#people can think whatever they want it doesnt matter to me anymore

[khayr]

anyway. I just think that it’s totally fucked that it’s even still called discourse when it was just. nasties in our own community talking shit and spouting vitriol about our identities and lived experiences as if there aren’t parallels all over the place between us all. The fact that so many ace/aro people felt like they had to a) out themselves or b) share their personal trauma with strangers on the internet just to be taken seriously (or not, even) is just so fucked. the whole thing was fucked. there is so much nuance to human gender and sexuality and it just was not fair what they did to us lmfao

[faebriel]

hgs brainrot has returned due to tbosas .. speaking of hgs here’s an ask abt the hgs au: if things were totally different, and Wilbur were to be a 12 victor, what do you think a possible mentor-tribute dynamic would look like between him & Niki? I feel like it would be similar to Snow & Lucy in the way that he’s just going out of his way to cheat n help her

anon u have in fact struck jackpot because this is a concept i was spinning some thoughts abt before bee mentioned avoxes and we went OOOOH at that!!! so yes i have considered rainduo as a mentor-tribute dynamic and would love to talk about that concept too :]

so for this concept i think wilbur and niki would be close friends throughout childhood from 12, and then in their teens wilbur is reaped and, well, no one has particularly high hopes (he's a writer and a musician at heart, not a fighter) but through sheer trickery and dumb luck, he makes it to the end of the games. wilbur pulled some pretty fucked up tricks to win - when you can't use brute force, you have to use your brain - and partly due to the trauma of the games, partly due to his shame and survivor's guilt, he sinks into the capitol and relishes a new life there as a socialite. to him, the old wilbur died in the games and the new one has taken his place - to niki, and to his other friends in 12, whatever the games did to him made him into every vapid heartless capitol victor there is.

or. niki has her doubts. they all saw how horrible the games were, but surely there is some part of him left, some part that's hurting, even if it's buried deep?

anyway.

like og spin of the au, niki is reaped and this sucks - this time she does expect wilbur as her mentor on the train, and she expects some kind of warm welcome (maybe even an apology for leaving them so suddenly and silently? an explanation?) but she gets jack shit. wilbur is jaded and cruel and unrecognisable and niki entirely hates it. this is the part where i REALLY WISH we got some time of those two beefing with each other directly in canon (or at least interactions while niki was So Mad at him) but it's okay we fly blind. niki feels abandoned, lonely, thrown off of her kilter - she expected an ally in this place, but she doesn't recognise the person wilbur has become. she doesn't recognise his shallowness (...much), his ruthless advice for the arena, the way he doesn't seem to care for anything. she's scared and now she's lonely and it pisses her off - their mentorship is fraught. here are some thoughts from discord on that:

i tend to think of niki as a bit naïve before l'manberg or even doomsday - i think this is an au where this streak would come out real strong, and niki is stubborn that she can get through the games without losing herself. stubborn that she can stop things, that she can protect people. i don't think wilbur is cold enough (or, really, can bear to say aloud) to say that her odds in the arena are slim enough as it is, but he definitely tells her that she's making enemies and that her odds of survival dwindle with the more trouble she causes.

beyond that... hm. niki's trust in wilbur is almost unshakeable until nov 16, even when she outright says she doesn't recognise him anymore. i think she'd reluctantly listen re: don't burn down any buildings, but she would grow bolder each day she had to stay in the capitol. she gets more honest in front of the cameras. she makes more friends in training, and not the ones wilbur recommends. she throws barbs at him every time he makes one of those callous, cold-hearted comments about other tributes and rankings and odds. and besides, she's going in the arena this time, not him. she needs to practice her bravery.

it's like... she hasn't given up on him. she thinks the old wilbur is in there somewhere. (she is wrong. that is not how trauma works.) but she won't hold her tongue just because she

for extra angst points could definitely play up the whole 'feeling abandoned' angle between them as niki goes into the arena - probably due to how fraught their friendship gets leading up to the games. niki wants to focus on them and their friendship, wilbur has stringently cut off (almost) everything from 12 and refuses to let her in; he tells her to behave for the cameras, she tells him she never will. i think the last point in that screenshot would also make for a super tasty argument where niki feels wilbur has gone astray, that he's abandoned 12, and that he'll probably do nothing but sit on his ass and watch her die and he can't even bring himself to care about her anymore, can he? just more fodder for the arena. and honestly, i think wilbur would passively agree with most of that - he values niki's opinion, after all, even now, and if she says he's rapidly descending into a lost cause then she must be right. and it's niki, so she will be fine, and he goes to his bedroom that night and tries to pretend he is sleeping perfectly fine instead of feeling paralysed with fear.

okay now onto the games - YES HE SO WOULD. or at least i think he would go out of his way to help. as for cheating - he's a recent victor for 12 and i think he would value tommy (no doubt a link to him... i think they'd be in touch in this au also) too much to risk the punishment falling onto him as well. i get the vibes this is a games closer to 74th than 10th, so there are far fewer opportunities to cheat and the consequences of getting caught are higher. but schmoozing up sponsors? making stupid ass radio interviews or whatever to talk up niki's odds? sharing anecdotes from their childhood - some real, some entirely fabricated - across capitol airwaves to stoke their sympathy? 100%. with less to lose in this au, i think niki would be far less inclined to play nice for the cameras - i hope you starve, she spits at one of them, and wilbur appears on a talkshow two days later as she scrambles for survival in the arena to talk up how she always saved loaves from the bakery for the poorest mothers and children in 12. he borrows and begs and swindles to the point where it feels like cheating. but hey, this new wilbur is capitol-branded. he knows how to play the game.

if anything he probably sinks into the game a little too much. self-preservation is not his forte. probably wracks up a few heavy debts and favours to owe, but those are not priority until niki is out of the arena, alive. as long as she wins, and as long as the family he has isn't in danger, he will manage. wow it would suck if at some point those two goals became impossible to co-achieve. anyway

i kind of see niki's victory in the arena being similar to the one in the main au - if only because planning out an entire games is hard for meee >-< . she walks in bolder and braver for sure, and with a less strategic pick of allies, but they all get picked off and she spends a few weeks so terrified she can barely sleep and then she ruptures some fuel line and sets the arena alight with a fire that burns brighter and more ravenously than it should. but she wins, and she's airlifted out of a filthy, muddy creek she had resigned herself to die in, and wilbur barges his way through as many peacekeepers so that he can actually see her with her burnt skin and hair and unfocused eyes and trust that what was on the screens wasn't a fluke, and that they made it. and then it's just a matter of surviving the after.

i'm sure there are some other random quirks or tidbits i can think of re: this take on a c!rainduo hunger games au but these are my base thoughts!!

