#what im actually doing is struggling to draw
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Could you perhaps draw how Penelope and Odysseus met in your monster AU?
it was a pretty friendly meeting i think
#file name for this was meet cute btw#ALSO I THOUGHT FIREALPACA WAS GOING TO CRASH AT THE END GENUINELY BC IT WAS LAGGING SO HARD#like it was STRUGGLING i would draw a line and there was a 4 second delay#but its fine i got it#fiddled with the lighting a lot here#sighh still not all that happy with it but i dont wanna look at this anymore and also im convinced firealpaca will explode if i keep drawin#anyways art tags time#doodles#epic the musical#epic monster au#odysseus#penelope#uhh do i odypen tag this#yknow what its odypen at heart <3 to me#odypen#uhh to be clear this isnt really canon#i dont have an actual idea yet#like i said before this au doesnt really have much story atm#if anyone feels like making stuff up go ahead#for me i just sorta made this au because its fun to draw!#anyways i do hesitantly have as part of odys backstory for this au that he used to be a monster hunter before he got bit#so this is actually pretty plausible#ok done rambling now eheh
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lil guy and big ouppy form
#working on reference sheets. again#well kinda#what im actually doing is struggling to draw#but yall know how it is it'll pass... eventually
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daucus carota
#landscape#digital art#speedpaint#study#digital painting#hey so theres a few things not quite right with me :)#one of them being my insane perfectionism#and the other day i realised#theres so many weird rules in my brain that im barely even aware of#im stopping myself from painting things i would like to paint because theyre... too easy???#and like anything that isnt a struggle is worthless apparently#but guess what friends :))))))#its actually Allowed to do something that is fun and easy#wild right?#wow#anyway heres this dune landscape that i churned out in under an hour not bc that is easy but bc im really good at drawing lol#featuring my favourite flower#queen anne's lace
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Bribed with Chocolate. The way it should be.
Part 22 || First || Previous || Next
--Full Series--
More to come as this is a two-parter. But you know how I am with schedules.
Bonus:
I think this was an equally possible reaction from Chara.
#Chara and Azzy have another talk#Finally Chara shows their mischievous side.#and Azzy knows Chara's language well#my art#deltarune chara timeline#art#bread#deltarune#ngl im so happy with how that chocolate shake came out. I want to eat it so bad#yay 6 pages of taking :') i hope you guys like that lmao#Glad I got this one done in basically a month and a week! Hah. I'm trying me best :') Halloween.. Exams and a ton of other things came up#surprisingly these backgrounds weren't terrible to do... I mean took more than two hours but you know what I mean#i struggled with how to frame the background though. I actually liked drawing it. But because both the background and my characters--#--are super colorful I have to make sure I don't muddle the whole page.#Ive been thinking of doing the overworld in black and white recently... may help me actually finish the comic lol. idk i may make a poll#gonna try and get the new part out in maybe a month again? sorry. Thanksgiving and Christmas get me exhausted.
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heeyyy gaaanggg
the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.
#my art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#resident evil 7#ethan winters#goddd PLEAAASEEEE#i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to#NOT post it. embarrassment be damned#but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE#I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING#HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this#happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly#thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin#about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD#im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss#i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it#like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much#never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd#ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and#that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING#anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.
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after finally playing scarlet witch long enough to get this icon ive decided that you really have to love wanda to get this icon
anyway Bonus cause Heh....... Fam.....
#marvel rivals#snap chats#UGH FINALLY#got everything i needed to get done today Done so of course that meant it was finally time to grind out the rest of wanda's proficiency#and yeah no there's a reason she's ranked the lowest dps on a lot of tier lists i think im so sorry wanda#she's not UNUSABLE she absolutely has her uses and it's not automatically game-losing if you pick her but Man...#i think her biggest draw back's her ult you have to use it so carefully and it has so many counters#you're really more safe not using it unless you have the most optimal set up or you can sneak it in an get maybe a pick or two#idk. i have a vid bookmarked on how the number one wanda player plays so i might watch that later just to see what i could do better#but for now.. Im Done... i prob wont play wanda again unless we need a dps and we have a mags or i feel silly.. or she gets a new skin..#but how rare of circumstances are those am i right.. lol ..#i could prob sit here and do an actual long and fair analysis of her playstyle like i did with mags but unless someone asks i prob wont#me usually play mags/tank definitely factors a bit into my struggling tho i do want to be fair and say that LOL#im far too used to being able to front line without any concern about dying easily and having a lot of defensive options#as i began to play more SW it became easier for me to know when to pull back as well as recognize i cant always engage by myself#so i def appreciate what i was able to learn while playing SW .. gotta remember i am made of glass and not steel anymore#cant wait to do all of this if charles gets added to the game ajVLKEJAELKJ if he's support i think ill have an easier time#i find support to be a lot more suitable for me as a role than dps- love that for me i love the two roles no one likes playing jVLKAEJ#its not that dps isnt fun or i dont find dps valuable as a role.. just aint for me... and thats ok..#anyways.... im gonna have dinner lol...
