#whatever else they want i guess
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seeing that post by sophie was one of the biggest pieces of evidence that sophie doesn't know literally a god damn thing about DID.
she hasn't done enough research into DID to know that the last literal leading theory for how DID develops before the theory of structural dissociation was that children had imaginary friends that they dissociated and projected their trauma and trauma-related feelings onto to cope with the trauma they received, where these imaginary friends later became alters.
this right here is, by itself, one of the biggest reasons you should never take anything that sophie says seriously. she is a pseudo-intellectual who doesn't care about scientific fact, she just wants to sound smart, seriously.
she also (and the anon in the post) just don't know what the fuck self states even are. they're not fully formed separate identities without amnesia between them, they're states of being. self states are activated in certain situations, such as when the person is in distress or in need of comfort, or in need of mental stimulation and play, for example. EVERYONE has self states, from children to adults. "work self" and "home self" are self states that adults have, and children may have "school self" and "home self" self states. the difference in children is that these self states are less stable and less well regulated because the child is still developing, (which is how we can get to fragmentation where self states become full blown alters down the line if trauma is introduced), while in a healthy adult without a CDD, they tend to be more stable/consistent and are integrated.
even this is a very simplified explanation, but it should get the point across. you don't "remember" having self states as children because you're not supposed to remember having self states. they're certain action systems and sets of behaviors activated under certain circumstances, not necessarily something you actively choose to do.
when a young child is hungry, they may go into a self state that focuses almost exclusively on food and becomes distressed when it cannot be accessed for whatever reason, be it neglect or just an inappropriate time for the child to be eating. adults can regulate their hunger self states much better than children because their whole sense of self is much more well integrated and stable than that of a two year old.
you people would know this if you'd read the haunted self.
she kept posting screencaps of the DSM's entry for DID, which doesn't mention a trauma requirement because people with DID often don't remember their trauma or downplay it, it has vague wording like "associated with" instead of "directly caused by" because that is the nature of clinical language. in the DSM (and the clinical literature on DID itself, for the record), it mentions no other cause for DID than trauma, at all. if there were other causes people knew of, then it would be listed. if DID could just *happen* then it would be mentioned. but it can't, so the DSM says all of this instead.
people criticized her for posting these cherry picked and intentionally misread screenshots of the DID entry in the DSM, so she then took to posting the comorbidities section of the entry for PTSD instead, which says that the [visible] onsets of DID and other dissociative disorders could be preceded by a traumatic event. not that the disorders can be caused by single trauma, but rather that the symptoms could be visible under stress. this is another intentional misinterpretation of a cherry-picked part of the DSM, which is the only clinical literature sophie has read on DID.
oh, and, trauma primarily before the age of 2 can in fact cause DID in some cases. need i remind people that one of the lowest age range for the development of DID was up to 4 years old. not at all an agreeable age range, but there is a reason for that, and the reason for that is that things like newborn abuse and young toddler abuse can and do occur and cause DID in people. specifically, the kinds of DID it tends to cause are DID with comorbid BPD and polyfragmented DID because of how impactful the trauma is/can be at that age.
i follow more than one person on social media whose DID was caused by trauma and abuse and neglect from before the age of 5, some people even with mostly infant/young toddler abuse, like diagnosed and everything. so the notion that DID can't be caused by such things is just... wrong. sure, that's more than likely not the only factor that went into developing the DID of these people (trauma is never the only factor that goes into developing DID), but that doesn't make it any less wrong. while i can't say that these things are commonly the result of newborn/infant/young toddler abuse, or that these forms of abuse themselves are even especially common, i can say that this does happen.
all this to say: sophie is a pseudo-intellectual who has no business talking about DID the way she does, when she has barely scratched the surface in regards to reading clinical research on DID. first claiming continuously that DID can be caused by something other than trauma and citing nothing but the DSM (proving she hasn't read anything else on DID other than the DSM entry for it, because literally all the clinical literature on DID says it is inherently a traumagenic disorder, all the way back to its MPD days; the other sources saying it's not traumagenic are also saying that it's not real, i.e. the fantasy model. the DSM itself doesn't list another cause for DID than trauma, so anything she posts about DID not being inherently traumagenic is cherry-picking, intentional misreadings, and hypothetical based on clinical language that sounds that way for a reason), to this nonsense.
