#so it sounds like youre listening to old home videos. its sad and nostalgic

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[perfectlyinadequate]

Hey, with regards to that anonymous questions post i would like to ask: do you have any favorite video games (and if so, what)? what is one of your fondest memories? and lastly, what is something that makes you feel particularly nostalgic? have a good night! (^^ゞ

Hmm my favorite video games, thats really tough

I've always been a fan of Pokémon and Paper Mario (I definitely hyperfixated on the TTYD remake) but I also have been enjoying Honkai Star Rail lately, always a fan of Minecraft, the Persona/Shin Megami series (I binged P3R to get the platinum on playstation) but also like, the Mother series, Golden Sun, theres a lot and its hard to pinpoint a single or even a small few games

One of my fondest memories. I don't know if its exactly a happy one given my circumstances at the time but back when I was living with my parents, I never had any real good times there and I have since cut them off and gone no-contact but some nights they would go to a friends and get drunk and high and I would be at the house by myself. I would grab my jacket, maybe mid October, and at around 9/10pm, I would walk down the road to the gas station and get a sugary half stale donut and sickenly sweet hot cocoa/french vanilla coffee and go across past the bait shop to the benches by the lake and just listen to Marcy Playground (the band I was focusing on those few weeks lol) and relax and it would be quiet, just a tad chilly and super peaceful. There would be geese sleeping nearby or walking around and no boats on the water that late so the only real sound was the dam a bit down by the bridge. Id sit there for like an hour because I didnt want to go back home. In retrospect it sounds very sad but it made the peace of that moment that much more enjoyable and it was so good to be away from everything when the world was asleep and just breathe and think at my own pace.

Something that makes me feel nostalgic? Marcy playground lol but also just old books and games I used to play. Old movies I watched a lot when I was younger, nothing super specific, I dont get that nostalgic over some things anymore

Thank you for the ask!!

[sunqyu]

~ Treasure realizing they love you and the first time they say it pt 1.

Request 1: “ hmm im all in cute feelings, so FIRST I LOVE YOUS with treasure reaction thingy, would be super sweet 🙊💗🌼🌼 “ - anon

Request 2: “ i love your writing! treasure realizing theyre in love with their s/o🥺 “ - anon

These requests are both so adorable and fitting so I decided to combine them. Hope you enjoooy. Also, buckle up ‘cause ITS A LONG ONE AGAIN. Got carried away as usual so it’ll be in two parts. K BYE <3 - Nova

Hyunsuk

realizing it

it doesn’t take much to make Hyunsuk like you

but to actually fall in love with you

that’s a different story

he’s alone at the studio, trying to get his verse right

every time he fixes something he didn’t like, he notices something else

he’s sat at his desk, elbows next to the keyboard

head hanging down with his fingers tangled in his hair

a sharp inhale

a shaky exhale

then his phone lights up, a message from you, asking if he’s home yet and how his day went

2.30am, he reads

he starts typing, frantically, on and on as the chaos in his head makes it’s way onto his phonescreen

only for him to stop and delete it all because he knows what he really wants to send you

but it’s too late and he doesn’t want to be a burden, you need your sleep too

when he looks up and sees his own reflection in the, now dimly lit, screen of his computer

another sharp inhale

‘Not so great to be honest, can I come to your place?’ sent.

on the way to your house he’s still thinking about turning back

but all those thoughts are long gone the moment you open the door

your eyes beaming at him, messy bun wiggling side to side and you’re wrapped up in a blanket

his heart melts as he feels the tightness in his temples and neck from the stress subside

‘Hi- I missed you.’

you probably didn’t notice but he almost said something else

he snickers to himself, that would’ve been a bit early

saying it

definitely the type to say it without realizing what he’s saying

you two are getting groceries

which, even though it’s not a special thing, is always so much fun

this time you ended up playing hide and seek

it wasn’t really discussed, you just lost Hyunsuk at one point and decided to turn it into a game instead of calling him

which means it’s your turn now

it had been over 20 minutes and he was getting worried

very impressed with your skills

but worried

in the end he decided to call you

to his surprise he hears your ringtone behind him

he turns around

the ringtone is still behind him

he turns around

what the-

he turns around but really fast this time

his eyes meet yours a second before you start dying from laughter

‘How long where you doing that for-?’ he laughed in self-pity and disbelieve

when he finds out you never left he sighs

‘Ugh- I love you.’ he mutters inbetween chuckling

for a second he freezes, a thousand things running through his mind

but y’know what? fuck it.

‘Yea- it’s true. I love you.’

Jihoon

realizing it

also seems like someone who does not fall in love quickly

mostly because he’s not looking for it, he doesn’t feel the need to be in love to be happy

but once he does

oh boy

so when you came in his life he wasn’t thinking about a potential relationship

or wondering if you two would be compatible

he simply enjoyed your presence and you two got closer as friends

because of this the moment he realizes he has feelings for you will be overwhelming for him

wasn’t ready

you weren’t even doing anything different than usual

just eating in the yg cafetaria, both rambling about things

subjects that made people walking by look up because they didn’t get the full story

out of nowhere he fell hard

the mechanism that’s supposed to be his brain malfunctioning

croissant in mid-air

it all just made sense

the reason why he could never be sad around you

the reason that made your eyes twinkle more than anyone elses

the reason you saying his name sounds different than when anyone else says it

the reason he’s now sitting with his mouth wide open staring at you without really looking at you

‘Y-yea, I was listening. Ofcourse I was.’

saying it

probably says it on a special occasion

not planned or anything

it just seemed fitting in that moment

he realized before you two were even dating so it’s not like there’s any doubt left

still, expressing it feels like a very big step

it was quite a warm autumn evening

you were sitting on the floor at the salon table

filled with food from different places

‘I’m so proud of us.’ he beamed

you had just finished a very important essay which is going to be a great advantage when looking for an internship

he had just ended filming their third music video

‘I wish I could show you, you’re gonna love it.’ he mumbled before grabbing another bite

it looked like a feast but takeout-style

you continue eating, enjoying each others company

all the windows were open because of the nice weather

a soft breeze would ruffle the curtains

the subtle sound mixing well with the music

Jihoon had looked for just the right playlist for almost half an hour

and it couldn’t have been more perfect

the warm light of the candles was accompanied by a desklight

you got it out of your room because the ceiling light wasn’t cozy but the candles weren’t enough to see each other’s face (or the food)

the topic slowly drifts to more nostalgic memories

dates to the beach, your weekend in Japan, meeting his friends

‘You know what’s funny? out of all of those memories the one that is most special to me was a really simple one.’ something in his expression changed and you sat calmly, waiting for him to continue

‘It was a few days before I asked you out on our first date. We were at yg, eating something.’ he grabbed another bite of food, chuckling at your impatient response

‘I don’t know what it was but out of nowhere I realized I was in love with you.’ the words came out while he looked at his plate, looking up only a second before he continued

‘I still do. I love you-, even more each day.’

Yoshi

realizing it

there’s not really a specific moment where it hit him

his love for you grew gradually

which is exactly how he liked it

from the moment he met you he was never nervous around you

he never felt like he wasn’t good enough or like he had to try harder

everything made sense from day one

there would be moments where is heart could burst from it

like the time you tried to fix his broken jeans with a youtube tutorial

or when you first fell asleep on his chest

the worst was when he couldn’t see you for a few days

as if the love in him grew and grew but he couldn’t give it to you

he just felt like he was going to explode sometimes

the other boys would notice very easily

‘I know it’s only a few days, you guys are right.’

his mind didn’t listen to his own words

‘I’m fine- I promise.’

but if it’s a few more hours he might not be

he would go to bed quite early these days

after he noticed that trying to distract himself wasn’t working

he’d scroll through photo’s you took together

and photo’s he took of you

he’d sent you another text, hoping your phone was off so he wouldn’t wake you up

a strange mix of happiness and sadness

luckily once he realizes his sadness is temporary and it only shows how special you are to him he’ll be able to focus on the happiness

thinking about all the memories you’ve made and will make in the future as he slowly drifts to sleep

saying it

finally

finally he was going to see you again

it was only like three days but boy was he DEPRIVED

he was the first done packing

the first in the car

the first to run into the dorm and put his bag away

aaaand the first to run out the door again

you two had been texting all day about movies to watch and all the stories he wanted to tell

his knee bumped up and down in the bus

he couldn’t remember the last time he was this hyped

only three more stops

he gazed out the window chuckling at himself

who would’ve thought someone could make him feel like this?

his hand clutched on to the souvenir he got you

two more stops

an old couple got in

yoshi always had a weakness for happy old couple

but now especially

he smiled politely at them

admiring how in love they looked

that would be you in the future, he thought to himself

one more stop

his smile was still on his face

recognizing restaurants you two went to

clothing stores where you complimented his style

and then

the bus stop

it’s the one where you two met

he still can’t believe he managed to strike up a conversation with you that day

but it must’ve been meant to be

he looked around frantically as soon as his foot hit the sidewalk

the sound of your shoes on the floor came closer

he turned to face the sound and before he could even see your face he was holding you in his arms again

tightly as if to tell the world you were his

a deep sigh left his mouth before he mumbled into your hair

‘I love you- I missed you so much. I’m so happy to see you.’

Junkyu

realizing it

‘stop being weird-’ ‘says who?’

you and Junkyu were laying on his bed

both with your limbs spread out, staring at the ceiling

you weren’t sure how long you’d been there

he hummed along to the song you just put on

before being interrupted by the sound of his own stomach

‘Oh wow- sounds like it’s time for lunch.’ 

you nodded in agreement as you grabbed your phone

he started thinking about what to get, watching you tap away on your phone

your hair was laying in a circle around your head

a shadow from the ceilinglight behind your phone over your eyes

he noticed how you pupils dilated as they adjusted to the light everytime your moved your phone a bit

your eyes are cool af, woah

he turned to his side, still looking at your features while you scrolled on your phone

the song changed and this time it was you humming along

your voice is so nice, he thought to himself

his dreamy moment was interrupted by you looking at him

oh right- food

‘Uh- I want uh-..’

to his surprise you tell him you already ordered

‘What- what about me?’

you listed the things you ordered for him, saying how you definitely knew what he wanted by now

he was shocked

if you aren’t the SWEETEST MOST THOUGHTFUL HUMAN BEING

then he wouldn’t know who is

his dreamy moment continued, even though you were staring right back this time, confused

he never felt like this before

like he wants to fast-forward and sit in a rocking chair with you, grumbling about youth

wait

fuck

this is love isn’t it?

saying it

he promised

he promised he wasn’t going to fall asleep during the movie

but look at him now

soft deep breathing, lips slightly parted as he was laying against you

even though you didn’t want to wake him up you had already seen this movie with friends and the remote was all the way on the table

you reached forward in slow motion

slowly

sloooooowly

Junkyu moved, rubbing his cheek against your shoulder before mumbling under his breath and laying still again

that was close

the journey continues

slooooooooooowly

you were only 10cm away from reaching the remote

‘N-no hh.. stay h- ple ase.’

a dilemma

lean forward a bit more or sit back and just let the man sleep?

bit more

sloooooooooooooooowly

your fingertips grazed the remote and it wobble side to side

‘Babe?-’ that definitely sounded more awake then earlier

but when you look at him you see he’s definitely not fully awake yet

‘Come back to beeed-’ he whined

bed? boy, we’re on the couch

you didn’t mention it and instead quickly grabbed the remote before you sat back down a little faster

‘Th-nk yo-’ he held you tighter

‘Love you-’

wait what?

Mashiho

realizing it

seems like a hopeless romantic to me

so might realize quite fast

this man has been fantasizing and imagining his future love life for so long

not to the point where he’s yanking flowers apart to find out if you love him or not

but he sees the beauty in so many things

enjoys the warmth of the sun on his skin

likes to watch people going about their day and thinking what their life is like

leaves sweet notes on receipts for hardworking employees to find when they come clean his table

little things but a lot of things

he has an eye for beauty and knows exactly how to use it for his own happiness

so he quickly noticed how happy you made him

it was again, the little things

but so so many

how your pinky finger was always a little higher than the rest when your hands were relaxed

how the cute baby hairs on the back of your neck would always leave your ponytail within minutes of putting your hair up

how your foot would bounce up and down when you sat with your legs crossed, even if there was no music

how every time you called him cute he had to keep himself from calling you cute because he knew you’d hide your face in your hands right after

the way you sat against the mirror when you came to watch him practice

sleeves of his sweater to long for your arms as you clapped after each song

loving you wasn’t something that happens at one point

it’s built within him since the moment you met

it just grows and grows as you take care of it with your cuteness and love

saying it

so much snow

everywhere

the snowflakes were most visible under the light of the streetlanterns

appearing and disappearing as they went back into the dark nightsky

the crisp sound from under your shoes was relaxing

you and Mashiho had a snowballfight after finishing about 20 snowangels each

it had gotten dark before you knew it so now you were walking home

his arm around your shoulder, rubbing softly to keep you warm

you felt the cold water through your gloves but sharing bodyheat was all you needed

both of you had soft smiles on your faces, walking in content silence

and you were also just EXHAUSTED so the quiet evening was a nice change

in some of the houses you walked by you could already see christmaslights and trees

he noticed you looking

‘Lets get our own decorations soon.’ 

you nodded happily, leaning against him a little more

this was going to be your first christmas together

you never expected to celebrate it with someone this year

the idea of setting up a tree together and the coziness it would bring made him feel warm inside

you discussed fun things you could do for christmas

ways to surprise the boys or what you wanted to eat

he listened to you talk about memories and future plans

when he noticed how clearly he was already involved in those future plans he couldn’t help himself

