#what if hes the new voice actor for black doom (joking)

[sonknuxadow]

just saw an article saying stephanie sheh is voicing maria and their source was a sonic fan site saying it with no evidence. okay man

why are people talking about "maria's new voice actor" as if we actually know who that is. they havent even confirmed if shes gonna be in the game or not let alone who would voice her if she did

[angryandethnic]

Sydney x Carmy high school cooking class is AU

Summary: Sydney is in search of a partner for a project in her high school home economics class. Carmy recognizes talent when he sees it. Cue teenage nerves.

I’m sorry I couldn’t resist. Want the Bear AUs more than I want air. Just wanted to get this out of my brain and in the universe.

———-

The project was simple, the classic home economics soufflé. Sydney’s insides began to churn the instant Mrs. Robinson directed the students to “find a partner.”

A mid semester transfer, from a school in Brozneville. But Sydney knew that In River North people were so goddamn touchy about geography, the importance of history, and “neighborhoods”. Coming from a different part of Chicago might as well be a foreign exchange student from Mars.

Was she actively sweating now? A nervous fidget at her braids, she scanned the room looking for the least likely rejection.

“You got a partner yet?” Sydney turned sharply to the voice, a small blossom of relief unfurling in her chest.

A prospective partner! Maybe Sydney hoped she wasn’t doomed to spend the next two years before graduation cast as the neurotic new girl who definitely almost ( on accident but not really!) stabbed some kid opening her oven and fucking with her temps.

“It. WASN’T his oven! None of this would have happened if Ritchie would mind his business and do his own cooking!” The vice principal had remained incredulous and alarmed at her defense. In retrospect as she had sat in a Saturday detention she realized maybe contrition would have been the better play.

The inquiring voice slow and soft asked again “ Do wanna partner ?” Carmen.

Sudden uncontrollable the swarm of butterflies invaded her stomach.

Sydney barely knew him. He typically sat in the back of class, no where near her. She so eager and dead center in the front. On an given day he shuffled in right before the bell looking apologetic and disheveled, the flush of gym class still on him.

Sydney had once watched a bead of sweat slide down his bicep like it was an Oscar winning movie. She had replayed that thought in her head over and over and over for days in the privacy of her bedroom. Her hand slipped between her thighs, skin warm and tingling.

They had never been formally introduced . As a transfer, she wanted as little attention on her a possible thank you very much!

But Carmen’s name had always stuck with her. It was classic- old Hollywood. Incongruently glamorous for a rumpled sleepy-eye junior who barely spoke.

But the name, reminded her of the black and white turner classic movies. The kind she’d watch snuggled between her grandmother’s knees as her hair was braided.

Films with strong silent types with wavy haired heartthrobs with piercing eyes. Actors in grayscale with eyes you could swim in. A gaze that seemed to see all of you at once . Yes she thought. He looked like a Carmen indeed.

“…so is that a yes ? Or no? I understand if you don’t want to.” Carmen trailed off . His whole body seemed to be slumped into the lazy indifferent posture loose limbed like a reclining Greek statue. But his eyes never left her face focused constantly searching. For what, Sydney did not know.

“No!”

“ I mean yes! Like no I don’t have a partner. I am VERY much in need of someone”. Sydney could feel her face heating up.

She resisted the urge to close her eyes and beg whatever deity was on shift up there to just strike her down.

Carmen did her the kindness of ignoring her nerves. “Cool.”

His nod was almost imperceptible. His smile was slight but genuine. It was a shy smile that made Sydney feel like she was in on a joke. Part of a secret club. She could feel the tips of her ears radiating warm.

“I’m Sydney by the way. I don’t think we’ve errr ever ���” She trailed off. She settled for biting her lip, just to keep from blabbering.

“Yeah. I know-” The interjection came out of Carmen’s mouth quick almost involuntarily. It was his turn to fidget, quickly carding his hands through his hair.Embarrassed by his sudden need to put her at ease.

Sydney eyes followed the movement. Wondering just what it would feel like to put her hands in his riot of curls.

How would it feel to smooth them down and watch his eyes close as he drifted off? To tug on strands to pull him closer to feel him press against her.

“ I remember your name. Sydney.” There was that smile again, slight, small and all for her. Sydney wanted to see him smile like that a million more times, maybe forever.

“…because of that risotto you made like umm, what was it two weeks ago? ” Carmen seemed to study his shoes, suddenly feeling vulnerable. His voice soft and intimate “I remember it because it was tremendous.”

A unashamed smile bloomed on her face. Bright and wide. “Really ?!”

“ Absolutely. No doubt. That’s why I need you to be my partner.” He jerked his thumb toward the rest of the class. “ so uh, you ready to blow these jokers out of the water ?”

Sydney pulled her notebook with a flourish. “I’ve got a couple of ideas.”

Carmen peeked over her shoulder to look at the note book, his voice close enough to Sydney’s ear to cause a shiver. “Whatever you want Sydney . Whatever you want.”

I’m sorry I couldn’t resist. Want the Bear AUs more than I want air.

[lisinfleur]

Santa’s Roots

The request:

Author’s Notes | Some historians claim that Santa Claus’ figure was inspired by Odin. What if it was true? For a certain Modern Viking, it is! Inspired by Harbard’s interaction with young Ivar in the series. I hope you’ll like it! Universe | Vikings Pairing | Ivar x Reader Info | Modern AU, made for Patron’s Holiday Event Words | 1092 ⁑ Warnings: Religious re-readings, unconfirmed comparisons, and sources.

"Why do we have to make this stupid trip?"

Of course, he was annoyed. Even more, because he was planning a trip with Y/N to spend the Christian Christmas in a tropical country enjoying the heat; and now he was forced to drag his limp pained leg through the snow of the Santa Claus Village in Rovaniemi.

Yeah. Lapland.

In the fucking FREEZING FINLAND!

"It's Yule and Christmas and no matter how you look at it, Ivar, it's a family holiday and we'll spend it together."

He loved his beautiful mother, but sometimes that need she had for them to be all together all the time was suffocating. After growing older, he was starting to understand his father's constant trips and to wish Aslaug would do something like fulfilling Sigurd's emptiness and his lack of motherly attention.

But this time, not even Sigurd had escaped that torture. And for the first time, they were both grumpy and moody at the same time.

At least, Y/N had come with him. Sigurd's girl was waiting for him with her family at the beach they had planned to go to together and that trip had forced him to delay. Ubbe as well was grumpy: dating Björn's ex-wife, he saw his hopes to send Torvi's children with Björn that year going down the drain. After all, what kid would want to exchange Santa Claus' village for a trip to the boring Mediterranean with daddy's brand-new chick?

Hvitserk was the only one having fun along with Y/N and the children - the bastard was finding every source of food, candies, and delights through their ways, putting so many smiles on Y/N's face that Ivar was asking all the gods to get his brother fat at the end of that cursed trip. Or at least some good, long and intense diarrhea, so he would have something to laugh at in the middle of all that red, black, gold, and white mess.

"Sorry!" A gods damn dwarf?

Gnome?

Grinch... No. Elf! A gods damn elf stumbled on his crutch, almost taking Ivar's balance, forcing him to stop his already slow steps to straighten the damn titanium braces under the trousers with a loud grunt of anger.

Because of course, his day wasn't doomed enough. No. The pain of that cold shitty place wasn't enough. Nor the elves everywhere, nor the repetitive music, nor the children's noises, fake gift boxes, bells... Not even the irritant bells weren't enough! Someone had to fucking misplace his braces to get him left behind by his whole family...

Kinda his fault: Ivar had walked slower than them all the whole time, trying to get himself distant and leave clear he wasn't happy. Even Y/N had started walking with Hvitserk since his mood was so terrible that not even her was able to hold it this time. He couldn't blame them for avoiding his presence enough not to notice he had to stop...

But where were they after all?

They wouldn't just disappear like that in a matter of minutes.

Ivar had just lowered himself for a moment to straighten the braces... How come they had managed to disappear in the middle of that fucking colored place?

For a moment, Ivar's heart filled with a cold sensation that spread all over this spine. He searched his pockets. Of course, his cellphone hadn't a single bar of signal in that place. His blues ran around searching for his brothers, the noisy children, his mom, Y/N.

And then it was when he realized...

There was no one to be seen.

The noisy children had gone. The elves were gone... Everything was, all of a sudden, silent, except for those bells.

With his crutch, Ivar walked around some steps, trying not to get lost in whatever the fuck was happening around him. But with a few steps forward, as if everything wasn't strange enough, a thick fog started to move around his legs, covering the place, flying ghostly through the gift boxes and colored trees.

Ivar felt the urge to get the heck out of that place. With some effort, he started walking at a quicker pace not observing when the decorations around him started changing from the usual plastic balls and ribbons to colored flowers, painted pine cones, straw animals... His eyes betrayed him, but his ears weren't failing: the bells were becoming higher. And higher...

"I don't know what kind of stupid prank is this! But I don't like it! I didn't pay for this package! I want this to stop right now!" he yelled.

Just to almost lose his balance once again when a horse exhaled behind his back, forcing him to turn around in a quick movement that cost him a grunt of pain, bending Ivar's body over itself when his hand touched the knee of his right leg. The braces had made a loud sound indicating it was a forced movement and now his knee was horribly aching once again.

However, the pain was something usual for him. Unusual was to see Santa Claus not dressed in the traditional red clothes... Unusual was to watch the old man coming down from a horse... Wait. How many legs did that fucking horse have?

And how the fuck did he have a horse? Shouldn't it be reindeers?

And a sled?

"What in..." Ivar started, swallowing dry and lifting his face to see the man in front of him was smiling.

A visible and open smile in the middle of the big and voluminous white beard covering his jaw and cascading down to his belly.

"Hello, Ivar," the man said with a surprisingly cozy voice, causing Ivar's face to twist in a frown of pure surprise, full of wrinkles on his forehead that earned one of the usual laughs from the white-bearded man.

"What the heck?" Ivar said, straightening himself even with pain on his leg. "Who told you my name? And why the fuck are we alone in this place?"

The man continued calm and smiley despite Ivar's clear annoyance.

"I know many names, boy. And I know you, since you were, in fact, a boy," the man said, looking down to Ivar's legs. "They still ache a lot, I can see."

Ivar's frown gained two more wrinkles on his forehead.

"What? Where do you know me? Who are you, man?" he asked, fully annoyed by what he was sure was a ridiculous prank his mother had paid for him to fall on, in the hope he would, somehow, like that trip into the middle of the freezing nowhere.

But the man just laughed once again, touching Ivar with a gentle pat that soon became a heavy hand weighing on Ivar's shoulder, forcing his whole attention to detail he wasn't able to notice before but now was clear like crystal in front of his eyes.

That man... That strange Santa Claus...

He clearly didn't have one of his eyes.

Ivar's blues were somehow attracted into the emptiness of that missing eye. And he swore he could hear the bells stopping, and crows cawing. The fog became stronger, but Ivar couldn't stop looking at that empty hole on that man's face until something formed into the dark.

Something that made Ivar's blues large when the voice of that man sounded once again, rumbling into Ivar's chest like a clap of thunder.

"I know everyone that was and everyone that will be. I'm the one who was and remains. And after you're gone, I'll still be here, until the wolf comes to swallow me whole. But before you go, I can still grant you a gift, son. Let us say you were good this year," the old man joked.

His words filling Ivar's ears while his eyes were locked at the image into that man's empty eye-hole.

"Yggdrasil..." Ivar mumbled.

And his eyes blinked, seeing the whole man once again in front of him, smiling.

"Odin?" he asked.

Receiving nothing but a new pat on his shoulder and once again, the traditional giggle that came along the whole noisy environment around, all at once invading Ivar's ears like a wave of noise and mess once again.

"Ho ho ho... Merry Christmas!"

Standing in front of him was nothing but an actor, fully dressed like the old Santa. Nothing different from the usual along with the fake gift boxes and all the rest Ivar could see when he turned his head, confused, searching for that whole illusion he was thrown into one second ago.

Was that a delirium? Was that somehow real?

"What's wrong, Ivar?" Y/N's voice woke him up and called his attention causing Ivar to once again turn himself too quick to look at her.

Another clang from his braces. Ivar waited for the wave of pain...

But it never came.

"Are your legs ok? Are you in pain, love?" she asked, fully worried.

But Ivar looked shocked down to his legs, feeling nothing. Absolutely no pain. Like one of his best-bones' days...

The days he used to say were gifts from the gods into his life.

"I... I... I think I... I'm fine I just... For a moment..." Ivar gasped with the words.

His eyes were still searching around for that image so vivid of Odin he had seen. He was sure he had seen! It was real!

And he took his pain away for a day...

"You see? The cold is starting to freeze Ivar's brain! Can we go home or at least somewhere warm now?" Sigurd complained.

The kids coming closer to Ubbe with their hands full of candy canes from Hvitserk's bag.

Everyone was so close... They didn't have disappeared.

But Ivar was sure he was the only one who saw that man.

"Are you ok, Ivar?" Y/N asked again and Ivar finally focused his eyes on her.

"I am. I'm just... I think I just need some warm chocolate and we can stay a little longer... For the kids, I mean."

"What?" Sigurd complained immediately. "See? Frozen brains!" he said, pointing Ivar's head.

But Ivar just approached Y/N's, speaking low, almost like a secret.

"Do you believe this thing about... Santa and Odin... Being the same person and stuff?" he asked, causing Y/N to smile.

"Oh, this is why you're so bothered, isn't it? Babe, don't be like this, uh? Some historians say that our Santa is somehow inspired by Odin with his eight-legged horse, granting gifts to his followers and knowing who was acting bad or good along his way. If it makes you feel more comfortable then think about this place as Odin's village!" she joked.

Getting a small curve from Ivar's lips.

"Come, let's get you that hot chocolate, uh?" she said, enlacing his arm with her own and starting to walk at his pace towards the coffee shop Hvitserk was already entering for what? The third time?

Ivar's eyes looked back at that man dressed as Santa Claus, complimenting everyone. His steps showing him his legs weren't aching at all anymore. Whoever it was, Santa Claus, Odin... It had really granted him a gift for that day.

The Santa turned looking at him once again.

And Ivar could swear that one-eyed man winked at him before it was nothing but the actor once again.

"Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!" the man yelled.

Santa Claus' Village... Odin's place... It wasn't that bad to make that trip after all.

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[gowithgabby]

Remember the Daze.

Character BIO(s):

Kylie Julien McCarthy

17 years old

Born on September 2nd

Nickname: Ky pronounced like “Kai” (by everyone) Kay-Jay (only by Sav and Jessa), Jewels (by Noah)

Goals: Yale, aspiring to be a Doctor

Interests: Reading, Baking, Beach Days, Mathematics, Literature, Pizza

Crushing on Noah Collins, her best friend since Kindergarten

Summary: One of the best students at Laguna Beach High School, Kylie is articulate, well spoken, mannered, good at multitasking, fairly great at planning, and organized. The kid has a good heart and a good head on her shoulders. A straight A student, member of the school decathlon team, the senior class VP. Kylie is very sweet, honorable, and level headed often acting as the voice of reason in the female portion of her friends. Kylie was born to a successful lawyer, George McCarthy and his partner, Christopher Julien, a ambitious magazine editor. They used a surrogate to have their children, Kylie does know of her birth mother and maintains a relationship with her but she loves her fathers very much. She has a little sister named Violet, who is starting her freshman year at Laguna Beach HS. In all of her 17 years, Kylie has been very complacent in her actions. This year, she is hoping to take the big step in really getting what she wants. She just hopes that it doesn’t blow up in her face. 

Noah Joseph Collins

18 years old

Born on June 27th

Nickname: Joey, Jojo (Only by Kylie and his mom)

Goals: Yale, aspiring to be a Lawyer

Interests: Listening to music before his time, Pizza, Video Games, Reading, Writing, Debating, and Traveling.

Crushing on Kylie McCarthy, his best friend since Kindergarten

Summary: You might think Kylie is the best student at Laguna, but Noah is her academic rival. While he is on the basketball team, he doesn’t care much for the glory that sports brings, not neglecting his athletic skills. He prefers to bury himself with books, educating himself and enriching his mind. You would think him and Kylie would be trying to tear each other down to be the best but it’s actually the exact opposite, they work off each other and build together. This is mainly due to being each other’s best friends since kindergarten, having fond memories of each other. Noah split his lunch with Kylie when she forgot hers on their first day and they’ve been tight ever since. He has dreams of Yale, his father’s alma mater. He is gifted, the editor of the school’s newspaper and he is the senior class President. He is the son of New York Times best selling author, Layla Shaw-Collins and her equally successful husband, Duane Collins, who made his wealth being the most sought out talent agent in LA. He has an older brother named Aaron whom is starting his junior year at Cornell and an older sister named Luna who is a sophomore at Spelman college, a historic black college.

