started to sob - I mean horrible, heartbroken sobbing. She put her head on my shoulder and I held her. Fish gathered to look at us - a school of barracudas, some curious marlins. Scram! I told them. They swam off, but I could tell they went reluctantly. I swear I understood their intentions. They were about to start rumours flying around the sea about the son of Poseidon and some girl at the bottom of Siren Bay. number 1. the way percy is always there for her, number 2. the gossiping fish?? I love it

The look in his [Grover] eyes told me something was terribly wrong. Annabeth had been on guard duty that night, protecting the Fleece. If something had happened -he’s admirably protective, of not just annabeth, but all his friends and I love to see it… exhibit b:

"But if I [Grover] get in trouble again, you'll be in danger, Percy! You could die!" "If you get in trouble again, I want to know about it. And I'll come help you again G-man. I wouldn't have it any other way." I adore their friendship.

3. other mentions: 

"I'm Thalia," the girl said. "Daughter of Zeus." what. an. ending. I still remember how floored I was when I first read this wow

the mention of Hylla got me so excited

am I the only one who forgot Percy could control the sailboat? like the flying ropes and whatnot

I also completely forgot about his watch shield! 

I'll be back for part 3 shortly! :)

[thisapplepielife]

Written for the @steddiemicrofic July challenge.

Pretty Amazing

July Prompt: One | Word Count: 1,111 | Rating: T | CW: Language, Past Loss of Parent | Tags: Established Relationship, Parenthood, Passing Down Heirlooms, Slice of Life, Domestic and Soft

"What are you looking for, exactly?" Steve asks, slightly swaying with Ellie tucked in his arm. He looks good like that, holding a baby, and Eddie stops and looks at him for a second. They really have a baby. 

He's staring at Steve in a daze, "Eddie?"

That shakes him out of it.

"A book," Eddie finally answers, as he starts digging through the boxes again. He was sure it was here, thinks he saw it before they left Hawkins, all those years ago. He thinks he remembers packing it, since it's one of the few things he has left from his mom. Something she made, just for him.

But he's not sure if he's seen it since they moved.

He just put it away for safekeeping and now he can't fucking find it. Maybe it's still at Wayne's. That would make sense, he supposes. 

"What kind of book?" Steve asks, "Do you want me to put her down and help you look?"

"No!" Eddie says quickly, he doesn't want that. He wants Steve to hold her forever. He'll find it. Or he won't. But Steve should keep doing exactly what he is, until the end of time.

Eddie looks back at them, and smiles, "It's a book my mom made for me. I want Ellie to have it."

Steve laughs, his eyes crinkling, "Honey, she's a week old."

"One week, and two days," Eddie corrects, and Steve laughs again. He's so fucking happy, they both are. It had taken a long time, and a lot of heartache, but she's finally here. Beyond perfect, and worth the wait.

"One week, and two days," Steve concedes. 

Eddie goes back to looking, as Steve and Ellie watch him from the doorway. Well, Steve watches. Ellie's sleeping, missing her dad searching through boxes like a crazy person.

He finally finds it in the last place he looks. Wrapped in tissue paper, bubble wrapped, and then wrapped in a t-shirt he thought he'd lost on their road trip, since he hasn't seen it in forever. Apparently it's right here, being used as packing.

A little overkill, maybe, for a fabric book.

But it's safe, right in his hands. 

"Found it!" he yells, and Steve shows up in the doorway, Ellie still sleeping in his arms.

Eddie takes it out to the coffee table and lays it down. It's a little dingy, a little worn, but it was his, and now it'll be hers. 

"Show us," Steve says, and Eddie does. He opens the cover of the thick book and is greeted with his name in felted bubble letters. Maybe he can cut out two Ls to match, and cover up the Ds, so it has her name instead? He has time to figure that out.

But he flips through the pages.

"I googled it. It's called a quiet book," Eddie explains. 

There's a plastic button sewn to the page, with a pocket that goes over it, where you can push the button through the buttonhole, over and over again. 

On another page, there's a felted grandfather clock, with a little mouse running up the side, and moveable hands you can turn to set the time. 

A felt shoe, with attached laces, waiting to be tied into a bow.

A zipper, on a little tent in the woods. A bear lurking behind the trees.

Page after page of things that his mother made with her own two hands, just for him to learn from.

"This is amazing," Steve says.

"Yeah, it's to, like, teach dexterity?" he says, voice lilting up at the end, like that's a question.

