#soo something is obviously still wrong with me and I hate it

[azulpitlane]

epilogue l fc43

epilogue for we can't be friends💘: in which you are coparenting with franco while he's still trying everything to prove his love for you

part one, part two

🔒yourusername

liked by francolapinto, alexpriv and 286 others

yourusername so in loveee

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user bring her to argentina already i wanna meet her😩

user too cute

francolapinto amazing, gorgeous, perfect😍 oh and lucia is there too

alexpriv ?!?!?! is this your version of your compliment

yourusername thank you for insulting our daughter

alexpriv get his ass

francolapinto WAIT NO THAT CAME OUT WRONG ARGGHHH

alexpriv so nice and peaceful like why would a man be there

francolapinto 😐

francolapinto

liked by alexpriv, lando and 1,639,027 others

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user no caption or anything like okay!

user idk why this being posted with no context is sending me

user OMG A Y/N SIGHTING

user i thought y/n went public for a second

alexpriv mine

francolapinto 😡

user how does she look so good postpartum omg

yourusername ?

francolapinto you just looked beautiful here

user awww this is actually soo cute (whens it gonna be my turn😔)

user franco's loverboy era, thought id never see the day

user does bro know the qatar grand prix is in less than a week

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yourusername posted a story

193 views

alexpriv WE MUST STAY FOCUSED BROTHERS WE MUST STAY FOCUSED

alexpriv REMEMBER ALL THE EVIL CRIMES HE COMMITTED

yourusername 😭😭😭

yourusername am i stupid to think hes actually sorry?

alexpriv you’re not stupid. you just have a really really really soft heart. especially for him🤢

yourusername i hate it here

alexpriv ill be honest and give him SOME credit (even though its physically hurting me) but i do think hes sorry too. that doesnt mean you have to forgive if you dont want to though

yourusername yeah i told him i cant promise anything just yet

alexpriv good. hes gotta earn it

yourusername then he proceeded to invite me to the abu dhabi gp😭

alexpriv um what

yourusername he said i deserved a small break and offered to fly me out, have someone watch lucia, and just let me relax. like we used to.

alexpriv ugh. thats actually really thoughtful. i hate thats hes being a decent human rn

yourusername same

alexpriv my first instinct was to tell you not to go. but if you do go…

alexpriv does that mean lucia will be mine for a whole weekend😍😍😍

yourusername obviously. who else?

alexpriv then that sounds like an amazing idea!

yourusername fake loyalty.

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francolapinto

liked by yourusername and 930,529 others

francolapinto p3. nice way to end the season🏆

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user don't ever get rid of y/n😭 she's your lucky charm liked by author

user bro knew he had to show out in front of his girl

user was this masterclass fueled by y/n's presence be honest

user love how all these comments are about y/n

user you guys are so cute, im following you home🤣

user do you guys need a nanny, i volunteer

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yourusername posted a story

382 views

alexpriv this looks like a date night outfit...

yourusername shut up😭 other people will be there

alexpriv whatever you sayyy

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🔒yourusername

liked by francolapinto and 238 others

yourusername chat i folded😔

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user I KNEW IT

user i honestly could tell since high school this was how it was gonna end

alexpriv NOOOOOOO

alexpriv i knew something was off when you came back home

yourusername i was gonna tell you i swear

alexpriv i feel like i just got shot

yourusername 😭

francolapinto mine forever hehehe liked by author

alexpriv girl whatever

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francolapinto

liked by yourusername, lando, and 1,392,329 others

francolapinto my favorite girls

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user arghaghfgh someone tell baby y/n and franco that they now have a baby of their own

user WAIT HE FINALLY CONFIRMED THE BABYS GENDER AWW

user future f1 academy champion lets gooo

user i love it when hot people date

yourusername you wanna do your favorite girl a favor and change your other favorite girl's diaper?😊

francolapinto fine...

user LMFAOO i love y/n

user my parasocial relationship with these two is getting out of hand cause why did i tear up of the thought of them raising a baby together

user the way it was suppose to end🥹 so cute

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[bumblehoneybee]

I saw you take requests and I was soo happy!! I rlly loved that “easy smiles” Drabble u wrote abt curly n reader, so I’d like to request (pre-crash) having a late night conversation with him where reader is getting burnt out/struggling mentally and he can kind of tell? Romantic/platonic r both fine, maybe js some comfort from our fav captain? :) augehghh i want a hug from him so bad. if u don’t feel like writing this that’s more than okay, have a great timezone!! <3

You Can Talk To Me

He doesn't mean to catch you in such a vulnerable moment.

Curly only meant to get some water after hitting the john, but as he shuffles into the lounge, all he can hear is your shaky breathing. He blinks the sleep from his eyes, heart picking up speed as he spots you sat on the couch with your head tilted over the back, staring up at the ceiling.

You only notice him when he calls your name, stood at the edge of the couch.

"Ah," you snap your head up, obviously twinging the muscles of your neck, "oof." You rub the knots out, flashing a weak smile for Curly as he settles onto the couch next to you. "Aha. . . hi, Captain."

"Are you okay?" Curly asks, hands raised and unsure of what to do. Anya is asleep, and he's no real doctor himself, so the options for immediate help are limited.

"Oh, I'm fine." You waft your free hand at him. The lights of the fake window douse your skin in an almost sickly color, like all the blood is gone from your face. Your eyes look dull too. "Just, y'know. . ."

There's a long pause. Seems you can't think of anything to make an excuse out of.

Curly sits next to you, and tries to think. You've always been so. . . jolly, quick with jokes and ideas to lighten the mood. He knows you can't always be happy, but he's never been privy to the moments when your guard falls. This is a first for him, and he's surprisingly nervous.

He's comforted most everyone on this ship. He knows how to do it. So why does the thought of comforting you and doing it wrong scare him so much?

"You know. . ." Curly starts, frantically grasping at the words that are usually so easy. "I know it may seem. . . unprofessional, since I'm technically your boss-"

"You're captain." You agree with a nod that you immediately regret. The rubbing gets faster.

Curly huffs at you, burying amusement under concern. "You can talk to me. I'm higher up, but I'm not one of them." He gestures to the nearest poster of Polle. You shoot the horse a glare on instinct, but your face is quick to fall. "I just want you safe and happy."

The quiet returns, and with it his offer hangs heavy over the two of you. You stare down at your lap, hand still loosely clinging to your neck. Curly tries not to stare at you, but god, your eyes just look so. . . sad.

He wishes he could take your hand, show you he's here for you. But that wouldn't be smart, would it?

A heavy sigh rushes out of your nose. "I guess I'm just getting a little tired." Your face pinches as you say it, so Curly lets you piece your words together. "It gets repetitive, y'know? Everything is the same, day in and day out. I try my best, cause I know everyone here is feeling the same kinda stir crazy I am, but. . . I'm tired."

Curly lunges forward as your shoulders sag, palm pressed to the space between them before he can think better of it. "Yeah?"

"I miss plants." You tell him. "Trees, flowers, grass. I miss the sky and the sun. These damn monitors-" You throw an arm towards the screen in front of your both, face screwed up in disgust. "I hate them. They're not even close to something real. Hell, I'd take looking out into space over them."

Curly's thumb has started rubbing into the base of your neck without him realizing. He can't bring himself to stop, though.

"Back home, I could just visit somewhere new, meet new people, pet a dog and smell enough flowers to give myself asthma." You laugh a little at yourself. Curly smiles, and you return it, sheepish. "Sorry. I do like all of you. I hope I don't sound like I'm sick of ya."

"We like you too." Curly says with a pat on the back. "I get it, though. Days can blend together here, drive you crazy." An idea wiggles into his head, one he can't dismiss, even if it's technically against protocol. "If you want a change in scenery, I could show ya the cockpit?"

Your head snaps up again, and this time Curly is the one to rub the wince from your neck. "Really??" You flounder suddenly, and it strikes just how close he is to you. His face burns as he eases back, hand tingling from the touch of your skin. "I mean. . . if it's alright! I don't wanna impose if you're busy."

"Nah," Curly waves the worry away, "it's nothing. Hell, I could teach you how to fly, if you're interested?"

"Very much!" You chirp.

The lights dim further, probably a code Pony Express programmed to save energy while the crew slept. It doesn’t matter, though, for your grin and bright eyes light up the entire damn spaceship.

You have never smiled at him like this before. Curly desperately wants you to do so every day, though.

"Then we'll do a lesson tomorrow." Curly says. He stands up, a hand offered to you. You take it, squeezing his hand before you let it go. "Try and get some sleep, okay?"

"Aye aye, Captain." You do a mock salute, striding off with a wave. "Sweet dreams!" As you pass through the door, you make sure to bow. "Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow!"

With you gone, Curly lets a grin take over his face, hiding it behind his hand.

Seems he's getting some alone time with you tomorrow. He's going to be having sweet dreams indeed.