Savanna Wyatt Birkhart

17 years old

Born on October 31st

Nickname: Sav, Savvy, Wyatt (by Ethan)  

Goal: UCLA, aspiring to be a Model

Interests: Modeling, Singing, Cheerleading, Bonfires, Volunteering, Traveling, Shopping, Horror Movies, Yoga, Romance Movies, Makeup, Sage, Hot Wings, Indian Food.

Dating Levi James, boyfriend of 4 years. Crushing on her best friend, Ethan Mahoney (possibly)

Summary: What’s to say about Savanna Birkhart that hasn’t been said already?, dubbed the golden girl of her senior class due to her being head cheerleader and girlfriend of arrogant, Levi, the football star. She makes good grades to keep her GPA somewhat untouchable, she dreams of UCLA. Daughter of Carter Birkhart, a successful property realtor and his award winning actress wife, Farrah Sayers-Birkhart. From the time that the biracial girl was placed in her mother’s arms as a baby, she was genetically “blessed”, taking the best of both parents. Doomed to be popular of her face and wealth, don’t think she feeds into the stereotype of high school. Far from entitled and spoiled, she’s openly friendly, down to earth, charitable, honest, warm, caring, and very naive…especially when it comes to her boyfriend, Levi. Everyone is friends with Sav, she’s a good person to be around. She has an older brother named Silas, who is climbing the ladder to be a PR agent in LA, alma mater of USC and she has a 10 year old younger brother named Six, who was born on Christmas Day. Lately, she’s been finding herself in a somewhat love triangle, between her boyfriend whom she loves and her best friend, Ethan, who she also loves but she’s not sure if it’s friendly love or something more. She’s best friends with Ethan, Cali, Kylie, Noah, and Jessa but gets along with everyone fairly well.

Levi Nathaniel James

18 years old

Born on May 15th

Nickname: LJ

Goal(s): winning the state championship, Stanford, aspires to be CEO of his father’s company

Interests: Partying, Drinking, Working out, Having Sex, Traveling, Sushi, Indian Food, Sports

Dating Savanna Birkhart, girlfriend of 4 years. Unbeknownst to his naive girlfriend, he tends to cheat on her when he goes on family trips or with his dad out of town. He does love her but sometimes he cheats.

Summary: Born to a pair of sun-kissed blonde power couple, Levi is the son of Fortune 500 - Forbes listed CEO of JamesCo, William James and his former model turned socialite wife, Uma Peterson-James. From the day that he was born, Levi has been told that he is powerful, he has money and a lot of it. There hasn’t been anything he wasn’t given, awarded, provided. Textbook jock, Levi excelled in football (mainly), basketball, lacrosse, soccer, and surfs in his free time. He’s QB of the football team and he relishes in the fact that he has Sav on his arm, he’s perfect and he only wants the best for his ego. He mainly focuses on his girlfriend, sex, parties (lots of them), drinking, and sports. He is not the best friend you would want however, very few outside of their friend group knows how he got Sav, by betraying his former best friend from childhood, Ethan, who still harbors a love for Savanna. Recently, he’s been noticing Ethan’s less than quiet advances on Sav. He doesn’t like it, but he has also been holding in secrets from his girlfriend, his cheating and a deeper one that might not only fuck up his relationship with Savanna but destroy the bonds that are deep rooted with their friend group. Levi does have a softer side that only his parents, Savanna, and his sister get to see. He has a little sister named Chelsie, who is a gymnastics prodigy in the making at only 12 years old. He’s best friends with Talan, he’s friends with everyone but he doesn’t care too much for Ethan still being accepted in their group of friends.

Maia Genevieve Langley

18 years old

Born on July 5th

Nickname: Mai, Langley

Goal: Juilliard, aspiring to be an Actress

Interests: Flowers, Hot Girls, Cute Boys, Designing, Makeup, Sneakers, Cupcakes, Acting, Slumber Parties, and experimenting with different hair colors

Crushing on Bodhi Desai and her female classmate, Hanna Richardson

Summary: Everything about Maia screams sensitive, mainly Kylie’s best friends but she does hold close friendships with everyone in the group, Maia is overly sensitive, fiercely loyal, a ride or die friend, and occasionally shy. A little bit on the hyperactive side, openly bisexual and her parents are okay with it, modern day hippies…what can you say?! She had her first same sex experience with a girl at summer camp when she was in the 7th grade. Her friends do tend to walk on eggshells with her due to her over-sensitivity to avoid triggering her. A flair for the dramatics, Maia knows her name will be in lights one day. She wanted to just move to LA and not go to college but her parents are still a little old-fashioned and want her to be educated and perfect her craft before she attempts the struggling actress thing. She was born to a Japanese-American Self help guru named Mina Sato-Langley and a English father named Jeremiah Langley, he was a footballer in England before transitioning to the states and settling into ESPN anchor fame. Maia is the eldest of four children, having two younger identical twin brothers named Hunter and Finn Langley, who are freshmen at Laguna Beach high school. She has a younger sister named Bay Langley who is 6 years old, Maia was 12 years old when her sister was born, she was a what you call a “surprise” baby. Maia has spent the last four years in awe of Bodhi but he doesn’t pick up on her flirtatious banter or he ignores it to avoid hurting her feelings.

Bodhi Abraham Desai

18 years old

Born on March 19th

Nickname: Bo

Goal: Cornell, this school is said to have the best culinary arts program; aspiring to be a Chef with his own restaurant

Interests: Mixology, Baking, Cooking, Soul Music, R&B, Comic Books, Alternative music, Old movies, joking

Crushing on Cali Hernandez

Summary: Known as the Lovable Goofball, Bodhi is down to earth, laidback, friendly, and most of all, silly. He is the son of British Indian award winning Bollywood turned Hollywood actor named Deepak Desai and his acclaimed Screenwriter wife, welsh-Irish wife, Alys Davies-Desai. He has a younger sister named Billie, named after his parents love for Billie Holiday, who is 11 years old. Bodhi dreams of being a chef one day with a restaurant similar to Wolfgang or Gordon, his culinary idols. He would love to take his culinary skills abroad and studying in France, India, Italy, and many other countries. He is quite skilled in mixology, teaching himself the art of mixing drinks from YouTube and picking up tricks from hired bartenders at his parents parties and events. He makes decent grades enough to make his parents proud, he excels in chemistry having a love for science since he was in elementary school. He surfs in his alone time and is a beast on the beach when it comes to frisbee and volleyball. He’s best friends with Noah and Ethan. Close friend with everyone else in the group.

Calista Pilar Hernandez

17 years old

Born on December 31st, a New Year’s Eve baby

Nickname: Cali

Goal: UCLA or USC, aspiring to be a Decorator

Interests: Shopping, Makeup, Vlogging, Chinese Food, Boba Tea, Cheerleading, Beach Nights, Partying.

Dating Talan Everett, boyfriend of 4 years. Crushing on someone in the group but refusing to say it

Summary: Calista is the hot-headed BFF to Savanna Birkhart, while they’re both cheerleaders and share some interests, but ultimately are opposite, where Savanna is down to earth and warm, Cali tends to come off as spoiled and cold. Outspoken, brash, a slick mouth and sarcasm stewed to perfection. Do not call her a spicy Latina, she hates the way Hollywood has stereotyped women with attitude. She’s fiery and will let you know about your wrongs, proud of her heritage. She’s of Mexican-Cuban descent and Swedish through her mother. Cali has a younger brother named Javi, who is a sophomore at Laguna Beach High. Raised by her single father, Javier Hernandez Sr, a famous architect that made his wealth building homes and iconic businesses for the elite. Her mother, Enya Nilsson was a influential fashion designer with several collections, one even named after her daughter, Calista. She lost her mom at 8 years old, making her father a widow. He buried himself into his work and left his cards accessibly to his kids, Cali stepped up and helped her various nannies with her younger brother who was only 6 when their mom died. Like her best friend, she’s sexually active with her boyfriend, Talan. She and Savanna were already going to be best friends, due to their mothers. Enya and Farrah being friends. Farrah even walked on the runway for her designer friend a few times, somehow falling pregnant with their daughters weirdly around the same time. She’s been having issues with her boyfriend, Talan lately.

Talan Gray Everett

18 years old

Born on April 10th

Nickname: Tal

Goal: Wharton Business School, aspires to be Advertising Executive

Interests: Drawing, Gardening, Growing his own Weed strains, Smoking pot, Surfing, Painting, Working out

Dating Cali Hernandez, girlfriend of 4 years. Crushing on Jessa Filipov, his best friend of 6 years.

Summary: Talan is by far the most reliable guy next to Noah in his group of his friends. Son of A-List Party Planner, Britney Westin-Everett and successful Nightclub-Exotic Strip owning Mogul, Alan Everett. Talan has a younger sister named, Serena who is 15 years old and a sophomore at Laguna Beach HS and a older half brother on his father’s side, Gilliam, nicknamed Gill, who’s a senior at NYU. Talan spends his days smoking weed, drawing, surfing, skate-boarding, playing volleyball, and mainly keeping his GF, Cali and his best friend, Jessa from ripping each other’s hair out. While he knows Cali is not always a BITCH on wheels and Jessa is not only known for her body count, he doesn’t understand why the young women don’t care to much for him having the other in his life. He often wonders had his life would have been different if he chose Jessa over Cali back in the summer of 9th grade. Would Cali even still be his friend?. He knows they’re both different outside of school and when they’re alone with him. Don’t let his pot smoking ways fool you, Talan is very articulate, calculated, wise…even honorable. He has a green-thumb and he frequently grows his own cannabis in grow houses on the shores of Laguna. He does plan on going to study business. He’s a skilled artist and creative with everything. He’s sexually active and you would think with how close he is with Jessa, he cheated on Cali. But he has not, he’s been extremely faithful to his girlfriend, he does love her. Even though lately they have been on murky waters.

Jessa Beatrix Filipov

17 years old

Born on September 23rd

Nickname: J, JJ, Jess, Bea

Goal: NYU or FIT, aspires to be a Stylist

Interests: Dancing, Twerking, Parties, Salads, Gyros, Burgers, Cheerleading, Beach Days, Themed parties, Hip Hop, Pop music

Crushing on Talan Everett, her best friend of 6 years. Despite him having a GF, Cali

Summary: Jessa was not born in Laguna Beach, Cali will let you and everyone know this information. But she was born in the Nation’s capital to a pair of Bulgarian-American parents, her mother was a high society debutante, Petia Alferov-Filipov and her father, Darian Filipov, was the son of a Oil tycoon who was working his way to senator in his state of DC. However her high society days were cut short when her parents were killed in a car crash when she was 12 years old. Not having any family that was willingly to take her in on the east coast, Jessa was placed in care with her paternal aunt, Yoana Filipov, who was 23 years old at the time. Her aunt is old enough to be her older sister and is not much of a guardian. Her aunt is an heiress who doesn’t need to work, naturally she let her niece do whatever she wants. Only showing up to parent-guardian type things if it’s really needed, signing permission slips and sending her niece money. Jessa quickly made friends in the first few weeks of moving to LB, quickly making her debut as the 10th friend in their group of 9. Jessa “grew up and out” developing physically before the other girls in the group, making her unwisely the first one to adhere to her sexual exploration and interests. She briefly dated Noah, even took his virginity in 9th grade before letting him go as he continued to love Kylie from afar. She does not believe in labels or dating unless she’s really in love and she’s only been in love with one person, Talan for as long as she can remember. A cheerleader, a party girl, and sexually liberated (her words), Jessa is not everyone’s cup of tea…mainly Cali’s. She and Cali actually share a lot in common, both being confident in their looks on the outside but insecure on the inside, sexually active, slick mouthed and sharp tongued, you would think they’d be the best of friends…but they aren’t and Talan is the reason. Plus she also never really like Cali due to her attitude and spoiled demeanor and ability to keep secrets and lie, she is however best friends with Sav and Maia and occasionally Kylie, as she respects the girl’s morals and values to wait. She’s got a good heart and she does believe in love, having seen it firsthand with her parents. She doesn’t want to rush into something that will bite her in the ass. Until it’s something real, mainly with Talan, she doesn’t want a relationship, keeping it casual.

Ethan Lewis Mahoney

18 years old

Born on April 22nd

Nickname: E, Ma-Honey (by Sav…a childhood nickname because she mispronounced his surname in pre-K) and Mahone (by Sav and Noah)

Goal: NYFA or USA, aspires to be a director

Interests: Photography, Smoking Weed, Directing, Writing, Making Films, Comic Books, Hot Wings, Tacos, Horror Movies, and Spicy Foods

Crushing on Savanna Birkhart, his best friend since Pre-K.

Summary: Ethan prefers to spend his time, directing school plays, photographing things, his muse is often Savanna, often taking a lot of her photos for her portfolio. But he’s not a creep about it, she asks him and he obliges because he loves her and knows that she will be a phenomenal model one day. He works for the school newspaper as the head photographer after Noah asked him to when his OG photographer graduated two years ago. While no desires to be a sports guy, Ethan does enjoy watching them. He’s more on the artistic side, preferring to be on the opposing side like behind his lenses or making the productions. He’s the son of Celebrity Chef, Eleanor White (formerly Mahoney) and her philandering Award winning Actor ex husband, Lyle Mahoney. Ethan is the middle of three children that the couple bore before divorcing, he has an older sister named Isla Mahoney who’s currently working at Vogue as a social media advisor, and he has a younger brother named Noel Mahoney who’s the same as age as Sav’s younger brother, Six. He has dated in the past and even had sex a few times, but none of them compared…compared to Savanna. She’s been the object of his affection since he was in preschool, he loved her even before he knew what love was. They even shared their first kiss together. Ethan was right on track with own planning tactics to telling Savanna how he felt until Levi happened. Levi was at one point his best friend, he swooped in and asserted his claim on Savanna, buying her off with lavish gifts and court side seats. He didn’t blame Sav, Levi gave her a story of lies that he always been in love with her and he was too scared to make a move, the gifts didn’t get her…the lies of Levi did. From then on, Ethan had to watch the girl of his dreams be paraded around like a trophy by his former best friend. Things have been rocky ever since, with both guys only getting along for the sake of Savanna. But he wants it’s to be different especially after he hears some interesting news about Levi’s infidelity…he’s just hoping Savanna will believe him and not Levi.

[deadanddeactivated]

Jocks and Goths

Fandom: Sanders Sides, Highschool au Pairing: Intruality Characters: Thomas, Logan, Remus, Deceit, Roman, Virgil, Patton Notes: Day 17 for @tsshipmonth2020 - intruality.  No this was not written before Dukceit day, I’ve literally written this since posting that.  Sometimes fics take three weeks and sometimes they take two hours.  This took two hours. Summary:   One's a Goth, one's a Jock. They never really meant to become friends.

AO3

--

Even since moving to Sides High, Patton has successfully managed to avoid Remus Duke.  It wasn’t that he didn’t like the guy, although he did find a lot of what Remus said to be… unnerving.  And the other did have really large, very toned, mildly terrifying muscles.  Plus everything he did was loud enough Patton sometimes flinched.

But!  It wasn’t that Patton thought he was bad or anything!!  It’s not bad that Remus is healthy, and it’s not Remus’ fault that Patton overhears things, and maybe Remus’ doesn’t mean to be so loud.  Patton has nothing against the man himself.

Virgil, however, does. 

Patton’s not sure what happened between Virgil and Remus, because it happened before Patton transferred to the school.  He’s pretty sure it had something to do with a romantic relationship?  Whatever it was, it left the two with a horrible, terrible relationship.  They don’t get on, at all.  And since Patton is Virgil’s friend (since Virgil is Patton’s first and only friend) doesn’t that mean Patton has to share that grudge?  Virgil’s never said Patton can’t be friends with Remus, they’ve never even talked about Remus, but Patton’s pretty sure that’s like… a Friend Rule, or something.  

The point is, Patton has managed never to say a word to Remus one way or the other.  A carefully held record that’s ruined when they’re paired up for a history assignment.

Okay, Patton tells himself, this’ll be fine.  It’s just an assignment, surely Virgil won’t mind.  Right?

“Patton Heart, right?”  Remus says his name and it takes everything in Patton not to flinch.

“That’s um, that’s me.”  He mumbles, letting his pastel blue hair fall in his eyes as he avoids looking at Remus.

“Great.”  Remus grins, dragging a seat to Patton’s desk and sitting in it the wrong way round.  “You got your heart set on anything for this because I think we should do Bloody Mary, or maybe Genghis Khan, oh!  Or Vlad the Impaler!” 

“That sounds a bit… graphic.”  Patton says.  For their project they have to represent a historical figure and the impact they had on the world from a ‘unique’ angle (Virgil would probably complain about how vague the word ‘unique’ was, or maybe he’d complain that Patton has to work with Remus for the project.  Should Patton even tell him?)

“Yeah!”  Remus grins, like that’s a positive thing. 

“Can we do someone that didn’t cause so much bloodshed?”  Patton asks. 

“I mean, I guess.  If you can think of anyone more interesting.”  Remus says, sighing like it’s some big request.  

“I, um, I can’t think of anyone off the top of my head.”  Patton admits, wincing.  Remus lets out an exaggerated hum.

