#whats that post thats like “no i put this on tumblr specifically so nobody would fucking see it”

[carvinglittleholes]

pondering sobmuch rn cuz i think i could trail into infinite tangents abt music just on this little flame but music critics make no sense to me since I think you have to have a good amount of nutskin to do that shit because what if your OPINION is WRONG???????????? and people make FUN OF YOU FOR IT???????????? FOREVERRRR???????????????? I can't be the guy who wrote the first article calling zeppelins music half-stolen dick tunes and then watch as they blow up the entire world I think I'd kill myself no joke but maybe those critics not the rolling stone weirdos but the ones who write books upon books or like I dunno blog posts for ten fifteen years just because they want an excuse to talk about and delve into the history + meanings + magic + whatever of whichever music they've latched onto like wow you can be happy and make money doing it I didn't know you could do that except no nobody is happy nobody will be happy we will never experience music again BC WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WHEN GARTH DIES

[antimony-medusa]

heyy im thinking of joining ao3 with my works, but they’re not fanfics, they’re original writings. do you think it would still get accepted/viewed by folks? bc from what i see on tumblr it sounds like ao3 is mostly engaged with fanfic, i could be wrong but thats what it sounds like lol

Ohhh, original works on Ao3 my beloved.

Okay so there are two general baskets of Original Works, and one is "everything original people are putting on Ao3", and one is the one that people do in exchanges, where people sign up to write relationships like "Teen Who Is Turning Into A Werewolf & Her Sister" or "Retired General/His Arranged Marriage Spouse Who Was Formerly The Enemy General".

In my experience people broadly speaking do not really find the stuff in the first basket on Ao3. I'm in the tag right now and a lot of these works have very low hits. The stuff in the Second basket, which is things tagged interestingly enough that they catch people's eye, with a fun high concept— maybe? Some of these works clearly have a following!

Okay so there are 286,322 works in the Original Works tag, with something like over a hundred works posted a day, and there are not hundreds of people hovering in the tag looking for whatever gets posted, because honestly, like half of it is people posting vent fic. The spectrum of quality varies WILDLY, like it does in any big tag, and there is a lot of stuff that is people just starting out. Also a lot of it is people writing niche porn. Original Work is a very horny tag. So you have to find a way to rise into people's vision.

And this HAS been done— I'm subscribed to two people on Ao3 specifically because I loved their original works, I have an original work that's sitting at 200 kudos, there's an 86k novel I read in chapter updates last year that updated on fridays where I was like "ohhh it's friday it's jewel day" for ages and it's sitting at almost 2k kudos. I have read a published novel that started as an OW on Ao3, though I can't find the title now. But again, this is the stuff that rises to the top of the 286k fics in the tag, this is not everything. So how do you rise to the top and get seen?

My first advice is luring people over from another source. So if you already have a following from other fic, some people might follow you to original works? And then if it's GOOD, they'll stick around. This is the equivalent of "this romance author I liked is trying thrillers— I might try it?" So not everybody is gonna follow you, but some might. And if you already have people following your blog where you talk about your writing on Tumblr, you can say "check it out on Ao3", and people will head on over!

And then my second advice is that if you tag and do the summary interestingly, people might click when they see you. But you have like 2 seconds to catch people's attention, so how do you maximize that?

A) if do your relationship in an interesting way that tells people something, that helps. "Original Male Character/Original Male Character" just tells me it's M/M. "Supervillain Working As A Barista/Flirty Superhero With A Caffeine Addiction" tells me a LOT more. If you can cram your whole story concept into 100 words there, you can do a lot to hook people.

B) same as you do for any fic on Ao3— your summary and tags written in an interesting way. This is the equivalent of having interesting cover copy in a bookstore— why would people want to pick up your story? Certainly not if you say "this is kinda bad but please read it", they'll put it right back. But if you say "Alice is a woman on the run from the mafia with a dark secret— she's slowly turning into a vampire. Can she find a community, learn how to feed herself without endangering her soul, and maybe even find a girlfriend or two before her past catches up with her?" Well then people know what your story is about and are much more interested.

C) you don't want to become that person with a wall of tags nobody reads, but if you do tag the right tags so that you show up in OTHER tags people might be searching: if I find your fic when I'm looking for "asexual character" or "alternate universe - high school" or "meet-cute" or "fluff and angst" or "open/bittersweet ending", or alternately, a lot of really specific porn tags, and you've made your summary and relationship and tags interesting, I might click through.

And then my third advice is to do exchanges. A LOT of exchanges do include an Original Works component, and if you can write short stories, you can lure people into reading your work because you're writing "Lonely God & Baby Abandoned On Their Altar" or Lighthouse Keeper/Siren Trying To Wreck Ships" or something, because people DO click around exchanges reading the original works because they're fun and there aren't 286 of them, there are 12 of them in an exchange. If you like writing for a challenge, you can get people to read your work if you write it for an event.

So I'm not an expert in either original works or getting my work seen, I am not good at search engine optimization, but that is some stuff I have seen other people doing. Good luck!

[itspkuwu]

EEnE characters ranked (MY OPINION)

Let’s cut right to the chase, because I really wanna put this out there.

Lee Kanker is in last place. She gets lower than F tier. Where Marie and May had moments where they seemed to genuinely care about each other, Lee just sits there, manipulates, and spreads cruelty. And as for the times where Marie and May were fighting/being mean etc? Well, I have a theory. Remember in Big Picture Show where we see that Lee has a third eye? You know who else has a third eye for no good reason…?

DEMONS. LEE IS AN ACTUAL DEMONIC MENACE WHO BRAINWASHES HER SISTERS JUST TO MAKE OTHERS FEEL MISERABLE. AND EVEN THEN SHE MISTREATS HER “MINIONS” TOO.

And remember when Nazz kissed Double D and Eddy on the cheek? Compare that to how they react to the Kanker’s kisses. How big those lips are… that specific shade of red… the way the Ed boys become horrified every single time…

THE LIP STICK IS CREATED BY LEE AND HAS DARK MAGIC INSIDE OF IT. THATS MY THEORY. IM STICKING TO IT. SCREW YOU LEE.

(that was a joke lolol)

Everybody in the “lol why” tier it’s just an object that isn’t Plank or I haven’t seen those episodes yet. So I can’t really give my thoughts yet.

Rolf’s animals get their own tier. They have an amazing caretaker :3

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH DORK DORK DORK DORK ITS KEVIN DJDJUDUFHDBRJRIRID.

He’s just a jerk lol. AND NO I DO NOT SHIP HIM WITH ANYBODY. NOT NAZZ. NOT DOUBLE D. ESPECIALLY NOT DOUBLE D. NOBODY.

except his bike.

Eddy’s brother (whose name is apparently Tarry??) is also a jerk. But he makes a pretty cool antagonist. And he just makes me like Eddy even more.

also i feel like he would be a tumblr sexy man

Mildred blinks at you :D

Plank is an immortal God who will one day rule the world. This is my canon.

I REALLY wish we could have seen more of what happened to Jonny post Big Picture Show. Him being “The Gourd” and having a villain arc just sounds super fun. Other than that he’s just a weird kid. I like him.

Don’t let Jimmy fool y’all. He’s a lil maniac. He probably gets it from Sarah. And it’s always a shocker to me given how much he acts so innocent and harmless. He’s a pretty neat anti hero.

I KNOW I SHOULD HATE SARAH. But I feel like there’s more to her than meets the eye. I honestly think her parents taught her the hate her big brother. If they weren’t around, she probably wouldn’t been to mean to him. Making me feel extremely sympathetic for both of them. And at least she looks after Jimmy, giving her redeeming qualities.

To be honest this show needs a character like Nazz. Everything has to be balanced out with someone who isn’t constantly out to get something, being mean, or acting like a weirdo. But yes, she does have her moments, which are rightfully deserved. Plus, I just really like her chill and hippie way of going about.

Marie Kanker and May Kanker are being ranked together. The potential they have to be redeemed is through the roof. They deserve so much better. If Lee wasn’t around to mess with their heads, I think they would be truly happy. Marie could spend her days jamming out and living on the edge, while May is cute and ditzy and a voice of reason at times. Plus both of their hairstyles are really eye candy for me.

The Ed boys are also being ranked together. What else can I say that hasn’t been said already? The way these three bounce off of each other is extremely enjoyable and definitely gets good laughs out of me. I know they have their moments where they aren’t so friendly, but you don’t always have to get along with someone for you to still love them. And when the gentle giant goof, the soft hearted nerd, and the selfish man with a heart of gold do get along, it’s sweeter than jawbreakers :)

AND NOW WE HAVE ARRIVED AT THE TRUE GOD. THE LIGHT IN DARK TIMES. THE DIAMOND WITHIN THE DIRT. THE ONLY BOY ON THE SHOW WITH A GOOD HAIRCUT.

ROLF. THE SON OF A SHEPHERD.

Rolf is hands down one of if not the best side character in animation history. He’s a goober for one thing. But a goober that’s gets us to take him seriously. You do not mess with this man. His pride is enough to break you leg. And yet, he still manages to be one of the nicest characters in the show. He’s so friendly and upbeat! And when he isn’t… his dark side is also a fun time.