[yoshistory]

part of me still feels like i might be sort of genderfluid and/or bisexual but just traumatized about it. no idea anymore

[neopolitan-noir]

.

[genderqueerdykes]

this whole anti-transmasc shit is making me way more depressed than bs discourse should because for years i thought it was about us. Big US. all of us. I thought we were us. thats why it didnt matter that not a lot of the conversation about trans issues were about trans men, or that very few public figures who talked about trans issues were trans men. I thought it was enough that it was us. but apparently this whole time I wasnt included in that? apparently this whole time I was this like. half trans person who doesnt actually count as apart of the conversation? it really sucks ass.

honestly that's a great way to put it. it's bone chilling to realize how many people have been excluding you from the start, and are only trying to make it worse. this divide in the trans community is manufactured as hell. it's like you said, you thought it was about "us"- all of us. all trans people. but for some reason, there's this common online rhetoric that trans men aren't trans somehow? like being a trans man isn't "Actually trans" or you're being trans "wrong" somehow.

like how are we still perpetuating the idea that the only "right" way to be trans is to be a trans woman and everyone else is a tomboy, or a confused butch, or a crossdresser, or whatever the fuck. like we somehow still have people within the community who just deny up and down that trans men "count" as trans. what are we doing? this isn't community. it's bullies looking for fresh meat to target, and i've had enough.

i don't care if people assume shit about the trans male experience. i don't think that people believe that we instantly gain cishet male privilege (or gain it at all) and are basically cishet men and oppressors. that's just not how this shit works. we're still trans. we are a part of the trans community. you can't ignore us anymore. we're right here. and we're going to occupy the spaces we rightfully can. and we're going to keep talking about our experiences until it pisses off every last transandrophobe.

people who want to make an entire queer community about themselves are a detriment to those around them. people who think they're somehow the protagonist of a given community deserve to face pushback. we don't have to sit here and let people walk all over us anymore. this is what cishet society does to trans men. why should we have to get walked all over on in our own home? are people serious with this shit right now? you can't kick us out of our own home. we live here. we've always lived here.

[lululandd]

being könig’s significant other would include:

ngl this one made me kinda emotional

♡ hiking.

könig’s true home that he loves going back to is the one by the mountains. yes he has a large apartment in germany for convenience but his heart is always in that old house in austria where he grew up. the one in the mountains where not even google maps reach, where the road to his house is half hidden by a large bush. if he comes home during summer he will wake you up before dawn and hurry you up the mountain to watch the sunrise together. sometimes if you’re too sleepy he will carry you on his back on in his arms so you two can make it. summer sunrises are his favourite and you almost always spend the summers and autumns in his childhood home.

♡ his grandmother.

the file in the nursing home says she’s ninety five but from the dates in the pictures könig has shown you shes way above a hundred. and you can see why people believe her words. she is indeed old but she has way more life than the other people staying there. you asked him one day why does she stay in the nursing home instead of his house and he said thats where she wants to to because all her friends are there. könig asks for time off work every autumn to spend time with her. (youd think hed be way more lenient with catching sunrise during hikes because shes there but lmao the old woman nudges you with her cane so youd wake up faster. he gets the hiking gene from her apparently.)

♡ hunting.

because kortac doesnt let him be a sniper, he picks up hunting to scratch the itch. still very bitter because he knows he’s at least a sharpshooter, and expert with more training. mans has more knives in his basement than you have in the kitchen and can skin any animal with scary efficiency. he would share some game with the neighbours and come home with whatever they have. honey, fruits, or other types of game that they caught.

♡ handholding.

he is extremely clingy, and would just hold your hand no matter the occassion. sometimes pouts when you need both hands to do something. one day you squeezed his hand to show extra love and he squeezed back. so you squeeze his hand harder to show more love. so he squeezed even harder and you would end up in tears at the end from all the laughing. he would love to just do more than handholding out in public but he doesnt want bad rumours to surround you so he keeps the PDA to a minimum. the old couples around town secretly waits for you two to get married.

♡ so many plants.

he has so many plant babies that he babytalks when he gets home. when you wanted to prank him with the “creating a harsh and traumatising environment so my plant can grow big and strong just like my parents did for me” he gasped so loudly because he didnt think you know about plants!! and how this is good for them!!

♡ der tatortreiniger (the crimescene cleaner)

he cringes at the awkwardness, gets secondhand embarrassment from the interactions, and groans at how schotty’s unprofessionalism mirrors his own sometimes but loves the conversation happening throughout the series and the friendships he built along the way. mans comfort show tbh, knows lots of trivias about the show. watched it so many times he recognises the extras if they appear in another show.

♡ knitted sweaters.

just like ghost, he chooses comfort over everything else but prefers knitted sweaters over hoodies. buys local or from small businesses. he knows they use better quality yarn and takes extra care of them in the making. if you can knit? better. if you start learning knitting???? for him????? he’ll cry you a sweater of tears.

♡ bunnies.

gigantic bunnies. those flemish giant rabbits that can be as big as a sheltie. one of his uncles saw his growth spurt and just gave him one when he was young. two peas in a pod immediately. inseparable. he was heartbroken when he had to leave the little thing to join the military. even more heartbroken when he came home one day and his bunny wasn’t there anymore. he picked up a giant bunny again when he sees you cooing at some normal sized rabbits at the fair, and now you are three peas in a pod. the bunny would run towards the front door and then flop on its side the moment könig comes home.

♡ ointments.

mans old. come on now. he might be your little meow meow but dudes aging. bones not crackalackin yet because of all the excercise he gets. but he old. at least one joint has to be fucked up because hes always the first one to come into a contested room. on bad days, usually when its cold or when it’s raining you can see the discomfort on his face and you get the ointment for his broken joint. sometimes you sing a little while doing it to lift his spirits and boy it does. would pick you up and spin you around immediately after you set the ointment down. you’re his light, and he loves to see that light shine.

