#when i say i've gained trust issues... i really did
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i still have a month to go but i need to stop myself from making too much friends in college arrgrGRGHRHFJHSHSJDK (is a natural social butterfly around the right people)
#xelle.txt#somebody stop my yapping mouth before i traumatize myself again! /hj#when i say i've gained trust issues... i really did#the supposed classmates i've been with for the past 2 years weren't as nice they seem to be#that's why i just couldn't wait to graduate and leave the school so i could never see their faces again#i am SO GLAD they didn't pass the entrance exam to the college i applied to HAGAGAGAHAHAJAJKAKSJS#who's the smart one now? π₯Ί (mocking /nbh)#but anyway yes i shall. restrain myself even tho i badly want friends π©#i'll just be picky with the people i hang out with :3#real life banter
3 notes
Β·
View notes
Note
why are you so against Destiel
outofpie;
well because i get questions like this for starters...
look, i'm not "against" destiel. it's a fucking ship. i don't really care either way if you ship it or not. i don't care what you ship. this is a ship coming from the show that brought you wincest. we're used to not the best takes here. if you like the idea of dean and cas together, good for you. have a cookie.
what i don't like is this apparent narrative that i'm not allowed to DISLIKE destiel as a ship. please tell me exactly what you're trying to gain from sending these messages in. do you think i'm suddenly going to change my mind and have dean jump every cas he sees?
it's WILD to me that it's so controversial to not ship characters who i see as having a brotherly bond. to me, dean just sees cas as another little brother. i don't care that cas is a zillion years old. dean basically has to teach him all things human and it's very reminiscent of his bond with sam. dean basically had to "raise" another being when it came to cas.
i mean really, would you be physically or romantically attracted to a guy who didn't get your jokes, didn't understand what it meant to be a human, didn't understand human emotions (for the most part), didn't understand the references you made, betrayed you in several ways, threatened to throw you back into hell, basically told you that you were a POS for asking your brother's soul to be put back, broke the wall in your brother's mind as a distraction, tried to become a god with creepy depictions of him pulling you from hell in stained glass included, released the leviathans on the earth which ended up getting your father figure killed, ditched you in purgatory for a YEAR, freed lucifer who your brother DIED to put in the cage and so on?
none of this really leads me to seeing romance in the cards. dean is incredibly forgiving and he's made a lot of his own fuck ups too but there's no way a man who already has massive trust issues is going to be comfortable in a relationship with all of that hanging over it. cas is his family and will always be his family but anything more than brotherly love? it just ain't happening.
cas is incredibly important to dean as his BEST FRIEND and i also think that it's kind of bullshit to strip that away from him. look, dean doesn't have any issues in the romance department okay? if he really wanted to be with someone i think he would be but he also knows he has a lot of issues and doesn't want to put that on anyone. that being said, what dean DOES have issues with is friendships. take a look at season one. who are dean's friends? who does he have in his life besides his family? NO ONE. the fact that dean was able to have a best friend for as long as he did was incredibly meaningful and an important part of his character development. taking that away and turning cas into just another romantic figure is stripping that away. brotherly love/friendship love is JUST as important as romantic love and dean deserved that too. and so did cas.
destiel shippers can see whatever they wanna see in weird looks or a 'lack of personal space' or whatever other mental gymnastics you use to make that ship work but i'm never going to see it. it's never going to be "confirmed"; it's never going to be canon. full stop. you can buy into the retroactive queerbaiting on a show that ended 5 years ago if you want but to me it doesn't matter what they say on some podcast or whatever they say at cons, or if some song is partly inspired by dean and cas. what matters is that it's not canon and I DON'T SHIP IT. i've been very open about NOT shipping it for a long time. there's even a section in my carrd about it because guess what? this is NOT the first time i've had this sort of bullshit happen.
if you have a problem with me not liking a ship...how about you just....don't follow me?
crazy concept, i know.
#outofpie#you realize this makes you look bad right?#people are entitled to ship what they want#i love how fucking pushy destiel shippers are about their narrative#go back to your echo chamber#i'm sure you'll feel more comfortable there#anti destiel
23 notes
Β·
View notes
Text
I've never understood the constant hate that Wilhelm receives. I don't know if it's a matter of people relating more to Simon or what but I feel like in terms of what they have done wrong, they're pretty on par, at least to me.
Take the part where Wilhelm denies it's him in the sex tape. Yeah, that was wrong of him. And we have to think about how specifically it was wrong of him in Simon's eyes. It was wrong of him because he left Simon all alone. But at the same time, Simon is leaving Wilhelm all alone by breaking up with him. And I understand that it's not the same, Wilhelms actions are worse. But I feel like people willingly forget that simon has a support system of people he can trust completely. He has a supportive family and supportive friends outside of Wilhelm. For Wilhelm, he only had felice, and even then they weren't so close when the breakup happened.
Additionally to this, we learn about how Wilhelm is very susceptible to pressure from his family in s3 e5 when he mentions how he wanted to remain silent in terms of the video, but he was pressured into making a statement. And I get that he made a promise and he did have a choice, but he is also 16 and WAS heavily pressured. Like, the camera crew was hired before Wilhelm even spoke to his mother about the situation.
The argument scene in s3 e5 in general was amazing and really told you about Wilhelms character motivations and helps you understand, but I feel like many people didn't take it as that. They took it in the sense that simon was afraid and that's why he broke it off with Wilhelm again. But I feel like that's fundamentally misunderstanding the point. I feel like the point is that simon is really understanding the position that Wilhelm is in and how he slots into it and how he is now in a similar spot because he's with Wilhelm. It's him defining the relationship, not him realizing that Wilhelm is bad for him. it's not Wilhelm who's bad for him, it's the position that's bad for him. In addition, Simon has probably gained many self esteem issues from the media.
But overall, W and S's problem isn't that they are bad for each other, their problem is that they have barriers in place which prevent them from talking about certain issues which need to be talked about.
This is not really me posting about how Wilhelm was in the right, because he's not always in the right. It's more of me saying that people need to realize that he has understandable reasons for most of his actions and it's not like simon is an angel. They BOTH constantly make bad decisions (as do all other characters in this series) which is why I think they're so interesting.
The point I'm trying to make is don't let your like/dislike of a character warp their actions. This is how we get statements like "Wilhelm and Simon aren't compatible" like, YES THEY ARE. you're just too busy demonizing Wilhelm to see it.
#young royals#netflix young royals#simon x wilhelm#young royals season 3#prince wilhelm#wilhelm young royals#simon young royals#omar rudberg#edvin ryding#young royals spoilers
223 notes
Β·
View notes
Text
So season 7 is a season that exists for sure.
Okay look, I believe on my first watch I was a bit too harsh on some aspects of season 7. On my last re-watch, I have gained a much better understanding of some (SOME, not all) of the character/plotlines decisions that were made. Now, this isn't the worst season ever made, there is still plenty to enjoy but it's a far cry from anything like seasons 1-5 and I fear that is becoming a theme for these latter seasons. I am getting a bit drained here but I refuse to be totally pessimistic about the next seasons. I won't be broken yet trust.
I've been holding my tongue for too long and I might just start rambling nonsense about the poor characterization/continuity this season. Though I'll try my best to make it comprehensible.
Starting 'The Girl Next Door' for the first time, I was so eager to dig my teeth into this episode because of the young Sam flashback scenes (I've mentioned being a sucker for flashback scenes before). I was fascinated with learning more about Sam's past with Amy, being that she's a monster and the whole philosophy that comes with it. Will she be redeemed of her sins? Where's the line for monsters? However, all my hopes and expectations for this episode were ripped away from me when I saw how the very last scene played out. (If you know the scene I'm talking about you deserve compensation in every form). After Sam comes clean about Amy to Dean and is reasonably able to trust her, Dean goes behind Sam's back and kills Amy IN FRONT OF HER KID!!! Not trusting Sam's judgement and killing Amy is fine, that's really not the issue I have here. Just cause I don't agree with these course of actions doesn't mean it's out of the realm of possibility for Dean. But it comes out of nowhere and it seems like sort of a regression for Dean's character. There's so many questions being raised in my mind and the show fails to give any logical answers to why Dean would behave this way so suddenly. Also what really cements this as such a wild scene to me is him murdering her in front of her child and what he says this him. "Have you ever killed anyone? Well if you do, I'll come back for you." NO! My king would never do this!! At least not in this context, not this far into the series, and not to Sam. Did all this progress with his brother mean nothing? This is something I'd expect from a hallucination or leviathan version of Dean that I've seen so far. Yes, I'm able to try to jump through hoops to rationalize his actions here but I still can't shake the feeling that this was completely out of character. This isn't the only moment that screams mischaracterization. It's throughout the whole season and it happens to Sam too. Sam and Dean's motives go back in forth from caring to not at all. The brothers are facing such terrifying grief and agony this season and it's a crime that there a very little scenes of them actually being there for each other emotionally. I get it, their whole thing is to keep things from each other to protect one another. How heartwarming! But they are literally standing right next to each other and it feels like they're a million miles apart. That wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, no, far from it. There have been moments that benefit from this that create great brotherly drama in the past. However, it's not utilized whatsoever here, it's just ignored really. When it comes to the conversation regarding Sam's weak mental state, losing Castiel, and mourning Bobby...well there's no conversation really. There's just this total disconnect here that goes as far as interfering with their hunting abilities. Yes they should have their fair loses and they are allowed to drag their feet on missions sometimes. Just not for almost the entire season. It felt like they were going through the motions for the most part. I need them to be emotionally invested within the story so I the viewer can be emotionally invested. Ugh, I miss how passionate they were about saving other people's lives and engaging with one another in a meaningful way.
On a positive note, I did enjoy the leviathans on my second watch and I didn't see that happening for me. On my first watch I think I just hated their association with this season in general. The black goo that represented the leviathans during the opening title screen kept reminding me that I was still stuck watching season 7. Which is such a shame cause I really missed out by being distracted by the other issues that plagued this season. The leviathan's attitude towards humans is actually really fascinating. They are able to see how unique humans are and appreciate them for their one of a kind abilities while also viewing them as lesser. Also George the unfortunate leviathan intern that was ready to eat his boss was a fun addition to diversifying the league of leviathans. Dick Roman was actually a pretty fun villain and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to take him seriously but Bobby's death proved to me that this guy should be taken seriously as a threat. Oh yeah Bobby oh Bobby. I thought bringing him back as a ghost was a poor choice at first because I believe when characters like Bobby, who have made such a significant impact in a series, should (respectfully) stay dead. Then you don't have to worry about diminishing their death or cheapening their emotional moments. Except I love Bobby so much that I will be willing to throw all of that away. In a show like Supernatural it's been proven that no one truly stays gone (unless you're Jessica) even as figments or ghosts. Of course now his ghost form is gone but I wouldn't be surprised if he shows up as a hallucination or in a dream sequence later on in the show.
I have to end this review here but overall there's so many plot points that happen this season that I didn't get to mention here. Most of them either end way too early, go nowhere, or are straight up unnecessary. I'll watch an episode and see an exciting opportunity for character exploration and I'll instead be met with credits. Sadly I was very pleased to end this season. Hopefully after sometime this season will just be a funny silly memory that I can laugh about cause the show magically turns around and proves me wrong!!!
#supernatural#supernatural season 7#first time watching supernatural#live supernatural reaction#spn#sam winchester#spn sam#spn sam winchester#spn dean#spn dean winchester#dean winchester#bobby supernatural#spn bobby#bobby spn#spn castiel#castiel supernatural#castiel#supernatural ranking
23 notes
Β·
View notes
Text
Jungkook
Xβ‘Xβ‘ [SEVEN DAYS] Day 3 Teaser

If you gave him your heart, your soul, your body- what would he do to those things? Maybe it's time to see if he can handle your love for once, and not just the other way around.
Tags/Warnings: Porn with a lot of plot basically, inexperienced!reader, Dom!Jungkook, BDSM themes and elements, mild Angst, fluff, slow burn but we'regetting somewhere, they have chemistry but mc has trust issues, mentions of past domestic abuse (mental), Outercourse (basically non-penetrative sex), toys, Cumplay, it's messy smh
Length: ???
ππ‘ππ«π π’π¬ π§π¨ πππ π₯π’π¬π ππ¨π« ππ‘π’π¬ ππ’π.β‘
A/N: I'm busy in the kitchen come get your snack
βββββββββββXβ‘Xβ‘ββββββββββββ
He's got the audacity to laugh over your shoulder, front pressed into your back, hands teasing your sides as they sneak up your loose shirt.
"Bought one that's about my size." He purrs sensually, almost like he's mocking you. But it's not malicious- playful, if anything, but not mean ok any way. "So you can call it.. practice." He explains, while you stare at the nearly clear pink dildo that's staring at you, still packaged together with other things in the black plastic bag in your lap.
"Jungkook.. when did you even buy those things?" You wonder, feeling almost scared to touch any of the things inside.
"Earlier, when you were napping." He shrugs easily, hand reaching past your body to shamelessly dump the contents of the bag on the bed, bag flying somewhere on the floor. "Anything look like an absolute no-go to you?" He asks curiously, and you look without touching.
There's an egg-shaped item there you're not too sure of what it might be. The dildo explains itself, clearly- and the other massage wand is also pretty self-explanatory. There's two bottles of lube- one pink, the other blue. A.. plug, with a pretty pink gemstone on one end of it. Leather handcuffs, with soft looking fur on the inside. Overall, nothing immediately makes you uncomfortable.
You don't know what gives you the confidence for your next comment you blurt out though.