And another thing, he’s a fish out of water. Which also allows the viewer to feel sympathetic for him. Like in Wish You Were Ed. Seeing Rolf cry is something you’d never think you’d see, but when you do, it makes you feel a somber emotion you had no idea existed. It’s amazing.

yeah, Rolf is amazing.

Also I asked my sister if she wanted to dance to That’s My Horse at her wedding and she said no. What a loser right?

So uh, that’s my list. Hope you enjoyed.

Go hug a chicken.

[artcommunityvent]

heres my rant for today: (sorry in advance for long post)

i hate how modern art communities have to “fandom-ify” every single new trendy thing literally DAYS (and sometimes even hours) after it drops. i know this is a lot of the same sentiment as those people that just go “popular thing bad” but honestly it really puts me off some medias because i dont want to associate with anyone else who likes it

do we really need a million different fan ocs and aus for EVERYTHING? and like, i know its nothing new, obviously we have the onceler and undertale aus to look back on, but its exhausting at this point because while those communities were presumably genuine, in the present day it just feels like the fandom equivalent to an industry plant. and most people dont even stick with the thing they decide to make their entire personality!!

remember when spiderverse came out and everyone made spidersonas? who can you name thats actually drawn their spidersona more than once? it feels like everyone just trend hops, and yes i know thats how the internet is but its just exhausting especially when it brings down otherwise creative and inspired works

fnaf security breach: everyone makes fnaf aus and glamrock animatronics, then spiderverse as previously mentioned, then welcome home dropped and thats becoming a shitshow with how yall are fandomizing what is essentially a small creator telling their ocs lore in a creative way, and now its happening with digital circus. im so tired of seeing projects that are cool and visually appealing becoming a cesspit of bland, unoriginal aus and piles of fanart only to get dropped when the new shiny comes out

and i wanna elaborate on welcome home for a second because i know damn well if one of these people who makes “daddy dom priest wally is actually the devil” aus had an oc they loved, and someone came along and made their own aus of it in the same way, that person would bitch and cry oc theft. some people dont even change up the characters design, like how entitled do you have to be to essentially just steal someones oc and call it your own? it disgusts me how people are treating clown and honestly i wish they would put the series on indefinite hiatus or complete their story privately to teach these people a lesson

another thing that puts me off is how every piece of media has to have the “fandom daddy” for lack of a better term. glamrock freddy, hobie brown, wally darling, or jax, its all the same thing repackaged; someones gotta be the tumblr sexyman. its so tiring—ESPECIALLY as a lesbian who doesnt really wanna center men in my life at all—to wanna see fanart of the media you like and its only: “heres the one character everyones horny for drawn in a totally different and more sexualized body type” with everyone in the comments salivating over them. i really like digital circus! but all i see are people who would walk across a mile of broken glass just to suck a fart out of jax’ ass. what about the other interesting characters? why does EVERY conversation with popular media have to be about “which guy is the most fuckable” (guy specifically because come on, when has a female character been the highlight of attention; using the previous example have you seen ONE person talking about digital circus that even remembers zooble exists)

it feels like nobody can appreciate work anymore without having to claim some form of ownership over it, to say “hey this thing is so popular and important that it is now a part of my identity!! look at my millions of ocs that i will draw one time and never again!” im just tired of people being unable to passively interact with media they enjoy and everyone seeming to fight over and prove some connection to the things they like

tldr: im tired of everyone in the art community making heaps of fanart, aus, and fan ocs for stuff the second it gets popular and then totally forgetting about it the next time something else gets popular

(and before yall bring up hyperfixations: i am autistic; i understand having so much love for a piece of media for a short while and then dropping it for no reason and its heart shattering; BUT AT THE SAME TIME this pattern is on oxford to me and its on such a large scale that it infects the greater art community as a whole)

That is indeed the nature of media consumer at its finest. I do feel like it is more appearent now due to the way most social media algorithm works. They only show what is trending at the moment, so naturally, we are exposed only to this specific thing until another trend eventually takes over.

Even artists who never create fan content can be influenced to do so by looking at the other artists, be it to dive in along the hype for the popularity of it, for the geniune fun, for the sense of community, and many more reasons.

- ☁️

[trash-slvt]

Wow, this blew up. This was a silly post i made before i'd had my coffee or meds but its a sentiment i've been thinking about a lot recently. ive been reading through the notes and theres way too many to reply to. but they mostly fall into these categories: apollo dodgeball / if you knock on enough doors asking for the devil: I think thats actually a big part of why i made this. Youtube (or any corporation) will do everything it can to make more money. they would implement this in a second if it were both technologically feasible and socially acceptable (or at least, acceptable enough to not cause too much of a backlash). a decade ago, this concept met neither criteria. now its dangerously close to meeting both.

The web was built on a model where the website sends you content and a suggestion of how to render it - to give users the freedom to interact with it however they choose. Since then, there's been a battle between corporations and this principle as they use every trick they can come up with to force you to render the content the way they want you to.

The most effective way that corporations have achieved this is with apps. Paraphrasing Cory Doctorow[1], an app is just a website that its illegal to mess with. So many of the notes are people saying "i wish i could block youtube ads on my phone/smart tv/game console". this is a problem, and a bad sign of what to come.

another thing that makes this concept technologically feasible and socially acceptable in my opinion is face id. Having a camera scan your face automatically before letting you progress has become normal. Its common to put tape over your webcam, but nobody puts tape over their phone camera. Somehow, we've been trained to view it differently. more broadly, I dont think the web is meant to be profitable. The old internet was full of small forums run at a loss fueled by the passion of their creators. When corporations moved in down the road with enough money to drive the forums away and take over, those corporations still didnt turn a profit. and they havent for a decade. Now they're getting desperate and they're going to extract as much as they can from their users to try and recoup those costs. Your outrage over the concept of this is important. Visible backlash to hostile practices works. its important that we all say Fuck That loudly and often. Youtube is adding a five second delay for firefox users: I read about this immediately after making the original post. this is such a brazen move by google. I hope they get in some serious shit for leveraging one monopoly to bolster another but im not familiar enough with international law to know if thats likely.

Regardless, google has been showing their hand lately with so many hostile decisions. Their only leverage is their user base. Don't help them. Switch to firefox. if you need to, you can make firefox pretend to be chrome for specific websites Ads are getting worse / loud ads in asmr videos / pragerU and other evil ads: Ad blocking still works! please use an ad block! install ublock origin! Youtube is working hard break ad blockers but the ublock devs are working harder to keep them working. you just need to update the filter lists every now and then. here's a guide I still want to support creators: Find a way to support them directly! youtube is a notoriously unreliable income source. Check how the creator you want to support would prefer you support them. Chucking them a few bucks once will go a lot further than watching ads.

Piss kink references: Thank you tumblr for being tumblr. A lot of the replies have been pretty heavy so these silly responses have been surprisingly refreshing.

----

I highly recommend Cory doctorow's defcon talk about the state of the web and how we can fix it. it put words to things i'd been feeling for a long time and introduced me to new ways of thinking about some of this stuff. Its linked at the bottom.

Its been wild having this post break containment like this. Tumblr is my place for shouting into the void and im used to most of my original posts not getting much traction (which is fine, or maybe even the point). the concept of over thirty thousand people reading something i wrote is hard to even conceptualize. I wasn't at all prepared for this but its touching that so many people resonated with my anger and frustration.

Okay, i'm going to go outside and remind myself that there is still so much good in the world. Fighting corporations is important but don't forget to also marvel at a cool bug or something to balance it out [1] - DEF CON 31 - An Audacious Plan to Halt the Internet's Enshittification - Cory Doctorow [Invidious link] [yt]

[steelycunt]

ridi hi ! yr like one of my biggest writing inspirations and im going to try writing r/s so i wanted to ask for a bit of advice (if you don't mind!!) how did you first sort of insert yourself into the fandom? ive never really written hp before and kinda don't know where to start (without feeling like some sort of imposter lol) thought id get yr opinion hope you don't feel pressured to answer tho <3

hi hi !! ahh fhdsfjds thats so lovely thank you so much!! thank u for this q, ill put my thoughts under the cut hope thats okay mwah <33

i was writing on ao3 for a fair bit of time b4 i was made this blog on here to post about my writing (i dont know if most people went in that order?? maybe??) but once i was on here i just found authors whose stuff i enjoyed on ao3 and who had mentioned they had a tumblr. i found honestly just interacting with people + their work n stuff was the easiest way to make friends!! n just messaging those people even though it was a bit terrifying. at the same time, though, when talking about hp specifically i think u've gotta keep in mind that its a massive space and also largely a cesspit lol...for that reason ive had no desire to get too involved in most of it aside from circles of people i know n trust and i would say, especially on the topic of interacting with people: be extra careful when you're following people, and also screen ur followers as best you can for terf shit and projkr shit and all of that.

as for the writing side! its way, way less daunting if you're just writing what you want honestly. i wrote things because there was stuff i wanted to read, and now i do it because i enjoy writing! and i think having any other motivation for doing it except that will result in it becoming a bit of a draining and joyless activity pretty quickly. don't worry about canon (esp when the source material is as shite and lazy as hp canon is anyway), don't worry about adhering to popular headcanons if they don't interest you...the imposter thing is tricky but also very very common and probably nearly everyone doing something creative + sharing it will feel like that to some extent? and if everyone feels like an imposter sometimes then i'd argue that nobody can really, genuinely be one, so don't worry abt it too much (again, writing for yourself rather than any other motivation will probably help with that a bit). and have fun writing babe that is really at the end of the day all there is to it like if ur enjoying urself then whatever u write will b brilliant n worth ur time <33 good luck !!

