#whatever it is it's affecting my entire life
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PERMASHIFTING SOON
haiiiii :3 okay so guys im scripting out this new world i’m creating, like a whole different planet entirely. ill be taking everything i’ve manifested here and bring it over to my new world im creating let me give you all a bit of fun facts about my planet/world im creating and some other stuff!
everyone who lives on that planet is automatically considered immortal
“human” race does not exist we can still obviously have human bodies but instead of “race” people will be categorized by rank in civilization (i have to figure out what our species would be called)
7 continents will exist
war will absolutely never exist
languages will be completely different the only language i might bring over is japanese which is my native language
before meeting anyone in that planet you will get a 10 second little mini-movie” of how a person acts and the experiences you will make with them
every choice you make will affect your life (butterfly affect) and you’ll know because everyone on the planet is given a little cute watch that monitors their decisions and warns them of the consequences it’ll have
this planet is absolutely and forever healthy, animals will never go extinct (im not bringing back the dinosaurs or whatever lol. maybeee idk)
everyone in this planet experiences has very strict morals they follow (crime doesn’t exist here)
wealth doesn’t exist and currency doesn’t exist (no, nobody steals everyone here shops normally and peacefully)
social media does not exist here (because there will always be something amazing and fun to do in this world, and people love creating memories with people in this world on polaroids instead of phones)
romance is genuine romance here none of that corny/harsh stuff people here know how to love
mermaids exist (friendly ones only), unicorns exist, Atlantis exists, cute fairies exist (but they only exist on a special continent and everyone respects the continent)
history in this world is completely different and rewritten
schools are immune to stressing anyone out and are always fun and the students here love coming to school
this planet is located in a different universe and different timeline
every continent respects each other (no racism here)
both genders are treated equally
religion does not exist (don’t come for me)
yeah lol this is just a slightly small but big preview after i finish this lol im perm shifting, so i won’t have any memory of this account!! i’ll miss you guys though 🤍
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The Sturniolos and Activism
I know people hate talking about politics on here because this is a safe space meant to be about lusting over whoever we want while posting silly goofy memes and shitposting and vibing amongst each other. 🤷🏾♀️
But I’m a 23 year old black non-binary person who’s a first-generation kid to immigrant parents. My whole entire life is politics. My existence is political. And it frustrates me (and I’m sure many others who share my stance or my minority backgrounds) when people try to sweep whatever I, and other minorities, say under the rug. So I’m going to talk about it. I’m just getting my grievances and concerns off my chest.
The triplets and some of those around them have posted about the fires going on in California and have shared resources to help those affected, which is absolutely beautiful!! What’s happening there has to be highlighted, as many people who aren’t celebrities or rich are being misplaced and harmed by this natural disaster.
However, I find it quite saddening and disappointing to see how easy it is for them and others to pick and choose what things they want to highlight versus others. The fires personally affect them, since they live in California, so obviously they’re going to post about it. But, what’s going on in countries like Palestine, Sudan, Congo, Lebanon, and other areas of the world within the last year have also been huge events that, while they may not directly affect you, still affect many others, including entire bloodlines being destroyed.
This pick and choose behavior isn’t surprising at all to be honest. It’s just very disappointing.
Do I expect them to post anything about Palestine or other affected countries? No. They’re rich white kids from the suburbs who are now making the big bucks! They aren’t obligated to post about any sort of real-life event. They’re not obligated to post about politics and their views. They’re just normal people who happen to make a lot of money and have a huge following. These are very obvious things! We all know this!
But it just would be nice. It would be morally nice, especially with the platforms they have.
And again, this isn’t just regarding the triplets. It’s any influencer/celebrity/person with a platform. Duh.
That’s all I have to say about it. If you don’t like this stance, that’s okay! You’re not obligated to. But at least open your heart, mind, and soul to understanding this viewpoint, even if only a little bit.
#nickssidewitch#nickssidewitch thoughts 💬#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#matthew sturniolo
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The Sea Queen
Chapter 8
——
story commissioned by the amazing @libby-for-life! Based off one of the first pics @sir-tater-of-the-tot made that got me hooked on this fandom to began with. I blame them entirely.
———
Adam gazed out from the dim confines of his cave, the salty mist of the ocean gently curling around him, as he released a melancholy sigh. Years had drifted by like the sand on the ocean floor, and in the depths of his heart, he had lost count of how long he had been submerged beneath the waves. The promise that Lucifer had made—binding and unwavering—was now realized: their undersea home, once serene, was now a bustling haven for Krakens. Swarming about him were not just strangers of the deep but his own progeny, countless offspring and grand-offspring that he cherished, each a vibrant testament to his legacy.
Yet, as night cloaked the world outside and silence settled like a thick blanket, Adam often found his thoughts spiraling back to the life he had left behind. The tumultuous echoes of his former existence haunted him during these quiet hours. He recalled the laughter and warmth of those he had loved, the memories that felt like distant stars shimmering just out of reach. Night after night, while the Krakens slumbered or drifted off to their own homes, he couldn't shake the haunting realization that his found family—the one he had forged through trials and triumphs—was likely scattered by the currents of time, their stories entwined with the vast ocean, perhaps long forgotten by the world above.