"No, well, yes," Steve says, "but it's amazing because your mom made it for you and now Ellie can learn from it, too."

Eddie swallows. Yeah. That is pretty amazing.

Five years later

"One, two, buckle my shoe," Ellie says from the floor, as she works the strap through the large buckle sewn onto the page of the quiet book. 

Eddie watches her from the kitchen, cup of coffee in his hand before he heads out to work. She's so smart. And weird, and hilarious. He watches her talk to herself as she flips the pages, doing some of the activities, skipping others. 

Steve's washing the breakfast dishes at the sink as she's matching shapes to stitched outlines, attaching them with velcro. 

"What shape is that?" Eddie asks, and she turns to look at him, like he's an idiot.

She holds it up in the air, "A square."

"Really? I thought it was a circle," he says and she huffs at him, going back to her book.

Moving on to snapping and unsnapping the buttons of a little felt raincoat.

Then, moving notes up and down a scale, pressing the velcro into the felt, "F-A-C-E. Face," she says.

He knows she's just memorized that, doesn't really understand that it's a music scale with notes, but hey, maybe someday she'll have a head start. 

They had to replace some of the velcro, and a few long-lost pieces of felt, but for being over forty years old, it looks pretty damn good.

She turns to the next page, and there's the clock. He walks over and squats down behind her, and reaches over her shoulder to turn the little hand to the one, and the big hand to the six.

"One-thirty," she says, before he can even ask.

Holy shit, that's new. He was expecting her usual one-six.

Steve can read his mind, has always been able to, and says from behind him, "She figured that out yesterday." 

Eddie turns and smiles, then he nudges the little hand again.

"One-thirty-seven, stop, it's time for the next page," she scolds, and turns the page on his fingers.

He laughs, but lets her move onto the next one. The shoelaces. She hasn't gotten this one yet, and it makes her mad, so she usually skips past it.

Eddie goes over to watch next to Steve, as he's leaning against the counter. He's gotta go, and soon, but he has a few more minutes.

"Daddy has to go to work at seven-fifteen," Steve says, and Ellie heaves a sigh that is far too exasperated for someone her age, but she flips the page back and turns the clock with her little fingers. 

Then looks over at them, expectantly. Eddie walks over, and checks, and sure enough.

"You've got it! And that's my cue, girlie," he says, dropping a kiss to the top of her head, then walks over and kisses Steve goodbye. 

"Learn to tie that shoe," Eddie teases, as she's fumbling with the laces, trying. 

He knows she'll figure it out, and soon. 

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddiemicrofic and follow along with the fun! ❤️

Notes: If you're curious about what these books are, google "felt quiet book" and you should get several good examples.

[peachesofteal]

That Ghost x Soap with their daughter art has me seriously fucked up (thanks @ethereal-night-fairy)

I can't stop thinking about Soap and Ghost trying to raise Bee on their own in the disco baby au after this ask from @mockerycrow.

Those first few nights when they're completely blindsided. Simon in a full blown shut down because he cannot process anything that's happening, emotions running him over at full speed because he's terrified of being a Dad, he's terrified of ruining a child, he's terrified of becoming his own Dad, he's terrified of not being good enough. He's afraid that Bee will grow up with a target on her back, that she will end up in danger or worse because of their profession. And he can't stop thinking about you. He can't stop thinking about how all they were trying to do was protect you when they left, how all they wanted was for you to be okay, to not have to wait, to not have to be emotionally tortured for how ever long they were going to be gone. How they didn't want you to have to bury them. He can't stop thinking about how he failed you. How he promised you he'd always take care of you, that they'd always be here, and when you needed it the most, they made decision to leave you. He cannot forgive himself. The thought that they did it to better your life has long gone out the window. He hires a PI to try to find you, with zero luck.

Johnny is the opposite of a shut down. He's in a free fall. He's feeling everything, all at once. He runs out onto the street after they read the note, sprinting down the block, searching every face for you. He holds Bee for the first time when he comes back, taking her out of the carrier because she's sitting in it, on the kitchen table while Simon stands three feet away, staring at her with his arms crossed. She's fussing, and Simon is frozen, and Johnny doesn't know what do so he just, holds her. He rocks her. He sings to her. It all comes somewhat naturally to him. He fluctuates between heartbreak and anger. He tortures himself by staring at Bee sleeping in her crib at night just so he can see something that somewhat resembles your face. He cries himself to sleep. He dreams about you. Simon overhears him telling Bee stories about you at bedtime, or bath time or meal times. Johnny tells Bee about how beautiful you are, how sweet and kind you are. He tells Bee how much they loved you, how they wished they had been there, how they made a really big mistake. Johnny scoops baby food into Bee's mouth, all while explaining to her that you worked at an art museum, and loved to paint. He describes your paintings to her at bath time, and puts Bee to sleep trying to hum lullabies of your favorite songs.