‘Hey-’ he gave your shoulder a squeeze to make you look at him

‘I love you, so so much-‘

Jaehyuk

realising it

it was the first time you were going to meet the rest of Jaehyuk’s group

a little nervous but mostly excited you walked to the front door

he told you to text him when you got there so he could see you before the rest did

a few second after you saw he read your message the door opens

you get a kiss on the lips, a tight hug and a kiss on your forehead all after each other

he wanted to show you love but also wanted to mentally prepare you for what was about to him

don’t get him wrong, he loves the other members with all his heart but he could imagine them being a little.... overwhelming.

before he could even ask you if you were nervous the yells from the living room began

curious heads peeking out from behind his back, 11 hands reaching out to you as they all wanted to introduce themselves first

you could make out some teasing to Jae followed by someone’s voice trying to keep the peace

he looked at you with slight worry in his face, only to be greeted by a cheerful smile

before he knew it you were bashing out jokes left and right

even standing up for him a few times in the funniest ways

he couldn’t be happier

so many people he loved in one room

one in particular though

he took a moment to sit back against the couch and look around in awe

so happy

after a few hours and some good food it was time for you to go home

he watched you end your conversation with Asahi

who, to his surprise, seemed like he didn’t want the conversation to end

you waved goodbye to everyone and got loads of no’s and why’s in return

‘It’s late guys, she still has to go home.’

saying it

you still heard the whining when you and Jae reached the front door

you talked a few more minutes about how much you enjoyed yourself and the funny and awkward moments you two noticed

‘Apparently you don’t only make me happy but my friends too.’

you beamed at the compliment

even though you enjoyed the night as well, the validation that they did too meant a lot to you

‘So I’ve been approved?’ ‘Clearly.’

he insisted on walking you home 

you discussed the evening even more

he explained more about their personalities and memories he has with them which now made so much sense to you

your fingers were intertwined, arms swinging back and forth playfully

for some reason he felt a lump in his throat

but he couldn’t quite figure out why

it even distracted him from your conversation a few times

which is very unlike him so you noticed quickly

when you stopped walking to ask him what was wrong

looking him in the eye to show you you were not taking nothing for an answer

the determined look in your eyes made him realize what it was

what he had been holding back

but he didn’t say it

not yet

after a few minutes you reached your frontdoor

‘Thank you for the great evening, I’m sure they’ll want you back as soon as possible.’

he leaned in for a goodnight’s kiss, holding you close a little tighter than usual

for a second he pulled back

‘I love you-’

before connecting your lips again

[electraheart2012]

have you ever explained your different tags and where they come from? they’re so ~aesthetic~ and each capture a mood perfectly but i’m not really sure what they’re Meant to encapsulate

THANK U and nope i haven’t! lemme do that now, buckle in >:D ok im back up here to say this got very long but i hope it helped dkdjfkd 

in our lives is a common sense - 1) comes from a pin-light bent by joanna newsom, “in our lives is a common sense / that relies on the common fence” 2) pretty much just stuff about the connection btwn ~humanity, and just things that make me feel warm inside. tl;dr to quote ANOTHER joanna newsom song, ben wyatt.jpeg it’s about the sweetness of being 

heart is a bird - 1) comes from how long from hadestown (the concept album version, idk if the bway version is different bec i refuse to listen to it <3), “all of his sorrow won’t fit in his chest / it just burns like a fire in the pit of his chest / and his heart is a bird on a spit in his chest” 2) this one is probably the most vague tag i have, it’s just a catch-all for a like.. i hate to use the word feral, but more feral/dark aesthetic i guess? or things that feel like some kind of catharsis. basically just twisted cycle path things😩😫🤯😫😫😤😤

if i only could - 1) comes from the electronic bit at the end of running up that hill by kate bush, “if i only could, be running up that hill, oh if i only could” 2) basically anything that reminds me of adolescence or girlhood or teenagedom and the rush that comes with “we’re reeling through the midnight streets / i’ve never felt more alone / it feels so scary getting old”, but it’s kinda just become a catchall for all that and also vaguely alt/2000s stuff 

im no prophet im your friend - 1) from identical by phoenix, “tell me you’re trying / trying to regret playing all night those video tapes / i’m no prophet i’m your friend / take my advice make your mistakes / i’m right beside you, unfold that i know you / i’m told that it’s my fault / i’d rather fall and lose control again” 2) on friendship @_@ 

if you ever were to find your way back home - 1) from the transcendental song 1995 by the radio dept, “1995 seems like a long way to go if you ever were to find your way back home”, one of my fav songs and one of my fav lyrics ever 2) p self explanatory, just things that remind me of home or are about being/make me feel homesick

how the earth did shake - 1) from we the common by thao and the get down stay down, “how the earth did shake / and tumble and tremble for what the people did take” 2) just stuff about like. life/love as political things? and just general things about protest that aren’t, like, actual resources and stuff. im not 100% on this tag asdskdj 

what lies under the city - 1) from sapokanikan by joanna newsom, “wait for the hunter to decipher the stone / and what lies under the city is gone” i wish i had chosen "lost in the idling bird call” or literally any other line from the song but as the french say celebi :pensivecowboy: 2) cities tag! 

our dreams on the windowsill, see those trees turning gold in the hills - 1) from the ending of all shades of blue by gregory alan isakov, 2) this tag is the bane of my existence its so long but yeah it’s an autumn tag but also just kind of a nostalgic tag 

when the redcheeked dancing girls trip home - 1) it’s a paraphrase of a moby dick quote, “for as when the red-cheeked, dancing girls, April and May, trip home to the wintry, misanthropic woods; even the barest, ruggedest, most thunder-cloven old oak will at least send forth some few green sprouts, to welcome such glad-hearted visitants” 2) spring tag! 

youre the only warm thing for miles - 1) from i’m going back to minnesota where sadness makes sense by danez smith, 2) winter tag~! 

barbed spined hold us close forever - 1) a paraphrase of emily by joanna newsom, “the ties that bind they are barbed and spined and hold us close forever” 2) stuff about family/so far mostly siblings 

siren's song take me home - 1) from a map a string a light by yvette young, "siren's song take me home / where the stones can cover me" 2) i can have a little fantasy tag.. as a treat

n - nostalgia and on childhood 

glowing pink in the night - 1) from the mitski song duh 2) for that hashtag moment when you glow pink in the night in ur room, blossoming alone over uuu. i don’t really know abt this tag it kind of pisses me off i can’t decide what it’s supposed to be

heart has no home - 1) from “to the bone” by the queen of haunting songs, mirel wagner, “my heart has no home / you’ve bruised me to the bone” 2) it was a vampire tag but i think it’s just going to be more monstrous people now

sounds of people - 1) MYYY GODD IM SO LONELYYYY SO I OPENNNN THE WINDOW!!!!! 2) it’s like supposed to be urban loneliness but i need to brush it up a bit o_o i also might just merge it with heart is a bird

i think those are all the tags i use most often? but yeah i hope this answered your question n i hope you’re having a good night djfdj <3

[onestowatch]

Summer Salt Aims to Find the Silver Lining on ‘Sequoia Moon’ [Q&A]

Photo: Andrew Reiner

After two canceled tours, a year-and-a-half of waiting for the world to open back up, and months of releasing a series of summery and strong singles, Summer Salt has finally released their second full-length album, Sequoia Moon. Fans old and new have been waiting patiently for the twelve-track record to inject some tropic vibes into their daily listening diets, and Austin-based duo, comprised of vocalist and guitarist Matthew Terry and drummer Eugene Chung, have certainly delivered the goods just in time.

Ones To Watch had the opportunity to chat with Terry and Chung about the album and to discuss its themes of finding your people and your way back home and what's next for the band.

Ones To Watch: So far, y'all have released a series of really amazing singles leading up to the release of your sophomore album Sequoia Moon. Which one have y'all been most proud of?

Eugene: I think for me, and this might be different from Matt's answer, but I think "Monday's Facil" is my personal favorite just because it was the first one of the bunch. It was the first one we recorded as well when we started working on the record. Also, we did the video ourselves, and, I don't know, there's something kind of nostalgic about that.

It feels like all of Summer Salt's music videos have a solid identity tied together by the band's easy-going and authentic energy. What is your creative process like when it comes to coming up with visuals for your songs?

Matt: We try to make a little bit of a mood board and exchange ideas with each other. Eugene and I will text a lot of our random thoughts that we have that we think will be cool for certain videos and try to recreate what we feel like we see when we think about our videos. "Monday's Facil" is the only one we've directed ourselves.

Eugene: Yeah, sometimes we'll always bring up ideas, and we love everything we have, but sometimes our original ideas don't get shown or don't come across the way that we intended, which is totally fine because I think there's magic in that.

Matt: Yeah, sometimes things take a different direction. I feel like for "Fire Flower," we wanted it to be very story-oriented. We always try to start with a story, but then it just ends up becoming more vibey because the story just gets kinda lost in translation. So in the video for "Fire Flower," we wanted to be like, okay, we're getting ready to go to like a New Year's dance, and we're going to be the band that plays the show at the New Year's dance. And so that's what we wanted to do, and then afterward, we were gonna go shoot off fireworks, but then it kind of became, you know, it took on a life of its own, and we were kind of just having fun. We found that with the videos, because Eugene and I are both a bit camera shy, having a story opens us up more, and we can have more fun with it.

That makes sense! The opportunity to play a character puts less pressure on you in a way.

Matt: Exactly! When you have to do something that's so you, you end up overanalyzing the parts you may be self-conscious about and worry about how you come off on camera. I think that's how a lot of actors are.

A personal favorite music video for the singles y’all have released so far has to be "Hocus Pocus." Where did y'all shoot it and tell me about that day?

Eugene: Yeah, that one has to be my favorites so far too.

Matt: Same here!

Eugene: Yeah, fun location, fun story. We shot most of it around Crescent City, California, in the Redwoods and Jedediah National Forest. It's the same place they shot Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.

It did look extremely familiar now that you mention it!

Matt: Haha yeah, we've been getting that a lot from people. I really loved that video because we got to play these big characters, which is something we hadn't done before in past videos, which is really cool.

From the songs that haven't been released yet on the album, which one are you most excited for people to hear?

Matt: I think people will really like "Neptune," but I'm especially excited for people to hear "Trouble In Paradise."

Eugene: For me, I'd have to say "Lewa Lani."

Sequoia Moon takes the listener on a beautifully vulnerable sonic journey, and it feels like although there's evident influence from your previous work on it, yet the record also feels like it's a chapter full of growth for Summer Salt. How would you describe this "era" for you guys? What does this album mean to you?

Matt: I would say that this era of the band, I think is just more of us being able to be more honest. I think the more and more we've kind of gone from our first releases to just writing, to releasing EPs and then Happy Camper, and then now it's like, it just kind of coincides with just growing and then like being true to ourselves. I feel like when we were writing Happy Camper and Driving To Hawaii, I don't know why, but I've always felt like it was just us wanting to write about fantasy and real-life things were never mentioned, and we kept things kind of playful and light. I think it's just been so much more of an emotional and genuine relief to write very real and honest things. I think that definitely has been where we've been recently in our writing, and I feel like that has progressed in this album.

So it's safe to say that you've learned more about what kind of artists y'all want to evolve into while working on this album?

Matt: Absolutely.

Like many pieces of work that are coming out right now, this album was recorded during the pandemic. What was that experience like for you guys? Did you have to tweak your creative process, or did things end up staying relatively the same?

Eugene: I mean, I think for me, and maybe for Matt too... I mean, we've always worked well together, so that's never been a problem, but just being more open to more ideas or different sounds. Communication goes a long way.

Matt: Yeah, to kind of go back to the last question and to answer this question too, one thing I try to remind myself is, like, when I write a song, and perhaps Eugene, you've had the same experience, and you're inspired by another artist, that you're like, "Well, I want to write a song like that thing. How did they do that? How do they come up with such like a cool transitional hook?" I ask myself all the time how did they come up with something that's so lucid and kind of dreamy, but then also keep it very pop sounding. I wonder about these kinds of aspects of songwriting that are really neat and seem very crafty. However, I learned that when I overthink how to do those things the way they did it, it's almost like I'm trying too much to be perfect, then the song kind of loses the essence and coolness. When you take that thought process away, it just naturally becomes you being you and the song becomes more naturally beautiful that way. It's so hard at times to take yourself out of that when you're stuck on a song because you just want it to be perfect.

Eugene: Yeah. It's hard to replicate stuff, and I think things kind of coming naturally is always the best way for us. I think better songs just happen when you sort of step out of that place. Also, working from a distance virtually was super easy for us because both of us are such homebodies. So it was easy for us to share ideas and come together over the pandemic.

What does the name Sequoia Moon mean to you? 

Matt: I went to the Bay Area for a while, like a long time ago, and then went to the Redwood Forest for the first time, and I just came back and wanted to write some songs about it. Like three of those songs, "Two Of A Kind," "Sequoia Moon," and then "Lewa Lani," other than those three, they're all kind of relatively new, but those three were I wrote from back then. So like I said, one of those songs was called "Sequoia Moon," and I thought that that was a beautiful name. So Eugene and I went on this name quest to try to figure out what to call the record, so we searched through all of our lyrics several times because we just wanted to, for the first time to pick something that wasn't like a track name. So we were trying to find something we did like and finally just accepted defeat and went back to our original idea and just do Sequoia Moon and accept that. We just ended up really liking it and thinking that it was a really pretty name.

Eugene: Personally, the name fit for me not just because of the few songs that Matt wrote before writing the rest of them and being inspired by that area, but I think, for all the songs, there's kind of a deeper meaning between Matt and me and that time in our lives.