The sorrow wrapped around him like the very sea that cradled his cave, and despite the love he felt for his undersea family, a deep longing for the days gone by weighed heavily on his heart. In moments of solitude, he grieved for the connections that had faded, leaving only shadows in the depths of his memory.
"My love, what are you doing out here?" Lucifer's deep, resonant voice cut through the tranquil sounds of the ocean. He approached Adam from behind, wrapping his strong, sinuous arms around him in a warm embrace. Adam leaned into the warmth, feeling a rush of affection as he turned to meet Lucifer's gaze.
A soft smile graced Adam's lips, one that held a lifetime of memories. There had been a time, long ago, when he despised the creature that now enveloped him in tenderness. The memories of their horrible past felt like echoes of another life, fading with each passing year. Now, decades later, he found himself utterly captivated by the being before him, his heart swelling with love for the magnificent Kraken.
Being in Lucifer's presence had transformed Adam in ways he could have never imagined. His body had adapted to the depths of the ocean, growing delicate gills on the sides of his neck to breathe freely beneath the waves. His hands and feet had become webbed, enabling him to glide seamlessly through the water, a part of the aquatic world that Lucifer called home. Even his eyes had transformed, shifting to a shimmering slitted gold that caught the light like sunlit ripples on the surface. Every change was a testament to his deep bond with Lucifer. And probably because he had traces of his DNA inside him.
“Just thinking… you said you wanted to talk to me, right?” Adam inquired, his voice cutting through the murky depths as he turned to face Lucifer. The Kraken, usually so imposing and confident, suddenly faltered, his gaze dropping away as if he couldn't bear to meet Adam's eyes. The tension in the water hung thick like a heavy mist, signaling that whatever words were on the tip of Lucifer’s tongue were bound to be complex and laden with unspoken weight.
“My population is up again,” Lucifer finally said, his voice steady but devoid of the usual vibrancy. Adam tilted his head, intrigued yet confused, trying to decipher the meaning behind the cryptic announcement. “Our deal is complete. You no longer need to stay here any longer.”
As those words settled in the space between them, a surge of confusion and disbelief coursed through Adam like a current. Did Lucifer actually mean it? The realization struck him with the force of a sudden tide, leaving him feeling disoriented and unsteady despite being submerged in water. Was he truly just going to dismiss Adam, letting him drift away from the bond they had formed? The thought churned his stomach, twisting it into a knot of nausea and despair.
“Unless you want something different. Jewels? Your own place? Whatever you desire, I’m willing to provide it,” Lucifer remarked, his tone far too casual and seemingly unaware of the storm of emotions raging within Adam.
What did Adam truly want? The answer hit him like a bolt of lightning—he wanted to stay! He longed to be close to his Mate, reveling in that bond that felt so essential to his very being. But then a sudden realization washed over him: they were technically not fully mated yet. It was a crucial detail he had overlooked in the haze of their connection.
When he had received his mating mark, he had been blissfully ignorant of the full implications of that sacred bond. The truth was clear now; the process would not be complete until he took that final, decisive step and claimed Lucifer as his own by biting back.
As these thoughts spiraled in his mind, he glanced at Lucifer, who continued to speak, his demeanor carefree and his gaze diverted elsewhere, not yet meeting Adam’s desperate eyes. The weight of his unspoken feelings felt heavier with each passing moment, as uncertainty gnawed at the edges of his heart. Adam silently grappled with his needs and desires, torn between the instinct to connect and the reality of their incomplete union.
He didn't let Lucifer complete his sentence as he grabbed Lucifer's shoulders and bit his neck. The Kraken stilled as Adam easily broke through the skin. He made sure to clamp down hard, wanting his bite stick and Adam relaxed when he felt hands gently massage his back. "Adam?" Lucifer whimpered out. Adam let go, blood mixing in the water. "Mine. Mate. I want you. If you try to make me leave, I'll just hunt you down again. You don't get to leave me." Adam's form was trembling and that was when Lucifer saw Adam was on the verge of tears.
"My poor Adam." Lucifer said, "Of course I want you to stay." He smirked at Adam and brought him even closer. "Let me prove it to you." Adam's face turned red and he was brought deeper into the cave. It seemed they were going to add more children to their already huge family.
——-
I was going to save this till I added a little more. But with the fires and everyone sick, I’ll just make it another chapter. But letting anyone who’s interested know, that there will be more. This is more of a time skip. Like… a hundred years. The art is done by @sir-tater-of-the-tot!
pervs:
#adam x lucifer#adamsapple#guitarduck#lucifer x adam#hazbin hotel#by sir tater of the tots commission art#libby’s stroy#kraken lucifer#humanish adam#I might be getting sick too and we’re on fire again. I wanna nap…#This is my mental comfort food
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Husband! Bob x Spouse Reader
cw: light angst
You glared at your ex-husband, Bob Velseb, standing at your doorway with a bag of fresh meat that all but screamed his latest gruesome exploits. It wasn’t hard to connect the dots—people had been going missing again.
Bob’s lips curled into a disarming smile, his southern drawl honeyed and deliberate. “I’m home, darlin’. Why don’t I whip up something’ nice' for you and the girls? Just like old times.”