[ganeshpnf]

Now I once said how I really dont prefer/like mixed arts between canons and I fear some people understand it wrong somehow so I would make some things clear and the reasons behind it.

I love arts portraying book Annabeth with book Percy and show Annabeth with show Percy. I dont like the show in general so I dont prefer to share them on my blog, but that has nothing to do with actors. Now, if I move into why I dislike the mixed art:

-People always change Annabeth but never Percy. But for some reasons people just dont put Walker next to Leah? He deserves to be next to her in my eyes and logically, they are meant to be together. I just cant help but weirded out but seeing book Percy with Show Annabeth bcs I know they dont belong together.

-Like I said, people always change Annabeth and not all artists ofc, but it feels erasure. So you dont accept Percy to be changed but Annabeth can and book Annabeth doesnt matter anymore? We know how its a big problem on pjotwt now, you cant even post a book Annabeth art there without being called "racist". So I feel like when artists do this, it only helps them. We get less and less art of her and eventually she is changed in the book arts as well. "I dont see her as white anymore". Okay, but she is in the books and there is a book Percy, then change him too. "But no Percy has to have dark hair!". Also drawing book Annabeth is a disrespect to Leah but book Percy is not to Walker? If I dwell more into that, people that think like that dont realize how smart and mature the actors are tbh. Leah being upset, no, bcs she actually knows that she is her own Annabeth and she said it herself. She loves book Annabeth, she is her favourite character with Percy. She said it herself, she loves that character, thats why she wanted to play her and doing a great job with her love. She is not immature like those fans who think that its racist to draw book Annabeth, neither is Walker, he recognizes the difference and tries to be his own Percy.

-Mixed art gives me mixed canons, I mean its actually is and It reminds me the horrible disaster of wottg. I dont want two canons to get together, I prefer them separate, being their own canons, develop their own stories. Because they are soo different, its only a disaster when they mash them up together.

Now I dont say people "have to" draw only book or show, its just my way of saying why I dont prefer mixed arts. Artists can draw whatever they like, we have no say in this and its only rude to send rude comments bcs you dont like it. So please, dont do that as well. I respect anyone who loves mixed art as well and expect the same respect from who likes. Thank you for reading my rant XD

[scruncheduppaper]

i find it interesting that this little revived dsmp era doesnt really talk about c!wilbur as a character anymore because obviously the issues with cc!wilbur (ALSO FOR THE RECORD I DO NOT FUCKIBG SUPPORT HIM AT ALL)

but like genuinely he’s actually one of the most interestingly written characters on the server (might i say the most interesting?) and like. even though cc!wilbur is a piece of shit i still think he was a brilliant writer and his character on the smp changed my life kinda

i think people tend to conflate character morality/character writing flaws/character likeabilty/creator’s status and while those things can influence each other its not like those are the same thing

i definitely feel like after his revival he became a little bit less interesting, i think ghostbur was kind of unnecessary and i also think his ending was incredibly underwhelming, but the recontextualisation of his character and relationship with quackity with tntduo was an absolutely insane move

honestly i kinda also feel like cc!wilbur being a dick irl makes me kind of reexamine c!wilbur’s character and overall arc in a whole new light, like both within his character flaws and writing flaws — i wouldnt call it wasted potential because i genuinely dont think this could have gone any other way

anyways all im saying is, if you truly want to make dsmp separate from the ccs, please dont be afraid to make more content of c!wil lol. like. dont rewrite history or whatever. i hardly even think abt cc!wilbur these days and i didnt really care for him back then, but just because hes outed as a dick now doesnt mean his art didnt have an impact on you back then

sometimes bad people make good art and thats okay

what matters is what you take out of it

[the-s1lly-corner]

i have a cute request to make

the tadc gang with a shy and introvert child reader

basically reader is very shy and barely speaks, and when needs to talk they just whisper, kinda like fluttershy!

reader hates loud noises so they barely goes to an IHA with the gang, only if they are bored or someone asks them to go, reader just likes being alone for the silence

but, reader does some cute things for the cast, they make little presents, everytime that the gang is in the IHA, reader is busy in their room making little presents, like paper flowers and stuff and leaves at the gang's doorstep, with cute little messages, like: "ur so cool!" "ur doing so well!" before running back to their room.

Caine, Jax, Pomni x shy!sweet!child!reader who hates loud noises (platonic)

i hope you dont mind me running this through the wheel to select characters </3 i still dont take full cast posts/nm i think imma answer this then maybe write an extra post or two (idk we'll see after i write this one); then thats probably it for today, since i think imma work on more art again.. not really behind on my personal goals anymore, just have some ideas that i want to at least sketch so i have that done

CAINE:

would try to make the IHAs a little more quiet and calm but with caines energy and his thought process of "it needs to be stimulating so the circus members dont lose it to the monotony"... sometimes he slips. i was going to say he descends into the adventure waving around a red card making all the IHA-stuff freeze as a joke... but i can genuinely see him doing that. most of the time watches over the IHA now that you're here. you're like his lil kid!! tries to be a dad, falls into common dad stereotypes because thats all he really knows.. though he himself can be a little loud and all over the place... and perhaps even overbearing every now and then... WILL show off whatever notes and gifts you leave for him to everyone else. will make a wall in the common room to hang up your art so everyone can see it

POMNI:

i wouldnt say pomni is shy, but i do think overall she is an anxious person and in introvert... of which is more prominent due to being in the circus (you know, a place thats stressing her out) so it lets you two relate.. and it kind of makes pomni pull herself together for you.. so in a way youre kind of her reasoning to keep going no matter how many times she fails to find the exit; as grim as it sounds. keeps all your gifts and notes in her room on display because unlike SOME people shes not all the concerned with her image or how shes perceived (jax). will try to take you away from a place if theres some noise, usually this is either the common room where everyone else is hanging out at or during IHAs... probably lets you crash in one of your rooms until you feel better. i think she would probably get someone to get you something (like a toy or snack) while she keeps an eye on you

JAX:

i think he would subtly try to get you to stand up for yourself before being blunt that you need to start speaking up. he WAS going to say something about how hes not going to always be there to talk for you buuuuut in the digital circus theres some.. not good implications with that statement, at least a little more than the irl version. less of a parent figure and more of an older brother one.. does keep your notes, though hes not going to tell anyone and hes going to deny it if anyone ever brings it up. hes an asshole but hes not heartless. tries to limit his pranks that can make loud noises, will also play it off to others that he just doesnt feel like doing those pranks anymore. but everyone knows, you know?

