#when i look at all of this in hindsight

[workingforitallthetime]

what i wrote in 2023

"fic":

way too bright for me (27K, luca/johnny) was an enjoyable vehicle for a bunch of vampire/werewolf/etc. whimsy and my team 101 fondness, but it didn't necessarily have a new challenge for me and i think that's why i feel kind of meh about it in hindsight. (that and how the protagonist milkshake ducked himself literally the same day i posted it.)

drawn arrows unseen (18K, mason/connor) was actually a much better learning experience even though i cheated and skipped the hardest parts. i learned a lot from making myself write/post an installment every single day! i really really enjoyed the anons and comments that buoyed me through it! and i'm glad to have something out there for that ship, even if it's not ao3 official.

[unlinked anon fic] (💀)was my only other post to ao3 this year. it was a good reminder that something doesn't have to be perfect, or even have a point, to be worth posting. and i'm glad i've got something in the tag for a ship that i'm extremely feral about.

tumblr bits and pieces:

f/f gavin/seamus

waffling on about bedard vs fantilli parenting here and here

adam fantilli raised by wolves

shane wright fairy tale

adam marrying girl!rutger for citizenship

small town supernatural t-birds (also here)

thoughts on girl connor and trevor here and here

i'm not linking all of my posts re: adam/rutger boys and girls can't be friends, since i'm turning that one into an official fic now, but the first section is here. it's one of those stories that writes easy every time i sit down with it, but it's also got a new challenge in there for me with the subplot, and i hope i can get it done by summer 2024.

bonus: some favorite chatfic concepts

draft lottery timeloop where adam has to figure out how to get mason and connor together

infuriating ushl dirtbag nolan moyle keeps mansplaining hockey to usa hockey darling/blue chip ncaa recruit rutger while dating her big sister

luca/johnny ************

wolfchild ************

girl seamus teaches frankie how to *** *****

sex demon frankie

[egberts]

feelin real foolish for stocking up on trick or treat supplies instead of groceries over the last two months

[kaiserouo]

my heart fucking melts

[indihome-suck]

bako do you mind if you. erm. elaborate more on what happened on the Tafakur at your school? that was insane holy shit

It was. Honestly not that crazy, but everyone was freaked out anyways. Oh also I still has the alumni's Instagram account blocked.

So at 7:30pm after Isya and dinner, we were supposed to attend a lecture to end the day. You know how it goes. A lecturer, typically an ustadz, tells you some sad shit about your parents until you cry and pray for them. Yada yada yada you know the drill.

Interestingly, the lecturer happened to be an alumni who also graduated from FH UI. Funnily enough he kept bragging about it at the start of the lecture. Us 10th graders at the time were like "okay is this supposed to be an inspirational lecture or something?" It's not!

It starts light with the parents stuff, with a video of some sad story about a parent and a kid (I remembered it's about a father who's blind.) And then he starts showing the graphic birth video. And then a brain operation video saying how "it's amazing how God makes all this"

The 10th graders were freaked out. Even the OSIS were freaked out. A kid got a panic attack. It was about 9pm and he still haven't stopped the lecture. The OSIS realizing they were running behind schedule told the alumni that he should end the lecture. He refused. Continues the lecture and yells at the OSIS saying how important this will all be when we grow up and how all of us will thank him.

The OSIS thinked fast and sneaked some of us out the lecture hall. The alumni was furious when he realized, and went on a rant about it and yells at everyone in the room. In the end the teachers (who were on a break quite far from the lecture hall) realized what's going on and deescalates the situation. The alumni got yelled at by our most brutal math teacher. Thanks miss math teacher.

[billpottsismygf]

Doctor Who: The Pyramids of Mars / The Devil's Chord

Bonus foreshadowing: The Pyramids of Mars / The Legend of Ruby Sunday

[leguin]

i did think about richard siken saying there's no such thing as unrequited love, just unrequited desire for probably longer than i should've, but idk. feelings are complicated. 'unrequited' is complicated. i've never felt so consistently failed by language before...

[fraternum-momentum]

I’m from PH too but it’s not everyday we see a 19 year old like you. You look and act like a minor

Dude, I'm literally turning 20 this November. Look, I'm just as in denial of my age as much as you are, but I'm sorry to break it to you I just look like this 💀💀💀 I got nothing, dude. I'd rather someone tell me 'Wow, you look young for your age!' especially since the whole internet seems to be terrified at the prospect of ageing. I'll just take it as a compliment and move on with my day.

And since you apparently know how every single 19-year-old act then tell me, how do you want me to behave? And how do you want me to convey that through fucking text? What, do you want me to capitalize my words? Use proper punctuation and grammar? Ooh, do I seem like a big girl to you now that I'm typing properly?

