#what. how does that make ANY sense
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fucking love when my stepmom takes away my phone so i don’t “talk to my friends” like what. what is the fucking logic behind that???
#reze stfu#LIKE!!#i can understand if she wanted me to focus or not be distracted but#why. why is her reasoning so i don't talk to my friends#what. how does that make ANY sense#idk i don't want to sound lke a brat but?? i don't??? think isolating me is going to help??????#hm. i guess that's just shit i had to deal with here. on top of her being homophobic and my dad being an asshole... :/ yay#god i cannot WAIT to get back to my mom's#tw vent
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Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.
"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."
translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"
It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!
very this
#red said#it's just. I'm obsessed.#everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong#this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT#because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION#i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this?#why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered#but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances#then she left and nothing else occurred'#if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING#i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened#because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all.#a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman#b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening#c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that?#you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much#it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'
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Ah, childhood memories (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Gaster#Having such clear external-view memories of what happened when they were young would probably give Sans a lot of ammunition lol#Not that they'd know any different - their poor memories honestly :( - but having such clear memories in places would have to be weird#Most people have childhood amnesia to an extent! Tho it's hard to say when that would've applied to them anyway with their sped-up growth#Not to mention the trauma#And it's possible that doesn't apply to Monsters to begin with lol - but it's all a moot point anyway since these are their only memories!#It's sad to think of how much of themselves are missing forever since Gaster didn't experience them :(#This is what happens when you get behind on your work >:0#I really wonder what their lack of memories/restoration of memories would do for their like/dislike of certain things!#Like how Papyrus says that sitting with Sans in his lap makes a lot of sense as to why it was so familiar and comforting#But also that knowing makes it sad as well :( Knowing recolours their understanding and interpretation!#Knowing Why makes things make sense but does it actually Help? It's a tough question - certainly it hurts in the moment#The little things Gaster has infected for them and for himself ♥ Like taking notes! Like chess and sweets and spaghetti and lab coats#And dark sweaters and cigarette smoke and hugs and intelligence - how many pieces of all of them have A Feeling attached#How many more have A Memory - and even more than that A Memory Lost and unrecoverable ughhh ♥#But the little things they can hold on to hehe <3 Like pinging Gaster for what they all know and remember#Why does he even keep coming over if he knows the reception he'll get? Lol#Feels particularly self-loathing and goes to get bullied as penance pfft
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Charles' thing is that he wants to feel alive and that's part of the reason why he decided to never move on to the afterlife right? Meanwhile Edwin thinks Charles will move on and that he'll be alone again because 'he isn't good with people'.
But then when the Night Nurse shows up a second time Charles is ready to go wherever -including Hell- as long as Edwin shouldn't have to go back there, meanwhile Edwin refuses that they be split up, and both are okay with being sent together to the Lost and Found Department to be sorted out later as long as they're together-
#does this make sense#like#charles -> stay on earth#then charles is like -> fuck earth edwin n°1#edwin -> stay out of hell and wander alone ig#then edwin -> stay with charles#although you can argue that charles wanted to stick around the one dude that was nice to him since the start but like#idk how to explain it#he'd rather argue for edwin's case than argue to stay on earth#edwin not going back to hell is his main goal in the discussion#meanwhile edwin's goal is that they stay together + that he doesn't go back to hell#i do wonder what it would've looked like if they'd gone to the lost and found department#do they try to escape it#does charles find out where he was headed#anyways another day of being very normal about this show#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#paynland#payneland#i know that charles' whole motivation isn't just that he wishes he were still alive and that he wish he hadn't had his life stolen from him#but my thoughts are not coherent enough for any type of deep character analysis essay and i would probably mischaracterize him horribly#wonder what was edwin's plan when he came out of hell cuz he went back to his highschool so was he just doing a bit of visiting#“oh hello place where i died”
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Modern AU where Feyre and Rhys are next door neighbors. He's a good neighbor, too—takes out her trash bins for her, mows her front lawn whenever he cuts his own, shovels her drive in the winter, etc.
Except Rhys is secretly a crime boss. And when Feyre starts dating Tamlin, she's doesn't realize he's an undercover cop just trying to keep an eye on her friendly neighbor.