“Okay, meet me in the library after school.  We can try and find someone.”  He suggests.

“Okay.”  Patton agrees meekly.  Satisfied, Remus gets up from the chair and moves to a different group.  A group that has popular people with tone muscles and busy lives.

God, Patton thinks with a sigh, this is going to be a long project.  Any project with a jock was doomed to be long.

--

“You want to get ice-cream or something?”  Virgil asks Patton after school that day.  Rare is the day Virgil doesn’t have some show rehearsal to get to - lights to set up, props to organize, actors to chase down.  The life of a theatre geek is never boring, he often tells Patton, especially a theatre techie.

Which just makes Patton feel all the worse for having to say no.

“I’m sorry.”  He says.  “I have to work on a group project for history.”

“Who’d you get stuck with?”  Virgil asks.  Patton hesitates but he can’t exactly lie to Virgil, can he?  Just hope that Virgil doesn’t get annoyed.

“...Remus.”  He admits.

“Ouch.”  Virgil says with a wince.  “Good luck keeping him on track for long enough to finish a project.”

“We have to pick a historical figure and everyone he’s suggesting is really gory and brutal.”  Patton says, feeling physical relief that Virgil doesn't seem to care.

“Sounds like Remus.”  Virgil huffs, rolling with his eyes.  “Maybe pick a doctor, that should have enough blood and gore to keep him interested.”

“Oh!”  Patton lights up as an idea comes to him.  “Mary Seacole!  Virgil, you’re the best.”

“I try.”  Virgil grins.

--

Remus likes the idea of doing the unrated nurse from the crimean war and so they quickly get to work.

And they quickly get distracted from work, too, because it seems impossible for Remus to keep his mind on any one thing.  At first it’s… well, Patton doesn’t like it.  He just wants to get this project done and over with.

But then Remus wears him down.

“I’m just saying, names influence who we are in like.  I mean, just look at Ms Maricolt!  She looks like a horse!”  Remus says at some point near the end of the second day and Patton really, really doesn’t mean to laugh because it’s Remus and the joke is a little mean.  But it’s also a pun, and Patton has a soft spot for puns.

“That’s mean.”  He says once he’s collected himself, if only out of principle.

“But it got you to laugh!”  Remus grins.  “And to look at me.”  He adds.  

Oh, Patton realizes as he quickly looks away again.  He hadn’t noticed he hadn’t looked at Remus.

“Aw, no, don’t look away again I like your eyes!  They’re really eye-inspiring.”  The pun is bad, really bad, but Patton still chuckles.

“That was terrible.”  He complains.

“Are you remus-manding.”  Remus continues, grinning.

“Oh my gosh.”  Patton laughs.  “They’re getting worse!”

“Aw, don’t be like that.  I think I’m Patt-on the right direction.”  Remus says.

“I Seacole what you’re doing here, it’s bad.”  Patton returns, laughing at Remus’ gasp.

“Oh it is on goth-boy.”  He decides.  They don’t do any more studying that day, distracted by their pun-off.

--

“So are we meeting up again tomorrow?”  Patton asks the next day as they back up.

“Can’t do tomorrow, I’ve got training.”  Remus shakes his head.  

“Oh, right.”  Patton says.  

“You could come if you want.”  Remus suggests. 

“I don’t think that’s really my crowd.”  Patton mumbles.  He can just picture it now, Patton sitting in his black attire, the only colour his blue hair, while the popular kids are right there.  Definitely within name calling distance.  

Nevermind what Virgil would think.  God, Patton doesn’t even want to imagine how bad his best friend would be.

“You’ll fit in just fine!”  Remus claims.  “Or, maybe not.  But I’ll make sure everyone leaves you alone.”  

“I think Virgil and I were heading out anyway.”  Patton says and then immediately regrets it as a frown takes over Remus’ face.  Like he’s tasted a lemon or something else unpleasant.  Oh no, now Remus was going to hate him.  Maybe he’ll tell Virgil he and Patton were almost-friends and then Virgil will hate him too and Patton will go back to being the friendless loser all over again. 

“Sorry.”  Remus’ voice cuts through his panic, making Patton look up.

“Huh?”  Patton frowns, confused.

“You looked like you were freaking out a bit.”  Remus says.  “I didn’t mean to stress you out.  Virgil and I just don’t get on.  Bad breakup and all that, but that’s on us not you.”

“Oh.”  Patton says, though he can’t say anything Remus just said commuted just now.

“Hey!  Pass me your phone, I’ll put my number in so we can study on the weekend.”  Remus decides, changing the subject before Patton can catch up.  Patton does what he’s told and soon he has a new number in his phone labeled ‘Hot Jock’.  “Alright, I’ll see you then.”

“Okay.”  Patton says.  “Um, bye.”

--

The project lasts two weeks and in those two weeks Patton and Remus chat.  A lot.  They talk during their study sessions, they text each other all the time, Remus even gives him a wave when they pass each other in the hall.

It’s official, they aren’t ‘almost friends’ they’re friends.  In fact Patton… Patton will admit that he might want to be more than that.

Which means Virgil’s definitely going to hate him.

The thought bubbles in his stomach the day after they hand in the assignment.  When Patton has no more excuse for messaging Remus, and yet he doesn’t stop.  How is he meant to explain that to Virgil?

Worse yet are the messages he gets that night, when they should both be asleep.

Want to go out this weekend?

On a date

A romantic date

Patton’s half way through answering ‘yes’ when he stops.

He can’t say yes.  Isn’t there some kind of code against dating exes?  Patton can’t say yes.

Except he super wants to.  Very, very wants to.

Maybe, he thinks, maybe he should ask Virgil first.  Then there’ll be no bad blood, right?  

Patton hopes so.

As for the message to Remus, he doesn’t answer.

--

Virgil and Patton always walk to school together.  They’ve just hit their school’s street when Virgil sighs and stops.

“Okay.”  He says.  “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?”  Patton squeaks.  “Nothings wrong!”

“Patton, I know you better than that.”  Virgil rolls his eyes, crossing his arms.  “Just tell me what’s up.”

“Well…” Patton starts slowly then, with a deep breath, he tries to say it all at once.  “You know how Remus and I were doing that project?  Well we sort of maybe got along and we’re kind of maybe friends, and he asked me out last night.  Like out, out.  And I want to say yes but I know you don’t like him and I don’t want to lose you as a friend, so can I say yes?”

For a moment Virgil just blinks at him, brain trying to commute the word vomit Patton just unleashed.

“Okay,” he finally starts, “let me get this right.  You and Remus are friends, and he asked you out on a date, and you want to say yes but only if I’m okay with it because you don’t want me to be mad you’re dating him?”  He rephrases.  Patton nods.  “Patton, of course you can say yes.”

“You don’t mind?”  Patton checks.

“Not at all.  If you like him, go for it.  We’ll still be friends, I promise.”  Virgil says and Patton feels his shoulders slump a little.

“But didn’t you two date?  Won’t it be weird?”  He asks.

“What?!”  Virgil frowns.  “Remus and I never dated!”

“What?”  Patton frowns right back.  Hadn’t Remus said something about a ‘bad breakup’ the other day?

“We used to be friends, us and Dante.  I dated Dante, and when we broke up the friend joke kind of fell apart.”  Virgil explains.

“Dante?”  Patton repeats.  “The school captain?  I didn’t think he was your type.”  

“He’s not.”  Virgil confirms.  “I just found that out the hard way.”

“Oh, so you haven’t dated Remus and you really don’t mind if I do?”  Patton repeats, just to clarify.

“Patton, even if you dated Dante I’d still be your friend.”  Virgil assures.  “The important thing is that you're happy.”  Patton doesn’t mean to start crying but well, it’s just so nice to hear that.  Especially after the stress of the past couple weeks.  “There, there.  You’ll wreck your make-up.”  Virgil says, even as he pulls Patton in for a hug.

As soon as Patton’s reapplied, he tells Remus he’d love to go on a date.

--

They go ice-skating.  Patton’s a little nervous, because he’s never gone before, but Remus goes all the time so he’s happy to teach.

“Patton, I’m wearing knife shoes.  This is literally my favourite thing.  Except you.”  Remus says, grinning when Patton’s face goes bright red.  They exhaust themselves over the next few hours, skating together and just… enjoying their time.  It’s the most fun Patton’s had in a while.

And when it’s over, and Remus has walked him home, he gets a soft kiss (that quickly turns heavy) to remember it by.

[myhahnestopinion]

THE AARONS 2019 - Best TV Episode

A lot of streaming services are switching over to a more traditional weekly release of episodes instead of dumping a whole season all at once. It may be because they, like me, want to highlight the unique achievements of singular episodes. It could also be that they don’t want people, like me, signing up for free trials to binge watch one show and then cancelling before they are billed anything... Here are the Aarons for Best TV Episode:

#10. “Chapter Fifty-One: Big Fun” (Riverdale, Season 3, Episode 16)

Chapter Fifty-One of Riverdale is quite aptly named. With a talented young cast on hand, Riverdale often indulges in music numbers, but their full-blown musical episodes still manage to stand out. Incorporating songs from the Broadway adaptation of Heathers, Riverdale uses the famous high-school satire as a meta-criticism of its own ever-growing ridiculousness. The characters give a fervent lament of their inability to be just regular high school students, but, in the end, are forced to confront their status as mere players on a stage and puppets of a ravenous following. Riverdale is often quite fun; how much more can it do for our amusement?

#9. “Striking Vipers” (Black Mirror, Season 5, Episode 1)

Though it made its name in pessimistic twist of fortune, Black Mirror has been best when indulging in affectionate tales. In its fifth season premiere, what begins as two friends testing out a near-future fighting video game swiftly and surprisingly switches gears into a sweet story of longing and vulnerability. The episode chooses not to map its relationship onto any existing conceptions of sexuality and gender, suggesting ways in which they may continue to evolve alongside new technology. Though there are hints on darkness on its edges, the episode is one of the heart-warming tales that have always been the series’ most striking.

#8. “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms” (Game of Thrones, Season 8, Episode 2)

The second episode of Game of Thrones’ final season was the calm before the storm in more ways than realized at the time. As its characters brace for their imminent battle against an undead horde with a night of quiet companionship, the show produced its last great moments before being swallowed by backlash to its rushed and illogical ending. Unlike the show after that point, the episode does right by its characters, building off their storied histories and delivering earned and endearing pay-offs to several relationships. “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms” forges the last vestige of good in its world; it would have been wise to say ‘good night’ afterward.

#7. “The Trial” (What We Do in The Shadows, Season 1, Episode 7)

The What We Do in The Shadows franchise has conjured a lot of comedy from the long legacy of vampire tropes; in the seventh episode of the new TV iteration, it put the spotlight on the various actors who made up that legacy. As our regular characters arrive for their criminal trial, the show lines up an impressive amount of guest stars, including, but not limited to, Tilda Swinton, Evan Rachel Wood, Wesley Snipes, and the trio from the original What We Do in The Shadows movie. The show doesn’t just use these stars to hang upside down on its laurels though; it’s plump with jokes certain to stir the blood. It’s a very large gathering of vampires, and it doesn’t suck one bit.

#6. “Replay” (The Twilight Zone, Season 1, Episode 3)

Jordan Peele was a promising voice to head up the new incarnation of The Twilight Zone, but the insightful, livid spark of his film projects seemed to get lost along the way for most of the season. “Replay”, though, was one that managed to replicate it. Like the best of the franchise, the situations are supernormal, but the anxieties are very real: a mother discovers a video camera that can rewind time, but still finds herself unable to protect her son from a prejudiced cop hunting them down. The fear of powerlessness is all too palpable; though a fantastic episode that’s worth a watch, it would be hard to sit through again.

#5. “Danny Patrol” (Doom Patrol, Season 1, Episode 8)

The company’s new streaming service has likely doomed Legends of Tomorrow from ever being able to reclaim its title as weirdest DC television series ever. Taking inspiration from writer Grant Morrison’s run in the comics, Doom Patrol is pure absurdity. In episode 8, the team’s quest to find their kidnapped leader brings them into the path of Danny, a sentient genderqueer teleporting street (Yes, like the streets you drive on. This one has thoughts and feelings and can teleport). This odd premise paves the way for the show to reemphasize its core message of learning to love one’s self. The episode most affecting moment is its big karaoke celebration of this idea from Matt Bomer’s Negative Man; the streets are alive with the sound of music. 

#4. “A Quick One, While He’s Away” (BoJack Horseman, Season 6, Episode 8)

The first half of BoJack Horseman’s final season spent a lot of time saddling up its characters to ride off into the sunset… and one episode indicating they won’t get off that easy. The show has frequently experimented with new storytelling tactics, but it has never felt as purposeful as this one, which focuses exclusively on three ancillary characters from the show’s run. The show effortless transplants its engrossing conflicts and noted animal puns to the new trio, but the tragedy at play is knowing, without it being explicitly stated, that we are witnessing BoJack’s worst actions still reverberating in the lives of others. As the show prepares its definitive statement on the series-long question of whether BoJack can find happiness, the toughest answer to acknowledge is that we’ve been backing the wrong horse.

#3. “407 Proxy Authentication Required” (Mr. Robot, Season 4, Episode 7)

While its long-gestating final confrontation against the manipulators of the world economy wouldn’t be for another handful of episodes, “407 Proxy Authentication Required” was the one that finally brought balance to the world of Mr. Robot. Pairing down its characters and sets and stabilizing the series’ deliberately off-kilter cinematography, the episode unfolds as an intimate five act play, slowly preparing Elliot and the audience for a heart-wrenching revelation. It’s a brutal, but ultimately cathartic bit of television, and the finest hour the show has produced. The series rips all its long-standing proxies away, leaving the viewer no choice but to engage with its raw pain and hope for healing.

#2. “I’m In Love” (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Season 4, Episode 17)    

After an improbable four season run, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend gave its final bow in 2019, but the show had one last dramatic turn before exiting stage left for good. Having held herself responsible for her actions and addressed her underlying issues, the series finale, in which she is torn between three equally meaningful romantic interests, sees Rebecca Bunch thoroughly and healthily in love. In its final twist, the episode’s title proves as much of a misnomer as the series’ has been all along. Subversive, stirring, and sidesplitting to its very last breath, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s impeccable eleven o’clock number sent the series off on a high note.

AND THE BEST TV EPISODE OF 2019 IS...

#1. “This Extraordinary Being” (Watchmen, Season 1, Episode 6)

Masks as a method to hide trauma was a prominent theme of the Watchmen comic; the TV show sequel added a few interesting wrinkles to the idea. In its boldest reinvention of the source material, the episode presents an interpretive origin story of the mysterious comic character Hooded Justice through the eyes of his descendant, laying bare the show’s anxieties of inter-generational trauma. Just as the comic toyed with the composition of its medium, the episode also engages with its own make-up. It illustrates the visual arts’ power to either further the erasure or promote the healing of such lingering pain. As a singular piece of television, comprised as it is with standout guest actors and impressive technical qualities, it’s a great use of the artform; placed within the context of its historic inspirations on- and off- the page, it’s something truly extraordinary. 

NEXT UP: THE 2019 AARON FOR BEST TV PERFORMANCE!

[tokupedia]

Japan World Heroes II Day One Part 3: Double Reds and Hollywood Kaiju Men

Unfortunately, most of my photos of the Double Red panel were either blurry or unable to be loaded and had to be deleted as corrupted files. They suffered the same fate as the time I encountered the beautiful Cadillac Sixteen concept car at the Pittsburgh Auto Show years ago, a digital memory slain by flawed tech. 

I still remember it sitting majestically on a black marble pedestal with soft running water surrounding it, its massive V16 1,000 HP engine purring like a panthress. All the while envious of the guy who got to drive it up to its elegant stone display. But as they say online: pics or it didn’t happen. (even if it did). Sorry, just went on a tangent. Back onto it...

Nevertheless, it was a lighter panel in details than the others from having two guests at the same time (Mr. Sainei and Mr. McLaren). Mr. McLaren (Jack aka SPD Red), stated he was surprised by how DekaPink would take baths when watching a few episodes of Dekaranger in preparation for his role, something like that would never work in the USA. Both of them talked about Koichi Sakamoto briefly and how influential he is on both sides of the Pacific in toku media. They then did a discussion of the Japanese dub of Power Rangers SPD. Mr. Sainei said that he admired Mr. McLaren’s dreadlocks, which was a non existent hairstyle among the Japanese until SPD came along according to him and has since gained small popularity among eastern Sentai fans (that certainly explains Leo in Zyuohger). 

Mr. Sainei says he has the dub of SPD to thank for how Ban is portrayed post-series, as he made his character more calm and mature after doing Jack’s dub voice and finding it was also more reserved and calm than Ban was. Ban’s character is meant to be an upstanding police officer first and a superhero second, using the law to uphold the peace and act on instinct. He also confirmed that any Deka vs. Sentai films are alternate realities that do not fit the Dekaranger or Super Sentai show canon. 

Mr. Sainei said he first got into Super Sentai with Changeman as a child, though he admitted he wanted to grow up to be a pro wrestler when he was a kid. 