also, conveniently, she never lists what exactly can cause DID outside of trauma, or what would cause a person to dissociate to such an extent that they develop fully autonomous dissociated parts with amnesia between each other other than trauma. dissociation is inherently disconnection, and while dissociation is nowhere near DID-specific, dissociation to the extent of a disorder, and especially to the extent of DID, has no reason to happen without trauma. don't give me that "brains are complex" bullshit.
i'm saying this to everyone regardless of syscourse stance: sophie is not a reliable source on DID whatsoever. she has not read the literature, rather she pretends she has, and speaks on DID as if she knows anything about it when in actuality, she doesn't know what in the actual, gluten-free, home-grown fuck she's talking about, and just makes shit up 90% of the time, all basing it on pretty much nothing but poorly done endo studies and the DSM's entry for DID.
sophie doesn't care about being right, she cares about cherry picking, intentional misreadings of clinical literature and being intentionally obtuse, and doing whatever she can to save face and look right.
there are a lot of reasons not to listen to sophie and her bullshit, but her dedication to be as wrong as possible while posing herself as some kind of misunderstood high-brow academic. she continuously says the most wrong shit you've ever heard, and then doubles down as much as possible. nobody should be listening to her about anything, let alone DID.
and for reference, not to have a dick measuring contest or anything, but here is a portion of my personal library on clinical research on DID:
this isn't even all my papers, and doesn't get into the books i have on the subjects of trauma & dissociation.
to be clear: if you use this post to send hate or harassment to sophie, you are verifiably worse than her and her misinformation. do not use my post as an excuse to send some random internet assholes anonymous hate. doing so only fuels the dickbaggery of these people. i made this post specifically so people know not to listen to her.
#part zero#syscourse#sophieinwonderland#i am so sick of sophie#i genuinely don't care what endos are doing#in that i mean i believe in endogenic systems#and i believe they should have their own communities#and should be able to have support and....#whatever else they want i guess#and that plurality can be a great and beautiful thing for many people#that helps them and their mental health#and all that shit#genuinely#like do whatever#but sophie is a pseudo-intellectual moron#who makes things up#pretends there's more conclusive evidence#on endos than there actually is#sometimes using sources that outright disprove#what she's saying#or straight up aren't trying to say what she says#they're saying like at all#and then goes around and pretends that she's read#soooooo much on DID#when she hasn't posted anything about DID#outside of the fucking DSM#because she hasn't fucking read anything#but somehow believes she has the authority#to say a god damn thing about it#do not ever listen to her
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please can we stop describing bigots as delusional. please. im so fucking tired. someone being sucked into a hate group surrounded by others who believe minorities should be oppressed and encouraging them to believe in conspiracy theories that the rest of the group believes, is fundamentally different from someone having a mental illness that causes delusions.
delusions, by definition, cannot be explained by things like cultural background - such as having a belief constantly reinforced by intentional attempts to rationalize it for the sake of maintaining power over minorities. yes, someone can be both delusional and a bigot, and yes conspiracy theories can feed into delusions, but the two are not fucking synonymous.
i did not spend my teen years convinced that i was being stalked by demons just to hear so many of you people equate my disability with incel behavior and genocidal propaganda. stop reinforcing harmful connotations about mental health struggles.