[darknoverse]

a long Antasma analysis and why I think he's misunderstood as a villain

about time i made this one ngl. took me long enough but looking into DT more really gives me a different prespective on Antasma .

i'll be first of all going with what we know based on what the Pi'illos and pi'illoper say (cuz basic informations)

based on what the Pi'illos said:

simply the basics. he was a normal bat, ate a Pi'illo's nightmare once, turned into a monster motivated (possibly) by hunger for that . eventually laid his eyes on the dark stone. started a WAR after stealing it. lost the war and got sealing away by the Zeekeeper into the dream world. but before he did, he shattered the Dark stone. its bits petrified everyone on the island . making this a fight where nobody won.

now what Pi'illoper wrote in his books:

basically Pi'illoper sliiiightly gave more details but , still more into the pi'illos pov .

so not much is added aside from calling Antasma a mage king of bats and adding this slight assumption that it's possible that Antasma ,possibly, isn't actually ORIGINALLY from pi'illo insland

(but again the pi'illoper isn't a reliable source much in that matter but yk had to add it .)

So regardless , in both takes , Antasma is hungry for both power and dreams .

now aside from these facts, i'll go right into the interactions with the rest of the characters (and why i think people maaaaaaybe looking into his motives and all a bit from a wrong direction)

first of all his interactions with the Mario Bros:

now not ONCE did Antasma bat an eye on the bros specifically. he was always interacting only with bowser and DREAMBERT. he's ALWAYS adressing dreambert.

the only time he adressed the bros was as "these creatures" . he doesn't care about them at all, he doesn't see them much as a threat seemingly, or even as equals. he's merely focused on Dreambert and Dreambert ALONE .

so, he's so arrogant and full of himself . he thinks they are NOT on his level .

now, with Dreambert:

it's obvious how much rivalry and bitterness he holds against Dreambert yk? he only adresses HIM he only has a grudge against HIM (for now . before Bowser's betrayal). but even so he still has that bit of arogance and pride regardless

especially when he gets apparently stronger by the end of the game . he's deadpan like "if you even DARE i will hand you pillow butt back at you " . (and he did lol)

nooooooow then next part is

Antasma's dynamic with bowser and why i think he did not give two dangs about him from the starts aside from his power and dream energy.

from the START of their interactions , Antasma made it so clear that he only wants Bowser on his side because:

1- he's stronger than Peach (both brawn wise and dream energy wise) also gotta stop here for a sec cuz i do wonder how it would've been like if he kept on with kidnaping Peach instead but oh well.

2- he is evil. he will cooperate better if treated right into the situation.

as the game goes on we get MORE hints that Antasma isn't much of a loyal dude himself but he DOES demands loyalty from others .

how he's OBVIOUSLY not very loyal and totally plotting something :

ok THIS part specifically, to almost everyone in the fandom, interepts it differently which is ok and very understandable!

but the way i see it is that Antasma is clearly LYING about sharing his powers. because he really went "i wish to conquer THE WORLD" but IMMIDEATLY changed that wording to "i wish i can do whatever i want actualluy! just fly around you know!"

but like, sure , do anything he wants , which still can imply yeeting Bowser aside ANYWAYS when he doesn't need him anymore , because by that time antasma is free to do whatever, correct?

ANOTHER hint to why i believe doesnt bat an eye about Bowser aside from the benefits (get it? bat an eye? cuz he's a bat king-)

is this scene specifically:

it might not sound much but it sorta is . basically right before that Bowser suggests taking that dream energy from his minions instead but Antasma is like "mmmmm no you're more evil and stronger idc"

so another trait Antasma has is that he's glutton . as HELL. both for power and Dreams .

you know what that reminds me of? Parasites. in which, parasites pick a specific host and just takes whatever benefits and gives nothing in return . because based on everything before that he's clearly using that "ah yea sure WE- of course we. you're there of course." excuse just as a big lie. he aint sharing any of that power he gets.

When the betrayal happens later on, Antasma is obviously as surprised as everyone else . Not because he's like loyal to Bowser or anything but either becausehe betrayed him FIRST or because he expects his pawn to be loyal to him anyways .(Cuz as I said before, Antasma is Arrogant and very prideful .)

The one take I see from most of the fandom is that in that moment he reconsidered NOT betraying Bowser and actually keeping the alliance which . .. would be possible but we get no hints to that really other than, what I said before, subtle hints that Antasma is simply manipulative towards the koopa king.

Sooooo lemme conclude all this long essay :

1-antasma IS evil . Very evil.

2-he's very prideful and arrogant .

3-he has this hunger for power and dream energy.

4-he sounds veeeery manipulative through all of his screentime.

5-geniunely has this parasitic behavior

6-he would take everyone down with him if he's not winning. Not because he's desperate but because he believes nobody is on the same level as himself .

7-he doesn't give a darn about the bros but still used Luigi's dreams to escape to the real world (idk might be cuz Weegee is a perfect dream host if that made sense)

8-he doesn't get much screentime but when he does there's a lot going on but I wish it was explored better .

But again this is just my pov of it!anyone can have a different take I suppose

That's all I suppose lmao until next time when I hyperfixate!

[noctilu-uca]

Rei Amayado and Love.

fgghhgggghhh....

Ok so ik there are a lot of unknowns about rei and honestly im no where near qualified enough to talk about ANY of the hypmic characters in the detail im about to go. But i like to think i know a decent amount of info and lore to make a good assumption. I could be totally wrong about some things soo pllleeeaassseeee dont take me entirely seriously

But the conversation between rei and nayuta confirmed a lot of things for me. A lot of things i was speculating that i havent really seen anyone else talk about

In the drama track, rei comes to the realization that he lets himself shoulder everything despite having the support that he could turn to rely on. Even when nayuta was still awake and with him, he had the bad habit of pushing everything onto himself.