[phinkslave]

His Little Helper

Shoei Baro x Reader

Hey guys! it’s been so long sorry, (i have been DYING), only reason i haven’t posted in a while is because i need requests in order to get ideas of what to write about and i haven’t really gotten any soooooo please enjoy what i could make! I’m still new to writing soo please cut me some slack. I wrote the smut but honestly i didn’t like it so i will not be posting it. Enjoy!

Warnings: Non-con (not smut), implied noncon sex, forced spanking, reader is female, violence, a little blood. (Let me know if i missed anything!) This has not been proof-read.

Barou Shoei. A somewhat tolerable man. You were hired to be his PA, personal assistant. After Bluelock he made a name for himself, which is why he’d need a personal assistant. Barou was a busy man, and as organized as he is, he did need a little extra help. So assistant after assistant, some being fired, some quitting, the job was put on you. Overtime Barou grew fond of you, though he’d obviously never admit it. He noticed how strong you were. How kind you were, but especially how naive, and he hated it. How innocent you were, not noticing when men were blatantly hitting on you, not noticing how angry he would get. How whenever he’d yell or throw an insult your way you’d pass it away with a smile or giggle. Never once being agitated for him being, well- just him.

———————————————————————————

Thus, when his career got more serious, and after only months for working with him, he URGED you to move in with him, and even after consistently trying to politely decline, he threatened that you better not be a messy roommate and showed up the next day with a moving truck to help you take all you need to his big home.

Though one month in, you noticed his new mood. Any second you’d mention going out, oh apparently there’s some emails you need to get to. You’re off the clock? why couldn’t he do it himself? well it’s the least you could do after he let you live with him, besides he has training to focus on instead of answering some donkeys email. He made living with him absolutely insufferable. His personality during matches wasn’t just for show. In real life, he was just as domineering, arrogant, condescending, and, most of all, imperious. Off the field, he considered himself to be every bit the King that he was on the field.

He quite literally thought of himself as royalty, which meant that even you were not exempt from treating him as such. He demanded absolute respect, and, most of all, submission from you nearly at all times. It was not that he was too "traditional" or "old-fashioned" to let you be your own person, hell, he was very tolerant of you when you chose to ignore his explicit instructions or mouth off to him. As if he’d let anyone else speak to him like that.

You ended up slowly losing your smile, your giggle, your cheerful attitude. You even considered quitting at this point but where would you go? Barou has made it so you’d be so busy that you have pushed a lot of people away. You only have him and maybe a few distant friends. The only thing keeping you afloat is the pay you get from this job. Without this job, it would be hard to keep yourself steady. That though didn’t stop you from giving him more sass and attitude as the days went by, and you’d be wrong if you were to say it wasn’t obvious to him. If Barou didn’t feel something for you, he’d have you already out the door with your suitcases. What bothers you the most is when he tells you to do a task ghat you were already doing. Even going as far as rolling your eyes to his face.

God did he want to put you in your place right then and there.

When he would try to make small talk, ask you how your day was and if you’ve done anything fun, it made you fume, as if you could have done something, as if he lets you do anything else but constantly work all cooped up in this house. You were done with him treating you like some peasant.

Actually, it was that mindset that landed you in this situation. As you would soon discover, your cunning tongue would undoubtedly be your undoing. You immediately regretted screaming at him as he once again stopped you from leaving the house. It must’ve been a whole 3 weeks since you’ve last gone out and even that was just for a doctors’ appointment that he drove you himself. Barou just exited his room, most likely heading out to go get some training in. That’s when he saw you, hair done, makeup done, dressed in a cute outfit that showed all your curves perfectly. Leaving a little to the imagination. He asked u where you were going, and all you said was

“Out.” Not even giving him a second glance as you tried to walk past him, wanting to make your way down the stairs. Ignoring the way his eyes burned into you, pretending to dig into your purse. Your heels clacking on the floor as you walked filling the odd silence in the air.

“At this hour? I’d advise you not to. I expect you to be up and early if your gonna wanna get those papers do-“

That was just your last straw.

“Oh My God! When have i ever left anything undone? Seriously Barou can you just like, back up a bit? you’re not my fucking father. Holy shit! It’s like i’m a fucking prisoner in here. If I wanna go out, i’m gonna go out. Honeslty I think im done. Find a new assistant to deal with your sorry ass.” Your voice being just above the average level.

You watched his shocked face immediately turn into one with rage, suddenly go stoic. Then, he started to approach you, prowling towards you like a lion emerging to maul its prey.

This was his last straw. He’s just dealt with your attitude for far to long then he should’ve.

You slowly started to back up, and before you could fully run, almost tripping with your heels. He was already seizing your bicep and pressing you chest first against the nearest wall, pinning you there. His large body pressing against your own.

“You wanna try and fuckin’ say that shit again, y/n?” He snarled into your ear. “Disrespect me again and watch what happens .” Barou did not remove his body from pinning you to the wall.

“B-barou!….Get off! You’re hurting-!” you said with tears threatening to fall. This is the first time you were feeling how strong Barou was. Of course he was always stronger than you, that was obvious, but for his strength to actually be used against you right now, has you shuddering in fear.

Instead, he pressed even harder against you, causing you to let out a sob. His sharp eyes flashing with anger and dark promise as he leaned in to growl into your ear, "Oh no, you don't get to tell me what to do, fucked up the moment you opened that insolent mouth of yours you little brat." He punctuated his words with a harsh spank to your ass, grabbing a handful of the flesh and squeezing painfully. "I think you need a reminder of who's in charge here."

“What the fuck! This isn’t funny Barou!” you shouted. Trying to sound strong, trying to use the little amount of attitude and confidence you had left against this giant man.

Barou immediately flipped you around so that you were now facing him. One of his hands holding you against the wall by your throat, not squeezing hard, but enough pressure for it to be a silent threat if you were to move. The other hand came up to grab your chin roughly, forcing you to look at him. He snarled cruelly at the defiant glare you shot him, despite trying to act all tough, he could see the tears on the verge of spilling out of your eyes, your mascara a bit smudged as well as your lipgloss your wobbly lips.

“Don't look at me like that. Who do you think you are? Huh? Thinking you can speak for me however you like, You only make me want to put that mouth to better use." He chuckled darkly, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip in a mockery of gentleness. "Be a good little assistant and put that tiny brain of yours to use yeah? We're going to have some fun, whether you want to or not."

“like..like hell we will! Shoei if you don’t get off-!” You tried your best to say through your squished cheeks. Barous’ eyes flashed with fury at your continued defiance. Without warning, he spun you back around to face the wall and kicked your feet apart, ankles wobbly due to your heels. Even with your heels on Barou was a towering man.

“Since you won't shut the fuck up, I'll shut you up myself," he growled. He grabbed a fistful of your hair and wrenched your head back, causing you to let out a painful cry. His action forced you to arch your spine and press your chest against the wall. His other hand shoved the waistband of your skirt and underwear down to your knees in one harsh yank. Causing you to cry louder.

"Such a fucking brat, where’d you get this mouth of yours from huh? Wasn’t like this when I first hired ya. We gotta do something about it don’t we." Barou said lowly into your ear as he delivered a sharp smack to your now exposed ass. "I'm going to beat this attitude out of you." leaving a red handprint blooming on your skin. “It's like you were begging to be punished," Barou taunted cruelly, rubbing the abused flesh before raising his hand and bringing it down again in a brutal smack.

“p-please! i’m sorry! i’ll watch m-my mouth! Stop! Stop! i’ll be better please i’m begging you please!” You sobbed, trying to push your body off the wall, though it clearly was no use of even trying.

"Shut up," Barou spat venomously. The slapping on your ass was painful. Once again, Barou was a big man. He wasn’t fast with it. He would land a blow and soothe it for a couple of seconds before landing another one. Your pained gasps filled the room as he worked you over with ruthless intensity.

Your nails digging into the arm of his that was wrapped around your waist, holding your body flush against his. “No more! Why are you doing this!?”

Barou paid no attention to your pleas, continuing to punish your tender flesh with brutal, unrelenting smacks. "No more? No more what? No more of this?" he taunted, rubbing his hand threateningly on your bottom, which you were sure now that would be bruised. He could feel your body jerk and writhe beneath his, your whimpers like music to his ears. His cock throbbing in his pants. He knew this wasn’t right. He knew this was wrong and perverted and just went against all of his morals…..but in the moment, your pain and discomfort were only serving to arouse him further.

"This is what happens when you forget your place," he sneered, “you learn your lesson yet?” he asked harshly, gripping your hips hard enough to leave finger-shaped bruises.

“Yes! I’m sorry!” You sobbed.

"Fuck, look at you..." he growled, rubbing your sore flesh almost tenderly before delivering a last, brutal slap. "I'm not nearly done with you yet." His last sentence causing you to immediately breakdown. Thrashing in every sort of way possible. Stomping, scratching, screaming, and when Barou let out a sharp, pained grunt as your elbow connected with his nose, he stumbled back, releasing you as he brought his hand up to his face. Causing you to fall to the floor, losing your balance without him being there to hold you up. Feeling blood already starting to trickle from his nostrils. “You’re gonna fucking pay for that you little shit." he roared, his eyes watering from the sudden pain and the shock of the unexpected impact. He glared at you, his expression a mix of fury and disbelief.

