#currently im struggling bc Too Many Ideas

[ruvigapo]

Thinking abt how much adhd contributes to art block?

Like... a non exhsustive list looks smth like this:

Gets bored if a piece takes longer than a few days

Loses interest if smth more interesting comes around

Procrastinates starting a project bc of mental/emotional/physical overwelm

Doesn't start a project bc there are Too Many Ideas

Gets bored once you know what the outcome will be

A thousand uncompleted sketches and thumbnails *

* (not actually a bad thing, do this More actually. It gets the ideas out!)

Gets discurraged without external validation

Becomes adicted to external validation

Incapable of being reliable in a sustained fashion

Misses deadlines bc of time blindness

Either you get to Plan a long term project or Do a long term project. Either way it doesn't get done bc you can't do both, and even if you could... see point 1.

[nothorses]

I hope this is okay to ask but I’m pretty desperate and googling stuff has failed me, so do you or one of your followers have recommendations on how to deal with the BO that comes with taking testosterone? I never had BO that couldn’t just be managed by showering enough and putting on just any deodorant but now that I’m taking T I sweat a lot and I smell bad and I nothing I do seems to fix it. My boss has politely mentioned it several times now despite all my effort and it’s so mortifying and embarrassing.

Things I’ve tried and am currently doing include so many different deodorants which I bring to work and reapply, putting baking powder in my shoes, on top of general basic hygiene. But none of it seems to make a dent and it doesn’t help that I can’t really change clothes or shoes throughout the day. I have to wear closed toed shoes and a lab coat and my job is pretty active, plus it’s 10 minutes walk from the parking lot and it’s over 100F or 40 C right now so when I arrive at work I’m already pouring sweat. I also have a large chest so it all gets under my bra and soaks into it and by the end of the day the bottom part of my bra reeks.

I know some ocasional BO on a busy day can’t be helped but none of the other people at work including other male coworkers seem to have the same issue at all, so there’s got to be a solution but I haven’t found it. Im thinking of trying antiperspirants but I also know I need to sweat and I would rather not put my health at risk. So if anyone has something that works for them please let me know bc im really desperate here.

First I want to say: you're not doing anything wrong. You probably just sweat more than some other folks, and that's not your fault, and you shouldn't feel bad about it. I'm gonna give you some ideas to try if you haven't yet, but I don't know how much you've already tried, and it sounds like you've been through a lot already.

I also have always had terrible BO, and the only thing that helped at all pre-T was "prescription strength" deodorant. I honestly have had less of an issue since starting T, weirdly enough, but part of that is also that I physically cannot stand to shower any less frequently than every single morning (not necessarily a good thing lol), and I also started using antibacterial products on my armpits when I shower.

Currently I use benzoyl peroxide body wash on my armpits, which can be drying, but it hasn't caused me issues so far (just look for Panoxyl, other brands have caused irritation for me and my partner both). I used Betadine surgical scrub before that for a bit (you collect weird shit when you work with horses 🤷‍♂️) and that worked well, too- plus it's less likely to irritate skin.

I also find that certain shirts cause me to sweat there more, and those also tend to be the more form-fitting shirts that get up into my armpits. That skin def needs to breathe.

My partner has had trouble with feet/shoes in the past, and he's used cedar shoeforms to mitigate that (cedar is also antibacterial!). He also makes sure any shoes he gets are breathable (not leather), and if they are leather, he gives them at least a day or two between wears. Probably good practice if you notice any kind of smell on any of your shoes.

You mention baking powder, and I'm not sure if you meant baking soda and just mixed them up (which I do all the time lmao) but just in case: if you are using baking powder, the one you want is baking soda.

I don't have much advice for chest sweat, except that you may want to consider bringing an extra bra (and maybe an extra pair of socks if you're noticing it before the end of the day) to change into midway through the day. You can also look for more breathable fabrics in general, especially athletic-wear, which is already designed to help wick sweat and mitigate those issues.

Lastly, I want to stress again that you're not doing anything wrong. Some people have more trouble with this than others, and if you're really struggling in a way nobody around you is, it may be that you've got something going on in your body that they don't have to deal with. This could be a medical thing as well (like acne!!), and there's no shame in seeking medical solutions for it. Talk to your doctor if you can; it sounds like it's causing you distress, and you deserve to be comfortable.

[blitzyn]

prospect

toji fushiguro x m!reader

request: none

a/n -> sighs and explodes i need this man injected in my blood right NOW. nobody will be able to convince me that this man doesn’t have a breeding kink. sometimes i forget im writing for real people on a real platform and it jump scares me when people comment on my work. but in a good way ofc i love seeing people’s thoughts on my stuff. ANYWAYS. REQS.

wc -> 4.7k words of filth LMAO

cw -> anal fingering, anal sex, spit as lube, throat fucking, using “pussy” and “cunt” as a synonym, mild impact play, breeding kink, mirror sex, finger hooking, bondage, begging, brief gun play, when i say “little” i mean that in a condescending sorta way and not bc the reader is described to be petite and tiny, not beta read obv

"You're a tricky one, I'll give you that," is the first thing the man before you said. It'd been quite a while since the first time the two of you met in a dingy bar hidden in the sketchier parts of town. He hadn't been trying to kill you then - he was but a fellow patron eager to ruin his liver. Originally, he had a strange gut feeling about you. Like a pretty thing like you wasn't all it seemed, but he shrugged it off after a well-placed look from you offering to buy a couple more rounds.

So when he's given another job, the first thing he does is laugh. He didn't really mean it at first, but really, the irony was hilarious. The guy he nearly got to fuck was his current target: [Name] [L.Name], a rising Jujutsu Sorcerer. He obviously wasn't as strong as the esteemed Gojo Satoru or Geto Suguru, but he was advancing a little faster than many would've liked.

"Thanks. I tried," you replied, seeming much too relaxed for a man about to be assassinated. You were currently stuck on the floor with your arms tied behind your back and your legs bound together by plain, old, ordinary rope. You were a little embarrassed, truthfully, to have been caught by such a mundane trap like this.

You struggled against your restraints a bit, sighing in defeat when you only served to remind yourself just how stuck you were. "These are pretty secure," you started, giving the man before you a laidback smirk. "You experienced?"

Toji gave you a quizzical look for a moment before breaking out in an amused grin, resting his handgun against his shoulder. He definitely wasn't expecting his target to start flirting with him instead of pleading for his life like he was used to. But he'll entertain you for a while. "You could say that."

You huffed through your nose, your eyes lazily flitting around the room. You were making your way back inside the abandoned building you chose to hide in when you suddenly found yourself tied up. It took you a moment to realize you couldn't move when he appeared in front of you, but even less to recognize him as the man you almost got to sleep with. "I would've loved to have you tie me up back then, but this wasn't really what I was thinking about."

"Your phone's a real cockblock, huh?" He chuckled lightly, in an almost mocking manner from what you managed to detect in his voice. "Can't even begin to imagine how long you've had to go without gettin' laid."

You rolled your eyes like he wasn't only there to kill you and get his money. "Don't get me started. There's always something new I have to kill every fuckin' second. My boss thinks it's great training to go out whenever I can."

Right. Technically, you weren't a fully-fledged Sorcerer. You had more of a vigilante-esque vibe to you. You hadn't attended either Jujutsu High School in Tokyo or Kyoto as well, only taught by your family and experiences. Not that that really mattered anyway. You fought, you got strong, and now someone put a hit on you.

You sighed, shifting your body to a more comfortable position before tilting your head back against the wall. “This is the part where I beg for my life, right?” You questioned rhetorically, with an almost bored expression on your face before your eyes lit up with an idea. “I’m not too good at that, but I am good at begging for something else.”

Toji raised an eyebrow in intrigue, unable to fight off the grin at the obvious implication. He didn’t stop you from shamelessly checking him out, but he cut your ogle session short regardless.

“Yeah? Care to elaborate?” He made his way closer, crouching in front of you to get a better view of your face. He knew what you were asking for. He just wanted to know if you’d follow through with it.

Maybe it was the adrenaline making you bold, knowing that he could easily kill you with the pull of a trigger—or maybe it was just because he was really fucking hot. With a quick, obvious glance to his crotch (you could see the imprint of his dick through his sweatpants), you spoke clearly. “I want you to fuck me.”

He liked how forward you were, how unafraid you were to say what you wanted. He swiped his tongue over his lips and nearly laughed at how your eyes darted downwards to watch it. “You call that beggin’?” He taunted, raising his arm to press the tip of his gun against your chin to tilt your head up. “Do it right.”

A shudder ran through your body at his demand, leaving a trail of heat that settled right into your groin. You felt hyper aware of everything—of the cool metal on your skin, of the faint gunpowder scent emanating from the barrel, of your heartbeat thrumming so hard you briefly wondered if he could hear it.