Matt: You know, I feel like all of the songs are about finding this kind of duality of sadness and beauty. Life is a rollercoaster of happiness and sadness, and you're just trying to find this silver lining and beauty in all of it. And so I feel like that name just kind of sounds a little lonely. Sounds a little bad or bittersweet, but it also sounds beautiful.

Outside of the natural beauty of the Pacific Northwest, what else inspires you as creators and inspired this body of work?

Eugene: I think relationships both new and old. Growing. 

Matt: Yeah, like thinking about your interpersonal relationship with people and what they mean to you in your life. I think that that's a very inspirational thing. When I was writing some of these lyrics, I was just becoming very close friends with Eugene, and my girlfriend and I just began dating. I started writing these songs three years ago, and so just finding those people that are just the kind of people who can pull you out of any funk that you have or be there for you through your best and worst time, that's an inspiration. I think lots of songs we have, like "Patch Your Jacket," "Clover," "Hocus Pocus," "Two Of A Kind," "Colors Of Your Love," they're all just about people being there for you and saying, "It's cool, dude. I got you."

Now that touring is back up and running, are there some cities that y'all are excited to revisit or visit for the first time this summer when y'all hit the road?

Eugene: Yeah, we're super excited to tour. We have a mini-tour this summer, and then we actually have a longer one starting in September.

Matt: Yeah, I'm excited to play in San Francisco. We've also never been to Miami, so that'll be cool.

Eugene: Yeah, it's weird we've never been there, but it'll be cool.

Matt: Oh, and Santa Fe! It's gorgeous there, and we've never been there. So those three cities for sure!

Sequoia Moon is available everywhere you can stream it. 

[dailytomlinson]

Zayn channelled R&B, Harry went full-on rock, Niall found his sound in folkish-country pop and Liam just went all over the place. And on January 31st, 2020, Louis Tomlinson became the final member of One Direction to finally release a debut album. I have to say, it was well worth the wait.

Having been through quite a few downs in the last few years (losing both his mother and sister), Tomlinson has packed quite a lot of emotion into this heavily Oasis-inspired album. And you can tell.

This album is sort of like him looking back at the glory days of One Direction with a fond reminisce, while also forging a new path (or should I say, direction) with a sound he seems to have found a new home in.

There are some songs on this album, like “Don’t Let It Break Your Heart” and “Perfect Now,” which will take you straight back to One Direction’s glory days. He channels the pop singer in him, the part that thrived with the global sensation that was the band, and it definitely carries that bittersweet nostalgia that every 1D fan can associate themselves with (I certainly could). The other part channels the new sound Tomlinson is headed towards: old school Britpop, with a heavy Oasis influence.

Here is a track by track analysis of the album:

KILL MY MIND

Right off the bat, the heavy Britpop vibes can be heard. It’s very different from the kind of music Tomlinson has made in the past, and it kind of gives you an idea as to what direction he is about to go in musically.

As Louis has said in his track by track analysis for Apple Music, “This was a statement of intent. This is where I want to be, this is where I want to move into.” He navigates this song with a sort of swagger that is enhanced by the strong guitar riffs in the background. The northern English accent is prominent in this track and overall, this whole song is very British. And it is definitely a fun and exciting way to kick off this album.

DON’T LET IT BREAK YOUR HEART

This is what I’m talking about when I say he also touched on his One Direction roots. The chorus of this song will instantly remind you of a 1D song. It could easily fit into FOUR or Made in the A.M. Tomlinson has acknowledged that this is definitely right up the band’s alley and says that “it’s just one of those songs that’s trying to promote hope regardless of what life throws at you.” And it is definitely a nice song to be humming along to, and for all the 1D fans out there, it adds for a great nostalgia factor.

TWO OF US

This is definitely one of the most emotional songs on the album. Written by Tomlinson for his mother, who tragically passed away a few years ago, it will tug at your heartstrings and maybe get you to shed a few tears along the way. Tomlinson has said that he “wasn’t ready to write the song” but it is definitely “the most special song I’ve ever written”.

When he released this song a few months ago as a single, he said in a statement, “I just feel like musically, I almost needed to get this song off my chest. People say writing is a part of therapy and in a way, I feel like I’d been avoiding writing this song because I knew I only had one chance to get it right. I don’t mean to be too soppy about it, but if ‘Two of Us’ can help just one other person who’s going through the tough time that I went through, then that would make me really happy.”

It is a very raw tribute. Louis has sung his fair share of ballads in the past, but this is definitely his most emotional and personal one yet if the lyrics “You’ll never know how much I miss you / The day that they took you, I wish it was me instead,” are anything to go by. It is truly a beautiful way to remember his mother, who I’m sure would be very proud.

WE MADE IT

This song was also released as a single, and while it’s not one of my favourites, but it’s a good song nonetheless. The song is very road trippy, and the meaning is pretty straightforward: we went through some pretty difficult times, but we made it.

The lyrics tell a story of him looking back at his past and acknowledging all the good and bad times. The song proclaims that we — as in Tomlinson and his fans — made it ’till the end. It is in a similar vein to One Direction’s “History,” which is also like a tribute to the fans of the band.

TOO YOUNG

This is one of my favourites from the album. If you want a sweet but sad little song, this is it. It seems like Tomlinson is singing about being young and reckless, as well as finding someone he would possibly want to spend the rest of his life with. However, it’s too much responsibility for a teenager to comprehend.

In other words, they were too young. (Hence the song title.) It is kind of like an apology to the girl he loves, asking her to forgive him for the stupid mistakes he made because he was “too young” to figure out what all of it means.

Its a beautiful, stripped-down song, with just Tomlinson’s beautifully unique voice powering through some soft acoustic guitar in the background. It is a pretty honest song, as Tomlinson puts it, “We all made mistakes when we were younger, and I just wanted to capture that idea of true honesty.” “Too Young” is the kind of song you’d listen to with a reluctant smile on your face, somewhere between forgiveness and acknowledgment.

WALLS

The title track of the album. Again, very Oasis, but also very different at the same time. Another taste of the new path Tomlinson has forged. I say Oasis because he literally lifted elements from 3 Oasis songs to put on this track, while also giving Noel Gallagher credit as a lyricist and composer. The live guitar riffs add a really fun edge to the otherwise kind of emotional song. Not my favourite in the bunch, but it certainly is a good song to belt out on a road trip.

HABIT

This is also one of the songs I really loved. I feel like this is Tomlinson at his best — when he’s just being himself. It is very festival-esque, in a way. Emotionally deep with subtle instrumentation to back it up, this song has quite a storytelling vibe to it.

The music immediately makes you want to nod your head along to it, and it is very lively and spring-y. It’s emotional, but at the same time, it makes you want to skip along the sidewalk on a nice sunny day. Or sing it along with your friends at a campfire and Louis’ extremely unique voice just elevates it.

It also has an Easter egg from the One Direction days, according to Louis, “There’s a line about the place that we all grew up with in the band, and that was an apartment complex called Princess Park. It’s like an Easter egg for the fans, I’m sure they’ll like that.”

ALWAYS YOU

Definitely an instant favourite of mine — and packed with a lot of emotion. The music is very skip-in-the-step and upbeat so it doesn’t seem like it, but the lyrics are extremely meaningful. The moment the song begins, it instantly brings a fond smile to your face. It is clearly about a man travelling all over the world but always coming back to you — because its always been you.

Yes, it’s that love song. That happy, comforting, good-natured song that is just about that one girl who has captured his heart that he always comes back to.

As Louis puts it, “It’s very autobiographical, me making that realisation that its always been that one person, that no matter where you are and what you see, you miss that one person.”

It makes you feel content, and it makes you feel like you’re home, and it just makes you very happy as you listen to it. “Always You” has some beautiful harmonies and generously shows off Tomlinson’s vocal range, and is easily one of the best songs on this album.

FEARLESS

This one is a belter — and Tomlinson really doesn’t hold back. It is a ballad, something Louis really knows how to do well. Tomlinson really lets go in this song, reaching for those high notes and successfully hitting them, while also trying to capture what it felt like to truly be young, to be fearless.

“Tell me, do you still remember feeling young?” That is what he is asking of us, as he navigates through what it felt like for him and remembering his own youth, reminiscing with fondness.

It is a bittersweet feeling, and it is quite evident as you listen to the song. It is very raw and nostalgic in a way as it will definitely make you go through a trip down your memory lane, as you try to answer his question.

PERFECT NOW

This song is very One Direction. It is in a similar vein as the band’s highly successful ballad “Little Things.” According to Tomlinson, “it’s kind of an extension to “What Makes You Beautiful,” the band’s first single.”

This is his way of telling the world that he absolutely loves the band and wanted a song on the album that reflects his love for it. This song is very simple and stripped down. It tells a story about a girl being beautiful despite her insecurities.

He also mentions not fitting into your jeans, à la “Little Things,” but it works. It’s not my absolute favourite, but it is a cute song nonetheless.

DEFENCELESS

Defenceless is a song I really like. It starts off quite unassuming and doesn’t really catch you, but as the song builds, and the beat drops, and Tomlinson belts out those high notes, you’re hooked right in. The harmonies and background music add a lovely touch to this song, and the bridge is really beautiful.

No, really, the composition in this song is stunning. It’s hard to describe but it kind of is like a comforting happy melody, like something that can easily be used in a video montage. The music just makes you feel really happy, like basking in the sun on a warm spring day.

The song is basically about being vulnerable and experiencing many different feelings: “One day you might be feeling great, youthful and amazing, and the next day you might be feeling a bit down in the dumps.” And that is being defenceless (against your feelings).

ONLY THE BRAVE

This song is the last and the shortest track on the album, and it’s wildly different from the rest. It is a song about what it takes to stand on your own and is the perfect way to round off a very emotional album.

It is very soft and quiet and has a retro vibe to it. The way the end drops off leaves you thinking about everything you just listened to and the lyrics are extremely beautiful with lines like “It’s a church of burnt romances and I’m too far gone to pray” and “It’s a solo show and it’s only for the brave.”

This song will bring a small smile to your face, and it just seems like a classic, like going back in time. And having a song about what it is like to tear the walls down and stand on your own is probably the best way to end an album that is very aptly titled Walls and “Only the Brave” does exactly that.

FINAL VERDICT

Walls as a whole is a pretty impressive debut. It is a cohesive body of work. This has definitely laid a foundation for the kind of music we can expect from Louis Tomlinson.

Although he doesn’t really experiment a lot like some of his other bandmates, Tomlinson sticks to what he knows. He also shows us what he loves in his sound, and it works for him. I have always thought that he has an extremely unique and soothing voice, and this album has utilised it beautifully.

Walls is one of those albums that could over the years easily become a staple classic. It is very emotionally packed, and it seems like the kind of album you can fall back on a few years down the line to find some familiarity and homeliness — like an old friend.

You can definitely see the ambition. Perhaps Louis isn’t taking too many risks here is because this album is more like a reflection of his past. He’s working on tearing those walls down to become a whole new person. Along the way, he adds hints of the kind of sound he’s headed towards.

This album is a foundation for something new and exciting. We don’t quite know who he really is yet musically, but it is definitely a promise for some exciting things to come, and something tells me, for Tomlinson, this is only the beginning

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #355

“despite all my rage, i am still just a rat in a cage”