You immediately winced, the sudden movement of falling gave a sense of pain to your sore ass. Barou's face was flushed, his sharp features twisted in anger and barely contained rage. He looked terrifying, and you shrank back instinctively. Scooting closer to the wall, bringing your knees up to your chest, holding your hands out in front of you in means of a weak effort to try to keep him away. “I’m sorry! i’m sorry! i’m sorry! i’m sorry!” You don’t know how many times you rushed the words out.

"Shut your mouth,” Barou snarled, his voice muffled slightly from the hand pressed to his nose. He advanced towards you again, grabbing you up by your forearm with such force you thought he was gonna break it. He threw you over his shoulder, and began to make way to his room. From over your shoulder you could see the spilled contents of your opened purse on the floor and his gym bag as well, not to forget your skirt and underwear.

Entering his room, he threw you on your back onto his mattress. He began to work on taking your heels off. You were way too scared to try to kick or move, you already knew how mad he was, and a mad Barou was nothing to mess with. You were truly helpless against him. If it wasn’t for your situation, you’d think this would be cute, him taking your heels off for you. It especially shocked you at how gentle and kind he was doing the task. Though the moment didn’t last long after both heels were off and tossed behind him onto the floor.

“Please….don’t do this Barou. I’m begging you…i’ll be better from here on out…”

Barou scoffed.

“I'm going to fuck you now, and you're not going to say a word, understand? Not a single fucking word.”

[disguting-girl-reads]

Mina's Favorite Wincest Fic Recs: omegaverse

it's all omega!dean and alpha!sam bc that just makes more sense in my head lmao sorry not sorry

Take a Load Off by submariner

Stories from Sam and Dean’s wet, hot, American summer (road trip).

Sometimes, he feels real bad, about what he lets Sam do. It’s dirty, and it’s wrong, and he knows it. In fact, the second time they did it, Dean got sick—so sick he thought he might be pregnant, which would have been even worse than anything else. But it passed, and so did the guilt. It’s Sammy: how bad could it be, really? Dean keeps looking over at his alpha, and Sam keeps jumping him any chance they get.

alternatively, five times Dean doesn’t come and one time he does.

Mina's note: starting with my FAVORITE. I love love love this one very deeply. we have a bunch of delicious flavors in here besides the omegaverse: weecest behind john's back, dean with a pussy (my beloved) and an unhappy ending (I mean, it's pre-series, so its not exactly the end, don't worry).

that's kinda personal, but dean not coming was very endearing to me, as an ace person that can't really get there with another person lol and that doesn't mean the sex was bad, there's various other reasons to fuck besides coming, and I like how this was explored here :)

The Bite of Knowledge by theproblematique

Omegas can tell when alphas are attracted to them. It's a survival mechanism.

After years of buildup, Dean finally realizes that Sam is attracted to him.

It's a shitshow.

Mina's note: that's the first wincest omegaverse fic I ever read, yay. It's super cute and has so much pining - which I love!. I really enjoyed the world building in this one, I never saw this thing where omegas know when alphas are into them, which is super cool.

To Sound The Depths by Pendragony

Dean has always set aside his needs, repressing his instincts for the sake of Sam. Sometimes he thinks he doesn’t even know how to be an Omega any more. When the brothers pose as a couple to investigate a spate of drowned Alphas, Dean starts to get back in touch with his Omega self. But when the heat is on, will Dean still be able to protect Sam?

Mina's note: this one is also on my long wincest fic rec post. It's a case fic as well and I really like the plot (truly, that's not a joke about porn), and it's somewhat of a slow burn, which is one of my favorite things ever!!

he ain't heavy by adastreia

Castiel was gone. Dean was asleep and probably would be for the foreseeable future. Sam should probably hit the hay himself, but something felt – off. Somehow he knew there was no way he’d manage to do anything but toss and turn if he did try and go to bed. There was a thrumming under his skin that once upon a time he would’ve associated with an impending rut, but he hadn’t had one of those since his soul (mangled, taped together, falling apart) was slammed back into his body. Couldn't be a rut. It was probably stress.

Mina's note: most omegaverse fics are heat focused, so I always jump at it when I catch a hut fic!! it's sooo hot, I don't know why there's so little alpha!sam hut fics out there, the self-hate is so delicious

darling, don't put down your guns yet by scorpiod

Dean accidentally gets pregnant. They both know they should abort it.

Sam and Dean decide to keep it.

Mina's note: pregnancy fic, obviously. S7, which is such a messy season to get pregnant, with the leviathans and halluficer around, so it's like soo interesting!! the way they act towards the pregnancy seems very canonical to me, and I love pregnant dean. there's a tiny bit of lactation kink, and little flashbacks to when they were kids that are so fantastically weird and fucked up - just how they are and just how I like it.

Taste Every Fruit by thatsakitkat

There's no real words to describe how feeding Sam feels. Dean thinks it might be better than orgasms, but it's a whole different kind of pleasure, one that makes him feel sleepy and proud of himself for being able to take care of his brother this way. Everything feels right in the world, all Dean's problems taken away in the gentle pulls of Sam's mouth.

Mina's note: very interesting world building!! and so much lactation lmao dean with boobs was something I didn't know I needed

Drip by thatsakitkat

Sam chews the inside of his lip and looks down at the tampon in his fingers, taps the applicator between the webbing of his thumb and index. "I'll do it," he offers, hopes his voice is even and doesn't crack or tremble because looking at the tampon, he can picture the string hanging outside Dean's body and it's weird, what that imagery does to him.

Mina's note: TAMPON KINK!!! I mean, I'm a bit insane about this, but yeah, tampon kink, guys....

Sassy Sammy and the Slick Tits by fastandfilthy (IndridGrey)

Dean has to take parenting classes in high school like everyone else and he has been given a fake baby. The problem is, his omega hormones have been going into overdrive recently, so the fake baby's crying is enough to induce lactation in him. Teen alpha Sam gladly offers to help him out.

Mina's note: the title is so funny and crackish lmao but as the author tagged, it's not as cracky as the title makes it sound - it's actually really hot. omegaverse + lactation kink is such a good match!!

[ezra-editss]

Just watched X-men Apocalypse. What the hell.

Okay, so I kinda have a take on all this and idk if that's just how it feels to me, but that's what I wanna know. (I don't think this actually happened, but it's the vibes it is all giving)

So it started when I told my mom about First Class (keep reading I'm gonna get to apocalypse eventually) and we came to the conclusion that it feels like they wrote the script, looked at it again and thought:

"Hmm, this seems pretty gay.. Erik and Charles both have no female love interests and they have those lines that seem pretty romantic. Also, Erik seems almost obsessed with Charles at the end with how overprotective he is. Let's fix that!"

And then they gave both of them a kiss with a woman they weren't interested in and added the line "We're brothers, you and I" and then were proud of how well they "saved" it.

And then they made Days of Future Past and didn't even think of it, but when it came out they saw how people were shipping it and then they were like "oh shitt"

And in the first hour of the movie, I thought they were just doing all of this stuff to "erase" any potential gayness people thought there was and wanted to make sure nobody got the wrong idea about the recent movies. But it was more the reminder they like women, before the EXTREME GAYNESS in the second half.

(This is getting so much more unserious than initially intended💀)

Anyways, Apocalypse.

Either I missed something or Erik settling down and HIDING makes NO SENSE. In the last timeline it was 100% clear that he'd never stop believing in what he did, he would never stop fighting his war. So yes, this is a different timeline, but there is no reason given why he suddenly decides to try Charles way. He failed in Days of Future Past and Charles let him go, but there is no way that's enough. And they played this off like that isn't the thing they both wanted since forever and never seemed possible. Being on the same side. Erik switching to Charles side is insane, why wouldn't he talk to Charles in all those years then?

I can't believe they threw away everything that IS Erik, just so he had a reason to be angry enough to join the guy.

(They also died in such a weird/lame way)

And Charles and I still don't really know her name😭.. I have to admit the scenes where Charles was nervous were cute, but that's just because Charles is adorable. But in First Class she was obviously only there for the plot, in Days of Future Past, she wasn't even mentioned and in Apocalypse, she was, again, only there for the plot. She literally doesn't say anything the entire movie after the beginning. She has like two lines. And in the end fight, she's just standing there. And then Charles makes her remember and the flashbacks are soo bad, BC THEY HAD NO MOMENTS. (Especially bc you can compare it to Erik's flashbacks, we're gonna get to that)

(I don't think I have to say it, but to be sure. I have absolutely nothing against straight couples. I don't care if it's gay or not. But if one of them were a woman, I wouldn't be writing this. I just hate how often they prefer to write a heterosexual couple that has no chemistry at all instead of making the two guys/girls kiss.)

