#what u described was so specific
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Mirage making a jab or remark to crypto or making an orphan joke and crypto visibly flinching, he didn't mean to of course, but he's heard his fair share of jokes, and or mirage making a joke to crypto/at cryptos expense that no one would ever want him because his parents didn't even want him, (while they're not on the same squad) and crypto snapping on him 👍
OH BOY OH BOY DO I HAVE A FIC FOR YOU (its mine) (please read it) (i mean only if you want to) (leave a kudos too) (but im not your mom)
#its not exactly like how u described#but its still mirage being an asshole with no filter#and yes he pays for it#im working on ch2 rn!#idk if usaw this yet but#what u described was so specific#and so like my fic#its crazy !!#asks ♡
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[ID: a digital redraw of the scene where chuuya shoots dazai in the shoulder. on the top of the drawing is chuuya holding a guy to dazai's head in the red and grey hallways of the prison. on the bottom of the drawing is dazai's pained face. the gunshot is shown stylistically as hectic lines behind his bloody shoulder. over the image is half a quote from goncharov that reads 'if we really were in love you wouldn't have missed.' the signature says dandelion-roots. end ID]
This quote from Goncharov (1973) in relation to soukoku has been haunting me from before I even got to that scene in the anime (the full thing is: Katya- Of course we're in love, that's why I tried to shoot you/ Goncharov- If we really were in love you wouldn't have missed). Violence as a tool for communicating emotions, especially love and hatred, especially love and hatred makes me go feral- how could I not think of the iconic quote that says that katya's miss was a sign of a lack of love/a fake love when chuuya didn't miss? Just... losing it over here.
#bsd#bsd s5#bungou stray dogs#soukoku#soukoku fanart#bungou stray dogs season 5#bsd spoilers#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#not to tell on myself but i just realized that i. used the wrong screenshot as ref JKDSKDJKDJ i have too many saved. its fine. u get it#just saying it in case anyone was confused#goncharov#also just to be clear if someone didnt understand the caption- i used the quote to be the opposite of what was happening#not to describe what was happening in the scene or to imply that chuuya later not killing dazai was him 'missing'#i get VERY specific imagery in my mind and i disregard everything else#and i do it in the way that would be incredibly confusing to most ppl at first glance. such is the world#im not wordy rn i cant fully describe my feral state after finishing bsd earlier today or this thing. hope u enjoy it anyway!#it was rly fun to do a screenshot redraw the bsd animation crew is so freaking talented and i got to see which colours they used where#i changed them bcs they wouldnt been too desaturated but lots of blues in the bg! colour theory babyyy#and got to play around w csp! fun fun been so long since ive done digital art
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good morning thinking about the way dream loves and how he describes his friendships in an almost romantic manner and how that is very special to me
i love how while he can make comparisons to "traditional dynamics", brother, father, etc. he also doesn't shy away from using descriptors that i think most would interpret as romantic.
i feel like most people would hear the phrases "more than a friend", "-you've been my partner ever since", "you have a place in my heart" and even dream consistently referring to sapnap and george as his "soulmates" would have someone assume it's about a significant other without context. dream using such romantic terms for his friendships is very special and almost inspirational to me in a way?
it just makes me think about how he views his own sexuality and even marriage, idk something about how it's not about the label or tradition or what is commonly accepted, but about the relationship itself, how you personally view it, and what it means to you is something that resonates a lot with me
+ <3
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#dreamwastaken#up loving dream those tweets are so so special to me#dare i say that dreams descriptor of his friendships has done more for me and accepting and shaping my own queerness than#every other cc who shouts about how much they care about queer people and how theyre such a good person™️and fights imaginary queerbaiters#and talks about running people over with a bus because one person described their sexuality in a way they did not agree with .#ALSO pls. to the hardcore shippers#this isnt me saying dnf arent dating or me trying to “theyre obviously just friends” them 😭😭😭😭😭#asdkjsa idk how to explain this#like im talking about this specific instance where dreams emphasis is on how much his relationship with friends mean to him#like the intent was not necessarily to imply a traditionally romantic view DO YOU GET WHAT I MEAN#ive rewritten this part like 50 times man i hope u get what im trying to say 💔#also this is like early 2022 okay PLEASE#i truly have no thoughts about that like actually head empty
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you know, i can handle a little bit of fun "Nandor is dumb" talk, but i have a net-zero tolerance for any implication that Nandor is not educated.