Have you ever shared a shower or bath with someone as an adult? No, only as a kid. What kind of pizza toppings do you like? Meats or jalapenos. When did you first take a shot of alcohol? Never, and I'm not interested. Did you babysit for money when you were in middle school? No. Who is your favorite band? How long have they been? Ozzy Osbourne, since middle school. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? My old house, yes. Not the one I currently live in. Have you ever been to a spa? Only because my friend at the time took me. When talking on the phone, do you place it against your left or right ear? My right. What’s your favourite Lunchables meal? The nachos one. Do you like Bob Marley? NO. Omg his voice is awful. Have you ever eaten at Golden Corral? Yeah. I'm not a big fan. Do you sit and eat dinner at the same table with your family? We only ever do that if my sister is over (she comes for dinner once a week). Are you listening to any music right now? If so, what are you listening to? Yeah, Violet Orlandi's cover of "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" by The Smashing Pumpkins. God she's so beautiful and talented and asdfjkaljddkfjlwkee FUCK I'm gay for her. Who was the last person to make you genuinely smile? Watching Mark. :') Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t? Yeah. Do you like men who have a sensitive side? Yes. Please be in touch with your emotions, for the love of God. Have you ever tried to get someone into a certain band/artist? Not persistently, no, but Mini is a case where me mentioning them enough got her to listen to them. Metallica, by the way. They're her favorite band because of mwah, haha. Have you ever carved you and someone else’s initials into a tree? It's possible, but I don't believe so. Do you like Dairy Queen? Love it. They're Oreo Cupfection thing is BOMB. Is there anyone you know with an amazing personal success story? Yes. I have a friend Shannen who first was a widely-recognized photographer in the state, and now she's a fashion designer (or something like that) up in New York. Is there a song in a different language that you can sing? A number of Rammstein songs. How do you feel about bands that use pyrotechnics in live concerts? So long they're well-made for safety reasons, I don't care much. They do seem a bit unnecessary, though; like just look at James Hetfield's accident that burned half his body because of standing in the wrong place. It seems easy to fuck up and get in a dangerous range. Ever fallen down a hole? No. Do you like bananas? Yeah. How long do you normally spend in the shower? Not even 10 minutes, usually. I've never understood how people can take such long showers. Have you ever been a featured member on any website? Yeah, on a Silent Hill fansite. Have you ever had any weird pets? Not by my standards. A ball python morph is as "weird" as it gets. Are you currently talking to/texting/instant messaging anyone? Nope. Have you ever experienced insomnia? Ugh, yes. I went through a horrible insomnia spell, and I still have an awful time trying to fall asleep. Do you like egg nog? Nooo. Would you ever wear Converse with a prom/formal dress? I'm not opposed to it, but realistically I'd probably wear something more traditionally suiting just because. Do you prefer hot chocolate with or without marshmallows? Without. How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? I've cried all the oceans over just one lol. Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician? Being a mortician actually doesn't sound awful, weird as it sounds. It sounds almost relaxing if I could just be alone with some music doing my job. Would rather be a musician or a painter? A painter. Would you rather write your own book or make your own movie? I'd love to write a book. At home, do you have a trampoline? No. When you are about to go to bed, do you put on some sort of noise? No. What is your favorite Christmas movie? Jim Carrey's How The Grinch Stole Christmas. And what about your favorite Christmas song? Probably "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" or whatever it's called. "Carol of the Bells" too, of course. What is your ultimate favorite stocking stuffer? Haha, okay so it seems to be an unspoken rule that Mom always gets us Slim Jims for our stockings, and that's obviously the best considering my sisters and I loooove them yet still don't buy them much. You're making me ready for Christmas, lol. After Halloween, do you sort out all of your candy into little piles? I did as a kid, and then my sisters and I would trade what we preferred. When you listen to music with headphones, do you keep the volume low enough to hear surrounding noise faintly, or do you blast it? It's honestly pretty loud. What did you have for breakfast this morning? Cold pizza from dinner leftovers last night. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? Our late boxer mix, Cali. She was a big 'ole pup. Do you own any kind of helmet? No. Out of everything currently in your refrigerator, what food or drink is your favorite? Food: strawberries. Drink: Mountain Lightning. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Either when I skinned my knees so deep that pus was visible, or when I fainted onto my chin and got a short, but very deep cut. Do you like the taste of cough syrup? No. What is something you like to have conversations about? I like talking about deep stuff, like where we came from, our unique feelings and beliefs, conspiracy theories and cryptids, mysterious stuff like that, too. And don't forget animals. And Mark, haha. What all is in the trunk of your car? I don't have a car, and I don't remember what's in Mom's trunk, even though I helped bring in groceries just the other day. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? Ew, no. Is your heat or air conditioning currently on? Our AC is currently on because it's too damn hot. The weather here has been so up and down, it's wild. Have you ever fallen off of a horse? No. Which do you value more, your appearance or your intelligence? Honestly? I'd be dumber than I already am if it meant being happy with how I look, because my appearance now is a key factor to my depression. When was the last time you drove something other than a car or truck? Oh jeez... I have no idea. I don't think since I've driven a golf cart at someone's b-day party as a kid. Were your grandparents present when you were born? No. If you drink/smoke, how often do you do these things? I don't smoke, and I only have a drink or two very rarely, usually just on special occasions. What do you think of fast food? I like it way more than I wish I did. What website do you spend the most time on and why? YouTube, because I'm always listening to and/or watching something. What’s the most amount of time you’ve spent online? Is this usual for you? In one non-stop setting, I don't want to know. I pretty much only exist on the computer. When it comes to travel, what kinds of places intrigue you most? Mountainous, loads of nature, cooler/cold, mysterious locations... stuff like that. Do you think humans colonizing Mars is a good idea? Would you go, if you could? If we learn from our goddamn mistakes and not fuck up its environment, it could be healthy or even life-saving for humanity, but I'd prefer to stay on Earth as long as possible. What is the farthest you’ve walked in one day and what made you do it? I dunno, maybe at Disney World or something like that as a kid. What is something important that’s often on your mind lately? Physical health stuff. I'm worried about a lot of things relating to that. What about something unimportant, but you can’t stop thinking about it? I don't know about "unimportant," at least to me. Do you like oatmeal? If so, what kinds of things do you like in it? Yeah. I only really eat the cinnamon apple ones; I always use milk and sprinkle some sugar in there, and it's delicious. What was going on the last time you felt nostalgic? When Mom and I stopped at Jason's house to bring the family some treats following his mother's death. I stayed in the car and couldn't even look towards the house, but yeah. So many memories just stampeded me. How much attention do you pay to the movements of the stars and planets, and do you believe they influence anything? I pay zero attention to it; I don't believe they have influence over people in any way. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? I guess you could say World of Warcraft. It's definitely the most involved, like I've been playing it almost consistently since 2014, and I used to be in a Heroic raid team, which certainly wasn't easy. Then there's some achievements I busted my ass to get. Which accent do you find most sexy, alluring or appealing? British is where it's at. Which accent do you find most annoying, disturbing, or bothersome? Extremely Southern ones. Can you cry on cue? Is it any kind of useful? No. Does it take you a while to actually get jokes? Embarrassingly, it frequently does. Can you wear socks to bed or does it annoy you? Ugh, I could never. I hate the feeling of socks. Have you ever bleached your hair? By myself, no, but a professional has to dye it. Do you like jelly beans? They're okay. It really depends on the flavor, and even then I can't eat a lot of them. Do you have trouble sleeping when it’s storming? Yes, but not because it scares me, but rather that I'm just jumpy. Subtle thunder isn't so bad, and I LOVE the drone of heavy rain, but once you add booming thunder and strong flashes of lightning, it's too disruptive for me to fall asleep easily. Who was the last person you know that graduated? (high school or college) My not-so-little sister is just about to finish her Master's lakdsjfakwe I'm so proud of her. Were you happy or sad when you found out your babysitter was coming? I think I was always kinda bummed out, even though I liked my babysitters. I had horrible separation anxiety from my mom. Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten? No, but I did have this one guy who'd been like obsessed with me since pre-k and would always chase me to hug and kiss me. In pre-k it was awful, but he still did it sometimes in kindergarten, despite the teachers getting on him about it. It's actually a memory I forgot for a very long time, like I think my brain tried to oppress it, and I wonder if it has anything to do with my fear of people standing behind me, men specifically, and being raped. Did you ever read the Magic Treehouse series? Oh yes, I was obsessed! Who was your best friend in elementary school? It jumped between Brianna, Kim, and Quiata. Did you ever watch The Land Before Time movies? YESSSSS. I even had the computer game. Did you collect anything when you were a kid? Stickers. I'd put them on my dresser everywhere to the point it was absolutely covered. Did you get an allowance? No. Not because my parents didn't want to or anything, but rather they couldn't afford allowances to three kids. Were you into American Girl dolls? Nah. I got one, but I think it was mostly so my sisters and I each had our own. Nicole, however, was sooooo into them. Were you friends with your childhood neighbors? Some, yeah, especially the boy down my street named D'Andre. We would hang out ALL the time, be it at each other's houses or just riding our bikes. He actually got married very recently and I'm so happy for him, ahhhhh!! What was your biggest fear when you were a kid? Thunderstorms. Did you ever play the "Reader Rabbit" computer games? Oh my god, YES. The one where you were hosting a surprise birthday party was my absolute favorite. Did your parents let you drink soda growing up? Yes. .-. What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid? Chocolate, of course.

[kanasmusings]

[Translation] VAZZROCK bi-color Series Vol. 7 - diamond - Drama Track 1 - Part 2

Here’s the second part~! It starts at around minute 20 ^^

Thank you again to the dear @ryuukia for the files!  Again, please don’t ask her for them as per her request, thank you ^^

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission.

Under the cut, enjoy ^^

[20:00]

SHO: Talking with Haruto is very fun~

HARUTO: Really?

SHO: Yep~ I’ve gotten more interested in knowing you now.

SHO: Why did you take on your current job, Haruto? You’re a model, aren’t you?

HARUTO: Yeah. There are a lot of fashion models nowadays but, unlike yours, mine’s not really something with a deeply-rooted story.

SHO: (in an enthusiastic tone) Tell me. I want to hear it~

HARUTO: There was a time when I was wondering what I wanted to be in the future when I grew up.

SHO: Yep~

HARUTO: It’s not like I wanted to play music or do sports. I just thought that I had the drive to do something.

HARUTO: Now that I mention it, it sounds a bit embarrassing.

SHO: That’s not true. Everyone has something they’re worried about.

HARUTO: (chuckles) You don’t seem like it though.

HARUTO: Anyway, I couldn’t find what I wanted to do and so I thought about doing a part-time job here and there. I was walking around town when I got scouted.

SHO: By TsukiPro?

HARUTO: Yeah, by my current manager in TsukiPro. I’ve been in his care since then.

SHO: Your manager had a very discerning eye, huh~?

HARUTO: I wonder. It’d be nice if he doesn’t regret his decision though.

SHO: I don’t think he will regret it.

(Sho stands up from his seat, leans close, and then whispers to Haruto)

SHO: Your manager is the one sitting over there, isn’t he?

HARUTO: How did you know?

SHO: Of course I can tell. Since he’s been looking at you with eyes that seem as if it’s looking at its own child.

HARUTO: …

SHO: What’s wrong?

HARUTO: No, I was just… embarrassed…

SHO: (chuckles) There’s no need to be~

SHO: So, what did you do after being scouted as a model?

HARUTO: Ah… I thought of refusing at first since I knew nothing about the entertainment industry and because I wasn’t really interested in it.

HARUTO: But, my mother told me, “Why not try it out first since you’re still at a loss for what you really want to do?”

SHO: Heh~ So your mother gave you advice? How wonderful~!

HARUTO: Though, she did tell me afterwards that I was in the way since all I did was lounge around at home. (chuckles)

SHO: (laughs)

HARUTO: The first time I saw it, I was really surprised. To be honest, at first I was only doing it with a mindset of “this is just a part-time job” but, after seeing how earnest, hard-working, I got engrossed into it without even noticing.

SHO: You felt that it was worth doing?

HARUTO: Yes. That, and one more thing.

HARUTO: I thought, “This is good~” after seeing pictures of myself wearing those costumes.

HARUTO: “Heh~ So amazing~!” I felt different things like that.

HARUTO: I… See? I can’t really put it into words properly, huh? I can never be able to move a person with my words.

HARUTO: But, I figured that maybe, with a picture, even I could possibly make people feel different emotions, too. It made me happy.

HARUTO: So, I think I still want to continue even now.

SHO: Yes~ Haruto… We really will get along well ♪

HARUTO: Eh?

SHO: We both want to move people’s hearts. We thought of that and we’re doing our current work because of that reason.

SHO: Our worlds and line of work might be different but, our intentions are the same, aren’t they~?

HARUTO: Move people’s hearts…? Yes, that’s right! It might sound pretentious of me to be saying this to a world-famous violinist but…

SHO: Oh my~ Why so?

HARUTO: “Why,” you ask… It’s classical [music], right?

SHO: Are you the type who thinks that classical [music] is difficult, too?

HARUTO: Let me see… If I’m being honest, what I know is only to the extent of what was taught at school so…

SHO: Oh~ A music class~! With that impression, I think it would be difficult.

SHO: But, you see? I think classical music is quite easy to grasp.

SHO: (Sho stands up) Should I play a little?

HARUTO: Here?

SHO: It’s a lot faster to be moved by music when performing rather than talking about it, isn’t it?

SHO: Um… (to the staff) Is making sound not allowed here?

SHO: That’s great~! Looks like there’s no problem.

[25:00]

  HARUTO: No, it’s not about whether it’s okay or not…

SHO: It hasn’t been tuned in quite a while so please do forgive if some sounds are a little off.

HARUTO: I think I wouldn’t even notice if you told me.

SHO: (chuckles) For example, let’s see… (Sho plucks a string) Like this.

(Sho starts playing the violin)

SHO: What about this?

(Sho starts playing again)

SHO: You’ve heard this, haven’t you?

HARUTO: Yeah, it’s a famous song, isn’t it? Though… I’m not sure about the title…

SHO: I think it’s a sound that can be heard along the streets, too~

SHO: Since what I played just now is something quite well known~

SHO: But, even though I say that, the only parts they know are the main melodies. Not many people have heard the full version of it.

HARUTO: Now that you mention it… I feel like they never really did let us listen to the full version in class, too.

SHO: Right? When that happens, the only part that remains memorable is the part that’s most commonly heard. No matter how great the song is, you’ll soon get tired of it.

(Sho starts playing again)

SHO: Music is beautiful even if it has only one part. However, it’s a piece that a composer has put all his heart into. You simply have to listen thoroughly to be able to appreciate that hard-work.

SHO: Even a song that starts small can hold many great things, too.

SHO: A music piece that can show many different emotions will never bore an audience.

SHO: When you think that classical music is difficult then, then it might be so. You have to consider how to memorize such an old piece, too.

SHO: “What’s the composer’s name? Where were they born? What happens with the musical scale?” In actuality, you don’t need to know those things to enjoy music.

SHO: No matter who the composer is, a beautiful piece is simply beautiful. A sad song is simply sad. An intense and cool song makes your heart pound with excitement…!

(Sho stops playing and sits down)

SHO: Well, it is also a good learning experience to be able to know the composer’s name and experiences. But really, it’s only God who knows what really happened.

SHO: (chuckles) But, that’s a different conversation~ Whether it’s classical music or a modern one, music only has one true nature.

SHO: You simply have to enjoy the music with all your heart. See? There’s nothing difficult about it~

HARUTO: Somehow… that’s amazing…!

SHO: (chuckles) Did you understand the beauty of classical music~?

HARUTO: I honestly can’t really tell yet but, I thought of wanting to listen more. And you—Ah, Sho. You’ve managed to convey to me how much you really love music.

SHO: Really~? That’s great! All that’s left is… Well, that.

HARUTO: That?

SHO: The chance for you to be moved by classical music. There’s not much, right?

SHO: It would be nice if you could truly enjoy it, too.

SHO: I know…! Haruto, want to try playing the violin for a while?

HARUTO: Eh?

SHO: Listening to music is fun but playing it is fun, too~! Making sound come out of the violin isn’t really difficult at all.