#She's oblivious to it all#Senses the strange tension but thinks Tamlin's just weird about making friends#Doesn't question how quickly things move between herself and Tamlin either — but Rhys sure does#I know I don't need to start any new projects but what if - [GUN SHOTS]#feysand
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Was thinking about how much of a normo I come across as irl, how I’ve felt a lil odd person out at their shows bc of being a bit older (29) and looking so aggressively normal, how generally confused people in my life would be if they knew about my d&p obsession, how thoroughly i mask weirder traits and essentially codeswitch to suit the mainstream, etc.
i feel kind of fish out of water when I imagine how all the people that populate my tumblr phandom ecosystem are likely presenting to the world irl (I.e. more visibly queer, counterculture, and so on). But then I think maybe the most visible phannies are the ones with the most curated, alt, deliberate daytoday lewks/style? So maybe what I’m picturing is off base? But then I’m also basing this off of what audiences look like in audience footage, m&gs, etc.
Sooooooo i would like to know… do you guys feel like you present as someone who may be Deeply Online and obsessed with two gay nerds from the internet? Or do you hide it and fly under the radar, masking as a total normy and living a double life?
(To clarify I don’t mean you’re like out and about wearing the fringes boob sweatshirt lol I more mean vibes and overall lewk yk?)
#does this make any sense?#not to say we’re all abnormal freaks over here but also…. we lowkey are freaks lol#like this is not typical behavior#obvs when I say dressing alt and counterculture I’m aware phannies aren’t like a predominantly goth community or some extreme aesthetic#or what have you#I just mean that this is obviously not a super mainstream interest nor are they mainstream creators anymore#(arguably they never were. they were big but not mainstream. I think people entrenched in internet#and YouTube and phandom can become a bit tunnelvisioned and#and forget that even at their peak Dan and Phil were still#a niche interest and an unconventional one#but i digress)#basically I’m trying to figure out how many of us are also living double lives on here#I hope no one comes for my over this or it doesn’t get misconstrued#I just have like SUCH a normal job and so many people I know would be DEEPLY confused if they learned about this whole thing#and obviously there isn’t a clear binary of like normal vs. internet dwelling weirdo#and that we contain multitudes#and all things can be true simultaneously#I know I know I know you know that I know right?? but you also know what I mean right??#me yapping#dan and phil#phan
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was thinking about takeshi and how he's my favorite brand of unconditional devotion btw. the utter and absolute and all-consuming kind that runs so deep to the very core and is so intrinsic and fundamental to it, it can only express itself in the most casual and natural and certain way. without second thoughts, without any room for doubts or for any moral dilemma to be had over it, because of course he ought to always be breathing and living for his chosen person first and foremost. of course he ought to hang on their every word and make them true no matter what, no matter what he has to do to make it happen, no matter what he has to do to other people to make it happen, and no matter what it might turn him into in the process. because it's obviously the way the world should be for his chosen person. at their feet, ready to bend over backwards and break and build itself again to better answer to all their needs even if they don't ask it for it. it's the only right way it should be for them, and of course takeshi's going to do his utmost at all times to make it a reality as much as possible.
and his devotion comes out as naturally as breathing, comes out lighthearted and nonchalant like he might as well be talking about the weather, but it's not unaware of itself. it's not that takeshi doesn't know it's unhealthy and wrong and that he's willing to go entirely too far in its name for anyone's good. it's not that he wouldn't hear you out if you were to sit him down and explain to him just why he needs to tone it down a little (a lot). logically, he'd agree with you and know you're right. and then he'd tell you he's still not going to do anything whatsoever about it. that he's not bothered by it and doesn't feel the need to change anything to his attitude. makes it a point to never let anyone or anything sway him even an inch in the stand he took when it comes to that, no matter how many thousand of times you might go over the subject with him.
