#the two are just. theyre so complicated and im emotional abt it

[upsidedowngrass]

im thinking abt liam and bryce SO much rn now. theyre dynamic is so. sorry liam. sorry bryce

[cosmicrhetoric]

i don't know if fishman island era sanji is genuine flanderization or im somehow giving him too much and too little credit at the same time. and maybe i was just frustrated that he regressed so bad after two years on Gender Island when i erroneously assumed (after watching iva + co at impel down express that queerness is as close to the ultimate ideal of freedom that one piece is about as you can get) that he would be better for the experience. and i know im going to turn around on him by the time i get to whole cake island but literally brother can we cut this shit out lmao

[kroosluvr]

hi!! as a fellow royal trio-truther ive been ADORING and loving your posts so much <3 you mentioned that you've like mentally re-wired shusumi so i was curious if you had a list of head-canons for how they develop in the game/post-game!! Im super curious to hear (: also any head-canons for the akesumi dynamic would be great bc I hate how little the game developed them together !!!

OMGGGGGGGGG HAYYYYYYYYYY ok so. first. look at this (idr if i posted this here already but if i did look again heh..)

ok now ill actually talk under the cut

note that some of this is headcanon territory bc i just be frolicking at this point

some backstory i fell in love w sumi as soon as her art was revealed i was like omfg peak design PEAKKKKKK i love her so much so i was really excited abt her but i feel like there were so many loose ends w her confidant and namely her crush on protag sometimes doing her a disservice (it turned ppl off from her (understandable bc i also dislike when writers make a female character out to be dependent on a male character) but also made other ppl weird abt her in the same breath....... shivers. people who overly-romanticize/sexualize mentally ill characters (especially girls/women) freak me out sorry

anyway that put me off frm p5 fandom for a hot minute. BUT regardless. i think people often focus on like "shy cute sadgirl kouhai crush-on-protag" for her which on top of atlus's.......mediocre handling of her also does her character a disservice... shes so multilayered!! she houses such insane convoluted levels of distress and fear and anger and reluctance and most of all STUBBORNNESS. i think her headstrong personality is not really emphasized in fandom but i can totally see it (maybe its just me but).

ok moving on to my shsm delusions i think to turn sumire's canon crush on its head i want to make them doomed to never get together. i think 3rd semester is so tense and high-emotion that royal trio are so deeply intertwined w each other:

like they all are mildly-to-a-lot suicidal so they hold onto each other so tightly to make sure none of them spirals and does anything bad. i think in the end they just want the other two to be Okay, even if they themself doesn't. if the other two are ok, then it's all good.

ok back to shsm LMAO i think seeing their relationship as like an odd high-emotion situation makes sense. they love each other, obviously, and provide each other comfort, but the idea of a relationship slips thru their fingers like water. is that right...? is that how it is? like i said up there they just crumble under the weight of their own love. tldr theyre in no place to "date" each other........ but they have their "almost." they're inseparable, they love spending time with each other, but knowing in the back of their heads that it won't last, and they'll have to leave it be one day. "sometimes when i really love someone i leave them alone forever." peak shsm to me. "let's run away together - but what if it's not enough? what if all of this fear and sadness still stays? i take a man down to the river and he throws away his sadness but hes still left with his hands, he's still left with the river (paraphrased richard siken). peak shsm to me. i think they try to treat eachother so softly and gently that it fucks it all up, actually. peak shsm to me. it's not codependency in the sense that theyre not trying to save each other - they're just trying to salvage out some love from it all. all of these terrible things that happened: there's still love, right? there's still love. but the pain can't all be sifted out, and everything still hurts. but they still love. (they just don't date or even talk to each other much after graduating and i think they talk to akechi but to each other its suddenly COMPLICATED. i hate these guys)

ironically i think if you throw akechi in the mix it stabilizes out and i think shuakesumi could totally have a happy married ending. but shsm as a pair i dont see endgame for them. peak for me is that theyre in love and then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget each other (they don't)

(If this sounds ridiculous and stupid im sorry. i just like shoving too-many-emotions onto my favs sometimes (a lot of the time))

IN REGARDS TO AKESUMI i think my latest 2 comics describe how i feel abt them pretty well!!! link 1 and link 2. actually i think akesumi's friendship is a great way for me to explore how i see/portray/feel about sumire, because i see them as way more similar than the game pays attention to. they're both stuck in their ways: sumire in her cowardice, hiding from the incident and refusing to move on, and akechi entrenched in his own traumas and feeling like he doesn't deserve more than that. their self-hatred manifests in two opposite ways but its very similar at the core. they both like. have no fucking clue what they're doing in terms of handling their pasts so that's why i think them working together to get around their own respective traumas is so fascinating: akechi is terrible at it, pushing sumire too far, but at the same time that perspective is something that she needs. meanwhile, her sensitive and observant personality shows akechi that like, you can have This too: a soft, good love. to have someone care about you unconditionally, so gently. you deserve that, too. yeah i can explode my head off now

i did not proofread this.

[shadowscommand]

Hello.. can we get more ghostmace headcanons. If you ever wrote any pls link them too...

:)c YESSS i love talking abt maceghost.. i know ive made a bunch of sporadic posts about them but i havent done a like dedicated hcs post. i feel like often im struggling to understand the narrative of their past but generally i keep the same vibe to it all.

mace is for sure the more level headed of the two only because relationships and love freak ghost out. ive mentioned on a post like years ago hes traumatized by watching his mother stick with his father and i still believe this. hes like scared to be in a position where something Isn't working anymore but hes too emotional to cut it off so he self sabotages the relationship so mace will get pissed and stop talking to him.

in the past (as i mentioned in another post) mace Did also feed into this. he had a good home life but his own personal issues and anger at more outward issues caused him to like. seek an outlet for this sort of petty squabbling. and he found it in ghost. until he got tired of festering and being pissed off all the time and decided to actually like Do Shit he feels good about. and he broke up with ghost.

now in modern times where theyve caught up with each other it's like a weird mash of their past and them both being more mature. ghost struggles more because hes very adverse to actually improving himself and how he feels about himself bc hes like. hes Given Up on being a person. while mace has done a lot of healing.

like the toxic factor of maceghost Is Ghost at this point to me. but theres a lot of love there bc theres a lot of mutual respect and, like, easy familiarity there. mace understands how ghost works at his core.

so like. when ghost is being Normal and not anxious they literally just. like. Click? mace can extremely put ghost at ease with just his presence. and mace in turn rly enjoys his company bc a calm ghost is actually just sort of casually funny.

and ghost does like making mace laugh i imagine mace has a really beautiful smile bc he has resting bitch face so when it lights up it's very special.

ghost also i think would be 100% willing to take his mask off in a room of just him and mace. no special occasion needed he's just comforted. mace has already seen it over many, many years.

because they're like an Old couple i think theyve been on and off since their mid twenties for ghost and late twenties for mace. WHICH is another reason mace like wont entertain the childish picking ghost does theyre literally too old.

but he does play along a little. sometimes. old habits die hard. if it's petty mace will have a back and forth w ghost for old times sake its just how ghost communicates sometimes. emotions are just hard for ghost mace understands this. to put all of this simply.

i will say tho if more comes out and they end up more antagonistic than my current read i will still be a huge stan i love when dudes try to fuck and kill each other 💪🥰💕

speaking of fucking tho. tw for implying sexual assault also i just got kinda nasty sowwy.