SHO: Come on~

HARUTO: Ah, I’ll have to decline. That instrument’s for a pro. It’s important to you, isn’t it? An amateur like me won’t really be able to handle touching a thing like that.

SHO: Hmm… (chuckles) You’re right. I think that if it’s you, it would be okay but, if you’re insisting on declining then I won’t force you.

HARUTO: Yes, please do. It’s bad for my heart.

SHO: Do you play any instrument, Haruto?

HARUTO: No, I don’t. Really only what they taught us at school.

SHO: Like, a recorder?

HARUTO: Yeah, recorder and a pianika. Oh, and castanets and tambourine?

SHO: And then singing?

HARUTO: Singing isn’t an instrument though…

SHO: Isn’t it music that you produce as well?

HARUTO: Yeah, that’s… Yeah, that’s a nice expression.

 (flashback ends)

  ***

[30:50]

 SHO: I wonder how many years have passed since then. It’s quite nostalgic, huh?

HARUTO: It wasn’t that long ago, you know?

SHO: Oh? Is that so~?

HARUTO: It still comes up as a topic when we meet the staff from that day.

SHO: Did that happen?

HARUTO: Yeah. They said that the conversation wasn’t enough so we moved places and talked a lot, huh?

HARUTO: Everyone knows that our managers scolded us for talking too much that our throats hurt afterward.

SHO: Oh yeah, that happened~ That was so fun, huh?

HARUTO: It is, yeah. But, I didn’t think that I’d be talking that much with someone I just met for the first time.

SHO: That’s just how much we get along~

HARUTO: Yes, that’s right. You tend to lose yourself when you talk about music. You say so much.

SHO: Do I?

HARUTO: At least be self-aware. I mean, you’d go and do it now if you could, won’t you?

SHO: You’re right. But, you’ll still keep me company and talk, wouldn’t you~?

HARUTO: If we both don’t have singing on the schedule for the next day then, yeah~

SHO: Yes, you’re absolutely correct, Haruto~

HARUTO: Should we go soon?

SHO: Yes. It turned into a nostalgic talk but, since it’s our day off after a while, let’s go listen to the orchestra~

(they start walking)

SHO: I’m really glad that you learned to love classical music more.

HARUTO: It’s all thanks to your influence though. I accompany you during your recitals after all. Plus, I can’t let a good platinum ticket go to waste, too.

SHO: (chuckles) That means my plan was a success~

HARUTO: Yeah. But, I think only listening to your music might have a negative effect.

SHO: Oh? What is it?

HARUTO: My ears have been spoiled. I won’t simply be satisfied with just a CD or a video. It makes me want to hear it live a lot.

SHO: That’s a good thing, isn’t it~?

HARUTO: Guess so. It makes me excited going to small live jazz performances when I see posters around town.

HARUTO: It’s a small fun adventure that includes not only music.

SHO: Heh~ It sounds like quite a fun adventure, huh? You should just invite me, too~

HARUTO: I don’t think they’re at a level that you should be hearing though. I do like the atmosphere though.

SHO: Ah~ Haruto, that’s exactly the music that I’ve been aiming for~!

SHO: It doesn’t have to be overcomplicated. You simply have to enjoy it~

HARUTO: With all your heart?

SHO: Exactly~! With all your heart!

  ==END==

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission.

※ If you like this, please do consider buying me a coffee here. It’ll really help me out a lot. (o^▽^o) Thank you!!

[shemakesmusic-uk]

This segment features artists who have submitted their tracks/videos to She Makes Music. If you would like to be featured here then please send an e-mail to shemakesmusic@hotmail.com. We look forward to hearing from you!

Zoë Zohar

Raised in Israel by a South African mother and Israeli father, Zoë Zohar shares her story and take on life through upbeat melancholic ambience. By incorporating live with electronic instruments, Zohar constantly shifts between raw nostalgic tones and futuristic elements, searching for a new authentic sound. After moving to London at the age of 19, Zohar and her team began working together on her much-anticipated EP of four songs, one of which features her recent release ‘Paper Airplanes’. Through her EP, Zohar tells a story of feeling overwhelmed in a trapped environment. In this song, she portrays a sense of loneliness and feeling on the edge of defeat, only to realise that one may find comfort in this state of mind. Zohar aims to take the viewer on a journey that reveals the conflict of befriending our inner voices and running away from them. Listen below.

Zoë Zohar �� Paper Airplanes

RIVITA

Hailing from the colorful escapades of India, Rivita creates electro-acoustic landscapes with her music. After completing an extensive education in music, she is currently based in LA and is focused on writing new music and playing virtual shows. Her latest single ‘Lonely With Someone’ is a story of the consequence of addiction and the unsaid hidden scars that it leaves. The song is a segway from her previous release ‘Someone Else’s Arms’, Rivita states “With this piece of work, I wanted to express the strength an individual really holds. There have been many moments in my life, I have surprised myself with my own strength and while facing some of my biggest fears in tough situations. While growing up I watched someone get lost in the sea of addiction. As I got older, I realized just how common addiction is across the globe and how well it is masked sometimes. It has caused me pain and it felt like I had no right to feel this way because I was not the one with the disease. I wanted to find a way to release my feelings without the consequence of being told to get over it or to stop thinking about it. This is the only way I thought I’d ever be able to fully express myself, through this song”. Listen below.

Rivita · Lonely With Someone

Alicia Lov

Spanish-Canadian artist Alicia Lov took to music at an early age. Music and dance lessons pushed her passion further and led to where she is now. Alicia has a love for lots of different genres including rap/hiphop, alternative, dancehall, latin pop and so much more. Dance is a big part of her inspiration and will continue to be a prime part of her career. Her latest single 'Magnetic' delivers a smooth romantic R&B feeling that makes you want to get cuddled up with that special someone. She explains further, "'Magnetic,' has romantic R&B vibes that were inspired by love between the sheets. Smiling and tracing each other with your fingertips. Love can sometimes just be free and chaotic. Head in the clouds, floating in another dimension." Listen below.

ALICIA LOV · Magnetic

Lyla DiPaul

Lyla DiPaul is an American recording artist based out of New Orleans. DiPaul grew up in Takoma Park, MD where she fell in love with playing guitar and writing songs at the age of 10. She draws musical inspiration from a variety of songwriters including Taylor Swift, Joni Mitchell, and Phoebe Bridgers. DiPaul eloquently relays the feeling of love and heartbreak through her music, and hopes to connect to people through her work. Her latest single is ‘Still Unwell’ and here is what Lyla had to say about the release: ”I wrote ‘Still Unwell’ with my friend MC in the fall of 2019. Simply put, it is a breakup song. We always describe it as being about nostalgia for a relationship. When you miss all the good things and bad things about a person, and just cannot move on. We recorded the bulk of the song in the studio at Loyola University, New Orleans and then ended up finishing up the guitar work and the vocals in my bedroom after things became unsafe due to the pandemic.” Listen below.

Lyla DiPaul · Still Unwell

Mango In Euphoria

Starting her project in London after being employed in Florida and travelling through the United States, French-born alternative artist and songwriter Mango In Euphoria quickly found her audience when she dropped her first experimental work at the end of 2020. The singer is an emerging talent noticeable by her quirky style and her mysterious signature voice, matching her very own unique musical tracks mixing Electronic Rock, Dream Pop and Dark-wave genres. Creating melodies coming from her mind with virtual instruments and recording with a very basic microphone during the global Coronavirus pandemic, Mango In Euphoria also began to work remotely with Belgian producer Philippe Francq who helped her in developing a lot of demos with physical instruments inspired from vintage influences such as the Twin Peaks series soundtracks, The Cure, and Garbage. As Mango was mainly musically influenced by Grimes and Lana Del Rey, there's no doubt that the result would be quiet outstanding. Her new song ‘Golden Shrine’ is about celebrating who you are as a unique person, embracing this uniqueness “and also about someone who started to copy everything I was doing when everything was coming from my creativity so instead of getting more pissed off I created a song about it!” she laughs. Listen below.

MangoInEuphoria · Mango In Euphoria - Golden Shrine

Shannon

East London singer-songwriter, Shannon is an indie-pop artist that brings soulful tones through her vocals. Her music shares stories and experiences through heartfelt lyrics and production driven by acoustic guitar. Her latest single ‘But He's There’ is an upbeat track about the complications of falling for a close friend. The lyrics reveal inner thoughts of uncertainty about stepping out of one's comfort zone to fulfil an exciting idea of love. As the song builds, the story unfolds and reflects the fantasy for a closer relationship. Shannon's high notes introduce an unexpected direction to the vocal line that mirrors the feeling of being caught unaware by your thoughts and feelings. Whilst picturing the production for this song, some influential tracks from the 90's came to mind from artists such as Corinne Bailey Rae, Lauryn Hill and Natasha Bedingfield. The laid-back drums and organ keys give off a chilled vibe, almost as if the song acts as a passing thought during a relaxed Sunday morning. Listen below.

officialshannonuk · But He's There

Heff VanSaint

East London-based alternative pop artist, Heff VanSaint has released her debut track ‘Nothing Lasts Forever’. The former one half of synth-pop duo Miracles has gone back to her roots with a song that fuses old-school storytelling, with a contemporary lo-fi indie sound. ‘Nothing Lasts Forever’ is a tale of lost friendship, at a time of carefree hedonism. It’s a bruised, melancholic song tinged with sadness. Lyrically sublime, its evocative lines hit deep and leave the listener experiencing a sentimental yearning long after its over. Listen below.

Nille Nyc

Following up on the release of her debut EP PowerPainPillsPercussion, Danish electro pop artist Nille Nyc has just released new single ‘Someone Else’, her first of 2021, as a per cursor to her upcoming full-length album. Let’s face it, we’ve all been there: a relationship that seems to constantly be teetering on the edge of the abyss, until one day when it finally implodes. Afterwards, all that we can do is pick up the pieces and move on. ‘Someone Else’ is a story about looking back at the aftermath of a bad relationship from the safety of a better place. With a playful guitar, heavy R&B beat and edgy vocals, ‘Someone Else’ opens a new chapter in Nille Nyc’s musical journey. “Throughout our lifetime we experience relationships which challenge our core values as human beings, both professionally and personally. Every relationship needs to grow and mature; to look to the future while keeping the lessons of the past in mind. The same holds true for music. Every musician needs to keep innovating and experimenting. They need to take risks and challenge themselves by exploring new ideas and new ways of expressing themselves. If they don’t, then they run the risk of becoming static and their music will suffer for it”, Nille Nyc says. Listen below.

Nille Nyc · Someone Else

Natasha Ghosh

Natasha Ghosh originated as a professional Dutch-Indian fingerstyle ukulele player, but nowadays she also focuses on singing and releases her own music. Natasha's main styles are R&B, indie electronic, lo-fi, and hip-hop. Her new single ‘Paradise’ is a deep and emotional vocal-led lo-fi track with a relaxed sense of beauty. It's a personal song about romantic escapism between lovers. Lush synthesizer melodies, emotional vocals, and dynamic, but the chill drums make this track a perfect fit for study, Lo-fi, chill, and dreamy playlists. This is a song that Natasha wrote with her girlfriend in mind. "I believe that it's important to show the people you love what they're worth to you. In an ever-changing society where all kinds of stuff are happening around the globe, it's good to focus on the good things.” The track was a COVID-19 project, made in collaboration with the famous lo-fi artist Kid Kio from home studios. Listen below.

Natasha Ghosh Music · Natasha Ghosh (feat. Kid Kio)- Paradise

Olivia Void

Berlin based experimental artist Olivia Void uses her highly recognizable voice and songwriting style to introduce us to her unusual sonic cosmos. Her debut ‘Made for You’ was published in October 2020. After collaborating with members of the local and international electro and folk scenes in the meantime, she now prepares for the release of her debut EP PHYSICAL later this year. Unpredictable and captivating, Olivia Void’s new single ‘Glory to Glory’ is a hommage to our physical selves. Led by the Berlin singer‘s characteristic voice and electric guitar play, we get carried away high and low until we want to join in the glory. Talking about the powers of the self-reigned body, the song‘s unique structure creates a whirl that drags you in. As more and more layers are added or taken away we find ourselves in a state of vibrant emotion. Listen below.

Olivia Void · Olivia Void - Glory to Glory

[yournewapartment]

So I moved out of my parents home to live with mt bf who lived states away. I am now impossibly far away from my family. I'm feeling a bit of homesickness even though it was a negative (read: toxic) environment. I also REALLY miss my dog. Its 5am and I am insanely sad bc I dreamt about my dog. Any tips for dealing with some of these emotions?

It’s natural to feel a whole mix of emotions after moving out of a parent or guardian’s house. Being on your own for the first time can be scary, yet exciting. Saddening, yet liberating. It sounds like moving out was the right choice for you, but don’t be hard on yourself for feeling homesick or nostalgic. 

Here are some suggestions for you. But remember- everyone adjusts at their own pace! If there are days where you need to stay home and binge watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer and eat ice cream, let them happen.

Homesickness Suggestions

Go for a walk somewhere new. Check out a park, a local historic site, go for a jog by the river listening to your favorite new band.

Get involved in a DIY project. Organize some bookshelves, hang up that poster you’ve been meaning to, put some new screws in the desk drawer that will never close properly.

Learn a new skill. I just started baking and I love it. But if making banana bread is not for you, try knitting, gardening, or even learning a new language. Duolingo is free!

Join a club. I am always encouraging ya’ll to join a club that follows things that interest you. Join a book club, a D&D league, etc.

Volunteer. Ya’ll know that there are pets out there in need of some petting right now. Go volunteer at your local ASPCA! Spend several hours a week loving animals in need.

Start a journal. Writing is so therapeutic! Try to get into the habit of writing every day, even if it’s only a sentence or two.

