#what the actual fuxk
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you know I’m the first to write and read a good age gap romance (see literally all of my boba fics) but the fact that an actually published age gap romance was advertised to me features A SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD WITH A THIRTY ONE YEAR OLD just has me losing faith in the entire publishing industry
#what the actual fuxk#what the fuck#WHAT THE FUUUUUCKKK#i am so angry and so frustrated and just#ugh
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#bruh...#friend just played. agame called Class of 09#i think im gonna have a mental breakdown#that shit was like if the creators of South Park made a Bratz parody and only had the budget for a $2 visual novel#it did NOT have ANY right to be so well-written and funny yet also disgustingly offensive and depressing and tragic#what the actual fuxk#i need to baptize my brain in bleach man i am in physical emotional spiritual pain#anya rambles#oof#rant#vent#??#2am
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HOLY SHIT W H A T?
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I fucking hate it when I see a childhood trauma comfort post and I'm like omg that's so sweet and then I go into the tags AND I SEE FUCKING 'narcissistic parents' OR 'recovering from a narcissist' LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME
#npd#narcissistic personality disorder#actually narcissistic#npd safe#actually npd#cluster b#cluster b safe#actually cluster b#Xant we narcissists get our moment for once#We are abuse survivors too btw#Yall claim to be supportive of abuse victims#But if we develop cluster b pds we're suddenly the evil ones#'You probably were the abuser and are just lying like all narcissists'#Kys#I didnt even fight back when this happened#I lost all my hope#I didnt see sense in living anymore#And yall fuxking invalidate mine and other narcissists experiences#Because our trauma changed and unreversably corrupted us#Idk if unreversably is even a word#Yk what I dont care
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Everything is very horrible today in an autistic meltdown kinda way so either I'll pop off and draw a lot or lay face down in bed doing nothing for several hours we'll just have to see
#the worst thing is its not just any one thing#its a build up of terrible terrible terrible#and when i do fibally get set off it seems like its over smthn really fuckinf stupid#RAGHHH#i will explain actually cause most of it woild piss anyone off#my whole family is off of school/work today except me#my siblings went to the movies#i had to go to work and work was fuxking SLAMMED#so i had a pretty shitty day already work wise#then i learn like an hour before i leave that i have to pick up my siblings#in the rain#in the dark#and also two othee peoplw are gonna be there so my car will be litetally full#and its in the busiest part of town#AND i have to pick up dinner beforehand#so that combined with evweything elae aboit today was already upsettint#and then the coworker i dont fucking like started fuckung around with smthn#not doing his aork#which is why i dont like him cause he never gets anything done#so that was sort of the last straw ig#anyway my manaher was bejng really nice befoee i left cause i was obviously upsey#but i was like ' listen i am literally about to have a meltdown so i have to go i cant do this rn '#i feel bad about it#but whats worse briefly inconviencing my manager or having a whole fucking meltdown in frojt of everyone#muppets ref ha#anyway#i just wish my parents respected me#even a little bit#cause they sure fucking dont#not me nor my time haha!
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Okay! So! I'm playing in stars and time right! On the switch! I'm absentmindedly grinding to max level because it'd be funny right?
I look away for A SINGLE FUCKING SECOND AND THIS HAPPENS.
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It was just a visual glitch ??? But like fucking seriously this scared me so much
I have genuinely zero idea what caused this but I thought Odile fucking died for a second when I looked back HVSJSVSJSVSNSVS
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#i guess? i dunno#isat siffrin#isat game#ngl only added the sif tag because i would love it if someone who actually knows shit about the behind the scenes#somehow finds this and explained what the fuxk caused this
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WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!??!?!!?
#WHAT THE ACTUAL FUXKING FUCK#WHAT#I DONT EVEN#WHAT???!!#jack and joker#jack and joker the series#jack and joker u steal my heart#yinwar#yin anan#war wanarat#thai bl#thailand#bl series#bl drama#thai bl drama#thai drama
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im distraught, my rook has elgar'nans vallaslin.....