Let's talk about the ending. Sometimes when I talk about this stuff I'm a little worried that I interpret things wrong bc I want it to be like that and I'm not being objective anymore, but I was proven right so many times in this. When Mystique and Erik kissed in First Class, it felt really weird to me because Erik obviously had no interest in her. (I suppose it was to show her she's beautiful) And that was pretty much proven right when she talks to him and he barely reacts to what she's saying. I also thought that he probably didn't know Charles was dying, bc he wouldn't let that happen. Then Mystique says "Charles" and suddenly he does show a reaction and when she's gone, he has those god damn flashbacks. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T A ROMANTIC PLOT?😭 and then the specific one of Charles turning away and leaving him. (Could be a metaphor for Charles giving up on him) THAT'S WHAT GOT HIM.

And they make it even more clear when Mystique is dying and Erik doesn't react, but when Charles is dying, is when he steps in.

Ending was cute, but damnn the "you can make me do anything" was crazy.

(This turned out soo long, I've never been so obsessed with something.)

[lillysturns]

Breathtaking - matt sturniolo

Based on this request

Summary: You and matt get invited to a birthday party and with the dress code being dress, (for the girls obviously) you struggle a bit.

Warnings: A little cursing here and there but else none just total fluff. :)

Reminder: English is not my first language so i’m sorry if there is any misspellings, also my first fanfic so i’m sorry again if it’s bad or not what you wanted!

Me and Matt are sitting in the kitchen, when my phone alarm goes off. “Fuck, that scared the shit out of me” he says and dramatically puts a hand on his chest.

I chuckle slightly, then press the alarm away and stand up from my chair. “You gonna get ready now too or no?” i ask him while leaning against the kitchen counter. “Mh, give me ten minutes and i’ll start” he says while also standing up and walking over to the couch to sit down.

I sigh and walk into our bedroom, closing the door behind me. I sit down at my makeup desk and pull out my phone to connect it to my speaker, because i wanna listen to music. The music starts playing and i start doing my makeup while vibing a little, since my favourite song is playing.

After around 30 minutes i’m done with my makeup and spray on some setting spray on it, smiling at myself in the reflection slightly. I get up from my chair and open the bedroom door to see what matt is up to, obviously he’s still on the couch not getting ready.

“Matt i swear you better get ready now” i say while looking at him, laying on the couch and watching some lacrosse game. He looks at his phone and sees the time. “Oh shit, yeah babe don’t worry i’ll get ready now-“ he stops mid sentence and looks at you, “Wow you look stunning” he says while getting up and walking over to me. I smile shyly and shake my head.

“Don’t lie, lying is not good you know?” i say as i softly press a finger against his forehead. He just laughs slightly and kisses me softly. I kiss him back and swing my hands around his neck, then pull away from the kiss. “I still have to change, ill be right back and while i’m gone you better be getting ready” i say while giving him a quick peck on his lips, then disappearing into the bedroom to get changed.

I hear him chuckle from outside the bedroom and slightly smile, then walk over to my wardrobe and search for something to wear. A second after i begin searching, my best friend calls me, i obviously pick up.

“Hey girl, soo i hope you didn’t forget about the dress code i made for us girls” she says with alot of excitement. Then it hits me, i have to wear a dress which i normally don’t do because i hate wearing tighter clothes. „O-oh yeah no, i didn’t forget…” i say while looking at myself in the mirror. “Okay amazinggg, see you soon girly love ya!” she’s says and hangs up.

The moment she hangs up i look into my closet, hoping to find a wider dress. I finally find a little bit wider one and put it on, but the moment i put it on tears well up in my eyes. “I can’t wear a dress i feel too big” i think to myself while trying to hold the tears back. Moments later matt comes in.

“Okay you ready sweetheart because-“ he stops talking once he sees that i’m on the verge of tears. “Baby what’s wrong?” he says while going up to me and lifting my chin up with his fingers, so i look at him.

“I look stupid in this, matt” i say while looking at him with teary eyes. He shakes his head. “You look perfect in that dress, it suits you so well” he says while softly caressing my cheek. “B-but look at my tummy” i say while turning around to look in the mirror again. “Beautiful yes, now stop looking at your reflection” he says while trying to cover the mirror with his big hands.

I chuckle softly seeing him struggling to cover the mirror. “See that’s what i wanna hear, non of that other stuff okay?” he says while pulling me into a hug. I instantly melt into the hug and smile against his chest. “I wish you could see yourself with my eyes, because you’re literally breathtaking” he says while holding me close. “Stop it, im gonna cry” i say while looking up at him.

“No no, no crying here” he says and lifts me up. “Heyy let me down” i say while squealing slightly. He shakes his head and spins me around before setting me back down. “You ready to go, pretty girl?” he says while taking my hand, intertwining fingers with me. I just nod and smile at him.

“I’m so happy to have you, you know that?” i say while we walk out the bedroom, leaving for the party.

I really hope yall like this and if anyone wants to be on the tag list let me know!

@honeybee240 here you go!!

[asher-agere]

Hi Ash! I know I alredy did request something, and this will only add in your huge request list, but I love transfem Dazai SO much, and if you can (i don't want to overwhelm you, so take your time for this, I can wait) could you do something about Transfem Dazai little and Chuuya Cg?

Have a good day!

Yay finally writing this! You’re always so polite and kind with your requests hehe, it always makes me smile! Also warning for brief talk of eating disorders! Just the last headcanon, the rest are safe to read!

Transfem Little Dazai + Caregiver Chuuya

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

₊ ⊹ Starting with age range! I see Dazai regressing from 2-5, because yes she’s the tiniest of little babies, most people in the fandom agree on that. But! I refuse to let go of the headcanon for chaos toddler Dazai. She’s soo so much fun to write! And I love the idea of Dazai trying to be manipulative even when tiny, but a baby can’t be very manipulative. I think that when she’s with the mafia Dazai tended to regresses younger and after she left she settled into more of the toddler age range! PM Dazai and ADA Dazai are very different Dazai’s

⛦ Doing nicknames now so I can’t forget later! Chuuya obviously still uses the usual “Mackerel” because it’s such a personal thing between these two, that pet name is constant. However he’ll also use names like “Sweetheart” or “Precious” Nothing that’s blatantly feminine because if Dazai recognizes someone trying to comfort her she shoves them away, but definitely pet names with feminine undertones and implications. Things that let Dazai feel feminine without blatantly being told she’s girl. And Dazai usually ends up calling Chuuya “Chibi” or “Puppy”, but when she’s in the tiniest of baby spaces she’ll say “Chuu” as she struggles to form any words at all

₊ ⊹ Chuuya is a mafia executive. He works in jewel trading. This man is absolutely loaded. And he wants to spend so much of his money on his little girl! Unfortunately Dazai acts allergic to nice things, Chuuya always has to reason his way through things. But when he’s able to buy Dazai nice things he always picks out cute girly stuff! I don’t see Dazai having a pink obsession, she’s not an “I hate pink” girly but she just likes other colors more. Chuuya ends up buying lots of clothes with ruffles and glitter, so many princess and magical girl themed toys. Bows for everything! I also think Chuuya would buy cute little makeup kits for kids which Dazai can get very serious about learning to use

⛦ Since Dazai tries to reject any of Chuuya’s attempts to praise her for being a girl, to happily remind her that she is one, Chuuya finds alternatives! Almost all of Dazai’s little gear has feminine nicknames on them. Princess, baby girl, little girl, my girl, anything and everything. And Chuuya puts that everywhere he can! On decorated pacifiers, plates, sewn onto blankets, bibs, it’s literally everywhere. It’s one of the forms of praise Dazai accepts without complaint and Chuuya makes full use of the loophole that he’s found

₊ ⊹ Doing stereotypically feminine things can help with dysphoria! So on extra dysphoric days is one of the few times Chuuya allows Dazai into the kitchen to bake! Baking means absolutely everything is kept out of Dazai’s reach but she’s allowed to pour ingredients into the bowl and pick out which cookie cutters or muffin liners to use. Absolutely nothing else. Any more involvement and the recipe will be messed up and Dazai will eat things she shouldn’t, and she ends up burnt. Dazai can very easily turn a kitchen into a disaster, please don’t give this girl her cooking license she has not earned it

⛦ Blanket forts! Dazai likes hiding under blankets to hide her masculine body, while there’s nothing really wrong with doing that It’s an indicator that Dazai isn’t feeling the best usually. So of course Chuuya needs to step in! He acts oblivious to why Dazai is truly wrapped up in the blanket, claiming that his silly mackerel must just be cold. So he suggests making a blanket fort instead! This keeps Dazai active and distracted from her mean thoughts! Keeping Dazai busy is usually one of the best ways to keep her out of her own head, big Dazai may be good at multitasking, but little Dazai? Not so much

₊ ⊹ Dazai loves letting Chuuya do her hair! She always gets incredibly upset whenever they need to cut it, but PM Dazai is way too anxious to actually let it grow out, a sentiment that does not stay when she’s regressed. Even with short hair though! She loves collecting cute hair clips to wear around, I think she would absolutely rock some cute pigtails. She also loves it when Chuuya washes her hair! She insists on using only all of the best products, she demands her hair instantly be brushed and blow dried and styled. She deserves princess treatment and she knows it!