The line that really stood out to me was nayuta asking if he was going to play the villain, to which he responds with a curt "yes" and this. Right there. Is exactly what ive been thinking this entire time.

Its really nothing new that ohhh rei is the bad guy hes morally grey hes hurt people You Shouldnt Really Trust Him. And rosho denounces all of that with pushing sasara to think "who is he really?" now i know that whole portion was supposed to lead sasara into his own growth but seriously. Who is rei? They knew he was a conman, they knew he was shady, unserious, and pushed things off. But rosho says that it was just a persona he built up, and hes correct.

We all knew rei was a deeper character than they let on, it was obvious to us, but not to them. Though its still kinda funny sasaro just said "yeah we guessed" when he said he was bb's father LMAOAOAOAOA not slick at all... but anyways where am i going with this ?

Rei has quite obviously put up a persona to the people around him. He doesnt want to be suspected, he doesnt want people knowing too much about him. So he pretends. That whole comical uncle spiel was just a means of hiding from everyone, and most importantly, himself. I dont think he really wants to face his reality. Of course he takes responsibility and is *painfully* aware of it, but he doesnt seem like he wants to accept it. Now im mostly talking about nayuta here, in the dt he said he would do basically whatever it took to keep nayuta by his side when she mentioned her not being there anymore. And what is he doing now? Keeping her comatose body on publicly unknown island to protect her, and watch over her state.

What about his kids? As far as im aware theres no reason we were given for him leaving bb. Hes accepted the fact hes nolonger an important part of their lives, sure hes important to a degree, but not in a parental way. Im sure its fair to assume he left bb around the time nayuta was sent comatose. So what i think: he left for their own safety.

He left them to make sure they wouldnt get wrapped up in the politics he did. Their mother got hurt, whose to say chuuohku wouldnt target his children next? They knew what was important to him, so he forced himself to think of them as unimportant. He left them so they wouldnt meet the same fate, nayuta is gone, he cant have her children following.

But that was when they were young. Now that they are more grown, things have changed. They are drb participants, and isnt the whole point of the drbs to train potential true hypnosis mic users? Those mics? The mics that kill users? Why would he allow that? I personally think that its just a matter of "they are grown, they can make their own decisions." mixed with "they could possibly survive it and help me create nayutas ideal world."

Even before the 2nd drb, dont you think it was odd how he randomly came to jirosabu one day and revealed that he was their father? What were the motives? Ive always interpreted it as him helping them in his own odd way. He knew their bonds were strong, so maybe if he gives them a challenge, he could strengthen those bonds while simultaneously pushing himself away. Which woah !! Exactly what he did. Jiro got some really good character developmemt out of that one, and bb started resenting him even more. Keeping them together is his goal, afterall its all they have.

So he got what he wanted. He pushed those that he loved and cherished away to protect them from his issues. So... Whats up with sasara and rosho? Notoriously, he told them almost nothing about himself. But with this new dt he revealed EVERYTHING. A new level of intimacy for our current time rei. He was vulnerable with them, when he was so used to makimg other vulnerable.

I think his relationship with sasaro is very healing for him. For all of them, actually, both he and sasara have a tendency to push others away for either their protection, or his own protection. And rosho is a catalyst of "thats so stupid wtf" and is essentially helping them find themselves after he found his own self.

Of course human growth is always happening, rosho is no where near done growing. As we see in the dt he is growing right in front of us, gaining more confidence in himself. And sasara and rei are still so far from really allowing themselves to grow. In a way, they are ashamed for their lack of growth. Sasara getting antsy over the fact rosho pointed out his habit of never getting involved. And rei reflecting back on nayuta when he just got done actively pushing sasaro away. Nayuta was the only person who *actually* forced him to think of different perspectives and not rot in his own.

While nayuta is gone, sasara and rosho are good stand ins. Will he love them like he loved her ?? NO !!! That man is a wife lover through and through. But theres one thing about hypmic that i absolutely adore, and its their utilization of platonic love. Rei is slowly learning to cherish sasara and rosho just as they are him. Its obvious sasaro already cherish and love each other on some level, with sasara immediately thinking of roshos dreams when met with his own to start comedy with him again. He didnt want to enroach on roshos new found identity. And rosho, pushing sasara to find his own new identity. And so many more examples.

But with rei, he stopped himself from cherishing and loving, keeping himself in the past where the only person he has ever, truly, loved with his whole heart resided. So when met with two people who had a bond like he once did, he stayed stagnant and kept himself where he was. That was, until they forced him not to.

So who is rei? Rei amayado, Rei yamada. I think he is a man that loves, truly loves.

Everything that he does was done from a place of care. Was he perfect? No. Not at all. Ramuda exists now, but to him that was a side point in getting nayuta back, and creating their shared world. He did it for nayuta, everything for nayuta. Because he loved her. And absolutely still does. He did it for his children, because in some way he still cares. Even if he acts like he doesnt. And now he is continuing on for his strengthening bonds with sasara and rosho, because they are giving him a chance to recount himself, and find out who he wants to be in his future. He isnt done living despite his old age, he has so much more to do and figure out, things he thought he could only do with nayuta by his side. Of course he wants her back, desperately, he truly thought she would never leave him. But now she has, and even though she isnt with him, he has the opportunity to restart with sasara and rosho. And hopefully be a changed man when nayuta comes back.

Rei, no matter what name he takes, is a man who loves, and will continue loving.