#I DIDNT KNOWWWWW#i just LIKED IT#IM NOT EVEN ACTUALLY DALISH IM FROM NEVARRA!!!!#IN MY CANON I GOT THEM AFTER THE WAR OF THE BANNERS TO FEEL MORE CONNECTED TO BEING AN ELF!!!!!#ITS WHAT THEY GAVE ME DURING MY RITUAL!!!! I DIDNT CHOOSE THIS!!!!!#how in dai did i end up with mythal and junes and this time....i chose fuxking elgar'#i cant#i just cant#how did this happen#they need to refresh your memory before you go into these characyer designers 😭#i could not have chosen worse i swear#not im stuck thinking about rook finding put about the gods and being horrified to the point of puking#just like 'hold on i need a second' and all you hear is them barfing as soon as theyre out of sight#i dont know whos bellara and davrin have though but i bet neither of them are as fucked up as i am abt it#i wanna believe rook heard all the elven stories growing up from elves who joined the mourn watch so they werent totally in the dark#when they got their vallaslin? but obviously didnt know the whole truth until the plot of veilguard 8 or so years after the fact#like i feel so bad for the dwarves im so upset for harding especially as a syrface dwarf but holy fuck theres three of us with slave marking#none of us are okay......#why isnt davrin more bothered than he is by this he seems like he should be so pissed about being lied to#but im also confused cause i thought the dalish elves were specifically from the south#so dmetas crossing threw me off a bit#but whatever i was raised with the dead in the necropolis what do i know😭#i cannot believe this#i need to go back to dai and swap my two main elves tattoos tho i feel like darcy should have had mythals and mahanon should have junes#it would make more sense#i never did finish my beloved qun in that one either#im so nostaligic for that game#long before the traum of this one
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peeby
#adventure time#princess bubblegum#bonnibel bubblegum#my art#big silly grin face is real fun to draw#also this beush no i meant brysg. no...#this beush FUCJING HELL. this brus . okay. this brusg WHAT THE FUXK.#this brush is fun :] its like a little highlighter brush i made but it looks nice for lineart(?)(sketches?) too methinks#had to leave the brush typos in there like that shit is actually impressive what was that like 4 or 5 failed attempts in a row?#okY is that legible tho. i wasnt using much punctuation because you cant use commas in tags and actually i think that has fuckedup my brain#because i hardly use commas now unlss im being serious. if you cant tell what im saying Well thats okay im being mysterious and aloof#its very charming. you're charmed.
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Completely fuckin forgot to post abt it the day of but
GUESS WHO ✨️FINALLY✨️ GOT THEIR DRIVER'S LICENSE LAST WEEK!!!!!!
#dizzyisms#ONLY TOOK ME FIVE TRIES OVER WHAT. A YEAR AND A HALF#Ironically I was not the one to drive home afterwards bc I was too much of an anxious wreck fhdhdhhdhs#When I tell you I fucking burst into tears when the instructor told me I passed hdhdhdbxbx#mostly bc I was already wound up tighter than a damn spring and fully primed to start crying abt Screwing Up Again#it was a physical shock#but a good one!#at the time of FINALLY posting this. checks calender. a week later#I've gone to the insurance place to get my Actual license validated! now I wait for the Card to get mailed in#(Also Jesus POLEDANCING christ post editor in mobile browser is sending me into a fuxking rabid chimpanzee rage. It is SO BAD)#< leaving that tag in as I post this from desktop so y'all know of my struggles jfksdjfkds
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hooray!! 10 followers… :3 thats ten whole people
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THANJ YOU EVERYONE!!!❤️❤️🦞 tumblr is a relatively new social media platform for me to use, and it means a lot to me to have actual followers and mutuals, people i can interact with online!! im not too sure how to do these kinda things, or properly express my gratitude, so have this image instead
i actually drew some idv merc art of him in front of like a cake to celebrate but it looks lowk HELLA mid for sumn i spent a couple of hours on instead of studying for an end year exam paper in like 3 days so idk if i shld drop it or nah (you ccan literally part of the drawing at the bottom right corner… its so (insert subtle negative descriptor))
#follower milestone#celebratory post#uhh what do i tag this#fuxk it man js put the idv merc tags in too ig.#idv mercenary#identityv fanart#if yall actually wanna see idv merc fanart u can check my blog & scroll thru ig#wojak pointing meme
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I feel like i should talk about one of my favorite episodes of tvd aka the Mikealson ball, because my man was so ready to risk it all that night😭.