Time passes. They find Bee's medical records, they get her chart from the day she was born. She was three months old, when you left her at their doorstep. They read the physician's notes, about how Mum was alone, how Mum was given a long list of support resources for PPD. Johnny is distraught. Simon fears the worst.

Simon retires early, so he can be at home full time. There's a ceremony, small. Gaz and Price are there, along with Johnny and Bee, who watches her Dad accept some honor medal that he doesn't care about from a man in a fancy uniform. Simon lets her chew on it the whole way home, which Johnny hems and haws about, but Simon doesn't care. He doesn't need some shiny piece of metal. He has almost everything he wants or needs in life. Almost.

Simon learns how to be a Dad, and he becomes a pretty good one at that. He's the first one to make Bee giggle, one night after a nappy change and getting her into bedtime clothes, when he's letting her lay on the floor for her usual tummy time, and he groans when he gets down on his knees. She thinks it's hilarious, and he spends the next half an hour doing it over and over again, exaggerating the sound of his old knees just to see her face light up.

Johnny is a natural. He just already knows how to do it all. He's not nervous when he holds Bee, he's easy with it. Cradles her every which way, gets her to fall asleep anywhere. He can tell the difference between her hungry cry, her full nappy cry, her "I'm having feelings but I have no words" cry.

Bee gets croup right after she turns six months. Simon has a panic attack over it, and they both lay on the bathroom floor with her while it fills with steam, counting each breath her little lungs take.

Bee turns one. They have a birthday party. It's another small affair, but Price and Gaz come, along with a few others that live relatively close. She spends half the day curled up on Uncle Gaz because she cries ridiculously every time Johnny or Simon try to pull her away. Gaz gloats about it to Price non stop. They sing happy birthday, the guys "help" blow her candles out, and everyone watches Bee smash a vanilla cake overzealously and try to stuff as much of it into her mouth as possible. Price films the entire thing for Laswell.

Simon's phone rings, right after the cake. It's set to vibrate, and it startles him from his back pocket. When he glances at it, it's a number he doesn't recognize, which is even more strange. He moves away to accept the call, and Johnny gives him an odd look, but Simon waves him off. No sense in worrying him.

When he presses it to his ear and says hello, there's a sharp intake of breath... and then your voice. Saying his name.

"Simon?"

[beanghostprincess]

the fact we have essentially given buggy an army of young women with issues to assign him gay uncle is hilarious, it's just uta perona pudding and alvida in his tent in his huge bed overstuffed with pillows doing each other's nails and complaining about inconsequential shit. Marines try to invade and they get fought off effortlessly because the girls were annoyed it interrupted their girl night. Crocodile passes by the tent once, hears girlish giggles as uta lays down her 15th murder plot idea for her dad that she won't really go through and leaves as fast as he can. sometimes Mihawk joins them because perona likes bullying him into doing her nails and pudding pulls out the desert wine and the strawberry cream cakes for the occasion. Alvida filmed the two of them (Mihawk and Buggy) engaging in an intense ddr/just dance,/whatever one piece equivalent exists battle as the girls around them cheered and hollered and sent it anonymously to the red-haired pirates for Shanks, who watched it so much the tape was worn out.

Look, I don't know how to explain it but Cross Guild needs more women because they just have this energy of preferring them because they're more polite. Like- I am 100% sure Crocodile and Mihawk like women more because they're way scarier than men but in a respectful passive-aggressive way they love? And Buggy likes them because they're flashy and they're even more feral than men, they just don't see it. Perona, Pudding, Uta, and Alvida are the perfect mix for them. Feral but sweet and respectful to their friends. They're painting each other's nails while plotting how to violently murder somebody. It's perfect. If a dude comes to bother them he'll end up dead and Cross Guild will be proud of their behavior but "please don't stain the floor with blood because we know you're not cleaning and it's bothersome to do it" because Mihawk is obsessed with having the place all clean and tidy and he might have a heart attack if he sees Perona and Uta's room. They're their princesses and they protect them except that they do not need any protection, they just don't like doing the dirty work. If somebody says something along the lines of "oh, so you need your three big men to take care of you" the four girls are gonna end up brutally murdering everyone that crosses them. Perona and Uta immobilize them or turn them crazy while Pudding and Alvida are like *grabs revolver* "Those three men need either powers or a big big sword to end you. I only need one bullet, loser". Cross Guild just lets them do whatever they want.