LIKE we know ghost has a complicated relationship w sex a lot of his past history w it is like traumatic. i think he was already promiscuous as a teen bc he already had issues from his upbringing so hes like. well experienced. and he likes sex. and he likes fucking mace bc his dick is thick, hes good with his hands, and he's not afraid to be rough with him and take their time bc mace likes to be edged and when ghost is rly into it he Likes it to Last esp if he can cum more than once. he likes when his pussy is sore.

BUT ALSOO theyre both like. verse esp w each other. ghost likes topping more tho. he likes fucking mace for being a little bit vocal and just. like. huge. ghost loves bending him over and watching his fat bounce. ghost would blow off any task and anyone to go fuck him.

but also, bc its ghost and i think if the wrong buttons get pressed in the wrong order and it goes sour he gets quiet and, like, disassociates. and mace keeps watch for that bc he doesn't want to put ghost in that state. its not fun

[superemeralds]

🌷How will they deal with saying goodbye?

👯‍♀️How often do they see the others? Their other friends, too?

🖤Free space! Ask what you like, or request a random headcanon

<- hit us with your weirdest shot?

🌷shadow and omega b oth have very complicated relationships w the concept of good bye. they don't really age or die? omega specifically has the advantage of having very limited emotion and a highly logic mind, so he would not waste energy mourning and accept when things end. Shadow is def still trying to figure it all out. as of rn in universe ofc he doesn't have to think abt it much yet, he's doing his best to prevent his friends from harm right now, and he'd rather just face the problems as they happen. especially in shth he learned that theres no use thinking about the what ifs, because there's a right now that needs to be dealt with. the more he thinks about what differenciates him from others the less he can concentrate on what matters: the things he's got in common. like the ground beneath their feet, the star they orbit around, the wind that blows in their faces... He knows about the inevitability of death enough through maria, and he will try his best to not make the same mistake twice. he's determined to move on. ofc its easier said than done, especially in the conceptual event that rouge would fall in combat or even worse.. because of a mistake that he made.. but there are so many possibilities that i could analyze we'd be here for ever.........

rouge herself i think hasdealt with loss before, and she might have had some history with people that she has cut out of her lives. it might seem cold but i think she as a person has mastered the art of severing. whether its healthy is not the question rn... she def has a very soft spot for shadow and omega, tho as stated above these two are really hard to kill so there's not much to worry about in that regard, if anything it's a worry that might not plague her right now, but eventually she's going to think about what it means to be the one that's being severed by forces beyond anyone's control

anyways i dont wanna get existential this morning so this is where i stop

👯‍♀️I headcanon rouge has some friends she regularly meets in her bar (i'll let it be open if it actually belongs to her or if she's just a regular) and she would def visit knuckles every now and then. not saying she'd like. actually talk to him tho. might just lurk in a bush and stare at the master emerald

omega is a tough one to think about tbh. i admittedly don't have too many thoughts on him outside of being part of the team... this is telling me i need to dig more into his individual character tbh. what would he do for fun? when not with the otehr two?? Maybe he actually is like a gamer playing shooters and made friends in voice chat. no one believes him when he introduced himself as killermachine, they think its just a nickname

shadow likes solitude, but i really like that one bit in the recent twitter take over where he and knuckles stood in the forest for hours watching the plants and animals and hwo the light changes throughout the day while going through the leaves etc etc... theyre both very connected to nature in their own ways and i think they could bond over that. also about how they both prefer solitude. they can be alone together! they dont need any words, they can just exist next to eachother for a few hours and feel good about it. he also most surely hangs out with sonic every now and then. hangingout being racing and having a good fight together. though im sure sonic can eventually convince him to spend proper time together. for example making a race into a trekking tour where they go random places sonic knows or doesnt know yet, and they learn about the culture and obviously the food. shadow does seem like someone who'd like to learn about the planet, and sonic's the type of guy who's super eager to have someone to show around and explore with that can keep up!

🖤oh man idk weirdness is super subjective. uh. i wrote a fanfic once about how team dark and team sonic have a bowling competition

[catboyroycebracket]

out of curiosity what abt people drawing characters as red + mr nobody and then calling it a transistor au do you like? no hate I’ve just never seen anyone with strong feelings on the subject haha

short answer: im mean. i hate shipping. i hate fandom culture. long answer:

i dont like shipping very much to begin with. i prefer more concrete analysis of what is actually in a given storys text. if theres romance, theres romance. if there isnt, there isnt. if theres romantic subtext/implications, its fun to analyze. i might humor the idea of characters in non-canon pairings, but i do not enjoy shippy fanfic. i do not see the fun in engaging with romance-centric media/fanfic constantly and/or squeezing 2-3 ships one becomes obsessed with out of every story one engages with. i find that most people that are really into shipping to the point of making/enjoying "[setting] aus" of the ships they like are seeking substantial romantic threads when there are none to be found in the source story. just read a different more romantic story lol. theres lines between "lets imagine the characters in a different setting" and "lets imagine if this pairing i like was recognized in-text" and "lets imagine the characters as a pairing in a different setting specifically so i can play out how i want them to kiss like theyre my dolls". like... sure, thats fine, but it bores me personally, and i get mad with it when it sort of tramples on the related characters or stories in favor of shipping.

transistor is a complete and self-contained story that centers on romance. it isnt a little template to force whatever jigsaw pieces youre currently interested in into. thats a really sad way to treat stories. aus are fine and fun im not your boss but almost all of these "transistor aus" are not actually about transistor. its all "what if my current favorite character couple was exactly like the transistor couple?" with no thought put into it past "its angsty". it feels like people are treating transistor as a source of inspiration towards something "more important" rather than recognizing it as its own whole work. transistor as a story employs tropes but its just the one story thats exactly like this... there is no "transistor trope". its not a widely recognized work thats commonly imitated/parodied. no one else goes through exactly what these two protagonists went through within the same game for it to be an in-story trope. no other unrelated characters fit the story's exact bill in a believable way, because they are from other stories.

in another life if the game was massively popular and genre-defining (lol) enough to bring that opening pose to an iconic status i wouldnt have a problem with all this. but it literally isnt. its an indie game thats popular enough to have people adore its soundtrack for life, yet very few people are actually talking about the game on tumblr in 2023. people keep posting about their limited tip of the iceberg perception of the game exclusively as a vehicle for unrelated ships. do you understand how frustrating that is??? people feel the emotional impact of transistors story and care deeply for its protagonists but halt their analysis of it there. its "this romance is tragic and i like it, how can i adapt it to my interest in shipping?" rather than "wow, i like this story that contains a romance, lets explore the full cryptic plot of the game as a cohesive and whole story".

i hate those aus because they betray an embarrassingly surface level understanding of red and mr nobodys deals + the entire games setting and plot + an obsession with shipping im too old to care for :/ the main tag on this site most often updates to have one of these aus rather than more straightforwardly on-topic posts. or at least it feels that way for me, someone who dislikes them lol. its really saddening to see an already overlooked indie game with a rewardingly complicated and hard to uncover plot (that most players dont bother to engage with) go further unengaged-with in favor of a butchering of a uniquely tragic and well written romance.