"Dont you have any toys?" You ask him bluntly. "Like, for yourself? Or do you just.. use your partner's body for stuff?" You wonder, and he looks at you with a sharp gaze, a smirk growing on his lips.
"I wouldn't mind using your body, that's for sure." He flirts, leaning his head a bit to the side. "Why would I need toys if I've got you?" He fakes innocence as he asks that question without expecting any answer-
And for a moment, you don't give one.
But something about his flirty comment bothers you. Maybe because you hear someone else in your head again- all the men who've degraded you over the course of time.
Your ex. Your friends. Your father. You hear them laugh yet again like you're pathetic and worth nothing.
"I don't want to be used." You deny with a flat tone, and it's clear from the slight change in his eyes that he's now on high alert at your every word spoken by mouth and body language, so he can figure out what happened to change your mood like that. "I don't just want to be.. a toy you get bored off and toss away at some point just to pick it back up once you're interested again." You say, drawing a clear line.
You're not sure how he might react to this. You didn't want to make a statement like that, but you can't mask the truth. You really are scared of getting hurt at the end of this- you don't want him to just play around and then let you go.
You don't want to go. You want to stay-
You want him to want you to stay.
He says your name to gain your attention, voice low and steady, horribly gentle- and it makes your eyes sting as you realize that this is the first time a man has ever spoken in such a tone to you. He notices the way your eyes begin to gloss over- and it hurts him too, the fact that you're hurting.
"This isn't just something fun to me. I think I might not have made it clear." He says, staying away from you as to not invade your little bubble you're in,eating you have your safety. "I don't know what happened to you in the past to be so full of distrust towards anything good offered to you-" He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "-but I promise you, this isn't just a game to me."
"Then what is this." You say quietly, scared. "I'm scared that we're not on the same page here and that we're walking down to entirely seperate paths." You complain pitifully with your back hunched over and head hanging low.
"That's because we are." He chuckles softly. "I'm trying to hold your hand here so we don't lose each other- but you're not holding it." Jungkook offers.
"I don't understand-" you shake your head, when as you look up again, his face is right in front of yours, eyes looking at your lips.
"Then let me help you." He hums towards you, before his lips press onto yours.
And your body freezes.
Because he's never kissed you like this before- tender, calm and without any lust in it whatsoever. In fact, your realize only now that you've never been kissed without any hidden intentions or something to gain in mind. This kiss is soft, it's no words needed, it's love confessed in physical form.
You've never been kissed like this.
Ever.
#bts imagine#bts fanfic#bts fic#jungkook imagine#bts smut#jeon jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook imagine#bts jungkook x reader#jungkook imagines#bts jungkook imagine#bts jeon jungkook imagine#jeon jungkook smut#jeon jungkook imagines
341 notes
Β·
View notes
Note
Can you tell us the parallels between the nosy neighbors and the mean gills pls, I'm desperate
YES PLEASE OFC
For starters, they are both partnerships formed by people who have historically not gotten along, but have also not become official enemies. Martyn and Scott have their mutual respect and dislike of eachother going on that I've talked about too much at this point. Bigb stood by and did nothing when Ren (literally) demonized Pearl in DL even though his affair with Grian was partially responsible for Ren spiralling that season in the first place, allowing Pearl to act as his scapegoat.
Scott and Pearl's history is obvious enough but Martyn and Bigb also have had a fairly weird relationship up to this point. They tend to hover around eachother as kind-of-allies, usually it's Martyn actively pursuing Bigb and Bigb reciprocating just enough but ultimately pulling away when things get dicey. Where Martyn gets emotionally attached very easily and is brave to the point of being self-destructive, Bigb is cowardly and flighty with all of his alliances. Bigb is manipulative in all the ways Martyn wants to be without meaning to while Martyn fails again and again to achieve the betrayal he wants by getting too attached.
Mean Gills and Nosy Neighbours are both, in a way, ideal partnerships for the people involved. For Scott and Martyn, they have someone on the same page about surviving in the death game and the transactional way you have to look at people to do that. They communicate very little because they don't have to, they're already on the same page.
For Bigb and Pearl, Pearl is shown that there are people outside of Scott and Cleo in the games who she can trust, and that the "bystanders" of DL are just that, bystanders. For Bigb, he gains an ally who can stand up for him and Pearl's clingyness means he's pretty much forced to communicate his issues (e.g. her continuously checking up on how much time he had left) which means his problems don't have the time to fester and when they do get desperate Pearl is happy enough to sacrifice herself for him.
No wonder these two alliances don't get along when you consider not only Scott and Pearl's history but also the fact that everything about them - the people involved, the ideas behind the alliance - clash severely.
In a way, both partnerships are built on selfish reasons. For Martyn, survival. For Scott, the illusion of control. For Bigb, stability. And for Pearl, companionship and redemption. Neither are built around wanting to be with the other person, but on what the other person can provide. This also is why neither partnership really struggles with "loyalty", their interests are always being met (I don't really consider Martyn killing Scott a true betrayal since it's what Scott wanted, but I think Martyn would).
This is not to say they don't actually care for eachother, they very much do. Pearl especially is heartbroken at Bigb's death, but I've always read it more as Pearl being upset at herself for being unable to save him rather than his death itself (she did show in LL that she doesn't.. exactly have the most normal grasp on people dying, after all). That is another thing -- when Nosy Neighbours are torn apart, Pearl whimpers. When the Mean Gills are torn apart, Martyn laughs maniacally.
tl;dr they're both ideal death game partnerships but because of that no deeper connection can be established since neither party is interested in challenging the other's perspective on things.
46 notes
Β·
View notes
Note
Can I request HCs with Jouno with a very quiet reader whose love language is physical touch? Ignore this if you don't want to and take your time (:
Jouno with a quiet and touchy S/O
β‘ pairing: Jouno Saigiku x gn!Reader
β‘ synopsis: Quiet and touchy you dates calm and (dis)agreeable Jouno Saigiku.
β‘ wc: 729
β‘ cw: Teensy tiny bit of NSFW but nothing too bad (Jouno gets a BONER!!!??!!!?????!???)
note: I've decided to try switching up the post formatting a little from here on out- just trying to make it a little nicer on the eyes. Please leave feedback if you guys like it or not!! Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x
First of all, Jouno doesn't have an issue with you being quiet or being touchy
Even if you don't talk/make much noise he can listen to your heartbeat, the rustling of your hair, your breathing et cetera to tell how you're feeling and if you're nearby
He loves holding your hand and he runs his thumb over your knuckles <3
After a long day of work his favourite thing to do is come home and collapse into your warm, open arms
He says otherwise, but he actually prefers when he gets to lay on top of your chest so he can listen to your heartbeat. Also tits but yk
If you talk to him but not to others very often it makes him feel special. It also makes him feel very protective over you because he knows how much trust you have in him
(Even if you're fully capable of protecting yourself, or you do self-defence or you're just large or whatever. This man will make it his mission to keep you safe you have no choice sry)
Jouno loves to watch movies with you, especially horror movies, for a few reasons. He knows that you like movies since there's no need to talk during them, and he likes the way your heartbeat speeds up and you cling to his side when you get scared (I want to make a 'Don't Breathe' joke but I can't think of one lmao)
He likes talking to you because you're a good listener, and when I say 'talking' I just mean complaining about Tecchou because...duh. But he also really loves when you talk to him a lot because it makes him feel trusted, and he likes learning more about you
For real though he would probably prefer that you did get along with Tecchou, because you being friends with him might mean he'll annoy Jouno less. Maybe.
A lot of the time when you guys hang out you don't really even need to speak to each other. Y'know when you hang out with someone you love and you can just spend time with each other without having to talk and it's not awkward or anything? It's like that with him
He can sense your relaxation and happiness when you're with him and he loves it so much
He really likes to fluster you
I mean really likes to fluster you. He loves to tease you and make you blush, mostly in private, but in public if necessary (maybe another person tries to rizz you up and he sees this and just thinks 'absolutely not')
Like he'll call you all kinds of pet names (mostly stuff like 'darling' or 'my love'), put his arm around your waist, whisper flirtatious things into your ear, stuff like that
He would also never admit this but he especially loves when you do it back to him out of nowhere. When you suddenly gain confidence and take his chin in your fingers, run your thumb over his lip and purr something to him??
Even he can't stop the blood visibly rushing to his cheeks
and his cock lowkey
Y'all massage each other!! Jouno loves them because let's face it he really needs one, and he loves giving them to you because he likes helping you relax, and it also shows him the scope of your trust in him (he really values this)
You guys have a lot of at-home dates, but when you do go out you do cute things like eat at cafes and go for walks. You and he like to pet all the doggos/kittys you see (if you're not allergic obvs!)
He bought you a promise ring. You wear it every day and he couldn't be happier
If your love language is physical touch then his is probably gift giving or quality time. Since he doesn't have that much time to spend with you he tries to make up for it by treating you to things he thinks you would like (he's kind of a sugar daddy)
He especially likes buying you new clothes and seeing your excitement when you try them on and show them to him- he knows you look great, but more importantly he knows you're happy
If you're a soft-spoken or quiet person Jouno is seriously the guy for you. Plus, even the strongest soldiers need hugs :')
taglist~ β‘ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl
#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd fic#bsd fanfic#bsd fanfiction#fanfic#fanfiction#bsd ff#bsd hcs#hcs#headcanons#bsd headcanons#x reader#bsd x reader#bsd x gn reader#x gn reader#jouno saigiku#bsd jouno#jouno x reader#saigiku jouno#jouno x y/n
320 notes
Β·
View notes
Text
since its pride and i've been thonking about clear lately, with encouragement from @ink-flavored i thought i would do her 100 romance questions ask tm but honestly for the entire main 5 cuz why notttt. (and i'm skipping some that i don't wanna do lmao so this may not be the full 100 but its FINE)
without the ado of furthers:
πDo they like romance? Have they always hated the idea, or are they a swooning hopeless romantic?
PIPER has never given romance much thought bc she has a hard time distinguishing what different kinds of relationships feel like. throughout the story she kinda learns more about it, but initially? no thoughts head empty.
DEUX has always been a hopeless romantic and has always longed for the idea of a romantic relationship. she's a rare sort (in terrae anyway) where pleasure+bonds go hand in hand for her.
SAN has always hated romance and is very romance repulsed, especially when she found out her sister was in a relationship and planned to have children and whatnot.
FORTE is more measured than his teammates (a common theme); he likes romance and he thinks that its valuable but he's more practical than a hopeless romantic type and cares more about the compatibility than feelings aspect of being intimately involved with someone.
CLEAR longs for romance but he doesn't feel like he deserves it. because he's #tragicgay
β€οΈHow do they feel about the concept of βloveβ? What does it mean to them?
PIPER has had a sort of... ignorance is bliss kind of relationship with 'love' in the sense that its not really something she experienced much of growing up though it wasn't really anyone's fault? she was an orphan tm and while she did grow up 'cared for' it was more done out of duty and not out of a sense of actual care for her specifically, or out of a desire to do so and not obligation. in this vein she has a hard time distinguishing different types of relationships and how she feels about them generally. platonic affection, familial affection, and romance all kind of feel the same for her, and for a long time she wouldn't call it "love" specifically. she can't really concieve of the idea of doing something for someone else with nothing in return so i guess love is also a bit transactional to her? but not in a bad way because she also considers doing something for someone because seeing them happy makes you happy, is also inherently transactional because you are gaining pleasure from it too, if that makes sense.
DEUX definitely believes that the force of love is powerful, mysterious and not to be underestimated. of the main five she is the most Spiritually Inclined, i would say, and because of that, a lot of emotions to her have a divine element and inclination. she thinks love is sacred and not to be trifled with and she feels all her emotions, love included, very deeply.
SAN is in a similar boat to piper where they feel like love is transactional, but more in a negative sense. growing up with neglectful parents who held their love over her head to force her to do what they want, or witheld it when they weren't "good enough" makes her distrustful of people who claim to love not only her but any other people. but she has trust issues in general its not really just related to "love"
FORTE is somewhere between piper and deux on the scale of what love feels like to him. he agrees that it is transactional to a certain extent, but he also thinks that it does have its own wiles and is compelling in its own vein. he is a logical person, generally, and with his own emotions, but love is something that he doesn't really try to logic out too hard. the body wants what it wants. HOWEVER he does distinguish between the act of loving and just the feelings of affection that often get conflated with love. if forte feels like he loves someone or something, he always tries to ensure that his actions show that. he's more of an actions > words guy.
CLEAR finds love... complicated. he will admit he's never experienced it in a way that wasn't connected with some kind of shame (shame for loving men, shame for being kind and affectionate to his siblings, shame for being weak because love has always been conflated with weakness to him). he also wishes he could understand it because maybe if he did then maybe he could control it. but alas. tragicgay core PFF.
βHave they ever questioned the idea of what βloveβ is? Where did it lead them?
PIPER started to when she met keevan really--its the first time she really started to question what the difference between how she felt for him versus how she felt for saith and how she felt for kiba were all... different? but also the same? it does eventually lead to her sort of finding where her own personal lines in the sand about where romantic-platonic-familial love end up, but the lines are still a bit blurred overall for her.
DEUX has never questioned it, really. to her its just one of the constants in the world. the sky is blue, the grass is green, and love exists, in its many different flavors. she tries to be understanding when her friends question her about it, or when she hears of other people who don't feel things the same way that she does, but its literally just sort of unconcievable to her. to her, everything is love in some variety and she can lowkey be a bit stubborn in seeing other's worldview.
