#anya rambles

[meanya]

I don't think I ever posted about this, but I noticed a long time ago that there's a facial expression that seems to pop up in Lore Olympus a lot.

I can't tell if I just see it everywhere now just because I'm acutely aware of it... I tried to catch it every time I saw it on rereads. I'd taken to calling it "Lore Olympus Face," it's this sort of exaggerated eyeroll + open pog mouth 😅

Am I just looking too deeply at the details? Did anyone else notice this expression everywhere or am I just seeing it now because I'm looking for it?

[crime-wives]

ouat 1x01 thoughts

god regina, you dramatic bitch. “I shall destroy your happiness if it is the last thing I do” ok darling, you can destroy me if you’d like

henry is so small, his tiny cheeks awww

not to be gay but… emma swan in the pink dress. fuck. i forgot how attracted to her i was. and the HAIR, the fucking princess curls. jesus christ her ARMS.

“bail bonds-person” i love her

yesss bitch, strut across the street like you own it. absolute icon behavior, slamming that asshole’s face into the steering wheel.

babe you’re so sad and pathetic with your vanilla cupcake. i bet she wished for family.

not her apartment door saying ‘cast a spell’

“My name’s Henry, and i’m your son” agevgsvegw STOP

her having a panic attack in the bathroom, so real.

once again, her ARMS, i want her so bad

henry’s cute little freckles, i can’t do this.

idgaf abt snow and charming “She poisoned an apple because she thought I was prettier than her” shut up bitch, you know that’s not why

“Oh kid, you’ve got problems” emma swan, insulting children since 1983

ok but the fact that they chose the name ‘emma’ in a fairytale world, lmao

evil queen theme song playing as they enter storybrooke

emma swan wearing the most dyke outfit possible. getting ready to impress milfs

not that there’s any significance, but emma’s license plate is: 836•M4X

snow and charming are so annoying istg

ewww the blue fairy, i hate that bitch (derogatory)

regina running towards henry and wrapping him up in a hug. her eyes are wet. good lord, her first reaction is concern and worry, not anger.

“I found my real mom” my HEART. her face after he said that, so stricken and hurt, baby…

emma’s little flustered, ‘hi’ when talking to a gorgeous milf. ok babe, we get it, you’re gay.

graham leaving bc of emma and regina’s immediate sexual tension. and regina’s eyes roving over emma.

first ‘Miss Swan’ of the show at exactly 21:00 minutes.

emma swan is so desperate to impress regina. it’d be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic (affectionate)

“Sneaky bastard” once again, emma swan insulting children since 1983

crashing into the storybrooke sign like the absolute icon she is

the cgi 💀💀

yay!! curse time :)

emma waking up in a jail cell. she just does not give a fuck about this shit.

her lips parting when she she’s regina, ok babe, she’s hot we get it

LIP SCAR

god mary-margaret pisses me off

go regina, knock over mary-margaret’s shit, absolute queen

“She’s kinda a hardass” yes but that turns you on, doesn’t it?

gina’s so hot when she’s evil

putting a newborn through the wardrobe to save themselves, a+ parenting

henry mills, once again, the most mature one in a situation “You don’t have to be hostile. You like me, I can tell. You’re just pushing me away because I make you feel guilty.”

“I wanted you to have your best chance. But it’s not with me. C’mon, let’s go.” go emma! be the mature adult i know you can be

petition to get emma swan a therapist so she can deal with all her issues (trust me, she’s got a lot of them)

“Look, your mom is trying her best. I know it’s hard, and I know sometimes you think she doesn’t love you, but at least she wants you.” emma swan, standing up for regina mills since the moment they met

mmm regina’s voice is so hot.

her unhinged laughter, i love her so much

“Where are we going?” “Somewhere horrible, absolutely horrible” takes them to maine

emma swan is so fucking desperate for regina’s approval. she wished to not be alone on her birthday, baby…

second ‘Miss Swan’ of the show at 38:43 (i will be keeping count of all of them :D)

regina fidgeting with her blazer pockets, she’s so anxious

first “He’s my son” at 39:01 minutes

“I will destroy you if it is the last thing I do” babe, it’s kinda gay to have a nemesis, just saying

third ‘Miss Swan’ of the show at 39:32

baby… gina is coming apart at the seems

god, not to be gay, but regina’s HANDS at 40:27 agevvegse

emma’s only staying because of regina’s provocations. she wouldn’t have stayed for henry.

gold is so icky.

she’s staying a *only* a week, sure babe, sure.

also side note, i forgot how good the coloring was in ouat. like its very faded, maybe indicative of storybrooke being stuck in the past???

[gamequeenanya]

Unpopular Opinion!!

*lists a VERY popular opinion, probably even more popular than the people who oppose said opinion*

[meanya]

Alright bet. Here's some random assorted advice my therapist gave me for ADHD and depression:

Time blindness is real - If you don't have a calendar or a planner or a timer or something, you will lose track of the time/date and those deadlines will bite your ass like they always do.