Your hands clenched into fists as a wave of anger surged through you. Did he really think you’d let him stroll back into your life after disappearing when your now three-year-old daughter was only two months old? Fat chance.
He had always been a storm of chaos, leaving destruction in his wake, but this time it wasn’t just about you. Your two daughters, peacefully asleep upstairs, were your everything. You weren’t going to let Bob ruin the stability and safety you’d fought so hard to build.
“No,” you growled, stepping into the doorway to block his path. “You can fuck off and leave the girls out of this.”
Bob’s smile faltered slightly as you jabbed a finger toward the bag in his hand. “And take that mess with you. The girls believe their father is six feet under, and I intend to keep it that way.”
His eyes darkened for a moment, the smile on his face twisting into something colder, more dangerous. But you held your ground, your protective instincts blazing brighter than any fear he could try to stir in you.
“Six feet under, huh?” he drawled, his southern accent dripping with a charm that felt as fake as the smile plastered on his face. “Well, darlin’, ain’t that somethin’? Here I am, back from the grave, just to see my family. Reckon that makes me a ghost, doesn't it?”
You stepped closer, blocking the doorway entirely, your body a shield between him and the peaceful home behind you. Your heart raced, but you didn’t dare let it show. Bob thrived on fear, and you weren’t about to give him the satisfaction.
“Whatever sick game you’re playing, it ends here,” you spat, your voice low but resolute. “You don’t get to just show up after all these years and act like nothing happened. The girls don’t need you, Bob. We don’t need you.”
Bob chuckled darkly, the deep rumble of his laugh sending a shiver down your spine. “Oh, darlin’, you wound me,” he drawled, his tone laced with mock sincerity. “I’ve been thinkin’ about y’all this whole time, wonderin’ how my little girls are growin’ up. Don’t you think they deserve to know their daddy?”
“Wound you? You—" Your voice faltered as your hands balled into fists at your sides. You exhaled sharply, forcing yourself to steady your trembling voice. “Their daddy is the man who’s been there for them—the one who raised them. Not the one who ran off and left us to pick up the pieces without warning! So no, Bob. They don’t need to know you. Not now. Not ever… I’m sorry.”
Bob’s smirk faded slightly, a flicker of something unreadable crossing his face. But before he could respond, you continued, your voice breaking with raw emotion.
“Did you even think about how your disappearing act would affect them?” Your eyes filled with tears, and you blinked quickly, refusing to let them fall. “They asked for you day and night, Bob. Day and night. And I—"
You choked on the words, your pain spilling out in each syllable as you met his gaze. Bob’s frown deepened, his confident demeanor faltering as guilt flickered in his eyes.
For a moment, just a moment, the mask slipped, and he looked almost human like when you first met. Then, as if compelled by something primal, Bob suddenly moved toward you, his steps quick and purposeful. The air between you grew tense, and your breath hitched as his intentions became unclear.
You closed your eyes, bracing for the worst, your heart pounding as fear gripped you. But instead of pain, you felt the unexpected warmth of his arms wrapping around you. It wasn’t rough or forceful—it was tender, almost comforting.
Your breath caught as you opened your eyes, looking up at him through a blur of tears. His expression was unreadable, a strange mixture of guilt and longing etched across his face.
“Bob…” you whispered, your voice trembling.
He leaned down slowly, pressing a soft, almost reverent kiss to your forehead. The gesture left you stunned, tears spilling freely down your cheeks. It wasn’t what you expected, not from the man who had brought so much chaos and pain into your life.
For a brief moment, you saw the man you had once loved, hidden beneath the years of betrayal and destruction. Yet, the warmth of his embrace couldn’t erase the past or the weight of his actions.
You pulled back slightly, your voice breaking as you whispered, “Bob… Please, just leave. For their sake.”
Your plea wavered with the emotions threatening to overcome you. The love you thought had long since died began to flicker, betraying your resolve. It was a dangerous ember, one that could easily ignite the uncertainty buried deep within you. Bob noticed the shift, his eyes softening as he gently cupped your cheek with his hand.
“Darlin’,” he said, his voice low and soothing, “I’ll leave if that’s what you want. But just… let me have one cup of your famous hot chocolate. Like old times, yeah? You remember?”
You felt your resolve cracking further as you unconsciously leaned into his touch, nuzzling his hand. His words carried a strange sense of nostalgia that tugged at your heart.
With a sad smile, you nodded, stepping aside to let him in. “Fine… but please, don’t make too much noise. I don’t want the girls to wake up.”
Bob stepped inside, his smile broadening as his eyes roamed the familiar surroundings. The air between you was thick with unspoken words, memories, and the weight of decisions both past and present. You led him into the kitchen, your emotions a storm of conflicted feelings, wondering if letting him in was a mistake—or if the fleeting moment of warmth was worth the risk.
When you turned to try to backtrack, to take control of the situation, the sight of Bob rooted you in place. The man who had ended lives without hesitation now stood frozen before your wall, covered with photographs of the girls. Everyday moments captured with care—birthdays, school plays, lazy afternoons at the park. His gaze, however, was fixed on one particular picture: a family drawing, childishly scrawled in crayon.