“Oh, please, Mr. Fushiguro,” you whined, staring up at him through your lashes pleadingly. You tried to squeeze your thighs together as you squirmed, attempting to provide your hardening dick friction. “Please fuck me. I’ve been thinking about this whole time. I need it so much.”

“Well, aren’t you a confident little thing,” he remarked with a thoughtful hum, carefully inspecting your reactions. “But what makes you think I won’t just kill you and get my money?”

“Because you haven’t yet,” you replied with a smug undertone in your voice, like you figured him all out. Although, when he dragged his gun up towards your lips, a brief wave of fear washed down your body, settling deep in your chest.

“Really? That’s all you’re going off of?” He tilted his head, watching you through the dark curtain of hair that fell over his piercing eyes. “That’s cute.” He held his finger over the trigger, teasingly flexing it before relaxing just as fast. He found it funny how your confident facade slipped away the moment you remembered that you weren’t talking to a casual friend—that the Sorcerer Killer himself was staring you down the barrel of his gun. But, apparently, that’s what got you all hot and bothered.

“I didn’t think you’d be this desperate.” His scarred lips curled upwards in a predatory grin as he nudged the tip of his gun against your mouth, prying it open. You fought the urge to squirm when he pushed it further, jaw straining, but you tried your best to comply. “You seemed all mysterious ‘n’ unassuming back at the bar. What happened to that? Got me feelin’ like I got the wrong person with the way you’re actin’.”

You tried to shake your head while a garbled noise left your throat, but he kept you firmly in place as he pushed it as far as he could go. Even as you squinted, it was hard not to practically eyefuck him where you sat. Your watery irises trailed over the length of his arm, tracing the bulging veins that patterned over his forearm, dipping back underneath his skin before reappearing in his thick bicep. His shirt did little to hide his chest, squeezing in just the right places to render any woman jealous.

You couldn’t stop your gaze from wandering down, down towards his legs, zeroing in on the dick print he so obviously flaunted like a trophy. Your mouth watered, suddenly finding it hard to swallow. You slid your tongue over the rough metal, imagining that it was his cock stretching your eager throat wide open; imagining the salty taste of his precum, of the scent of his musk, of—

“My eyes’re up here, pretty boy,” he interrupted, pressing the gun up against your palate to snap you out of your stupor and avert your gaze. “If you’re gonna deny bein’ a slut, at least act like it.”

He pulled it out of your drooling mouth, wiping the string of saliva off on your cheek before setting it on the floor with a dull thud. Your face was messy, chest heaving up and down as you panted, expectantly waiting for him to continue like a lost puppy.

“You’re so damn easy,” he commented teasingly, reaching down to palm his cock through his pants. It throbbed under his touch, leaking precum and straining against the fabric. “If I’da known all it took for you to get all nice ‘n’ compliant f’me was a dick down your throat, I’d have my money by now.” There was a hint of honesty to his voice that you couldn’t even find in yourself to protest.

“Please…” you breathlessly whined, trying to writhe out of your binds, but it was tied too tightly around your body to free yourself. “I want it. Stop messing with me.”

“I know.” He reached down to shift you onto your knees, steadying you with a firm hand on the back of your neck. You watched him slide his free hand under his pants to pull his thick cock out, eyes fixated on the leaking tip. He wrapped it around the shaft and leisurely jerked himself off, the wet sounds of his precum sliding along the shaft mixing in with your labored breaths and his quiet groans.

Finally, after what felt like decades, he shuffled forward just enough to press himself against your lips, finding little need to nudge his way inside when you so eagerly parted them for him. You let out a pleased noise at the taste of his precum, beginning to squint and fight the urge to gag when he refused to stop until your nose was buried in his pubes. He held you there for a moment, enjoying the sight of your throat bulging to accommodate his cock.

“You’re takin’ me in so easily,” he purred, sighing in satisfaction at the feeling of your tongue tracing over a prominent vein, making him twitch in your mouth. “Is this what you do? Use your body to live a little longer? 'Cause I gotta say, whatever you're doin' is really payin' off."

You visibly preened at his praise, feeling your dick strain against the fabric of your pants. He let you move at your own pace, watching you hollow your cheeks and slide and bob your head up and down. He was thick and long and made your jaw ache in the best way, utterly infatuated with his scent, with his taste, with the way he let you go at your own pace—but you knew better. You knew that he could easily take that control away from you and fuck your face.

You kind of wished he did, honestly.

With a bit of effort, you pulled away from his cock, breathing heavily. Your voice was shaky but it was firm, determined to get what you wanted. “Fuck my throat,” you demanded, staring up at him through your lashes. He gave you an intrigued smile, clearly pleased with your eagerness to be used like a toy.

“You sure? ‘Cause I’m not stoppin’ til I cum,” he warned. He hardly gave you enough time to reply before he held the base of his cock, gently tapping the tip against your slick lips to get you to open up wide again, obviously unconcerned with your response. “But if you really insist, then who am I to say no to a pretty thing like you?”

He adjusted his stance, towering over you with both his hands atop your head. He allowed you to take a deep breath before pulling you to him just as he shoved his cock back down your throat. You were still unused to him, nearly choking at the sudden movement, feeling tears pool along your lashes. You could’ve sworn his musk was an actual aphrodisiac. It was all you could smell, filling up your nostrils to render your mind a pathetically fuzzy mess.

“Thaaaat’s it,” he drawled out, staring you down with enough heat in his eyes to practically glue you to the floor. You weren’t even sure if you’d get up and leave if he gave you the chance to. Probably not, frankly. Not with the way his strong hands so easily kept you in place, nor with how he strained your jaw—infatuated with every inch and vein and his salty precum. “Take it all, baby.”

He chuckled to himself, not bothering to hide the condescension in his voice. “But I didn’t need to tell you that, huh? Is this muscle memory takin’ over?” Despite his words, his brows were furrowed, focused on thrusting his hips, stoking the rising fire in his abdomen. His rhythmic groans were music to your ears, mixing in with your wet gags and the faint sound of his balls slapping your chin.

“Fuck,” he panted, taking one hand off to wipe your hair off of your forehead and get a look at your watery, unfocused eyes. It sent a heat down his spine that made his cock jolt at the sight of your blissed out face. “You’re so damn tight… gonna make me cum.”

“Is that what you want?” He grunted, digging his fingertips into your skin. “Y’think it’s what you deserve?” For a moment, you were worried he was going to stop. But he didn’t really, instead he kept you still, holding you at a distance to make sure you didn’t accidentally pass out. “I wanna hear you beg for it.”

You blinked your tears away and looked up at him, squinting, confused when he hadn’t let you go yet. It took you a second to piece together what he wanted of you, and felt the burn of embarrassment trickle down your spine and settle into your chest when you did. He wanted you to beg with his cock in your mouth. You were quiet, unsure how to respond without choking and coughing into next week.

“C’mon,” he persisted, his scarred lips lifting in a grin. “I know a little slut like you can do it.”

With a deep breath, you attempted to get your words out through muffled sounds that very vaguely sounded like sentences. It was humiliating—letting him use you to entertain himself like this, but it was an exhilarating feeling that made your cock twitch and throb, aching to be touched.

“Sorry, what was that?” He questioned mockingly, expression laced with faux concern. “Do you mind repeating that?”

You paused, staring up at him pleadingly, but when that didn’t seem to work, you tried again. Drool seeped out the corners of your lips, trailing down your chin. It was hard to breathe and form coherent thoughts. Your cock throbbed and ached to be touched, finding your pants to be uncomfortably suffocating.

“Was that so hard?” He questioned rhetorically as he tugged your face close again, savoring the feeling of your throat squeezing around his dick before beginning to fuck it. He groaned when he felt you run your tongue over the veins, the vibrations of your voice sending heat through his body that he eagerly chased.

He swore under his breath, panting, focused on the tightening coil in his abdomen. “Shit—I’m about to—fuck—cum.”

You moaned when you felt him still, pressing your face into his pelvis to make sure every drop of his cum went down your throat. It was difficult to swallow, letting your eyes flutter shut until he was finished. Your vision was a bit blurry when he finally decided to pull away, leaving you gasping and panting.

“I want—I need you to fuck me,” you slurred, desire flashing brightly in your eyes. Your voice was raw and hoarse and raspy, but there was no hiding your desperation. “Please. I need it so bad it fucking hurts. Please, Fushiguro.”

“I just got done cumming down your throat and you’re already askin’ for more?” He chuckled condescendingly, reaching out to swipe the pad of his thumb along your chin to gather the mix of saliva cum. He brought it to your lips, watching you wrap them around his finger and suck the fluids off his skin. “You needy whore. You’re lucky I’m not in any rush right now.”

With a swift hand, he untied the rope holding your legs together to lead you to a different spot, confident that you wouldn’t make a break for it. Not that you could nor wanted to, anyways.