SAN has questioned it every day of her damn life because her parents left them with a very uh. let's say disordered attachment style rip. by the end of the "main journey" i would say she's nowhere closer to really understanding love in itself, especially unconditional love (that may take a lifetime tbh), but at the very least she begins to detangle the web of trust issues that her fear of and lack of proper care and love stem from. its very much a work in progress for them, and the hardest thing they've ever done, but she's slowly starting to see how its worth it.
FORTE has questioned it in more of a philosophical sense and less of a personal sense? he's prone to musing, though he usually keeps these thoughts to himself and ponders them when he has time for no other reason than if there is a logic or a reason for things, he likes to take the meandering journey of self discovery. but even in his quesitoning of it, its never affected how he views love in his own life and for himself. what love is and how love affects him are two separate conversations to him.
CLEAR hasn't really questioned it, but he also wouldn't know where to start? i feel like a broken record but a lot of his experience of love of all types is sourced back to and related to shame, so it also brings about a lot of those uncomfortable feelings when he thinks about it. but in that same vein, he knows he wants the answers to it--why does he love the way he does, or what can he gain from it, or why does it even plague him. but a lot of it is mostly tied up in self-loathing. he will learn to let go of this shame though, but MAN it takes awhile.
πHow many times have they been in love?
PIPER - once
DEUX - once on paper, though i will chime in and say that its kind of a toss up between "never" and "twice" for various reasons in actuality, depending on how you look at things
SAN - never
FORTE - twice on paper, but once to him truly
CLEAR - once
and i think i should specify this for them as well, they are quite young. in general but also for terraeneans. terraeneans average lifespan (if nothing happens to them) is around 150-200 years. and they're all in their 20s lmao. they have a LOT of time to experience love and all that.
πWhatβs their most formative memory about love or romance? It can be good or bad.
PIPER - getting tossed to the ground for the first time in sparring. you know how it is lmao.
DEUX - seeing her parents dancing in their kitchen together and thinking that she wanted something like that when she got older - and also seeing how her brother lit up when their parents asked him about his girlfriend the one time he visited them before The Incident.
SAN - the first time that her parents praised her sister for being better than her and said how much they loved her. they asked if their parents loved her too, but they didn't give an answer :((
FORTE - in MUCH hindsight who the first person he wanted to see after The Incident was.
CLEAR - realizing why he enjoyed getting praise from his masc instructors than his femme ones when he was like ?? 10. and then throwing up about it because he realized what it meant and he was terrified of telling his father.
πWhatβs the easiest part of love for them?
PIPER - the parts that tend to be synonymous with all the kinds of love, so like playful jests and roasting, being there for one another or listening to venting about problems and things like that -- that aren't like "specific" to one kind of love and are just general ways to show care and affection.
DEUX - being a safe space honestly. deux is hyper empathetic and being a listening and comforting ear, shoulder to cry on, cheerleader, etc, is something that comes naturally to her. she will be there for every high and low.
SAN - literally no part of love is easy for san jfc LMAO. however, the one that doesn't make them extremely uncomfortable is sort of 'acts of service'. basically, if you need something done, san will Get. It. Done. "he asked for no pickles" "hey you said you needed something for the store" will fight your worst enemy for you in the parking lot energy.
FORTE - the little actions that show care. thinking of them and getting them something they like when you're out, listening to them vent or rant, offering a shoulder to cry on, etc.
CLEAR - similar to forte, a lot of the quiet and unnoticed gestures that revolve around taking care of and being kind to someone.
π€Whatβs the hardest part of love for them?
PIPER - skinship in a romantic/sexual way? its not that piper doesn't feel those emotions or urges but she finds it super foreign to even think about lmao.
DEUX - holding someone accountable for their bad behavior even if you love them. this is a huge part of her arc as well, but she just has such a hard time feeling like she can hold space for both love and justified frustration at people, and because of that she tends to try and pretend things are find or sweep it under the rug when its very much Not Fine.
SAN - the whole like putting other's needs before her own thing. like they kind of get it, but not like for no reason that people 'in love' seem to do. essentially any kind of unconditional love she doesn't get and they don't get how to show it either.
FORTE - not always relying on logic to explain away emotions. despite it all he's a logical person so he tends to try and rationalize everything even when sometimes the answer doesn't have rhyme or reason.
CLEAR - accepting and trusting that other people mean it when they say that they care about him. he absolutely knows he means it when he says and shows care towards others but he doesn't believe it could ever be reciprical and he doesn't always realize how damaging it is for other people to hear that the way that they're showing you love is "meaningless" because he's unworthy or that they're "lying" about loving him or whatever.
πWhat do they want the most from a romantic relationship? Is it what theyΒ need?
PIPER hasn't given much thought to what she wants out of a romantic relationship, because it takes her a Long Time to realize that she wants one and then its too late. however, what she needs is someone who she can feel comfortable relying on. because really, the crux of things is is that pipes is fiercely independent-she does what she wants, marches to the beat of her own drum, all that jazz. she doesn't feel like she needs to rely on people. but getting to a point where she trusts someone enough with the inner parts of herself that she feels like she can rely on them and not feel like they're going to try and change her or expect her to be someone different, is a huge thing for her.
DEUX wants what we would consider a "traditional" romance. in the sense that she wants to be monogamous with a partner, and to be solely devoted to one another. and while on paper that's true--i think she really needs someone that would tell her to be independent. she is a people pleaser at heart, and she tends to shirk her own feelings and desires for the comfortability of other people--and she needs someone who would want her to grow and be able to stand on her own two feet and assert what she wants and who she is; to not light herself on fire to keep other's warm and all that.
SAN doesn't need a romantic relationship lol. if its not been kinda obvious from her answers, san is aromantic in a more romance/qpr repulsed kind of way. i think trying to get her to be in a romantic relationship would be a nightmare for everyone involved. however, they are sex favorable. so really, what they need is someone to fuck them and get the stick out of her ass OEUFSDJBK
FORTE wants someone who he feels like he can build a future with and is flexible enough to change the idea of what that future is when situations change and times change. he wants someone who he can rely on of course, but who isn't so inflexible that when times change they don't. and while he's not wrong--i think forte misses a critical point in a lot of his thought process about romance, which is that he's not used to people considering him and what he wants. he tends to fall into the trap that a lot of more masculine leaning people fall into where they're expected to be the sole initiators, sole providers of safety and security, and they should just be content to serve others. but who is serving HIM?? who is prioritizing him and what he needs and wants?? he needs a relationship where his partner is going to not only ask those questions but not take no for an answer when he reflexively insists that he's fine not being catered to. SPOIL THIS MAN FUCKING CHRIST.
CLEAR wants someone who will make him "normal" in the eyes of his father, but he's lying don't fucking listen to him. what he wants deep down is someone who he feels like he doesn't have to hide himself around; who will love him for who he is, faults and failings included. and honestly his inner voice is FUCKING CORRECT he needs someone that will tell him that there is no threshold of being worthy of love, he's worthy of it by being alive that's the end of the discussion. he needs someone to show him genuinely compassionate and selfless care. do that, he's yours forever amen.
π¨ββ€οΈβπβπ¨Do they prefer a steady partnership or casual dating? Neither?
PIPER doesn't really have a preference for either. she's more of a, its cool if its happening but its fine if its not type of person lol. so, kinda ambivalent about it. i think overall she'd slightly prefer a steady partnership only in the sense that dealing with other people and their expectations varying would get annoying to her after awhile. if she was really craving romance or something she'd rather just go to the same person every time and be done with it.
DEUX is a steady partnership or bust kind of person. she wouldn't start a relationship with someone unless she was absolutely sure about them and being with them, and then she's a come hell or high water we will work this out if there's any issues pff.
SAN benefits with friends (said this way specifically) is more their jam. a steady partnership when labeled as such would make them itch, so like, don't point out that they've been fucking the same guy pretty much exclusively ok? they'll kill you <3
FORTE is fine with both because he thinks both have benefits. he's the most "normal" by terraenean standards; doesn't conflate pleasure (sex) with bonds (romance). so steady partnerships are nice because he likes the intimacy that comes with knowing someone super well and being in a steady relationship. likes casual dating bc of the sex and getting to meet and learn new people and having varied experiences.
CLEAR is too much of an anxious wreck for casual dating jesus christ. and he has a mad jealousy streak but that's because of insecurity and all that. it would probably be easier for him to get in a steady relationship and then explore polyamory once he felt more secure with his partner (which will probably happen anyway), but even in that vein for him its more for sex and less for emotional connections.
πHow romantic do they expect their partner(s) to be in a relationship? Is it a deal-breaker if expectations arenβt met?
PIPER - its not a deal breaker but she would like it. like, what's the point in having a "romance" if we're not going to do the "romancing" aspect, to her. however, she doesn't need someone to be like over the top with it cuz that'd make her laugh (in a more "dude what're you doing" way)
DEUX - would definitely expect her partner to be romantic, however its not a deal breaker per se. if deux really loved the person then she would get over it and would be fine if they weren't that romantic/affectionate towards her, though it would make her feel sad/unfulfilled. she wouldn't take kindly to any advice about opening the relationship though. she'd rather suffer in silence which isn't good but yknow.
SAN - be romantic with her if you don't want to see tomorrow <3 but it would make them really uncomfortable tbh. friendly is... acceptable. to an extent. but when it starts being romantic its eugh for her.
FORTE - not a deal breaker and if his partner wasn't particularly romantic he wouldn't be either, or he'd seek it out in another relationship.
CLEAR - a deal breaker but clear wouldn't know how to talk about it really cuz he feels like he's asking for too much. unlike deux though, he wouldn't talk about it he'd just ghost the person if he felt like they should break up which is also not healthy per se PFF.
πHow romantic are they in a relationship? Does it depend on the partner, or are they moon-eyed with anyone?
PIPER - she's definitely on the lower end and is very uhhhh oblivious. you'd have to tell her exactly what you want her to do if you want her to be 'romantic' and she'd have no issue with it but it doesn't like come to her naturally lmao. so it would depend on how invested her partner was in receiving romantic gestures and how willing they were to tell her that's what they want lol.
DEUX - moon eyed with everyone if she has a crush on them she is a huge romantic.
SAN - negative in fact in the romance department.
FORTE - he changes how romantic he is depending on who he's with so it would depend on the partner. ie: for someone like deux he would put way more effort into doing romantic gestures and showing that he cared because that's important to her. for clear, its a mixture of overtly romantic things (he can't help it, flustering clear becomes one of his favorite pastimes very quickly later on in time tm) while a lot of just being chill and existing in the same space. its all up to the person he's with, he's flexible either way
CLEAR - he wants to be romantic but he doesn't always know how--in the sense that he tends to overthink it a lot. because he's a private/generally kind of secretive person and being romantic (to him) requires a sense of vulnerability, he does tend to lean slightly less romantic overall. but once he opens up and you start to get to know him he's really quite thoughtful and romantic with his partner(s).
πWhich βtraditionally romanticβ acts (love poetry, flowers, etc.) do they love the most? Would they rather receive this kind of affection, or give it to someone else?
PIPER - honestly, food. she doesn't love chocolates and stuff she's much more of a savory gal but buying her food is definitely an easy way into her heart. she would prefer to receive food PFF.
DEUX - buying her flowers but make sure they're potted/still have their roots; she doesn't like stemless because she doesn't think something should have to die for her to receive a nice gesture. so get her a potted plant she can look after and she'd really appreciate it. she would also love to give flowers to someone else! she likes gardening a lot so she'd love to have someone to share the hobby with in general.
SAN - uhhhh similar to piper where she likes food but she actually does enjoy sweets, so buying them chocolate or the like is always a win. they would actually prefer to give it to other people bc they tend to distrust gifts other people give them, and so if they wanted chocolate, they'd do a sort of "hey i bought this for you but really we're sharing and really i'm eating most of it and used you as a justification to buy myself chocolate" lmao.
FORTE - poetry; its endearing to him. he doesn't mind doing it himself but he tends to stray away from the arts as a whole just bc of the association with his dad (mind you: forte and his father do have a great relationship, its just bc his dad is a rather famous bard people always assume that he's going to do arts and the problem for forte is that he IS good at them but they don't bring him joy in the same way and he hates the assumption that he has to follow his father's legacy and not live his own life tm), so he'd actually prefer to recieve it. people don't do poetry that often generally and its not a necessity to him, but he thinks its sweet.
CLEAR - singing him to sleep. it feels intimate and vulnerable and sweet and soft so he really likes it. he wouldn't mind doing it for someone else either, he just thinks the entire thing is sweet.
πWhich βtraditionally romanticβ acts (love poetry, flowers, etc.) do they hate more than anything? When itβs directed at them, or when theyβre expected to give it to others?
PIPER - flowers. she doesn't understand them or why people care about them and how certain ones can have bad meanings (they're fucking ??? flowers???) so she just doesn't get it at all. she doesn't mind if people give them to her, she just tells them she can't appreciate it that well bc she doesn't get it, but she hates being asked to give them bc like ?? dude have some grass idc.
DEUX - poetry isn't really deux's forte and she feels too embarrassed to do it. she doesn't mind if people do it for her, but she wouldn't be able to do it herself.
SAN - literally all romantic gestures LMAO just don't do that shit with her and don't expect her to do them either. unless its buying food.
FORTE - being expected to sing a love song to someone because he's good at singing. he just hates when people assume that because he can do something that he has to for them or whatever. he doesn't mind doing it of his own accord, but not when its demanded of him.
CLEAR - honestly there isn't really a romantic act that he truly hates? he likes all of them well enough and he's open to doing them for someone he cares about pretty equally.