(spoilers if youre somehow unfamiliar yet on my blog) mr and mrs transistor's entire dynamic is born from the fact theyre a famous celebrity singer and unnamed off the grid bodyguard couple in love to the point of dying for one another within their strange futuristic 1930s-esque cyberpunk setting. they have specific disillusionment and despair problems tied to the city they love, and an over-willingness to die for one another. they kept their romance/engagement a secret, and thats why the guy is killed. red is running from robots that are trying to kill her. these are very very very specific parameters. you cannot divorce them from cloudbank + their love towards her and produce the same dynamic. you cannot give red and her man an entirely different set of personality traits and say the story would still play out the same. its not a primarily "singer/bodyguard" romance story, its a cyberpunk utopia robot apocalypse love story. there is much more to this story than its romance, but you cant have one without the other. if you only actually want to borrow the "singer/bodyguard" aspect, just... say that. why make it transistor specific. ditch the part where one of them is getting usb stick stabbed. everyone who i see place their blorbos into this dynamic is treating this one of a kind game's protagonists as if theyre a preset "trope" that any set of characters can fit into if you ship them hard enough. they really, really, really arent.

furthermore im extremely picky with what fictional romance interests me to begin with, and my interest does not extend to "what if we stripped these characters of their setting and development and entire reason to be who they are / why theyre in love and think about what they would be like in place of other super unrelated characters". i dont really like aus like that. they can be fun maybe in extreme cases but i would rather think about javascript. the "current blorbo + other blorbo = 🤔" mindset hinges on how accurately one read the text of both blorbos to actually work. it feels like online nowadays stories are being treated as something to consume, map your entire personality around temporarily, draw as much inspiration as possible from, then move on to the next, repeat. people eat the top layer of transistor, then move on very quickly. its fine but it tires me. also the m/f ships are ''less valuable'' than m/m ships aspect "transistor but make it gay😜" style. stop doing that. there are in-text gay characters in this story. red is slightly implied to be bi. open your heart to well-written m/f romance. or the aspect of people projecting what they personally desire upon ships and mass consuming/producing progressively further from canon shippy works out of their own loneliness (not the case with everything, but yknow.) which i personally find strange. its aggravating to see my favorite characters willfully misinterpreted for projections sake. i like romance in stories, but not in a shipping way. i dont like thinking of pairings i like as part of a maintained list of ships i care for or tags i check on tumblr. my interest in those pairings cannot be separated from my interest in their source material. the tightly written romance in transistor is something i really enjoyed about it. i thought others would recognize how special it is. sigh

this is just me though im mean. others can like these aus and feel free to make their own. its your art/stories. have fun online

[song-tam]

i made several notes during this time, enjoy:

[when neil goes into the bathroom pukes about signing onto the team and apologizes to his dead mom] "oh. fuck me i am emotionally attached now ig"

[on description of neil's last moments w his mom] "OH. OKAY" (pikachu face at the angst)

[kevin freaks out & andrew talks him down the first time] "INCH RESTING" (what the fuck what the fuck what the fu)

[the??????? taking out contacts scene??????] "ah i am sensing a hint of romantic tension"

"me when some dude who is in his fifties calls me a fucking idiot and tells me to call people next time and stop trying to do everything alone even though it is a knee jerk instinct. also what the fuck (in tears)"

[upon neil speaking in german to andrew for the first time] "LMAO" [upon The Conversation and the "Whatever this look was, it was dark and intense enough to swallow Neil whole."] "LMAO WHAT THE FUCK"

no notes but highlighted these two lines wordlessly: "Are you stupid?" Seth asked. / "Yeah," Neil said.

[on random moment where aaron and nicky are fighting or something and then they all go dude shut the fuck up and then seth just, CALLS NICKY A FAGGOT AND LEAVES?] "i am fucjing crying"

[THE FUCKING?????????????? CLOCKING BETSY AS OCD HCJWHCJFHFJDHKFNDNDJFLSHCMWNFKBXMAJDKAJFBSKJDKSJFJ??????????????] i dont have any commentary this is what i did though i laughed so hard i knocked my yarn off my bed

"ok what the hell kind of a loser team is this why are they not playing on CRAPPY TARMAC why the fuck do they have a HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLAR COURT"

my guy slighting renee like ten times "oooh the cross necklace and smiles ooh she must be innocent and not know what gang violence is or have any otherwise tragic backstory whatsoever because she is christian and has a positive disposition" staring directly at my entire family

im gonna go through and repsond to these in order hold on

OKAY YEAH emotional attachment to neil josten is unavoidable. theres just something about him. like you cant not be obsessed w this man its impossible

REAL AND TRUE oh god theyre sooooooo complicated i love

kevin and andrew. have real tension going on ill be real. like whats happening there??? insane

romantic tension. does it ever go past that. well youll see wont you

OH MY GOD THAT SCENE!!!!!!!!! wymack is SUCH a dad and i am sososoososo obsessed with him hes their coach hes their father figure he gives a shit abt them im soo not normal

god yeah no theyre so. like whats happening there miss nora. what were you thinking. why is he a wattpad bad boy

seth and neil. theyre. interesting

SETH BEING A HOMOPHOBE WAS THE MOST IRRELEVANT SHIT EVER LIKE WHY WAS THAT EVEN NECESSARY ITS BARELY ADDRESSED i cant

BETSY !!!!!!!!!! but yeah the whole neil & betsy dynamic is an intersting one i wish i could say it gets better and it. slightly does but only slightly

did i mention i love tfc. anyway

NO LEGIT like renee is so terrifying shes like a silent killer i would not trust her at all in a game of mafia also i think the foxes should play mafia together that would be fun

ANYWAY!!!! glad youre enjoying the next two are even more of a doozy so thatll be fun <3

[speci-society]