The mirror before you was dusty and cracked, but it still served its purpose well. He kicked your legs apart and brought you back down to your knees, lowering himself behind you with a firm grip on the back of your neck. You nearly came on the spot when he squeezed your aching cock, hips jerking needily, but he let go in the blink of an eye to unzip your pants and bring them down far enough to expose your ass. He brought two fingers to your lips and dipped them inside your mouth with his other hand, coating them with your saliva rather haphazardly.

He swiftly brought them back down, running them over your balls and perineum teasingly, grinning at your sharp intake of breath. He slid the pads of them over your hole, just barely pushing them through to feel the resistance give way before pulling them back out.

“I swear to god, I’ll—“ you tried to threaten, only to be cut off by a whorish moan that Toji managed to tear from your lips when he shoved his fingers inside you. They pressed against your prostate, firm and unrelenting, rubbing it just the slightest bit to keep you reeling. The sudden stretch fucking burned as you clamped down on him like a vice, wincing and groaning.

“You’ll what?” He urged, eyes fixated on your face, watching every single muscle twitch, noticing the way your cock spurt a fresh stream of precum down the throbbing shaft. “C’mon, don’t get all shy on me now. What were you saying?”

He thrust his fingers in and out slowly, emphasizing the wet squelching sounds of your asshole. You could feel his breaths brushing against your heated skin, sending shivers up and down your spine that ended in your fingertips. Your knees ached and your arms were growing numb from being tied back for so long but you figured you could ignore it for a little while longer if it meant you’d get what you wanted. His dick, namely.

“I’ll—agh, fuck—I’ll…” you trailed off, hardly able to form a coherent sentence with the way he massaged your prostate so perfectly. “Just… just shut up,” you muttered finally, breathless and unfocused as you stared at the spot you connected from the reflection in the old mirror. A subtle feeling of embarrassment settled in your heaving chest when you heard the raspy sound of his chuckle.

“Is that it?” He taunted, locking eyes with you. His free hand slid upwards, teasing your nipples through your shirt to watch you squirm. “I thought you’d put up more of a fight. I’m startin’ to question whether or not you’re really some hotshot Sorcerer.”

It was hard to refute him when you looked the way you did—all messy and disheveled and desperate, hard for the man supposed to kill you. You were completely unlike yourself hardly half an hour ago, but you barely gave a shit. How could you when the hottest man you’ve ever seen was behind you, fingerfucking your eager hole? Chances like these don’t come often to you, that’s for sure.

You shivered and moaned, leaning back against his chest. Your hips practically moved on their own accord, thighs flexing to keep yourself upright as you tried to fuck yourself on his thick digits. Toji could see the way your eyes unfocused and glossed over with understimulated tears, frustrated and horribly pent-up.

He gave your prostate a quick jab, firm enough to intensify the heated coil in your belly, but too fast to savor. He wasn’t planning on giving in to you so easily as he avoided your sensitive spot, instead moving his fingers in a scissoring motion to stretch you out.

“God—stop doing that,” you pleaded. You felt like an open book, unable to stop yourself from furrowing your eyebrows in annoyance or conceal the painstakingly obvious glint of hunger in your pupil-blown irises.

“Quit whinin’ and maybe I’ll consider it,” he murmured gruffly, enraptured by the way you writhed and squirmed and looked just downright pathetic. You both knew he wouldn’t, not when all the others he’s fucked couldn’t hold a candle to your pliant little body. You knew why he was there in the first place, but still, you remained there on your knees even when he untied them.

You nearly let out a sob when he curled his fingers again, offering you the barest of touches to your prostate that sent liquid fire coursing through your veins.

“Fuck, please,” you begged, yet again. You didn’t know much of this you could take or how long it’d be until he caved. God, was it so much to ask for a man to fuck you stupid?!

“I want your cock inside me so bad, fucking me fast ‘n’ hard ‘n’ deep,” you slurred, hardly able to maintain even the barest shred of dignity. You looked into his deep, green eyes through the mirror’s reflection, hoping he’d relent.

“Yeah? Y’want me in this slutty pussy?” He purred, sliding his slick fingers out of your twitching hole to give it a sharp slap. You jolted just as a spurt of precum slid down your hard cock, leaking onto your clothed, heaving abdomen. He chuckled breathlessly as he leisurely rubbed your puffy rim with the pad of a finger. “You should’ve just said so.”

He wiped his fingers off on the back of your shirt, offering you an oblivious shrug when you glared at him through the mirror. Your knees ached when he had you lean forward a little, placing your more of your weight on the poor joints as he reached down to quickly jerk himself off before tapping the tip of his dick on your asshole one, two, three quick times.

It felt like he was splitting you apart when he finally decided to push through after spitting on your hole, groaning at the way you squeezed around him tighter than a damn virgin. It hurt like a bitch. Of course it did—you made him rush and he was using less than ideal lube, but, God, you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t feel so fucking good.

You watched him lean back a little and hold you by the ropes binding your arms together, rolling his hips experimentally, only to grind his cockhead into your prostate so deliciously you saw stars. A searing heat enveloped your body, blinding you with white that took you far too long to come down from. Opening your eyes (you didn’t even realize you closed them), you instantly spotted your twitching cock drooling cum onto the floor. Fuck. He didn’t even start and you came.

“That was so damn fast.” He couldn’t be bothered to stop the hint of a laugh from leaving his throat. With his free hand, he reached down and gave your throbbing dick a squeeze, stroking it with a tight grip to milk out the rest of your cum.

You shuddered and trembled, biting your lip to stifle your moans. He let go to stuff two of his slick fingers in your mouth, careless with how deep he forced them in. Not that you really minded as you swirled your tongue around his skin, readily cleaning it off. You locked eyes, keeping your expression firm in a weak attempt to regain even a sliver of composure when he suddenly moved, giving you a quick, harsh thrust that nearly knocked the air out of your lungs.

He shifted his fingers, curling them as they pulled on your cheek, tugging at the flesh until he forces your mouth wide open. You couldn’t stop your tongue from lolling out, jaw slack as you drooled and whined and cried every time he rammed his thick cock into your eager fuckhole. He was relentless—pounding into you fast and hard and deep, just like you begged for so prettily.

“Fuuuck,” he groaned, digging his fingertips into the flesh of your hip hard enough to leave bruises, arms flexing to yank you back as soon as he pulled out. “Your pussy’s so damn tight,” he panted, brows furrowed in focus, relishing in the sound of his hips slapping your ass and your whorish moans. “M’gonna make sure your messy little cunt remembers my cock by the time I’m finished with you.”

“Uh-huh, mhm,” you nodded, hands itching to grab onto his biceps, his back, something to ground yourself while he churned your insides to mush. It was nigh impossible to think or breathe or speak, but it felt so fucking good.

“Awh, look at yourself,” he cooed, his voice slightly jumpy as he let go of your mouth to roughly pat your cheek, forcing you out of your stupor to make you stare at your reflection. “Are you out of it already? Should I stop?” He questioned, his raspy voice laced with faux concern.

“No! N-No,” you stammered, finding it difficult to comprehend what he was saying until moments later, alerted by the word “stop”. “Don’t stop! Ohh, oh god, please don’t stop!”

You’re so, so sensitive and so full, and you can feel him losing his rhythm. His cock is heavy in your stomach and you swear through your addled brain it’s weighing you down as a trail of precum connects your heated bodies together, frothing between your thighs and his balls.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he grunted, gritting his teeth. He could feel the burning coil in his abdomen intensify with each passing second, and suddenly he’s speeding up, pistoning into you with loud and sloppy thrusts. His green eyes are locked on your swollen and puffy hole sucking him in with a vice grip, watching his cock slide in and out, in and out, over and over again until you’re cumming hard, shaking and convulsing.

“That’s it,” he growls, the sound low and deep. It went straight into your stomach, sparks lighting up under your skin as your hips jerk, unsure whether you want to endure the building overstimulation or move away. “M’gonna cum so deep inside your pretty little pussy I’ll knock you up,” he murmured in your ear, dragging a canine down your neck to clamp his teeth down on the flesh. “Y’want that? To be my breeding bitch?”

You sobbed, unable to answer, but he didn’t need one. Not when your body spoke for you.

He fucked the air out of your lungs one, two, three more times, feeling his balls tighten until he finally came, spilling his cum so deep inside you, you were sure it’d stay there for weeks. You moaned, savoring the warmth that spread through your body with each spurt of his cum that coated your velvety insides, trying to catch your breath before you had to move.

Toji sighed in satisfaction, pulling out after a few moments. He watched your fucked-out hole clench around nothing as it leaked with his seed, spreading one of your asscheeks to get a better view before giving it a final pat.

You didn’t realize he cut the ropes holding your arms behind your back until you nearly fell face-first onto the floor, catching yourself with your numb hands.

“Ow… fuck,” you cursed at the sharp stinging sensation that ran up your arms, shaking them uselessly in an attempt to restore the blood flow faster.