[antiloreolympus]

11 Anti LO Asks

1. TBH to me im also confused reading LO bc it both takes itself way too seriously but also not at the same time? like it wants us to feel like its this grand dramatic epic that takes serious issues and all, only to be so full of slapstick and juvenile "humor" and hip "relatable" humor that its like?? well which one is it then??

2. Im glad im not the only one who noticed, at least in terms of their relationship to hades, persephone and minthe are exactly the same. the difference is minthe has everything to lose, has no support and she doenst "deserve" him, meanwhile persephone has everything, gets everything, and "deserves" hades because she coddles him and she conforms to him & his wants, which minthe never do. im not saying minthe doesnt have her issues, but her not doing exactly what he wanted lead to her demise.

3. i love the excuse of constantly making lo persephone naked is "being accurate to ancient art" because one thats not how ancient art was?? only aphrodite and maybe amphitrite were depicted without clothes, but even that most of that was a post-antiquity/roman trend to show they could do anatomy correctly, but more so persephone specifically (minus the bernini statue which wasnt in ancient times) was always clothed? like yall just make up whatever to excuse rachel being wrong no matter what, huh?

4. LO is hardly the only romance comic to have this issue but it def runs off he fact the readers knowing theyll get together in the end to excuse its actual lack of developing them as a couple. rachel basically made two characters who wouldnt even talk to each other under normal circumstances and is just running off them being well known instead of making their relationship actually make sense. if we didnt know they were a canon myth couple, would anyone buy theyre in love? Probably not.

5. i see an excuse that LO's characterization should be excused because "rachel is making them complex" and its like ... the greek gods?? need to be made complex?? what are you lot on to think rachel is "improving" on the gods, esp when theyre just made into one note assholes with her deciding if theyre "good" or not depending on if they kiss persephone and hades' ass or not.  thats not complexity??

6. rachel literally cannot help herself to overemphasize how child like persephone is while also doing the same to emphasize how old and weird hades is and then still acts shocked people think its a creepy relationship? like you cant constantly make a point hes an old man lusting after a barely legal young woman and then be up in arms that people get weirded out by it.

7. oh my god the trial IS going into december and maybe even longer. she literally stretched it over months when it could have been at most three weeks. i hate it here.

8. RS is really just throwing whatever she can at the wall at this point isn't she. Here, now Hades has titan powers for no reason! He can turn into a spider now! Persephone made elysium now and has to teach him torturing the dead is wrong! Meanwhile other plots are either rushed (Daphne, Minthe) or that should be wrapped up by now or even have a little focus on them is just ignored, dropped, or retconned in some weird way, Like girl, take a month off and plan this out on a google spreadsheet.

9. the funny part about how pissed rachel gets at being accused of "stealing from percy jackson" is ... she unintentionally does? like PJO popularized "persephone was a b-tier nobody before marrying hades", promoted demeter was irrational helicopter mom, and also (incorrectly) popularized titans being literal giants, all of which rachel put in LO. now she probably only picked these up from tumblr posts but those are from PJO, so in a roundabout way she did kind of steal from PJO, just unknowingly.

10. this is nitpicky but i hate the in universe and fandom "joke" kore is some corn joke bc one) corn is from mexico, but so wouldnt wheat or barley be more accurate? but two) kore is not pronounced "core", its pronounced "core-ey", so the joke doesnt work on both a food or a pronunciation front. like this is supposed to be so well researched and accurate yet it doesnt know how to pronounce the main characters name or knows what actual food grows in greece and was connected to demeter.

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

11. FP// Hades being a grown adult and not realizing torturing the dead for eternity especially the innocent is in fact a bad thing to do is not cute, it confirms hes a deranged psychopath and having some random 20 year old having to "teach" him that is even worse?? esp bc that same 20 year old doesnt care about the dead, she only cares about her own conscious. idk how rachel took complex beings and made them straight up evil but expects her to "sympathize" w/ them but here we are.

[cinearia]

The "Morally Grey" in ACOTAR

I decided to write something I have been thinking about since I saw some people saying this when pointing out the wrong attitude of some characters in ACOTAR (aka Rhysand and company), but I think this can apply in general. In another specific story, but I will focus on ACOTAR.

And please, if you disagree, that's fine. This is an opinion of mine that I decided to write and post, because I find it an interesting subject that does not necessarily apply only in ACOTAR, but that is in the saga and I have seen people commenting on it. I don't want to fight with anyone, okay? I put in the tags that fit in.

So...

I love morally gray characters, but just to make it clear right now, I don't think that EVERY story has to have ambiguous characters. It's okay if the story is to follow a line more heroes versus villains line. But one of the things I saw here on tumblr and twitter about the attitudes of IC, Rhysand and Feyre was using that same argument, that they are not perfect, that they have their flaws. I definitely agree with that.

But history itself does not recognize this (and some fans too). Because nobody seems to call their shit out.

Starting from a general view that can include all of the IC. Like, how not to worry about your image while protecting your city? Okay, i get it, we had to be the tHe BaD gUyS, but y'all will suffering the consequences for this, especially if its to protect your own city. Some other people are protecting their citys too. Doesn't mean that you are wrong, but everything has consequences.

Or, how they constantly abuse their power; how Rhysand threatening and using his powers even at a political meeting sound good? How Feyre ended up hurting someone during that same meeting, even if unintentionally, was just fine? No one will call their shit about using their powers? Do you really seek to make allies and friends in the middle of a war by showing abuse of power and threatening others (and not just feysand doing this)? Or saying that they should step over the others so that there is only one king and queen in Prythian (that was right for you, Amren).

And that is partly the fault of writing. Now, more specific:

They lie and steals a valuable artifact from a possible ally and political leader of an entire court? Ah, but it is for a greater good. It will not jeopardize the confidence of a HIGH LORD OF A COURT who was supposed to be his ally in the midst of a war.

Did Feyre decimate an court? Ah, but the leader was abusive to her, she felt trapped in the place that was rebuilding because of a curse of hundreds of years, even though there are innocent people. And, of course, you will have the consequences for this.

(this one more personal and less political) Elain, perhaps the least worst of all, neglected Feyre as much as Nesta did, and also do nothing when she went hunting? Ah, but Elain is Elain.

Did Rhysand hide information from Feyre's pregnancy that she and the baby could die in childbirth? Ah, but he didn't want to worry her, he was scared to lose her and her son. And the whole IC agreed not to tell her anything? Ah, they also care about her, the High Lady.

(And this is the worst and yes, I’ve seen someone say that) Rhysand did it all with Feyre UTM, drugged her, put her in a dress that didn’t cover anything, made her dance all night on his lap? But because he wanted to protect her, we need to hear both sides of the story.

And that's fine because they are the good guys in the story. But it is nothing more than pure hypocrisy, and no consequence falls on them. If it happens, it will be unfair, is just to move the plot.

Do you want us to believe in the heroes of history, do you want us to side with them? Great, we can do that. We could have liked Feyre and Rhysand and the whole IC more, as a group that doesn't always do the right things, except that would have to change literally EVERYTHING (a little bit of charisma would be good).

Instead, for me, it became an egocentric boring FoUnD FaMiLy group that only cares about their own city - and it's not necessarily wrong to be concerned only with Velaris, it's part of their history. But forcing an image on them that doesn't match their actions makes me believe the opposite, especially cause started in ACOSF, again from AMREN, about a King and Queen in Prythian.

So, I came to believe that it was a POV issue. For IC, they are the heroes of history, and think they are better than the rest.

It would be curious, in fact, if the whole point was that Feyre's POV would incapacitate us from seeing the flaws that she doesn't see. And totally proposital. That is why we have to see her as a saint, but at the same time so badass. Wow, no one, i repeat, NO ONE, suspect of me while i pretend to be innocent.

Or how we see her mate so perfect, to the point that history doesn't allow us to stop and think 'wait, this is kind of ...weird'. Or that, as much as there is an error there, but not leat the reader question the characters themselves. Rhysand, for Feyre, is perfect.

We have to see Rhysand as that altruistic, laid-back person who does everything for others, mostly because he did it for Feyre, and that can't be denied. He saved her, took her to her city, her family. What made me stop to think is how Feyre may be reproducing their behavior. How he seems to want her to be part of it so badly. I don't know how to put it into words, but that's more or less what I wrote in another rant I did.

Everything she does is justified by the other characters. At the same time that she, Rhysand and everyone in the IC have hypocritical and very wrong attitudes that history itself does not recognize. And, worst of that, the story seems glorify her POV.