Out of every fandom for a video game ive been in and all the shitty discourse ive seen this has gotta be the worst opinion tbh. Like. The idea that there even IS a "correct" option for artemis is just. So directly against the point lmfao????? And then being like "well its kind of a no brainer. You should upload them/let them die bc (explanation based entirely on their own opinions and read of the situation that is presented as fact)." It is so missing the point it hurts. Each option sucks and really fucking hurts equally in their own ways, specifically for you and artemis, and simultaneously each option seems like "the right thing" in their own unique equal ways, specifically for you and artemis. There is no better outcome. Theyre both terrible. Theyre both beautiful. Theyre both gonna riddle you with guilt, and at every step of the way before and after, you're being assured that no matter what happens, you are doing the right thing because you are a good friend who wants to help artemis in the best way YOU think is possible. Its not a matter of which is objectively better. This isnt like, a speedrun optimization or like high level gameplay strats or whatever the fuck. Its a matter of what YOU determine to be the lesser of two evils, and how YOU go about handling that, you the player specifically!!!!! Im so sick of this!!!!! There is so much to dig into w that choice and yet this is all that people ever bring up when talking abt it!!! Which. Not to say we SHOULDNT discuss the implications for either option and compare them. But like. There is so much more to unpack, and trying to evem determine an objective best option is SO futile bc it is ENTIRELY based on your own personal special unique world view and experience. It is entirely that. it is so so so so so just what you think is best and thats whu it hurts so much. Fuck

Edit sorry i have more to say yall but so many people insist that other npcs in the anomaly will be upset if you decide to upload artemis and *theyll* suggest maybe it was the wrong option but like?????? No????????????? I uploaded artemis for my first playthrough recently and during the entire process every other text box from both nada and polo is like "we assure you, whatever you decide will be a good decision, because you are artemis' friend and you are a good and thoughtful friend. We will support you unconditionally no matter what" (at least while ur talking to nada and polo, not sure if the other npcs have diff dialogue for this section). And even when apollo calls and you can tell them the news they dont even make a judgement. They just ask YOU if you think artemis would be happy with what you chose. Goddamn Apollo isnt even judgemental. I have NO idea where ppl are saying these npcs are directly judgemental abt one decision over another? Or at any decision ever at all????? Ik the dialogue and some of the story structure have changed a lot since the artemis path became a thing so maybe there was more of a "correct" option many many updates ago, but when i played i greatly appreciated how non-judgmental the characters all approached you. Bc all that guilt and burden is placed on you just by yourself yknow, Feeling Emotions and Having Thoughts about this complicated problem. So weird

I enjoy browsing the nms subreddit often but if i see one more comment/post abt how "the decision to make about artemis' fate is really quite obvious, its *explanation for either option that still does not make it the objective best option*" im fr gonna start pissing all over these people. Like. Get out of my fucking sight before i piss on you????

[tmabutlesbian]

im feeling rly tired n i got an exam tmr so i wont be drawing more today bUT i can expand on the um bfu au a bit more to explain their characters a bit more

like season 1 and 2 of bfu both true crime and supernatural is like:

jon + gerry are basically dating but at the same time they assume the other does not feel the same way even tho they live together since jon finished uni and they share each others clothes n shit and go everywhere together

jon + martin are very complicated. here we don't have like the um boss/subordinate dynamic, theyre mere coworkers so martin is less nervous abt jon HOWEVER jon gets very moody around martin since he's in gerry's place (gerry is away because of family issues and also he later on gets another job so he doesnt come back fully, only makes cameos here n there).

since jon is just a petty lil asshole around martin at the start their convos are sometimes a bit stilted and tense, before this show started jon was neutral/nice to martin, his problem is that he's not gerry.

once martin gets fed up with jon's bullshit however, jon is guilty and just as he gathers the nerve to apologize gerry calls him like "YOU IDIOT!!! JUST SAY SORRY TO THE POOR GUY, WHAT HAS HE DONE TO YOU!!" which in hindsight is hilarious, it's almost like gerry read jon's mind but in the moment jon got very defensive and admitted that he missed gerry a lot. very emotional moment between two ppl who are weird with emotions so things get awkward.

funnily, its martin who helps jon out with his feelings, a martin that, very much like canon, has a crush on jon. he's still mad at jon and now he's a lil heartbroken because its obvious jon likes gerry so he assumes he has 0 chances here but he's an adult and he gets past that and he helps jon n gerry with their relationship.

season 3 of bfu:

jon + gerry are datingggggg (finally ffs), gerry gets a new job doing tattoos but on days he doesn't have appointments he's the one behind the camera when the boys are filming, on other days its sasha and tim.

jon + martin are exploring their new found friendship and it grows fast like wildfire. they have great chemistry, their banter is lovely, their funny, and more importantly theyre only jokingly mean to each other. jon is very much a suffering believer while martin does believe in the supernatural he just doesnt believe that these supernatural creatures would leave so much evidence behind and highly doubts any footage or sounds. this is also a way to lessen his fear of these monsters but jon doesn't need to know that

martin is still crushing. hard. jon is very happy in his relationship that he doesn't see his feelings for martin blooming, even tho there are (at this point) several compilations on yt titled "jon looking at martin with heart eyes for 10 minutes bisexual part 5", or along those lines. timsasha tease them constantly, sometimes they make the cut, others don't. on those bloopers videos it's more obvious and the teasing is non stop

martin is begging them to stop because he doesnt want jon to feel uncomfy or anything, while jon finds them very amusing, since he's so secure with gerry theres just No Way that he has feelings for martin, even if his heart fucking somersaults and the thought.

season 4 and 5 of bfu:

jongerry going strong, gerry has evolved to teasing as well and does more cameos here n there just because, he's also behind the camera more n more after the positive response from fans. gerry more easily sees his feelings for martin than jon and purposefully abuses this, voicing out his musings to jon just to watch him blush and fluster (gerry's fav part time hobby let me tell ya)

jonmartin are in the same situation that jongerry were in season 1. basically married already but assume there's no feelings evolved. martin fully on has accepted the unrequited love situation he believes is going on, jon is still in denial despite gerry's help on the matter, timsasha are becoming desperate, hell, the fans as well. it's critical at this point, somebody PLEASE shake them hard, they need to see it.

season 6 and onwards of bfu:

jongerry still going strong folks, gerry is way more direct to jon abt his feelings for martin and they (youre not gonna believe this-) talk about it. jon feels very stupid and after watching those compilations is also a lil embarassed but then he finds martin's versions and just gets flustered because "holy shit, its.... mutual?? maybe??" and gerry just facepalms and says "yes jon its mutual now go kiss. or talk. maybe talk first then kiss, yh"

jonmartin (again this is very shocking i know) talk (WOW OMG) and both realize their feelings (very awkwardly let me tell you but martin was a brave lil boy abt it n they got somewhere), they very much did kiss (wrow) and it was very sweet and all before the start of season 6.

so basically season 6 comes and they dont mention it to the fans, timsasha knew immediately and sigh in relief so now they turn to their new victim: gerrymartin, who everybody assumes is one sided, gerry as well.