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Thh crew save me Thh crew....
I wanted to post drawings + some headcannons of all of them at the same time but that's taking too damn long so I'm doing it in parts instead
#danganronpa#trigger happy havoc#dr thh#sayaka maizono#junko enoshima#mukuro ikusaba#mukuro ikusaba. the 16th student laying hidden somewhere within the school. the one they call the ultimate despair... watch out for her#drawing#art#my art#i guess ill do two at a time#fuck you devs im giving my girl camo pants#rotc kid looking aahhh i love her (she's an actual child soldier and a mass terrorist)#junko is an enigma to me#you can say she's any sexuality/ gender and i would agree with you#got hit with transfem sayaka and i haven't looked back since#sayakas sexuality is something i keep changing my mind about#right now I'm on pan#idk maybe sayaka is struggling with this as well lmao#“no no no im absolutely straight.....” sees a really hot girl#“.....nvm I'm TOTALLY a lesbian........OHHH BUT WHAT IF IM BI???????”#“But there ARE some non binary people i would date.... oh god what am i supposed to do......”#and then her manager pops in like “Maizono honey your shows in 30 minutes.” and Sayakas just like:#'well time to put that back in the box! I'll figure it out later!'#(she doesn't.)#wow this was a RAMBLE lmaoooo
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I TRIED TO DRAW BADLY ON PURPOSE TO GET LIKE A MABEL-Y STYLE AND ITS FUCKING BETTER THAN THE ACTUAL ART IVE BEEN DOING RECENTLY NOO
MY CAREER IS OVER
I DONT HAVE A CAREER
#gravity falls#gf#gf fanart#gravity falls fanart#gf mabel#gravity falls mabel#mabel pines#mabel gravity falls#mabel pines gravity falls#fun fact: those are all actual crayola colors#im dedicated what can i say#how did i do the hair so effortlessly i always struggle with it oh my GOD dude#this is bullshit#connor draws
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oo u want 2 draw soo bad..
#i hate that my ability to draw is so conditional#its soo frustrating but i dont know how to break it. this has been the one thing thats never changed.ill never be free#times like rn i just do studies but its soo fking BORINGGG euuhh...#but if i try 2 draw something for funsies i just stare at the blank canvas. literally immobile. & u know how people r like just draw#something anyways. a line. something. and its like no i cant do that oi cant even do that u underestimate my freak#i want 2attack myself from the pov of someone else#i think im having the realization tht i will never be able to do art stuff frls and its driving me crazy i think.#like im actually sick and unwell frm the thought of it.my friend commissioned me and im ab 2 send the money back#after two weeks bc i cant do it im literally frozen dude.i want 2 cry and die and explode into a million pieces#wait im back to add more.idk if anyone feels the same way but its like. i know its entirely a Me issue its a mental block issue#theres something thats not connecting in my head but its like.why is it so easy for everyone else ykwim...and thats a lie too right#like everyone else struggles w art and its not.it cant exist Without you struggling and practicing hard and trusting yourself#but in my brain im just convinced that like.i cant do this i cant do this like everyone else can do it like second nature and it freaks me#tf out#but also its the one thing i want to do more than anything else in my life and so like if i cant do it i dont know what to do.ughh.#not me freaking the fuck out rn lawl.lols.even#and on top of it i feel like i cant express myself well and i think my friend. < SOOO awesome and well meaning and NICE and legitimately#pushing me to try and believe that i can do this stuff but i feel like they wont understand the sort of like.mental block im struggling wit#like its less that i hate my art or something i dont its more like.i just feel soo physically restrained and incapable of doing it.suddenly#i cant think and i cant do anything.i have no creativity i have no ideas my mind is quite literally blank and empty
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tumblr said draw something bad so I did but I'm mad I still didn't feel anything