It was simple yet heartbreaking—a depiction of all four of you holding hands in a park, smiling under a bright yellow sun. Beneath the figure labeled "Mom" was you, next to two smaller figures marked "Us." But next to the towering figure meant to represent Bob, the words "My Guardian Angel" were written in wobbly letters.
Bob’s face twisted as he stared, his usual confidence crumbling into something vulnerable, raw. Guilt rippled through his expression as he clenched and unclenched his fists.
Finally, he turned to you, who stood leaning against the kitchen doorway, your arms crossed defensively as you waited for him to process whatever he was feeling.
“I guess you couldn’t really tell them their dad’s a red devil, huh?” he murmured, his voice unsteady as he finally walked toward you.
You didn’t look at him, your gaze locked on the stove as you quietly prepared the hot chocolate. “No,” you replied softly but firmly. “I can’t.”
The silence between you two stretched, thick and heavy, broken only by the soft clinking of the spoon as you stirred the hot chocolate on the stove. Bob watched you intently, his gaze tracing every movement with a mixture of longing and regret. He had missed you—the way you moved, the way your voice filled the room. For all his selfish desires, he knew better than to say it aloud.
Your voice shattered his thoughts.
“You know, Belle—our youngest—found an old picture of you.” You smiled faintly, but the sadness in your eyes cut deeper than any words could. “She was kissing it and asking where you were. I had to remind her… you were in ‘heaven.’”
Bob’s confident demeanor faltered. He looked away, unable to meet your gaze for the first time, guilt etched into every line of his face.
You poured the steaming hot chocolate into a cup, setting it down in front of him with deliberate care. “You know what’s funny?” you continued, your voice tinged with anger and exhaustion. “I feel jealous of how much she loves you. Because I know you don’t deserve it.”
Bob flinched as if the words had physically struck him, but he stayed silent, gripping the cup as if it were the only thing grounding him.
You stared at him, your expression hardening as you leaned forward. “They buried their memories of you with love,” you said, your voice low but sharp. “Now that you’re back…”
Bob finally looked up, meeting your glare, but the weight of your next words shook him to his core.
“What do you want me to tell them? Why?” Your tone cracked with emotion, though your resolve remained unyielding. “There’s no way to revive the man they’ve idealized without killing the truth of the one who actually left.”
The room fell silent again, the tension between you two palpable, as Bob struggled to find words that didn’t exist.
#bob velseb spooky month#bob velseb#bob velseb x reader#bob spooky month#spooky month bob velseb#spooky month bob#bob velseb fanart#bob velseb x self insert#bob velseb x y/n#spooky month#light angst#angst fic#open ending#x reader#spooky month x reader#spooky month fic#oneshot#spooky month oneshot
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I wonder if people notice. If doctors, restaurant servers, pharmacists, uber drivers, delivery guys, receptionists, and other strangers I interact with notice how awkward I am. How childish, how shy, how scared, how anxious, like I'm barely a human being. When doctors see my age, and then they proceed to have a conversation with me for like 30 minutes, do they see how something's wrong with me? How I'm on the verge of having a breakdown from simply having to exist in society? I must look so pathetic in their eyes. I must seem like a child in an adult's body. It feels like I'm cosplaying someone of my age, and it's embarrassing. I try to hard to act normal, but the raw, unfiltered side of me... it shows.
#I truly wish I could afford a therapist to get tested for autism#in the meantime I'll just wonder what's wrong with me and figure out how to hide it#socially awkward#anxi4ty#anxienty#anxitey#anxeity#vent account#vent#venting#mentally exhausted#mentally tired#mentally fucked#mental health issues#mental health#may be#autism#whatever it is it's affecting my entire life#im sad and tired#i'm sad#sad thoughts#sorry for being depressing#tw depression#tw anxiety#idk i can't afford therapy#i need therapy
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conservative X-men fans will see a franchise about an oppressed group of people who fight for their civil rights and freedom in a world that sees them as freaks and monsters and imagine themselves being on the mutants’ side but then can’t even handle masculine cis women in sports or a man with painted nails or cisgender teens on puberty blockers for health issues.
conservative X-men fans will see that oppressed group of freaks and monsters constantly facing the threat of an apocalyptic future specifically caused by hate mongers in powerful positions who very blatantly will and do destroy the same humanity they claim to be protecting if it means destroying Those Freaks and think “wow cool robot.”
conservative X-men fans will agree with the villain who was based on Malcom X and specifically came to hold his beliefs through surviving the Holocaust and claim that he can’t even be considered a villain anymore because his ideology makes sense and is consistently proven right by the humans’ unwavering intolerance, but go into hysterics the minute a real life minority holds any sort of hatred or resentment toward their oppressor.
conservatives in general will always pretend that the media they consume doesn’t have any deeper meaning or purpose other than being entertainment slop because they almost always retreat into media for some type of “comfort” or escape from having to acknowledge reality and their own bigotry. they want the freedom to be bigots without any pushback or consequences so they surround themselves in an echo chamber of fictional characters and universes who can’t argue with them or tell them they’re wrong and bad.
conservatives have to constantly and deliberately turn their brains off to consume a specific piece of media because they know that they would be the villain in it if they gave it an ounce of deeper thought and that’s exactly why they push back so hard against anything that drags them out of their comfy echo chamber, anything that threatens their blissful ignorance.