gerry is a very bad influence so now its jon who teases martin and talks abt gerry very romantically just to watch martin blush. however it takes wayyy less time for martin to come around because. come on now. gerry's hot n shit n also very nice n weird and a nerd, he's like a taller, goth jon whos a lil less awkward and a bit more confident, u think martin wouldnt fall for this man as well?

anyways at this point, martin is at his what i like to call "lil shit phase but like it's obvious this time", so instead of confessing like a normal person, he teases gerry off and on show. it takes gerry off guard at first cuz "???? is martin flirting with me???? is he just being a bitch???..... i love it" but then he hits martin back equally, so jon is ever suffering between these two when they're in the same room, which is a lot since jongerry live together and jonmartin are dating. timsasha are finding this all very hilarious, so are the fans

season 7 bfu:

jonmartin get togetherrrrrrr, yes bitch. jgm polycule lets go!!! in on of those postmortem vids they casually mention this along with jonmartin n shit (they talk abt martin moving in with jongerry) and the viewers LOSE THEIR SHIT. they trend on twitter n everything. is all very funny. n they're very happy together. at this point a lot of the bloopers is just them being cute n gross n also arguing like an old married couple which they then have to cut or the vids would be like 1 hour long

n thats it. im gonna take a bath now. n then do a covid test!! n hopefully its negative!!! im nervous!!!

[notquiteaghost]

no pressure if you do not want to, but that sounds interesting and i would definitely be down to hear about szpd and bpd being two sides of a coin

ok so. apologies if this doesnt make sense i only talk about this with other crazy people, n also disclaimer i do not have bpd but half my loved ones do, but like. all personality disorders are just subgenres of cptsd, right? the concept of a personality disorder in of itself is a bit [grimaces] because it's like... it's a series of maladaptive coping mechanisms that u have baked so deep into urself as to be essentially irremovable but. people who have NOT done that need to watch how they talk about it. and like, how PDs as a diagnosis started as psychs looking at the end result of childhood trauma n saying 'well that's fucked up that shld be A Disorder' and then only later going wait. wait do you think they're fucked up for a reason????

but, anyway, PDs are cptsd. cptsd is when u experience ongoing trauma when u are not done becoming a person so it fucks up the process of u becoming a person. there's an argument to make that yknow show me a well-adjusted person but. cptsd isnt garden variety fucked up. cptsd IS more prevalent than most people want to admit but it is still like. lots of people do make it to adulthood and aren't rotten at the core. somehow my mother is one of them even. everyone has neuroses but not everyone compulsively ruins their own life any time it might improve.

so. so! lots of things cause cptsd! there are many ways to fuck kids up! and the thing about trauma is the severity isnt actually in The Bad Thing the severity is determined by how supported u are in the aftermath. people can go thru some real gnarly shit and be fine because they had the mental health equivalent of all their safety gear on. people can twist their ankle slightly just walking up some stairs n then never ever recover because no one lets them rest to heal it.

obviously, some people with bpd & szpd did in fact go thru some real gnarly shit. but my two sides of the same coin thesis isnt about the actual trauma. or it is but like. bpd & szpd are about feelings. bpd is too many feelings szpd is no feelings ever.

i dont wanna say bpd n szpd affect more neurodivergent people than other PDs cuz. a) i know almost fuckall abt most other PDs but well u see neurodivergent people tend to be traumatised, b) having Big Feelings as a kid isnt a neurodivergent thing. or, it is but i can say that cuz im neurodivergent n it's complicated. anyway what i WILL say is bpd & szpd start at the same point and that point is having Too Much Feelings

theyre two paths that diverge in the wood. bpd is deciding maybe if i embrace the feelings wholeheartedly i'll be able to control them??? (this doesnt work), szpd is deciding maybe i can destroy the feelings entirely (this also doesnt work). also, '''deciding''', no one wakes up n says Today I Will Pick This Maladaptive Coping Mechanism, this is smth u do gradually while still a child and then later u look back at ur childhood and go Oh Well. That Was Dumb Huh.

this is also imo why both bpd n szpd are so comorbid with derealisation/depersonalisation disorder, cuz the brain only has so many things it can do and dissociating is deceptively nice at first, and like. makes feelings go away! bpd is kinda a vicious circle of being triggered into dissociating then coming back then being triggered etc, szpd is What If I Lived Like This Actually.

anyway it's wild to me always that this is a ~hot take because there's this idea that bpd feelings are? only like that because of the bpd??? and maybe there's an argument that everyone's feelings are that strong at first n most people learn to modulate them but. that just rings so false to me. i learnt to modulate my feelings and ive been informed that's A Disorder. i think everyone has an emotional capacity & the upper limit of it naturally varies. i assume there are people out there who don't feel things as strongly as i do because lots of people sure act like it.

uhhhh in conclusion. bpd & szpd are both about having Well This Is The Worst Thing To Ever Happen And I Have To Die About It be basically your only reaction to anything bad, and choosing to cope with that in two very different ways. endless love to my borderline folks i could NOT live like that.

[icecreamkink]

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP��,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 

 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 

wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  

one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 

BAT WEN NING 

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*

[kashimos-hajime]

Could you share some info abt what your obi wan WIP will be abt?? If not that’s fine 😊 IM on a Star Wars kick and I always look forward to your writing!!!

aw thank you!!! i have two obi-wan fic wips currently. 

one is about sith!obi having to work with jedi!reader to take down mr palpatine himself while dealing w their own complicated history/love/etc. a lot of guilt, angsty love, why obi turned to the dark side. also anakin is/was yns padawan and their relationship is so 🥺 bc theyre going through the same shit but kinda like opposite sides of the same coin.

two is jedi!obi and gunslinger!reader who becomes one of padme’s bodyguards essentially. reader was a padawan and fell in love with obi-wan and couldnt handle the idea that he would be just so out of reach but just barely. kinda really bad emotional torture, forbidden love, pining, snark. it goes from attack of the clones to revenge of the sith so it might end up one OR two parts no idea yet.

[youichi-kuramochi]

PLS IM SO BAD ABOUT IT IRL TOOOO ITS A PROBLEMMM 💀💀

also ill try n remember to read both of those! im all here for krry crumbs yisss also unrelated but ive been thinkin about kuramiyu???? like..... difkrkdndjdkfndkkd the fEEELSS?? pls i love their relationship,,,, but also... misawa and miyumei? i think im dying i cant help but ship everything... except amahisa. hes mine. yoink. ok anyways

BUT YEAH SAME I LOVE HARUICHI I JUST??? yknow its like when u trace somebodys art (which i dont rlly like in the first place but i get it ig) to help u get started n develop ur own style?? but like eventually youve gotta do your own thing like- no,,,, u cant keep doing that the rest of ur life. idk. it is hard to articulate and describe tho cus like its just complicated,,

THE IMAGE??? IM????? EMOTIONS IM FEELING EMOTIONS,,,,, like first off... theyre so cute.... i love them!!!;&@((&4!(!!! BUT LIKE ALSO??? PAIN????

also literally the amahisa brainrot ive been having is so painful like i cANNOT stop thinking about him. pain.