Do some yoga. Here is a free website with hundreds of free instructional videos. You just have to make an account, and the possibilities are endless!

Go exploring. Get on the nearest public transportation and get off at a random stop. Learn the ins and outs of your new city, boyfriend in tow.

Deep clean. Put on some Disney classics and get your rubber gloves. Deep clean your new home! It’s distracting and productive.

Stay in touch. Stay connected to your friends and family members using any means possible. Skype/Facetime, group chat, What’sApp, what have you. Since you mentioned leaving a toxic home, only do this if it’s safe for you and your mental health. But there’s nothing wrong with spending four hours talking on the phone to your friends from your old state.

I hope these help! Lots of love xx

[skyedill-blog]

300 things that make me happy (May 11th, 2014)

  music that reminds you of something good

coldplay

doctor who

wes anderson

arctic monkeys

watercolors

my grandma’s house

my grandma

cats

dogs

my other grandma

my parents

getting money

my sisters

when my palms aren’t clammy

old photos

blogging

supernatural

cardigans

christmas lights

steel guitar strings

making movies

sleeping in

staying up all night

sunrises

candles

new converse

wifi working

biking

benedict cumberbatch

sherlock holmes

family videos

the vlogbrothers

learning something new

teaching someone something new

calvin & hobbes comic books

ampersands &&&&&

remembering something i forgot

full battery

the fault in our stars

tea

coffee

clean dishes

honey

when my sister thinks im funny

getting better from a cold

colored napkins for parties

bad music that you still like

being the first to wake up

grapefruit soda

passionate political debates without bigotry

equality

hugs

when you get to lick the spoon during baking

coming home

running away

strangers who smile back

when you and one other stranger see something funny and you smirk at each other

little kids that make faces with you

the london underground

winston churchill

colin firth

jarred telling me dumb jokes

the tylers

my cousins

when films are remade from a long time ago and they are really good

when films are remade from a long time ago and they are really bad but you see them anyway

appreciating good art

laughing at stupid pretentiously simple art

67 chevy impalas

oversized jumpers

indoles crew

chapin’s class

finding my old clothes from when i was little

the color green

sun shining through the cracks in the leaves

tia

kepler

my family in denmark

carlsberg beer

meeting strangers on buses and having nice conversations

old english women named sally

maddy because she calls me a dork and makes me laugh

my grandma’s accent

my mom’s accent

bridget’s singing voice

getting to stay up when the little cousins have to go to sleep

the kids table at thanksgiving

bread

coloring

finding out that you got accepted to college at your dream school

spaghetti

rosy cheeks

finger painting

days that my depression lifts a bit and i feel like a normal kid again

the smiths

three hole punching

getting glasses for the first time and its like you found god

old cameras

new cameras

101 dalmatians

new york city

being surrounded in books

when i do homework and dont cry

new music that i cant believe i didnt know about

internet friends

getting mad and just swearing like a sailor because damn it feels good

dean winchester because he taught me about love  

sam winchester because he taught me about forgiveness

cas because he taught me about redemption

bobby singer because he taught me that family doesnt end in blood

porch swings

boys

alex turner’s accent and hair

The number 115

triangle banners

the hotel room i stayed in when i was in berlin

trivia

brushing my teeth

morning star farms veggie sausage

during spring when the sun is up by the time i leave for school

lord of the rings and the hobbit

going to the library for class instead

apple products

white linens

top gear uk

james may’s stupid hair

maps

getting confirmation

star gazing

teaching my little cousins about science and the stars

the fact that we are all made of stardust

puns

when you know a word in a different language and you feel really cool for remembering it and connecting it wow im cool

lower case letters

newly vaccuumed carpet

the sound of stapling

muffins

shredding paper

exact change

getting homework done early

mediterranean food

karl pilkington and how much he hates everything

stephen fry quotes

obama

calling my friends nerds

waking up early

plane rides

soft socks

when family brings you home leftovers

when my step dad gives me life lessons

my cat rory. rip.

my dog seeger

les miserables

showtunes

frank sinatra

billie holiday

queen elizabeth II

james bond movies

alfred hitchcock movies

billy wilder movies and how he was a sarcastic butthead

warm paper just off the printer

freshly mowed grass

evolution theories because wow that is so cool and learning how species grew and evolved is insane

colorful kites

museums

tuesdays

old timey christmas music

the thought of moving away from home and doing something new even though its really scary

mac and cheese

when packages come for you in the mail

the feeling i had when i got my drivers license

mr. kato

pirates

when people fall asleep on your shoulder and you suddenly feel that being their pillow is your only purpose

my family in miami

winning board games

when people get their braces off

kick ass lyrics that perfectly make sense

accepting how fragile things are and being better for it

stand up comedians

rainy days that make you feel a little sad and chilly but its good to be sad sometimes

unrealistically tiny things

getting compliments from people you are trying to impress

backing out of plans you didnt really want to fufill

shows without continuity errors

when movies and tv shows say the title of the movie or tv show

colloquialisms

freckles

songs turned acoustic

quirks about people like scars or birthmarks

leonardo dicaprio because like holy crap have you seen that guy act

shakespeare

formatting errors

irony

having a good calendar

a clean house and your mom being proud of you

painting walls

finishing a good tv show or series and having a good cry

books

kissing

oragami

pepper jack cheese

concerts that make you feel like you belong somehow with all these strangers and the lights go down and you all sing

giving a waiter/waitress a good tip

writing lyrics on the back of your hands

feeling like a stupid teenager with loud music and ripped jeans which somehow feels like your own rebellion against nothing

knowing that however old i get i will still be that stupid teenager who eats cold pizza and plays my music a little too loud

listening to people talk

road trips

pranking my step-dad

filling up the gas tank all the way

my aunt tiffany’s house

peaceful people

diplomatic solutions to violent things

pianos

cool light fixtures

film scores

inventiveness

dystopian novels

finishing a long paper

basset hounds

photo booth

clark’s shoes

mayonnaise on wasa with yellow tomatoes and salt and pepper

veggie burgers with fried green tomatoes

nostalgic places

monty python

peter pan

boarding passes

butter

blue skies

overcast

shadow puppets

blanket forts

camping

the smell of mosquito spray

waterfalls

driving through the smoky mountains

bon iver

harry potter

learning about WWI and WWII

good quotes

google because without it i probably wouldnt be graduating high school

when people let me talk/encourage me to keep talking because sometimes im made fun of for talking too much

knowing weird facts about things and getting to tell people

hearing people talk about the things they love

hearing people laugh

trumpets

when people stand up for me or notice when i am being wronged without me telling them

when people remember my name

having a sub for a teacher i dont like

understanding a math concept because it is rare

riding in golf carts

weekends

christmas trees

eurovision

french

plot twists

nice patio furniture

waking up to thunderstorms

witty welcome mats

having the windows down all the way in the car and it's really cold but it feels good to feel something

tom hiddleston

that really nice business man i met on the tube several months ago

booty

getting my hair cut

those really pretty flowers in england

laying in the sunshine on the living room carpet

high waisted shorts

strawberries

pirouettes

lemonade

glitter

the rain song by led zeppelin

those erasers shaped like food

rollercoasters (not too big)

campfire smell

waking up with good hair

conchita’s beard

copenhagen

really juicy pens

horse movies

april ludgate

the sun

the moon

weeping willow trees

acing a test

alpacas

warming your hands on a hot mug

red noses after playing in the snow

watching old movies during a rainstorm

hammocks

baby toes

those pretty lights on northumberland street

mushy peas and chips

wristwatches

scratch & sniff stickers

knowing that even though i will get older and my hair will grow and my skin will wrinkle and scar and this list will be revised… that i will still be me and its okay to change… its okay to run away and make stupid choices and dye all your clothes purple and waste your money and eat cheesecake… its okay because my list will change and so will i and hating what you used to be gets nothing done and neither does hating who you are. things are changing and they wont stop. today these 300 things make me happy and one day they wont but that doenst mean i lost myself. it means i grew. i know that. that makes me happy.

moving on

[ghosts-forever]

My Chemical Romance was an important band to many.

To me, when I was in middle school, I would listen to their music and feel a little bit more understood during a time where I couldn’t properly articulate my pain. Their music, which brimmed with the feelings I couldn’t express, was an inspiration to many like me. Their last album, Danger Days, took their punk rock sound and crashed it against the floor, instead grappling with creativity and fighting against those who dared hold us back. The sound was poppy, fun, jumpy, something you could dance to. The ideas behind this album didn’t reach me until a few months ago, still, when I listened to it back in 2010 I loved the change. 

My Chemical Romance always tried to break the mold with creativity. Some examples would be having a funeral procession to lead to their live performance in England (I believe it was England), or having live dancers accompany a Helena performance. With The Black Parade they created a separate band entirely, and with Danger Days separate personas. Personally, the impact of this never hit me until, once again, a few months ago. What daring, what creativity!

My Chemical Romance has always been a band about change, about speaking out, about meaning something. Personally, I think Danger Days was the album that took it a step further. It was now about self-betterment and creativity. They took what they knew people expected of them to do and went in the opposite direction. They wore bright colors, dyed their hair in some cases, created a plot and characters you could root for. The band was no longer about marching, it was about running, never stopping.

“Keep running.”

Party Poison, Kobra Kid, Jet Star, Fun Ghoul. These characters were people we felt comfortable with, because they fought for us, just as the band did. But Danger Days was about having fun just as much as fighting. While one track (Sing) could be about the empowerment of music and helping others, another (Vampire Money) could be about ridiculing the Twilight films and bands that wrote music for them just to make money.

In particular, the band has had an element of self-indulgence on the band members’ part. Skylines and Turnstiles was written by Gerard Way, lead vocalist, after he saw 9/11. Helena was written after the death of the Way brothers’ grandmother (Mikey Way is the bassist). Kids From Yesterday is the most striking to me, also being in Danger Days. It’s about the acceptance of growing up, growing old, and how “we are the kids from yesterday.”

Though the success and impact of Black Parade is not to be scoffed at, I always go back to Danger Days. It makes me happy, sad, want to write and draw and change the fucking world. With the tagline ART IS THE WEAPON, how could I not feel inspired? DESTROYA makes me dance and sing along, with its sexual moans accompanied with overpowered drums, Na Na Na puts images in my head of comics I could make, the perfect morning cartoon. I could continue to gush, but I feel that would be counterproductive. The ideas of these people don’t fall flat on me anymore, and recently I’ve been having a hard time thinking of anything else. No one else has ever created separate personas for an album, then moving on. No one else has released albums that sound like completely different bands one after the other. No one else, at least music wise, has had ideas and beliefs that resonate with me so completely. With no other strangers do I want to be as happy and fulfilled and healthy, as they created that for others who needed a voice.

I recently started becoming obsessed with these ideas after discovering that the true lyrics to Vampire Money weren’t “we came to suck” as I had assumed in my original, child-friendly CD, but instead “we came to fuck.” I just couldn’t stop listening after that. Their sound is so nostalgic to me. It brought me back to the time when I was losing hope, but regained it through Danger Days. Danger Days was like a new band that taught me to dance and sing in the face of opposition rather than curse my fate. Black Parade was a voice, showing that I wasn’t alone, and Revenge and Bullets was a musical atmosphere of pain and understanding, all of their music stuck with me until this moment. 

I do have to give a shout out to their last releases, Conventional Weapons, which came out in the form of 5 vinyl’s in 2013. Although lacking in persona as with the other albums, it speaks louder with its lyrics. “And if you save my life, I’ll be the one who drives you home tonight… and if they ever let you down, I’ll be the one who drives you home tonight.” So many of these songs speak to the fans, addressing them with love and understanding. Not only that, but most tracks share the qualities that make me want to smile and dance, which I’m always happy for.

Lastly, Fake Your Death, their last song released in their greatest hits album, really brings home their message. At the moment, I’m having a hard time taking away a message I could be confident with explaining here, but the song overall carries great melancholy to me. Where Conventional Weapons was a fist up in celebration of what they had achieved, Fake Your Death was a farewell. I would highly recommend anyone check out the ‘trailer’ to the song. It’s a video that shows their evolution from an upcoming band, to one that changes lives.

And that’s what they are: a band that changed lives. They changed so much. They changed their image, from uneasy, to angry, to cheering, to overwhelmingly positive. Positive in the way that they would cheer for you, make you dance, make you laugh, make ideas. They changed my life, and that’s revolutionary, I think. I don’t want to think of them as a light that went out (“even lights can fade away”) but as a beacon. They did so much in the 12 years they were together, and though Fake Your Death makes me feel melancholic, someday I want it to make me feel happy too. Instead of the pain of losing their ideas and empowerment, I want to feel glad that they gave me that in the first place.

Overall, though, the worst part of my recent obsession, is that no one seems to feel the same way. No one seems to remember them, what they did. When rediscovering Danger Days, I wanted to express my amazement at the creativity they achieved, but I was late to the party. There were so many thoughts in my mind back then that I can’t express now, unfortunately. I want people to know what they did, how creative they were, what an inspiration they were and are. To me, music has become stagnant- no one wants to make something impactful, they just want to make anything with a beat that sells. My Chemical Romance had a message, an aesthetic, and saved thousands of people with their sound. Can other musicians today say the same?

[aly-soares]

Coming Of Age (in songs)

I encourage you if you are reading this, play the song that is mentioned while you read these posts. It makes it a bit more nostalgic. These songs are reminders of important times in my life. This post is a bit personal, Enjoy. 