Mr. McLaren initially turned down the role of Jack twice so he could star on an ABC show called The Date. The network hated the show and it was doomed from the start, so finally Mr. McLaren accepted the role of a Red Ranger in a Disney backed Power Rangers show. 

Mr. Sainei revealed that to this day in Japanese fan polls, Dekaranger is second only to Shinkenger in terms of popular Heisei Super Sentai shows. This is why the show gets spinoffs long past its original airing such as the Space Squad movies. He also confirmed there are no new Space Squad projects planned at this time or ever unless Toei says otherwise in the future. Mr. McLaren said his agent hasn’t contacted him about the Battle for the Grid video game when asked if he would be in it and if he hasn’t heard of it, he isn’t in it. Mr. McLaren ended the panel by saying that Power Rangers was challenging to work on as you had to build a relationship with the cast over a year and Ryuji Sainei agreed that is the hardest part, especially when starting out.

We got to see Ryuji do his DekaRed morph, but Mr. McLaren left as he had to get back to Hollywood for work.

Up next were the suit stars of the recent Godzilla: King of the Monsters film. I am ashamed to admit I faded in and out during this one from hunger (mmmm...In-N-Out). 

T.J. Storm was so much of a G-Fan that it resonated from the room. Despite the film’s critical failure, he knows true Godzilla fans loved it from talking to them and that is all that matters to him as he doesn’t care what others think. And he joked that Godzilla loves to take long naps until he’s needed (can’t say I blame the King, he’s almost 70.) 

T.J also said that he doesn’t do his role “professionally”, you are basically a man trying to be a kid again and pretending to be a city crushing dinosaur for fun, that is why he loves his job. He, Richard Dorton, Alan Maxson, and Jason Liles then briefly demonstrated what its like to do motion capture without the suits, with the normally sweet and friendly Mr. Storm getting into character and letting out a terrifying growl and roar.

T.J. also revealed what I posted earlier about his roles and a bit more, he was Rocket Racoon! Apparently he stopped working for Marvel when they refused to credit him for their projects. He and the others are loyal to Legendary Godzilla for their director of the recent film, who demanded the studio give his mo-cap workers credit and they did eventually get it. So happy endings there. They are also working for Netflix, because again, they are actually credited for their work and treated fairly. 

T.J. then told the audience he is an advocate for mo-cap suit actors such as himself and the great Andy Serkis and stuntmen to be recognized at the Oscars, as elites often ignore their efforts for arthouse films in an era where superhero films and action movies are keeping Hollywood afloat financially in terms of the market share of cinema. I asked Mr. Storm how it felt to be part of a 65 year legacy and to follow in the footsteps of people like Haruo Nakajima.

He said he was humbled by it, and he feels he can never fully fill in Nakajima-san’s shoes, but he will always do his best for the fans. He has been a Godzilla and kaiju fan since he was 4 years old when his father took him to the movies to see Godzilla vs Hedorah (Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster), so becoming a thing from his childhood means the world to him. 

Sent my mother home after that when she asked for an Uber taxi as she was bored and hungry. I was a bit peckish myself, but endured for the next panel.

[cath-with-a-c]

When there really was no other way - a different father-son dynamic in AC (rant)

This is a continuation of my other post, focusing a lot on the relationship between William and Desmond, where I talked about the abusive behavior, and how it seems to be lowkey condoned in a lot of media. Warning - this post is super long

One of the most popular defenses when it comes to parental abuse is the idea that “there was no other way”, that in order for the child to benefit in the long run you have to hurt them now. The real-world example would be medical procedures and certain types of physical therapy, that hurt no matter how gently you go about them, but they are important to the child’s well-being and/or survival.  In fiction, particularly in fantasy/sci-fi, it’s usually some type of training or skill, that has to be acquired in limited time, or ability, that can only be unlocked under pressure, that a child needs to survive because the world is more dangerous than ours.

While there are situations where this is plausible and works, still not excusing the fact of the abuse but making the person committing it less disgusting. the idea of “there was no other way” gets grossly misused. And, when William’s behavior towards Desmond is being shoehorned in that category, I get mad, because no, William is just abusive. What’s more, there IS a father-son relationship in AC-universe (albeit in the comic), that does fall under “there was no other way”. 

I’m talking about Nikolai Orlov and his son Kenya, Daniel Cross’ ancestors as portrayed by comic “Assassin’s Creed - The Chain”.   In 1926, Nikolai and Kenya live off the grid somewhere in the US, hiding form both Assassins and Templars. At one point in the comic, an 8-year-old Kenya is made to sleep outside as a punishment during winter until he manages to do his father’s bidding.

If we take the situation without context, it is a clear picture of parental abuse. However, I can name a few reasons, accurately presented in the comic, that make it “there was no other way” situation and why the same points don’t work for William and Desmond. The list of 5 (-ish) reasons is as follows: #0 - Do we know them? This is not an actual reason, that’s why it’s at #0, but it’s a good foundation - for us, Nikolai isn’t a new character, we are not introduced to him making his 8yo son sleep outside. There already was a 3-issue comic, that gave us an insight on his character and values, we have an opinion on him. 

William, on the other hand, gets an introduction by being an asshole to others and showing no normal human emotion in the face if his son being in a coma and his protege’s death. Granted, I’m not sure if the Ubisoft tried to make his connection to Des a surprise, but his first full introduction at the start of AC3 when we already know he is the father is... actually the same - him being an asshole.

#1 - An established good parent One of the main reasons why for me the comic situation is more plausible is that Nikolai is established as a good parent by the narrative. He and Kenya live off the grid, all alone, away from people, he has no one to impress by being a socially adequate parent. However, his behavior toward Kenya is undoubtedly supportive and loving.  The comic starts with the father and son hunting and Kenya being a soft-hearted kid, being unable to shoot the already wounded doe.  Nikolai’s reaction? He tries to cheer his son up, by joking that next time they can hunt fenceposts. He doesn’t show any disappointment or anger, he doesn’t belittle Kenya for failing him. From their interactions, we get the sense that Nikolai, while very jaded by everything that happened to him, tries his best to be a good father to his only son. 

This is important because the “no other way” scenario only works if it’s not the norm, If the abuse is limited to that particular situation and not all-encompassing. 

William, once again, isn’t shown to be even somewhat good parent, at least not objectively, like Nikolai. The only moment when Bill is objectively not terrible comes in AC: Revelations when he talks about how Desmond killed Lucy, and he got to train both of them and it’s sad. It’s a simple dialog line, with an appropriately soft tone of voice (also a side note - gotta give it to the voice actor - he fucking nails the arrogant asshole voice, I literally get hives), and the way it’s so unlike Bill is lampshaded by Shaun, asking him if he’s gone soft. Every other instance of Bill being not terrible comes from Desmond whose perception is skewed by the impending doom. That’s why the attempt to establish something similar to comic in AC4, in the audio file n3, doesn’t work - it’s from Desmond’s perspective, it’s not objective. 

#2 - No time to waste (or literally any other external constraint) When the “no other way” scenario is used right, there are constraints in place, that lead to parent turning to abuse as the last resort. In fiction, it’s usually a lack of time to train or acquire the skill properly.

In the comic, the abuse comes after another assassin, Sergei, finds Nikolai and threatens Kenya’s life. Realizing, that soon there will be more people coming through and that he is a bit too old to properly protect his son (he has to be at around 60-70 at the time), Nikolai resorts to speed-training Kenya how to ambush and kill, using himself as target and bait.  It’s, honestly, brutal and heartbreaking, watching a sweet, soft kid gradually losing his humanity in order to do his father’s bidding. And even more so when you realize, that before that Nikolai was willing to take his son’s education in this particular area as slow as he could - and now that opportunity is gone, because the enemy could come knocking on their door any day (another side note - I actually believe that sleeping outside was not only a punishment and incentive but also done so that if the attack happen, the kid had better chance at getting out). 

One could argue, that the time crunch existed in William’s and Desmond’s case too, and that one would be wrong. We are actually shown, how the pre-Daniel Cross assassin communities looked like - mostly in passing, but one of them is shown inside and out. In previous comic, the Fall, Daniel ends up in one of the assassin compounds. It’s large enough that the people living there don’t necessarily know everyone else who lives there (that’s why at first they believed Daniel was from there), it’s located close enough to the city that no one bats an eye on someone sneaking out to get drunk unless they get so pissed they start mistaking civilians for Templars. The general vibe the compound leaves is akin to Xavier’s school from X-men. Those assassin’s don’t look like they are on the verge of running, they look like equal players, just not as public as Templars. And at the same time, out there in the Black Hills, 11-year-old Desmond is going through training from hell while unable to ever leave the compound and already losing any belief in the cause.

What’s interesting is that time crunch could be applied to Desmond’s upbringing, if he was made younger - 21 instead of 25, or if the Daniel’s Purge was moved from 2000 to 1996. That would create a situation where most of the Brotherhood is gone, the Farm is one of the last communes left standing, and they have to suddenly up Desmond’s training, while he’s around 9 years old, and probably yet to realize what happened and why.  

#3 - Tangible threat Segwaying from #2, the threat is another thing that makes “no other way” situation work. Usually, the threat is what creates constraints for training, while also fueling the parent’s want to give the child a survival chance, and that overrides their morals. 

In the comic, the threat is tangible and undeniable to both Nikolai and Kenya - they’ve already been attacked, and there are more people to come.

In the games, while the threat is real, it’s not immediate. Moreover, it never becomes more than a boogieman to Desmond, because there’s no evidence given, just war stories (yet another side note - in one of @esamastation‘s works, sometime yesterday, there was a very interesting take on why the education on the Farm was built as it was. Check it out, it’s far better than anything I could ever write). Desmond isn’t dumb, I highly doubt he’d miss something like an active attack, or the fact that some adults go away from the Farm and never come back for no reason. So it means that objectively Desmond was safe all along - moreover when he’d run away, it took Templars nine years to find him. The threat was never as close as it would need to be to warrant abuse.

#4 - Limits For the “no other way” scenario to work, the abuse should not be something the parent usually does, and that means, amongst other things, that it’s supposed to be limited to a specific instance.

In the comic, the abuse is limited to Nikolai having a specific goal in mind - for Kenya to learn how to ambush and kill without hesitation; when the goal is achieved? The abuse stops immediately. As soon as Kenya proves that he is ready to defend himself from anyone, Nikolai stops him and embraces him, reassuring the kid. 

In Bill’s and Desmond’s case... well, let me just quote Desmond himself on this: “What scared me was the training. Sweat, tears, bloody lip every once in a while. How far were they going to push me? I couldn't stand it! What was the point? For years and years I thought some major catastrophe was on the horizon. I didn't know what to expect. “ (c) Desmond’s Journey - Training. I’m not gonna even comment on this.

#5 - Payoff Last but not least - if there is no other way, then it has to mean something, contribute to the story at large. The abuse becomes a setup - and needs a payoff

In Kenya’s case, the harsh training he received was pivotal to his survival. His ambushing skill helped him get the attackers into a trap, and in the end, he mercy-killed his father and the last attacker in one shot an managed to escape. If there was no training, he would’ve been a liability and ended up dead.

However, in Desmond’s case you could actually delete the abuse part altogether, make Bill a harsh, but not abusive father and nothing would change to Desmond’s arc. The abuse wasn’t the reason he’d run away - the reason was his lack of belief in a cause and his want to see the world. His arc was about embracing his identity as an Assassin - and you still could have this internal conflict without the abuse part. His external conflict with Bill also didn’t need abuse to back it up - they have dissonant values. Even the training doesn’t factor in - Desmond gets re-trained using the Animus. There is no payoff

In conclusion, while parental abuse is inexcusable, there are ways to portray it in a manner that wouldn’t have your audience lining up to kill the parent. But in the end, it’s still important to understand, that even the abuse that comes from a place of love and out of genuine necessity (and not just justified in this way) can still fuck the victim over and they don’t have to forgive the parent. It just makes the parent not a total scumbag. (thanks for sticking with me till the end)

[justincaseitmatters]

Rewind: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Dr. Strangelove after 50 Years

Originally Published in KCActive.com in January 2014. On January 29, 1964, the world discovered something that Bronx-born director Stanley Kubrick had known for a few years: that the only appropriate reaction to the arms race was a dirty joke. In the five decades that have passed since then, countries that once frightened the world have fallen, alliances and rivalries have reversed, technologies have changed and Kubrick's Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb has become more enlightening, infuriating and, yes, hilarious with time. The Chess Master I almost feel sorry for anyone who is forced to discover this movie in a manner that's different from the way I did at age 11. For some reason, Kansas City's KCMO (now KCTV) broadcast the movie for a 10:30 p.m. showing, probably on a Saturday night. My mother, my younger brother and I congregated around the used black-and-white TV in my bedroom, knowing only that the film in question starred our favorite comedian Peter Sellers, from the Pink Panther movies, and that it might be important because the local paper said it was.   I was delighted that my bedroom had turned into a mini-theater and that we wouldn't miss any beautiful color images. Gilbert Taylor's cinematography and Ken Adam's grand sets look just fine in monochrome. Other than the fact that the movie was in black-and-white, we knew nothing about the assault that was coming our way. For most adult viewers, Dr. Strangelove states its devilishly comic intents up front. The movie's notorious opening credits by Pablo Ferro feature a phallic arm fueling a plane in mid-air as a soft instrumental track of "Try a Little Tenderness" plays in the background. As the geeky son of a Baptist deacon, these amorous aircraft completely escaped my notice.

My mother curiously remained silent, but soon the three of us were so thoroughly entertained that we stopped caring that Kubrick and co-screenwriter Terry Southern (the mind behind the kinky novels Candy, Blue Movie and The Magic Christian) were about to turn all three of us into "deviated pre-verts."

It's not surprising to learn that Kubrick once hustled chess in New York as a young man because he reveals his comic intentions gradually. During the the run up to General Jack D. Ripper's unauthorized nuclear assault upon the Soviet Union, my family and and I thought we were watching a straight nuclear war drama. It wasn't until General Ripper made the following declaration at 24 minutes into the film that we discovered that Kubrick was taking the movie into a direction all his own:

I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Hearing deep-voiced actor Sterling Hayden utter the word "fluids" without a hint of levity in his voice sent all three of us into hysterics. From here on we knew something was up and that the footage we saw previously was laced with comic venom. We finally noticed Ripper's name and that the pilot of one of Ripper's B52s is Maj. T.J. "King" Kong (played by former rodeo clown Slim Pickens). All Too Real Dr. Strangelove is loaded with characters afflicted with gag names, and sometimes these absurd monikers aren't obvious on an initial viewing. The Soviet Ambassador is Alexi Desadesky (British actor Peter Bull), the President of the United States is Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers), and his top strategist is a former Nazi known as Dr. Strangelove (Sellers, again). While Kubrick and Southern came up with a cornucopia of silly names with sexual connotations, the scenario in Dr. Strangelove is uncomfortably realistic. As more information from the Cold War has become publicly available, the scenario Kubrick, Southern and a Welsh Royal Air Force officer Peter George (from George's 1958 novel Two Hours to Doom a.k.a. Red Alert) cooked up was far from outlandish. Throughout history wars have been started for causes as inexplicable as fluids and water fluoridation, which General Ripper believes has made him impotent. Mental illness and just plain foolishness can strike at anytime  At the beginning of Dr. Strangelove, a disclaimer informs the viewers that the U.S. Air Force has safeguards to prevent the deadly events in the film from occurring. Not really. Around the time that George was writing his thriller about facing nuclear annihilation, Daniel Ellsberg, the future leaker of The Pentagon Papers, discovered that Washington's policy toward who could launch a nuclear attack and when was a mess. In theory, only the president had authorization. Ellsberg, a recent Harvard PhD grad from  working for the RAND Corporation, recalled in his 2002 book Secrets: A Memoir of Vietnam and the Pentagon Papers:

I learned, for example, the secret that contrary to all public declarations, President Eisenhower had delegated to major theater commanders the authority to initial nuclear attacks under certain circumstances, such as outage of communications with Washington--an almost daily occurrence in those days--or presidential incapacitation   (twice suffered by President Eisenhower). This delegation was unknown to President Kennedy's assistant for national security, McGeorge Bundy--and thus to the president--in early 1961, when I briefed him on the issue. 

