#anxious and insecure patton

[part-time-zombie]

The best part of seeing the other sides in virgils room and impacted by its effects is realizing what happens when they each get anxious, and what their anxieties are about.

Roman is worried that he said something wrong, or that he didn't do a good job. He's scared he's messing things up.

Patton is afraid of losing the people he cares about.

Logan... poor logan is just worried that he'll end up boring people with what he has to say. He's so insecure about others criticizing his work that the idea of people getting frustrated with him talking is his most prevalent source of anxiety.

And this is what happened immediately after he said that...

[esmereldapearl]

I feel like Roman is made out to be someone who just hurts peoples feelings, is rude and doesnt care about others- only himself, in the fandom.

I’m not going to excuse him being unnecessarily mean to Virgil or Logan at the start, but I do think he’s realized how it wasn’t okay. It could’ve been where Patton took the moral lead and Roman followed suit, saying mean things towards people Patton says aren’t good people. When someone tells you something isn’t good, you’re likely to immediately trust that and be over-critical of their flaws. That seems to be the case with Virgil, with Logan it’s probably because Logan shuts down every idea of Roman’s. Neither of these are excuses, but an explanation. He has apologized to both of them, very sincerely.

With Janus, he did like him at first. Janus was playing into what Roman really wanted, the callback. He played into his insecurities too it seems, saying how he liked the new outfits;

Roman: “Ugh, I hate this guy and his creepy snake face. However, he is very kind”

Janus: “Love the new outfit Roman.”

Roman is afraid of failure, it’s hinted at in a way in Accepting Anxiety when he starts getting anxious. To have someone tell you that something you helped with is good, will make them feel better and less anxious about failing in the moment or from then on. When someone compliments you, sometimes they will stick for a while because it was something that lifted you up when you probably needed it. Janus however, seemed to be using it to his own advantage. Virgil knew this I think, because Janus tried to do it with him too but he shot that down quickly.

Roman felt inclined to trust him since he was on his side while everyone else was not. Janus in SVS says how he doesn’t have to flatter Roman anymore, he has what he needed. I would talk about his relationship with Remus, but I don’t have enough information to piece together what might’ve happened.

In reality, Roman cares a lot more about his friends than what meets the eye. You can see this in the Secret Santa’s when he made Logan Sherlock fanfiction since he knew Logan liked it, and when he had Janus, he still picked something nice for him. He put thoughts into the gifts he gets people. With Virgil, he called him brave and they’ve became closer, most likely because they understand each-others pain.

I might add onto this later, my brain just isn’t working.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Switched Around

Okay so I know you don't usually do this type of thing but this idea is stuck in my head so may I ask for a Sanders sides fic were there roles are switched around? It could be because of a curse or it could just be like that from the start. The roles and reasons are as follows. Roles: Roman: Anxiety. Remus: Deceit. Virgil: "Good" Creativety. Janus: Logic. Patton: "Bad" Creativity. Logan: Morality. Reasons: Roman: We need more anxious and/or insecure Roman. Remus: IDK just fit. Virgil: We need more confident Virgil. Janus: IDK just fit. Patton: Just Patton accidentally yelling "NOW FUCK!" or something like that. Logan: Just Logan not being able to not show his feelings. - uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous

Read on Ao3

Warnings: none

Pairings: none, light prinxiety?

Word Count: 2045

In one universe, we know the Sides as follows: Patton, ever stringent Morality, Logan, the voice of Logic and Reason, Virgil, Anxiety and sarcasm personified, Janus as doubt and Deceit, and the twins, Roman and Remus as Creativity.

In another...the anxious Side waits for a group meeting to start.

Roman curls up in the corner of the living room, hunched around a pillow in the armchair, rubbing his left hand in his lap. His eyes are fixed on the stairs, unseeing, even as he mumbles to himself that the others should be here by now, they should be downstairs, we have to meet about things, did I get the time wrong? What if it was earlier and I missed it? What if it's not even today and I already missed it? What if—

"Roman?"

Roman startles terribly, looking over to see Logan standing next to him. He reaches out—slowly, slow enough that Roman can see his intentions and decide whether or not he's okay with being touched—and settles his hand on his shoulder.

"It's alright," he murmurs, rubbing slow circles with his thumbs, "you're alright. It's only me."

"…hi, Logan."

"Hello." Logan tilts his head. "What were you thinking about?"

"Just, y'know, things."

"Bullshit!"

Unlike Logan, Remus seems to relish in startling Roman, or making him second-guess himself (if only for a moment) and it seems today is no exception. Roman startles so badly that he almost knocks the lamp over, glaring at Remus as he appears in his normal spot just next to the stairs. Remus, not daunted at all by the glower, waggles his fingers in greeting.

"I smell bullshit, Roman," he sing-songs, pointing a finger at him, "fess up!"

"R-Remus!"

"Remus," Logan seconds, sounding much sterner than Roman, "there's no need to be cruel."

"Ugh, 'cruel,'" Remus groans, leaning against the railing, "it's fine. Roman's just stuck in his little spirals again, like always."

"Still, there is no need to be unkind about it."

"Yeah, Remus, you don't need to be such a jerk to me all the time."

"Of course I do."

"No, you don't! It's—"

"He's lying, Roman."

"...I knew that."

The way Remus's grin widens says he's just about to crow that that was bullshit too when someone else rises up onto the stairs, making him tumble off the railing with a squeal.

"Sorry I'm late," Virgil says, lounging against the steps and shaking his hair from his face, "got caught up in something."

"No worries, Virgil, not everyone's arrived yet."

"Yup, I can see that." Virgil tilts his head when he notices Logan's protective stance over Roman and the way Remus is bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Roman? You okay?"

"Yep," Roman says, not meeting his eyes, "I'm fine."

"Lie!"

Virgil glances back and forth between the two of them, before sighing and reaching out to put Remus in a headlock. Remus squeaks and squirms but Virgil holds on. "Are you riling Roman up on purpose?"

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, what're you going to—" Virgil tightens his hold— "ack! Okay, okay, I give, jeez, you're such a party pooper."

Virgil lets go and Remus splutters, adjusting his costume and sticking his tongue out at a truly indifferent Virgil, already back to lounging on the steps.

"Should've known a knight couldn't resist a damsel in distress."

"I'm not a damsel," Roman mumbles, even though the idea of being saved like one does sound kinda nice…

"On the contrary," says a voice he'd rather didn't overhear that little interaction, "I'm afraid that Roman did indeed fulfill the role of damsel quite nicely in this case."

"Janus," Logan nods, "good to see you."

"I apologize for my tardiness," Janus says, adjusting his gloves as he looks around the room, "but I had reached a crucial point in my thesis and couldn't leave before I'd written it down."

"Ah, how is that going?"

"Better than anticipated." He nods to Virgil. "You were right, once I began writing, the ideas just…flowed."

Virgil tips him a lazy two-fingered salute.

"Is that everyone?" Janus glances at the empty spot by the window. "Oh, no, where's Patton?"

"Dunno. Last I saw him he was in the Imagination trying to come up with a Disney-appropriate version of…oh, I forget which fairytale."

Roman perks up a little. "Disney?"

"Unfortunately not actual Disney," Virgil says, winking, "but something equally as sanitized and, uh, market-friendly."

"Something far more indicative of a greedy corporation looking to squeeze numbers out of the human act of creation," Janus says dryly as Virgil turns to look at him in shock, "what?"

"Never thought I'd see you rise so passionately to my defense, 's all."

"Please." Janus rolls his eyes. "I'm hardly riding to your rescue."

"And yet I appreciate it all the same."

"Sorry I'm late!"

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, Roman thinks idly as Patton appears, glitter glinting off of his shirt and paint splashed across his hands. He fixes his glasses with a grin and claps his hands, sending a shower of glitter everywhere.

"I just got so caught up with work," Patton says, "do you have any idea how horrifying old fairytales used to be? Carving off parts of themselves to fit into glass slippers, ugh, so morbid and gross…whatever happened to all those nice stories?"

"Y'know that fairytales haven't always been, like, just for kids, right?"

"It's true," Janus adds when Patton's mouth opens incredulously, "in fact, a lot of what we consider now to be fairytales are simply collections of stories from other writers that rewrote tales as they saw fit. Many of them have been told and retold so many times that it's almost impossible to determine their original constituents."

"…yeah, I was gonna say that too."

"Bullshit."

"I'll put you in another headlock."

"Alright," Logan says, raising his voice slightly as the others start to bicker, his hand still warm on Roman's shoulder, "now that we're all here, shall we begin?"

A few grumbles and rustles as the group settles and Roman glances up. Logan adjusts his glasses and folds his hands in front of him.

"Now, tonight is dinner and movie night, as we all know. It is Janus's turn to cook—"

"Did you all fill out the survey for what you want for dinner?"

"Yes."

"Uh-huh."

"Sure did!"

"I did, yeah."

"You didn't put anything else on there, right?"

"No, Remus, I didn't."

"Shit."

Janus pinches the bridge of his nose. "I'll have a look at the results before I start."

"Thank you. And we have yet to select the movie for tonight."

"Ooh," Patton says, clapping his hands, "Disney!"

"We've watched Disney movies for the last, like, four movie nights."

"Indeed." Janus sniffs. "There's only so many musicals I can tolerate."

"Plus," Remus adds, oddly sober for once, "they're boring."

Roman winces as Patton draws himself up indignantly, instinctively turning toward the chair for a bit of protection as the yelling starts.

"'Boring?' I'm sorry, did you just say boring? What about adventure and heroism is boring? What about learning powerful lessons and the value of love and friendship is boring? What about seeing all of these characters grow and learn and come together is boring?"

"It is rather formulaic," Janus says, loathed as he looks to be agreeing with Remus, "good triumphs over bad, the princess—or her archetypal stand-in—finds the strength in herself, the villains are defeated through a combination of genre-appropriate competence and abstract morality—no offense, Logan."

"None taken." Logan looks at Patton. "I…find myself agreeing. I'd rather not watch another Disney movie tonight."

Patton splutters. "Well—Roman wants to watch Disney, right?"

Oh, no, why did this conversation turn to me? I didn't say anything!

"Right, Roman?"

"I—um—"

"Hey," Virgil says, sitting up a little bit, "leave him out of this."

"We're all supposed to be having a discussion," Patton says, "I don't see why I can't ask Roman to weigh in on it!"

"That wasn't what you did, Patton, you just volleyed Roman in front of you without asking his opinion."

"I'm asking for it now!"

"Enough," Logan says, reaching out to touch Roman's shoulder again, "Roman? Do you have an opinion on the movie?"

Oh, god. Oh, god, now everyone's looking at me. Everyone's looking at me and they're gonna expect me to have an answer and I don't have one but I need to have one—oh, god, okay, think, think of what movie I'd want to watch—what's a movie?

"Roman?"

Roman's head snaps up on instinct as Patton speaks.

"Do…do you want to watch a Disney movie?"

"Don't lie," Remus calls, "I'll know."

He bites his lip and slowly shakes his head. Patton's face falls to disappointment and he scuffs his glittery toe along the now-glittery carpet.

"Fuck."

"What would you like to watch, Roman?"

"Um…" He glances around at the other faces. "What—what about The Bad Guys?"

Janus frowns. "Is that the Dreamworks movie?"

"Mhm. It's, um, it's based on a book series and it's about a bunch of animal—well, 'bad guys' that, uh, learn about what it means to be…good?"

Janus hums. "Go on."

"They—uh, from what I've seen of it, it's about them dealing with the prejudice that comes from being the animals they are and how much of 'bad guy' is forced upon them versus what it means to try and be good guys…a-and the animation style's really cool."

The room quiets.