they thrive on the idea that their media isn’t “that deep” or based in/affected by reality; that there’s no such thing as representation or allegories or coding in media (and alternatively, that representation doesn’t matter or is just propahanda). they thrive on willful ignorance and they want to convince everyone else to be just as ignorant and the death of media literacy is exactly how they’ll achieve it
#this wasn’t supposed to be a long post but whatever i feel very strongly about it as you can tell#very vindicating to verbalize this#cal.txt#reading is fundamental#media literacy#x men#x men comics#do I want to tag conservatism do I really want my neck being breathed on right now#media literacy is important for so many reasons but this especially#I am once again stating the biggest example of fiction affecting reality is propaganda#and the biggest tool of conservatism is media illiteracy to discourage thinking about /how/ it affects reality#or how it’s connected#I am also stating that fiction reflects reality as much as it affects it#fiction is a product of reality and reality can hold products of fiction#everybody uses jaws as an argument but that’s because it’s literally correct#an animatronic shark almost caused the near extinction of an entire species because of fictional fear mongering#the fucking author of the book spent his life helping sharks as best he could to fix the effect his story had#I’m falling asleep now but literally I could talk about this forever and ever#queer coding#allegories#I’m going full autism here#important#tagging as such bc I’m fucking cooking#5 star meal right here personally
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Was doing okay holding back all of the fear re: the potential election outcome until literally this second what the fuck to my brain lmao
#wherein lmao means I'm so scared and i cant stop crying rn#no one should have to fear this. not me nor anyone else nor the ppl who have already had to flee their homes worldwide#a person shouldn't have to worry abt violence being enacted upon them bc of who they are which like#obvi isn't a new concept to myself and most ppl but i feel like the folks who'll vote Trmp don't care for it#won't affect them in theory after all so of course they don't care#Housemate and I are trying to figure out where we could go and how in case of the worst#and it's not even the first time I'll have had to leave a place bc of safety reasons (two nickles on that already in my life)#but it doesn't make it any less daunting#i just want to live my life in our little house with Housemate and the cats working my shit job and trying to enjoy whatever i can#none of this matters and im shouting into a void full of equally terrified ppl dealing with this themselves if not worse#these tags don't make sense entirely and i don't care. i have things I should be doing and I'm sitting in my room#paralysed by fear over all of this#i should distract myself but with what? at what point do i accept the distractions can only do so much?#maybe I'll just take a nap again. idk. feels weird and wrong to play a video game or nap ordo anything that isn't trying to research options#i need to stop rambling here like im hoping time will pause while i type im out again lmao
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So like... do you think Kim Kitsuragi is a clingy motherfucker if he's really, truly comfortable with someone?
I mean like, obviously he isn't. His entire personality is centered around not letting anyone ever see the truly damaged parts of his soul. He's hiding some of the shit from himself as much as from anyone else. No matter how close to someone he gets he's never gonna be comfortable reaching that deep into his mind and memories and pulling this kind of stuff up for everyone ("everyone") to see. But there's just something so tempting about seeing him drop all his walls, not being on his guard at all, pulling his partner into a quick hug every time he walks past, stealing his clothes from the hamper because that's when they smell the most like him, buying all the dumb shit that reminds him of his partner and not ever stopping to think if it was silly, tightly wrapping himself around him when falling asleep, all the tiny little shit all the time (but only in the privacy of their home and his mind), because for once he feels safe enough to just be whoever he is. Not even whoever he wants to be, just... Whoever he is, flaws and fucked up past and broken dreams and all.
Obviously he isn't, but what if he was?
#Disco Elysium#Kim kitsuragi#Herr's personal tag#I just like the idea of him and a dear bf hanging out on a sofa#Watching an absolutely terrible car chase movie they've seen nine times already#And the bf getting up to go pee or bring some snacks or whatever#And Kim just#Grabbing his leg and refusing to fucking let go#Because no#Man I've spent my entire life waiting for this#For the opportunity to actually feel like this#Truly loved and accepted for who I am#No buts no ifs#And I'll be fucking damned if you're getting up now#I'm getting all the goddamn love and affection and physical contact I can get#Ah kimothy my beloved#He'll be the death of me
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#venting#ignore me#life really does just keep getting worse and worse#this has been the most shit year of my entire life#i really don’t think i can take much more of this#shit just keeps fucking happening on a scale of life ruining/health endangering all to stupid interpersonal bullshit#and bc it all keeps happening all at once and none of it stops it makes even the stupid interpersonal bullshit feel life ruining#sorry to vague post i’m just#tired of trying to ask for support directly and being told people just don’t have the capacity to be there for me or whatever#like cool i will respect your boundaries and stop asking for your support#that does also affect how i feel comfortable interacting in general though#guess i will just yell into the void to no one so i can avoid being a burden on anyone directly#bc i need to get it out somehow#personal post oops
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NEVER let anyone make you feel like you have to leave a fandom or stop shipping a ship because it’s “old”.
Fuck that and fuck them
You are a boss-ass bitch. If you want to be in a fandom BE IN IT. If you want to ship an old ship DO IT. If they have something to say IGNORE. BLOCK. TERMINATE.