Seriously, when she disobeys the instructions given to her (what she does the most) she has no one to say 'girl, please stop. Just STOP)

And with this said, i add:

We don't have to agree with everything that the characters and the protagonist do. We can love them and still disagree with them, because they are people, or fae, like any other, and there will always be something in them that we will disagree with. It makes them real. They can be heroes and still have their dark side.

The reasons may be as noble as possible, but that will not exclude the consequences, it will not exclude them from being wrong. They do not necessarily need to take a spur or a lesson in morals, but just do not miss out on what every action can bring, especially political leaders in the midst of a war.

Whenever the IC does something, it is for a "bigger" reason, but without giving us the chance to even question it. We don't see them paying for their words, without necessarily moving the plot of the story, in a story that focuses so much on the development of the characters themselves and putting the war in the background (or how should been). Without us being able to question the motivations of the good guys and always doubt the villains.

And this is where I’m going to focus on a more specific point; funny like any character who is "MoRaLlY GrAy" and who "have YOUR rEaSoNs" are men or with history of abuser. Thats funny, right? The new one now is Eris, who was part of Mor's trauma and one of Lucien's nasty brothers, that one who already attacked Lucien, the one who was going to kill Feyre. Who did all that to Mor.

But having Eris saying that she, the victim, didn't tell the whole truth, and the history is now showing that we will see his side...

It just makes me ask, how, in ALL the process of creating and writing these books, passing for her editors, in the books that she wants to pass the message of feminism so much, SJM didn't stop to think, or didn't have a friend to put their hand on your conscience, how wrong does it sound for the abuser to say that the victim is lying?

Why are the men in this saga constantly gaining the gift of doubt?

I can no longer see Rhysand as being morally gray precisely because of what SJM wants us to believe as he is and justifies his actions. What could have been in ACOTAR stopped being completely from ACOMAF, probably because SJM wanted that in her story, the girl would stay with the """villain"""

For from then on, every action of Rhysand is justified and without future consequences, since we are supposed to root for him. Now he is the protagonist's new love interest. So we don't blame him for what he does. So, everything is fine. He's not the bad guy.

And meanwhile, Tamlin comes down to being the bad, abusive guy and... That's it. And no, I don't think he's a good person, he doesn't have to have an arc of redemption, what he did with Feyre is still wrong. The difference now is that Tamlin is just that, those are his only attributes now, while Rhysand has attitudes as bad as, perhaps more, than he had. One is being extremely vilanized while the other is the hero of history, when they are only two sides of the same coin.

I can share this hatred as ALL characters feel for Tamlin, if I didn't see how everyone else did such bad things. Let's remember too, one has the job of torturing people, another has decimated an entire village. They really do what they want and... It's okay.

Doesn't work say that the story has a morally grey area with the characters if the consequences balance it does not lean towards the protagonists.

It costs me less to believe that they are what they are every time SJM reinforces in Feyre's POV how selfless Rhysand is and how much Feyre talks about how badass she is and the two of them such a powerful couple. Literally, I start to think the opposite.

(I did a second part of this rant, but I think it can get a little more personal cause focus in Nesta and Feyre that I decided to split it in two)

[sunhowler]

i know responding will only make this worse but i cant fucking stand when people just blatantly lie about me. you guys are Confused because you have none of the context and are making giant assumptions based off of like 1 anon and 1 tumblr post. so here:

A) i very much did not leave the internet, what are you guys even talking about??? ive been posting on main all day, i only decided to make my hlvrai account inactive. im literally right here. did nobody think to look at my main. did you all just assume i left the internet because i posted about making my sideblog inactive and literally said i would be posting on my main instead. What Are You Saying

B) i left One discord server because of this. One. because it was a public discord server and i have pretty severe paranoia issues currently. that other server that anon talked about and you guys all randomly decided to believe with no proof for some reason, i left days before the original post for personal reasons. it had literally nothing to do with you. i didnt leave every server im in, i didnt even leave every hlvrai server im in. i didnt leave the entire fucking internet over 1 post.

C) i had literally no reason to believe you would handle my concerns with any charitability or grace because you responded to my original comment so aggressively, and i have even less reason to believe you would now. i realized the comment i left was unwarranted, so i deleted it. i didnt think that this would cause you to lie about me in the main fandom tags. i guess if i had known that, i wouldve responded to you or something.

D) you never, never addressed that you straight up lied about me not tagging my nsfw art. literally all of it is censored, under a community label, tagged nsft, and not put under any of the main tags. you cant just fucking lie about that. thats a really serious accusation and i have no clue why you would make it if not out of deliberate malicious intent.

E) i wasnt upset because you "criticized" me (which. by the way. admitting to cyberstalking someone and lying about them publicly because they made one weird comment on one fanfic you wrote isnt criticism.), i was upset because you posted something inflammatory about me (everyone knew it was me. you did not have to say my name. dont try to hide behind that) in the main tags of a fandom that has historically loved to lie about me, harass me, drag my friends into their stupid petty complaints, and read everything i do uncharitably. i was upset because i knew people would take it at face value without a second thought and it would become a Thing, and look, it has! it sure has.

[edit: just realized i never addressed this part: i have literally never claimed to own transfem gordon freeman. you are just fully misrepresenting what i said. its not worth it to get into what i was trying to say with my original ao3 comment because i regret making it even aside from this whole debacle, but you know i never claimed to own transfem gordon. i said i dont own her like 5 billion times. i only ever claimed to "own" my specific fandomized design and interpretation of her, and even then i constantly acknowledged she was not technically my character.]

im not responding any more after this, and i dont want anyone to defend me after this either. to be honest i didnt want people to do it from the start because i knew that would just escalate it and make the lies and animosity grow and grow. my hope, and maybe its naive, is that people will read this and stop feeling the need to speculate wildly on things they dont know about while also not bothering to check if anything theyre saying is actually true.

is it embarrassing to write out a long response to this? yeah. is it a bad idea? yeah. but i dont have much to lose at this point and i cant stand that people are just saying random bullshit and believing the first anon that comes along with something to add. everyone shut up

WAIT OKAY RECAP FOR ME, SOMEONE WHO LITERALLY JUST GOT HERE: i saw you second post, peaked in to find the first, and was like 'huh, weird to ask someone to not use a name, you don't own it', then did a lil hunting of my own cause i Did Not know who you were talking about but i'm Nosy

and i saw the post that pup made and was like 'damn, sad they're not around anymore, but i got my own problems with the hlvrai fandom, have fun getting better ig' and i scrolled a bit on pup's blog and was like 'oh okay, you wanted a distinction between Your gordie, and other gordies, sure, you went about it weird but ig i understand. big ol miscommunication' and MOVED ON

and then. hours later. i'm scrolling. people are jumping down your throat ?? because APPARENTLY that big old giant long post was made Because of you being like 'that was fucking weird to ask me not to use a NAME' and ?? pup got SO FUCKING UPSET that they just LEFT THE INTERNET

i'm so confused. what the fuck.

THEY LEFT??? Anon, I'll be so honest, I made my posts as a one-off "hey isn't this kind of weird and funny" thing for my friends and the like 2 followers I have. I woke up today, sick as all hell, opened Tumblr and had hundreds of notifications from people either dming me like "Hey sorry you're being harassed" or sending me anon asks calling me insults for daring to have an opinion on Tumblr. I haven't checked pups account since I made the og post + have ignored most notifications I've gotten since I prefer to have discussions instead of being yelled at. I only knew that they left discord, not THE INTERNET. OVER ONE POST.

It only shocks me how chronically online someone has to be that a single post, where they went completely unnamed, got them so upset they had to LEAVE the INTERNET. And make a post that has made me be actually harassed by random people (most of whom that I can't block if I wanted to since they're sending anon asks) when my post was not harassment by any means and did not tell people to harass her.

Also since it WAS just a miscommunication she could've just... literally DMed me. "Hey Simon, saw your post, here's what I meant: [blah blah blah]" and I would've DELETED IT..???? They could've stopped this whole thing by replying to me on AO3 with an explanation instead of just deleting the original comment those months ago.

Anyways Thanks for being Just As Confused as this whole thing is making me. And for not calling me 6 bajillion slurs like most people in my asks see fit to do right now!

[mettywiththenotes]

I got tagged by @haleigh-sloth! 😊

Why did you choose your URL?

Metty is a part of my name and whenever I get into a new series, whatever it may be, I usually type down my thoughts in the notes app on my phone. I’ve done this for years and it was what I used before I got a tumblr account. I even still use it! Not to the same extent I did before, but I still do it to organize my thoughts

I only realized after I made this account that it kind of sounds like I’m bragging or smthg lmao. But thats not the case, no. I just type things down in my notes app a lot

Any side blogs?

Nope

How long have you been on tumblr?

Hoo boy this is kind of an unspecific question. Okay so I got an account 4 months ago. However, I’ve stalked tumblr since I was 11 or 12. So I didn’t have an account back then but I have been going on tumblr most of my life. Of course now that I look back on it, it isn’t the same thing as actually having a blog on here, cuz I never interacted with anybody or even any posts, but idk I’d say it still counts. Kind of? A little bit? Technically? Idk lol

Do you have a queue tag?