In other words, Gen. Ripper and his ilk had already been given a sort of green light. On both sides of the Iron Curtain, only whims of fate seem to have prevented nuclear first strikes. According to David E. Hoffman's The Dead Hand: The Untold Story of the Cold War Arms Race and its Dangerous Legacy, on September 26, 1983, Soviet Lt. Col. Stanislav Petrov received a warning on his instruments informing him the Americans had launched a missile strike on his country. His satellites told him that five missiles were on their way to Mother Russia, but there were no visual sightings to match the alarms wailing at his base. Working simply on instinct, he correctly informed his superiors that no attack was taking place and that the warning system was malfunctioning. It's a good thing he did. Doing so prevented an unprovoked Soviet first strike. Petrov's hunch saved countless lives. Sadly, he had only minutes or seconds to make his fateful decision. The Killing Joke Unfortunately, decisions like Petrov's were all too often made at the last minute and in a state of panic. This is one of the reasons Dr. Strangelove is so entertaining and why satire might be a more effective way to point out the horrors of nuclear war. George's novel is a dark thriller, and Kubrick and George initially set out to make a straightforward adaptation of the book. During pre-production, however, Kubrick noticed that some of the situations described in the book, like the President informing the Soviets how to shoot down his own planes, seemed weirdly comic. George was disappointed by Kubrick's change of heart but later wrote a novelization of the film that even included gags that Kubrick didn't film or eventually cut from the movie (like a coda where space aliens wonder how the planet they've discovered called Earth is now a radioactive graveyard). George's later writing focused on the grim potential of nuclear weapons. Sadly, his concern for the subject may have been a factor when he chose to kill himself in 1966. Strangely, in the finished movie, the humor seems to emphasize how fragile a world with nuclear weapons really is. When word of Gen. Ripper's assault reaches the Pentagon, the news arrives, not to a commander ready to deal with the crisis, but to Gen. Buck Turgidson (George C. Scott) cavorting with his bikini-clad mistress (Tracy Reed). Actually, he's in the bathroom when the urgent call comes. 

Similarly, the Soviet Premier Dimitri Kissoff (who, curiously, is never seen or heard in the film) is not at his office in the Kremlin toiling to make his nation a worker's paradise. So where is he when the Soviets need his attention the most? "You would never reached him at that number," says Ambassador Desadesky. "Our Premier is a man of the people, but he is also a man, if you follow my meaning." 

I should probably add that he's also drunk. Disasters, whether natural or man made, rarely happen at moments that are convenient for us mortals. Kubrick and Southern spent a great amount of time figuring out where leaders might be and wondered what they might eat or drink during the crisis. That explains the improvised buffet table in the Pentagon's War Room. They also knew that leaders are human beings and that they are as prone to mistakes and panicking as anyone else. In most of the dramas that preceded or followed Dr. Strangelove, world leaders appear as conscientious or calm despite the heavy stakes involved. President Muffley, however, is understandably nervous and awkward in explaining the crisis to Premier Kissoff. Sellers improvised much of his dialogue, and the call between the two leaders is hysterically funny because it's impossible to think of a polite or an effective way to relay the grim message at hand.

Kubrick's willingness to embrace panic eventually influenced more mainstream nuclear thrillers. In an interview I conducted with director Phil Alden Robinson for NitrateOnline.com over his 2002 adaptation of the late Tom Clancy's The Sum of All Fears, he readily acknowledged how Kubrick's comedy affected his own, more serious movie:

Kubrick is the best who ever lived. I have to believe that's what goes on behind closed doors. Once in a while, the President's emotions must get the best of him. Clancy once said, "If you put the leaders of a country in a room and tell them the decisions they make might lead to blowing up the world, only a sociopath would not have an emotional reaction." The most reasonable people in the world, by virtue of their reason, are going to be emotional and distraught and kind of at wit's end at some point.

Why I Still Love the Bomb As I've grown older Dr. Strangelove has become less of a movie to more and more of an old friend. Yes, it's odd that this cynical, fatalistic movie has such a fond spot in my heart. It's no spoiler to reveal that all of the human machinations in the movie fail to stop a nuclear Armageddon. It's also hard to think of a more clever or even nourishing film. Every time I come back to I learn new things. I spot gags that I missed when I saw the movie earlier. Kubrick consulted over 50 books during the making of Dr. Strangelove, and his attention to detail only shows up on repeated viewings. A friend of mine politely told me that Kubrick's movies like Lolita, A Clockwork Orange and 2001: A Space Odyssey are an acquired taste, but those of us who have   picked up an appetite continuously love coming back to his films, waiting for new treasures hidden in their frames. One aspect that does hit me from watching the movie again and again is that Kubrick, contrary to what his detractors have contended, actually could create sympathetic and completely human characters. Kubrick skillfully manipulates the audience into liking the crew on Maj. Kong's B52. When a Russian missile stalks the plane, Kubrick wants viewers to feel for the crew. Unlike their commander, Gen. Ripper, their intents are not tainted by his madness. For the sake of the story, it would be best if the missile sent them to a fiery grave. Nonetheless, watching the crew trying to stay in the air is nail biting. Unlike his make believe characters, Kubrick understands that real people are the casualties of war. Gen. Turgidson is little better than Gen. Ripper because he has no sense of proportion or consequence. He suggests that proceeding with Gen. Ripper's strike would be worth it, even if millions die. "I didn't say we wouldn't get our hair mussed," he says. Curiously, time has actually made Dr. Strangelove funnier. When I've discussed the movie with younger people, they've told me that the reasons we and the Soviets looked at each other with dread now seem remote and ridiculous. They're fully aware that the world is still a dangerous place, but they understandably think that fluoridation is not good reason to risk the lives of troops. Kubrick was only 32 when he made Dr. Strangelove, but he wound up making something that continues to enrich our lives long after his death in 1999. Through his love song to the bomb, he's revealed how far we as human beings have to grow to become responsible stewards of the technology we have. It's doubtful he could have conveyed this message so eloquently with a straight face.  

[praphit]

Batman, Cults, and me in Red Latex

Getting back to my roots of writing here! No movie to speak of; just pure rambling!

I started writing way back in the MySpace days. I'd get insomnia, and so stay up and ramble about stuff while drinking rum - which in retrospect is prob a lil reckless:) I found that was the way to go for me - maybe that could be the way for some  of you as well, if you ever struggle with such a thing. 

Writing and rum, baby! 

And if you're under the legal drinking age, just tell your parents that the praphit says it's ok. 

And if the police somehow get involved, tell them... 

Nah, wait, don't mention me... say some random, rambling, black dude said it was ok. And if they ask "Was this "random black dude" the rambling praphit on Tumblr, tell them "Noooooo, he actaully said to... NEVER DRINK... EVER. And that you officers are doing an ok job out there."

Writing and rum!

It works!

Like I said, I don't have a movie this time around; I'm not even sure how I started writing about movies.

I guess I could have gone with "The Lion King"

Which btw can we talk about this scam Disney is running? - telling the same story in a live-action package. And with this one it's still animated; it's not like it's done like one of those "Planet Earth" type shows - THAT would be interesting. I remember watching a clip of a lion eating a zebra, while the zebra was STILL ALIVE! The zebra wasn't even fighting back or crying out anymore... it had totally given up, as if the lion was devouring the zebra's soul and will to live with each juicy, bloody bite. Hey, Elton John, sing a song to that. #circleoflife

What if they followed real wild animals around in Africa, and watched the true circle of life. You could have the actors/team improvise the script depending on what's happening, and due voice-over. I feel like with real animals,  the "Hakuna Matata" scene might go differently.

I'm not shaming anyone for going and enjoying these movies. I had a plan to see "Aladdin", but somehow ended up seeing "Child's Play" instead 

(funniest movie I've seen all year btw). 

I might still go see Aladdin. BUT, it's still a scam. Toss in a lil controversy every now and then with the casting to inflate numbers... that mouse knows what he's doing. It's a good scam! What's next? - telling the same stories, but using puppets... sock puppets; that would be a new low.

But, somehow I feel like we'd still flock to the theatres. We love that Mouse!

I don't blame him. Kinda makes me want to run some type of scam within in music (my industry). What would be the music equivalent of what Disney is doing? I don't think that there is one. Anytime you change a song a lil bit, it's totally changed. 

If I decided to do a cover set of Miley Cyrus songs, exactly the same way that she did them, it would still be totally different. Btw, if I ever do that, please stop me. It'd be clearly a cry for help. Imagine if I started mimicking every vid she ever did as well - same choreography and outfit. 

Don't imagine that.

I guess artists put out remastered stuff sometimes, but I feel like those never sell.

...

...

Sorry, I'm distracted... still thinking about redoing Miley's vids.

I DO have a wig that matches what she has going on there (you don’t need to know why:) , and red sunglasses.

And how about me rockin some red latex??! Yeah! 

Nah, I wouldn���t do it. Only cuz I think that the chafing would be too intense, OR maybe I’ll like the way it looks and feels too much, and decide that’s simply going to be my regular look from now on... making everyone around me uncomfortable... with my intense sexiness. Don’t imagine that either; it may be too sexy from some:)

Ugh... is the fact that I'm even joking about it a cry for help?

The industry for an artist is the real scam. The music industry always wins. The game is rigged. That's why I've been thinking that we musicians should all go on strike. Everyone in music would have to be in on it though. 

Imagine your life with no music:

- no playlists (though that would have to involve some serious hacking, but imagine road trips without them) - no music in movies or shows - no sexy music to get into "the mood" - y'all would have to sing to each other -  Though I guess Aladdin and Jasmine got down like that, so y'all might be ok. New mating ritual.

- no background music anywhere you go (festivals, restaurants, strip clubs:) - we won't even sell any instruments NOTHING! Gotta go extreme sometimes to make people listen.

Maybe we'll toss people a song every now and then out of mercy. But, we'd only allow annoying songs - "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls

"My Humps" by BEP :)

It would take true power to make that happen.

I had thought about ruling the world once. I had a plan to take over the world; it was actually in motion. Yep! It would have worked too, cuz no one would have seen it coming. You would no longer call me your rambling praphit, but OVERLORD!

Like I said, no one would have seen it coming. 

Thanos... and whoever tried to dominate in Justice League in that movie. What was his name? Idk, no one cares, he was terrible. Those guys went too big. You've gotta Keyser Soze it! Play chess, not... Idk, professional wrestling.

I stopped my plans because I figured that I'd just get bored. I get bored easily. Ask anyone I work with - there are times when I'll just leave and go to the movies, or the mall, or the bar, or... on some sort of quest:) Sometimes, I'll dump a project all together cuz I'm simply not feeling it anymore.

Now, DESTROYING the world, THAT seems like it'd keep my attention. Don't worry, I wouldn't hurt the people... unless they stood in my way.

I'd make sure to ship them off to... Saturn or something... can we live on Saturn? Hmm... maybe I'll need to get help with that part of my plan. So, maybe I WILL still take over the world. Once I'm bored ruling after like a week, I'll get my man Elon Musk to ship y'all off to a planet safely, and then the fun begins!

I imagine that there'll be some resistance, though Idk why. Let's be honest, this planet is doomed anyway. We can fight about how and why, but... c'mon we all know it'll eventually burn out. So, just let me have my fun! I'll make sure that there's plenty of big screens wherever Elon sends you to for my big show:)

But, if people want to fight their first and last Awesome Master Overlord on it (I think the "Awesome Master" in the front is better, don't you?), then we can go.

You won't stand a chance though. I'll have all of the best action stars fighting by my side. That's right MY SIDE. They're used to winning; what you think they're gonna fight with you? Psssh, I'll have all of the weapons and tech... plus I'm sure I'll be some type of cyborg, mutant... wizard as well.

But, I'll also have Keanu, Statham, Denzel, Liam, The Rock... I'm realizing that the action hero world is very male dominated. I'll fix that once I'm your Awesome Master Boombastic Overlord. Which woman can I put on my team?

How about Rihanna? 

Yeaaaaaah...

I know what you're thinking - that I could have found a more... suitable pic. Annnnnd you're right.

JUST LET ME HAVE THIS! I mean look at her... DAMN!

FINE!

Scratch that. Rihanna’s not really an action hero anyway, I guess... at least not that type of action. Ooooooh! Haaaaaaa!

No?

C’mon, that’s funny

Whatever. I’ll move on.

The strongest woman in many respects that I can think of off the top of my rum filled brain is Serena Williams. So, we'll say her,

Amanda Nunes ( who doesn't get enough credit for how awesome she is btw)

Megan Rapinoe? I don't know if she can fight or not, but she's tough. I feel like if I put the arsenal of Rambo at her feet, she could save the day all day!

Annnnnnd Alyssa Milano? Idk her stance on violence or guns (though I'm sure she'd have no problem letting me know:) So Idk about her fighting, but she's resourceful though... maybe use the power of sex strikes or something.

(She’s like “Keep on joking and see what happens.”)

Where was I??

I don't remember.

I did want to address those chants from a week ago though "Send Her Back!" I’ve actually been thinking about this for a while, but those chants brought it back fresh to me.

Don't worry, I won't be getting into the politics surrounding it. - I mean what's the point? We never listen to each other anyway. I just want to say this, I have a lot of experience when it comes to cults (I know this seems like it's irrelevant, but stay with me) -

I know cults (don't ask, why let me horrify you:)

But, there are a handful of things that are foundational in cults. I'll bring up two of them:

1) Having a leader (or leaders) who is more concerned with their vision than they are about their people. So, the individuals pain, loss, abandonment, etc means nothing in comparison to their plan.

2) Having people who are all in on a person, ideal, or cause, to the point that they no longer care about the details of what leaders say, do, or sometimes don't do.

Now, the people described above aren't always meaning to be malicious. For example #1 - I've known many pastors who are good people, pure hearted, I might even call them friends in some respects, but they're blinded by their own vision (or "God's vision for them"). They're not trying to hurt others, but they do.

And #2 - they're are certainly people of admirable zeal in a variety of areas (ex. patriotism). They might not be "bad people", they might even think their position is righteous, but when we start to ignore facts, harmful behaviors... when we make ANY person (all of us being imperfect) a symbol of our "righteous cause", we've lost our way.

It's scary (especially being a minority) to see a whole nation exhibit these tendecies. And this is me being gracious (prob due to the rum I keep drinking).

BUT, enough of that... there's something else that is heavy on my heart - BATMAN (our next one that is)

Cuz... I mean... really?

Robbie P?

That's a damn shame! Nobody else wanted to play Batman? We've got the pretty boy, emo, glittery, vamp? What has he done since then? What has he done that has ever been intimidating? Even as a vamp he was lame.

And the Winter Soldier wants to play the Riddler? I don’t think that’ll happen or if the Riddler will even be in the next Batman. But, let’s say that it did. Wouldn’t it feel like they got those two roles mixed up? 

I don't even think Robbie P is intimidating enough to play The Riddler honestly. Sebastian Stan (Winter Soldier) is kinda ripped right? 

He's gonna have to lose some of that muscle before he goes up against Robbie P. I can see right now - The Riddler planning out an elaborate puzzle/trap for Batman, then seeing that it's Robbie, and being like "what do I need theses riddles for?" and then beating the living snot out of Batman. It'll be a worse beating than Bane gave him. 

Filled with rage cuz he knows HE would make a much better Batman.

Now, to be fair, I was wrong about Ben Affleck. I actually liked Ben's take on the role. It made me long for a more old, grizzled, out-of-touch Batman - hear me out:

I'm thinking old Batman, but kinda hulked out. Is Stone Cold Steve Austin still around and kickin to play this Batman?

  Gimme a hell yeah!

But, this Batman I'm envisioning is stuck in the old wmindsets of misogyny and racism - stay with me, cuz this will be an awesome Batman... well, movie... and awesome Batman MOVIE:)

To balance Batman out and keep the angry Twitter mob away from him, he'll have a team of "wokeness". Batwoman will be played by AOC.

Robin will be played by Jimmy Kimmel (you know you want to see him in those tights).

And Alfred's last wish in his will (after being mauled to death by a pack of bunnies... in the first scene of this movie) was to have his brain put inside of the body of a black woman. And that black woman will be Beyonce (cuz this movie will need a kick ass soundtrack).

Think about THAT sitch!

Annnnnd Ben Carson will play himself - he'll be Batman's token black friend/informant.

Already, the best movie ever.

I could see a scene going down like (Bats and the Woke Gang are in a bar... cuz my Batman will be an alcoholic... this Bats has a lot of problems, but he'll be real and raw... YES!)

Batman (after having the waitress bring him two more shots of whiskey, slaps her on the butt and says "Thanks, Sweetness.")

WokeTeam: "Batman! You can't do OR say that!"

B: "What?! Why?!"

WT: "It's ...just awful."

B: "What? If I don't smack her on the butt, how will she know that she did a good job? I'm being helpful!"

WT: (lots of arguing)

B: "Ok, ok, I won't do that... or call her that I guess... how about lil lady? is that ok? or Sugar Plum?"

WT: "Her name is Lisa"

B: "I got it! BIG BOOTY"

WT: "What is wrong with you? - that's ridiculous! Look, we'll deal with that later. Let's hurry up and get to the crime scene. And on the way we want to talk to you about the confederate flag on the Batmobile...annnnnd the Kaepernick sticker that calls him a Son of a Bitch"

B: "Why? He hates America. And there's nothing wrong with that flag!"

WT: "Bu, Batman..."

B: "No, no, I know there isn't, let me call Ben."

Sooooo, there are scenes like that, BUT he's also out there kicking major ass! It'll be like "Matrix" action meets "Sin City" action. And we'll update the villains -

Bump N Grinder

Fyre Man

 and his side kick “The Sucker”

“The Comedian?” (that question mark is part of her name)

Keep the classics of course

Annnnd his arch nemesis Iggy Azalea 

- ruining Hiphop wherever she goes.