#man i started tagging this and i cant even bring myself to do it. hashtag art hashtag illustration hashtag capitalism.#sorry to be sadposting... tumblr is the only place i can admit ive actually been really really struggling with my love for art...#i should be grateful. i should be thankful for the fact that i can do art as my job. i shouldnt be whining about it like this.#but theres a hole in my soul where my joy for creating used to be and i dont know how to fix it. i want to love to draw again.#its been like this for probably over a year now and i dont know what to do. i cant abandon everything ive been working on for 7 years.#im also unemployable. so its not like i would dare to quit moonlume...but i just want to find joy in it again...#but capitalism has dug its wretched claws into my skull so badly that everything has been feeling incredibly soulless. i hate it.#anyway. might delete this later. its unprofessional but this is the one website where i can let go of professionalism for 5min and be human.#i dont hate what i do and i really am thankful..i just i wish i wasnt so stressed about making everything look good and perfect and sellable#but at this point its subconsciously connected to my survival that every time i think about drawing i stress myself out before i even start#ugh idk. neither here nor there. cant quit but dont feel connected to my work but cant change what i do or i will alienate my audience 👍
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stuff
#sorry for disappearing :( i’m in a really bad place right now. thanks for being patient. if you see this i love you.#tried to post these last night but tumblr was not having it and i was far too exhausted to fight with it. i’m really still too tired to do#much but i wanted to post … something#these are things from an au that i’ve been thinking about cuz of a video i saw on tiktok LOL nothing interesting just a kemonomimi au where#kieran is a crow and javier is (obv) a coyote and they like to play and have fun like the little animals in love they are#except the javi’s in the bottom left corner. those are just doodles. i love his responses to arthur antagonizing him LOL#and also finally jotted down the difference in javier’s hair bows after he got together with kieran#hopefully i’ll do something more with that but for now i’m just glad to have it down on paper somewhere#also sorry they’re all naked. clothes are a hassle.#i’m gonna try to get to some asks soon :’] slowly but surely … thank you to those who keep giving me the time of day despite my inability to#actually show up. it means a lot. i’m really struggling right now but it helps me to know that i’ve got somewhere i can come back to when im#able and that there are people out there who like what i do enough to wait for me#i’m not going to tag this with anything outside of my blog specific tags#other than#rdr2#and for organization purposes#image#art#hero draws sometimes#hero’s kieran#hero’s javier#hero’s javieran
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you're kidding me. mike is doing TEN TIMES WORSE than the season's Designated Trauma Character. what if i blew up the sun
#is mike wheeler fucking okay#st#joyce is worried about will having two incidents#MIKE HAS TWENTY#I was talking about this scene the other day and all I remembered was that karen lists off 4 things mike did#which is a question of how recent they are or how long they've been ignoring it to bombard him with all at once#stealing from nancy. swearing at a teacher. plagiarising an essay. drawing graffiti in the bathroom at school#AND THEN HIS PARENTS FOLLOW UP WITH#THAT ISN'T EVEN EVERYTHING#NOT EVEN CLOSE#THIS IS FREQUENT AND UNSURPRISING AND THEIR ATTEMPTS TO CURB THIS BEHAVIOUR ARE HAVING NO EFFECT#the wheelers doing what joyce thinks is bullshit btw. ignoring the problem. letting the traumatised child continue as is without support#IS MIKE WHEELER OKAY!!!!!!!!!#CAN SOMEONE TAKE CARE OF THIS CHILD PLEASE#IM SO CONCERNED#wait okay they've got me doing maths again..... will's 2 is for the month and mike's 20 is for the year#which is probably bc joyce and jonathan actually try to talk about the problem so it can be separated out into 10 sets of 2#which makes the problem smaller and manageable#meanwhile the wheelers probably ignored mike's issues for the entire year until it built up to TWENTY! TWENTY!!!!!! THAT IS SO MANY#and ofc nancy's still in her conformity era with steve so they don't even know she's struggling#she's gonna go cry in the bathroom in a second and then come back to dinner with barb's parents like nothing happened
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Thinking abt how much adhd contributes to art block?
Like... a non exhsustive list looks smth like this:
Gets bored if a piece takes longer than a few days
Loses interest if smth more interesting comes around
Procrastinates starting a project bc of mental/emotional/physical overwelm
Doesn't start a project bc there are Too Many Ideas
Gets bored once you know what the outcome will be
A thousand uncompleted sketches and thumbnails *
* (not actually a bad thing, do this More actually. It gets the ideas out!)
Gets discurraged without external validation
Becomes adicted to external validation
Incapable of being reliable in a sustained fashion
Misses deadlines bc of time blindness
Either you get to Plan a long term project or Do a long term project. Either way it doesn't get done bc you can't do both, and even if you could... see point 1.