"S-sorry, I know it's really similar to a Disney movie, it's supposed to be for kids, we don't have to watch it, we can just—"

"No, no," Logan says, interrupting him, "I'm… intrigued."

Roman glances up. "From what I've heard…there's also a character that's perceived as 'good' but his—he's not, really. Kind of an exploration there too."

"Ah, yes, I have heard of this one," Janus says, "I think I've seen a bit of it."

"O-oh."

"Roman's right, the animation is spectacular. And the story…while a bit simplistic is at least consistent to its own worldview once you get into it."

Roman glances at Remus. "One of the main characters is a snake who lies all the time."

"Sold!" Remus claps his hands. "We're watching this!"

"Well, I suppose that was easy enough." Logan glances at Janus. "How long do we expect dinner to take?"

"About forty minutes, give or take."

"Alright—shall we meet back down here at 6:30?"

"Works for me."

"Sure."

"Fine."

"See you then!"

Roman lets out a sigh of relief as the others begin to sink out. Logan pats him once more on the shoulder before he sinks out too, leaving him alone in the living room.

"Hey, little dragon."

Almost alone. Roman looks over to see Virgil standing up, crossing to the chair and leaning on the back. "Hi."

"Good job," he says, ruffling his hair, "I'm excited to watch the movie."

"That's...that's good."

Virgil chuckles. "You okay? I know how it can feel when Remus starts messing with you like that, you doing alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm…I'm okay."

"That's good."

"U-um—" Roman sits up as Virgil backs away— "c-can I sit next to you for the movie?"

Virgil blinks, then smiles. "Sure, little dragon. I'd like that."

"I—I'd like it too."

"It's a date."

Virgil winks and sinks out, leaving Roman staring at the spot where he'd been standing.

A—a date? Like a date-date? That wasn't what I was asking, why did he think that's what I meant? Do I want it to be a date-date? Wait, what if the others find out? Can I still sit next to him? What if I can't do it? What if he—oh, god, what if he tells the others it's a date-date?

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[nova-they-exist-yup]

Uhhh idk I think tumblr may have eated my last ask. So I'm resending.

Anyways, you mentioned how Roman had his opinion of Mind being influenced by Heart. What are the other four sides' perceptions of Heart do you think? What effects does his... behaviour have on them?

Also Soul and Mind probably either don't trust Patton or think he's way nicer than Heart lol. Soul wants to protect him in a potentially self-destructive way since he's someone else's feelings by asking him to leave them all alone, whilst Mind might respect him more cos he's known as morality. Those are my thoughts at least. Do you have any?

I feel bad for not replying to this one even tho it’s a resend so I’m gonna answer some of the additional questions here too-

Tbh you do make a good point, Mind probably would respect him more because he’s Morality, but the resemblance of his role and Heart’s just triggers something in Mind.

Which also does remind me…

When I first made this AU, I thought it’d be neat that Logan would be a robot. (I put this into my design for him but I may or may not scrap it, we’ll see.) I also headcanon that Mind has mechanical prosthetic hands, and his voice modulator is also machinery. You know what that means????

Yup that’s right Mind’s jealous!!! He thinks he should be more robotic, considering that he’s a broader concept that Logan and he’s a robot. Besides, his whole insecurity of needing to be more synthetic is just dksgdjdbsjdhsjdh. It’s part of my interpretation of him that I love and you cannot stop me from including this in the AU.

Now to your first additional question:

Also, on a scale from the most to least convinced of Heart’s manipulation, it goes: Roman, Patton, Logan, Virgil, Remus, Janus. I put Roman at the top because he does NOT trust Janus at all, who is the main one who is saying that he’s manipulating everyone. Patton views him as a son, and he trusts what people say, but yet again, he does trust Janus. Logan is below him because I feel he does notice the signs of manipulation, but he doesn’t think it’ll have any lasting consequences. Virgil is next because he was already anxious meeting Heart, and then being given proof of him being not as good as he seems threw him off. He does think Heart can change though (or at least hopes). Remus is next because he trusts Janus a lot, and he’s close with Soul who knows for a fact that Heart lies and manipulates. So he’s like “ah. I see. Welp time to give him a beating” and then comes up with cruel pranks bc he thinks Heart deserves them. Janus catches up to all the manipulation, being Deceit and all. And he also has a good enough relationship with Soul to know about Heart’s tendency to manipulate. AND he’s also close enough with Mind to get a view from his perspective, as Heart’s enemy.

When/If Heart has an outburst like he did in RoE, then shit would go DOWN.

Firstly, Logan, Virgil, Remus, and Janus would have their suspicions proved and would trust him far less than before. Logan and Virgil would still have hope, but Remus and Janus would not. Roman would have an “Are we the bad guys?” moment while Patton freaks out and lies to himself to convince himself that Heart is more than that, and that he is truly good. This would also cause Janus and Patton to argue, with Janus telling Patton to admit the facts and Patton telling Janus that Heart is more than a man who hurts people. Patton’s relationship with Mind would falter more as well.

So… yeah. Thanks for all the questions!

[tss-storytime-summaries]

2

Expected Rating: Teen

Warnings: Bullying, peer pressure, toxic friendship (they all love each other just bad at communication), panic attacks, self degrading thoughts, nightmares, swords, swearing, Remus being himself, manipulation courtesy of Janus, lying, black and white morality, fighting and yelling, divorced parents, strict parents, not being listened to, monsters and gore.

Characters: Janus, Remus, Virgil, Roman, Logan, Patton

Romantic relationships: Intrulogical maybe and moceit maybe, still not sure

Summary: Remus- loud, crude, doesn't know the definition of tact. Janus- smart, cunning, manipulative and a complete control freak. Virgil- anxious, an overthinker, highly insecure and has an overwhelming fear of abondenment.

What do these three have in common? An overwhelming fear of change and the unknown.

So what will they do when they, quite literally, are sucked into facing it?

An Amphibia AU for those familiar with the show.

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

Friends? (pt 1 Logan /4)