Age 7: Come on Eileen - Dexys Midnight Runners

When I was young, my parents wouldn't let me watch Disney channel or nickelodeon. I always ended up picking between morning cartoons or VH1. For this particular song, I remember watching it so vividly because of some noticeable features. I always got excited when I would see little bubbles at the bottom of the screen because it meant POP UP VIDEOS. Immediately as the violin and heavy bass line came in, I was like a moth to a flame. I got even more excited because it was one hit wonder hour. I always got excited when VH1 would do one hit wonders, because they were usually funkier than normal hit songs.

The music video for Come On Eileen confused the absolute shit out of me. There were weird men and women  dressed in overalls dancing on the corner of a very secluded neighborhood. The also danced as though the ground was really hot or they were just realizing they had feet for the first time. When the music video ended, I looked over at my dad and asked why they were a one hit wonder. He looked over and said “Was it not obvious enough with that music video?” Even though its a song with an extremely confusing sound, its a song that will always remind me of early Saturday mornings enjoying family time.

Age 14-15: Gypsy - Fleetwood Mac

Every time I listen to this song, I immediately can go back to some of the best moments of my life. When I was 14, I started to let go of old friends, make new ones, and I discovered a new found confidence in my life. I started to notice that boys were attracted to me, and boy was I attracted to them. During christmas break of 2014, I made extremely strong connections with 3 girls and were inseparable. It was a time where we had absolutely no worries at all and we weren't afraid to just be ourselves. We spent more time together than apart, and we weren't afraid of staying in the sun so long we would be burnt to a crisp. This time was so memorable because we all had the same idols and  to realize that we wanted to be like our idols. We all wanted to jam out to Led Zeppelin, get high to Pink Floyd and get drunk to Fleetwood Mac. This song reminds me of being young, free, and very tan. 

    There was a moment in my life that I always recall if someone ever asks me what my favorite memory is. I always go back and think of Gypsy. I remember looking around me and all I could see was the ocean and beyond. I was swimming in the middle of Makapu’u after celebrating a friends birthday. We all had gone out with floaties and were trying to catch waves. The sun was setting and I closed my eyes to try to take everything in. Everything that I was so grateful for. This song has always been associated with that moment. This song will always be marked in my heart because it reminds me of everything that is exciting and freeing when you're a kid.

Age 17: Lyin’ Eyes - Eagles / Try and Love Again - Eagles

I would say that 2016 as a whole was the best year of my life. I went through finding a college to go to, moving to a different state, being in love, and (well what it felt like) an extreme heart break. When I was choosing a college to go, I was caught between either going to New York or staying closer to home and go to Los Angeles. I was caught between chasing my dream, or going somewhere that would make me more comfortable and my life wouldn't change as much. Interestingly enough, the school further away from home, was the one that would've made me more “comfortable.”Not because of the distance, but because of other reasonings. During my senior year of high school, I felt like I was on top of the world. I was in a loving relationship, I was confident in my body, I was getting accepted in to colleges I wanted to go to, I was getting ready to be on my own. After I graduated high school, everything really hit me like a fucking school bus. I was excited to start my college life and finally acknowledge the talent that I’ve grown with over the years. I wasn't exactly ready to let go of a friendship that I had over the span of 6 years, but if you really love someone, you are willing to let go of them in order to make room to grow. It’s really scary when you're young and you think that, that person is what makes up for your happiness (thankfully I found out later that, that isn't true). But I guess you always have a special place in your heart for your first love! 

I began to really get in to listening to the Eagles more because there sound always gave me comfort. There amazing and effortless melodies, undeniable musical talent, and strong (at times) bond within the band, always kept me intrigued with listening and finding out more about their band. These songs really helped me when I felt my lowest. The good thing about these songs is not that it reminds me of a time where I was sad and lost, but a time where I overcame all of my wound up feelings and grew in to a woman. 2016 was a year that was unforgettable, beautiful and emotional. The best year of my life (so far).

Age 18: Fernando - ABBA / Dreams - The Cranberries

After I packed up my life, moved everything I owned across the ocean to California, and grew out of my shell. I started to make incredible bonds with multiple people in my new school. I have always been someone who isn't afraid to speak their mind, and after moving to California, it gave me the confidence that I needed to be completely free. When you move to one of the biggest cities in America and its just filled with people who like all the lame shit you do, it gets distracting. I was going to parties, doing drugs, and introducing my new friends to my love of music. I was going a little crazy in the first semester. I was trying to cram as much “college-y” stuff as I could in one semester (partying and such.) I remember so vividly one night on our way to a party, I had requested to play fernando in an Uber that was going towards Glendale. Immediately, all of my girlfriends in the car started to belt the song as loud as they could and just enjoyed the amazing vocals from ABBA. After that night, we had all admitted a love for the one and only Swedish pop band ABBA and declared Mamma Mia nights at least once a month. Sounds cheesy and weird, but it was something that really brought all of us together. 

    The second song reminds me of a time where I began to blow some of my savings on seeing as many rock shows as I could. The song: Dreams always brings out this crazy side of me that I and my friends have seen only a handful of times. I should probably name her. The Cranberries really encouraged me to go out and not worry as much about spending money to go and see as many shows as I can. Dreams is a song that can always make me think about being in crazy crowds, cigarettes, and the intense energy of being at a punk concert. These songs remind me of a time that I was getting a little too distracted from school and was really excited about just going out and making new memories. The best part about having songs that remind you of your favorite times, is the fact that if you ever need motivation to keep moving forward, you can go back, listen to those songs, and remember where you started, and how far you can push yourself for the future. 

[lanadelreyfiles-blog]

Lana Del Rey: Read NME’s exclusive interview with the modern icon. Lana Del Rey’s new album ‘Lust For Life’ is her most ambitious yet. Mike Williams meets her in the city that inspires her the most, Los Angeles – a place, she says, that “enhances something in me that’s already cooking” – to talk about music, happiness and witchcraft. Interview by Mike Williams. Photography by Neil Krug. It will surprise no one to learn that Dr Dre has very good speakers in his studio. And when I say very good, I don’t mean very good in a pricey and popular headphones kind of way. I mean very good in a “holy s**t, I can hear every individual speck of space dust in this galactic wall of sound” kind of way. It’s how we would all listen to music if we were billionaire music industry moguls. Dre has given us permission to use his Santa Monica studio – across the road from the legendary Interscope Records – to hear ‘Lust For Life’, the latest Lana Del Rey album, for the first time. The inside of the studio is clad with expensive-looking wood. The lights are seductively dimmed. It looks both like Don Draper’s office and the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon. There’s a bubbling lava lamp next to a Bruce Lee lampshade on top of the main desk. The drinking water is perfectly cool. It’s totally LA. It’s a fitting place to listen to Del Rey’s coming-of-age record. Huge in scale in every sense – sonically, vocally, thematically – it’s the culmination of two years of relentless work. Writing, editing, discarding, rewriting, tinkering, erasing, rebuilding. As she’ll tell me the following day: “I kind of felt when I started I was going to be in this whole new zone when I was done, a whole new space. I’m really proud that there’s a shift in tone, a shift in perspective. There’s a bit of reflectiveness on what I’m seeing and it’s integrated with how I’m feeling. Normally I’m just, ‘Let me just put this all out there,’ and then I’m really surprised when people are like, ‘You’re f**king crazy.’”

Del Rey has been Interscope labelmates with Dre since October 2011, when she bought herself out of her contract with 5 Points Records, where she’d toyed with different identities and different sounds. Six months earlier, she’d become an overnight star when her aesthetic clicked and she released her debut single proper, ‘Video Games’. In the space of three acclaimed albums (2012’s ‘Born To Die’, 2014’s ‘Ultraviolence’ and 2015’s ‘Honeymoon’) she’s gone from lo-fi internet queen to fully formed Hollywood superstar. And now she doesn’t just have the songs – they’ve been there since the first day Lizzy Grant looked in the mirror and Lana Del Rey winked back – but also the production, the ambition, the pulling power and the brass balls to make ‘Lust For Life’. I hear nine tracks through the big speakers – ‘Love’, ‘Lust For Life’ (Ft. The Weeknd), ’13 Beaches’, ‘Cherry’, ‘White Mustang’, ‘Groupie Love’ (Ft. A$AP Rocky), ‘Coachella – Woodstock In My Mind’, ‘Beautiful People Beautiful Problems’ (Ft. Stevie Nicks) and ‘Tomorrow Never Came’ (Ft. Sean Ono Lennon) – before driving up to a rooftop bar in Hollywood to order drinks from wannabe film stars and looking up towards the hills to meditate on what I’ve just heard. Shoo-wops, doo-wops, wall of sound production; tender moments, angry moments; sex, cars, uncertainties; opulent LA life. If you squint, you can see the famous Hollywood sign in the distance. If you close your eyes you can see Del Rey looking out from her window right inside the middle of the H. The next day we’re in a different studio in a different part of town, this one belonging to Del Rey’s longtime collaborator and producer Rick Nowels. He greets us at the door with a massive grin and ushers us into the main room where the album was recorded. It’s untidy, in a warm and homely way. He wants to know what we think of the record. He’s excited to talk about it. Nowels is a 57-year-old music industry legend who’s worked with Madonna, Tupac, Stevie Nicks and more, but it’s obvious that there’s a particular space in his head and his heart reserved for Del Rey, who he repeatedly describes as “special” and “remarkable”. Del Rey arrives. She’s wearing a crocheted T-shirt and jeans. We sit down in a side room and both press record on our phones. There’s a book about Manson Family victim Sharon Tate on the table that neither of us notices until after the interview is over. I ask her if she’s as happy as she looks on the cover of the new album. “Yeah…” she says. “That was my goal, you know, to get to that place of feeling like in my daily life I had a lot of momentum. Like a moving-on-ness from wherever that other place was that ‘Honeymoon’ and ‘Ultraviolence’ came from. I loved those records, but I felt a little stuck in the same spot.” How did she move on? “I just felt a little more present. Writing a song like ‘13 Beaches’ – it’s a little bit of an abstract notion, but for me it took stopping at 13 beaches one hot day to find one that nobody was at. And I just thought, you know, the concept of needing to find 13 beaches might seem like a luxury problem for someone, but that’s OK, I’m going to go with that.” It’s a key song on the album. Her voice has never sounded bigger or more emotional. “I usually do things in a few takes,” she says, “but I took a lot of takes to do that. The mood that I needed to convey was better than what I was doing. I knew it was important that I came in straight as an arrow with that one. I always feel like I’m creating a new path when I’m doing a song.” Writing, editing, discarding, rewriting, tinkering, erasing, rebuilding. Not that Lana Del Rey has been completely reinvented on ‘Lust For Life’. The title track, the first of five collaborations on the album (no previous LDR album had ever featured a guest artist), may not come from the melancholic cool world of ‘Video Games’ or ‘Terrence Loves You’, but it’s just as nostalgic. Nostalgia can be sad and nostalgia can be happy, and at her best – and let me put it out there, I think this song could be her absolute best ever – Del Rey taps both at once. Does she agree? “I’m thinking about that. It goes in line with how I thought I was going to be in this more grown-up zone [writing this record], but actually I’m still somewhere right in the middle. When I think of that song I think of nighttime and this idea of, I don’t know, breaking into somewhere and carving up and kissing. That’s fun for me; like the place where I’m not 100 per cent in something really solid relationship-wise, where you’re still going out and meeting new people and all that stuff. And also, this Hollywood-centric environment is still an important thing that gives me life, being in town and the characters and the constant heatwave. It’s a little bit of a cliché – I totally get it; but I still feel like it enhances something in me that’s already cooking.” Hollywood and the sunshine can be quite an intoxicating cocktail really, can’t it? “It can. I’m naturally a careful person, so I like that the ambience… I wouldn’t go out and take a cocktail of pills or whatever, you know, but there’s something about the vibe of just being around that gives me a heightened feeling.” The biggest deal collaboration on the album is the duet with Fleetwood Mac legend Stevie Nicks. Del Rey says hearing her vocal takes made her re-evaluate her own tone. She was convinced Nicks would turn her down. She still speaks about it with a look of happy disbelief that it actually happened. But the most interesting duet is actually with the person who is, in their own personal right, the least famous and accomplished of everyone on the record, but by virtue of his surname, the most fascinating. “I’m a huge, huge John Lennon fan,” she says. “I didn’t know [his son] Sean. I got his number from my manager, who called his manager. I kind of was nervous about what he was going to say. I FaceTimed him – he was amazing. He was very excited.” The result is the sweetest song on the album, a tender folky ballad that gently taps through the fourth wall as they reference John and Yoko, then Del Rey sings, “Isn’t life crazy now that I’m singing with Sean”. There’s a story that goes with the song, where Del Rey calls up Lennon to tell him that she thought his part was perfect, and he says that he’s so happy because no one’s ever said that to him before. He’s John Lennon’s son, he’s lived his entire life in his father’s shadow, and Lana Del Rey has just given him his greatest ever compliment. There’s a tragedy in that, don’t you think? “Absolutely. It’s why I think it’s more than just a song for him – for both of us. He’s sensitive, you know. I assume that’s from his father and I think he would probably say that it’s been… some of his reviews have been difficult. I thought that was one of those moments on the record where it was a little bit of a ‘bigger than us’ moment. I told him, ‘I’m the one who’s honoured, I’m the lucky one; so I just want you to remember that, Sean, I’m singing with you.’” The interview goes off in lots of different directions. We talk about hanging in LA with Alex Turner and Miles Kane (“I randomly see Alex. I’ve been working with Miles”); about her deep friendship with Courtney Love (“I can call, and probably just ’cause she’s done so much crazy s**t, I can tell her something very weird and she’ll be like, ‘Been there, done that’”); her love of Kurt Cobain (“top influence other than Bob Dylan”); people watching (“I’m a weird observer”); detective novelist Raymond Chandler (“I’m a big fan, I love The Big Sleep”); and Californian independence (“I’m a proponent of keeping the country together, but it’s so its own zone it may as well be a different country.”) We end by talking about magic and the power of words. Firstly, Donald Trump. He’s still the president, which means that the hex Del Rey asked her Twitter followers to cast on February 24 hasn’t worked (yet). So did she get involved and do it herself? “Yeah, I did it. Why not? Look, I do a lot of s**t.” Do you cast other spells at home? “I’m in line with Yoko and John and the belief that there’s a power to the vibration of a thought. Your thoughts are very powerful things and they become words, and words become actions, and actions lead to physical changes.” The quirky video trailer that you did for the album (a magical Lana looking down on LA from her home in the Hollywood H, ruminating on the world and the space it takes to make a record) – it’s more than a trailer; it’s a personal manifesto, isn’t it? “There is a message. I really do believe that words are one of the last forms of magic and I’m a bit of a mystic at heart. And I’ve seen how I feel about changing those people’s lives and I’ve been on the other side of that as well – on the other side of well-wishes and on the other side of malintent. And I’ve realised how strong you have to be to be; bigger than all of it, even bigger than your own vibrations. “I like that trailer because I talk about my contribution, which is something you start to think about. I’ve got good intentions. It’s not always going to come out right – it hasn’t come out right a lot of the time – but at the core my intentions have always been so good. With the music or when I get into a relationship, it’s always just because I really want to. That’s what’s at the root of this really cute, witchy B-movie.” You make a point in the trailer of saying “in these dark times”. Is there more pressure to contribute something positive right now? “I didn’t like hearing that come out of my mouth. I have a song, ‘When The World Was At War We Kept Dancing’, and I went back and forth so many times about putting it on the record because I didn’t feel comfortable with what I was saying. I don’t like hearing myself say, ‘In error it’s the end of America’, ’cause it’s a troubling sentiment. I didn’t like saying, ‘In these dark times’ either…” We both stop recording but keep talking about the state of the world we live in. I tell her that I can see more and more artists starting to come to terms with the fact that they need to be more outspoken and opinionated. She agrees and says people need to be bold because there are consequences. For the next hour, she makes silly videos on my phone, eats a messy sandwich and helps me choose photos to send to the NME art desk. She couldn’t be less like the idea of Lana Del Rey that most people subscribe to. There’s a confidence in her that perhaps she didn’t have before, a confidence that comes, maybe, from knowing that she’s about to release her most complete album, but knowing too that there are tweaks she could have made, things she should have done differently, things she’ll make right on the next record, ideas she’ll try when she’s next in the studio with Rick. Writing, editing, discarding, rewriting, tinkering, erasing, rebuilding.

