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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 months ago

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sebek and his big ol' heart

Y’all thought I would be writing an extensive analysis on [REDACTED] or Skully but JOKE’S ON YOU, I love my lame idiot child Sebek 😭

When I tell you I actually CRIED MULTIPLE TIMES reading his Nightmare Suit vignettes… because all the pieces fit together SO well…

Before reading this (long) post, I’d like to ask that you also take your time to read this analysis and this analysis. They will help you understand some of the points I made later regarding Sebek and his internalized racism + how he expresses himself.

Have your recommended reading done? Great, then let’s hop to it!

***Spoilers for Sebek's Nightmare Suit vignettes, book 7, and various other Sebek and Silver card vignettes.***

Sebek is one of those characters that lives in infamy for how much time he takes to get warmed up to. He presents himself as loud and brazen, with these traits often earning him the ire of both in-universe peers and irl fans alike. Worst case scenario, Sebek can be seen as someone who is outright hateful. He’s rude to most people (including Silver, his childhood friend, sometimes), denounces humans, acts like Malleus can do nothing wrong, and doesn’t seem to respect his own father.

Well, I’m here today to tell you those claims are false and that Sebek is actually capable of so, so much love. All you need to really do is look at his Nightmare Suit vignettes—and how well they connect with the rest of his lore—to understand what I mean.

The vignettes start with Jack Skellington finishing a bento that Sally made for him. Sebek tells Jack that he should now return the basket that the bento was delivered in to her and to let her know what he thinks of her meals, but Jack says he can’t because he’s busy with Halloween preparations. Jack asks Sebek and Azul to return the basket in his stead, which they do. (These vignettes appear to be following Trey’s Nightmare Suit vignettes, as those open with Sebek and Trey seeing Sally jump out of a window with food with Jack. Sebek points out to Trey that Sally wants to hand deliver that food and says he believes there is some other reason than just being nice to Jack.)

They aren't allowed to see Sally because Dr. Finkelstein has locked her up for misbehaving, so they leave the basket. Azul advises that they also pass along Jack's comments (he had called Sally smart, thoughtful, and kind; he often forgets to have meals when he's absorbed with his work, so it's generous for her to prepare a delicious meal like this for him). Sebek loudly refuses, as he believes that hearing these grateful words from Jack himself would be much more meaningful to Sally.

He later confronts Sally at Town Hall and asks to speak with her privately (in an ALLEYWAY lol). There, Sebek flat-out tells Sally that such roundabout tactics will never help her feelings reach Jack because he's way too dense. Of course, she reacts with denial which sends Sebek into a passionate speech about the lengths Sally will go to for love (short of actually speaking about it). She literally threw herself out of a window and put herself in bodily harm to get to Jack when Dr. Finkelstein locked her in her room. She deliberately disobeyed her guardian and brainstormed a way to get out when theoretically she should not have been able to move around freely. If that's not motivated by love, then what is? Sebek declares that it's really annoying to watch Sally dance around the issue and to see her devotion go to waste. IT'S LIKE HE'S WATCHING/READING A ROMCOM AND THE TWO MAIN CHARACTERS KEEP PLAYING THE "WILL THEY, WON'T THEY" CARD... She admits that she can't share her feelings because Sally thinks she's not worthy of someone as impressive as Jack... They're not compatible. And you know how Sebek responds??? BY TELLING SALLY ABOUT WHAT IS BASICALLY TWISTED ROMEO AND JULIET... Sebek reading tragic romance confirmed 😭 He describes the story as one of two lovers whose families do not approve of their union. In desperation, the lovers try to elope--but their plan fails and they return to their warring families. Instead of committing dying like in the original tale, the lovers live the rest of their lives lamenting the outcome and how they can no longer see the person they love most. Sebek shares his own interpretation of the story and its moral: because the lovers gave up hope that they could get their families to accept one another... because they never tried to get their families to get along... because they could not properly articulate their feelings to their families... the lovers could not be together. He is convinced that if they had communicated better, the story would have a happier ending. Sebek is of the firm belief that a story itself cannot come to be without the author wanting to share their own thoughts or feelings; he even suggests that maybe the author of Romeo and Juliet experienced something similar--a regret that resulted from neglecting to express deep-seated feelings. It's not just this book either, Sebek claims to have many stories with a similar theme or miscommunication leading to conflict.

Above all, Sebek stresses to Sally that she must believe in herself and take swift, decisive action. And why does Sebek whole-heartedly throw himself into this belief? Because his own family is living proof that a happy ending is possible if you try hard for it.

If you've paid attention to Sebek lore prior to this, you'll know that he has a human father and a fae mother. Their marriage faced opposition and scrutiny in Briar Valley, a country which is isolated from the rest of the world and suffered greatly from human invaders pilfering the fae lands for resources. One of these sources of opposition and scrutiny is Sebek's own grandfather and his mother's father, Baur. Apparently, Mrs. Zigvolt married Mr. Zigvolt against the wishes of her dad.

Sebek shares even more details with Sally in his Nightmare Suit vignettes. To this day, Baur does NOT approve of his daughter's marriage--but Mrs. Zigvolt doesn't let that get her down! No, she does everything in her power to prove to her father that she made the right choice and she's perfectly content with her life. She'll send letters enclosed with photographs of her family, take her children to visit Baur's home, and invites him to join family dinners. Sebek adds that he's sure his mom made other efforts too--all to try and get Baur to acknowledge her marriage. More recently, Baur seems to have lightened up a little... as in, he always used to turn Mr. Zigvolt away at the door, but now lets him in about once a year (though Baur still avoids eye contact with him and continues to frown). Mrs. Zigvolt stubbornly believes that if she keeps this up, her dad will one day change and bless her marriage with the man she truly loves. Sally commends Sebek and his mother's ability to speak their minds loudly and proudly, but then disparages herself again by saying she can't do the same. Sebek then confesses that he can relate to Sally's frustrations. He related her feelings to his own inadequacy in serving Malleus, the powerful and noble king-to-be of his country. That feeling... Sebek describes it as akin to heartache. But instead of wallowing in that heartache, he pushes himself to close that distance between himself and his idol. If he keeps hesitating, then there is absolutely no way he can catch up to where Malleus is! Sebek must dedicate himself to becoming someone worthy of serving him. He encourages Sally to do the same through both her words and her actions! At that moment, Jack walks in and Sally makes good on Sebek's advice. (This part isn't important to the analysis on Sebek's character, so I'm glossing over it.) The vignettes end with Epel complaining about Sebek being loud as per usual. Sally doesn't take issue with his volume though. She simply giggles and informs Epel that Sebek speaks so loudly and clearly so that his words can resonate with others--like how his words gave her courage.

We have learned new lore about Sebek's grandfather and mother. What does this tell us about Sebek? A lot, actually--if you slate it with all the other lore we have on hand.

We see just how strong of a woman his mother is. I suspect this is where Sebek picked up a lot of his hard-headedness, as well as the tendency to express himself very overtly, from. However, it also speaks to the loving environment he grew up in.

His mother seemingly never questioned her own life choices and never gave up fighting to prove her happiness to a father--and likely an entire community--that rejected her marriage, her husband, and maybe even her children. She fiercely loves and defends her family and the life they have made for themselves. Sebek states that he looks up to her for her magical strength, but that he also admires her principles and strong convictions. Indeed, it was her who ardently pursued Mr. Zigvolt and did not allow naysaying to deter her.

Then there is Mr. Zigvolt. In Sebek's Birthday Boy vignettes, he describes his father as "a strange man" who is "magically deficient" and "never lets his smile fade, no matter what I say to him [...] he defies comprehension." Though Sebek doesn't seem to hold the same amount of respect he has for his mother for his father, we don't hear Sebek openly insulting his dad, just expressing confusion about him. When asked about it, Sebek denies depending on his father--but it's clear there is a fondness there that he's not addressing. Mr. Zigvolt is impressed whenever his children use magic, buys them snacks they never asked for, and talks with them for long periods of time in a calm, patient manner. His father, too, has given Sebek so much compassion and understanding.

We don't know a lot about Sebek's siblings, but they seem to get along fine! He has mentioned going to parks with them. They've also gone fishing together and witnessed magic competitions, which they were all amazed by. The Zigvolts in general (or at least the parents) seem to be accepting too, as they volunteer to take Silver in whenever Lilia is unable to take care of him.

And you'd think that's where it ends, but NO. Baur ALSO has a lot of love to give. Despite not approving of his daughter's marriage, he doesn't actively despise his grandchildren. Quite the opposite, in fact! Though he's rough around the edges and looks scary, Baur doesn't fault any of his grandchildren for being born half fae and half human. He actually makes it a point to bond with them, and especially with Sebek. It was Baur who taught Sebek the language of nocturnal fae and instilled in Sebek his love for reading (as he bought many books for him and tells many stories himself). He also personally reached out to Lilia to train Sebek, as the young boy (at around age 7) expressed an interest in martial arts. Sebek has a love for salmon carpaccio because he and his siblings would fish at Baur's house and then prepare the dish for him--Baur was so happy about it. Additionally, Baur values getting a good education and was proud when Sebek shared with him that he was invited to attend Night Raven College.

Sebek grew up in a country that dislikes humans, but he was raised in an household where he was loved unconditionally and provided with all the resources he could need to get a good education and become someone who is physically strong. So of course he becomes frustrated when he sees Sally, who is so nervous to act on her feelings. What would have happened if Sebek’s mother had been like Sally, thinking she and her now-husband are incompatible? If she didn’t try pursuing her feelings at all? Sebek, as the youngest of three, might not event exist. His parents may not still be together… or maybe they wouldn’t have gotten together in the first place. It’s exactly because Sebek knows what love is supposed to be like--courtesy of his own family—that he can see it so well in others, and wants them to act on it. His very existence is proof that love is possible, and it transcends arbitrary labels like race that serve to divide people into categories.

One quirk of Sebek's is how he's always dishing out back-handed compliments or making comments that come off as rude but aren't at their core. He can't seem to help but say a good thing that sounds like something bad. His Diasomnia classmates, usually Silver, have to translate these Sebek-isms for others, who misunderstand him or interpret his words in the worst possible way. For example, from one of Silver’s Fairy Gala lines; “Sebek said to me that no self-respecting disciple of Lilia’s would dare get a single stain on this clothing. That's his way of encouraging me.” In Silver's Dorm Uniform vignettes, Sebek tries to reassure his friend and tell him to not let other people's opinions hurt him--but he phrases it as, "Hmph, ridiculous! I see no reason for you to heed a few random comments from some humans." The duo is also shown to be competitive with one another in training; it's never malicious, they both want to prove themselves as the superior knight, and the other serves as motivation to improve and/or a means of measuring one's own growth against a fellow disciple. When the mostly elderly population of Harveston is in need of physical labor, Sebek comments "[...] the humans in Harveston are woefully out of shape," yet he insists he "still [has] energy to burn" (as if to volunteer himself to do more work) and calls such tasks "simple" (as if to point out how easy it is for him to do, so don't worry about troubling him). He hauls apples and helps the villagers with whatever they need, declaring that they should "be grateful"--but if he truly did not care, he could have stopped at any time or settled for just making fun of them. But Sebek doesn't, because he DOES care deep down. This aspect of Sebek is made even more obvious in Fairy Gala: What If. He appears at Ramshackle and opens by declaring, "NO! I am by no means worried about anyone! [...] Don't mistake my intentions. I am NOT here to help! If your mission doesn't succeed, the repercussions will definitely affect Malleus and Lilia. Hence... I shall lend you uneducated humans my aid! [...] You're welcome to weep with joy at my magnanimity..." Time and time again, we see Sebek demonstrating a lot of kindness, but deflecting or not being totally transparent with his intentions due to pride or embarrassment. This behavior is very reminiscent of Baur, the grandfather that Sebek loves dearly and spent so much time with. Baur, too, can be very passionate and loving, but struggles to speak of those feelings openly. Just look at how the man deals with Mr. Zigvolt. The behaviors of the family, then, imprint on Sebek and influence his behaviors--and being that Sebek is from such a loving group, it follows that Sebek puts out a lot of love into the world too.

A lot of times when the fandom discusses Sebek's attitude, I feel it's from the context of him being hateful towards humans. I'm not going to deny that Sebek has said some pretty nasty things about half of his own identity. The point I would like to make here is that Sebek can love just as strongly.

The most obvious thing that supports the claim that Sebek is capable of strong love is how he views Malleus. It's no great secret that Sebek practically worships the ground his dorm leader walks on. That's essentially Sebek's key defining character trait. What I'll ask you to consider instead is the nature of Sebek's love--not the obsessiveness of it, but rather the unconditional nature of it.

In Lost in the Book with Nightmare Before Christmas, Skully laments that Sebek has not been disappointed by his idol, Malleus. Sebek actually corrects him by saying that love isn't imposing your own views on your idol, it means preparing to accept them, flaws and all. He says the same of Malleus; should the time ever come where Sebek's expectations of Malleus falter or their paths have to diverge, then he will still embrace his young master, never once turning his back on him. And where does Sebek gets this from? His parents. The father who loves his children no matter how critical Sebek may be of him. The mother who remained so strong in the face of her friends and family being against her life choices.

A common fandom sentiment regarding Sebek is that he blindly follows Malleus--and to be fair, he does for a large part of the main story. But when speaking about his idol to Skully, Sebek says that agreeing with someone and continuing to love them are different things. You can disagree with someone's actions and still continue to love them and accept them. This follows what Sebek does in book 7 and likely alludes to the character development he goes through during + following book 7; though he is betrayed and hurt by Malleus turning his powers against the world, Sebek does not let up on the hope that he can bring his young master back. He even sillily calls the yet-to-be-hatched Malleus tamago/egg-sama, showing even an infant form of Malleus great respect after witnessing his OB. Skully took the opposite path that Sebek did; when he realized that his own idol, Jack Skellington, was not as he imagined him to be, Skully became enraged and lashed out over it. Sebek points out Skully's inadequacies as well, which ties back to how he spoke of his own drive to improve in his Nightmare Suit vignettes. Skully confesses to trying desperately to emulate Jack--so much so that he breaks down when Sebek's UM destroys his iconic shades. He wallows in his current state and doesn't make efforts to change or to be better; the past and his own vision is where he's comfortable. It's a strong contrast to Sebek, who has made it clear he will continue to train and work hard to prove his merits and to be someone worthy of protecting the great Malleus Draconia.

It is Sebek's passion and boundless love that makes him a hero both in Lost in the Book with Nightmare Before Christmas AND in the main story's book 7. He serves as a foil to Skully in the former and actively saves Silver when he's on the brink of despair in the latter. After learning that his biological father is the man responsible for killing Malleus's mother and leading the Silver Owls' onslaught on Briar Valley, Silver despairs and comes to the conclusion that his father must loathe him. "He could never love the son of the man he despised! He has to hate me! He has to!" Sebek rushes to Silver's side using Living Bolt, a UM he has yet to master (thus causing residual damage to him when he casts it), to correct him:

"You have this much strength... and you dare to say you weren't loved?! That you were hated?! [...] If [Lilia] hated you, he didn't have to give or teach you anything. He could've just raised you into a dimwitted coward and made you a servant. But he didn't--and look at you now. Even alone and helpless, you stood firm. You spoke up, unfaltering in the face of our liege's madness. Even trapped in the darkest despair, you kept on fighting! Who raised you to be so strong? LILIA DID! Why don't you see? Why do you doubt? You should have understood years ago! What can you call your strength, if not the direct result of Lilia's love?!"

