#lmao imagine holding a grudge over a fucking fandom

[mettywiththenotes]

I got tagged by @haleigh-sloth! 😊

Why did you choose your URL?

Metty is a part of my name and whenever I get into a new series, whatever it may be, I usually type down my thoughts in the notes app on my phone. I’ve done this for years and it was what I used before I got a tumblr account. I even still use it! Not to the same extent I did before, but I still do it to organize my thoughts

I only realized after I made this account that it kind of sounds like I’m bragging or smthg lmao. But thats not the case, no. I just type things down in my notes app a lot

Any side blogs?

Nope

How long have you been on tumblr?

Hoo boy this is kind of an unspecific question. Okay so I got an account 4 months ago. However, I’ve stalked tumblr since I was 11 or 12. So I didn’t have an account back then but I have been going on tumblr most of my life. Of course now that I look back on it, it isn’t the same thing as actually having a blog on here, cuz I never interacted with anybody or even any posts, but idk I’d say it still counts. Kind of? A little bit? Technically? Idk lol

Do you have a queue tag?

Nope

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

This is actually kind of funny. As I’ve just said, I’ve been stalking tumblr for a long time, and I’ve been a fan of BNHA ever since chapter 150 (cuz thats what the latest chapter was at the time I caught up), so naturally, I stalked the BNHA fandom out of curiosity to see what people thought of it. So I’ve seen a lot of varying opinions on the series

It was literally on the same day BNHA chapter 317 came out, and I decided to actually make an account because there were so many bad takes on that chapter that I just decided to make a blog and put down my own thoughts

I can’t even remember what those bad takes were lol (it was probably just fans complaining that the series is going downhill and jumping to conclusions just because of what happened in that specific chapter. as usual). But I was frustrated enough to sign up, thats for sure

ANOTHER REASON why I joined is because, throughout the years I’ve been stalking the BNHA fandom, not once did I see any posts about Izuku and Shigaraki and the potential of their relationship. I’m aware now that there were probably some hidden blogs I hadn’t come across that maybe did talk about them, but if there were, I didn’t see it in the main tags and thats what annoyed me

Hate to brag, but I was thinking about The Boys since all the way back with Overhaul. And going through the tags was so lacking sometimes when nobody was talking about them. So you can imagine my reaction when that MVA chapter where Shiggy said “What I wanted you to say was...” happened and the fandom went NUTS over it. I was really happy to see people finally talking about them. And then that kind of died down, and I wasn’t really seeing anybody speculating about their relationship. Even when War Arc came around, I thought people would talk about their interactions more (NOT in a negative “Izuku is gonna have to kill Shiggy” way, but in a positive way), but that didn’t happen until chapter 295

So yeah. Thats another reason why I joined, and it’s kinda connected to the first reason. I wanna talk about The Boys. I wanna fill the bnha tags with posts about these two. Be the change you wanna see in the fandom ig lol

Oh, and also talk about the stuff that interests me. Obviously. But the actual reasons for joining are just spite

Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

That sketch of Shiggy and Izuku is the only one we have of them being goofy, and I’ve always wanted Hori to do a sketch of them being silly. So its like nailing proof of their interactions to a front-and-center wall so everyone can see it

Why did you choose your header?

I couldn’t think of any other header to have. I wanted one that looked nice, so I picked the background for Nine and Shiggy’s flower island scene

What’s your post with the most notes?

The Shouto joke post with the record scratch freeze frame lol

How many mutuals do you have?

6 mutuals

How many followers do you have?

182 followers

How many people do you follow?

24 people

How often do you use tumblr each day?

Oof. Quite an embarrassing amount. I try to keep off it during leak nights though, so I skip one day out of the week, if I can resist lol

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Nope

How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Ahh. Well, if its posts about info that could potentially help somebody, I do reblog them after doing a bit of my own research. They could help people or they couldn’t but if there’s a chance that they could, and I agree with what it says, then I reblog

If its those posts that are like “you need to reblog this or else your dog will die” or smthg, then no I don’t like them and I scroll past them

Do you like tag games?

Yes!

Do you like ask games?

Yes!!

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Ahh... haleigh-sloth honestly. The reason I think that is cuz every time she reblogs one of my posts it always gets loads of notes lol

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

What is this, the bachelor? Who should I give my rose to🌹👀 lmao nah I don’t

Tagging: @frappyflop, @zinatina, @villainsandvictimsalliance, @lastsunlight

njksdnsfd sorry for that one long answer btw. I have a whole Origin Story apparently lmao

[maptoourescape]

At least promise you’ll be back on roleplaying and writing when Lucy is back. In fact when will she be back? Maybe you still have contacts with her, even though you don’t rp?