Fandom is fun. Shipping is fun. These things have been around since the 60s (thank you Star Trek) There is literally zero reason you should stop taking part in fandom & shipping. ZERO. So Good-Time Hating Karen the Good-Time Hater has jokes?? Wants to be a dick?? Let them. Hit the block button and move on because their actions say waaaay more about them than they do you. And what they say is pretty fucking pathetic
Anyone that feels the need to harass people for interacting with “old” or “irrelevant” material is pathetic. There’s content on this site from the 90s and earlier. The 20s and much much much earlier. Ye olde fuckin content. We have memes that are a decade old. None of those things are still spawning new shit but does that matter?? NO. So why should you stop making content for Supernatural or Captain America or any of the shows Netflix has cancelled or whatever??
You shouldn’t. That’s it. Make what you want to make, post whatever you want to post, talk about whatever you want to talk about, be enthusiastic and a fan of literally anything ever created in the history of the universe and ANYONE that wants to look down on you for it is a sad and miserable little speck of dust. (I was going to call them bugs but tbh bugs deserve better. so. dust it is)
Fandom and all that comes with it is limitless and endless
If you want to leave, if you want to stop, that's okay - you do whatever you want to do. But don’t let anyone else push you away from the things you enjoy.
#their misery isn’t your problem#logging on to see this attitude has been affecting more and more people i follow and love and i simply won't stand for it actually#you do whatever you think is best for you#but may it be your decision and yours alone#especially if fandom is or has been a big part of your life#you're better than the people shitting on you for having fun#by miles and countries and entire planets#you were not put on this earth to bow to people like that#you're here for a good time so let yourself have a good time#thanks for enduring my ted talk lmao#maison speaks#fandom positivity
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#i need to stop doomscrolling its four in the morning im so exhausted i technically have school shit i needed to finish and i have to get up#to go to class in a few hours too#it helps nothing either. its horrible to look and its horrible to look away and they both do absolutely nothing past a point just like w th#other endless amount of absolutely horrible things going on in the world rn#theres no new information now either. just the fallout and seeing what comes next#this and no other horrible thing going on in the world is abt us and how it affects us emotionally obviously like that's just specs of dust#on the thing itself#but. yeah. i. i dont think the human mind copes well w going from locally based ape empathy to exposure to every horrible thing everywhere#....... russia has bombed more apartments and civilian buildings too :( ppl caught under the rubble and dead#just. dear god.. i just keep thinking that. i just keep saying that to myself. dear god#dear god oh lord of duamne ya allah yarabbi whatever variation its most of what goes through my mind on loop#while my mind runs through so much of it. palestina and all the videos of dead and murdered and the children the videos from last week of#that tourist girl in israel the war in ukraina whats happening in kosovo armenia the uyghurs and china all the conflict in india and#pakistan the state of afghanistan yamen civilians being tortured by gangs in south america torture in general and the prisons around the#world and the slavery and the torture and the killing and the starvation and the pain and the million other things going on i don't even#know about and the fucking climate jesus christ the climate change???#and my mind just doesnt stop. it goes through so much shit it maps out this horrible web of pain and pain and pain throughout the entire#world ;;_;;#i uh. i desperately need to take more time in my life and for years on end ive needed to tske more time in my life to think#of the good things happening in ths world too. small things big things anything just anything good anything getting better anything thats#working any proof of humanity in this species#i just. .#.#i go through the full range of human emotion from rage to numbness and dissociation to bitterness to shock to nothing shocks me to endless#sorrow to disgust and i end up at the end#feeling like the same kid who wants to cry and ask why can't we just be nicer to each other please. as if its that simple. j wish it was.#god. i wish
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the dreaded phone call
#whatever he tells me on this will affect the next entire year of my life. wish me luck#so scared but i am trying my best
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anyway. I just think that it’s totally fucked that it’s even still called discourse when it was just. nasties in our own community talking shit and spouting vitriol about our identities and lived experiences as if there aren’t parallels all over the place between us all. The fact that so many ace/aro people felt like they had to a) out themselves or b) share their personal trauma with strangers on the internet just to be taken seriously (or not, even) is just so fucked. the whole thing was fucked. there is so much nuance to human gender and sexuality and it just was not fair what they did to us lmfao
#I used to really fight to make sure that people online and irl knew I WASNT straight and like. I just gav eup tbh#people can think whatever they want it doesnt matter to me anymore#my own parents went 'we dont really get it but we just want you to be happy' which was sort of nice but#when i later got married my mom confessed she 'had been worried i would just be alone my whole life'#which like. thanks but also thats not.................................. yeah#as if being ace doesnt color and affect my entire relationship on a daily basis#in some way or another#like man im 32 years old and I Am Tired these days yall do whatever
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I am not going crazy I am not going insane and I am not depressed
#this job fucks. but night shift is harder than i thought it would be#not in terms of the job itself but in terms of the way it’s affecting my entire life outside of work :(#i don’t give a fuck if I’m tired all the time I’m switching to day life on my 3 days off#I’d rather fuck up my sleep schedule than be lonely and depressed and have no life#this job is important to me and I want to keep it but wow ppl were not being over dramatic when they said GOOD LUCK BRO..#whatever. I’m 23 I’m single I’m bored with life and this is an experience.