WHETHER SEBEK REALIZES IT OR NOT, A LOT OF WHAT HE TELLS SILVER HITS HOME FOR HIM TOO... Like, thinking about it... Sebek must have faced a lot of prejudice from his community because of who his father is. He might have grown up thinking he, too, was hated, had he not been protected by his loving mother, father, and, yes, even grandfather, who is still struggling to accept the human in their family. Baur must have been feeling very complicated emotions upon meeting his half human grandchildren for the first time... but even though he dislikes humans, he could never find it in himself to dislike his grandkids. If he had hated Sebek, he wouldn't have wanted him to get a good education. Baur wouldn't be happy that he got into NRC. He wouldn't personally ask Lilia to train the grandson who expressed an interest in combat. He wouldn't buy so many books for Sebek or read with him or tell him stories or teach him his language. He wouldn’t spoil Sebek by giving him sweets (which, by the way, Baur himself dislikes). But Baur DOES do all of these things, because deep down he loves Sebek no matter what he is. You can hear it in the hurt of Sebek’s voice when dream!Baur reacts to him coldly. That isn’t the grandfather he is used to. Though it’s said that Baur doesn’t exactly welcome his grandchildren with open arms, he definitely loves them and cares for them in his own way. If it was anything less than love Baur felt for his grandson, if he decided to neglect his grandkids, then Sebek would have grown up as some "dimwitted coward". IT'S ALL CONNECTED.

And now here Sebek stands, able to tell others that they are loved and should be cognizant of that love. He reminds Silver that Lilia loves him. He advises Skully to reevaluate how he sees his idol. He tells Sally to speak honestly about her feelings, because it was his own mother speaking honestly about hers that led to Sebek and his entire family being as happy as they are now. He shouts at people to act and to speak their minds because he doesn't want them to live with regrets, because he doesn't want to see them be weak and timid--a version of himself that could have resulted if he hadn't been loved so strongly.

You can say many things about Sebek: that he's loud, that he's rude, that he's a fanboy, that he has big muscles. But of all those muscles, Sebek has a very big heart too. And what made him so strong? All the love he received from his family, despite growing up an environment that surely invited hatred for humans.

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evie-sturns · 10 months ago

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Sorry - Matt Sturniolo

summary: you and matt have been bickering the whole day, but one thing that comes out of his mouth accidentally makes you cry.

contains: arguing, crying, comforting, fluff.

---------------└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘---------------

matt and i have spent the day out together, but hes been snapping at me for the smallest things. i've just brushed it off, i decided hes just tired and needs to get home.

"ready to go matt?" i ask, squeezing his hand as i heave myself up off the chairs in the mall.

"mhm.." matt hums, shutting off his phone and sitting up.

the loud chatter from crowds of people in the shopping center echos through my ears. matt walks ahead of me, i follow close behind as he walks through the double doors out into the parking lot.

he unlocks the car before letting himself in, shutting the car door behind him. "jesus" i mutter under my breath before opeing the passenger side and jumping in.

"so what should we get for dinner tonight?" i question, breaking the painfully loud silence.

"don't know" he replies quietly, his voice monotone.

"i could make us something?" i say, tapping my fingers on my leg as matt pulls out onto the street.

"sure." he responds with a slight nod of his head.

the rest of the car ride is silent, matt grips the steering wheel with both hands, taking sharp turns towards home.

"matt..?" i ask quietly,

"mhm" he mutters back,

"are you upset with me?" i say, my voice soft as i look directly on the road ahead.

"nope" matt sighs as he pulls into our garage.

i nod silently as he opens the door of the drivers side, he slams the door shut behind him and walking into the house. he doesnt even bother letting me out of the car, let alone leave the door to the house open.

i sit in the car for about a minute in silence, trying to think about what is actually pissing matt off today

i get out of the car and walk up the concrete stairs to our house, i approach the door to matt and i's bedroom, the door handle rattles before swinging open.

matt is sitting on his desk chair, scrolling on his phone. he doesn't even look up at me as i flop down on the bed.

i grab my airpods off our bedside table, accidentally knocking matts cup of coffee which has been marinating on the table for several hours.

the mug hits the wooden floor, the porcelain shattering and coffee painting the wooden planks.

i look up at matt, "shit-"

"can you actually fucking stop?" matt says, almost disgusted by me.

"you've been so annoying all day and i'm so sick of it. stop." he continues.

he stares directly into my eyes as those words exit his mouth.

i usually wouldn't cry if anyone said this to me, but today it feels so personal. they way hes been so uninterested in me, and now he says this to my face?

my eyes water as matt maintains eye contact, my bottom lip trembles as my throat feels like its practically closing in.

a loud sob exits my mouth as tears instantly start to stream down my face, my shoulders slouched and bouncing up and down as i stand infront of matt.

"you're being mean now matt" i say in between shaky breaths.

he stands in shock in front of me for a few seconds before grabbing me and pulling me into a passionately tight hug, he holds my head as i feel his hands shake slightly as he takes deep breaths.

after a few seconds i pull away from the hug "look at me, please" matt says, his voice soft as his mouth parts slightly.

i look up at him, my face drenched in tears. he bends over and picks me up, holding me up around his waist by my thighs.

he sits down on the bed with me, i'm sitting on his lap, almost straddling him as he sits back against the headboard.

"please don't cry, i promise i didn't mean to make you cry im so sorry-" matt rambles on, panic in his voice.

"i've been a proper dickhead today i don't know whats wrong with me i am so sorry"

i nod, he takes the sides of my face in his ringed hands, "i am so, so grateful to have you. i have been so tired recently and i've only been getting three or four hours of sleep a night because of nick, chris and is schedule for the past few weeks and its taken a toll on me"

"and its not your fault, nothing is okay?" he finishes, his eyes scanning my face for a reaction.

i nod "thank you", matt takes his hand and casually wipes the snot from under my nose.

"can you please give me a smile sweetheart?" he asks, his hands finally dropping slowly from the sides of my face down to my palms.

i wipe my eyes and give matt a somewhat ugly smile, matts face lights up "there she is" he smiles "gorgeous girl."

he taps my waist "do you want a shower?" he asks, its been a 'tradition' that matt and i have a shower together mosts nights.

"yeah" i smile warmly at matt, he sits up, picking me up off his lap and carrying me into his bathroom.

he sets me down on my feet and helps me get my clothes off, he follows, his clothes in a neat pile by the door.

i turn on the shower up to a high heat, the steam fogging the room.

matt steps in, "holy shit- i know i've been an asshole but do i deserve to be scolded alive- fuck." he laughs, his eyes scrunching and his wide grin plastered on his face.

"its nice!" i joke back, matt steps in again, trying to keep a straight face. "oh my god-" he whispers with a smile as he turns down the water temperature. "matt!!" i whine, slapping him lightly with a smirk "i had to" he says, reaching for the shampoo and squeezing it into his hand.

he rubs the shampoo into my hair, a comfortable silence fills the bathroom along with the sweet smell of strawberry shampoo.

suddenly matt breaks the silence,

"for the record, i did enjoy the mall with you earlier sweetheart, and i'm sorry i ruined it for you."

"awh matt, its okay i go to the mall every 2 days anyway." i coo back at him with a cheeky smile.

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matts smile btw in the shower heat cause i thought it was cute

#nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut

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lullabyes22-blog · 3 months ago

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Real talk because you are THE resident Silco expert and all your headcanons are 100% correct: why does fandom think Silco would be good in bed? (Or good at sex at all?)

I've seen headcanons about him being a giver, and about his dick game being fire, and while he's a sexy, charismatic man, I feel like he's too... selfish, insecure, and just not a romantic guy. He's also a very bitter, lonely, and angry dude. Idk, it makes sense he would have some kinks but I feel like he'd be too much of a bitch to care for anyone else in bed. I guess he'd want it rough, and I've read some fics where he's a sadist, but I feel like it'd just be a quick fuck to satisfy himself, not a slow, passionate, sensual thing.

idk, do with this what you will.

I agree - with nuance 💗

Silco - at least as I write him in FNF - is principally a headfuck. If he's demonstrating an interest in you, then he wants something from you. If he's nice to you, there's a bottom line. No act of generosity comes without strings attached, and every small kindness comes at a terrible price. That aspect of cold-blooded calculus is never far away from his base nature, which splits the world into assets and liabilities, and his own actions into a transaction of cost versus reward.

With that in mind, he excels, not at sex, but at getting his partners to do what he wants them to do. For him, it's one of the many fluid ways of expressing power, and demonstrating his mastery over the subtleties of the human body and mind.

A few readers have noticed that he comes across as very detached and controlled during FnF's sex scenes - and that they read as weirdly voyeuristic. That always delights me, because it's an intentional choice. He doesn't really see his partner as anything beyond a medium to his goals, so his focus is entirely on their physical responses and his own actions. His narration is distant, observational and impersonal, because he doesn't experience sex as something that involves an emotional or empathetic connection. Rather, he's gauging how his target's responses play out on a physical plane, and he's calibrating his own actions to maximise their impact.

To give credit where credit is due, he's very intelligent, patient and observant. There is also some realistic backing to the running gag that Good D is invariably attached to Bad Men. More specifically, Bad Broke Men. Silco has not grown up in a position of privilege or wealth. He has been forced to make use of every available resource. He has survived by the skin of his teeth on a constant knife edge of deprivation, hunger and fear.

He's a scrapper. He's a survivor. He's an opportunist.

And to be any of those things, you need to know your way around people: their wants and weaknesses. That's the foundation for the idea that he's good in bed - that he can anticipate his partner's desires, and respond accordingly. The difference is, his actions have no romantic underpinning. It's a matter of pure pragmatism and self-interest.

In terms of technical skill, he's likely very good at finding his partner's pressure points, both literal and figurative, and exploiting them. But if it were up to him, he'd find a way to turn the thumbscrews with nothing more than a well-chosen word and a cold look. The sex is just a generality, and his enjoyment a function of their compliance.

When it comes to actual intimacy?

My friends, he'd be spectacularly bad.

Not just bad, but skittish, hostile and hopelessly inept. He'd feel like an accomplished stage actor who has to step out onto the boards for an improv class. He hasn't got the right lines, he isn't dressed for the part, and he isn't even sure what role he's supposed to be playing. He'd be so awkward, he'd actually have trouble looking his partner in the eyes. The sum total of his sexual ouvre would devolve into the following comedy of errors:

"What the fuck is this?"

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Don't touch me there."

"This is going well, right?"

"Why can't I get it up?"

"I can't do this."

"Leave me alone."

"Where are you going?"

"Don't leave me."

"They always leave me."

"Why does everyone leave me?"

And he'd only spiral deeper into self-loathing and isolation. To submit to intimacy is to open oneself up to the mortifying ordeal of being known, and the constant risk of rejection. To Silco, it is anathema. Actual emotional vulnerability during sex would be not unlike attending his own public execution.

But.

Silco is not a one-note villain, much less a one-trick pony. He has a human history riven in deprivation, bloodshed and betrayal. He's remade himself from a 'weak' man into the premier kingpin of Zaun, but that predatory bracing still hides remnants of the soft-natured idealist he once was. In fact, he's the product of a deeply embedded internal conflict between two distinct versions of himself. The one who seeks to burn his enemies, and the one who seeks to save his city. He's also, as demonstrated by his love for Jinx, capable of profound devotion, loyalty, and a deep-seated longing for companionship.

That means the potential for romance exists. It's just buried deep, deep, deep down beneath years of abuse, neglect, trauma, and self-imposed barriers. If he meets someone who can dismantle those barriers, or bypass them altogether and earn his trust, there is a ray of hope.

Sex would still be frightening and uncomfortable, and it'd involve a lot of trial and error. But it'd also have the potential to be deeply healing. Not because Silco would become a better man, but because his partner would make him want to try. He'd also bring the same intense focus, intelligence, and determination to the task that he applies to his criminal empire - which means that, once he does have his sea legs, Silco would have the potential to become a truly giving lover.

It's all about context.

And the context is always: will he take the gamble when he has nothing to lose, and everything to gain?

#arcane #arcane league of legends #arcane silco #silco #forward but never forget/xoxo #asks #forward (never forget)/xoxo #arcane jinx #jinx #arcane headcanon #arcane headcanons #arcane meta #silco headcanons #silco headcanon #silco x reader

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centrally-unplanned · 2 months ago

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There are two big "AI Art Discourse" events of note recently, which I thought were interesting: ACX's "AI Art Turing Test" and the new paper on "AI Poetry Beating Human Poetry". Both of these I think reveal the shape of "what is AI art for", and also say a lot about how these results were utilized in discourse.

To take the latter first, some academics quizzed people on some poetry and had these results:

We found that AI-generated poems were rated more favorably in qualities such as rhythm and beauty, and that this contributed to their mistaken identification as human-authored. Our findings suggest that participants employed shared yet flawed heuristics to differentiate AI from human poetry: the simplicity of AI-generated poems may be easier for non-experts to understand, leading them to prefer AI-generated poetry and misinterpret the complexity of human poems as incoherence generated by AI.

More human than human poems! This certainly seems impressive - and it is. You couldn't have gotten these results ~5 years ago. But that maybe doesn't mean as much as you might think? Because here is the opening half of the winning "Walt Whitman AI" Poem:

I hear the call of nature, the rustling of the trees, The whisper of the river, the buzzing of the bees, The chirping of the songbirds, and the howling of the wind, All woven into a symphony, that never seems to end. I feel the pulse of life, the beating of my heart, The rhythm of my breathing, the soul's eternal art, The passion of my being, that burns with fervent fire, The urge to live, to love, to strive, to reach up higher. I see the beauty all around, the glory of the earth, The majesty of mountains, the miracles of birth, The wonder of the cosmos, the mysteries of the stars, The poetry of existence, that echoes near and far

This fucking sucks. Straight up 2/10 poem. Did this bitch seriously establish the world's most predictable rhyme scheme only to try to rhyme wind with end? You had one job that you chose for yourself, and you screwed it up! This poem has been written a million times before, and says nothing - the Miley Cyrus lyrics of verse.

The reason this won is, yes, because AI tools have advanced heavily in the past few years. But it is also because it is being tested on a dead art. No one cares about poetry - certainly not the survey respondents:

We asked participants several questions to gauge their experience with poetry, including how much they like poetry, how frequently they read poetry, and their level of familiarity with their assigned poet. Overall, our participants reported a low level of experience with poetry: 90.4% of participants reported that they read poetry a few times per year or less, 55.8% described themselves as “not very familiar with poetry”, and 66.8% describe themselves as “not familiar at all” with their assigned poet.

"Or less" is doing a LOT of work there; "yeah I read a few nonfiction books a year" oh sure, totally. 90% of these respondents haven't read a poem that wasn't displayed in the end credits of Minecraft since high school. No one does, poetry as a medium is essentially a relic. That isn't an insult to poets, by the way! There is no shame in being a niche. Not everyone can have the reach of hentai doujin artists; the community is small but they get a ton out of it. But you can't take the art of the community and expect that art to hit outside of it.

This survey didn't ask people to evaluate art; it asked people to evaluate their stereotypical impression of an art they don't care about. It was ~600 people hired off a website, they banged it out ASAP and moved on. This is not to invalidate the results; I am not actually claiming that "real" poets would have scored much better? Maybe, I don't know - that just isn't very relevant.

Let's swing to the AI Art Turing Test results to get more into why. Again, AI art is absolutely "art" in the sense that it is able to pass the test handily. You have to be head-in-the-sand at this point to think that AI can't make an impressionist painting a la the "most liked" art in this contest:

I have seen the "well real paintings have physicality this is a jpeg" discourse points and the cope couldn't be more real - 99% of art consumption in the modern world is digital or at least prints, let's get you back to bed grandma. But I did find it pretty funny that Scott noted this AI piece as one he particularly liked:

Because it is nonsensical, right? All that "faded paint", how was it originally painted - just bucket splashes of red and blue? What are those random doors, the random stairs going nowhere on the sides, the vague-nothings engravings? Scott just didn't care about that - he liked the vibe, right? Ancient ruins, epic scale. It isn't a coincidence that the Impressionist art did the best - current AI tools are always impressionist, they have an idea of the vibe and invent the details in between. In Impressionism that is the whole point.