[shokoppipan]

Miya Osamu | Headcannons | Relationship

» [Meddle About - Chase Atlantic] «

0:43─〇───── 3:23

⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

ᝰ.ᐟ osamu x gn!reader

ᝰ.ᐟ sfw <33

ᝰ.ᐟ First headcannons so ples dont roast me :b

ᝰ.ᐟ Which Haikyuu character do you wanna see next? Comment down below! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

Miya Osamu Headcannons ── .✦

꩜ He’s a good cook (obviously), helps Moma Miya in cooking, he can also bake but not as good

꩜ Gets his cooking ideas from YT videos or something he tried from scrops on a whim

꩜ He’s a deep sleeper, stays up late often, but wakes up early

꩜ Unlike Atsumu, he rarely gets sick, and Osamu takes care of his brother when he has like a cold

꩜ He’s the type of guy to have a short temper, but is not really noticed with his cool demeanor

꩜ As seen of fights with him and Atsumu, he he gets more physical than verbal (abuse) and is hell lot stronger than Atsumu (I stand with that yes, look at how he FUCKED UP Atsumu in their last fight)

꩜ I personally think that him going on a different path than Atsumu is fully supported by their mother, but she did ask him something like “Are you sure?”, since she knows that it also means it will seperate the two, not like she dislikes of the idea of him choosing a different career

꩜ Usually the one following with his brothers antics

꩜ He probs said/says more cuss words than Atsumu

꩜ He probably fell when he was on the top bunk of their bed thats why he now sleeps on the lower bunk

꩜ He’s more of a dog person (He probs like a Husky, Labrador or Samoyed)

꩜ Bro is a SNITCH I tell you, even if he was the one at fault he blames it on Atsumu

꩜ He has a long attention span bro can just sit there and think about food

꩜ Bro is someone who just keeps his feelings to himself because he does not know how to express himself, but pretty sure Atsumu knows when sumthins wrong with his twin

꩜ Listens to Atsumu yap about stuff.

꩜ He has a tad bit inferiority complex due to the fact that he’s always compared to Atsumu

꩜ When they have arguments, he’s the one to initiate first cause Atsumu being the baby he is (even tho he’s older) doesn’t budge, so Osamu lets it cool down a bit and after a while hands something he cooked to his bro then they dont take abt it anymore

꩜ Bro is one to give BOMBASTIC SIDE EYE whenever he hears fangirl comments or whenever someone trashtalks Atsumu (he’s the only one who can)

꩜ Bro only ever goes to the internet to watch cooking shows or Gordon Ramsay

꩜ He doesn’t like the idea of being swarmed over by people (ESPECIALLY FANGIRLS)

꩜ Bro is Arctic Monkeys, Chase Atlantic and The Weekend coded, he probs listens with Suna since they have the same music taste

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆

RELATIONSHIP Headcannons ── .✦

꩜ Lets start of with his type:

- Ill say this now and I will stand for it, it doesnt matter what body type his s/o have. He loves you for you. But I’m pretty sure he loves someone who’s chubby. I mean just sayin ╮(︶▽︶)╭

- He loves someone who’s also a food lover. Someone who doesnt get embarass on what they eats

- He likes someone who’s more initiative than him, like someone who just randomly pulls him and does spontaneous activities like cooking, baking, hiking, whatever

- I bet he likes someone with a talkative or more extroverted attitude than him.

- Extra points for someone who KNOWS how to cook and can make good dishes

- Someone who’s simple and who knows how to appreciate simple things

꩜ This man? LOVER BOY. No questions

꩜ Probably just had one to none relationship cause he believes that when you date, it automatically leads to getting married in the future

꩜ Is one to watch romantic movies just to learn how to woo a girl (me Im that girl)

꩜ Osamu is the type of person to be very distant when someone tries to flirt with him thats NOT his s/o (like girl get yo ass outta my face) and does his disgusted look

꩜ I personally think he has trust issues because the first rs he had or probably the first person he liked only wanted to date him only to get close to his brother :(

꩜ Bro KNOWS how to sing, like he has this low tone husky voice, and whenever you’re sleepy he hums as he pats your shoulder lightly, or whenever he’s in the kitchen cooking

꩜ Bro is a WHOLE GREEN FOREST trust me like he’s very observant to the little things about you, he would even know you’re favorite flower first before he gives you a boquet

꩜ Love language is quality time or acts of service, sometimes gift giving and physical touch, bro believes action speaks louder than words

꩜ He’s not one to be very good with words, but when it comes to it, he gives you very comforting patts and hugs, his hands drawing circles on your back n stuff

꩜ He might not be academically smart but his emotional intelligence is like high HIGH

꩜ BACK. HUGS. IN. THE. KITCHEN.

꩜ Pet names either “Baby” or “Darlin” sometimes he calls you “Honey”

꩜ Holds your hand everytime he has the chance to

꩜ This man (timeskip) always has you on his passanger seat and grabs your thighs when he he’s focused on driving

꩜ I just know this guy brags you off to Atsumu and annoying him about it

꩜ He takes you out on a date to like shop or sumthin, but trust me, in special occasions like on your anniversary, he wont treat you out, rather he has like a whole resto at home and all your favorite dishes are served there with candles and shi

꩜ Grocery dates? Coffen dates? YES. ITS A MUST.

꩜ Bro can’t keep his hands to himself and almost always touches you everytime he has that change, and he’s so smug about it HELP

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

©shokoppipan - Please DO NOT, steal nor copy. REPOSTS are OKAY, but with PERMISSION

[snaxle]

just saw someone say the reason bi lesbians are problematic is because they're inclusive of radfems, and that bi lesbians spew terf rhetoric. i dont know what kinda secret alternate universe you're living in where terfs are supportive of mspec identities but im begging you to turn on your brain cells for longer than 5 seconds at a time and then go outside instead of wallowing in queer twitter discourse made by 15 year olds 10 hours every day you fucking idiots.

terfs dont fucking like bi lesbians. terfs would rather watch us either kill ourselves than ever support our identities.

"i hate mspec lesbians because they tell people who hate men that they're sharing terf beliefs, which is exactly what terfs want!!" have you literally never seen a terf's account before in your life? they fucking hate men and want everyone in the world to know that every single man in the world no matter how old they are that they're gross ugly creatures who all hate women and want nothing more than to prey on the downfall of all women. yea, even those 6 and 12 year old boys that live next door to you. so yea, while you're posting your quirky little "i hate all men they're disgusting 🙄" posts every three days for your 400 twitter followers, you're 100% spewing terf rhetoric!! no that doesnt mean you're a fucking terf but you're sharing into their beliefs and spreading their agenda every time you do this shit which is what they want!!!!