because the morality of his devotion isn't the point at all. is entirely irrelevant to it and doesn't affect the way he expresses it all. it's not the metric with which he draws a line in the sand to hold it accountable to. because the thing is, takeshi's entire world revolves around tsuna--tsuna is his entire world altogether, and it's just a matter of fact, that simple. to him it's a truth as unchanging as the sky being blue, and so being the way he is according to that truth is the only way he can imagine being that'd feel right to him. and so the actual and only metric that matters here is "would tsuna be happier if i were to do this?" and/or "is this something tsuna needs me to do?"
and like. i don't think takeshi ever stops being a kind person capable of compassion and understanding and mercy and forgiveness even ten years later once they became mafia through and through. and i don't think either he grows up to be feared and called a monster per se despite the things they inevitably had to do during those ten years (and the things they'll inevitably keep having to do as long as they keep being mafia), at least not in the way, for example, they'll never stop fearing and calling mukuro one. but i do think that among the tenth gen, he ends up being the one with the most ruthless, merciless and horrific blood on his hands of that particular and distinct loving kind. you know the one i mean, right? he comes to be the one most expected and the one first expected to be willing and to take it upon himself to go through with it when the need arises. and to think little of it after, if anything at all. all in the name of making tsuna's reign as easy on him as possible.
and it's to the point where it's the kind of blood that makes even mukuro pause at times. or, when takeshi is the one coming up with solutions himself during meetings, makes even reborn blink. not because it's unjustified or wouldn't be safe or efficient or anything of the sort, but because it is unwarrantedly thorough in its retaliation. and sometimes, at times like this, he's the one tsuna needs to step in for the most, because he's the only one who can reason with him that "yes, this would work in getting rid of our problem" but "no, please, don't do that takeshi". because if tsuna is the only thing that infers on just how much and in what ways he'll let himself be devoted to him, then of course, he's also the only one takeshi's willing to reign himself in for without second thoughts. because he'd hate to ever do something tsuna would disapprove of or wouldn't want him to do. or do something that'd make tsuna see him differently or love him back less even in the slightest.
and it's also like. his devotion isn't an undisciplined one. it's not one he doesn't have control over, the very opposite. it's a very purposeful and conscious choice he chooses to keep making over and over again every step of the way, and he taught himself to have control over it, to know when it's needed and/or wanted, and how much and in which ways it is when it happens, and to keep it down otherwise. and, yes, to also reign it back in at tsuna's request at times when it still slips past his control. because it's all about making tsuna's happiness easier and secure and long-lasting, and never about burdening him with just how committed he is to do that.
so it comes down to this: takeshi willing to go above and beyond and more for tsuna unless tsuna explicitly asks him not to. and to tsuna needing to ask him not to every now and then. and to other people pointing out to him how too many times tsuna's already needed to stop him, and that maybe there's a hint for him to take there. and to takeshi seeing the hint, looking it straight in the eye and recognizing it for what it is and just. deciding it doesn't apply to him because it's all perfectly normal behavior to him. because it's the only kind of behavior that makes sense to him and feels right.
and so—to circle back to my first point—he can only express his devotion as naturally as breathing, so casually, almost like it's something inconsequential and not worth talking about despite how unmistakably it couldn't be further away from being the truth. it's the only way he could have always known how to express it, because, after all, who has ever taken time to ponder about the details and the hows of the way they breathe?