the way he mocked his mother when asked about his date, but then delivering the invitation and the dress to caroline's door himself, and from giving her lovey dovey eyes the whole evening to sweet talking and complimenting her every two seconds, while trying to impress her with his paintings, horses and promises about taking her to see the most beautiful cities in the world. he wanted her to like him so much and was so direct and vocal about his interest in her which was amazing. he acted like a true gentleman all evening🥹.
( You can't tell me she wasn't enjoying his attention. also, utterly stunning. )
Bonus:
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( he was so fascinated by her beauty. )
#he really did in one night what every other guy she dated never did#on offense to my boy stefan#klaus said go big or go die#miss the days when everything was okay#kinda#at least he didn't try to murder anyone#in fact he was the only one who actually had fun that night#fuxk esther#tvdu#vampire diaries#the originals#klaus mikaelson#caroline forbes#klaroline
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So they're really gonna have syd with a 3 of swords tarot card tattoo and they're gonna reveal it for the first time during a montage of claire and carmy doing couple stuff while we're shown syd all alone. And then they're gonna turn around and gaslight us by saying it was always intended to be platonic
#what the actual fuxk was that supposed to be about if not#sydcarmy nation stay strong#sydcarmy#the bear
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man how do you tell someone you literally do not have the emotional bandwidth to deal with their breakdown
#Like. Hey stop sending me emotionally manipulative texts I keep having panic attacks when I see them <3#stop calling me 5 times in a row when it’s almost midnight and I have work tomorrow#like I /do/ care about you but I fuxking /cant/ with this#don’t text me shit like ‘I’m jealous that you can engage in your interests bc I don’t think I’ll ever be able to again’#bro I am GRASPING at the small amounts of comfort drawing and spn are giving me rn what do you want me to DO#I know I shouldn’t ghost#but that’s what I’ve been doing and I just.#fuck me dude I’m trying to put my focus towards finding jobs to apply to. Towards actually making my hours at my#Current job#bc I have family memebers dying and I need to visit them and the family that is around#Ugh I’m just. Maybe this would’ve gone differently if I wasn’t on the fucking brink already#but I am and I can’t and I cannot be the person you’re obsessed with#Anyways I’m on my lunch break crying in a park and I just want to stop existing#lea speaks#can’t wait to go back and work until 7 bc that’s the only way I can think to make my hours to visit my brother next week#Vent
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the way i literally went from :D to :,( in one split second watching skzflix
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official announcement to all my mutuals: I apologize and warn u in advance that I'm off my meds and will not stop fucking rambling sorry for the literal paragraphs I'm leaving in ur replies I just can't shut up okay love u bye
#decided im om too many fucking meds and have been for so long like since i was 16 ive been heavily medicated on so many different meds#like i dont even know what im like as a person not heavily medicated like idk who i am naturally so ive decided to stop taking most of them#except like the ones for my heart and stomach and shit that i need to live#even got my birth control implant removed and am off birth control for the first time in like 7 years#my life is like seriously changing so much currently im gonna be a completely different person so soon i feel like so im kinda .... weird rn#weirder than fuxking usual like by a lot#THERE I FUCKING GO AGAIN WHY CANT I SHUT THE FUCK UP NO ONE CARES#anyway okay love u bye smooches if u actually read all this fucking mess
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