"the term lesbian is already inclusive of trans and nonbinary people, so using the term bi/mspec lesbian is problematic because you dont think trans people can be lesbians!" look me in the eyes. do you genuinely, honest to god think that terfs care about that. do you genuinely think terfs are okay with trans people calling themselves a lesbian. terfs dont fucking care, they still want you to either detransition and realize how "evil" being trans is and follow in their beliefs, or they want you dead. a nonbinary trans man who uses he/him pronouns calling himself a bi lesbian is literally the least of your fucking worries.

i am trans and bigender. even if i just called myself solely a lesbian without the extra labels, terfs still wont fucking accept me because i am not a pure innocent 100% woman. they will not accept me even when i tell them i feel more like a woman most days than i do a man because i am not their definition of what a woman should be. "it doesnt matter what terfs say, lesbian is still inclusive of trans people!" no, it's only inclusive of trans people that you deem are good and women enough to use the label.

people love going around talking about how they're so so supportive of any and all identities and then immediately turn around and be like "hmmm but not Yours." i could be the most perfect woman in the world, but the second i so much as mention i think a man looks attractive, then i am not being a lesbian the Right way.

so who the fuck cares anymore. who cares if i use the term bisexual lesbian to identify myself? im already doing it all wrong supposedly, so who cares if im more of a problem than i already am? the queer people im supposed to share a community with would rather side on the side of terfs because im not being a lesbian in the supposedly Correct way, and no matter what i say to try defending myself I'll never be seen as a true and proper lesbian because random strangers on the internet i will never meet ever in my life has already dictated that I'm not good enough. that my existence is problematic and harmful to everyone else, completely ignorant of the fact that they're unwillingly sharing in the beliefs of transphobes, homophobes and conservatives who would like nothing more than to wipe us all out instead of standing together as a community.

but you know, putting bi lesbians on your dni or whatever is more important.

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Did you saw my hero ending

Bnha Ending;

I was gonna answer this ask, after the story end but i dont think it matters. My answer would probably still be same. I think the story always had issues with writing but it 'especially' went down after the war arc. But i thought it couldnt be worse than what we already get with last arc. And then author ruined both Izuku and Shigaraki's character by killing Shiggy. Its almost like author didnt even bother with them. They didnt even get cool interaction moments Shouto had with Touya and Ochaco had with Toga. It wasnt surprise because he ruined Izuku's character to make Bakugou look better. Author even admitted he forgot Deku's father. Its like he didnt even bother his own main character, even though it supposed to be most important character. Because it is HIS story.

Its even worse since we know Deku was all about saving people and saving Tenko, saving Shigaraki is the main mission of his character arc. Thats how he can be the greatest hero. Deku was never about power...at least at the beginning of his character. Story is all about how messed up society is but author didnt want to make heroes look bad. He killed most dangerous villains (Afo, Shiggy, Toga etc). Dabi only stayed 'alive' so that Todoroki family, heroes can have good ending. I think author didnt want to risk his story, he didnt want to loose interests of his fans and thats the reason Bnha is ruined. I think he really shouldve get rest, instead of forcin himself to write something he doesnt seem to interested in too much anymore. It would be better, if he never continued this story. I would prefer that, instead of what we got in the end. Its a shame really.

Although Bnha end up becoming disappointing for me, i am glad that i experienced the story because it is the main reason i opened my account in Tumblr and Twitter. First time i read character analysis and started to write in here. Even though, characters are ruined, i still love them. And it was fun to analyze them. I also met a lot of people in here. Of course, i had many bad experiences too, it was awfull but i also met a lot of friends. I am so happy to meet them and that I am here. So i am not regret that i read this story at all.

I think canon ending will be this ending for me, because I think it fits story better and what author originally (similarly) planned to do. I put one of my favorite scenes as gif too. So yeah, thanks for the ask and thank you for everyone for reading my Bnha posts. I am still gonna be around here. Not for Bnha but for other series, games or whatever i am interested in ^^.

[liverpool-enjoyer]

hey yall forewarning this is easily the most embarrassing post ive ever made on here. like im not talking normal levels of tumblr cringe/oversharing, i mean youre probly gonna judge me and think somethings genuinely wrong with me. but i really need to get it off my chest so. yolo.

also tldr at the end in case you wanna spare yourself lmao.

mkay so recently i havent been online, because ive been really sad. and the reason im sad is that gavi got a girlfriend. which i realize is probly the stupidest and most juvenile thing to be sad over but hear me out (or dont lmao its a free country do whatever you want).

its not like i ever thought i had a chance with him or anything, im not stupid. but ive known for a very long time that, due to my asexuality (and other things but mostly that), i am never going to have love in my life. so for me, daydreaming and fantasizing about being gavis girlfriend was like,,, how i coped, i guess. it was a form of escapism for me. and now i cant do that anymore bc hes someones boyfriend and fantasizing abt another girls boyfriend just feels wrong. and pathetic.

it doesnt help that all my social medias have algorithmed so that hes all over all my feeds. and to be honest, looking at him just makes me think of his beautiful girlfriend who has everything i could ever want and i feel this horrible awful nauseating feeling in my stomach and i feel envious and sad and a slew of other things. it sucks that someone who once unknowingly made me so happy now does the exact opposite but hey what can you do.

i know it sounds stupid, but i dont think i'll ever feel for someone the way i feel about him. hes the most beautiful person ive ever laid eyes on and oh God i was right this does sound stupid ok lets continue

oh and let me be clear (you hafta read that in obamas voice) im aware that feeling this way toward a complete stranger (or anyone for that matter, but like especially a complete stranger) is EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY. unfortunately, knowing that my feelings and thoughts are unhealthy doesnt stop me from having them.

so yeah. now that ive lost my form of escapism, all i can think about at any given moment is how lonely im going to be. its hard to enjoy much of anything these days when all im thinking about is how im never going to receive romantic love, and now i cant even daydream about dating gavi to cope with it. because all i can think about when i try to is how hard his girlfriend would laugh if she found out some pathetic worm halfway across the world was fantasizing about her man.

so yeah thats it. i know that every time i angst abt my asexuality (which is a LOT like holy shit why do ppl still follow me), my friends tell me that its ok because im going to find someone someday. and i appreciate it, i really do. it means the world. but my friends saying that i'll find love doesnt make it true. plenty of people have died alone and unloved before, and i am going to be one of them.