πWhat is the dating culture in their society like? Do they participate in it?
i've kinda alluded to it in this post and several other posts that i've made talking about this wip but essentially, in terrae there is a separation between bonds (which is essentially the broad spectrum term for any kind of relationship ranging from qprs, to friends, to kinship (aka family) to romantic partnerships) and pleasure, which (sans eros) is seen as a just base level desire separate from like a bond with someone. obviously this is bearing the fact that every bond is different and communication about what your bond entails is imperative to the people involved. going to relationship oracles (located in whats broadly known as houses of carnations) is actually quite common both for bonds, but also if you're interested in creating Bonds, which are magically binding.
so generally speaking, dating culture is encouraged and highly communicative, and monogamy itself isn't strictly enforced, nor are conventional relationships. and all of them kind of do participate in some way or another.
π―Whatβs their idea of a perfect date?
PIPER - a date that doesn't really 'feel' like a date; so basically, doing a lot of the same stuff that she and the person in question would do, but instead of with other people it's just with the two of them. whether it be going out to eat or drink at the bar, or sparring and working on technique, or even just hanging out--the intimacy of it being just the two of them is what matters to her.
DEUX - a romantic picnic in a pretty location by a lake; her partner brings her flowers of some kind and they both prepare the food together. and then they spend the time talking and getting closer in a serene, scenic environment.
SAN - this is less a date in the romantic sense and more a what they prefer if you want to hook up with them and basically that's sort of a, lets go out drinking with the intent of getting buzzed (not wholly drunk, she hates drunk sex) and there's been clear communication about what the plan is. then you go up to one of the inn rooms and get it on. let them take the lead and they'll be quite satisfied.
FORTE - honestly, he's not picky. just doing stuff with the partner in question is nice to him. he enjoys traveling and seeing new things, so anything related to a new experience is something he'll enjoy. whether it be traveling to a new city together or to a new restaurant or museum that opened up, or even going into the woods to discover different areas and look at nature, all of that is a good date to him.
CLEAR - he likes an in home date--its been a long time since he felt like he could truly exist in a space that was his and that he could be vulnerable in; so doing something like ordering in, and snuggling together. especially if the weather is a bit dreary, it makes it more cozy.
πAre they expected by their society to date and/or marry? How do they feel about it?
generally speaking they aren't expected to date or marry; its a very you do you type of thing (again, unless you're in eros so only san and clear have dealt with the kind of pressure to reproduce/"settle down") both of them hate it and have reacted in their own varying ways about it.)
πDo they often βmake the first moveβ when it comes to love? Or are they waiting for the object(s) of their affection to pick up the hints theyβre dropping?
PIPER - funnily enough waits for the other person to make the first move--she finds the thrill of being chased fun.
DEUX - she tends to wait and hope that the object of her affection picks up hints. she thinks its romantic for someone to understand the subtle (she's not subtle but she thinks she is bless her) hints she gives them to let them know she's interested.
SAN - Brother Ew LMAO -> is how they feel about it. when it comes to initiating sex, they tend to wait for other people to make the first move because they find it super embarrassing.
FORTE - he tends to make the first move. its actually because he enjoys it, ngl. flirting with and flustering someone he's interested in is a particular kind of crack to him. that, and, he doesn't like dragging things out and beating around the bush if he doesn't have to because drama is too much work.
CLEAR - he would die in the closet if he had the choice (he doesn't) so he tends to let other people made the first move.
π’Are they able to confess romantic feelings easily, or do they clam up at the mere prospect?
PIPER - surprisingly, piper gets a bit awkward about confessing her feelings. she feels like they should be obvious? but because she treats friends/romantic interests the same it kind of isn't LMAO.
DEUX - she gets shy but she's very straightforward and starry eyed. a lot of her shyness has more to do with her trauma and fears of rejection.
SAN - romantic feelings aside (bc she has none) she would rather kill herself than even attempt to express that she cares for someone in ANY way its literally like pulling teeth for her rip
FORTE - he's pretty straightforward, as to him the worst that can happen is someone tells him that they don't feel the same way and then he'll process it and carry on as usual. he would rather express himself and live his life with as little regrets as possible.
CLEAR - he would rather Die OFHJNCLJ
π¦Is it super obvious when they have feelings for someone, or are they a master at hiding it?
PIPER - its really hard to tell and its not even because she's hiding it. only a select few people can really Read piper but she's literally just vibing she's not trying to hide things one way or another she just lowkey always gives mixed signals
DEUX - its so obvious its not even funny LMAO
SAN - its easy to tell when she cares about someone but if you say something they'll probably try and stab you so. choose wisely.
FORTE - it kind of depends? forte tailors how he acts to the people that he's around and to make them more comfortable. ie: with deux, he made it really obvious that he does harbor interest in her because she likes overt romantic gestures. but because clear is so skittish, he kept his feelings very very casual and unobtrusive so he could get close enough to him to help him not feel as uncomfortable
CLEAR - its funny because like the only reason i'm saying clear is a wreck is because i know him really well. he's actually a really private and secretive person and most people actually don't know what he's thinking or how he feels unless they REALLY start actively paying attention to him and unraveling what he means when he does certain things.
πWhatβs the longest amount of time theyβve ever pined after someone?
PIPER - mm. spoilers ig but she's gonna pine for the rest of her life ig OUEJDS
DEUX - longest she's pined was over that aforementioned crush she had on her brother's friend which lasted for a few years before he really started showing his true asshole colors.
SAN - never has <3 unless you count pining for parental affection and acceptance then her whole life up until this point lmao
FORTE - hm. maybe a year? he doesn't tend to pine for too long because he'd rather after a certain point get his feelings out and then see if the other person reciprocates.
CLEAR - probably 2 years when he was a kid and had that crush on his mentor. then the mentor died so rip.
π€Have they ever been on either side of an βunrequited loveβ situation? How did it turn out?
PIPER - yeah.... she actually has no clue about it. (technically its a minor plot point) and i don't think she'll ever learn about it bc the person who likes her, after everything that happened, would rather focus on just being a good friend to her than to potentially hurt her or risk their friendship.
DEUX - not that she's aware of? and honestly, not that i'm aware of either LMAO.
SAN - honestly, probably but she's not romantic so rip to that person. i think people have tried to ask them out before and they've always shot whoever it was down bc Ew.
FORTE - welp, the one time he was aware of wasn't actually unrequited so ;3c
CLEAR - not that he knows of since no one has ever confessed to him or anything. i think he would feel really bad either way like he was tricking the other person into thinking he was better than he actually is.
πββοΈIs anybody their βone that got awayβ? Have they ever βgotten awayβ from someone else?
PIPER - yeah they have a one that got away. spoiler territory tho <3 and technically yes she's gotten away from that aforementioned person that likes her but doesn't want to ruin their friendship but pipes has no clue that they feel that way
DEUX - one that got away? yes, he is in the room with us. and technically in the same vein she got away from him--its complicated but spoiler territory :DD
SAN - nooooooope <3
FORTE - technically yes, she is in the room with us for both accounts and again spoilers for why <3
CLEAR - nope :D
βHave they ever been rejected after a confession of love? How did they handle it?
PIPER - she hasn't been rejected before lol
DEUX - it was really hurtful (aforementioned brother's friend crush) but she came to realize that he was just a shit person anyway and that helped her get over it
SAN - naur
FORTE - he's been rejected plenty and he doesn't take it personally. the only time where he was rejected and he took it pretty hard was again spoiler territory but he wasn't really being rejected for the person not wanting to be with him, which is something he can handle. its the fact that they can't be which is the problem.
CLEAR - when he got rejected in plot, he was let down gently with a "you know i'm not what you really want" because he confessed to a gal bc he's been tryna force straight himself and she's a good enough person and friend to be like sweetie, we both know you're lying lmaoooo. he didn't take it "well" in the sense that he spiraled because he didn't want to have it pointed out that he wasn't "normal" but again bc his issue isn't a culture/worldwide phenomena she didn't really understand why he was beating himself up so hard over preferences he couldn't control.
π€Have they ever had a romantic interest βstolenβ before? Have they ever made a move on someone they knew a friend was interested in?
PIPER - oh someone tried LMAOOO.... thankfully for pipes it didn't work bc the person she likes isn't interested but like also *biting and maiming* is how she felt about the entire thing. she's never made a move on someone that her friend was interested in--for one the only friends she has that have romantic tastes are either in a relationship, or they don't have the same taste as her so she wouldn't be interested in the first place. but even if she Was interested in the same person as any of her friends then she would not go for it bc she's a loyal person and she wouldn't do that to them tm. she would probably tell them offhandedly though like oh man lol if they reject you ig i'll go for it, in a kind of joking manner though really she'd be more likely to beat the person up for rejecting her friend and then moving on from them herself PFF.
DEUX - sooooooort of? she kind of feels that way if she thinks too hard about it after the fact, but at the same time, she can't really blame either of them because she put her interest in a kind of lose-lose situation. it takes her awhile but she learns to move on from it and accept her situation as it is. she would never make a move on someone else that her friend liked though the thought of that is horrifying to her.
SAN - i'm a broken record but i'm mostly including san in this ask so that she's not left out OHFDJLC but no lmao
FORTE - probably? he doesn't take this kind of stuff too personally tbh. and he probably has made a move on someone that he knew a friend was interested in--in his mind its more of a you don't own someone because you like them vibe and furthermore, if they say yes to both of us then i don't see what the issue is lol
CLEAR - LOWKEY YEAH at least in the beginning but that's also his own fault for not trying but it became less about his sexuality and more about him not wanting to hurt people he cared about so he kinda just. dealt with it. he's never (to himself) considered that he made a move on someone a friend was interested in bc he would rather not make a move at all;;; the rejected party came to Him so like ?? how can he be to blame
π€Do they consider βhaving a crushβ and βbeing in loveβ different things? Whereβs the line?
PIPER - not really? piper feels her emotions in a kind of muddled way and especially when it comes to romance, for her its very much like "well they're practically the same thing." she wouldn't have a crush if she didn't know someone well or didn't feel intensely about them so to her its basically being in love.
DEUX - the only difference to her is how well you know someone. if you know very little about someone then its a crush if you know a lot then its love.
SAN - she considers them different because how can you love someone if you haven't like been through things with them or know anything about them. that was always one of her main gripes whenever people confessed their 'love' to them in the past, like thye literally know nothing about them so how tf do you "love" them ?? the hell. funnily enough, i think the only person that san has ever felt like "loves her" in any manner is clear and that's SUPER FUNNY for a variety of reasons (positively) but it is true, clear does love san but more in a sibling type of way (once they both get over the drama tm) and they're both ok with that.
FORTE - he considers them different for a similar reason to san but less... cynical. love is something that is built on a foundation of initial attraction to him. he thinks he could grow to love anyone if he got to know them and meshed well with them and all of that. however, he doesn't really think crushes are lesser. when it comes to romantic love he feels like having a crush is honestly more important than "loving" someone--that inexplicable draw and desire to be around someone and get to know them is all apart of "crush" feelings to him and he would never want that to die in a relationship because that fundamental curiosity about the person you're with will sustain your relationship for a long time. love is about comfort sure, but crushes are about exploration and he's been drawn to exploration his whole life. he definitely romanticiizes crushes a bit and i didn't know this about him until i started typing this lol. this also makes later plot events make sense and im going to chew on this for awhile LOL
CLEAR - he considers them different: love is obligation but crushes express want. both don't necessarily have to be bad but he's always had a bit of a jaded view of love (thanks dad) so the idea of loving someone because he wants to and fantisizing about that person and being with them has more appeal especially in the privacy of his own brain. he then comes to learn love can be rewarding and not toxic which he then grows to value quite a lot.
π‘Have they ever been in love with theΒ ideaΒ of someone instead of the actual person? What was the aftermath?
PIPER - nope
DEUX - aforementioned brother's friend and she got hear heart broken by both of them and she carries that anger really close to her heart though she tries not to show it <3
SAN - naur
FORTE - naur
CLEAR - nope
πHow important is being in a relationship to them?
on a scale of 1-10
PIPER - 1/10
DEUX - 8/10
SAN - -10000000/10.
FORTE - 6/10
CLEAR - 7.5/10
1οΈβ£How do they feel about the concept of finding βThe Oneβ? Is it an aspiration or something they roll their eyes at?
PIPER - she thinks its dumb and there's a lot better things she could do with her time. like training. and eating. LMAO.
DEUX - greatly fucks with the concept of finding The One though she doesn't make it her whole identity or personality. because she believes greatly in fate and destiny due to her reverence of her main goddess (despite said goddess not presiding over love and relationships tm), she does feel like everyone has people they're supposed to meet in life and supposed to be intwined with. and to her, the idea of having one person she's fated to meet and love and all of that.
SAN - rolling their eyes so hard they get stuck in the back of their head. san is more of the belief that you should focus on yourself and becoming The One True Version Of Yourself (or the best version of yourself tm) instead of relying on other people to fill those voids in you.
FORTE - because forte is essentially non-monogamous (as is most of the culture), he thinks the idea of finding The One to be a little silly. like in all of life, you've never found someone else that you clicked with or that you wanted to be with on a romantic or sexual level? feels weird to him and unrealistic.
CLEAR - he thinks its understandable why people would seek it (he too would love to experience that all too coveted unconditional love) but he's very jaded about the idea of he himself being able to find unconditional love. it has less to do with if it makes sense to find 'the one' and more 'but who would ever love me' ya feel.
πHow do they feel about the concept of βlove at first sightβ? Do they believe in it?