⛦ I definitely feel like Dazai has an eating disorder. I mean her canon weights are incredibly below average and unhealthy, even ADA Dazai is around 40 pounds underweight. Transgender body dysphoria influences eating disorders even worse. She absolutely tries to deny eating so she can be “skinny like a girl” Chuuya is of course hard at work to stop these habits! He’s trying to locate safe foods, encourage Dazai to do things like exercise rather than starving herself. Sometimes to convince her to eat they need to go with low calorie foods that aren’t really as filling as Dazai needs, but it’s better than nothing! Chuuya’s never going to lie to her to get her to eat, never going to try and trick her into it. He’s willing to compromise, but he’s always trying to push for her to more

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Honestly my own gender expression was a mess while writing this, past two days I’ve been all over the scale guys. Yesterday I started off very girly and ended very boy feeling (My choice to wear a dress was quite quickly regretted), and then today I’m feeling very She/They but if I’m not perceived as a boy I want to scream. Being genderfluid is confusing- Half of this was written while I was feeling masculine-

[DNI ID: A brown box with a dark brown border. Dazai to the left, bandages covering the top right corner and over Dazai’s head. Dark brown text reads “DNI if your blog isn’t child safe. I will block NSFW accounts” End ID]

[vespertin-y]

OKAY I FINALLY WATCHED GRAVITY FALLS. TEN YEARS LATE I KNOW. i was expecting to have to power through a bunch of boring kid stuff to get to the actual interesting drama and i was so so wrong i locked tf in and finished it in two days. it's so good what the actual fuck. heres my thoughts on the main characters

mabel: when i was the actual target audience for this show i saw a bit of mabel while flipping through disney XD and i immediately concluded that she was annoying af and i would never watch this show because of her. i would like to repent for this evil evil take by flinging myself belly down onto shattered glass. MABEL MY BABY GIRL...if they ever put her in another Situation or Scenario ill kill someone fr. she's a little too selfish and a little too pushy sure but so genuinely KIND and SWEET and so willing to make a fool of herself to pull her dumb brother out of his head. that unicorn doesn't know jack i hope she gets everything she wants forever

dipper: if i had watched gf as a kid i would have been in very real danger of naming myself after this guy (which doesn't even work bc im not nearly as cool as him!! the woodland creatures would have eaten my ass). it would've been so easy to give him a generic gaining confidence arc but he is never a coward when it really matters and i think that's great. he may not be able to talk to a girl but he can and will beat a gnome to death with a shovel for touching his sister!!! also yeah he is extremely transgender.

stan: OUUUUUGH. STARTS SOBBING. stanley pines the man that you are. i assumed at first that his plot would be about Learning To Love but no he is 100% on board with being the world's best grunkle from minute one. he definitely fucks up sometimes (putting waddles outside comes to mind as does. The Other Thing) but he always tries his very best to fix it. every action he takes just oozes with care for his family. every time i thought he had a motivation that wasn't his family they pulled the rug out from under me and revealed that it was, in fact, just his family again. he would give everything for them. AND HE LITERALLY DOES??? im gonna vomit. he hand stitched fishing hats 😭😭😭

wendy: definitely my least favorite of the main cast im sorry wendyheads...i just feel like there isn't a lot to get into here. every time they imply there's something more going on with her or her family they just snap her right back into The Coolest Girl In The World which might be fun but it's not that interesting.

soos: SOOS MY FRIEND SOOS!!!! i wobbled on him during the middle of the show bc i felt like they were making him Genuinely Dumb instead of just a good babysitter but they pulled his characterization back around by the end i think. he is like me in that he would also die for the mystery twins without hesitation or regret 💖. a lesser show would've been really mean about soos but gf is BASED and SOOSPILLED so he gets what he deserves. he does not have to lose weight or drop his "childish" interests or stop living with his grandma to WIN AT LIFE. awesome girlfriend! dream job! big house! stan using that boat to hunt down his bio dad and kill him, probably!

ford: ill be honest and admit i hated this guy at first but eventually i learned to live laugh love about his massive incredibly fragile ego ruining everything all the time and now i am a big ford enjoyer. what a FREAK oh my god. he believed his journals to be capable of destroying the world and still refused to destroy them because they're His Life's Work????? he had the painfully obvious option to tell bill he didn't know the equation and stall for time and chose instead to say that OBVIOUSLY he knows it he's the SMARTEST MAN ALIVE he's just not TELLING YOU 😤 and then immediately got tortured????? he spent most of his screentime projecting his relationship issues onto an Actual Child?????????? he needs to go to therapy and learn he's not the main character of the universe but he will not be doing that so i can only hope the boat fixes him. if i was stanley i'd've fed him to the shapeshifter.

bill: SIGH. YES OKAY HE'S MY FAVORITE. I KNOW I'M FUCKING PREDICTABLE DON'T @ ME. i spent 90% of his screentime cracking up and the other 10% making Homosexual Detection Eyebrows at my brother! the ideal ratio!!!!! i can't wait to get my hands on the book so i can poor little meowmeow him more efficiently. i knew i was saving that barnes & noble gift card for something important.

[thementalshawty]

My New Beginning (My way out)

(Mentions of disabilities, mental, emotional, physical abuse, S*x abuse, bullying, self harm, suicidal ideation, Domestic violence, be wary before reading).

So where to begin……. This is about familial abuse, so this has been something happening my whole life!!! My “mother” is a narcissist. She bullied me and my sister our whole lives, I am the third of 5 kids, she would pit us against each other and watch us fight to laugh and make fun, most of my insecurities stem from her clowning me in front of my brothers, funny enough she is NEVER ALONE, my father he abused us including her but he left and I thought we were better off for it, I wasn’t wrong but little did I know the monsters she’d allow into our lives after, I was getting molested by older brother and my mothers boyfriend before I even got to elementary school, my brother started when I was insanely young, and I still protected him as I didn’t know what tf was happening, her boyfriend started when I was in 4th grade, he wasn’t a drunk or anything just a pedophile, she knew he was because he got caught cheating on her with teenage girls and yet she still kept him around for a decade so wherever we moved he was there and I started to become angry, rage grew inside my soul like a fire that had no intention of burning out, on top of that he was abusive hitting and bruising me and my siblings who all have disabilities, you know my sister as she’s a tarot reader on here so I’m not going into specifics about them, but she would sit and watch and do nothing, she would hide food with him, have us stand in the corner for hours on end while they are food in front of our faces “mmmm that’s good”. She even forced to drink her breast milk in front of him, she despised us having friends, soo when I would have a friend she wouldn’t let me see them or go out or we would move, I’ve never stayed more than 2-3 years in any place my whole entire fuccin life! I don’t know anything but toxicity when it came to relationships, I tried to kill myself multiple times but they failed so I decided to be a burner, I just burned myself, the fire it was the rage inside me felt outside, I decided to tell my mother about the molester from her boyfriend when I was 15, because I told someone in school he told me I had to tell her or he would so I wrote her a letter, he had a gun in the house and put it to his head and said he was going to kill himself (gaslighting), she kicked him out for a day, brought him back then told me that I had to share her with him, so at 15 and with her knowledge of him molesting me, we all moved to California, we drove there, and that was awful, we all fought and he screams how he didn’t care about what he did to me and he was laughing in front of her, i ended up just sweeping that under the rug because i went to focus on my career I had acting classes so my mind was focused but I met a guy from school and he automatically hated him (the boyfriend) he told my mother and automatically I was told to stay away from him, I didn’t I had got arrested the year before so I had community service and he was helping me with that, I told him what happened I thought we were meant to be but he cheated on me with his sister and I found myself in her another Jerry springer bind but I found that out months after we broke up, but he stood up for me and he was the only one on the outside that actually came and defended my honor as sick as he is I will give him credit for that. A year later we’re moving bacc to NYC, before we did though, they got Into a fight (my mother and the boyfriend), pretending to break up, he went to the gas station filled a gas canister wit gas came back to the front door and poured gasoline on himself, obviously not lighting himself on fire because it was an act, he went to jail a week or two later she invited him back into her life, I already knew that it was going to happen because the shit was predictable at that point, Skipping ahead to 17, we moved back to NYC, we came separately, I came on a plane with my mother and the rest of my siblings drove back with him, because obviously she trusted him with children why wouldn’t she? She already knew what he was capable of, she didn’t care 🤷🏽‍♀️, when we got back to NyC she