“You were better than I thought you’d be,” he hummed, getting up to fix his clothes. He grabbed his handgun from off the ground, holding it against his shoulder as he stared you down. “But you have three days. Make ‘em count.”

You weren’t oblivious to know that he was giving you a three-day recovery period before he began hunting you again. Even then, you couldn’t stop the shiver of excitement from running through your spine at the prospect of seeing him again.

You grinned, breathless and shaky but confident nonetheless. It was unlikely he’d fuck you once he found you, but a man could dream. "I will."

cross-posted on ao3

[biribaa]

first request ever bcs im so down bad for dw...

is there any way you could do astro x reader hcs / one shot where they sleep in the same bed? eergrhhffhj im so happy i found ur page!!! dw x reader writers are literally non existent,,, :((

Sweet dreams(Astro x reader)

Thats why im here DW fandom💥💥

TW/CW: none ig

Toons werent allowed to sleep until midnight, that was a strict rule that everyone was aware of, and one that the toon handlers took very seriously. Of course toons were innocent bqck in that time, but god knows what clumsiness they could commit.

Another strict rule, which annoyed you even more, was that Toons couldn't sleep together. To prevent mess as well.

The current situation in Garderview was bothering. No, no... "Bothering" is a weak word for all this. It is hell. To be take away from a comforting life in seconds leaved everyone, including you, too shocked to even process anything. Now you had to run and pray to find some machine that could save your life.

But deep down you had to admit the good parts of it, not that you would ever say "thank you" to Dandy. The stricts rules are gone, toon handlers as well... It leaded you to a idea.

Today, both you and Astro were just exploring the floors, in search of anything that was left untouched by twisteds, or even Dandy himself. With Astro, hide from twisteds wasn't that hard as you thought it would be, he always hided you behind him, warning with whispers about any nearer twisted. Even in danger, he was so careful.

"... I think my bedroom should be around here." Astro commented, unsure of his own words as his eyes searching around the area.

"Your bedroom?" You answer, in which Astro hums back as a affirmative.

Puzzled, Astro frowned during his search. Pieces of his remarkable memories coming back together. The wallpaper was familar, the floor as well, and as his eye followed these details, he came face to face to a door.

With little hesitation, the moon reached for the knob, and the moment a grasp was open, he reached his head to glance inside. A weird nostalgia coming to him.

When Astro opened the door completly, you could see what remained of his bedroom. Just from being behind him, you could see much of it remained the same, but the rest that wasn't untouched, was left in the ground, like small objects.

Astro paced to the inside, reaching for the switch. The lights flickered for a moment, but with a little patient, it standed still.

"Geez." He mumbled.

You walked to his side, a part of you worried about his reaction. "Well... It looks liveable."

Glacing to the side, you were caught by surprise when noticing Astro had a soft smile in his face.

"It does."

Relieve hit you. Your eyes followed Astro as he almost immediatly walked towards his bed. A chuckle coming from you, but deep down you couldn't really blame him for it.

His back hit the rounded bed, you could taste his satisfaction just from his expression, closed eyes and a small smile... This reaction was rare coming from him in those times, seeing all the struggles he and many others face.

You snapped back to reality, noticing Astro shyly reaching a arm from his coat, to your direction. It took you a few seconds to realize he was actually... Asking you to approach. Calm moments like those with Astro was rare nowadays, and even more back then. Even flurstered, you couldn't refuse the invitation.

With delicacy, you pace towards him, laying you body just by Astros side. For a second, your spine shiver, you forgot how cold Astros skin was, but you leaned to it quickly, resting your head by his chest and placing your hand over him.

Without both of you realizing, the doors was already locked, the blanket was covering you and Astro, and his second pair of arms were already revelead to wrap around your waist, bringing you closer to his cold skin. All you could do is rest over him.

Taking a quick peak from one of your eyes, you glance at Astros face. Eye closed, a soft smile set... its been a while since you saw him like this, specially with the current situation. Satisfied, you close your eyes, allowing yourself to finally rest in his grasp for once.

[thoughtsforsoob]

you’re frustrated because you’re struggling to learn Korean - txt

a/n: hello! I thought this post would be a little relatable bc I’m struggling rn with Japanese (but not bc of a man 😋). So much kanji to remember and so many words that they just all mush together. I love the language but it is testing my patience and my memory rn :( please enjoy this and lemme know if y’all speak other languages :) it’s cool to know im not the only one struggling with a trilingual brain🥰 requests are open as usual (no pics belong to me! Found on Pinterest)

yeonjun

It was actually his idea to teach you Korean, starting with basic stuff such as phrases at the convenience store and at coffee shops. He knew it would help when you had to go out places on your own. You’re on the phone with him after he’s hyped you up and refreshed some phrases for ordering coffee. You finally are up to order and while your pronunciation has been good, you mispronounce a word and your face goes red. You apologize to the cashier who was very understanding and helped you say the word correctly. You paid and thanked them for their kindness. Yeonjun heart could burst at how the cashier was patient with you and how you tried your best and finally said the word right. “Oh my goodness! You did amazing! Next time you’re ordering coffee for the both of us.”

soobin

As the days went by, he could see your passion for learning his language was dwindling. You were struggling with your conjugation skills and he was just trying his best to help you learn and eventually practice. You both are sitting at the kitchen table, with your textbook in front of you (giving flashbacks to elementary math homework). He’s giving you example of conjugations your currently learning and how to used them. It’s starts to all mush up and you can’t figure it out or focus. You start to cry into your hands. He pulls you close to him, “don’t be sad. I promise that you’re gonna learn really soon. I believe in you.” That’s all it took for you to keep trying. He also promised he’d take you for a melona pop if you tried a few more conjugations (I love melona I’m so sorry 🤤…melon and banana are the best flavors not sorry)

beomgyu

homie is so serious and you get mad at him because of that. he’s teaching you silly phrases and on one occasion, he purposely teaches you the wrong phrase. So, you’re out at lunch with his members and you try the phrase on yeonjun and he looks so confused. “Did you just call me dumb?” Your face is furiously red and you run off, crying. Your frustration sets in. Why would be do this to me? He comes after you after giving you some time to cool down. “Baby? I’m so sorry. I didn’t think that would make you so upset. I promise I won’t do it anymore. We’re gonna get serious I swear.” He lures you out by telling you he’s gonna start teaching you from a really good Tex ok that was recommended to him. He also explains to yeonjun what happened and yeonjun gives him an earful as well, taking you side.

taehyun

he actually is a really good person to help teach you. He has the patience of a saint when teaching you grammar. If you’ve attempted Korean, you know how challenging grammar can be to understand. Let’s say you’re out at a restaurant and try to order your own food..you make a mistake and the waiter is looking at you like huh? You start to feel embarrassed but taehyun explains you’re still learning and has you try it again. When you get it right this time, he smiled and the waited smiled as well. The pride he feels when he can see your improvement is like no other. “You did such a good job, honey. Tell you what, how about we get some ice cream after? You deserve a little treat.”

huening kai

I feel like he’d be very empathetic and understanding towards your struggle. He speaks many languages too and understands how frustrating when something isn’t sticking or when you forget words or grammar. For example, you’re at home and you’re both working on vocabulary. you messed up a few words in a row and start to feel discouraged. His best tool to keep you motivated to learn was tell you he was proud of you. He would always encourage you the best he could, “you’re for this bub! I’m so proud of you! I’m gonna keep helping you until you’ve got this :)”

[kentuckyfriedmegumi]

fanfic writer interview

thank you @uriekukistan for tagging me!

no pressure tags @yearnwormwrites @hijinks-n-lowjinks @fluffy-bacon363 and @philosophiums <33

How many works do you have on AO3?

i have 14 works; 13 are for jjk and 1 is just a writing exercise thing i wrote

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Itadori Yuji's Totally Foolproof Plan to get Fushiguro Megumi to Fall In Love with Him

Closing the Distance

is it gay if our pinkies are intertwined?

Too Soon?

I Have to Protect You

all of them are jjk itafushi works!! yuji's plan is my first fanfic piece i've ever written!

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes!!! i try my best to but lskdjflsd sometimes it gets ahead of me or life gets all wonky. i really do try tho, and most of the time i'm pretty responsive <3

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

oh for sure it has to be To See You Again. it's an alternate ending to What I'd Give, and i've had ppl argue that that one is sadder, but i feel like (without getting into spoilers) the lack of resolution leaves this one feeling a bit more bleak. i felt bad writing it.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

probably yuji's plan, even tho it's an ongoing series. it's only "ongoing" bc of a series of spin-off one-shots that follow the ending, but they are all pretty happy. the series overall has very light angst too, but if not yuji's plan, then perhaps Closing the Distance.