PIPER - she doesn't really think its real but she's also like who am i to deny other people's expriences. so for herself no, but she believes other people can experience it.
DEUX - she has experienced it so she's gotta believe it LMAO
SAN - she thinks its possible, but its not something they ever have or ever will experience LMAO.
FORTE - he doesn't think its real because love itself takes time to build. he hasn't experienced it at all.
CLEAR - he doesn't think its possible though he has lowkey experienced it. he wouldn't call it 'love' its more attraction and draw at first sight, but love itself he thinks takes more time to grow.
πAre they aromantic? Have they considered it?
i will say generally, most of them haven't considered an Actual sexuality label (like even in clear's case he doesn't say "i'm gay!" when he comes out or whatever or to himself, he just knows he prefers men) -- this is because I Personally haven't thought about how they label sexuality and preferences and shit. however, i will answer this question and those similar to it with our world terminology pff
PIPER - honestly no she hasn't thought about it, but i think she'd probably fall somewhere on the spectrum. its hard to say where tbh, but her experience of romantic attraction is really hard to distinguish from platonic and kinship affections and is honestly only really distinguished by if she finds someone attractive in a sexual sense? but that also causes difficulties, because she rarely finds people attractive that often enough to find it a distinguishing enough factor in wanting to do something about it? if i HAD to put a label on pipes i think i'd broadly say greyromantic or something like that. somewhere on the spectrum but its complicated.
DEUX - nope not at all. she's very romantic lol.
SAN - EXTREMELY aromantic but it does take them awhile to realize that this was a thing they were allowed to feel.
FORTE - nope he hasn't considered it and he isn't either.
CLEAR - nope he hasn't considered it nad he's not either.
βAre they loveless? [for an aromantic perspective on lovelessnessΒ check out this essay]
PIPER - despite my prev answer ramblings, nah she's not loveless.
DEUX - nope
SAN - very very loveless, and actually that essay is very close to their reasoning why they're loveless. its not wholly the same; their parents didn't claim to love her at all, but the concept of having to do special deeds and be worthy of getting love, attention, and affection damaged them so greatly that they can't conceptualize the idea of loving anything let alone anyone.
FORTE - nope
CLEAR - nope. though it interests me as to why he's not because he and san have a very similar upbringing. i think it is decidedly how they conceptualize the abuse that they went through: clear knows that his anxiety about being gay and his distrust of people and what he went through are all because his parents--specifically his father--suck ass. he knows and recognizes that he needs to work on himself to let go of the ideologies that his parents instilled in him, and he doesn't presume that everyone who claims to love him is going to treat him like that. so yes, he feels love, and he desperately wants to feel like someone loves him BECAUSE of the abuse he suffered. but san can't trust love and anything she can't trust, she cuts off. obviously trauma doesn't have to be the only reason that you're loveless, however i think the two of them are fascinating in how their abuse shaped their conceputualization of love.
πWhere do they draw the line between friendship and romance, if at all?
PIPER - she doesn't really. if she can't be friends with you then she damn sure doesn't want to date you
DEUX - usually the line comes in how far physical affection goes for her, she wouldn't want to make out with or have sex with her friends so that's strictly a romantic thing to her
SAN - if i conflate romance with sexual desires for the sake of having a san answer, the difference for san is actually lowkey the same though she doesn't Mind having sex with people she's friendly with once you get to a certain level of friend status in her mind (especially in terms of how comfortable she feels being vulnerable around you) then they'll have no interest in wanting to fuck you bc they wouldn't want to make that more complicated.
FORTE - the line for him is attraction. he's not attracted to friends the same way he is to potential romantic partners and this is mostly in a physical sense. ie: he's not attracted to san or piper so on his end he would never think of wanting to romance them, but they are friends he grows to love and care about.
CLEAR - romance is a combination of gender preference, attraction to them, and comfortability being vulnerable while friendship to him is just vulnerability and humor/care.
π’Are they polyamorous? Have they considered it?
PIPER - not really i think she'd find that too much work LMAO. she'd rather just everyone be friends without the romantic element if its that serious
DEUX - no she's strictly monogamous. she hasn't really considered it? but that's bc the idea, despite the cultural normalcy of it, is so foreign to her. great for thee but not for me energy.
SAN - they are technically polyamorous though they would use the term poly-sexual (not the sexuality but like poly=multi+sexual) for themselves versus amorous bc amorous (to them) implies love and romantic connections and they're mostly about sex.
FORTE - he is! he's known for most of his life since he was old enough to start thinking about that stuff. but his parents like many people in terrae were pretty open with explaining it to him and whatnot
CLEAR - it's complicated? it would take him a lot of growing to get to that point but he does/will consider it.
π«How would they feel if, in a monogamous relationship, their partner asked them to try polyamory?
PIPER - she wouldn't really be into it so she'd break up with them LMAO. she'd be down to still be friends tho lol
DEUX - it would crush her self esteem to be honest especially if it came out of nowhere or wasn't brought up in the beginning of the relationship. she wouldn't assume that they lied to be with her or anything, she would assume that there was something wrong with Her and that she did something wrong and it'd just be a mess. it'd probably take her friends (piper and san mostly) being like GIRL GET UP to help her leave the person for her own sake
SAN - i mean san wouldn't be in a monogamous relationship in the first place so it'd likely be the opposite that would throw them for a loop. if someone she was sleeping with suddenly wanted to make them exclusive and pursue like a closed relationship she would be like super weirded out by it. the way around this would be if the other person just stopped sleeping with other people and didn't say anything, and then san also did the same, and they were "exclusive" without labeling it. that would be fine (this also kind of happens but i'm still toying with it lol)
FORTE - he would be down with it like i was waiting for this fuck yeah PFF. he'd already be ready with the rules and open communication and all that jazz. he's poly but he doesn't like Need it if that makes sense? like if he really liked someone he'd be cool with a monogamous relationship but if they wanted to open up he's also down with that.
CLEAR - depending on how they asked would determine how comfortable he was with it. he would rather have someone meet him where he's at and explain their experiences with polyamory and why they think they could or should give it a try for their relationship or open the floor to him to think about it and then come back to them when he was ready or interested in trying. if they try to guilt trip him or do ultimatums and shit then he would just break up immediately and then drink himself into a coma later.
ποΈDo they have a hard time separating their romantic feelings from other kinds of love? Which ones?
PIPER - as mentioned, can't/doesn't really have clear distinct boundaries between platonic and romantic affection.
DEUX - all her feeling boundaries are very distinct
SAN - all her feeling boundaries are very distinct, but in the sense that they don't fuck with romantic feelings so usually if someone treats her in a certain way and it makes them feel icky, that's probably romance and they don't like that pff.
FORTE - he can separate his romantic feelings from others but he doesn't really like to--viewing your partners as both friends and romantic tends to make stronger bonds in his opinion
CLEAR - all his feeling boundaries are very distinct
βοΈDo they often feel like theyβre βdoing love wrongβ in their relationships? Anything specific?
PIPER - kind of? especially with the person she does fall for tm she had a hard time for a long time figuring out what made them different/special from other people and why she was feeling the way she did. she lucked out with them being very "however you feel about me, i care about you and want to build something with you" about it. but its mostly because romantic gestures don't really come naturally to her so she's very "lmao?" about them. she never starts really feeling like she's doing it wrong until other people make her question it tho ://
DEUX - not really? in a more meta way she feels like there's no wrong way to feel love as long as you're respectful and caring towards the object of your affection
SAN - she did feel this way growing up, ngl. it didn't plague her as much as wanting approval from her parents or anything, but even that was laced with a 'i don't really want 'love' from them even though you could classify 'praise' and 'approval' as love. but affection isn't really what she ever wanted, she literally has always just wanted acknowledgement for their effort and hard work, which to them is different. even though this isn't the best way to look at it, validation seeking to them is more about stroking their own ego and less about feeling like the other people that are doing the stroking care about them specifically. the main reason they wanted that approval from their parents is bc they spent her entire childhood comparing them to their sister and they hated that shit. so yeah, for awhile they kinda assumed they were doing something 'wrong' in any type of love-centered relationships when turns out, they're just loveless lmao.
FORTE - he questions it only when his affections or care is rebuked or not reciprocated. and then it becomes less about is he doing love itself wrong, but more, what is he not seeing about what this person needs or wants that he isn't prioritizing. he prides himself in general about being a very attentive lover and being an observant person in general, so if he's missing the mark its a little bit of his own pride that makes him want to figure out why or what he's doing "wrong"
CLEAR - alllllll the time, he feels like he's doing everything wrong because he's terrified of people leaving him or hating him so he second guesses himself a lot with any relationship but especially romantic ones. he's much better at them than he gives himself credit for but if he ever does anything slightly incorrect he's freaking out eufdsjk
πDo they often prioritize romance and love in their life? To the detriment of other relationships?
PIPER - not at all
DEUX - not really--it would be easy for her to if she wasn't so religious tbh and that devotion to religion is sorta what keeps everything else in her life in line
SAN - NOPE
FORTE - nope
CLEAR - nope
π‘Are they a jealous partner?
PIPER - she's not jealous so much as she's like... territorial. she doesn't care what her partner is doing or who they're with but she doesn't like it when people think they have a chance with her partner, if that makes sense? she wouldn't be mad if someone flirted with her partner and said partner turned them down and it was a polite interaction, but she does have an issue with someone implying that they would be better with her partner than she would be and that they should break up or whatever, then the gloves are off.
DEUX - KINDA..... she feels bad that she can be sometimes and she knows that it can be a bit irrational. but she never acts out on her jealousy, she usually just holds everything in.
SAN - funnily enough she can be but its not really over like.... the relationship itself? its more like she needs validation and if someone she cares about the opinion of gives it to someone else instead of them, they can get really pissy about it.
FORTE - not at all really. not to say he doesn't feel jealousy but he knows if he does feel that way that means he needs to talk to his partner about something that he feels like he's missing in the relationship or go get that need met in another way somehow.
CLEAR - oh he's horrifically jealous and that is the one thing that he doesn't really have any shame about admitting. its driven a lot by his trust issues and trauma and all that, but like many of his emotions he runs away and bottles them up so that other people don't have to deal with him. if a partner pushed his buttons too many times he's more likely to ghost because it was pissing him off rather than talk about it whoops.
π₯Are they jealous of any of their friendsβ or family membersβ relationships?
PIPER - not really? later on she does have a particular relationship that she does get kind of jealous of, but its less jealousy outright and more fomo
DEUX - she was jealous of her brother and his first love's relationship when she heard about it for a variety of reasons, but mainly because she was still sore about her brother hating her guts and suddenly acting like a better person around his love than he was towards her. she also is kind of jealous of clear and forte's closeness but she doesn't talk about it much except with piper.
SAN - she's jealous of the support system that her sister has and the fact that she has one at all and made one easily, versus how san has always had to face everything alone. but she's not really jealous of her sister's romantic partnership cuz Ew.
FORTE - its not in a negative manner but he moreso admires the relationship that his parents have; they've been together for years and traveled much of the world together and have had many other lovers and partners shared and separate amongst each other, but they've always been each other's anchor and he really wants that kind of thing for himself.
CLEAR - pretty much any healthy romantic relationship clear harbors a small degree of jealousy over the people involved being able to be comfortable feeling authentically themselves and being able to express that kind of vulernability with another person. he wants that but he doesn't feel like he can have it or deserves it so he yearns from afar
π₯Are they often left behind in love? Were they single and watching all their friends get married?
PIPER - pipes ends up single by choice, and though it can sting occasionally, she made this decision for herself and she's okay with it.
DEUX - deux is also technically single by choice, though she does end up developing a kind of qpr later after The Events. she does yearn for that kind of romantic relationship in some ways that she missed out on but fate had other plans for her.
SAN - they're often left behind but they're perfectly ok with it because they don't view it as being left but life paths simply diverging.
FORTE - he's not often, though not many of his close friends get married and whatnot. most of his friends have been in changing relationships and so has he so he's sort of with the crowd on this.
CLEAR - not necessarily is he being left behind by anyone he knows, but he feels like for a long time that he will be because no one deals with the same shame and hurt he deals with. he does get over this feeling but it takes time.
π€·ββοΈWould they be happy without romantic love in their life?
PIPER - yep! there's plenty of things she can be happy and excited for that don't involve a partnership
DEUX - she'll learn to be, even if its hard
SAN - absolutely LMAO.
FORTE - he can be! he wouldn't prefer it but he can be!
CLEAR - honestly probably not--for him it is something really valuable to him even if he's such a hot mess about it
πHow important is physical attraction to their romantic relationships?
PIPER - not the end all be all, but it definitely is important to helping her distinguish if its romantic or platonic
DEUX - important but not like top five
SAN - despite mostly going for sexual partnerships, its not that important to her. whats more important to her is if she feels comfortable being vulnerable around you--which to be clear doesn't necessarily indicate demisexualism; they don't have to know someone well they just have to be comfortable around them.
FORTE - important enough and he'll admit to it lmao.
CLEAR - important but not like a dealbreaker.
π―ββοΈAre sex and romance conflated in their culture? How does this impact them?
generally speaking because of how bonding works in their culture the two are completely separate and not conflated on paper. of course, family to family and region to region have slightly different outlooks on this as a whole, which can lead to different relationships with it but overall they aren't conflated. the only one who is really affected by this is DEUX, mostly bc she's strictly monogamous, so even though society is as it is, she goes against the grain. SAN and CLEAR are culturally (due to eros) pushed towards monosexualism, that doesn't necessarily conflate with monogamy: romance isn't required, children are. this affects both of them because neither of them want children and clear is gay so any relationship he got in wouldn't produce heirs anyway so its not considered 'legitimate'. like, even if san and clear got together for appearances sake in eros, it wouldn't work because no one cares about their romantic compatability, only if they're having babies tm.