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

AO3 is down and so is my Wi-Fi so I’m writing Nimona headcanons to cope

When Nimona is in a bad mood she usually wants attention and affection so she’ll shift into her cat form and sit on Bal and Ambrosius 

She knows they would never move her even when she’s in her human form but she feels like being a cat is just a bonus 

The first time she sat on Ambrosius' shoulders when she was in a bad mood he cried for like three hours 

When Bal has a bad day he goes nonverbal and collapses on the nearest comfy area 

He doesn’t care if it’s his bed the couch or a pillow on the floor he’s laying their face first and not moving until he feels better

It’s not uncommon for him to come home and just plop down on the couch even when Nimona and Ambrosius are sitting there

And they won't move him either they kind of just accept their fate and continue what they were doing to the best of their abilities 

When Ambrosius has a bad day he cleans 

Like obsessively 

He won’t stop until every surface in the house is spotless and there isn’t a single dust particle in sight 

The only room that he stays out of is Nimona’s (half out of respect for them half out of fear of what he would find in that room)

Most of the time when he feels like the house is up to code he’ll be too tired to move let alone think

And that’s when Bal and Nimona set up their super secret evil plan

Bal forces him to get comfy on the couch while Nimona plays his favorite movies and gives him his favorite snacks

It’s truly diabolical but it’s also what Amrbosius does for them when they’re in a bad mood so they feel no guilt  

Sometimes when he’s feeling especially shitty Nimona will shift into a dog and let him cuddle them like a big stuffed animal

So I was just reminded sometimes cats will sit on your injuries and purr because they think it makes you feel better (and as a cat owner I can confirm it does)

When I remembered this I was thinking that Nimona would subconsciously shift into a cat and lay on Bal’s arm or Ambrosius' shoulder when they’re in pain and just purr 

And they swear that it helps every single time (kind of like a mom kissing her kid's injuries)

Ambrosius will always use people's full names when he’s pissed at them

I don’t know when this idea popped into my head but I’m just imagining Bal and Nimona chilling outside until they hear “Ballister and Nimona Boldheart get your asses inside now!” from their house

And their neighbors watch as some of the most powerful people in the realm scramble to run inside 

Most people would assume that Nimona would either stay where they are out of spite or fly away  

But they’re so caught off guard because Ambrosius always calls Nimona “Nim”

Plus he’s made Ambrosius mad enough times to know that if he apologizes enough times and makes Bal give him the patented “Puppy Dog Eyes™” he’ll fold like a lawn chair 

Nimona calls Ambrosius “nemesis” for two reasons 

The first one is he thinks his name is stupidly long (and Ambrosius agrees) and the second reason is he thinks it sounds cooler (he agrees again)

Plus it’s also hilarious to imagine Nimona yelling “Nemesis” while running full speed at Ambrosius and then tackling him

Sometimes they knock him on his ass and sometimes he picks them up and puts them in air jail

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 88)

Tera was with V and Lizzy, both of which were hanging around in V's apartment, in much, much closer proximity then they ever would be in public. With Lizzy's head laying on V's lap, and V's fingers carding through her long blonde hair, absent of any helmet or bow.

Tera was sitting on her chest, Lizzy playing with her in a gentle kind of way, lifting her hands up and playing with them as if she was a little doll, Tera was mostly fine with this, but she was quickly growing bored of it, wanting instead the gently swaying, glowing object that was the end of V's tail.

“Vee!” She called, lifting her arms up in the dissasembly drones direction, glasses perched in front of her visor as she was trying to watch whatever was on the T.V.

“What is it cub?” She hummed, and she couldn't help the small smile that was creeping up on her face, she had to admit, N and Uzi's little gremlin was cute as hell.

“Play!” Tera replied happily, smiling and showing off her many, sharp little teeth. Lizzy laughed lightly. “Oh am I not good enough for you? Am I boring?”