LMAO you 🤝 me accidentally leaving people on read

the krry crumbs 😭😭😭 the way I completely lose it over the tiniest insinuation abt the two of them I— it’s a problem truly ladkfgjf but yes kuramiyu GOOD I love their dynamic they’re literally like ew shut up we hate each other and then continue to spend like. every waking moment together lmao it’s just SO funny to me afdgjflk also the way that miyuki is involved SOMEHOW in so many ships watching him interact w anyone is just like. are you antagonizing or are you flirting???? is there a difference???????? LMAO

omg I love that metaphor yes exactly. actually like not to compare too much but like hq dealt with this kinda thing rly well when hinata met tenma like I’m 90% sure I’ve rambled abt that before but like. yeah. moving beyond needing your heroes and growing into something different and unique and more you and like allowing the narrative to diverge is just. it’s good. I know daiya isn’t About haruichi and tbh ryousuke is such a minor character and like. I did this to myself by getting attached to a side character but like. I want this for them lmao even if the narrative doesn’t Need for it to be a thing I still want it

YES THAT PAGE. THAT PAGE THAT I WILL NEVER GET OVER it literally haunts me DAILY I cannot believe terajima came for me personally that way aldfjglkadfjlgj I love them all SO much and ryou-san............. SOBBING

ahahahahaha you picked a good one to spiral over tho he’s so 🥺🥺🥺

[solasan]

15-25 for ced and alistair!

15. how adventurous are they?

oh, super adventurous. in any way u could possibly take that. out in the world, they’re both stupid and curious (truly some bimbo/himbo solidarity here) — cedany a little more so, because she’s obviously not seen much of the world, so she’ll often get distracted by something shiny or interesting in the wilderness and everyone (bar zev and leliana, who couldn’t lose her if they tried) has to take a few minutes to try and find her again.

in more, uh, intimate settings, cedany’s down for basically anything, and alistair wants to learn all he can. they’re both very careful abt making sure consent is a Big Thing between them, because of cedany’s unspoken issues there, but as long as they’re both interested in trying something new, they’re good. they’re a little less adventurous once they get back together, ‘cause they’re both in their mid-forties and have lived a lot more and have very little time left to be together, since they’re, y’know, on their calling, so they’re more concerned with just having each other, but they stay being horny so props to them i guess

16. do they keep secrets? lie? cheat?

alistair is less prone to secrets — he’s big on honesty — but given that most of cedany’s are very personal, trauma-based ones, ones she refuses to even acknowledge exist, he doesn’t often push for more from her on that front. neither of them are big liars, at least not with each other.

cheating is— a little more complicated. during his marriage, alistair kinda cheats on gwenore with cedany once or twice, but given that gwenore’s aware of these dalliances (after the first one, which was a shock) things get a little murky there. there’s also the issue of him Being Married that means he’s probably Technically cheating on cedany, but it’s, again, super complicated. she also takes other lovers over the years, but they’re technically broken up for most of those. by the end, though, there’s none of that. again, they’re desperate to just have each other again lmao

17. what would make them break up? would it be permanent?

in canon, they break up bcos of the whole ‘im a king and i cant marry a warden or a mage’ bullshit schtick, but that’s not permanent. they actually give their relationship a try more than once in the following years, but it just never works out — the timing is bad, or things are too difficult for them, or he has a family and can’t bear to disappoint his son. they do eventually reunite for their calling and remember why they loved each other and just say fuck it, let’s be in love before we die

outside of canon— they might near a breakup when kids became a topic of conversation, but idk. homeboy has that dialogue abt wanting any future at all with the warden, so ???

18. what are their dates like? how long do/did they date? do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?

they don’t rly have ‘dates’. unless like… sharing a bowl of stew on a log by the fire together during a night watch and then sneaking off to shag in their tent counts? which is a shame bcos i rly do think alistair would pull out all the fucking stops for that shit — dinner, roses, the whole shebang.

they date technically for only like ??? six or seven months ?? but there’s a lot of tension leading up to that, and then they have a whole angsty entanglement for literally 25 years after that so…… it dont make cents luv x

during those 25 years they need to take breaks from each other all the time, bcos it’s painful to be around each other. but when they’re together during the blight ? could not pry them away from each other if u tried. they’re like halves of a whole, as cheesy and disgostang as that is

19. what do they fight about? what are their arguments like? how do they make up?

arguments between these two are loud and often involve cedany turning into a swarm of flies to chase him when her throat gets sore from yelling. they’ve fought abt a lot of shit over the years, too — in the beginning, she was pretty certain he was an actual, certified, mage-killing templar, so she picked on him relentlessly over the pettiest, tiniest things. then things were cool between them when they were dating, and then the messy breakup happened, and then cedany burned amaranthine to the ground and alistair was fucking pissed at her, and then he got married, and—

yeah. they’ve fought over a lot of stuff. they made up grudgingly in the early days, usually pushed to do it by leliana or wynne, but later on they don’t even rly apologise ??? they just kinda act like nothing happened, which is somehow almost worse, but neither of them rly knows how to cut through all the bullshit and hurt surrounding their relationship to be honest with each other

20. what does their home look like? their room?

:((( it’s just their tent during the blight. after that, they never share space again

21. do they share any interests or hobbies?

they share an interest in running at things with war-cries ??? shdkfhsk no they share other interests too; they’re both funny and like prodding at their companions for entertainment, and they could also both play with max (ced’s mabari) for fucking hours. alistair always lets cedany loop her flower crowns around his head or neck too, like a proper supportive boyfriend

22. does their work ever interfere with the relationship?

does his being king count as work ???? probably. so yes

23. how do they hug? kiss? tease? flirt? comfort?

hoo boy let’s go

hug: long, big bear hugs. like, spine-crushing ones. they’re both super duper touch-starved, so they sorta cling to each other. she’ll tuck her head into his neck or under his chin, and he’ll bury his face in her hair or shoulder or rly anywhere he can reach. they cuddle all the time when they’re Together together, genuinely

kiss: tentatively, at first, bcos alistair has no idea what he’s doing. after he’s gotten the hang of it, though, it’s usually passionate af — biting, tongues, everything. alistair is usually the one to soften the kisses, because he’s a big ole’ romantic, in which case they’re that gross couple just pulling back and leaning in to kiss each other again and again. by the end, though, they only have a couple of soft kisses — they’re mostly desperate, by that point, and they’re crying during a couple of ‘em, because who’s to know but them, right ??

tease: alistair teases clumsily. he once did a strip-tease for cedany and then got stuck inside his own shirt. cedany was laughing so hard she couldn’t help him for a good five minutes. cedany’s much more proficient at teasing him. he hates her for it — he’s always bright red by the time she’s done

comfort: quietly, surprisingly. neither of them are good at dealing with real, deep, emotions. they’re both very tactile people, so generally comfort will just involve sitting right beside the other, pressed close, so it’s not technically a hug — bcos cedany especially will never accept comfort outright, for fear of looking weak — but they know the other is there. if one is crying, though, the other will hold them; stroke their hair, their back, that kinda thing

24. any doubts about the relationship?

yea for obvious reasons shdkfhsjkd this is getting so long im just gonna rapid-fire move on u kno theyre messed up

25. how much time do they spend together? do they share their feelings, or hold things in?

in the blight, loads. after, very little. they’ll go years without seeing each other, honestly. alistair tries to share his feelings a couple times over the years but ced shuts that shit down bcos she just CANT. queen of holding things in. ok this is done im sorry emily ily

[megatraven]

Who are your favourite love interests from each Lovestruck story you’ve read? And why? I love hearing you talk about the game, your vibe is so happy!!