Now the trap is to go "REAL artists can tell because of this or that" because idk, the tools might get better, they might fill in more and more details. The real revelation here is that you don't need the tools to get better - visual art isn't so different from poetry. Most people don't pay attention to it all that much. You see thousands, thousands of pieces of art a week; you probably don't even realize how many. Do you really care if the fading paint makes coherent sense on a billboard ad or a doctor's office wall painting? So much art that is made is "industrial" in this sense - it has no need to be good. Only good enough to fulfill its utilitarian role. In these fields AI absolutely is going to Take Your Jobs in some form, and already is (though imo not a ton of them). And it won't really bother most people. This can go pretty deep - I promise you people are "utilizing" AI porn right now. They are ~appreciating the details~ way more than is typical, the product is working.

All this works until it doesn't, though. When it is an art book by a favourite artist whose vision you want to pour over, learning that all the individual details were just made by AI completely defeats the purpose, right? Imagine reading a book of these poems. Outside of the novelty, "AI is the point" factor you would rather watch infomercials on repeat, I can't imagine a more pointless use of my time. "Reading arbitrary poems" is never fun, regardless of the quality of the poems. Most people don't care about poetry! The reason you care is that you care about the poet, and what they want to say. You read poetry with context, it being inserted with intent into the pages of a manga, at the end of a video game, because you like the artist and follow them on twitter. The quality of the prose isn't more important than that.

Which is a harsh limit for all of these kinds of tests. They essentially aren't testing art, right? You do not ever get paid twenty bucks to sit down and read a dozen poems and score them. That has no bearing on how you would actually ever learn to care about a poem. Which doesn't make AI art useless or anything, more that these tests will very quickly run into their limits of what they can meaningfully tell you. The actual bar is "creating something someone cares about". From that lens, I fully believe hybrid methods that privilege artistic intent are currently working and will improve. But I think for "solo" AI art getting that to work is going to be complicated.

#ai art discourse

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seeingivy · 1 month ago

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vienna

ryomen sukuna x f!reader

**part of my best friends older brother fic

“you okay?”

you look down to find sukuna’s hand outstretched on top of the glove box, gesturing for you to take his hand in yours. the motion makes you pale in the slightest, because it’s only now that you realize that you’ve been driving together for almost an hour and haven’t said a word to him, that you probably should have been talking to him this entire time instead of spacing out, as you slide your hand into his.

for all you know, he could have had his hand open this entire time, waiting for you to take it, and you had no idea.

“sorry. did you say something, sukuna?” you murmur.

you look over to your left to find a quiet smile painted on his face, just barely visible through the reflected glow from the red light on the street.

you’ve been with him long enough to know this expression – know too much about this expression – and that he’s treading very carefully right now. that at the very least, he knows that something is simmering in your head, that it’s probably not good, and he’s picking his words very deliberately because of it.

and perhaps you spent too much time with him because you could almost hear the response in your head already.

what are you apologizing for? you did nothing wrong.

“i just asked you if you were okay, princess.” he responds.

“i’m okay. i was just spaced out there for a second.”

he looks over and offers you a smile, before lifting your interlocked hands and placing a swift kiss to the back of your hand.

“i know that you were spaced out. i was just asking if you were okay. in your whole spaced out place or whatever.” he responds, a slight edge to his voice.

you grin. only because you can tell that he’s trying – that he’s trying despite the fact that you’ve done nothing but chewed him out for the past few days – and that there would probably be nothing that would make him stop. not knowing things made him impatient, but he was trying his best to keep that to a minimum. because that was just the type of person that he was.

“you really have a way with words.” you respond.

sukuna rolls his eyes.

“it worked on you, didn’t it?” he responds, shifting slightly in his seat.

there’s a quiet pause when you don’t respond, only because you’re stuck in thought again – about how much he cared, about how he was probably more worried about you than he was letting on, that you weren’t making things easy for him when he was the one who was working all day – before he interjects again.

“you can tell me about what’s going on when you’re spaced out. not that you have to, but you can.” he responds.

you smile. if you were in a different mood, you were sure that he would have demanded you tell him.

“i was just thinking about you.” you clarify.

sukuna grins.

“when are you not?” sukuna asks.

“don’t get a big head. i was just appreciating you in my head. that you’re giving me time to think everything over. and not being….being pushy about it.”

“you can appreciate me out loud too, you know?” he states.

you roll your eyes.

“i’ll show you my appreciation when we go home.” you respond.

“you’re disgusting.” he deadpans.

you both laugh. and the sound of him laughing eases the tense feeling that makes your chest feel tight, only for it to be immediately replaced with guilt.

that you probably should have been talking to him this entire time, because it would have made you feel better. that he probably misses talking to you about stuff other than school too.

“i know. i just…i don’t know. it just feels weird to admit out loud because i know it’s wrong and i know how it looks and i just…it’s a lot to think about.”

sukuna squeezes your hand once.

“it’s not weird to think about quitting vet school. i’d actually be inclined to argue that it’s a good thing, that it’s probably something that people should do more. passion clearly has to be a driving force in your job, especially when it’s as hard and grueling as it is, and it’s not wrong to evaluate if you’re having doubts.” sukuna states.

you smile.

“so is that your opinion? that i should drop out because i could be saving time if i realize i don’t want to do it now? that i shouldn’t be continuing if if i’m conflicted to begin with?”

sukuna rolls his eyes at you, before clicking his tongue in the side of his cheek.

this was the exact subject of the argument, if he could even call it that, that transpired every few days since you had mentioned you wanted to drop out at the start of the month.

he asserted that it couldn’t be an argument because he wasn’t necessarily fighting back and because you always agreed with him in the end. but the way you apologized hours later, without fail, clearly indicated that you thought otherwise.

“sweetheart. i told you that i wasn’t going to tell you my opinion.” he states.

“why not? you’re like…married to me. you’re my partner. your input is basically like the most valuable thing ever at this point. and this entire thing affects you too” you respond.

“saying sweet things won’t make me tell you. not that i’m complaining. i just don’t want you to waste your breath.” he states.

you groan.

“i just don’t get why you won’t tell me. multiple opinions help.”

sukuna grins.

“that’s easy then. tell everyone at dinner tonight and ask them their opinion if multiple opinions are that important. they’ll all be more than happy to divulge what they think.” sukuna states.

“ugh, god no.” you groan.

sukuna laughs.

“i thought that multiple opinions were important.” sukuna retorts.

“not from them. i already know what they’re all going to say. your mom and my mom are probably going to be super fucking disappointed. i mean, your mom wouldn’t say that to my face but the two of them would definitely fucking gossip about it when we left. about how i already put so much work in, that i had already sacrificed so much, so what if it was a little more? and i get that, it does seem stupid in retrospect to give up this late in the game when i’ve already missed out on so much and i’m not getting any older, but still. they can’t say that because they don’t know how hard it is.”

“well, i think that-” sukuna starts.

“and sammy and yuuji are going to get way too worked up about this. sometimes it feels like they’re too involved to give me real advice about the entire thing. yuuji’s going to bring up all those dumb stuffed animals in my room and how i’ve dreamed about this since i was a kid and busted my ass off all of college when i could have been having fun just to be in this spot. about how it’s just hard right now and that i’ll get better. but he can’t really guarantee that so what’s the point of saying it? and sammy. she’s going to throw the money in my face when you already told me not to think about it. and i try not to make the wasted loans a part of my decision because you told me not to but she’s going to remind me how hard it is to make ends meet, about how if i don’t have a job that you’ll be the only one would make ends meet and that’s not fair and i just…”

“sammy just-”

“i don’t need their opinions. they’re just going to make me feel like shit and tell me what i already know. they would just add to all the stuff that i already think about. about if i’m strong enough to do this, about our family. i’m not getting older, infertility is actually higher for people in our field because of how high stress it is – and i know we haven’t talked about kids but you might want them someday if you don’t already. i don’t need them to add to anything because they actually know nothing.”

sukuna takes a beat. maybe just to make sure that he can actually get what he’s trying to say before you cut him off in the two attempts that he made to talk.

“can i ask you one question?” sukuna asks, rather carefully.

“of course you can, sukuna.” you murmur. he notes that your response is so soft, almost tired.

“if you don’t want their opinion, why do you want mine?” he asks, rather softly.

you sigh, before leaning against the back of the chair.

“you’re not like them. and you’re probably the only one who could even understand that school has actually been really hard for me. and i just…i just think that you know me really well and that you care about me and want to pick what’s best for me. and not just what’s like objectively good for me – which would be to keep going when i’ve already invested so much time – but like actually good.” you respond.

sukuna brings the car to a halting stop, maybe a little bit too harshly at the red light, before leaning over to press a kiss to your cheek. it catches you entirely off guard, sending a blooming warmth to your cheek as you raise your hand to rub at the skin, before looking at him.

“what was that for?” you ask.

“i can’t kiss my wife?”

“not when you’re driving. it can wait twenty minutes.”

“i was just flattered that you think that i know you the best. especially over yuuji.” sukuna jokes.

you roll your eyes.

“we’re married. it’s not that i trust you more than him, but you obviously know me in a different capacity than he does.” you respond, reaching down to fidget with the two silver rings on your hand.

“it actually does mean that. i’m going to tell him that when we get there.” he responds.

“sukuna.” you groan.

he laughs.

“i’m kidding. but really, i love that you have so much trust in me, but that’s exactly why i can’t tell you what i think. i want you to come to the decision on your own. you’re my wife, we are partners, but your career is something that’s just yours.”

you sigh.

“and i don’t want you to resent me if what i think isn’t actually what ends up working for you. if my opinion sways your decision one way over the other.”

“i could never resent you.” you respond.

“i know that. but i’m not going to start giving you reasons to resent me just because you won’t.”

you smile, before leaning across the seats and placing your head against his bicep.

“will you ever tell me what you think?” you murmur.

“after you’re completely confident in your decision, i’ll tell you what i think would have been best. deal?” he asks.

“you can’t just change your mind.. you have to tell me what you actually think.”

sukuna rolls his eyes.

“i’ll go home and seal it in an envelope that you can open.” he jokes.

“can you actually?”

he gives you a begrudging glare, knowing that it’s something you’ll hold him to when you get home, as he pulls into the neighborhood. he pulls to a soft stop right on the curb, everyone’s muffled voices in the kitchen pouring out of the open windows as you sigh.

“by the way.” sukuna starts.

“hm?”

“of course i want kids.” he states, before opening his door and getting out of the car.

dinner goes well.

almost too well, until sammy pokes the one thing that sukuna hoped she wouldn’t touch.

sammy going to therapy, in retrospect, was good.

of course it was good. but her unearthing all of the things that he had a penchant to ignore meant that she was more flighty than usual. and naturally, she asserted that it was her prerogative to bring up things that hurt her – which led to uncomfortable conversations, almost all the time.

granted, he figured that it was almost impossible for her to not instigate something at big events

like this one, that some part of it was just her nature, but he wished he could have chosen to pick on someone else instead.

“how’s school going, y/n?” sammy asks.

“it’s fine.” you respond.

sukuna immediately looks up, the two of you locking eyes, before he watches you retreat your hands from your silverware to your lap. he absentmindedly reaches across the table underneath and taps on the top of your shoe, as he shoots you an encouraging smile. you give him a silent nod, responding to your gesture by tapping on the top of his foot back.

a small signal that he was here. that you shouldn’t forget that he was here and let him handle it.

“how’s work going, sammy?” you ask.

sammy glares in response.

“if school’s going fine, then why are you guys giving each other such weird fucking looks when i asked?”

sukuna clears his throat.

“i just smiled at her. how the fuck is that weird?” he asks.

you can tell that he’s clearly irritated by her question, maybe more so that this ended up being the topic of conversation. you supposed that it was just your luck that this was what she chose to fixate on.

“language.”

sukuna shoots an apologetic look to his mom, before turning back to face sammy.

“i know you guys. you always give each other looks when you’re trying to say something.” sammy states.

“he smiles at her every time that he looks at her.” mai offers, shooting sukuna a polite smile.

it doesn’t win her any points with sammy, who subsequently shoots her a glare, before turning back to you.

“what happened at school?” she asks.

you shrug.

“nothing. it’s just school, sammy.” you repeat.

“let me guess. you got the honor roll again and you’re waiting to tell everyone after dinner. or they decided that you should be the class president or something for your last year unanimously. or you –”

sukuna watches as you slam your fork down onto your plate, making an unsavory noise against the ceramic, as yuuji finally wakes up from the conversation he’s having with megumi at his side, looking up to give him a confused look. it takes yuuji all but three seconds to realize that the two of you are about to have a meltdown and that it would probably be best if he intervened.

“y/n, do you want to go get dessert with me?” yuuji asks.

you give him a nod.

“is this your way of humble bragging? trying to get us all to coax you into telling us all the great things that you’re doing at school?”

“are you crazy, sammy?” you ask.

yuuji offers an awkward laugh.

“crazy fun, right?” yuuji adds.

“i did make the honor roll, sammy. is that what you wanted to hear?” you seethe.

“was it so hard to say that instead of giving each other weird looks? you should learn how to give a straight answer instead of faking being humble.” sammy responds.

you heave a sigh.

“i don’t fake being humble. i just don’t mention it because you always act like this.”

“i’m not acting like anything. i just don’t understand why i had to wrestle that information out of you when you clearly wanted to share it.”

“i didn’t want to share it. you were the one sitting there willingly asking me about it. mind you, all because sukuna and i just looked at each other.”

sukuna watches it go back and forth. he can tell that sammy’s purposely trying to egg you on, the way that she always does. and he knew for a fact that if it was anyone else, you’d be able to move past it; it was the mere fact that it was her – that she was purposely trying to piss you off that made you more angry.

angry in the way that only sammy could make you angry. and it takes all but three minutes of arguing, with futile attempts from everyone else to descalate, before it comes spilling out of you.

“you know what? i’ve got the cherry on top of the fucking cake for you. you won’t have to worry about me making any more honor rolls or achievements since i’m probably going to drop out of vet school anyways.” you state.

your admission leaves the room silent with seven pairs of eyes diligently staring at you. you note that sukuna slightly twitches his eyes, only in recognition of what you talked about in the car, and you can’t help but sigh.

“are you happy now? is that what you wanted to hear?” you ask.

“you’re going to what?” sammy repeats, this time her voice quieter.

“sukuna, she’s not serious is she?” your mom asks, worried eyes almost drilling holes into his face.

sukuna looks over at you, shooting an apologetic smile, before turning to reply.

“she hasn’t decided but she’s thinking about it.” he states.

that sends another wave of tension through the air. one that you didn’t expect.

“are you serious, sukuna? you didn’t think to tell any of us so that we could intervene?” sammy asks.

sukuna narrows his eyes at sammy.

“do you really think that your input is helpful? like ever?” sukuna asks.

“that was a low blow.” sammy defends.

sukuna rolls his eyes.

“you picking an argument basically he second we got here was a low blow, sammy.” sukuna retorts.

“regardless of that, all of us talking through could help y/n decide. you should have told us right away so that we could help her. we’re a family.” his mom emphasizes, dismissively shaking her head at him.

“you should have told me. don’t loop me in the same category as them. how long has it been?” yuuji asks.

“three weeks.” sukuna responds.

“the longer you keep it all in your head without talking about it makes it more complicated. you should have said something.” yuuji adds.

“that’s not my news to share. you all know where we live. if you wanted to see how she was doing and know what was going on, you could have shown up and asked her.” sukuna seethes.

this time you’re the one watching it go back and forth. your relationship with sukuna changed your relationship with yuuji – that much was inevitable – but it also changed their relationship with each other. only because yuuji thought that their shared vested interest meant that he thought there were some things that sukuna should tell him as a prerogative. which is something that sukuna would never ever do.

“well, you at least have been trying to convince her not to drop out of school, right?” yuuji asks.

sukuna doesn’t respond. and the omission of response is an answer enough. enough to take everyone’s anger levels a whole octave higher.

“are you insane? you can’t just let her quit her dream.” yuuji states.