Hey anon!First of all, I’m terribly sorry for not having been able toreply to your previous ask (because I assume it indeed was you who sent it?). There’s honestly no proper excuse I couldthrow your way in regards to my silence. All I can say is that I simply don’tknow where to even start in regardsto the whole Bill/Tom/Klum topic anymore. Truth be told, my thoughts on it areso complex and all over the place, that I rather just avoid thinking about italtogether most of the days. The mere prospect of having to word theentire mess makes me tired already.So I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you, butI really don’t think I’d even manage to write anything substantial in the firstplace. With the tour approaching, though, I’m pretty sure I’ll be indire need of a rant soon enough, seeing how I’m convinced Klum is going to join it as well at some point. I also thinkthe tour will provide me with some much needed first hand insight as well,which will be crucial in putting the pieces of what the fuck is going on togetherin a more coherent way. But let me not dwell on that other ask too long now, andaddress the matter of RPing at hand.I can’t promise that I’ll be back roleplaying - at least not in the format that you’re used to read, that is. Iwish I could, and I’d love nothing more than to jump right back in, but just asmuch as you’ve been left in the dark, I’ve been left in the dark as well.You see,I don’t even know if Lucy will becoming back at all.For lack of a more appropriate wording: she bailed on me.She’d hate this wording, I’m sure (I still know you so well, Lu) – she would think it’s harsh of me to say so,and hold a grudge against me for putting it so bluntly. But that’s literallywhat it was - or well - is. You might think I know something more about thematter, seeing how I’m part of what we had going here – hell, Imyself would expect of myself to know something more as well! – butalas, I really don’t.One day she was here, then the next - she was gone.The timeline of how this came to be is blurry when I think back on it. It’sbeen quite a few months in between then and now after all. But I think it allstarted with her being online less and less in the end of 2017/beginning 2018.She was working on her thesis back then, and asked me for some space – she is awoman who is very much so enjoys her educational prospects, and someone who cherishesher career a lot. A bit of a Hermione Granger, if you will. Her disappearanceswere not so far stretched out at first, but as time passed by, she only ever came online everyfew weeks, until she finally disappeared for good in March of 2018. That meansthe last I heard from her was actually more than a year ago now.And it evenfeels longer than that, in retrospective.I tried texting her on Skype a few times. Although I was hurt and feltbetrayed, I didn’t really word that out loud to her, because knowing her, she’dtake that as ammunition to justify her being away even more (“how could I evercome back, knowing you were mad at me” sorta scenario). So my texts consistedmostly of saying that I’m sorry if she felt pressured by me in any way, andthat I’d love to have her back.I still stand by it: I miss her. I am not someone who holds grudges, and I amnot someone who lets people go lightly once I hold them as dear to my heart as Lucy. She still holds, and probably alwayswill hold, a special place in my heart – she is an extraordinary individual whocomplemented me as a writer and artist, but more importantly as a person and asa friend, as well.I’d love nothing more than for her to come back and fill mydays and nights with artistic excitement and nerdy blabber.But I would belying if I’d say I don’t feel hurt, still.So long answer short: yes, I have ways to reach her. More than she mightimagine herself, actually. I could reach out to her irl friends as well, if everything elsefailed. I have my ways.The thing is though – I don’t think Lucy wants me to do that.I doubt she evenwants to be contacted at all.I’m pretty damn sure she knows I’m still around here. She knows where to find me if she would ever choose to do so. Andthis isn’t about pride – as said, I did try reaching out to her a couple oftimes (to no avail). This is about basic human decency. Lucy chose to walk outon me, so I feel like it isn’t exactly on me to pursue (nor persuade) her any further. That is a step she must make herself at this point. If she wants to be away from me, then I don’t feel like intruding her personalspace is really the way to go. She distanced herself from me, not vice versa,and protruding myself into her face just doesn’t seem fair.I love her, so I respect her decision not to be around me, even if I amdisappointed and hurt by not knowing exactly why she decided to just wordlesslyabandon ship.My suspicions are (ones that I voiced out to her as well, way back), that shefelt way too “imprisoned” with what we were doing, but had no idea how toproperly break it to me without hurting my feelings. I told her numerous timesthat if she ever gets bored with what we are doing, she can just tell me so,and that we’ll try to work our way around the issue. See, when I made thisblog, I was always very specific in what I wanted to do. I always wanted toexplore the relationship the twins have in a very “canon” way, if I may call itso. A straightforward, and