#muffin rambles#personal#its a lot actually and like#ya kno ive been p mean to myself about it for the past yew years but like#i shouldnt??#it wont take my disability away#i mean i didnt Know that hobbies were affected by adhd ubtil i started doing Other Hobbies and realized this is Not Just an Art Thing#this is a problem no matter what im doing#and it happens more often w hobbies bc i can afford to let it happen (unless im doing a comission or smth)#so..#yeee#if ur an adhd artist out there and youve passed 21 and find that the steam has vety suddenly ran out#its okay#ruvi posts abt the art lyf again oops#currently im struggling bc Too Many Ideas#its trucky to be like#okay i have so and so much time so i cant give this drawing my full attention if i Also want to draw this other thing within this arbitrary#time frame#like it just has a way of ruining the fun#working on that
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Also forgot to share this beauty i drew a few days ago
#localgardenweed#the weed is rambling#hetalia#hws#hetalia japan#hws japan#i need him carnally#what who said that#who said that#i just like giggle and tee hee#I drew this during class and idk why i felt sorta embarrassed cause i always worry i come of as one of *those* people when it comes to japan#like i know its not that deep but ive always been paranoid about itNOOOO NOOO GUYS WAIT NO#IM NOT THOSE ‘OH SUGOI JAPAN IS SO PERFECT AND HEAVEN THEY ARE SO ADVANCED AND I JUST WANNA BE JAPANESE’ NO NO NOOOOOOOO#IM JUST A GIRL WHO JUST LIKES A MANNWHO HAPPENS TO BE THE PERSONIFICATION OF JAPAN HIMSELF#IDK WHY IM SO FREAKED OUT OVER IT CAUSE LIKE#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL ANY NORMAL PERSON I HAVE A CRUSH ON HETALIA WORLD STARS JAPAN#I SOUND CRAZY#I AM CRAZY#anyway i do love drawing him and i wanna still figure out how to actually draw his body cause i end up making him super twinky#half my drawings kinda do anyway cause i struggle at widening shoulders and chests but I WILL NOT LET HIM BE A TWINK#In my mind he is a upside down triangle ontop of a rectangle like broad shoulders and then the rest of his body is hust a straight shot down#i think mostly his clothes give him different shape languages like seen here like his oants flare out so like its kinda hourglassy#anyway imma shut up now i must attend to my duties
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happy late halloween !:]
My ramblings/thought process down below (warning: it's a lot)
so yes this is based of a type of- normal(more or less) au (bc i kinda didn't want to draw their robotics with costumes and the halloween theme in warframe's lore didn't quite fit haha,,,)
I based the entire thing surrounding Eudico, Zuud and Legs/Thursby (?) with how I envisioned halloween to go for the 3 of them since they are a little family, so here are my thoughts:
Eudico takes care of Legs' costume and gives 0 shits about her own until Zuud comes along and pushes her to put on something for the little guy (since- you know, she is the one that goes out with Legs for trick or treating! can't go without a costume, right? right?? come on put something for the kid!)
It works, obviously
But Eudico's costume is super last minute and there's just a pair of silly animal ears and we are also left with Zuud's artistic skills-- -- ...and there we go you have your costume (guess who's enduring having their face painted with silly whiskers)
Zuud's ''costume'' just relies on Legs' bandages that were left for his costume and she's happy to be matching with him, it's a little bonding time they have
This is, obviously SUPER self indulgent, I just love them a lot and wanted to see them happy with heavy based silly (and probably ooc) hcs based on this au--- still, I had fun! I just love them a ton
Okay that's it byeee:]
#no Eudico could not go matching with Legs i wanted HER with the silly ears okay#actually i wanted to give Zuud another costume but i was running out of time and i didnt know what to do so-#Zuud was the most time consuming omg i could NOT remember how to draw her vibes#normal tags now haha#eudico#rude zuud#legs#warframe#fanart#warframe spoilers#i mean i think#if you read EVERYTHING im SO sorry but SO thankful tysm ilyyy#i struggled posting this i've never posted a ramble this long
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fanart is so hard to draw. stupid characters having stupid details that are out of my stupid comfort zone AAAAAGH
#ITS A STRUGGLE#at least pretty much everything is stuff i already wanted to learn but had just been putting off for whatever reason (procrastination) but#first cotl making me draw furries. and then animal crossing making them more complicated (tom nook's nose confused me)#then gravity falls making me draw old people. and now in dbh i am facing the struggle of Markus's subtle facial hair because i cant get away#with just doing a gradient that goes halfway up the face like i did with gravity falls. because it wouldn't look right trust me ive already#tried out of sheer desperation it was horrible#AGH#and then theres the whole thing of translating other styles into yours. especially when thise styles have vastly different levels of detail#compared to yours so you have to decide what kind of details to add and what kind of details to get rid of and AAAAGHHGHHH#also dbh characters having no bangs. most of them anyway#PLEASE bangs are the only thing that can hide how bad i am at hairlines!!!!!!!!#but at least that part is easy to learn. i can draw connor. hes the easiest dbh character to draw probably#hank seems like he'll have easier facial hair than Markus considering hes got an actual beard and also the fact that i will be a lot less#scared if making him look old because well. he is old#i mean hes only the same age as my dad but like..#he looks old. all his hair is gray. unlike my dad. only half my dads hair is gray#anyways point is im grateful for how much drawing characters that are Not Mine has improved my art but its so difficult#i need to draw my ocs...... and then I'll get back to Markus#i say that as if i haven't been drawimg my ocs all day anyways#rambling in the tags#artist
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