“Probably, you're treating her like she's going to break into tiny peices babe.” V replied, picking up the toddler into her own hands and grinning as her eyes followed her swaying tail.

“It's not my kid! You know Doorman would throw a fit if her kid got hurt while we were supposed to be watching her.” Lizzy defended, sitting up off her frei- okay yeah; girlfriends lap so she could get up.

“She's not going to get hurt. Watch.” V placed her on the carpeted floor of her living room, sitting down in front of her with her legs crossed. Tera's eyes lit up, and she attempted to stand;

V's and Lizzy’s eyes both grew hollow for a moment as she balanced on both legs, wobbly and unpracticed, she took a step forward and-

Tumbled over, close, but not quite.

“Do you know how pissed they'd be if Tera took her first steps in front of us and not them.” Lizzy laughed, crouched down next to V as Tera made her way towards them, this time crawling.

“Oh my god Uzi would blow a gasket! I almost hope she does, that would be hilarious!” V replied, smiling and laughing as well, until she felt Tera's tiny hands grab her, and she looked down.

She looked fierce- or as fierce as a toddler could get. Snapping her fangs and shoving on V's peg-like leg.

“What is she…?” Lizzy asked, clearly confused.

“She's trying to wrestle with me…” V suddenly realized, obviously, this wouldn't work, Tera was so small she couldn't even budge V's leg, but the attempt was adorable in it's own way, and V's tail began to wag.

Maybe when she was older, and bigger, they could genuinely play fight without V pretending, but for now… she was about to lose some dignity.

She let the little toddler move her leg some, and Tera grinned wildly, climbing up on V's lap and then trying to climb up the rest of her to reach her prize, the shiny, glowy, unbabyproofed tail.

Of course, neither V nor Lizzy were thinking about that yet. Instead, V was pretending to get beaten up by a toddler and Lizzy was watching fondly, giggling.

“Look at her! She's going to be a little tomboy isn't she?”

By the way Tera was mixing both growling and purring, smiling wide as V sprawled out in fake pain, the answer was yes. V began to laugh at the toddlers antics, it was fond, and soft, and Lizzy couldn't help but blush.

“You're being a great aunt V~” She cooed, and V went stiff, blushing a vibrant yellow as she looked back at the worker drone she was so fond of.

“Shut up. No I'm not.” She protests, sitting up, letting Tera tumble off her back with a peel of laughter, she was completely unharmed, even after she hit the floor with a thump.

“Oh come on girl. Don't lie! It's good to see you care about something other then murder.” Lizzy laughed, watching as Tera pounced after V's tail every time it hit the ground, like a lion cub playing with an older member of the pride.

“I care about you.” V mumbled. But Lizzy only allowed herself to blush at that for a moment before moving on.

“And you care about her. V, you're purring!”

V froze, listening to herself. Sure enough, she was. She rarely purred, and yet playing with this little toddler was bringing it out quite naturally, the only other times she purred, it was with Lizzy.

Dammit, she hadn't meant to get so attached to a kid that wasn't even hers, a kid that her initial reaction to was… not great, at best. But either due to her instincts, or the fact that Tera was just so dang cute, or both. She had.

She would throw herself at anything for this kid. Without question or hesitation.

“Fine! You're right! Are you happy? She's my niece! Agh-!” Tera claimed her prize, tiny fangs snapping onto golden nanite canister. V yelped in pain, N wasn't the only one with a sensitive tail.

“Oooh… you alright babe?” Lizzy asked gently, and V's head snapped back in anger, because… ow. Before it softened at the proud look on Tera's face, and sighed.

“Yeah, you got me.” She said softly, bringing her tail up into her lap, so that Tera would fall gently into it, giggling.

“You're my little hunter huh? Aren't you?” V cooed, lifting up her niece near her face; where Tera placed both her little hands on her visor, smiling.

“Vee! Rawr!” Tera laughed, and V felt her core melt into nothing but goo. Leaning back to stare at the ceiling with Tera now hugging the fur on her jacket.

I don't want kids. I don't want kids. I don't want kids.

“Are you okay? Did she break you?” Lizzy asked, her face coming in upside down from V's perspective.

“I'm an aunt. Lizzy… I'm a fucking aunt.”

Lizzy laughed, reaching down to grab both sides of her face.

“And are good with kids. Suffer with that knowledge, killer.”