Soulmates? (Unhappy Accidents): Part 1, Part 2

Friends?: •, Patton, Roman, Part 4

Word count: 2595

Rating: teen

Pairings: platonic Analogical, Anxceitmus, background Royalogicality

Warnings: anxiety, strained relationships

~~~START~~~

My apologies, but I am running fifteen minutes late  

Virgil felt his heart rate spike just from reading the text. Logan was considerate enough to text him forty minutes before they were supposed to meet up, but Virgil was already almost to his destination. Now forty-five minutes early.  

Ever since the accident two months ago, just being in a car was enough to give him a panic attack. Even when he was walking sometimes if a car was coming his way, no matter how slowly or how far away, he’d freeze up in fear, praying it would stop before it ran him over. It was so bad that even when he took the bus — somehow the least stressful form of transportation for him — he had to have his head buried in his phone the whole time, lest he notice a car outside slightly too close for comfort.  

Knowing how public transportation was, coupled with an anxious desire to be slightly early, Virgil had given himself a half hour cushion time, none of which had been used up.  

He could still go to the café he and Logan had planned to meet at, but then he’d be faced with a dilemma, order a drink and wait out the time, or wait out the time without ordering anything. If he ordered a drink, he’d likely finish it before Logan got there and would then either awkwardly not have a drink while Logan got his own drink, or order a second drink and risk getting too wired. But if he ordered nothing and just hung out, he’d feel like the employees would hate him, he’d be taking up space without actually funding the function of said space — which was basically trespassing.  

Virgil spent the final ten minutes of his bus ride in an anxiety spiral.  

Caffeine was definitely out of the question, and Virgil was beginning to resign himself to the employees hating him when he noticed a bookstore right next to the café. A bookstore was perfect! He could kill time without feeling like a nuisance.  

He ended up wandering the bookstore thinking more about how he got here than the books themselves.  

A couple weeks before the accident, he’d been laid off from his job, and then after the accident, he could barely stand to leave the house at all. He’d never had many friends, and then he was only ever talking to Janus and Remus — except for that one day when they’d gone to Remus’s brother’s house to talk to Virgil and Janus’s soulmates… 

He hadn’t wanted to contact them afterwards — not because they didn’t seem nice, but because he thought Janus and Remus might be upset. He thought Janus would be upset because he hated the concept of soulmates and only accepted Virgil because they’d been together for years before either of them had known about the connection; and he thought Remus might be upset because of how insecure he was about both his brother and the topic of soulmates.  

In the end, it was Janus who snapped at him to “stop looking like a kicked puppy and call them if it means so much to you!” 

He’d decided to start with Logan because he seemed to be the one that Remus liked best. Logan had been quite amenable — to use his words — to hanging out explicitly in a friendship capacity and had suggested a café halfway between Virgil’s home and Logan’s university.  

Five minutes before Logan was set to arrive, Virgil entered the café with a small bag from the bookstore containing a book on snakes and a toy octopus whose eyes popped out of its head when you squeezed it — he couldn’t just leave the store empty handed after wandering around it for so long. Virgil sat at a table, and exactly fifteen minutes after their previously scheduled meeting time, Logan Sanders walked through the door.  

Logan was wearing a crisp black polo shirt and a blue tie, leaving Virgil feeling awkwardly underdressed in his well-worn hoodie — which he had luckily not been wearing the day of the accident.  

“Hello Virgil,” Logan greeted him, making a beeline straight for Virgil’s table rather than the counter to order. “I hope I did not inconvenience you too much.” 

“Uh, no, it’s all good,” Virgil shrugged awkwardly.  

“Ah, I see you have already discovered the bookstore next door,” Logan observed, gesturing to the bag on the table. “I suppose my undiscussed idea to go there after coffee can be crossed off the list of potential activities.” 

Virgil’s face grew hot. Of course Logan had plans beyond coffee, and of course those plans involved books! How could Virgil be so stupid! 

“S-sorry,” Virgil managed to stutter over the staccato of his heart. “I didn't mean to ruin your plans.” 

“Not at all,” Logan waved him off. “I did not discuss my idea with you, and I had no expectations that you were a mind reader. There are plenty of other activities around here, the bookstore is just one thought of many. Have you ordered yet?” 

“Um, no, I was waiting for you.” 

“Excellent! Then allow me to treat you, as remuneration for my tardiness.” 

“Isn’t anticipating your thoughts supposed to be one of those soulmate things?” Virgil asked as they got in line, still hung up on the bookstore.  

“Not at all. In fact, I find open and explicit communication to be much more effective than relying on some sort of soulmate-driven precognition — heaven knows that if I tried to anticipate Roman or Patton’s desires without speaking to either of them first that I would, at least half the time, be wrong.” 

“Right,” Virgil answered, still somewhat skeptical.  

“And even if that were not the case,” Logan continued. “You have met me on two separate occasions, and on neither of those occasions did my love of books come up.” 

Virgil couldn’t press the matter further — not that he particularly wanted to — as they were the next to order. Virgil ordered a plain coffee with cream and sugar since it would be the cheapest option, while Logan ordered a surprisingly foofy drink.  

“Roman called my order of a black coffee ‘boring’ and insisted I try this once,” Logan explained after he’d paid, noticing Virgil’s raised eyebrow. “I am quite hooked.” 

Virgil shrugged, fair enough. Remus had certainly turned him onto his fair share of odd orders over the years.  

“So, what else is there to do around here?” Virgil asked as they waited for their orders. He had expected coffee to be the entire thing, he hadn’t put any thought into other activities.  

“There are quite a few stores we could look at, including an odd gift shop and a music store that has quite an impressive array; there are also three different museums in the area, an aquarium if you don’t mind a slightly longer walk, and a park. I am, of course, open to any other suggestions you may have, but these are the things I know about.” As Logan spoke, Virgil looked for any twitch in his face, any tone in his voice that might suggest which option was his preferred one, but Logan’s genuine demeanor gave nothing away. He sounded just as interested in one option as the next, it seemed it was up to Virgil to choose which one he wanted to do.  

“A music store sounds good,” Virgil said, somewhat noncommittally so he could change his answer if Logan seemed disappointed.  

Logan’s face lit up. “Excellent. The music store it is.” 

Coffee in hand, Virgil followed Logan down the street and around the corner to a music store absolutely stuffed with CDs, vinyl, and cassette tapes. The sheer amount of stuff in such a relatively small space was overwhelming.  

“I know that not everyone is a fan of structured time,” Logan said as Virgil took in the organized chaos. “And I certainly respect if all you would like to do is casually look around, but I have a suggestion if you’d like to have an activity.” 

“Yeah, activity is good,” Virgil shrugged, shoving his free hand into his pocket to hide his nerves.  

“In the interest of full disclosure, this activity is adapted from one of Roman’s favorite date night activities, but I do not believe that there is anything inherently romantic about the activity itself.” 

“Sure.” From what Virgil knew about Roman, romance was kinda his thing, so whether or not this activity would cross any of Virgil’s boundaries — and whether or not Virgil would let it — was now another entry on Virgil’s list of worries.  

“When Roman, Patton and I are here, we are each tasked with finding an album for one of our partners that combines our musical tastes with theirs. I do not know your musical tastes and I do not believe you know mine, so if you’d like, I suggest a music exchange where I will find you an album that I feel is important to me, and you find an album important for you.” 

“Important how?” Virgil asked nervously. Logan was right that this wasn’t inherently romantic, but music was something that could get intensely personal very quickly and Virgil was not ready to bear his soul to Logan.  

“In any way you choose to interpret it,” Logan answered. “It could be something your parents liked to listen to when you were young, it could be an album that has your favorite song on it, it could be something you pretended to hate in middle school; you do not have to justify your reasoning to me, I merely thought this could be an enjoyable icebreaker, so to speak.” 

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Virgil shrugged, mind already racing with possibilities. “Sounds good.” 

“Excellent! Let us reconvene in ten minutes, unless you feel like you need more time, of course.” 

“Sure.” 

It took Virgil a couple minutes to figure out the layout of the store, and then the whole rest of the allotted time was spent trying to choose an album that he knew well enough to justify its importance, but he was emotionally removed enough from that Logan wouldn’t be able to read too much into it. When he finally ran out of time, he panicked and grabbed a CD of The Black Parade — an album he was decidedly not emotionally removed from — before rushing to meet Logan back at the front of the store.  

“Hello Virgil, did you find something?” Logan asked, Virgil had noticed him wandering around the store too, but he didn’t look nearly as anxious as Virgil felt — what if Logan hated emo music and decided never to talk to Virgil again? 

“Yeah…” Virgil fiddled with the plastic case in his hands. “It’s stupid.” 

“No such thing,” Logan replied, matter-of-factly. “If you asked Patton to do this, he would likely bring you a CD from the television program Arthur; Roman would likely choose multiple CDs as one would not be enough; I do not consider either of these choices to be ‘stupid’.” 

“The… the children’s cartoon?” 

“Yes.”  

“…okay. Uh, here,” Virgil shoved the MCR CD at him. “Is that how this works?” 

“Thank you, Virgil. This one is for you.” 

Logan handed him a CD of 8 Mile. Virgil blinked at it. People could like any genre, of course, but Logan did not strike him as a rap guy.  

“This is the first thing I bought when I got my first paycheck,” Logan explained.  

“C-cool,” Virgil shifted uncomfortably, he hadn’t offered an explanation for his choice, and he wouldn’t unless Logan asked for one, but he still felt like he was failing at something. “Um, what do we do now?” 

“We can look around some more if you would like. I do not mind if you don’t buy the CD, picking one out was just meant to be a small activity.” 

“No, it’s cool. I, uh, I don’t have this one.” Logan smiled and the knot in Virgil’s chest loosened a little. Logan didn’t hate him and he wasn’t completely bombing this social interaction.  

Virgil and Logan spent almost an hour looking around the store together and discussing music. Virgil did end up buying 8 Mile, as well as a couple albums for himself; Logan bought The Black Parade. After the music store, they actually did go back to the bookstore so Logan could purchase a few items from his personal wishlist.  

“Where did you park?” Logan asked as they were wrapping up at the bookstore.  

“I didn’t. I took the bus here.” Virgil had actually been enjoying himself, to the point where he’d completely forgotten that he'd need to take the bus home, but now that thought was at the forefront of his mind. He needed to look up the bus schedule.  

“Ah, well if you would like, I could drive you home.” Virgil knew he’d been trying to be friendly, to help Virgil get home quicker, but Virgil's heart still tried to leap out of his chest at the suggestion.  

“No thanks!” He said, much too quickly. “I mean, it’s fine, I like the bus.” 

Logan gave him a strange look, but nodded anyway. “If that is what you wish.” 

“Yeah. Uh, bye.” 

“Goodbye Virgil, I hope the rest of your day is satisfactory.” 

“Yeah, you too.” 

^(^.^)^ 

Virgil's heart didn’t stop pounding until he was off the bus, standing a block down from his building. Logan’s innocent suggestion to take a car had put Virgil so on edge that his phone was barely enough to keep him from having a panic attack on the bus.  

Much to his surprise, Janus and Remus were both sitting at the apartment’s kitchen table when he finally made it up to his floor. Remus’s head whipped around to stare at him with the most heartbreakingly anxious look in his eye while Janus stayed staring straight ahead, a tightening around his eyes was the only indication he’d noticed Virgil’s arrival.  

“Um, hey,” Virgil waved at Remus awkwardly, hoping that would be enough to get his boyfriend to stop staring at him like that.  

“You’re back late,” Janus commented, still not looking at him.  

Virgil frowned. “Sorry, mom, I didn’t realize I had a curfew.” 

Janus’s fingers twitched around the coffee mug he was holding.  

“Damn right you do, young man!” Remus said suddenly, slightly too loud and with a forced-playful look in his eye. “Your mother and I have been worried sick!” 

Virgil rolled his eyes and tried to get a handle on his temper. “I got you both something.” 

He tossed the octopus at Remus and set the book down in front of Janus, more forcefully than necessary. Janus stared at the book, taken aback; Remus put the octopus in his mouth and shook it like a dog with a toy.  

“Thanks, Virgie!” Remus said after spitting the now wet toy into his hand. “Love you!” 

“Love you too.” Most of the anxiousness had drained from Remus’s face, and the rest disappeared at Virgil’s words.  

Janus pulled the book to him and tapped his fingers on the cover a few times before speaking. “And how was Logan?” 

“Fine,” Virgil answered quickly. “Good. It was good. Nice to hangout with someone as a friend — been a while… since I’ve had a friend.”  

With every word, Virgil could feel himself losing confidence, but when he was done, Janus turned to him with a soft look in his eye.  

“Good, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” 

Tension he hadn’t even known he’d been holding drained out of Virgil’s shoulders as he returned Janus’s smile.  

“Yeah, it was good.” 

~~~END~~~

I love writing Logan, he can just explain everything without the dialog reading as weird

I got rear ended a few months ago and ever since I’ve been really anxious about cars coming up behind me when I’m stopped (I was stopped at a stoplight when the guy behind me for some unfathomable reason thought the light had turned green and just didn’t realize that I wasn’t moving?), and I can only imagine how bad my anxiety would be if I had actually gotten injured

Soulmates? taglist:

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @aeternum-ablaze @misunderstood-shadowling @vash-the-trans-catboy @dazzling-in-diamonds

[beauty-and-passion]

So, we all know at this point that Orange is Wrath... so, which of the other Seven Deadly Sins would you assign to each of the Sides?

I didn't expect it, but answering this question has been incredibly easy. I mean, some of them were pretty obvious, others... a bit less. But here they are:

Remus: LUST

Do I really have to explain why? I think he can explain it by himself:

Janus: GREED

This man runs Thomas' Patreon and his way to promote it was like "Hi, it's me, Janus. Give me money". It's a very persuasive advertisement, sure, but it also shows how much this man loves money.

Also money helps a lot when you want to “survive” in society. And considering Janus wants to protect Thomas from it, money are a great help.

Virgil: SLOTH

Virgil is always vigilant, but Virgil is also the same guy who said to Thomas "go to sleep" at 4pm and refuses to do too many things because "oh no, too much pressure".

Also, sloth is an excessive laziness or "the failure to act and utilize one’s talents" and this is what Virgil does, in a certain way: by being anxious, he doesn’t just protect Thomas from dangerous things, but harmless ones too - thus impeding him from literally using his talents.

Roman: PRIDE

Do I really have to explain why? I know he's an insecure mess, but he's also the same guy who puts the word "ME" before everything else. He dedicated a song to Virgil for his birthday, by ending it with "sure, sure, your birthday, but also MEEEE".

And do I have to remind you of his first words in the 5 years special anniversary? He was literally crying tears of joy because "Oh, you had me for 5 years! And yes, the others too but who cares".

Also, well, he's Thomas Ego and the Ego is prideful by nature.

Logan: ENVY

Why is Logan envy? Easy: envy is "a sad or resentful covetousness towards the traits or possessions of someone else".

And what do the other Sides have that Logan has not? They are all listened to. They are all able to get Thomas' attention better than him.

And yes, I know Logan would probably die before admitting it, but this man craves what the other Sides have and he just cannot admit it.

Patton: GLUTTONY

I know Logan scarves down Crofters jams as if they’re nothing, but Patton isn’t a saint when it comes to food either.

This man loves to eat and he’s willing to eat anything. No matter if it’s yummy Crofters, pizza leftovers, a second cookie or half a sandwich Janus may or may not have purposely given to him: Patton will eat it. And he won’t leave any crumbles.

[selfdestructivecat]

Random Virgil Headcanon Time because I don’t wanna write my paper (featuring Prinxiety because I am also trash in that respect)

Virgil loves to draw. Not only is it fun, but it’s also very therapeutic for him. When Virgil has nothing to do, his brain is firing insecurity after insecurity at him, so he’s constantly looking for distractions. Drawing is an extremely easy distraction, since he could carry a pencil and notepad with him in the pockets of his hoodie and, when the thoughts get too loud, he could simply whip out the notepad and start doodling whenever he wanted.

Practice makes perfect, and after years of drawing, Virgil’s gotten pretty good. His typical art style is… surprising, to say the least. Usually, when he’s drawing for fun, his style is very cutesy, energetic, and stylistic. However, sometimes Virgil’s anxiety is so loud that his art shifts from solid character designs into distorted scenes, jagged and overlapping lines and shadows smeared with his thumb clashing in a vivid, horrifying image of his most pressing fears. If one were to flip through one of Virgil’s sketchbooks, it would be an extremely jarring experience, given how you would see pages of cute and bubbly characters contrasting against vague, foreboding scenes.

While Roman strives for perfection in every piece of art he makes, Virgil tries not to get caught up on the intricacies of his art. He knows he’ll never be as good as Roman. Not even close. So he doesn’t bother trying, seeing art as something for him to enjoy privately. Besides, he’s not drawing with the intent to become an extremely talented artist. He simply draws because he likes to.

Virgil never intends to share his art with anyone. He can’t think of anything more mortifying, having both his dark and brooding persona shattered and his deepest fears revealed in one go. Most of all, Virgil wants Roman to stay far away from his art. He already receives enough insults and glares from the Prince. He doesn’t think he could keep it together if the embodiment of Creativity criticized the Anxious Side’s few instances of creative expression.

But of course, given Virgil’s rotten luck, the others find out. It’s a few weeks after his acceptance, and the others are acting much friendlier towards him, which may have been why he let his guard down.