Promises me that he’s not coming back into our lives that it’s over this time, I told her he’s going to gaslight her she says not gonna work, fast forward to when they all made it to the apartment, she approached me with the sob story I said he would come in with so she said she is letting him stay, I was going to just walk away, but my sister told me that she fought with him on the drive here, she stood up for me, he yelled at my older brothers and her that he did What he did to me cos he truly wanted to and he’s unapologetic for it, the flame it was uncontrollable and I blacked out I went into the room and I kicked him out myself. He yelled bullshit but he left, she hated me for that, so she started to sneak him in secretly then they started hiding food again, leaving us to literally shake, starve and feel sick, we learned how to improvise with what little we had. I was going to school so I didn’t care, speaking of school I was supposed to be on my last year of school, and I couldn’t graduate because my principal explained because I moved so much my credits were all over the place, so she told me I had to repeat a year that was devasting to me because in California I only had a few credits before I could graduate, I got two jobs because I just wanted to save up money to leave, she told my grandma lies oh she has a whole bunch of recruits that she tells constant lies too about us and what we do never the truth because they already feel she’s sick but they do nothing about it, family tho right? My grandma called me and so again we told her the truth and she helped us kick him out for good, (so that’s the end of boyfriend 1…. For now) I was finally 18!! So again I have no friendships nothing ever stuck, but I had two jobs and I was saving up for an apartment, I shouldn’t have done this but I was so proud of myself! I told her (my mother) that I was going to move out, get my own apartment and live on my own, she didn’t like that, she was saying that it was disloyal and what was she going to do without me and she needed help because most of my siblings have a disability, so I stayed, I couldn’t be disloyal when she needed me, that was a big mistake. A year later we are moving BACC to California because she has found A NEW BOYFRIEND, some guy she met over the phone, guess who helped her move back to California though (boyfriend #1), my brother who molested me left to go into the army, don’t worry he’s not in it any longer dishonorable discharge (it was fitting). So anyways the new boyfriend was some white guy who I felt meant no harm the fuccin dude was quiet and softspoken so I paid it no mind, but I was wrong, he was a drunk, not only was a he a drunk, he was a RACIST DRUNK! Did she care???? NOOOOOOO! Everytime I tried to leave she stopped me, til we fought then she would say to leave knowing I had nowhere to go, if I had a friend to go too she would hate that friend, funny thing is most friends that want to take me away from this be friends she introduced me too, she wanted to be friends with them but they wanted to be my friend yes they are younger people, I don’t have those friends anymore because they were very similar to her go figure right ? I thought I should call the cops, call for help, but everyone I reached out too did nothing INCLUDING COPS! So I felt backed into a corner, well I had my sister my little sister my rock, funny fun fact though, her new boyfriend ALSO LIKES LITTLE GIRLS oh and BOYS! He got arrested and she stood up for him, while he was doing that in her home, she would run away and leave us all my siblings in the house with him drunk calling us the N word, kicking doors down and causing mess, I couldn’t leave my siblings who couldn’t understand what was happening behind all I knew is that they were scared and their mother wasn’t there all she did was make excuses for him she told me I should kill myself, that I was a cunt that didn’t deserve her name, ( I don’t have it, I have my dads last name), that I was going to be nothing more than a whore, by this time………………

She knows about what my brother did to me I didn’t mention that confession because she just skipped right over it. She literally didn’t care and she told me to my face she believed he was only playing with me and I am confusing it all and that I know nothing about it because it happened to her and she the only one who knows pain and my pain doesn’t matter she tried to assault me and again tried to tell family but she already took the narrative so they weren’t trying to hear me out or help, in august of this year, me and my sister left, we went to stay in a motel for a week or two, with the help of my booking agent we didn’t have enough money to stay and the homeless shelters were all full and we’re not answering back, so we had no choice but to go back, we are back and nothing even a week later back to the drunk racist, not eating, starving routine, I wanted to die and I felt like a failure! I couldn’t even get out of bed I felt like I deserved this I got my sister out to end up right back 2 WEEKS LATER?!?!! I fuccin hated myself! He was drunk and again causing ruckus, she came back a morning later and was telling him to leave, he was going to hit her, my brother (diagnosed with MR) was out there with my younger brother (autism) and they were scared and standing up for her and the boyfriend was in their faces what was I supposed to do???? Me and my sister tried to help and she tried to tell us to leave for helping her!!!!! Me and my sister decided to just call the police, they started to fight, and he tried to kill her, the police got him out, and they told her that she was lucky to have her kids here, we cleaned up her room after he broke her whole house apart, I mean EVERYTHING IS TORN APART RN!!!! she decided that she was going to move down to Texas with the molesting brother because he has kids, (oh yeah other fun fact she kept forcing me to have kids she even wanted me to give her my eggs so she can have kids with both of those boyfriends she approached me TWICE ABOUT IT, one she wanted my eggs and the other she wanted me to be pregnant for her!) So now my brother has kids she was like saying she knows I’ll never have kids and I’ll be forever alone, that no one will ever love me, anyways skipping to now my birthday came and left I’m 27 now! The housing program that me and my sister signed up for began to pend and we found a place! We didn’t tell her we found a place and that we were in a program we didn’t even tell her that we went down the city. We ended up getting a random woman come into the house and serve us she was evicting us (my mother) even on the eviction notice it says no fault just cause, she didn’t even tell me, so we have 60 days to leave and vacate her premises! Funny enough yesterday my sister got her APPROVAL NOTICE!!! Mine is still pending but I know that I’m getting approved and if all goes well we will be in our transitional home on SATURDAY! We finally did it, dug our way out, I didn’t think that I could and that I would, I would’ve been opened up to someone if I didn’t believe that it was against the family or that no one would love me like she did, she painted the world as such a unloving place and that this toxicity was normal and for the longest I believed it, but I am waking up now! And I am looking forward to beginning my life AWAY FROM HER! Just me and my rock @silvershiningtarot I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MY STORY, I’m only ashamed I kept quiet for so long, I allowed them to get away with everything and they took control of the narrative but I’m taking my power back! This is the first chapter of my success story! I’m not looking for claps or sympathy or for yky to actually care or anything I just wanted to put my story out there because this shit shouldn’t be in the dark anymore, mothers can be demons, family can be a dark and scary word for people and they’re not family, only relation! And I wanted to make that clear! RELATION DOESN’T MEAN FAMILY

I feel more familial love from you guys on here than I ever did anywhere! My music gave me hope and tarot gave me community

You deserve to know your reader through and through!

Thank you!!! For listening and taking the time for hearing this sad ass story, I hope I didn’t drag your day down! 💋

[cannot-decide-on-a-fandom]

https://www.tumblr.com/cannot-decide-on-a-fandom/754552911759114240/i-dont-think-ive-ever-seen-a-fanbase-talk-so

Your preaching to the choir on this. Especially on twitter where it happens soo much. And it’s so baffling. Like they refuse to accept people can actually learn and grow and do better. And it’s not like he never apologized. He has multiple times. And he’s proven that he’s learned from it and grown from it. And I really don’t think people like Aisha, or Angela would say the positive things they have and continue to say about him if he hadn’t. It was very clear at the time how the cast felt about what happened and in regards to him. And it’s like completely opposite vibes now. And then the way people will say they think he’s so hot and such a good actor and good dad and so brave for talking about his mental health but yet censor his name the entire time is like 💀💀💀💀💀 what are you even doing. You look goofy as hell saying R*yan. Like 💀💀😂

Honestly I try so hard to stay out of saying potentially controversial stuff about real situations (characters are a bit more...I obviously won't tag the character in negative stuff but it's fiction and all) but this has been baffling me and I'm glad some people agree. I just don't understand censoring for this reason most of the time anyway to be honest? Like I heard there was a time when people would censor Oliver's name so he wouldn't see their tweets because he apparently lurked (which is so funny, this is not an Oliver Stark appreciation post but from what I've seen I have to acknowledge that, that man is so funny) and that I get. If you try and censor a name to avoid people finding the post, okay sure.

But censoring problematic or supposedly problematic people's names has somehow morphed and become just an easy out for people who like to talk about someone who has done something wrong in their past (ie-is a human being) without needing to confront what them loving them must mean. Because it's either "I truly think this person is bad but I don't care enough to not talk about them" or acknowledging the fact that it's possible for people to have done fucked up stuff and still be good people after (which seems to be a foreign concept to some people, especially when it comes to celebrities)

If a post is about negative stuff a person did, you can censor it if you want but surely the context would give away you don't support them, and if it's positive stuff, then if you genuinely truly think "this person is a bad person" then buddy you're still fucking saying good stuff about the same person, just because there's an asterix in it doesn't mean you're not.