#ok to rb#mental health advocate#mental health advocacy#mental health awareness#ableism cw#sanism cw#madpunk#neuropunk#actually delusional#actually schizospec#im not gonna interact with the post that prompted this#because i do agree with everything that was said and dont want to sound like im defending the assholes discussed#but i also am still fucking pissed about seeing a bunch of misogynistic jackasses compared to a disability#which has caused me immense fear and suffering#and guess what! my delusions were never ''women shouldnt have rights'' or whatever else#bc thats not a delusion thats a tool of the partriarchy to maintain the status quo#genocide cw#to be safe
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starting off with an amuse-bouche of some of my initial favorite bits! y'all, this update was WILD.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#we really got it all in this update huh#we got flashbacks! backstory! shocking twists! cgs?!#we got the silver breakdown to end all silver breakdowns#the boy does not emote for 6 episodes straight and now it's POURING out and i am shoving my face directly into it#not to mention my favorite: action scenes represented by intensely wiggling the sprites around#and OF COURSE meleanor my beloved. your highness. ma'am. holy shit.#i guess it's mel instead of mal? hey she can spell her name however she wants#meleanor can do whatever she wants about anything. who is going to stop her.#meleanor: hold on baby. mommy wants to make a point. (yeets malleus' egg across the room into liia's face)#man though i am so afraid that crowley really might turn out to have been revaan this whole time#because this means we live in a world where dire fucking crowley managed to pull BOTH meleanor and lilia and i cannot accept that#briar valley are you okay. is it something in the water.#mrs. zigvolt took all the good taste and left none for anyone else
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practice stuff idk
#genshin impact#xingqiu#chongyun#xingyun#chongqiu#dotcircledotart#actually idk if i even want to tag this but whatever lol#rendering practice + faces bc i felt like i was getting stuck in one angle :’)#anyways idk what else to say#oh yeah inspired by xingqiu’s in game sticker bc i find him terrorizing pyro slimes oddly endearing#like hell yeah get your reading light i guess#also please do not take this as sxual thanks
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I ALSO DO ARCHIVAL WORK WITJ HLVRAI!!! i have over 3,000 drafts of old hlvrai art & things; i’m currently at the dentist but i’ll look through them later and try to find any useful information for u ^_^
woah hell yeah that's so cool!!!!!! It's more of a casual curiosity on my part but god I'd love to see what you have that's really awesome!!!! You're doing gods work 🙌
#I'm mostly curious as to where the original 'fanon' designs spawned from and when people started drawin ben with the little shadow#But God I'd be so curious to see anything else you got of interest that's so cool#As far as I'm aware a LOT of stuff got deleted at Some point which is . Sad to me but . It happens I guess#This is a really commendable effort 🙌 bravo 👏#Asks#transmission#hlvrai#Anon feel free to dm me if this isn't something u want public ✌️ whatever is more comfortable for u
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i do not remember the plot of scum villain because i read it in 2020 and it feels like a fever dream now so my characterization is entirely based off of the fanon on my dash.
hualian are my favorite but i do feel that bingqiu deserve the win. tgcf is VERY yuri, but svsss has gender as a main theme and both characters keep getting compared to maidens. overall there are more explicit references to women regarding bingqiu.
#this is the first time ive ever scumposted yayyy#theyre also more toxic and weird and reserved about each other. in a good way.#to anybody else hualian is insane but compared to bingqiu its an honest and straightforward relationship#both have complex facades built off of society and trope expectations but hualian drop theirs immediately#and to this day sqq and lbh are still fighting tooth and nail#in my experience yuri can be. a horrible spiderweb of expectations and assumptions and not wanting to make assumptions#hualian have the plausible deniability right up until the end (their romance is literally SO lesbian coded) but . after like 15 minutes#they can tell when the other person is lying#and honesty is less yuri than whatever bingqiu is going through at all times#tgcf#svsss#my art#i guess lmao#art#hualian#bingqiu#guy yuri poll#mspaint#ms paint#cringetober 2023#cringetober#lmao
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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the way this website treats disabled people is actually horrendous
#yes even the ''progressive'' types always love to imply that literal symptoms of disability#means someone is lazy or that its a moral failing or that they should simply just stop#and the sheer NUMBER of autistic people shitting on other autistic people with higher support needs than them#or who ''act'' more autistic or just have more unpalatable inconvenient or annoying symptoms than them#that cannot be treated like just a quirky trait that makes them more interesting or cute or whatever#i think i wrote like. 2 posts on that where its more coherent than here idk#''this is the autism website'' no. i don't think i feel very welcome here.#mine#yomipost#ableism#actually autistic#i guess other people can add on if they want cause im not gonna be able to articulate much else than that
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hey in ur peri animatic: (https://youtu.be/OCqlRuDaXYU?si=K52WDu_vw9rg7chz) that I have been permanently obsessed over since today and have watched about 20 times by now so much that I have drawn & posted stuff based on it what was that partial bug form peri had?
I haven’t watched either of the show btw so if it’s explained in the show please tell me plsssss
OK, SO the bug thing is not technically canon to the series. It's based on my own headcanons for fairy biology, but i do have justifications for it!! Fairies have very strong shape-shifting abilities, so it would make sense that the form they show to humans isn't necessarily their true form(not to mention extreme that mimicry is very common in insects). And you want to know the visible traits almost every fairy has in common? Being very small with Insect-like wings.