For once, it’s actually Logan’s fault, the Logical Side picking up one of Virgil’s small notepads that was carelessly left behind. Assuming that it belongs to Roman, Logan absent-mindlessly flips through the pages, wondering if the book contained any new video ideas that Roman was brainstorming (and if Logan could get a head start on these ideas, that would be most satisfactory. He is nothing if not punctual, after all). Instead, he’s surprised to see quick, imperfect lines and expressive characters, the style a clear deviation from Roman’s detailed landscapes and hyper-realistic portraits.

He first goes to Patton, associating the bubbly style with the cheerful Moral Side. Of course, it doesn’t belong to Patton, although Patton is quick to praise the art and gush over the adorable characters. Roman is summoned next, because maybe Logan had a lapse of judgement, and these were simply more experimental art pieces from him.

Roman is stunned. In the back of his mind, the perfectionist in him is cataloging the tiny, technical flaws in each piece, but it’s almost completely drowned out by how much feeling each drawing has. Even the characters in their cutesy style and dynamic poses all have such an energy to it that Roman immediately adores, and he can’t help but smile as he keeps turning the pages, wondering who was hiding such talent in the Mindscape.

And then he turns another page and is met with a sea of thrashing monsters, all indistinguishable from each other in a shadowed mass of ink, and all three Sides realize exactly who the sketchbook belongs to.

Before they can do anything, they hear a sharp gasp. All of them whip around to see the recently accepted Virgil standing at the foot of the stairs, looking between them and the open sketchbook with rising horror.

The others saw them. They saw his disgustingly cute art and his horrifying vent pieces and oh my god Roman saw them he’s going to hate me after he had finally started to tolerate me and-

And they don’t.

Logan is by his side in an instant, coaching him through familiar breathing exercises in a soft, soothing voice. Patton sits next to him on the stairs, allowing Virgil to curl into his arms as the fatherly Side rubs circles into his back. Roman is a bit lost, still tentatively navigating how to act around Virgil now that they were no longer enemies. He gently places the book in front of Virgil before sitting in front of the group, looking helpless. Hesitantly, he offers a hand out towards Virgil, and after a moment, Virgil grips it tightly.

When Virgil finally calms down, he snatches the book and holds it close to his chest, even though he knows that it’s useless. They’ve already seen the contents. Logan, ever perceptive, makes the connection and reassures Virgil that they aren’t upset at all about the contents in the book, and that whatever horrible conclusion Virgil had jumped to was likely false. Patton is quick to agree, praising Virgil’s artwork and echoing his previous gushing about the adorable characters, and he is so enthusiastic and genuine that Virgil can’t even bring himself to counter with anything self-deprecating.

And then his eyes fall on Roman, who isn’t feeling any less lost in this situation. He flounders, trying to articulate with poetic words and flowery speeches, but when he sees Virgil looking even more downcast (obviously taking his lack of words in a negative way) he instead speaks honestly, saying how much he genuinely likes Virgil’s art. When Virgil clearly doesn’t believe him, he goes into more detail, pointing out specific things he really liked or that worked especially well technically and compositionally. He even talks about the vent art, praising the contrasting shadows and mood.

In the middle of his speech, when Roman finally starts to build up his usual gusto, he casually states that he would love to collaborate on a piece with Virgil and see how their two styles worked together. It’s a spur-of-the-moment offer, and even Roman is surprised by the request, but he doesn’t take it back. He realizes, with no small amount of shock, that he genuinely means it. He wants to create something, to participate in an activity rooted in his very function, and he wants to do it with Virgil, his former enemy.

Virgil bursts into tears.

It isn’t until much later, when Virgil gains more confidence in his place with the Light Sides and with himself, that he finally accepts Roman’s offer. It’s an extremely messy affair, paint splattering all across the room and on their clothes and hair, but it’s the most fun either of them have ever had creating art.

The finished piece finds itself in a place of honor on Roman’s wall, surrounded by all of his best work and a few of Virgil’s own pieces. And it’s okay, because their next collaboration ends up in Virgil’s room. And then the following in Roman’s, then in Virgil’s, and so on and so forth until there isn’t any more room left on their walls.

But they keep painting, and the bad thoughts never seem so loud whenever they create together. But maybe that has less to do with the act of creating and more to do with the company they keep.

[princeanxious]

For your sideswap AU (anxiety!Logan is adorable btw), are there big changes in their personalities from the original sides or do they act the same for the most part?

Also how about how they interact? Do they like/dislike the same sides or are their relationships different too?

Okay okay okay so this’ll take a lil bit of explaining so bare with me kjhkjbij

my basis of the swap part of the au is that while two side’s ‘cores’ (i.e. Logic, Anxiety, Deceit) are swapped, half of either original character still remains as a base, so theyre each a combined half of eachother in clothing style, personal motivation, *and* personality. So:

Virgil <-core swapped with-> Logan

Roman <-core swapped with-> Janus

Patton <-core swapped with-> Remus

(This got long, hiding the rest under the cut)

For instance:

Anxiety!Virgil & Logic!Logan have become -> Anxiety!Logan and Logic!Virgil, right?

So in this Au, Logan would:

-struggle with social cues

-Be hot-headed

-overwork himself

But also,

-Being anxious, overthinking and overanalyzing things

-being stand-offish on purpose bc he feels he doesnt deserve help

- struggle to trust the others whilst worrying constantly about them and Thomas

Which adds up to him being the type of person who doesn’t care what the others think of him so long as he succeeds in keeping everyone safe. He wont hesitate to start an screaming match argument if it gets the others to hear his point of view, because he often feels pushed to the side and ignored. He has the added bonus of being able to provide rational points of logic in his arguments but struggles to be taken seriously because he cant handle being taunted, and ends up lashing out because he thinks every jab is a serious one because he legitimately struggles with telling the two apart. He’s sort of like, a heightened version of both personal and external insecurity alongside anxiety, yknow?

His redemtion arc probably involved him getting so frustrated and confused by them coming to bring him back from ducking out that he literally burst into tears, because ‘I don’t understand! You all hate me, so much! I know I can’t be perfect but I can’t handle this, this, pity party! I’m not coming back knowing you’re going to go right back to hating every little thing that I do!’ Because he’s convinced himself that theres no possible way the others could even remotely like him. They *do* manage to convince him otherwise, dont worry!

As for Virgil, his character take looks a little more like this:

-Doesn’t have a high self-esteem, and can be awkward with showing vulnerable emotions

-still leans into the dark brooding shtick to be taken seriously but with a quieter demeanor, which doesnt always work

-can easily match and give playful quips, but needs time to explain himself and his reasoning

But also,

-carries a bit more confidence knowing his points and views are backed by facts

-serious insults and snips aimed at him do not land as hard on him as he knows how to brush illogical lash-out’s(like Logan’s) off as emotionally-charged but not done with malicious intent

-is able to keep up a reasonably constructed schedule, and has logical work-arounds for bumps in the schedule.

-definitely doesn’t take as good of care of himself as he likes to lead the others on to believe

I’m kinda running out of steam here to write out Virgil’s character bits all tied together as a cohesive character type but i hope what i’ve given so far will suffice??

As for the character’s interpersonal interactions, I’ll probably have to explain that more in depth in another ask bc.. I kinda want specific examples to work from because, As I said, trying to explain the relationships via the swap, where the ‘light’ and ‘dark’ sides have flipped positions with who i deemed their opposite half, but obviously not swapped each others personalities 100%, it means i’m aiming for all the original standing relationship types between the canon group to stay the same for their core positions, but just altered enough in a way that fit’s the current core-holder’s personality.

(Plus, for anyone whose curious about the au’s ships but is new to the au, it’s Roceit, Intruality, and Analogical.)

For super simple examples:

-if Anxiety!Virgil & Morality!Patton had a Father/Son type relationship, then Anxiety!Logan and Morality!Remus have a Father/Son type relationship(sort of. I’m aiming for brotherly relationship in this).

-If you headcanoned(like I do, for this au anyway) that Anxiety!Virgil had been raised by Deceit!Janus as a father figure before joining the lightsides, then Anxiety!Logan had been raised by Deceit!Roman as a father figure before they joined the lightsides.

This technically sets things up for Patton and Janus to be brothers in this au, for that reason Remus and Roman are not considered brothers. However, this does not mean that shipping Remus and Roman will be allowed in this au. Please do not take this as invitation to do as such.

Now for a bit of added fun, heres this bonus jumble of character math that i’d tried to used to explain this whole mess to ske last like at like 1 am, and some mock character interactions using this math lol:

“(Really tho its like. Solving math trying to just take two swapped characters and be like ‘okay what the fuck do we have now’ i.e Janus and Logan would actually probably get along rly well bc theyre basically swapped prinxiety, but janus and and Virgil would *STILL* have friction bc theyre swapped logince, but patton and logan would have either a raised by Roman as brothers dynamic or simply just chaotic tension bc intru thoughts and anxiety fuel eachother, but Roman and Patton would be a swapped!dukeceit dynamic, yknow??)”

———

A take on Anxiety!Logan and Deceit!Roman’s relationship:

Anxiety!Logan, having just been woken up from sleeping on the table: *hissing irritatedly at Roman*

Deceit!Roman,sitting there in all his dragon glory in still his night clothes, eyebrow raised but otherwise unphased: Good Morning to you too, 21 riots.

Anxiety!Logan: *hisses louder, bc he’s half asleep and hasnt realized it’s Roman*

Deceit!Roman, tossing the tiny feral child over his shoulder: Alrighty, Pancakes or Bacon?

A!Logan, melting into cuddle mode bc ‘oh okay this is Father, not a giant monster, its purring time then’: …Coffee

D!Roman: Pancakes it is

A!Logan: >:(

———

Aaaand a Take on Logic!Virgil and Deceit!Roman interacting:

Logic!Virgil, a lil peeved: “Are you done trying to mess with me, because-”

Deceit!Roman, smiling with a smug grin and a lil head tilt: “No.~”

Logic!Virgil, now angy from being interrupted “*listen here u lil shit*”

[the-sympathetic-villain]

Lullaby of Woe

AO3

Angst Prompt - "Of all the times to tell me, why now?" - Any pairing From @crazydemigod666 on Tumblr

@crazydemigod666 Psst you sent this ask to my main but I don’t really post my writing there, so I’m posting it here. Hope you don’t mind ;) Also, though very different in tone, this actually reminded me of your own Jolly Sailor Bold as I was writing it in a lot of ways lol so I hope you enjoy!

---

Description: Feeling unwanted, Patton climbs up to the deck of their ship to get some fresh air when the voice of a siren comes calling.

Also, there's a song in this one. I modified the lyrics, but the song is "Lullaby of Woe" - Ashley Serena and you can listen to it here if you'd like.

Word Count: 2104

Pairings: Logicality

Characters: Patton, Logan

Warnings: Major Character Death (Ambiguous, honestly its entirely up to how you interpret it), Angst with an ambiguous ending, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of neglect, Mentions of cheating, Past toxic relationship, Mentions of food insecurity, Touch starvation, Hypnosis-like trance, Brief Suicidal ideation, Crying, (Let me know if I need to add anything!)

---

    Patton had a problem.

    The crew hadn't been able to look him in the eye for over a fortnight, even though he could feel the pity in his stares as he milled about the deck without purpose. At any other point in his life, he would have been deeply ashamed, but he was nearly too tired to care now. The captain had notified him that his rations had been cut. He'd been told it was a temporary measure, but Patton knew better. The captain was starving him off the ship.