“i’m not letting her do anything. she’s her own person and she can decide on her own what she wants to do.” sukuna responds.

“she’s clearly making a stress informed decision. are you saying that you’d let her run into a street while she was upset because she’s her own person?”

“that’s an embarrassing analogy, sammy. those two things are in no way comparable. and i’m not giving her any advice about her career for one reason – because it’s her career. not mine. if you guys knew anything, you’d know that i didn’t tell you because she asked me not to.”

you push out of your chair.

“i’m going to the bathroom.”

you get one whole minute of privacy when you retreat to the bathroom. because the second you sit down on the closed toilet seat, there’s a quiet knock on the door, accompanied by the shadow of someone’s feet you can see underneath the door.

“i’m peeing.” you grate.

“it’s just me.” sukuna responds.

you push off of the seat to let him in before shutting the door closed behind you and retreating back to your seat on top of the toilet. sukuna locks the door behind him and is quick to close the distance, reaching down to place his hand on your cheek and soothing a circle into your skin.

“you’re peeing on top of the toilet?” he asks.

you give him a begrudging smile.

“yeah. it’s your house so you’ll have to clean it up.”

“well, it’s your pee so you’d have to clean it up.”

“i’m a guest in this house. so you’d clean it up.”

sukuna crouches to the ground, taking up residence in between your legs, as you reach forward to cup the sides of this face.

“you’re not a guest in this house because you’re my wife. and also because you’re living the quintessential experience of living in this house right now..”

“and what’s that?”

“fighting with everyone who breathes.”

the two of you quietly laugh, before you reach forward and press a kiss to his forehead. you can’t help but replay the entire ordeal back in your head – the fact that your imagined version of disappointment from the moms didn’t feel nearly as horrible as the real version, that sammy’s distaste towards you was probably never going away, and that yuuji was probably upset. again.

“sorry you got roped into it.” you add.

“stop apologizing for shit that other people do.” he murmurs.

you give him a quiet nod before leaning forward to rest your forehead against his. he welcomes the touch, ghosting his lips over yours before quietly whispering.

“it’s still your decision. if you decide to drop out, they’ll eventually get over it.”

sukuna notes that you take a shaky breath and in the matter of seconds, there’s warm tears running down the side of your face.

“no one’s opinion matters but yours. you know what’s best for you.” he adds.

“do you really think they’d get over it?” you whisper back.

sukuna can’t help but frown.

“i’d make sure of it. i know if you go through with it, it’s because it’s what was best for you.”

he leans back, cupping his hands around your neck and pulling you closer as you give him a halfhearted shrug.

“i like how hard you work. but you’re not just working hard. you’re working yourself to the bone, which i’m not a fan of. i like it better when you have a normal sleeping schedule. and eat on time. and when you actually enjoy what you’re doing because it makes you happy, which is all that i care about.”

sukuna pauses.

“there’s a difference between working hard and being burned out. which is something they just won’t understand, so their opinions don't matter.”

you give him a shaky nod, before reaching forward and closing the distance between the two of you. he has a lopsided smile when you pull back, his eyes narrowed with the slightest flush dusted on his cheeks.

“what was that for?” he asks.

“i can't kiss my husband?”

“i mean, not when i give you a whole pep talk.”

you shake your head.

“just remembered that your opinion is kind of the only one that matters anyways.”

he gives you a sweet smile, pressing one last lingering kiss to your cheek, before you walk hand in hand to brave the rest of the dinner together.

“i’m sorry for what i said at the dinner the other day.”

you get coffee with yuuji three days after the dinner. it’s enough time for you to put what everyone said at the dinner behind you – or what they tried to say with their eyes – and have a conversation with him.

“you didn’t say anything. not to me at least.”

yuuji groans.

“i already apologized to him. and he explained where he’s coming from, which is…probably what i should have done in the first place anyways and i feel like shit about it already so keep it to yourself.” yuuji adds.

you laugh.

“i know. he told me that you were very distraught. so distraught that you walked into a pole mid-conversation, which was enough of a reparation for me.”

he shoves you in your side, as you absentmindedly swing your legs on the bench, and watch all of the people walk past in the park. everyone’s wrapped up in colorful scarves, the frigid chill in the air marking the start of the colder seasons. a sea of pink, green, and blue.

“you know. i actually would appreciate what you have to say about the entire thing. just try to make your delivery non-judgemental. i mean, knowing you that’s basically impossible, but still.” you respond.

yuuji gives you a laugh – one that makes you smile – as you lean your head against his shoulder.

“can you just tell me why you want to drop out before? i’d like to make an informed decision.” yuuji offers.

you give him a nod and the three seconds that he gives you to think have the words spilling out of you.

“grad school is hard. and objectively, i knew that it was going to be hard when i applied, i know that these things can be hard, but it’s taking me out in a way that i didn’t expect. high school was hard because things were complicated. college was hard because i was juggling the jobs that i had with the school work. but this is….this is next level.”

“every test that i study for feels impossible. like quite literally, impossible. every person that i get advice from is saying that it actually literally for me to know everything, that i should just try to study and hope for the best. and no matter how much work i do, it’s not enough. i’m still barely scraping by. i spend the entire day commuting to the hospital on the other side of town, to an understaffed hospital where i have to pick up the slack, and deal with people who are upset from sick animals, who tell me how much their pets means to them and have to respond with the fact that i can’t do anything for them.”

you hike up the sleeve of your sweater.

“everyone else is living their lives. you’re traveling, sukuna’s picking up hobbies and watching movies, and i can barely find time to shower. the cats at work scratch me basically everyday. i spend every morning covering up the scabs that are still bleeding and putting creams to fade the scars that are basically indented into my arm at this point. i come home exhausted and still have to study. and when i do come home, sukuna’s making me dinner and he’s doing my laundry and sometimes he even has to help me shower because of how tired i am.”

“ew.” yuuji responds.

“i know!” you groan, earning you a laugh from him.

yuuji gives you a comforting pat on the head before you continue.

“i feel bad because it’s been this way since we were married. i want to do nice things with him, i want to travel, i want to see you and megumi, i want to just go out and drink sometimes. i miss spending time with all of you and sometimes it just feels like too much to sacrifice. i want to help people but i still want to spend time with my family. god, sukuna and i haven’t even talked about starting our own family and i don’t know how he feels about it. i still have to apply for training after, i could get rejected from training, and training is supposed to be a bigger time commitment than this.”

you sigh.

“i don’t want to spend my entire life working. i want to help people, i know i have to make money, but this feels too much that i’m giving up. granted, i could have a heart attack tomorrow and be dead so what’s the point of spending all of my time working so hard?”

“it feels like i’m prioritizing the wrong thing.” you finish.

you’re panting by the time that he lets you finish. yuuji leans back, taking a heavy swig of his drink, before turning back to look at you.

“well, that’s a lot.” he states.

“tell me about it.”

“i gathered that much from what sukuna told me. he’s definitely more worried about you than he lets on.”

“i know. what do you think i should do?”

yuuji sighs, before tapping on the top of your thigh.

“after a very long conversation with sukuna, i realized that i can’t give you any input. it really is a decision that you have to make on your own.”

you groan.

“ugh. why are you guys like this?” you complain, before lightly shoving him in the side.

yuuji smiles.

“we just want what’s best for you.”

you glare at him.

“well, let me in on what you think is best for me.”

“i think what’s best for you is something that only you would know. how long do you have to decide?”

“nice cop out. my meeting with the dean is the day after tomorrow.”

yuuji lifts his arm to point at the crowd of people across the cobblestone path. there’s an elderly couple with a poodle on the leash, smiling brightly at the little girl – barely four if you were going to guess – who is excitedly petting the dog in between her legs.

“the only advice i would have is to not let recency bias inform your decision. i would hate to see you quit just for you to realize that you made the wrong decision when you were…emotionally exhausted.”

you frown.

“i’m not emotionally exhausted.”

“okay.” he responds. you can tell that he doesn’t believe it.

“i’m not.” you defend.

yuuji sighs.

“you’re not emotionally exhausted. but you’ve been through a lot. a lot of things that i think that you ignore. it was bound to catch up with you at some point.”

“what the hell are you talking about? just say it straight up.”

yuuji turns to look at you.

“you have shit coping mechanisms.”

“okay?”

“you have shit coping mechanisms and a lot happened. my dad died. your dad looked at you dead in the eyes and didn’t know who you were. you realized that for a whole year and a half, sukuna was for all intents and purposes planning his own death while you were sleeping twenty feet away. hell, you even thought that he was going right back to that state of mind when my dad passed away. that this time sukuna wouldn’t come back to you.”

you feel your mouth dry. only because you forgot that had even happened – that you had admitted it to yuuji – in the first plac.e

“there’s a lot that you haven’t processed that happened in the past two years. things that would stop any sane person in their tracks. it’s just catching up to you now.”

you swallow hard.

“i don’t care that your dad died. if you guys moved on, that’s…that’s all that i care about.”

yuuji frowns.

“the mere fact that you picked that out of everything i said tells me that you do care about it. and it's valid. it would be fine and well if you didn’t know him. but you did. and he was an asshole, god knows that in the grand scheme of things there was nothing redeemable about him, but it doesn’t change the fact that you had a relationship with him.”

“he treated you guys like shit.” you defend.

“and yet he still came to all of your dance recitals. he was the one who, albeit very begrudgingly, helped your mom move you guys into college. moved your heavy furniture around. took the trash out so none of you had to.”

you swallow hard.

“he’s an asshole. doesn’t mean you can’t miss him. pretending like he was just our dad, that you just hate him because of what he did to us, does nothing for you because you had a relationship with him too.”

you frown.

“you have shit coping mechanisms. and it’s interfering with something that you’ve dreamed about since you were a kid.”

“is that what you think? that i’m too…too tired to be thinking straight?”

yuuji smiles, before placing a hand on your shoulder and squeezing hard.

“i just don’t want something that’s holding you back to stop you from moving forward.”

“have you decided what you’re going to do?”

masamichi yaga is a serious man. it’s the first impression that you had of him on the very first day of orientation, when he very clearly told us that it was probable that some of us wouldn’t make it to the end of the program if we weren’t serious. it feels like an ironic memory to come to the forefront of your mind at this very moment, but you push it away for the time being.

“thank you for taking the time to meet with me, mr. yaga. i think i have.”

he reaches for his pen on his notebook, making a stark motion across his page – like he was crossing something out – before looking back up at you.

“i’d like to take a leave of absence for the remainder of the year. i’ll tentatively return at the start of next year to finish the last half of my second year and finish off strong.” you respond.

he gives you a thoughtful nod, before leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest.

“can i ask why?”

“i just don’t think i’m performing at my best right now. and i take my studies very seriously and….and i wouldn’t consider this if it wasn’t something that i thought i desperately needed.”

he nods.

“granted, the things that i’ve since found out about you tell me that you should have taken this break a long time ago. i’m very pleased this is what you ended up deciding.”

you can feel your throat dry.

“sorry, what?”

he looks up at you, almost like he’s perplexed, as he drops his pen and leans forward.

“you’re a stellar student; i’ve basically been hearing about how bright and brilliant you are since your very first trimester. your teachers, your peers – they all have nothing but great things to say about you. i would have had no idea you had been going through so much if it wasn’t for your husband coming down here and telling me.”

you pinch your lips into a line.

“what are you talking about?”

“he came down to see me a few weeks ago. didn’t really take no for an answer when i told him i wasn’t free for a meeting. in hindsight, his relentlessness was very warranted. grief is very hard. grieving a parent is very hard. especially, when you have a complicated relationship with them. speaking from experience, it takes someone very special to pull you out of that – which is clearly what you did for your husband when it happened to him. and that can take a toll on you too, even if you don’t realize it. he came down here around three weeks ago and was asking me for all the options that you’d have if you wanted to take a break or drop out. making sure that i understood, fully understood, that this was something that was out of your control, that you were just a person who needed a break.”

“he did that?” you ask.

“he wanted to know what resources we could give you, because he very plainly stated, that you were made to be a vet and he could never in good faith let you quit something you’re made to do.”

you can feel the burning sensation in the back of your eyes again. the conviction in his voice sends a shiver down your spine.

“providing emotional support for a partner who is grieving is very difficult. from what he shared, i’ve come to understand that you’ve had a relationship with your husband’s father for years, and in some ways, he was a stand-in father for you as well. leave behind the normal burnout of school, dealing with something as sensitive as the loss of someone you won’t ever see again is something we would obviously make an exception for.”

you breathe out.

“we’ll see you again next winter. take the time that you need to process. and tell sukuna i say hello.”

you give him a nod before exiting out the door, barely processing the entirety of the conversation, only to see sukuna exactly where you left him, scrolling on his phone in the waiting room. it makes your chest hurt – that he had already called weeks in advance, drove all the way down here on your behalf and didn't mention it at all – as you clear your throat to get his attention. he gives you an innocent smile, jumping out of the chair as he extends his arm out to you.

“ready to go, pretty girl?” he asks.

you give him a nod, welcoming yourself into his open arm and clinging to his side as you walk out of the building together, to where the car is parked on the curb. you’re barely able to process the fact – on what you’re supposed to do in response, how you’re ever supposed to thank him – as you duck into the car.

sukuna pulls out of the spot and merges into the street.

“so can i know what you decided?” sukuna asks.

you nod.

“i’m taking a break for a year. i just think that i’m burned out from going straight into graduate school without taking a break. mo….most people in my class took almost two or three years in between and i didn’t…and i just think that i’m tired.” you state.

you pause.

“but i do want to go back. i’ve always wanted to be a vet. and i’m still going to be one.” you whisper.

“that’s my girl.”

you can see that sukuna’s smiling – smiling extremely brightly in your peripheral vision – before he reaches for the side door. as promised, he produces an envelope with his handwriting scribbled across the top. you slide the slit open and pull out the paper to read what he wrote at the start of the week.

Dear Elphaba, Per your request, I’ve decided to write down what I would have done if I was in your position. However, to actually ignore your request, I’m actually just going to write down my prediction for what you’re going to do instead, because you’re a smart girl. And you always end up doing the right thing. You’re going to take a leave of absence for a year. You’re going to take a leave with the intention of returning back to school because this is your dream, it’s always been your dream, and you don’t give up on anything. Not on me when my dad dies or on yourself when you’re burnt out. Best, Fiyero P.S. if you didn’t end up doing that, I’m driving back and you’re retracting your withdrawal.

"wicked?" you ask.

"i was going to do glinda. because the whole pink ribbons thing. but then i found out that fiyero doesn't even like her like that so i switched it."

you snort.

“also not to say i told you so. but i told you so.” sukuna adds, as you fold the paper back up into the envelope.

you roll your eyes.

“he told me what you did. that you drove all the way down there and talked to him.” you state.

sukuna shrugs.

“could have guessed that much. he's kind of a romantic.”

“why didn’t you say anything?” you ask.

“because i figured that he’d tell you. and i wanted you to figure it out on your own, which true to my word, you did.”

you slouch back into the chair.

“he says hi. i think he likes you.” you state.

you lean across the glovebox and rest your head against his bicep.

“is that right?”