And in the end asses are BRUTALLY kicked, sure, but Batman also learns some important lessons... or... or simply blows his brains out. Cuz let's be honest, some of us would rather blow our brains out than try to change.

Hey, DC... call me.

My next movie will prob be "Once Upon a time in Hollywood" 

cuz of my main man Leo! - though idk about the premise. Now, if they were making "Fight Club 2" with this cast, then definitely! What if Leo and Margot Robbie (who’s also in this) are also in Edward Norton’s head; duking it out. YES! Imagine if Quentin Tarantino directed Fight Club with his typical bloody style; we’d all still be horrified). 

So maybe "Hobbs & Shaw" 

 - those two of course, but Idris Elba is in that too! I love him!

He would have been a great Batman! I bet he could have gotten that role if he had tried. He def could have gotten that James Bond role if he had tried. But, nope, instead he decided to do "Cats"

I'll leave y'all on that thought.

[iluvtv]

Seen in Scenes

Often art is wonderful because it feels as though it is speaking so directly to your individual experience. The intimacy in these moments can practically break your heart -- there is true power in feeling seen.

This desire to be acknowledged might explain my intrinsic obsession with satire. I never feel so fully understood as when a loved one mocks my misgivings. 

Perhaps my warmest memory of my little brother is when he would mimic my vanity by contorting his face into a somewhat pained overbite smile and craning his neck forward, pronouncing "I'm Sylvie looking in the mirror" -- inducing a shared bellyaching laugh between himself and my high school boyfriend. Similarly, I knew I liked my college boyfriend's group of buddies when they welcomed me to the posse by nicknaming "Bossy McHaterstein".

These people got me, they really got me!

And sometimes TV is just good because it feels likes the jokes were written just for you. 

In these moments I am filled with a warm fuzziness and a fantasy of a few writers combing through my diary for all my wittiest moments, observations and ideas and in a genius moment of inspiration realizing they could get rich just mocking the banality of my wonderfully overinflated ego. 

And why not? At the end of the day, all our most embarrassing rants and habits generally kept so close to the sleeve are actually really, really fucking relatable to enough people to garner award-winning audiences. I mean isn't it obvious? Behind all our makeup, botox, fashion, and rehearsed dialogues it is within the fleshy nasty bits where our true humanity hides. Those are the parts that make us simultaneously unique and also pretty fucking similarly hilarious. 

Almost everything I prioritize on my watch-list is fueled by this narcissistic need for comic relief and so in the spirit of not overlooking my ever-accumulating television viewing notes of shows which I already gave full-service blogs to last season, I'll just brief you on a few stand out quotes from my winter's streaming season. If nothing else maybe you'll be inspired to pick up a new show. Or better yet start writing your own about how very endearing all my anomalies are... I have lots of journals and am happy to collaborate. I mean why aren't we getting rich?!

First and foremost, Brockmire. In its second season Hank Azaria once again knocks it out of the ballpark (see what I did there?! A baseball pun for a baseball show! I told you, I'm available to hire as a working writer!) Consistently, all my favorite quotes in this series speak to Jim Brockmire's unabashed use of alcohol and narcotics. 

When Brockmire is told that being drunk makes him more likable to his radio audience he responds: "Those are the words that in his heart every alcoholic longs to be true." 

Hilarious! 

Viscerally we do all pray for this reality. 

hang on just one moment so I can have a drink and then you'll like my writing even more.

Alcohol is wonderful because even if others don't like me more when I drink I think I’m funnier

This makes me think of a wonderful line in the much-beloved series Letterkenny "People should only get hammered together so they never have to see how obnoxious their friends actually are."

Drunken conversations (come to think of it many sober ones too) are often random babble that floats from topic to topic without a coherent throughline. Many stories are not quite seen through from beginning to end. Nowadays we've branded this comedy and it even is a titled genre. Thank goodness! Non-sequiturs drive so much of the humor seen on television today and as I said, a little inebriation doesn't really hurt this “style”. Booze-fueled rants are perfect for non-sequiturs and sure, perhaps a true genius can conjure this wit sober but I'll live in the fantasy land where the gin is really helping.

Another untested theory that might help this special brand of comedy is one's gender. In an episode of my new podcast obsession (I have a lot of these) Good One, Julie Klausner attributes most of TV's best non-sequitur television not to alcoholics but to females.

This makes sense since actually talking is a necessity to this genre.

Clearly, we all owe Tina Fey quite a bit for popularizing this trend in 30 Rock. While the character she portrays in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt seems convinced she can only function if she compartmentalizes her life to the point of nightly blackouts, something tells me in real life Fey isn't coming up with these speedy off the cuff jokes in quite the same state. 

It's called ACTING, people!

In the final episodes of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Fey and the rest of the Kimmy Machine do not let us down. Appealing to my love of all random, mostly embarrassing and yet somehow unbearably relatable moments, the dialogue in these episodes is funny because you can simultaneously laugh and pretend you would absolutely never say/do/think any of these things while 100% knowing that the only thing between your behavior and theirs is just a couple more glasses of champagne. Like when Titus uses the pickles from his hamburgers as the soothing cucumbers a woman who actually takes care of her skin might rest on her eyelids while having a facial. Or when Lilian explains farties is a common nickname for children because "they smell bad, they almost always were an accident and you have to be extra worried if they're silent."

It just feels right to laugh at what we might imagine being the very worst version of ourselves.

Indeed, moments of doom can be terribly hilarious. How about the still wonderfully important Superstore a network sitcom which four seasons in still addresses important issues addressing our present socio-economic-political climate with one of the freshest voices I have yet to see on TV?! 

The crucial voice of this series is in large part thanks to another amazing female, America Ferrara (who coincidentally, was recently interviewed by NYT on the very apropos topic of being seen on TV).

This show creates truly refreshing (almost light) humor from some of the darkest plights that are facing Americans today. Health care, maternity leave, citizenship, and student loan debt... no topic is too taboo! It really should be required television as it offers quick wit, non-sequiturs, gag humor, romance and actual representation to huge parts of our population whose stories are normally left either in the margins or in tragic headlines. The diverse representation here is truly remarkable. And while I may be able to identify easily with basic bitch alcohol memes I am also fueled be a deep-seated passion for social justice and cultural-education and am equally adept at laughing at the asinine nature of my friend's plights as hard as I laugh at my own.

Like when Dina is encouraged to hold Glenn's baby for which she was the surrogate and instead voices utter disinterest; "it's kind of like shopping at Goodwill and you see a shirt you donated. For a second it feels meaningful and then you realize it's not." Or when the staff gets snowed into the store overnight and is stuck debating whether to watch Game of Thrones Season One or Friends Season Nine on DVD the general consensus is neither, "I agree, I watch TV to escape, not to watch more white people." 

How reassuring then that there are spaces on television now where everyone can be seen from the alcoholic sportscaster to the overweight black gay struggling actor, to the strong-willed assistant manager of a big box superstore. Here, in these fleshy bits, we can all laugh-- even the San Francisco personal trainer can relate. Deep down we all are imbeciles and we also all secretly would hate to change.

[something-fanfiction-ie]

A Pair of Fans

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Creepy guy follows you for like 2 paragraphs but you get a happy ending. Pinky promise.

A/N: I am so sorry this took so long to write, you guys! I’ve been hitting a writing wall like crazy and my life has just been a little hectic. This was a little rushed because I’ve been trying to get it out to you guys but I also have to leave for work in about an hour. Thank you so much for your patience and your love, I appreciate you guys. You’re the best. Remember to let me know what you think. Like, comment, reblog, message me, inbox me, I’m really friendly. I promise. @petah-parkah-and-potahtas and @i-am-lame-leave-me-alone

| part one: Fangirl | part two: Fanboy |

___

In the end, you met Tom by accident.

It was your last night in London and you decided to pull your lazy ass off the fancy hotel couch to wander the potentially dangerous London streets. The faults of your plan didn’t fully hit you until the street lights turned on and your phone died. Here you were, all alone, lost in the most unfamiliar of settings.

Which way was the way back to the hotel? The GPS had said to head south on this certain stretch of road before your phone had died, and that information would have been helpful if you knew which way was south. Why had Jason agreed to let you go out alone? In London.

Your current mission was to find a phone booth. You knew your mom’s phone number by heart and she could get in touch with Jason to come get you. She would be mad and you would never live down the time you got lost in London, but at least you wouldn’t be dead in some back alley.

Thankfully, the road you were on wasn’t very populated so you decided to walk with your hood down. If you bumped into a fan or two you wouldn’t mind. It was still a surreal feeling whenever someone came up to you and recognized you.

As you walked, the night grew darker and you couldn’t help but be paranoid about the guy walking several paces behind you. Hunching your shoulders, you glanced behind you and the predatory look on his face was enough to make the hair on the back of your neck raise.

You quickened your pace and took a sharp and sudden left through an alley which, thankfully, led to another street instead of your untimely doom. Still keeping your gaze behind you, you payed no mind to the road in front of you.

Never in all your wildest dreams did you ever think you would run smack dab into Tom Holland. Of course, you didn’t realize it was him until a little later. He was more solid than you would have imagined and he was warm. Almost like running straight into an open toaster oven. Or maybe you were just cold?

You grabbed very muscular biceps to keep yourself from falling on your ass and let out the smallest of surprised ‘Oh!’s known to man-kind. He responded with a grunt, ‘Oof.’ It was deep, not at all how you would think a Tom Holland ‘oof’ would sound.

You should have let go at this point, apologize for not paying attention, and maybe try to explain the situation. That’s what you would usually do, but when you heard footsteps echoing off the brick walls behind you, you abandoned all regards for societal norms.

You let go of the stranger’s biceps and threw your arms around him in a big hug, tilting your head at just the right angle to see the man slow his steps.

Showtime.

“Peter! I can’t believe I found you! I was so lost and my phone died. I’m sorry we fought, I promise to never walk away from you again.” Queue the tears and the sniffles. You buried you head into a chest that, thankfully, smelled amazing. Please just go along, please just go along. Arms circled your back and pulled you close. A strangely familiar American voice spoke back.

“Don’t worry, babe. Just calm down and let’s head back to the hotel. Yeah?” More footsteps except this time, they were receding. Your heart about burst with absolute joy. You stayed like that, encompassed in a stranger’s comforting embrace for what felt like eternity.

Once you both deemed the coast clear, you pulled back and almost chocked on your own spit in shock. Tom Holland stood in front of you, his curls a little disheveled and his cheeks a bit flushed, wearing a black shirt and jeans. His mouth dropped as the realization dawned on him.

He was standing in front of (Y/N) (Y/L/N).

You were standing in front of Tom Holland. Covering your mouth, you stared at him with wide eyes. When you finally spoke, you sounded like the stupidest person to ever exist.

“I thought you were American!” You were pointing your index finger at his chest. His very solid, warm, nice-smelling chest that you had buried your face into just moments ago. You were going to have a full blown anxiety attack from the sheer absurdity of the situation.

He smirked now, “I am not. It was just acting, darling.” Your heart fluttered. He just called you darling. How many times had you YouTubed compilations of him saying that to imagine him saying it to you? Enough to know that it never sounded like this, all breathless and heated and flirty.

He extended his hand and you watched as a little bit of the fanboy from the Jimmy Fallon interview brightened his eyes. “It’s lovely to finally meet you. I am a huge fan.”

You took his hand a little awkwardly, afraid to show just how much you were freaking out. “Likewise.”

“So where are you headed?”

“Brown’s Hotel.” He raised his eyebrows and informed you that you were going in the very wrong direction, Brown’s Hotel was the opposite direction. You laughed a little nervously, scratching the back of your neck as you explained your embarrassing situation. He laughed, shaking his head and squinting his eyes in the most adorable show of amusement you’d ever witnessed.

As you walked back, your shoulders bumping each other’s every once in a while, you talked about everything you could. When was the next time you would be able to walk the sparsely populated streets of a foreign country with your all time celebrity crush?

“What in the world made you choose Peter for a name?” He joked, looking down at you as he steered you around a corner. His hand lightly gripped the back of your lower bicep, sending electricity through your nervous system. If this was a Disney Pixar movie, the alarms in your head would be blaring as your emotions ran wild.

“It was the first name to come to mind. And I’m a huge Spider-Man fan.” You shrugged, self consciously tucking your hands deep into your pockets. Peeking at him through the corner of your eyes, you caught his gaze long enough to spike your heart rate. Which was already dangerously high.

The subject changed a billion different times, sometimes one of you would let a fan moment slip and the two of you would laugh.

Like when Tom said, “Your acting was seamless and beautiful. You weren’t even the lead and still you got the most attention for the movie! Somehow you managed to convey so many things with just facial expressions and body language and it was insane, as a fellow actor, to watch you. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought you were really your character and-“ he cut himself off, his cheeks a preciously dark pink.

“I’m sorry, I’m geeking a little.” The both of you laughed and he got to witness you geek a little later, gushing about his portrayal of a character you grew up with.

“To actually see this Peter as a teenager, and I mean a real teenager, it was refreshing. Tobey and Andrew did great, don’t get me wrong. They’re both amazing actors, but I just feel like you were the most accurate teenage Peter that has ever been on screen. I love watching you.” It took you a second to realize what exactly you had just said and immediately you tried to correct yourself, but Tom didn’t hear a word of it as his laughter roared through the street.

By the time you got to Brown’s, you didn’t want to leave. You stood awkwardly at the elevator doors, shuffling your feet and trying to make sure that no one recognized Tom. He had his back to the main lobby but it still felt a bit risky.

“Well...” He looked at you with the biggest brown eyed puppy dog look you’d ever seen. It twisted your heart a million different ways inside your chest.

“Well...” You repeated. It was quiet for just a beat and then he said the most precious thing.

“Would you mind if I hugged you goodbye?” Without replying, your threw your arms around him. It felt natural, your body pressed to his like this. His arms pulled you close and he buried his head into your hair.

The moment was so dream-like, that you were completely unaware of the sound of the elevator opening behind you until the people inside started speaking.

“Tom Holland!” He jerked up, catching sight of the three paparazzi behind you. As if it was somehow possible, he pulled you closer in a very intimately protective manner. His body felt rigid against you. You were frozen in place.

“Who is the girl?!” They all started asking, and somehow it felt like you were being swarmed in a mob with their thousand of questions flying at the two of you like daggers. Tom managed to evade both their questions and them by shuffling the two of you into the elevator and evil eyeing them out.

When the doors closed, he let you go and gave you an awakward smile.

“Going up?” After he walked you to your room and you said your goodbyes, a bit reluctantly, you slipped inside. He hadn’t even asked for your number, or if he could see you again. You didn’t try to deny the sadness that thought brought.

Until you shoved your hands into your jacket pocket, ready to march into the bedroom and find your charger so you could cry to your mom. Your hand brushed against something, and when you pulled it out, you realized it was a card. Spider-Man was on the front, the famous picture of him laying on his back in front of the New York skyline.

Flipping it to the back, you burst into giddy laughter.

Tom Holland

Peter Parker aka Spider-Man

Just beneath that was his phone number and social media accounts. At the very bottom, in hurried handwriting was a small sentence.

“I’ve been hoping to run into you.”

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Watching World Enough and Time for the first time

Hoo boy

-HOOOO BOI

-THE FINALE IS HERE (the first part of it, that is)

(Spoilers below the cut)

-Oookay snowy place... Kinda feels like the beginning of a Christmas Special (even though it’s still June...)

WHAT

-THE EPISODE BARELY STARTED??

-DOCTOR ARE YOU FAKING AGAIN

-WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SLEEVE, WHAT CAUSED IT TO BE SO TORN UP

shit, no, really, what happened

NOOOOOOO WHAT

-He’s screaming because he’s turning into Trump

-...sorry.

-And the theme song comes on, without ANY explanation at ALL of what in the HECK just happened.

S t e v e n  mofo M o f f a t

-The name of doom.

? giant spaceship??

W H A T

-Holy shit BBC your CGI really improved

“Hello, I’m Doctor Who.”

“LIES” (from “Flatline”, Series 8)

-”My plucky assistants, thing 1 and... the other one.”

I’m sorry

-No seriously what are you doing Missy

Mary. Frickin. Poppins.

-”But think of the age gap!”

JELLY BABIES

-I’m 110% sure those are jelly babies and if not I will be pissed

Their faces say everything.

-”Well. I am the mysterious adventurer in all of time and space known only as ‘Doctor Who. And these are my... Disposals. Exposition and- comic relief.”

“Iz no an esersise, iz a tepht.” “Are you eating?” “No.”

...Bill’s face. This whole thing. I just can’t.

“ALlllso it’s his real name”

“His WOT”

-Okay so Missy’s probs joking here but what if his name was actually Doctor Who, what if his name was the title of the damn show and it was right in front of us and we never noticed lmao

-”Are you a human?!”  “Don’t be a bitch.”  SHE SAID THE B WORD

-”My name is Doctor Who.”  “It’s not, is it?”  “I like it.”