    The wind nipped at his arms as Patton nimbly topped the ladder to the upper deck. Moonlight pooled on the polished wood, lighting his way as he strode through the darkness. He moved confidently, though he felt himself nearly stumbling and losing his footing with the sharp rocking of the ship. The weakness was getting to him. He knew he shouldn’t be up in the open air as the boat rocked in the wind. One swift wind could blow him overboard and he'd be gone forever, but he couldn’t bear another minute of listening to the crew's whispers.

    His heart was broken enough already. He'd thought the captain loved him. When they met, Patton’s body and soul had felt like fire. In a flurry of passion, Patton had dropped his comfortable life to follow the man he'd loved across the sea and it had been the thrilling journey of his life. Flowing from adventure to adventure, the pure excitement and adrenaline had lit up his world and blinded him to the fire that had begun to eat him up inside.

    Only now, as Patton staggered to the bow of ship, did he realize how much he'd withered away to make way for the man who claimer to love him. Mere embers of the previous flame remained in Patton’s heart as the captain drifted into the arms of new lovers, his loyalty already fickle and fading before Patton was even gone.

    Patton sucked in a sob as he lurched forward, nearly tumbling over the ship's railing as a sudden wave jarred the ship. His white knuckles gripped the wood on instinct as he sunk to his knees. A soundless cry escaped him as he collapsed to the floor and tears flowed freely down his face in silent grief.

    The pain in his chest was nearly unbearable as Patton lost himself staring into the black water of the sea below, mesmerized by the swirling vortexes as he desperately pushed away darker thoughts. He had no idea how long he sat there, silently sobbing as the moon moved across the sky, but it seemed like only moments before an unnerving melody floated through the air.

    Fishes asleep among the weeds,

    Patton’s head shot up at the sound the unfamiliar voice echoing eerily across the open deck. His knees curled to his chest as his eyes darted through the darkness, searching for the source of the voice.

    Waves all a swaying in the breeze,

    “Who’s there?”

    Patton shivered as he raised his head to get a better view of the deck below. Unable to spot anyone, he cautiously reached up to the railing to pull himself upright and listen to the voice continue.

    But one soul lies anxious, wide awake,

    Fearing no manner of ghouls nor wraiths.

    Patton jumped, spinning on his toes as the last line finished directly behind his ear. His shoulders spun clumsily as he stumbled away from the bow of the ship, landing on the ground with a thud as he turned to stare at the beast balancing on the bowsprit of the ship.

    The creature stood on two feet and Patton could nearly have mistaken him for a man a man, if not for the pallid color of his skin and haunting blue glow of his eyes. The specter glided forward with an unearthly grace, balancing on the narrow bow of the ship as it rocked chaotically in the wind.

    “Do not scream.” The man purred as he dropped silently on the deck. “Lest you condemn the rest of your friends to share your fate.”

    A grimace curled on Patton’s lips at the statement and he resigned himself to quietly edging closer the railing behind him.

    “Oh, not friends then.”

    The beast cooed under his breath as he leaned forward to loom over Patton.  Adrenaline rushed through his veins as the creature slowly kneeled in front of him and raised a hand to his face. Patton flinched as cold fingers brushed along his jaw and guided his chin up until he was staring into the ice-cold eyes of the man above him.

    “Relax.”

    Patton felt the tension in his body disappear as the dulcet tones of the man's voice lulled him into complacency. His vision blurred as he tried to stay focused on the man’s face, but as he was pulled to his feet, only one thought rang out in his mind.

    He's…pretty.

    The beast's calming voice continued to fill the air with a lilting melody as he smiled crowded Patton against the railing.

    Don’t dare let him tremble,

    For the witcher, heartless and cold,

    Paid in coin of gold,

    He comes and goes and he'll leave not behind,

    Subtle chills tingled across Patton’s skin at the man's power. He knew fear should be gripping his heart, but he couldn’t help but his starstruck smile as the man lips curled into a sharp-toothed grin.

    but heartache and woe,

    Deep, deep woe.

    Patton’s breath caught in his throat as his waist caught the railing. His balance wavered as the momentum nearly sent him tumbling into the dark water below, but an iron grip caught his collar.

    Deep, deep woe.

    The man’s deep voice resonated against Patton’s chest and he finished its last note, drawing Patton’s attention back to his mesmerizing eyes.

    “Are you afraid?”

    Patton sucked on his lip as he stared into the icy look of the man’s eyes. His heart slowed as the air shifted blinked his shock up at the man in front of him.

    “Please, I'll do anythi—”

    “Young one, be at peace. Fearing me is a waste of your energy.”

    A raspy breath escaped Patton’s parted lips as the beast's hand passed over his jaw to curl around the back of his neck. Instinctively, he started to flinch away, but the monster caught him.

    “Why do you allow yourself to wither, human?”

    Patton sucked on his lip as his skin tingled like wildfire from the man’s icy touch. He hated to admit it, even to himself, but it'd been a long time since he'd been touched with such gentleness. The sense of danger radiating off the man in front of him should have made him quiver with fear, but instead he felt himself leaning into the unfamiliar comfort with a quiet sob.

    “Hush now. You no longer need to suffer.”

    Scaled fingers slipped through Patton’s hair as the pale beast comforted him. The walls which he’d built around his heart came crashing down and his feelings escaped him in a subdued mourning.

    “That’s all you really wanted. Isn’t it? To be needed?”

    Patton’s grip tightened on the man's flowing silk shirt as a soft whisper escaped him. “I don’t want to be a burden.”

    “I've been watching you since your ship left the port nearly a full moon ago. The effort you extend to for the benefit of the others aboard this vessel is nothing less than commendable.” The beast’s breath passed through Patton’s hair like a soft wind as his fingertips brushed Patton’s cheek. “You are not simply a weight to the man who scorns your love.”

    The man’s soothing voice resonated from his chest as Patton timidly tipped his head up to him.

    “W-who are you?”

    “My name is of no consequence,” The man’s whispered, though he seemed to immediately correct himself as he noted Patton’s disappointment. “Though you may call me Logan, if your heart desires.”

    “Logan—” Patton breathed as he lifted his head. “—you've been watching me?”

    “With deep interest, my dearest. You are too delectable to be wasted on someone who does not appreciate you.” Logan’s sharp-toothed grin grew wider as his thumb brushed Patton’s cheek. “Your scent is absolutely dizzying.”

    “T-that can't be true.”

    “Oh?” The siren's pale fingers trailed down Patton’s jaw, letting out a melodic chuckle as Patton sighed at the touch. “And why is that, my lovely?”

    Patton’s face twisted in disgust and he started to pull away. “I'm—I'm not—”

    Logan’s hands caught Patton’s waist, eliciting a gasp as he effortlessly lifted Patton and placed him on the railing of the rocking ship. He moved forward, standing between  Patton’s legs as his piercing, blue eyes locked onto Patton.

    “Not what, darling?”

    “N-not special.” Patton whispered quietly, suddenly entranced by the mesmerizing glimmer in Logan’s eyes.

    “It truly is a crime that any man was able to convince you of that.”

    Patton blinked in disbelief as the siren curled a finger under his chin, lifting his gaze. “What?”

    “Your soul leaves a sweet scent in the air that only a fool would neglect to savor.” Logan whispered, sending pleasant chills down Patton’s spine as his other hand slipped around Patton’s waist. “My dearest, you are a gift to this world that has kept my eye for thrice the time it's taken for the dark moon to turn bright in the sky.”

    “If—If you've been watching me—” Patton started after a moment of silence, shaking as he reached up to grip Logan’s wrist. “Then, of all times to tell me, why now?”

    The siren was silent as his piercing eyes bore into Patton, sending a heated wave of adrenaline through him as another wave crashed against the side of the ship. Logan’s grip tightened on Patton’s waist as sea's mist filled the air.

    “I think you know why I have approached you.”

    “Y-you're a siren.” Patton whispered as he nervously clung to the railing.

    “Come away with me, darling.”

    “They—” Patton swallowed the lump in his throat as he turned his head away from the dangerous look in Logan’s eyes. “The sailors say that those who are taken away by sirens are never heard from again.”

    Logan remained quiet for a moment before raising a hand to wipe the tears from Patton’s cheek. “You will not be missed by the men on this ship.”

    Patton sucked in a breath as though he'd been struck in the stomach. “I—I know, but—”

    “Hush, now. Do not be afraid.” Logan whispered as tears brimmed in Patton’s eyes. “Do you have loved ones on the land?”

    “No,” Patton breathed as an emptiness filled his chest. “I am alone.”

    “Then what do you live for, dearest?”

    Patton started to shake as tears streamed down his face. “I—I don’t know anymore.”

    “Then tell me, my love.” Logan whispered as he curled a finger around Patton’s chin to lift his head up. “What risk is there in leaving with me?”

    “I'm not ready to die."

    Logan's sharp teeth glistened in the moonlight as he leaned into Patton’s ear. “Who said anything about dying?”

    Patton blinked, still in disbelief as he sputtered out a response. “Are you going to hurt me?”

    “Will you take the risk to find out?”

    Patton sucked in a breath as he stared into Logan’s blue eyes. His heart pounded in his chest as he balanced on the railing of the ship, teetering above the dark waters above.

    “O-okay.”

    Logan leaned in closer with a knowing grin. “You have to tell me what you want, love.”

    “Take me away, p-please.”

    Logan's unearthly grin widened as Patton curled into his chest. “As you wish, darling.”

    A hum started deep in Logan's chest, soothing Patton’s uneven breathing as he continued his song.

      The waves are silent for the night,

      All matter turned in as daylight dies,

      But one soul lies anxious wide awake,

      My dear darling Patton, shut your eyes,

      Lie still, lie silent, utter no cries.

    The world around Patton seemed became blurry as the siren’s song lulled him into a deep trance. His skin tingled with a pleasant vibration as the soft sound of Logan’s voice filled his ears. Deep in a stupor, he barely noticed as they dropped into the dark waters below. The moonlight faded as they disappeared beneath the surface, but Logan’s voice still echoed beautifully in his mind.

    Beware of the man who covets your soul,

    He'll chop you and slice you,

    Cut and he'll dice you,

    Eat you up whole,

    Eat you whole,

    All while he sings to you,

    he lullaby of deep, deep woe.

---

General Taglist:

@justanotherhumanstuff @im-an-anxious-wreck @shadowyplaidpurseegg

[sunflowerfander]

A Romantic

In honor of Aro spec week: take this fic.

TW blood, self-deprecating/suicidal thoughts but it’s not self harm. Background Prinxiety.

Ao3 || Main Tumblr

"Are you sure?" Patton asked.

"Padre, I'm positive! Just go knock on the door and ask him!" Roman exclaimed.

"But we don't even know if he's gay!" Patton cried, looking up at the taller man.

"Patton," Roman began, putting his hands on his friend's shoulders. "If a single man on this floor is straight, I will burn my Disney movies."

Patton chuckled at Roman's solemn expression.

"I'll hold you to it Princey!" Virgil called from the other room, overhearing Roman's statement.

"Now go, and find your true love!" Roman pushed Patton towards Logan's door.

Facing the door, all of Patton's insecurities and doubts began to surface.

"Well, um, couldn't we wait until June? Then it'll be pride month, and surely he'll have a flag or something. Then we'll know his sexuality and can avoid any awkward confrontations. It's only a few more months!" Patton pleaded.

"No more stalling! You've had a crush on Logan for a year and I cannot stand the pining any longer. Not that I don't enjoy listening to you ramble about Logan," Roman assured Patton.

"It's only fair. Before you and Virgil started dating, I had to listen to you rant about him," Patton teased.

"Rants about me? What did he say?" Virgil asked, approaching the two.

"All good things, of course, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance," Roman said, shooting a warning look at Patton.