“would be pretty hard not to. you’re kind of the best.” you murmur.

an: a classic best friends older brother sukuna blurb as promised. this took me five days to write and was so hard and just be nice to me please 😭

taglist: @porridgesblog @k0z3me @sugu-love @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @skzismyhome @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @shotenvinsoot @itzmeme @gojoswifeyyys-world @cutiejg @chilichopsticks @ghostreadersthings @charlie-xo @whoami-72 @heijihattorisgf @megu-meow @complexivelovely @multiplefandomthings @hoebuns @lzaj19 @glossygreene @ramluvr @sureconfused @najaemism @manduse @imhorn1help @gamergirl5125 @r0ckst4rjk @invisible-mori @isaacdaknight @wishmemel @gyros-cum-sock @suftsunshine @i0099 @cowgirlikets @haitanibros0007 @stuffeddeer @yoontaedotin @ec3lipsy @armani78 @awkwardaardvarkforever @kereseth @leave-rae-alone @ruruvia @princess-ackerman @jjkwritingss @lilkiwikiara @opchara @telepathicheartss @starriesworlds @raechu11 @exprimidordefresas @nxxrxm @aalloochaat @strangehuman101 @tzutology

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ithebookhoarder · 8 months ago

Note

Hi! I’m not sure if you’re still taking requests for criminal minds but if you are could you do the BAU react to their so being a paramedic/firefighter? :))

If you decide to write this thank you in advance

(BAU Headcanons) If their S.O. was a paramedic/firefighter 🚨

A/N: You're very welcome! Here you are my angel. I'm always taking requests but I can't promise how long I'll take to reply and finish them 😅 Hope this is worth the wait. Also - major shout out to any first responders out there. You are literal superheroes! 💕

Warnings: Mentions of injuries, mentions of mental health, alcohol references, sexual references, references to death. (Let me know if I missed any)

Aaron Hotchner

Aaron would be honestly so in awe of you and what you do for a living. He’d also appreciate having a partner who understands what it’s like to have a job with unpredictable hours, such high stakes, and requires risking yourself to save people.

As such, he would know how important it is to prioritise time together for the two of you. It’s why he is so active with forming a family calendar as he knows that, if it isn’t written in ink, you may never find an opportunity to do something.

He is all about creating concrete plans for you both, so you have something to look forward to and actually have a chance of being able to arrange it, even if it’s months in advance. It doesn’t matter if it’s Jack’s soccer game, going for a jog in the park together, or a week-long vacation.

However, he’s learned to be far more flexible if plans don’t work out the way you’d hoped. He’s had virtual Thanksgivings with you over the phone, a boxing-day Christmas, and even turned running errands on a day off into a date-day.

We know Aaron would honestly hate knowing how much danger you’re in sometimes at work but he also knows he has no leg to stand on given his job and what he does every day. So, you both agree to let the other one know at least once a day that you’re ok, even if only by text.

You’d have to agree to a ‘no work at home’ policy for you both to even stand a chance of relaxing at home and focusing on Jack (who thinks he has the coolest parents ever! Like, two superheroes for parents? He’s the luckiest kid in the world).

Aaron would be such a proud partner too, even if he doesn’t always say it out loud. He shows it in his face every time he and Jack come to visit you at work, or when he displays a picture of you receiving an award on his desk for everyone to see.

He even helps Jack when he asks to go as you for Halloween one year - the sight of which made you cry so hard you couldn’t even speak for a good hour after. Instead, you snap a picture and carry it with you everywhere when you leave the house, and even stick a copy in your locker.

He’d have notifications set too, tracking incidents in your area so he knows when you may be working or out on a job. He’s also not above pulling the ‘FBI’ card if he even hears of someone making your life hard at work.

He’d also be the biggest hypocrite, always worried you’re not getting enough sleep or eating enough, despite him running on no sleep and three expressos.

He’d also be the first to rip into you if he found out you’d taken some unnecessary risk whilst out on a call.

“I have enough worrying about my own idiots over here without worrying about you doing something stupid too. Please, you need to be more careful, ok? I can’t and won’t lose you. Not like that.”

David Rossi

Rossi has lost many people over the years so he would definitely be terrified of losing you, and getting hurt. However, he knows what it’s like to have a passion for helping people and he’d never stop you from doing what you love and making a difference.

Besides with his crazy schedule he doesn’t mind having a partner who is mostly out working, or also operates on a crazy schedule. It’s almost complimentary, and allows you both not to miss each other too badly when you’re busy.

Rossi strikes me as a supportive partner in his own ways. For instance, he would make massive donations to fundraisers for your department and for causes supported by your work. He wouldn’t even tell you most of the time, leaving you to work out where the mystery million dollars came from overnight after you just so happened to mention it to him over dinner.

Speaking of dinner, he’d be keen to invite your colleagues over to his place for social functions, offering to hosts BBQs and family dinners. He’d also invite his BAU family too, knowing how nice it is for your worlds to mix and for people to relax amongst people who get what it’s like to deal with difficult issues.

He also makes homemade dinners at least once a week, cooking enough so that you both have leftovers to take to work for the next few days.

He’s also keen to share any recipes he can with you, so you know how to make them when you’re on shift for hours on end.

“Just because you’re busy saving lives doesn’t mean someone shouldn’t take care of you too!”

This man would also make sure to call you whenever he gets a chance, especially if he is away on a case. He likes hearing your voice and makes sure to ask all about your day so far, knowing its good for both of you to touch base.

Derek Morgan

This man would be the biggest supporter and cheerleader. Like, you know your pictures are all over his desk and he’s always bragging about how you saved someone’s life whenever he gets a chance.

“Oh yeah, that’s my baby. They’re a literal superhero. They’re badass.”

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t worry about you when you’re away working or if he sees some major incident on the news. He’ll be refreshing his phone over and over until he sees a text from you telling him you’re ok.

You know he will also be begging Penelope to see what she can find out too, through any means necessary (Hotch doesn’t exactly have to know about it…)

You bet your ass that if he does hear you’re hurt or if something is wrong then he will be bolting his way down to the ER or wherever you are the minute he is able to. Penelope would likely be one step ahead of him if he was unable to be there right away taking care of you until he can.

Morgan is such a good care giver too. He knows how hard it is to take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself so is King of supporting healthy habits. I’m talking meal plans so you eat right, proper sleeping habits when you can make them work, and getting out of your apartment on your days off.

He’s all for vegging on the sofa sometimes but he’s keen to support you where he can and remind you there’s a world outside of work and your home.

He would be the kind of partner who would suggest doing things together as a couple, whether it’s a daily jog in the park or even training for some kind of race. This gives the two of you a shared goal and also shared time together - including in the shower once you get home.

“What? It’s twice as fast this way and costs half the water bill, sweetheart.”

Also, you know this man gives the world’s best massages and he would be only too willing to give you one when you get home. He’d even try and wait up for you if he could, although you’ve come home more than once to find him passed out on the sofa.

Emily Prentiss

With her track record of trusting and being betrayed by people I think Emily would be extremely anxious about having a first responder for a partner, even if she would also be totally amazed by you and thinks you’re so badass.

Like, you can’t tell me she wouldn’t be beaming ear to ear if you ever came to visit the BAU. She would be showing you off to everyone and anyone, giving them all a face to put to the name she’s been talking about for weeks.

“Babe, you’re amazing. You’re literally saving lives every day. All I did yesterday was fill out a stack of paperwork as big as my arm.” (She ignores the disapproving look Hotch shoots her for that comment…)

It’s just that she’s scared about losing you and it would take you both a while to work out how to make your relationship work and communicate effectively with one another about your fears. I mean, it’s not like you aren’t as equally worried about her but it takes a while for you both to accept that it’s a part of your relationship and that neither of you are willing to give your jobs or each other up.

When she’s away on a case, or if you’re working overnight, then she won’t be able to sleep unless she sees she has a text from you telling her you’re ok and still in one piece. Of course, she prefers to be able to call if she can but knows it isn’t always possible for both of you if you’re in the middle of a shift.

She’s a safe space so wouldn’t take it personally when you get home and have fatigue, adrenaline dumps, or just lack any potential excitement or energy for plans you made in advance.

She’ll meet you where you are, whether it’s cancelling plans and staying in, or going out anyway because you need a distraction. As long as she’s with you then she’s happy and it isn’t like she doesn’t do the same thing after a really bad case.

Also, we know that you’re the only one she trusts to look after Sergio when she isn’t there, knowing you will be better having someone to cuddle, feed, and look after when you’re not on shift. You become Penelope’s version of Sergio too, as Emily instructs their tech analyst to keep an eye on you both when she can’t.

She’d be keen to spoil you from time to time and indulges on takeout, trips to the movies, and wants to take you to as many amazing places on holiday as she possibly can. She knows it’s good to travel and to have a complete break from your daily routine. Plus, she knows so many people and so many languages that you’re spoilt on choices of where to stay next.

I honestly feel like JJ would struggle having a first responder for a partner. She’d be such a Momma Bear that its both wonderful and intimidating. Like, we know she and Will worked it out eventually with him being a cop, but the fear of losing you would be a big issue for the two of you for a while. As would be navigating how you both deal with the other’s feelings after a bad day on the job. It takes some trial and error before you get into the swing of things.

For example, she would give the best pep talks and would also know just what to say after a bad day.

“You did everything you could, sweetheart. I am so proud of you and you saved so many lives today. You may not have been able to save that one, but they knew you tried. They knew you were there and that you cared. That’s all we can ask for in the end. You are amazing and I’ve got you.”

When you’re both home together, or if you’ve told her you’re having a rough shift, then bath times are a must. She normally has one run, with candles lit, by the time you get in the door. She is also keen to crack open a bottle of wine, or whatever you drink you want, to help you both relax as you lie together in the warm, soapy water and just forget everything for a little while.

She’d also insist on you both leaving voice messages for the other when you were away, so you could wish the other a ‘goodnight’. It’s comforting to her but she also likes being able to share them with Henry too.

Speaking of phones, this ex-media liaison would have so many alerts set up and contacts to call if she even suspects you may be out on a major incident. It’s honestly kind of mind-blowing how quickly she managed to get on the phone with your superior, after hearing you could be out on a job that had gone awry. She was in a different state at the time but wouldn’t hang up until they told her what had happened, where you were, and if you were alright.

She’s also keen to support you in a practical sense, so offers to do loads of laundry for you between shifts and also cleans the house as a way of making sure you have a nice home to come back to. You’d be sure to return the favour when you could, but she likes doing it and being able to show her appreciation for you in such a basic but important way.

JJ would be way more relaxed leaving Henry with you if she’s away, knowing your training makes you like the best possible babysitter ever.

That, and you cannot tell me that Henry would not worship the ground you walk on. After finding out what you do for work, that little angel would make siren noises whenever you’re in the car together - something you’re keen to encourage as “everyone knows the best part of the job is turning the siren on, JJ. Duh.”

Luke Alvez

Luke would be so proud and so scared for you sometimes, being a first responder.

Luke would understand that you both have super stressful jobs so is keen to suggest a ’leave work at the door’ policy unless one of you really wants to share. He knows sometimes all he wants to do after a challenging case is walk in the door and face-plant on the sofa and he’d be a hypocrite if he didn’t let you do the same… that doesn’t mean he won’t reach over and gently pull of your boots for you, and leave a glass of something on the coffee table for when you feel like it.

He is also a firm believer that Roxie cures everything, so would be only too happy to leave her with you when he’s out of town, so you can have all the cuddles and playtime you want.

He also walks her by your work if he gets time so you can come out and sneak a cuddle if you’re not too busy or on a job. Roxie is now your work’s unofficial therapy dog and she loves her role - and the added attention very much. (And you best know she has her own little version of your uniform too).

I feel like he’s the kind of guy who would wake up with you if you have an early start, even if he doesn’t, just so he can cook breakfast and make you coffee in your favourite to-go mug.

“You deserve to start your day in the right way, so go and enjoy your shower, baby, and it’ll be ready for you when you come out.”

He’d also leave you stupid little love notes in your bag too, knowing they make you smile when you find them later on. You also like to keep them and stick them in your locker for luck, and normally have one tucked in your pocket too.

He’d also recommend different kinds of music for you to listen to on shift, making you playlists you can share and add to when you’re not together. It’s got so bad your co-workers refuse to let you have the aux when you’re driving around anymore as your choices are so varied they get whiplash.

Luke also loves getting involved wherever he can, whether it’s donating time to help organise a fundraiser, bringing pizza by work, or going with you as a date to any formal events you’re invited to. He scrubs up niceeee and he loves seeing you all dressed up formal too.

Penelope Garcia

Penelope would worship the ground you walk on and frets about you like she frets about all her BAU babies when they’re out on a case - but WORSE.

So she does what she does best and compensates with love and kindness. She takes care of the people she loves and you would know that better than anyone. This queen would totally make you care packages and would make sure you had them delivered when you’re on shift.

“You spend all your time taking care of other people, my real life knight in shining armour. The least I can do is make sure you have some fluffy socks, face masks, and other basic pamper essentials to take care of yourself! Oh, and don’t forget the protein shake I made for you! And stay hydrated! And be safe!”

She’d make sure to send gifts for your co-workers too. It’s why she’s the favourite spouse of all your colleagues and she’s greeted like the queen she is whenever she visits.

Her cookies have earned her the unofficial title of ‘Star Baker’ and you best know there have been physical fights over them whenever you’ve left them in the crew mess. In fact, your boss has had to give you all warnings about it as a result, calling ‘dibs’ on them if you couldn’t all be trusted to share.

She would also give you one of her many mascots for the dashboard of your rig, knowing that the little bobblehead or whatever will remind you of her when you’re out on a call.

Speaking of calls, you know she is tuned in to all scanners / messaging systems so knows exactly where you are at all times, but especially if there is a call out. You best believe she is making sure you’re ok and has her eyes and ears open if you need help of any kind or back-up.

As a result, you know she has been scolded more than once by Hotch and by the local authorities for interfering and hijacking calls when she thinks you’re being ignored or need assistance.

Penelope would also be the first person to encourage you to attend some kind of support group, or seek out some kind of therapy, to help deal with all the stressful and traumatic things you deal with on a day to day basis. She would be only too happy to help you find one and would drive you there and back when she’s able. She’d even come along if you wanted her to.

Dr Spencer Reid

Spencer would be an incredibly proud partner and you know it. He would show his support in various different ways and would absolutely take any and all opportunities to remind people he’s dating a superhero (especially Morgan). He doesn’t understand why someone as amazing as you would choose to date someone like him.

He would like giving you book recommendations so you always have something to read on shift. He’d give you his copies to borrow, so you can enjoy his pencil notes in the margins when he’s not with you.

Not only that, but he’d also be happy to take recommendations from you too - no matter how different they may be from his usual reading material. That way you can both compare notes when you both get home and leave work behind for a moment.

Also, you know Spence would be a fountain of knowledge about your job and has probably read up on anything he didn’t already know about your field. There isn’t a piece of jargon or code that he doesn’t know and he loves trying to use it when talking to your colleagues when he visits sometimes. It earns him their respect, which you know he would be nervous about, as your co-workers are like your second family. He’s that way with the BAU and he wants to impress the people who mean the most to you.

His thirst for knowledge means he is always willing to let you practise different exercises on him and is keen to learn whatever you’re willing to tell him (something that has come in handy on many of his own cases).

In return, he would like sharing whatever statistics he has memorised about the work you do. It’s also why he is so concerned about you, knowing how much your role takes out of you. His job is tiring and traumatic enough, but he is at least part of a big team and works only one case at a time.

“I’m just saying sweetheart, it’s estimated that 30% of first responders develop behavioral health conditions including, but not limited to, depression and PTSD, as compared with 20% in the general population. If you ever want to talk to me or someone else, like a professional, then you know that’s ok.”

As much as he isn’t an overly affectionate person, I feel like he’d be the kind of person to buy you both those bracelets that you can tap and it sends a pulse to the other, letting them know you thought about them. It’s like a virtual tap on the shoulder just to let you both know they’ve got you and love you.

He’d also drive the doctors insane if you ever got hurt on the job, yelling at them to double check their diagnosis if he even thinks you’re not getting the best treatment and care possible.

He’d also insist on taking care of you during your recovery, not trusting anyone else to do it right - and he also has Dr Who primed for your entertainment. What could be better than that?

Masterlist

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chaotic-neutral-knitter · 1 month ago

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my lukewarm fandom take is that even when there's a fanon thing that I despise with a fiery passion, seeing people who also hate that thing (but haven't bothered to curate their space to avoid it) get their brains pickled by haterism about it is genuinely equally annoying/exhausting/stupid.

if you see a post that's like "I'm not really into [ship], but this is the only way it would make sense to me" and you respond to it with "ew omg why are you even THINKING about [ship] that's SO gross" then my guy you have got to log off and touch some grass or maybe find an actual problem to be concerned about.

you can be critical of something without turning into a frothing at the mouth reactionary every time it's mentioned.