[kathrwn]

Lana Del Rey is rotting your brain

Read with footnotes here.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: Lana Del Rey does not exist. No, since she is the character performed by the artist Lizzie Grant, whose uncritical approach to American nostalgia does more to invoke the helplessness of American apocalyptica than to make us yearn for simpler times. And just as Lana does not exist, neither does any depth to the project of Miss Del Rey. Between winged eyeliner, prairie dust photo filters, and an affected croon, Lana Del Rey manages to be both campy and pretentious, and does neither particularly well. 

Looking at Lana Del Rey music videos, there are similarities which together comprise a Lana “image,” or a sort of aesthetic uniform which unites the Lana Del Rey Cinematic Universe. Often there are post-production filters which evoke old-school photographs of your mom’s cousin in the 60s, references to film and music stars of the 50s, and a misplaced fetish for the “good ol’ days” of America which turns grit into surface-level beauty. 

Thematic focus is good, especially when the singer is a construction, like Lana is. Critics are quick to notice her sharp devotion to her bit, calling her music a “Southern Californian dream world constructed out of sad girls and bad boys, manufactured melancholy and genuine glamour,” or “a blown-out Hollywood production.” Lana has described herself as a “Lolita got lost in the hood” or even a “Gangsta Nancy Sinatra” which critics have called straight “manufactured.” 

While plenty of songstresses presently play with the heights of glamour that women are expected to summit in the spotlight--Lady Gaga, Cher, and Dolly Parton come to mind instantly--many of them inject irony or camp into their performances, their outfits, their presentation. Parton in particular loves to joke about herself, famously quipping “I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.” 

It undeniable to say these three women also play characters in their music--Lady Gaga is not nobility, Cher’s Twitter is filled with political commentary, Dolly Parton is, of course, not even blond. Lana also plays a character, but why is the Lana character a failure compared to the others? It’s not for want of production--many women pop stars are over-, perhaps even hyper-produced to drive the point home about the disinfectant power pop music holds over artists. Lana is also over-produced, somehow giving her music an auditory sepia tone, as though it were a film from the Golden Age of Hollywood.

But perhaps that’s it--Lana, as a character, is reactionary. She invokes a time well-past, and one well-past for good reason. The 50s and 60s were not heavenly for all, certainly not for black people, not for gay people, nor political dissidents. Lana’s music draws on themes that attempt to highlight the teeming hate and anger of midcentury America, but ultimately fail when she refers to herself as “[y]our Venice bitch” and prides herself on wearing “his favorite sundress” but with a strange sincerity. Often times, Lana infantilizes herself, referring to her lover as “Daddy,” or worrying that he is so superficial he might not love her, perhaps most famously, when she is “no longer young and beautiful.” 

That is not to say that Lana is vapid, but she has adopted the veneer of being so. She has unwittingly become a crooner for the past when her worth was tied to a sexual currency. Her uncritical love for glam and grand cinematisme is part of her pastiche act. But because she is nostalgic, and rarely, if ever, scathing when she sings about outdated courtship and relationship dynamics, she shows just how empty her actual songs are. In dying to know if she will be loved when her skin is no longer elastic, Lana never manages to find validation and closure in herself, instead tying her worth even tighter to a man she calls her “sun,” who plays with her “like a child.” Cool and normal. Newer songs follow this same trend, with cuts like “You’re beautiful and I’m insane, We’re American made” doing little to flatter herself, then listing off American inventions like “Hallmark” and “Norman Rockwell.” (The Norman Rockwell thing is especially weird when she follows it immediately with references to sex and then calling herself--again!--“your little Venice bitch.”) 

There’s nothing many Americans love more than Americana and sincerely yearning for a time they never experienced. Lana, perhaps, is the most “I was born in the wrong decade” singer to grace our airways. Her songs make love, even uneven and abusive love, the ultimate goal. Letting summer--a time that is eternal in the LDRCU and, supposedly, California--wash over her and her lovers until the cocaine and ocean consume them. 

Then, it’s no surprise this cheeky political compass places Lana in the libertarian right segment--she is made to sell, to hit some pleasure center in impressionable brains, to be a sweet spot in pop music that guarantees profits will be made from her work. Her songs are chock full of concrete imagery, which allows them to become realized in her audience's mind, rather than relying on letting the listener make their own emotional connections. There is nothing wrong with that, but it shows why the Del Rey song formula is as successful as it is soulless.

Take, for instance, her famous “Summertime Sadness.” From the red dress she wears, to the pale moonlight, to the “telephone wires above... Sizzling like a snare” we can recreate the scene in our heads. These lines are so evocative, so palpable in what they describe, it wouldn’t be hard at all to envision yourself standing in her same pair of high heels.

However, there is a marked absence of irony or self-awareness in her discography. Her sincerity is her downfall. When she sings “Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain, You like your girls insane,” does she mean it. And she really means it. She prides herself on her lyrical tendency to degrade women. 

This is not a new criticism of Lana. She herself has said “the issue of feminism is just not an interesting concept. I’m more interested in, you know, SpaceX and Tesla, what’s going to happen with our intergalactic possibilities. Whenever people bring up feminism, I’m like, ‘God, I’m just not really that interested,'” which is proof that Lana is so massively lacking in any self-awareness that her music becomes pointless, useless, and dumb. How is being interested in SpaceX and Tesla at all incompatible with the basic philosophy of women’s liberation and complete personhood? What about the women who were unable to be astrophysicists in the past, but are now writing the algorithms that take us to those “intergalactic possibilities”? How about the droves of young women who unironically listen to this schlock, call themselves insane, and then have no clue how to be a part of a functioning, normal relationship, because they think they have to be a crazy minx? Actually, even better, what about the bat shit insane way Elon Musk treats women, like when he famously pulled his bride aside and told her he was “the alpha.” It’s just bonkers how popular Lana Del Rey’s line of thinking is. That somehow feminism is incompatible with the fetishism of science? 

Perhaps that’s where Lana Del Rey stands out. As soft rock and easy listening DJs give us “Fight Song” and “Firework” ad nauseum, we have grown weary of the female empowerment song. Any song that wasn’t “You’re So Vain,” is extraneous to the genre of girl power pop. Maybe this makes Lana appealing, if only because she shakes up our expectations. Her yearning is to be submissive, not to be dominant, a far cry from the way many chanteuses have embodied the lyrics of Patti Page’s “Conquest.”

If that were all, maybe it could be forgiven. It would be a sweet rebellion against the popular themes of the day, one that has its problems but isn’t overly regressive. Only, the more you dig, the worse it becomes. Not just the content of her lyrics, and her constant playing of the damsel, but the visuals she chooses to use in her videos and albums are beyond simply self-stylized misogyny. Lana has a nasty habit of racializing her character, trying to make simple the complex legacy of mid-century American counter culture.

For instance, in her epic three-song music video Tropico, Lana appears to us in several visions. Once as Eve, once as a sex worker, once as a woman escaped from the city to be with her lover. The first one is the color of the dream of a flower-crown-era-Tumblr aesthetic blogger, the last is similarly as harmless. But that one in the middle is an iffy exploration of the actual economic conditions of sex workers, but absurdly tone deaf in the light of her comments about feminism. And all of the above is extremely tone deaf within the LDRCU. Is she supposed to be the girlfriend of a gang member, styled in heavy eyeliner and bandanas reminiscent of cholo culture? Or is she, as is inline with much of the rest of her videography, an upper-crust, Jackie-O-esque trophy wife with a listless stare? Neither are particularly good characters to play, relying on stereotypes and hazy filters to get the point across. 

But Lana has always had an issue with understanding the fundamental issues of her middle-distance gaze into American history. Yes, it’s cool Lana has A$AP Rocky play Kennedy, that’s pretty neat; but it’s also extremely uncool to do so while adopting a Cuban-sounding name while turning up the nostalgia factor on figures who, like Kennedy, did great harm to Cuban and Cuban-Americans. The conflict she creates within her own character is glossed over by her, and much of her audience. While critical pieces of Lana do exist, many fans--including myself at times!--get lost in her Venice Beach Baddie persona, and forget her self-awareness trends in the wrong direction. 

With the release of “Norman Fucking Rockwell” on the horizon (at the time of writing), though, we’re going to have to ask ourselves--is that a normal name for an album, or are we all having a collective fever dream? 

[geothefafa]

Find an item to your left. What is it, and what is its story?

i have many items to my left. but my favorite one is the record player. It belonged to my mom in the 80′s and i had no idea it existed until last year. it had been just, sitting in a bookshelf for years?? my mom was going to throw it in storage along with a huge pile of records. i actually got caught in the act of stealing them as i shoved them into my car. 

when i looked through the pile of records at home, I found Rick Springfield’s Working Class Dog and felt so nostalgic because i remember being a little kid in the car dancing in my seat to Jessie’s Girl which honestly was one of the songs that made me the Gay I Am Today. 

But listening to the album was actually a little disappointing because I found out the record player was so old and unloved, it played everything noticeably faster. I was a little sad, but the audio quality was excellent aside from that. I ignored the speed issue for a while, but when I bought my first album with my own money, The Strokes’ Room On Fire, it was unbearable. The wrong pitch, too fast, it was killing me. Saddened that the record player was too frustrating to listen with, I went on amazon to look for a cheap substitute. I found one for surprisingly cheap around 20-30 bucks, reviews said it worked surprisingly well for it’s price aside from the tiny speakers. I didn’t care if it wouldn’t be too loud, I’d be in my room the whole time.

So when that arrived I could finally listen to my new album, so long as I plugged in my computer’s speakers to listen through instead, it sounded amazing. I could finally listen to all the old records again at their proper speed which just felt like a breath of fresh air or a cold glass of water, just so refreshing... but there.. was one problem.

this new player was cheap. It sounded good, but not great. It didn’t have the same deep sound the old wooden player gave. Even though the audio was playing through my computer’s speakers, a high pitched and quiet sound was still playing through the player’s speakers, which... was very annoying if i wanted to play it at a lower volume. I got desperate and went on the internet to look up ways to fix my problem. Certainly, some sort of 80′s enthusiast has had a similar problem when restoring their twentieth record player right? I was right. 

The amount of helpful forums and youtube videos was staggering. None of them were specifically helpful towards my particular record player, but they did tell me what was essentially wrong. I learned the ins and outs of that wooden box. I learned the secrets that Philco doesn’t want you to know. Like how to fix a loose belt without buying a new one or paying a fortune to get it repaired yourself. and the answer is a lot of tape. it doesnt sound effective or even ethical but layer after layer onto the outer plastic rim where the belt pulls, i began to notice a change in pitch and speed. and it was working. 

It took me a long ass time, and a lot of patience, and a lot of listening to Room On Fire to tell when it was finally fixed back to original working condition, but I did it. I have never felt so accomplished. Now, I have two record players. A plastic crap that works I guess, and an old wooden Philco Record/CD/Cassette player that sounds like a dream. Oh yeah, the CD and Cassette player parts do Not function at all. but while in my search through digital manuals and ten year old forums for that specific box troubleshoots, it turns out it was common for those two components to break almost immediately after purchasing it. So I dont really feel like fixing those. More complicated. Another day.