Patton giggled. "Well, at first he was annoyed by you. My favorite times were when he'd be complaining about you and compliment you on accident."

Virgil raised an eyebrow at Roman, amused, while he spluttered halfheartedly.

"You don't have any proof," Roman protested fruitlessly.

"Oh, really? Well, I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice," Patton unlocked his phone and scrolled through his videos. "Here it is!" he cried triumphantly, pressing play.

There wasn't any video, but there was audio. Roman's voice issued from the device and Patton turned up the volume.

"He's so stubborn and cynical! We're complete opposites, and we can never agree on anything! It makes me so frustrated when he smirks at me and challenges me with those warm, brown eyes. A-And when he calls me nicknames and insults Disney! He's so insufferable with his sarcasm, and his perfect hair, and his amazing smile, and his negative attitude."

The recording ended. Roman was blushing furiously while Virgil smirked slyly. Patton had to stifle his laughter behind his hand.

"Perfect hair?" Roman refused to meet Virgil's gaze. "Amazing smile? Warm, brown eyes that you refuse to look at?"

Roman glanced at Virgil warily, unsure of his reaction. He was unsure of his own reaction. Why was he embarrassed? He complimented his boyfriend. No big deal. But his heart was racing.

Virgil smiled at Roman warmly. "I love you."

"I love you too." Roman returned.

"So cute," Patton whispered to himself. He was still trying to stall for time. Maybe they'd forget about Logan, and he could escape.

No such luck, however. Roman pressed a soft kiss to Virgil's lips, who returned it. Then, stepping out of his reverie, Virgil turned to Patton. Holding his boyfriend's hand, he smiled.

"Go talk to Logan."

Patton groaned inwardly. His distraction had failed. "Please kiddo? Don't make me. What if we date, and then break up, and it's really awkward because we live in the same apartment?"

"Stop worrying. That's my job. And for an anxious guy, I'm pretty confident about you and Logan," Virgil told Patton. "Go. Just do it and get it over with."

"Storm Cloud's right. Go talk to him." Roman said,

"Fine. I'll go," Patton sighed, his heart filled with dread. "But I'm not a Happy Pappy Patton."

"You will be after you start dating Logan. Now, go!" Roman pushed him towards Logan's door, but this time Patton didn't turn back.

He strode up to the door and knocked. (Yes, it was the same knock as Anna.)

Logan opened the door. "Hello, Patton. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Hi, Logan. Can we talk?" Patton nervously fidgeted with the cardigan draped over his shoulders.

Logan opened the door wider and gestured for Patton to enter. "Would you like to speak in here?"

"Sure," Patton said, walking past Logan and into the orderly room.

"Would you like to take a seat?" Logan offered.

Logan sat down on his bed, Patton selecting a small stool by Logan's desk.

"What did you wish to talk to me about Patton?" Logan inquired, wondering what Patton could've come for.

"Um, well... I just wanted to ask you something." Patton said reluctantly, his eyes darting around the room, looking anywhere but Logan's face.

"Yes?" Logan asked.

Patton twiddled his thumbs, trying to work up the courage to ask him. "Do you want to, uh, go on a date? W-With me?"

A look of surprise crossed Logan's face, but he swiftly regained his composure. "Oh. Well, Patton, I apologize but-"

"Yeah, you're not gay, or not attracted to me. I'm sorry for bothering you." Patton interrupted and made for the door.

Logan grabbed Patton's wrist and pulled him onto the bed beside him.

"It's not that you're not attractive or likable or any of the lies you're feeding yourself right now. I wish to explain." Patton met Logan's eyes, seemingly composed despite the rejection he'd just endured.

"Do you know the term asexual?"

"Yes, it means someone doesn't experience sexual attraction," Patton said, surprising Logan who usually had to explain it to others.

"I'm asexual," Patton patiently waited for Logan to get to the point. "But, asexuality doesn't mean I don't experience any attraction. However, I am also aromantic, which means that I don't experience romantic attraction. Similar to asexual, but still infinitesimally different."

"Infinitely," Patton corrected Logan.

"What?"

"Infinitesimal means very small. Infinite means large."

"Oh," Logan blinked in surprise. "I guess you're right."

Patton giggled.

"Anyway, I just wished to convey my feelings. I do not feel any romantic feelings for you, but I hope we can still be friends."

"Of course!" Patton exclaimed, jumping up. "I would never stop being friends with you, Logan."

Logan, familiar with Patton's tendency to hide his true feelings, was worried. "Are you okay?"

"Of course. I'm perfectly fine. I was expecting much anyway. I'm gonna go and get ready for work now, okay?"

Logan nodded, his worries not assuaged.

Patton left, not noticing, or ignoring, Logan's concerned look. He headed into the kitchen where Roman and Virgil were eagerly awaiting his return.

"Well, you don't have to burn your Disney movies," Patton began cautiously.

"He said yes?" Roman cried.

"No. He's aromantic and asexual. He's not straight, but he's not gay."

Virgil donned an expression of sympathy. "Are you alright Patton?" he asked, crossing the kitchen to where the rejected man stood.

"Of course I'm alright. I don't know why you're all so concerned for me. That's my job! I'm the dad!" Patton exclaimed, beaming.

"Dads need to be cared for too. You matter to us and we want to make sure you're okay." Roman said softly.

"I'm fine," Patton repeated stubbornly. He snatched a cupcake from the counter top and headed to the bathroom. "I'm going to get ready for work now."

Virgil and Roman watched him go silently, him eating the blue cupcake.

Patton shut the door to the bathroom and tossed the empty wrapper into the trash can. He stared pensively into the mirror. He let out a few shaky breaths, trying to get himself under control.

A tear slipped down his cheek, but was quickly wiped away by its owner.

Patton's favorite thing about himself was his eyes. Not their color or lashes. He liked that when he cried, his eyes didn't get red. He could be miserable, but nobody would notice. His eyes wouldn't get red and his nose wouldn't run. He could sit for hours, tears silently pouring down his face, but no one would ever know. It was his burden, not anyone else's. If he was sad, he didn't want to burden his problems on others.

And yet he longed for it. He longed for someone to notice. He longed for someone to take care of him. No matter how he protested or lied to the others, he couldn't lie to himself.

And the truth was, he was crushed. He respected Logan's sexuality, and he didn't blame his friend. He knew that it wasn't Logan's fault or his own.

Yet his heart refused to believe it.

It's your fault. A voice whispered. You're not desirable. No one would ever care for you. The only thing you can do right is lie. Hide. You're lying to your friends. If they knew the truth, they'd abandon you in a minute. All you do is hide and lie. They don't need to be burdened by you. Just leave them alone.

He tried to stop the tears, but the flow seemed endless. The voice was right. Why would anyone care? He was awful. He couldn't do anything right. Not even ask someone out on a date. Logan would never love him.

He knew this.

All of a sudden, Patton was racked with coughs. It felt like he was dying. A small part of him was relieved. Finally, the pain would be over.

But he didn't die. He leaned over the sink, trying to expel whatever was in his throat.

A small blue petal hit the bottom of the sink, the edges painted red with blood.

"I should stop decorating my cupcakes with real flowers," Patton muttered to himself, wiping his lips and washing the blood from his hands. He made himself presentable and left to go confront the world.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Okay so I know you don't usually do this type of thing but this idea is stuck in my head so may I ask for a Sanders sides fic were there roles are switched around? It could be because of a curse or it could just be like that from the start. The roles and reasons are as follows.

Roles:

Roman: Anxiety.

Remus: Deceit.

Virgil: "Good" Creativety.

Janus: Logic.

Patton: "Bad" Creativity.

Logan: Morality.

Reasons:

Roman: We need more anxious and/or insecure Roman.

Remus: IDK just fit.

Virgil: We need more confident Virgil.

Janus: IDK just fit.

Patton: Just Patton accidentally yelling "NOW FUCK!" or something like that.

Logan: Just Logan not being able to not show his feelings.

i did it

[dark-strangeson-virgil]

Sanders Sides/Thomas Sanders Asks!

I'm sure this has been done before but I figured I'd make my own because I'm bored and why not?

Roman - What is your biggest insecurity/what would you say is your biggest flaw?

Virgil - What's one thing that always calms you down when you're scared/anxious?

Patton - Name 3 people you love on this app, tag them and tell them why they make you happy!

Logan - What helps motivate you to be productive?

Janus - What's your favorite method of self care? (Face masks, calming tv, etc.)

Remus - What's the most crackhead energy thing you've ever said?

Thomas - Name something you love about yourself!

Remy - What do you usually turn on to fall asleep?

Emile - What was your favorite cartoon as a child?

My True Identity - Who's your favorite side(s)?

Way too Adult - What do you want to do after high school/college?

Taking on Anxiety - What's been causing you stress lately?

A New Year of Lying to Myself - Set one goal for yourself for the future!

The Dark Side of Disney - What's your favorite Disney movie and song?

I'm in a Disney Show! - Did you prefer Disney Channel or Nickelodeon growing up?

The Mind vs. The Heart - Do you make decisions based more on logic or feelings?

Alone on Valentine's Day - Are you currently in love?

Losing my Motivation - Do you like mysteries?

Sanders Sides Q&A! - Name a fun fact about yourself!

Am I Original - What's your preferred method of creativity? (Singing, playing an instrument, writing, drawing, dancing, etc.)

My NEGATIVE Thinking - What's one regret you have?

Growing Up - How do you feel about growing older?

Making Some Changes - What's one positive change you've made in your life recently?

Becoming a CARTOON! - Who's your favorite fictional villain?

Accepting Anxiety - How stressed are you currently from 1-10?

Fitting In - What's your hogwarts house?

Moving On - What's your favorite childhood memory?

12 Days of Chirstmas! - What's your favorite holiday song?

Can Lying be Good? - Are you in theater, either as part of tech or an actor?

Crofters - The Musical! - What's your favorite snack food?

Learning New Things About Ourselves - Are you happy with where you're currently at in life?

Embarrassing Phases - What "phases" did you go through in your middle school years?

Selfishness vs. Selflessness - Do you want to get married one day?

Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts - How's your mental health doing right now?

Are There Healthy Distractions? - Do you try to ignore conflict or face it head-on?

Putting Others First - How many times did you cry during this episode?

Sir Sing-A-Lot - What's your favorite nickname you've ever been given by your friends?

Emo Nightmare - Did you go through an emo phase? If so, when was it at its peak?

Eyeshadow - What's your favorite band?

Blue Tie - What's your favorite school subject?

Cardigan - Do you have a mentor other than a family member in your personal life? If so, describe them!

Scales - Have any pets?

Red Sash - Describe the last dream you remember having.

Green Sash - Describe the last nightmare you remember having.

Please ask me questions!

[theimprobabledreamersworld]

Trying Not To Break- Final Chapter

I've finally finished this journey through my mental health blip, and as promised, this one is primarily comfort with a happy ending 😊 It's a short chapter, but I just wanted to finish writing it 💙

I'll admit that it's been cathartic to try and explain how things were working in my head, to get rid of thoughts and also make myself feel okay about it all too 😊💙

Thank you for joining me on this little journey and I'm grateful for all the support 💙

Warnings for: negative thoughts, anxious thoughts, crying, touch starvation mention, food at the end.

Read on Ao3!

We'll Face It Together, Me and You

Patton’s head shot up from his fixed point on the floor. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at Virgil with genuine confusion. Virgil wasn’t at fault here, so why was he feeling so… guilty? He watched with concern as Virgil violently fidgeted with his fingers, trying to work out what he was going to say. The anxious energy radiating off of him in waves.

“Who do you think destroyed all of those connections, Patton?” Virgil’s face clouded over with frustration and remorse as those words escaped his mouth, all Patton could do was stare in concern. Virgil chuckled bitterly before clutching the bed covers with white knuckles before trying to explain what he meant.