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ive been on these antidepressants for 2 months and theyve done nothing. which is very annoying
#its not like i thought theyd magically change my entire life or something#but idk i thought theyd do. literally anything#my post#all they did was make me have a 2 week long period in june#im just gonna wait till i see my doctor next to talk about it cause like whatever#think he prescribed me these to help me lose weight? somehow? idk how?? it hasnt worked anyway#i dont think he even knows anything about pcos which like. ok. if ur gonna treat afab patients i think you should know that at least#its a pretty common condition that also very heavily affects ones relationship with weight just saying#whateverrrrr whatever ugh#ignore me#i kinda wonder if i should look for a different pcp but idek how to find one whos like. idk better for me somehow#idek what id look for </3#whatever thats an issue for another day
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Yes, this is a new account, I just made this. I don't care if people question the authenticity of my post, my experience as a shifter, or whatever I'm about to say.
I don't know how to use Tumblr, nor do I know how to make my post reach people who need it, nor would I be a narcissist and say "you're lucky if you found my post!" I don't mind if this reaches an audience or not, I'm glad to get everything off my chest.
Yes. I've shifted.
I have shifted realities, more times than I can count on my fingers, and that is for a very specific reason, which I'll explain later.
I'm writing this because I'm about to permashift, and no, I won't hear out any antishifters or people who don't like permashifting in general, I don't care about your opinion so don't waste my time.
Before I start, I'd like to say one thing:
I was irrational minded, I lacked belief in myself and shifting. Shifting often times felt like a chore more than a fun activity, and i have to admit, it became an unhealthy habit.
So? Why did I mention this?
Because I had been lurking around shifting communities and I realised everyone feels like this, a very (mentally) painful feeling where the lack of shifts starts acting as your biggest enemy, and the phrase:
"Shifting needs practice!"
Sounds like poison when it comes from an experienced shifter.
Though, is the phrase actually true?
No, not at all.
Shifting does not need practice!!
Here's why:
(BTW, I will explain my "method", no matter if I have time or not. Also, I don't call this reality "Current Reality", instead I call it Void reality, so don't get confused.)
The "practice" you're doing is only affecting your void reality (taking time out of your day, making you constantly think you're in your learning phase, so it doesn't exactly lead to your desired reality, does it?)
Of course, if you view it as a skill, it will in some way act like that, it'll become a skill for you, and you can never succeed on your first, second, third, hundredth try, because in your brain you have registered the fact that shifting is this grand, universal task, and that it is very difficult (because its common sense that you practice difficult things to get good at them)
Practice is a very humane and earthly act, if people have succeeded doing just practice, then good for then, they're right in their own way, but it didn't work for me, and in my opinion it's the worst way to view shifting, and often times it is demotivating, and you'll mess up you're entire journey.
Shifting is not a skill, shifting is a universal law.
I'll become more clear as I explain my journey:
My journey:
I found shifting from a random YouTube video 3 years ago. I might have only said cool and moved along.
A year later something traumatic happened in my life, which shook me so badly I needed an escape.
First of all, I chose astral projecting, but I realised I was too much of a coward to do so.
Then I came towards shifting, first DR was very typical, it was Hogwarts.
Having no knowledge whatsoever in the topics of spirituality, meditation, I went straight to methods, because they were like guides for me, I was very inexperienced, of course, and looked at other people and what they were doing for guidance.
Alice in wonderland method didn't do much, raven method was too uncomfortable (side note, all this raven method does is make you too focused on your void reality, cmon, in your DR are you laying down like a starfish?) And I was having terrible trouble with my intrusive thoughts (which made the floor disappear from under my feet, made the stairs for the stairs method too short to climb or straight up made them dissappear as well)
I didn't have any luck that year, no mini shifts, no lucid dreams, or sleep paralysis. And my DRs never remained constant. They always changed on a daily basis.
I was big on methods, I couldn't realize they never worked for me.
Although, this year of failure led me to finally figure out where I belonged.
A DR made out of scratch, which I spend much effort in putting the pieces of it together.
The DR, which was called "Home reality" really made me feel settled in my journey.
LOA, and the consciousness theory were the leading factors which made me shift.
And don't worry, it isn't what you're tired of being told, I didn't just apply any orthodox definition of LOA and succeeded.
Background to my first shift:
It was a particularly stressful day, I really missed my home.
I was studying at my college (I still am, but...) and I was dreading giving a chemistry test, I did not prepare. In my mind, one thing was constantly looping in my head.
The scenario of the chemistry teacher coming in, and taking the test, and the next day I get it handed back with a big fat zero.
But then I stopped and wondered, having already known about the consciousness theory, so according to it:
"I am constantly letting this thought run in my mind, and constantly letting this reality dictate what happens next."
Basically, I realized what was about to happen next was indirectly in my control, but with my line of thinking, I was letting this reality control it directly.
I stopped, like actually stopped thinking.
And with a blank mind I thought.
"I won't have to take any test today."
And went around telling my classmates this with a confident tone.
The teacher came in, said we'll instead do some practicals in lab.
So the test got cancelled.
Going home, I got excited, i felt powerful.