"Time over task" - If you say "I need to do X" it will not happen. It must be timebound. Give it a date and a time to start and finish. Schedule it on your calendar, your planner, tell your friend about it, anything to make it ""real."" Accountability is key.

Avoiding a diagnosis doesn't make it go away. Taking meds does not make you weak. You deserve help just as much as anyone else.

Starting really is the hardest part.

Perfection doesn't exist. It's never going to be perfect, and that's ok. Just start it and finish it anyways. The more you get comfortable with imperfection the easier it'll get.

Relationships are about give and take - there should be a nice balance between the two.

You can't rescue someone with a sinking ship. "Adjust your own oxygen mask before anyone else's" etc etc. Give yourself the time, attention, sleep, rest, relaxation, help, care that YOU need before taking on that task for anyone else. You can't help people if you haven't helped yourself first.

Your existence is not a burden. Your existence is not a crime you have to justify to the jury. You do not have to do X Y or Z in order to be worth being alive. You are already worth being alive.

Be a friend to yourself - If you wouldn't want your friends to put themselves through it, don't put yourself through it. If you wouldn't talk to your friends that way, don't talk to yourself that way. You are not the exception to humanity.

Also be aware of these patterns... get acquainted with them. Call yourself out when you see them in yourself.

And THIS. Use this process when you know your brain is lying to you.

That is all. And remember that Steve (my therapist) believes in you.

[an1muuarts]

imagine providing an implement where you can puncture holes in a spaceship, couldnt be me

[meanya]

I'm still in shock about the comment about illegal immigrants eating people's dogs like wtf was that all about???

[meanya]

Tell me how this ad jumpscared me by miraculously OVERLAPPING A COMPLETELY SEPARATE VIDEO while I was scrolling

HOW. HOW DO YOU EVEN MANAGE THAT.

[crime-wives]

do you ever have aggressive platonic feelings for someone? it’s like that person is my friend. they’re my friend and i love them so much words cannot describe.

[gamequeenanya]

Romantic Fantasy

To be old and looking lovingly up at my old husband, and we reminisce about when we were young. It's just us there in the dance hall now, and we share the last dance.

[meanya]

That thing about the breaking point is big too.

My friend came out as a lesbian and their parents seemed to be very accepting of it, their mother was actually a really shitty, abusive person for unrelated reasons. Even she chose to withdraw from her church because they wouldn’t accept her gay child.

But then when he came out as trans, it was a different story. He'd cut contact with his mom at this point but his father stayed in contact for a while, toiling over how he felt about this change. Eventually, he finally came to the conclusion that he didn't accept his son for who he was and cut off contact.

My mom was kinda awkward when I told her I was bisexual, but when I assured her that yes I was sure, she assured me she loved me all the same. Years later when I made a half-hearted attempt to come out as aromantic, she sort of heard me but didn't really seem to understand. To this day she still asks if I've gone on any dates or met anyone on campus. Meanwhile she got very close with my friend and acepts him as trans and understands for the most part that he has 2 partners.

I wanna see Hollywood tackle more stories of parents who sweep the identities under the rug and just don't wanna talk about them or bother understanding them. Sometimes if it comes up, they'll get angry or confused, but usually just push to not talk about it even harder.

My mom may never know what aromantic or asexual are. But she loves me all the same and supports the lgbt community with all her heart. But yeah, she'll probably be asking me about my nonexistent dating life for decades to come, and admittedly that does kinda stink.

I feel like we always see parents who are 100% super supportive allies, or parents who are horrible and cruel.  At least in media or in the most popular stories.  But I feel like that ignores just how many people have parents where you just have no idea?  And even if you think they’ll accept you on a surface level, you don’t know if they have a breaking point.  Especially if you need to go on hrt, or request they change the way they think about and refer to you.  Sure they’re liberal and all, or centrists, or “tolerant”, but how far does that stretch?

I think most closeted LGBT+ kids live like this, wading around in the grey area.  I’d like it of more of us knew that was normal, I’d like if we talked about it more.

[iamespecter]

I have just realized that I haven't posted anything art related in this blog so. have a practice sketch of the Tulpar crew that wasn't meant to be for public eyes

minus yimpy boy because I didn't wanna draw him

[wondrousmay]

This is just Loid and Anya 🤣

[introvert-slushie]

I’m going to have a crisis over this oh my god fuck you Jimmy to the depths of hell.

SWANSEA WAS A GENUINE FAMILY MAN WHO LOVED HIS KIDS AND WIFE SO MUCH.