Nandor would have been incredibly educated in his lifetime.
even (or especially) as a soldier in the Islamic World. being a soldier was more like getting sent to boarding school that's also a military camp. they weren't just concerned with creating loyal fodder for war. they were building the next government officials, generals, accountants, advisors, etc. it was important that young men knew how to read, write, speak multiple languages, learn philosophy...sometimes even studying art and music was mandatory.
if he was nobility (and its most likely he was), take all that shit and multiply it exponentially. Nandor would have been reading Plato at the same age most people are still potty training. he would have been specifically groomed in such a way to not be just a brilliant strategist and warrior, but also diplomate and ambassador of literally the center of scientific and cultural excellence of the age.
so like yeah, he can be a big dummy sometimes, sure. but that bitch is probably more educated than any of us will ever be.
#wwdits#nandor the relentless#Nandor#what we do in the shadows#i think its obvious by how much Nandor loves to read that he grew up educated#it's one of my favorite character traits of his#anyways#this was just your local psa abt the depth of Nandor's character and intelligence#and how the medieval islamic world was like - so much more advanced than it's western counterpart it's hilarious how ppl mischaracterize it#(by hilarious i mean it makes me want to break something)#this was in my drafts lolol what did i read that made me vent this? idk#also 'islamic world' is just a term some historians use to describe a specific geographical location and historical age#kind of how 'western world' is used today#it doesn't mean it's specific to one religion or nation but the broader time and location#meaning that Al Qolindar or Persia or Ilkhanate or w/e you want to call where Nandor came from#the same expectations of education and it's vibrant social/cultural world remain an accurate image of the middle east in the medieval age#if you come from the west like me#think The Forum + The Library of Alexandria + Paris/Florence + and idk anything else u think of when u think of 'Western Excellence'#and then imagine of all of that in one place at one time and then u might get close to what the world Nandor was living in as a human
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I feel like we don't talk enough about how much Eiffel, despite his inconsiderate asshole tendencies, really is the heart and moral backbone of the crew...
(first 3 images are from the script for episode 44 Desperate Measures, then two from episode 46 Boléro, then one more from episode 44, then last one from episode 38 Happy Endings)
#these are only from 3 episodes! there's so many more instances of Douglas “team what's wrong with handcuffs” Eiffel#i love what an atypical male main character for a sci-fi action series Eiffel is#like his humor and work ethic may be pretty standard for a guy in sci-fi. but his staunch pacifism and value for human life certainly isn't#anyways please lemme know if u know any specific pacifist Eiffel moments that I missed#wolf 359 my beloved#wolf 359 podcast#wolf 359#w359#w359 podcast#wolf 359 spoilers#w359 spoilers#douglas eiffel#doug eiffel#communications officer eiffel#renee minkowski#commander minkowski#isabel lovelace#captain lovelace#alexander hilbert#dr hilbert#hera wolf 359#hera w359#heiffel#not really but like they do interact in some of these scenes soo#my posts#described#image description in alt#description in alt text
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sometimes people rb my posts and add a comment in the tags. and i just have to stare in horror. because im like "oh. oh no. dont spread this to people who agree with you because i do NOT."
but i dont wanna be rude :( so i just silently regret the post breaching containment
#btw before anyone worries#this is not about anyone reading this i can already promise u#this is about one very specific person#who has only interacted with my post ONCE#and had such an incorrect opinion i was startled#and the worst part is#they used what i had typed in the tags and just reworded it to like... what they considered correct#and i was so insulted#i am NOT associating with you#do not make it seem like i am#(for context#i had specifically described a character relation ship as friends/familial#and someone had rbed and they had just changed my word choice to make it seem like they were dating)#its fine whatever#all im saying is some dc fans need to learn how to not do that thing they do :]
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i KNOW 'said' isnt bad to use and i do use it plenty but im also king of very specific words to get my point across and basically. all the words for 'said meanly' are too quick. spat and bit and snapped are good but theres no good word for that kind of cruel drawl that u get when really mocking someone for what theyre worth. not enough words
#and before u try naurrrr. barked is too loud and also quick. nobody is yelling so that cancels out a bunch of options#mocked is fine but still doesnt have the right cadence i want and apparently leer doesnt mean what i thought it did#.... not enough words bro#there be some specific ass experiences in this world#and not enough words to describe them...