Do you write crossovers?

naur but i have considered writing characters in other universes. idk tho, seems intimidating.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not hate in the traditional sense where someone is actively disliking my story or writing, but i do regularly get jumped by my readers for my angsty stuff. i wouldn't call it hate tho.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

naur and i probably never will, but i do have little FLIES IN MY EARS that want me to.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

last i checked, naur. but im keeping an eye out bc im willing to throw hands over it ksfdjsdl

Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but i've had someone ask me if i ever will. i can't do the translating, but it would be cool if one of mine were.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

YES OMFG!!!! @sunnyyflowerrs and i wrote pinkies together and it was SOOO MUCH FUN!!!! it's crazy like how well our writing styles meshed together, and i really liked working with her. i'm her number 1 fan fr so like this was just a dream to me. i loveee it and it's my third most liked fic!!!! i'd lovee to work with her again, and there are also some other writers that i hope to work with!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

itafushi literally sucked me into the ao3 rabbit hole like nobody's business. i never read fan fiction ever in my life before june, and then next thing i know i'm writing a multi-chapter fic in august. now i have 13 itfs works and kfm socials on like. every app. crazy how that works.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i don't know if there's one that i don't think i'll ever finish. i hope to try and finish all of my works eventually, i guess the *only* thing that i could really think to put here is just that the yuji's plan one shots are going to keep going til i run out of ideas.

What are your writing strengths?

the kfm trio: angst, miscommunication, and tension. i feel like i really do well with tension, but i've been told that when my angst hits, it hits. also currently have my readers tweaking out in CTD with the miscomm, so we got the holy trinity.

What are your writing weaknesses?

my prose and descriptors are a work in progress. i feel like it can come out sounding clunky and it's really hard to get the flow right. that's what i'm struggling with in skinny dipping, an unpublished wip of mine. the more i work on it, tho, the better it gets.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

oh goodness, i would be soooo bad at it i fear. the only other language that i know is american sign language ahahaha, so the best that i could do is accurately capture inumaki signing in ASL kajsdfldsk the closest i get is using when i use -chan or -sensei in dialogue, but i don't use it anywhere else.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

OH MY GOD I SWEAR I WILL WRITE A SHIGUANG FIC FOR LINK CLICK OMFGGG THE POTENTIAL THERE IS CRAZYYYYY I NEEDDDD TO WRITE IT however, i must pace myself and finish skinny dipping first, and also probably closing the distance before i even try to start writing a new fic, much less for a new fandom. oh also kagehina is slowly creeping up on me the more i watch haikyuu... i can feeeeel it

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

currently, it's actually Hot Off the Press teehee. it's a fun, low-pressure fic that i can self-indulge in and use my degree for! it's been a ton of fun writing and i really like being able to pull stuff that i learned for this story. also it's just a fun story to write teehee

[lunadreamscaper]

im gonna rant aboit something that annoys me sometimes when interacting with the venturiantale fandom. old and new 😭 no hate just an observation that i have made a... surprisingly amount of times?

if you find long rants about venturiantale then keep scrolling this is mostly for me to help process my thoughts so if youre gonna be mean keep it to yourself 🫵

its the people who will show up out of no where who insists that Johnny Ghost is (or should be) incapable of making friends and liking people outside of Johnny Toast. 😭

like yes its hard for Ghost to get along with people in source...? but... idk why people insists this, like he isnt allowed to grow or change? like do you know how good of a fanfic plot itd be if Ghost learns to like accept and like other people? either way if he doesnt, he's gonna be a boring character if he's incapable of like... any change lmfao?

my main example comes from times ive talked about like, maybe a cool concept where Ghost becomes the Doctor's companion (doctor who) or like takes Hunter from the owl house under his wing and makes him a trainee (i love crossovers as you can probably tell) and 9 times out of 10, every time ive publically talked aboit those ideas theres always this dang GUY who rushes in out of no where all high and mighty and goes "actually they would hate each other lol :)"

EVERY GOTDANG TIME!! LEAVE ME ALLOOOONE LFMAO 😭😭😭😭😭😭 LET ME HAVE THIS

Like yes its very likely for Ghost to not get along with some characters. but also, this is MY idea, and i wanna talk about how what would happen if it went WELL. instead of your boring version full of hate/j/j/lh

plus ik everyone has their own interpretations of those characters and thats fine. i just hate it when people specifically go "actually ur fun cool idea that you like i dont think would work at all" just kinda... sucks? also ruins a conversation imo???

it also reminds how people reacted when i started shipping Ghost x Josh back in the day. saying it couldnt work bc they started out not liking each other, even tho over time the two ended up being cordial towards each other. not best of friends but they didnt mind each others company?? the whole shit about the ship isnt my focus my focus is thay so many people think that characters (VenturianTale Johnny Ghost in this case) like cant fucking change or grow. 😭 also the ship dynamic is nothing like it but people actin like enemies to lovers isnt a super popular concept. sorry off topic there.

Though in the end i shouldnt be surprised, bc of how Jordan fuck ass Frye depicted Johnny Ghost and all his characters in general. Jordan Frye himself, didnt ever change as a person. (if he did he just became a worse person lol) so why would his characters?

REGARDLESS of Jorkin Frye, that doesnt mean we should let his inability to understand what character development is you and other people and how they write and depict the character.

also ig in the end you dont hafta like or agree with peoples ideas or headcanons. just dont be annoying lol/lh

tbf when people present a headcanon that clashes with your own, it can be hard to keep your opinion or own headcanon to yourself. i think the current state of this fandom struggles to co-exist with headcanon differences which us fair but also sometimes you just gotta let people talk their shit withoit like putting them down or else the convo ends short or it sucks 😭 i struggle to find balance too dw and im guilty of this.

[heartmatic]

core of andre and rovers relationship........... v important to me (LONG rambling under cut! ig sorta explanation of their initial beginning relationship)

hi. whats the core of them. what actually brings them together.. take a while guess from my millions of post abt it

asian-american immigrant* trauma 😁 its not ever so defining for them as a couple, esp andre (i think hes generally moved** past it, as much as you can when youre main coping mechanism is That). Anyway, i think its what originally brings them together

*quick note. sterotypical asian-american immigrant life. you probably know. the whole: parents moved here for a better life for You, high expectations and wants for you to grow up and be successful. if you dont its like youre personally failing them for all theve done. youve seen jokes abt it all, yada yada. its not how everyone whos an asian immigrant is, its a sterotype after all. but its still how a lot of them do...... me included, i hc andre to aswell based on the info from the show. its canon in my heart. religion also plays a part but we'll get to that maybe ("i was raised by hardcore christians", kinda wanting to be a screenwriter- moreso that whole scene and him panicking abt what hes become. failing out of med school, you get the idea. ive talked abt that sooooooooooo much...)

Rover is a clone in canon.. i did this for a multitude of reasons but rlly quickly you can kinda imagine its for that whole- feeling like a diff person bc of the highhhh specific expectation life that is forced upon you. its a biggg part of his character. he still struggles with the whole "living your life for other people" bit

true androver fans know abt their initial reactions towards eachother. Rovers kinda uptight mean manager when he meets everyone (reagan 2.0 ig?), andre dislikes him for this. Andre is. Andre. rover at first is always work-oriented so hes kinda pissy that andre feels like some slacker who doesnt deserve his job. > just realized this is kinda a timeline of their relationship too..... at least the start, not everything is set in stone tho but this is what i generally think of for this era.

eventually... idk.. at some cognito (chirstmas?) party... atp brett is still trying to get rover to open up to everyone (theyre buds* already). he eventually convinces him to come under the guise that Rand is gonna be there, since Rover is wanted to drop of transfer papers to a new management job (hes Done!!! with the gangs messiness). Brett. Didnt Not lie, he could never do that butttt welllll rands not there, omission of the fact. rovers kinda Wth, but its all part of bretts master friendship plan. cause now Rovers here, its a party, why not get a drink n all? he gets too many drinks. kinda just sits down at a wall in some darkish not populated area to chill out. Andre, well doesnt care much abt what everyones doing buttt hes a party-er n all, he practices normal morals lmao so sees rover kinda fucked up and goes to check up on him. WAIT pull out the fake wiki didnt i write this there

ok sure. less info but quick summary! idk if im keeping the whole friends with benefits thing but it can paint a better picture of their dynamic. full wiki if youre curious, not fully up to date and weird writing but hurray rover character! anyway. andre goes up to check on him. theyre kinda annoyed at seeing andre but whatever theyre too idc. in fact rovers a very curious "needs to know everything" person, so in his drunk mind goes and asks andre a bunch of personal stupid question "how do you do it? be so stupidkly carefree and idiotic" ok. chill. yada yada they actually have a heart to heart..... i mean andres kinda high or whatever too but its a weird pivot for them. andres not totalllyy asnwering his questions, still enough to have a connection, but hes more concenvered abt rovers current physical being so just makes sure hes ok first. Maybe brings him somewhere else like to his lab n whatnot, not 100% sure