[carcasscounty]

Hey guess what I found out before my sister was born, so about two years ago

The smell of Meat can make pregnant women Extremely nauseous and sick, especially during the first trimester because of Hormone changes

And due to the fact that they were working with barely any more medical supplies than you'd find in a medkit, Curly's wounds likely smelt like bad meat

And Anya was the one taking care of him

[briefhottubcoffee]

I think Twilight/Loid Forger (or whatever his birth name is) is a huge romantic. I think he truly believes in love, true undying love, soul mates, family, permanence, etc. he’s just convinced himself that he isn’t capable of love or doesn’t need love because, sadly, he believes he doesn’t deserve all those things. He can’t be happy, he can��t be at peace. He has to work endlessly to save the world. He’s punishing himself by denying himself true love, happiness, and permanence (he really, really wants these things)

So what’s happening in the story is, he finds Anya and feels himself loving her and being her father, and he loves it, he loves being her dad. But he can’t have a daughter, he needs to create world peace. So he pushes back and fights against all these happy feelings.

And with Yor it’s even worse. He could be falling in love with her, true love, and he’s blown off his feet. I don’t think he’s ignorant or oblivious to what he’s feeling for her at all. Like we laugh at him and make fun of him because he’s an obtuse, oblivious spyman. But he’s actually well aware that it’s love, but he’s denying himself. Because he believes being in love with his wife, and raising a daughter with her, and being happy together forever is the most wonderful, precious thing in the world. And it’s not something he is allowed to have.

(I think if anyone is confused and oblivious about what they’re feeling and what it means, it’s actually Yor. Her feelings are more obvious to us, the audience, because she’s allowing herself to feel openly. But she is just now coming to understand that she’s falling in love.)

Like, Twilight secretly loves romantic movies and books and stuff but all along he’s thinking “Oh I’ll never feel this ‘true love’ thing they’re talking about, ima SPY.” But then he meets Yor and it’s an immediate kick in the gut, fly off a cliff, swooning music when she walks in the room, I finally belong somewhere feeling. And in the story right now we’re seeing him go through the “Oh fuck no there’s no way this can’t be happening I can’t love her I’m supposed to love spying and the shadows and being alone forever”

I mean come on, this guy right here loves romance. He loves dates with his wife. He loves love. He is trying to create a world where children don’t cry and the world is at peace and everyone is happy and in love. Except himself. He’s the sacrifice.

This right here is Twilight indulging himself. Feeling that true love feeling and relishing in it, like soaking in the sun. But then he takes two giant steps back and distances himself from her, and shuts himself off from his family. They all suffer because of it. It’s like he’s torturing himself and unknowingly hurting her in the process.

I think what needs to happen in the story eventually is his acceptance. He’s in love with her, he loves his daughter. He’s allowed to keep them and openly love them forever. He deserves it.

[meanya]

Now seems like a good time to introduce a strategy to all my ADHD peers that I've invented so I wouldn't be Late to everything!

It's called...

✨️ Disaster Time ✨️

You know that feeling when you wait til the last second to do something and THEN it seems like THAT'S when everything goes wrong??? Right when you need everything to go smoothly?

You're thinking "the office is only 10 minutes away, so I'll leave 10 minutes before my appointment time!" And THAT'S when it happens; You forget to brush your hair, you can't find your keys, your wallet is missing, your GPS is glitchy, there's traffic, there's a detour, you hit every red light, there's no parking, you enter the wrong door, you can't find the room, etc. There's always SOMETHING.

I used to get SO MAD when everything would go wrong while I was on a time crunch. It seemed like when I least expected it, suddenly every object that could possibly get in my way would get in my way. I used to think, "The universe is out to get me 😔 No matter what I do, everything is gonna go wrong."

And that's when a switch went off in my mind...

Everything is gonna go wrong when I least expect it to!!!

Therefore -> I should stop being surprised and just. Expect it to!!

Every time!

Hence, the invention of ✨️Disaster Time✨️

Disaster Time (noun) the extra time you alot for disasters.

If you just KNOW something's gonna go wrong and then just PLAN for something to go wrong! Then you'll always be ready for it!

Because something is always is gonna happen, right? Something is always gonna go wrong. You don't know what's gonna go wrong, so instead of hoping nothing goes wrong and then being disappointed when something does go wrong, just alot some Disaster Time!

So you think to yourself "the office is only 10 minutes away, so if I give myself 10 extra minutes of Disaster Time for when The Disaster happens, then I'll leave 20 minutes before my appointment time."

Your assignment's due at midnight? Disaster Time! Make it due at 11:40 to account for when the [internet goes out / file gets corrupt / website doesn't load / grammar errors pop up ]

Your hangout is at 8pm? Disaster Time! Give yourself 10 extra minutes to [find your missing phone / stop and grab some gas / brush your hair / quickly eat a snack]

Work at 9? Disaster time! Leave 15 minutes earlier for when [you spill coffee on your shirt / your car light goes off / you forgot something and have to go back]

People used to tell me to do things "early" but I have adhd and time blindness! "Early" doesn't exist!!! "Early" is an abstract concept! And "early" isn't as motivating as "The Last Second"

So instead, alot a set amount of Disaster Time and adjust your "last second" to account for that pesky inevitable Disaster, and you'll always be on time!

If you EXPECT that everything will go wrong EVERY time and just *account* for that when you plan, then you'll always be on time!