S H I T

WHATTHEFUCK

-”She’s a murderer!”  “Enjoying your bacon sandwich?”  “Why?”  “Because it had a mummy and a daddy. Go tell a pig about your moral high ground.”

Bill: ‘...stop.’

“ah HAHAw na forget it”

-”Nardole agreed.”  “No I didn’t.”  “He did in my head which is good enough for me.”

“Are you having an emotion?”

“Look at that face, he’s having an emotion!”

“Can I take a selfie with you?”

Don’t know what they’re eating but I’m hungry and that looks tasty

-”She was my man-crush.”  “I’m sorry?”  “Yeah. I think she was a man by then. I’m fairly sure that I was too, it’s a long time ago.”

”We’re the most civilized civilization in the universe. Billions of years beyond your petty human obsessions with gender and associated stereotypes.” “But you still call yourselves Time Lords.” “......Yeah. Shut up.”

-The food looks like salad now

-that was sooo cute aaaa

-”Every star in the universe. We were going to see them all.”

-”But he was too busy burning them.”

“Promise you won’t get me killed.”

Well look at how well that went

I don’t like their synthesized voices at all.

-It reminds me a bit of this.

“Assumption.” “Deduction.” “Hope.” “Faith.” “Idiot.” “Always.”

I can’t believe Missy copied Hagrid

-”Why do you care, Smurf?”

-”If somebody kills you and it’s not me, we’ll both be disappointed.”

-”It’s a matter of time.”

OOOHHHH

-I don’t know shit, but I think I heard that time slows down at the event horizon of a black hole. As in, it seems to slow down to an outside observer.

-And I’m still too stupid to actually connect that information to the episode itself.

-Meanwhile, Bill seems... okay for now.

What the heck.

-The man is disturbing but not disturbing enough to make me go full caps lock and definitely not the most disturbing thing I’ve seen.

WHAT’S WITH THE THING ON HER CHEST

So much fluff

Oh...

-”Pain... Pain... Pain...”

-Pain pain pain pain PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN--

Sorry but CONVERSION THEATRE?!

-Bill geT THE HELL OUTTA TEHRE

-WHAT IF THEY’RE ACTUALLY PEOPLE SCREAMING IN PAIN BUT THEY LOST THEIR ABILITY TO SPEAK BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN CONVERTED INTO WALKING TIN CANS AND THE ONLY WAY THEY CAN EXPRESS WHAT THEY’RE FEELING IS REPEATEDLY SAYING “PAIN” IN MONOTONOUS VOICES

Please don’t be a jumpscare, please don’t be a jumpscare...

Okay, so the room with people in beds said IN, Bill’s room said CONVERSION THEATRE (I still don’t get why they call it a theatre/theater; who’s the audience? What’ so theatric about it?) and this room says OUT.

-Which MIGHT mean that the first one is where the humans are kept in custody before conversion, much like a normal hosptal wing (except for the conversion part) then humans are taken to the “Theatre” to have devices implanted on them and whatnot. THEN when they’re successfully converted or about to be so, they’re taken to the OUT room to finish the process... But then what?

Hey they’re using buttons to express their emotions

-World Enough And Time But The Cybermen Talk With Emoji Keypads

-But what if that guy couldn’t find that button at first so he was like “Stay-- (no that’s not it)” “Yes-- (not that)” “Step-- (no no)” “Pain-- (ah HA)”

AAAAGH I got scared

-I got a scare

OH SHIT

-Trope that scares me the most: Hiding character about to be discovered.

-The guy doesn’t tattle on her though

-They just... muted the device... That guy’s still in pain...

Holy fuck they’re all muted

-I want to say some sophisticated thing about governments pretending there are no complaints by simply muting them.. or something like that

-Bill you don’t have to turn the volume all the way up and risk being discovered

-I feel weird here, because “Kill me” is something I say a lot but there’s a HUGE difference between “Hahahahahaha what am I doing fucking kill me, stop my sinful hands hahaha the government should come to my house and end me look at all this trash i’m drawing ahahahaha this is true art fucking kill me pfftahahahahaha” and "K̺̯̭̻̘̟̎͂͛i̙̖̳͍̮̭̣̍́́l͒͏̮͎̲͖͇͖ͅl̤̜͙͉̘͋̆ͬ̂ͤ͘.̤ͤ̌ͬ͊ͤ͑ͅ.̝̞͕̖̒̑̈̃̔.͓͋̎ͦ̔ͮ̚ ̞͎̻̥̦͕̌ͬ͗ͫ͆̅̚m̳̱̬̞͍͓ͤ̿͂̊̃e̅̀.͉̫̪̰̖͢.̣͍̣̲͉.̡̙͖̥͎̯̜ͅ ̋ͥ͜k̹̳̞̀ȋ̬̖̭͜l̎̿ͬͮ͗͑̀̕l.̍̎.̟͎͇͉̪̳ͅ.̲̼̠ͤͫ̑̆̐̈͘ ̪̣͍͙͕͉̔̈̄́ͤͪ͝m̡̗͔̞̟̲̔̿ͩ̌̽ĕ͚̦̩̥̪̍ͅ.̞̩̫͖̗ͫ̓ͨ̌ͩͥ̽.̴̥͓̦̺̌̇ͬ̈́͂̂͒.͔͕̫̼̾͞ “

-”This way Mr Razor, look sharp!”  Was that pun intended

Floor 1056. huh.

-That’s a whole goddamn city in there

WHAT THE FUCK

-NOPE

-THAT’S A NOPE FROM ME, A NOPE FROM YOU, A NOPE FROM ALL OF US, I AIN’T RHYMING SHIT WITH YOU!

-(...what.)

-”It will help with the horror to come.”  “What horror?”  “Mainly the tea.”

BEHIND YOU BILL

-”Drink it while it is very hot. The pain will disguise the taste.”

-me cooking be like

-Wait, if she’s been here for weeks then the Doctor and the rest of them have been up there all this time?!

-So if the ship’s top is ‘fast’ and bottom is ‘slow’ then the ‘top’ must be closer to the event horizon.

-That explains the date number thing up there.

-So Bill was in here for weeks, maybe months, but only a short time passed up top. Okay.

Thanks Doc, I still kinda needed that cleared up

-”If you’re standing in your garden, your head is travelling faster through time than your feet.”  WHAT

-Okay, I didn’t know THAT, that’s actually new.

-Although I’m not sure if I should go flaunting this new knowledge willy-nilly, seeing as Doctor Who is generally not considered a credible source of scientific facts.

Awwww;; Ahahahahahaha

-”He’s been raising that eyebrow for a week.”  That really puts things into perspective.

-What’s with that woman seriously

-”Don’t change the channel.”  “A week, raising his eyebrow... why would I change?”

I find it kind of cute and sad at the same time that Bill has been watching the Doctor in excruciatingly slow motion for months and hasn’t gotten tired of it

-...Why did the window affect the patients?

“How many more years?”

-wait

-YEARS?!?!

-HOLY SHIT

-...Holy shit...

Just think of seeing that guy’s involuntary backflip for weeks on end

“Wait for me.”

There’s people down here?!!

-Are you saying that city was built by the people who came down here to fix the engine and those people’s descendants

-”Soon we will all be upgraded like them.”

-UPGRADED

-UPGRADED

*TRIGGERED*

dafuq

-Reminds me of the time I pulled a winter cap over my face just because I could.

-And then I put glasses on top.

-It didn’t help. I couldn’t see through the yarn as easily as I’d hoped.

-”That was good.”  “Venusian Akido.”  “I thought you needed four arms for Venusian?”  “I’ve got hidden talents as well as hidden arms.”

Okay, I’m REALLY hungry.

-”When you hug me it hurts my heart.”  “Aw, sweet.”  “No, your chest unit. It digs right in.”

Just brilliant.

He’s wearinf a fucking mask I can’t;;asdaf

JESUS CHRTISY

WHAT THE TABLEFLIPFLAPPING FUCK

-THE GUY WAS A BACKSTABBER

-YOU BITCH

Oh yeah? If it’s so good then why don’t you go upgrade yourselves alrready?

“This won’t stop you feeling pain, but it will stop you caring about it.”

oh yeah that guy totally doesn’t care about his pain

-In fact he looks dead inside

-That actor might as well have been thinking ‘shit, my eye hole slipped and now I can’t see properly.’

-”It fits over your head.”  Yeah I can tell that mister but I don’t want you or that ridiculous pipe thing you got there drilling willy-nilly into my brain

-”But I’m the computer guy, that’s always me.”  “Sorry, she’s cleverer.”  “She’s more evil.”  “Same thing.”

Uh oh

-”Hello, ordinary person. Please maintain a minimum separation of three feet.”

-”I’m really not trying to kill anyone today, but it would be tremendously helpful if your major arteries were out of reach.”

-Annnnnnd now I’m veeeeery suspicious of the scraggly man’s identity as well.

-Like, even more so than before.

same

-“There’s always a scary thing with you isn’t there?”  “Are you only getting that now?”  *Empty Child flashbacks* *Silence in the Library flashbacks* *fucking BLINK FLASHBACKS*  ...yeah I see what you mean.

And here we see another example of BBC’s Photoshop attempts, here used to tamper with stock footage of Earth to create an alien version of it.

-(I know it’s not Photoshop it was a joke)

-Wait.

-IT’S MONDAS ISN’T IT

-Yes I read up on the Doctor Who wiki before and apparently Mondas was a very Earth-like planet, only its people opted to ‘upgrade’ themselves for survival at some point in their history

-Remember kids, if you don’t have time to binge on Classic Who, just read up some long articles in the TARDIS wiki.

WHY IS THAT GUY’S HEAD SO SMALL AND THAT DOOR JUST OPENED BY ITSELF

I have a bad feeling about this

-Oh yes a VERY bad feeling

yep called it (Not really. It was in the trailer.)

-Wow Missy is so salty today

-Not sure if ‘salty’ is the right word... Let’s say ‘verbally homicidal’

-GOD THE SUSPENSE WITH THIS DOUBLE POV’S

-Like, holy fuck, that’s some awesome screenwriting there. Switching between two scenes while maintaining the suspense in both, without making it too fast/all over the place or too long.

-I’m getting chills.

wHAT

-Sheesh, the way his voice changes at the end of that sentence... Jesus.

same

-I’M SCREAMING HOLY FUCK OVER AND OVER AGAIN

-I THOUGHT MISSY WAS GONNA REGENERATE INTO HIM (which is kinda weird) OR MAYBE HE’D BE APPEARING IN A FLASHBACK OR SOMETHING BUT NOOOOO THAT ONE FISHY GUY WAS THE MASTER ALL ALONG

-MOFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

HOLY FUCK

Is it just me or does the Doctor look really scared here

-Maybe he thought he got rid of them for good hundreds of years ago, and now they’ve come back and they took his friend and it’s all just...?

shit

-SHIT

-NO BILL

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-WE’VE LOST OUT GAY DAUGHTER

I CAN’T

-BELIEVE

-THIS

-IS

-HAPPENING

-THE FOUR BEATS!! WTF!!

no.

oh no.

oh shit.

oh hell no.

shit

-THE FOUR DRUM BEATS.

-AFTER ALL THAT TIME, AFTER 8 YEARS, THEY’VE COME BACK TO HAUNT US AGAIN.

-THAT WAS BACK IN THE RTD ERA OH MY GOD

*SCREAMING*

SDHHSJKSHJKASKJERIHIERHIRGHJSDHJGAGSLDJFAH

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

...

-FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

HOLY FUCK??

“I did my duty for Queen and country.”

“I waited for you.”

-...

-*cue end credits*

-HOLy sHIT

-THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN

-WHAT AN WAY TO END THAT EPISODE

-MOFFAT

-I’M SCREAMING

-I SCREAMED SO LOUD I ALMOST DEAFENED MYSELF

-MOFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!

[eyeofthewolfe]

Breaking Earth (Ninjago Fanfic): Chapter 6

Cole realizes that there may be a way to prevent his eminent doom. Meanwhile, Jay receives a gift he had never expected.

(Will try to add the other Chapters soon)

Chapter 6

“You know how to save me?” Cole gasped as he stood up quickly, staring wide eyed with disbelief at the woman.

Madge nodded, her black eyes lacking the twinkle but full of a cold seriousness that chilled Cole’s blood. “However, it might be too late. We must try.” She rushed to the ash-coated door before hesitating. “Young ninja, we must leave at once, or else my efforts of attempting to cure you will fail miserably.”

The Earth Ninja didn’t budge, but he stared at Madge dumbfounded and with his mouth slightly ajar. Finally, he squeaked a few words. “How will you cure me?”

She pressed her lips together tightly before answering, “It’s classified.”

“Then why should I trust you?” Cole instantly snapped, glaring at the figure dressed in black.

The woman took a few quick steps in Cole’s direction making him flinch in surprise. She narrowed her eyes like she was about to scream at him, but finally sighed. “You are right, you have no real reason to trust me. But let me tell you this. I came to this realm and framed myself to earn an immediate audience with the ninja, but especially you. I came here to collect you, because I know of your state and how dangerous it is. But I also know you Cole, as weird as that may seem, and I know that you will do and try anything and everything to not only save yourself but to save your friends, and walking away to die is the hardest thing you could ever do.”

Cole was speechless.

“So don’t run away to embrace your death, come with me to prevent it.” The woman finished, gesturing to the door.

The Master of Earth glanced down at his palms that were now internally pulsing with an orange glow beneath his skin. He looked up at a reflective surface on the wall and recognized his face, but was now almost framed with green cracks. One crack had emerged from the upper right of his forehead and was spreading dangerously close to his right eye. Finally, he turned to Madge, who was starting at Cole nervously as she waited for an answer.

“Fine,” Cole declared as he pushed up his sleeves to his ninja suit. “Where are we headed?”

Madge flashed a quick upturn of her lips as she spun to the door, gesturing Cole to follow. “We are headed to my home realm. There we will have the ability to fix you.”

The two quickly rushed out of the door and down the hallway. “Are we going to go get the Realm Crystal?” Cole anxiously questioned, trying to keep up with the giant lady.

They turned the corner and marched up the staircases to emerge on the deck. “No, that would be ridiculous. The secret entrance is within a day’s walk.”

The night sky was blanketed with stars. A cool breeze instantly hit Cole, and Madge’s high pony tail fluttered softly. Cole looked out on the shadowed horizon as he asked, “Where is the secret entrance?”

Madge lifted her finger and pointed at the mountain range sketched out in shadows in the distance. “The Wailing Alps.”

________________________________________________________

Wiping his nose, the auburn haired teenager slid his way back into the temple, thinking about how he was going to lay in his bed for the next three hours and forty-seven minutes waiting to say goodbye to his best friend. He didn’t even know what he was going to say or how he was going to prevent himself from crying. He made his way towards the stairs when a warm voice called out to him.

“Jason?” Nya’s mother spoke as she approached him.

“Oh, hi Miss Maya, you can just call me Jay.” Jay sniffled. The mother smiled, but then noticed Jay’s broken expression.

“Oh dear,” she brushed some of Jay’s hair to the side like she was his mother. “What is upsetting you?”

Jay sniffed again and wiped his nose. “It’s just…alleriges. The trees here must have a ton of pollen.” He chuckled through a sob making a loud backwards cough sound.

Maya raised an eyebrow then reached in her pocket. “Here, I think you deserve to see this.” She revealed a small square photograph of two women in their twenties. She looked at it with a nostalgic smile before handing it to the young ninja. Jay accepted it, looked down, and gasped.

The two women looked like the picture had been taken while they were laughing at the funniest joke they had ever heard. The lady on the right was clearly a younger Maya, she wore blue robes of an elemental master of water and her cheekbones were incredibly defined. She may be very pretty in the picture, but she didn’t have anything on the gorgeous woman standing next to her.

White blonde hair spilled onto her shoulders in perfect ringlets. Jay recognized his eye and nose shape in the woman, and the huge grin she wore could be an exact replica of Jay’s widest grin. She had electric blue eyes-even more vivid than his- and she was lovingly looking at Maya. She wore darker blue robes garnished with white lightning bolts.

“Is that..” Jay whispered, knowing very well who that was.

Maya wrapped her arms around Jay’s shoulders and looked over his shoulder. “That, my dear boy, is your brave mother. She was such a unique character…she was funny, brave, determined…she had the strongest spirit in all the elemental masters. Nothing could break her.

“However, one thing did affect her spirit.” She smiled as she handed Jay a small dusty picture frame. His mother stood proudly in a glistening white gown next to an incredibly handsome man fitted perfectly in a tux. Tears brimmed at Jay’s eyes. “It was such a wonderful wedding. Cliff was so incredibly handsome and nice, he was a starting actor you see, but the wedding was just magnificent. It blew mine and Ray’s out of the water.”

Jay wiped away a tear. “Miss Maya…thank you for showing me these.” He croaked as he brushed his fingers on the photograph as his bride mother.