and i, for one, absolutely eat that shit up every time, thanks for coming to my ted talk <3
#katekyo hitman reborn#khr#khr meta#can i even call this one?? well i'm going to anyway lol#yamamoto takeshi#sawada tsunayoshi#i've never been normal about devotion in stories and characters and won't ever be so sorry if this doesn't make sense#also this is not to say the 10th gen loves tsuna any less unconditionally this isn't a competition#it's just me saying the particularities and specificities of the way takeshi specifically does it appeal to me the most#which is one of the reasons why i have such a big soft spot for 8027#and it's not a problem in their relationship either btw that's also not what i'm saying#like tsuna doesn't mind it and absolutely /does/ reciprocate it 100%#he's just careful to keep an eye out so none of them will lose themselves along the way#also this is within the context of me shifting canon slightly to the left in the way where the 10th gen loves tsuna /so much/#they could just as well actually and properly worship him as a god and it still wouldn't make a single difference#and me liking to lean into that fully and taking it to extremes and it inevitably becoming some extent of dark#because considering the environment canon makes them express it (the mafia) it's like. well how else are they meant to keep it alive#and make sure it survives through it without giving it sharp teeth and claws and jagged edges of its own you know?#so if you feel like this is some kind of ooc-ness you're not wrong#but also consider: i'm not wrong either <3#anyway consider also: unconditional devotion running /so/ deep down to your marrow and to your very essence#even in the face of the whole world telling you how wrong it is and how insane and unhinged you are for it and condemning you for it#it still wouldn't so much as make you consider the thought they might have a point#and i genuinely EAT that shit up every time i love to see it <3
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i downloaded that app that lets you customize your own soundscapes because i was like well this probably still won't be for me but i'll try it out just to see. first i set up a cafe with loud babble so i could eavesdrop on the table next to me, but there was only about 2 minutes of recorded audio. so once i memorized the conversation, i moved on to an irish coastal seascape, where i discovered that you can set the sliders to "drowning in the open ocean." that legitimately relaxed me so much that my headache went away but after about 20 minutes my brain adapted enough for the Voices (TM) to return, so i turned to a thunderstorm where all the thunder sliders were turned up to 100% power. so you feel like you're in the middle of bullshit tornado country. after all this i discovered there's a haunted mansion soundscape already so. i guess i'll get some mileage out of this thing yeah.
#app is myNoise. not a sponsored post i just figure someone will ask.#i don't know how to make any of the other soundscapes on there have enough peril to put me to sleep but we'll see.#context for ppl who havent been following me forever: guided meditations reassurances and peaceful soundscapes Freak Me The Fuck Out#conversely horror/danger makes my brain go 'oh that's what i'm sensing. this fake sound. we're in no real danger. goodnight 💕'#is this backwards for most people. yes. does it work for me. unequivocallyyy
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deeply refreshing to see someone critical of Swift who also like, genuinely likes her. Like i'm neutral to positive on her, but the online discourse has been absolutely rancid. flipping between "Taylor Swift has never done anything wrong ever and she's a fucking genius" and "Taylor Swift is the worst lyricist of all time and also a bad person" is exhausting, so thank you for like. nuance or something lmao
not to make it serious for a sec but i genuinely think that being able to like things that are bad is really important. like I think that it's an important skill to be able to look at something and see what you personally enjoy about it and then take a step back and acknowledge that objectively it's flawed. and to also be able to acknowledge that liking something isn't necessarily an identity or a moral stance. and i think that fandom space in general could really benefit from more people taking the time to learn how to do that. it's okay to like things that are bad
#people ask me sometimes why ill occasionally talk about something i like and then go 'but it's bad' and the answer is usually because it is#i love teen wolf. i love genshin impact. i love detective conan. and i fucking LOVE taylor swift. that doesnt mean theyre good#it just means i like them. and recognizing their flaws actually helps me better identify what i like about them!#it's like. in my mind bad > good is the x axis and i like it > i dont like it is the y axis yk. they're not mutually exclusive#tldr it's not that serious. we can all relax a little#irt taylor swift i do also think she has done some real harm to her fans in enabling them to deflect all criticism of her as misogyny#and i don't think it's fully the fault of these people who are parroting that response bc so much of her marketing has deliberately#reinforced this idea that to be a swiftie is to be a part of a sisterhood and that any attack on taylor is an attack on all of those women#who are in that in-group. when that's obviously not the case. but she's marketed herself as. for lack of a better term. 'girl music'#to the point where it makes her fans feel as though any criticism of the music or the woman responsible for it is an attack on their#personal experience of womanhood/girlhood/sisterhood/etc. and that's how you get all of thess bad-faith accusations of misogyny#i don't necessarily think this was her deliberate goal with her marketing tho because like. on first glance such a strong sense of communit#among fans sounds like a great thing. the friendship bracelets i got at the eras tour movie are really genuinely special to me.#but it does present a problem when your fans are unable to separate how they feel about the community and experience your music has fostere#from how they feel about you as a person. especially when you are a billionaire who absolutely CANNOT be above criticism in this economy#anyway. tldr i love taylor's music and i don't think swiftie hivemind is as deliberately malicious as it may seem#but it's obviously necessary to be able to take a step back and look objectively at what you're participating in.#anyway stream ttpd or don't idc <3#taylor swift
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Alright new Jason Todd headcanons in a dpxdc setting:
Danny is a "liminal" ghost, rather than a "half" ghost. He's alive and dead at the same time. (He's like Jesus Christ (in the church denomination I grew up in), fully ghost and fully human.) Danny, in human form, can go through a ghost shield, because he IS a living human.