Those first impressions? Andre realizes well first- he's right, rover is stuck up; but he's also wrong and understands more so Why hes like that... it intrigues him. (like how he tried to get glenn to do mushrooms LOL, its a similar vain of hmmmm you were like me. let me try something for that) Rover also realizes (a little before cognito christmas too) that andre Isnt dumb.. or some full slacker.. he respects that he actually knows his job, and gets Rlly Rlly interested in him in general. esp after learning he had a similar childhood- that first question he asked was genuine. "how do you do it....?"

ok. idk where im goign with this LMAO IM SORRY core of how they got more interested in eachother..... its a whole thing. the biggest effect is that Understanding tho... that yea. i lived that life... no one else takes it rlly srsly- or no one else cares- or no one else WHATEVER. but they do with eachother yk.. Andre kinda helps rover deal with his whole . thing. Rover hates it all, he still struggles with it so internally but through andre and kinda everyone else he learns to eventually get past it. Rover helps Andre deal lesser so with this all, like i said hes Kinda over it; but he offers to andre to be that person to actually take him seriously.. to actually listen to whatever the fuck he has to say and see him past as jsut some druggie.... someone who sticks by him no matter what (hes loyal to a fault lol)

anyway. whatever. theyre not even perfect bc after party b4 theyre srs they have this whole attachment problem arc LMAO rover helps him out with all that too... hashtag uhhh mutual helpings. that transfer form to move departments n whatnot does come back btw.... he files it after their fucked up talk

ok. sorry i wrote that all so bad but i hope you got the idea. important context of their whole dynamic and relationship? now you get pieces like this lol I HATE ANDROVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[eliteseven]

I feel u on struggling to find time to write. Currently in the cycle of coming home exhausted from work but spending the time chilling and doing other stuff instead of writing, and then regretting it as I sit in work the next day frustrated lol. Plus theres other projects i need to work on like a dnd one shot and an old dragon age fanfic(which im not even sure i wanna finish since my wardens home has been nuked in the new game :/) And Arcane! My friends also recommend it highly but im certain it’ll consume my life as soon as i watch it lol. Feels like dozens of other shiny things that want attention. Theres just not enough hours in the day! Wishing u the best of luck, and a few spare hours to get ur fix in

Yesss exactly! 🫠 so many projects, so little time. I actually dread getting into new series/games bc I know I’ll love them but also I need to be working on the projects I already have!

(I’m so sorry for your Warden lol. That game nuked…like everything to be fair.)

I also hate being late to shows/games (happened already with BG3 lol) because I feel like I have to play catch up and I kinda missed the fandom momentum. And I’m so late to Arcane 🥲 so tbh that helps me put off watching it bc I feel like I wouldn’t have much to contribute fandom-wise.

Writing makes me so happy 😭 it entertains me for hours and I feel proud of my work afterwards. I have some ideas that I’m itching to share. I wish I could illustrate! I wouldn’t hesitate to do an original graphic novel or comic or something to that effect. I hateeeeee my job, I want to weasel my way out of this and into writing fictional works, somehow. Is it possible? Idk but let a girl dream 💀 keeps me going lol

I hope you find some spare time, too! 😊 I’d be really excited to see what you will write, either for DA or DND, if you wanted to share!!

[aldritch-ao3]

Omg I love reading your analysis, I love reading about parallels, I'm literally like that one meme of character with a conspiracy board

The fact that you develop so many of the characters that by most fans are discarded as simply "bad guy who's bad and nothing more" is so interesting. The Zen'in clan, Kenjaku, are such interesting characters that don't get explored in fanworks because people either don't care about it or are uncomfortable with the truth that, yeah, no matter how bad those are still people.

Are you also planning to develop Tengen more? I think she's interesting because most people either ignore her or demonise her, so your work's been a nice exception. Honestly I'm ready to eat any crumbs of content for the immortal sorcers.

And also Jian. He's so interesting because he's currently trying to be better but we can still see that he's a curse. I can't wait to see more of his past with Kenjaku and Tengen, they occupy a permanent place in my brain now

THANK YOU ive got a big soft spot for characters who are either underdeveloped background characters or one-facet characters ... i like getting to analyze them. flesh them out a little. i think ive said before that if i wrote something else for jjk unrelated to playback, itd be centered on Just Some Guy like aratta nitta. im your average jjk fan who goes crazy at a character's 3 total lines of dialogue

i definitely want to explore tengen more! in fact, that'll be pretty soon, i think (at least in terms of where im at writing-wise, since im working on chapter 39 right now)? the dynamic of the immortals is super fun to me, and ive got a big soft spot for all three of them as very flawed people with very human flaws. i think tengen is probably the most understandable of the three, in a way. like, yeah, i too would withdraw and become kind of apathetic to individual struggles after a lifetime where individuals' lives are so much shorter than my own. people can demonize her all they want but at the end of the day she too was a human and no one is meant to live that long. im excited to get to write more of tengen and jian, since at their earliest incarnation he didnt really Know anything. and god, i didnt get to toy with that from tengen's perspective, but imagine how thatd feel. one of the only other two beings as old as you are, one whos been there your entire life - sure, he tends to choose your sister over you sometimes, but he's always been there anyways. he loves you. and now he has no idea who you are anymore. the centuries youve known each other are Gone. just bc it doesnt show much from jian's perspective doesnt mean tengen is an unaffection emotionless husk about it.

its fun i like them a lot. tengen is a complicated character, but playback is very much a story about feelings and human connection and i think they deserve the chance to get explored in that light too

[kokirane]

Can I ask your top favorite fics that you've written (feel free how much that you want to list)? Why they're special to you? Is there a specific inspiration when you wrote them? Thanks 🌻

Aaahh haha oh my god recency bias is going to get me, because the longer you write the more your work evolves and the “worse” it feels looking back at older ones… and I have a poor memory… but truly the important thing is that I had fun and wrote what I wanted to write and made many friends and did fun events all along the way! so that helps even if im like “oh nooo what was i doing xyz years ago…” and I can mostly remember which fics feel special… will do my best…

Not in any particular quality order, but just starting with the most recent:

1. damned if i say i do, damned if i don’t - (bllk) biggest labor of love thus far, full of my favorite tropes with my current favorite ship LOL, i love nagireo so very dearly, and the reception to it has been so incredible… tears in my eyes… inspirationnnn was that my friends and i were just tossing ideas around and then this came out of it! and i made a playlist for it which helped with further inspo hehe but talking w friends is definitely the most fun way to brainstorm!

2. heart-trapping championship: (bllk) prior to damned if i say i do this was probably my biggest labor of love LOL, dual pov trying to balance angst humor and fluff! and yearning! it was very fun and im very happy about it still <3

3. can i call you (mine)?

4. as long as you’re next to me (just the two of us)

5. you could be my anything

^ 3-5 were all for matchablossom from sk8, the first two were pretty long - i usually dont write long fics so whenever i do they feel p special hahaha - and i know those fics were p important to me at the time, i put a lot of effort in and i rlly liked the concepts :) third one… i just rlly wanted to write fwb matchablossom LOOOL i remember being extra excited to write that one :)

6. drive slow (i don’t want to go home)

7. no place like you

6 & 7 are for sangcheng from mdzs :) sangcheng/mdzs will always be the most special fandom in my heart, i chose these 2 bc they were both for events i had a lot of fun with! however since it has been so long i am reluctant to go back and reread my older writing… 🥲 same with sk8/matchablossom fics oops. but i know i loved and cared for all my fics whenever i wrote them and i always will!

8. black sun: ahhhh lol i wrote this forever ago for magi labyrinth of magic. i remember the way it ended was v important for me and i think it was mainly lil vignettes of yearning hahaha. but i think it took a lot of effort and i was very proud of it!

There are several honorary contenders where I wrote what I wanted to write and had fun doing so and feel pretty satisfied with the results, but that might take too long HAHA as you can tell i struggle with rankings… all my fics are my special yet troublesome gremlin children all in their own way 😂 thank you for asking about them! :)

ah i forgot to say i think the themes for inspo usually are 1) “i really want to write this bc it has tropes i like/i want to see the ship in these scenarios” (either for myself or a friend) 2) music!!!! i love music sm it rlly helps me write 3) canon moments that i want to see more of, or build on! 4) brainrotting with friends!!! i love writing for my friends sm

[iraprince]

Heyo! Any advice on struggling to get your art seen in the world? I feel like no matter how much I post, or what I post, people never see it or seem to like it. I love art and am pursuing it as a career (hence why Im getting a degree in it currently lmao) but its kind of disheartening to work really hard on something, post it, and no one sees it.

oh, man. i'm afraid for this one i don't feel like i have a lot of solid advice. having a large-ish following online feels like something that kind of just, like, Happened to me, mostly on accident/in ways outside of my control, and even if i had some ideas on how to potentially replicate those gains i don't think they'd work consistently. (also, a lot of my large jumps in follower count came from mental health related work going viral bc it's #relatable; this is something i have complicated feelings about and it's absolutely not a viable, like, "strategy" or something that i would recommend, in the way that ppl can say like, "fanart gets attention!" or stuff like that.)

so, i don't have advice for how to actually GET those eyes on your art; i can maybe help with making ppl more likely to STAY once they do find you, and how to build a following that will actually help you maintain a living from your work -- bc i have TONS of peers w a following a fraction of the size of mine who get more jobs than me, are doing cooler/more "professional" stuff than me, etc! (heads up that most of my experience is on twitter; i know less than nothing about places like instagram + tiktok, and while tumblr functions very differently from twitter i feel like i handle things mostly the same here, aside from doing less personal posting/being less talkative and not 'networking' or following many people).