#my nonsense #like y'all I've had the tag for [fanon ofmd ship I despise] blocked since march 2022 when the tag was created #a+ decision on my part. no regrets.#and I still despise it! but I just don't have to think about it ever and that's great. my brain remains unpickled.#remember: ship and let ship. don't harass people over ships. don't like; don't read.#fandom

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hookedonhuge · 25 days ago

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Drink Your Milk (Part 2)

(Part 1)

Two weeks later.

“I’m home!” Your housemate Riley beams with his signature smile that is accentuated by his thick beard. He bounces his enormous, hairy pecs a few times for you as he enters. “That was quite a workout!” Riley says, glistening with sweat from carrying twenty bottles of milk between the reinforced bags in each of his hands. “Here I am sweating like a hog, and I can only just carry half the amount you do.”

Riley, thanks to you, has quickly become nothing short of the epitome of masculinity. Raw muscle explodes out of every part of his body. He has the manliest beard and hairiest chest most people will ever see in their lives. Not to mention his unforgettable and potent musk that reeks of testosterone. He looks like how you did just one week ago. You are like his twin, just bigger, hairier and stinkier.

Riley trudges through the swamp of empty bottles, which are almost up to his knees. To think you two cleaned out the apartment only two days ago. Once he reaches you he gives you a passionate kiss on the lips. “You looked so hot in that commercial yesterday.” Riley whispers in your ear. “I can’t believe they made you shave your beard though.” Luckily for you, your hair grows so fast that you already have a thick stubble. “Also, I know it must have been hard having that milk poured down onto your chest. I know how much you hate wasting milk.”

“It was tough wasting that milk, I just wish you were there so you could have licked it off me. The good thing is I managed to negotiate and get us a lifetime supply of milk because of it. They don’t know the mistake they’ve made.” You smirk as you play with Riley’s sensitive nipples. “By the way, I got you a gig with them next week for another ad.” You twist his nipples a bit harder so that Riley’s excited reaction becomes a moan. “At this rate we will be able to ditch this apartment and buy our own place. Somewhere that can fit us better”

“I won’t miss having to take the elevator separately from you,” Riley smiles, temporarily daydreaming about a long future with you. “And we better hurry up as the building manager is already not happy that you take the elevator even by yourself.”

“It’s discrimination. I can’t help that I’m a growing boy.”

“Safety is what he told me,” Riley teases. “Anyway, I’ve never known you to wait this long to drink some milk. So let’s get into it. I think I’m ready for us to do ten each.”

“All at once? I’m confident I can do it but are you sure about yourself?” Riley nods. “Well we need you to catch up to my size so it sounds like a plan.”

GUUUUULP! GUUUUULP! Nowadays, you manage to down a whole gallon in just two big gulps. Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp. You find it cute that Riley tries to match your pace, but it just makes him gulp even more. You consider slowing down to Riley’s pace but you also know how much he loves it when you smash through gallons in just seconds.��

As Riley finishes his second bottle you finish your fifth. You both take a break, both of you panting in unison. Your belly now extends out in front of your massive pecs and it is extremely tight. “You are doing so well,” you say to Riley, patting his bloated belly.

Both of you resume. You have to slow down your pace now. The most you have done in one sitting is actually nine, and you are getting close. As you finish your ninth both with difficulty, Riley also matches his personal best as he finishes up with his sixth.

“You are catching up,” you say between heavy pants. Riley wants to respond but is too breathless. “I am so proud of you for getting this far, I know you can keep going.”

You both explore uncharted territory together. You go slowly and match Riley’s pace. Each gulp makes you feel like you are about to burst. It hurts, but stretching yourself out just that little more turns you on so much. You know that Riley is experiencing the exact same thing. You finish together, as you stare deeply into each other’s eyes.

The pressure in your stomach is unbearable. You want to burp so bad but you have to save it for once Riley is done. Riley looks defeated but you know that he can push through. “I’ll help you out Riley,” you say soothingly, rubbing his gigantic belly. God, he is so hot like this. Blown up like a balloon, milk sloshing around his big belly and massive pecs. He already looks unrecognisable from ten minutes ago, just imagine the muscle he’ll have once he has let out all the gas.

You take Riley’s eighth gallon and pour it into his mouth for him as you stare deeply into his eyes. “Just imagine how gassy we will be after this.” Seven and a quarter. “We will gas out this entire apartment building. “Seven and a half. “And after this session we will keep going for more.” Seven and three quarters. “We will be doing eleven, twelve each.” Eight done. “Twenty before we even know it.” Eight and a quarter. “Imagine how big we will be then.” Eight and a half. “Our muscles will be twice the size.” Eight and three quarters. “We will be able to lift trucks.” Nine done. “And imagine how hairy and smelly we will be.” Nine and a quarter. “Burps that the whole city will smell.” Nine and a half. “We will never stop growing together.” Nine and a quarter. “We will grow until we are as wide as we are tall. Then we will keep growing past that. We will both finish gallons in one glug. We will drink hundreds in one sitting, what will stop us? To get there you just need to finish off this one. You have smashed your record already and you are about to match mine. I know you can do it” Ten done.

He is a beast just like you. That’s why you love him. You make Riley stand up with you so that you can assess just how huge he is. Just like you his gut has over tripled in size and his pecs have ballooned out as well. “Was someone a little thirsty? You poke his belly teasingly. “You know one gallon of milk a day is a lot for an ordinary person. Let alone ten one after the other. Didn’t you already have five gallons this morning?”

“You had four gallons before I even woke up,” Riley teases back as he grabs your belly with both hands and shakes it. “Then another eight after that. I’m not nearly as gluttonous as you are, but don’t worry I will be soon.” Riley saying that makes you rock hard.

You are really feeling the cramps now and can only imagine that Riley is feeling worse, so it’s time to let it rip. Before you do Riley leans in, able to catch his breath enough to speak. “By the way, all those dreams you spoke about before. It’s unrealistic. We’ll drink more than just hundreds, and we’ll be bigger than is humanly possible and then we will grow bigger than that.” You somehow get even harder. You don’t have anything left to say. Well there is one thing that you want to say, and you just have to say it with Riley…

BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH-UUUUUUUURRRRRRRR-OOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRP!!!

#muscle fiction #gay fiction #muscle #muscle god #gay story #beefy muscle #hot pecs #thick pecs #beefy man #muscle tf #mental tf #hairy muscle #sweaty muscle #sweaty #eproctophilia #male burp

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restlesspazzi04 · 6 months ago

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Love Island: A Pazzi Fic

Part 1: Day 3

Genre: I've somehow managed to think up a forbidden love/enemies to lovers/reformed player/slow burn love island fic all together so imma pat myself on the back bc ive been getting so many asks for all five

A/N:

This is just the introduction chapter to a series that will be very loosely updated as it's more of a fun project i'm working on but hope you guys enjoy because this is just me riding off the love island hyperfixation im in lol

Extra Note: this is will be on tumblr only mainly bc this series will be trash and purely for my self entertainment so idc as much. slow falling will remain on ao3 only :)

ik some people have difficulty reading on tumblr tho so if i get enough asks i will put this on ao3 if its easier

word count: 3.2k (this will fluctuate depending on my mood)

Format Clarification:

When the contestant name is in front of the text, that means it's a cutaway and not actually said in the villa!

anything in italics is to be read in Iain Stirling voice please i love him

Day 3:

It's day 3 and it's heating up in the villa! Will the current couples pass the test of temptation as two new bombshells enter for the ultimate challenge? Find out here on Love Island USA: WLW Sports Edition!

When Paige first got the call that she was nominated for Love Island, she knew who put her name in the sea of women’s athletes picked for the show. With her social media agents wanting to get the “player” allegations away from her image to make herself more marketable, she was a shoo-in for the show.

Paige was confident in her coupling. Ellie, the Olympic swimmer from Australia, was up her ally of girls: hot, brunette, and gay. They had been going strong for the first three days in the villa, with Ellie picking Paige on Day 1 coupling. In the mess of drama the other couples were whirlwind into, they had remained together as a voice of reason.

“I’m just not really feeling her I don’t know,” Kate groans, slapping the ping pong ball back to Paige.

“Bro it’s been three days and you’re already tired of your match? Couldn’t be me.” Paige responds, returning the ball.

Kate and Paige being the only WNBA athletes in the villa naturally stuck together as close friends, being each other's confidants on Love Island. They had the common ground of basketball solidifying their sisterhood and frequently took each other's advice.

“It’s not that. I just feel like there’s no spark. Sarah is great and all, but I can’t imagine spending the rest of my villa time with her.”

“Why don’t you explore your options tonight if we recouple? That’ll start some crazy drama.” Paige laughs mischievously, wiggling her eyebrows at an unamused Kate Martin.

“All the other couples are pretty locked in and I don’t wanna be a homewrecker… plus they’re probably bringing in new bombshells today if I got the formula right. Hopefully, they’re my type because I don’t think it’s working out for me and Sarah. ”

“New bombshells? I mean none of them better be basketball players. That’s Ellie’s type to a T. It was hard enough fighting against you.” Paige jokes, slightly concerned at the idea of new people. It wasn’t like she and Ellie were completely locked in, but Paige knew she’d be at risk of getting kicked off the show if any of the new bombshells coupled up with Ellie.

“Ellie is not my type. She’s too nice. I need some passion in my girl."

“I like nice. She’s sweet and brings me orange juice in the morning.” Paige says, dropping her paddle when Kate sends the ball flying past her head, "Drama stresses me out. That's why Ellie is perfect for me."

“Nah, I like a little fight. It’s hot when a girl is mad at you… you should know better than me ‘Miss Star Point Guard on the Golden State Valkyries’. Aren’t women always fighting over you?”

“I already told you I’m not a player in the real world or the villa. Why does no one on the island believe me?” Paige exclaims, plopping down on the way-to-colorful couch in the Villa playroom.

“I don’t know… maybe you’re insane eye contact with everyone you meet?” Kate says sarcastically, taking her seat next to Paige.

“Blame my parents! They’re the ones who told me that eye contact is respectful." Paige argues before adding, "I can’t help I got beautiful eyes.”

“Shut u-"

Kate is effectively cut off when KK Harvey starts screaming "I GOT A TEXT" throughout the entire villa, everyone making their way to the poolside where she was sitting.

"Islanders please gather at the fire pit for a surprise! #WatchOutCouples #Bout to drop a bomb!" KK reads loudly, the whole villa shouting in response.

"Welp, I guess this is your moment to find a new girl." Paige sighs, making her way over to the fire pit.

"Not yours?"

"Nope, I'm pretty happy with Ellie."

"You sure about that? Not even keeping an open eye?" Kate teased, ragging on Paige's loyalty.

"I'm definitely not re-coupling with some newcomer." Paige asserts firmly.

"If you say so."

As the Islanders all flock to the firepit, taking their seats next to their partners, they await for further instruction.

“I GOT A TEXT!” Kate hoots out as the other islanders get excited, “It says ‘Get ready as your two new bombshells join you guys in the villa! #AreYouReady?’”

Paige looks over at Ellie, who’s already gripping tighter on Paige’s arm at the news of Bombshells.

“I hope they’re not your type,” Ellie whispers shyly into Paige’s ear. It was a cute gesture, one that should’ve made Paige blush. Paige just gives her a reassuring squeeze on the arm, leaning in to whisper back.

“I already got a beautiful girl, don’t worr-”

Paige is interrupted as shouting rings through the villa as two new girls make their way into the villa.

“Bro, can you see her?” Kate says, pulling Paige up immediately as two figures appear in the distance.

“Not with you jumping on my shoulders.” Paige retorts back, leaning up to get a better look, “They’re tall.”

“Wait, I think I recognize one of them,” Kate says with her eyes squinted

Kate: You guys are ruthless in bringing my exact type. Fuck, I want to stay loyal to Sarah but I do still want to keep my options open, you know?

Paige has to brace herself for this entrance. She recognized the two bombshells immediately as they got closer. The WNBA world was small and both of these contestants were prominent figures in the league. Azzi Fudd and Nika Muhl, the star guards for the LA Sparks would be joining the girls on the island.

“No way they brought in more girls from the league!” Kate whispers into Paige’s ear.

“Did they run out of gays for other sports? Or is the league just super gay?” Paige responds in a nervous whisper. Ellie had literally told Paige on the first day that her type was basketball girls and it was one of the main reasons why Ellie had picked her. It was not to Paige’s advantage to have multiple girls chasing after her girl.

“Wait, I know both of them. We worked out together at Kelsey Plum’s dawg class for a few days. She’s super hot not gonna lie.” Kate whispered lowly so Sarah wouldn’t hear.

“Oh yeah, I’ve met them a few times. Did you know that they both were gonna come to UCONN but chose UCLA last minute?” Paige droned on, her eyes oddly trained on Azzi as they finally reached the fire pit. It suddenly dawned on Paige that she had never seen the younger girl in a bikini and it set an uncomfortable fire ablaze in her stomach.

Azzi: Hi, my name is Azzi Fudd and I’m a 5’ 11” shooting guard for the Sparks. I wanted to come to Love Island to find my future wife and make a strong connection with someone. I have been in a lot of relationships and they don’t seem to go well for me, so I hope I find my match here!

Nika: I’m Nika Muhl and I’m a 6’ foo-

Azzi: 5’ 10” don’t lie Nika

Nika: Don’t cut me off! Anyway, I’m a point guard for the LA Sparks and I wanted to come to Love Island to finally find my love match and establish a strong connection. I’m super excited to meet the Islanders.

Another text sound rings through the air, coming from Azzi’s hand.

“Bombshell’s Azzi and Nika, Pick two people to go on dates with tomorrow before bed tonight. Have fun getting to know everyone tonight in the villa! #newcomers #shootyourshot!” Azzi read out, inciting excitement through the villa again.

“Hey you’re Azzi and Nika, right? Guard’s on the Sparks?” Coco asks, making room for them around the fire pit to welcome them.

“Yeah, we’re shocked they picked us to go together since we knew each other. You’re Coco Gauff. I’m a big fan.” Azzi gushes, hugging Coco.

“Hey Kate,” Nika says, acknowledging the blonde in the crowd as she scans around, “How’s the island?”

“Good. Surprised to see you guys here but I’m hyped. We need more basketball representation in here.” Kate jokes.

“We get enough ‘basketball is the best sport’ debating from these two. Now we got more.” KK Harvey jokes, motioning to the two basketball blondes in the pit.

“Basketball is amazing though, you gotta admit.” Azzi plays along, earning a few lighthearted groans from the rest of the villa.

“Just promise you shut up Paige before she goes on a whole rant. Kate just eggs on that little pest.” Coco groans.

“I’m never wrong Coco, don’t play with me. Tennis is fun but basketball is art.” Paige says, earning more groans from the group. “Do you guys know who you wanna pull for chats?” Ellie asks the two bombshells, jutting into the conversation.

“Um, I have my eyes on a few people but I’m gonna see for the next few hours as I get to know more people on the island,” Nika responds.

“We know you guys are in couples right now, but we just wanted to wait until we got to know more people’s vibes,” Azzi adds, looking around all the girls in the pit. A few couples had already gone off to different parts of the villa, but she was getting a good look at everyone left. There were a few people on her radar and a few people who weren’t.

Azzi: Kate was making some pretty clear eye contact with me, but she’s on my “pulling for chats” roster.

The group spends the next few minutes getting to know each other and filling in the two on the island news. Paige tried to focus on Ellie squeezing her arm, but she was distracted by things she couldn’t comprehend.

Things such as Azzi Fudd making flashing bouts of eye contact with her to no end. Paige was not one to falter at strong eye contact, but she couldn’t help but grow slightly nervous under the shooting guard's gaze. It wasn’t rare for Paige to catch the eye of someone. New people entering the villa the past few days had flocked to her, but she rejected them to no avail to remain loyal to Ellie. It was still fun flirting and making stable eye contact was one of her specialties. But Azzi Fudd seemed to be looking at her with a specific glint that Paige couldn’t pinpoint.