Do you want me to spell it out for you? I play a character here, you fucking dumbass. You don't know me. You can't just sum up my entire personality solely from text posts and some art alone. If you seriously think I 'act' like this irl then, boy, do i have news for you.

Not everything you see here on the internet is the full picture. It may come as a huge surprise to you but I don't show the entirety of my personality here. The fact I even have to say that to someone who I assume is older than me is laughable. You'd think for someone who thinks they can spot a minor, they'd be smart enough to know that.

Every time i post something in this blog, I'm not thinking whether it's 'a true reflection of my soul' or whether 'I'm conveying my real self'. I'm not thinking any of that bullshit. I just try to think of a joke or do something entertaining so I can get a snort from another stranger on the other side of the planet. I admit most of them are a hit or a miss but I like making people laugh. I like getting a 'lmao' from another person, it's nice. And my art is just shit I draw during my free time. It's really not that deep. This is such an unserious blog.

Maybe, that's why you're saying I act like a minor? It's because I'm immature, overdramatic, over-the-top, or annoying? When we grow up do we just suddenly become just as miserable as you? Is that it? Everyone matures at a different age, some minors act more mature than me because of various circumstances. Oh, but they're adults, right? Cause they have more emotional maturity? Cause they act more professional? Cause they're more serious?

If you think I'm lying about my age or whatever then unfollow me, block me for all I care. Make the both of us happy.

[b4kuch1n]

tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"

[narlimy]

fon master guardian of the year 🤗

[okkennymay]

Hi Kenny, how's 2024 treating you?

I feel a little bit like i'm running down an incredibly steep hill but I'm managing somehow 💖

I got to briefly join my sisters hens/bucks party weekend getaway for a few hours near the start of the year, it was an amazing experience and to have gotten to join in on the fun with family and friends and celebrate my sister and her fiance's marriage-to-be was an experience I never thought could happen! ♪(^∇^*) I mean sure I spent most of it hidden away, in the lil cabin my parents were renting a bit further away from all the party people, resting between moments of interaction but it was AWESOME!

and then I lost my 'no major episode' streak (almost 5 months!! A frickEN MiRAcle!!) a week later and have spent most of the time recovering 9w9" ahh all that recovery torn away and damage redone ;w; But i have been quietly working on commissions in the shadows with those who have popped up in my Instant messages- yah boi got bills to pay and a DSP don't quite cut it, so I got some nice art to post when i can get out of my own head for a minute to do so wOOOO ╰(*°▽°*)╯ my clients are my hero's honestly, it's one of the reasons why I pour so much love into my work

Sorry if that was a bit more of answer than yah wanted Anon <3 I feel a lil bit like all the people responding to Elmo's "how's everyone doing" but I tried to keep things lighthearted 💖

[auriidae]

i found this really old comic i made and never posted here?? there is a superb dearth of context i am aware but (chucks this in your general direction anyway)

(this was from an au based off a weird dream i had a while ago ??? it was like. they were normal human kids but they somehow got into this strange video game slash simulation or smth which SOUNDS like sburb but it was way different trust me. i wrote a ton abt it for months and then never thought about it again. n e ways.)

[astranauticus]

snapshots of what could have been

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

hai guys :3

[wonder-worker]

A.J Pollard’s biography on Edward IV was so cringe lol (generic; minor but frustrating inaccuracies; intensely judgmental at times and oddly dismissive at others while never considering the broader context; entirely diminished and trivialized Elizabeth Woodville as both queen and wife of his main subject in the name of "defending" her; created a false dichotomy between Edward and Henry VII’s styles of ruling and lauded the latter at the former’s expense even though Henry literally followed Edward’s example for the very things Pollard was criticizing Edward for; had a downright nonsensical and thoroughly misleading conclusion about Edward’s legacy & Richard’s usurpation that was based entirely on hindsight, Pollard's own assumptions, and the complete downplaying Richard’s agency and actions to emphasize what Pollard wrongly and misleadingly claimed were Edward's so-called 'failings', etc, etc)

I wanted to buy his book on Henry V but after reading this shitshow and the synopsis of that book, im guessing it's going to be 10x worse, so...no thanks

[itspileofgoodthings]

so funny because my emotions are a strength of mine (also their strength in particular is a strength) but they’re also a huuuuge weakness and downside and pitfall as well, and not just because they make me suffer. they also just, like, get in the way of so many good things.

[svtskneecaps]

thank you for bearing with my purgatory posting and i'm also glad to see i'm not the only one who still has this fungus eating away at my brain matter. seeing other purgatory posting in the tag makes me feel better lmfao.

i'm not done btw, posting will (probably) continue as i revisit vods. wanted to extend a thanks in the interim, since i know how contentious the event was in the moment. i kinda thought the general consensus was most people hated thinking about it, but there's been a weird amount of engagement and yknow other people talking. makes me happy to know i'm not alone here!