π₯΄How often do they expect sex in a romantic relationship? Is it a deal-breaker if expectations arenβt met?
PIPER - assumes its a key component but she's fine either way if its not happening. she's ambivalent about sex in a its cool if we do idc if we don't kind of way.
DEUX - she doesn't expect sex, but she does imply that she really wants it to be a thing and while if she loved someone enough it wouldn't break a relationship, it would cause strain for her that she wouldn't know how to navigate tbh.
SAN - the only kinds of relationships they have are sexual so its Kinda important LMAO
FORTE - doesn't expect it, but he's definitely going to seek another partnership that does have a sexual component if that's the case. if his partner had an issue with that then he'd break up with them lol. its less about i HAVE to have sex with you particular person and more an acknowledgment of having sexual needs and he's fine finding it elsewhere if his partner wasn't comfortable reciprocating, cuz that doesn't change how he feels about them.
CLEAR - for him its sort of a non negotiable cuz why have it be romantic if not adding that too? he wants to be intimate with his partner otherwise why bother lol.
π
ββοΈHow would they feel about being in a sexless relationship?
PIPER - she's fine with it!
DEUX - she'd get used to it but she definitely would feel disappointed.
SAN - yeah naur wouldn't be a thing
FORTE - he's fine with it, he'd just have side hoes JKJK BUT LOWKEY PFF
CLEAR - nah he's good on that he'd nope out.
πDo they like romance as a genre? In books, movies, games, etc.?
PIPER - not really, but in general pipes isn't much of a media person overall. she's more about athletics.
DEUX - she LOVES it its her favorite genre
SAN - not a huge fan unless its causing people to die bc they love the drama.
FORTE - likes it but not his favorite
CLEAR - likes it but not his favorite
β
Do they have a relationship they can look up to as a positive example of romantic love?
PIPER - kiba and eryn
DEUX - her parents, dion and fiametta before The Incident tm
SAN - Technically jagoda and their sister but they never would lmao
FORTE - his parents
CLEAR - NOPE :)
πDo they have a relationship thatβs a perfect example of βwhat not to doβ in their life?
PIPER - not really
DEUX - dion and erik (author's note: they do get around to getting together but MAN the way we got here was so toxic and a hot mess)
SAN - her parents
FORTE - not that he can think of
CLEAR - his parents lmao
π€What are their βhang-upsβ or insecurities about love and romance?
PIPER - why someone would want that with her. but not really in an insecure way but she's not really a romantic sort, so she doesn't really get people who are attracted to her romantically, it legitimately confuses her cuz she feels like other people could or would be a better partner lmao. not that she won't try but it doesn't come naturally
DEUX - that she's always going to be someone's second choice and no one will ever really want her first
SAN - hang ups about romance are that why romance pff
FORTE - he has hang ups about communication sometimes--he worries that entering a new relationship will cause issues and that he or his partner or both can't or won't talk about it which will lead to resentment. he actively tries to avoid that.
CLEAR - i've spent this whole thing talking about his insecurities my guy is an anxious self loathing mess what ISN'T he insecure about lbr.
π°Is marrying for love a rarity in their culture, or commonplace?
marrying for love is extremely common, its not out of the ordinary. also as an aside didn't feel like answering a lot of the cultural questions bc i don't feel like figuring shit out on the fly about how tcol courtships go (like i know bits and pieces) so maybe i'll come back around to that at another time lol.
π₯£How does their culture view a βserial dater,β or someone who refuses to settle down?
its pretty normal, there's a lot of people like that just bc of how bonds are viewed.
βDo they care about peopleβs βbody count,β or how many relationships theyβve been in?
PIPER - not really, she'd only care if an ex was in their life to an intertwined degree cuz then she'd be wary of it
DEUX - she'd care in a sense that she'd feel bad bc she has no experience and so she'd worry about how she measured up
SAN - doesn't care
FORTE - doesn't care
CLEAR - doesn't care
πΆWould they ever be in a relationship with someone who already had children?
PIPER - NOPE. piper loves kids but wants to be a cool aunt, not an actual mother figure lol. so kids are off the table for her and she wouldn't date someone with a kid
DEUX - she would! she wants children of her own and so seeing someone have a good relationship with their kid is a huge turn on and green flag to her
SAN - they don't care (since they're just interested in sex) but don't expect them to baby said child bc they aren't going to
FORTE - he wouldn't mind! he doesn't really have strong feelings about it one way or the other and wouldn't influence his decision
CLEAR - nah... he doesn't like kids really
π€±If they ever ended up single with children, how would they feel about entering a new relationship?
this is a crack au for most of them pff
PIPER - she wouldn't until her kid was grown up. she's a all or nothing person so she wouldn't want to introduce a parental figure into her kid's life unless she was sure about them and their intentions so the easiest way to avoid this is to just not date until kid is grown :D
DEUX - VERY carefully. her kids would always be her top priority and anyone who didn't respect them would get the boot
SAN - she would sleep around still but no partner would ever meet her kids, the lives would be completely separate and they'd protect their kids fiercely.
FORTE - carefully and he'd only introduce his kids to long term partners (so 5+ years dating) lol
CLEAR - he would be so worried about being a good dad he wouldn't have time to date LMAO
πWould they date a widow? Would they date again if they were ever widowed?
PIPER - she would date a widow(er) but she wouldn't date after being widowed
DEUX - yes to both
SAN - not really able to be widowed if you weren't commited in the first place. but they'd fuck a widow as long as they weren't in the boohoo i miss my partner stage bc if someone EVER compared them to their late partner she might kill them.
FORTE - he would to both
CLEAR - he would to both, but dating a widow with a bit of caution bc he'd be anxious about measuring up
π©ΉDo they often give romantic advice to their friends or family? Is itΒ goodΒ advice?
PIPER - nope, but she's a good listener! she readily and freely admits she has no good advice, but if really pushed she'd try. its not bad advice, just kinda awkward and usually pretty intense.
DEUX - she doesn't often but its usually very thoughtful and good advice
SAN - she does often because she's opinionated PFF. its actually surprisingly decent advice for someone who has the emotional awareness of a downed tree.
FORTE - he does when asked and its usally really stellar
CLEAR - he doesn't unless pushed, but usually his go to is "disappear and never return" so... debatable on good advice or not
πDo they often seek romantic advice from friends or family? Has it helped
PIPER - nope she likes to figure stuff out on her own, but she will listen if people give her advice unprompted. it has helped a little bit in its own way she thinks
DEUX - she does! it definitely helps bc she can overthink a bit when it comes to romance so it helps her sort through her options
SAN - nopeeeeeeee she'd rather fall on her own sword
FORTE - not usually but he usually asks people for a listening ear when he's troubled if it gets to that point. it can help to have someone validate or criticize his thoughts if he's getting too in his head about things and clarity helps.
CLEAR - nope he's too awkward he'd rather die LMAOOOOO due to the kind of friends he has tho he tends to get their advice anyway pff.
8 notes
Β·
View notes
Note
I'm in my thirties and I've been reading fic and been in fandom since I was eleven and discovered fics after searching Harry Potter online after reading the books that were out then and seeing the second movie. People shipping their fave with a character they seem to despise has always been a thing that has baffled me. Why not just ship them with a character you DO like or even an OC? They seem to hate Buck if he isn't kissing Eddie's ass or just dares to show an emotion.
They really are. I also love Buck, but I can admit he has flaws. Same with other characters from different pieces of media who are my faves. Eddie stans truly refuse to do that, though. They call him their precious perfect princess and mean it, they defend his every move, even when it's objectively awful and something they'd hate on any other character for. They refuse to even acknowledge that he didn't even have to work to gain back Christopher's trust.
Oh, exactly! It always confuses me, because Eddie wasn't the one who almost died during the street fighting era. Someone else almost did, at EDDIE'S hand. Eddie has anger issues and genuinely, he should be forced into more therapy and anger management before he's even officially allowed back into the 118, imo, but that's just me.
Omg we're twinsies, nonnie! I also am in my thirties and have been in fandom spaces and reading fic since I was like 10 or 11 (I started with Naruto AND Harry Potter lol). I LOVE you ask, 'cause YES TO ALL OF IT.
And the thing is that buddie is not even a case of "ooh, I'm gonna ship my fave with this awful character in an enemies to lovers kinda thing just for shits and giggles" (Drarry comes to mind, since you mentioned HP). They just DON'T LIKE BUCK. Plain and simple. And I also don't understand it.
-> They call him their precious perfect princess and mean it <- This right here. 'Cause of course I'll say that Buck is "my perfect little baby and no one touch him!" but in reality I acknowledge that he's a flawed, imperfect grown ass man (and actually I'd love it if the writers would treat him as such, thanks).
And listen, personally, I LOVE those flawed, fucked up characters SO MUCH! A lot of the times those end up being my favorite characters because they can be incredibly interesting... But Eddie is not interesting in his flaws because it's just... stagnant. It's been the same flaws and the same patterns and the same lack of accountability that still results in his problems being solved somehow. No, thanks.
The fact that they not only defend and justify, but lately even romanticize Eddie's anger issues and agressive behavior is unsettling, tbh. I think there's a very clear difference between "I love how fucked up this character is and their flaws are delicious and I wanna disect them, but I know their personality/behavior is not okay" and "ackshually, all of their flaws and negative behaviors are totally justifyed because they're just a traumatized sad boi". You feel me? And BoBs fall into the latter category, sadly.
12 notes
Β·
View notes
Text
Misclicktober Day 1 -- Crossover
Qsmp x Genshin Impact (HEAR ME TF OUT CHAT )
okokok i will admit i did totally start early because i got immediate motivation and ideas which does not happen often- and initially i was just gonna like. idk, outfit swap haikaveh (genshin ship) and slimeriana but alhaitham's outfit was too detailed for my liking so i just made them their own designs!!
and then i got rlly carried away for the next few days as my brain slowly deteriorated (i hadn't gone outside in a week, my will to continue with this strange AU faded after I took a walk) and uhh..
A lot of rambling (I tried to make it coherent for anyone who doesn't play genshin) and other little drawings beneath the cut !!
Charlie comes from Mondstadt (based off germany, thought it would be the closest fit, they also really like wine there so charlie can still be an alchoholic lmao !!), and like quite a few others there, he is a bard! His element is dendro, mostly just for the sake of it being green lmaoo-
Then, Mariana comes from Natlan (based on the Aztecs, and I believe q!Mariana is an Aztec god of some kind?). I haven't thought much about his character ngl.. I have a bit of a theory, based on the small amount of info I know about Natlan, that no one except the archon is supposed to be able to weild pyro, but... idk, maybe Mariana used to be the archon? They don't have to die to be replaced in Natlan, just defeated in battle, from what I've gathered. It could also be a reason why he leaves Natlan (no one from there ever leaves, for the sake of some kind of tradition that i forgor), to avoid embarassment or something. idk man. (i say "idk" a lot in this help)
ANYWAYS.
Mariana has shit defense and health, so he desperately need someone to keep him alive. Meaning he greatly depends on Charlie, the only person willing to travel around with and take care of him.
Just one issue: Charlie is a nuisance.
...theyre in love trust.
(jaiden as aether in the background, just because she's played genshin before and i had a premade design to go off of- theres also a very specific npc couple in the fontaine story that gave me CRAZY misclick duo vibes (aka in denial about being a couple, arguing, everyone thinks their using their jobs as a cover for being a couple, they don't want to be seen together in news stories n stuff even though they're work partners-) that i felt the need to mention)
When Charlie does actually end up agreeing to heal Mariana's dying ass, worry not, for he still finds the best ways to be annoying!
I actually came up with the concept of his elemental skill--similar to Barbara, a hydro healer, he would play his lyre and sing, summoning a bunch of little slimes (not elemental ones of any kind, they may have some dendro effects, but they're not actual dendro slimes or anything- if that makes sense-) that latch onto the person's injuries and heal them up !! when health is full, maybe they move to attack enemies or somethin' idk lol
And, speaking of like.. abilities n stuff, I feel like Mariana would have a burst not too different from Diluc's, making big ass wings out of fire or something
annyywayyyss, lets take a look at the rest of the family, yeah??
(i tried to make sunny's hair like.. these little star poms that i found on tiktok but i think i failed miserably HELPP)
We know almost nothing about Snezhnya, but I really think Juanaflippa would be from there, becuase- well-
One of the NPCs, Katheryne, who does a nurse joy kinda thing and is magically at every city at once, we end up finding out is from Snezhnya, and isn't an actual person. She's a bionic puppet that can be recreated. I figured that, maybe, Codeflippa could be some form of a prototype, copying the form of another human being. Why they would chose Flippa for this, I have absolutely no idea, but uh.. Yep !!
Juana would eventually flee from Snezhnya, taking Sunny with her, and I'd imagine that in her effort to protect her younger sister, she would end up gaining an Anemo vision! (She needs to control air currents, it's a necessity to me. She must become the coolest backflipper ever.)
Later on, I'd imagine that Sunny would gain a Geo vision. Her and Navia would probably be best friends.
also i just-
they'd have fun with bombs. juana would absolutely adore klee, and vice versa. mass destruction ensues in mondstadt.