SCROLLING BACK UP TO ADD A SPOILER ALERT: AS ALWAYS I HAVE SAID "HAHA IDK I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANY ADVICE" AND THEN PROCEEDED TO TYPE A FULL ESSAY. IF YOU ARE ON DESKTOP YOU CAN HIT THE 'J' KEY TO SKIP THIS POST. IF YOU'RE ON MOBILE, I'M SORRY

a very important thing, especially professionally: it HAS to be easy to see what you do. (this is easier here on tumblr, where u can have a designated art tag etc, than on twitter, which is an awful website that sucks. <- guy who makes all his money on twitter) this means, like -- if i see something from you and get curious and click your profile, it should only take one more click to quickly see at least SOME of your art. on a professional account, it's probably best for your icon to be your own work, something snappy and memorable and eye-catching that reads well at a small size; people shouldn't have to dig for 20 minutes before they can start browsing your art. on twitter, this means TRY not to gunk up your media tab with a ton of reaction images/screencaps of your gacha pulls/etc; on here, it means make your art tag easy to find; on any website, a portfolio link, prominently displayed, is the best bet. (i am still working on that one myself lmao and i've been working professionally full time for a few years now so like, there are outliers and wiggle room on all of this).

next! it's great when your audience finds you, but you have to find them, too. find artists who do similar stuff to you and get into their stuff -- sincerely, not just as "networking." (like only do this with ppl whose stuff you actually think is cool, not just trying to get in mutuals with everyone you see in hopes of a bump, obviously.) get interested in other indie artists, find the people who are working/publishing in the spaces that are exciting and aspirational for you, and support them! i don't want it to sound cynical when i say there's a kind of give-and-take built into this; the point is not "well, if i reblog/retweet a bunch of YOUR stuff, maybe you'll feel obligated to boost mine in return," but that when you find other artists/creatives who are on the same wavelength as you, you will naturally stumble into pools of people who want to support art like yours, and you and your newfound peers will help each other when you hype each other's stuff up and direct followers to each other! (again re: things going differently on dif websites: this is twitter-specific for me, bc i use my tumblr as a gallery/portfolio. that doesn't mean it doesn't happen here tho! it can and does happen everywhere!)

it is really not a competition. i know that SOMETIMES it is in like, a really nitty-gritty numbers sense; people only have so much money to spare, they will make choices about whose patreon they can afford/what comic to buy/etc, that's true. but to me that's not competition. people who are sincerely into your stuff will hang on until they can afford it; maybe that means someone follows you for two whole years before the planets align and they have the budget/opportunity to commission you. by hanging out in similar circles you are not taking potential business or opportunities away from anyone else, nor are you risking leading your own audience to Someone They'll Like Better; you're just offering more options, and the internet is VAST and endless, and EVENTUALLY people will show up who are into YOUR STUFF, SPECIFICALLY. helping each other is never going to stifle or delay that!!

and my final chunk of advice is the one i give constantly that everyone is probably super sick of hearing but i just seriously seriously believe in it, even tho i know it's slow to pay off and hard to follow: keep doing exactly what you want to. keep doing it!!! you have to!!! yes, i mean the stuff that's getting like, 2 likes and 0 reblogs! the stuff that 'nobody likes!'

earlier i mentioned i have gotten big follower bumps from like adhd comics and stuff like that going viral. the thing is that, from a professional standpoint: my follower count has like, more than quintupled from where it was at a few years ago; my patreon income has absolutely NOT quintupled lmfao. it has less than doubled, over that same period of like... i wanna say over 4 years. that's still good, i'm grateful for it, and i owe a lot of it to the sheer numbers game (the more ppl see ur work, the more likely it is you'll reach someone who decides to support you), but there is absolutely not an actual direct correlation between numbers and career success/stability.

where there IS a direct correlation is between "people who give a shit about the art i really truly love making" and "people who like my art enough to support me professionally." HUGE chunks of the followers i get any time something goes viral slough off over time; there's nothing wrong with that, they just follow me bc something was funny/interesting and end up realizing my work's not actually their thing. but the ppl who follow me bc they're into all the stuff i post most consistently, the stuff i care about and am passionate about, stick around. and i would not have found them if i wasn't posting the shit i care about!

out there there are people who will be 100% crazy about the stuff that is 100% what you want to make. it's like actually statistically impossible for there not to be. the more niche your thing is, the longer it will take to find them, but they absolutely exist. but if you give up before you find them -- if you start saying, "well, i'll put in 50% of this idea that i love, but the other 50% is too weird and nobody's gonna like it and it'll flop" -- well, in that case, you can only ever find the ppl who are 50% into what you do. don't fuck yourself like that!! you cannot deny yourself the possibility (the INEVITABILITY!!! IMO!!!!!) of finding the people who will 100% get what you're doing.

so: on a pragmatic level, i'm sure there will be ppl who disagree with me on this, and who think it's absolutely mandatory to do fanart as a crowd draw or learn about algorithms and posting times and get on tiktok and do the visibility grind and everything and that it's stupid and irresponsible to tell people not to. i'm sure it's also easy to point out that i'm speaking from a place where i now have more eyes on my stuff than i know what to fucking do with so maybe i'm just totally out of touch and being naive or something. but for me the most important part of doing art now, ESPECIALLY as a career, is to keep loving it and to believe in what i'm doing and to build an audience that cares about the same things i do. and i think it is really really vital to make that your top priority. bc if you don't, then even if you DO crack the code to suddenly getting tons of notes on everything etc -- will you even keep wanting to do it?

this job is hard. it's lonely, in my experience; i spend so much time sitting in front of my computer alone. it's unstable, which is stressful and can be frightening. it's emotionally taxing, for me, because art is so important to me that it's hard to set boundaries and separate my identity from it and actually treat it like a job. it has taken me a long time to find success doing this; maybe i could have gotten there faster if i had tried to find ways to draw an audience specifically, but i think if i had somehow managed to get a big patreon following/tons of commissioners/etc by doing something formulaic or doing stuff that specifically gets tons of attention, but isn't what's natural for me -- i don't think i would have lasted very long that way. this is already hard and complicated enough; i don't think it's sustainable to give up any unnecessary ground on doing exactly what you're passionate about, bc at least in my case, that's mandatory for this even being a livable career for me. i would burn out and decide to do something else very quickly if the only way to succeed was to chase numbers/engagement.

doing it this way is very slow. if i hadn't been able to lean on family/my wife while starting up, i would have had to have a day job for much longer (like, years, probably) while saving up and preparing to go full time; for as long as you struggle to get traction, it may mean going full time has to be on the backburner. but the thing is that there's nothing wrong with that, it's the reality for the vast majority of us (from what i've seen) -- and you'll eventually build a career that can last way longer, i think.

okay oh my god i'm done. sorry about that. like i said this job is pretty lonely and i sit here all day and think about this stuff and then generally do not talk about it with anyone until somebody asks me about it and then i repeat myself at length again. like i did here. anyway have a good night sincerely and i hope some part of this was helpful!!!

[knightzp]

3, 8, 11 and 21 for the writer ask game!!

3. name a fanfic/story you are particularly proud of writing

im proud of a few of my fics for different reasons but to name just a couple of them it would be:

the forgotten lyre: im proud of it bc of several reasons: its my second longest fic to date and i thought very carefully how to adapt the majority of the large enstars cast into this au so it has quite the worldbuilding. its by far the fic with the most number of characters (both main and secondary characters) i ever wrote in a single work. its also a fic i wrote for a fandom event and i was a bit unsure if i was going to be able to finish it on time with how long it was gonna be but i did it and i think it turned out quite well! and the whole process of writing it was so fun working with my bigbang team so yeah. this fic is very special to me and im particularly fond of it <3

every season is full of memories of you with me: im also very proud of this rtmo fic! the idea for this fic came so suddenly to me and it was so fun and surprisingly easy to write. i like this fic sososo much bc i wrote the characters as true as i see them myself and the fic also got such a positive reaction that it made me really happy and extra proud of it!