I decided to apply this to shifting.
Before shifting, I took a nap during the day, (if you're tired your body insists on sleeping, so your mind will get hazy and you will start acting lazy towards your goal)
And after living how I normally would, before bedtime, I listened to some songs, and look at a Pinterest board which reminded me of my home reality.
My method and what happened next:
First phase of shifting:
When I laid down on the bed to start shifting, I first got comfy (for me, if I feel sleepy for some reason, I laid on my back, I can't fall asleep in that position, but if I think ill stay awake until I reach a "detached state" then I sleep on my side, it's comfortable)
I obviously wasn't checking the time, but I spent about 10 minutes getting relaxed, all I do to relax is:
a) look at the blackness (closed eyes, looks like starry skies) and try to believe I'm looking at the milky way.
b) think about my home reality, just faces of my loved ones, and nostalgia inducing images.
c) Affirm, but don't focus entirely on affirming, usually in the back of my mind I'm repeating "I have shifted to my home reality" "I have shifted my senses to my home reality" "I have stopped sensing the void reality" "I am smelling, tasting, feeling, hearing and seeing my home reality" no other fancy affirmations required. (Now that I think about it, you need to affirm NOW because this method has two phases, one where you are shifting, and one where you have shifted, and you are in the 3D, where you are occupying your DR self, their thoughts, and memories, and popular method usually only have one phase, either you are shifting, or have shifted. So my point is if you affirm later and you'll be affirming when you're supposed to be in your DR, and obviously, your DR self won't be spouting out affirmations about shifting to a random reality for no reason.)
During this time, you'll feel tingly all over. It's a good sign.
And you'll feel a certain detachment, like you aren't exactly here, you have no idea what position you're lying in, and where your feet are. (Please, for the love of God do not start counting your feet or get freaked out that you can't feel your leg, you'll come back to the void reality.)
So you can start the next phase.
Middle phase (optional):
To prepare for the next and last phase, you can do this to get ready, or don't (First read the third phase)
This is all about connection to your DR.
Think about memories from your DR, focus on the faces of your loved ones, the way you act, talk, your mannerisms in your DR, or you can simply say affirmations like these one:
My name is ___.
I work as a ___.
My age is ___.
Don't try to imagine vividly or anything, lightly touch upon the basic details of your DR, the construction and foundation of any reality and the person, who has existed there for their entire life.
(That's you!)
Phase three:
Take a sudden, abrupt stop from your stream of thoughts. (Yes intrusive thoughts will still pop up but don't give any importance to them) when you're in a blank state of mind, not longer than 30 seconds, you need to build up to the last step of your shifting method, and journey.
a) start imagining hearing the voices of your loved ones or just any voice, calling your DR name, your nicknames, with different tones. (For example, i heard my name in an angry tone from my father when he was scolding me, I heard my name followed by a laughter when my S/O teased me.)
OK, for me, I started feeling intense, groundshaking symptoms at this moment. Sudden flashing of lights, extreme feeling of floating, and ofcourse, feeling tingliness so much that it felt like pins and needle on my entire body. (I did ignore the symptoms)
b) plan the rest of your day in your DR, which you will be spending.
AGAIN, PLEASE DON'T SAY IT LIKE THIS.
❌️When I reach my DR ❌️ I will have to go to that eye specialist for that appointment.
Instead: (and the more you personalize it, the better)
Ughhh, I have to go to that appointment- this day will suck.
(Don't mind my example, that was the only thing I could think of at the moment)
c) in this reality, you are constantly thinking of something, your thoughts are definitely what constructs this reality, and your current thoughts are affecting your subconscious. (By this point, your subconscious is grounded in your DR, so don't worry about that bastard.)
Now, you're going to start thinking, thoughts which are going on in your DR self's mind, start with one sentence, with which you'll be able to start consciously thinking like your DR self.
And think in the style, tone, and mood of your DR self, and keep the thoughts strictly related to your DR.
Thats it, but what happens afterwards? And what happened to me?
So for me, I started feeling weird while I was thinking.
And I remember I thought this:
"Ugh, I don't want eggs for breakfast."
(I'm not saying this is the key to shifting, at this point, I had covered various topics, including, weather, my upcoming work assignment, and praised my S/O for a good 5 minutes.)
And I started panting, like suddenly I was trying to catch my breath, the room felt bright, so I opened my eyes, and well, I was in my home reality :)
I was delirious for a few second, my S/O was looking at me worriedly, but surprisingly, it didn't even take me a minute to adjust, it felt all so natural and I wasn't scared.
I didn't even feel emotional, at all, and didn't hug my S/O with tears in my eyes, I straight up asked to be served breakfast, incase anyone was wondering.
So that's it.
Although i have much to say, I'm tired of writing, but I'm more than willing to answer each and every one of your questions, although I only have 7 hours left till I permashift, I'll remain mostly active till then.
And no, I'm not rereading this to fix my grammar, so just ask if anything confused you.
Ask away.
I'm still not sure if this'll reach anyone or not.
#shifting community#reality shifting#shifting motivation#shifting blog#shifting antis dni#shifting#shiftblr#shifters#permashifting#respawning#shifting methods#shifting stories#shifting success
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