I've never drawn like any genshin character before, they're all SO CONVOLUTED but I felt the urge to have the misclick kiddos interact with the House of the Hearth because I fcusking LOVE THESE FATUI GUYS HSKJNCKS sunny would love lyney and lynette's magic shows, i feel like juana and lynette.. they'd probably be able to trauma bond or something, then.. I think Freminet would probably find Pepito at the bottom of the sea while diving, idk. I wanna make Pepito a melusine (species kinda similar to like, zora from legend of zelda, but they know almost nothing of human culture) for some reason..
Arlecchino would not fw Charlie or Mariana at all, only reason she's here is so that she can keep watch of her children
if you actually read allat, 1) that was almost 1k words, and 2) we're gonna get married. i'm proposing rn. on one knee. ring in hand. congrats. :)
#Misclicktober#qsmp#charlie slimecicle#elmariana#writing#alternate universe#qsmp fanfiction#genshin impact#genshin oc#kinda??#juanaflippa#qsmp juanaflippa#qsmp sunnysideup#pepito#sunnysideup#crossover#art#slimeriana#alr thats enough tags#lets get you home#/ref#monetmightart
27 notes
Β·
View notes
Note
I might be wrong but wasn't it LW that named Daphne a diamond of the first water, bc the Queen said she was flawless? Therefore launching her as the most desired woman in the ton. And starting the whole a "diamond" needs to be named? Then I've always thought in season 2 LW timed her edition to come out as Eloise is presented, specifically to interrupt the proceedings because she knew Eloise was uncomfortable. And the Queen would be completely distracted sometime before Eloise had to go through. Could be wrong but with LW I'm reminded of the song "one night in Bangkok" bc of the line "thank God I'm only watching the game, controlling it." I love when Violet finds the tea on Lord B, and says "we'll talk" bc it's what women do. A flurry of gossip later It saved Daphne from a horrible fate of a loveless marriage to that gross man (he used his status to get a servant of his pregnant and then abandons her and the child. Was this servant girl allowed to even say no to her employer with power? To preserve her innocence/reputation). It seems as if it's the only way a woman could influence her life or make a change.
Also Pen often sets the rumors straight, when others go too far in their speculation and it could blow up as something else entirely. The ton trusts LW's word bc she didn't lie. If she hadn't said what she'd said about Eloise it could have been worse. It softened the social blow, it was merely a smaller transgression though, not as bad as her and her whole family ruined which if it had been exposed elsewhere it would have. The men would have been fine but the the others prospects of marriage would have been damaged or non existent. Same with Marina, the Featherington's had to be socially distanced from even knowing what she was up to, or they would be ruined. It wasn't that she was cruel to Marina, to me, but loves her sisters enough to save them from what Marina did (I can understand her motives, but her cruelty towards Pen and callous way she marked Colin as an easy target upset me). My favorite real life example of how people gossip that could be good, is Georgiana, the Duchess of Devonshire. Married at 17 in the 1770s, to "the only man in England not in love with his wife" and she was the main Whig party hostess, meetings, parties, and she even canvassed for votes. Parlor room behind the scenes politics. But the downside to gossip is that opposing sides will try to defame through gossip too, and caricature depicting the Duchess as an indecent woman who'd kiss men for votes in order to get Fox elected. That's a very quick overview of an amazing, yet flawed woman (her gambling). But it demonstrates for me at a time when women had very few rights, if you were in a higher social class, through gossip you can start change. Georgiana, as a Whig hostess, as a fashion icon of her time, a woman with the "common touch" very popular with the people, even though she was "her Grace" helped gain traction for her causes, wider rights, abolition and supported American colonial independence during the war. Whether it's a bigger or smaller issue, gossip can be both good and bad. The only time I really dislike it is when it's used to just purposely hurt others, instead of informing or questioning social outdated norms, its just a personal attack designed to hurt someone cruelly (Cressida making remarks about how many children Violet had and what that meant about her and her family...ooo I was not ok with Cressida there or her mama lol) .
I think Pen is sometimes judged too harshly, she'd been ridiculed and ignored in a society that already didn't value her as much as a man. Her future prospects to Her seemed dim, bc all Her life..... words like what Marina said, have been said to Her. Her worth was her family's good name and who she married, how much money they had. So she took some control and power for herself in the only way she could. Through gossip. Sorry I've rambled so long! This is an interesting topic though. π
Hi, anon.
I love this analysis. I agree with everything you said here.
I think I'm going to rewatch season specially because of this topic. I want to do an analysis about the nature of gossip and how affect the characters. Maybe more of one part because I think it's going to be long.
I think gossip has a force and doesn't need to be bad. It's neutral and it can show the real nature of the person who's using it. And like you said, Pen never lies. She says the truth, sometimes she even gave proof and her intentions were always good. She does it because nobody else want to see it. Nobody wants to listen the truth, she tried, and nobody was listening to her.
Colin never wanted to see Marina didn't loved him, because he didn't care, because he didn't loved her either. He was lying to himself. Eloise didn't want to see why Pen wrote about her, because she didn't wanted to accept Pen advertised about it many times, and she didn't listen. Daphne and Violet were practically saved by her, the marriage for Daphne, the Violet's reputation. We have so many moments of her helping them.
Gossip is a tool. A tool used women without any other weapon to protect themselves. I think it's a relationship between the female aspect of it and why society sees it like something wrong. Because words can hurt, and yes, they can be used to shame, and make damage, but gossip is a the weapon of the people who's not going to be heard otherwise.
Thank you so much for you message.
#bridgerton#bridgerton s3#polin#bridgerton polin#bridgerton spoilers#penelope bridgerton#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#eloise bridgerton#violet bridgerton
28 notes
Β·
View notes
Text
Season 2: Episode 15 "Lost & Found"
previous // next
I find it so highly unlikely that all that crap is Jess's. If it can barely fit in Luke's apartment how the hell would it have fit in Jess and Lizz's New York place along with Liz's stuff? Especially with all the implications that Liz wasn't particularly financially stable so I assume they had to move around, no way Jess took all that shit with him. I read in a fanfic that Liz just sent random shit she didn't want/ex boyfriend's stuff along with Jess's and that's why there was so much so that's my new headcannon which I'm stealing from them.
Lorelai and Jess not getting along is interesting tbh bcs I would say they're pretty similar characters, Lorelai is more loud and self-centred where Jess is more broody and destructive, but they have so many things in common. They both have parental issues, they both love Rory, they both love Luke, they both have ADHD (they told me themselves, trust me), they're both sarcastic and snarky, they both like movies, etc. But yeah anyway idk.
I think some strides could've been made in this episode because Lorelai was being pretty friendly when Jess arrived and Jess didn't seem outright hostile, more like uncomfortable. They even seemed to be getting along before the dumb bracelet thing π I love their little chat, Jess informing us Stars Hollow High is still there (thank god, we were worried), Jess talking about throwing a ball at a jock's head and admitting he's not great at small talk, which I think could only help in furthering his relationship with Lorelai because it helps explain a little of his initial awkwardness and comes off as honest, possibly beginning to gain Lorelai's trust. Until the following events of course.
I despise Lorelai coming in with accusations immediately, she doesn't ask, her mind is made up. Imagine if Jess hadn't taken the bracelet, I mean we know he did, but ugh. The implication that he broke into their house to steal Rory's bracelet maliciously is insane though, Lorelai is seriously unhinged. She needs to see a therapist, but not for her, for the sake of the people around her. Jess picked up the bracelet that Rory dropped and kept it. Morally correct? No. But I don't even know if he knew it was made by Dean, more likely the girl he kind of liked left something behind and he kept it as a sort of souvenir. As soon as he realised how important this bracelet was to Rory and how distressed she was over losing it he returned it, it's really that simple.
Jess has commited a few acts of petty theft but I really just don't think that his intentions were to hurt anyone in this case. Lorelai is borderline delusional, she needs to come back to reality asap. Lorelai consistently gets involved in her daughter's relationships in a way that does WAY more harm than good. She may act like a fifteen year old most of the time but she needs to realise that she's an adult and Jess, Rory and Dean are a bunch of teenagers who need to be able to make their own mistakes and learn from them without her unnecessarily getting involved.
I love scenes where Jess is too genuinely shocked or any other emotion to be snarky and I always get a little kick out of Luke breaking the wall and Jess standing there like :o However, I do have to agree with what I've seen some other people saying that it maybe would've been good for Jess to have his own room, his own private space where he could just hang out and have a little privacy and, hey, maybe the wall would've muffled the music he's always blasting. Especially because Jess seems fairly introverted, only ever really talks to Rory and Luke, so maybe he would've benefited from somewhere where he could recharge his social battery.
Like, there was a period when I was a teen where I wasn't allowed to close my door and my mum slept in my room with me and I had no privacy and it was incredibly detrimental to my mental health. I'm still afraid of closing the door in case my dad barges in to yell at me. Ig it was a little different bcs I was a 'suicide risk' or whatever so there was some reason for it but with Jess really there's no reason he shouldn't get his own space when they expand the apartment.
Other thoughts:
"Hey, Luke are you being attacked by your possessions again?" Is one of Lorelai's funnier lines imo. Along with:
"You have a sock on your shoulder. Is it helping you look?"
"...Well, his people skills are really improving."
"Give me the book." "Give me the pancake!"
Damn, Lorelai is on fire today. Too bad she sucks in the second half of the episode.
Jess needing the music on to sleep is so real of him tbh.
"Great, then we can hold hands and skip afterwards." "Stop saying that. π"
"Oh, Jess... You're here." Gee, try and sound more disgusted, Lorelai.
When Jess says the verbal thing comes and goes ig it could be interpreted as him being sarcastic but I never interpret it that way. He's so real for that.
"What make you think I care about you?" You're fooling nobody, Jess.
I'm so gay for Gypsy.
#alex says shit#gilmore girls#gilmore girls review#lost and found#jess mariano#luke danes#liz danes#lorelai gilmore#rory gilmore#dean forester#gypsy
7 notes
Β·
View notes
Note
Honestly, you are like the most based person ever. A Martian Manhunter fan and a MAWS critic? F YEAH!
I'm so disappointed with MAWS' Lois :( Her romance with Clark could've been so good. SO GOOD. But they decided to go for fan service instead. She just gives off Lena (from cwsg) vibes and that's never a good thing.
Speaking of Supergirl, what's your opinion on the show? And on the show's portrait of J'onn. It baffles me how much hate the show got for the same things fans are willing to overlook now on MAWS. Aren't those some double standards, geez...
Aw shucks thank you! 2 incredibly niche but based things to be...
Sob! Call it the ace in me but whenever people think MAWS!Clois have chemistry because they're easily amused by seeing hot characters undress I lose life force. I didn't witness a couple that grew mutual respect and affection, I saw an insta-crush that led to Lois becoming so entitled to a guy she'd known for less than a week to the point of demanding full transparency of his private life before they even started dating. And then the narrative says it's Clark's fault for having reasonable boundaries, and then they're a couple. What is this.
I've briefly talked about CW Supergirl before, but my takeaway is: if people think MAWS is genuinely good writing then they should absolutely watch CW Supergirl because it must look like high art in comparison to MAWS. Maybe people are less judgy when something's animated and that's not fair. If we want to take animation as a serious medium we should hold it to the same standard and not coddle it. As someone who watched a few eps when CW Supergirl aired and then revisited and watched the whole thing years after the show concluded, I feel that the misogyny surrounding people's discourse around the show has led to people judging the show based on a fanon idea of it rather than its own merits.
more under the cut!
CW Supergirl is a show with great highs and lows. This results in things being hit or miss. But when something hits- CW Supergirl is not given nearly enough credit as it deserves. As a Martian Manhunter fan, I believe that their take on J'onn is the most competent and well adapted in not just adapted media, but all of comics canon. That doesn't mean I like everything they did with his lore and character, but I can acknowledge that they actually bothered developing him outside of the comics/cartoon's fixation with making him mope about his Origin Story all the time. He gets to find love, have adopted daughters through Kara and Alex, reckon with what it's like to preserve aspects of a culture he doesn't fully identify with, deal with his dad going through Martian Alzheimer's disease, and most importantly MAKE PEACE WITH HIS BROTHER. CW Supergirl has hands down, the best take on Ma'alefa'ak in all of canon.
I think Lena is a great character on the show. She's dealing with the trauma of being constantly manipulated by her own family, the legacy her name carries and who she is in all that. But because the supercorp ship permeates the way people perceive the show, she's reduced to that by discourse. When Lena has drama over Kara's secret Superhero identity, it's something that's built up to and informed by trauma, trust-issues, and TIME. We are shown that she has these problems. It gets melodramatic at times, but it's still something that was built up to. Meanwhile in MAWS Lois just tells us she has daddy issues and that it's why she really needs the cute guy at work to spill all his personal info to her even though she gets to lie to him for her own personal gain multiple times. I appreciate what CW Supergirl did to bring more attention to what was an obscure character. Whenever I bump into Lena in the comics, it hasn't stacked up to the character I met on the show.
I've called this out before but while CW Supergirl isn't perfect by any means especially with their treatment of Jimmy Olsen as a love interest to Kara and a generally sidelined Black supporting character, they still discussed and acknowledged Jimmy's identity as a Black American man! Sure it was heavy handed many times, but that's way better than MAWS straight up ignoring Jimmy's Blackness and even making an unintentional jab at it!! Like cw Supergirl Jimmy knows bigotry and has experienced it. MAWS Jimmy thinks bigotry is being ghosted for a camping trip. I have seen the exact same critics call out cw Supergirl for Jimmy's treatment while gleefully thinking Jimmy's treatment in MAWS is so uwu perfect. It makes me sick! Am I going insane?? It's the double standards for me.