very day to day like way. I wanted to exploreeveryday issues that they were facing, wanted to take the life they shared withus on social media and make it into a coherent little psychological explorationof their relationship. I was monotonous as fuck. And I think Lucy eventually grew tired of that. Of me. She wouldtell me, repeatedly so, that that’s not the case, but I don’t know if she was being entirelytruthful in that. It certainly doesn’t seem so now. BUt it makes sense. She was always the one that was gleaming with ideas. Ideas fornew and exciting things, AUs, all of it! In that regard, we were different.I feel like maybe I was holding her back – like maybe with me, she couldn’treally fulfil her full potential. I figured that that’s why she made a new blogaccount as well, eventually - in the late stages of our online interactions. She would say it was “because she had way too manythings piled up on her old blog, and couldn’t keep track anymore”. That “she justwanted to start fresh with all the other people she was RPing with, and that ithad nothing to do with what we were doing”. But I don’t think that was reallyall there was to it. Part of it, maybe, but not the entire reasoning. I wasshocked by her making another account, and it left a bitter taste in my mouth.She didn’t tell me she was making one, nevermind why she was doing it, so Ifigured she just wanted to start fresh with me as well, which meant ignoring the building upof our characters that we had going on for more than two solid years at that point. And that was harsh. We were deathbykaulitz andmaptoourescape, you know. It was an experience. It was ongoing, and personal,and very close to my heart. And with her making a new blog, it felt like shedidn’t really feel the same way anymore. Maybe that’s when “the beginning ofthe end” truly began. Perhaps she just wanted to start anew, and felt likethere was no way to do it without hurting my feelings. Perhaps she just feltlike there’s not much more she could begin to do with me any longer. That itwas boring, and repetitive, and exhausting, and unexciting.Last I heard of her, she told me she was “ashamed that she couldn’t keep up herpromises of doing more”. That “she didn’t keep to her word she gave me, when shesaid everything will go back to normal once she finished writing up her thesis”.She said, and I quote this time: “I value reciprocity a lot. Whenever I receive, I want to give back.And I couldn’t do that.”Maybe at the end of the day, what drove her away washer inability to understand that I really wouldbe okay with it eventually if she truthfully told me that she just can’t do this with me anymore.Maybe what drove her away was her thinking “I can’t give back to her as much asshe’s giving to me anymore, so I guess the best way to go about it is just toabandon ship entirely and never come back again, because not facing it is lesspainful than having to admit it and along the way maybe hurt her feelings”.As much as it pains me to say it, I haveto:her leaving me was more painful than her being tired of my RP skills couldever be. But me being me, I still want her back. Perhaps she mightthink I feel like I only lost a RP partner that day. But it was more than that.She robbed me of a very dear friend, and never gave the two of us anopportunity to actually work around whatever the issue at hand might have been.Iimagine she is happier now. I can’t begin to tell you about the amount of timesI went into the GOT RP community, to maybe find her excellent writing amongstthe sea of other, new people – better role players and better friends. Tryingto find her amongst the Cerseis and Jeamies that would excite her more than Iever could. It still gnaws at my conscience that I seemingly wasn’t enough. Butwhether she’s happy in a new found fandom, or maybe just blissfully busy withonly her career which I know she loves so much – honestly, there’s not much moreI could ask of her.Even through all of my misery, I love to see my friends thrive and be happy.Hell, I’m someone who at 13 years old wrote a long ass letter to a girl who wasalso in love with my crush to go get him if she is what makes him truly happylmao. I’d choose my friend’s happiness over mine, anytime.I hope she isdoing well. That she’s happy and healthy wherever life’s road is taking her.Maybe a bit of a TMI answer. But I feltlike getting it off my chest. You deserve to know what went up with us, atleast vaguely. And she also deserves to know how I feel, if she ever stumblesonto this - what seems to have turned into an open letter of sorts.GG for reading through this pile of emotional crap if you managed to get thisfar lol.But most of all, thank you infinitely for caring. For being interested in what we did, and in whatI do here. I never thought anyone would really care for what we were cooking upwith our roleplay, and the fact that there’s people out there who care, andread, and appreciate humbles me so fucking much. I don’t give you nearlyenough credit or appreciation – perhaps because it’s so hard for me to imagineanyone would take a minute of their time to indulge in something I made. But know that when it hits me, it hits me hard. There is no better feeling than knowing someone loves and enjoys what you created.Much love, and in hopes I didn’t disappoint you all too terribly,Tina

