#what normal healthy person does that?

[stars-and-soda]

Can I be honest for a second? I think my dad yelling at me for crying for years because I was "manipulating him with suicide" (never even said that or anything like it) and then getting yelled at for remembering that and not coming to him with my problems probably has had lasting effects on my mental health that I don't think I can unlearn while still living with him.

[arosebyan0thername]

Life is so hard for me as a queer person who is not interested in ch*ppell r*an for just very normal not deranged reasons, because if people ask and I say "no I don't really like her" then I am running the very high risk of being perceived as either a lesbian hater or one of those online freaks who thinks she "doesn't deserve fame" because she doesn't want literal stalkers at her door, but if I say yes then I will have to sit through her entire discography at every function 😮‍💨

[upsidedowngrass]

im thinking abt liam and bryce SO much rn now. theyre dynamic is so. sorry liam. sorry bryce

[cuntwrap--supreme]

My dog has been having senior moments, such as randomly forgetting what she's doing or trying to walk into a street, and I've been calling her "Mr. President" when it happens.

Like, "No, Mr. President, we can't walk into oncoming traffic. That's how we get killed!"

[elytrafemme]

my best friend (no. 4, i'll start assigning emojis soon for lore followers) asked me about BPD and i told them i'd talk more about it in person because BPD is the exact overlap of my own lived experience (note: i am not diagnosed but have extensive history with BPD in a secret more confusing way) and my psychological interest. but like now i'm thinking about it and generally speaking i think anything that was a symptom towards BPD i experienced has either grown more mild now that i'm out of an active trauma situation, OR has just become part of what i consider my amorphous CPTSD thing,

but i do like. think about the efforts to avoid perceived/real abandonment. and maybe i've not gone to the lengths some folks might with this but to be honest the more i think back to my own personal history the more i realize that i do in fact repeatedly do insane shit to avoid abandonment 😭

[bunnihearted]

🥡

[headphonemouse]

Nothing in my life has ever tasted as good as how I imagine cartoon meat that looks like this tastes

[former-ly-darth]

.

[disasterhimbo]

Unfollow me if you’re unwilling to wear a mask to protect yourselves and others

[running-in-the-dark]

My sleep schedule was great for the first month or so after moving into the new apartment! I went to bed at the same time as my partner and woke up early, too! It felt really good, not because it's what my body wanted but because I've been taught to hate myself for waking up any later than 9 (and even 9 is pretty bad - 'why are you so lazy?? why are you still asleep at 9?? you're a bad person and should be ashamed!' my brain tells me)

It's three months later now and my days all look like this:

spend all day trying to clean/organise/get the apartment ready finally, be exhausted and stop around 21:00 - feeling like I haven't done anything at all all day because it doesn't look like anything has gotten done

eat dinner and watch TV with my partner, often half asleep already

fall asleep on the couch soon after my partner goes to bed because I'm sooo sure I'm still awake enough to stay up and do something fun before going to bed

sleep for 4-7 hours on the couch (occasionally waking up to pet the cats and feel bad for not being in bed yet, and sometimes enough to do something for a couple minutes before falling asleep again)

go to bed around 5-6 in the morning, my back hurting, my brain disappointed in me, feeling live I've failed again

wake up around 11-13:00 and stay in bed for at least another hour, usually more, because I'm too tired and what's the point in getting up anyway

and repeat over and over again.

I'm tired all the time, I feel like nothing is improving and everything is a mess and awful and it's all my fault, and I can't even do the one thing that 'normal people' are supposed to do (go to bed and get up at a reasonable time)

[kafkaoftherubble]

I can never stop scrutinizing every post, comment, or discussion about these topics and wondering if it is about the normalization of neurodivergence and people living with mental illnesses (i.e. "This is also one of the many kinds of human experience"), or if it's just pathologizing human behaviors.

I really detest the latter. It's a personal principle to avoid this pitfall.