“I’m the anxiety, remember? I’m that little nagging thought inside Thomas’ head who can’t help but mess things up for him. I’m the one who knows that everything is going well with his friends, or anyone more than that and has to think… ‘but what if you do something wrong?’” Virgil sighed as the regrets appeared to mount, Patton realised that there was an equal amount of pressure on Virgil too… and he never noticed.

“I- I know my place, but I hate it! I’m the voice that tells Thomas that if he doesn’t keep up contact with people all the time, he’ll lose them. I’m the one that tells him that his friends hate him if they don’t respond… so I force him to initiate it, even when he’s too burnt out to talk to people. I make him question every little thing he says, making him think that everyone secretly hates him. So… he does what he does best… apologises. I force him to apologise time and time again, even when it’s apparent that he’s not at fault. His friends tell him that he’s done nothing wrong, which calms me down initially… but then what do I do? I kick off again. I project my insecurities onto him, until one day… people just, give up on him. I’ve never blamed them. If the shoe was on the other foot, I would have left me… us… Thomas too.” As Virgil continued to berate himself, the tremble in his voice was extremely noticeable. This guilt must have been eating away at him for a while, which would explain his aggressive reactions to Patton.

“I agree with you by the way, about Nico. I think he’s a great guy, but… but we’re not ready for that. None of us are, especially Thomas. There’s so much we need to work through and repair the cracks that have formed. Jumping straight into this, it will tear us apart, and I can’t lose you guys either. You’re the ones who keep me from being excessively heightened. You guys keep me in check. I… know I was the catalyst for that whole situation, but I couldn’t stand to see Thomas and Roman so hurt. The look of disappointment and misery on their faces was too much. I’ve been the source of disappointment countless times, I couldn’t be the cause once again. Being hated, it takes its toll after a while… so that’s why I pushed Thomas to him, to be the hero for once.” Virgil sighed as Patton tried to absorb all of this information. There was so much hurt on both sides, no wonder things were so frosty between him and Virgil in particular lately.

“I’m the reason people leave. I’m the reason why you get hurt as much as you do. I make you and Thomas think that he has to be there for others, until he becomes so clingy and attached to those relationships. As much as I hate sentiment, I force him to express it to anyone who will listen to keep everyone happy to the point of him being overbearing, even though I know what the consequences would be. I make it so you guys can never win… and I’ll never forgive myself for that. I- if I knew just how much I was hurting you, I would have forced myself to calm down. Or at least take a step back and re-evaluate my actions. I would have-“ Virgil cut off abruptly; a look of shock drained the colour from his face and his whole body began to shake.

“Oh no.” Virgil managed to say, barely in a whisper. Patton sprung into action, taking over as the one providing reassurance.

“Virge, talk to me. Everything’s okay.” Virgil shook his head wildly, hating the thoughts that were violently haunting his mind. Whatever this realisation was, it was haunting him, and Patton didn’t want that look to stay on Virgil’s face. He gently took Virgil’s hand away from his head and held it loosely, just to restore that contact. As he relaxed into the touch, Patton had a good idea what this realisation was about, but he wasn’t going to make assumptions.

“I’ve been hurting you. I’ve been telling Thomas that he doesn’t deserve kindness or any kind of platonic contact. In my selfishness, I didn’t realise just how detrimental the impact would be on you too. I just got used to being alone with no reassurance that in my selfishness… I wanted all of you to feel as isolated as I did. Touch is important to you, and I sent you into touch starvation. I can’t forgive myself for that. If you were to walk away right now. I wouldn’t blame you. All of this is down to me.” The tears fell like a river, and Patton threw his arms around Virgil as he sobbed hopelessly. Surprisingly, Virgil accepted the hug immediately and they both poured their hearts out.

The pain, the fear, the loneliness and the heartache… slowly dissipating into the ether, clearing the air between the two of them.

After what felt like an eternity, they both calmed each other down. As Patton’s eyes adjusted to not being blurred by tears. He looked around his room and saw that it was back to normal. The colours were no longer monochrome and the fireflies had returned. He had to blink rapidly to make sure he was seeing things correctly. He had been trapped in a dull world for so long, he actually missed what his room used to look like. He smiled and looked at Virgil, who was also calming down.

“Hey, Virge. I’m never leaving you. You can’t have the best duo in the Thomas-sphere with one person.” He nudged his shoulder into Virgil’s and felt a sense of relief when Virgil smirked in response. There was a large weight lifted off of both of them, like all the negativity and pressure they were feeling had gone. The voice was no longer lingering in Patton’s mind, and Virgil was the most relaxed he had been since he had come into Patton’s room.

“I should have just talked to you, but I was scared that I would upset you.” Virgil admitted softy. Patton shook his head and wrapped an arm around Virgil’s shoulders.

“I think… I think there was a lot of things we should have done, but we were hurting too much to think about it. All we can do now, is promise to let each other in when we need to.” He playfully held his hand out for Virgil to shake like they were making a business arrangement. Virgil’s melodic laugh rang out as he shook Patton’s hand back. Virgil stood up and pulled Patton up with him.

“Come on, let’s bake some cookies and come back here to watch Parks and Rec. We need it.” Virgil said decisively and Patton just smiled before opening his door. As they walked to the kitchen, Patton had only one thought on his mind.

He was glad that he opened up to his friend. Everything was going to be okay from now on. They were going to be okay. He just knew it.

[shsl-fander]

Tw: injuries, blood/gore, nearly passing out

Prompt : imagination (Roman is hurt in the imagination and Logan saves him.

Pairing: Logan x Roman

HAPPY LOGINCE WEEK DAY 3 @loginceweek2022

Roman skipped through the imagination, sword clasped tight in his hands as he slashed around him, grinning triumphantly. The Sun shined down on him as he leaped over a few more rocks, exploring the area he created farther. His hair blowing in front of his face occasionally as he continued to explore. Roman had decided to spend his afternoon here since he was feeling really stressed lately, with all the working he was doing for Thomas ; plus his insecurities hadn't been fun to deal with. He just needed a prince like adventure for himself. He hummed, swiftly slipping the sword back into its scabbard before he sat down, taking a break for a moment.

After a few more minutes Roman got back up, smiling to himself before he adjusted his sash. Being out here in the imagination made him feel powerful, like a real royal. The person he dreamed to be. He gazed ahead, the light breeze blowing in his direction. Roman hopped onto a rock in front of him, slashing more vines with his sword.

Suddenly Roman felt a strong tug on his left leg, he raised his eyebrows, swiftly turning around to cut his leg free when he realized he could barely turn. After that, it only took a few seconds for panic to set through his whole body. Roman's breath hitched, eyes widened as he stumbled, legs slipping from the rocks as the vine stuck around on his foot tightened before his sword fell from his hands. His breathing started to grow heavier and his heart beat faster before he fell backwards the vine pulling him.

He hit the ground in a flash, a sharp pain stabbing into his leg. Roman gasped, his gaze going right to his leg before he noticed a rock stabbed straight through it. Roman yelped in pain, blood scattered all over his leg. Tears welled up in his eyes as he tried to help himself.

Meanwhile back in the mindplace Logan sat down on the couch, face burried into his laptop. He was aware Roman was out adventuring, and even though he warned him that it could be illogical and result in injury ; he knew Roman wouldn't listen. He was stubborn, but so was Logan. And plus, Logan would never admit but he found the stubborness quite cute.

Logan shut his laptop, blinking his eyes and taking his glasses off to clean them once he finished with his work. Logan's glanced outside, the sky was starting to set, and just by that he knew Roman had been out in the imagination for a long time. He felt a pit in his stomach start to appear, worry growing inside him. "No no, Logan that's illogical. He is the one who made the imagination, he's safe-" Logan insisted, though he still couldn't help but worry. He loved Roman, he didn't want to risk him being hurt. Logan bounced his feet, biting his lip anxiously before he stood up to find the others, seeing if they had seen Roman arrive back from the imagination.

Logan rushed up towards Patton, the more moments passing the more anxious he grew ; maybe this was how Virgil felt daily. Huh. He fidgeted with his tie, "Hello Patton, have you seen Roman? He was meant to be in the imagination, he said it was to help himself calm down. But, he's been there for hours and I haven't seen him come back once. Have you seen him?" he rambled. Logan wasn't typically like this, that was Virgil's job. But Roman brought in a bunch of feelings out of him that he didn't understand ; this was another one of those situations.

Patton stuttered worriedly, shaking his head, "No I'm sorry Lo I haven't seen him all day, is he okay?!"

Patton kept talking but Logan couldn't hear as he started to walk away, he needed to find a way to get into the imagination. Even if Roman wasn't hurt, he needed to come back home eventually. Plus, maybe Roman was upset. He paused,swiftly turning around again "Patton? Is there a way for other sides that aren't creativity to get into the imagination without creativity's help?" he asked.

Roman panted, slipping his sash off from his body and wrapping his leg around with the sash. Roman chuckled miserably, "at least it matches so if won't completely ruin my sash?" he mumbled. Roman trembled, he was absolutely terrified. He wanted to go on a prince adventure, he didn't know getting his foot stuck and tripping at one spot would cause this.

Logan ran his fingers through his hair, frantically rushing around the mindscape. He was sure there was a way for him, logic, to get into the imagination by himself. But he didn't have time to figure that out, he needed to find Remus so Remus could transport him there, then he could find his boyfriend. Logan sighed, he should have gone with Roman originally. Even if he found adventures like that inconvenient, he should have been there to protect his boyfriend. Nonetheless, he was going to look for him now. "I'm sorry Roman," he muttered, "please be okay." With that, he went to find where Remus could be.

Roman's vision started to blur as he looked ahead, a sharp pain appearing in his head. He kept holding his leg tight. He didn't want to go here alone ever again, always take someone with him incase he gets hurt again. His head started to spin, he could hear one thing in the distance.

"Roman?! Roman! Are you okay?!" Logan called out, pausing for a moment to catch his breath. It was ironic, he was saving his boyfriend ; the boy who always said he would be a prince and save people. Nonetheless, Logan kept searching. "Roman!" He rushed into the woods.

Roman couldn't remember much about being saved, he knew he was lifted up, the rock from his leg was removed carfully. He gazed up weakly to see Logan holding him tight as they walked through the portal, back home. "Specs? Is that you?"

Logan smiled softly, tenderly running his fingers through Roman's hair, "Yes Love, it's me I'm here. It's going to be okay, I can help your leg." He paused for a moment, "if you just listened to me this wouldn't have happened-" he pointed out with a huff. He gently placed Roman on the couch, unwrapping his leg, "Roman I don't think you're going to like hearing this but you stained your sash-" he mumbled before gazing down at the gash.

"What happened?!" Logan exclaimed worriedly, before cleaning the wond, "this might sting."

Roman winced in pain, trying to avoid eye contact with his injury so his gaze stayed right up ; at Logan. Which wasn't hard, because even when scolding him and cleaning his wounds Logan was still pretty.

"You need to be more careful out there Roman! You know only two sides can have acces by themselves, what would have happened if I waited for you to come back? You could have.." His words trailed off before he sighed again, "nonetheless I'm just glad you're okay now. And, it was partially my fault for not going with you. But in my defense, I don't like adventuring and I had work to do."

Logan hated the way that sounded coming from him. He didn't say it enough, but Roman meant more to him than any job or work ever could. "No, I'm sorry. That's not a good enough apology," he frowned looking up to meet Roman's gaze. "But, I can help you. If you just stand still- you're going to be okay. I promise."

"Hey Nerd?"

"Yes, Roman?"

"I love you. Thank you."