V groaned, covering her face. Feeling Tera start purring as she laid there, content to stay with her auntie…

Next ->

[morganbritton132]

I adore Eddie falling asleep in front of the live stream and everything that follows

But now I’m also thinking of Steve one day seeing the live stream is still on but he has no idea how to turn it off so he has to ask Chat for help which he has to find first and it just turns into this hilarious quest of Chat trying to explain how to turn it off while Steve barely finds the chat to even read it

This is so painfully in line with this AU’s Steve and I love it so much. It’s perfect.

This time Steve is in the room when Eddie falls asleep, so he’s aware that there is a live-stream going on. He hasn’t been seen on camera, but the audience can hear him when he says, “You know what I’ve been craving?”

Followed by, “Benny’s Burgers. Isn’t that crazy?”

Followed by, “…Ed?”

Followed by, “Oh.”

Because Eddie’s eyes drifted shut ten minutes ago and they have yet to open. You can kinda hear movement and then Steve is wandering into the frame with his hands on his hips. He looks at the camera and frowns at it before he pokes Eddie in the arm, “Ed. Eddie, babe. You left the – the thing going.”

Eddie slumps over a little more and Steve sighs, running his hands through his hair. He doesn’t try to wake Eddie up anymore, just twists him around so he’s laying more comfortably. He throws a blanket over him and then wipes his hands of the whole situation. It is not his problem.

Except that makes him feel bad, so he comes back to the studio.

At first he just sits the phone facedown and leaves again, but he doesn’t like that either. What if Eddie talks in his sleep about the Upside Down (something that he has never done before), or has a bad nightmare, or farts and the whole internet hears it. Steve doesn’t want him to be embarrassed so, “It’s not rocket science, Harrington. Let’s figure this out.”

It might be rocket science.

For the audience at home, they get to experience Steve Harrington up close and personal because Steve is (1) not wearing his glasses and (2) cannot figure out how to end the stream. He keeps tapping at the screen, looking more and more annoyed as he does it, and then he stands up and walks out of the room.

Steve puts the phone on the coffee table in the living room, and then leaves again. After another five minutes, he comes back. The audience at home gets to watch this man mutter to himself as he places the phone in different rooms and then decides he doesn’t like it there and comes back for it (“The bathroom? Really, Harrington? What are you doing?”).

Frustrated with wasting the last hour of his life (much to the amusement of the people watching), Steve picks up the phone again and glares at it. He is sitting on the floor in the living room, squinting at the phone as he jabs at the screen again, “Tell me how to turn you off.”

Steve frowns, “Where’s the chatlog? I know there’s a – oh my god.”

“There was nothing wrong with AOL messenger!” Steve rants to the screen as he continues to poke at it. “I had AOL and I was happy. Everything was where it should be. Myspace was fine! I had a Myspace, but this – Oh! I got it. I got it! Hello. Can someone tell me how to turn this off?”

There are a lot of people in the chat. Most of them are excited that Steve is there and they’re gushing in the comments about how much they love him and appreciate him. Some people are asking questions about him. There are people begging him not to end the stream and others telling him to wake Eddie up.

There are even people who are genuinely trying to help him, but it’s all coming at Steve really fast. It’s sudden and overwhelming, and – “I’m too dyslexic for this.”

“I’ve got a brain like scrambled eggs, can – just one of you talk and tell me how to end this. Can you do that?” Steve asks, and everybody comments at once. “So, no. You can’t do that. Great.”

Steve rubs at his eyes and then does what he should’ve done in the first place and calls Dustin. He has his phone on speaker so the audience can hear when Dustin answers. Steve only says, “Help me.”

“With the stream or in general?”

“How do you –“ Steve stops, makes eye contact with the camera and then rolls his eyes. “Have I not suffered enough for you.”

“No.”

Steve has a look on his face like he’s about to remind Dustin that he was literally tortured in the name of scientific discovery but thinks better of it and says, “I’m telling Erica.”

“Fine, I’ll tell you how to end it.”

Dustin starts walking Steve through how to end the live stream but right before Steve hits the right button to end it all, both his phone and Eddie’s phone are knocked out his hands and you hear him yelp as he’s tackled over. The chat explodes and Dustin’s like, “Where’d you go? Steve?”

Then you hear the sound of a kiss and Eddie say, “I’ve missed you.”

There’s a smile in Steve’s voice when he says, “It’s been an hour.”

“Tell me about it.”

There’s the sound of another kiss and then, very loudly, Steve says, “Turn off your live-stream!”