However, even this habit is scrutinized on its own. Because you're necessarily playing around with ideas about maladies, sicknesses, and "unhealthiness." When I say, "hold on, this might sound like pathologization," am I genuinely thinking this person is dehumanizing themself, or am I just expressing internalized ableism in the vein of "don't call yourself sick! Sick is a word for the weak! The weak-willed!"?

That is why I'm glad OP added an example to the reblog!

And I'm sure there are many other ways to not pathologize oneself while trying to normalize experiences historically marginalized by the so-called "normal, healthy default." I kinda wanna see what example others/friends can come up with to avoid self-pathologization.

Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.

[sk-lumen]

What a healthy, secure relationship looks like

He communicates consistently and clearly. Replies promptly, doesn't leave you on seen, checks up on you throughout the day/week according to his schedule and in agreement with your needs as well.

He pays attention to your needs and desires and quirks, and makes your life better using said details. Ie. buys your favorite kind of flowers, makes your favorite tea in the morning, remembers your food allergies when having dinner dates, etc.

Disagreements may still appear even in health relationships, and it's ok, as communication is essentual for a healthy dynamic. However, his approach to disagreements is a secure one: each will share their perspective, and if feelings were hurt or mistakes were made, he takes accountability for his side, and makes genuine apologies followed by reparations and direct actions (ie. "I'm sorry I did x, I didn't mean to hurt you. I will be/do y in the future", and then does as he promised).

Promises are kept. His actions are in alignment with his words, and he keeps his words. If he says he'll call you after work, he does. If he says he needs to cool off during an argument and will reopen the conversation in 1h, he does indeed return in 1h to continue the topic.

If you're anxious, he will reassure you and work through it. He doesn't run away or avoid the topic (as an avoidantly attached person would).

If you come forward communicating your needs, or sharing complaints or grievances, he will hear you out and actively seek a way to improve things. He won't freak out, or get angry or run away in response to you having needs or communicating your thoughts; these are normal relationship things you're entitled to, and a securely attached man knows this.

A man that is well-rounded, with a secure attachment style, will have a rich life of his own: hobbies, interests, circles of friends, activities, etc. He will enjoy having his independence and space, and will respect your need for your own. He is not co-dependent, nor gets in the way of you having your own life outside of him. He knows having individually rich lives is important for a healthy relationship. To expand on this, he encourages you to enjoy your selfcare time, your girl's night out, or whatever other activities nourish you.

[suprsingr]

I need some people in my life who are empathetic.

[swordfright]

this might just be because i'm a bit older than your average mcyt fan, but it makes me kind of sad to see all these younger fans scramble to wipe their mcyt fanworks off the internet the second a content creator is revealed to have done something awful.

don't get it twisted, I'm a big believer in rescinding financial support to ccs you no longer agree with or admire by unsubscribing, deciding not to buy merch, or refusing to give them ad revenue by watching their content. if you don't feel comfortable giving someone money, don't give them your money. material support isn't what i'm talking about here - I'm talking about fanfic, fansongs, fanart. yknow, content that fans create for themselves and each other, stuff that's not for ccs.

in the past year (and especially the past week, obviously) i've seen tons of mcyt fans saying they're planning to delete their art (or that they already have deleted) because they don't want their work to be associated with content creators who behaved badly, and that they want "a fresh start." I've seen fan writers say the same thing about their fics. and like, this is fine, do what you want with your stuff, but i'll be honest...it does make me sad that so many younger fans seemingly have been made to feel such a high degree of responsibility for ccs that they're unable to enjoy fandom (a thing that is FOR US! FOR YOU!) or take any measure of pride in their past fanworks.

again, at the end of the day you should do what you want with your own shit. but what i will say is, if what you want to do with your work is delete it, at least think first about why you're considering the nuclear option. you aren't responsible for a cc's behavior, and that goes for literally anyone who's ever had a hand in making anything you like: books, movies, games, anything. you shouldn't be made to feel ashamed of having created fan content for a piece of media that a shitty person was involved in making. straight up, this kind of shame isn't something i believe should exist in fandom, because it's parasocial in the same way that positive emotions towards media/creators can be parasocial.