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ngl i've been dealing with burnout for nearly this entire year and the goddamn hurricane Did Not Help but by now it's shifted to this very weird flavor where i'm like constantly rotating drawing ideas & full fics i want to write in my brain & Really Wanting to work on them but then once i get as far as opening sai or google docs i just go "hm. dont wanna"
#trousled rants#i'm blaming my shitty freshman year of college idc. started so strong and then my second semester gave me 13 well-researched essays........#fun fact if any college freshmen are reading this & also still learning to navigate freshly-diagnosed disabilities um. dont do that#a lotta ppl can handle it fine but im a new media major bro im not built for that shit. i am getting a degree in shapes and colors#anyway this is mostly me explaining why i've been so inactive lol. obviously helene did A Number but i was already smoldering before that#i'll get back to ebony eventually.....i'll update napstabot eventually........i'll get back on the atbb refs grind eventually..............#i actually got as far as finishing both sf bros & moving onto stretch since i last worked on em. but i have to redo him bc i dont like ittt#the pose wasn't working w me and the small changes i made didnt give him as strong of a silhouette as i thought lol#there's also a oneshot idea i've had in my brain long enough to know exactly what words i want to use to describe certain specific details#i know precisely how it starts and how it ends and how i'll transition from one thing to another and how to make it all connect#and i have not written a single sentence 👍#blah blah u get it another update from my wambulance#at this point i'm just annoyed about it more than anything ngl#may things get So Much Easier in 2025. or god help me i will make it everyone else's problem
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what always makes me laugh when i read the horus heresy books so far (as well as previous blingels books) is when space marines interact with human characters, especially female ones
the writers endless need to point out how pretty and attractive they are but firmly putting their foot down and pointing out that at least an adeptus astartes would have to assume so for he is beyond such trivial things and must always think towards war
yet they also love pointing out how handsome fellow marines would be if not for their conversion to an astartes, though even with that they are describe handsome at time
#it's ridiculous and makes me laugh#writing big masculine macho characters beyond human emotion is turning around to these dudes just coming of#as repressed homosexuals#im sure it's never the writers intention and them being (probably possibly) cishet men might be blind#to the fact that often how they describe intense bonds and brotherhood between different marines#just reads as repressed homosexuality they cannot explore for they have little to no time to do so#busy preparing for war#and all#and their great control of their whole bodies n all I do think they just repress all the unimportant things#but! i also think it's a fun thing u can explore#the unfamiliar#the struggle with your own humanity.. something strange you aren't used to#may have only heard or read about and only what you may remember from your own youth#thinking abt dante in specific and how he's described as carrying his father's kindness and love with him#thinking about how blood angels grieve the loss of brothers. writing their names upon parchment in their own blood#these are not things I've seen explored so far and i doubt I'll stumble upon it#for in the end 40k is. a big grimdark war setting and space marines are fearless soldiers matching towards death first and foremost#And. final thought. cmon you've got transhuman super soldiers with elevated senses and being pumped full of super testosterone#you telling me they don't get a little horny. cmon#AND IF WE HAVE CHAPTERS WHO HAVE TIME TO PAINT AND SCULPT.#IM SURE THEY HAVE TIME TO EXPLORE EACH OTHERS BODIES#anyways warhammer is another victim of stuff that's supposer to be cool super hypermasculine that just circles back around to being#incredibly gay in my own homosexual eyes#I wonder if bara artists ever put their hands on 40k#rambling
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its kinda funny how many of my interests happen to be like. "vintage" i guess so for an outsider death note kinda rly seems to stand out as like. fiction i enjoy an regularly reblog posts abt. like i like a lotta other anime an manga an dn is like an anime staple but its not even in the same catagory as any other anime like my brain puts all my interests in little folders and death note is in the same folder as columbo and red dragon. impossible for me to consider one without considering the other