Jason, however, is a reanimated corpse. He isn't a ghost, wouldn't have a ghost core, etc, he has a normal human system that runs ON ectoplasm. Jason CANNOT go through a ghost shield, because he is always an ectoplasmic entity. Danny can go through the Fenton Ghost Catcher and be split into a ghost and a human; if Jason went through the ghost catcher, he would straight up die.
(For my purposes I'm gonna say that Jason became an ectoplasmic entity upon his resurrection, but wasn't very stable. Dunking in the Lazarus pit stabilized his system but also poisoned his ectoplasm.)
I do think that Jason could learn certain ghost abilities if he learned to harness his ectoplasm, especially if they detoxed him off the Lazarus waters. He's probably already enhancing his stealth and strength in ways he hasn't really noticed. I think he's held back by the amount of physical matter he's lugging around, so maybe he couldn't fly, but I'm imagining temporary invisibility, or intagibility of like, a limb at a time. Maybe he can't walk through walls, but in a fight he can dodge by instinctively making the targeted part of his body intangible.
#i saw someone call jason a 'revenant' in a fanfic once and that is juicy as hell so I'm stealing that- that's what he is in this au#Jason's ectoplasm does react to other ectoplasmic entities so they can sense eachother#but for ghosts he's fucking weird because he doesn't have a core for them to resonate with or w/e#danny would probably think that he's another halfa/liminal at first but the more time they spend together the more that doesn't add up#so I know that I'm trying to give Jason ghost powers but honestly this whole thing is kind of a bum deal for him#he gets all of a ghost's weaknesses and barely any of the benefits#honestly I'm conceptualizing this as more of a disability than a superpower#discovering that youre less alive than you thought you were and you're technically just a walking talking corpse running on supernatural go#is fucked up and creepy and upsetting!#and it's something that he would have to come to terms with before he could start exploring what new opportunities it might give him#and i think that's really interesting#it's part of why I love messing with Jason in dpxdc stories so much#danny is fully ghost and fully human and he never feels like he fits in anywhere already#Jason is not quite human and not quite ghost so you can imagine how that would go for him#anyways i think they should be best friends and visit frostbite in the realms to make sure jason is healthy and also they should maybe kiss#and listen to the black parade together and talk about dying and stuff#danny fenton#jason todd#dp x dc#dpxdc#danny phantom#dc#batfam#my rambles#revenant jason todd
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I really did go through a phase where I thought I had to curate everything to fit a certain image aesthetic vibe etc……. Whenever I’d like something outside of the scope I set for myself I’d be confused because how does that fit into my lore?? But like it just does. My vibe is that I like what I like. My aesthetic is that I’m a girl who’s ever growing ever evolving ever changing. Not everything has to be cohesive or to make sense I really don’t understand why this is a big deal in my brain
#idk if this makes any sense to anyone but it makes sense to ME#sometimes my delusional ass really is like how does this fit but I’m not a jigsaw puzzle bitch#i just like what I like. it’s all good#p
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every time i remember how bendis completely destroyed the kon & clark bond i want to start biting and maiming. literally what is the point of it all!!!! just kill kon again im begging!! it'll be funny when the second time around comparatively nobody gives a shit fdklsjdjkd
#rimi talks#like. he has no real relationship with anyone in the current superfam except for kinda kenan#ma and pa remember him but that too makes NO fucking sense like does ma remember pa dying???#DID NEW KRYPTON EVEN HAPPEN.#'''''everything is in play''''' WHY IS PA KENT ALIVE THEN#i don't even know what rebirth kara's deal is like did she even wear kon's glasses.#he didn't exist. like#god every time i think about Everything about how bendis brought him back i just get a headache#it makes noooo sense if you put any actual thought into any of it#narrative that actively punishes you for trying to engage with it lmfao#BUT ANYWAYS. it would be funny. kill him again. this time no one even joins a cult about it#like literally what is he rn. just the kind of annoying third fiddle superfam member 💀 just kill him i want him deadddd