Nope

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

This is actually kind of funny. As I’ve just said, I’ve been stalking tumblr for a long time, and I’ve been a fan of BNHA ever since chapter 150 (cuz thats what the latest chapter was at the time I caught up), so naturally, I stalked the BNHA fandom out of curiosity to see what people thought of it. So I’ve seen a lot of varying opinions on the series

It was literally on the same day BNHA chapter 317 came out, and I decided to actually make an account because there were so many bad takes on that chapter that I just decided to make a blog and put down my own thoughts

I can’t even remember what those bad takes were lol (it was probably just fans complaining that the series is going downhill and jumping to conclusions just because of what happened in that specific chapter. as usual). But I was frustrated enough to sign up, thats for sure

ANOTHER REASON why I joined is because, throughout the years I’ve been stalking the BNHA fandom, not once did I see any posts about Izuku and Shigaraki and the potential of their relationship. I’m aware now that there were probably some hidden blogs I hadn’t come across that maybe did talk about them, but if there were, I didn’t see it in the main tags and thats what annoyed me

Hate to brag, but I was thinking about The Boys since all the way back with Overhaul. And going through the tags was so lacking sometimes when nobody was talking about them. So you can imagine my reaction when that MVA chapter where Shiggy said “What I wanted you to say was...” happened and the fandom went NUTS over it. I was really happy to see people finally talking about them. And then that kind of died down, and I wasn’t really seeing anybody speculating about their relationship. Even when War Arc came around, I thought people would talk about their interactions more (NOT in a negative “Izuku is gonna have to kill Shiggy” way, but in a positive way), but that didn’t happen until chapter 295

So yeah. Thats another reason why I joined, and it’s kinda connected to the first reason. I wanna talk about The Boys. I wanna fill the bnha tags with posts about these two. Be the change you wanna see in the fandom ig lol

Oh, and also talk about the stuff that interests me. Obviously. But the actual reasons for joining are just spite

Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

That sketch of Shiggy and Izuku is the only one we have of them being goofy, and I’ve always wanted Hori to do a sketch of them being silly. So its like nailing proof of their interactions to a front-and-center wall so everyone can see it

Why did you choose your header?

I couldn’t think of any other header to have. I wanted one that looked nice, so I picked the background for Nine and Shiggy’s flower island scene

What’s your post with the most notes?

The Shouto joke post with the record scratch freeze frame lol

How many mutuals do you have?

6 mutuals

How many followers do you have?

182 followers

How many people do you follow?

24 people

How often do you use tumblr each day?

Oof. Quite an embarrassing amount. I try to keep off it during leak nights though, so I skip one day out of the week, if I can resist lol

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Nope

How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Ahh. Well, if its posts about info that could potentially help somebody, I do reblog them after doing a bit of my own research. They could help people or they couldn’t but if there’s a chance that they could, and I agree with what it says, then I reblog

If its those posts that are like “you need to reblog this or else your dog will die” or smthg, then no I don’t like them and I scroll past them

Do you like tag games?

Yes!

Do you like ask games?

Yes!!

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Ahh... haleigh-sloth honestly. The reason I think that is cuz every time she reblogs one of my posts it always gets loads of notes lol

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

What is this, the bachelor? Who should I give my rose to🌹👀 lmao nah I don’t

Tagging: @frappyflop, @zinatina, @villainsandvictimsalliance, @lastsunlight

njksdnsfd sorry for that one long answer btw. I have a whole Origin Story apparently lmao

[literaryloser09]

so recently ive come up with an idea however stupid or impossible it may be, im quite happy with it. this is going to be my first post here on The Tumblr, and my main goal is to share my journey with fellow writers like myself !! So, without further ado, heres what ive come up with (constructive critisism is very much appreciated).

the story follows a young adult by the name of Rowan whos having trouble figuring out who they want to be in life, specifically if theyre a male or a female. born female, theyve never fit in with the others. they had always felt a strong desire to be someone else but could never put a finger on who exactly. struggling with gender dysphoria as well as the pressure of getting through each of the challenges presented to them causes them to flee their town. on this seemingly destinationless journey, they come across a girl who steals their heart and takes it with her. little do they know, that the feelings they shared for eachother would be a challenge they would cease to overcome.

OKAY SO I KNOW WHAT YOURE THINKING. "challenges????? tfym??"

basically in this,, world each person born has a certain number of challenges assigned to them. every year they get a challenge, but nobody knows exactly what the challenge is. for example: Rowan didnt know that being in the presence of a cat being run over was a challenge, a challenge they failed. each time they fail a challenge a year is taken away from their lifespan.

let me explain more clearly.

Dex (random name) is a 30 year old who has 79 years to live. every one of these 79 years, he'll be presented with a challenge. and hes failed 25 of them so far, so 25 years will be subtracted from his life span, meaning he will die at 55 if he doesnt fail any other challenges.

yeah. so thats that uuuuhhh, please do critisise me thanks haha ily stay safe <3

[honeytrappaz]

call out post for @ratsofftoya

TW: GROOMING/PEDOPHILIA AND SUICIDE MENTIONS

recently @i-am-a-fish got suicidal baited off tumblr for the most bullshitted accusation post I've seen so far.

apparently I-am-fish is a pedophile/ potential child groomer, as said by @ratsofftoya

All because he made a joke on twitter about moving to pornhub, and follows artists that draw lolicon/aged-up smut of fictional underaged characters.

but there are some major fallacies in @ratsofftoya 's accusations (as if it wasn't obvious enough).

moral appeal:

ratsofftoya's commentary on goldie's pornhub and sex toy posts were very moralistic despite the posts clearly being a joke.

Humor is subjective so it's okay if you didn't laugh at this post, but that isn't an excuse to take away its humor to demean someone by making hasty generalizations about his fanbase. We can't confirm his fanbase is mostly kids, but because this claim is based on a hasty generalization, it is an inappropriate appeal to emotion. Trying to imply that goldie willingly exposes kids to child porn, classic "but think of the kids!" argument.

• There is no data we have on I-am-fish 's audience age demographic.

• there is no proof that majority of the fanbase are minors. that's just a hasty generalization.

• I-am-a-fish does not claim to be a blog for kids, not including "18+" in your bio does not make you a blog for kids.

I can't believe i have to point this shit out, but tumblr and twitter are not for kids. Nobody on these two platforms should have to put "18+" in their bios because nobody below that should even be on these two platforms. I-am-a-fish is an adult making adult jokes on an adult platform, to imply he could be a child groomer because he makes sex jokes that minors see is unfair because thats beyond his control. Tumblr and Twitter are adult spaces and yet we are not responsible for kids being in a space where they don't belong, that responsibility goes to the parents. All we can do about minors in online adult spaces is REPORT them.

2. cherry picking:

ratsofftoya specifically picked TWO sexually suggestive artworks by japanese Twitter artist Krskii. problem is ratsofftoya uses these two posts to portay this artist as a highly lewd/fetish account, when that isn't the case. In actuality, krskii's twitter page is a fanart page for a duo from IDOL MASTER: cinderella girls starlight stage anzu fubata(the blonde loli) and kirari moroboshi. it's a fanart page for other IMCGSS characters as well. i use to play game, its alot of fun but its japanese exclusive so i couldn't play much due to language barriers. the fanart page is almost all SFW, but ratsofftoya pick TWO out of dozens of sfw pics to solidify her claim.

you can go on Krskii's twitter and see for yourself:

and my personal favorite:

(ooh lawd this is cute i might have it as a PFP with credit!)

anyway, ratsofftoya ignored these possibilities:

• There is no proof goldie liked the two photos, or any engagement at all.

• there is no proof that he had seen it, especially out of dozens sfw art.

• just because he follows this artist does not automatically confim he has a sexual attraction for lolis or kids. especially due to how the page is mostly sfw.

• goldie could just be a fan of IMCGSS.

this isn't a creepy pedo twitter page, just an idol fan page. but what really is illogical is the commentary ratsofftoya has in regards to loli drawings. Now with using two pics racy pics, ratsofftoya came to the conclusion that Goldie is sexually attracted to children. But lolicon isn't real children, it's not real CP and it's not even a realistic depiction of humans children, so what rataofftoya did was simply pass off her opinion of lolis as fact. I'm not trying to debate on whether lolicon is okay or not and im not gonna share my opinion, because the real point isn't the subject of lolicon but the wrongful accusation. the real fact is that lolicon is still legal, but social opinion of lolicon is very mixed, our opinions on such a complicated subject is not enough to convict someone as a pedophile. you're opinions do not hold that kind of power, especially without sufficient evidence. let's actually move on to ratsofftoya's evidenced and how insufficient it is.

3. False attribution of discord chats

the screenshots provided from the discord chats do not add up to ratsofftoya's claims, making the screencaps irrelevant more than anything.

she provided this screenshot of a mod stating their opinion on aged up fanart, and claims that this opinions makes ALL MODS in that discord MAPS and Pedo apologists. problem is that there is no real sympathy for any pedo/maps in both ratsofftoya and nestbian's screenshots. if anything, it's just some bad jokes, and Goldie doesn't even say one himself.

rattsofftoya commits the same fallacy like with the loli argument; the concept of aged up characters is complicated subject, its not illegal but there is alot of debate surrounding it. Ratsofftoya makes her opinion clear that aged up artwork of characters is wrong. she uses small and insufficient screenshots to to help make her OPINION seem like a fact, and accuse the mods of being MAP sympathizers. she's convicted these mods based on a biased opinion, the concept of aged up characters is not legally pedophilic so whether you think the subject is right or wrong, is still not enough to convinct others with opposing opinions as MAP enablers.