The only time I really get this type of censoring is if listing a group of people and you wanna make it clear that you're listing them for specificity alone. For example a group photo where one person is shitty, and you're trying to refer to that picture so you list all the people in it, and it's easier to make it clear you think someone in it is a shitty person without needing to write a separate explanation (which I would honestly never expect anyone to...ever have to but it's the internet)

Anyway, this ended up being way longer of a reply than I intended (and I've had a few drinks) but hopefully it made sense. I guess I'll just finish by saying it's bad for people using screen readers too so I sort of think the accessibility of "Hey blind people should be able to be online too" should probably trump "I want everyone to know I'm a good person by hating this guy who did something messed up 5 years ago" (or other instances of similar things)

[tobacconist]

i will always defend alex day/nerimon and i dont care what anyone says. literally what are the accusations? being sort of an annoying twat? being kinda bad in bed? sleeping around? (yeah, that last one is bad but cmon. thats what idiot teenagers do. he didnt need his life ruined over it.)

literally, if you know the name alex day you probably think 'that one time british youtube star? yeah i kinda remember but idk actually, i think he was a rapist or something? probably a pedophile rapist predator. thats what everyone says. idk but everyone hates him and he doesnt have an online presence anymore because idk actually i think hes buddhist now or smth? idc fucking rapist scum'

like, i understand completely how it happened (dont forget to be awesome!) there were soo many dirty fucking scumbags around in that era of youtube (and still are! more so, infact!) and like... seriously, im not trying to undermine the fact that there were (and are) actual predators on these platforms, or that he was close to them (dont forget to be awesome!) but so was LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE. it was fucking shameful how charlie, the vlogbrothers, everyone else just shunned him like that. youtube literally died that day, and if you dont believe me, try to find videos from that time. theyre gone. theyre all gone. they all want to forget about it.

i dont deny it was fucking scummy of him how he broke carries heart, or how he used his fame to get girls but... cmon. these were girls who were literally singing 'i want to be mrs nerimon' (iykyk) and flying from america to meet up with him. what 19yo dude who wants to be a famous musician wouldnt jump at that oppurtunity? im not saying he was/is a good musician btw. hes fucking awful.

but i actually beg everyone (who was there, digitally atleast, during the nerdfighter era and who remember those times. you know who you are. you guys who grew up with harry potter and loved it and hate yourselves for it today) ESPECIALLY those who hate him, to read his book 'living and dying on the internet' and try to hear it from his point of view. like, yes, obviously youre hearing the perspective of the annoying narcissistic twat we all know and love/hate, but also one who was one of the first vloggers in that wildwest era of youtube, who has a lot of insight, and who i believe really didnt do anything all that wrong, and even if he did has clearly fully repented in giving up his youtube career and everything. you can find it easily for free online, the book that is. its a good read.

i will say though that it was pretty scummy of him to publish the book having it detail his relationship with carrie (not explicitly, like) when she specifically asked him not to, and using pseudonyms to get around it, that was fucked up; but at the same time i cant fucking blame him! having all your friends suddenly turn on you to save their own reputations, everyone treating you as some evil monster for the smallest of human failings. i dont blame him for wanting to atleast give his side of the story.

idk, it really is a good example of the childish backbiting nature of the fandom-left i think, which WILL ultimately be its doom; and we all know it. and if you disagree with me, well, feel free leave a comment in the doobly-doo, and Dont Forget To Be Awesome!

[teddybeartoji]

6, 14, 21, 28 for moji and mihime pretty please :3

SALEMM!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEETHIS IS SO FUN!!! ILYY THANK YOU FOR DROPPING BY MY LOVE:33

FOR MIJI

6. what was the most embarrassing thing to happen between you and your f/o before, during and/or after sex?

me sobbing after it:////// not crying, SOBBBBINGGGG. like i just got so overwhelmed yk?? he fucks so good and so deep and he's so heavy and he's like everywhere and it felt heavenly and then it just happened... i mean he didn't think it was embarrassing, he was super fucking worried at first actually lmao. but then he gave me the aftercare i needed aaand he actually didn't tease me for it either. (too much at least)(i am very grateful)(bc i still feel a little embarrassed abt it..)

oh and for him!!! in the beginning of our relationship, he came in his pants:3 and obviously i don't think that's embarrassing but ohhh he was hiding his face and stammering out an apology and yeahhh:(((( i just reassured him that it's okay and that i think it's hot hehe

14. what's something that usually gets your f/o in the mood?

just when i'm all over him!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can get very clingy and touchy and i love just climbing onto his lap with my hands around his neck and just pressing kisses to his jaw and to his cheeks and lips and throat and adam's apple aaaand that gets him all squirmy and veeeery very handsy hehehehe:33

21. how does your f/o taste?

kinda bitter and liike salty?? bUTTTTTT DON'T GET ME WRONG I AM NOT PICKYY I AM EATING HIM UPP ALWAYS AND FOREVERRRR:333

28. how wrecked/spent does your f/o look by the time the two of you are done? do they have a dazed look on their face? completely disheveled hair? chest heaving for breath?

i answered this here too buttt!!! THE ANSWER IS ALL OF THE ABOVEEE!!!!!!!!!!! HE GETS SUPER FUCKED OUTT!!!!!! like yea ofc i'm way worse lmao but it's not like he's just sitting there all ready to go on with his day/night. he's tired, he's borderline dozing off on top of me or under me. oh and he runs sooo fucking hot. like the blanket isn't even on the bed anymore and he warmth stays in his body for soo long like it takes him a while to cool down. but hhhhhhh he looks sooo good like this:3333333333333 i luv him

FOR MIHIME

6. what was the most embarrassing thing to happen between you and your f/o before, during and/or after sex?

.... when i couldn't get the strap on correctly. sighh that was horrible. like i put my leg in the wrong hole bc i was just so excited yk??? and i was red like a damn tomato................... hhhhhhhhhhhh i hated that. she laughed super fucking sweetly though:(( and then rushed to help me out

she got suuuuuper super embarrassed when we kindagot caught lmao. i didn't mind that at all but ohh my god she looked like she was abt to puke. poor girl:((( it didn't help that i... kept teasing her abt it too lmao she kinda hates me i think..

14. what's something that usually gets your f/o in the mood?

thigh and tummy kisses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she's soooo weak for them and it's the cutest fucking thing in the worldd!!!!!!! she gets super flustered and sooosooo twitchyy and sooooooo fucking wet - she's pushing my head away buuut in reality she's not even trying like there's absolutely no strength behind her shoves lmao she's adorable i love her so much

21. how does your f/o taste?

sounds super basic but... like heaven ok. she's so fucking sweet??? i didn't even know that was possible??? idk she has a magical pussy alright<333333333

28. how wrecked/spent does your f/o look by the time the two of you are done? do they have a dazed look on their face? completely disheveled hair? chest heaving for breath?

SHE LOOKS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PRETTYYY:((((((( HAIR SPLAYED OVER THE PILLOWS AND THE MATTRESS, CHEEKS N NOSE N LIPS N EARS N N NECK N CHEST ALLL RED AND BLUSHYY:(((( she's panting and squirming and she's hiding her face:((( she looks soooso fucked outtt wahhhhhhhhhhhh she's perfect!!!

spicy selfship asks

[justagalwhowrites]

Which Pedro asker here… Omg, I love that you chose that picture for NIT bc it isn’t one I see posted often 🥰 And that’s exactly how I pictured for Din!! That scene lives in my mind rent free. In the moment I probably read it like ten times. It was SUCH an amazing face reveal for all the Din fics I’ve read.

Good for them OBVIOUSLY like God damn.

Cannot wait for your next story to start!! You are so giving. Soo many great fics have an age gap which I like but I’m excited for one that isn’t (NIT has been such a nice balance where age is maybe a thing but not really relevant). Also, that era Pedro is just… something else.

Ahhh Hi Bestie!

I LOVE that photoshoot of Pedro. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. Of course, that man is so damn photogenic that put him in front of a camera and I'm going to be happy about it.

And AHHHH OMG I'm so happy you loved that scene! That was one of the scenes that I came up with when I was first thinking about the fic. I knew the dynamic I wanted for Din and Doll, her background, that scene and their wedding. Everything else kind of built out from there but that moment for me was just PEAK.

I hope y'all like the new story! I think it's going to be a bit different. I'm not usually huge on super big age gaps? There certain power dynamic things can make me a little uncomfy with it (no hate AT ALL to people who read or write it, absolutely nothing wrong with it and I definitely understand the appeal, it's just not always my vibe.) BUT that's not a hard and fast rule by any means, @joelscruff 's Feelings on Fire is one of my favorite things EVER in part because of the age gap! It's just not necessarily something I think I'd be good at writing. I do enjoy the tropes of BFD and DBF Joel, though! It's been fun to write those in a slightly different way - where some of the taboo is still there - and I'm glad you're enjoying New in Town!