Paige: Did you guys see the way she was looking at me? I can’t tell if she wants me in her bed or wants me dead.

Annoyance? Lust? Hatred? C’mon Paige tell us what you see!

“So you guys want a little villa tour?” Kate asks suddenly while stepping slightly closer to Azzi, “It’s super nice.”

The group makes their way around the villa, showing the two new islanders all the spots. Ellie and Paige stayed hand-in-hand as they walked, Ellie refusing to let go. Even when Paige got closer to Azzi coincidentally, the shooting guard would make it a point to take two steps away and it didn’t help that Ellie was pulling her in the other direction. They end up at the rooms as they finish off the night, the girls entering their assigned makeup rooms to get ready for bed. Azzi is put into Paige, Kate, Coco, and KK’s room, getting spilt up from Nika.

“So Azzi, what do you think of the villa?” Coco asks while wiping her makeup off.

“It’s nice, bigger than I expected. Soul ties are a lot more secretive than I thought.” Azzi answers, unpacking her bags.

“Yeah, a lot of shit goes down there. If you go to soul ties at night we know you’re fucking or something.” KK laughs.

“Do you know who you’re picking for your dates tomorrow? You get two right?” Paige asks, speaking up for the first time.

“Yeah, two. I’m not sure who I’m picking yet. I think they’re asking me to pick in an hour so I have time to think in the shower.”

“What’s your type?” Kate asks Azzi boldly, getting an approval look from Paige.

“Uhh, I tend to focus a lot on personality. Just someone who can match my competitiveness and my energy. But if we’re talking looks, I tend to go for tall blondes.” Azzi says casually, immediately getting Kate to snap her eyes to Paige.

Paige: Is Azzi flirting with me or Kate? If it’s me, I’m in trouble. Ellie is not going to be happy if I go on a date tomorrow.

“Is there a separate shower room? I need to unpack my bottles.” Azzi says while standing up.

“Yeah, it’s down the hall to the left. That’s where our group showers.” Coco instructs, getting a nod of thank you before Azzi leaves.

“Hold up, was she talking about me?” Kate polls the group the second Azzi safely leaves the room, “Or was she walking about the other two blondies?”

“I think she was just stating her type buddy.” KK Harvey jokes, “Plus, she’s totally talking about me. She’s been giving me the eyes.”

“Really?” Paige chimes in curiously, “Like slightly angry but confusingly hot?”

“No, like she wanna look into my soul…What type of looks is she giving you?” KK questions.

“Nothing… she wasn’t really looking at me, just wondering,” Paige adds quickly. She was probably just overthinking due to the reveal of her type.

“Back off KK, you’re happy with Kylie. Sarah and I have been distant for days.” Kate playfully challenges.

“Kylie’s great, but Azzi and Nika are hot, not going to lie. I kinda hope I get to go on the date with them. Don’t tell Kylie though, she might kill me.”

“As long as you don’t tell Sarah. I wanna test my connection with the bombshells but I don’t want to blindside Sarah.”

“You guys are acting like Azzi and Nika want you guys. She could be talking about girls in the other room.” Coco jokes, butting into the heated debate.

“Please, Coco. We get it. You and Paige are in happy little couples and don’t need to worry about recoupling. I would say Kylie would leave me the second another hockey girl comes in here.” KK says sarcastically before adding, “I’ve never gone for a basketball girl before.”

“I have. And I know them better than you loser. Azzi said tall, that means basketball. She was clearly talking about me.” Kate argues back.

“I’ll be right back,” Paige says suddenly, jumping from her makeup chair.

“Where are you going?” Kate asks as Paige starts exiting the room.

“Just going to chat with Azzi for a bit. Nothing serious. I’ll be back in 30 seconds.” Paige says quickly, ignoring any questioning she got from the group.

Paige makes her way down the hall, knocking twice on the shower room door before it slowly squeaks open.

“It’s unlocked,” Azzi says simply, her composure even.

“Oh. Some people are uncomfortable with people coming in during showers so I always knock. Wasn’t sure if you were showering.”

“Nope, just unpacking,” Azzi says shortly, confusing Paige again, “Do you need to shower? I can leave.”

“Oh, no. I actually wanted to talk to you real quick before you pick your dates for tomorrow.” Paige starts.

“Sure, what did you want to talk about?” Azzi asks cautiously, continuing to organize her skincare on her shelf.

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m in a pretty solid connection with Ellie and I don’t want you to waste your date on me because I’m mostly taken. You can still pick me, but I just want to be transparent from the beginning before we get to know each other.” Paige says while sitting up on the sink.

Azzi stood up from her packing, giving Paige a focused look of mild confusion.

“What makes you think I’m picking you?” Azzi asks with an even tone, eyes unwavering from Paige’s.

“Well, you said tall blondes are your type and that’s only me and Kate. So I assumed you’d use your two picks on us.” Paige says, slightly less confident.

Azzi steps closer to Paige, closing the gap between them.

“Is it true that if you take off your top they can’t air it because it’s nudity?” Azzi whispers into Paige’s ear, pulling the blonde in.

“Uh, yeah? They can’t air it. But they get kinda annoyed when we do it and talk about villa stuff.” Paige whispers shakily into Azzi’s ear.

“Turn your head,” Azzi says as she takes two steps back, swiftly taking off her bikini top.

Paige had never swiveled so hard, almost falling off the sink counter. Paige turned her head halfway before she realized she could see Azzi in the mirror reflection, leading her to close her eyes as fast as possible.

“I know your reputation in the league, but I’m not trying to air out your business on TV, so I’m going to speak like this,” Azzi yells out before turning around, “You can turn around now, it’s just my back.”

Paige opens her eyes to see Azzi’s long braids flowing down her bare back, the only article of clothing being her bottom bikini. Azzi turned her head to speak.

“How are you going to judge me on my so-called reputation?” Paige questioned back, getting offended at the “Player” accusations she hated.

“You ghosted one of my friends, so don’t act surprised I’m cautious of you. I came to the Villa to find love and take home the win.”

“So did I. You haven’t seen me with Ellie. I have a lot of layers, you’d be surprised.” Paige says with a smirk, her voice growing bolder.

“Layers? Yeah, ten layers of player. I know what you did to Alyssa.”

“Alyssa? Who’s that?” Paige asks, racking her brain for possible Alyssa’s in her past.

“Jesus, you don’t even remember her. That’s crazy.” Azzi scoffs accusatorily, “Anyway, don’t worry. I won’t pick you for the date, I’m not going to intrude on you and Ellie. Seems like you guys are happy.”

Paige watches as Azzi slips her bikini back on. Watching the muscles on her back contract as she pulls her top over her head. Her bare skin was addicting to look

So addicting, Paige was caught red-handed admiring her as Azzi turned back around.

“You sure you're happy with Ellie?” Azzi jokes dryly.

“Very. She’s a great girl. Exactly my type.” Paige challenges back, leaning her body toward Azzi.

“What is your type, Paige?”

“Hot, Brunette, Pretty Eyes,” Paige says a little quieter as Azzi steps a little too close for comfort.

“I see,” Azzi answers, nodding her head.

“Don’t think I’m calling you my type. You just happen to fit it.” Paige adds weakly.

“You saying I got pretty eyes? I know I'm the other two.” Azzi asks playfully, opening the door to the shower room.

“Maybe. Let me look into them longer and I’ll decide.” Paige chirps back, a surge of confidence coursing through her.

“In your dreams, Bueckers.” Azzi sings out with a laugh as she takes her exit, leaving a mildly dazed Paige on the sink.

This was certainly going to be an interesting summer in the Villa for Paige.

A/N: I apologize if this is shit, this is just funny for me.

#pazzi #pazzi fic #pazzi fics #love island usa #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #kate martin #nika muhl #can u tell im obsessed with love island lol #pretend it makes sense please

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canmom · 5 days ago

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one of the people i most looked up to when i was first transing has, many years later, pretty hard disidentified with words like 'trans woman', 'transfem' and so on. they still write to an audience of mostly dolls, but they're doing some other gender thing now, and tend not to like being put in the trans woman/transfem box.

chewing on this and other things. fundamentally I don't think gender is real. I have called it an egregore, and that still seems apt. and yet, words like 'trans', 'autistic' and so on are a pretty powerful correlate with the sort of person I tend to vibe with.

transing isn't revealing some inner girl essence. the forces that produce a trans woman when enacted on the eager-to-reshape-itself human brain don't necessarily only produce trannies: it is one of a number of moves available to you.

it is, however, a really big play in the game. given how ludicrously much gender infects every social interaction, going off-script in a big way is going to affect your psychology hugely. doing that activates the feedback loops, the self-exciting instability, a set of rituals let you become something more 'real', or perhaps more precisely, something you have actively defined. the unpredictable outcome of that process is both the entire point and not the point at all.

rachel pollack spoke of transing in terms of religious ecstasy. "I would argue that transsexuality arises from a passion so powerful that it transcends issues of happiness. The word passion originally meant suffering, not pleasure."

so having made a declaration like, i am this sort of creature, you break everything down and start to rebuild. you go on to take actions to affirm it, or even simply build an inner, secret core, and doing this - physically, socially - transforms the resonances of your thinking.

we have constructed many rituals to make the declaration of transness more definite. a lot of them will affect your sensory experience: the immediate effect of hrt on how your skin responds to touch is surely one of the great virtues. take surgery, for example - do you need to get your penis turned inside out? well: the drama of making a drastic alteration to your body, and the sheer difficulty of getting it, makes it an especially powerful ritual. but it's not the only way to go. indeed, most girls I know haven't done it (whether or not they want to), and instead, the symbol of woman-with-penis has become one of our core subculture-images. in the last few years, the word faggot has come back in a big way, with a real gendered connotation now, sorta like what the girls on here were trying to get at with baeddel before all the shit happened. that's also a move.

so this phenomenon, this new game we're building together, includes surgeries as a move. but it also includes a lot of the subculture-building classics: weird fashions, radical politics, drugs, kinky sex, making noises on the computer, and so on.

and since the whole point of this thing is a process of defining yourself into existence, as soon as something starts to become a cliché, an orthodoxy, a mandated practice, it starts to break down. everything is stupid fucking contextual. if everyone around you is desperately pursuing genital surgery, saying 'I like my dick and want to keep it' becomes a potent move. but if the pendulum swings the other way, once everyone is saying 'do you really need surgery, you know you don't need it to Be Trans, please stay as you are since it's easier for us that way', maybe that ritual regains some of its power. it's perverse. perversity is kind of necessary to it.

so the meta evolves.

i am speaking about transness here, but i think similar forces are at work with other self-id games, autism and so on. there is like, actual biological variation, but far more important is the ideas we're playing with on top of that. what concepts are activated when I think 'autism', now largely positive associations: sensory this, obsession that; not the same as twenty years ago. thankfully my fellow autists made an interesting game to make of it: a space to express something.

#introspective nightposting

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jyuansgf · 7 months ago

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nsfw content ahead. minors dni.

— friends with benefits / blade x f!reader. cw: 18+ content, angst, catching feelings.. lol, modern au, college setting (?).

synopsis: friends with benefits with blade, but is it really benefiting the both of you? are you both genuinely benefiting from the setup you both have, or could it be causing unforeseen complications? can you keep your feelings at bay, especially when the physical intimacy is so compelling that everything else seems to fade away?

NOTES : don’t fall in love with your fwb !! HAHA made this since a lot of people are thirsting over him in my inbox (you guys are heard) also, sorry for the slow/late updates! might make a part two (continuation) if some people demand for it ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ meanwhile, i just wanna have a situationship with yingxing..

despite being in the same circle of friends you met through college, knowing him was no different than meeting anyone else (or at least you think) from hopping on clubs to another one with your friends was how you met each other. however, your relationship took an unexpected turn. if it wasn’t for your friend who kindly asked blade to take you home after you had too much to drink, things might have been different.

you can’t even comprehend how things escalated to this point. your friend would even frequently ask why you’re constantly not present during their night clubs. however, it would always end up with you responding to their messages while you’re completely preoccupied by him, as he fucks you dumb on your apartment. yet, you would always find yourself waking up to a cold bed, right.. you two only agreed to this. the thing is you both benefitted physically but not mentally. you both know this isn’t perfect but it is what you both agreed on, and he’s been fine with it, at least on the surface.

truth to be told, you can’t even remember the last time you actually had a genuine conversation with each other, without it devolving into a heated, passionate fuck in whichever room he’s dragged you into, or even in your own flat – not like you want him to know, no.. you don’t want to break this thing you have with him yet, at least not now.

in fact, you would even ask yourself if you can still handle this situation with him – whether it's during friends’ gatherings or just in general, it’s as if you barely know each other, like you're just a fleeting presence in his life. but behind closed doors, it’s as though the two of you can’t get enough of each other – fucking until midnight, until you plead for him to touch you in a way that no one else has. until you forget the unresolved feelings you have for him.

— “you sure have a lot going on in your mind even when i’m this deep inside you,” his laughter was low and throaty, filling the quiet room as he pressed himself deeper into you. the sensation of his breath cascading across the sensitive skin of your neck sent shivers down your spine. his rough stubble grazed against your tender flesh, creating a light, teasing contrast – and a fresh hickey, a silent testament of the night's fervor, adorned your neck as a token.

right, you were probably too absorbed in your thoughts. it wasn’t like you were always this way, but you often found yourself deep in thought whenever you two fuck lately.

“what, since when did you become a psychic?” you queried, a gentle chuckle seeping from your lips. your fingers gracefully danced through his hair, twirling and playing with the strands as you gazed at him. a playful glint sparkled in your eyes as a thought crossed your mind. “perhaps, the reason i can still manage coherent thoughts is because you haven’t been fucking me enough, blade." you teased, the hint of a challenge lingering in your words – but you intended to strike at a nerve, and you guaranteed it with the way he suddenly tightened his grip on your hips. the most satisfying part to you. as if you can count on your fingers with how many times he fucked you dumb enough to even think straight.

“is that so? well, i can’t have you thinking i’m not trying hard enough, can i?” his deep laughter echoed throughout the room in response to your playful banter, a sound you’d grown accustomed to — a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth, he liked it when you’re being like this.. when you’re being cheeky, maybe too confident enough to think that he can’t fuck you until you’re a mess. “well then, i suppose we just have to rectify that,” his voice held a teasing edge, as he shifted his position, his cock slowly mushing the walls of your pussy, making you whine. his hands trailing up your sides — causing a shiver to ripple across your skin. his eyes, filled with lust, locked onto yours.

“do you want me to force it out of your system or should i just take you out of your senses?” his voice dripping to a low growl that sent a thrill through your core, your eyes slowly watching the way he moves — his smirk widened at your sharp intake of breath with the way his hands began to roam over your body, generating sparks wherever they touched.

it was moments like these, when the world outside between you seemed to fade away, that you found yourself inexplicably drawn to him, despite the complicated thing you both have.

“…i’m open to either option,” you muttered softly, pausing momentarily to consider the weight of your words — a playful grin displayed across your face, reflecting your proposition, as you continued, “but i think, i’d prefer to have both if possible.” a teasing giggle bubbled up from your chest, a sweet melody that filled the tension between you two. almost unconsciously, your hands found their way to his neck, fingers gently tracing his neck, adding an intimate touch to your playful jest — filled with anticipation.

blade could only reply with a chuckle, but you knew you were in for it. soon enough — he’ll have you fucked dumb on the mattress, until you’re a crying mess on his cock, until you two forget about the topic on hand. you don’t even plan on telling him, not this time. but at least you get what you want.