She squeezed his shoulders like a mother and then pulled away. Jay extended the photographs back to the black haired woman. “Oh no, those are for you. Don’t worry, I have plenty more of me and my best friend.”

The ninja’s mouth instantly dropped. “My mother was your best friend?”

Maya laughed. “Our parents were very close. It always seems to happen, that lightning and water attract each other. Now, nobody predicted that I was to fall for the Master of Fire, but as he always says, the world works in mysterious ways.”

Jay glanced again at his new prized possessions. Ever since he found out he was adopted, he could only imagine what his mother could have looked like or been like. Now, he had images and even passed down memories of her, and everything was better than he could have ever imagined.

“Well, you should probably try and get some sleep before your shift to keep watch in four hours. I’m sure Cole will be dying to get some sleep at that point.” Jay flinched, and all the good feelings just went down the drain. Maya walked up the stairs a bit, then paused. “And,” she started as she turned back to Jay. “If you need any allergy medicine, come talk to me.” She gave him a wink and then disappeared up the stairs.

Jay looked down at the faded photographs of the two best friends. With a frown, he reached into his ninja suit and pulled out two pictures he always holds onto: one of him and Nya on their first date and one of him and Cole laughing together in the early days. His eyes slowly darted between the photographs of the best friends.

“History repeats itself, huh…” Jay muttered. “Life can’t seem to hold together the best of friends.” He glanced over his shoulder to where the Bounty rested on the floating land mass before tucking the pictures into his suit and making his way up the stairwell.

_________________________________________________________

It was hard to keep up with Madge with her long strides. The tall grass seemed to part for her as her black coat billowed behind her. Cole had no problem keeping up with her, but his weakening body tempted him to decrease his speed. He swallowed down his doubt and fixed his gaze on the mountain range ahead of him.

Once again, the feeling of pure power washed over him as he stared at the magnificence before him. The sky beyond the monstrous rocks was hinting at dawn but the still star speckled sky was etched from the jagged outline of the Wailing Alps.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Madge declared as she treaded onward.

Cole shook his head. “That’s not beauty, it’s power. A sight of that magnificence deserves respect more than compliments.” Madge didn’t respond to that remark, but she hid the small smile that grew on her face after hearing Cole say that.

“So the entrance to your realm is at the Wailing Alps, huh,” Cole thought out loud. “So you are from the Cloud Kingdom.”

The woman chuckled. “I am not a scroll obsessed monk, ninja. Do I look like a monk to you?”

“You could be on vacation,” he snickered, and to his surprise, she gave him a quick glance with a smile. “No, young Cole, this is my uniform. The Cloud Kingdom is our sister realm, and we actually are very similar in design.”

The Master of Earth quickened his pace to stride by her side. “So your realm has floating buildings on clouds too?”

She shook her head. “No, I didn’t mean physically. The purpose of the Cloud Kingdom is to write the destinies of the people of Ninjago. The First Spinjitzu Master carefully crafted each realm as a refection or to serve a purpose to Ninjago, the home realm.”

“Huh,” Cole breathed as he raised a curious eyebrow. “Then what is the purpose of your realm?”

The woman didn’t skip a beat. “It’s classified.”

Cole dropped his jaw into a wacky grin. “Aw, come on! I’m headed there anyways, so I’m bound to find out sooner or later.”

“However, the knowledge of our practice is very dangerous, and can lead to destructive consequences.”

“Lady,” Cole started, using his most dramatic voice. “Right now, I am a destructive consequence.”

There was a pause as the two people trekked across the thick grass in silence. Cole looked up at her to see her expression, which was her narrowed pupils peering at her in the corner of her eyes. “Very well, ninja. We are the Realm of Creation.”

“The Realm of Creation?!!” Cole repeated excitedly. “That’s so cool! You all, uh, create stuff?”

“Like our sister realm who are the writers of the destiny for the people of Ninjago, we create the people of Ninjago.” Madge spoke calmly.

“Create them?” Cole gasped. “How do you create them? Do you like design them? Physically or personality wise? Who have you created that I know? How many-“

Madge rolled her eyes. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you. I cannot answer your questions, the process is far too greater for your understanding.”

The ninja pouted but fell quiet. They walked some more in silence, when a thought popped into Cole’s head. “Wait. Earlier during the interrogation you said that you were here to retrieve your greatest achievement.” Madge’s face reacted with a slight sign of panic. “You came here to bring me to your realm to save me, which would make me your greatest achievement.”

Madge sighed through her nose. “Cleverness is something that I did program into you.”

The Master of Earth froze in his spot. Madge walked forward a few more paces before stopping herself. “We cannot be halted at any point, Cole, we must move forward-“

“You created me?” Cole interrupted her. She paused and stared at the boy before slowly nodding her head.

“You…created…..me,” Cole repeated again, his eyes wide.

“Clever, yes, but I may have slacked some on your common sense. Now come on,” Madge snapped as she continued towards the mountain chain. Cole hesitated before laughing and then rushing after her.

“I was your greatest achievement?” Cole grinned. “I was the best person you ever created.”

“Yes,” Madge groaned. “Please, stop-“

“Oh, I bet I was the best because you were creating an elemental master!”

This time, Madge faltered in her step. Cole looked over, his smile fading. “What? You knew that I was going to be an elemental master, right?”

She looked him dead in the eyes. “You…you don’t know?”

Cole frowned. “Know what?”

Madge shot forward, leaving Cole behind. “I shouldn’t be the one to tell you-“

The Master of Earth caught up instantly. “Tell me what?”  

The woman turned to face him, her black hair flying upwards in the quick turn. “Cole, you are my greatest achievement because you weren’t born an elemental master.”

_________________________________________________________

Jay didn’t get a lick of sleep for the three and a half hours he laid in bed staring at the photos of his mother while meditating on the upcoming final farewell to his best friend. Those 210 minutes were the longest three and a half hours he had ever sat through, but when the time was up, he wanted more. Stuffing the pictures into his suit, he took off down the hallway, down the stairs, and towards the Bounty.

He slid to a stop in front of the door to the brig, and then took a moment to collect his thoughts and push down the tears. He extended his hand and pushed the door open with a creak.

It looked like a bomb had exploded in the center of the room. Some of the metal bars of the brig itself was completely gone, but the ones that remained were bent away from the center. The room was coated in ash and hissing orange cracks, a sight that was hauntingly familiar to the blue ninja.

Mouth ajar, Jay drifted into the room, shifting some ash on the floor. But one thing was for sure. The prisoner and Cole were gone.

Jay absent mindedly hit the alarm button on the brig wall before collapsing to his knees, making a cloud of ash rise and float around him.

Then he burst into tears.

[huntertales]

Supernatural Bloopers: Reader Insert Edition! (Season One)

A/N: So after delaying for months on the lovely suggestions people have been giving me, I finally managed to get something out that I hope you guys enjoyed. Since I do episode rewrites for the show, I thought why not try and do some for the bloopers?I picked out my personal favorite scenes from the gag reel and gave them little drabbles. I hope this was worth the wait, and while it’s pretty tiny, there’s still plenty more I could do! I really hope you guys enjoy! Warning: The gifs that you see are obviously not mine. Credit is given to the lovely creators.  Season One Gag Reel: Watch Here. 

[Credit: X]

“I have no idea what I’m doing.” You spoke in a sing song voice, silently bobbing your head back and forth as you sat in the backseat of the the Impala that was a prop, one of the many you would find on set. Early morning shoots weren’t your favorite, but considering how many scenes you had to do today, it was part of the job, and you loved every second of this. You adjusted yourself in the leather seats and lifted up the clapperboard to the front of you and made sure it was in front of the camera like you were told. The front seats were occupied by both of your male co stars, Jared got himself ready by letting out a yawn as the palms of his hands ran down his hair before he outstretched his arms. He let out an obnoxiously loud cough, getting it in before you got everyone ready. You lifted up the top part of the board like instructed. “Scene nine—take three.”

You slapped the part down, making a small thumping noise, bringing you and the boys into focus of what you were supposed to be doing. The scene you were shooting today was Sam and your character confronting Dean about him slipping the confession to his old love, Cassie. You set the clapperboard down on the seat so it was out of view and focused your attention forward to get this started. “You told her?!” Jared delivered his line, using the frustration his character would feel in this situation.

“Shut up.” Jensen hissed out, sounding perfectly annoyed.

You leaned forward in your seat so you would appear to the camera so you would be visually in the middle of the men. Sometimes scenes didn’t go perfectly, and this was one of them. “You told her. You told her the big family secret.” You accidentally delivered the line that was supposed to be Jared’s. You only knew when he turned his head to look at you as he shook his head, the ends of his lips stretching into a grin, knowing all of you were going to have to start this scene again. But you still kept a straight face and looked at Jensen, letting this play out. “You’re a disappointment to this family, Jensen. A true disappointment. You screwed up everything—including my lines.”

You puckered out your lips as you tried your hardest not to laugh and keep your serious glare, but the boys couldn’t help it when they knew this scene was unuseable. Through the chuckles and smiles, you heard the director yell cut, informing the three of you that the scene would be needed to be done over, yet again.

[Credit: X] 

You stood at the edge of the dock and stared off into the distance of the lake you were filming a scene for the second episode. You and the boys were to imagine the speed boat one of the guest actors driving off into their impending doom, the three of you were to stare off into the distance, pretending to be shocked and frustrated for being too late. But all of you couldn’t help yourselves when it came to fooling around to help kill some time after getting the shot. Jensen pretended to become frightened at what his character was supposed to have seen, and without a warning, he wrapped his arms securely around Jared’s neck and leaped forward. Somehow Jared was quick to outstretch his arms and catch Jensen before he could accidentally fell to the concrete ground.

"Hurry, Y/N!” Jensen called out your name in a panicked tone.

You stood behind Jared and got yourself prepared, thinking the man at least twice your size could handle what you were about to do. It was a joke you and Jensen agreed on to have a little fun. You outstretched your arms and took a step forward, getting prepared to hold onto Jared’s shoulders so you could piggy back him. But the plan didn’t go how you thought. It seemed the tables ended up being turned on you.

Before you could realize what was going on, Jared stepped out of the way, giving you a clear shot for you to dive straight into the water. You had given yourself too much of a head start, and before you could stop yourself, you were flying into the air, and landing directly into the freezing cold water. It had to be at least below zero, way too cold for anyone to be taking a dive during this time of year. 

You swam around in the water, paddling around your arms until you made it to the top, where your lungs inhaled a deep breath of fresh air as your teeth began to loudly chatter. The clothes for this scene were soaked as you were freezing to the bone, but it seemed both of them were nothing short of amused from what they were able to do fom the laughs and fingers they were pointing at you. Pranks were nothing new on the set, all of you did just about anything to pull a quick one on each other. You were going to get them back, and it was going to be when they least expected it.

[Credit: X]

Being apart of this show and playing your character had its advantages. Through the season your character had used a lot of different disguises to get the job done, mostly forms of authority, like a detective or the risky homeland security officer. But sometimes there were roles that were a bit taboo, and an opportunity to let loose and have a bit of fun. You stood in the living room of the house you had been filming most of the episode, Nightmares. Most of the scenes you were almost wrapped up, you had one more to do with the boys and the actor playing Max and his mother. You kept yourself occupied and flipped through the script for one last time, wanting to make sure you had memorized your lines just right. Filming would begin in less than twenty minutes, and while you were hopeful you could catch someone to help run through lines, your personal thoughts were pushed to the side when you heard what sounded like a doorbell ringing.

You furrowed your brow and glanced around the room, wondering if someone else had heard the noise, but everyone on set was diligently working. You rolled up your script and headed forward to the front door. You thought it might have been someone testing the doorbell to see if it was in working order. But you found yourself opening the door anyway, curious to see what you might find. And whom you saw standing on the porch steps wasn’t the least bit surprising. You found a devious smirk spreading across your lips as you leaned against the door. Jared and Jensen stood on the front porch with their priest costumes from the earlier scenes you had shot, but this time, they had cut off the sleeves, showing off their arms. Your eyes wandered down ever so slightly when you noticed both of them were flexing, showing off what muscles they had, making this even more funnier for you.

“Well, hello there, sweetheart. I’m Gene, this is Ace.” Jensen greeted you with a winning smile. You shook your head, knowing they were trying to be funny by re-enacting a scene you had done earlier this week. “We’re new Chippendale dancers, we just moved in next door.“

“We heard there was a party and decided to pop on over.” Jared added with a sly wink, deciding to have a bit of fun with this even more. “Mind if we come in?”

[Credit: X]

You were back in the Impala once more with the intent of wrapping up today’s final scene in one take. It was a fairly simple one, just a few lines before the editor could fade the scene to black before rolling credits. You let out a yawn and looked away from the camera, trying to get yourself to wake up and look at least like you weren’t supposed to be asleep. When there was a call for everyone to get ready to start filming, you let out yet another yawn, trying your hardest to keep yourself composed.

The final scene for this episode would conclude Sam sitting in the driver’s side and Dean in the passenger seat. There was only a few lines of dialogue before you could go home for the day. You looked out the window for a moment, keeping yourself occupied and waiting for the cue to speak your lines, but you turned your head when you heard Jensen speak up.

“Wake me up when it’s my turn to drive.”

You didn’t think much of it, until, he decided to act on Dean’s actions as he began to lower himself into a lying position, but it wasn’t against the passenger’s side window. He titled himself into Jared’s lap for a comfortable snooze. Your leaned forward in your seat so you were hovering over him. You puckered out your lips and made a loud kissing noise, pretending to give him a peck on his forehead., wishing him a good night’s sleep. When you heard the warning call for everyone to get into their position, all of you got back into your proper set up, getting ready to do the perfect take so you could go home, wrapping up yet another successful day of shooting at the job you had grown to love with people that made all the screw ups and accidental mistakes worthwhile.  

[chalumeau-cookies-blog]

tag 9 (tagged 2 lmao)

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better. I tagged 2 though because I honestly didn’t know who else to tag.

Tagged by: @baka-bun

This caught me by surprise, but ya know what, let’s do this! ^_^ Thank you for tagging me!! <3 <3 <3

Lipstick or Chapstick: I do love lipstick and own a billion that I’ll never wear, but I’ll have to go with chapstick. I use it a lot, especially in the winter.

Last song you listened to: Your Wife Is Calling by Lee Ving from the Sound City soundtrack. The entire album is sooo good!

Top three shows: 1. Attack on Titan. I am ALWAYS down to watch Attack on Titan. It’s one of maybe three shows I can stand to rewatch, and I notice new details every time! I highly recommend going into the anime blind (without knowing anything prior), unless you want to read the manga first, since it is WAY ahead.

2. Supernatural. I am ADDICTED. Hot boys + demons + some fantastic lore and plot that I can really get into? Yes, please… 3. Bob’s Burgers & Steven Universe tie here. I’m super into SU’s plot and fan art and music and everything about it (especially the bomb-ass character development), but I watch Bob’s Burgers 24/7 for the easy laughs without having to focus too hard. 

Top three characters: 1. Sans from Undertale. At first, he’s a joking, carefree, apathetic skeleton with a pun problem. The more playthroughs you do, though, the deeper he gets. His boss fight is insane, his theme is easy to rock out to, there’s TONS of great fan art (and fan music, and fan fiction, and fan everything), and my first push to get into the fandom came from the Stronger Than You parody; I fell in love with that rendition of his voice, and promptly fell into the dark, escapeless hole that is the Undertale fandom.

2. Levi from Attack on Titan. From the moment Levi was introduced in the anime, I knew I was doomed to roam Tumblr for the rest of my life. His English voice actor is fantastic, his design is wonderful, his backstory is deep, and he’s a bit of a mess to unravel once you get to his past. 

3. Peridot from Steven Universe. We are both smol and angery.

Top three ships: 1. Ereri (Eren x Levi) from Attack on Titan. Levi and Eren just click to me. Eren is such a little shit, and little shits are ALWAYS the favorites of the “tough guys” (read: French corporals). It is SO worth wading through the stacks of OOC fan fiction to get to the good stuff. Plus, the fan art is super cute! 2. Soriel (Sans x Toriel) from Undertale. I love the base game ship of course, but I ship it in pretty much every AU as well. (Except UF, I’m really down for Frans in that one, for whatever reason.) A lot of people apparently hate on this ship and I don’t understand why at all! It’s the closest main character ship to canon besides Undyne and Alphys. Oh well. All I know is it is cute as heck, and it’s linked to a part of my personal life that’s very important to me. 3. ChessShipping (Touko x Cheren) from Pokemon Black and White. I’ve loved this ship since I was 12. Cheren is so smart and kind of an asshole, and Touko is energetic and athletic, plus I’m a sucker for the nerd x athlete tropes (Alphyne, too).

in summary: i like fan art lmao

I tag: @chloeruthgentry @moist-band-director i actually don’t know who to tag so i’m gonna leave it at that! i hope you guys don’t mind being tagged! ^.^ also super sorry this is late, I made this on mobile and thought I posted it but APPARENTLY not.