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wanna come over and put a gun to my head? sorry, typo, i meant do you wanna come over and put a gun to my head? i mean a gun to my head? shit sorry idk what's wrong with my phone. i'm trying to ask if you wanna come over and put a gun to my head? i mean
#anyone remember that HTHR post about how gunplay causes the same feeling in the sub no matter what the gun looks like?#how the gun can be the cheapest most tacky plastic toy and you will still feel fucked up about it being pressed to your forehead?#because i remember. i remember#and in fact i think gunplay would be sexier to me if the gun was obviously fake. that could even be part of the scene#once my dom has coerced me into doing something by threatening me with the gun she can point out how the gun obviously wouldn't have hurt m#i must have just wanted to play along anyway. i must have wanted her to force herself on me. does this make any sense#thoughts inc#trans nsft#gun tw
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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ill probably delete this in a minute but ive just been fuckin boggled by what ive seen across tumblr in the last few days in particular. its why i havent really been around. like holy fucking shit, its really like some of yall just dont want a chunk of the trans community to exist. like some of yall are thisclose to saying it verbatum. way too many already have. 'shut up sit down be quiet and smile for us' type shit, gee where have i heard that before. oh yeah my entire life cause i was forcefully gendered as someones daughter. shock horror i know. you might be surprised to remember and/or learn that very few trans folks know theyre trans before we're 5, or even 10, and that that gendered experience stays with all of us in both/either small or large ways. either bc we literally dont have a solid identity yet (bc we're very small children), dont have the words, we're repressing it out of fear from how others will treat us, we're actually enjoying or enjoyed being another gender in our childhood, or we just genuinely didnt fuckin know until shit lined up later in life. weird isnt it that transmascs dont pop out as 6'1 brick shithouse cis men when we're born so yall know for certain that we're confused lost girls/women oops i mean big dangerous scary men. its almost like we're transgender too. none of yall actually know what intersectionality is or means
#my t#transandrophobia#yeah ill tag it why tf not#i just dont understand why transmasculinity is scrutinized and dissected like this within the trans community#when its just not the case for other gendered trans folks amongst themselves more often than not these days#which is a good thing! a really really good thing! but why are we scapegoating transmascs#''we need more weird trans people!!'' yall cant even handle like. a pre-everything trans guy coming out for the first time#yall cant handle a pre-everything tguy wearing a tshirt without tearing him to shreds & calling him shit like afag/theyfab & ukelele boy#im tired of my identity being treated as a debate. i had enough of that in highschool as#very literally. **the only trans kid in my grade** surrounded by cis teachers & peers USING ME AND MY BODY AS A TALKING POINT#i was the only one who wasnt deeply closeted that is. and holy fuck do i still not blame anyone for being closeted in that school#why is it only okay to try to separate trans ppl from our gender when we're not fem/me#why is one celebrated and the other treated like radioactive waste **within our own community**#god i need to find an irl community fuckin badly online trans circles are hell on earth#ill be describing smth that happened to me as a clocky tguy and someone else will say TO MY FACE#that what happened to me wasnt bc i was a clocky guy but purely bc i was trans#like i. what. how. how does that make any kind of fucking sense#i wouldnt be clocky if i wasnt trying to look like my gender. like i. hello?#would u say that to any other trans person or am i just that special?
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Something I think is extremely interesting thematically when it comes to connecting what Downfall and the ideas it tackled to the overarching narrative of campaign three is that the things Downfall made a point to showcase of Aeor—Cassida, Hallis, the visual of an aeormaton proposing to her partner, the specific and intentional decision to shed light on a far from insignificant amount of the population being civilians or refugees—is that it plays in perfect parallel across from what is happening (and, really, has been happening) to the ruidusborn on Exandria in present.