The fact that their humanoid form isn't their true form in actually confirmed in the show! Cosmo and Wanda are revealed to look like biblically accurate pseudo-angels in the museum episode. (I say pseudo angels because the Flaming Sword of Eden is only debatably sentient and I don't think is considered an angel. Ophanim are also debatably not angels because they don't have wings (sorry for the angel tangent I like angels))
So wouldn't their true forms be angelic then? Well, yes. But I like bugs so. Also I have more headcanons to justify myself. I like to think that they have both a true-true form (incomprehensible to the human brain, probably exists mostly in a dimension invisible to us, that looks how we imagine biblically accurate angels), and a fairy form (which is visible to humans but is naturally very insect like and tends to scare people). So, in order to interact with humans, they have to learn to shapeshift into a humanoid form but will occasionally slip if they get too relaxed/aren't careful, hence the mandibles coming out when he yawns!
The reason they struggle so much more with human forms than the animals or objects they typically turn into is that, well, they aren't trying to convince those animals or objects. The more human they try to look, the harder it is to keep up convincingly. If you turn into a really uncanny squirrel, only other squirrels will notice. If you turn into a really uncanny human, they form a lynch mob and burn you at the stake.
#fop#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop a new wish#headcanons#ok I think I said everything I wanted to#my brain has so many useless thoughts bouncing around in there#their bright colors would also imply that they are poisonous to eat#my personal theory is that Jorgen is half human idk how else to explain whatever he is. tall. no wings. that or he's something else entirel#maybe he's a higher rank of angel#fairies are definitely a type of angel in this world#but they don't seem to line up with any specific rank as far as I can tell#they behave most like I'd expect a Guardian angel to which could make Jorgen an Archangel or Principality#but Ophanims are in the first sphere of heaven which. uh I don't think it's right#to be clear I'm not even religious im just way too into angels#Uhhhh anyway I guess the moral of the story is that I did that just because I wanted to an because nobody could stop me#Actually Im just thinking about this now#I mostly drew baby poof without bug features to keep his design uncluttered visually#but fairies having naturally very human looking larva would explain how changelings happen#something something evolution. mutualism. those parasite birds. idk#ok im out of thoughts now seriously this time youre free now#speculative biology
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you’re edwin payne. you’re a british schoolboy in the 1910s and you keep to yourself, mostly. you find your penny novels more interesting than people. there’s one boy who seems to like you but you’re too afraid to talk to him lest you make a fool of yourself. you fall asleep one night, unaware that anything might be amiss. you’re violently wrested from your slumber and dragged away scared and confused. your kidnappers are your classmates and they gag you and pin you down. one familiar boy starts chanting and—oh god, what are they calling you? you struggle against them but their grips are just too tight and before you know it the room is silent. you glimpse something crawling in a dark corner. so do they. now it’s your captors’ turn to be scared. in an instant, they’re gone, combusted into flames at a single touch. a demon reveals itself to you and you beg for mercy, for your life. it’s the only thing you can do. but the demon isn’t interested in sparing you, and he drags you down to hell.
at least he said he was sorry.
now you’re in hell. you think you’re dead, but you’re not. the demon is there too, and now he owns you. you think you’re dreaming—no, not dreaming. this is a nightmare you’ll wake up from at any moment. but the more time passes, the less faith you have that this is true. the demon says he doesn’t want you, he has no use for a living human. and so you find yourself alone, tethered in darkness while the demon searches for a trader. he finds one, and you’re brought out to meet him. this demon is different from the one who brought you here, you can feel it. more evil, more sinister. nevertheless, you attempt to take it in stride. you extend a hand and introduce yourself. the demon takes your hand with a hungry grin and you are transported in the blink of an eye. you find yourself in a poorly lit, dingy room with hallways of equal quality stretching and connecting with each other as far as you can see.
it’s eerily quiet and you instinctively know something is wrong. you stand and survey your surroundings. there’s no one here except you. but there is something. a massive lump sits in a dark corner, covered in shadows. you can’t get a proper look at it, but you don’t dare draw any closer. it shifts it’s position and you hear the clanging of a thousand pieces of glass. now you’re confused, but you’re not curious enough to investigate. you need to find a way out of here as quickly as possible, so you make a break for it. you ignore the thing and duck through the nearest hallway as fast as your slippers will take you. then you trip and fall, not quite stifling a sharp cry. you’ve scraped your knees and your palms are bleeding. but it’s no matter, you’ll force your way through the pain.