8.  how many wips do you currently have?

actual wips that i already started writing? only 2 rn. rough ideas i have for fics i do want to write in the near future? likeeee 8 :3

11. what’s something you have learned as a writer?

that i write for me and myself first and foremost. i do it to have fun and i shouldnt pay too much attention to the statistics bc the reception a fic gets depends so much on factors that have nothing to do with whether the writing is good or bad (like one example is the type of fandom. a bigger fandom means bigger audience and therefore usually a better response, and viceversa)

21. what’s your favorite writing advice to share?

ive never shared writing advice but ajksdfsk well if theres is something i can say is that if youre struggling with writing some specific part you can just skip it and come back to it later. this goes from transitioning between different actions or scenes or even whole chapters. you dont have to write everything linearly, if youre feeling specially inspired to write something ahead of where you are then just go and do it. ive learned myself its much better to jump and write what you really want to in the moment than wait, become stuck in a point and then lose inspiration and not knowing how to go on later

ask game!

[samuelroukin]

not to drool on it too much again but i like knowing that ur doing your current best. makes me proud of u 🥺

having been here for a little while means I've seen your comfort zone expanding and I've seen you try new things and I've seen you struggle with many things that aren't really that hard for you now, and I can only wait for the days the issues ur currently facing will also be a thing of the past yk. you're growing. that's pretty cool I think

and maybe you'd like to appear effortless and perfect to us citizens of the screen, but that's a silly thing to want. seeing you try and mess up and succeed and improve and change over time is a big part of the fun of being a regular here. and I'm pretty sure that's what inspires the people around you to write more, too (because it does, a lot. your anons and your friends and your readers, people write a lot more when they're near you. in case you haven't noticed)

and the energy you put into things shines through very brightly. it's much more than "appreciating the attempt", you have no idea how wonderful it is when we can feel your dedication and passion through the text. even if things aren't up to your standards, nothing you write is lackluster. there's a lot of luster, in fact. because you like writing it!!! and it's so magical to read something so infused with love (or obsession, or whatever you wanna call it. I'm picking love)

im not really making a point either, just trying to add my perspective to the thing you said

tldr you'll get better and better if you keep at it and we'll be here until then to keep telling you that you've always been good enough

don't say thattttt got me tearing up here damn....but thank you, it's a very very kind perspective and i refuse to argue bc that's rude and it means a lot so i'm just gonna tuck all that safely away and have a little peek once in a while

[hideyourautumn-milkteeth]

i have gotten my sleep :D also you got me there ... im just a simple gay who loves having a pleasant conversation with a pretty boy :3

hell yeah writers unite!! a horror film huh? i'll admit i ... have a pretty low horror tolerance ahaha. i get scared pretty easily so i dont really engage with horror media for my own good. i really wish i had more tolerance tho bc horror is so fascinating. but yeah tell me about your ideas still!!! (if i HAD to pick a horror media i like, i guess it’d be needy streamer overload. it's a psychological horror game where you help this mentally unstable girl become a successful streamer)

yeah, a good friend group can really help you get out there. also damn you got a good find! hope you have fun with filming, it sounds exciting :] i thrifted a pretty sick jacket yesterday for around $7 (im not a dollar user so this is me just converting currencies lol). too bad you cant see it for now teehee

ooooo ive only played a bit of portal 1 and played one pokemon game (it was pokemon sword lmao). im currently playing the legend of zelda: tears of the kingdom, reverse: 1999, noctilucent: before dawn, and papa's freezeria deluxe LMAO i play house flipper and slay the spire on the side though. i have more untouched games in my backlog too (i really wanna play dragon age inquisition at some point). so many games, so little time ...

- 🫀

NAAUUUR 😭😭😭 SAAAD that’s SUCH a common response tbh (to the horror thing) :,) i get it tho. There is plenty of good horror that isn’t necessarily very scary tho lmao. My favorite era of horror is the 80s, and there’s plenty of fun wacky flicks from that era that arent very high up on the scary scale.

Also fuck yeah I love thrifted jackets!! I have multiple thrifted green jackets I have plans to use for patches. Two already have patches sewn on, another is blank rn. Probably gonna get more progress on the other two before I start that one. I’m big into DIY alt stuff, like Kandi jewelry and clothing mods. It makes being alt easier since I’m poor af and buying shit is always a risk 🥴

I don’t have much of a beat by beat narrative fleshed out rn. I’m mostly in the concept stage rn. Trying to nail down my inspirations, symbolism, intent with the story, as well as what everything will represent/mean/imply in the greater message overall. I usually wouldn’t go this hard over the lil details and poetics of everything but like wheghwgw my intent w/ this film isn’t to just make a goofy lil slasher or monster flick, but a more meaty film to properly represent what I wanna convey: WHICH IIISSS lycanthropy as a representation of transmasculinity, depersonalization, alienation from society, and the effects of internal and external struggles on young trans people as they’re trying to find their place in the world. As well as how community can save victimized and alienated trans ppl. All through the lens of werewolf :] ANYWAYS SORRY THAT YAP WAS RLLY LONG I probably could’ve summarized but my brain is goo rn and I’m sleepy af :,)

[1d1195]

Omg finally had time to read the newest toothpaste update and bestie…omg?! That was so GOOD!!! I know you typically don’t write smut(which is FINE!!!) this build up was just so😵‍💫 THE THUMB SUCKING I WOULD SIMPLY DIE!! She’s so brave bc omg could cry just thinking about it lol and she’s so bold omg I love that for her😭 and he’s so in love like this man is so down bad, I love it!! That “cavity filling” line… SAM WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO TYPE THAT HAHAH I LOVE IT !!!! It was so nice to read about these two again, loved it as always!!

I think it was also for the best lol I would have been WAY more unhinged than I already was lol and it seems so much like you to be worried about them and honestly I get it!

Bestie anything you come up with I know it will just be great!! And the way Market Basket has now been added to my list of stores I will simply not enter bc that sounds so bad😭 I love a good deal but my mental state probs candle handle that HAHA

Oh the writting aspect seems like it would have been horrible like the process of it lol I feel like you would have absolutely slayed cognitive psychology classes!! There’s so much stuff about the brain and like behavioral stuff too!

IM FINALLY FREE!!! Took both my final exams on the same day so my brain is a little fried but still very happy to be over with everything:)! YOURE incredibly sweet Sam😭❤️ I miss you too obviously when I’ve been away! I always love chatting with you no matter what! But same goes for you too, your overall stability and health is a priority! No matter how long it will always be so important to put yourself first!

I’m also so surprised how inspired you have been for Honey bc the amount of writting you’ve done in such a short time is so crazy in the best way!! I get being a bit critical on what you work on BUT I’m sure the last few parts are just as amazing!

THAT MEN QUOTE OMG THATS SO REAL!!!! HAHHA LOVE IT! I like the idea of annotating bc I think it’s cute too! I typically end up writing it out or taking a pic of a quote I like but that’s pretty much it! I also donate my books once I feel like I’ve outgrown them a bit so I try not to do too much damage lol but omg that sounds so fun with your friend!!

Hope you had a good week my love! And wishing such a peaceful and relaxing weekend! Love you lots!!!-💜

Yay! I think the whole reason I had this idea is because I finally have a dentist that doesn't make me want to cry anymore. I was so traumatized growing up HATING the dentist. Now I find it lowkey relaxing just laying there lol I am trying to think of more sexy punny innuendos for the dentist (there's something about being drilled on the tip of my tongue) but yes, he's mostly just obsessed with her 😍 as he should be. she's so cute 🤭

FREEDOM! YAY! I'm glad you're done! So exciting!!! 💕

I think I wrote like 15k words in the first day of starting it. Sometimes when I have (what I think is) a good idea, I try and write as MUCH as I can as quickly as possible so I don't forget anything I want to include. So I was bouncing back and forth between the beginning/middle/end putting pieces down that I don't even know if I'll use but I gotta include in case I need it. I'm currently REALLY attached to Honey still though (probs because I wrote it so quickly) so I'm lowkey struggling to write something else because I don't want to let them go 😭 It's like when I read a book that just hits and I'm like "I cannot leave them. They're my friends." It feels rude to move on.

I've been trying to donate more of my books! I'm out of room on my shelves! I usually leave them in the staff lounge. But I can't exactly bring my smut books into a school so I have to be strategic about which ones I bring in 😂 If I think I'm going to reread the book, or even just look at it, I always keep it. So there are MANY like that so I am struggling to clear space on my shelf. Plus I just keep buying more anyway 😂

Solid week overall and I'm hoping to be productive this weekend, but we will see. I want to put up fall decorations even though it's still like 80 degrees out. I know you don't like the cold much but I'm DYING for 50-60 fall breezes 😭

Love you!

xoxo

Hope you had a good week my love! And wishing such a peaceful and relaxing weekend! Love you lots!!!-💜