and also, as someone who's been involved in fandom for a long time, i can say with confidence that creators will keep disappointing you like this. there are shitty people out there. if you're searching for a piece of media with zero shitty people ever involved in the project, you will not find it. i'm not saying this to normalize shitty behavior on the part of creators, I'm saying this to emphasize that bearing the shame and guilt of every creator to this degree is not sustainable or healthy (and it's not how fandom used to operate, but that's a conversation for another day, perhaps.)

i understand why so many folks are considering deleting their fanworks, and if that's you...think about it before you do it. that's all i'm asking. you don't want to create a habit of divesting yourself of all evidence of having been passionate about art created by someone who sucks, because if you do get into that habit, then your chances of ever truly enjoying a fandom again are, unfortunately, pretty slim.

[avicecaro]

constant use of negative language to describe yourself — making an identity out of your unhealthy habits or unhappiness, calling yourself ugly or stupid (especially as a "joke"), giving a voice to the negative thoughts that claim no one likes you (which makes those who do like you feel hurt or unappreciated), constant casual remarks about suicide or self harm that we know just instill the thought deeper in your mind — these aren’t required responses to anxiety, depression, insecurity, etc. your friends do care about you and should. when you need help, your support system should offer it just as you support them.

but a constant stream of self-deprecation, on top of being flat out uncomfortable to be around, creates a cycle of degradation —> validation —> degradation. every time you look in a mirror or a photo and you say out loud "god i’m so ugly. i’m disgusting. i hate myself." you see happy couples and you have to remark "no one would ever love me like that, lol." you’re waiting for someone to disagree. and they do. the people you love tell you that these things you say about yourself are untrue and unfair. and tomorrow you say them again, and pause in wait for their reply (though you quibble with that as well). but this is an exhausting cycle — for everyone involved. part of eliminating these thoughts from your mind is to stop giving them a voice, and to stop relying on them as a way to receive affection and affirmation and identity. it will drive people away, and you will tell yourself that it’s proof you were right all along. it’s not.

insecurity is boring. self deprecating jokes are annoying. saying nobody likes you is driving away people who like you. no one has the patience to perform nonstop emotional labor and they should not be expected to. choose to be less cringe <3

[hurtspideyparker]

If Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lived together Part 2

Read Part 1 and Part 3

Tony: Why is Underoos mopping the ceiling?

Sam: Told him since he's sticky that's his chore

Bucky: It's only fair he helps out around the house

Tony: Hm. Makes sense

-

Vision cooked dinner:

Peter: *pushing around food to make it look eaten*

Natasha: *surreptitiously spitting into napkin*

Steve: *taking small bites with tons of water*

Bucky: *just stares at full plate*

Tony: Well this is disgusting, I'm ordering pizza

-

Sam: C'mon man stop moping around, you gotta get yourself a girl

Bucky: Ok.

Sam: Ok? Okayyyyy! I know-

Bucky: Give me your phone

Sam: Oh you got a number in mind already hotshot? *hands phone over*

Bucky: *ring* Hi Sarah ;)

Sam: BOY-

-

Peter: Ned thought you would seperate your colours from your lights but he also thought you'd be homophobic so I don't pay him much mind cuz clearly I'm more of a superhero expert than him but he does have a 2% better average than me in history so like maybe you do hand wash your clothes and that's why I asked what underwear you wear because-

Steve: *listening intently with apprehension and alarm*

Natasha: I can't believe you found the one person on Earth who talks more nonsense than you

Tony: I know right, it's incredibly unnerving. I'm planning on adopting him

-

Peter: Mr. Stark I have to tell you something. I think Vision is a... *whispers* pervert

Tony: Um, why?