you realize you’re lost so you turn back, but you freeze before taking your first step. the thing that you couldn’t get a good look at is standing in the doorway, blotting out what little light shone through. it starts crawling toward you—slowly at first, but it picks up speed. the clanging rings in your ears and fear strikes through your heart. you run, but it’s faster than you. god, it’s faster than you. then your leg snags and a shooting pain runs up your body. you look down and see dozens of tiny limbs clawing at your skin, ripping it apart. you hear yourself scream, a bone-chilling, bloodcurdling scream with which you didn’t know your lungs were capable. it’s tearing into your body now. your arms, your torso, your chest. blood fills your throat and then you can’t scream anymore. you feel like you’re on fire. the last thing you see is a head made of a dozen glass faces.
and then you die.
and then you wake.
you see the same dark room as before. you clutch your stomach, the one that had just been ripped out, though the skin is now unmarred. your chest is similarly intact, as is your throat. there is no evidence that you’ve been mauled to shreds, but you feel it in your soul. your body remembers it too. just as you’re coming back to your senses, you hear the creature clambering back through the hall closer to you. you make yourself as small as possible, but it’s dragging something along with it. you squint, and see the most gruesome sight imaginable. it’s you. it’s your body, mangled and broken, covered in blood, hardly recognizable. your gut twists and you feel dizzy. that’s you. it was you. but now you’re here, and your body is there. so what does that make you? you don’t have time to think before your let out an involuntary sob. something squeezes around your heart as you realize your grave mistake. the creature turns its focus onto you. you know what’s about to happen and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.
you’re edwin payne. yesterday, you were reading your favorite book instead of listening to a lecture. now you’re in hell, and this is your unspeakable reality for the next 73 years.
#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#dbda#dbda fanfic#<- ? i guess#i just wanted somewhere to put this and i couldn’t think of anywhere else#edwin payne#edwin paine#kinda sparked from this one post i saw about how edwin was kidnapped and sacrificed at night#while the night nurse’s file says edwin died around 1pm#he must’ve been taken to hell alive and lived for hours before dying there#which is why his death wasn’t actually a death it was a ‘disappearance’#whump#<- am i using that right?#whatever#hurt/no comfort
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I'd love to have something witty to say here, but I think this one post speaks for himself in a way no words could.
Originally, I wanted to do a "simple" redraw of a silly meme, I have no idea HOW it eneded up being a four pages comic. And WHY there's also a JOJO reference within of all things. So uhm, anyway...
✨ Sources and references ✨
The "Dilf Detected Comic" [original unedited comic, meme format, meme format if you want the rebloggable tumblr version]
The "Oh? You're Approaching Me?" panel from the manga JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders (chapter 143)
Hope you've liked the Aries™ Rizz©® ok bye
#wren draws stuff#artist on tumblr#art#fanart#comics#saint seiya#saint seiya fanart#knights of the zodiac#los caballeros del zodiaco#cdz#les chevaliers du zodiaque#i cavalieri dello zodiaco#aries mu#taurus aldebaran#appendix kiki#aldemu#aries kiki#taurus harbinger#appendix raki#visually I had this drawing sitting on my desktop since August in a folder named “Aries_RIZZ_2024”#what else to say. First 2 images kinda ate with colors and backgrounds fr. WE'RE GOING PINK BOIZ (I thought I was a pastel blue person 😞😖)#tbh this is the first time I'm drawing Harbinger 💖 he's so silly I love him. Also he's like... meme material... I have to meme redraw him#also the jojo part eh. I think I could have done better but I didn't want to change the iconic pose too much and I end up like that#not bad but I think I could've add my own twist to it instead of simply copying it :/ next time I guess#or maybe spending less time adding 300 flames overlay effects hmm... I don't know really😬🤯#also raki my beloved 🥰💖 might draw her a bit more (she's funny to draw and I'm tired of drawing only men)#Also yes Mu is trying super hard to rizz poor Alde 😳 Kiki tried the same with Harbinger#but he slept for most of the original Aries Rizz Class. Kids these days don't have attention span anymore 🙄🙄🙄 (boomer humour or whatever)
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couple doodles from a bunch of magmas. mostly emmets. I don't think it's obvious but I quite like emmet
#insert the “came home drunk last night and got way too excited to see my cat” about emmet and elesa#I had a little comic planned out for it but shrug. they call me. not someone who draws comics often nor how to panel them#scratches head. I don't have anything else to say#I like emmet#spenxer lou art#submas#subway bosses#pokemon submas#submas emmet#subway master emmet#subway boss emmet#WHY ARE ALL THE RECCOMENDED TAGS ABOUT INGO. I AM AN EMMET POSTER. WHAT THE HELL#subway master ingo#submas ingo#subway boss ingo#WHATEVER. I guess he can have some tags since he appears in one of these. mwahhh kissing ingo's little brain damaged head#ALSO. twirls my hair kicks my feet. I'm not a hoh/deaf emmet truther. but I do believe in their beliefs#elesa is the hoh one in nimbasa trio 2 me. she lost her hearing sometime after getting to unova. emmet just has really bad tinnitus#also also. btw. not uhh. what is it conductorshipping? they are best friends to me. simply not my thang. their platonic bond is sickening#but I cannot stop you doing whatever you want forever so. do whatever you want forever#I need to draw emmet seizing again
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She’s gonna be a star!