#blade smut #blade x you #blade x reader #hsr blade #hsr x reader #hsr imagines #hsr smut #honkai star rail x reader #hien writes ୨୧

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createdbytragedy · 7 months ago

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GOODBYE KISS

Pairing: Choi Beomgyu x reader Genre: Fluff, established relationship Warning: None A/N: Just a small drabble after a long break. I actually forget that the millions of scenarios and fanfics ideas in my head aren't gonna write itself. "Its getting late, you should go....." you mumbled to your boyfriend, breaking away from his kiss. "I have 10 minutes more," he stated, capturing your lips once again, his big hands rubbing your back up and down, down and up, soothing you from whatever stressed and doubt you had before. He always did that. Kisses you senseless until you forgot all about the world around you and the only thing you can feel was his presence and his lips dancing with yours. "Don't wanna go tonight~" he whined, pulling out but still holding your chin as he looked at you lovingly. You chuckled," You never wanna go, Gyu" "Don't wanna leave you." he mumbled, wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer as he placed soft little kisses on your cheeks and forehead, making you giggle. His embrace was so warm, so comfortable and so perfect. Like his arms were made to hold you. Like you were made for each other, after all. You almost felt selfish, wanting him to keep him all to yourself. Maybe make him stay tonight. You knew he would if you just say the word but the rational side you of you knew he had to go. There were other people out there who needed him too. And right now, his fans needed him. "Are you gonna miss me while I'm gone?" he asked, looking at you with those golden eyes that always made your heart skip a beat. "Of course, baby. Will miss you every minute and every second. " You answered, smiling at him. He smiled back, content with the assurance. "DO you --" he was cut off by the horn honking from outside your shared apartment several times a row. Beomgyu groaned, hesitantly retracting his arms from your waist. "ARGHHH!! don't wanna go yet..." he pouted. You smiled, standing up and cupping his cheek. "Just 3 to 4 weeks baby. Then I'm all yours again. You can do it for me, right?" He nodded. For you? Yes, he could. "Don't skip meals and drink lots of water. And I'll call you whenever I'm free. I love you a lot, okay?" You smiled, " I know, baby. I love you more." You said, pulling him into a hug that he melts into. His soft chuckle vibrating in your ear. "Gonna marry you one day." he whispered. The horn honked once again. This time, longer and more consistent. You laughed together before making your way to the door. "Goodnight, sweetheart. Have a good sleep tonight, hm." He said, walking out the door. "You too, honey. Let me know when you reached." you smiled as you watched Beomgyu make his way to the black limo standing outside. His head turn every second, smiling and waving at you until he was inside and the limo drove off. You sigh, closing the door and making your way inside the house that felt too empty without the presence of your boyfriend. You turned on the lights of the kitchen, ready to do the dishes you procrastinated to spend more time with him. You were putting on the apron when you heard the front door open. Your heart skipping a beat at the possibility of a robbery, until you heard the familiar footsteps. "Huh? Gyu, did you forget some---" in a second, you were swiped off the ground, the apron falling from your hands as Beomgyu held you, placing a passionate kiss on your lips. It didn't take long for you to respond, wrapping your arms around his neck and letting go of the world once more. His kisses always felt like that. Passionate enough to make you think you were dreaming. He pulled out first, grinning at you with twinkling eyes as he spoke. "I forgot my goodbye kiss."

#txt #fluff #beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #txt fluff #txt x reader #fanfiction #kpop #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu drabble #choi beomgyu x reader #choi beomgyu fluff #choi beomgyu scenarios #txt scenarios

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igotanidea · 7 months ago

Text

3 minutes: Jason Todd x reader

Warnings: SMUT MDNI! swearing

***

Hey Jason, can I ask you something?

Y/N and Jason were cuddling and kissing on the couch, things started to become a little heated and then, out of the sudden, she got into a questioning mood.

Obviously, Jason wasn’t exactly content with the unexpected shift, but gritting his teeth and fighting the urge to just continue with the steamy make out session, he nodded with the calm expression on his face.

If only she knew how much it took from him to keep it.

“Sure thing, babe. What’s on your mind?”

“Which girl would you prefer: a skinny, pretty and a little sad, shy one or a little heavier, sassy, funny and energetic one?”

“Well…” he muttered, considering the answer. He was going to be as honest as possible without hurting Y/n’s feelings. “While I suppose initially a pretty girl would get my attention I do like when there’s more depth to people. And sassy humor is pretty much essential for me?”

“Was that a question or an answer?” she teased, catching up with his hesitant tone.

“Don’t you know me? I think that by now you should realize that looks are not everything.”

“Duh!” she chuckled, kissing the tip of his nose playfully “Did you think I was with you cause you are handsome?” she repeated her action “Cause you are not.” The seriousness of her tone was bellied by a grin. “At all.”

“Oh really? And here I thought I was your personal male supermodel.” He laughed wholeheartedly pushing her away as she teased him. “But hey, it’s on the inside what counts. And when it comes to that – you got plenty going on.”

“So I’m like your kinder joy?”

“That’s actually quite an accurate description. Sweet on the inside if you are patient enough to tear through the foil.”

“Wow. Um- I didn’t actually expect you to use such an illustrative comparison….”

“Yeah, that’s me.” He smirked with a face full of complacency. Always in your corner when you are feeling down.”

“Thank you… I guess I’ve been feeling a little insecure lately. Except not the little. And not lately.”

“Good thing you got me here then, huh? Now can we please forget about that and focus on us?”

“Mh. Where were we then?” she whispered seductively leaning forwards brushing her lips over his softly.

“Right where we belong.” He responded by pulling her to him, kissing passionately, trailing lips down her neck, feeling the heat rise again.

“Yeah… Yeah, I think I’m starting to remember something…”

“What do you remember, baby?” Jason whispered against her skin, caressing her shoulder, pulling the strap of her top down.

“Something good…” she hummed, closing eyes and letting him continue his ministrations “Something so good…”

“Care to share?” In a blink of an eye she was laying on the couch on her back, Jason’s hands moving over her belly “or would you rather keep it a secret?” he leaned down nipping at her earlobe.

“Isn't it exciting to know that there are some things that stay just between us...?” She moaned softly, tilting her head and caressing his chest.

“Definitely.” Jason nuzzled his nose into her chest, inhaling her scent “Just you and me having something special.” Once more he captured her lips, tangling fingers in her hair, keeping her head in place, not that she was going anywhere.

The soft sigh that left her lips only aroused him more when he rolled on his back, pulling her with him so she was on top, straddling him.

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way, princess.”

She laid on top of him, her full body weight pressing him into the mattress, tracing hands down his sides, reaching for the hem of his T-shirt. The effect was almost immediate. Jason arched into her touch, his cock hardening at the feel of her fingers on his bare skin.

“You drive me crazy…” he grabbed her waist and pulled her closer, grinding against her, though still in clothes. Regardless, the undeniable need for friction was too much to just lay still. “But I wouldn’t want anyone else doing it to me…”

“I sure as hell hope you wouldn't...” She kissed his neck, grinding her hips on him as well.

“Fuck, I don’t even want to imagine another woman-“ he gripped her hips, continuing the movement.

“Don’t ever mention another woman when we’re together.” She almost hissed, cutting his sentence in the middle, biting on his neck, leaving a hickey and licking the stinging place.

There was no way to deny that her possessiveness and marking the territory attitude only turned him harder.

“I’m not planning on it.” He responded, tangling fingers in her hair, guiding her head lower on his neck. “Besides, I already got the only woman I need.”

“The only one you’ll ever need.” She corrected, raising her gaze on him.

“The only one I’ll ever need…” his tone was hoarse and sultry as he leaned to her again.

Being stopped with Y/N’s grip on his chin.

“Be a good boy and strip for me, will you?” She gave him a look full of fire that left him lost like a little puppy, ready to follow the orders of the owner.

“Well since you asked so nicely—” Y/N moved away from him to give him space to undress and the sudden loss of contact made him almost tear his clothes away. Anything to get her body against him again, not that he was going to let her win this. “But remember, baby, payback’s a bitch…”

“Well then, how about I make it up to you then?”

She slid down, standing on the bed foot, starting to take off her clothing piece by piece. Turning it into a sensual striptease. Tracing her body while removing her shirt, inch by painful inch. Shaking her hips while taking off the skirt. Bending down in a little provocative manner during the removal of her tights.

Almost daring him to make a move on her.

But Jason was hypnotized with her every gesture. Eyes wide with desire, hands clutching the sheets, wanting both to pin her underneath him and to watch this show forever. Evidence of his lust was obvious in his naked body, not that he would ever do much to hide it. If anything – the hardness was rather supposed to be exposed for her to lure her in.

Nonetheless, Y/N seemed to be lost in the world of her own, continuing her dance. Caressing and playing with her breast before unclasping the bra, sliding it off her body, freeing her chest from confinements, and finally -- sliding down her panties. The moment they both were waiting for, one more than the other.

“Fuck, Y/N…. You do know just how to turn me on, don’t you?”

In response, she crawled to the head of the bed, leaning on all fours, while searching for his lips.

“I can’t get enough of you…” his hands slid down her back, all the way to her butt, kneading the flesh there.

“That’s kind of the plan…” she pressed her chest to his torso, brushing over him like a wild feline, tracing kisses down his neck, unrestrained by anything.

“Yes, kitten… show me how you want me…” he slapped her ass playfully, one hand kept on palming her butt, while he used the other to start stroking himself.

“Oh now, you’re doing my job for me….?” With a gentle pat, she removed his fingers from his cock and wrapped her own around him.

“Fuck… fuck, Y/N, yes… keep doing that baby….” He groaned, closing eyes and moving against her hand. “Make me yours…”

“You’re going to be a good boy for me?” she stroked him harder, focusing her eyes on him.

“Yes, yes ma’am, I’ll be whatever you want, just don’t stop…”

“Don't worry my pretty baby... I’m not stopping any time soon...” She flicked her thumb over the head of his cock, gathering the pre cum and pulling it to her mouth, licking the droplets with the tip of her tongue.

“So goddamn hot…” Jason groaned from the back of his throat.

“You can touch me too, my little bird…” she whispered in his ear, sliding a little closer to him once more, making it more than obvious where she wanted his touch.

“Like that?” he cupped her breast, letting the familiar weight adjust to his hand. Squeezing and twisting her nipple in a way that made her squirm and gasp for air. The way he knew she liked.”

“Oh yes…”

“That’s right, kitten. You enjoy my touch, cause it’s the only one you’ll ever get for the rest of your life. You’re mine.”

“Fuck, I love it when you get a little possessive.” She placed her hands on his on her chest, showing him to touch her harder.

“And I love it when you get so vulnerable and open with me…”

“Oh I am open.” She smirked, hooking one leg over his hip, straddling him, but not taking in yet “I am so open. And so wet.”

“I can tell.” He grabbed her waist, trying to pull her down, kissing like a wild man, unable to stop even though she kept on pulling away from time to time. Purposefully. To leave him wanting and needy. “Don’t fucking do that, kitten.” He groaned chasing her lips, his tone both a threat and a pleading and with the sudden pressure on her body she knew she would be sporting bruises the other day. “You know exactly what you’re doing to me, don’t you>?”

“Yeah, I do. But don’t worry, I will abuse my power in all the pleasurable ways.” Y/n hummed lifting her hips, hovering mere inches over his shaft.

Jason’s eyes darkened with desire.

“Abuse me all you want. Just … don’t… fucking… stop… Please…”

“Oh my pretty boy... My heart is breaking seeing you hurting...” She slowly sank to his length. “Is it better now...?” She tenderly brushed hair from his sweaty forehead, observing his eyes falling closed feeling her wrapped around him like that.

“So much better…” he gasped, caressing her back, wanting so much more, but frozen in this moment. He buried face in his hair, breathing in her scent. The smell of her shampoo, the musky aroma of incoming sex and the individual one of her body. Irreplaceable. Hitting all his olfactory sensors, bringing out the feeling of home. She was his home. His everything. “Y/n….” he whispered “fuck…”

“Is it warm for my little bird?”

“Yeah, it’s getting warmer, all right. And most of that heat is because of you.” He nibbled on her neck, leaving love bites on the entire length.

“Cause I’m so hot?” she started rocking her hips on him

“You have no fucking idea.” He grabbed her waist and started thrusting forwards with almost extraordinary energy and enthusiasm. “And I fucking love it.”

As the unexpected force of his movement made her jump and stumble forwards, she instinctively reached for his shoulders to find balance and purchase.

“I got you kitten. Hold on tight.” He catches her easily, pulling her down on him easily, digging fingers into her flesh, guiding their movements together. “That’s right. Ride me, kitten.”

One of her hands rested on his shoulder blade, the other on his chest as she picked up the pace. She closed her eyes, throwing her head back, allowing him to control the movements of her hips while thrusting upwards. His eyes were focused solely on the way their bodies unite, making sure to his just the right spot inside her, to make her yearn, burn and shudder with need and pleasure. So fucking beautiful towering over him, lost in the tryst.

Just like him.

There was something erotic about the way she takes him inside to the halt, and then lets him out. Her body opening to him like a wild flower opens to the sun, allowing its warmth and love kisses to caress its petals.

That’s what she meant to him.

She was like a rose – beautiful but not helpless, with thorns.

Like a poppy – vibrant and standing out amongst other flowers on the meadow.

Like a cherry blossom – magical, soft to the touch but also so ephemeral and fragile if not looked after properly.

He was going to take care of her.

Forever.

“Jason…” she moaned, pressing his head into her chest, running fingers through his hair “Jason…” in the last surge of desire she grabbed his cheeks and looked straight into his eyes.

“Don’t ever stop Y/N—”

“Never-“ she gasped, not breaking eye contact for even a second, seeing the universe in his eyes. “Never-oh!”

As their climaxes approached and hit them like a tsunami wave, bringing the breath of freshness and coolness, but also threatening to wash them off the face of the earth, they held tightly to one another. Like she was his lifeline and he was her rock.

Just like in the biblical parable, that says you cannot build a house on the sand, Jason and Y/N were one’s another solid foundation. A base to build a house on.

For house is not a place, but a person.

Even when he fell back on the bed, exhausted and sweaty, facing the ceiling with mind reeling from love, pleasure and inexplicable need to lock her away from the world, his hold on her waist did not falter for a second. Only now, it was much more tender, softer, though still needy. The irony of the situation was truly textbook. She couldn’t be closer to him and yet, he was still missing her.

After a moment of heavy breathing she climbed off his lap (more like rolled off) and took the rightful spot on the side of the bed, which was hers by design. Even though they were both on their backs, their bodies found a way to one another as she reached for his hand entwining their fingers. Simple gesture, nothing really, and yet amongst lovers sharing true love, if that thing was to ever exist outside of novels, it meant everything.

After a moment, as on cue, they both rolled over to look into each other’s eyes.

“Hi.” She smiled cupping his cheek

“Hi yourself, kitten.” He responded by taking her wrist and kissing her knuckles softly.

“Did you know that statistically the round between couples lasts 3 minutes?”

“Way to ruin the mood with your nonsensical facts, Y/N!”

“it’s not nonsensical. I’m only saying that you are far more than stereotypical to me.”

“Because of how long I can last?” he raised an eyebrow incredulously, but it was quickly followed by a glint of amusement in his eyes. Despite everything he loved being praised on his performance skills.

“Because of everything-“ she whispered lovingly.

“Oh, stop now.” He grunted, pulling her to his chest, forcing her face down onto his skin so she wouldn’t notice the tears brimming in his eyes. “Otherwise I might think you love me or something.” A single tear escaped his eye at the feeling of being complete.

“I’d hate to implant false beliefs in your head.”

“That would be such a mess, right?”

“How about we keep on cleaning it together?” her soft voice reached his ears, serving as a counterpart for his feigned gruffness.

“Now that doesn’t sound so bad.” He smiled, pulling the covers on their entangled forms, allowing himself to fall asleep, knowing she was there to stay.

A comfort that made him feel warmer than under the blanket.

#jason todd x reader #red hood x reader #jason todd smut #red hood smut #jason todd x y/n #red hood x y/n #jason todd x you #red hood x you

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