Bear with me for a moment. Aeor is ultimately a city that was collectively punished for the decisions of its leadership. We could (and, judging by the amount of discourse around this particular topic already, probably will) argue about what the Gods’ motivation for all of this was—whether it be that they could not, in the end, bear to kill their siblings or that they were terrified at the prospect of mortality—for me it is a very healthy dose of both—but for this I am much more interested in the latter. They were scared. That, really, is the driving force behind both this arc and their role in c3 as a whole.
Why I point this out is: It is far more interesting to me, especially as we go back to Bells Hells this week, to dissect the Gods and their decisions not purely on sympathetic motivation alone but as beings in the highest seat of power in the highest social class in Exandria.
So, having established that the Gods (in relation to mortals) are more a higher social class than anything we could compare to our real life understanding of divinity and that Aeor was eviscerated largely because of their fear—what is the difference between those innocents in Aeor caught in the trappings of their autocratic government leadership and a divine war on the ground, and those of the ruidusborn being manipulated both by Ludinus and by the very thing that inspired such visceral fear in the Gods to start with. I would argue very little.
I think of Cassida, doing what she genuinely thought was right and good and would save people, her son, and the object of her worship—and how that did not matter enough to any of them to spare her because of the fear they held at the very concept of mortality. I think of Liliana and Imogen, one of which we know begged for the gods to help her or send her a sign for years on years, and how every single one of their largest struggles could have been avoided had the gods loved them, their supposed children, as much as they feared what they could be. I think of how the thing that did save Imogen, in the end, was a woman who herself existed in direct defiance of the gods will. I think of that young boy, sixteen years old, that Laudna exalted on Ruidus.
I think it’s completely fair to judge Aeor’s overall society as deeply corrupt—it was!—but its leadership and police force are not a reflection of every one of its citizens. Similarly, it is fair to judge the Ruby Vanguard as corrupt—it is!—but its multiple heads of leadership and even the god-eater further are not a reflection of every one of its members.
Notably, and what I think the Hells will latch onto, this did not matter to the Gods. It did not matter that Cassida was trying to help. She was still too much of a risk. Will it matter, what Imogen does? Will it matter, if that young boy is in the blast radius when they decide to take no further chances?
I’ve seen a lot of people say that the Hells will side with the gods and I don’t think I agree. Especially as Imogen has been scolded and villainized over and over for daring to try and save her mother—who herself has been seen by some as an irredeemable evil in spite of her drive being the exact same—her family—but when it’s the Gods it’s justified? When it’s the Gods, it’s sympathetic? Too sympathetic to criticize further than “they’re family”?
I obviously do not think the Gods should die or be eaten or what have you, and I certainly don’t agree with Ludinus (though I find him much more compelling than just a variation of hubris wizard), but when talking about the Gods in Aeor and in present it isn’t really at all about their motivation or their family. It can’t be. Too many people, including our active protagonists, lives have been effected for it to be as cut and dry as “they’re family”. These are your children. They are your family, too.
#critical role#cr meta#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#imogen temult#liliana temult#ludinus da'leth#does this make sense. I feel like i lost my initial thread somewhere around the middle bc my brain is currently spread very thin#but tldr: it is extremely interesting to me that the fall of aeor is such a perfect parallel to the ruidusborn#i could also go on endlessly ENDLESSLY about how cassida and liliana play the exact same role#and also i could go on even longer on what divinity as a concept even means in a world like exandria#and how trying to compare it to our real life understanding of divinity is a bit fruitless#on the basis that a person can become a god alone but also that they themselves undeniably exist#but its so good. it ties in so well. brennan did a fucking fantastic job at capturing the abject horror of it all#also aabria iyengar if you can hear me PLEASE bring deanna back i will send you fifty dollars#and also hello i very briefly said hello at the live show and wanted to tell you how incredible i think you are but alas#where did these tags go#anyway#WOAH this is long. I should’ve been writing fic. alas.#really I don't think any of the hells are gonna be able to just. gloss over the casualties of it all. but especially mog and ashton and lau#tal has even already said that downfall made some things better for ash and some things Worse so I know I'm not too far off#I have. many many thought on how laudna will see it all too.#truly think she is going to be the most vocally horrified
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