#this is kind of a silly observation actually given that my url is named after a COMPLETELY unrelated interest#but yea 👍i contain multitudes#i feel rly good abt how i describe my blog an interests in the little abt me page i made but i wonder sometimes if anyone looks at it#thats the price u pay for making it desktop only...#also im not sure if im using the term vintage right ive never been clear on that word#sometimes i worry id sound kinda pretentious saying im into “vintage” things#cuz i feel like im not like. a connoisseur of classic media or anything i jus happen to like a lotta old stuff#and saying “old hollywood” is too specific (i also like old radio and old foreign films) so vintage is better than just like. old#idk. what am i talking abt#charlie words
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me realizing that the slang term i’ve used to say ‘get scammed’ a) isn’t spelled that way & b) is actually a slur
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#stream#waterboarding myself#girl i-#if i wasn’t getting extremely fucking high immediately after this realization i would’ve felt worse but now i feel nothing period#like i’m D:#but i’m literally 👁️_👁️#i’ve used it so often i thought it was spelt w a FUCKING J SINCE I WAS LIKE 5#why did i think abt this bc ok ive started analyzing the slang i use bc i’ll use an adjective & im like i would’ve never fucking said that#in america#like plump & for what was this other 1 hold on#SHODDY ?#i mean i think i would’ve used that in the us but idk why google had ‘is shoddy british slang’ like no ?#soddy probably#oh then i was like ok wait why do u spell it Like That#Wait … WAIT ? OH MY GOD ? <- THE HORROR OF ME REALIZING I WASNT SPELLING IT CORRECTLY#& THEN HOW ITS ACTUALLY SPELT -> D:#-> then the wanderer wikipedia page like i was on a rabbit hole bc wander is like a sovereign like it’s a nationality i guess girl i dont#remember specifics i’m baked as fuck we’re broad stroking it#but then it ties to the romani people & then i went … oh the slur … OH THE STEROTYPES …. OH MY GOD MY SLANG ???????#i’m still like •_•#girl …#u were such an asshole accidentally for 25 years#remembering the time specifically in junior year ap us history & we had to make this stupid ww2 music video girl i don’t even know why idk#if it was even supposed to be abt ww2 but we were ww2 & we were told by our teacher we couldn’t shorten japanese that way bc that is a slur#& we were all like •_• •_• •_• •_• oh#bc it was the 4 of us in the group#& then i remember when kp found out this slur for chinese people is a slur bc apparently there’s a specific adjective they use to describe#people u Cannot Say Here Idk Abt India But Definitely Not Here & also he then found out what ‘slur’ means bc he didn’t know that word either#ALSKKSKLKSLKALLSLLAKSLALDKAKSSK oh my god that trip was a mess#i fucking hate scotland
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#ugh. i have such specific desires its impossible#like how am i supposed to find movies that r kinda pretentious and fucked up and sad with like layer upon layer of symbolism? like what is#that. just like best pretentious films???#or like i want music thats like. ugh how do i describe. like mostly instrumental but with people talking#so it sounds like youre listening to old home videos. its sad and nostalgic#or i dont even kno how to describe it#just listen to zammuto. my dog's eyes or it can feel so good#songs that make me wanna weep bc theyre like so. so like grounding? like there r good things in the world. value the simple things#these r the children who havent yet lost their sense of wonder. makes me so sad and happy#ugh. i should just rewatch sunshine#i just want media thats so gut wrenchingly tragic and so full to the brim of beauty#is that so much to ask? is it#idk. i feel ill. probably lack of sleep#if u have movie recs id love to hear them#unrelated
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pet peeves: drawing people yellow