The age thing has been a weird spot for me as a writer? I think I'm older than a lot of writers in the fandom (I'm 33 so 🤷🏻‍♀️) and I prefer to write things I think I can connect with. I've never been someone in their 50s and my closest friends kind of top out in the mid-40s range. I don't feel like I intimately know life past like 45 so I'm not drawn toward writing it. But I do like putting Joel with someone more his contemporary for a lot of things. Yearling is an odd one for that, where there is a sizable age gap (Bambi is almost 43 at this point in the fic, Joel is about to turn 60) but since they met when she was in her 40s and he was in his 50s, their ages aren't really considered by each other. They're just two adults who are middle aged, the end. Compare that to Lavender where Joel was just 11 years older than Doc (a much more common age gap, I think) but their relative ages played a much bigger role early in the fic and then became non-existent as a concern. I haven't written a full fic without some kind of age gap for Joel - even though it's not really a focus of any of my fics - so I'm excited to write a Joel and a reader who are my age!

ANYWAY I went off on a tangent there but lol thank you so so much for reading and reaching out! Love you!!!

[kinda-obssessed]

soo, there are a bunch of songs that fit caleb. some songs can be quoted and some songs as a whole can fit him. right? right.

...what do you think of 'no longer you' for caleb? like. okay, each epic the musical songs fit the LADS men. maybe that can be another post for another time but genuinely. like. do you see the vision???

caleb is losing himself each and every day, it won't take long before he loses that 7% of himself too. the song 'no longer you' SUITS him. it screams him.

maybe i'll write something for it, for him. rambling halfway through has me brainrotting for more ideas of fwb!caleb. im doomed. maybe i should change my name is 'obviously-obsessed'. oh god.

anyways, likewise, here are some ideas that would probably never be fleshed out at all so y'all can jst read them.

some of the songs like - i know those eyes/this man is dead, or wildflower, just screams him sometimes that i curl up in a shrimp and began frantically typing only to lose my ideas halfway. my brain hates me

01: you didn't mean to hurt me so i kept it to myself (wildflower).

[ thinking of how mc doesnt push for things even though she should, each time he leaves and he doesn't reach back to her makes her feel queasy - is there others out there? others better than her, someone who isnt as broken, shattered and hurt as her? the feeling of betrayal will never go away, it still lingers and it hurts her sm. ]

you would wake up disoriented sometimes. You remained oblivious of course, to the implications of what it could've mean.

you would shrug it off because they were no different from your terrible nightmares and that eye that stares down at you.

you shouldn't think so much about it, right? Then, why? Why would you see this person before your eyes, kind and warm and gentle, holding you so close..

why was his expression..

you should ask, but each time, he holds your hands and introduces himself, his warmth only melts away this terrible pain and that hole that feels wrong-

it's filled with him, like an apple that has been stripped down to its core. you would be whole again when he is around.

02: this man is dead, he is no more. he died a little each day. : in which zayne watches mc lose her mind, become grief-stricken with her loss of caleb. and now that he is back, he knows that that isnt caleb but what can he say against someone who loves and bleeds and lives only for him? so he quietly observes from afar. tldr, mc dancing with caleb and zayne watches. angst, angst, angst.

think of it as ballroom dancing with caleb. a masquerade party to be specific. but nothing beats zayne's eyes and he sees you dancing with him. you are only too happy, oblivious to the one standing before you is long gone.

man, there are more. i want to spam more but more means involving other characters and im already scared that i might be tagging it wrong. do you have to mention their names if the blog is 75% abt caleb? no? anyways. i would do a playlist..but 😞 im not creative like that.

[dykelibraries]

sup its me jack welcome to my vent palace heres my motherfucking sityaaation trigger warning for maybe everything under the sun this is genuinely gravely serious but ill try not to go in depth w anything.

yah tldr here my awesome backstory dads a pedophile i cut him off a few years ago he did some narsty stuff and my mom knew and didnt dooo anything. and she says she hates him now but my brother still visits him and im not allowed to say anything. my dad also severellllyyyy neglected me (he had sole custody for a whilee)

uhh my mom keeps making Choices in men. her last boyfriend tried to kill us and my mom had me lie to the cops about it. her current boyfie is a racist and has referred to meee and my brother and family with slurful wordage maybe a couple times. and he constantly threatens to kick us out if we ever say anything negative about him but then my mom gets on my ass about not liking him.

my mom straight up fakes my identity constantly soo she has control of my bank account and medical records and like. i dunno. everything that should be private. she comes in with me to doctors appointments and will lie to the doctors if she doesnt agree with a diagnosis. also she hid my social security card and birth certificate so thaaat suuuuucks

she refuses to let me learn how to drive, and. gestures. i have horrible chronic pain, i cant usually walk past my driveway in all honesty. soo i cant really GO anywhere.

uhh my mom kinda gaslit gatekeep girlboss Manipulated me out of reporting my dad when i had a chance to. and then kinda sorta told me i couldnt trust my therapist. who i havent seen in a while so idk. my mom also refuses to get my brother help with his eating disorder and kinda. encourages it a lot if im being honest.

uhh i recently figured out that i think my mom may have been posting child porn? of my brother and i growing up. which isnt superbly sick i dont think. idk maybe im being dramatic. i posted a couple comics on here about some stuff shes said/done in this context so i guess yall can decide if anyones even reading this.

i guess this is more petty teenage bullshit than a serious problem but shes really mean to me. and its not great i think. idk she does this thing where shell act like im an unstable and horrible person and i have been since like..i think three? is the number she usually uses. but she acts like im the devillll and shes calm and collected so Obviously im in the wrong. and shell say really mean things and act like i started an argument by standing wrong. like leaning on a wall or smth. i guess shes kinda mean at kinda. vulnerable times too. like i remembered. something my dad did. and she kept yelling at me for crying cuz it wasnt a big deal. sophie said it was a really big deal but i dunno. or another time when i had a really really bad ptsd episode at school and when i asked to go home early she made me stay Past the end of the school day bc she wanted to teach me i couldnt quit. or another time when i had a chronic pain flareup while at work and my boss straight up TOLD ME to go home (librarians arwe chill like that) and she came to my workplace and uhh. gestures. had me stay multiple hours past when my shift would end. while i was like. yk breaking down cuz of the pain. she was there the entire time and just refused to take me home or give me the painkillers she keeps in her purse for Her chronic pain. i dunno. shes really mean to me.

uhh she checks like. a decent. amoutn of my social media. she slipped up one time and told me. n shes had friends in the past tell her things behind my back so i get kinda nervous telling people anything tbh. and she listens in on verbal conversations.

this isnt her fault i guess but it makes things harder for sure. but i dont havee my high school diploma. long and complicated story i dont feel like telling. shrug. and i dont have literally. Any friends offline, nor family i can talk to outside of this house.

i dunno what to say after this bwomp. if you read all this heres a sticker ⭐

[earanie]

soo. it's been a while since my last long rant. here we go. I'm currently ignoring the fact that I have a journal bc of reasons, so it's gonna happen here.

welp. my no-good weekend (lots of non fun stuff to do + horrible cold that won't get better + job-related anxieties + classic existencial dread) started as no-good and ended up being one of the worst weekends of the year. ha!

exactly, what does one do when one finds out that the person they love is seeing someone else? because I've tried going on with my day as I was supposed to, as if it didn't feel like a piece of ~something~ had been just torn away from me - and I don't feel like it has worked very well.

and I've got no right to feel like this. All this grief I'm feeling, I can't put it anywhere. I can't do anything with it. I can feel it on the tips of my fingers, I can feel it everywhere. I feel shattered and I've got nothing, nothing to show for it.

The person I love does not love me back. That's it. That's all.

And if I just hadn't convinced myself into hoping-- into thinking, into believing - in signs and words that oh so very clearly were not there!

I had one kiss - that obviously meant nothing. And that's all. As happy as I was in that moment i truly wish I did not have a memory like that to carry around. It feels worse. To know that we went so close and in the end they decided i was just not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough - just not enough.

They kissed me once and decided it was not worth repeating. And I was kissed, and let unravel in my heart all the love I've always carried for them.

It's unfair, it's not supposed to be like this, it's ugly. It's so ugly. I feel so ugly. And unwanted. And just a bit broken - like there's something in me that doesn't work quite properly, and it never has - and that's why I can't have what my heart so dearly desires.

And the worst is - there is nothing to say. There is nothing to do. There is no reproach to make. And nothing I can do better, or differently or - there is nothing. I can't put this grief anywhere. I'll just keep swallowing it back, as I've always swallowed back the love. Maybe they'll mutually water themselves down. Maybe one day there will be nothing left to swallow.

In the meantime I feel like my very soul has been scraped on the gravel - same as the knees of a child who has been told not to run. And in the same way I'm trying to hold back the tears of hurt, and humiliation, that I know are of my own doing. But it still burns so fucking much. And it still feels so, so raw.

I hate them, and I love them. And I hate myself for both of these feelings.

I truly believe that if it was not to be them, then it's not going to be anyone. I just won't have that kind of love. Maybe I sound ridicolusly dramatic, but so be it. I feel it, I know. As much as I hope to be wrong. I know they were ~it~ for me. The Person. They've always been. Since 10 years they have.

It's not fixable.