OH BOY THANK YOU FOR ASKING omg and also thank you for not minding me talkin about it :D

My favorite Astoria character is Alex, which is probably the most obvious one to everyone. I wrote a long post about why i like them so much yesterday :) (but i want it noted i really really adore the other characters too, if Alex wasnt i nthe picture idk who i’d choose bc theyre all my faves.)

For Havenfall, it’s still Mackenzie. I love her not only because she was my very first lovestruck love interest, but also because she’s strong and kind and her heart is made of gold. She’s a giant nerd and a goofball and I really admire her character!! Her route was also really really interesting, the bond she had with MC was so cool! And god she has the patience of a saint, which, MAD respect for her when she has to deal with JD’s latest shenanigans lmao. And, god, you know... she’s a werewolf!!!!!!! How can i Not be absolutely in love with her? Her wolf ears were so cute i could Cry

In Gangsters it’s... it’s a three way tie, i Cannot choose. Rory, Ash, and Chance are just..... so perfect. I fell in love with all three so quickly and their routes have been amazing. The way Chance softens around MC and how he’s always trying to do his best by her just makes me melt. He’s got a protective streak but it’s not too intense to the point that it’s irritating. He worries a lot about being like his dad, but god that only proves how much he isn’t like him. And Rory- god, what don’t I love about her? I think my favorite thing, in her entire route, is that she goes sober. Her drinking is a Character Quirk(tm) in every other route and is even like that for her S1, but when MC comes into her life she stops because she wants to be a better version of herself and it shows, constantly. She’s got so much control and even in her weak moments, she’s not shamed or anything. She’s a hurt individual (i mean, they all are---) but she does her best to not let it define her and it shows. And Ash!!!! He’s so cute and the fact that Seymour instantly loves him made me warm up to him really quickly because, ya know, dogs are great judges of character and all that. He’s quiet and mysterious but he’s got some incredibly funny lines that always took me by surprise. He’s smart and calm and he’s really just such a sweetheart ;o;;

I haven’t played all of Love and Legends yet but I am so so so in love with Helena’s route so far. It’s made very very clear that she’s been hurting for so long and so deeply and it’s a beautiful thing to watch her heal from that hurt, to see her find someone that wants nothing more than to stand by her as she finds her footing again. Her magic is so cool (heh) and idk she’s just. So beautiful and smart and dangerous i’m always in awe when I look at her!!

In Sweet Enchantments, I have to go with Lucien. His character design is my very favorite in the whole app, I think. Teal is one of my favorite colors and he’s got some of the most beautiful CGs. He’s also a lot like Chance in terms of personality, meaning he’s pretty cold and mean at the start, but warms up to the MC. He becomes so soft and gentle and he grows so much as a person, he learns how to be true to himself and not just sell out to a bunch of rowdy fans. All his little gestures to show MC how much he loves her is also very sweet and i just.... he’s so good. He got what was basically two proposals in his route, too, which i was SO in love with. The first is without a ring and when he’s still working off his sentence, but he tells MC that he knows he wants to spend his life with her, if she’ll just wait a little while longer. And then later he Really gets to propose and it made my heart soar, it was so beautiful, it was perfect ;O;;;;

In Sin With Me, Cal is my big big big favorite. Cal comes off as kinda mean, but it’s a facade you get to see through almost immediately in his route. He’s mean because he leads a dangerous life and wants to keep people away, because he cant trust them. But then he’ll buy you the item you guys were fighting over, and he’ll catch you when you’re about to fall in a cafe, and he’ll make sure you get home safely. His relationship with the other troupe members is also very sweet- he’s best friends with Onyx and it’s always one of my favorite interactions in any route. And the way he’s so sweet and kind to Avi? To Malakai’s mom and MC’s mom? He’s got such a good heart underneath his snark!!! He cares so much!!!

For Reigning Passions, it is without a doubt Xenia. My reasons for her are less complicated: she’s a SPIDER LADY with FOUR ARMS and PRETTY SILVER EYES W BLACK SCLERA, how   could i NOT be head over heels for her omg???? She’s who i’ve been waiting all my life for. But also, she’s so mysterious her whole thing is so cool. Mistress of spies? That’s the coolest title ever and I Am In Love With Her.

In Wicked Lawless Love im gonna have to go with Cecelia at the moment, although I still havent finished her OR Nathan’s S1s yet. She’s a vampire so??? Of course Im gonna pick her. Her thing with music is really fascinating and when she played the piano at the saloon to the tune of MC’s heartbeat? I nearly fainted lemme tell you, that is Exactly the kind of vampire shenanigans i need in my life.

Villainous Nights is hard because i legit love all of them so much I genuinely dont know if I can pick here. Their routes are all so interesting and unique, especially the MC and how her powers develop in each of them.Can I just pick Andi, Juliette, and Lorelei? Because I wanan pick all three of them. AND ALSO SHOUTOUT TO DUKE AND ZEKE AND RENZEI but especially Zeke and Duke. (Zeke’s special story had me sobbing btw i love him.) Andi is SO FUN and energetic and perky but she’s also like lowkey Wild and Dangerous and i loved that so much about her. Juliette is a giant giant giant nerd and a walking meme and her Bat suit is so freakin cool, I love everything abt her and her powers and EVEYRHTING. And Lorelei... she was the first VN character i played through and god she was amazing. She’s blunt and definitely a silent type, but she has such strong emotions and she’s got so much love. She was hurt so badly and it makes my heart ache but I can only love her more for it and how she works through that pain to be stronger than it. She’s so so strong i have. so much respect for lorelei.

I think thats it for the stories i’ve played all of or parts of!!! Honorable mentions go out to Serena and Vivienne and Zoe and Sofia andd Ellis and Antares! I havent played any of those stories yet but I did play the first free episodes and liked them most!