Peter: He keeps floating through my room without knocking! He saw me changing, he saw my nipples !

Tony: Well if anyone's a predator here it would be you. I mean showing your nipples to a 2 year old? Deplorable.

Peter:

Peter: Oh god, I'm the pervert...

-

Bucky: Y'know animosity isn't good between teammates. I think we should spend more time together

Sam: Am I being punked right now? Where's the camera

Bucky: I'm serious. I think it would be healthy for us to bond

Sam: Okay fine I'll bite... what did you have in mind

Bucky: Wanna go for a run?

Sam: *slams door in Bucky's face*

-

*staring at Bucky's sparkly clean metal arm*

Bucky: Dishwasher?

Peter: Dishwasher :)

(later that day)

Bucky: I've decided to let the child live

Peter: YoU wHaT?!

-

Thwip

Tony: Who took my coffee cup, It was right here

Thwip

Bruce: Um, has someone seen my book? I just had it

Thwip

Steve: I could've sworn I was holding a pen a moment ago

*giggling from the ceiling*

Tony: Young man I will take those webshooters away if you use them for shenanigans and rascality

Peter, muffled: Mr. Hawkeye told me to!

Clint: Oh so you're just gonna rat me out like that?

Peter: Sor- OOF

*falls out of ceiling vent*

-

Sam: You're in my spot

Bucky: There are no spots, it's a common area

Sam: Well that's my spot

Bucky: Did you buy the chair??

Sam: No, but everyone knows that's where I sit. Right Steve?

Steve: Oops I forgot something in my car, be right back *leaves*

Sam: Still my spot

Bucky: Still not

Sam: *sits on him*

Bucky: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL THE COUCHES ARE FREE-

Sam: IT'S MY SPOT YOU CAN'T TAKE A MAN'S FAVOURITE CHAIR-

BUCKY: YOU HAVE ISSUES GET OFF ME-

(one hour later)

Steve: Hey so turns out I don't have a car! Isn't that funn...

Sam & Bucky: *Squeezed awkwardly on the chair together*

Steve: I think I left something in my car

-

Steve: Leave the bedroom door open when you have Vision in there

Wanda: UGH you're so protective

Tony: Teenagers, am I right? Caught Pete reassembling my particle accelerator at midnight because he needed to neutralize a miniature nuclear bomb he nabbed off some guy he neglected to tell me was trying to kill him

Steve:

Steve: Wanda y'know what do whatever you want

Wanda: Really?

Steve: Yes just keep being normal. At least I can read about our issues in a parenting book

-

Thor: Ah, new warriors I see! Good to make all your acquaintance. But why are you so grumpy my friend?

Bucky: *glaring*

Peter: He's always like that. It's um, P- P- PMS? Wait -

Natasha: Yes it's PMS

Wanda: He's got it bad

Steve: *genuinely concerned* Bucky you didn't tell me something was wrong. What can I do to help?

Bucky:

Bucky: I like chocolate

-

Wanda: Welcome to the first annual girls night! This place reeks of men, so I thought we needed some women time

Pepper: Why is Vision here?

Wanda: I get sad when he's gone

Natasha: Why is Pietro here?

Pietro: Slay queens

Wanda: Moral support I think

Maria: Why is Peter here?

Wanda: He looked really upset when I said he wasn't included and I felt bad

Wanda: Anyways... yay girls! Who wants me to paint their nails?

Peter: ME ME ME

-

Steve: Pancakes or waffles?

Natasha: Pancakes

Steve: Good because I don't have a waffle maker

Natasha: Then why would you ask-

Steve: It's important for your voice to be heard, as team leader I value your opinion

*2 minutes later*

Steve: Good morning Clint, pancakes or waffles?

Clint: Waffles

Steve: Oh no.

-

Some of these were based on requests (ex. more Sam & Bucky, dad Steve w/ Wanda) so if you have certain dynamics you enjoy let me know !