Another issue is how she claims minors are talking inappropriately with adults on discord, but there are no such screenshots, the screenshots provided give no evidence of such accusation. With her convictions based on biased opinions, that accusations is not going to be getting any credibility anytime soon. Many of us know how discord works, it's not unusual for adults and minors to be in the same server, it's not a pedophilic thing. But one thing that discord mods do is have NSFW chats specifically for adults, while minors are exluded and stay in the SFW chats. ratsofftoya has no screenshots on minors in a nsfw chat, you'd figure that nestbian would take screenshots of that if it was actually true.

Lastly, ratsofftoya uses these discord screenshots to further solidfy her statement that I-am-a-fish is exposing sexual content to children. But you don't see goldie or any inappropriate/sexual content in the screenshots, just problematic opinions at best.

4. Bad intentions:

from what i've said in this post above, I can conclude ratsofftoya's post overrall was very manipulative and biased. I think the most manipulative part of the post was the last paragraph:

Using the idea of child exploitation and sexual abuse to pull on people's emotions, a huge inappropriate call for emotion. yet, ratsofftoya has not proven or shown any child exploitation or pedophilia at all. we have yet to see any evidence of abuse! How can I believe ratsofftoya has good intentions when I can easily break the accusations apart and see lies?

As a real victim of child grooming, i won't speak for all victims, but as a victim I really don't like my trauma being used to witch hunt innocent people. My trauma is not for woke points, it's not a badge and it's not for your ego to exploit. It's pretty clear that ratsofftoya did NOT make this post for the well being of children and grooming victims, but the post was made for her moralistic ego. If anything, to use sexual child abuse to lie about others, is exploitive.

5. consequenses:

I commented on ratsofftoya's post, mentioning that there are serious consequences to false accusations. Of course the response was immature af so not sure if she'll ever learn, but I'll say it for those who'll hopefully listen to my advice.

Call out post with false accusations can destroy lives, and put you, the poster, in serious legal trouble.

Slander and defamation on its own can get you a lawsuit, you never know who on this platform has money for a lawyer. If this person you publicly slander is to self harm, commit suicide, or lose their job, you can be legally held accountable for it even if it wasn't what you intended to happen, disclaimers cat save you from that. Just because ratofftoya says the suicide baiting is wrong, doesn't mean that she isn't legally responsible for it, I-am-a-fish can legally use it against her. Even with the legal consequences, lying in its own has social consequences and it will be brought to light.

Remember this, you broke ass college students, no amount of woke points is worth the lawsuit. If you GENUINELY see a real predator, report it!

[mollydollyjournals]

Its Thursday 1st July and I hit post limit so all I can do is update this post

I just want to drink til i pass out

9:46pm - oh when did i post this? Doesnt matter i guess. It really annoys me that the daily post limit applies to all blogs you have. I have 2 and i follow a lot of NSF- stuff so i have so much in my queue for my other blog, and i tend to post more immediately for that so i dont end up with a massive backlog, but thaats when i hit the limit. Whatever it is. I basically just wish i could set the queue to post more often when i have more there. Just post every 15mins or whatever and it'd go through quicker without me having to do it myself

Idk it doesnt matter i guess. Im still just venting all my bullshit here that i cant put anywhere else. But now is when i need it. I want interaction and company but i dont want to bother anyone and I dont know what to do with it. I dont have it in me to try to be a person right now. Tumblr is for messy. At least thats how i do.

But once you hit post limit it apparently doesnt even let you delete stuff to post anything else. I havent been here in years really so i totally forgot. Plus it could have been different anyway. Idk. Guess i will just drink until i disintegrate or something

10:20pm - it just makes me feel worse. I know theres a reason for post limit and its not the end of the world. Just it doesnt reset til 5am and I'll be asleep by then which means for the rest of today i cant actually say anything, and that kinda fucks with my derealisation/depersonalisation/whatever it is. I need acknowledgement to feel real. I need people to remind me that i exist. Even just a little. Its stupid and insecure but i do. Everything is worse since covid and being stuck in a house with someone who barely acknowledges my existence. I feel like a ghost. I feel netter at least a little temporarily if someone just sees and acknowledges me. And currently i can't do anything about that. Nobody is going to go to my page(s) and see whats up, its not that kind of thing. Even if it was they still wouldnt. I put on my other social media fucking ages ago that i was really struggling, then i disappeared, and it took days for it to get noticed at all. Then only 3 people acknowledged it. People have their own lives and there are algorithms etc so i cant be angry at them, but the end result is i still feel really alone.

I often feel like i want to just talk to people. Only a select few. Its not that i necessarily need to talk about "deep" stuff, but i need to know that i could if i needed to. Or if we just both happened to be in that mood at the same time. Like how i dont wanna talk about something totally innocent and generic with someone who turns out to be racist or whatever.

I dont know. Maybe i do need to talk some shit through right now. Doesnt matter either way. Ill most likely just be back to this post later to say more about how i dont really feel like being alive.

10:39pm - I hate that im like this. I dont know if its reasonable or not. I used to be someone who wantes so much space. I still dont feel like i want to always be around people. I must have some individuality somewhere. But i cant find it. Since the pandemic hit especially, it just highlighted everything ive been missing and trying to supplement. I need things to change. But i dont have a hope of doing so while i feel like this. Im so lost. Ive spent my life trying to be confident in myself and ive run my reserves dry. I so rarely get any help topping up. I fucking hate the whole Strong Black Woman trope. Im tired. Ive carried my family since I was 13 and romantic partners have expected me to carry them too. I need to be held and comforted. I need support. If nothing else i need to just be acknowledged. I dont feel like a person. Im invisible and inaudible so much of the time and apparently that only changes when someone wants to see or hear me. When do i get to be a person in my own right? When does someone actually see or hear me for who i am and care about my existence regardless of what it does for them

10:54pm - its the worst of my mental health, tbh, that i dont feel like its worth trying anything if its not going to be acknowledged and welcomed by anyone else. Existing included. I feel my worst and most suicidal when i cant have anyone remember that i exist. Because maybe i dont. Maybe people dont miss me or think of me unless theyre reminded for some specific reason. And i say these things because i want to be proved wrong but why would anyone.

I want to cut. I hate this stupid post limit. I could have at least distracted myself by reblogging stuff for a bit. Im still spiralling. I need a distraction and there isnt one and there wont be one and if i even get through tonight itll just be another reminder that in the end im alone

11:24pm - something feels particularly cruel about not being able to post here, even if i delete stuff. Its just an app sure but its the closest thing i have to therapy. I came back here specifically because i was struggling posting on my regular social media and having people not pay any attention. I thought id make a fresh anonymous account where i could vent and my shitty brain couldnt take it personally if nobody acknowledged it. Now i just have all that shit going round my head and nowhere to put it. Im right back where i started. Nobody will read this. If they do they wont care. If by some chance they did they'll be put off by me being so negative.

"One day someone will hug you so tight all tour broken pieces will fit back together" yeah sure. Whatever.

[wildshadowtamer]

A Different Path (What If?) Ch 5

Summary: Perry came back from a non-heinz-related mission, covered in soot and quite out of breath, he expected to just spend a few hours doing paperwork, but when he logged into his profile, he saw something sickening.

Here is the story of why Perry hates OWCA.

Tags (Chapter Specific): Violence, Attempted Murder, Attempted Child Murder, Blood

Tags (Fic General): Ducky Momo - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Character Death, car crash, burn scars, burn victim, Fluff and Angst, warning: this fic is dark, especially the first chapter, Inspired by Fanfiction, Based on a Tumblr Post, AU, what if au, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Mentions of car crashes, Past Child Abuse, mentions of child abuse, mentions of child abandonment, Family Fluff, Fluff, Violence, Attempted Murder, Attempted Child Murder, Blood

Notes: Credit to @woulddieforperrytheplatypus for encouraging me to write this fic! TW for violence, attempted murder, attempted child murder, and blood