#askjesncin#jesncin dc meta#jesncin talks maws#both shows have terrible Asian rep tho- early Supergirl especially. Asian men dropped like flies in that show it's not even funny#I see you other asks about Supergirl- I will get to you! And I will introduce Kara into my AU eventually
44 notes
Β·
View notes
Note
How do you see Max and Neil relationship? I mean I know you ship it but why specifically? Iβd love to hear your thoughts on it!
I see them my personal fannon wise as having a really deep connection and dynamic where the lines of platonic and romantic love get blurred (when they're older) and even though they're both really terrible at communicating that verbally, and their emotions in general as people, they both just know they can be way more comfortable, honest, and vulnerable around each other than other people bc they really are each other's person. Even when I'm shipping them with other people their friendship is still greatly important in their lives.
Just a silly little HC I have but: Max is shown to be impressed with Neil's capabilities and Neil is shown to be attention and ego-driven. Even though Neil knows not to take Max's opinion too overly highly bc, c'mon it's Max, I HC Neil secretly really likes the way it feels to be "Max's exception." The asshole with few friends and is hard to impress or understand.β’
I think I've said it before but I'll say it again too much of maxneil is just ""max and his boyfriend"" rather than Max AND Neil. Max being a huge fan favorite and some fans wanting to give him a romantic partner and Neil being the closest dude in arms reach. Often just focusing on what Max can receive, how Neil feels about Max, what he can do for him, ect.
I love Neil as a character, he's my silly skrimbly and deserves his own life with intricate issues, and affection, and his own needs and flaws.
Neither one of them has endless patience!! They're both very morally grey just in different ways! I love using those aspects about them to come up with angst.
More Cannon-wise though I mentioned how Max is BIG on first impressions not only that, he's goal oriented and specifically wasn't looking for friends in the first episode. When meeting Neil for the first time this kid was: A: very openly unhappy with the situation, and B: smart. Max saw Neil as useful and felt a sensation of kinship. It wasn't until he cussed and yelled out Campbell did he also find him interesting and someone to give more respect towards, due to that sensation of kinship multiplying at the display of taking no shit and yelling at authority about it.
Max still wasn't looking for friends but Neil had showed him a side of his personality that paved a good way towards that anyways. Max trusted him pretty quickly to escape with him.
We know Neil and Nikki had both been victims of bullying, (Neil mentioning being the outcasted kid himself in the Jermy Fartz episode) so they developed a heavy clingyness to their first friend. (In the episode foreign exchange campers they're incredibly distraught he didn't want to be on their team. They're watching him and getting angry/sad about it. I honestly think this same problem they have socially comes back in the recent finale. Neil and Nikki need people to like them more than Max does, he's actively seen trying to calm them down about it.)
So where Max has a "push everybody away" method Neil and Nikki have a "hold on and never let go" to an unhealthy amount. Nikki moves past this partially, Neil doesn't.
Neil had a robot he made JUST to be his friend turn on him FOR being clingy and needy. He blinked away a TEAR when Max called him temporary. Max may have saw him as a friend first but Neil more openly held it closer to his heart.
They both have way more in common than people notice, Neil isn't really the voice of reason to Max's chaos. It depends on the day. Max can loose control of a situation he created for his own gain, Neil looses control when trying to gain attention or gain lack of it actually.
When Max thought he lost Dolph to bears Neil said hope you find him! And outed, But in camp cool kidz when Max starts an uprising after Neil gives him the idea, he's the only person to willingly stay on his side.
When Neil's AI got out of hand Max was impressed, but Neil had to drag him to help. Where as when Neil was lying about the story of Hanukkah, Max tried to give him advice and help him out.
Max both simultaneously uses Neil like a henchman sometimes, but Is impressed by his actions and capabilities. Neil is VERY attention and ego-driven. Max saying he's too dumb to find something just so Neil will happily fetch it for him is him playing on that, although it's a mean move it really shows how well he knows Neil. And even openly admits Neil knows him well too.
Max was the only person who knew/Neil trusted with his bathroom issues. (I hc Neil asks Max to whistle outside the outhouse for him and Max is like "do you know how many superstitions tell you not to whistle outside at night/j" and Neil is like neither one of us is superstitions just start that remix already istg!!!)
Both of their personalities hold so many similarities as well as alot of negative traits so they do bump heads alot, unlike Nikki's behind your back type shit talk, Neil insinuates once to his face he was smarter than Max and got a foul reaction from it.
This post is a lot more messy than the Nikki one as I can probably easily break down a timeline where Max warmed up to Nikki, but with Neil he seemed to connect with him pretty quickly, in reigny day where I mentioned he was quick to shut nikki down, in the same episode he's very driven to figure out where Neil is. Their dynamic is more complicated I think bc when Max and Neil aren't getting along it's more clear and direct and often due to their similar things. Pettiness, selfishness, egotisticalness. On the other side of the same coin they act silently attached to the hip and almost above other people together.
So I guess I ship it BC I like interpreting them with that very big understanding they have of one another, that deep rooted camaraderie, balanced out with that banter of being sassy little shits but in different ways. The potential angst of when they've already become THAT close but their problems of different moral greyness get too big.
The idea of them spending nearly every day together, and deeply loving each other but never actually saying it or expressing their affection in traditional ways, yet still feeling and knowing that love is there.
#maxneil#fictional characters#camp campbell#campcamp#camp camp#max camp camp#camp camp max#neil camp camp#camp camp neil#neil cc#cc neil#max cc#cc max#character analysis#character headcanons#fandom headcanons#headcannons#head canon#camp camp hcs#my hcs
95 notes
Β·
View notes
Text
Analyzing "Demon in the Wood" (book) - Part 2
(Part 1, Part 3, Part 4 and Part 5 btw)
Merry Christmas Eve and here have this meta to depress you cheer you up! π₯³πππ
π

Even though like calls to like he still was afraid of the darkness as a child.
And he didn't sleep for two days because of that fear.
And he was curled beneath his blanket π₯Ί
His mother didn't stop to think or ask if he needed light and be didn't want to disappoint her by saying "Can you leave it here?".
He wanted to prove to her and to himself that he's brave and he fears nothing.

No home to stay, no people to connect with.
Just with his mother, adopting new names every now and then, faking his life. And he despises this so much.
And yet Baghra dared to say "hE hAd PlEntY oF tImE tO LeArN hoW to LiE".
Yeah because he was raised on your knees, Baghra.

"They did their best to hide their tracks"
They were trying to leave nothing behind. As a child the Darkling was allowed to leave no trace, no memories of him in others.
And that reminds me: "Someone to mourn me"
Someone to remember him.
Also, it's notable that names are an important part of the Darkling's life.
- Adopted innumerable names as a child
- Held his true name close to his heart
- Kept saying Alina's name
- Trusted Alina with his name
- Refused to call Mal by his name
And I believe it was something important for him too because names were actually a vital part of his survival from the time he was born.
(So for anyone who says that he gave Alina his name out of some kind of manipulation technique, needs to stop. There's no way a person like him to give his name that easily).

The way they're thinking and hoping two different things.
Baghra hopes to gain knowledge and experience and Eryk a home and stability.
Their priorities really show their needs and characters at this point of their lives.

The way the Little Palace had all these three things π₯²
The thought of him waking up and thinking "Wait. Which name I go by now?" is so depressing and stressful. Both for Eryk and the reader.

I wonder if he really called her "Mama" at this point of his life or just Baghra with her usual grace said "You will call me by my name".
From this: "To him, she was always Mama, Madraya".
To this: "I will not fight you", said the Darkling.
"Then strike me down"
"You know I won't" π₯²

When Grisha fear and mistrust their own kind then you know that the situation is fucked up.
Baghra is extra careful 'cause she always had trust issues and made her son mistrustful as well.
It's really a dog-eat-dog world where every man is for himself and very few Grisha have made safe camps (actually the word "safe" is a stretch). And even when they do, they only let powerful Grisha to live inside.
Also, the phrase "a second Ravka" is kind of chilling. Ravka back then was divided between otkazat'sya who lived in the open and Grisha who lived in the shadows. Two different worlds and the Darkling became the first person who united them for the first time.

"Fear is a powerful ally" - DitW.
"Do you fear me, Alina?.... Fear is a powerful ally. And loyal." - Siege and Storm.
I can only imagine how many times the Darkling saw people either run away from him or wanted to use him because of his power. I bet he desired for someone to accept him as he is. To look at his shadow summoning and see it as a gift, not a curse or tool.
"I've seen what you truly are. And I've never turned away. I never will" is a phrase that he probably wanted to hear from someone too.
Wait. "Like calls to like", right? So when Aleksander was afraid of the dark, does that mean he was afraid of his powers in a way? *cries*

"Be careful what you wish for!πΆ"
He tries so hard to impress his mother and live up to her expectations. That shows a child that is raised by a strict parent who almost always shows disapproval and is never satisfied with his efforts. Those children then feel constantly like failures.
(are you sad yet, dear readers?π₯²)

What people cannot understand, they fear it. The unknown. The strange.
Baghra has been a pariah not only because of her powers but also because of her sex. So she had to toughen up and "hone" her sharp tongue too in order to make it difficult for others to boss her around or cast her out.
Sometimes I sympathize with her (but most of the times notπ).
To be honest, I find this fear kind of one-sided. I mean, Alina's power was unique too. No one else had the power to manipulate the light. And yet people liked her and were fascinated. But with Aleksander people were afraid of his power (even before he was the "Darkling"). So they showed acceptance with the power of light but not with the darkness.
Double fucking standards.π
(Of course they accepted her more easily because she was the one destined to liberate them from the Fold but still. Even if the Fold didn't exist, people would still show great favor towards Alina and not Aleksander.)
#Here's me spreading bleak vibes with this meta π€π€#SOMEBODY GET THIS KID OUT OF THIS HEARTBREAKING STORY!!#demon in the wood#demon in the wood meta#meta#the darkling meta#the darkling#pro darkling#aleksander morozova#pro aleksander morozova#grishaverse#shadow and bone#baghra morozova
33 notes
Β·
View notes
Note
I wanna know the lunaify gureshin lore please
ha ha! i'm so glad you asked!
i'm not trying to say the way their relationship is in canon is bad, because kagami just had different priorities in the story. i don't think a casual reader would think anything is missing, but i spend a lot of time thinking about these characters specifically so naturally i'd want to fill in the gaps.
right off the bat i think the way shinya introduces himself to guren is kind of... odd. it's his thing to mask his feelings and intentions, so for him to immediately overshare and dump all of that onto guren first chance he gets feels rushed and, quite frankly, out of character. even if he really wanted guren as an ally, it would have made more sense to observe a whole lot more first and try to gain his trust more slowly. imagine how much more charming it would have been if guren had thought shinya to be a spoiled hiiragi brat at first, and only slowly realised that hey, he's like me. the scene where seishiro punches him in the face would have been perfect for this. or, you know those scenes where a character accidentally lets something slip or moves in a way that reveales bruises or wounds they have and then they stand there awkwardly not knowing how to react? it's cheesy but i love fondue so it's fine.
one thing that i've seen in fanfiction a couple of times is shinya being ashamed of his past in the training facility, and intentionally never mentioning it to guren (thinking he, the selfless saviour of the ichinose, would be disgusted at his selfishness). and i really like this idea! shinya having tried so hard to be guren's friend and not wanting it to be destroyed. guren finding out and being horrified, not at shinya but at the hiiragi, because what the fuck are they doing to little children? the conversation that would have to follow after. it'd be intriguing development where they'd both have to open up and be honest. but recently as i was rereading the novels i realised that guren just... already knows about the trials. i can't even remember where exactly it was mentioned, but it's there in a side sentence, casual, without a second thought. booooo. boring. huge missed opportunity.
... which also leads into the next point. because even in resurrection, even when they call each other 'best friend', guren never really thinks about shinya. and i know how this sounds - of course he thinks about him! like, literally all the time! but what guren thinks about is how he needs him, how he wants him to live, how he doesn't want to exist without him, but he never really thinks about shinya himself. normally, you'd want to know about your best friend's life, try to be there for them, worry about their wellbeing. in canon, this is never considered. shinya doesn't ask for support, guren doesn't give it. i get that this is a really complicated issue considering that before the catastrophe they're mostly not that close and guren has like a million different problems to deal with & after the catastrophe his biggest concern is keeping shinya alive, but i did come up with a solution for this (sorry i went on a tangent there again the shinsanity is getting to me). so what shinya often does is put guren's goals and wishes above is own (be that by not being able to figure out what he wants and helping guren achieve his goals instead (canon) or quite literally being in love with him but never acting on or even acknowledging it (interpretation)). shinya knows that guren has a horrible case of saviour complex, has watched him repeatedly destroy himself to try and save someone else. so it would make total sense if he, having devoted himself to supporting guren, didn't want to become the reason he gets hurt. it would make for a horribly sad situation because there is no way guren would want to accept this but it plays right into his need to keep shinya at a distance, so there's nothing he can do about it.
let them snuggle.
just a glimpse into my dark, twisted mindπ
#i miss them so much i don't know for how much longer i can do this (has been doing this for years)#eats carpet#anyway. my view and interpretation of them has become so solidified over the years#sometimes it's insane to me that it's not canon like wdym other people have different interpretations. like what.#owari no seraph#seraph of the end#shinya hiiragi#guren ichinose#gureshin#sorry for not being active i get sad when people don't respond to my art HAGSHSJS#will the yuri gureshin ever see the light of day?#perhaps.#i could literally just post the sketch as is but nooo i don't wanna
37 notes
Β·
View notes