#golden kamuy#ienaga kano#I finnnnallllly got around to watching this movie and naturally. two characters that speak to me#I wasn’t gonna post cuz it looked a little samey to something else I drew but fuck it whatever.#I can do anything I want forever#can anyone guess who my favorite gk character is.
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#salamence#THIS one is a good one. someone else mentioned the chin and claimed they look like lord farquaad. and would say “why YES this is Divine” and#i didn't like how accurate that was. anyway dragon/flying 4x weakness to ice my belovèd. if anyone says ice is bad#keep in mind how much of the competitive landscape it totally nullifies. ice is like. probably my second favorite type. behind electric#even though none of this is about salamence. they've got the whole primary colors thing going on but minus yellow#red and blue. red white and blue. american pokémon? big red wings that're just Flat. i really dunno what's happening here i just know it's#supposed to be really good in competitive. and also they got a paradox form which i Guess TPC is trying to market as totally new unrelated#pokémon but i'm always going to call them “paradox hariyama” and such instead of ~iron hands~ or whatever they're supposed to be called#don't want my pokémon names to have two words in them……
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The Sheep in Wolf's Clothing Onia Dhithos - -
"I will pull at my horns and bruise my flesh until I am born anew, my chest is too warm, I spew warm honey where I want muck. tar. I want to bear the teeth that my father and mother bore. These teeth are not sufficient. I want a bite, and I want it to be more than my words. I want to bite. I want to be the Wolf."
- -
[ Alt. ver. under the cut ] B/As
#TheWolf:OniaD*#Sheep:OniaD#ts4#ts4 render#ts4 simblr#sims 4#sims 4 simblr#sims 4 render#simblr#render#blender render#idk i forgot how this whole tagging system thing works with original content LMFKDSJH its been a hot minute#uhhhhmmmmm yea eat up i guess. Onia Dhithos introduction. Ive been wanting to introduce her for a longgg time but#never had a render idea for her (or at least I did but it never looked good shdghs)#also if u cant tell (prolly cant) shes literally bent backwards upside down in the first/last pose AHGSHA so yea shes in a freak ass pose r#Onia is def one of my favs but is criminally underrated/not talked abt enough (which is my fault LMFAOOO)#welp time to go back into creative hibernation for the next *checks watch* foreseeable future#I WAS gna try and do something else but google drive fucking hates me >:T#this is def gna flop but whatevs SJHGDHSJ its kinda cringe and simple anyways but i. love Onia. so its worth it. ig? 😭
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11 pm again and i spent my evening trying to draw but ending up deleting like 5 attempts again and i just want to cry
cant even get upset anymore, i just sit here looking at the wasted time and just kinda going 'yeah ... what did i expect' and the tears are already back :I
#ganondoodles talks#im tired of disappointing everyone#whatever high i once rode from all the zelda fanart i have done has long ran out#i feel like im trying to drive without tires for the past half a year#theres so much in my head but its just stuck there#everytime i think about something cool i know i cant just talk about it bc no one cares about yet another shitty text post#i need art to back my rambling up#and i WANT to have art to back it up not just bc more will care#but bc i want it to be there as art#im sorry these complaint posts keep happening instead of anything good#im on a losing streak record against myself#im also tired as fuck making these posts#i know the only thing it does is annoy people#i just cant keep it all to myself and nothing else is working#even when i think i did soemthing away from the pc or completely offline#as soon as i return- even if im really motivated- it only lasts for like .. one attempt#and im back at the bottom#trying every bit of tricks and advice i can find and it all ends the same#... i guess making these posts doesnt matter anyway- with twitters and my downfall im sure i lost like the majority of goodwill#not even trying to be all sorry for myself#wish i could throw away my brain
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