Rating: Mature

Read It On Ao3

or

Read It Here!

~~~~

July 18th, 2006

Perry came back from a non-heinz-related mission, covered in soot and quite out of breath, his entire body aching from the fight against 4 goons at once. He stumbled into his lair below D.E.I and collapsed tiredly onto his chair in front of his giant movie-like monitor, he sighed with a chittering noise and pulled the chair closer to the keyboard.

Then he remembered that he would likely need to do paperwork for arresting the villain he was up against, and likely file a mission report and summarize everything that happened. He laid his head on the desk and silently wished for something to happen so he could avoid it, but he knew there was no escaping endless paperwork, and so he turned on his monitor and clicked into his agent file.

Just as he was about to make a new mission report, he spotted something unusual on his file, a hazard sign flickering on his boys’ family file. Thats strange, did something happen while he was at work?

He puts his phone back on noise, as its usually on silent when he’s on missions, and checks his texts. No recent texts from Heinz.

He clicked into Phineas and Ferb’s file warily, the boys, as of last year, had started making amazing inventions and fun creations near daily in the summer and winter, and working on simple projects in the school months. Recently they had been making some admittedly extreme projects, including 3d printing monkeys and teaching them how to ride a unicycle, Perry still isn’t too sure how they cleaned it up before Charlene, Heinz’ ex-wife, saw it.

However, what Perry saw in the files made his fur stand on end; Each of their inventions had been logged and dated, each with a threat level, ranging from safe green to deadly red.

Threat Level? Their not even double digits, how could they be a threat to anyone except the laws of reality!?

Perry quickly scrolled to the most recent addition, today’s creation, which was apparently an ice cream machine gone wrong, and a few wrong wires turned it into a death ray. Perry nervously glanced to the glaring red threat level on screen, he checked the notes to make sure nobody got hurt.

Notes:

Death Ray was set off and hit a tree close to the house, but no person or animal was harmed. However, I still believe these boys to be a threat, no matter their age. Villains only make more villains.

Perry chittered angrily to himself at the notes, his hands shaking as he checked who had been logging the inventions; an older agent Perry was close to, Dennis The Rabbit. He had actually been Perry’s mentor back when he was a pup. 

But, if he was so close to perry, why would he call Phineas and Ferb ‘threats’ and ‘villains’? Their just kids who made a harmless mistake!

He shook his head and took a breath, death rays are no harmless mistake, no matter the result. He’ll have to have a serious talk with the whole family about wiring safety and double checking their work.

As he mentally rehearsed his lecture, he spotted a note added to the main file of the boys, and his thoughts screeched to a terrified halt.

Set to be ‘silenced’ at 5:00pm sharp, on D.E.I balcony by Agent Dennis The Rabbit

‘Silenced’? That can’t be good. Perry’s heart raced as he checked the time; 4:58. He still had time. He didn’t bother shutting down his monitor as he ran from his lair and grabbed his jetpack, making a beeline for the balcony before Dennis could get there.

He saw the boys building on balcony, unharmed and safe, and perry nearly relaxed, but he noticed a red-band fedora peeking over the lip of the open roof, and time slowed significantly.

Perry had to choose an option fast, either tackle Dennis and risk hitting the boys, or grab the boys and risking getting hit with it himself. He made up his mind, and silently begged Heinz to forgive him. 

A bright laserbeam of light shot down from the roof, aiming right at the boys, but Perry swooped down and grabbed a sheet of metal, throwing himself infront of Phineas and Ferb to deflect the laser, which bounced back and narrowly missed Dennis’ hat.

“Perry?” Phineas asked, but Perry was too focused, he grabbed the two by the wrist and shoved them inside as Dennis parachuted down from the roof and glared at Perry.

Neither needed to talk in animal tounge to know the other’s intent, both wanted to harm, but wanted to harm very, very different people.

Dennis gave a cocky smile and took his parachute off, letting it fall to the balcony floor as the two agents sized eachother up, standing only 6 feet apart.

The distance was shortly broken as Dennis tackled Perry to the floor, punching him hard across the face as the platypus grabbed him by the neck and flipped them both over so Perry was pinning Dennis. 

It became a raging battle of tooth and claw, blood splattering on their furs as they wrestled on the ground, and Perry nearly caught Dennis with his ankle barbs, but restrained himself enough to throw the smaller agent across the balcony and through the glass windows seperating the balcony from the apartment.

Glass shattered everywhere, catching Perry in the arm as the entire window crumbled to the ground in shards, but Perry didn’t care. He was struggling to stay steady, he knew if he let go of his restraint that he would kill the admittedly weaker agent. His venom could kill a lot of animals, but he knews his family would miss him if he was sent to jail, or worse, the pound.

Still, he ran across the shattered glass, ignoring the pain in his webbed feet, and grabbed Dennis by the front of the scruff, punching him square in the face mid-action jump. Dennis went limp, knocked out cold from the punch.

“Perry the Platypus, what’s going on in here-” Heinz stopped in his tracks as he looked between the two bloody agents, one unconscious and the other wielding a near-murderous glare, and the shattered window behind them. 

Perry simply held up his clawed paws and signed “O-W-C-A”

Heinz pulled a notepad from his labcoat pocket and handed it to Perry “what did OWCA do? And why is an agent on my floor? The boys said you pushed them inside without a hello.” The scientist explained, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously

It took a few minutes, but Perry eventually shoved a series of notes into Heinz’s hands, and walked over to his jetpack on the balcony, which he had abandoned as he grabbed the metal sheet.

OWCA planned to ‘silence’ the boys with some sort of laser, they didn’t tell me. Dennis was the one to shoot them, but i got in the way and deflected it just in time. The -inator is on the roof. I’ll explain the rest later, right now i have someone to talk to.

“Someone to talk to? But perry, your inju-” Heinz stopped as he watched Perry fly away anyway, apparently uncaring of his injuries. Heinz was mad, thats for sure, but not just mad at OWCA. He was mad at, and quite disappointed in, himself.

If he had just kept an eye on the boys or brought them inside when he went to check on Candace & Vanessa, Perry wouldn’t have gotten hurt, and Perry wouldn’t be so mad. 

Perry came to a stop at OWCA HQ’s entrance, and, despite the searing pain in his feet and body, he couldn’t care less. He was infuriated, shaking with such anger he almost saw red. When he finds Monogram, he’s gonna give that monobrowed cheapskate liar a piece of his mind.

The automatic sliding doors of HQ opened as Perry was scanned by the facial recognition software, he stormed inside with a walk that Heinz once described as a “murder walk”, meaning with each minute Perry considers his option, jail seems increasingly preferred.

The other agents knew that walk, and all kept their distance from the top agent as he stormed past all of them, headed straight for the Major’s office.

“He’s definitely qutting today” Monty, the Major’s son, whispered to a human agent from canada, Lyla, Perry was sure her name was. Lyla glanced at Perry, then back to Monty, and nodded.

Like the controlled, trained agent Perry is, he kept his composure enough to only kick the door to monogram’s office off the hinges, and not throw it at him like he really wanted to. Carl recognised that enraged look in his eyes, and quickly left the room.

“Ah. Agent P. What’re you doing here?” Monogram asked warily, knowing full well, but trying to stall some time. All he got in response was an angry chitter, monogram sighed “I didn’t want to do it either, but when it comes down to the safety of the agency, we can’t have a pair of villains running around with a death ray!”

The word ‘villain’ echoed in perry’s head, his agent mind getting drowned out by pure anger as everything went red and Perry activated the chitter-to-speech translator built into his collar.

Monogram paled as he realised what he had just done.

And Perry snapped. 

Half an hour later,

Perry had left the door open, so everyone in view of the office, which would be half the agency as all of them wanted to hear this, could see and hear perry’s furious rant.

They collectively gasped as he grabbed his fedora and threw it down on the floor angrily “I’ve had enough of this agency, and i’ve had enough of YOU” Perry yelled “I QUIT.”

Monogram, pale in the face and speechless, spluttered “you- you can’t do that!”, Perry slammed a fist on the flipped office desk “well i just did.” he snarled, then turned on his heel and stormed out of the office, the agents parting like curtains to let Perry past without him hitting someone.

There was a dead silence as everyone watched their ex-best agent leave HQ for good, eventually, Monty spoke up

“Y’know,” he looks over to his father “you kinda had it coming.” he commented calmly,  hands in his hoodie pockets. He shrunk into his hood as his father glared at him, who then took a breath and flipped his table to the right way up

“Carl, get to work on Agent P’s termination paperwork. I don’t think we’re getting him back.” Monogram told the 16-year-old unpaid intern, who peeked his head through the doorway “a-alright sir, i’ll get right to it”

Heinz knew something was wrong from the moment Perry stepped foot back in the apartment, still bleeding and scratched up. 

“Perry? What did you do?” he asked his pet nervously, Perry gave a momentary glare before taking a breath and relaxing a bit, he turned off his translator in his collar and wrote something on the spare notepad he keeps next to the couch, sitting down

I quit.

Heinz spluttered “wh- you what?”, he couldn’t believe it! Perry The Platypus, his nemesis since the day perry could fight, quit his job at OWCA?

Perry tapped the same note in reiteration, then added another sentence

I quit.

Monogram tried to hurt my brothers, and i just can’t tolerate that. I was going to leave next summer anyway, he doesn’t even treat his agents with basic respect.

“Well- yeah i get that, i’d quit too if my boss tried to, y’know, kill my children and all” Heinz had calmed down from his internal rage at both OWCA and himself from almost an hour earlier, “but what are you going to do now? Being an agent was Your Thing, and who’s going to be my nemesis?” He asked, and Perry had no answer, except a helpless shrug

I’ll think about it. I need more time with the kids and you anyway, it’ll be good not to have work for a few weeks.

“Great idea! Maybe you can help out with their inventions! Oh and I know Phineas has been wanting to show you his and Ferb’s creations. Their getting very talented!” he gasped “Maybe take them to that Googleplex Mall and take them shopping, you need a new collar anyways” He suggested, and Perry thought about it for a minute, then smiled a bit and nodded