#advanced sorry as a non artist who doesnt really understand all that lighting shit#but even with weird lighting:#you can make their skin tone different from the pale shown in canon without it being like lemon colored T_T_T_T_T_T#similarly it's so possible to draw darker skin tones without making them gray or all have the same undertone#also i swear if it's for the palette/color theory you can also make palettes and color well without making it... yellow#ramblings!#this has happened in both my fandoms (honestly more frequently than i like but whatever)#& it just annoys me sm lmfaoooofnjksdhgkj#partially blaming one very popular drawing tutorial abt how to draw easian (the tutorial said asian but its rlly just easian......) faces &#im sorry the faces look like lemons#it just................... annoys me#mfw get u a face that looks like 🟡#this has been in the queue for a really long time bc im . v on the fence abt posting like#i feel like half the time it's not on purpose but it also drives me up the wall also i feel like if people simply paid more attention it#wouldn't happen! well. anyways#whatever this is one of those insane rants that i just need to get out#this is what happens when i occasionally search tags it's just. (sees art) (sideeyes you) (moves on) . whatever lol#not genshin#to be clear this is abt easian coded/easian characters like if a char specifically is described as 'sallow skin' or smth#then it's whatever but it just makes me slightly go 'hmm' if nothing about the character indicates unhealthy skin coloration but u go: 🟡
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yt women thinking white feminism is interchangeable with liberal feminism is……laughable
#yes there is overlap#however white feminism is abt the very specific way white women interact with feminism#a term made by black and brown women to describe this phenomenon#so when yt women are like ‘don’t u mean liberal feminism 🤣’#i have to laugh#bc no#i mean what i said#death to white feminism
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a good portion of the mor.tal ko.mbat roster is asian therefore also poc!! please be wary.
#* 𝐾͟. 》 —⠀out of ‚#not a vague unless ur doing exactly what im going to describe#i have no one in mind when i write this. just a hypothetical person..who could also have the potential to exist#whether its you or someone else.#please be wary of casting and psds. i know a handful of characters are “ambigously asian enough” but their influences are very clear cut-#-in a lot of instances (ku.ai li.ang & ha.nzo)#and its not enough to chalk up lack of awareness to NRs lack of care.#is that the right saying??#which is also why i havent chosen a fc for kit.ana. the character itself has very clear japanese influences (weapons & name origin)#but also created to be the daughter of someone of chinese lineage. also a filipino and viet face model..just NR trying to#demonstrate how exotic <3 and unique <3 and other worldly <3 edenians are i guess.#u dont HAVE to choose a fc btw guys its definitely not something you have to do if u cant find a good fit..#in regards to psds though like...if ur going the realistic route of having that specific characters color-theme pop#make sure to not completely wash out the character and their skin?#b&w psds are tricky so i stay away but if thats ur thing just make sure the skin is a gray or neutral#also this isnt drama its just a warning. however if me talk bout this is uncomfortable..dont continue following me!#i do try and reach out personally if i see these problems but im not always online either#too busy living my dream shooting robots and reassuring my alien boyf that we CAN fuck without a manual in mas.s eff.ect
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>need to go through my loops before bed which can take hours
> need to cut my looping short because I need to sleep to wake up early tomorrow
>resume looping because I'm not done so I can't sleep
>need to sleep so try to stop looping
>okay time to sleep
>resume looping because I'm not done so I can't sleep
>need t
#not sure if looping is the accurate term but its what i call it because i get stuck repeating a behavior like an endless loop#right now is the classic “check your tumblr notifications now your twitter notifications now your tumblr notifications now your twitter noti#making this post in an attempt to break the loop so i can fucking sleep i have to be up in 7 hours#i might delete this later right now im just hiding in these notes#its definitely an ocd thing .but because i havent been treated for my ocd and researching can make it worse sometimes#i dont have the best words to describe my experience#its part of why i dont taln about it#talking about it can somrtimes make it a lot worse too ugh#the looping specifically im not 'supposed' to talk about so thats partly why i would delte this#i cant stay in these tags forever i gotta decide to post this Or Else#i will. put on bluey. and sleep.#i promise ill try atleast lol#if u read all this hi sorry
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