Word Count: 1304

[beauty-and-passion]

Hey! How are you? Just came across your blog recently, and I gotta say I absolutely love your theories!! I’m still catching up, but they’re so well thought out and deeply analyzed. It’s an absolute joy to read through, so thank you for all your interesting ideas!

I love theorizing myself too, and I’ve been wondering a bit about what the upcoming season finale of Sanders Sides will look like. Do you have any thoughts/theories on that?

I believe Joan mentioned we will have another 1/2 Asides before the finale of the current 2nd season. After FWSA (which apparently is playing an important part in the overall storyline according to the team), I feel like we might get an intense 2-vs-2 situation that could revolve around Thomas and Nico. Virgil and Roman on one side arguing Thomas is ready to start a relationship with Nico, and Patton and Janus on the other side arguing against it. Don’t know whether Nico would make a return so soon though, as it also feels Roman’s arc might become a vocal point in upcoming episodes (then again, the two could intertwine).

Anyway, do you have any ideas on how the finale would play out? Could we potentially get some Orange hints? (I am freaking out about him lately so would LOVE some more hints in next episodes lol.) Sorry if this is too long for an Ask Me Anything, still figuring out how to Tumblr. Would love to hear your thoughts!

First of all: thank you, I’m glad you like my theories! And I hope you will keep hanging around, because more will come in the future ;)

Second: don’t worry, this wasn’t a long ask :) it was nice to read your thoughts on the matter, because that’s not an easy one!

Third: o-oooh, what a question! I really love it! But I will also need some time to properly answer it, so I apologize in advance for my late reply.

Before starting, a premise. As you said, there will be two Asides, then a two-parts episode that will end season two. During every two-parts episode we visited the room of a new Core Side and considering we’re into Roman’s arc now, it’s pretty clear Roman’s room will be the next one. That also means this two-parts episode will be focused on Roman.

But Roman’s plot isn’t the only one we have now. There’s also:

The whole “Dark Sides relationship” (yes, I’m talking about you, Virgil and Janus)

Remus (his relationship with Roman, his functions, his future role in the creative process)

Logan and his issues

Considering that those are pretty big themes, I would develop them all in season three and just give some hints for now. There will be time to properly address them all later.

The only other plot I would keep is the one about Nico. During the first livesteam after FWSA, Thomas said he wanted to show how character!Thomas deals with a relationship. So yes, Nico IS a big deal, he will come back and the next big theme will probably be about him.

Having said that, here we are:

My Theories On The Next Two Asides And The Possible Ending Of Season Two.

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THE ASIDES

So we have three Asides and six Sides. Two of them were in the first Aside, so I would take them out for the other two.

We have now four Sides to see. Leaving one or two behind would have no sense, so I think we should see them all, two at a time.

Second Aside: Remus and Logan

Why the next Aside should be about them? Because we need to start talking about the creative process and how it isn’t just a purely “Roman” process, but something that requires Remus’ constant stream of ideas on one side and Logan’s realistic approach on the other.

However, it’s still a bit too early to talk about that: Thomas needs to grow, Roman needs to grow. For now, I would start by showing little by little how Remus’ suggestions can potentially be useful, if properly developed and tamed.

And we can do it thanks to Nico.

Some time passes between the first and the second Aside. Thomas and Nico starts to date, everything is good.

But Thomas is still insecure, because of what Virgil said to him in FWSA: “Will deceit continue to be the answer to all of your problems? Is that fair to (Nico)?”. So he tries to be as much honest as possible with Nico, to the point of ending up being brutally honest sometimes. Nico would be a bit weirded out by this behaviour, but accept it with a shrug.

So, since things are going so well, Thomas wants to make it official. To finally be boyfriends and not just two-people-who-see-each-other-and-kinda-like-each-other.

And that’s where Logan and Remus would come into play. Thomas’ thoughts about Nico would get Remus’ attention and the sudden brainstorming session would get Logan’s. The first would poke Thomas for his less chaste thoughts, all while suggesting weird, inappropriate ways Thomas can ask Nico to be boyfriends. The second wouldn’t tear down Remus’ suggestions, but work around them, show their flaws and how they cannot work.

This back and forth will lead to Thomas realizing what he can do and how. And this solution wil be the good one: Thomas would ask Nico to be boyfriends and Nico would accept.

Third Aside: Janus and Patton

Until now, we saw two kind of cooperations: Roman and Virgil’s is based on feelings and “pushing” each other through their emotions. Logan and Remus’ is a cooperation “in power”: they work well together and we just got a glimpse of how fruitful this cooperation will be in the future.

In this Aside we will see a third kind of cooperation: the most stable and balanced one. We would see how well Janus and Patton would steer Thomas together, how they’re able to talk and compromise, how they’re gradually smoothing their most extreme points of view for Thomas’ sake. And we would see them getting along well, despite their differences.

But why showing it now? Because this would be the perfect moment in time to show it. Because now Thomas is in an official relationship: things are getting real and there are A LOT of decisions that should be taken every day. Janus and Patton’s guidance would shine and prove how a cooperation between Sides isn’t just possible, but it leads to big, better results.

And it would also prove that Roman and Virgil’s fear in FWSA (that Thomas was using deceit to solve all his problems) was without merit. Janus’ power isn’t as uncontrollable as they thought. On the contrary, with Patton’s morals balancing it and when properly used, lying help Thomas achieve more. His relationship with Nico grows stronger.

Things are going well.

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SANDERS SIDES - ENDING OF SEASON 2 PART 1

I’ve got an idea in the back of my mind for a while about how things can get worse and it’s something like this:

As we saw in the Asides, Thomas and Nico’s relationship is going well. Things moved very fast, yes, but they really like each other, so it’s okay.

One day, Nico says he wants to introduce Thomas to his family. Despite an initial peak in anxiety (a subtle way to show us that Virgil has problems with change in general), Thomas accepts to meet them.

Thomas is getting ready with Roman and Virgil. Virgil is - guess what - anxious about this meeting, but he’s also all butterflies in the stomach. Roman is absolutely delighted and keeps circling around Thomas, suggesting him what to wear, what to say, how to move: in other words, the whole “Himbo hopelessly in love” starter pack.

For a while, the meeting is going smoothly. Then Roman and Virgil notice how, once in a while, Thomas drops a lie. Something like “The food is delicious” when it’s not or “what a beautiful dress” even if it’s hideous. And the two Sides get worried. Once again, they try to force Thomas to stop lying, because Lying Is Always Bad and there can’t be true love with lies.

Still insecure and pushed by them, Thomas stops lying. He inevitably ends up saying something offensive/extremely mean and/or he ends up acting so badly the meeting has to end. Nico finds an excuse to justify Thomas’ behaviour with his parents (something on the line of “Thomas is very tired”) and Thomas is forced to leave.

When he comes back home, the discussion is inevitable. Roman and Virgil straight up blame Thomas for lying in the first place, because he wouldn’t have messed up so much, if he was honest from start.

But when Janus appears to defend Thomas and tells them lying IS useful in some circumstances, the situation escalates quickly. The two Sides attack Janus, blaming him for everything and making heavy statements on how deeply he corrupted Thomas/Patton or something similar. On the other hand, Janus attacks them back. They throw words at each other, things are starting to get pretty serious...

And just when the situation reaches its climax, Patton appears. He takes Janus’ side, he explains why lying is useful - especially during formal circumstances like meeting your boyfriend’s family because you want to be accepted, not to be seen as a complete jerk - and he bluntly tells Morality is HIS job, not Virgil’s nor Roman’s.

In this standstill, Thomas’ phone rings. It’s Nico. He wants to talk with Thomas about the evening. Janus suggests a simple lie (I was tired/long day at work), but Nico tells Thomas this isn’t the first time something similar happened - thus reminding us about all of Thomas’ “bursts of honesty” we saw in the second Aside. Honesty that wasn’t seen as such by Nico, but as weird, mean behaviours from the guy he likes.

So when Thomas tries to justify himself with some lie, Nico stops him. He tells Thomas he thought about a lot of stuff, after the meeting ended. He thought about their relationship. He thought about Thomas’ behaviour. Maybe they should’ve dated more, before becoming boyfriends. Maybe they moved too fast. Maybe introducing Thomas to his parents was the wrong choice. Maybe they should think a bit more. And maybe they should take some time for themselves to think about what they want to do, before going further with this relationship.

Nico hangs up. Janus is speechless. Thomas is on the verge of crying. Patton is heartbroken. Virgil is shocked.

And Roman is absolutely devastated. The love he wanted so badly, this happiness he desperately needed, is now in danger. Instead of strengthening the relationship, everything he did only managed to worsen it.

Roman sinks down and locks himself in his room.

_______________________________________

SANDERS SIDES - ENDING OF SEASON 2 PART 2

We already had a Side ducking out and a Side welcoming the others in his room so, for this third time, we should try something different. And what’s better than Thomas & his Sides trying to break into Roman’s room?

Remus might appear for a while, just to help them get inside and leave. There are already a lot of issues Roman has to face now: his relationship with Remus can wait season 3.

So we have Thomas, Virgil, Patton and Janus all in Roman’s room. And the confrontation can finally take place.

Roman will talk about his issues, his low self-esteem and how he feels constrained by Patton’s morals. He will finally admit how he desperately wanted to go to the callback and how confused he was by morals, when he first sided with Janus, only to be blamed for not siding with him in the following episode. He would start seeing the problem with his black/white mentality and we would have a nice, mature moment with Patton apologizing for giving Roman this mentality - while promising he will grow to be a better Morality. We would also have Roman and Janus properly apologize to each other for everything they said and finally work things out.

And we can end it like this. It could be a nice ending, with some conflicts solved, others still to solve and a lot of hope for the future. Patton would feel even more motivated to keep up with his growth, because he’s not doing it just for himself but for Roman too. Roman would feel better, because now he knows no one will blame or mock him for his insecurities - on the contrary, they would still be by his side no matter what. Janus would learn that cooperation is necessary and that he should keep doing it, because this is the right choice.

And Virgil... well, Virgil would drop hints everywhere about his upcoming “second arc”.

In the first livestream after FWSA, Thomas hinted at a possible “second arc” for Virgil. So, since we have a whole season to fill, I would move Virgil’s arc, his confrontation with Janus and all the dark sides’ dynamics into the beginning of the third season. For now, Virgil may hint at a future confrontation with Janus that should happen in the first episode of season 3.

And what about Thomas?

Thomas would accept Nico’s decision and write him that he will take this time to become a better man. We may even close the episode with Nico smiling for this message, proving that he’s not mad at Thomas, he still loves him and that their relationship isn’t ended at all.

Then, we would have the end card.

And the end card would feature the Side I purposely took away from the whole season two finale. Logan.

After starring in the second Aside, Logan should completely disappear for the following two episodes and for the finale. No one should mention him or even think about him. He wouldn’t appear at all. Until now.

We would see him in a room, looking at the last episode of season 2 on Youtube. His face would be completely expressionless and he wouldn’t say a word, because the only voices would be the ones coming from the pc. The camera would slightly move to show a figure behind him. A small refocus of the camera on a little orange accent on this figure’s clothes.

And bam, the end. No explanations, no voices, nothing else. Just this. Because this would drive the fandom insane. Did Logan know Orange was behind him? Were they watching the episode together? Was Orange trying to kill him or what? What would happen? All questions that would accompany us while waiting for season three.

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And this is how I think the next Asides and the ending of season two will play out. Of course this is pure speculation and the next Aside might be about something completely new that makes my whole plot useless - but hey, that would mean a whole new theory to elaborate :D

In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed my thoughts! And for all the readers, well, feel free to add your own thoughts here about how the events will play out! Maybe one of us will get them right, who knows?