“Brilliant!” he pulls a blank calender from behind the couch, how did perry not spot that? “Here, i’ve been working on an Inator that works similarly to a time machine, it runs mostly on calendars so i went out when you were working and bought a bunch of them, i hope you don’t mind.” Heinz rambled, Perry smiled and took the calender, using his pen to plan some events him and the kids could do, he was really looking forward to this.

Leaving OWCA was the best thing Perry ever could’ve done.

[littlebabycrybtch]

Wait what do; SU crits have to do with to do with anti antis complaining about antis? I'm a little confused

oh yeah no i feel you, honestly its a confusing topic bc theres actually this divide in what 'anti antis’ consider ‘anti’ to mean now. the definition has kind of gotten loose over the years. most people still just consider ‘anti’ to mean what it was originally widely understood to cover, aka people who are against fictional depictions of pedophilia thats meant to be obviously positive/encouraging and to validate pedo fantasies. but other 'anti anti’s have been using the term ‘anti’ to mean people who are against certain medias or ships for other reasons, and thats really subjective so. when anti antis are out here talking about antis, (how many ti mes can i use that word), their definition of anti can range from people who are against pedophilia, to people who are critiquing Other problematic themes in media like homophobia/racism/etc., or . . . yeah, sometimes they do try to lump in specifically the people who are just nitpicking and cancelling unimportant stuff for selfish cringe shit, which i do think is a problem too. like, it definitely skeeves me out the way So many ppl seem to make up shit and grasp at straws just to obviously get to have an outlet for their personal preferences/bigotries and basically manipulate others with fake moral shit to get to say things like 14 yr olds who like su are cringey. theres always a ‘line’ or whatever, but ngl i Hate the way anti antis have made this so confusing, cuz it really just feels like a tactic, ma.ps are backtracking to make it seem like the ‘anti anti’ cause is more rational/less Batshit Evil of a thing to be, so they can keep getting away with harming others by simply changing the definition of anti to make them look better.

sO tldr;;; the reason i mentioned that stuff in the post was to clarify that, while i know some people out here use the term ‘anti anti’ for themselves to also mean ‘i dont like how cringe culture and purity culture have become so fake and selfish’ or whatever, i can see that part! but pedos can always get fucked. really i said it mostly to ensure nobody could be a dumb asshole and derail the obvious point of the post with the classic tumblr reading comprehension trick where you put words in peoples mouths yknow, aka something like ‘oh im sorry i have a problem with kids telling me what cartoons i can or cant watch’. giving them no space to backtrack lol. (but yea honestly the label just needs die, i dont rly trust anyone who would call themselves anti anti and willingly associate with that community just bc they have enough decency and common sense to recognize whenever purity culture happens to go too far or w/e??? like. goddd) sorry this response is so long btw it just rly has become so confusing lol, but tldr i made the distinction between things like ‘su crit’ and ‘against pedos’ because anti antis have been purposely trying to confuse the two mindsets to warp arguments to benefit their side.

[freckliedan]

I'm sorry, I really disagree with you. I don't think anyone HAS to accept critisicm unless that person is like, their teacher. Anons and others of tumblr are not that. She wrote something that was very deep and very personal, tagged it as such, and posted in on the internet. All things that are allowed. Logging off when you don't want to see hate is totally reasonable- if someone was screaming in your face, walking away is a good response. I don't understand the way people reacted to this.

I guess, she just doesn't have to aplogise because people are telling her to. It was all her choice-posting it, taking it down, etc. It might be sad or make people angry if she doesn't react the way they'd like, but thats part of being on the internet. It goes both ways here. I'm really not trying to come at people all up in arms- I understand there is upset. But that is part of being a bloody human, let alone on the internet. For something like a fic? We don't get to tell her what to do.

I'm like specifically not anon here cos I really don't want to argue or seem hostile. Discussion is good, I'm not here to hate on you or anyone. I hope it didn't come across that way.

hi b! thank you so much for your messages, especially the last one clarifying tone! you weren’t coming across as hostile, especially because of being off anon, but i always tend to doubt myself when reading tone so it meant a lot to have a clear confirmation that i was reading things right 💛 and also thank you because i’m really glad for the chance to have a discussion with someone who has a different point of view from me; i always worry a lot about what will happen if i only talk with/listen to people who think similarly to me and it means the world to me when people who disagree with my thoughts are comfy having conversations with me.

i’m worried that i haven’t been entirely clear expressing my point of view, and that that’s a part of what you don’t agree with? because i agree with a lot of what you’ve said, and that makes me think the disagreement might be because i’m not communicating clearly? (my apologies if this gets quite long, my instinct is always to over-explain things & it comes not from a place of condescension but from a desire to make as much sense as possible)

tl;dr for the contents below the cut:

overall the message that i’m trying to send is not that sarah should apologize/change her behavior or that her leaving tumblr due to the hateful messages she was receiving at the same time as legitimate criticism was wrong. the message i’m trying to send is that due to her pattern of behavior, i don't think she’s willing to hold herself accountable for her actions, and that because of that/because the only person anyone can control is themself it’s up to us as a community to decide whether we’re okay with sarah’s actions and are going to support her by not acting on anything, or if we’re not okay with her actions and if we’re not, what actions we’re going to take about this situation. (this was going to be my final paragraph but i put it here instead).

i’m going to number these just to try to add a little organization in my responses to everything?

1) you’re right that nobody has to accept criticism from anyone; the only person anyone can control is themself, and i would never push the idea that the best resolution to a conflict situation is changing someone else's behavior/the only way to resolve something is for someone else’s behavior to change. what i am saying is that in society, it is generally accepted that an appropriate response to being told that something you did/said was in the wrong is evaluating whether what you did or said was hurtful, and if it was going on to apologize and change your behavior as best you're able in the future.(the reason i included evaluating whether what you did or said was hurtful is because sometimes abusers tell their victims that they are bad or in the wrong for setting and enforcing healthy boundaries, which isn’t a bad or wrong thing at all, and even though that’s not the topic of this post i don’t want to put the message into the world that literally 100% of the time people must apologize and change their behavior when told they’ve hurt someone. evaluation of the situation is important).and there is no literal law or rule that says you have to apologize and modify your behavior when someone tells you you've done something hurtful and their criticism/call in is an accurate assessment of the situatoin, but in general? refusing to apologize and change when it’s true that you’ve hurt someone is the asshole thing to do.and even though there’s no rule saying someone has to apologize, it's very socially accepted that if you say "hey, this thing you did hurt me/someone i care about and i don't know if you realized, so i'm telling you with the assumption that you don't want to hurt other people again in the future" and the other person says "there's no rule saying i have to accept criticism or apologize to anyone"? that person is kind of an asshole and you can choose not to spend time around them or interact with them in the future.

so like, nobody has to accept criticism from others but refusing to accept any criticism whatsoever often means people probably won’t want to spend time around you because you clearly don’t care about others’ feelings?

i'm not saying sarah has to accept criticism or apologise, i'm saying that if sarah continually shows a disregard for other people's wellbeing by refusing to accept criticism, it's reasonable for people to choose not to interact with her anymore. 

i’ve been blocked by her and her friends since (i believe) january, when i was sending supportive asks to a minor who was recieving violent anon hate for making room on his blog for other minors who were uncomfortable with the teenagers fanfic; i have the people who blocked me blocked in return, because before now i was choosing to deal with this by following my own advice and refusing to interact with individuals who have behaved hurtfully and refused to change but at this point in time feel it necessary to speak out for the reasons i listed in my long reply on a post about the current discourse (link for context, though i think that post may be why i got these asks?)

2) also, i agree with you that disengaging when you’re receiving hateful messages is incredibly valid and honestly the smartest thing for anyone’s mental health when conflict gets out of control on tumblr. i don’t consider the hateful messages sarah was getting to have been constructive criticism of the kind i’ve previously been describing in this post; i’m fully against anyone sending anon hate for any reason. amber answered an ask about this (link) and i agree with everything amber said. for me, it is both true that the anon hate sarah received was horrible and inexcusable and that i cannot continue standing by while she refuses to be held accountable for the impact of her actions, regardless of her intent.

3) i think in response to you not understanding the way people reacted to this, that’s probably connected to the one place where we do have a major difference in the way we’re thinking? specifically the part where you said “She wrote something that was very deep and very personal, tagged it as such, and posted in on the internet. All things that are allowed.”

you’re right that there’s no laws or literal rules preventing what she did, and i think i’ve repeatedly said that i understand and support people writing fic to cope with their own experiences, but that sarah crossed a line when posting this fic specifically. amber covers that really well in her response to an ask, as well (link). please read what amber said; i am in total agreement with them. 

what you said about sarah’s fic-that it was very deep and very personal- is also true about what dan shared with us in basically i’m gay. publishing a fic that uses dan’s trauma in the way that sarah did is incredibly dehumanizing and it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach with horror. dan and phil are human people, and it’s never okay to take ownership over another person’s trauma like that.

does that make sense? i don’t mean to have an aggressive or hostile tone whatsoever either, and i can’t tell whether i’ve succeeded in avoiding that in this reply.