tldr: a guy ive never met got a girlfriend n im having a depressive episode abt it LMAOOOO

[the-bonfires-ember]

ok so this has a lot of facets so bear with me. standard disclaimer that this is all based on my personal experiences as a narcissistic sociopath; im not a professional and i dont speak for everyone.

anyway.

firstly, yes we do. i think prosocials/egotypicals do it too to an extent but for different reasons and in different ways.

from an aspd perspective, i get annoyed at people and it is no longer to my benefit to stick around them, ill just disappear in a classic ghosting style. frankly i never get to this point anymore because ive managed to surround myself with people i very rarely if ever find annoying. in the past, when ive befriended people and then theyve frustrated me or ive just generally found them annoying for some reason, ive either slowly extricated myself if i could keep getting stuff out of the person or just totally destroyed the relationship so that they stopped reaching out and i could stop expending energy into dodging them. in my head if someone has pissed me off, it means that its going to keep happening and theyve just finally shown me their true colours so i might as well get out now or detach myself so im not going to emotionally invested enough to get annoyed again in the future. essentially this means i stop caring about them at all. as for how fear factors in; it goes a pretty long way back into people being fundamentally untrustworthy and only beneficial in as much as i can get from them. if im putting up with more than im getting out of it, id just walk away because everyone is out for themselves and of course that applies to me too. thats the way ive been taught the world works, and if im not getting any emotional backlash for doing that, why wouldnt i? it just makes sense. im fundamentally out for myself because no one else has been there to help when i needed them in the past.

from an npd perspective, if someones annoying me its likely because i am thinking of myself as being vastly superior to them and find the annoying quirks of them to be proof of their inferiority. the fact that theyve disagreed with me or fought me on something means they dont have the degree of respect and admiration for me that they should. this usually leads to me discarding them out of frustration and ill push them away by just showing less and less interest in them, or the ways i would that i mentioned above. the fear here, as you may be able to guess, is being wrong and being weaker/worse/unworthy. for me, being right and being more esteemed than my peers was a matter of survival in my childhood, and now if someone is starting to chip into the veneer or perfection ive built and maintained they have become a threat and i have to separate before they see too much and i lose everything.

now i dont know why you - orginal messager - asked this question, or why anyone else might be looking for this informatio. i can come up with a few guesses though, so im gonna add a couple things that applies to prosocials and other things that apply to antisocials and narcissists. but ill tuck that away so you can ignore my advice if you want to and just take the analysis.

prosocials - if you have a friend with either of these personality disorders and they are beginning to withdraw theres a choice before you. firstly, you can let them. you can recognise that this person doesnt want to associate with you anymore for whatever reason and allow yourself to be at peace with that. im sure it hurts, especially after what ive said about my reasons for doing this, but if you think you are better off just letting this one go, i support that and encourage you to just slip away with a clean break.

the other option you have, if you want to try your best to keep that person with you, is to address it plain as day. its uncomfortable, yes, but try not to be confrontational. a simple 'hey, ive noticed you distancing yourself and withdrawing and i wanted to check in and find out why and whether or not we can resolve this'. perhaps its cold of me to ask this of you, im not entirely certain one way or the other. but you deserve to try and make it work if thats what you want, and the only way that happens is by addressing the problems and really, truly understanding that the behaviours we exhibit come from a place of fear and the memory of pain. they are trauma disorders. and while trauma does not excuse harmful behaviours it does no one any favours to ignore that its the root of the problem. maybe your friend will brush you off, thats true. they might not be ready to look deeper and thats their right. at which point youve done all you can and now you need to prioritise yourself. but maybe youll make your friend reevaluate, maybe they want to heal. and you can be such a huge part of that by just asking the questions and really listening to the response. its hard work, i know, but i will always be so grateful for the people who made me stop and look at myself and really see.

the third choice is you pretend its not happening and just wait to see if they get past it and come back. they might, its not implausible, but to me this feels like inviting yourself to be treated poorly again later when symptoms flare again and those fears react to something you dont understand or know about.

pwASPD and/or NPD - im not going to try and tell you that you owe it to the people around you to recover. im never saying that. recovery is your decision and it should only be for you. i chose recovery because i wanted to see what i wasnt able to before, and it has been so fucking hard. but id do it again in a heartbeat. its important to note though that i got lucky. really really fucking lucky, and id be doing you a disservice if i pretended otherwise. on that note, here is my advice for those who want to get better and those who dont:

if you dont, if you dont want to see the fear that is reacting to the perceived threat, if its still too painful to look at, just dont. let yourself be blind to it and find comfort in the ways you can. its not cowardly, and its not pathetic. sometimes forcing yourself to stare into a fire is more damaging than its worth, and you are the only one who can decide if it is or not. only you know how close to that fire you are. perhaps its better to distance yourself from this person even if its just for now, or perhaps its better to leave entirely. it depends on how uncomfortable you feel. but i suggest figuring it out quickly and saving yourself the trouble that will come if you string someone along for too long. its always blown up in my face eventually, for what my experience is worth, so deciding on your next move sooner than later saves you a lot of trouble. but perhaps the perks are better than the blow up later on. who am i to say.

if you do want to recover though, firstly, give yourself some credit. the way you are reacting is because this has kept you alive and safe this long, dont let yourself forget that. you arent ridiculous or pathetic or cowardly or whatever else your brain might be saying you are. you are alive, and you are deciding to grow past your trauma and the responses youve learnt to cope with it and thats fucking huge. dont forget it. now the first thing you want to do is really look at what is making you uncomfortable. something is, but itll take some digging. these survival methods run deep, and tracing back to the root of the issue will take time and a lot of work and so much fucking courage. its not easy, im not going to lie, but you can do it. you are worth the time and the work it takes to get the things you want for yourself. find out whats messing with you and see how you can resolve it, either by discussing it with your friend and letting them support you or just rationalising it with yourself. understand that you are able to keep yourself safe, you just have to figure out what you are afraid of being vulnerable to. youre going to be ok, and for the record, im really proud of you.

obviously to everyone: do whatever the fuck you want to forever. im not here to tell you to change your entire life just because i say you should, even im not that egotistical. im just offering my experiences and observations, its up to you what you do with them.