[archived--hell]

1, 2, 17, honestly all of them if you’re up to it

1 - already answered 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

L O R D T jupiter fuck man got damn id die for jupiter 

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

i have adopted characters before, but ive never done anything with them, and i have received characters Back from people but besides that nah

4. A character you rarely talk about?

HI PLEASE I BEG OF YOU ASK ABOUT THE GODS PLE AS E IM DYING

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

fuck uh.. honestly if its only semi popular would i do this bc being Well Known would be nice, yeah, but.. it scares me? idk but uh probably leo or aero, theyre two boys i hold close to my heart

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

:) eldur and leo kinda? idk i try not to make any of them look alike rip

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

YES! theyre actually all part of one universe called cooking with demons! i have a whole game planned out for the man cast kinda? but all in all its all set within one universe, with multiple different stories occurring within it jhfdksg

8 - already answered

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

unless specfifically made for them upon request, no. ive already tried that once and it lead to me losing any and all control i had over my characters. At this moment, i only “share” a few ocs with my boyfriend @coffee-burglar and even then, its taken almost a year to even be able to do that

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

uh, all of them are kinda complicated for me, but as of right now, that would go to leos full form. (if u want a ref hmu and ill post it, but it wont be my art)

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

like a ray of sunshine? yeah! angel and stitch would fit perfectly for that!

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

@coffee-burglar their oc chrome n koh,  or derek but thats bc im a hoe

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

aero, jhor, innis, leo are all trouble makers to some degree, leo being the most trouble some

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

uhhhh fuck what counts as tragic?

i guess id have to say leo or jupiter mostly, but eldur fits too

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

if youd let me i would yell about these fucks for hours on end, ive done it

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

the best but wouldnt enjoy it: Jupiterthe best and would absolutely enjoy it: colby

17. Any OC OTPs?

stitch/lavaaero/kohcolby/derek/inniswill/happiness aeyr/Eberictderek/Xhaztolleo/eldur

18. Any OC crackships?

jhfkdfsjghdfkjhgdkfjsgl i never talk abt it but will/aero is fucking A+

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

ah,, leo. i originally made him to project the worst in myself onto, and because of that ive made his life a living shit hole. but,, recently ive been hell bent on giving him a good ending, one where he heals, and lives his life ok, where he finally, finally has a chance to be happy and get help. its,, kind of been a tiny growing point for me? he just, means a lot to me because of that haha

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

uhhh all of their voice claims are songs n such but only a few of them actually sing in canon! heres the voice claims of the ones who do sing:

Aero - thats his voice, but hed probably more likely to sing Something Like ThisAngelStitch - this is her voice! but shed be much more likely to sing something a lot more upbeat, kind of like thisColby (its jeremy from bmc jghfdkg)

and one i dont have a voice claim for yet that does sing canonically is Sycamore! 

21. Your most artistic OC

!!!! oh thatd easily be will! hes nothing professional at all, but he does enjoy drawing and making diy type projects :0c hazels also artistic but with food :0c but what would you expect from a kitchen witch

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

Hi My Names Skinny Penis And No One Has Ever Even Looked At My Ocs For More Than Two Seconds

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

lordt all of them would fit that, but the one thats changed the most? lordy thatd probably be will! he used to be a persona that was mostly only interested in dying and getting fucked, but now hes? evolved into a fully fledged character, and has even changed from being human lmao

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

jupiter, simply because he is The Biggest Comfort i have. hes,,, really important to me and i love him a lot

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

:) its bold of you to assume they dont all resemble me in some way. the most though? damian. lazy motherfucker with 200 emotional issues and no motivation to fix any of them

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

…yeah.

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

Nope, most tend to be born from ideas spawned by me n my bf concepting about my ocs, and what would happen if this thing happened? yknow?

28. Your most dangerous OC?

He has yet to be revealed >:)c his names icarus

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

INNIS, GOD INNIS WOULD AND HED PROBABLY DIE

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

secret: damiannot so secret: colby

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

uHHhhHh 

damian would probably have a very shitty coded blog theme (or default) and would genuinely only reblog shitty, abstract memes, and nice food recipes for hazel to make him

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

protagonist? if youre going for the scared baby, colby. if ur going for the stoic “thats weird but ok” one, innis or aero.antagonist tho???? Leo and angelica :)

33. Your shyest OC?

uh, a oc thats genuinely shy and not just anxiety filled? angel :0c shes had a very limited interaction pool with anything thats not other angels so she tends to shy away from others bc she really, really doesnt want to get into awkward situations

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Jupiter and leo!

35. Any sibling characters?

Jupiter, leo, angelica, damian, eldur

jupiter, leo, damian, and angelica are all related via their dad, while eldur is related to damian via their mom

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

uhh if im understanding this question right yeah i do! derek, koh, n a lot of others belong to @coffee-burglar ! ive just roped them into my universe dkjfhkdjgh

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

Op All Of My Characters Are Inhuman

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

surprisingly? aero! hes got really good rhythm and can actually dance really well, its kinda scary

39. Introduce any character you want

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Ill let yall have a choice, pick one

1.) Lust2.) Greed

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

fond?? uh,, not really. but damian does have a very important memory attached to him.

tw for suicide ment hjgkdfs

with damian, i created him after i tried to kill myself and was stuck in a mental hospital. i had just finished reaing the first shadowhunters book, and decided to try and draw the first demon(???? was that what he was?? im a dumbass and its been over 2 years) you met, which had bright blue hair and if i remember correctly, electric green eyes? but yeah. i made him to cope with all the mental stress i had while being forced to be in that hospital, and hes become very close to my heart because of that

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

!!!!!!!!! yeah!!! my boyfriends drawn damian and most of my characters bgjkfdhgkfdsgl but one i do hold close to my heart (bc at the time, i barely knew them) was when @stuck-in-the-ghost-zone drew aeyr! it made me really happy tbh. i still have it saved to my phone actually!!!

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

uhhhh,,, provided that they found a way to get anything involving earth and their beliefs itd probably be either angel or colby. angel enjoys learning anything and everything she can, while colby enjoys hearing about the Tea™ that comes with greek shit

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

lordt ok

i really just? enjoy making demons really, or anything that doesnt quite fit “conveniently attractive” in at least one form they have. (i also favor making guys bc im Gay)

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

how well theyre coming together, for so long, their stories have been little fractures and pieces that never fit together. Fragments. but now, theyre almost fully put together and its… wonderful to see

45. A character you no longer use?

a hi have.. one. their name was angel aura, a steven universe oc. i got rid of them because of too many.. bad things.

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

not directly, but yes. it.. actually helped me give a lot of them a ok life, or at least a good ending

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

@coffee-burglar eldur, colby, will n a few others lmao

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

ELDUR GOD ELDUR PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE THIS KID BACK TO HIS MOM

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

damian

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

ghjkfgkfdhgklfjhglkjdfhgslfjdgh give me a actual thing to talk about bc im dying op