[monstersinthecosmos]

Three Fandoms!

was tagged by @punkrockaryastark ! 

RULES: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions. Then tag some friends.

Choosing just these three was so hard but I obsess over all of them. Also I’m sorry this got so long omg.

I choose:

The Vampire Chronicles!

Yuri!!! on Ice!

Resident Evil! 

The first character you loved:

PROBABLY LOUIS I WOULD IMAGINE? I read the books in order so I started with IWTV and just fell in love. 

Yuuri! The thing about YOI is that I checked it out just to see why everyone was raving about it and all the characters were instantly so likable and I CARED for them instantly. Like Yuuri crying in the bathroom in the first episode ahdgk got me.

Claire!!!! RE2 was my first Resident Evil and she was so cool and cute and badass and I admired her so much! 

The character you relate to the most:

MARIUS?!??!?! The way he talks about his relationship with his own anger resonates with me so deeply, and the way he emotionally operates in general, and his feelings about his own artwork and his horror at his own nature. There’s so much about Marius that speaks to me and it’s why I’m sympathetic towards him and generally have a different take on him as a character. He’s a really flawed person and I see a lot of myself in him.

Yuuri, easily, and I LOVE the show so much for the realistic portrayal of anxiety. I get like that and I so so so appreciate that they were able to show that duality of people who have anxiety, that you are NOT your anxiety, that a vibrant person often lives beneath and can come out when it’s safe. 

William Birkin? This is like 99% HC but I see him as like an emotional, passionate workaholic. SAME DUDE SAME! But I feel like you don’t get to know anyone’s personalities that well in canon so this is like a fanon based opinion haha. 

The character you’d slap:

Lestat. 

Yurio. BUT LIKE, IN A TOUGH LOVE KINDA WAY. I love him lmao. BUT LIKE QUIT BEING MEAN TO YUURI LOL STOP BEING SUCH A JERK. 

Leon in RE2. He’s grown up and tolerable by 4 but GODDAMN he’s such an arrogant prick in 2 I can’t stand him. Omfg. 

Three favorite characters (these are in order of preference):

Marius, Armand, Daniel. 

Victor, Yuuri, Makkachin. 

Wesker, Birkin, Hunk.  

A character you liked at first but not so much anymore:

Lestat, for sure. Louis, to an extent. I still love HC/fanon Louis but I’m disappointed that he’s stagnated in canon. 

!!  I can’t think of anyone LOL. The whole cast is pure and lovely. 

Chris and Claire, I guess. CHRIS BECAUSE HE CLEARLY HAS A PROBLEM WITH PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS AND IS NOT SOMEONE TO BE ADMIRED, and with Claire this is again 99% HC/fanon but I’m still holding a grudge from old fanfics that went into detail about how she ditched Sherry after the city got destroyed and how Sherry was traumatized by being repeatedly abandoned by all the adults in her life lol. 

A character you did not like at first, but they’ve grown on you:

Daniel! I didn’t dislike him but I never cared about him that much. Something clicked with me last readthrough and I’m just adhjgkal. 

Yurio! This seems disingenuous cause it’s not like I had time to marinate and decide I liked him, it’s more his growth as a character throughout the first season and how he became more likable once we got to know him haha. 

Maybe Rebecca? It has a lot to do with how 2D she is in the original game and that she got a MASSIVE upgrade in the Gamecube games. But I just felt like they fleshed her personality out more. Like Zero is such a fucking silly game we probably shouldn’t even acknowledge it as canon but she’s so good in it, she’s so fierce and brave! 

3 OTPs:

Armand/Daniel, Marius/Pandora, Lestat/Nicki. 

Victor/Yuuri, Yurio/Otabek, Mila/Sara! Btw I’m old and I don’t do ship names LOL. 

Wesker/Birkin, Leon/Ada, Chris/Jill. 

Tagging @yureiyume @vampatoire @claudiasashes @blood-of-the-rose @superhiki @nostradamusjenkins @sanguinivora @itwasthereaminuteago @theincrediblechicken